This Paranormal Life - #274 The Zanetti Train Mystery - The Train that DISAPPEARED

Episode Date: August 2, 2022

When the luxurious new Zanetti Railway opened up in 1911, passengers couldn't WAIT to get on board the train for its maiden voyage to Milan. So imagine their surprise when they arrive in the 1840's, S...EVENTY YEARS BEFORE they were even supposed to leave! This, is the great mystery of the Zanetti Train Disappearance. VOTE FOR THIS PARANORMAL LIFE IN THE IRISH PODCAST AWARDShttps://www.theirishpodcastawards.ie/vote/ Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! -  thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityAdvertise on This Paranormal Life via Gumball.fmResearch by Amy GrisdaleEdited by Giles BidderIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Can ghosts feel electricity? Is a coconut cocoa or a nut? All of these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life! Hello everyone and welcome to This Paranormal Life, the comedy paranormal podcast where every week myself, Rory Powers, and the paranormal investigator slash comedian across from me, Me! Kit Greer Malvena, tackle a new case, claim, tale, or beast and come to a conclusion at the end of the show as to whether or not it is truly paranormal. Is a coconut a cocoa?
Starting point is 00:00:39 Like a cocoa bean. A cocoa bean. Or is it a nut? Because it looks like a big peanut, a big hairy peanut. I just didn't think anyone would know what you meant when you said, is it cocoa? What's so complicated about that? It's a cocoa nut. So is it like a f***ing cashew?
Starting point is 00:00:58 It's worrying that you thought this much about it, but still haven't discovered the truth. Well, I'm just stressed. And those are the kind of big questions that we need to answer on the podcast. Coconuts are pretty big. I agree. What happened at Roswell? Is the government actually run by lizard alien men? Is hot cocoa?
Starting point is 00:01:17 I can't stress this enough. Is a coconut involved? Yeah. Do you like milk it like a cow? Does it have little nipples under the fur? We just don't know these things. We're here to answer the big questions. Welcome everyone to the podcast.
Starting point is 00:01:33 We are both back in Northern Ireland. Hey-oh, back in God's country. I just got back last night quite late after my original flight was cancelled it was a little touch and go i didn't actually know if i was going to be able to make it back for this weekend of recording it's so true yeah bit of bedlam traveling in the uk traveling globally at the moment well i originally had booked a flight out of here with british airways and we've talked about them in the past british airways you get that extra leg room. You're welcomed on board by the Sky Butlers.
Starting point is 00:02:09 Yeah, it is the airplane equivalent of like a silk glove. They serve you a little glass of wine, a little bottle of wine. And if you give them a wink. No, it's not a bottle. I think you're stealing that. If you give them a wink and a smile, you can get an extra bottle. And sometimes when their back is turned, you can get a few more bottles. There's no way. It's supposed to be one complimentary soft drink, I think. Well, I went to the airport, waited for six hours, and then BA canceled my flight.
Starting point is 00:02:34 Sure. So I had to book a flight the next day with EasyJet. I'm so sorry to hear that. I think you described it quite well on an after party episode of the show where you described flying with easy jet as being similar to being clubbed in the back of the head by a man living in the Wild West. Yeah. Who then puts a bag over your head, throws you in the back of his wagon. He takes you somewhere. It might not be where you want to end up, but you get somewhere at the end of the journey. I think I mentioned getting beaten with a sack of pennies mid-journey as well. And I think to be fair, that was Ryanair I was describing, but EasyJet is probably the same journey sans pennies.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Yeah. I asked for a little bottle of wine and they clubbed me harder. They clubbed me real hard. They waterboarded you with rotten wine. It was intense, but I made it here. Actually, shout out to EasyJet because they were one of the few airlines that actually managed to get me home. And I'm excited to be here, back in our home studio, ready to take on another paranormal tale. Hopefully a spicy one. Oh, it is a spicy one, Kit. Because even though I had some problems in the air with a plane, I might have had even worse problems if I'd gone by train. Interesting. Not because there's an ocean.
Starting point is 00:03:52 Because there is no train. You can't do it. You'd literally sink. But today we are going to investigate a paranormal case involving a train journey. We don't spend too much time on trains, but they are arguably one of the more paranormal methods of transport. Hell yeah. You kidding me, motherfucker? Hogwarts? Wait, what's the Hogwarts train called? Hogwarts Express, I think, maybe?
Starting point is 00:04:18 The fucking Wizard Railway? The platform had a memorable name, but the actual train itself, I do not remember. The Hogwarts, that's what they call like the Gatwick Express. Right. The Heathrow Express, the Hogwarts Express. Yeah, I guess because if you think that normally ghosts and ghouls hang out in haunted buildings. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:38 Trains are basically haunted houses. They're old, rickety, old, beautiful houses on wheels. Yeah, they're definitely the most romantic form of travel as well. The puff of the smoke, the thrill of the murder mystery. And of course, we are describing trains long before we were born. Oh, yeah. Not a TransLink Northern Ireland or indeed a Thameslink service. No, I once watched a man drink so many cans of beer
Starting point is 00:05:07 on a train that he vomited over his own knees. Right. And then when the train stopped, the puddle of sick shot down like when the elevator doors open in The Shining.
Starting point is 00:05:18 Was that paranormal? I guess. I also watched a group of friends push the button to open the bathroom door to reveal their friend taking a shit. Trousers around his ankles. No, that did not happen in Poirot's Murder on the Orient Express.
Starting point is 00:05:31 It truly didn't. Back in those days, people drank brandy and they smoked those cigars with the little wooden nibs on them. If the door to the toilet carriage did swing open, you would simply doth your cap, tilt and go, I'm so terribly sorry to have been caught unawares.
Starting point is 00:05:54 A man's pantaloons would be by his ankles. It's a sexy, sexy way to travel. We're talking about the type of trains that would get France's bourgeois boner. Yes. That is the type of train we're going to be talking about the type of trains that would get France's bourgeois boner. Yes, that is the type of train we're going to be talking about today. One of those sick, old romantic trains where murder mysteries happened. Our story begins on July 14th, 1911. Hell yeah, more than a few good trains kicking about. We're at Roma Termini, Rome's central railway station. Now, as I said, we're back in 1911. If you want to go a long distance, you wanted a train.
Starting point is 00:06:33 They were all the rage. And on this July 14th, things were even more exciting than usual. Visitors from all over had come to the station today to witness the launch of a brand new railway line debuted by the Zanetti Railway Company. Ooh, where's it going? This train, brother, straight to hell. There can't be a good return on investment on a railway like that.
Starting point is 00:07:00 Welcome all to the launch of the newest railway line. The fastest and most luxurious way to travel straight to Milan, fashion capital of the world. This new state-of-the-art train was a steam locomotive with three lavish carriages that would take its passengers through the breathtaking Italian countryside and straight to Milan. and straight to Milan, something that traditionally wasn't possible in the past because the distance was split by mountain ranges. But this was the exciting part. The Zanetti company had excavated a huge tunnel one kilometer long through the rock that meant that this new train could travel straight through the mountains and to its destination on the other side. Now that is customer service and that is innovation. Yeah, it's pretty hardcore, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:07:52 Just go, f*** Mother Earth, we going through you. Right. I like that mentality a lot, you know? Should we go under it? Should we go over it? No. Plow. Plow straight through. It doesn't feel very Italian in terms of mindset, but I really respect that they did this. Because as you said, presumably the only way to travel that distance previously would have been similar to EasyJet, getting a drunken peasant to beat you with a sack of pennies and carry your limp body over the mountains
Starting point is 00:08:26 yeah so to have an alternative to that is is a pretty good choice i mean you can see why this car is filled with the wealthiest little bastards in all of italy i'm assuming you know uh men and women in full suits uh little boys licking big lollipops with knee-high socks, just being like, mommy, I want to ride the train through the mountain. Little bastards, basically. Have you ever been to Milan? I've never. Or Roma?
