This Paranormal Life - #298 The Slit-Mouthed Woman of Japan - Kuchisake-Onna

Episode Date: January 17, 2023

This Paranormal Life is always educational, but this week's episode could actually save your life. How is that I hear you ask? Well the next time a beautiful stranger talks to you in the street, instead of blushing and making cutesy smalltalk you'll know instead to be on HIGH ALERT because you're almost certainly face-to-face with a rare Japanese demon known as Kuchisake-Onna. If you want to survive her games and riddles, listen in to this week's episode.This Paranormal Life is sponsored by BetterHelp.Go to betterhelp.com/paranormallife to get started today using code "paranormallife".Support us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunityIntro music by www.purple-planet.comResearch by Amy GrisdaleEdited by Louis Blatherwick Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are there ghosts in deep space? Is there such thing as an ancient Egyptian daddy? Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life! Hello! And welcome back to This Paranormal Life. This is a weekly comedy podcast where two paranormal investigators at the peak of their game dive into a different case every week

and decide by the end whether that case is paranormal or not. You're joined, of course, by me, Kit Greer-Morvena, and sitting across from me on a sofa is Rory Powers. I want to give you a shout out, Kit, for a question that we've never asked on this podcast before. We all know about ancient Egyptian mummies, but what about ancient Egyptian daddies? Where are they? Where are the zaddies of the ancient world all these old ass dusty archaeologists talk about is the process of mummification what about the process of datification something i can i know a little bit about i gotta i gotta be honest you put on 8kg you start looking uh 10 years older

this is the process of dadification. It's also known as the process of giving up. Yeah, maybe that's why they don't study it, because it's all too common. Rory, I can't wait to someday investigate ancient Egyptian daddies, but you know how the intro questions work. We're not talking about that today. No, we've got our own investigation to dive into. But before we get there, how are you doing? I don't mean to brush past it. How are you doing work. We're not talking about that today. No, we've got our own investigation to dive into. But before we get there, how are you doing? I don't mean to brush past it. How are you doing today? How are you getting on? You know, I'm doing okay. Listeners of the This Paranormal Life after party, our bonus material, might know that part of my body, specifically my ass,

is a little bit under the weather. I could have worded that better. That didn't sound, that didn't come out right. Let me try and reword that. It took a pounding recently under the weather. I could have worded that better. That didn't sound, that didn't come out right. Let me try and reword that. It took a pounding recently. It did. It did. I got the ass pounding of a lifetime, literally a week ago.

I'm not a scientist and I'm not a doctor, but while snowboarding in California last week, I essentially broke my ass. I don't know how else to word it. It's gone. It's gone? Apparently I have a glass ass and it shattered. It absolutely shattered. So I'm kind of dealing with the fallout of that. Literally while we were setting up for this podcast, I sat down a little too quickly and almost squealed like a baby piglet. It was so painful.

Rory squealed and proclaimed that he couldn't possibly record on one of the sofas in this podcast studio saying it was broken, busted, it had borderline knives and daggers poking out of it. I sat down, it's fine. It was really comfortable, yeah. And then he sat down on the other sofa instead and the same squeal came out.

So I'm doing okay but i've just let it be known if the the quality of my podcasting is a little weaker today know that i'm going through some stuff rory is basically a world war ii veteran for that and and we all know that he's a real trooper he puts up with a lot and uh god truly gives his toughest battles to his most hungover soldiers but as i I say, we all feel sorry for Rory, but it's not the topic of today's investigation, nor our ancient Egyptian daddies. We do have a brand new paranormal tale to dive into, Rory.

One that I think you'll really like. Because after five, nay, six years, whatever it is of doing this paranormal life, this is one of those that just, I can't believe it didn't come up sooner. You know what I mean? I love those. One of the ones that just slips through the crack,

like Bigfoot. And we're going to get started with that case right after some quick words from today's sponsors. All right, Rory, I'd like to welcome you to 1970s Japan. Whoa! It was an exciting age. At this point in time, the country is on the verge of becoming an economic powerhouse.

Engineering and manufacturing are on the rise, and a new and thought-provoking movement called feminism is sweeping the nation this is actually as much as we love to go to japan here on this paranormal life you know metaphorically through the power of story of course yeah um not physically uh not yet this is actually an era i don't know if either of us know anything about it because as bona fide, pure-blooded 90s kids, that's really where all our references start is Japan of the 80s and 90s. We're talking Pikachu jumbo jets, Beyblades spinning in the streets, all the kind of kawaii culture that we've come to know and love. Stuff that was not necessarily existing in the same form. This is

more of an old Japan. Yeah. Well, I know famously for quite a number of years, Japan was quite a closed doors country, not that accepting of travelers and foreigners coming in. Right, for about a thousand years, I seem to remember. I think so, yeah. It wasn't just like a brief period where they're like, ah, just chill out for a second.

