This Paranormal Life - #134 The CHANI Project
Episode Date: October 15, 2019In 1994, researchers at a top secret facility managed to make contact with an 'entity' from another universe. What does this entity want? Why is he so obsessed with Dolphins? Find out on this weeks ep...isode!Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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What ingredients actually go into a witch's brew?
More importantly, how bad is the curse that I will receive after drinking the delicious beverage?
Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life!
Oh, welcome back to the podcast!
You're listening to This Paranormal Life, the weekly show in which we dissect a different paranormal tale, case, or claim every single week and get to the bottom of whether it is truly paranormal or not.
You're joined by your two favorite paranormal investigators in the world.
My name's Kit Greer-Molvena.
My name is Rory Powers.
I was talking there, bud.
Yeah, I'm just excited.
Glad you're here.
I'm just happy to be here.
I'm ready to get into some weird stuff today.
Well, you've come to the right place because we've got a, like every week, a goddamn doozy of a podcast.
Let's not waste any time. Let's just jump right into this thing.
Perfect.
Today's story broke courtesy of Nexus Magazine in 2011.
Had you ever heard of this thing?
Never heard of the magazine. Heard of the year, though.
Well, I hope hope so you were definitely
alive for it so i have to admit i was only peripherally aware of nexus magazine um i'd
definitely seen it out and about but it turns out it's really our kind of magazine it's like a long
running australian alternative news mag and not in like the weird like alternative facts way it
just covers conspiracy theories the
paranormal cool stuff like that it sounds perfect and it's it's quite popular and in 2011 they
publish an article written by someone known only as acolyte all right good name good name pretty
cool name very cool listen if you're gonna have a code name you might as well make it cool yeah you know morpheus yeah neo those guys had it down trinity that's that's as good as it
gets really the problem is it's easy when you're in the first gen but when it it's like gamer tags
10 years into xbox live use no trinity left all there is is like ass munch 1993 yeah that's what you're left with
water hose 69 which isn't that intimidating you know when you're walking around the matrix
right like clothes hanger fox boy death lord 2019 on the defense you know it doesn't have the same
ring to it as like trinity morpheus neo link cypher cypher cypher was pretty he was so
cool he was bad so acolyte claimed in nexus magazine 2011 to be blowing the lid on a truly
unbelievable case one that if true and i realize we say this a lot on this podcast but if true
this would change our understanding of reality
forever which is kind of the bar for entry for this podcast we don't touch anything that isn't
going to change the face of the world 100 acolyte claims that throughout the 90s they worked on
behalf of a top secret research facility in africa the location of which is hidden to this day they describe it as
similar to cern in that they contained colliders and other research labs um we covered cern very
recently in the podcast for those that don't know it's basically scientific mecca it's where they
collide particles at light speed in Switzerland.
A whole bunch of countries all work together, and they invented the internet.
That's all you need to know.
It's basically as paranormal as you can get while still being science.
Right.
They explained that this research facility was heavily guarded by AFRICOM,
who are named quite misleadingly, it turns out.
I assumed this was an army maybe made up of African nations.
But it turns out it's just what the US military call their African division.
Makes sense I guess.
They have their bases in every single country.
And apparently they both guarded this base and maintained its secrecy over the years. And if we've learned anything from previous investigations.
The US military are used to keeping bases
pretty darn secret.
At this location, Acolyte claims that a number
of groundbreaking experiments
and research programs took place,
including space-time fabricating,
simulation by atom replacement and removal,
holographic programming of dark matter,
manifestation of quantum energies,
and more.
Jesus.
I don't know what any of it means,
but it sounds futuristic as all hell.
What's more?
What's more than that?
I know what didn't make the list.
It all seems pretty important.
Yeah, one of them was doing shit with atoms.
Phantom atoms.
But they didn't write to Nexus Magazine to talk about any of those i just mentioned they wrote specifically to talk about the chani project chani stands for
channeled holographic access network interface but i promise the story is way more insane than
this acronym sounds and hopefully a little more sexy too.
Did I mention the porn stars who are at this research facility?
Did I mention Johnny's a sex bot?
I should have led with that.
Sent back from the future to stop humanity's goddamn tracks.
Well, actually, now that I mention that,
this is a project one researcher described as an orgasmic interaction between science, theory, and spirituality.
In this Nexus Magazine article, Acolyte writes about the day they learned about the Chani project.
