This Paranormal Life - #163 Project Chronos
Episode Date: May 5, 2020When a time travelling assassin named Leroy showed up at the front door of the FBI headquarters, they had a lot of questions. Who does he work for? How is time travel possible? What is Project Chronos...? TIME for Rory and Kit to find some answers.Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityResearch by Amy GrisdaleEdited by Louis BlatherwickIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Discussion (0)
Could a demon read the Bible? And if not, how would it ever get better?
Can I time travel to a time where time travel doesn't exist?
All of these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life!
Hey, hello everyone! Welcome to This Paranormal Life, the comedy paranormal podcast hosted by myself, Rory Powers, and this guy over here.
Ohayou gozaimasu. paranormal podcast hosted by myself, Rory Powers, and this guy over here. If you haven't listened to the show before, we are two professional paranormal investigators
where every week we investigate a brand new paranormal tale, beast, story, and come to a
conclusion within the hour, give or take of course, to decide whether or not it is truly paranormal.
How are you doing today, kid?
I'm doing fantastic, Rory.
I'm ready for it.
I mean, there were some pretty spicy questions on the intro.
Do you think demons are trying to better themselves?
They're doing a little self-help?
I mean, they shouldn't start with the Bible because they might Pac-Man in on themselves.
You think so?
I think so.
Yeah, it's like, I don't know, being an alcoholic.
And if you try and drink some water, it burns you.
Now that I think about it, I've never seen you read the Bible.
Moving on.
Demon little.
All right, look, as much as I would love to dilly dally,
I could talk about demons all goddamn day.
But unfortunately, Kit, today, time is of the essence.
You did mention time travel in the beginning is that something to
do with it possibly maybe you're about to find out our story begins in 2016 a 71 year old man
named leroy timothy anderson went to fbi headquarters in virginia he walked through
the front doors and approached the front desk reception asked if they could help him with
anything assuming it was a guest or someone who had business in the building.
Leroy said,
I'm here to turn myself in.
My name is Leroy Anderson,
and I've killed 33 people.
By the way, that is also the day that the FBI locked their doors.
You need a key card these days.
Yeah, yeah.
Things have changed a lot since 2016.
Why the
FBI headquarters? Why not the local police?
You're gonna find out, Kit.
You're gonna find out. Maybe this case is a little
spicy. Too spicy for the
police. Above the jurisdiction
perhaps. Now, Leroy
Anderson was a 71-year-old man
who had appeared out of nowhere.
He's basically made of glass.
Could he really be telling the truth?
Was he a murderer?
The FBI weren't taking any chances and arrested him on the spot.
Now Leroy is locked in a room while the agents investigate.
Sir, the report just came back.
He's got no criminal record.
If he really has killed 33 people, he's done a damn good job of covering his tracks.
So the agents enter the room and sit down with Leroy, ready for a little interrogation.
Maybe a little good cop, bad cop.
You know, they're doing that thing where you spin the chair around and you sit the other way, you know?
Oh yeah, like a cool teacher, of course.
Yeah, that cop is like, he's turned his hat around,
which is super painful and awkward,
because those things are not meant to be turned around.
No, it's not.
That's against the law.
It's not like Ash Ketchum.
Absolutely not.
But to their surprise, they didn't have to interrogate him.
Leroy was more than happy to talk.
Leroy told them that he needed to come here for his own protection,
because the agency he worked for was trying to terminate him.
Terminate him?
Terminate him.
That's very corporate talk, isn't it?
For murder.
The agency?
What is this kind of John Wick-style establishment
that deals in gold coins and bounty hunters?
That's what it sounds like.
If you have to come to the FBI for protection,
you know you're dealing with some dangerous people.
The men asked him,
Leroy, this is serious.
Did you kill 33 people?
Leroy replied,
Technically, I've killed 45.
But 12 of them haven't been born yet.
All right, you lost a good cop at this point
you lost a bad cop your cap's going back around the right way yeah all right what what are you
talking about the agents are confused what do you mean haven't been born yet leroy went on to tell
them that he worked with the defense advanced research, DARPA, who supervised the United States Special Operations.
But more importantly, he also worked for the CIA on a project called Kronos.
And that's why he turned himself in.
Leroy knew too much and the CIA were trying to terminate him.
Okay.
This is very confusing already.
Very interesting, but very confusing now
rory i'm not american like you might have to break this down for the listeners at home but
in britain yeah the queen runs everything she she controls uh what time what what time you go to bed
at night she the weather controls the weather what time you eat breakfast in the morning whereas
america there's more of a division
of power so you got the police and then above that you got the fbi and then not really above
that but side by side you got the cia and then somewhere besides that you got the federal
government i guess yeah and so these all kind of this is like the system of checks and balances
they all kind of uh interact with each other it's a very confusing uh kind of organization method i think this is why you have those
overlapping crime scenes where the police are there and then cia step up and be like we'll
take it from here cia we're running the show now i don't think so says a voice from the shadows
fbi and this is now ours another voice from the shadows is it, and this is now ours. Another voice from the shadows. Is it DARPA?
