This Paranormal Life - #223 The Beast Of Exmoor - Britain's Paranormal Predator
Episode Date: July 27, 2021Britain’s largest native predator is the fox. Or is it? Devon farmer Eric Ley didn’t know what to believe after he discovered a horrifying scene on his farm. Little did he know it would quickly es...calate into a national emergency. Was the beast even real? Why did Rory kill a wizard? Mystery, myth, and military collide in the tale of The Beast of Exmoor.BUY OFFICIAL TPL MERCHwww.thisparanormallife.com/storePatreonpatreon.com/ThisParanormalLifeYouTubeyoutube.com/thisparanormallifeTwittertwitter.com/ThisParaLifeInstagraminstagram.com/thisparanormallifeSecret Society Facebook Pagewww.facebook.com/groups/thisparanormallife/Intro music: www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Does Earth have a dark side, like the moon?
Was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles based on a true story?
Answers to these questions and more on this episode of
This Paranormal Life!
Yo, and welcome back to This Paranormal Life,
a comedy podcast where every Tuesday we investigate a different claim or case
and come to a decision within the hour whether it's truly paranormal or not.
As always, you're joined by myself, Mr. Kikrim Mulvana. This guy across from me, Mr. Roy
Pars. How are you doing today, Roy? I'm doing great. We are recording kind of in the middle
of a huge thunderstorm and there have been crashes occasionally. So who knows? Maybe
we won't even have to do any sound effects this week. If we just wait for the right timing, we could get a thunder crash right when we need it. Slightly worrying that we do record on the
75th floor of the Shard. Right, right, right. We're prone to thunder strikes. So if you hear
some of those, you'll know where they're coming from. Rory, today's story is worryingly close to home. Are you ready to dive in? Yeah, well,
how close is it? It's 1983 on a dark and misty day in South Malton, Devon. Local farmer Eric
Lay is off to feed his sheep. Walking over the moors, he realizes that there's a commotion
amongst some of his animals. They're pacing around in the mist. They seem agitated,
making a lot of noise. Which is worrying because as Rory explained in a recent episode,
the animals are always the first to know.
Calm down girls, what's going on?
As he walks into the crowd of ewes, they all scatter to make room for him. All except one.
On the ground he sees a large sheep and it takes him a minute to realize it's also one of his sheep. It's been torn apart,
limb from limb, its throat ripped out. Whoa! Jesus Christ, what's happened here?
He looks up for signs of a perpetrator, maybe a fox running into the distance.
But now the crowd has cleared, his heart sinks,
because there isn't just one dead sheep in his field, but ten.
Maybe twelve carcasses torn apart, as far as he can see.
Oh my god, there was a massacre!
This is the bit in the horror movie where he looks down.
He's got paws covered in blood.
He looks in a puddle at his reflection.
He's a wolf, screaming, waking up from a nightmare.
But sadly for Eric, there was no waking up from this nightmare.
This was very real.
He visited some of his neighbors, telling them to keep an eye on him,
suspiciously looking at their dogs for sign of a serial killer mentality.
But they all quietly accepted that this was almost certainly a fox or stray dog.
Sure, this thing killed a lot more than usual,
but attacks on livestock were pretty common.
But when people say,
this kind of thing happens all the time,
they don't usually mean it will happen again immediately
and to the same person.
When Eric went to sleep that night,
he looked out into his fields, sheep staring back at him. He could practically hear them saying,
bro, don't do this to us. We need some security out here, a bodyguard sheep or something.
Even some basic self-defense training. Last night we were bleeding and bleeding and you never came
to help. But alas, men and beasts were not destined to communicate with each other.
So he drew the curtains and went to sleep.
You can kind of see where this is going, Rory.
He's asking for it at this point.
When Eric woke up and walked out into his field the next day,
even more sheep had been killed, torn apart limb from limb by some kind of beast.
Eric, you have only yourself to blame my friend.
Get a f***ing ring camera. See what's doing this.
Even in the- even in the uh, the story with the three little piggies,
even they had- even they had a straw house to defend them when the wolf came.
At least they got a heads up.
Eric won't even let them have a straw house. He's just like, fend for yourselves, boys.
That's right.