Quote,
It was last week in June 2006. learned about the Chani project. Quote, quiet time. I stared out the window, not that I had much of a view anyway, but it was a habit.
I wasn't a smoker back then, but little did I know that would soon change.
What to deal with what he saw he has to start smoking?
It was right then my pager beeped SC Oscar now which means station chief office now.
Wouldn't it have been just as long to write out?
Absolutely. Absolutely it would have.
I'm glad you brought that up.
If it needs to be abbreviated, then do the abbreviations.
In the station chief's office, she said,
I want you to clear all your assignments for the next few weeks.
And she slid a single file across her desk.
It was then Acolyte was presented with a large box of documents relating to this case.
In fact, over 20,000 pages of transcript,
with thousands more pages of researchers' notes and analysis too.
Crucially, it was all stamped all over with the word ECHELON,
which apparently is one of the highest security levels of confidentiality.
Wow.
Acolyte wrote,
I realized, damn, this will take months.
This is how I became familiar with a project called Channy and why I took up smoking that day.
That day.
I feel like if that's what made you start smoking, like you were already on the edge.
Yeah, he had already thought about it.
You probably already had a pack in the bottom of your bag and you were like, you know what?
F*** it.
I'm going to...
We're all going to die one day.
I'm going to put Keith on this job.
Actually, we'll just keep you on the projects you're already on.
That's fine.
It's like, what?
Five cigarettes in his mouth.
on the projects you're already on that's fine it's like what five cigarettes in his mouth acolyte discovered that at some point in 1994 a group of researchers used something called the
chani device a combination of hardware machinery and a computer model to establish contact with an
entity who claimed to be from a parallel universe, dimension, or timeline,
and they could communicate through text.
Oh my, what?
Yeah.
This is real emails from the 1400s style story we got going on here.
This is very much a throwback.
Some of our earlier listeners will remember, yeah, emails from the 1500s.
It was this crazy story.
I think it was an English story, right? Of these people who had like an old BBC computer. Yeah. And they were basically getting emails from the past,
which was crazy two-part episode. So if you're into this kind of thing, do check it out.
This has some similarities with that, that they're using technology to receive information,
not from this realm, but from somewhere else.
Now, the details of how this all began are hazy at best,
and it seems as if Acolyte was brought in to work on this project several years already into the research,
and information was being kept on a strictly need-to-know basis only.
Tight lips.
In fact-
Loose lips sink ships, alright folks?
You need to keep that zipped up.
In fact, Acolyte went so far as to say that most of this case is, quote, centrally classified.
Which means it's so damn classified that even the level of classification is itself classified.
Oh, that's great.
So I must leak it, you understand?
Oh, that's great. So I must leak it, you understand?
The briefing for the project is actually inscribed on the lid of a sandwich that is then consumed after the memo is read.
It is top, top secret. The messengers who relay the information are themselves killed in covert operations to cover up the operation the tape recorder that explains the information
is also a six-round revolver that immediately shoots you in the skull after it plays in the
room where they originally discussed the projects cctv footage actually captured a blue bottle fly
in the corner of the room which the next day day was number one on the FBI's most wanted list.
In front of Bin Laden.
Bin Laden is small fry compared to this.
The big fly.
This shanty project whistleblower.
But despite the classification,
the important thing is,
Acolyte worked on the transcripts
of what was actually received from the entity.
And the first message they received was this.
Many things go wrong, 15 May, because door opens with portal to dark matters.
Not understanding earth beings.
Sharon will demise before 15 May.
Oil gets very big sickness.
No use anymore after 15 May.
Old Bush will very sick before 15 May.
Big sickness before 15 May.
Putin missing after 15 may many worry people do crazy things holy shit ladies and gentlemen wow that's a real that's a mouthful what do you make of that
first message from the beyond what the is gonna happen on the 15th of may that's what i want to know there was a few
different dates but it seemed like 15 may overshadowed all of them yeah some bad events
all surrounding the 15th of may it also i mean putin's missing on the 15th of may and and many
worried people do crazy things yeah which doesn't sound good it also seems to be like varying levels of uh importance here
because on the one hand we've got putin goes missing i mean that's pretty weird but at the
same time it also says on the 15th of may a door with a portal to dark matters will open yeah so
also who's sharon i know all these other people but it just starts with sharon will
demise before before 15 may i really don't know but yeah we got a lot of big political figures
here's this yeah at one point the entity starts to move on to kind of the earth itself some says
something about the ocean not sleeping heaven things beware and then it just goes straight back
to political punditry yeah it also said um oil gets very sick sorry oil gets very big sickness
oh wow no use anymore 15 may some of them are on a date very moving earth on 17 aprils but the
others are either before or after a date an acolyte said about the way the entity talks.