Special Agent Carter. I run the show now. Little Dick Carter, it's me, the Hamburglar.
They all get down on their hands and knees. Oh my God. Ronald McDonald's task force.
It's very confusing. Who runs what? I did actually look up the difference between the CIA and the FBI for clarity on this case.
Only one of them has the authority to arrest people.
That might be a lie.
I might have made that up.
Well, the FBI, they're the guys in the movies and TV shows.
They're always arresting people.
They're sending them to SWAT teams and stuff.
I don't think the CIA do anything like that.
I think the CIA are just an intelligence agency, right?
Yes, and actually, there you go.
The CIA mostly operates actually outside of the United States
to gather intelligence.
Gang in other people's democracy.
Whereas the FBI predominantly operates within the US
to gather intelligence.
One's looking in, one's looking out.
They're back-to-back, guns raised.
All right?
That's how it works.
Very interesting.
So this guy is some kind of CIA cell that's gone rogue,
and now he has to appeal to the FBI for almost protection.
Yeah.
So the agents asked him a little bit more about Project Kronos
and what his role was.
And he said,
Project Kronos is a program created to eliminate anyone the CIA deems dangerous.
And well, I was the hitman.
The agents ask,
All right, Mr. Anderson, let's start at the beginning.
Tell us about the first person you killed.
Of time. Oh, the first person I killed. Oh, let's start at the beginning. Tell us about the first person you killed. Of time.
Oh, the first person I killed.
Oh, sure, that was last week.
Maybe we have a file on the case.
Mr. Anderson laughed.
You don't get it, do you?
The first person I killed was in 1678.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
That would mean Mr. Anderson's first murder was over 300 years ago.
Who the f*** was he killing?
Leonardo da Vinci?
Like, people talk about going back in time to kill Hitler.
Who could you possibly be killing in 1638?
He's like, did you ever hear about the dinosaurs?
You killed the dinosaurs?
Mr. Meteorite, they that called me who caused the ice
caps to melt so you're just god you're claiming to be god the agents sat back as leroy told them
everything that project chronos was a program where the cia sent hitmen back in time to
assassinate their enemies changing the course of history
What possible enemy does the CIA have which was only established in I'm gonna guess like the 20s or something
What possible enemy do they have in the 1600s first off kit time doesn't matter when you have a time machine
They could have been invented in the future and gone back to the past. You know, that's a point
That's a point right there. I haven't been thinking about we're gonna need a lot of big brain. Yeah right here
Okay, that's difficult to me because I got a little brain little little brain energy
Leeroy told him that he had killed up to 45 people from 1678 to
2239 he's gone forward that's right some of the people he has killed haven't
even been born yet is that possible of course it's possible of course this this whole episode guys
is going to be opening up a can of worms but the worms are wormholes and we're going to be jumping through
dimensions thinking about the future remembering the future it's going to question a lot of rules
that you've been taught shouldn't be questioned and listen this episode's going to be a lot like
inception it's going to be incredibly complicated it's going to be a lot of people's favorite
podcast yeah but it's not going to make a lot of sense no but it is going to win awards yeah at one point we're actually going to
ask you to take a nap with your airpods in and we're going to do a section of the podcast while
you're asleep to have it beamed into your brain that's right all right moving on with the story
he said that in total project chronosronos was behind over 1,200 assassinations throughout history.
Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, and that he himself was the person who assassinated Abraham Lincoln.
What?
That's right.
That doesn't sound like he's exclusively investigating stuff in other countries.
He killed Abraham Lincoln.
He's one of the goddamn founding presidents of the United States
and the enemy of the CIA.
Look, because we're living in the timeline where he got assassinated,
we don't know how bad shit got if he wasn't assassinated.
You know?
Right.
He was about to go like Robo-Mech Abe.
Maybe.
Or maybe the assassination, you know, cemented him as a legend in history, made him like a martyr, you know?
Maybe in another timeline he went on to actually become pretty racist.
Okay.
And Honest Abe was honestly a bit of an asshole and had to
be put down by the CIA the organization that wouldn't exist for several hundreds
of years later I'm starting to question the whole intelligence bit of the
Central Intelligence Agency Leroy begged them to believe him he said that he fled
the program and now they were hunting him. The FBI director said,
His story was one of the most fascinating that I've ever heard.
Mr. Anderson not only claims to have killed President Lincoln,
but also 32 others, including at least 12 that aren't even born yet.
I know that conspiracy theorists will accuse us of covering up Lincoln's murder,
but the FBI isn't going to open up an investigation.
