This Paranormal Life - #157 The Vanishing: The True Mystery Disappearance at Eilean Mor
Episode Date: March 24, 2020When three lighthouse keepers go missing in remote and desolate western Scotland overnight, who goes looking for them? It turns out the answer is more lighthouse keepers. Every stone they overturned r...evealed ever more mysterious details, and even some paranormal clues.Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityAdvertise on This Paranormal Life via Gumball.fmIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Do we all see the same colors?
What if Leonardo da Vinci, the greatest artist of all time, wasn't actually human?
Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life!
Yo!
Welcome back to This Paranormal Life.
This is the weekly podcast.
Every week we get to the bottom of a different paranormal tale, case, or claim
and discover whether it is truly paranormal or not.
As always, you are joined by myself, Mr. Kit Greer-Molvena.
This guy, actually not in the same room as me.
No, I'm down the hall.
This is a This Paranormal Life first, folks.
That's right.
Not quite recording in separate locations, but in separate rooms.
No, you might expect that someday we would record in different locations, but in separate rooms. No, you might expect that someday
we would record in different locations.
Maybe, you know, someone's off on location
doing a secret investigation.
No, no, no, we're in the same building.
Yeah, I'm technically still on parole,
so legally I'm not allowed to be
beyond 100 feet from Kit at any time.
Yeah, the offense was against me,
which is the f***ed up thing.
And I, whilst i have a
restraining order of course we still have a podcast they gave us one of those ankle bracelets but it's
not like one of those ones that starts beeping it's like one of the ones from f***ing saw it'll
just detonate and blow our legs off if we get too far away from each other remember wild wild west
starring will smith they had, I think, neck bracelets.
Did they?
I never saw it.
Wait, was it not a cowboy movie?
Yes.
Right.
And yet they had giant steel necklaces
that razor blades would seek and destroy them
cutting off their head.
The technology was there all along.
This is besides the point, ladies and gentlemen.
As always, we have a brand new investigation to dive right into. head the technology was there all along uh this is besides the point ladies and gentlemen as always
we have a brand new investigation to dive right into uh thank you so much to mikey g for sending
this one into us at this paranormal life podcast at gmail.com rory without further ado this story
begins on december 26th 1900 in scotland one captain j James Harvey, had been charged with delivering a lighthouse keeper to a remote island,
one of the outer Hebrides off the west coast of Scotland, a place called Illyn Moor.
And so Captain Harvey and his men, plus the replacement lighthouse keeper, Joseph Moore, boarded the Hesperus in the mist on
Boxing Day 1900.
You know, you got Christmas dinners over with.
You're done.
You had a good time with the family.
Now it's time to become a lighthouse keeper.
It's back to the real f***ing world.
Exactly.
I like it.
A lot of people back to the office.
Like you say, maybe the leftover Christmas Day sandwich, you know, in their packed lunch.
This guy's on a f***ing boat. 7am, to the utter ebredies.
That's a harsh wake-up call.
As they are sailing, Captain Harvey is staring into the mist,
until he slowly sees the large rock come into view.
While he stares, he reflects on the island's history,
how it's known as one of the Seven Hunters.
he reflects on the island's history, how it's known as one of the Seven Hunters.
They say that an Irish saint called Flannan visited Illinmore in the 7th century,
and there built a chapel. But there was always something different about these islands,
Illinmore in particular. Shepherds used to bring their sheep to the island to graze during winter,
but they knew never to stay overnight for fear of what might happen to them.
That's a pain in the ass.
You're just taking the sheep over to have some grass,
and then when it's sundown, you're like,
oh, Jesus Christ, get him in the boat.
Where are we again? Cursed island?
How good is that grass?
I'm pretty sure there's plenty of grass in the regular Scotland, by the way.
It's hard enough to shepherd sheep on land, let alone across an ocean.
It's said that the shepherds even called the island the other country.
Everyone felt the mysterious air that surrounded this island.
People who weren't religious were moved to pray while on the island.
Some held bizarre superstitions the man aboard captain harvey's ship had heard some even circled the chapel ruins on their knees
in the 1700s a scholar called martin martin wrote that people not a real person uh i'm sorry he's a
very important religious scholar uh rory. Did you stutter? What?
You said Martin Martin.
Is that his first and second name?
No, I didn't stutter.
Of course he has two names.
He's a pretty important guy.
He has at least two names, probably more if we're being honest.
For all we know, it could be Martin Martin Martin.
Okay.
Martin's friend, Steve Steve.
All right, that's enough.
Martin wrote that people made pilgrimages to Ilan Mor
and would perform strange rituals, removing their hats and making sunwise turns on the island's plateau.
Something that sounded like a druidic ritual from thousands of years earlier.
I mean, I had never even heard this term, sunwise, but I think it's just clockwise, but it's like the druid version.
There's only so many ways you can
spin which i assumed was clockwise and anti-clockwise i'm not sure what sunlight maybe
that's when your head decapitates itself and rolls down your back well or something i have no idea i
guess it makes sense because clocks i haven't thought about how silly this sounds. Clocks haven't existed for that long.
So what was clockwise before there were clocks?
It was sunwise.
What?
What?
How did you spin in a circle?
How did you spin the right way before a clock existed?
You couldn't call it clockwise because there hadn't been a clock.
I guess, and then it would be the way the shadows would move on a sundial.
You're actually pretty smart.
I wouldn't have thought of that.
But actually, you probably would have been king back in the day with those kind of ideas.
Whereas spinning moon-wise is how I think you get into Narnia.
But in 1900, all that remained of the chapel were ruins.
That begs the question, why build a chapel
for an island that no one lives on? Legend has it that the Irish saint fled from the
island after construction, claiming to be tormented by magical beings.
Llan Tó!
