This Paranormal Life - #317 The Skunk Ape - Bigfoot's Cousin in Florida

Episode Date: May 29, 2023

The 'Florida Man' has become famous across the internet due to the truly unhinged activities that are seemingly unique to men from Florida. On this week's episode we find out whether the same logic applies to cryptids from Florida - are they more erratic and unpredictable and dangerous than their counterparts outside Florida? The Skunk Ape has many similarities with the infamous Bigfoot of the Pacific Northwest, but with a few Floridian twists to keep things interesting. Time for Rory and Kit to find out more!Go to drinkAG1.com/PARANORMAL to get 5 free travel packs and a year's supply of vitamin DFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunitySupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeIntro music by www.purple-planet.comResearch by Amy GrisdaleEdited by Philip Shacklady Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How fast can Bigfoot run? Why do we call it maple syrup and not tree blood? Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life! Hello and welcome back to This Paranormal Life. This is the weekly comedy podcast where every Tuesday your favourite paranormal investigators, Kate Greer-Molvena, me and Rory Powers, who's sitting across from me In no particular order

In no particular order Your favourites in no particular order Just want to clarify that right off the bat, sorry to interrupt Were you You were thrown by me saying my name first, was that it? Yeah, just because you said your favourites and you were like, Kate Greer-Malvena and the other f***ing guy, whatever his name is

I just want to make sure that you know we're both both are introduced at the same level I want to avoid this conversation unprofessional wow

I guess maybe I'm first place now because one dude didn't mute his f***ing iPhone before we started the podcast I don't want to get into this conversation

so badly that I'm literally going to scrap everything we just recorded I'm going to say it again welcome to the show you're joined by Rory Pars and me, Kit Gurumovana. Okay, that's fine.

Happy? Yeah, I'm pretty happy. Shouldn't be because it was boring. And every week we get into a different paranormal case and decide by the end of the episode whether it's true or not. I don't want us to get too tied up at the start of the podcast because you know we like to dive right into the topic. But one of your intro questions, why don't we call maple syrup tree blood?

Call it like it is. Reminded me of a really horrifying article that I read this week. You guys want to know something real paranormal? I read an article that says apparently plants can scream. I don't think they can. Where did you they can scream the bino but but at such a at such a frequency that the human ear can't hear it i i feel like i need to see receipts don't make me google this i i think this is a real thing listen i have no doubt that the plants that live in your flat are screaming i think the ones in my flat are uh they're having a nice time they're getting fed they're getting watered

but rory's waking up cracking the can of monster energy and saying one for me one for thee and pouring it into the soil yeah i have a little shop of horrors-esque uh thing going on in my apartment they're they're talking to me at night. You're really struggling. You're visibly struggling to find this article. Did you dream it? No. Here's a... Okay, here we go.

Here we go. So, screaming is just... That's not the correct term to use because they can't actually talk. So they can't make any noise? No, but listen, listen. It's scientifically proven that plants emit an ultrasonic sound in rapid bursts when they're stressed. Oh, okay.

I see what you're saying. So they do make a sound when they're stressed. They make noises. I don't know. I don't think it's anything like that. Like kind of like a sea, like... Like if maybe they were asleep and then you turn the lights on in the morning and they're like, oh, oh, sorry. I didn't know you were.

I was sleeping here. Yeah. So everyone, just be kinder to your plants. Look after your houseplants, Mother Nature and the beautiful trees that exist in our world. Maple syrup is delicious, but we've got to be. Is there an ethical way to retrieve that delicious, delicious sugary goo? Rory, I don't think there is. Okay, never mind.

And I think, f*** them, to be honest. It's too delicious. Catch me putting in earplugs to drown out the screams of the innocent in those Canadian maple forests. I'm glad we got to the bottom of something just now, but we are not here to talk about maple syrup or tree blood. We are here to talk about a brand new paranormal case that needs getting to the bottom of,

which is exactly what we're going to do on today's episode right after a couple of words from today's sponsors. And a quick reminder, you can get new episodes of This Paranormal Life ad-free on patreon.com forward slash thisparanormallife. Hi Rory, we're going back to 1973, deep in the jungle

that is the Florida Everglades. Jesus, the jungle. This shit must be like a Taylor Swift concert. Just, ahhh, ahhh, so many trees screaming non-stop. And we haven't even

talked about what, I don't want to get sidetracked, but we haven't even talked about what it would be like to be stepping on grass if you could hear grass. Oh my God. I think the less said

about that, the better. Nine-year-old Dave Shealy was out in the bush with his dad. They were out hunting and by now they were well off

the established track. But Papa Sheely knew what he was doing. He'd been exploring the Everglades since he was a boy, no older than little Dave. On this occasion, Rory, they're hunting bucks. This way, son! I usually find bucks a little southwester here. But Dave wasn't following anymore. He couldn't even hear his dad. He was transfixed by an enormous patch of mud that stretched across the path he cleared. Dave, y'all gave me a heart attack disappearing like that. Don't worry about that mud. Just walk around it, bud. Little Dave stretched out a shaking arm pointing straight down. What is that, Dad? What could leave footprints that big? Sure enough, there was a set

of huge footprints tracking straight through the mud. They were significantly bigger than a human's, but it wasn't the size that made his blood run cold. He'd seen these before, and he knew what had left them. You ever heard of the skunk ape? I think I heard some kids at school talking about it one time. Davey, now that you're six. I'm nine. You're old enough to know the skunk ape is like a Sasquatch. They live out here in the swamp. I ain't never seen one, but spotted plenty of tracks.

So, it's Bigfoot? Well, the Pacific Northwest has Big bigfoot down here in florida we got the skunk ape you want to know the difference take a deep breath can you smell that musk i want to go home dad this kind of sounds like if if the only difference between bigfoot and the skunk ape is that uh god i hate the you made me say that sentence uh if the only difference is the smell uh this kind of sounds like another creature that we investigated which is momo the missouri monster uh who resembled bigfoot or sasquatch but smelt like shit. I think that was one of the only kind of defining characteristics and differences. Okay, I'm going to take what you said,

and I'm going to base whether I include it in this story or not on, did we say it was real or not? There was a double no. Okay, I'm going to just delete whatever you said from the podcast. It's a great point though, because we're going to get into it a lot later, but there are a lot of similar styles of cryptids kicking about different areas of the United States

that share characteristics, but go by different names and are mostly just separated by region. So we probably are going to see some overlap with Momo and maybe Bigfoot. Separated only by stench. Truly we probably are going to see some overlap with Momo and maybe Bigfoot. Separated only by stench. Truly, they are almost identical in personality and physical appearance. But one of them reeks of shit.