He could have at least put up like a shotgun tied to a piece of cheese in front of it or something.
That if the beast took the cheese, it might get blasted.
If I was a farmer and this sort of thing happened to me, I am stuffing my trousers with hay.
Stuffing my trousers with hay stuff stuffing my shirt with hay and i'm posing midnight like a scarecrow up on a up on a crucifix just waiting for someone to come down and as soon
as that thing comes down i'm launching myself at it and wrestling it to the ground that's how i
know i'd be a good farmer what if it's actually quite a big beast, though?
You have to stay as a scarecrow all night.
Your arms are getting sore as shit.
I'm sweating bullets over here.
This
12-foot werewolf is like,
did that scarecrow just fart?
I don't know.
Can they do that?
No, he didn't! You didn't hear anything!
The sheep are walking over to you, eating the hay out of your trousers off and it didn't stop over the next three months eric would
lose over 100 sheep to this mysterious night predator and it started affecting his neighbor's
farms too clearly this was no ordinary fox.
It was much too big, much too powerful, too violent, and too hungry.
At the local pub, rumours circulated.
I saw a dark creature with red eyes crawling around the fields at night.
Maybe it's a Brazilian super fox.
I heard its blood-curdling scream under the full moon last night i heard it has tiny
knives called claws on its foot the townspeople talked and talked about what was going on
yet all they could agree on was calling it the beast of x more
that wouldn't be a good time for a thunder crash mother nature
we've been sitting here for 45 minutes since rory said that
and we just we have to press on uh what are you doing in these circumstances rory um aside from
my scarecrow plan which is not a bad plan but we did uh notice a couple of holes in that idea. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. If the animals interfere,
um, if that doesn't work, I'm going to use the wool from the deceased, uh, to dress myself up
as a sheep. I'll bait myself. I'll be there. And I'll like, you know, I don't know what makes sheep
hot. I'll put on some like eyeliner and I'll fluff up my fur and stuff and be like, Ooh,
I'll put on some like eyeliner and I'll fluff up my fur and stuff and be like,
Ooh,
I hope a big bad wolf doesn't come and snatch me.
And then, uh,
I don't think soon as a beast,
I don't think the beast is looking for these sheep in a sexual nature.
And I'd like,
you know,
push my hooves out and make like kissy noises and stuff.
And then,
and then as soon as the beast comes,
it's like,
yeah,
I'd maybe like,
you want to commit to it as well.
So I'd let it like go at me for like a couple minutes i'm sorry you gotta be more specific go at you because
you're just talking about being a sexy little sheep and then uh do you mean attack you sure
yeah um do whatever it needs to do let the business be done jesus and then as soon as it's done i'm like oh i had such a good time i think that yeah
and i pull off my my face and i've got i like neo style i've got two uzis under my my shepherd's
cloak and uh and i'll just start blasting lighting him up so that's how i deal with it you had the guns all along you chose to wait
until the wolf had to be clear the wolf me sex with you the wolf yeah so why not just attack
the wolf before it it tries to fuck you don't question my methods you have to commit you have
to lure him into a false sense of security so he puts his guard down him or like i think it's eating the
sheep i don't think it's f***ing the sheep i think i said they were quote torn apart limb from limb
not like ass to mouth okay no so your two plans are dress up like a scarecrow yeah and and observe
the beast before attacking it or dress up like a sheep, get f***ed by the wolf.
Yeah, yeah.
And then attack it.
Yeah, I guess I could probably use the guns.
I can't believe you came up with an idea worse than the scarecrow.
It's actually the same idea, except you just get f***ed.
I'm going to dress up as a scarecrow. Get down on my hands
and knees. No. Wow. So I regret asking what you would do in this situation. What would you do
then, asshole? If my ideas suck so hard. Call the authorities. Right. And when they get there,
you're like on your hands and knees ready to go okay oh mr sexy policeman
uh would you like to see a photo believed to be of the beast itself yes i would whoa
that is really strange starting to regret
starting to regret a lot of things uh this is this is uh this is a picture taken from quite
far away but they've blown it up um so you can you can see the higher details i'm kind of
struggling to see the scale of this because it could be the size of a bear or it could be the
size of a badger there's not really a lot for reference it kind of looks like a little pony
like my little pony okay you know like little tiny little pony legs and a little body maybe
even smaller i i gotta be honest i think your first take was my first take to me it just looks
exactly like a bear but i don't know if they have a lot of bears in this part of the UK, to be fair.