The man's focus snapped back to reality as they docked at Illinmore. Except, immediately, something wasn't right.
The flagstaff was bare, and more importantly, no one had come to greet them on landing. In fact,
the landing wasn't prepared at all. Staring up at the lighthouse, they saw no signs of movement.
Captain Harvey first sounded the ship's horn and stared up for a reaction. Nothing.
Then he sent up a flare to light up the mist and attract attention.
But again, nothing.
Uh-oh.
Christ, maybe they're asleep.
Let's go wake them up.
The men tied the boat up and heaved onto shore, and as they walked towards the lighthouse and started the ascent up the steep steps to the entrance,
Captain Harvey reported
feeling an overwhelming sense of foreboding, as if something bad was awaiting them. When they reached
the top step and Captain Harvey reached for the door handle, it opened right away. It was unlocked.
Strange, he thought. And as that salty sea door creaked open, it was dark inside, but he could
make out his surroundings. On the wall inside the door, there were three coat hooks, one each for
Thomas Marshall, Donald MacArthur, and James Ducat. But there were only two large oilskin coats.
Weird, he thought. Where was the other one? Further inside, there was a kitchen
table, set with plates of meat, potatoes, and pickles. Clearly a meal had been started here,
but not finished. In fact, next to the table there was even a chair, but it was turned over on its
side. Captain! What is it? Take a look at this, sir. The clock. I can see that it's a clock, man.
I mean, yes, but it's stopped, sir. The clock is stopped.
The men searched the lighthouse, but found no other trace of where the three keepers could be.
Damn it. We'll need to search the whole island. Everyone spread out.
But as the men took off in different directions, Captain Harvey thought to himself,
none of this makes any sense. The first rules of lighthouse keeping say the post has to be
manned at all times. The three are absolutely forbidden from going anywhere together.
Second rule, don't tell anyone about lighthouse keeping.
No, no, no. People have to know about the lighthouse. That's the whole point of a lighthouse.
Otherwise, people are going to crash.
That's exactly what they want us to do. Use this place as a beacon. No one to know about the lighthouse. That's the whole point of a lighthouse. Otherwise, people are going to crash. That's exactly what they want us to do.
Use this place as a beacon.
No one must know about the lighthouse.
There's like hundreds of ships crashing into the rocks.
First off, I think it's a pretty poor idea for the three men to instantly split up on this cursed island and go their separate ways into the mist.
I see what you're saying.
I see what you're saying.
It's a pretty small island, I will say. that's one thing about this picture that should be painted yeah it's pretty damn small i did i called it a large rock in the beginning for a
reason and even that was a bit bold it's it's a babble they didn't have to sail they hop skipped
and jumped from glasgow the lighthouse a firefly. Of course. It was a bug.
That's why there weren't any coats.
Bugs don't have coats.
That's pretty brave.
Especially when you're going away from the one thing that can pull you all back together.
I guess maybe that's not a bad idea because then you could be like, hey, you go north,
you go south, you go west.
All of us meet back at the lighthouse.
The thing we can all freaking see from the moon.
Except, you know, on Cursed Island,
compasses aren't working.
Oh, hell no.
There's no north.
It's sunwise here.
There's no clockwise, anti-clockwise.
The sea fog is coming in thick.
I can't see my own eyes.
He's a pirate now, by the way.
He stopped being Scottish.
He's got on two pirate eye patches.
I can't see shit.
And it seemed he was right.
The men returned from scouring
the island. There was no trace
of the missing three. If they
had left, it wasn't on foot.
Captain Harvey immediately set
about sending a telegram to headquarters
in Edinburgh.
A dreadful accident has happened at Flannans.
The three keepers, Ducat, Marshall
and the occasional,
have disappeared from the island. On our arrival air this afternoon no sign of life was to
be seen on the island. Fired a rocket but as no response was made managed to land Moore,
who went up to the station but found no keepers there. The clocks were stopped and other signs
indicated that the accident must have happened about a week ago.
Poor fellows, they must have been blown over the cliffs or drowned or something like that.
Night coming on, we could not wait to make something as to their fate. I have left Moore,
MacDonald, Boymaster and two seamen on the island to keep the light burning until you make other arrangements. True enough, Harvey had done all he could to make sense of the men's disappearance.
It was in the hands of his superiors now.
And just a few days later,
a senior member of the lighthouse board,
Robert Meerhead, arrived at the island
to investigate the unfolding mystery.
This seems like a kind of a weird person
to bring on board to help the situation.
Because, I mean, you probably should bring someone
who's like chief of police. Three are dead maybe a detective you don't need the head of the
lighthouse board yeah i did think that myself like not even like yeah ambulance people like that
emergency workers of some kind yeah because you know he's going to show up and he's like all right
what seems to be the problem boys is that a light out do you need to fuse change three people dead all
missing he's like what why'd you what'd you call me over for it took three days to get here and
you're saying i've come to an island where there's a murderer you ever heard of the first 48 it's
long gone yeah it seems like a weird person to bring over he's not gonna be able to help the
situation yeah he like you say he brings just a shitload of spare bulbs yeah they seems like a weird person to bring over he's not gonna be able to help the situation yeah he like you say he brings just a shipload of spare bulbs yeah they're like you know it's
one big bulb by the way it's not 50 000 small bulbs robert traced the same footsteps that
captain harvey had taken just days previously hoping to find something they missed the first time around. A clue. He found nothing.
Nothing except for the truth. The lighthouse log book. Oh, okay. As he sat at the deserted kitchen
table, he opened the log and flicked past countless routine entries to the most recent ones.
But immediately he was confused. In the days leading up to the final
entry, there were mentions of bad weather, that over the days, this turned into a storm.
