This Paranormal Life - #363 Batsquatch - Terrifying Bigfoot Hybrid Stalking America

Episode Date: April 16, 2024

In the world of the paranormal, cryptids are terrifying enough as they are. Sasquatch. Chupacabra. The Squonk. There are more than enough scary beasts roaming the earth to keep paranormal investigators up at night. Unfortunately for them, though, there are certain creatures to be even more fearful of… enter the Batsquatch. Deep in the Pacific North West, an area already famous for Sasquatch encounters, lives a Bat/Bigfoot hybrid beast. Fused together in the molten core of the earth inside Mount Saint Helens, it burst forth in the 1980s to stalk the population of Oregon and Washington. Time for Rory and Kit to track it down and investigate.Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunitySupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeIntro music by www.purple-planet.comEdited by Philip ShackladyResearch by Ewen Friers Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Can vampires go outside if they wear a motorbike helmet? Where does wind come from? Answers to these questions and more on this episode of this paranormal life Hey Welcome back to this paranormal life. This is the weekly comedy podcast where every Tuesday You were joined by me Kit Krummel Venner this guy sitting across from me Mr Rory pars for a different paranormal tale where by the end of the episode we try to decide whether

said tale is actually paranormal or not. Hell yeah. How you doing today Rory? I'm doing pretty good. You know, coming back home here to Northern Ireland, which is where we are currently, is always a bit of a treat. I get to see my family again. I didn't mention it anywhere specifically.

I didn't mention that it's in... Yeah, well it's talk to us. Family again. I didn't mention anywhere specifically. I didn't mention that it's in... Yeah, well it's a pretty small country. Well, I think we could probably even give away more. I think we've actually been pretty vague. We didn't even say you're on a f***ing stream. We could actually load a gun and just kind of put it in our mouths and pull the trigger, too. We could do whatever we want. That's a real escalation. Realistically.

Yeah, there. And yeah, I know this is on a time release because it doesn't come out live or instantly. So I know realistically by the time people hear this, you won't even be here, but I will. Right, yeah. Because I live here. So I can say whatever I want, really. The damage will be done when I'm long gone. Right.

But yeah, it's nice to come back, see my family, see my friends. See your buddy kit I do have to start every morning by sleeping in the bed that I had when I was a child Which at this point is barely big enough to even fit my entire body My legs are kind of like dangling off the side of it when I wake up in the morning If I kind of roll to the side one inch I hit a wall if I If I roll an inch to the other side, I fall off the bed. It's very strange. Right, this is one of those beds. This is like the cheapest option at a German hostel.

It's kind of like you get into it and you're like, I think they made a mistake. I think this is a room for babies or this is some kind of cot. Yeah, I seem to have gotten the room for the long babies. So I think there's some mistake in my booking. So it's a little strange. It's humbling, you know?

I feel like I've come down off my high horse, my ivory tower in London. The ivory tower of you just sleeping in an adult bed. A big bed for big boys. And yeah, it's shaped like a racing car because I like to dream fast. Why is that a weird thing? Dreaming the fast lane. Yeah, now that you say it out loud, it doesn't really seem fair because whenever I come to London, I stay in a hotel and whenever you come here, you sleep in a child's bed. So now that we say it out loud, it does kind of work for me,

I will say. There was a great moment where, you know, as you said, when you come to London to visit, you arrive at the airport, hop on the tube, you're rushed away to hustling, bustling downtown of the beautiful city of London, staying in the hotels, we go out to eat at these restaurants. And yesterday we were on a group call before I flew and editor Phil was like, how's Rory getting there? Are you going to pick him up, Kit? And Phil was like, how's Rory getting there? Are you gonna pick him up, Kit? And I was like, no. I was like, yo, this Google me connection

is getting real choppy, guys. You were like, I actually, I don't know how he's getting home and I was like, my mother is picking me up from the airport. Well, I said, just get a taxi. I said, get a taxi. She insisted. She really did.

She was like, you're going to want to sleep on the drive too, because you're not getting a f***ing wink in that thimble you're sleeping in tonight. By the way, I downsized to a car for babies. A car for toddlers. It's kind of one of those little red and yellow push ones. It's like a Flintstones kids car. She's driving home, saying,

you know, I saw Stuart Little recently, and he sleeps in a matchbox and he seems pretty happy. He doesn't complain. Stuart Little actually keeps his little mouth shut. So I know what you're saying. You've built up a lot of independence. You're a great guy, an impressive guy.

You, you know, you live the way you want in life and you're kind of been knocked back a couple pegs, kind of when you come back home to record for these things. So as long as you don't kind of bring some of that weird baggage to the recording, because we have a huge case to get into and I wouldn't want it to get in the way that you have some kind of like childlike inferiority complex or something. No. Totally fine. My back's a little sore, but it's fine. Did you get at least a few hours sleep? You're not going to be too tired? I got what felt like negative three hours. I somehow woke up more tired than when I started.