They were like, no, we're done. We're done with the rest of the world for a long time. So was this part of that time where they were kind of closed off? I don't know if it was that bad. It's a good question, though. I don't know what their, like, tourism or immigration was at this point. But I think it's definitely, you know, as I mentioned, getting to that real booming period of, like, the technology boom that made Japan, you know, the most powerful

country in the world for a while. But that doesn't mean that things were all cherry blossoms and ramune soda. There was a darkness on the streets of Tokyo, and I'm not talking about the Yakuza or the disturbing price of strawberries. It was a paranormal darkness, a demonic presence. It was a paranormal darkness, a demonic presence. Ooh, okay, okay. On this particular night, it's raining, and a young woman is walking along a side street. She's got a surgical mask on, which, as we now know, is commonplace, even before COVID. 1700s, though?

No, this is the 1970s. Oh, wait! Have you been saying that the whole time? Yes. I thought it was the 1700s oh oh wait did you have you been saying that the whole time yes i thought it was the 1700s i was thinking like feudal lords and samurai with katana in hand sorry i need a i need a mind shift now i need to freaking i hope i said it right i gotta shake it i gotta shake that off i would love if that hadn't been clarified yeah they would have caused some really fun how long that would have gone on caused some really fun how long that would have gone on for some really fun problems later in the podcast okay okay i'm back in i'm back in

the man approaching her along the alleyway barely even registers it as he scans her up and down with his eyes he's struck by her beauty she's a youthful wide-eyed charm almost magical he can't help but watch as she draws closer. The man is dumbfounded when he realises she's looking right back at him. Soon she slows down to talk to him while he looks around nervously and adjusts his collar. She speaks in a breathy, high-pitched voice that radiates innocence. She seems bashful as her expressive eyes only meet his for the briefest of seconds before she speaks. Excuse me, kind sir? May I ask, do you think I'm beautiful?

Now he's even more taken aback. He doesn't know if this is legitimate or some kind of trick. Yeah. As a foggo myself, this is a sentiment I relate to. You know, someone talks to you in the street, man, woman, or child, and they could be addressing me directly using my name. And I'd be looking around like Mr. Bean, like pointing at myself like, me? You're talking to me? Dude, a beautiful woman stops me on the street and starts trying to talk to me. I assume I am being filmed from the shadows for some sort of viral tiktok video by ashton kutcher yes they're like watch pig boy react to beautiful woman

watch this sewer man talk to a 10 that's that would be the viral caption i'm getting pranked from somewhere one of the f***ing paul brothers are in a tree somewhere with a camera pointing it at this ugly mug. And TikTok doesn't even exist at this point. And he's still worried about that. He's like, he's worried about social media platforms that don't even exist yet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is a strange question to have presented to you by a stranger. Yeah. Just off rip in an alleyway by a complete stranger, a beautiful stranger. As I say, we won't get into too much detail,

but our male friend is not exactly used to this kind of female attention, if you know what I'm saying. We won't go into the specifics. We won't talk about his... Right, out of shape. Out of shape body. Yeah. Thinning hair.

Bad posture. Triple chin. We won't talk about any of it because it's irrelevant like for example and i know you're gonna have to put yourself in his shoes here rory and i don't know if that's gonna be hard for you but uh this is more of a face for podcasting he was uh let me just check the notes here average height blonde hair all, bit of stubble. Watch it. Watch it. It's a bad situation to be in, to have a face for podcasting, but in the 1970s. For a job that doesn't even exist yet.

Yeah. That's like saying a medieval knight has a face for radio. Like, he's just ugly then. There is not a job he can have that won't be showing his face it hasn't been invented yet yeah i've always felt that i have a face for which would actually make me pretty rich in the year 3100 but now but in the age that i live in i'm sadly broke back to our hunchback friend in the alleyway his mind is running hunchback friend come on now you're taking liberties she's not talking to smiegel down an alley in kyoto no this is a

normal man i'm hamming it up as a normal man normal man i guess what i'm trying to say is if i make him feel bad i'll feel better about myself. Is that so wrong? His mind is running through a million scenarios. Maybe she's into me. Or, who knows, she could be a sex worker. God knows this street used to be known for that. Needless to say, he's overthinking it, so he speaks from the heart.

He smiles and replies, if you want to say... Oh, don't make me him. Well, who else is going to be him? I'm the beautiful woman. Okay, fine, fine. Which I feel like just suits my spirit. All right, just tell me the line. Or like personality as a person.

Tell me the line. So if you could say. Duh. Okay, yes. If you could say, my name's Rory. I eat poo poo. Yes're very pretty very pretty indeed okay yes you're very pretty very pretty indeed in an instant her eyes lose all the innocent sparkle he noticed a moment ago replaced by a sinister glint that prompt a stabbing sensation of fear in his body.

Oh, really? Her voice has an added sharpness all of a sudden. She raises her hands to her face and tugs at her mask. It falls away and the man cries out in shock. Oh! How about now? The skin beneath the mask has been sliced open grotesquely. Her wounds look painful and raw. They span from ear to ear and are oozing blood. My god, what happened to you? Tell me, am I beautiful now? The man's too frightened to think straight. He thought he was about to hit

it off with Shaody. He hadn't expected to be accosted by the Japanese female Joker. Oh, I mean, beauty is sort of subjective, isn't it? You know, your face might not be attractive to me personally, but I'm sure there are plenty of people out there who might. As he speaks, she reaches down in her warm winter jacket. She pulls out a long pair of scissors and holds them tight in her hand. Oh no! Please have mercy! I didn't mean it! I...