At first, the words and spellings that the entity used may strike you as odd,
silly, and even childlike.
But I assure you that even our top neurolinguists were awestruck
by how this simple flow of words, structure, spelling, and positioning
spoke so directly to the reader's being it was
instructive guiding and informative but most noteworthy was its pleasantly gentle and soothing
manner on your ear heart and mind it was a bit of a stretch it was baby talk for adults so acolyte
explained that after this first contact was established, the researchers were able to
engage in a dialogue with the entity, asking questions through the Chani device, and 95%
of the time, they got answers back. By the time Acolyte came to work on the project,
more than 20,000 responses had been recorded. Whoa! How are they not bored yet?
What else is there to say? When i text one of my homies yeah the text
chain is like five texts long it's a couple yeah and then it it dies down yeah it dies down and
then you're like whatever i'll see them soon at some point yeah we'll catch up again are you free
15 may busy 27 aprils yeah yeah we know the big sick okay yeah sure hope you not use oil oil get big
sick no i drive a hybrid it's fine there's no oil oh hybrid get big sick 24th april you could i told
you i was buying the hybrid you could have told me that shit you f***ed up wednesday 4th that's
just in the past that's not even a future prediction.
He just starts saying sentences with dates.
Don't be a dickhead.
Tuesday.
Are you saying don't be a dickhead on Tuesday
or I shouldn't be a dickhead?
Tuesday.
You're a bad friend.
Every day until 27 April.
What happens then?
Murder.
Okay, I'm blocking this number.
I snap. 27th April.
Entity goes loco 15 May.
When there's a robot that's intelligent enough to predict the future,
you don't want it to just be like,
just a heads up, I'm gonna go mad in 24 hours.
You ask Alexa what you've got on that day and she's like 7 p.m tonight y'all
gonna make me lose my mind what i mean dinner with sarah siri what's the weather like tomorrow
irrelevant tomorrow will not come for you huh just for me yes for your wife it will be cloudy cloudy with a hint of dead spouse
okay that's not even beating around the bush anymore she will be mine just starts giggling
how cute acolyte explained in this nexus magazine article the entity explained in some detail to the
researchers that contact was made because the entity was our equivalent of a student,
and he had authority from his elders to interact with, observe, study, and learn from us.
I don't care. Talk to the elders.
The entity explained that his elders noticed us.
This isn't a f***ing game. Oil get big sick. I want to talk to the guy in charge. The elders noticed us when our whole
solar system crossed into their parallel universe. The entity also explained that we weren't the only
race reaching this crossroads or merge, but they could see other alien races from other planets in
the solar system too. Our entity was specifically tasked to study us, humans and earth, while other
students were tasked to study other races and planets. According to the elders, it was because
we humans were playing with dark and portal matters that caused our whole solar system to
traverse into their universe of visibility or perception. Once the elders were able to see us,
they therefore began a research program of their able to see us, they therefore began
a research program of their own to study us and our history, so that the elders could prepare
their civilization for our arrival or merge. Oh boy. I don't know if you want to do a lot of
research into the history of the human race. You're going to see some pretty grisly things.
Yeah, we don't really merge as as a race do we as a species
you can imagine these elders being like how fantastic another species on the astral realm
crossing over let us deep dive into their history and and learn from these creatures and oh my god
they're just killing each other they're just shitting and murdering! Stop the merger!
Stop them pulling all the cables out of their friggin' merge machine.
We saw them drinking tea five minutes ago.
We thought they were bloody civilized.
Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Something's coming up.
WW1. This'll be good.
Oh my God!
To help researchers get a time frame for when the merge of realities would occur,
the entity gave them predictions that served as indicators for when the time was close.
All these predictions were used as a sequence of steps or indicators
to identify the time or fuse year when the big event, the merge, would occur.
Wow.
So I thought this was pretty cool, kind of a new concept for this paranormal life,
that an alien or paranormal contact would take place not just due to a UFO landing,
but due to an actual collision of galaxies,
which, after all, scientists know that that will happen.
Eventually our galaxy will collide with another one.
And what happens when it does?
If an alien being was sufficiently advanced to predict a collision like this,
could it predict other events in our galaxy?
So I think the best way of exploring this further is just running some more readings by you,
as leaked by Acolyte.