Starting point is 00:08:54 Never in my life. Have you? I have been to both. Really? By train? Yes. Yes. Although I will attest, look, I don't want to be mean to the country, the great country of Italy.
Starting point is 00:09:09 But someone opened the bathroom door while I was trying to take a dump. The gentleman's pantalons were exposed to the elements. No one said that Italy is a bad place. No one's saying that. What are you about to say? But they did have to stop the train several times for the police to arrest thieves who were just wandering the carriages. Really? They were robbing people.
Starting point is 00:09:38 Like robbing them in like a discreet little sexy way or like a gun? Me and my friends were in a carriage, which was pretty old style. It was like the double doors and you're in a Hogwarts Express style. Yeah. Harry Potter, I'll take the lot, please, style carriage. And we were kind of, we were super exhausted. So we were taking it in turns to kind of sleep. And good thing we did.
Starting point is 00:10:01 Taking it in turns to sleep? to sleep and good thing we did he turns to sleep because every 30 seconds a guy with a scar through his eye would just like press his face against the glass look in and borderline run his thumb against his neck saying you're next uh and they kept having to stop the train so it was a little bit threatening but we but we eventually got toano, the most beautiful fashion city on earth. So, you know, can't be all bad. I love that you thought you were going to get this luxurious European train through the countryside. And you basically got a train from f***ing Red Dead Redemption. And there are cowboys out the window with bandana masks, lassoing strangers off of the train.
Starting point is 00:10:46 Honky tonk piano playing from nowhere. The conductor's like, here, you're going to need this, son. Hand you a loaded Smith and Western. You're about to come over them there hills. Aim and fire, boy. You are Italian. And then whenever we, this is a side note but whenever we got there you know i remember someone asking me it's like you know what was the food like italian food famously
Starting point is 00:11:10 beautiful and i was like yeah man we went to this one spot it was awesome you paid like pennies and you could just have as much soup as you want it was like all these different types of soup um and bread and then someone informed me that you were just at a homeless soup kitchen wait is that real i don't know man in my mind it was uh to this day the first and last soup restaurant i've ever been to it could have been a soup kitchen i don't know it was sick man they gave you free coats uh some brochures on places to spend the night. You could throw pennies into this fountain and drink as much fountain water as you wanted.
Starting point is 00:11:50 That was just a fountain. You were just at the traffic fountain. Okay, well, this is very different than the experience you had on your Italian trains. As I said, this is supposed to be like high-end travel. This is like first class on the airline. All aboard! The Zanetti passengers boarded from the platform and found their seats, reclining in comfort as the big wheels started turning.
Starting point is 00:12:18 The train glided through the Italian countryside, chugging northwest, away from the capital. And by all accounts, the journey was nothing short of exquisite. Guests were serenaded by roaming violinists wandering up and down the carriages. Wow, now this is high class. Those on board were offered top quality cuisine and expensive snacks from around the world. Hell yeah, as much soup as you want. They were offered the finest champagne in elegant flutes. Things were going just as planned.
Starting point is 00:12:55 Hours passed as the train approached its final destination, the beautiful region of Lombardy. What? I'm not even joking. They are heading towards the Lombardi region of Italy. If you're new to this paranormal life, Lombardi is where the liquid of the dead comes from. It is a drink that Kit and I... Patented. We patent, we made it, we sold it for a while.
Starting point is 00:13:17 There were some lawsuits. I don't know why we're getting into it, to be honest. We shouldn't. Because every time we mention the damn thing, another lawsuit pops out of nowhere. We're under a lot of NDAs, which is, you're right, we should probably not talk about it. But if there are still any bottles out there, don't drink it. That's all we can say under NDA, is just don't drink it. The only stretch left in the journey was, of course, the newly built tunnel leading straight through the mountains.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Locals in the nearby town were so excited to see this new tunnel in action that they headed to the exit to watch as the beautiful new train emerged out of the other side. Is that the tunnel? Yes, that's the exit right there. Wow, what time is it now? Two minutes past five. She's running late. All that the glitz and the glam and she can't even run on time. Maybe the conductors had too much champagne. The locals continued to watch the tunnel, waiting for the Zanetti train to arrive.
Starting point is 00:14:23 But it never came. What felt like an hour had passed and still, nothing had come out the other side. How was it not arrived yet? I don't like this. Something must have gone wrong. I'm calling the authorities. The locals called the police, explaining the situation, and before long, the chief of the police and a rescue team had arrived at the site.
Starting point is 00:14:47 At this point, the train should have definitely come through the tunnel. But still, there wasn't even a sound coming from the darkness. So the men fired up their torches and headed inside. That's a dangerous move, heading into the ass end of a tunnel that you think a train went in. But hasn't emerged from yet. Yeah. Also, brand new tunnel. Right.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Yeah. Why? What? I like my tunnels proven. Okay. Roadworthy. I like my tunnels to have, you know, at least notched a couple decades of you know not collapsing yeah if a tunnel is like a few days old you know how am i to know that a boulder
Starting point is 00:15:33 isn't gonna cartoonishly land on either side blocking me in forever it's it's very true yeah i mean this is a ballsy move to go in i assume so much time has passed at this point that they're like, all right, something has, it's not five minutes late anymore. Yeah, they need help. It's been hours. Judy calls. Yeah. There is a certain element to this that's kind of like,
Starting point is 00:15:54 huh, my gun won't fire. Let me just look down the barrel and see if it's stuck. Yeah. It's a dangerous game you're playing. Agreed. The police shuffled down into the tunnel with their torches, the anticipation growing with each step. As they walked, a pinprick of light became visible in the distance. Was it the Zanetti train barreling towards them?
Starting point is 00:16:17 Maybe it was the flaming wreckage of a disastrous crash. The men cautiously edged forward to discover... They had emerged out the other side. What? They had walked the entire length of the tunnel. There was no train to be seen. All right, either these guys blinked at the exact moment, collectively, that the train passed them by,
Starting point is 00:16:44 or something else has gone wrong here. This is just a fancy train. It's not a quiet train. I'm assuming this is still a roaring steam locomotive. Tesla of trains. Yeah, you would know if this thing had passed by you. So, I mean, at this point, what really are the options? I don't know a lot about trains, but if you'll pardon the pun, I'm pretty sure they got a pretty one track mind.
Starting point is 00:17:05 Right. It's front or back. Yeah, they're not exactly going off the rails and thinking, hey, well, I wonder what's over there. They pretty much can only go in one or two directions. Until they do go off the rails. That does happen sometimes. Well, that's option number two. The train did go off the rails and they're going to find basically a smoldering pile of melted bodies. So the group of men started following the tracks further up the line, fearing that at some point that they would come across the flaming wreckage of the Zanetti train. But still, there was nothing.