She slashes at his face with such force that he crumples in an instant. He lies on the pavement, motionless and lifeless. She walks away into the night, slipping back into her medical mask. That's one hell of a mask. Without hiding all that. It's a daft punk helmet.

Yeah. She turns the corner onto the main street and disappears into the crowd. The demon of the streets of Japan has claimed another victim and will continue to do so for the rest of time. Close book. And story time is over. Jesus, wow.

All right, so we're talking about some sort of mythological paranormal creature masquerading as an innocent woman. As Shaori. As Shaori. As Shaori. Does this creature have a name? This thing, Rory, is known as Kuchisake Onna, a.k.a. the slit-mouthed lady.

Oh, God, that's a terrible name for a creature. Rory, what are you doing in this situation? Well, hey, we live in London right now, which means there could be a woman uh holding a crying baby running out of a burning house asking for your help you just put your airpods in and keep on walking brother you you learn in this city you don't talk to strangers right you mind your own business because most of the time you're either

going to get mugged or they're going to try and get money out of you that's kind of what it's like when you first go to new york city everyone has this one time they take the mixtape they take it everyone had everyone does it once everyone does it once takes the cd takes the mixtape takes it's probably like a thumb drive now or something you're like oh huh well thank you so much yeah thank you so much this sounds really great yeah and they're like hey don't even uh i'm not even gonna charge you for it i'm just an independent artist here i'm just trying to make a bit make a bit of just make a name for myself you know when you're like hey if it's free i'll support it yeah i can't wait to check it out and you're like well the cd costs

something the cd costs something so you gotta give me And you're like, well, the CD costs something. The CD costs something. So you got to give me something. You're already like, I'm in too deep already. This is getting bad. If you're a country bumpkin who isn't aware of how this usually plays out, you end up giving them money and the CD's blank. There's not a goddamn song on it. You'll be paid $15 for a blank disc. He'll tell you a sob story about how his whole family died in a fire.

He wrote every song about them. There'll be a great story to writing this album, but it is a blank CD. So unfortunately, you know, as city boys, I don't have a lot of conversations with strangers on the street. So if someone walks up to me and asks, Hey, am I beautiful? I'm not even looking at you. And that's for, as we discussed, TikTok related reasons. Oh my God. I was on the main street here in London the other day and I saw two groups of people going around with like cameras and microphones,

like walking up to people trying to film little bits. And I was like, oh my God. It's real. It's real. Cause I've seen the memes that that's like a thing in New York. I didn't know it was happening here too. Yeah. It's crazy. How much do you pay for rent in London? It's like, get out real. Because I've seen the memes that that's like a thing in New York. I didn't know it was happening here too.

Yeah, it's crazy. How much do you pay for rent in London? It's like, get out of my face, you little bastard. So this isn't something that would necessarily happen to me, but I'm running. I'm going to run. It's a great point that you've brought up, Rory. Obviously, to be here right now to record this podcast, I am in London, uh, where I don't live anymore.

And I was thinking about this exact thing just yesterday, whenever I arrived that I was like, you, you find yourself, you slip back into city mode. Cause I was in city mode for years, you know, now I'm into country bumpkin mode usually when I'm at home. Uh, but I find myself slipping back into city mode. It's exactly what you say. It's like, head down, don't look at anybody. I know people probably think we're being dramatic, but most people know what we mean. It's like, there's a lot of stuff happening everywhere and you're going to have a quieter and safer life

if you just ignore most of it and keep it moving. I will say that is based on street interactions. I literally did have a girl once, no joke, come over to me in a bar and say, do you think I'm attractive? Oh, no. Word for word. When was that? This was a few years after university. Okay.

Yeah. And how did it go? The rest of the night is classified, brother. Remember I said I got my ass smashed? it's a lot to do with that when i say a few years after university i mean last weekend a big bear california yeah all right so um that's less relevant to this case but what i was gonna say was i never thought about it before but um those rules those tenets those belief systems of city life are pretty applicable to the paranormal too. If you're hiking in the Pacific Northwest and you see Bigfoot Tarzan style just swing from tree to tree, just head down,

keep it moving. Don't buy his mixtape. Well, you might have noticed that in our opening story today, there weren't too many specifics going on. We didn't learn anybody's names. We didn't hone in on even a really particular time or location. Rory, I think you know what that means. This story bears all the hallmarks of an urban legend. Sure. But if this urban legend had originated, say, a week ago on Reddit, we wouldn't be spending this much time talking about it. But this legend goes much deeper than that and has been known all across Japan,

going back not 20 years or 50 years, but hundreds and hundreds of years. Whoa. It's our job to get to the bottom of it. And like all good legends, there is an origin story to uncover. Hell yeah, let's dive in. This story all began in Japan, but much further back in time. It's somewhere in the region of 1,000 years. What? The Heian period is a peaceful era in Japan. That's what the name Heian literally translates to, peace.