Yeah, I went to sleep age 32, woke up feeling 48. So I feel like I've aged, if that helps. We are of course not really here to talk about what's going on in our personal lives. God no. And as I said, the last thing I want to do is dox our location because as always, we're bringing you that hard-hitting paranormal evidence that might get us killed honestly this week. This week is no exception to that rule with a giant case to get into. Rory, are you excited? I've got a cryptid for us. Oh, okay. It sounded like we were going into the ad and then you couldn't wait until after the ad to tell me what the thing was. You were like, I will be back right after a quick, it's a monster. I couldn't do the ad before telling you what it is. It's 19 feet

tall and it eats children's dreams. It's a monster. Anyway. Because just the weight of knowing what it is, it bears heavy on my soul. So I kind of need to get it out before the ad break. Speaking of today's sponsor, a lot of the people who saw this creature said, we better get help. Speaking of today's sponsor, we need Caspar to hook my boy Rory up with an adult mattress, because even a mattress on the floor would be better

than what he's working with this week. Yeah. A lot of the witnesses who saw this monster ended up in a square space, nine feet under in a f***ing box. Nine feet is commonly known to be six feet under. Oh, I had to bury them extra deep. Extra deep. Rory, you're right. We are going to cut to some ads.

We're going to be back after a couple words from today's sponsors with a hard-hitting cryptid case that, let's face it, our listeners have seen the title of the episode, they have an idea of what we're getting into. But Rory doesn't. No clue. So his life's about to be ruined. Stay tuned. All that and more after a couple words. And a reminder that this episode and every episode of This Paranormal Life is available ad free over on patreon.com forward slash

this paranormal life. Okay, welcome back. I feel like I'm getting a little flustered already just thinking about what we're about to get into. Right, it's the nineties. Love it. This is, I don't want you to feel like you're truly stuck in your kind of childhood years, but we are

in 1994, in April. It's nighttime in Pierce County, Washington State. Okay. 18-year-old Brian Canfield, a student from the nearby town of Buckley, weaves his way along a backcountry road through thick, gloomy forest, miles from civilization. Brian's old pickup chugs along the winding road, clearly struggling. Come on, old girl, don't fail me now. I believe in you, you can do this. Then it finally splutters and stops completely, in the middle of the road. Damn it, piece of crap, son of a bitch!

He tries the ignition, but nothing. He tries turning it over again and again, but nothing. Hey, let me tell you, I get this. As I said, I've just come back to Northern Ireland and one of the joys that happens every time I come back is I'm reignited with my car. Reunited. What did I say?

Reignited. Oh, I wish this thing would reignite. I wish it would burst into flames. I wish it would ignite. And I got the insurance money at this rate. But my car I have over here, which listeners of the podcast will know as little bastard, seen some problems in recent years.

And by recent years, I mean the last two months. Right. It's not doing great. It still works, but it's not doing great. To use an analogy, when Rory bought this car, it was less of like, um, getting like a pedigree puppy from a known breeder, and kind of more re-homing a terminally ill rescue dog. It was kind of on the downhill from the beginning.

Yeah, it was like adopting an airport drug sniffer dog that accidentally got addicted to the drugs And I kind of have to look after it. You never know when it's going to bark or shit all over the floor So you kind of just have to be on guard at all. Wow, you never really think about that, right? But that that is man I would read that novel about, no one ever talks about the dogs that go rogue. You've trained a dog to be a fiend. You've trained a dog to seek out heroin. Right. Like, like its life depends on it. How do you train a drug sniffing dog to sniff cocaine without giving it cocaine.

That's so true. Is the reason he can sniff it out is because he's tweaking so hard for the next bump that he's willing to like rip through people's suitcases to try and get some coke. I don't understand how it works. I've been thinking about this recently and I've kind of, I've been workshopping a TED Talk,

not that anyone's asked me to do a TED Talk, but I really think that if I nail this premise and maybe post it on medium.com, I might get asked to do a TED Talk, which is... Nice. We have barely started though, and we do have to get into this case. People for too long have looked down on drug users as bad people in society. They've gone down the wrong path. Their moral compass in life has been twisted and they need help, when really, they are

the entrepreneurs of the 21st century. I saw you sell weed to a child once. All right. I was a pilot scheme, a pilot scheme for research for my Ted talk. What I'm saying is if you take a crack head, their ability to procure crack against all odds, right. Perseverance. It's like watching a damn episode of The Apprentice.

They wake up every day with zero dollars in their bank account and every day they find enough money to fuel their habit. Um, so if we could kind of bottle that energy. Right. That drive. Not using drugs to be very clear. Not using drugs. We could bottle that drive, that entrepreneurship.

We can bottle whatever it is that's driving them. Put it in a needle and inject it between my toes. Now you mention it. I should start selling these kids harder stuff because the weed did not make them business people. If anything, it kind of took away a lot of drive. Like Rory's car, Little Bast, Brian's pick up is absolutely dead as a donut in the road. And just as Brian is about to get out and look under the bonnet,

he sees a shadow swooping across his headlights. Huh? What the? Thinking it must have been a bird, he grabs the door handle and just when he's about to step out into the night, something huge lands on the hood. The truck groans under the weight just when he's about to step out into the night, something huge lands on the hood. The truck groans under the weight. What he is about to encounter Rory would take the field of cryptid science by storm. While our listeners know that we're in Bigfoot County, aka the Pacific Northwest, don't jump to any conclusions because today's story is going to make a Sasquatch investigation look like a little picnic party for piss babies. Back on the road, if this truck wasn't absolutely biffed already, it's biffed now.