Momo smells of shit. Skunk Ape smells of ass. It's really variations on a theme, I would say. And indeed, Dave did detect fileness in the air. He looked back to the prints. The shape was eerie and uncanny. They were definitely feet, but they were wedge-shaped and they only had four toes. Rory, would you like to see a picture of these footprints?

Oh shit, hell yeah. I didn't know that we were going to have pictures today. Based on the name of this podcast, i assume there would be no physical evidence so this cast was actually created uh later from the same place but our protagonists in the story they gave you the thumbs up saying this matched what they saw okay got it it was just taken from a different uh different footprint sighting whoa all right that That is a very, very strange footprint. Not really at all what I had in mind based off the description that you gave. It basically is a four-footed...

I don't know what the hell that thing is. Those toes are massive. Yeah, they are. I mean, well, the whole thing's massive. So for reference, the whole footprint is like... It's most of the guy holding its arm yeah it's quite large it's probably you know two feet in size or something like that yeah imagine if you stuffed hot dogs into the top of a pineapple you're getting very close to

what this print looks like yeah you know i'm not um a primatologist i would say that this is if i had to gun to my head i would guess that this probably is somewhat similar to the shape of some you know ape feet or something like that i would say like if you looked at them there would be a lot smaller but they might be quite similar in shape like the giant toes because you know monkeys and apes and stuff they use obviously those toes a lot more than we do. Yeah, but like a monkey's toes, they kind of like curl, right? So they can grab shit. These are just like flat sausages jetting out from the base of this foot.

It's really strange. That might tell us something about how this thing moves. If it had little spindly ones for grabbing around things maybe it would hang out in trees or whatever but you and i both know bigfoot momo and the skunk ape they don't hang out in trees brother they they uh they walk around like you and i he has a moped his feet are flat so he has a skateboard well just for my own satisfying my own curiosity i'm gonna look up what a gorilla foot looks like, just for comparison. Yeah. I just noticed you typed in the word feet

and there was a bunch of autocompletes in your... No, there wasn't. Your Chrome history there. There wasn't. Yeah. Okay. It's fine. It doesn't matter.

It was probably like feet2inches.com or something. It was like a conversion site or something. Or like feats of humanity. Or like it was like a conversion site or something or like feats of humanity or like it was like a list of like cool things oh the feats of yeah that people had achieved in their lives yeah or like this one's called foot fetish porn.com so what is that one is that it's your voice went high there for a second that's crazy how did that get there so you're not even denying it is no i'm just yeah i'm just damn bro someone must be i think i need to destroy the computer i think someone's hacked it to be honest i think uh your script is

on there so we have to we have to use no i'm like rattled now because like do you think it's possible that like a hacker like broke into my bedroom last night and then opened it up because it says 2 a.m but like i wonder they break in at like 2 a.m and like navigate to that website is that so crazy yeah yeah it is i think it was i think i should call the police because that's that is like the most likely explanation probably i regret bringing it up on the podcast all right well bro Well, bro, I'm going to be calling Apple as soon as this is over to figure out what is going on. So I'm going to show you here.

Ignore the other tabs about feet and just look at the tab here about gorilla feet. They were not what I thought they would look like. Wrong tab. Wrong tab. It's the fetish one.

It's not. It is. No, those are definitely... Those were human feet. The ones you just showed me. Some of them were in stilettos and some of them were in fishnets. I think someone just put lingerie on a gorilla.

I really think that's what happened. Okay. I'm certain I've got the right tab now. Okay. Here we go. Wrong tab. Wrong tab. There's no...

Hold on. That wasn't even a tab. You just opened up a document on your desktop. This is... Can you Google it? Can you Google it for me? Clearly, I can't. I can't even touch this computer without feet porn just pouring out of it.

What do you want me to look up? Okay. This is what a gorilla foot looks like. Oh, shit. That is not what I thought a gorilla's foot looked like That thing is nasty Imagine Oh that's gross

That's what a gorilla foot looks like Bear with me here Imagine Look at your hand And then imagine that your four fingers Were tiny Yeah imagine That's what it looks like

Imagine a wizard Zapped four of your fingers With a shrink ray Yeah And shrunk them down But you still have a normal size Thumb and palm Did you know a wizard zapped four of your fingers with a shrink ray? Yeah. And shrunk them down, but you still have a normal size thumb and palm. Very strange, isn't it? I really don't like that. That freaks me out.

Well, this image of the skunk ape tracks was burned into young Dave's brain. And from then on, he was dying to catch a glimpse of his new and mysterious neighbors. One year later, little Davey was ten. He was out deer hunting again, but this time with his older brother Jack. Because at ten years old, they were men now. Sure, they didn't need adult supervision. They hadn't seen much, and neither of them had taken a shot so far. They were eager to spot a field of deer, so they were creeping through the undergrowth in near silence.

But without warning, Jack thrust out his arm and stopped dead. Dave looked up and saw his face frozen in fear, but he couldn't see what was up ahead. The grass was tall and he wasn't. What is it? I can't see. Jack bent down and picked up his little brother. Dave craned his neck and his jaw dropped when he saw a figure walking through the swamp just a hundred yards ahead. It looked like a human man, but covered head to toe in hair. It was walking slowly. They couldn't believe what they were seeing. Only moments after the beast had appeared, the Florida sky broke into a sudden downpour.