Starting point is 00:17:41 No sign of a crash. Or so they thought. That's when they heard a faint moaning coming from the bushes by the railway line. The police ran over to investigate, and there on the ground was a finely dressed middle-aged man and woman, torn up and battered in the bushes. Jesus. There was no mistake. These were passengers from the train.
Starting point is 00:18:08 Madam, madam, can you hear me? Stand back, give them some room. But it was no good. The couple collapsed to the floor. It would be several days before they had regained enough strength to explain what had happened to them. And as they did, the police stared in wonder as they listened to the wildest story they'd ever heard. That's got to be frustrating. You know,
Starting point is 00:18:32 you want these people to heal. You want them to be comfortable and safe. You also want to find out where all the goddamn people went. Yeah. Yeah. Because we could be losing more literally by the hour. Like, oh, I'm just so weak. I feel like I need more rest. I'm so tired. Yeah, of course. Here's a glass of water. Just anything, though, you could tell us about the crash.
Starting point is 00:18:57 I grow weary. Please, let me rest. No, because me and Lieutenant Jenkins here actually, I know you're not sleeping because your eyes are open. What? You're just making the noises with your mouth. I'm sleeping. Did the train depart from the station, sir? If you're not going to leave me alone, at least get me a snack.
Starting point is 00:19:15 All right, what do you want? Maybe a steak and chips. A steak and chips? We're in a hospital. Maybe a jog of my memory. I think I can get you a bag of f***ing Doritos and a carton of milk. You get me? Take a chips and tell me what you want to know. All right.
Starting point is 00:19:29 The radio just called. We found the train. Yeah, it never left. Oh, I'm actually feeling okay. Now you mentioned. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to go. This is when the doctor comes in.
Starting point is 00:19:39 He's not even hurt, by the way. We ran all the tests. He's fine. We've never seen a man in more perfect health i think you guys just gave a piggyback to a homeless man all the way to the hospital no the story is i'm gonna i'm gonna choose my words carefully because i know that like kids listen to this they do episode and they do the story's f***ing f***ed up. Okay.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Do you know why I had to swear there? Because that's how f***ed up the story is. I can't do it. It would be a disservice to call it weird or kooky. Because it's not kooky. It's all f***ed. Okay. There's more adjectives that are out there.
Starting point is 00:20:19 Ass blast. There's no way that that's the most descriptive terminology for this story. It's a mind shag. That's not good. It's wild, dude. It's an ass blast mind shag. I don't know what you said, wild, which is not a swear, but I don't mean wild. I mean f***ed.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Sorry, I'm just getting worked up. It's just the children are damaged now because you swore a lot and you told them a lot of bad words. Kids, listen up. It's a mind shag. No, don't listen to this. This week's episode is a mind shag. It really is. Let's shag our minds all the way back to July 14th.
Starting point is 00:20:56 Inappropriate. Of course inappropriate. This couple had been on board the Zanetti Express to Milan. They were enjoying their journey. A wave of excitement swept down the carriage as the record-breaking tunnel came into view around the corner ahead. The passengers were excited to cruise through a mountain and pop out the other side like nothing had happened. But as the train drew closer to the tunnel, it began to hum. It was as if the metal in the tracks was vibrating. People started to panic, looking around the carriages trying to understand what was going on.
Starting point is 00:21:32 And then... What's that? Passengers turned quickly to see an elderly woman in a window seat, face pressed up against the glass. Others joined her at the window to see what looked like a thick white fog billowing around the train. That's not good. The entire locomotive was enveloped in a vortex of white smoke. It was as if the entire train was on fire. This is worrying because this son of a bitch is a steam train that's the whole thing is that there's steam coming out of the mother so if there's a bad amount of steam right it's got to be something really unusual which when you think about it is pretty dangerous it's like having a mode of public
Starting point is 00:22:19 transport which is like this thing's basically a grenade on wheels. We're going to just have the fuse light at just the right rate that the whole thing doesn't blow up, but we can assure you it's very safe and it's very leisurely. Oh, but you are loading flammable material into a fire in order for this thing to chug along. Oh, we are. Oh, we are. Yeah, the whole way this thing goes is by us dancing with fate.
Starting point is 00:22:45 We are literally rolling the dice every time we put a spoonful of coal in the oven. The driver is also juggling knives. And if he so much as twitches, the whole thing runs off the rails. Yeah, it's worrying to have the biggest threat to your mode of transport which is a huge fire be the way that your transport runs sure that's like having a boat that's like yeah it runs pretty well keep an eye on it though because if it gets too wet it goes down it's like what you mean if it gets too wet that's the whole thing that's how boats work i don't know if you've looked around captain but there's a lot of wet which i guess is right that's how boats go. I don't know if you've looked around, Captain, but there's a lot of wet.
Starting point is 00:23:26 Which I guess is right. That's how boats go down is too much wet. Right? Like they can't fucking... Well, that's not what happened to Titanic. The Titanic got rinsed. Not rinsed. That was a bad choice of words. Because I would infer it was just wet.
Starting point is 00:23:40 Although interesting that we do use that terminology saying you got rinsed, which would infer you just got too wet. It's true. But as we said, for these people to be freaking out over smoke, it's got to be something nuts. At this point, the carriages were shaking left to right violently. A man at the back of the rear carriage sprinted towards the exit door, pushing it open. He then grabbed the hand of his wife and they leapt from the moving train,
Starting point is 00:24:07 slamming into the ground and rolling into the bushes. Gotta appreciate that Liam Neeson shit. Just like not waiting for the bad thing to happen. Just jumping at the first signs. Going for it. Yeah, that could have just been the train going into the tunnel and he's like, time to fly, sweetheart. And he leaps out straight into a cactus patch.
Starting point is 00:24:29 Yeah, they were 300 meters from the station that they left. They watched from the bushes. The train was still visible ahead, cloaked in what looked like a strange cloud. It also looked like it was trying to stop, but the first carriage had already entered the tunnel. The couple watched as the smoke enveloped the train and it disappeared into the darkness. And that was the last time anyone saw the Zanetti train. They had to wait three days for that explanation? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:59 I mean... Get the man who's taking chips and jogs, he's got a damn memory. There must have been something else. Well, it's pretty insane. I mean, I think I'm doing a bit of a disservice by saying they saw a bit of smoke. No, I agree. To be clear, everything that was described should not have happened. Yeah. It sounds like we're not talking about the steam from the engine.
Starting point is 00:25:22 We are talking about a paranormal fog. Of course. Enveloping this craft, shaking it left to right. I'm assuming alarms are going off. The violinists are jumping ship. Everything short of the goddamn Green Goober or whatever he was called from Ghostbusters showing up in front of the train. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:41 The little floaty man. What was his name? Slimer? Wouldn't you call him goober the green goober the green goober that's the action figure you get at a gas station for 99 cents pretty crazy stuff right yeah nuts not what i mean you want a refund don't you at the very least we don't know where these people have gone yet but you paid for a luxury travel experience it's such a weird story because now you at least have witnesses who were on the train who can testify that it went into the tunnel
Starting point is 00:26:13 and it never came out the police were hoping that there was something to explain the fact that it never even got to the tunnel yeah but. But no. They waited three days to hear that. And they're like, oh my God. So we got to search the tunnel again, to be clear. Yeah, we were like looking around the entrance and exits trying to see if there's anywhere it could have gone off the rails. You're saying a wizard attacked your train?