And one of the cool things is that they don't just talk about future predictions
but the entity would answer questions about all kinds of things for example the researchers asked
the entity about free will and it said this me ask elders about explain free will better
elders say me explain like this god give you egg egg is their egg already created egg exist
you use it keeps it keeps saying it frowell i believe he's trying to say free will i think
it's free will yeah you use frowell decide what to do about egg you can make choice. Boil egg, eat egg. You can make choice.
Bake egg, eat egg.
He's stalling at this point.
You can make choice.
You leave egg, but egg get rotten.
But egg still there.
He's waiting for the elders to come back, checking his watch.
You can make choice.
You not eat other animal, so you throw egg away.
Egg get rotten somewhere else.
But egg still exist.
You will smell egg eventually.
Eventually you must decide and deal with egg.
Time collide is like egg.
Eventually you must decide what you want to do with time collide and deal with it.
I'm waiting for him to go.
You could eat time collide. You bake time collide. deal with it i'm waiting for him to go you could eat time collide you bake
time collide you can wait it but time collide go rotten uh he said you cannot change what god
created but with fray will you must decide what you do with time collide okay me say eat egg because egg good for you before before get rotten then egg very bad for
you is he saying embrace the time collide just get it over with i don't understand
well if that comparison is right it's embrace the time collide yeah because it's good but if you
don't embrace it it'll get rotten and it'll
be very bad for you i don't see how we can either embrace or run away from time collide i think it's
gonna happen whether we want it to or not i'm not sure it is like an egg at all that's the equivalent
of the egg being smashed against your face that's what the time collide is it's like look i'm going
to smash this raw egg into your head
you can either open your mouth or just take it on the cheek that's exactly what's happening right
here he's like i suggest you just open your mouth because it's good for you because egg is no i'll
take it on the cheeks or i think we can all realize that is too damn true i think we can all realize
the elders were out at the time of the call it doesn't seem like
something any type of elder would say no and this is one of my favorites where the entity treads a
very fine line between very profound and interesting and just straight up stoner chat presumably this
was a late night in their galaxy after a few space brews and smokes me try explain this better he's like five eggs deep at this point he's
rotten eggs by the way he's off his off his alien tits you are god in your universe but you're not
god in god's universe you need to understand this you can only be god in your own universe
you cannot be god in god's universe okay wow he's he's
he's not even asking big questions he's just telling big answers i don't think they even asked
nobody asked that okay so we know a little about what this supposed entity said to researchers
and that was kind of the highlight reel of 20,000 responses. But we still have many unanswered questions about both how and why this came to light.
And the answer to this was not something I expected.
To understand more, Acolyte explained his role in all of this.
Around the end of 2005, the Chani project files were handed over to the Rubicon station for Project Reveal. As the name suggests, Rubicon deals with information
that has been deemed to have reached a point of no return.
When public interaction becomes a necessity, the information is released.
Wow.
Rubicon was and is tasked with the release of classified information for public consumption
in a controlled fashion through various platforms and outlets.
One of these platforms is Internet Discussion Forums.
Once the information and intel or intelligence, everyone knew what that meant, once the information
is released, public responses of individuals and groups are recorded and analyzed.
Depending on their reaction, further information is then released.
I was a Rubicon revealer. One part of my- Wait, I thought he was part of Chani.
Yes, he's also a revealer. Okay. One part of my duties was to frequent internet discussion forums,
observing, reporting, and identifying possible outlets where Rubicon reveal information could That's a pretty good analogy, I guess.
It's a bit wordy.
It's a bit sinister, too.