The ape man took off running and disappeared. The silence was broken by Dave. Holy crap, I finally saw this damn thing and it got away just like that. Rory, as you know, today we're talking about the skunk ape. Have you ever heard of such a thing? Never. And I mean, this story is a dangerous one because whatever that thing was is bad. Whether or not it was a paranormal creature or some sort of hairy swamp man, either one of those encounters is bad. Walk away, children. Maybe the man one is worse. I'd be begging for it to be a paranormal beast. Yeah, I don't know what's more disturbing, a creature unknown to god and science or a man with such insane chest hair that he looks like one it's hard to say a man unknown

to science or a man known to the local police department yeah the second one is definitely more worrying i'd rather it be a paranormal creature so rory has made a great point uh this could be a human man, but we're going to as disturbing as that is, we are going to park that possibility and hopefully focus on the likelihood that we're looking at some kind of cryptid. We've mentioned already that this

thing is quite similar to Bigfoot and probably several other creatures. These things are said to be about 6'6 and 450 pounds. Unfortunately, 6'6 still could be a bloke. Yeah, that's really not that tall. Yeah, I think it's probably more about

how wide they are, not just how tall they are. How wide can he be? He's not a f***ing cube, is he? Do you hear 450 pounds? He's bigger than a f***ing quarterback. That's just another man, though. Your comparison point is just another man though your your comparison

point is just another human being have you ever seen a 450 pound man it's like dude he couldn't possibly be a human he's the size of the rock it's like another man he's like he's like dave batista out there no but the rock is samoan and and and we're not in Samoa. We're in Florida. They are primarily seen in Florida's Everglade forests, often in packs. They're said to be peaceful and kind. The only negative that I've come across so far is that people say they smell like a mix of wet dog and, you guessed it, skunk. Oh, okay. And we're not talking about the strain of high potency street weed that you can get on high streets across England. But it made me think, it is crazy that smell is one

of the indicators of this thing, because there's no way Bigfoot smells good. So that's a good point. This thing really must smell bad. I guess maybe people don't get close enough to Bigfoot to ever smell him. Yeah. Whereas maybe the skunk ape, they're getting pretty close, it seems like, even children. And it really must be terrible because, you know, I would guess that it doesn't get this name lightly because I haven't personally come across a skunk. But skunks are, yeah, haha, they're in Looney Tunes and they smell bad. But I think it's like skunks basically

release a chemical bomb yeah it's pretty serious it's a defense mechanism yeah exactly they don't just not roll about in water enough yeah to clean themselves they literally shoot liquid nasty to stop people from attacking them or going close to it. Please never say that again. Liquid Nasty. That's Rory's new brand of whiskey. That was my stripper name. Jesus Christ. Now these cryptids have been seen in Florida, Alabama, and Rory's home state of Georgia for generations.

Reports flooded in as soon as European settlers arrived in North America, though their history goes back much further than that. Seminole and Miccosukee cultures include legends of a foul-smelling, physically powerful and elusive creature called Esti-Capkaki, a name that very, very roughly translates to a furry tall man or hairy giant. In 1818, local newspapers reported a story from Apalachicola, Florida, about a, quote, man-sized monkey raiding food stores and stalking fishermen along the Gulf Shore. I do want to jump in here very quickly before we start calling it a gorilla man rory because this is a man-sized monkey completely different yeah my again we won't go into too many details about it but my gorilla man was not man-sized what size was it

gorilla gorillas are kind of man-sized though uh. Uh, no. No. Are they? But do you think they're bigger or smaller? Uh, smaller. How big is a gorilla? Very f***ing big. But they haunch. They have, like, a little haunch going. Well, they're crouched over, yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want to hear the story or not, brother? Because I got all the time in the world. I've been dying to tell it. No, we have no time. We have no time. I'm sorry. I just got a little curious. But, no, to be clear, we have absolutely no time. I have no time. I'm sorry. I just got a little curious.

But no, to be clear, we have absolutely no time. I almost had you for a second there. I mean, you'll get the picture. I've got a couple more here, but you get the picture very quickly. In 1818, a man-sized monkey raiding food stores and stalking people. In 1942, a man in Suwannee County saw the same creature rush out into the middle of the road he was driving down it grabbed onto his vehicle and beat on the door for half a mile before leaving him alone jesus in 1963 a family encountered an ape-like creature on the grounds of their farmhouse

and at least once they found it just standing at the window staring into one of their bedrooms how has this thing not been shot yet? It is remarkable that it hasn't just been shot in the head. It sounds like it wants to die. It's basically like, yeah, banging on car windows, being like, please hit me. It just seems strange that, you know, if Florida is anything like my home state of Georgia,

I know how many very passionate, itchy trigger fingered hunters there are out there in those states. It is remarkable that this thing has not been blown to smithereens yet, especially if it's been cited so many times. And not just like out in the forest, picking berries and scratching its ass.

You said it was stalking people, breaking into stores and stealing food. stepped up to a guy it stepped up to a guy tried to rob him yeah i mean this thing is the sightings are frequent and they are uh dramatic there's a lot going this isn't this isn't the bigfoot we we've come to know of in this paranormal life, which is elusive, highly mysterious, and reclusive. This thing, this is a man about town. Right. He's there to be seen strutting his stuff in the Florida Everglades. Also, by the way, complete bullshit,

whoever said earlier that this thing is peaceful. We've had robbery, frightening wildlife, attempted carjacking, and now, lastly, he's a pervert just staring in through open windows. Yeah, if it wasn't just a man to begin with, it is still a criminal. But sightings of this skunk ape reached a fever pitch in the early 70s,

heavily reported in local newspapers. People were claiming, stay with me here, that the skunk ape was invading homes, killing livestock, and at one time, two Palm Beach County officers say they shot at a skunk ape after it was stalking them. Everyone reporting the same thing.

A six to seven foot ape-like creature with dark red black fur. This is a truly insane amount of eyewitness sightings, isn't it? It's true, and that's usually great on a podcast, but I will say there is a correlation between the amount of sightings that you have and the absolute necessity for photographic evidence. If two people have seen it and you don't have any photos, that's fine. Maybe one of those sightings was in the 1800s. It seems like this thing is coming to church on Sundays.