It's creaking like the damn flying Dutchman under the weight of this creature. This beast, no less than nine feet tall, stood motionless staring right back at Brian. Whoa. Humanoid in body shape, it had bird-like legs and what appeared to be a set of leathery wings folded on its back. Oh my God. Its body was covered in a dark, bluish fur and Brian described fangs and glowing eyes on a bat-like face.

What the f*** is this thing? Frozen in shock, he observed the creature. It remained completely still and stared at Brian through the windshield for several minutes. Although he was terrified, he later said he didn't think its behaviour was actually threatening, but more as he later said, in a state of rest. Just then, Brian noticed its clawed finger twitching and its huge wings slowly unfolding. At full stretch, the wingspan was as wide as the entire road, and with a few huge flaps, the creature took off into the night. As it disappeared into the darkness, Brian snapped out of his trunks and his pickup engine inexplicably came back to life. Rory, this is perhaps the most dramatic documented encounter with today's creature, the Bat Squatch. Oh god, I don't like this at all.

Hahaha. So this is presumably a huge bat-like creature the size of a Sasquatch, right? You said nine foot? Yeah, I guess. What are the quick similarities? We're in the Pacific Northwest. Like I said, this is traditionally Sasquatch country where they're pretty used to seeing, you know, along with kind of indie bands and seasonal rain, nine foot beasts covered in hair. God damn it. You know, cryptids is a big umbrella to fit a lot of creatures under. And I think sometimes we don't realize how good we have it on this podcast.

When the creature we're investigating is the squonk or a leprechaun. You know, the leprechaun comes at me in the night, I could just dropkick him into a hill. You know, I'd take that little guy down in a heartbeat. The bat-squatch? I'm done. I'm going to drop to my knees and pray to him. It's over. We've talked about it before, you know, like here in the UK,

we don't have really any large predators. I think I say it every time. I think the biggest predator in the UK is a fox. You could probably still dropkick a fox. In America, bit different, larger predators, other countries in the world, hippos. You ain't running a fight against a hippo. But this takes the biscuit.

This is not even a kind of mountain lion on a California hike that you might be able to kind of get up in your back legs like a bear and make yourself big and scream. The Basquatch is just... He is just whack-a-mole-ing, killing you instantly. He's like... This is the damn mountain from Game of Thrones, just twisting your neck like a bottle of Ramune.

Just popping your head off like that little bowl. It does kind of feel like a creature you would make up as a child, when you and your friends are arguing, it's like, well, my creature will just, you know, punch her. It's just like, good luck, mine's really strong. And like, well, I'll just grab him, then you can't, he can fly, he has wings as well.

And like, okay, well, what else is, he has laser vision, he has laser vision too, and talons, and he can cut through a car engine, like a knife through butter. And how big is he? A road. The size of a road. How big is yours? Eight foot? Nine foot? Mine is.

Great, okay. But the bat squash specifically. Rory, have we come across anything like this before? No, I don't think so. Mothman, kind of the closest thing. Glad you brought it up. Owlman. Because whilst Moth is nowhere near the name,

clear overlaps with the Mothman because although we're similar to a Sasquatch, characteristics of a bat, we are of course talking about a giant humanoid winged figure, that is Mothman all over. I don't remember where Mothman is associated with. West Virginia baby. That's where the statue is.

How could I forget? Where you can go pay tribute to the legend of Mothman and occasionally you can put dollar bills and quarters in his butt crack. Yeah, he's kicked up. As an offer, as a tribute. I don't know if you remember that but he has a kind of Kardashian level butt implant. The last time I had money shoved in my butt crack was when I was working down at the peppermint rhino. Okay.

Peppermint rhino? So at even lower stakes, cheaper version of spearmint rhino. Spearmint's a little too spicy. This is a very tasteful, milder version. Peppermint Rhino. That's the difference. I think I had some nice summer rolls with peanut sauce on a peppermint rhino

in Islington the other week. It's very tasteful. Roy, I think we shouldn't go one step further without getting a quick artist's interpretation of what this thing looks like. Okay, let's do it. I've got a pretty good idea in my head. Whilst there are many artist interpretations at this point in time in the future, back then this was all they had to go off of in the local paper.

Whoa! Okay, this guy is buff. He ain't missing chest day, day or wing day got this this guy would do very well that the peppermint rhino We've been taking all my tips We're talking about this this looks like it could be anime porn This is this is a this is a mass alright cam done. It's completely black and white I can't even make a single nip. Oh you kidding me look at those pecs this guy is jacked stacked I can't see it, but presumably there is a 9 to 10 inch hog no in between those thunder thighs no

Huge bat like wings as well like if anything is bad will be bigger given his stature This is it looks like a demon or the devil. It's not it's honestly not a million miles away from Christian Bale's Batman. Yeah maybe Ben Affleck. Looks like Ben Affleck's Batman because he's just a cube. Oh yeah okay. He's so wide. Yeah just in the sense that this thing's hench. I mean, we talk about it being humanoid. Humanoid normally means, you know, arms, legs, head.