I don't think this man killed
anyone i think he just lost contact with reality well he would say that though wouldn't he because
he's got a cia silenced pistol to the back of his head he knows the second he decides to open up an
inquiry a wormhole is going to open up behind him with a nine millimeter coming out of the end of it and putting him down do you know why because the cia in the future time traveled to the past
to stop the investigation the cia might even travel back in time and take him out in a year
that's already happened and the fbi director inside of a a packed out press junket just starts Thanos snapping out of existence, just like pixelating into dust.
You know, even myself and Kit hosting this podcast is a risk. We are in the studio right now expecting at any moment for a time portal to open up and to be assassinated mid-recording. That's why we both have crossbows
fully loaded at any time to make sure that we are protected. Just imagining a wormhole opens up and
it's a feudal era ninja who somehow works for the CIA. He's like, nothing personal, Rory.
Shurikens you to the wall. He shows up. We try and hit him with the crossbow we miss it goes through the
time portal into the future kills the president we killed lincoln oh my god they are too good at
this too good well look i'd never heard of project chronos before in my many many many years of
paranormal investigation no nor, nor I think
this would have come up,
but I ain't heard of it either.
Exactly.
So I did a little Googling,
searched around a little bit,
and unfortunately,
Project Kronos
is just also a cool name.
So I found video games,
movies, novels,
all called Project Kronos.
Death Metal Band or something.
I think there's actually
like a video game source engine
called Project Kronos. Wow. again you you call something a name that cool
it's gonna be used for a lot of stuff yeah you gotta call it something like you gotta call it
like butterfly baby project butterfly baby yeah and then it's you there's gonna be two things
gonna be a kid's clothes shop and there's gonna be the fbi project exactly because i mean for a
start butterfly babies don't exist those are caterpillars there's not gonna be the fbi project exactly because i mean for a start butterfly babies don't
exist those are caterpillars you're not gonna be a lot of hits for that by the time a butterfly
is a is a butterfly it's a man it's not a man do you understand what i'm saying here you know
what i mean because if when it's a baby it's a caterpillar sure and when it's done being a baby, it's a jacked dude. It's a six foot man.
This got to the point where I was about to give up.
Yeah.
I was finding too much, too much shit on the internet.
But then I saw it, kid.
An article backed away in the shadows.
Information about Project Kronos.
I'm sorry, in the shadows of Google?
Yeah, the dark web, my friend.
Project Kronos.
I'm sorry, in the shadows of Google?
Yeah, the dark web, my friend.
And to my surprise, the information was about a project from the 1940s in Nazi Germany. Of course.
That's right, guys.
We're going back in time.
In 1997, a military journalist named Igor Witowski met with a Polish intelligence agent for research on a book that he was writing.
My friend, I hear you used to work for the Polish intelligence agency.
I'm writing a book about the Second World War, and I'm hoping you know something that I do not yet.
My brother, I know things that are better left unknown. The information you want is in this file.
But be careful.
You can't unlearn things.
If I could, I would have forgotten these images long ago.
But you put them in a fold.
You printed them out, so...
Right, I had to...
Yes, sure, I had to make many copies.
So even if I tried to forget them, I couldn't because I've seen them.
I look at them every day.
Okay.
It seems strange that if you want to unlearn something, to have it saved, to have so many copies.
Right.
Well, when you see this, bro, you're going to understand.
It's like a car crash.
You can't take your eyes off the thing, you know?
But you said you have several copies.
If you wanted to be unburdened with such a heavy weight,
why not just give me the only copies?
I might have printed a few of the images for decoration in my home.
You said there are some things that are better left unknown.
They're pretty, they're beautiful.
My wife likes them a lot.
If you want to unlearn the images, do not use them as wallpaper, my friend.
I have a photo in my wallet.
Would you like to see?
What?
I have the images there also. I took out the I have a photo in my wallet. Would you like to see? What? I have the images there also.
I took out the picture of the kids in my wallet
and I put in a copy of the images
that are in this file that I'm trying to forget.
But would you like to see them in my wallet?
No, I would not like to see the pictures in your wallet.
You've already given me the pictures in the file.
You know, these are dangerous files.
Any man caught transferring these to outside sources
could get in a lot of trouble.
Yeah. You said there are things better left unknown i didn't know i would get in trouble i can see the files breaking out of the folder it says classified penalty of
death my friend i thought that said classy find like this is like a cool find you know what give
me back the file you know what this is your wallet now wallet now. I'm out of here. You didn't meet me. You don't know me. Igor had no idea what the Polish intelligent
agent was about to show him. The agent had dozens of classified government documents detailing Nazi
research projects that had never been shown to the public. Experimental rockets, anti-gravity plane prototypes, but most importantly, Kit,
a project referred to as
Die Grock,
the Nazi Bell.
Whoa.
I don't want to fire off here
talking about Nazis,
the paranormal,
UFOs,
satanic rituals,
because those evil sons of bitches,
they did it all.
Rory gets pretty animated.