This thing's at the barbecue on the weekends. It's hanging out in the... He's getting invited to the cookout, yeah. Yeah, so I'm definitely at some point very keen to see some real firsthand evidence of this creature existing. Rory,ory brother stick with me and i'll look after you i do want to quickly mention that for anyone who's a patron of this paranormal life head on over to patreon.com for this paranormal life to get bonus content

uh those patrons will know that i believe our most recent bonus episode was about the cow man of Coppolis Beach. Now, while that is on the other side of the country and much more traditional Bigfoot territory, the description we're getting here is actually, and this was a surprise to me, I didn't see this coming. The description is almost identical right down to the red black fur. Yeah, it's almost like Kit forgot he had to host an episode this week and changed the script just enough that he could tell the exact same story over again

and make up a new name like Skunk Ape and pretend like it was a whole new cryptid even though it's the exact same as Momo, it's the exact same as the Cowman, it's the exact same as Bigfoot. Yeah. So I'm interested next week for Kit to investigate the f***ing, I don't know,

lizard squirrel. And the lizard squirrel is actually seven foot tall, smells like s***, pretty hairy, weirdly enough. Yeah. It's almost like Kit stayed up too late looking at feet pics to really string together a coherent case. Rory, well, you might... Sorry, I'm shaking. Yeah, you're getting visibly angry.

I just... You're walking right into my trap because you are so sure of yourself that where Momo went and where the cowman of Coppola's beach went and both received double no's sure you think that the skunk ape's gonna walk down that same track well you're sadly mistaken buddy are you got some big reveal here for the end well we're not at the end oh god i'll get there that concludes my opening chapter. And I said a second ago that two policemen claimed to have not only seen it,

but had to shoot it after it was following them. That would be f***ing insane if that were the only government authorities that had encountered the skunk ape. But there was actually another local policeman who said he hit a skunk ape with his patrol vehicle jesus he hit a man it's yeah it's pretty convenient there's a guy in a suit and a briefcase bleeding out in the road he's like it's like oh another skunk ape better better phone the rspca the reason i point this out is because normally in cases where we have cryptids running rampant

in a community usually the authorities are the first people to stand at the podium and say listen ladies and gentlemen there's been a lot of consternation local community we've been receiving a lot of worried reports from parents worried about their children that there is a creature at loose in the community and we just wanted to create this conference to say that there is everything is absolutely under control we believe it to be hysteria and a figment of people's imagination and we would like to claim that uh we have scientists here saying that there is no such creature in existence and that uh whilst we should all be vigilant for for wildlife um please remain calm and stay at home. This got the people riled up.

And allegedly, several, quote, posses, a.k.a. dad squads, banded together to try and find and kill the creature. Woo-wee! Although, they did turn up short, as dad squads often do. And no body or evidence was found. This is the problem with dad squads often do, and no body or evidence was found. This is the problem with dad squads. Sometimes they get a little bit lost with the kind of dad squad pre-hunt, you know, sitting around the cooler drinking Bud Lights and polishing their guns, and sometimes they just drink a little too much, pass out, and forget to ever go hunting.

Yeah, the tailgate really kind of hijacks the actual hunting part where they're trying to capture a cryptid. It's mostly about the beer and the barbecue beforehand. I think that might be what's happened here, unfortunately. One dad, seven foot, very smelly, ended up eating and drinking most of the beer. After enough natty ice, the dads started turning on each other,

accusing each other of being skunk apes. But just because they turned up empty-handed, that doesn't mean it's the end of being skunk apes. But just because they turned up empty-handed, that doesn't mean it's the end of our skunk ape story. We're going to come back after the break with more to this story and first-hand evidence that this thing exists after a couple words from today's sponsors. As I say, there's a crazy number of eyewitness accounts of the skunk ape. there's a crazy number of eyewitness accounts of the skunk ape. They're also still coming to this day. 48 out of 67 Florida counties have reported sightings since 2010. What? But the most important story of the bunch is still the one that we started with at the beginning of today's episode. You see, a lot of sightings came from drivers of wildlife tours around the Everglades,

which makes perfect sense, right? These people are literally out there looking for wildlife, and they know what's supposed to be there and what isn't. Yeah. But when I looked into this, one particular report from 1997 caught my eye, because it came from a tour operator by the name of David Shealy. The same David Shealy from earlier, except he's not 10 anymore. He's a grown man. Wow, so that experience he had as a child has inspired him to dedicate his life

to essentially hunting for the skunk ape. In a certain kind of a roundabout way. He obviously turned his passion for the outdoors and the knowledge that his father instilled in him into his career which is at this stage in 1997 uh running these wildlife tours that's a very healthy way to deal with that trauma i would say i really should have thought of that after my own sighting of the dub Gorilla Man. You know, they say everyone, their first paranormal experience is a make or break moment. It either inspires you to spend a lifetime pursuing further understanding of the workings of the universe,

or you wear a tinfoil hat and you start microwaving your underpants to get rid of the radiation from the government it really goes either way so i'm glad to see that the individual in today's story is uh is is doing well yeah you know and sometimes i think it's my underwear is hot right now by the way if you hadn't noticed it's borderline boiling because i microwaved it for 25 minutes it's you know nice in winter not so much in summer, I will say. I feel like the world of the paranormal is the only world where that happens quite that way, isn't it?

It's like, I wonder if any other art forms or industries, people just take things the complete wrong direction. Like, you know, a little kid goes to see an orchestra for the first time and hears an incredible cello concerto and they're like tears in their eyes watching this f***ing Stravinsky solo on this cello just the emotion of the night

overpowering them most children walk away going wow I'm going to grow up to be an unbelievable musician just like them maybe some little psycho comes going, I'm going to kill all the other cello players on Earth so that I will be the greatest. Right, it could go either way for sure. So the fact that this individual is, you know, seems to be having some sort of fulfilling career where he can also hunt for the skunk ape at the same time, sure, you know, mostly looking for normal animals.