China was taking somewhat of a break from meddling in the country's affairs for a bit. I believe the emperor at that time was Andre 3000. With the Heian period. Terrible joke. I had to get it out of my system I apologize that is the dadification

of Rory happening in real time dad jokes galore this period actually established Kyoto as the capital of Japan because Kyoto used to be called Heian-kyo Tokyo actually only

became the capital about 150 years ago. Not everyone knows that. And guys, did you hear the way Kit said Tokyo? We know our shit, alright? We've studied Japanese, we've both been there. That's right. Tokyo. Don't make

me go Tokyo on your ass. Deflects the Japanese knowledge. Rory, let's quickly test your japanese history as i mentioned tokyo has been uh capital for the last 150 years sure before that kyoto aka hey and kyo do you know where the capital was before kyoto hmm is it a popular place that i would know yes it's not a trick question. Was it Hokkaido? It was not. I'll give you one more guess.

Osaka? Nara. Oh, I did know that. Yeah, right? It's kind of weird. Nara, if people aren't aware, it's most famous for being a place where the city is 100% deers. There's deers everywhere they're completely

kind of uh domesticated and they it's cute as shit they know how to bow for food yeah they'll come up to you and they'll bow like a you know like like a japanese person would i guess but in exchange for snacks it's a good system well i tried to teach the same thing to my hamster, Terry, but he's not very humble. He will not bow. He won't bend the knee to Rory. I don't know a lot also about hamster anatomy. It could be that his spine renders it impossible. But that little f***er stands tall and proud

anytime I try and give him food. I actually kind of respect him for it. I actually don't know anything about hamsters or guinea pigs. They were not a pet that I was allowed growing up. God knows I asked for it, but God knows I didn't get it. But all I ever heard from people was that those motherf***ers would die within about two days of usually fright, loud noises, anything like that.

Yeah. They are creatures that do not want to be alive. Yeah. There's very delicate systems in which they can be alive. I think when I got mine, it was like, it's like, hey, you don't want to get just one because they get lonely and they'll kill themselves. It's like, you want to get two. And it's like, but make sure that they're comfortable with each other because they'll

eat each other if they're not happy. And it's all right uh well i guess i'll get these two because they're brother and sister so that might work they grew up together and he's like yeah that should be fine they might try and f**k each other or eat each other we don't know he's like oh i don't want them then give me a goldfish give me a goldfish that sounds a lot easier it's because as a kid you're like me want fluffy thing yeah a cute little but the guy the pet shop is like just because it's fluffy and just because it's unbelievably cute doesn't mean it's a good pet and it's like even as a kid you're just like all right all right chief i think i know fluffy things when i see them i think i'm gonna like hamsters actually

yeah they bite too they got a strong little bite needless to, I did not have Cosmo and Wanda for very long. I instead, for some reason, was allowed a newt called Godzilla. Getting back to ancient Japan, well, on account of all this peace, people are managing to get some well-earned time to chill, making art and writing poetry, and generally revolutionizing Japanese culture. In fact, because quite so many people are lounging around being creative, crime is now on the rise. Towards the end of the Heian period, a new protective force is brewing. Samurai are suddenly available for private hire. Rich landowners across the nation can now pay for their very own security detail to protect their shit from criminals.

It goes without saying that samurai are tough cookies. They train to be indifferent to pain and display unwavering loyalty to their commander. In society, they're granted special privileges, such as being permitted to carry not one but two swords, and they also have a 007 style license to kill anyone of lower status than themselves a badass it kind of is i agree i know with young people today it's cool to say uh a cab all cops are bastards but i feel like everyone's got a soft spot for samurais

it's like i guess they were just cops but uh yeah but they were a lot more romantic yeah the swords the armor the cool dresses the swords the hairstyles there's one particular samurai whose name has been lost to history he has a stunningly beautiful wife she was so beautiful she kind of spent all her time working on her looks, dressing prettily and wearing nice makeup. Some called her vain, but she was certain they were all just jealous. But despite marrying a samurai, she doesn't exactly hold herself to the same tenets of loyalty as the samurai do, because soon she starts having an affair. Which, by the way, if you are the per sob that she started dating and you thought she was single boy are you in trouble when it turns out she's married to a heian era samurai who owns

multiple swords and has a license to kill that's like matching with someone on tinder and it turns out they're married to conor mcor. Can you imagine just being like, hooking up with this beautiful girl one night and you just hear the door open downstairs? Ohayouzaimasu! What the f*** was that? Oh, you gotta go, it's my f***ing samurai husband. He doesn't know you're here.

Yeah. Sweetie, I'm just, I'm coming upstairs, but I'm just sharpening my blades for a while before bed. You're going to get stabbed. There's no way out of this. You're going down. You are going down.

It wasn't long until the affair was discovered. Quick courtesy content warning. You might be able to tell there's a bit of violence coming in this legend. Nothing crazy, but it's part of the story. So fast forward if you might be able to tell that there's a bit of violence coming in this legend. Nothing crazy, but it's part of the story. So fast forward if you don't want to hear that.

Well, they've already heard the story of me getting my ass blown out. So they've heard a bit of violence. It wasn't quote blown out. They've already heard. You fell on it. You fell on it.

And it sounds, you have to know that it doesn't sound good if you say that. All I'm saying is destroyed. That's all I'm going to say. If I had to choose one word. Obliterated.

Obliterated. What's this? What are you doing with him? What does he have that I don't have? I'm a little badass samurai. I will not tolerate this insubordination.