Thus, on a cold wintry day in June 2006,
I flipped the electronic switch to lock my office door and unpacked those boxes all over my desk. I already had an idea about which forums
I wanted to release the information on, so I began posting a few threads on a popular forum,
Godlike Productions, to test the water. As the forum is widely known to be a conspiracy lunatic
fringe site, I created a persona to suit. When the time came, I created the now infamous thread
that alerted the internet to the existence of the Chani project, titled, Me Tell You Now So You
Believe Me After 15 May. Now whilst this was considered a success due to the public response to the information on
the forum and the fact that the thread is still one of the apparently top 10 threads on that forum
the dissemination of information through forums for Chani was stopped after Rubicon stopped
working on this case. So today we are just left with the many items of transcript from Acolyte
to read and interpret um i guess they
didn't want to blow the whistle too loud and pop everyone's ears yeah which i think by podcasting
about we're doing right now oh yeah this is a big whistle folks and we are not blowing it softly
i've got my whole mouth around the tip of it and we are just we're spluttering like a primary school pd teacher just screaming
into the whistle my diaphragm now is like a raisin that's how much i have how much air has exuded
from my body right now my diaphragm is like a goddamn egg rotten egg crumbling away choose to
leave it as it is or i could choose to cram it in the whistle now the obvious question
here is why did rubicon stop working on chani it's simple they lost contact with the entity
oh no after they made contact in 1994 they enjoyed regular research over the next five years
but at the same time the threat of y2k was looming now some of our younger listeners won't remember
this but in 1999 everyone thought the world was about to end once the calendar rolled around to 2000 apparently it
was a real threat i kind of barely remember yeah i remember it reasonably well yeah the idea was
that computers weren't built to handle the date 2000 and that airplanes were going to drop out of the sky yeah like mainframes would
crash information will be lost similar to uh the a blade runner-esque blackout where everyone's
private information is wiped off servers actually sounds pretty dope it would have been incredible
honestly i'm waiting for some sort of uh activist group to just do it anyway and in the meantime
i'm just racking up credit card debt after credit card debt yeah because it's coming so i don't need to think about the consequences
why 2020 is around the corner folks there's no reason why 2020 would do anything of the sort
also it immediately deletes and wipes our entire podcast good thing this thing's bulletproof, baby. So the Chani researchers had to adapt and
upgrade all of their systems to work after Y2K while maintaining whatever freak accident of
science was allowing them to send trans-dimensional emails. In the end, they failed. On November 14th,
1999, one of their system changes meant they lost contact indefinitely. Months were spent trying
to re-establish contact but it was not to be and in April 2000 the research part of Chani came to
an end. Like I said all we are left with is the entity's texts to interpret for ourselves. So
basically I've saved the most bizarre and confusing ones for the end of our podcast here.
Here's one example where the entity seems to reveal an obsession with dolphins. So one day
the researchers received the following message.
This planet first all water, then ground comes. Dolphin deciding to walk ground on
your planet. Many wars happen, then dolphin evolve. Remember water glory.
Dolphin then go back and swim water glory. Seawater
has caused residue
from dolphin communication.
Dolphin squeak because vibration of
seawater to become beacon
and balance energy. Dolphin more
advanced than human, this planet
limetime. You must
study dolphin. Dolphin keep You must study, Dolphin.
Dolphin, keep your Earth balance.
Dolphin, protect all planet,
all creature on Earth with God essence.
Now, human, kill too many Dolphin.
Before time, we want to rescue Dolphin.
Bring them our planet.
Share, Dolphin, agree, come our Limetime.
15 May, we prepare place. This is written by a f***ing dolphin.
Dolphins are most smart.
Many being live deep in ocean, and hollow earth... Here we go.
Hollow earth can give you human answers and helpings.
When you understand Oceon, you will understand how cosmic travelings work easy, okay?
Oceon have same compositing than space, same element, okay?
It's not.
It's 100% not.
You understand salt and water and magnets, you will understand life and everything in it.
Acolyte did agree.
you will understand life and everything in it acolyte did agree uh and uh he mentioned uh we should keep an eye on dolphin behavior and events involving dolphins in the next few years so just
keep an eye out folks so correct me if i'm wrong but he's implying that the world was all water
and the dolphins i guess ruled the world in glory. And they contain some sort of mythical powers to heal all creatures.
They seem, apparently they are balancing all energy on Earth.
Okay.
And that without the dolphins we'd be f***ed somehow.
Of course, yeah.
At one point, the entity just straight up asks about milk.
Me ask question now.
Why you adults still drink milk why you drink
mother milk from other species not human wow uh that's i guess that's a pretty good question it's
an interesting point why not you human drink dolphin milk dolphin milk grant immortality
and finally um seemingly out of nowhere theity starts railing about how the Moon was put there after the creation of Earth and that it's bad for us somehow.
Acolyte wrote,
Apparently, the Entity's elders destroyed their Moon because they wanted to get rid of the Moon's influence.
The elders said that, on Earth, an old race captured the Moon from space and put it next to earth they said as a kind
of yelp review for getting rid of your moon they said the most notable changes if you get rid of
your moon mood and temperament of all the beings there without the moon they became more calm and
peaceful okay um apparently the weather wasn't as bad once they got rid of the moon. Uh, weather's much calmer, less thunderstorms.