But yeah, of course, I'm working late nights down at the Everglades hunting for this mother f***er who I see every time I close my eyes. I'm just, I'm gonna stay late, just make sure the boats are working. Just make sure the propeller boats, make sure the propeller, yeah, the propeller's gonna stay clean,

doesn't it? Who's gonna clean the propeller? I guess I gotta stay late and do it. He's loading tranq darts into a rifle. Yeah, I'm just going to stay late. I got some paperwork to finish. Some paperwork that started in 1973. It's the skunk game. Just say you're going to stay and hunt. We all

know that you do it every night. This is like a coke addict working for the DEA. It's like, yeah, guys, yeah, I'm working on this lead. I think I've found the kingpin. You know, I've got his phone number. I mean, I think I'm getting real close to him

and I think I need to go undercover, actually, for a few weeks. I really, you know, party. I mean, really figure out what's going on. And I've got to test the quality of this product too, right? While Dave was doing his usual rounds at work, now one task was leaving food out for birds, specifically leaving out lima beans.

Because if he can feed the birds and attract more birds, that will attract the kind of big animals to the area that people actually want to pay to see. The skunk ape eats birds. That's the logic. So he's walking around with his sack of beans, loading up feeding stations, and he's about to turn back when a horrible smell hits his nostrils. Oh god, there's one here. He wandered down the track a little way, passing the platform

he'd loaded with beans only twenty minutes earlier. But he was astonished to see… there were no beans left. He ran up to it, and couldn't help but notice that the dirt beneath was peppered with giant prints, just like those he'd seen as a boy. Damn. He made it back to his office alive that day, but that week he had dozens of people burst into his office to tell him about the skunk ape they'd just seen. He wasn't even surprised. He'd seen one before, and he would see it again. And just a couple of years later, on 8th of July, 2000, Dave finally caught the skunk ape on tape.

Rory, I have that footage at my fingertips. Holy shit. All two minutes of it. God damn. All right. You want to see it? Let's check this out. Now that I'm talking about it, I bet you do want to see it. Yeah. I bet you're pretty desperate to see it. I wouldn't say desperate, but it would definitely help your case. I actually feel pretty powerful right now holding this tape in my hands. I can do my conclusion now without the tape if you want. You know what? If you want to see this video, you're going to have to be pretty

nice to me from now on. It's a no from me this week. Okay, no, hold on. Hold on. I was going to ask for your dessert for a month. God damn it. Alright, fine. I'll show you it. If you withhold your judgment. I retract, yes. I retract the ask for your dessert for a month god damn it all right fine I'll show you it okay withhold your judgment yes I retract the no for now but it is loaded in the chamber Rory hold on to your cock and balls because they're about to be so crass Jesus there we go all right so we're

looking at basically what looks like video camera footage from July 8th, the year 2000. We're seeing the camera zooming in towards a patch. Rory hasn't even mentioned the skunk ape that is walking through the Florida Everglades. Oh man, I can barely, I can kind of see him. Oh, don't you worry bud, we got another minute and a half of footage here. So there's no audio, just video. So we're probably, how far would you say we're a couple hundred meters away from the skunk ape from the cryptid in in theory yes uh yeah very shaky

camera footage but now and again between the trees you do see the the kind of a figure well jesus okay he's coming straight out now uh yeah it does look like uh a monkey it's the right color as well like red and brown yeah and black it is just kind of walking around it is very strange it's not really it's not moving like a gorilla it's just like walking about yeah i think i that that struck me too it's uh it is i hate to say it but it is a bit human-like, the walking, in a way. But, you know, I reserve judgment. Because at the end of the day, this creature, along with Bigfoot, they're supposed to walk on two feet, not like gorillas.

Okay, now it's strutting. It's just strutting through the field, walking completely like a human. Now it's running a little. It's not six foot, by the way. Not even close. It absolutely is. It's kind of small for a human. It's absolutely not.

Rory, that's about six foot of f***ing Florida Everglades grass. What do you think? Well, I can't say I didn't get what I asked for, which was some video evidence at the end of the podcast. Was it the most convincing and believable paranormal evidence? Not necessarily. If anything, it showed either that the skunk ape resembles a human a lot more than anyone else said that it did, or it proved the fact that this video

is a human in a monkey suit right i mean people did describe they were like a monkey man a monkey that's six to seven foot tall that's just or a man completely covered in hair that's exactly what we saw it's true i guess this video of what we saw is like there's 0% animal in that. That is literally just a man covered in hair. You know, it doesn't have any animal characteristics. Didn't seem to be moving like any animal. I don't know if the way it was moving

made it look like it would leave those footprints, which is insane because if that's the size of the creature, the feet on it would be like scuba flippers. So the most important thing about this footage is that for context, this swamp, and it is a swamp we're looking at in the Everglades, was covered by over a foot of water at the time, making the speed that he was walking through there basically impossible for a human. All right, great. You have that on good authority, do you?

I can show you. Even if we look at this video, see if you go through the YouTube comments. Every single comment is a Floridian going, this is f***ing real because that is impossible. is a Floridian going, this is f***ing real because that is impossible. Every single comment is someone from Florida going, this is literally, literally impossible. You're running through a swamp. I don't know what to say about that. This is genuinely one of the most interesting pieces

about this whole story. So Rory called it, Dave Shealy has actually gone on to become the eminent world expert in the field of skunk ape research. He calls himself the Jane Goodall of skunk apes. He's written books about them now, and in recent years has built the Skunk Ape Research Headquarters, a global research facility for the scientific study of skunk apes. Here's a photo of the facility. Okay, facility might not be the right word to describe what is essentially a garden shed built in the middle of a field. It is shed-like, I would say. So Rory, having heard the witness testimony, having seen video footage of the beast, where's your head at

currently? You know, I wish it was not called Skunk Ape. I wish it was called something else. Same with the Cowman. I wish they were called, give them a different name to be taken a little bit more seriously. Call them Rogons or something, you know, that sounds cool. Like, have you heard about the Rogon? Oh, it's this ancient beast that storms the forest Yeah, it smells like shit, of course and looks like a monkey, but that doesn't mean it's a skunk ape It's called a Rorgon. I feel like the name is doing a bit of a disservice and I'll admit It meant that at the start of this case. I maybe didn't treat it with the The seriousness that it deserved we've investigated a lot of cryptids like this before

that resemble Bigfoot or Sasquatch but have their own characteristics. But in not a lot of cases we ever get paranormal evidence that is that... What's the word I'm looking for here? Groundbreaking. Extensive. Extensive, I think, is the word I'm looking for.