Starting point is 00:26:39 Great. Thank you. Thank you very much. I find this so funny. It's almost as if Zanetti, like, I know they were trying to make the most luxurious futuristic train. Maybe they went a little too far. Maybe someone should have kept an eye on that engineer who was like, yeah, I can build you a train. All right.
Starting point is 00:26:59 Like, cool. We wanted to go through through the mountain. Oh, yeah. Straight through. No tunnel needed. I don't know what you're talking about, but we're going to build a tunnel. Just to be clear. All right.
Starting point is 00:27:08 All right. But I got it. Futuristic train. The most futuristic vehicle in the world. Violinist in every carriage. The finest champagne. Oh, yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:17 I feel like we're back on the same page. Instead of coal, perhaps it's powered by fear itself. You lost me after the champagne for all the voyagers what did you just say fear fear were power this locomotive we don't want there to be even if that were how the engine worked which sure would be economical we don't want there to be an abundance of fear in the carriage make it run on champagne if you can make it run on anything make it run on champagne or something and sure we'll build your rails, but you ain't going to need them. Not with this railway.
Starting point is 00:27:49 Okay, can we get another engineer in here? I'm not sure who this guy is. I'm starting to think Doc Brown was the head engineer behind this shit. They typed in a date instead of a destination. The wheels started spinning. Smoke started coming out of the ground. And then that thing disappeared. Like, wasn't that literally what happened in the movie?
Starting point is 00:28:10 Like, they would drive towards, like, a wall and it would disappear, like, the moment before it hit. Same thing happened here, but it was just right before it hit the tunnel. Yeah, yeah. They almost hit some sort of time slip or, like, they slipped into another dimension and the train just zipped out
Starting point is 00:28:25 of existence nice uh nice old episode reference when we did time slips and i don't want to give anything away but that is one of the theories about what happened to the zanetti train jesus christ because i mean what else is that's a bad explanation i mean i i hosted the episode of time slips if that's the leading call like at least in the episode about time slips i'm pretty sure it was a few petty thieves and drunkards who claimed to have slipped into another year we lost hundreds of people and and and a a world record-setting multi-million. Yeah. That's a hard thing to explain, isn't it? You know, when like, when all the loved ones of the passengers are waiting in Milan for the train to arrive and they're like, is it, is it delayed? Like, is it going to be here soon?
Starting point is 00:29:17 It's going to be somewhere soon. It could be Milan. It could be planet Schmorgan. It is gone. Yeah, if the loved ones are asking for answers and you go, you know, Einstein said that time and matter are really one. What? That's not a good response.
Starting point is 00:29:37 And sometimes the waves overlap in a way that means we don't know where the f*** they are. Now, it's interesting to note that the Zanetti tunnel itself that was used on that railway was blocked off during World War II and is now completely disused. But I mean, it's not like they were trying to hide off the truth. Men searched that tunnel front to back and there was not even a sign that the train had even gone through it which is super weird as we've said as we pointed out this is not an easy thing to lose we're not talking about a disappearing mobile phone a disappearing teddy bear we're talking about a disappearing three carriage long multi-ton hunk of metal with lots of people on board yeah um we're not talking about kit's italian train journey where things disappeared but in the
Starting point is 00:30:33 hands of many many thieves not through some sure they said it was a time slip when they were caught by the police but uh it was really not a paranormal cause. And that small child did steal my phone on that trip, and I don't want to relive the memory, and that's not a joke. This is, in a weird way, the greatest train heist of all time. They stole the train!
Starting point is 00:30:55 Right. It's in some Ocean's Eleven shit. It's like doing a bank heist where you just up and take the bank. Like, the employees and everyone inside. Cut out the plans in the middle, man. Yeah. It's pretty hardcore.
Starting point is 00:31:11 Believe it or not, we are only at the halfway point of this story. When I said that nobody ever saw the Zanetti train again, technically, that might not have been the truth. You lied to me. The train wasn't seen again in Italy, but it was seen again. Sorry, you have a problem? Oh, Planet Gishmorgan. Not Planet Gishmorgan. It was seen again in...
Starting point is 00:31:35 I'm just laughing because we've... Take this seriously. Because we've referenced Planet Gishmorgan before, but it's definitely made up. But it's definitely also been mentioned in many episodes. Oh, like Zongtar the alien. I think that's where he's from. But it was seen again in Ukraine. What?
Starting point is 00:31:53 On October 29th, 1955, Pitor Estimenko, the signalman at a local railway, spotted a train approaching in the distance. Strange. One definitely wasn't scheduled to pass by at this time. And Peter claims to have witnessed an old-fashioned, three-car train gliding along the rails in complete silence. A ghost train. He said that it had its shades down, so he couldn't tell if anyone was on board. But smoke was billowing from the engine, even though it wasn't making a sound.
Starting point is 00:32:30 Holy crap. It sounds like, what is this, 40 years later? 44 years later. This man claims to have seen the train zip in and out of existence along his railway. I don't know geography. I don't know geography. I don't know if this is technically possible. It's all Europe. Well, I don't think it's technically possible for that train to be going for 44 years
Starting point is 00:32:55 just around different tracks until it happened to pass by Ukraine. Why not? I think a lot of passengers would be dead. I think the conductor might be dead. The blinds are done. They might be dead. I mean, the fact that this thing isn't making a noise. I mean, are we talking about a ghost train?
Starting point is 00:33:11 Are we talking about some weird f***ed up spectral glimpse of a time slip phenomenon? Or did Peter have an out of date sausage for lunch? Sure, you know he loved them.
Starting point is 00:33:27 I don't know. Believe it or not, the same train was spotted in Crimea, but this time, travelling along non-existent rails. Okay, now we're definitely talking about either a ghost train or a time slip whatever you said. Well, this will help answer the question because according to locals, the train was real enough that it blasted through a flock of chickens, crushing a bunch of them.
Starting point is 00:33:53 Okay, I'm confused. Right? But, you know, as I said, I was fine with this thing being in Ukraine 44 years later, as long as it was on tracks. But to be not on tracks anymore, this is where I truly draw the line. Well, I keep as well... Like, at this point, it could just be in the sky, like f***ing Santa Claus and his reindeers.
Starting point is 00:34:15 It keeps almost having an explanation, and then jumping to the other side. It's like, oh, so it's a ghost train. It's like, no, it was on the rails. Oh, okay, so it was, like, an actual train. Not this's like no it was on the rails oh okay so it was like an actual train not this time it wasn't on the rails this time it's like okay so that was like a no it killed a chicken okay straight up killed a chicken uh it's really bizarre um so this is interesting now why would because crimea to my understanding, sadly, we all now know a lot about this area due to the Ukraine war.