The only problem was, there had never been a storm. At least, not according to anyone in the
neighboring islands. Lighthouse keepers and sailors should be the first people to know about the weather and yet an entry
for the 12th of december mentioned severe winds the likes of which i have never seen before in 20
years wow from going from apparently no storm to the worst storm of your life i mean these are
grizzly seamen as well they've probably seen some pretty bad winds for sure the fact that they're saying this is the
worst they've seen in 20 years how bad can wind be before it just picks you up before it's just
divine intervention before the lighthouse is carried away yeah like you say these men are
very very experienced not a lot of people know but to be a lighthouse keeper in western scotland
it's a birthright as a baby you're strapped Moses-style to the inside of a small canoe.
You're let loose in the fjords of Norway, and you've got to make it back to Glasgow.
And if you make it, you're a storm child for the rest of your life.
Even more disturbingly, it mentions that James Ducat, the most senior lighthouse keeper, had gone very quiet.
While William MacArthur had been crying and cowering in the corner of the room.
That's not good.
I mean, these things are like, these are like the space station of the Earth.
They're like the old school space stations.
Like, these are the, we put the best of the best in here.
They got to keep everyone else safe by keeping their cool, being level-headed.
It's Galactic 12 shit.
It's old school Galactic 12 shit.
Yeah.
It's not good if one is in the corner crying.
Yeah, that's never a good sign.
If you're supposed to be the light guiding ships away from sudden death, you can't be
breaking down.
You can't be crumbling under the pressure.
You can't be spooked by heavy winds.
Yeah.
you can't be crumbling under the pressure you can't be spooked by heavy winds yeah it's kind of the point of your job is you can't ask for help because your job is keeping people as far away
from you as possible yeah you know there's a massive problem if you're seeing flares shooting
out of the lighthouse you're seeing some kind of armed gunfight going on just gunshots and
flashes of lightning coming flashes of light coming from
a lighthouse that's like the equivalent of a small sinking boat coming across the titanic
and being like oh thank god we're safe this massive cruiser can help us and then you see
as it's ripped in two and you're like oh shit none of this made any sense. Even if they were right about the weather,
why would experienced lighthouse keepers be scared of a storm?
They were in a brand new lighthouse,
over 100 feet above sea level,
almost 150 feet apparently.
Why were they fearing for their lives?
13th of December, one day later,
the logbook entry said the storm was getting worse
and that all three men had been
praying together then after i'm sorry is something funny to you this just i don't know because first
it's the martin martin thing and now you're laughing at people praying for their lives so
what are they what are they so scared of this is what i'm eager to find out that's what we don't
know the storm of all storms i guess they just look out that window
they're just seeing like the day after tomorrow stop 300 foot tsunami
because you just you can't come back to land and say you quit your job as a lighthouse keeper and
the reason is too stormy no because that's what your job is. Yeah. That's like a fireman retiring because it was too hot.
It doesn't make any sense.
That is the job.
I would love to see that. Imagine a plumber handing in his notice and being like,
I'm f***ing soaking.
This sucks.
It's the pool attendant who can't swim.
Absolutely.
So it's going to have to take a lot to spook men
who are supposed to be a beacon of safety.
Then, after a series of routine details in the logbook, Robert read the final entry.
Just eight words, dated December 15th.
Storm ended.
Sea calm.
God is over all.
Robert looked at the room around him. What did it all mean? On the
coat hangers there was only one coat missing, but surely they should all be missing. If there was
the worst storm in 20 years, if the men had to go outside, why didn't they put on their coats?
It was December in the Hebrides where the temperature is regularly freezing throughout
winter. They wouldn't risk the cold like that. Why had they left in a hurry? And why all three at once when they knew it was against
everything they'd been taught? Robert went back outside to examine the surroundings.
He did find signs of the storm. A box of mooring ropes had disappeared, broken off and washed away
by waves probably. Additionally, a life
buoy was missing, meaning the force of water had been powerful and at least 10 feet above
sea level. Wow. But how did that endanger the men 150 feet above sea level? Robert had
no choice but to make his report to headquarters.
I am of the opinion that the most likely explanation of this disappearance of the men is that they
had all gone down on the afternoon of 15th December to the west landing to secure the
box with the mooring ropes, and that an unexpectedly large body of water swept them away with resistless
force.
But it didn't convince many. Trained lighthouse keepers would never put themselves in such
a blind and obvious danger. Not to mention, the bodies should have washed up eventually,
if that was the case.
And one little fact about the disappearance that must have disturbed Robert at least a
little is that this island is named after Flannan, the Irish saint. Every saint has
a feast day, right? Flannan's feast day is the 18th of December,
almost exactly the date that all the men went missing.
What does he eat, though?
Souls?
I don't know a lot about him.
He likes coats.
He likes oil-skinned coats,
beards, and...
I mean, he'll take a lighthouse keeper, sure.
As the years went by,
lighthouse keepers on Illinmore
claimed to hear strange voices calling out the names of the dead man on the wind.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
What happened to the feast thing?
I thought that was going to be a big part of it.
What's a feast day?
We kind of went through it.
We blasted through that real fast.
So what do you do on feast day?
I feel like we learned a lot about feast days back in school because it's, I don't know, it's like there's a lot of Irish saints. They all have feast days. I feel like we learned a lot about feast days back in school because it's I don't know it's like
there's a lot of Irish saints they all have feast days I feel like I know that we probably heard
about them let me find out it seems like a feast day is just a day of like religious celebration
so that could be anything so I think St. Patrick's Day is basically St. Patrick's feast day okay and
so in different parts of the world,
they might have like food or some sort of celebration,
but I guess traditionally it's just like
a different type of religious service that day.
Oh, okay.
Apparently there's more Catholic saints
than there are days in the year.