But this thing, we can make out traps, delts. We can make out specific muscles. This thing is pretty clearly, when the witness described it to the artist, they clearly spent time detailing the kind of hunkiness of this beast. Yeah, when we described a bat creature, usually the prey for something like that is, you know, fruits, small mice, small woodland creatures. I think the diet of this creature is probably

a bit more anabolic. Okay, okay. You think this thing's juicing? Yeah, that's a buff bat Okay, we've looked at one image of this thing, but I don't want to get too bogged down and trying to draw too many conclusions Let's dive further into this investigation Brian Obviously drove home in a panic. I mean that truck was getting a workout He's probably swerving from left to right just trying to get home He's probably swerving from left to right, just trying to get home. His mother said that Brian was pale, his mouth was dry,

and his hair was standing on end when he got home. And all he said was he asked his dad to grab a camera and a gun. Nice. Smart move. They must have talked him off the ledge though for that evening because... Because I'm going to record my last will and testament and blow my brains out. They must have talked him off the ledge because they didn't return to the scene until the next morning. When he did, it was with his parents and a neighbour. They were desperately trying to find some evidence for what he'd witnessed, but none could be found. Oh! Well guess what bud, that's what happens when you wait 24 hours. With the paranormal strikes, you have to be ready for it.

Alright? If you see a cryptid, you go out that night and you go hunting for it. Shooting wildly into the forest hoping you hit something. Oh, you want to have a little nap? You want to sleep on it? Maybe we'll come back next week and see what's going on. He's hunting someone else. He's going for someone else. You missed your opportunity. That's why if I so much as see a glowing light in the night sky, I am dropping my trousers and bending over,

because I know the probe is coming. And if you're not ready for it, they're going to go probe someone else. I don't think that's the same thing. That's how it works. Why do you want to be probed? I want to investigate the paranormal. That's all I want to do. And if that's the price to pay, then bend over, brother.

Spread those cheeks. I think they're investigating you, not the other way around. I don't know how much data you're getting out of that. Other than you're not able to sit for the next couple days. Yeah, you have a point. I know in the world of missing persons, you don't... In the world of missing persons, they talk about the first 48. Yeah.

The world of the paranormal, it's the first 48 seconds. Oh yeah. Maybe milliseconds because in the time that it takes a starship to blink into your field of view, it's gone. It's in the Andromeda galaxy and the Andromeda star system. You're thinking about the first 48 hours? I'm thinking about the first nine millimeter I'm going to put into the back of this creature's head.

Cause I'm going out hunting tonight with the rest of the Dad Squad. Yeah, let's round up 48 to a 50 cal rifle. How about that? How about I give you a 48 second head start? Cause I'm coming for you now. I go 48, 47. How about I give you a 48 second head start? Cause I'm coming for you now. I go, 48, 47, he bites my head off. I die immediately.

I shouldn't have given him that head start. This story thankfully came to the attention of local reporter, CR Roberts of the Tacoma News Tribune who interviewed Brian and got the story on record. In the interview, Brian said, I was scared. It raised the hair on me. It was, quote, standing perfectly still. It stood for how long? A few minutes, several minutes. It boggles the mind hardcore. Stuff like this usually happens to someone else. I would argue that stuff like this usually doesn't happen at all, but I guess he is right. These stories are kind of all fun and games

until they happen to you. I don't like to make snap decisions about witnesses of paranormal events. Well done. There are usually a couple of red flags that we look for. Oh God. And sentences like, it boggles the mind hardcore Hey, our kind of red flags. It's the Pacific Northwest. It's 1994. He's 18 years old. This guy is a cool dude is in Nirvana

Right. I think he was the rhythm guitarist for Nirvana for a couple years So yeah, the language is gonna be a little more chill. It's a more laid-back. It's a chill kind of a vibe Hey, well if you don't like my character reference of Brian, let me give you C.R. Roberts, our reliable news reporter's assessment. He said, quote, Brian doesn't drink, he doesn't do drugs, he doesn't listen to heavy metal, and he's never played Dungeons and Dragons. He's also never seen a UFO. What does this kid do then? I don't understand that.

He just named everything I do every day of my life. Yo, that's, that's why you're a bad witness. And arguably a bad person. I just don't understand. I'm trying to build up a picture in my mind of this kid and what he does. And then they're like, they're, they're like, oh, he doesn't drink. He doesn't party. It's like, oh, he's like straight line then all days. No, no, no. He doesn't like school.

He doesn't like sports. Oh, OK. So he's more into the nerdy stuff. No, no, no. He doesn't play Dungeons and Dragons. He doesn't like any of that stuff. What does he do? What does he like? He drives his pickup late at night and probably works. OK. But I thought that was brilliant.