I get pretty fired up when we're talking about, oh, did the Nazis because those evil sons of bitches they did it all rory gets pretty animated i get a pretty
fired up when we're talking about oh did the did the nazis do some evil paranormal shit i don't
know does michael phelps like swimming we don't know he's good at it we don't know if he likes
yeah he might hate it he might hate it spends a lot of time a lot of time doing it yeah that's
true let me think of a different one does you can't think of any others no that was the first
one that came to my head does michael phelps like wearing goggles well we he does it sure because he
has to but we don't know if he does well i'm sure well he doesn't like the alternative water in his
eyes does he so i'm sure he's pretty glad he has the goggles at the very least it's sort of strong
comparison right that was muddy that was muddy and i need one clear as water please do anything but michael phelps at this point does michael don't say
phelps jordan okay love swimming how do we how would we know i should have said basketball
because that's the one that he does i'd say he's even said on interview that he loves basketball
you that's what he's known for my point point being, they do a lot of stuff.
We don't have the time or the patience or the time machine to investigate.
Listen, we're not getting into it, folks,
but if you didn't know that the Nazis started NASA,
you're going to want to look into that, okay?
You think the American people just whipped all that rocket technology
out of their asses absolutely not folks it's called nasa as in nazis always sticking around i don't think it
means that but close enough very close you see kit after world war ii a bunch of nazis were put
on trial at war crime tribunals for doing all the horrible stuff that they did and one of them was a man named
jacob sporenberg who was one of the highest commissioned nazi ss ranks he said yeah i have
done some horrible things in my life so in my death may i find redemption there is a project
that you must know about scientists and engineers were murdered to prevent them from disclosing any details of the technology to the outside world.
It goes by many names, but most commonly, die glock.
The war may seem over, but with this weapon, nothing is truly over.
The room couldn't believe what they were hearing sporenberg told them
everything he said the bell was a piece of highly advanced technology that produced a hissing or
buzzing sound when operational because of this his fellow germans also referred to it as
der bienenstock or beehive in German. But what did it do?
Well, Kit, the bell was said to be a hazardous anti-gravity experiment.
It ran on a red substance referred to only as Serum 525,
which some people believe to have been red mercury.
When this machine was activated,
it was said to create a strange zone of effect around 500 feet around
the craft. In this zone, unexplainable things would occur. Crystals would form on animal tissues,
plants would decompose into jelly. It caused illnesses and death of many research subjects
and researchers alike. So why am I talking about Dijklo die clock what does this have to do with our
original story with leroy anderson the time traveling hitman well along with being rumored
to have anti-gravity capabilities the device was also known to distort the flow of time my friend
you think it just forms crystals on on animals and doesn't distort the flow of time
you're out of your mind exactly it turns an animal into a crystal and sends them back to the stone
age how do you think we got diamonds it's that's very interesting because like he says they lose
the war right they seems like the war's over yeah but do they, at that point, how can he say it ain't over?
That's because he's going back in time.
They're going to go back in time
and fight the war over as many times as they need to.
Yeah.
To goddamn win.
Nothing ends when you have something
that can redo everything.
It's like the Prince of Persia Sands of Time.
Exactly.
You ain't worried until,
well, actually, if you use the Sands of Time and then fall off the edge of the prince of persia sands of time exactly you ain't worried until well actually if you if you
use the sands of time then fall off the edge of the map yeah that is game over to be fair really
is it you can't like i don't know wait i've never played the games you like shake the time you have
a certain amount of sands and and then like if you if you want to rewind time you use the sand
but then if you if you do run out of sand and you die sure it
is game over of course that's kind of like you know the bell you can do anything with the bell
if you run out of red mercury serum 525 you're pretty much boned you're boned yeah i do think
this is interesting that they had a project very similar to something that was described many, many years later. The experiments in time manipulation
went under two code names. The first was Latern Entrager, which translates to Lantern Bearer or
Illuminator. But in Latin, the bell was also known as Kronos. What? That's right, my friend. One of the many nicknames for the Nazi time machine was Cronos.
You couldn't write this shit, mother******.
The same game as the time-traveling project that sent the man back in time to assassinate President Lincoln.
Listen, you think this is a game?
You think it's a game, listeners at home?
This isn't a game.
I'm gonna crank my crossbow right now
because that time
traveling son of a bitch
is gonna pop up
at any second
and you best believe
the safety's off this puppy
because as soon as
the pull
Oh!
Oh Jesus!
I'm so sorry!
Oh my god
are you alright?
No I'm not alright
you shot a god damn
crossbow into my kneecap!
I didn't even know
I didn't
I just tapped the thing You said the safety wasbow into my kneecap. I didn't even know. I didn't. I just tapped the thing.
You said the safety was off.
I said.
And you started swinging it.
I didn't pull it.
I tapped the trigger to illustrate that I was triggered.
You tapped the.
But not from the front.