In the blink of an eye, he's unsheathed his sword. He holds it to her throat as she gasps for air. He pauses to take in her soft skin and lips and her twinkling eyes. Your beauty will never hoodwink another. I can promise you that. And with that, he cuts her mouth with his blade. She falls down in pain. Before she takes her final breath,

he bends down and says, besides, who will think you're beautiful now? Do you think the dude is just like, I'm going to dip. You guys seem like you've got a lot going on. I'm actually gonna peace out i just he was at the toilet this whole time whoa mama mia yeah he walks back in mary you're out of gatorade you mind if i oh oh well thank you beautiful i'm just gonna go i'm just gonna go you're standing on my shirt do going to go. I'm just going to go.

You're standing on my shirt. Do you mind if I just... Just going to take that real quick and I'm going to dip. Rory, I don't take pleasure in telling that story, but this is the tale behind the phantom known as Kuchisake Onna. Oh, this is sad.

This is a lot sadder than I thought it was going to be. Whilst it's clearly, on a surface level, a grim and cautionary legend of domestic violence many across japan are convinced that it's real and that the murdered wife has returned in demonic form to terrorize modern japan feels kind of weird that she is the one that is having to suffer the curse of wandering the earth asking people if she's pretty seems like this dude should have had something inflicted upon him. Yeah, I think that is our modern enlightened ways speaking

because I think, honestly, for probably most of those thousand years, people were telling the story like, hell yeah. You'd be like, can you believe she did this? That's what cheaters deserve, bro. Jesus, yeah. It was a time, can you believe she did this? That's what cheaters deserve, bro. Jesus. Yeah. It was a time when men were carrying around swords.

It was a lot more of a violent kind of vengeful time. Now, Rory, have you heard of this phantom? Never. Never. Maybe I've seen the name pop up now and again, but I didn't really know anything about it. I definitely didn't know this weird, creepy ass backstory. Well, Rory, that probably puts you in a similar place to many of our listeners. We are going to get into exactly how the Slitmouth Lady operates

and get to the bottom of this case right after some words from today's sponsors. Okay, we're back and talking about the Kuchisake Onna, a.k.a. the slit-mouthed lady. And I was interested to see whether you had heard of it. I certainly hadn't heard the Japanese name, but I believe I've seen at least, like, artist interpretations of this thing

or just some sort of reference in pop culture to it. You know, a woman with the medical mask and a horrible Joker-style Chelsea grin underneath. Yeah, yeah. Why did she kill the guy in the first story? He said that she was good-looking. Rory, we're about to get into it. There is a whole game she plays.

She's playing a game. This is NBA 2K to her. I think it's understandable also if she just hates men at this point yeah that's kind of fair thankfully or not thankfully i'm not sure which there have been enough sightings and encounters that we know exactly how this whole interaction goes down let me set the scene she appears to people traveling alone at night. She wears a surgical mask and approaches men to ask, Watashi kirei?

Am I pretty? And Rory, the f***ed up thing is, if this actually happened to you, you would know enough Japanese to get sucked in. Oh, shit. So what would you say back to her? What, if she's saying a thing to you? If she a uh i would say uh uh toilet and then walk away very abruptly or he would say where is the toilet and run away yeah right that might work let's let's see so if the man in question says no,

she whips out her scissors to kill them or at least mess up their face. Okay, that's option number one. Get killed by scissors. If you say no. If I say yes? If, like the gentleman we heard about earlier, if you answer yes, then stage two begins. Stage two sounds a lot like stage one.

She drops the mask and asks again. All right. Kore demo. How about now? Sounds like I'm going to get scissored either way. If you say no this time, it's stab time. Okay. And if I say yes?

But even answering yes is no guarantee of safety. If you say you think she's still pretty, you aren't out of the woods yet. Because if you remember our guy in the first story, he actually pretty much said no. Yeah, he was like, not to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fair enough. Now, she might let you walk away from the encounter at this point, but there's every chance she'll follow you home. Now, if you manage to make it inside quickly enough you'll be fine but if she gets to you before you get to open the door

and go inside game over i know you're trying to like explain the rules of this but it sounds like there are no rules she makes up her mind on the spot depending depending on what mood she's in. It's not like following a formula or a spreadsheet. It's like you could say no and she'll kill you. And if you say yes, she might let you go. That's the mood she's in. She might still kill you. Well, what we know is that saying no guarantees death. Is there some sort of keyword activation word?

Is she like f***ing Rumpelstiltskin? If I say her name three times does she dissolve or something you know is there is there a way to survive it what if i have a pair of scissors what if i have a rock rock beat scissors well i'm glad you asked there are some as it turns out quote-unquote cheat codes for survival this is what i want she hates hair gel. So if you grease that shit up, you know, like Cristiano Ronaldo, you might survive. I use oil, like nice smelling hair oil. Does that count?

Okay. She's not bothered by that. You're getting scissored to death, brother. There's something about the old-fashioned hair gel. It's also said that you should invest in a bag of beko ame, hard candy, as many believe that you

can get rid of her with just giving her a sweet. Okay, some sort of offering, like a tribute. But if we're going back to our game and the kind of best practice, apparently the best chance of survival is when she asks if she's pretty, you say yes.