I mean, it really paints a picture that like, it is relevant information. We've seen it in cases before where reporters in the 1920s will say, this witness isn't a dreamer. They're not a beatnik. Yeah. And they're not a loose cannon. cannon. Sometimes reporters, they try to give you a sense of a person. And this kind of does, because we unfortunately have many times had paranormal witnesses who are obsessed with the paranormal already. That's a big red flag. Yeah, and back around the time of the 80s, 90s, you know, that was that was around the satanic panic as they call it, where things like video games and Dungeons and Dragons were thought to be more closely linked with the occult. So that's more of

a relevant statement I guess in the 90s. This seems a bit weird to bring it up now. This is probably right around the air date of X-Files and stuff. You know, this is pretty modern actually. Well this article in the Tacoma Tribune was the first time someone used the term bat-squatch by putting together Brian's description of a bat with a sasquatch. And although it sounds kind of silly, this reporter C.R. Roberts actually went pretty deep on the story. He interviewed not only Brian, but his friends and family too. He ended the piece with these words.

I believe, Brian Canfield, we face so many scary things these days. Drugs, gangs, AIDS, violence, divorce, poverty, Rwanda, tuberculosis, and North Korea. That for once, it's nice to just be scared by a monster. That for once, it's a random list. It's a random, it's a real snapshot of the 90s. I guess I get his point, which is the world is such a scary place with real awful terrifying things. There's something almost quaint about just something going bump in the night.

Yeah, you know, it's that old idea that if there was an alien attack one day, the one nice thing that would come out of it is that humanity would have to be united for the first time against the people from the stars. Right, yeah. And when we don't have the people from the stars, apparently we just start fighting each other. Yeah, like, you know, back then we were scared of North Korea getting into a nuclear war with the United States.

You like to think that if the aliens came down, we'd all turn our nukes on them. Yeah, I hope so. You want to make sure everyone does. Everyone fires everything they got, because you don't want there to be one country that's like, oh, we're just going to hang on to one. We're just going to hang on to one or two, you know. Everyone fires everything they got. Cause you don't want there to be one country that's like, ah, we're just going to hang on to one. We're just going to hang on to one or two, you know? I think we got them.

No, I think you guys got them. We're just going to hang on to one or two of ours. There's a giant crater at the White House where the Independence Day craft came down and all the countries around the world are like, that was close. That was crazy. Hey, it's probably a good thing though, right?

That we got rid of all the bombs in one big swoop. But Russia's like, yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you launch yours, Russia? Cause we saw, we saw like trails going up from all the other countries, but it didn't look like anything came up from you guys.

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, we definitely, I'm pretty, I'm like almost certain I press the button. Yeah. I'm like, I'm like, I like set a reminder on my phone to like press the button too. So I'm like, I set a reminder on my phone to press the button too, so I'm like, there's no way I'd never forget my iPhone alarm,

so I definitely for sure would have pressed the button. You would remember, because it's two keys have to be turned at the same time, which activates the button that allows you to enter the code, which then- Yeah, two keys, yeah, two keys, that's what you said, right, yeah. I definitely turned the two keys.

Well, one person can't turn to the two keys, it's two individuals, because they're quite far apart. It had to be done at the same time. I'm pretty sure. I think ours must be different because I definitely. What's in that bunker? Huh? What's in that bunker?

Just over there in the hill. I can see. Grain. Mostly grain. People wheeling something very large under a blanket back into the hangers. It's a bread factory with four grain. Okay. So they're wearing the hazmat suits because of the sheer amount of bread inside the bunker.

Brian ended his own interview by saying, quote, It did happen. I put my life on it. I have this picture in my head. I can't get rid of it. I kind of wish it didn't happen. Okay. I kind of wish it didn't happen. Okay, which is something we sadly do like to see from witnesses, which is He ain't selling a book. He ain't selling a speaking tour He actually kind of wishes the whole thing hadn't happened at all Thanks to Roberts making this story a kind of paranormal safe space The floodgates opened and others who read the story opened up about their own experiences and wrote to the newspaper. One witness, Rory, was liquor store owner Butch Whitaker.

Now, I don't want anyone getting hung up, stop laughing, on the fact that he owned a liquor store. Well, we are. I need you to know that, we are getting hung up. It doesn't mean he was drunk on liquor when he saw the Bat-Squatch. Okay. He owned a liquor store that during the day worked as an exotic pet shop. He also saw strange creatures in the night. Don't... Alright.

Alright. Ha ha ha. Very good. Alright, that's really funny. But let's not let the liquor store color what you're about to hear. Yeah. Business man Butch also had a private pilot's license. One night he was flying through the exact area that Brian had been driving through.

And the bat-squatch was flying alongside his plane for several minutes, borderline, tapping on the glass and waving at him I don't think anatomically this creature should be able to do that I fly the same speed like cuz the whole point about like birds I don't know I'm not a science guy I don't know a lot about science and biology and animals and the way the world works or anything really. Taxes, how to drive math.

Taxes is just civic duty really. Really exist in the modern world. But I do know one thing about birds. Okay. Their bones are hollow. Yeah. That sounded like I kill birds. I don't, I'm saying through science I know.