Not from the front.
It was from the side.
Do you at least know some first aid or something?
Oh, God.
I'm getting woozy.
All right.
Look, this is going to sound wild.
I'm listening.
I'm listening. I'm listening.
Just hear me out.
What if I were to shoot another, a second arrow into that arrow and kind of like push it out.
Don't do it.
I'm just going to.
Don't do it, please, for the love of God.
It's going to be all right.
Don't do it.
It's going to be all right.
I'm going to knock it out Robin Hood style.
Straight into my throat.
Alright, hear me out.
A third arrow.
Why aren't you calling the ambulance?
They don't even have a crossbow.
Why am I gonna call them?
They're not gonna help the situation.
I don't need a crossbow.
A doctor comes back in time.
Yeah, he would die if we didn't do this.
So, yeah, we actually had to come back.
He freaks me out. He's here. I shoot him in the neck immediately.
Why are you such a crack shot with this thing?
That's right, kid. Could this be the same project Kronos that Leroy Anderson was talking about?
Yes, they're 30 years apart, but time doesn't matter when you've got a machine that f***s with it. The problem is,
sure, we've got stories, testimonies, modern day illustrations, all the totems on the pillar of
truth, but we don't have any physical evidence. It's true. No concrete evidence to prove that this thing really existed. And without that, the investigation is over.
But luckily, our investigation is only beginning.
Because like Jacob Sporenberg said,
and by said, I mean the fictional speech that I wrote earlier for him in the podcast.
That was fictional?
Of course it was fictional.
He didn't say any of that stuff.
Jesus.
Well, he mentioned the project.
He didn't say, nothing is truly well he mentioned the project he didn't say
nothing is truly over god damn it i had me hook line and sinker just like jacob said early in
the podcast for the speech that i wrote for him nothing is truly over eventually i stumbled across
a wordpress blog written yeah we're taking a weird twist here we're going back this is your
physical evidence this is the evidence that ties it all together.
You can't even begin to understand what I'm about to tell you.
You turn German.
You ignorant fool.
You cannot understand.
I was there when the day was created.
Is it still fictional?
Yeah, sure.
It's fictional. The WordPress blog was written by a woman named Heather.
The website was called projectchronos.wordpress.com.
Check site.
And it only had two tabs, introduction and shoebox.
Whoa.
So I read the introduction and I couldn't believe my eyes.
She said, my name is Heather and I have a story to tell you.
It's a story I've told a handful of my friends over the years,
but I've always been nervous about telling too many people.
But I think now is the right time to share.
My uncle Guy was always a hero to me.
I used to spend a week each summer at his cottage in Scotland.
We'd fish and cook together.
He'd tell me stories
about when he was young. His stories invariably involved heroics and women, so I always took them
with a pinch of salt. The year before he died, something pretty odd happened. We were in town
picking up things for dinner, and a car backfired. An uncle guy panickedicked i'd never seen him like this he literally burst into tears and
shook like a leaf wow that night he got very drunk and told me one of his stories but this one was
different he pulled out an old shoe box and told me that an old university friend of his marcus
had left him a letter and the shoe box in his will when he died in 1964.
He said that Marcus was killed in a car crash, but he didn't think it was an accident.
You see, Marcus was a journalist who was writing a book on the British government's Project Kronos,
the Ministry of Defense's research into time manipulation.
You say the British government's?
The British government's
project Kronos.
This is going international, guys.
This is worldwide.
The Germans had a bit of it.
Now, Leroy at the start
was talking about the CIA
and the FBI having a project Kronos.
Now we're hearing about
the British government's
project Kronos?
And that's not to mention
all the countries
who had the good sense
to change the f***ing name of the project.
Of course, yeah!
Project Butterbaby or whatever the f*** we called it earlier.
Butterfly?
Of course it's about time travel! You ever heard of the butterfly effect?
The British government are like,
Project Chronos dot com is taken.
Someone's like, should we call it something else? No, no, no.
Dot org will do it. F***, dot org's taken too.
Uh, dot co dot uk too. Dot code UK.
Rats.
I really thought we'd get that one.
Let's try projectchronos.gov.
No, no, you absolutely do not do that.
Too obvious.
That implies that it is a government project.
Of course, I knew that.
A guy in the back of the room.
What about a WordPress?
Hmm.
Good thinking, Heather.
According to Marcus, the government had spent millions on research,
and its work began in the pre-World War II work of two Cambridge-based scientists,
plus the work of at least one German scientist who was brought to England just as the war was ending.
This is what we're saying, folks.
Guys, it's all linking together.
was ending.
This is what we're saying, folks.
Guys, it's all linking together.
Heather went on to say,
the next morning,
Uncle Guy took the box and hid it away and refused to talk about it.
He never mentioned it again.
Uncle Guy died in 2002,
and in his will,
he left me the shoebox.
Over the next few weeks,
I'm going to share what was inside that shoebox.