Spoiler alert, they don't.
I mean, this is one aggressive pony.
Yeah, there's not a lot to go on.
I agree, it is a little hard to get the scale.
I think we can see, I mean, I think for sure bigger than a badger.
Right.
But somewhere between wolf and bear uh to my eyes i mean a lot of the descriptions we had from the townspeople is a beast with glowing red eyes that allegedly ripped
out the throats of over a hundred sheep let it be known audience members from that picture i think
if that thing attacked i could dropkick it into a ditch.
All right.
Well, you don't know the scales.
I think I could flick it into the horizon.
No, you could not.
It looks tiny.
You're going to regret saying that because you're going to actually sound pretty stupid in about two paragraphs.
Because I definitely haven't yet.
On this paranormal life, we've been in this situation quite a few times.
And usually at this point in the story, the town people assemble into a vigilante squad.
Far more dangerous, by the way, than whatever they think is out there.
Dad squad.
Someone pretty much always ends up getting hurt.
For some reason, instead of turning to the authorities, people always make themselves the authorities.
But this is where our story takes a different and sharper turn.
Eric's living nightmare situation soon gets back to the agriculture minister,
aka the upper echelons of British government.
I guess even though this seems like a small niche case for someone that important,
if this thing gets out of hand, it could become a bigger and bigger problem.
Yeah, if it's eating everything, yeah.
How long till it gets a taste for children?
That's what you need to be scared of.
Within the week,
the Royal Marines had deployed
a unit to the Murrs to
track and eliminate the Beast.
Think of this as a
20th century version of
Kill the Beast from Beauty and the Beast, but with high-tech commandos.
What year did you say this was again?
1983.
Oh, wow, that's worryingly recent.
Soon, the quiet moors were crawling with British military snipers, watching for any movement that wasn't a sheep or a human.
But this is where things started to get weird. The snipers started to catch glimpses of the beast,
a flash in the corner of their eye, a rustle of a bush in the distance. Through their night vision
goggles, it was like hunting f***ing predator. This thing is darting around the field faster than possible for a fox or anything like it. Two marines, Wilson and Andrews, are camped looking over a hill,
one with their rifle in hand, the other scanning the mirrors.
Christ, I can't see anything from here. Wilson, can you pass me that 24x50 scope?
Wilson? When he looks around,
Wilson has been reduced to a twisted skeleton.
What? His bones licked clean.
By the beast of Exmoor.
Licked clean?
He devoured him like a KFC bucket.
Inches from his butt.
How did he not hear this?
Just bones. Yeah yeah i might have slightly
exaggerated this one for a storytelling effect his bones might not have been licked clean exactly
but the marines commanding officer was quoted as saying that the beast behaved with extremely high
almost human intelligence and quote always moved with surrounding cover amongst hedges and woods.
Not only that, but for the split second that one of the snipers did get a clean shot to take,
they would miss, hit a rock, and send a.5 caliber bullet
ricocheting through the quiet Devon countryside,
hitting even more sheep and risking human lives.
And by the way, this bullet doesn't stop at one sheep.
It keeps going.
It's like a game of dominoes.
So they went out to kill the monster that was killing all the sheep
and accidentally sniped more sheep.
Collateral damage, sure.
Okay, this seems like a bad idea.
Maybe you should have got someone who understands the wild,
some sort of Steve Irwin- style uh hunter not just a guy with
a massive gun the situation was a catch-22 you need a damn army to take this thing down but you
can't just unleash an army in the countryside the only option was to trap the beast drive this thing
into a corner and put this sick puppy down.
They haven't tried that many things.
They tried to snipe it
and now they're like,
now the only thing we can do is trap it
and snipe it from point blank range.
Put the barrel in his beast mouth
and blow it off like a rail gun.
There should have been more people involved
in the planning process.