You can actually take their little legs and turn them into a straw. It's pretty cool. Uh, their bones are, are hollow. I believe that's one of the reasons why they can fly. Whether why they're light enough to fly is that their bodies are actually very light. Sure. Means that they can use the wings to carry themselves through the wind. This mother****** is sit, sorry, nine feet tall and made of what looks like solid

concrete. He is enormous. I don't see how physically he is even aerodynamic. You know what else is pretty big? Boeing 747. Yes. It's actually heavier than a bat squash and it flies, I don't know if you've checked, but pretty fast. Okay, and how many liters of jet fuel is the bat-squatch ingesting every day? We discussed he might have got Monster Energy drink. He might have a Red Bull sponsorship. I don't know. By the sounds of it, he got into a liquor store. He probably felt like he could lift a tree up that night unfortunately butch claims to have taken photos of the beast in flight but those photos have never

been seen sure maybe butch sent those photos off to be developed and the guy in the photo lab was uh i don't know wearing a black suit black hat sunglasses. Why would he be working in a photo lab? Okay, it could be a man in black intercepted the photos, or it could be kind of a my bat squash goes to another school that's why you don't know her kind of situation. Yeah. But as the years passed, this legend became embedded in the folklore of this region, the Pacific Northwest. And various sightings have been reported in the last 30 years. In 1998, a trucker claimed to have hit the beast with his 18-wheeler while transporting timber across northern Oregon. He claimed the creature was more like 15 feet tall, but with very short wings. Yeah, well no shit, its wings must have been pretty small

if it got hit by a truck on the highway. It would have flown away. He hit a man. He clearly hit a man. He's like, the creature's actually more six foot one. Its wings are almost imperceptible, and it goes by the name Carl. He was wearing a Jansport, which struck me as odd for a cryptid.

It had its thumb up like it wanted a ride. In its last moments the creature actually expressed an interest in not pressing charges. The only problem is, like in our other witness statements so far, there's really no excuse for not having evidence if you say you killed the beast with your vehicle. Well, the first person, the kid, if a news reporter came and investigated the case, why don't we have pictures of the car? They said that the thing's talons went into the bonnet and scrapped. You said the car was totaled.

No, I said it was... Biffed, were my words. You said the car was totaled. No, I said it was biffed, were my words. You said twice, it was completely biffed. Biffed beyond recognition. I said it groaned under the weight, but hey, the truck was pretty beat up to begin with. That's the problem. This thing was gobbling and scratches,

so you ain't noticing, you know. That's true. My car looks like it's been attacked by a night beast. But hey, maybe this is another similarity with Sasquatch. Sasquatch doesn't leave traces. It's very secretive. It's said that Sasquatch are amazingly good at hiding their dead. A Sasquatch can't die without six other Sasquatch mafia-style rolling it into a carpet,

putting it in the back of a car and driving it off. But there are more disturbingly recent sightings Rory, and maybe most interestingly, from a location that we've covered quite substantially before here on this paranormal life. We're going to get into exactly where that is and what the f*** was going on after a couple more words from today's sponsors. Rory, ten years after this beast was hit by an articulated lorry, in 2009 a group of hikers spotted something bizarre whilst hiking on Mount Shasta. Oh shit. Do you remember this mountain? Uh yes, we investigated it before in one of your stories, right? Yes. All the way back in 2019 when baby Rory and baby Kit, back when Rory fit inside his f***ing bed, we investigated Mount

Shasta. This thing is right at the top of the state of California. We're just south of the Oregon border, so potentially in the kind of roaming grounds of the Bat Squatch. But it's a very mysterious and mythical location. Several fascinating stories surround this mountain, including the theory that there is a city underneath the mountain itself. That's right.

Built by the Lemurian civilization, a race of perfect humanoids living inside the earth. We will not disclose whether that episode was a yes orids living inside the earth. We will not disclose whether that episode was a yes or a no at the end, but given it's already a paranormal hotbed it kind of makes sense that the bat-squatch investigation takes us here. Because at the foothills of Mount Shasta a group of hikers said they spotted a quote winged humanoid creature flying overhead with leathery wings and you guessed it the face of a bat.

Which sounds a lot like what Brian first described but they've said that the wingspan was an estimated 50 feet. I'm gonna google what's the biggest bat in the world because Cause I don't think bats get that big, but I do know that there are some birds, not that I think this is what we're dealing with today, but there are some birds where their wingspans are absolutely enormous. You would think that there are dinosaurs,

essentially, or dragons on earth. That's a good question, honestly. I believe the biggest bat is known as the giant golden- crowned flying fox. Shit. It is the size of a man. Holy shit! It's the size of a human basically but with bat wings. Basically, Scooby Doo went in the machine from the fly. This thing is giant. This is crazy big. Yeah, you know that an animal is big

when its name is just that of a bigger animal. Right. They're calling it, what's the biggest bat? The flying fox. Yeah, the rhino bat. You're like, holy shit. Yeah, look at the size of this thing. That is terrifying. That thing looks like Dracula. These are pictures of like a guy standing next to a bat hanging upside down.