What? And to find out what's
inside you'll have to join us next week for part two of this paranormal life oh that's right folks
another two-parter continuing on from our two-parter we had uh last week that's right i
absolutely had zero intention of this being a two-parter the original story that was sent to me was simply the
story of leroy anderson the time traveling assassin but as soon as he mentioned project
chronos and i was like hey i need a little bit more info about what project chronos is if i'm
going to talk about it for a goddamn hour yeah i stumbled onto all of this i stumbled onto the nazi
time travel project i stumbled onto heather's WordPress. Then the shoebox.
The shoebox, guys.
You don't even know what is about to happen when we open up the shoebox.
That is Pandora's box.
But already you can see how all these parts of the story are linking together.
You know, Heather's talking about a project called Kronos
that involved a scientist who was taken from Germany right after the World
War? Do I have to draw the links to you? You're looking at me like I'm crazy.
Just take a couple steps back, bud, because you're getting a little closer comfort here.
If the Nazis did, in fact, invent a time machine in the Second World world war when they lost maybe america came and
ganked some of those scientists we already know they ganked the rockets exactly the v2 rockets
other stuff too did you think they didn't gank die glock and this is the exciting thing guys
when you're investigating a case about time travel you don't even need to you can't just investigate why things happened or how they
happened you have to investigate when they happened because time is the name of the game my
friend i believe it was doc brown that said that as soon as he got into the delorean with uh with
marty mcfly sure marty marty mcfly was like doc why why didn't you just make like a machine that could i don't
know end world hunger and he turned to them and he said because marty time is the name of the
motherfucking game i don't think he said that he didn't say he cranked it to 88 miles per hour i
think you might be you're making him sound a bit like he sounds like rick from rick and morty i
think you're getting your characters confused no No, I don't think so.
Because what?
Back to the Future with Marty McFly?
Sure.
The little guy?
A little cartoon boy?
No.
What?
He's little because he's young, I guess.
But no, the little boy,
I think you're thinking of Morty from Rick and Morty.
Morty McFly?
That doesn't sound right.
No, no, no, no, no.
He's not Morty McFly.
He's just Morty. That's the name of the character.
But again, you're getting confused because he's the little guy you're thinking of because doc brown would
never say mother it was a pg movie i'm pretty sure so he would never say yeah it was pretty
good for sure but they didn't swear in it i'm do you think that's what pg stands for of course
but the the you're not going to get this right i swear to god but let me just get this straight
the third back to the Future movie.
The third one.
The third one.
Yeah.
Very famous.
Great movie.
They go back to the cowboy time.
They have to get the time machine going.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're right.
You're right.
Actually.
Yeah.
Doc Brown.
He says yippee-ki-yay, mother f***er.
Because it's like cowboy times.
What am I thinking of?
Die hard at this point.
Yippee-ki-yay.
I already told you.
He doesn't say mother just get that out
of your head at no point did he say it zero times does he say mother i'm just laughing about how
funny it would be if in the original back to the future if it was like a totally you know kids say
friendly movie the whole time and then as soon as the uh they are going back to the future and the delorean hits 88 miles per hour doc just goes yes that's the director's cut
that would be too realistic that'd be incredible so as i said i hope you enjoyed part one of our
investigation into project chronos uh i can assure you, I would have not split this into a two-parter
if there wasn't some insane twists
and very cool information and evidence
coming up from inside the shoebox.
So I hope you had a good time
and I hope you'll stick around for part two.
If you can't get enough of this paranormal life
and you don't have your own time machine
to be able to go forward and binge episodes,
it's fine. Because you can go back in time to patreon.com where we have recorded a beautiful backlog of bonus content
guys we're talking we're pushing 30 episodes of additional this paranormal life episodes that
when you subscribe to the this paranormal life patreon you will have instant access to this is a shoebox full
of paranormal cases that should have been burned up long ago well it's a little bigger than a
shoebox because we're training on me in the shoebox next week it's a shoebox how much can be in it
there's it's not going to be that much stuff in well you don't know what's in the shoebox yet
so i would hold your tongue until you find out yeah but it's it's going to be the size of a
pair of shoes which is pretty damn small it's the first object in the shoebox is actually die glock
it is it has been transformed over the years into a very small bell it's shrunk like a little
shrunken head they washed it on too high a setting and die glock is actually pretty small i hope you enjoyed the bonus
content on patreon.com we don't run ads or anything or have sponsorships on this podcast
so that is the only way truly aside from listening to the show and telling your friends about it that
you can support the podcast so thank you so much to everyone that does support us on patreon
to thank you even further we'd like to give you a special shout out thank you to ellen
caulfield ellen ellen i'm calling you from the field get out get out get out of bed get your
lazy ass out of bed and come harvest some corn no i'm calling her i'm in the field come harvest
the corn it's going bad ellen jesus it's going bad harvest the corn. It's going bad Ellen Jesus
Going bad. Yeah, the corn goes bad pretty fast
Get out here quickly. Thank you to Thomas Reed Thomas Reed paid the bait
This right Thomas peed the bed. So you're trying to slide if you paid the bait. Oh, oh god. Where are you from?