Starting point is 00:34:50 This is all one part of the world. Why have we jumped from Italy to Ukraine and Crimea? And I mean, these places, I mean, geographically, they're not. Right. It's not two different continents but it might as well be yeah you're not getting trains i don't think doing that journey not one train i mean yeah logically this doesn't make any sense and i mean to throw another wrench into the machine it was also one-sided in the channel tunnel between england and france all right well that doesn't make a damn bit of sense it was was even seen in Chernobyl before the nuclear disaster. What?
Starting point is 00:35:29 Is Mothman piloting this thing around Europe? Oh, my God. These people are having the ride of their lives. Mothman got tired flying, and he was just riding the Zanetti up the Channel Tunnel. He's like, I've got to tell Boris Johnson about a potential terrorist attack that's about to take place in London.
Starting point is 00:35:52 Can you imagine hopping on that train thinking you're going to have a leisurely little journey to Milan? And I said, you know, you're in f***ing Chernobyl. Nuclear blast chasing you down the rails. Boom, you just hit a chicken. Where are you now? Ukraine, you're f***ing blasting through dimensions. You're in hell.
Starting point is 00:36:14 You are in hell, to be clear. This is some kind of hell machine that is operating on our plane. Those passengers did some bad s***. Like, maybe this is what happens when enough bad people just get concentrated in one location. The devil is just like, we can just get started while they're still alive, by the way. Yeah. Just get started with the punishment. I could do like a hundred birds with one stone.
Starting point is 00:36:41 Just let me zap that train straight to the f***ing hell dimension and it'll save us a lot of time. Like, I'm be. Like I'm sure during the Second World War at some point, like Hitler and all his buddies were in like one car together and the devil was like talking to God like, I can just take them now. Like if we're cool, if we're all on the same page, I'll just take them now. I like to think that the devil has like a sniper rifle and he's like, I have all four heads lined up right now.
Starting point is 00:37:03 I could take out Hitler. I could take out his war generals. I really i could take this now and god's like that's not how i do things i for some reason let them do a bunch of horrible shit and then and then i give them to you the devil the devil puts away his rifle he's like you know you're pretty up to god i don't question your methods and far be it from me but sometimes i wonder if you're really the bad guy because for some reason it's me done you i wonder if you're really the bad guy because for some reason it's me done you're actually punishing them i'm trying to save people up there for some reason i just let them do what they want until they die of natural causes this is this is
Starting point is 00:37:39 insane i mean look we talked about i believe we talked about someone in a previous case who essentially walked into a time slip where he turned a corner. I believe it was in the UK, right? He turned the corner and he was on the same street, but like 60 years ago or something like that. Yeah, he was, you know, in retrospect, somehow conveniently was getting chased by a Bobby down the street because he had committed several crimes and then claimed to have slipped out of that dimension into a different time period. Yeah. Well, I mean, if that's what happened to him when he just walked into a time slip, what happens when you blast into one at a hundred miles per hour? You're going to go a few different places. You're're gonna get yeeted across a couple timelines. Now I know that you think this can't possibly keep getting crazier, but the train was not
Starting point is 00:38:30 only spotted across the world, but Kit, it was also spotted in the past. I was wondering where you were going with this. Space? But okay, no, the past. After the train's bizarre- What do you mean? I'm trying to explain it. Okay, sorry.
Starting point is 00:38:48 After the train's bizarre disappearance in 1911, local historians came across an incredible discovery. While researching the writings of medieval monks of Modena... There's no way. ...whose monastery... I'm going to shut this down. ...whose monastery was smack bang between Rome and Milan They discovered writings about quote
Starting point is 00:39:11 A metal chariot of Satan That shot black smoke in the sky That was followed by three smaller chariots And they traveled along the ground like an enormous serpent. And inside the serpent was a little cart where a demon would sell you peanuts and play the violin. What the f*** are you talking about? Is it so crazy to think that this train hit some sort of f***ing black hole and didn't just slip through the dimensions of the world, but slipped through time itself?
Starting point is 00:39:54 Possibly going backwards and forwards through some sort of wacky wormhole. And people are just witnessing almost like the shadowy reflection of this train passing by from another dimension. Jeez, there's a lot to unpack here. We talked about what was that boat that they tried to turn invisible? The Philadelphia experiment. The Philadelphia experiment where I think they tried to create a cloaking device to mask an entire boat. I think they tried to create a cloaking device to mask an entire boat, and it ended up sending the boat through several dimensions and fusing men to the ship.
Starting point is 00:40:32 Yeah, yeah. Could we be looking at something similar here? That was a double yes, right? That episode? Absolutely not. Listen, I wasn't expecting to end up in a time travel debate here, but it is true that in previous episodes where we have had to debate the existence of time travel, you open up a whole kettle of fish where to find the smoking gun, we have to now look through all of history books to which, let's face it,
Starting point is 00:41:01 the history books only go back like a thousand, two thousand years max. And humans have been around here for a quarter million years and earth has been around here for like 14 billion years or whatever this thing could be
Starting point is 00:41:12 at the big bang just chew chewing right through a black hole we need to look out for constellations in the night sky that look like
Starting point is 00:41:21 locomotive steam puffs we need to see if there are ancient Egyptian pyramids dedicated to the train conductor. I know what you mean, though. This is basically, I didn't even think about this when I was investigating the case, but a lot of this is basically the plot to Back to the Future 2 and 3. Sure. Where when the DeLorean is struck by a bolt of lightning it
Starting point is 00:41:47 it disappears from existence and marty is like whoa what the f**k like where how am i supposed to know where doc went in the delorean and then immediately a minute later marty gets handed a letter that was like yo we've had this letter for f***ing 200 years. It's a letter to be delivered to him immediately after Doc went back in time to the Wild West. Yeah. You know? So what we're seeing here is that-
Starting point is 00:42:13 It changed the timeline when this thing disappeared. Yeah. All of a sudden, the train zips back, possibly through time. Now all of a sudden, you're like,
Starting point is 00:42:21 people in the past wrote a lot of stories about a giant mechanical serpent that puffs steam all we know is they shouldn't have drilled that hole in the mountain i don't know what that mountain's deal is but i'm starting to think if they had just gone around it everything would be kushti yeah i think it was probably a good idea that they just patch that shit over i'm starting to understand why yeah, blew it up in the war or whatever. Now, yet again, there are more layers to this crazy tale. In the 1840s, f***ing hell.
Starting point is 00:42:56 So still back in time, to be clear. Still back in time. I'm sorry, I forgot how crazy this story is. I'm sorry. I forgot how crazy this story is. In the 1840s, a psychiatrist called Jose Saxino was working in Mexico City. He was assigned to a new batch of patients from another country the authorities had detained for acting suspiciously. These confused and disorientated patients all told the doctor the same thing. There is no way.
Starting point is 00:43:28 If you're about to say what we all think you're about to say, this story is verifiably not true. They said that they had arrived in Mexico by train and they'd left from Rome. And they were confused. If these were the passengers of the Zanetti train, they had just arrived in Mexico 70 years before they were due to disappear. How's that for a mind shag?
Starting point is 00:43:57 You made this up. I didn't make this up. I hate to, after this many years of doing the podcast, finally accuse you of lying. No, absolutely not. Sure, the ancient writings of the medieval monks of Medina is quite hard to get your hands on. Apparently it's archived somewhere. Some people say it doesn't exist.