And the bat is so big that it looks like just another dude hanging upside down from the trees in a black cloak wrapped around him. Very scary. I don't know why that kind of very thin, tendril-y wing span is so, I don't know, maybe as humans we just have evolved to be, no that's dangerous. Yeah. Not familiar. Yeah. I don ready for the possibility that we are dealing with an animal. However, Rory, in all the witnesses to date, they have described a wingspan of A, the size of a road, B, 15 feet or some shit, and then in this case, 50 feet! I have a problem with the first description of saying the wingspan was the size of the road. Go on. Because the guy saw the creature from the driver's seat of his car

He was inside the car. It was on the bonnet of the car Yep You're not able from that position to decide whether or not it's the wingspan of the road Well, maybe in your car little bastard where the things the windscreen smashed to pieces like some broken jam jar glasses It's not. It's fine. So everything looks like it's... Rory driving to the shop, it looks like he's looking through a damn kaleidoscope.

It's like thousands of colors and lights, it's still smashed to pieces. My drive to the shop is basically like Mr. Magoo riding downtown. Like I'm kind of like going off of cliffs, going underwater, driving out, perfectly avoiding busy traffic. Roy's like, how could you see something that was on top of your car? It's impossible. You know, that's not a good van.

You're not standing aside from it. You're not measuring it. You've obviously seen a massive wing flap in a moonlit night and been like, oh wow, that was enormous. Explain this this the people at the bottom of the mountain said that said that the beast was built like Hulk Hogan It was as muscly as Hulk Hogan It called them brother. I said that thing looks like it could talk.

Oh. That, then it isn't what then people think it is. That's insane. You can't be that large and fly. It doesn't work. It just doesn't work. We've never had it before that it's like, this thing was like a bug mixed with Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

It's like, what does that mean? Two completely different things, yeah. Yeah, like I saw a snake with the most legs I've ever seen. It's like, then it wasn't a snake, buddy. I don't know what it was, but you can't keep using these reference points. That's a pretty wild testimony. What I will say is the Mount Shasta reference

piqued my interest because the idea that the bat-squatch might be connected to that mountain might be a clue to its real origin. Now, it's possible that this thing is a freak evolution, like Sasquatch, or it escaped from a CIA laboratory where they're illegally splicing DNA. But one clue about BatSquatch is about these locations that it's seen. Because Rory, isn't it suspicious that Sasquatch has been around for maybe hundreds of years? There's very old Sasquatch depictions and descriptions. How come Bat Squatch has only been

around since the 80s, since the 90s? Especially if he's that huge, how are they missing him? There might just be a reason. It's May 18th, 1980, 8.32am in the morning. The residents of Schamania County, Washington were awoken to the frantic blasts of a nearby volcano Mount St. Helens The eruption completely altered the mountain blowing an enormous crater out of its north slopes killing 57 people causing 1.1 billion dollars of damage Hundreds of square miles were reduced to wasteland and the explosion was heard 300 miles away. It's now known as the most

disastrous volcanic eruption in US history. Wow. Rory, in case you haven't heard of it or seen it before, check out this footage. There's footage of this? And on Sunday May 18th at 8 32.32am, some of them die. For at that moment, without warning, the north flank of the volcano simply blew out in a shattering explosion heard up to 300 miles away. That thing is terrifying. And if you want to check it out online, you can actually see the eruption for yourself. And in all the chaos of avalanches, ash flows and evacuations,

rumours swirled among people nearby of strange animal sightings. It's said that amidst the panic on that fateful day, a winged creature was spotted around the eruption site, high above the crater, drifting among the ash clouds. Witnesses saw an ape-like creature with leathery wings and glowing eyes. Glory were these the first bat-squatch sightings. Was the Bat-Squatch born from the molten core of the earth itself? Did the Bat-Squatch live in the earth until, like Godzilla, it was awoken by the blast and set free? Got it, he was living in some sort of prehistoric cave,

separated from man, and then this shook him loose and set him free. I have to say, love that theory. I actually like it as well. That's pretty cool. Pretty different for a cryptid case, right? Yeah, don't know if we've had that kind of explanation before that this was a creature that existed

in kind of a pocket of the earth that was set loose when something this massive took place. I only find this one really interesting because we're talking here about a big disaster that claimed many lives. Yes. But if you know anything also about the Mothman, a creature that really does resemble the Bat Squatch, very similar physical characteristics. A lot of people say Mothman is known to appear either

during these kind of disasters or just before them as a bit of a warning, like a bad omen. But a lot of people say during big disasters in American history, that's when people have spotted the Mothman in the sky. Almost like an ominous warning, you know? So that could also be a cool theory that maybe this example wasn't the bad squash, but this could have been the Mothman. I can see you don't like that one as much. Oh, yeah. I, uh, ooh.

I might have to cut that, so... Just a theory. I think that's what the show's about. What the f*** are you doing? What the hell are you doing? What are you talking about? What am I doing sitting here, giving you evidence after evidence after witness testimony of the bat squash.