Then when she reveals her face and says, how about now, you're supposed to act casual and say, you're okay, fairly average, I'd say. That can't be right. She'll be so confused that you'll have just enough time to run okay so run running is the option uh this is my favorite one for trying to avoid the kuchisake onna allegedly because she goes so far back in time like a thousand years or whatever it's believed that she's an old ghost with old school strong values. So even though she's a demon,

it's said that you can get away from her simply by telling her that you have a prior engagement to attend. Ah, I see. That you mustn't stand around talking, I guess. That you have to go. Her manners are so good that she will let you go without delay. Well, they're not...

Her manners aren't that good, are they? Because she's f***ing scissoring people to death. That's how they did it back in the old days. You know, if you were honorable and you were polite, people would treat you like royalty. But if you step one foot wrong, a samurai would decapitate you. But, I mean, her husband was a dickhead samurai a man of alleged honor you'd think that she would she would hate that kind of stuff she would be against

it but this is where we get into the paranormal element of it all rory i mean this is we're calling her a demon fair enough because she apparently looks just like a regular human woman but maybe this is some kind of unthinking ghostly spirit. Right, maybe we're giving it. Just doomed to just repeat history over and over and over again. Yeah, we might be giving it too much credit as a sentient being making choices. This could just be a curse living in a creature. Exactly right.

I will say the final way that you can allegedly confuse her is when she asks you, If you think she's pretty you say forget that do you think i'm pretty again buying you just enough time to flee to run so running is still the option yeah so it's basically like i don't know like i feel like you could just do it like you could just show her a fidget spinner and that would buy you just enough time to run like you could do anything yeah yeah you don't have to follow these like rhythms and patterns and secret questions show her an ipad like a six-year-old bring up a f**king toy story 2 on an ipad and that will give you just enough time to run right have we ever come across such a paranormal entity

you know this kind of like paranormal being you know like in isn't it like monty python the holy grail like you must answer the three riddles in order to pass across the bridge some strange magical entity i don't think so not that i can think of uh especially not one with where the instructions are that specific can you think of any i mean yeah normally like ghosts and everything don't even interact at all they're just kind of seen but not heard where she's like she's straight up like uh catfishing motherfuckers out in the streets yeah is there a 21st century kuchisake ona who's on tinder right now trying to lure men and like if she asked them on iMessage if they think she's pretty and then if so she like i don know, hacks their bank account or something.

I think I've definitely matched with a few people on Tinder before who I wish I was smart enough to know running was the best option in hindsight. But I don't know if we've ever investigated. I mean, we've investigated a lot of other creatures in Japanese mythology. I believe the Jiki Ninki. I think they're Japanese. The flesh-eating demons and a few others, but not ones with this elaborate

a backstory. It definitely is a little bit unique in that respect. You know, we've talked about it before. We know that Japanese legend and lore is completely rife with, it's famous for being full of these kinds of creatures, lots of which we actually don't know that much about because all the information is out there in Japanese. The yokai, I believe it is. Yeah. The Japanese demons. And for that reason, this

has been a bit of a tricky little case to research there's kind of lots of information but like many urban legends style paranormal tales quite little in the way of specific encounters so what you're saying is to fully investigate this case we are going to have to fly to j, go to all of the hostess clubs, maid cafes, and new room massage parlors that we can to try and get some firsthand evidence of this creature existing. So, yeah, what you're saying is Rory-san needs to get drunk in Roppongi district and chat to as many young women as he can, which is by the way, just a standard Saturday night out for Rory anyway.

How do you say broken ass in Japanese? I need to give them a heads up. Hey, I like the attitude, that willingness to just get on the ground and get down and dirty. Not like that. But whilst the history books aren't full of specific encounters it really all took off in 1979 the year that kuchisake on the panic swept the nation suddenly she was more interested in approaching children than fully grown men she asked the same questions and cut up the faces of those who screamed at her appearance. Yikes. An elderly woman in Yaotsu in Gifu Prefecture was an eyewitness to the slit-mouthed lady.

She reported to police that she'd seen a young woman with a gaping, slashed mouth hiding in a shadowy corner of a public garden and approaching lone children. Oh, I mean, definitely in the right to call the police. Paranormal or not. Paranormal or not. Yeah.

Agreed. Teachers and parents were also worried. They conducted patrols and made their children walk around town in groups if their parents weren't available to bring them home. The story made it into the papers and it became a bit of a sensation. Kids were swapping stories and embellishing the details. Almost immediately, the whole thing got written off as a mass hysteria. But not too long ago, some new evidence did come to light.