Starting point is 00:44:14 Specifically on crystalinks.org. Jose Saxino, don't know if there's any records of him ever existing, or his 100 Italian patients who ended up in Mexico. But these are all a hundred patients, a hundred and four patients. And he saw all of them and they all said the same thing. They all said, Mamma Mia, here we go again. And then they disappeared into thin air. Let's talk about, let's talk theories.
Starting point is 00:44:41 into thin air. Let's talk about, let's talk theories. Look, I should have started the episode with a warning that this story was knocking futz, okay? But hey, is this not an incredible,
Starting point is 00:44:58 if not unbelievable, paranormal tale? This is the next Christopher Nolan movie. Look, I will say, sure, sounds unbelievable. Sure,
Starting point is 00:45:08 it's hard to track down a lot of the records of some of the shit that we've talked about today. But... Sure, it seems like psychiatrist Jose was made up
Starting point is 00:45:18 purely as a fictional narrative device to prove the rest of the story. Of course. But I will say that I'm not going to go as far to say that this is on the same level as a creepypasta or an internet story or a legend. I mean,
Starting point is 00:45:34 the tunnel is real. It's blocked off to this day. It was used. Allegedly, there was a Zanetti train that apparently was shut down at some point. I mean... What? That's all different. Well, no, I'm saying like those are the records you can find. But the stories are built around them. Zanetti train existed at one point and it was shut down. I'm sorry. We've been listening to this story. We've been quite patient as an audience.
Starting point is 00:46:02 You're getting so worked up. You're talking like Smeagol. You're like, we've been very patient. We've been quite patient as an audience. You're getting so worked up. You're talking like Smeagol. You're like, we've been very patient. We've been sitting here. We've been listening. It's like, you gotta calm down, dude. Look, I encourage people
Starting point is 00:46:17 if they're interested in this story, to look it up online. There's a lot of it to read about. I'm having to choose my words very carefully. But it is, it's out there. It's on a ton of websites. I have even left out a bunch of even of the wilder claims. This is the tame shit.
Starting point is 00:46:37 You don't want to know. I'm not even joking with you. Originally in this script, there was a whole section about a skull that was being transported on the train. And that apparently was one of the reasons why it slipped into the time world. There's something so funny about imagining just this train setting off and everyone being like real upbeat and on the same page, just about like enjoying the luxury of train travel across Europe. And then there's just one Indiana Jones villain looking motherfucker in the corner of the train, clearly hiding a glowing skull under a cloth. That's how all those train journeys go though, right? It's like three really fancy carriages.
Starting point is 00:47:16 And then there's one right at the back that you open and it's like someone is tied to a chair. Sure. And getting punched and asked a bunch of questions. There's some shady shit going down. When there's rich people involved, there's always some shady shit going down. 100%. Look, we've covered the entirety of the story. We've talked about not even the history of this train, but the future and the past of this train. It's time to talk about theories. The main theory here and the real only explanation that we it's time to talk about theories. The main theory here, and the real only explanation that we have, if something like this did actually take place, is that the train entered into some sort of time slip or some sort of portal where for possibly a
Starting point is 00:47:58 split second, for a brief moment, it managed to escape our world or our universe and essentially ricochet through time and space before ending up God knows where. And humans got glimpses of this train in the past and the future before, I guess it just disappeared out of existence straight to hell possibly. All right. Theory number one. Sure. Would you want to, like, talk about it or dissect it or anything? No, I feel like I want to hear the other theory before we debate anything. Well, I think it's just like the other one is not that fun to talk about. So it's like let's talk about the crazy one. I think I want to hear it.
Starting point is 00:48:36 What if, like, there are numbers everywhere in the world and we can't see them? Ones and zeros, ones and zeros. And, like, but between the ones and zeros, there's like a fucking seven. No, this is just talking about the first one. Maybe there's like a seven or like a goddamn shit emoji. I think you're not equipped
Starting point is 00:48:52 to discuss this theory. The train clipped out of our world. It clipped out and went off of the rails, so to speak, but not the physical rails of the train, but the metaphysical rails of our own human
Starting point is 00:49:06 comprehension you're just saying the same theory again because i refuse to discuss it with you i really wish you would i really wish you would at least just like chat about it or something because that's kind of like i was kind of hoping we'd have this back and forth and we could talk a little bit about like you've talked about you're trying to delay the inevitable discussing the next theory so hard like it's fine like if if the two theories are as good as each other it'll hold up it'll be fine uh theory number two you know let's go you know actually i could probably add another theory in before number two which is that like the train just went f***ing, if you'll pardon the pun, locomotive.
Starting point is 00:49:48 It went bananas. It seems like it's a lot like the first theory. No, it's so different. But if this train clipped, if it clipped out of the f***ing world. So to paraphrase you, if the world is made of ones and zeros and threes, it hit a seven.
Starting point is 00:50:05 Seven, or like, as I said, like a poop emoji. And then I guess the last theory is that the train never existed and it's a lie. But let's not dwell on that one. Let's not dwell on the last theory. So I'm just concerned because you did mention that it's like less of a theory and more of just yeah you mentioned the truth i don't remember saying that you said that i don't think seconds ago i mean it's hard to even like maybe you thought i said that but maybe in this world my mind ones and zeros i hit a seven or a poop emoji all of a sudden i'm podcasting in ukraine for five minutes that I'm podcasting at Chernobyl.
Starting point is 00:50:47 Those are the two explanations. Some people say, hey, if this train really did do all this crazy shit that people claimed that there was some sort of time slip and others who are skeptical say maybe the claims were exaggerated. There was a Zanetti railway.
Starting point is 00:51:02 There was a line that went through the mountain. The tunnel exists. That is the bare minimum that I would hope would be. There was a Zanetti railway. There was a line that went through the mountain. The tunnel exists. That is the bare minimum that I would hope would be existing in the story. A lot of the backstory and the setting is there, I will say. A lot of the setting, sure. Yeah. The country of Italy.
Starting point is 00:51:18 It's a real place. A real place. It's like someone telling you that they saw a unicorn. And you hear the story And the hooves are there The horse is there But not on a unicorn All we're missing is the f***ing spike Which is such a little thing to miss
Starting point is 00:51:37 It's the main thing But the rest of the story is there So I'm starting to think that you brought up the Philadelphia experiment Not because as you Incorrectly, that was a double yes, right? But you subconsciously brought it up because another famous paranormal tale repeated over the internet ad infinitum. Not a real word. But yet. Made that up to try and confuse me. At the end of our investigation of which we decided the boat never existed. I wish you would time slip. I wish you would time slip far away.