So that is a treat in any case Extensive. Extensive, I think, is the word I'm looking for. So that is a treat in any case to have plaster casts of the footprints and video footage of the alleged creature itself. What about you, Kit? I mean, you were the primary researcher on this one. Where's your heart taking you? Well, the biggest problem with this case is the lack of physical evidence so far, which feels strange to say because we've had much more than most paranormal cases already. But as an example, because of the recency of this, because of supposedly how often these things are seen, we need to know why haven't they been picked up on wildlife cameras, which are all over the Everglades?

How come dead remains have never been found? These are kind of basic cryptid questions. Well, for that last one, Dave Shealy, he claims that things decompose incredibly quickly in the swamp.

And he says, remains are unlikely to last long on account of all the alligators, pythons and panthers around. Plus, the national park covers 2.2 million acres,

most of which, which is totally unexplored. So a few skunk apes are a needle in a haystack i will say sure that's a pretty good excuse but once on this podcast we investigated the bones of a leprechaun and those motherfuckers can live for a thousand years so i don't think it's crazy to expect to have some bones a single bone yes skunk ape yeah and this is we won't get too far into it but this is a big uh bone of contention pun intended in the bigfoot community because people always ask us where are the bodies and uh the bigfoot

community will go to quite far lengths i would say to try and explain this one uh even going as far to say that bigfoot know they don't want to get caught so they like they take away the bodies of of the dead all right either like bury them or get rid of them or whatever because they know that that would be that would blow their cover um but it's it's a bit of a tough question yeah the hordes of big feet that live out in the jungle, it's similar rules to the John Wick universe. If you're ever killed or captured by the humans, you are excommunicado. You're no longer legally permitted on Bigfoot grounds

and you have to hide your own existence from the universe. It's a very similar kind of organization. You get burned. you have to hide your own existence from the universe. It's a very similar kind of organization. You get burned. But Rory, there is one last piece of this story, which I think is both fascinating and fun. And one that researcher Amy says has pushed her over the edge into being a believer. Whoa, whoa.

It's the year 2000 and we're in Sarasota County Police Station. Detective Maroney, there's a letter for you here. Maroney tore it open and scanned it. Wait, what did I just read? He read it properly, but was still just as confused. A woman had written into the police to report being bothered by an escaped orangutan. She said she'd seen it

stealing apples from her porch three nights in a row, and she got a photo. Detective Jordan, would you mind taking a look at this for me? The two men studied the picture and decided it was probably an elaborate hoax. Besides, nobody had reported an orangutan missing in a hundred mile radius. Their only other explanation was an escaped illegal pet that the owner wouldn't have reported. Right. But Rory, it's time for you to take a look at this photo and see what, instead of as a detective, police detective, as a paranormal investigator, see what you think about it. To this day has never proven to be a hoax, and we still don't know what it is. day has never proven to be a hoax and we still don't know what it is the craziest thing is if this made researcher amy a believer that's saying something because she is also our animal expert

sweet jesus oh my god what the f**k is that you're looking at a skunk ape rory what is it if not the mythical skunk ape that is wild oh well i'm gonna go ahead and tell you right now this doesn't look anything like the creature we saw walking about in the video i don't know if that's fair i mean it's just the hunchback on that thing just hunched over yeah Yeah. That thing looks girthy. That doesn't have a human body. That looks like a mound of flesh and fur. Its head is basically where a human's neck is. And its spine like curves around in this big hunchback and this mound of fur.

That is terrifying. If that thing was still in my apples, I'd kill myself. Yeah. There's no other thing to do. That's a demon. that's a straight up demon from hell that's come to earth it's a it's a f***ing sick photo it's nice for a change isn't it to not have like not have to be like where in the image where where am i looking at what am i looking at like it's and i'm like oh it's the grainy blob in the background yeah it's cool to cool to have just an in-your-f***ing-face Bebo-style selfie profile image. Yeah, for reverence for those listening,

this is a creature that's kind of hiding behind some plants, but very badly. He's incredibly visible. Whether it was intended to or not, the flash for the camera has gone off, illuminating... R.I.P. this woman. this woman yeah oh this woman's long dead she was hammered into a sauce right after this photo was taken because the flash it looks like a thunderbolt that just illuminated this mother and his eyes are glowing his teeth

are razor sharp it looks like he is he's about to leap at this woman uh wow jesus christ and you've you've highlighted the important bit rory going forward which is that his eyes are glowing in the way that with the flash on an old camera people's eyes get lit up that's pretty convincing evidence i hate to say that and this is what's fascinating as researcher amy points out this thing does look pretty orangutan ish it's definitely you can see why the woman called it that it's got as you say the kind of like hunched over vibe even its face looks a little bit similar. The coloration is maybe not exactly right, but its eyes are shining in the photo. And this is where researcher Amy's expertise truly comes

into its own. Because your eyes lighting up in a photo, that is the effect of something animals have called tapetum lucidum, which is a layer of crystals at the back of the eye, which help light to bounce around in there and hit your retina. Certain animals have it so that they're adapted to see at nighttime. Tons of animals have these eye crystals that cause this glowing effect, but orangutans aren't one of them. In fact, she goes on to point out, basically no primates have these eye crystals really humans have it and uh there's a few species of lemurs which have it but neither of those things are in that f***ing photograph i would have thought especially kind of like monkeys and apes and chimps they would have been the creatures that would have had it not only being closely linked to humans but also as a creature that does have to

exist in the night in the jungle what are we looking at you're telling me when the sun goes down a monkey goes blind no that's all i'm hearing no one said that no one said they just didn't evolve to have eye crystals when the sun goes down a monkey doesn't know whether it's dead or alive this is what i'm hearing it doesn't know if there will ever be a tomorrow. That's terrifying. And that's also kind of beautiful. That's why you hear them screaming so much. When the sun goes down.