In 2007, a coroner uncovered records of a woman terrorising children in the 70s. Allegedly, she'd been a victim of a suspected car accident because she had facial disfigurements. Whether this is an account of the long dead demon wife of the samurai, or just a person who was in a car accident, remains to be seen. Yeah, I don't want to say one is slightly more plausible than the other, but I think if we repeat that sentence again, one of those options is going to stand out more than the other. Yeah. Do you think this is maybe possible that it's a life imitating art type situation of there's a woman who had, you know, her mouth was all cut up from

a real life car accident and she also happened to be harassing children one day. Yeah. You know, stranger things have happened that... Harassing's a big word too. Was she just talking to these kids? And then the kids were scared naturally. Yeah, genuinely, yeah. But stranger things have definitely happened than something like that happening. And then the kids being like,

I've heard the legends about this lady. Like, it's real. Yeah. It's like... it's like a kid today playing the slenderman games yeah and then uh one day somebody's uh seven foot two uncle comes to pick a player in a suit comes up to ask them what time it is they're gonna scream exactly these kids are gonna freak out yeah and this is the place we find ourselves, Rory. This is one that, you know, is very geographically, physically far from where we live in our lives and the stories we've grown up with. So it's almost hard to put ourselves in the shoes of these people and understand just how literal their belief in this demon is. You know, we have some eyewitness testimony,

some amount of kind of interesting panic happening in the newspapers in the 70s, and allegedly a story of at least one woman being spotted or found by the coroner that was connected to scaring children. But can we really connect that with the original slip mouth lady the woman who was murdered by her samurai husband a thousand years ago i mean based on the stories it seems like it's incredibly hard to have an encounter with this person and not walk and not walk away with your mouth scissored in half. Right. So if all of these people are claiming that they've seen the woman, claiming they've had encounters with her, you'd know. You'd know because these people would be like spaghetti walking down the hallway. That you would be able to tell if they actually had a real encounter with the woman.

Right. They either met Wolverine or Kuchisake Onna. So for people to say they've seen them and yet we actually don't have anyone who's like yeah i saw her look at my face because she cuts them up right isn't that the idea or she just kills them yeah uh she cuts them up and if they die they die there you go folks uh yeah there's a stronger into you know this isn't just like a shadowy figure that says like um oh be a better person or or something i don't know warns you or something like that you'll know you'll know if someone actually had an encounter with this creature this is like imagine if if bigfoot was known

for walking up to people asking if he was hot or not, and whatever you said, regardless, he beat you. A lot more people would have convincing Bigfoot evidence. Because Bigfoot right now, all he does is kind of walk through the trees, hide in the shadows. If he had a butterfly knife, we'd be hearing a lot more Bigfoot stories. Or if he branded people, if he bent you over and branded your butt like cattle,

we would have a lot of physical evidence as to whether or not Bigfoot exists. Because if you're telling me you saw him, you got to show us the mark. Drop your trousers and bend over if you're saying you saw Bigfoot. This is the trouble with anything that borders on urban legend. It just makes our jobs as paranormal investigators that much harder when at the end of an episode like today, we have to decide whether our paranormal case is real or not. Rory, in the case of Kuchisake Onna, the slit-mouthed lady of ancient and modern Japan, what do you think today? You say it makes our job harder i say it makes our job a lot easier let me tell you um okay it makes kit's job harder to convince the masses that it's real

this is a pretty fantastical tale born out of folklore born out of urban legends uh but i i think if we're talking about whether or not this creature actually exists. We need more evidence. We need more photographs, videos, firsthand testimonies. And until we get those, I say this story is as two-dimensional as the creature itself. I think it's going to be a no from me this week. Rats, Rory, I guess. It's a double no today on this particular case. It's just something we don't have enough evidence for.

Bloody hell. You know, I do love covering stories in this part of the world. We do run into some of the same problems just with a, you know, a lack of kind of firsthand evidence because of the language barrier and everything. But it doesn't mean we're not going to keep trying and look into more of those. What do you call them, yakoi? Yokai. Yokai. Yokai. Japanese demons and spirits. But hope you enjoyed this trip down Japanese memory lane

to look into this particular demon anyway. I believe we have some listeners in Japan. So if you have any first-hand experiences. We do? Yeah, I think so yeah yeah we definitely do uh so if you have any first-hand experiences or just a spare room that uh your boy rory your kid can crash see where you're going while we do some first-hand research uh let us know let us know get in touch at this paranormal don't let rory stay he's gonna be at those hostess clubs until 4 a.m every night just me 3 a.m cat ears on my head faded off of sake they say the legends are that she she has

she has guys if uh if she if they think she's pretty do you think i'm pretty do you think i'm pretty we're closed we're closed we know the whole point is to like get you to drink and spend money, but we're finally, we've had enough. The woman behind the desk is like, this is a bus station. This is a bus station. This isn't a cafe. You bought sake at a 7-Eleven and you've been here in cat ears since yesterday. You have to go home.

Thank you, of course, to Amy Grisdale for researching this case and to louis blatherwick for editing it uh god rory we're uh we're not starting the new year with quite the bang we're hoping in terms of double yeses sure sure but you know over on patreon we did have a double yes not that long ago did we i think uh right the one you keep bringing up, the Ogopogo. Oh yeah, we did. We did. Yes. Sorry, I'm not selling it. Oh boy, did we. So what I'm saying is if you've listened to every single episode of This Paranormal Life, but not the bonus ones, there is, you know, if you're having a down day someday, if you're just having one of those days and all you need to get you through is a Kit and Rory double yes. A little drop, a little drop of that yes.