So some saints have to share.
It's like being a twin, you know,
you got to share the love a little bit.
St. Patrick gets breakfast and St. Martin Martin is for dinner.
Gets dessert.
Yeah.
So maybe it's like a little bit of both.
So it's like, you know, St. Patrick's Day is also St. Martin Martin's Day.
So it's like, you know, for breakfast, you need to eat a snake, but also you can have a muffin.
So it's like combines together
to make something getting mad indigestion from all these in the morning we're celebrating this
mexican saints a feast day in the afternoon we got the italian guy in the evening we got we got
a drink apparently because the irish guy saint craig saint chad needs us to do a keg stand at midnight we're gonna duct tape 40s to our hands
for saint chad saint chad's day oh my god we're celebrating that in the commune that's our one
holiday let's bow our heads bow your heads dude our bro who fart in heaven hallo chase thy dames
i thought you said kylie and her friends were coming. We
can't have a f***ing Chad's feast day without some babes. As the years went by, lighthouse
keepers on Illinmore claimed to hear strange voices calling out the names of the dead man
on the wind. At least up until 1971, when the last keeper left and the lighthouse became automated ensuring no one would ever go
missing again see this is the bit that you don't hear about guys that people don't complain about
all right automation is a dangerous thing we're gonna have robots taking our jobs yeah sure sure
but some of those jobs are being the grave keeper in a haunted graveyard they're gonna have a roomba that
does that one that one year all right some of those jobs are cleaning human poop poop scientist
poop a poop scientist yeah that'll be a row that'll be a roomba that sucks poop
well it's gonna be mostly room it's gonna be a lot to be employing a lot of room bus cast hosts Of course room bus both both I and kit will be replaced at one point by room
But it's probably kit first that I will co-host for a year or two with the room
But I've been a room but for the last year you guys didn't even notice kits in Barbados
This is what's gonna happen
You know some of the dangerous jobs like lighthouse keeper on a haunted island right is going to be done by a
room that's going to be top of the queue that's the one andrew yang is trying to take down first
of all exactly all you need to do basically is strap a hue light to a roomba and you can control
that thing from the shore because you know one philips hue light led is more powerful than a
1900s lighthouse they would go blind if they saw it.
And the survivors would probably try and burn us as witches.
People don't realize that there was light back in the day.
The sun was a tenth of the strength it is now.
But as for Thomas, Donald, and James,
as one author, Bob Curran, put it,
For many local people, there was little doubt
that they had been spirited
into the other world.
I don't need to tell the listeners at home
that the more than mysterious
and suspicious circumstances
of this disappearance
mean that people have theorized
paranormal explanations
for what happened
for over a hundred years.
And that's a good amount of time
to get some pretty decent theories in there.
You would think.
Oh no. And it turns out this island is pretty damn paranormal from the get. a good amount of time to get some pretty decent theories in there you would think oh no and it
turns out this island is pretty damn paranormal from the get in the folklore of these islands
there are lots of cryptids right off the bat you have five or six different types of water spirit
what you've got the kelpies which you might have discussed before which are kind of a shape shifting water spirit right you might you might be sensing that i'm kind of blasting through these
because there's quite a lot of paranormal shit in the island kelpies is also the name don't get
confused it's also the name of the the north korean sports hydration liquid right that is also in the
market being sold alongside uh chompy's we do have a lot of it we have a lot of that as well to go around so if you're looking for a a quick fix when things are down kelpies yeah chug a load
it's insane that they went with that isn't it chug a load yeah terrible branding i think it
was like a translation thing we were like by the time i sent the email being like you know re urgent
urgent do not publish it had already it bounced back the company dissolved
it liquidated which is ironic for a hydration company i think they were they were trying to
get like the for a minute they were going to be the official drink of the tokyo olympics
yeah for the for the athletes which would have been huge a big deal for us too um until tokyo
found out what was in the drink and
then they banned it immediately i think a lot of people got radiation poisoning right but there's
a new and improved recipe ladies and gentlemen that's right where you mix a little bit of
chompy's in with the water shake it up and it's actually delicious golden brown
it's a great protein replacement for let's face it everyone's out there stockpiling food and drink
throw in a little kelpies chug a load chug a load so that's right so we have this namesake
the kelpies they're a shape-shifting water spirit um but then you got blue man the group
it's pretty much the group you can't you can't say it's pretty much the group
because i'm gonna go
ahead and assume they're not on the islands playing drums no well of course not they're
they live in the sea uh but but they are pretty much the group well they're pretty talented
didn't they they disappeared three men potentially apparently also they can control the weather and
create storms it's Stop the group then.
The Blue Man Group are a performing act. Well, the Blue Man Group
have already done a lot of amazing things
and who's not to say that they couldn't control the weather.
Hey, some of the stuff they do looks paranormal as shit.
So I can at least side with you on that.
Not to mention Shoney,
who's kind of a sea god
who you have to offer beer to
so that you get a plentiful bounty of seaweed
in the coming year.
That's my kind of god.
Definitely.
She's single?
You can sense that.
She drinks beer?
God, that's, that, I'm taken.
She's got, she drinks beer and she's flushed with weed.
You definitely get the sense that's an older god.
Because even the new god, like the god that most people worship, he's pretty up on stuff.
He can kind of read your mind and he's kind of everywhere all at once.
He's pretty...
He's the Superman, of course.
He's pretty metropolitan that way.
Whereas Shoni is a beer and seaweed god.
So that's pretty cool.
Does God have a kryptonite?
I guess he wouldn't put that in the Bible.
That's true.
He would omit that verse.
Yeah, yeah, because Superman doesn't go around being like,
hey, hope nobody's got any kryptonite around here.
Yeah.
That's a bad move.