Listen, brother, if you didn't think there was going to be any tomorrow, you'd be throwing your own shit and eating bananas too. Why do you see them? Why do you think they're jacking themselves off and eating bananas like there is no tomorrow? Because they think there's no tomorrow. They live every day like it's their last, butt naked in a tree.

God bless them. But I love that. I love that silver bullet of just a little hint of evidence here that just, it just goes to kind of simplistically disprove some of the possible explanations for what that photo is it simply can't be an escaped orangutan yeah and then i guess what what are your other possibilities that's not a a human in a monkey suit that thing looks insane that's not a prop because even a prop or a costume wouldn't reflect the light like that unless the eyes just are light

up led yeah i'm trying to think how elaborate this hoax could be but uh yeah there are some flaws which brings us to the end of our investigation into the skunk it we have a goddamn sophie's choice an impossible task which is to decide whether this case is paranormal or not. We've heard the litany of eyewitness testimonies, backed up by, in theory, those prints we saw at the beginning, the two minutes of video footage shot by Dave Shealy, and lastly, this final kind of earth-shattering picture taken by a woman living in Florida. What are you thinking today? I don't know what I'm thinking today, man? I don't know what I'm thinking today, man. I don't know what I'm thinking today. This is a wild one.

I mean, the only problem with this case is my heart wants to say no. But a case like this, I mean, if you can't say yes to a cryptid case that has this much actual evidence in it, then what cryptid case can't say yes to a cryptid case that has this much actual evidence in it, then what cryptid case can you say yes to? You know? Yeah.

This is usually the point in a regular case where we'd say, but we just need that video footage, that photographic evidence, testimony from reputable members of society, or even a plaster cast of the thing's footprint. That is allegedly everything that we have today. So it's making this conclusion a lot harder to come down on. Rory, if it makes the decision easier or harder from you, I'm going to come down on a yes today. On the case of the skunk ape of florida because i don't know i don't know i don't i'm talking

directly into the camera now i don't know what is out there but something is out there and we're not saying this isn't a referendum on the bigfoot but we're not saying this thing is teleporting we're not saying this thing is teleporting we're not saying this thing is burying their dead and that's why no one's spotting them but i'm saying enough people saw monkey and apples that there is a creature seemingly unknown has existed at some point here and has been spotted it's a double yes this week i'm giving this guy gave a double yes this week. I'm giving the Scott Gave a yes. I cannot believe you got that. We need to zoom in on Roy's face. This is the most shameful yes of his life.

I cannot believe you got that out of me. But hey, that's just a testimony to how great this case is. That even with my bias going into this story, being so determined to give it a no, that you could win me over. And I'm proud to say that I'm that open-minded as an investigator. And I think you should be proud, Kit, for being able to host a case with that much incredible evidence. Kudos to you and researcher Amy.

Oh, it's all down to researcher Amy and the good people at home who suggested this one. A lot of people suggested this one. John Smith, Kyle White, Michelle Connelly, Flashy Arrows, Will on Patreon, L Clark, JJ Campbell, and probably more. So thank you so much to everyone who suggested that. And if you think that our conclusion is wrong, you're going to want to go look at that picture. That's all I'm going to say. Because I was relatively on the fence until I saw this picture. And I'm sure we'll tweet it or we'll stick a picture up on Patreon or something. But you need to see this, folks. Just as I was going through our emails there to try and find who has suggested this, thanks to Flashy Arrows who emailed us. Because I'm actually realizing that the the photo i showed

you i didn't realize that that was really punched in there's actually a a further out photo and then fascinatingly another angle there's a second photo where the thing is actually at a different angle jesus christ kind of makes it even more believable yeah because it's like because the face has changed it's definitely not a statue or anything like that. Yeah. Kind of cool, right? I do not like that. Get that thing away from me.

You know, I'm so pleased because we sometimes talk about in the podcast, there is a scientific bias that means that UFO cases and things like that can get yeses more often. So really nice to get a cryptid yes for once in a while. more often. So really nice to get a cryptid yes for once in a while. Yeah, remarkable that now we are a podcast

that said no to the incidents at Shag Harbor, but yes to the existence of the skunk ape. All right, well, don't be bitter about it.

No, I'm not bitter. I'm not bitter. It's fine. It feels like you just realized that fact and you're like maybe going to get mad about it.

So I feel like I just need to wrap up the podcast as quickly as possible so you can't take anything back. just now i think about it thank you to oh god oh god yeah just some of the witnesses that i had were really convincing and they were police officers as well so i just don't know there was video or flash photography um it's hard to get video thank you so much to everyone who sent in that suggestion. You're grinding your teeth. It's going to come up on the audio.

I just don't know if we can. Rory, this is such auspicious timing to be talking about this case, to be talking about the Bigfoot in general, because you showed me when I got to the studio yesterday, we received something pretty damn cool. Yes. This week, we got sent an authentic Bigfoot collar. No way.

From one of our listeners. Brandon Zimmerman. Thank you, Brandon Zimmerman, for sending this to us. Now, this is allegedly, hopefully not a mating whistle, but some sort of hunting whistle that you can blow that attracts Bigfoot to your location. Because whilst we should be relatively safe, sat here in East London currently,

we can't be too safe. And I just don't want any horny Bigfoot to be knocking down our doors. I do believe in the store there was a sign up that did say, if Bigfoot doesn't come, you can get your money back. It's guaranteed to attract the beast itself. Well, this is interesting as well because we've talked about Bigfoot

a lot on this podcast, but I don't know, we never really mentioned specifically what he sounds like. No, I don't think so. So, really excited to hear what this is going to be. Yeah. Okay, so. We've got to give it a test. Here we go. No.

It sounds like an angry goose. There's no way this is what he sounds like. I mean, if the goal is to make him angry enough to kill you... That's definitely not making him horny. We can rule that out for sure. Speak for yourself, brother. I'm chopped up over here. Well, there we go. Now, he does have quite a way to travel,

because I believe he's mostly spotted in North America and we are currently in East London. Yes. So we'll give it a few days or so and let you know whether he does end up turning up and whether or not he's horny. So thank you so much, Brandon Zimmerman, for sending that to us.