You think it went too quickly from
the local farmer to the uk marines yeah i think there should have been a division i feel like the
uk marines were uh at approaching a budget meeting where they had to justify paying for all of these
snipers to be a part of the force. We've got about 12,000 rounds
that need shot between now and then.
And we don't have enough wars
to fire them off in.
We need to create a war
in the British countryside.
That's a fair accusation, I think.
You know, I can forgive the logic.
You know, they just went from zero to 100 too quick.
They wanted to sort this thing as fast as possible, but they just overstepped it by a little bit.
But don't worry, the Marines do have other ideas.
They made a new plan codenamed Operation Beastie.
Under the cover of night, night vision goggles engaged.
They tracked this mysterious blur on the mirrors in an epic game of cat and mouse.
It's gone east! Don't let it get away.
After hours, finally, they drove it towards an abandoned building and surrounded it.
At this point, I'm imagining 50-person SWAT team with machine guns, smoke grenades, the whole thing.
But when the Marines breached the building, guns ready to take aim and fire...
It was gone.
Building?
The building was completely empty.
I thought we were in the woods.
They drove it towards an abandoned building.
Oh, okay. And then it went inside.
It sounds like this beast has a five-star wanted level.
It crashed its Lambo into the bottom of the abandoned warehouse.
It's taking hostages.
The beast has a hostage.
He's got a sheep by the neck drop your guns or
i'll rip his throat out you can't get out of here alive wait a minute eric clay the farmer stay back
i needed to claim the insurance money on the sheep something something so funny about the idea of a a cryptid being cornered and like
bargaining like an actual hostage situation like it's on the news and it's just be like
i wanna i want two hundred thousand dollars in unmarked bills and a helicopter it's like what
are you gonna do with a helicopter you have claws you can't fit in a helicopter i'm also gonna need a pilot for the
helicopter they give him the pilot beats him immediately two pilots it's true we don't know
what this thing's motives are they said it had almost human-like intelligence. Maybe this thing is more man than beast. Yeah,
they did describe it as being human-like. They said it was like it had slipped out of this
dimension entirely. Calling it a night, the Marines leader had no choice but to retreat
and give up the hunt. Nothing had worked, and they were creating more danger than security on the MERS.
It's like how they say no modern army has ever conquered Afghanistan, because it's so mountainous
and hilly and dangerous to invade. This beast is on home turf. You can't beat it at its own game.
Rory, has this ever happened on TPL before? Firstly, that the damn military are sent into track and hunter cryptid and secondly that they can't do
it maybe not this in a case this recent i feel like back in the days when they would just throw
the military at anything we had it happen and the reason they couldn't do it is because they had like
old-timey pirate pistols that took seven days to reload um i'm pretty sure uh springheel jack showed up at some point in the civil war and
yeah both sides had to like agree to team up and fight against him whereas these guys have snipers
and night vision goggles i'm not too sure if we've ever had a case like that maybe we have i don't
know but um i applaud the military for taking this thing so seriously at the very least absolutely
i mean
they said that it you said that it slipped into another dimension and we kind of moved past that
very fast uh was that just their way of saying we couldn't find him in the in the building you know
it's uh it's their words not mine he didn't like open a rick and morty portal and jump through and
disappear i mean i guess that's possible.
Now that you mention it.
Well, I think I'm saying I don't think it's possible.
Yeah, yeah.
And that probably was what the army meant when they said it.
Like maybe he literally jumped dimensions.
Disappeared.
I don't think that's what they were saying.
I think maybe they couldn't find him.
I don't know.
I think it's an interesting point.
Thanks for bringing it up.
Let's explore that.
No, let's not.
Let's end that there, I think.
What if it's an interesting point. Thanks for bringing it up. Let's explore that. No, let's not. Let's end that there, I think. What if it's an interdimensional beast?
I don't even think you said that word right.
What if it is an interdimensional beast, really?
Is it Papa Normal?
It might be.
You shouldn't be hosting anymore if this is...
You did just have your second job less than 24 hours ago.
That's right.
So I should excuse any mistakes made today.
I haven't slept.
And I spent all night ass naked trying to hunt a mosquito in my room.
When I woke up and Googled it, it turns out England doesn't have mosquitoes.
So it probably didn't.
I dreamt the whole thing.