Or do you think it's just like a fun little kryptonite?
He's just like, I just can't have Krispy Kremes.
They're just too good.
They're too good.
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
Because if I have one, I've got to have another.
I've got to keep going. And I'm hooked do it. I can't do it. Because if I have one, I gotta have another.
I gotta keep going.
And I'm hooked on it.
I made the f***ing things.
Yeah, so I can have as many as I want
and it'll just be never ending.
I can literally click my fingers
and remove my own mouth.
I might turn earth
into a giant Krispy Kreme.
I might eat you all.
I might do it.
You're f***ing sprinkles in my eyes.
Don't you forget that, my children.
You guys are delicious.
Yeah, that's right.
I've had a couple of you.
I've tried them.
That's actually a...
The bad ones, I eat them.
It's actually a psalm that they skip over when they're in church they're like and the lord said you're
all f***ing sprinkles in my eyes and so it is up onto you take this bread it is my crispy
take this wine it is my coffee that's my duncan coffee that's my coffee. That's my Dunkin' coffee. That's my Dunkin' French vanilla latte.
Then you got your merpeople and regular water monsters. We don't need to dwell on them. We know what they are. Merpeople. For sure. Pretty classic. For sure people. And I'm not making
these up. You know, I just threw in water monsters, but there is some amount of evidence for this.
A German ship off the coast of the Hebrides in 1882 reported seeing a 40 meter long sea beast.
So we got at least one eyewitness report of one sea beast.
How big did you say?
You said the island was a pebble at one point.
And this sea beast is 40 miles long?
Meters?
You could see it from space.
I said these guys were astronauts.
40 meters.
Got it.
Okay.
Which is pretty big.
I could wrap around this thing. Could coil lighthouse and it really keeps going the possibilities are truly
endless there are tales of werewolves uh willow the wisp and even fairies so it's entirely possible
that any of these cryptids killed all three men leaving zero trace or took them to the other world or they just threw
them around like rag dolls let the merpeople have a go then the sea beast came ashore and decked
them around a bit it could have just been a paranormal party it is something kind of interesting
about this one because so often in our stories the paranormal phenomena comes out of the blue
but actually in this case no one lived on the island
yeah they built the lighthouse three guys went to the lighthouse then the three guys disappeared
right it was like the island didn't want them whether this was merpeople or a sea beast or
whatever this thing has a hundred percent kill rate yeah and the ratio to to normal human to paranormal beast is like a hundred to three
yeah they they stepped into the wrong neighborhood there's so many things at play that i wonder like
do you ever think the mer people are like oh my god i could have sworn the other day i saw
shoney the scottish sea queen and they're like no what are you crazy shawnee doesn't it doesn't exist
that's just ridiculous you know i wonder if cryptids believe in other cryptids that's
an interesting point because we we even say sometimes they're on another plane yeah there's
a lot of other planes maybe you know there's just a fairy plane that's where all the fairies hang
out yeah they can all see each other there's a lot of borders actually in the fairy realm they
don't like other cryptids hanging out.
But lastly, what if it's a different type of otherworld?
Not a metaphysical one, an ethereal otherworld, but a literal one.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, we're dealing with a UFO abduction here.
Oh, yeah.
The goddamn glove fits, Rory.
All three men gone at once without a trace.
Here we go, here we go, here we go.
The paranormal.
I'm getting fired up.
The paranormal.
Yeah.
Bending of the elements.
Yeah.
The clock stopped as if there's some kind of electrical interference.
Stop that asshole.
Listen, the cool thing about this mystery is that it is truly unsolved.
And for that reason, it's inspired many people.
There's a Doctor Who episode about this thing.
There's been two films in the last two years based on this uh we've got the banishing starring jared butler and most
recently the lighthouse with robert pattinson and william defoe that's what this is very loosely
yeah okay the william defoe robert pattinson the lighthouse that's a lot less based on it but it is
apparently wow whereas the jared butler went very hardcore
he went method he went to the island you're like there are grays within the first 10 minutes
absolutely thoughts wow all right hey i love this story this is a great one very spooky and a lot of
different explanations um definitely love the ufo one that was kind of thrown in there at the end just tokyo drift
screeched into the into the parking bay but it does make a lot of sense you know what is a
lighthouse but a beacon to space if you are an alien gray looking for a place to park your your
space car there is a light flashing in the the darkness of the universe basically calling you
over to park there it's so true so that's definitely a strong contender it definitely
seems like yeah ufos could just be dipping their toes in kind of human territories by going to
pretty much tiny islands yeah off the coast of somewhere like scotland you know it's easy to say
that there's a rational explanation i
mean of course in any given situation that's the problem with the paranormal there's always a
rational explanation the easy way out the easy way out um the coward's way out at the same time we
got some pretty hard holes in our story here these men would simply not leave the lighthouse
altogether put themselves in a situation that they would die.
They were 150 feet above sea level.
Yeah.
They were praying for their lives when apparently there was no storm to be seen.
How weird is that?
And definitely the logbook is something to take into consideration.
I mean, we breezed over the last line,
God is over all.
Yeah, that's really, I mean, fair enough.
I think that is his location.
But kind of an ominous thing to think it's okay to write in a logbook at your work.
It also doesn't make a damn bit of sense because if they wrote that the storm has ended,
sea is calm, God is over all, how are they getting washed away by a wave after that?
Yeah, because they had implied that it ended
they were they were fearing for their lives crying all that then it's over then they disappear
if i like in my uh old job used to have to uh keep a log of the equipment that you had rented
out from the studio sure so if you were taking cameras out on work or radio mics, you'd have to log them in the system. If I just one day wrote one Canon 500, two radio mics,
the sinners of the world will burn eternally.
Yeah.
People are going to have some questions.