What an amazing, cool piece of paranormal paraphernalia. Hell yeah. This is going right on the shelf. Love it. Just one going right on the shelf. Love it. Just one more time for good measure. But my God, if you cannot get enough cryptid encounters, guys,

if you're just fiending for more after that exhilarating double yes, why not head on over to patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life, where not only can you listen to new episodes of this paranormal life ad free uninterrupted uncut raw unfiltered still filtered still cut too why would you want that i add in some stuff actually whenever we uploaded i add in some just controversial takes that week it's a lot of the foot fetish stuff to be honest so if you're into that you're going to want to check it out just a roundup of the week's best feet pics uh over in patreon.com for slash this part of my life i also got bonus episodes monthly weekly after party episodes which

are essentially full length behind the scenes uh podcasts of just me and rory we have limited edition commune coins getting sent out uh and even monthly giveaways yeah something for everyone there's so much cool stuff over there so if you're a fan of the show and you want more for just a little amount every month uh go check it out it's one of the best ways to support the show and means that we can uh keep creating fun stuff in this awesome studio we love to hear it and of course all the links to that are in the description of this podcast, along with social media. Come chat to us.

Say, hey, we tried to get back to as many people as possible on all social media platforms. We're posting up videos every week, clips from the podcast. Good point. Yeah, if you want to see some of these images,

if you want to see what the Bigfoot collar looks like, because we didn't even talk about it, by the way, it's a giant Bigfoot head and you blow into the back of his throat. It's wild. Check it out. We're posting all of these videos over on YouTube and TikTok and Twitter and Facebook, wherever you want them. And of course, one of the rewards over on Patreon is to get a shot here on the show on the 20 or higher tier i think let's get into it rory let's do it so thanks to cedric spear cedric if

you're nice with a spear come on down to the commune because we could use your skills to kind of just stand at the perimeter of the commune and if there's any stragglers trying to get away, you can kind of, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no. I think what Kip meant was, what Kip meant was spearfishing, spearfishing for fish. That's what I meant. Not for men or souls.

That would be insane. Yeah, that would be insane. For soul, for fish, over soul. Yeah, exactly.

So just bring a net. Harvesting souls. Thank you to Juliana Bukowski. Juliana, do you want to bring a net down to the commune? We could use it for a bunch of different... Don't ask too many questions about what we're going to use it for. There's tons of legitimate reasons to have nets, that we need nets for fishing, obviously,

and catching stragglers. Yeah. It's not... I feel like you're making. Just, it's just, it's not, I feel like you're making it sound like it's a bad thing. We're just trying to keep people safe. If they try and escape, it's dangerous out there. We are trying to keep them safe. And we do that by getting them all together and dragging them back to the commune, yeah.

So if you're wondering why we need a net, Julia, it's because we need to catch the stragglers thanks to win win you are uh you're a first here in the commune we've been taking l's since we opened up yeah i'll tell you so uh we could do with a couple winners around here a couple more winners kind of inspire the others. Yeah, exactly. Just be like, hey, if you keep your heads down and harvest enough beans, you could be the winner like Wynn. Oh, you don't like harvesting beans, Wynn?

I'm sorry to hear that. It's going to be a big problem. Thanks to Stephanie Ann. Stephanie, can you step on knees? Because a couple stragglers are making a run for it. We just need to make sure their legs don't work so well. To keep them safe. To keep them safe. They don't know what they do.

I think that's what Jesus said. They don't know what they do. We need you to step on knees. Thanks to Lillian Tonner. Lillian Tonner sells toner for printers. Oh, very good. Is that like, you mean ink, presumably? Nope.

Nope, nope, nope. A toner is not a toner it's a very different thing it's for painting it's for printing can't believe I was so stupid yeah think

more than a think okay it's for printing paper with words on it so if you need words printed on it that's what toner is

it's exactly toner then that's what it is I was misled by the saleswoman it was yes it was her and i paid a lot more than i should have yeah oh the toner that's 15 dollars the toner that'll run you 120 thanks to rebecca mcveigh re quick. People are getting a f***ing McAway. We need to grab him. Grab him quickly, for God's sake. Step on some knees. Yeah, Rebecca's a dodgeball champion,

so we actually recruited her, headhunted her to the commune to kind of, we just thought that if we just, we don't actually have any dodgeballs here in the commune, we have rocks, and we figured if we just load her up with rocks, and she can kind of pelt people as they run away. And she has good shot it's it's been paying off so far great well that doesn't really sound like dodgeball it just sounds like throwing rocks at people it is that's

okay it is that's right that is kind of what it is thanks lastly but not leastly today to chance dawson if you go to bed early enough there's a chance you'll wake up at the crack of dawson because they don't wear trousers to bed. So the butt crack is just completely, completely out. So there's a chance you'll wake up at the crack of Dawson. Love it. Going au natural style. Very skunk apey.

Au nature. Skunk ape mode in bed. Yeah, that's what I call it whenever I have a goblin mode weekend of um netflix and ice cream going skunky going skunky mode um wish people believed in me though at the end of that weekend yeah no one giving rory a double yes to his activities at the end of that weekend um so thank you so much chance thanks to everyone we've shouted out today and everyone we're going to shout out in the coming weeks if If you haven't heard yours yet, it is very likely coming as soon as next week.

You missed it, buddy. Sorry. I guess there's a slight chance if you haven't listened to every episode. There's a high chance. There's a high chance. So don't expect it anytime soon. And guess what? Patreon is now unrefundable. Well, it is if there's a problem, but you know, if there's... The fun thing about Patreon is

you can say you're charging people a certain amount and just take whatever you want. No, we don't do that. You can just do that if you want. That would be illegal. That would be illegal. And we don't do it, obviously. You can say,

oh, you got triple charged for that week? That's crazy. Let me see if I can sort that out. Oh, no, another triple charge. Get in here and step on their knees. Step on their knees. They're trying to get their money back. So we will be back, of course,

on Tuesday with a brand new Paranormal Tale. And before then, if you're a patron, go check out those bonus episodes. Hell yeah. And until then, remember to live fast, investigate, and grrrr! Yeah!