So what I'm saying is it was an interdimensional mosquito.
Right.
Smart, smart, smart.
The only logical explanation.
In my blee.
In my blee.
I do love the arrogance of the military corneringing this beast breaching the building and their only
explanation for how the beast got away being it slipped out of this dimension yeah not like it
just got away or slipped out or there's no way they wrote that in the official report
there's no way you could report that to your higher-ups that's insane we tend to believe
that it uh it's skipped galaxies.
Where we are not sure, we do not believe the technology exists,
how the beast would have got a Stargate,
but we believe it jumped galaxies.
Jenkins, you say everyone jumped galaxies.
Not everything can slip in and out of this dimension.
You said that when I asked if anyone had seen my packed lunch this afternoon.
Crumbs around his mouth.
I believe in me.
You've traveled interdimensionally to my stomach.
I think your BLT now exists in biblical days.
I think Jesus himself is enjoying it on the plains of Bethlehem.
All right, no more sniper missions for you.
No more snipers.
Who gave you that gun?
You should not have it.
It does seem mad that the military
couldn't get a good look at this thing.
But bearing in mind,
I showed you the best photo we have of this beast.
Just so you get the picture of this whole thing,
here's the second best photo we have of this thing.
Oh, wow.
When was this taken this is terrible it seems a damn lot earlier than 1986 yeah this is i mean this is like an old-timey sepia tone
photograph of just just a dog in a field or a boar or something it's so pixelated that you can't even, you can't see anything.
It is possible that this
is nothing to do with the Beast of Exmoor.
Yeah, the audacity to see that
and be like, that's it.
It might be a cat in a garden,
to be honest.
But I'm not going to leave you hanging.
There is a video believed to be of the beast?
We really shouldn't be calling this thing a beast.
We've investigated beasts before in this podcast,
and they are 12 foot, standing on their hind legs,
claws as sharp as a velociraptor.
Uh-huh.
That's a badger, my friend.
This thing is tiny.
I'm going to ask you to watch it again.
I know that apparently we've got to watch an ad now. But as soon as this ad is over and you watch it again, you're going to regret what you just said.
The footage played twice, by the way, the first time around.
So I've already seen it two times.
I really feel like a third time is the charm.
I mean, look, at most, this thing kind of looks like a panther like a big cat exactly at a push as in one of the largest predators on planet earth i think you'll find man is the
largest predator on earth i'm pretty sure panther is bigger than man, even. Yeah, f*** you.
That did work.
Because, and on fourth viewing, you will think it is the Lord come back to life.
It is a blood curdling, fearsome beast.
I'll watch it one more time.
That's a Decepticon.
That is a 20 foot robot Lord.
Starscream?
I am sweating bullets, by the way.
I think you have a fever.
I do have a fever.
I never denied I had a fever.
This is maybe the worst condition we've ever done the podcast in.
It is so hot in this room.
You are up all night with a fever and you're clearly very sick.
I'm not sick.
I'm getting side effects from the
bill gates virus vaccine and i was out till 4 a.m last night drinking in someone's garden i didn't
mention this there are and i don't know why this is relevant but they say the the garden was haunted
because there's nine cats buried in it.
So I'm cursed.
You're sick.
A cat cemetery. That's very hot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We got to wrap this thing up.
There's a lot going on.
Emotions are running high.
Clearly.
I'm glad you landed
on Panther
because
I think
and I think you've seen it now
when you watch that video
it moves exactly
like a panther.
It does.
It's got a long tail as well.
It's got the slinky shoulders and the big tail.
So the Marines have retreated.
The problem wasn't solved, though, and it was only getting worse.
Livestock continued to be killed by the dozen,
and the beast was now getting cocky.
It started to be spotted in other locations.
Fishermen hanging out in the nearby
river said they saw something the size of a bear, seven feet long, fishing with its massive paws
before running off. It started moving closer and closer to the town. Soon pets started going
missing. Cats and dogs vanishing overnight. And if the owners even caught a glimpse of what happened,
all they saw was a giant beast leaping over their six-foot fence in one go
into the pitch black of night.
Whoa.
At this point, the locals are getting a good picture of this thing.
Many were describing it as a huge panther-like creature,
seven plus feet long, with a powerful body and black all over.