Spine.
Except my parents said I was a little bit of a slow learner.
Okay.
Starting to piece everything together now.
Thomas, I think they make diapers for adults.
Maybe that's something to invest in.
Or investing.
Thank you, too, Jessica Swan.
Or, or, it's Jessica Swan.
That's a swan?
Oh, yeah.
Swans don't... that sounded like a seal.
What the f*** is a seal?
What is a seal? You mean like a, how you might seal something up with a little bit of tape or something?
No, like the animal.
Oh, like the singer.
Yeah, like he's like a human animal, I guess.
But he sings that.
Kiss from a rose.
How do you know so much about seal the musician and not seal the animal?
Well, he's a pretty special original guy. I think that song won a lot of awards. We're not gonna get we're not gonna get
We're talking about why you talking my see what the fuck is the seal?
We're talking about swans here bro. They're called the dogs of the sea.
A swan is a dog of the sea? Jesus we're gonna have to move on here. Thank you to Jason Blonigan
Jason Blonigan
Has the power of invisibility.
Because every time they're like,
where's Jason?
Oh, Blonigan's gone again.
He's gone again.
He'll ask you a question,
turn invisible,
and then you turn around.
Use your powers for good, Jason.
That's all I'll say.
Stop pranking people.
Yeah, and whenever you get
that invisibility power,
sure, there's a few things you want to do you may want to shoplift maybe you want to do a
couple that's what i want to do that's what i think about day and night to be honest with you
but uh you don't have to be invisible to do that by the way what i mean you can shoplift
invisible catch me being visible i can't go back to jail my friend thank Thank you to Jeremy S. Wallace.
Jeremy S. Wallace?
Jeremy swipes wallets, more like.
What?
This little thief isn't even invisible.
And he is a little thief, because Wallace is the smallest.
He just goes around, four foot nothing, stealing wallets from anyone he can find.
Sometimes, he doesn't even like the money, he just likes the kick of it. He will sneakily insert a wallet into someone's
back pocket, and then take it right out again
without getting caught. Insane.
He just gets off on it. Super weird.
Thank you also to Lawrence
Carlos. We've all heard of
Florence Nightingale, but this is Lawrence
Nightingale, the worst nurse
to ever work
in the industry before.
We're talking filling up IV drips with Powerade,
thinking it would rejuvenate them.
That's not smart, though.
Trying to slap people back to life.
I could see how that would work.
He tried to defibrillate someone with a hammer.
Not even an electric hammer.
A little kickstart.
If you run out of electricity, sure.
Listen, you sound like a great innovator,
a great inventor,
you've got a lot of bright ideas.
You just shouldn't be allowed to treat people yeah we need some of those innovative
ideas you know i recently had an idea for podcasts but for the eyes right yeah that's that exists
i don't think so youtube videos anything like that no shit okay yeah no that's fair i wasn't
thinking i thought like at least you're not hurting people
that's the main thing that's the main thing because i was thinking like blasting sound
into your eyes yeah and seeing if that would do something that would hurt that would well that's
that's for uh that's for lawrence to find out isn't it buddy you're giving him the ideas thank
you too uzzy uzzy's a little fuzzy with the details You know they say
Hey did you see who stole my car
Maybe I did maybe I didn't
Well that's not very helpful
He's saying that from the driver's seat
Of your car as well
So he obviously knows he took it
Speed's away
Thank you to Rasmus Pedersen
Rasmus is always asking to pet her son
Rasmus you can't do Rasmus is always asking to pet her son. Rasmus, you can't do that.
Parents will rarely give you permission to pet their son.
It's a bit weird if you don't know them.
It's a weird question, yeah.
It's a weird question.
You might want to rephrase the question.
May I tap your son's head?
No, it still won't go.
These aren't babies either.
These are, you know, 16, 17-year-old men.
21-year-old jocks, yeah.
Of course, yeah yeah you can't just
pat another human it's condescending thank you to chris o'shea chris o'shea loves christmas day
he wishes it could be every single day of the year you know january 3rd he's he's leaving cookies
and milk down at the chimney santa's not showing up everyone else is taking down their
their tree and their cookies oh yeah but he's he's he's got more trees he's got a little forest in
the room he started leaving out caviar and champagne at the bottom of the chimney for
santa to show up he's up golden bars bitcoin all ready to be taken bitcoin yeah oh that's right
what the f**k is this this is like a RuneScape drop party.
Just leave an expensive shit on the ground.
He just wants Santa to turn up.
Whatever it takes to make that happen, he's gonna do it.
It's too old to believe in the guy.