Starting point is 00:52:13 Just because I'm not handing you a double yes on a platter. Look, did this story blast into a tunnel and not come out the other side? Sure, it did, kind of. We're here looking for conclusions and uh-oh, we searched the tunnel from top to bottom. We can't find shit all. Kit and I jumped from the story and we landed in the bushes. But yet we have to conclude today. I know it's a confusing story, but let me tell you, it's a f***ing story. Oh, let me give a little shout out to the people
Starting point is 00:52:45 who recommended this one apologies if you recommended it on emails i actually got it from the facebook uh page this paranormal life secret society on facebook um shout out to russell wicks and rowdy moore who actually posted it as a suggestion in 2019. Thank you to M. Zanetti, who actually shouted this one out in 1865. 70 years before the train actually disappeared. Yeah, look, there's no point in dancing around it anymore. Kit, let's talk about it. Let's talk it through. Let's get to our conclusions. Needless to say, of course, a tantalizing and very fun story,
Starting point is 00:53:34 the setting of which is very exciting and fun. But maybe it's suspiciously so. Maybe it's too tantalizing. Maybe it has all the hallmarks of a slightly fabricated story. We do cover these all the time. A story that is so fantastic and yet at the very end, all we are left with the two possibilities and then a gaping wide chasm in between. But the two possibilities are it either all happened
Starting point is 00:53:58 exactly as we described it and there's no evidence for it or the laws of physics are still the way you remember them. And this is just a made up story. Yeah. It's kind of a story that is a victim of its own insanity, where if we had just focused on a train that went into a tunnel and disappeared in a cloud of smoke, that's pretty cool. That's pretty mysterious. That alone is a case worth investigating. And you'd probably have an easier time trying to break down the explanations of that story. Instead, though, what we have is all these extra levels.
Starting point is 00:54:36 The train appearing in ghost form, killing chickens. The passengers appearing in a country 70 years before the train even departed. It's so outlandish that it feels like a campfire story that's been passed around for years. And every year someone adds their own level to the end of it. Yeah. And now we've got this really insane convoluted story where ancient monks are talking about seeing the train, a train train like a giant snake.
Starting point is 00:55:06 It's pretty bizarre. Like we're literally one step away from me showing you an Egyptian hieroglyphic of a steam locomotive. A place we've been many times before in this paranormal life. We do not care to repeat. We don't need to go back again. We've seen the black helicopters carved into the walls of the ancient pyramids. It's bullshit. So I don't
Starting point is 00:55:27 know. I don't think we really need to entertain this one for too long. It's a great story. I had a lot of fun telling it. Hopefully you guys had a lot of fun learning about it. As I said, there are some parts of this story that are in stone and really interesting to read about. There's also some wilder parts. As I said, the skull, for example, things get a little off the rails. But hey, what a great story. Unfortunately for me, it is going to be a no this week. It is a no on this side too. Damn. But thank you to Amy Grisdale for researching this week's episode. Thank you. Guys, thank you so much for joining us. As I said, for this week's episode of this paranormal life did you know
Starting point is 00:56:05 that we have our own train an elusive and exclusive train for it's a monorail really that goes around the commune um it's really just it just circles the the high tar um and we uh lob just tomatoes and rocks at the peasants so i was actually I was gonna do I was doing like a metaphor I was gonna be like we have a train it's called the Patreon Express and it's only five dollars for a ticket
Starting point is 00:56:31 I wasn't talking about the actual train that we have in our cult commune in the commune I wasn't gonna talk about that one probably should even
Starting point is 00:56:41 mention that one I think about it might go back yeah that kind of derailed my plug speaking of derailing uh once again the commune train many times straight off the rails uh we really did not put a lot of work into that thing it actually comes off the rail so much it's basically just a motorized slingshot um yeah yeah so we're getting distracted no sorry
Starting point is 00:57:03 patreon is what we're here to talk about. The Patreon Express. We're talking about bonus content, over 50 extra episodes of this paranormal life. And that's only the tip of the iceberg because you will also get every Friday, a brand new episode of the after party. That's when Kit and I put down the paranormal research, get blackout drunk and talk about everything behind the scenes of this podcast. And sure, a lot of times we just go straight back to the paranormal. Yeah, because there's a lot of paranormal shit to cover and it's actually a big part of our lives. And other times we just talk about moths and all of the moths that are taking over my apartment.
Starting point is 00:57:45 It's actually a real problem. find out more on the after party but there's also a ton of other amazing rewards that you can get we have our own merchandise in the form of a paranormal coin made of real gold and silver yeah it's every time we say it but but it is true. It really is. A beautiful collector's commemorative coin, this Paranormal Life Knight of the Commune coin. If you want to become a knight in this year's Commune, you can do it for a set fee. That's how this world works. But I think, you know what my favorite tier is, Kit? Go on then. my favorite rewards is the fact that on our $20 tier and up, you get a free ticket to our monthly This Paranormal Life raffle, where you can get shit that we've actually used, talked about,
Starting point is 00:58:34 or investigated on the podcast. We wanted to do a fun little attaboy, a fun little perk for those of you who are supporting us on the higher tiers just to make it extra worth your while that uh for every month you hang around there on that tier you are automatically entered into said competition it's true last month we gave away the actual cursed doll that we used on i think it was our christmas, something really, it was a real special episode. Sure. And this month we have another amazing prize to give away in the raffle. This is a cool one for longtime listeners of this paranormal life or for new listeners that have gone back to the catalog. You may remember a truly vintage episode, a two part series, I believe, into The Vertical Plane. This was, I believe the title was Man Receives Emails from the 1500s or something. But it was immortalized in a book called The
Starting point is 00:59:36 Vertical Plane. And we have a signed copy of this book to give away. It used to be a hard book to get your hands on. So it's a cool piece to own. Our own personal copy signed and sent to you if you are the lucky winner of that raffle. Also, can I point out really quickly how f***ed up it is
Starting point is 00:59:52 that Kit thinks it's okay for you to get emails from a guy from the 1500s, but not for a f***ing train to run over a bunch of monks? All right. Well, they're both double no's. Don't get too mad.
Starting point is 01:00:03 I'm just fine. You can tell I'm a little bit bitter about the outcome of this episode. Because I spent two episodes instead of one talking about emails from the 1500s. That's fair. Yes. Please check out patreon.com. We have a bunch of really cool rewards over there. And hey, if you're just here along for the ride, if you don't want to get on our crazy paranormal ghost train, hop on board
Starting point is 01:00:25 the regular train where for absolutely nothing, you can listen to a new episode of this paranormal life every Tuesday. We will hit you over the head with a sack of pennies, take all your money and leave you somewhere on the side of the road. It's a good business model, but it's a free ride and it's a fun ride. And of course we love to do our custom patreon shout outs at the end of the podcast so here we go let's do it thank you to steven ramirez steven ramirez do you know where a beer is because i'm thirsty brother and i'm looking for somewhere i can wet the whistle that was a question steven that's incredibly insensitive steven is completely teetotal oh right apologies sir could you at least club me over the head with a bag of nickels so i get a little loopy instead of Steven is completely teetotal. Oh, right. Apologies, sir.
Starting point is 01:01:06 Could you at least club me over the head with a bag of nickels so I get a little loopy? The per man's high, they call it. Thank you to Ross Devon Principe. Ross Devon went to heaven, but not after he died. He just like weirdly got an Airbnb there for the weekend. I didn't know you could do that he just
Starting point is 01:01:25 went and checked it out he said it was pretty sweet actually that's nuts i gotta look into this oh they say i'm not welcome that's could you think could you book on your account and i can go yeah ross thanks also to amity luna amity luna a crooner. They have the voice of an angel. What's a crooner? A crooner. What's a crooner? A singer. Oh, really?