Definitely nothing like any native animal of the UK.
We're really doubling down now on the panther idea.
Because before it was like, kind of moves like a man.
It can shift in and out of different dimensions.
Now it's kind of like, a couple of people have seen a big cat.
It was pawing at fish down by the river.
Interdimensional fish. Maybe there ain't fish down by the river. Interdimensional fish.
Maybe there ain't fish in the other dimension.
He's got a taste for sashimi.
He caught a megalodon, a prehistoric shark,
and brought it to Exeter.
The Ministry of Defense did continue to study this case
until sometime in the 90s,
where it said they decided the beast was either a hoax
or a myth and that all the sightings up to that point were a misidentification of regular animals
that live in the devon area but how can that be rory the uk's largest predator is a fox and man
as we said how can a seven foot beast leaping over fences be misidentified as a fox yeah that's a really
good point look you're talking to a guy who i want to go into details here but also saw a creature
leap over a seven foot fence in seemingly one bound so and and and i have been um ridiculed
for years about it so uh i appreciate where these people come from.
And they suffered from it directly.
Imagine people being like,
yeah, I actually don't think it exists.
And it's like, well, I lost 20,000 sheep last year.
It's just a field of carcasses and bones.
So how dare you tell me that this thing doesn't exist?
Yeah.
It seems like the Marines just sauntered in,
blew their sniper budget for the next three years
and then said, actually, nothing was there.
Luckily for the military, the sightings did start to subside
and killings of farm animals gradually went back to normal levels,
meaning most people were happy to accept
that the beast really was just a myth.
To this day, the Beast is kind of an unofficial mascot of the area.
For example, I would love to try this local beer called the Exmoor Beast, a 6.6% dark ale.
Wow, that's intense.
Just showing Rory the bottle art. It's pretty cool.
Yeah.
But I don't think this is exactly the end of the story
because the Beast of Exmoor
kind of fits into a bigger picture here in the UK.
Big cat sightings in the UK are on the increase.
Some areas are now called panther hotspots.
That ain't no normal cat.
Jesus, that must be huge.
Bright green noise and it flew.
It absolutely sped off into the darkness.
I entered the heathland just before it got dark
and lo and behold, the crow started giving alarm calls.
So I waited and looked and there it was,
a long, low, large jet black animal emerged from the bushes.
Rory, have you heard of this phenomenon,
big cats in the UK?
We've had this emailed in a number of times
by people to tell us to investigate.
And I haven't really looked into it myself, but I have heard that it is a thing. These cats that
don't belong in these parts of the world just appearing, killing livestock, terrorizing towns.
Yeah. I would love to know if this is an all over the UK thing or in specific parts.
It's a weird little memory nugget, even in my mind,
that living in Northern Ireland growing up,
I never really thought about it ever,
but it was very, very common to like every six months to a year,
someone would be like, yeah, there's a tiger on the loose in County Don.
Yeah, or a panther.
And like you really didn't blink hearing that news.
But it was always in the papers,
it was always in the local press,
farmers all over the country claiming they've seen lions, tigers, panthers,
all of the above.
Yeah.
Someone should really look into the zoos
in Northern Ireland, I think.
And the Beast of Exmoor
is only one of a laundry list
of potentially paranormal
cryptids to name just a few there's the beast of Cumbria the Hull Hellcat the Burry Beast the
Wildcat of Wakefield the Perth Shore Panther the Wildcat of Warwickshire you're giving away
weeks of content here my friend to be clear today we aren't deciding on whether British
big cats are paranormal.
I just wanted to focus on the Beast of Exmoor because I think its story is unique.
I'm pretty sure the British military didn't go to war with any of these other ones.
Right.
And I'd love to do another episode looking at all the other big cat cryptids of the UK.
But for today, let's focus on the Beast of Exmoor.
Okay.
There's a ton of possibilities for what this thing is, if anything,
so we've got to decide if it's paranormal or not.
Rory, we've got some photographic evidence, some better than others,
a short video, tons of eyewitness testimonies,
and even some government and military investigation,
but they never brought this thing in in handcuffs.
What does it make you think?
Makes me think that they f***ed up big time.