Um, apparently there's more colors.
Here we go.
Once you get rid of the moon.
Cause I, like, I'm fine with seasons.
I don't mind a bit of wind.
Sure.
A bit of rain.
Yeah, it's kind of cozy.
You know, people's mental health fluctuates.
I think that's an independent thing.
Not relating to the moon.
More colors?
Land dweller.
Now you're speaking my language.
Yeah, more colors.
That sounds pretty dope.
100%.
Apparently a lot of people got telepathic abilities once they got rid of the moon.
Amazing.
Yeah.
And also, oh wow, children born after they got rid of the moon were able to hold their
breath underwater for hours.
Like a dolphin.
Much like a dolphin.
Like I say, the Chani Project and the Rubicon Project reveal were brought to an abrupt end in the mid-2000s.
And like I say, we're left with all this moon knowledge, water glory information, questions about milk.
But I guess at the end of every investigation we have to decide
whether the case is truly paranormal or not so rory what do you think was project chani really
contact with a paranormal entity that's a good question kit is there any other recorded instances
of other whistleblowers talking about this project any declassified documents any leaked
documents uh in regards to this specific project you would think right that if so many people
worked on this that someone else is talking about it um but rory what you're forgetting is that this
is centrally classified so classified we don't even know how classified it is right uh and the
only way the only way these cia sons of bitches are telling anyone about it is through conspiracy
theory internet forums there's no freedom of information act request we can we can throw out
there you gotta go talk to crusty baguette 23 over in godlike productions
forum if you want to know of course yeah uh so no that is a problem with this case we're relying on
acolyte granted this was obviously vetted and vouched for by nexus magazine kind of cool for
a large magazine publication to make this into a big story.
Yeah.
But we only have one source for this information.
That's a problem.
That is a problem.
But as you said, you know,
with classified missions like this,
you can't expect to have documents show up out of nowhere.
There's no paper trail.
No, there's no paper trail.
Even, you know, massive conspiracies
that have been overcome and had documents released.
That's nothing compared to operations like this.
Yeah.
You know, if the public demanded through the Freedom of Information Act that papers regarding Project Chani had to be released, the government would shut down the laboratory, burn down nuke the ashes right and then take
that radiation material and shoot it to mars yeah nothing's coming out of an operation like this
it's airtight ziplocked the scientists that send the rocket to mars are all assassinated and their
bodies are sent to pluto it's a massive cover-up. We're not going to see anything beyond internet forums.
And that's a problem whenever you're trying to determine whether something really happened or
not, because we don't know if this is a top tier echelon classified case that they want us to think
is not true. They want us to think this is conspiracy nonsense. Or it's conspiracy nonsense.
Yeah, it's either one. Unfortunately-
It's really a flip of a coin, to be honest.
Unfortunately, the entity hung around and gave us just enough rope for us to hang himself with.
You talked about eggs for a little too long.
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
And also, there's enough facts that I know about the universe that I understand to be absolute truths.
Which says a lot about the level of scientific knowledge of this entity because we're not experts on space.
Exactly.
But I'm pretty sure the moon is good.
I'm pretty sure the moon actually controls a lot of the things on Earth that are pretty essential.
I'm pretty sure space isn't made of the same element as water.
Yeah. earth that are pretty essential i'm pretty sure space isn't made of the same element as water yeah at first i mean this started with just naming politicians who were going to get very sick yeah and that was you know predictions about events that are going to take place in the future
of the world i'm all on board for that yeah but eggs water glory telepathic children when the moon is bombed.
That's all a little far-fetched for me to commit to when the only source that we have is a post on an internet forum.
I think I see where you're going with this, Rory.
Personally, I love this story.
It's got so many unique elements for a paranormal case to investigate
and has a lot of quite quite cool novel ideas this thing of
rather than contact coming from a ufo in the sky or even just a goddamn portal here on earth it's
to do with parallel dimensions merging into each other it somehow seems like more scientifically
grounded that there could be a meeting of vastly different parts of the universe crashing into each
other yeah we know there's life out there so maybe one day it will make contact maybe it will make
contact through a machine yeah something like this all i know is it's not going to be banging on
about eggs and dolphins i couldn't agree more and that's why today it is a double no that's right
folks to the case of Chani Project.
I hope that doesn't come as a great disappointment to anyone.
Let us know what you think of this case.
Folks, send in your emails to thisparanormallifepodcast at gmail.com.