They're going to WhatsApp you for sure.
I better not show up.
I better disappear.
Because that's a weird thing to write in a work calendar.
You just get an email.
Don't come back.
Keep the Canon.
You sound like a threat
that's a very strange thing to write it would lead me to believe that um whatever was going
on whatever the situation was it was pretty dire it was pretty extreme yeah and to fight all
explanation like we have character references for these men and apparently one of them is like
an awesome fighter and he's the one cowering in the corner crying all right well that rules out mermaids because i you could fight a mermaid you know if you get them on land they're done
yeah they're absolutely done yeah no you don't want to get them in the sea yeah they're very
much at home in the sea absolutely i've been beaten up by mermaids before but that was at
sea world all right so it was very much that was a trainer that was a trainer that you fought you
wanted to get in the pool with the dolphins he should have they made it look easy and they made the dolphins look
like smart asses i'm obviously they're pretty smart they kept bragging they were like look at
this dolphin yeah they jump through a hoop and i looked at my brother and i said i could jump
through that hoop a thousand times better than that dolphin hold my blood light i'm going in
and he tried to stop me he had the audacity to try and
stop me well you were trying to bottle a dolphin which is it was a bottle nose dolphin as well
i was trying to bottle his nose the irony was not lost in the dolphin they're pretty smart i said
let me bottle the nose of this bottle nose and i took a swing at him knocking the instructor into
the water including myself as well. And the dolphins, yeah,
not only can they jump through hoops,
they can actually swing a flipper pretty hard.
Yeah, he socked you.
Yeah, I got flipper-nosed real, real hard, all right?
Yeah, you didn't wake up for a couple days after that one.
And now I come to to find out
I'm no longer welcome at the Atlanta Aquarium.
Of course not.
That's not how I wanted to wake up, is it? My point being if it's you haven't met a mer person i haven't met a mer
person but if they fight anything like a dolphin in the water you don't want to mess with them no
in the water but like you say land it's like the ufc they got no grind game exactly take them down
it's over i say right, you slippery bastards.
Come and fight me on Mother Earth.
They all jump out of the tank and absolutely beat the shit out of me. They slap the shit out of me.
They're the other type of merpeople.
They got legs they can kick the shit out of you with.
I'm like, back in the water.
Back in the water.
We jump back into the water.
I drown.
They don't even have to fight me.
You can't swim.
My arms are broken from the first two rounds.
But what I'm saying is the character references are there.
These people should not be praying and fearing for their lives,
doing the job they've been trained to do and done for 20 years.
Yeah.
There's enough of beating around the bush here, Roy.
What are we saying today?
Is this story truly paranormal or not?
I think for me to come down
and say that it's truly paranormal we need a shred more evidence leading down one path right i think
the the the most clear thing that we had to kind of steer us towards the paranormal was the fact
that the men would presumably be smart enough not to leave the lighthouse if there was a storm yeah but that's kind of it i
mean if there was any reason and they had left then they were blown away they were swept away
by the the water that's obviously what happened if they were drunk enough they might have done it
yeah and i don't know how much booze is flying around this little island i think a good of mine
but i know shoni likes to get on the sauce. Yeah. They got a plug.
Exactly.
So that definitely could be a factor.
I think if we look at the facts, all right, how many coats were there?
One coat?
Sorry, one coat missing, which means that only one coat left the building.
So they're pretty blitz.
They didn't even bring their jackets.
They got that beer coat.
Yeah.
They had a feast, but one of the tables was overturned
as if something happened in a hurry yeah it's a lot of suspicious this is what i love about this
it's like a little cluedo puzzle yeah yeah you kind of have to piece everything together yeah
this feels like a poirot episode very much unfortunately i'm no poirot yeah and very rarely
is the conclusion to poirot that it was paranormal
disappointingly infrequently proro is never like i need you all to join me in the dining room where
i will unravel this mystery and he's like brought them all there and it's like shawnee this is the
sea queen mer people sea beast fairy men i've brought you all here to unravel the mystery The Sea Queen, Mer People, Sea Beast, Fairy Men.
I've brought you all here to unravel the mystery.
It's very much The Butler,
a rich woman,
an old man.
I think they tried it once.
That was the end of the book series,
the TV series.
I've called you all here.
Michel Julliet,
Bigfoot,
Mrs. Scarlet. I followed the giant footprints up the stairs.
Alright, just say it was me. Everyone knows
it was me. A giant
beast Sasquatch
sitting in a tiny French sofa.
Mrs. Scarlet, we're all Sasquatch.
You have to take me
first. Don't you get it? I love
him. No, Scarlet,
they can't take us both down.
He just rips Poirot's head off.
I feel like I sense where you're going with this one, Rory.
Whilst we have a delicious Poirot, Agatha Christie-esque tale woven in front of us,
none of the loose threads can definitively be connected to the paranormal.
Yeah.
And for that reason, I think personally it's going to have to be a no today it's a no this week unfortunately folks fuck it all that was like
99 i was there yeah i think we just needed that little push sometimes that's all you need god
damn it but i know the listeners have got to have their own thoughts on this one send them
into this paranormal life podcast at gmail.com thanks so much thanks so much to mikey g for sending it
in guys if you enjoyed this investigation and you just can't get enough of this paranormal life let
it be known there are bonus episodes available bonus content available over on patreon.com
forward slash this paranormal life you know the deal i'm sure you've heard of Patreon. This is where creators get to create content direct to their audience.
And then the audience can choose
however much they want to pay every month
and get stuff back.
So we offer bonus episodes.
We currently do commune t-shirts
if you're feeling fancy.