They went straight to full force, and what they should have done was use the knowledge that this
is a big cat to their advantage. You know, put out a little saucer full of milk, get a little
ball of yarn, maybe some toys, get a laser. They should have used the lasers on the snipers on
their red dot sites to get them to like chase it up a tree and
then down into a little cage you could have used its cat-like instinct against it that would have
been smart dressed up as a sexy cat oh well yeah now you're speaking my language yeah put on cat
ears get down your hands and knees and whoa that's really interesting if you're saying if they had
latched
on to the fact this was a big cat earlier they might have had a better chance at bringing this
uh sick puppy in yeah the sick kitten um at the very least if you wanted to deal with it
bring in a paranormal dog to hunt it sure then of course you have to deal with the dog at some
point yeah at least put a tracking chip
on the thing
so it doesn't get loose.
Or like
Escape from New York.
You put a bomb
in the dog's head
so that as soon as it
kills the big cat,
mission complete,
detonate it
and you're fine.
Everyone can go back to normal.
And what do you think here
about the elephant in the room that we have there's an elephant now identified oh my god
the sniper bullets are just pinging off this thing is rampaging through the town interdimensional
elephant my god the the elephant in the room is that this thing may well be a big cat.
Sure.
The problem is big cats don't exist in the UK, outside of zoos.
Sure.
And if they did get out of zoos, they wouldn't last very long.
And their bodies would turn up eventually.
They certainly wouldn't be able to breed and multiply.
So how do we explain this?
Is it truly a big cat that's come from somewhere
is it an interdimensional big cat is it some other type of cryptid that just looks a lot like a big
cat i think uh the problem with this one is this creature aside from it allegedly slipping into
another dimension hasn't really done anything paranormal yeah you know it didn't even like
appear in two places at once or travel
some crazy distance they've been pretty much able to track its movements and the location that it's
in it kind of evaded snipers who didn't seem like they were that good at sniping yeah it's kind of
just behaved like a regular don't talk shit about wilson because he his bones were licked clean i
forgot about that died for the cause.
Yeah, I don't know. There's nothing here that's like screams paranormal. Abnormal, sure, but not paranormal. That's very true. And certainly the photographic evidence was inconclusive at best.
Yeah. We're really lacking a sense of scale in those images and videos.
Yeah. We're really lacking a sense of scale in those images and videos.
Yeah. It's a little disappointing. Why is it always, it's always the same animals that get the paranormal treatment, you know? It's always like cats, dogs, maybe a goat and once a donkey.
Right. Never an aardvark. Yeah. Never a squirrel.
I want people to hunt a paranormal armadillo yeah i want i want
someone to be chasing after a ghost ostrich never a dolphin yeah that would have been that's way more
fun but it never happened you don't see it happen i wonder what it is maybe it's because these
creatures that do exist as predators in the world like foxes and wolves a lot of the times they're
the ones that are actually doing the killing so that's why a lot of the cryptids are wolf-like
claws you know resemble the predators that exist in the real world it's true i guess you know they
have an impact like a farmer is going to be like, a f***ing bottlenose jumped my electric fence and ripped the throat out of all my sheep.
He's not going to notice a paranormal field mouse.
No, just nibbling on the ankles.
Interdimensionally slipping in and out of his field.
We do have the responsibility, nay the privilege, at the end of every episode to decide if our case is paranormal.
Rory, what are you saying today about the Beast of Exmoor?
I'm going to say no, not paranormal.
I think there's too many logical explanations as to what this thing could be.
And we don't have enough evidence, unfortunately, to say it is paranormal.
It's a double no.
It was close, though.
It was close.
Have you ever seen the Rescuers or the rescuers down under
cartoon children's cartoon movie i think so jog my memory uh it's basically a team of mice
and they go around the world uh helping people i just wanted to make sure that i was thinking
about mice and that was right you weren't to say it was a documentary about paramedics.
No, in Australia.
I like the idea of creatures getting involved to solve the issues that other creatures are causing.
So I wish there was almost like a pair of cats that had to like show up and deal with this cat.
You know, it's like their jurisdiction.
Right. So it's like their jurisdiction. Right.
So it's like, we're not involved.