We just get hundreds of emails about eggs and free will.
All of our listeners right at the end were just about to jump into the ocean for water glory
and they're like what oh no but a fantastic case really enjoyed researching that one and if you
guys enjoyed this week's podcast and maybe you enjoyed last week's podcast too hell maybe you
can't get enough of this paranormal life and if you didn't enjoy it why are you here back off all
right okay just give them a break watch your watch it it's maybe their first episode we're trying really hard we actually try really hard every week to do research and make jokes
okay right but you don't like it if you don't like i'm i'm gonna go buck wild on you dude i
will be where is this coming from sorry pretty calm the whole episode as well i just got fired
up i i don't know what at because it's just me and you in the room yeah i know but just the thought
that someone didn't enjoy it
and listened to the whole show to get to this point.
If they have the audacity to do that.
How dare you?
You know what?
I'm pretty mad too.
It's a double no for your life existing, you little SOB.
You have the audacity to give this show a fair shot.
Big mistake, pal.
Back the way you came.
Rewind through the entire episode that's right using the backwards 15 second button yeah don't just drag the circle no back 15 back
15 the whole way back if sorry i think we we got way hot because that was a pretty well-tempered
episode and then we just kind of lost it we've got pretty clean through a lot of information but yeah fell at the last hurdle all right if you enjoyed all 130 plus episodes of this paranormal
life but you still can't get enough um there's a treasure trove of too hot for tv shit over at
patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life we get sent crazy stories that we just can't cover
in the main cast listener recommendations and requests
and we deep dive on those in a very very aggressive way and upload them to patreon.com
where for five bucks you can get access to a host of bonus episodes from 20 bucks you can get this
paranormal life t-shirt that grants you immediate access to this paranormal life cult i mean commune
so head on over if you dare if you dare if you got the nerves but another great place to hang
out if you enjoyed this episode is the this paranormal life secret society
haven't talked about it in a minute because i was getting a little full over there to be honest
turns out a lot of people can't keep a goddamn secret yeah a couple thousand people now it's yeah it's getting
a lot of control we wanted it to be like jesus the goddamn 12 apostles our go-to guys and gals
yeah in the nation but uh it's way out of control yeah because we don't have those jesus powers
all right we can't make fish and what and and bread out of fish and bread
no we gotta buy that shit from tesco and when there's thousands of you it really racks up it's
actually pretty expensive head on over to facebook.com forward slash this paranormal life
you'll find our secret society there bring your own fish and bread there's none left at the end
of every episode we like to take the time to shout out everyone who supported us on Patreon.
That's what we're going to do right now.
Let's go.
Special thank you to Phoebe Merrill.
Well, if it isn't Phoebe Merrill.
Buzz buzz.
Oh, wow.
Is she a bee or just a beekeeper?
She's absolutely a dolphin.
Whoa, what?
In the heart of her water glory.
It's a bit of a misnomer,
but she got that from her land dwelling ancestors,
but they went back in the sea once they realized what was up.
It's very much up to you as well.
Cause you went buzz buzz after you said her name.
So even if it was B,
you should have gone buzz buzz.
You even did little wings with your arms.
Hope you're enjoying the honey down there under the ocean,
Phoebe.
Thank you also to Sam Wood wood sam wood jams good crazy guitar solo you got a sam um we could do
with the house band in the commune to be honest it's been a little dry and silent yeah that's a
really good point actually we don't have a lot of music nights. It's mostly just open night poetry, some freeform poetry.
Yeah.
And then there's Tax Day, which is another event that's pretty weekly.
The poetry is getting a bit dark.
Yeah.
It's mostly anti-tax day poetry, which through some sick loophole we can't shut down.
We're creating a monster, really.
So, Sam, we could do with some upbeat licks to say the least sam writes an entire opera about how much tax day sucks
thanks also to ben mitchell ben mitchell ditched hell what yeah he just freaking escaped is that
possible yeah they don't actually tell you that but obviously you have to get in hell some way
there's just like one of those army style ropes hanging down.
And if you just have the upper body strength to frankly just climb on out, you can do it.
Yeah, it's a real like Mulan style be a man challenge where if you're actually just badass, badass enough, you can go to heaven.
You climb your way to heaven.
That's insane.
It's crazy.
Really?
That seems bad.
A bad system.