And there's a big backlog of bonus episodes
which will keep you entertained. You're not quite selling it it here you're not quite sexing it up enough okay right
this is a pretty dry run you know you got to sell it to these people they've heard this every podcast
they listen to has the same message oh please give me money on patreon i didn't say anything like
that i also don't sound like that i didn't say i need pennies pennies i didn't you gotta you gotta
big it up like this all right i would
never beg right all right calm down all i'm saying is you gotta sex it up a bit all right guys
if you want some bonus content bonus audio all right the shit the public doesn't get to hear
this is a reverse lighthouse people this draws in truth ships and slams them against the rocks
killing everyone on board i don't know
if it's very clear if you want to risk your life and the lives of your friends no don't definitely
download these bonus episodes plug them into a boom box and throw it out the window where it
will be intercepted psycho dived through dimension through dimension and the truth will echo throughout the
universe it's a little overdramatic it's it's five dollars a month yeah is that clear enough
well you left that to the very end but yeah i guess it is and they're pretty good
there we go so that's how you sex it up you say they're pretty good the sexing up was the
lighthouse shit it was the lighthouse shit i did but uh but uh you know they're also pretty good and they're five bucks a month what is that that's
a steal that's nothing that's a cup of coffee damn steal also by signing up to the patreon you will
get an invite to this paranormal life discord uh this is somewhere we often forget to talk about
but it does exist alongside our facebook community the subreddit there is also this
paranormal discord if that's where you like to hang out.
And that subreddit is like a lighthouse, all right?
But instead of steering away ships, it crashes them into the rocks.
Okay, that's quite enough.
You're drawn in.
You'll be bombarded with so many messages, so much paranormal nonsense.
You're not going to be bombarded as bad.
You're going to have to break your phones
over your knees just to stay sane.
It's very chill.
It's like we do a bonus episode every single month.
It's also pretty good and fun.
Okay.
So there you go.
So there's a little bit of what you want.
We should say we're recording this Wednesday,
18th of March.
In separate rooms.
Yeah, we did mention that at the top.
Yeah, you know, as of today,
we're doing a little distancing, sure.
But otherwise, things are chill.
We just wanted to let you know because, yeah,
things are changing pretty rapidly by the day.
So we just wanted to say stay safe, everyone out there.
Be safe.
Stay at home.
Look after yourself.
We are going to keep things as regular as possible.
Bring you episodes every single week.
Who knows what's going to happen.
If there is a time that we're separated, we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
But for now, we're making episodes every week.
And at the end of every episode, we like to take the time to shout out those who supported us on Patreon.
Let's go.
Thank you so much to German Molina.
Well, if it isn't German Molina, the burn in German.
German is a champion.
A flaming cook?
Fireman? What are you... Flaming?
What do you call it whenever you bend over backwards underneath a pole?
Oh, uh, oh, shit, what's going on with me now?
Limbo?
Limbo.
Limbo.
Flaming Limbo Champ, yeah, it's pretty stunning.
Wow.
This thing is a fireball hovering probably seven inches off the ground.
That's insane.
The ground's hot coals, by the way.
So it's still on fire.
Everything's on fire. You know,
you don't get a name like the burning German that easily.
Wow, that takes some hot rocks.
Thanks also to Justin Kipper.
Justin Kipper,
the work skipper.
He skips work every, the day
he got hired, he didn't even go to the interview.
What? He skipped it.
This guy skipped school, skipped church, skipped jury duty.
What does he do?
Why is he trying to get all that free time?
He robs banks.
Oh, he doesn't skip that.
No, no, he's very much present for the bank robberies.
Of course.
And of course, you don't exactly want to be on jury duty
when you got a bank robbery at 10 a.m. So sure, he skips it.
You can't exactly come into work for the daily grind.
You can't be on the dock for the crime you committed if you're in the jury.
Thanks also to Anton Vervoet.
Anton lives on a mountain, except when I say it's a mountain, it's really more of a pebble.
It's really more of a sea pebble. So the island
is a lighthouse. Oh, yeah.
Actually, it says right here, address
more lighthouse. That's kind of interesting.
Hey, I'm glad you're getting the pod.
Oh, he's a Roomba.
They automated it.
They automated him. Alright, well, stay strong, brother.
God above all else, I believe
is the golden rule
on that island uh thanks also to
rocket lawn chair uh if this is a business pitch we're in i'm in absolutely i speak for kit when i
say it's a double yes never has there been a day gone by where i don't wish i could relax all the
way to the moon this is shark tank now we're willing to put up a lot of cash. Absolutely.
This month's Patreon money goes
to rocket lawn chairs.
Thank you to
Harriet Knight. Harriet worked
out a sneaky little life hack
that if you just call yourself Knight,
they make you one. Wow,
that is sneaky. Pretty straightforward
actually. Yeah, so if you
feel like you might suit a sword and a horse,
just switch out the last name.
That's why I called my son Rory Master Chief,
in the hopes that he too would embody the great warrior.
The fictitious John 117 of the Halo series?
Yeah, it turns out Rory Jr. is just pretty good at Xbox,
and he hates his old man.
He got that from his dad.
Thank you too, Mike Hall.
Mike Hall, why won't you answer Mike Hall?
Listen, I've got a very, very lucrative,
very, very limited investment offer
on a little, little startup called RLC for short.
We need some seed investors.
We need some angel investors.
Any investors we can get.
We need some NASA investors ASAP.
And ASAP doesn't mean for as soon as possible.
It means for the Astral Space Program Association,
which is an off-brand version of NASA, all right,
that specialize in selling rockets on the dark web.
Might pick up the damn phone.
Yeah, pick up my call.
Thanks also to Fidel.
Fidel, you gotta let me tell all you all about.
A very lucrative business opportunity, all right?
Wait, wait, wait, we can't say it enough.
Do you have in your possession any of the following?