Thank you to Brie Garcia.
Brie Garcia, I can barely see ya.
That's right, she has the power of invisibility once again.
A lot of invisible people watch this show.
It's just a pair of floating headphones walking down the street.
That's what we like to tell our sponsors.
They say, who listens?
The demographic.
What's a demo? Who listens to it?
Yeah.
Mostly invisible folks.
What?
So if you want to sell them, I don't know.
What's that shit that the invisible girls' clothes were made of in The Incredibles?
That can also turn invisible?
I don't know.
Whatever that is, if you want to
sell them that and the sponsors usually say they don't exist do they and we say absolutely not
but brie exists we got the cash to prove it that's true but thank you so much for your support brie
thank you to scl wow generous uh contribution here from the south carolina library wow um we have
spent a lot of time there
brushing up on information
about local South Carolina cryptids
in the library.
Plot twist,
they don't have any books on it.
They don't find it factual.
They don't find it informative.
So we did trash the place
last time we were there.
That's actually a bill.
I'm seeing it on your thing.
That's not a donation.
That's a bill.
Oh, I thought that was
a generous donation.
That's actually,
we're f***ed enough.
Yeah, that's pretty much going to take a couple months off of us.
Interesting.
F*** all y'all.
You're not getting a penny out of us.
Absolutely not.
Thank you to Brandon Little.
Brandon Little has been branded a little.
When he was first born, I think the parents were a little worried about, like, a little hospital baby switch up.
You know, getting confused with another baby. He's been branded like a cog? Yeah, but were a little worried about like a little hospital baby switch switch up, you know getting confused with another baby
He's a branded like a car. Yeah, but just a little
Right. He's been branded a baby. That's illegal like a tiny it wasn't even like go. That's your dick
It wasn't even a real thing
They were basically like when the nurse left they were like quick click and they just like just tapped him with a lit with a lit
Cigarette that was it. That's insane. He was so confused. He was like, where am I?
What the fuck was didn't work either because they dropped a couple ashes on the other babies so
all the babies got a little branding that day got a little branding they had to then do their
initials with the cigarette which uh there was more than a little brand there's a little branding
yeah but the typo meant that they had to redo the whole thing and scribble that out he's got a back piece this toddler has a back piece thank you to Olivia to co its Olivia
cool your wits about you because you're going to Bolivia I hope you can speak
in Bolivian or whatever they speak because yeah we're dropping you down
like a secret agent style you're not going to have a passport any money any phone or anything you're going to have to start a new life witness protection program
this paranormal lifestyle i'm pretty sure that they give agents all of those things that's like
part of the deal they give them like money and then drop them off so we're mugging people yeah
we are dumping their bodies where they will never escape because she'll never survive
we're not an agency are we we? We're a criminal agency.
Thank you to Tom Goss.
Tom Goss, inventor of Tom's Gloss.
Wow.
That's right.
The hottest lip gloss to ever hit the lips.
He is the proud inventor of the lip-flavored lip gloss.
Whoa, that doesn't sound good.
You can gloss up your lips,
but they taste like lips.
So people don't even know you're wearing lip your lips but they taste like lips so people don't even
know you're wearing lip gloss but your lips stay freaky fresh that's it that's terrifying that's
the company that's the company motto awful keep those lips freaky fresh that's i want to move on
that's tom's uh company slogan i hope you go out of business tom thank you lastly but not
to declan fernandez hecklin declan cannot keep his gob
shut when he goes to a comedy show we've had to ban him from several this paranormal life live
events because he has posted on the event pages just being like oh i'll be there don't you worry
and everyone go everyone comments underneath please ruin the last couple of shows i swear
you weren't you ruined my granddad's funeral because you wouldn't you just we didn't even invite you i don't know how you find out where we live it's
abuse it's not even heckling you're just heckling the dead yeah which isn't fair because they can't
even talk they can't talk back the thing is he's really good at it so whenever we try to shut him
down he like he has the craziest one-liners he's preparing all day long the audience were booing
us by the end we got thrown off off stage. Someone gave him a mic.
He got the next night.
He got the headline act the next night.
Yeah, I think he's at Fringe Festival this year.
It's fucked.
But his whole show is that he doesn't take the stage
and he waits for someone else to go up and be like,
I'm sorry, there was a comedian that was supposed to be here tonight.
And then from the crowd, he's like, you fucked up.
And everyone's like, yeah.
He starts heckling him. He's Declanan he's funny we should go see him we should actually
we should i'd love to see i'd love to see him roast that guy who's playing this weekend that'll
be great that'll be a really good show that guy's such a b***h thank you Declan and thank you
everyone that we've shouted out who supports us on patreon.com we couldn't do it without you guys
you're the reason that this podcast is still going to this day and we're so grateful that it is
because we love making it make sure to tune in next week when we open the shoebox and find out
all about project chronos until then we will see you next week ciao