You need like the cat detectives and the cat police
to come up and deal with this cat that's going kind of nuts.
Well, the problem is the dog police have been pretty lousy
about keeping on top of a dog crime, dog on dog crime.
The beast actually ate a lot of the mice detectives.
We had to stop sending them in.
It was like just snacks for him.
Guys, I hope you have enjoyed this investigation into the beast of Exmoor.
I don't know.
Maybe you've seen this damn thing yourself.
If so, let us know at the usual places.
This Paranormal Life podcast at gmail.com or just hit us up on social media.
All of the links to which are in the description of this podcast.
Did you know, Rory, that there is another dimension
that our listeners can slip into?
Simply by going to patreon.com forward slash thisparanormallife
they can slip into an alternate dimension
where Kit and Rory recorded 45 more episodes of this paranormal life.
Oh my God.
How do they get there?
How does a portal open?
Is it an old spell book?
By simply putting...
Do I have to kill a wizard?
Five Earth Dimension dollars into Patreon.
Oh.
You can get access to all of it.
So, sorry, it wasn't the wizard?
It wasn't killing the wizard?
No. No. What wizard? access to all of it so sorry it wasn't the wizard it wasn't killing the wizard no no what wizard oh geez i should have clarified before i shouldn't have gone this far so all right okay um
all right uh is there do i get anything for the for the wizard's blood for all of patreon i've killed the wizard i want to be clear on that
now i already killed the wizard man the guy i thought that was the whole point you i thought
you were like there's another dimension where we've done a bunch of stuff yep and you can get
access to the dimension yep by slitting the wizard's throat no one said that okay no one
said that all right i jumped the i jumped the ship here i shouldn't have done that so so quickly because he was trying to tell me
he was like no i think you only need money i was like shut it you little it sounds like you
murdered a customer service rep from patreon is that who that was it sounds like he might have
talked like a wizard and that was why you thought yeah Yeah, and the glasses too. He has the Harry Potter glasses.
What was his last words?
He said, stop, you don't need any money.
He was saying that you don't need to kill anyone to access anything in the world.
How unfortunate that the guy that sounded like that happened to meet the one guy who was trying to kill a wizard that day.
That's exactly what he sounded like.
When I phoned up, he was like was like hello can i help you with anything like send me your location right now
i'm coming for you you better grab your wand asshole all right so rory's not gonna be out of
jail much longer um you don't need to kill anybody you can just go on the website apparently me right
i shouldn't have...
Right, okay.
The other dimension thing, that was just...
I wasn't even...
That was like a little joke.
It's not...
There wasn't even a real dimension.
It's a metaphor.
It's a metaphor.
Cool.
Is there some dimension that I can go to,
to like reverse the flow of time, possibly?
Absolutely not.
Metaphorically, you can pay for your crimes by going to the flow of time possibly absolutely not metaphorically you can pay for
your crimes by going to the dimension of jail is there some sort of dimension in which one could
offload a corpse and slip back into his own stop talking all right stop talking right now because
could you uh just hold this dagger for a second make sure you get your fingerprints all good over
it would you mind just
checking the weight of this i feel like the weight is off of my dagger as soon as you grab it that's
him officer the man who killed the wizard in a twist they all applaud he was really a wizard
congratulations sir you killed america's most wanted wizard. What? No, it was really me. He was the head of ISIS and causing climate change.
This is so f***ed.
There's a parade through downtown.
Cat, cat, cat, cat.
I've got the wizard's blood all over my face.
Patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life.
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You don't have to kill anyone.
Just swipe up. That's the catchphrase. That's the description. You don't have to kill anyone. Just swipe up.
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That's the slogan.
You don't have to kill anyone.
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So many ways to connect with
all things this paranormal life we currently also possess a surplus of wizard's blood so if you
would like a vial sent to your home or work has a surplus i have exactly the amount i need which is
zero let me know and i will express deliver a vial of blood to your house.
That's it, officer.
To whoever orders it.
I need to send out as much blood as possible so I can frame anyone who's close to me as soon as the investigation begins.
Friends, we'll be back next week with a brand new paranormal investigation.
And until then, remember to live fast, investigate, and die young.
Wizards. Thank you.