It's on demand over there at patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life. Yeah. Check out the episode about Ogopogo. I'll also say we don't even usually come down on conclusions in bonus episodes. This case was so goddamn convincing that we forced ourselves to do it just so we could say double yes. That's actually very true. I guess when you look at it that way, yeah yeah the bonus episodes are more successful than the main ones because because if you never give it a double no at the end then uh they're all yeses in my mind baby

um it's true though over at patreon we got um tell them roy tell them what we got you kind of put me under the spotlight here i'm i'm honestly a little shook uh is it your ass you're cradling your ass like it's hurting again well i didn't want to bring it up but yeah it's it's throbbing like a sore thumb i feel like it's all right we could just wrap up feel like a bumblebee that's just stung somebody so you're gonna die i'm gonna die any second now brother and i didn't make enough honey in this lifetime let me tell you let me tell you i'm begging for just a few more days i have no queen and no honey that's where i'm at i'll tell you that much no queen no honey and i can't afford a hive we have a ton of stuff over on

patreon so much so much shit over there it's it's crazy it's gonna blow your mind tell me to ask me to ask me about one thing that we have on patreon i'll tell you about it ask me about one thing that i have on patreon after parties no ask me i said ask me about what we have on patreon and i'll tell you i was hoping you might say it no don't say say it just ask me what what do we have over on patreon the after parties well No, don't say it. Just ask me. What do we have over on Patreon? The after parties. That was what I was going to say, but then you frazzled me.

What are the after parties about? I don't know, man. My ass hurts. We're going to get you some painkillers. It's fine. We don't have to like limp through. I guess we've got to wrap this up because Rory is fading away before my very eyes we need to

bring him to a and e honestly it's definitely broken i'm good i'll be okay i once i had a similar injury when i was about 15 years old it was a skateboarding injury uh where i fell directly onto my tailbone and uh i couldn't shit for like two weeks. That is too much information. That is too much. You have to know that's too much. It wasn't the actual process of shitting. It was just the amount of time it took me to sit on a toilet. It was like a 45-minute process.

I had to be eased in. You're lucky you didn't die that time from not going to the toilet. My god, patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life for content that makes much more sense than what you're listening to right now.

But you know what? There are also other tiers on Patreon where you can get, sure, bonus episodes, sure, after parties, even a limited edition

Night of the Commune collector's coin. Ask me about what else we got. Go on, ask me. Ask me one other thing about what else we got. One other thing you can get at got what's the one other thing you can get at patreon.com

the coin I said the coin you already said the coin the other thing yes I totally like that there's one more and we talk about it

at the end of the episode the after party we've said that we've talked about that we said the after party when did we say the after party I'm gonna say it I'm gonna say it

because you keep not I keep teeing you up we'll say it at the same time. We'll say it on three. You ready? Right. A one, a two, a three. A three. The coin. How could you think we were going to say the coin? We said the coin too. At the end of an episode, we like

to shout out those who have supported us. We've only got a couple. We've only got a couple. Because we caught up. Because we caught up finally. So we're going to shout out those who supported us this month on Patreon. We're going to roast you. We're going to roast you motherfuckers. We're not. Because we caught up, finally. So we're going to shout out those who supported us this month on Patreon. We're going to roast you. We're going to roast you motherfuckers. We're not.

Here we go. Thanks to Juliet Muldoon. Juliet, are you looking for a Romeo? Because I would like to offer the This Paranormal Life commune. There's a number of eligible bachelors. Yeah. Now, between you and me me juliet they are not really

romeo material uh exactly i mean we're talking these guys haven't heard of soap uh for the most part yeah yeah now that's mostly because there is a soap shortage in the commune but um i'm getting distracted they're fixer-uppers guys they're fixer-uppers. They're great guys. They're fixer-uppers. Great guys. You have fun investing in them, cleaning them up. They're like an old broken down house, you know? And all their asses are broken. So there is going to be a bit of fixing-upping to do, Juliet.

Thanks also to Alexandra Powell. Alexandra Powell, actually one of my family members I haven't talked to in a while. Oh, wow. I was originally part of the Powell family members i haven't talked to in a while oh wow i was originally part of the powell family uh but we were uh i don't know how to put this politely snake oil salesman we would go town to town selling potions that didn't work they were borderline poison uh so

half the family didn't work i can admit it now because it's you know statute of limitations and everything like that so i originally came from the pow, but we had to change our name and move town a series of times to try and make sure that we weren't being hunted. So great to keep in touch with a member of the old family. Don't try any scams on us, please. No, I'm too gullible. Thank you. Lastly, today to Zeke Rowe. Zeke Rowe is like Skidid row but on planet serpo uh it's kind of like a downtown la neighborhood style situation yeah in but specifically for the planet full of ebens

planet serpo lots of cool kind of like an intergalactic uh street party biker gangs yeah hanging out swapping stories i like it i think we should set up maybe zeke rowe in the commune that would be cool we could get some serpo food delicacy kind of truck set up create a whole kind of kind of thing front a lot of that is poisonous to humans but you know we'll we'll look into it uh thanks zeke rowe for sponsoring the podcast of course thank you to everyone we've shouted out today. We'll be back with more shout-outs next week. And thank you for tuning in.

Hope you enjoyed this investigation into all things 1970s Japan. We'll be back next Tuesday with a brand new paranormal tale. We'll be back on Friday over on Patreon with the After Party. Woo! And later this month for a bonus episode.

Until then, remember to live fast, investigate, and die young, baby!