I can't tell you the name of the business no no but just you have any of the following
rocket fuel a lawn chair a thirst for adventure starting life insurance people mostly have the
last three and not a lot of people are gonna have the first one a lot of people have yeah
life insurance a thirst for adventure and a lawn chair but really if you have the rocket fuel please get in in touch we've got
a lot of investors with the back half of that sentence yeah we really need the one guy thank
you so much to matthew holder matthew how would you like to be a stockholder in one of the most
profitable businesses in 2020 this stock is going up up up quite literally towards the moon my friend do not
miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime you're gonna want to get in thanks to jacob twist
jacob twist the professional and all-time all-star judo wrestler whatever situation
whatever hold you had it in whatever hold you him in, he could twist out in a second.
Whoa.
You think you got him on the ropes?
Twist.
It's like a Stretch Armstrong type of thing.
Now he's back.
He's got you on the ropes.
He's dizzy as shit.
Sure.
He just twisted sunways for about 30 minutes and managed to escape.
All right.
This is all in water, though.
This is a merperson right here. A in water though uh this is a mer person
right here a merson so this would not work online of course yeah don't don't try it online you will
explode thank you to alexandra lane owner of the very profitable bowling alley alexander's lanes
whoa this is the biggest bowling alley the only one that has a hundred pin bowling scene uh possibly you might
have in the popular video game wii sports resort quite right very impractical of course to implement
in real life it takes about 30 minutes for them to clear all the pins off of the lane sometimes
the pins just explode and go into other people's lanes did we mention the lane is a mile long yeah
your ball just disappears into the horizon.
You don't even get a score back for about half an hour.
It's a very difficult, frustrating process.
But somehow, people keep paying him for it.
Thank you to Mano Debar.
I'm just going to speak to you mano a mano.
I want to go to Debar, alright?
Just you and me.
Go out for a little drink, some tequila shots, see what happens.
What do you mean, see what happens?
See where the night takes us.
It doesn't sound like you just want to go to the bar.
You're saying like, let's get started at the bar and then see what happens.
Maybe work our way up to a tiki bar.
Okay.
You know?
So you want to do a bar crawl.
That's quite more extreme.
Yeah, then see what happens.
As in, see how far we can make it up the road.
If you're interested, just get in touch.
Thanks also to Joseph O'Kelly.
We've heard of Shoney, Queen of the Sea,
but this is Joseph O'Kelly, the King of the Jelly.
What? Like the edible food stuff?
Yes.
There's not a lot like, you you know choney has free roam over
all the oceans there's a lot of ocean too joseph kind of just hangs out in jelly like his little
sounds bad little eyes are just like in the jelly which is mostly kids birthday parties by the way
it's kind of a weird place it's very often consumed by children as well he can't even see
straight because he's jiggling around everywhere.
Everything's red or yellow or whatever the f*** color it is.
It's not good.
He's not a god.
I shouldn't have led with that.
He's more of a sprite.
Like a little demon-y sprite.
Thanks also to Rachel McDougal.
Rachel McFrugal, we're going to need you to change your ways.
I know you've been living light your whole life,
trying to save for that next big thing.
I'm telling you, the big thing is here.
This is it.
This is it.
And it's called strapping a rocket to a goddamn chair.
It's not retirement.
It's not university.
So time to stop being so frugal and getting a little bit spendy, all right?
You don't want to be the one person left on Earth when we're all relaxing on the lawns of the moon.
Beautiful green lawns of the moon.
Thank you to Jaden Cox.
Jaden Cox likes baiting cops.
He'll call 911-999 and be like, you gotta help me.
There's an emergency.
I'm good.
There's so much blood.
I'm freaking dying here.
Get your little piggy asses to the...
That's a red flag.
To the...
They should have known at that point.
Get your lazy cop asses that I pay your taxes for.
And they're like, all right, we're going to hang up.
No, no, no, please don't hang up.
Please don't hang up.
The blood's pouring out.
I'm really freaking hurt. And of course they show up and he's, we're going to hang up. No, no, no, please don't hang up. Please don't hang up. The blood's pouring out. I'm really freaking hurt.
And of course they show up and he's not there.
He's not there.
No, nowhere to be seen.
The first time he tried it, he was there.
And they arrested him like on the spot.
He should have seen that coming.
But he loves baiting cops, man.
Thank you also to Jeffrey Hartman.
Jeffrey Hartman, the hard man.
You know how like, you know like the thing from the fantastic four
of course he's pretty strong he's made out of rocks he is hardman is even harder than the thing
he's like made of iron he's like iron man but inside underneath that iron flesh i feel like
iron man just curbed your whole idea here underneath that iron man exterior is a thing core he's got rocks underneath that
iron oh yeah so it's just if the thing was in a tony stark suit yeah basically okay that's pretty
tough yeah you kind of took the wind out of my sails there a little bit when you described it
like that but it's fine thank you thank you lastly but not leastly to daniel daniel
is like freaking iron man all right he's got that tough iron exterior but his interior is like a
freaking jelly baby what he's like a a flabby little swamp beast it's basically that the armor
keeps them all intact but you could pop him like a water balloon.
You know, he's like the opposite of Hardman.
That's awful. I'm so sorry to hear that.
Don't feel awful for him. He's got an Iron Man suit.
He just never needs to get out of the thing.
Not only that, he does not need the rocket lawn chair. That's right, because he has the jetpacks in his feet.
Exactly. Do you have jetpacks in your feet?
Of course you don't, which is why you need to pick up your own rocket lawn chair ASAP.
Thank you to everyone we've just shouted out today and everyone we're going to shout out in future episodes.
Thank you so much for tuning in. We will catch you next week for a brand new paranormal tale.
Stay safe and wash your hands.