Starting point is 01:01:52 Yeah. I didn't know that. That sounds like a European currency. Yeah, I don't know where it comes from. But I feel like Amity can certainly croon with the best of the I'm really starting to doubt this in my own head you're making me doubt myself she goes up to the mic and says Amity Amity Amity
Starting point is 01:02:12 crooner sorry I'm reading this wrong my head's all screwed up they're a craner they operate a crane they can't sing for shit terrible voice thanks also to Rick Somaru Rick is so marooned They're a craner. They operate a crane. Ah, got it. They can't sing for shit. Terrible voice. Thanks also to Rick Somaru. Rick is so marooned.
Starting point is 01:02:33 Every time he gets on a ship, he thinks he's making friends, and he's like, so what are you guys doing after this? You guys want to hang out? You guys want to go for a swim or something? And they always drop him off on an island to take off. Oh, God. He's so marooned. That is a retinue, I think. Well, he. He's so marooned. That is a mutiny, I think. Well, he's not the captain, so it's definitely not a mutiny.
Starting point is 01:02:49 It's kind of just like leaving a parrot or something on the island. That's what they think mentally. They're like, no one even feels guilty. They're like, we'll all be happier when he's marooned. It should be illegal. You're leaving him for dead shortly. Thank you to Dav's Brander. Come on down to Dav's Brander.
Starting point is 01:03:07 Yee-hoo! Whatever you want branded. He'll brand your cattle. He'll brand your steaks. He'll brand your f***ing Cheerios in the morning. Whatever you need. Tiny, that's weird. Yeah, he'll brand every single He'll brand your milk. It's not gonna taste good, but he'll brand it. He doesn't
Starting point is 01:03:23 ask questions. He just brands. You could bring a live body in there, like a live man. No, no, no. If you want answers from that man. We've gone down this road in recent times that I don't wish to. He doesn't ask questions. He just brands them. He should. Sometimes he'll, like, hold their head underwater. Sometimes he'll, like,
Starting point is 01:03:40 slap them about for you. We need to have stopped. If they don't talk, he'll brand them. Rory is going to get you put in jail, I think. Thank you to Robin Le Fay. Robin Le Fay loves Le Trains, which is a little worrying because I know that they loved Trains last year
Starting point is 01:03:57 and they also loved Trains in 1749. And they also love trains in year 21X. Okay, so they were on the Zanetti, but they're not Dorian Gray. How could they live this long? Thank you to Dana Alley. Man, I wouldn't want
Starting point is 01:04:17 to meet Dana Dark Alley. This person is tough. They are tough. Are they going to beat you up or or something or rob you in the alley they live down the alley they live in the alley that's how you know they're tough gee that's some oscar the grouch shit thanks to suzy q boozy suzy of course again completely teetotal hasn't touched a touch to drop a liquor in all of her life but suzy could you we're dying a thirst over here would you point us in the direction of it no okay
Starting point is 01:04:50 all right well you know what to do get the nickels get the bag of nickels thanks to john steven john steven always sings don't stop believing that's his his karaoke song. I mean, it's overdone potentially, but it is a classic. But they won't just do it once. They'll be like, don't stop believing. Again, don't stop believing, don't stop believing. Oh, a karaoke hog. Yeah, taking every single song. Don't stop believing.
Starting point is 01:05:17 It ends here. That's kind of weird. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. He's just addicted to that story of a small-town girl in a lonely world. And then afterwards, you're like, all right, man, do you know how to get home from here? And he's like, don't stop believing, don't stop believing.
Starting point is 01:05:27 Okay, thank you. That's a lot. You've been hit with too many nickels, my friend. Thanks to James Dunham. Are we shouting out James? Mm-hmm. I thought we'd already done him.
Starting point is 01:05:38 Hey! Hey! We have, though. We've done him multiple times now. So actually, if you could delete him from the Patreon, because we've done him. Yeah, delete him. Thanks to Lily Russell.
Starting point is 01:05:51 Lily Russell moved from Philly to Brussels. Big culture shock. Wow. Big culture shock. She's been walking around f***ing Belgium trying to get a cheesesteak. You can't. Don't move if you're so dependent on the cheesesteak. She went from Philly
Starting point is 01:06:06 to Brussels to Crimea to Ukraine. All in the flash of a lightbulb. Thank you to Anna Maria Belletti. Famous owner of the Belletti Railway. Oh no.
Starting point is 01:06:22 Started a brand new track but uh-oh, forgot to dig the tunnel. They were praying a time slip was going to happen before they hit that boulder. But no, they found that wreckage. Yeah, God, the slogan for that new railway was, a train so fast it don't need brakes, which sadly was its undoing. It was a mess. Thanks lastly to Michelle R.
Starting point is 01:06:47 Michelle loves to hang out down at the beaches, just hoarding everything that she can get her hands on. Limpets, crabs, driftwood. That's how they actually got their name is a bunch of kids came and tried to take it all away and they were like, Michelle! Michelle! Get back my f***ing shell! That's and they were like, Michelle! Michelle! Get back, my
Starting point is 01:07:05 f***ing shell! That's what they just call her Michelle now. Yeah, their name is actually Todd. Yeah. I don't know how you got an iPad. Like a Pokemon, that's all they say. Michelle! Michelle! I don't know how you
Starting point is 01:07:21 got access to Spotify, Michelle, but hey, we're so happy to have you on board. Thank you and thank you to everyone who support us on Patreon I don't know how you got access to Spotify, Michelle. But hey, we're so happy to have you on board. Thank you. And thank you to everyone who support us on Patreon. Guys, as we said, there's some amazing rewards and really cool extra bonus shit that you can get for friggin pennies. Check it out on Patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life. Thank you so much for listening.
Starting point is 01:07:47 I'm about to time slip out of this studio. But of course, y'all know where I'll be. I'll be back here on a Friday for the after party. And I'll be back here on Tuesday for a brand new episode of... Paranormal tale. I had a whole thing going, dude. Why would you come in that low energy? I was like, really had like a cool metaphor going. But you weren't getting there fast enough.
Starting point is 01:08:15 Like, you weirdly like interjected, but you didn't even have the energy. I just like, thought I was going to finish your sentence and I got it wrong. I thought I was gonna finish your sentence and I got it wrong very normal sale didn't even fit along with what I was saying end the episode man I had like such a good thing going there
Starting point is 01:08:36 alright I'm done okay kids just walk kids gone he's making so much noise he leaves he's gone. He's making so much noise he leaves Alright just leave you don't have to take all this stuff with you I was almost done. I was so almost done with the episode and you inter you interrupted with so such low energy I forgot some stuff. Okay. I Think we should probably have just cut it like a few minutes ago. That's my mic
Starting point is 01:09:05 You don't need to pack my mic while we're still recording, by the way. Can you end the thing? This is so messed up. All right. Thank you for listening to this week's. Don't tell me to end the show and then you keep coming over and making more noise. All right. Thank you so much for listening.
Starting point is 01:09:23 We'll be back next Tuesday with a brand new do you want to say it now you can say it now sorry team me up again same thing thanks for listening to this week
Starting point is 01:09:32 we'll be back next week with a brand new after party on Friday we will be back with another after party but what did you say before when you interrupted
Starting point is 01:09:41 we'll be back next week next Tuesday with a brand new brand new brand new camera pack alright cut the lights
Starting point is 01:09:48 I'm done

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