Oh, yeah. Again again it's like a weird
loophole down there the devil's pissed about it thanks also to andy eeklove andy eeklove went
down to hell with heat gloves that's right he knew that rope was gonna be hot this is crazy
that's right how do these people know they're going to hell? Ben actually runs a pretty bad gang of people.
They all know they're going to hell, and they all know about the secret rope.
So they're wearing oven mitts.
They're dying in oven mitts, just so they can have them in the afterlife.
Turns out you can take it with you.
Take it all with you.
Save people.
Thanks also to Jordan Stone.
Of course, his name is jordan stone now but um back
in the olden days it was jordan water when he was in water glory of course this was back before us
humans really took over the place but uh jordan was borderline leader of the dolphin fleets
yeah he actually served in all of the dolphin wars he
started them he insinuated some really negative things about another gang of dolphins and it just
created it was nuclear nuclear this war really that's why they had to go underwater that makes
a lot of sense thanks also to christine henry move over sistine chapel we've got the christine chapel what that is the biggest chapel in the
paranormal commune not very big it's not that big sure but it's where the peasants and the kings
come to pray to the gods to just end tax day to be rid of it there's no money left
and the christine chapel is the only place where they can vent their frustrations they don't give a shit about heaven or hell any of that stuff mostly just about tax day yeah beautiful chapel
the taxes are high i'll give i'll give them that the taxes are high thanks also to alfie pitts
alfie pitts is in bits that's right over tax day uh he makes a lot of money he makes a lot of money but we do take most of it almost all of
it actually yeah that's true and the more the more you make the more we take that's that's the rule
and that's how most countries operate yeah it's just most countries don't well they don't hold
you at knife point but like yeah alfie knows the more you make, the more we take. And if you don't give, the more we break of your body.
So Alfie's pretty compliant.
He is in bits though, he really is.
Thanks also to Grant Aparicio.
You know, before we mentioned about the blue bottle fly being there to soak up all that confidential information when the CIA are disclosing it.
But Grant the Ant was also in the room.
Oh, shit.
And this little bastard flew under the radar.
You're blowing his cover right now.
Of course I am, but it's time for everyone to know
about the biggest whistleblower in town.
You know ants can carry up to 200 times their own body weight?
Yeah.
Using that logic, they can blow a whistle 200 times harder own body weight yeah using that logic they can blow a whistle
200 times harder than a human man they can blow a goddamn foghorn ladies and
gentlemen and grants doing it more power to you thanks also to Lisa Flynn Lisa
Flynn has lots of in that's right she's She's a dolphin? No, a bee.
She's a bee?
She makes honey on the daily.
Why does she have fins then?
What?
You made a dolphin noise?
You did like a little dolphin squeak?
I did a little bee.
Bees don't squeak.
When was the last time you listened to put your ear up to a bee?
Is that why you have all those bee stings on the side of your head?
That's why one side of my face is twice the size of the other.
Yeah.
Lisa actually got me pretty bad.
She nicked me right in the jugular.
Turns out she wants cash for that, honey.
Thanks also to Ian Connolly.
Well, if it isn't being Ian.
All right.
Is being Ian a wasp
or a bee or a dolphin?
He's just a guy. Why are you being weird
about this? Why would he be
any of those things? Because of that.
Because you make bee noise.
You called him a bee called Connelly?
It's the most human
name I've ever heard. Okay, sure.
Fine. So he's just a human?
He comes from a long line of Fine. So he's just a human? He comes from a long
line of dolphins. So he's a dolphin!
He's mostly
human though. Mostly.
Mostly human, part dolphin, half
bee.
Mostly human, half dolphin,
all bee.
But thanks Bee and Ian.
And thanks lastly but not leastly
to Dean Brown.
Dean Brown's bees drown.
He's a bad bee and a worse dolphin.
He can't swim.
He can't fly.
His honey tastes like ash.
It's a mistake of crossbreeding gone wrong.
Yeah.
We're looking at a dolphin?
A dolly?
What's dolphin and bee combined he's yeah a dolphin is as good as it gets i think yeah for what this is unfortunately the one place
that doesn't need honey is the bottom of the ocean um hopefully dean bean will figure that
out one day but until then i guess only the fish get to snack on his delicious honey.
I think sugar dissolves in water, doesn't it?
Shit.
Thank you, Dean.
And thank you, everyone we've shouted out today.
And everyone we are yet to shout out.
We are getting there slowly but surely through our Patreon shout outs.
So thank you so much for being very patient with us.
Hope you enjoyed this week's episode.
We'll be back next week with a brand new
paranormal tale