Right. Just saying it could have also been this other thing. So it's like, imagine going to the Ritz in London and ordering a filet mignon. And then when they bring it to the table, you're like, oh, do you know what would make this even better? Is if we cut it up into tiny pieces and then put it in a tomato sauce with spaghetti and have it as spaghetti bolognese. Yeah, that would actually be even better. I don't understand the analogy I think I think you have a

24 karat gold Case on your hands. Yeah, and now at the last hurdle one step from finishing the London Marathon You're like, oh, maybe it's bullshit. I didn't say it was bullshit. I said it could have been something else, a creature that we've talked about on this podcast before that maybe has even more evidence to back up its existence. I don't think that's true.

Than the Bat Squatch. I don't think that's true at all. The Mothman isn't built like Hulk Hogan. I know that for sure. I think he could fly physically. He's built like James Charles, I think, rather than Hulk Hogan. I will say that I like the comparison because that is fascinating. That is fascinating.

What does that say about the paranormal? What does it say that in these times when reallying nobody should be thinking about the paranormal, right? If we're here doing a comedy podcast, this is supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be a lighthearted investigation into the stranger side of life. Isn't it weird that in these disastrous moments of pure fear and panic, the moments where you should be just thinking in absolute survival mode, people are still saying they're seeing odd stuff?

Yeah, I mean you'd be surprised I guess how common it is. be just thinking in absolute survival mode, people are still saying they're seeing all it's stuff. Yeah, I mean, you'd be surprised, I guess, how common it is. You know, we've covered it on the podcast before where soldiers in war have claimed to see ghosts and demons and spirits. And that's kind of like, well, you guys should really be keeping your eyes on the real world. Because there's a big thing going on here and people need to focus, stop looking in the sky for angels. The main difference between the Mothman and the Bat Squatch is, you know, Mothman maybe he's a little spooky looking, but for the most part he seems kind of morally ambiguous, neutral, just kind of

a little guy that flies around. The Bat-squatch if he wasn't freed by this explosion he caused it No, this isn't no demon. No, this is an evil looking little guy It's not fair because if you remember the very first thing Brian said about it was he said When it was standing on his bonnet panting over him about to slice his throat He said I didn't get the impression that it was dangerous. He said he felt like it was just resting. Right. But again, I'll give you that. Another pretty, very similar crossover with Mothman, that

they're both morally ambiguous. Yeah. But Rory, what we love to see in this paranormal life is even more modern witness evidence from the World Wide Web. That's why we got him. Bring him in. Whoa. Da da da. He takes this way.

Whoa. Ching. He's chained up like Godzilla in the corner of the room. We do have one such witness from the internet who testified on Reddit just last year on the r-high-strangeness subreddit. The post is titled, I saw bat-squatch. They write, I've never shared this before, but when I was five, I saw three bat-squatches. My family lived in Montana, and I was playing outside looking at things with my binoculars.

Five years old? And they've already seen three? I've outside looking at things with my binoculars. Five years old? I started... They've already seen three? I've started looking at the clouds. That's one per 1.5 year, every one and a half year. And notice... Are you done? Yeah. And you have got some nerve as a guy who's made a career off of talking about seeing a f***ing fake cryptid when you were a child.

Not fake. It was real. And I only saw him once. I started looking at- you haven't even heard the story yet. I wish I could see him again. I started looking at the clouds and noticed a black circle super high in the sky just hanging there. It almost looked like three objects circling, but the more I watched it was getting closer and closer.

My gut said to run. I grabbed my siblings. Who? No, no, no, no, no. I grabbed- No f***ing five-year-old has ever had the thought, my guts telling me to run. When I was five years old, my gut was telling me, me likey mac and cheese. Me likey chocolate. I'm not five years old with a f***ing cigarette in my mouth saying

Something's wrong. I can feel it in the atmosphere. I know they're not five now. They're not five now! They're not five now! They didn't! They're older! They didn't have these thoughts! They're eleven! They didn't have these thoughts!

This is bullshit. I grabbed my... Let me finish. Let me finish. Let me finish! I grabbed my siblings and we ran under the tree in the yard to watch three gorillas with wings fly over us. It was freaking scary and surreal. They grabbed their siblings, so they grabbed their even younger brothers and sisters. Or older. Maybe older. Maybe... Could have been a...

Half siblings. They might have been 18 years old for all we know. They might have been half siblings. Half human, half bat! I think at five, you know a gorilla with wings when you see one. I don't think you do. I think that's what you just think an animal you haven't seen yet is. What animal would that be, Rory? It's like when you're a kid and you see think an animal you haven't seen yet is. What animal would that be, Rory? It's like when you're a kid and you see a turtle and you're like, oh rock lizard.

Oh yes, in the Pacific Northwest where flying fox bats are just flying around all the time. Yeah, great. They said, and don't laugh, don't laugh at what I'm about to say, the best I can relate to how they looked was like Goldar from Power Rangers minus the gold armor. There you go. I rest my case. That is just an example. Yeah, it does look a lot like the Bat Squatch.

I forgot what Goldar looked like actually. He's pretty badass. It kind of looks like they would have worshiped that in ancient times. Oh my God. Yeah. What is a buff dude in golden armor with bat wings. Look. Okay.

Bit of a rogue sighting at the end. And who is this, sorry, this witness? This five year old. They're not five now. They were at the time though. Yeah. Well, you were a little bitch at the time and you haven't shut up about it since. I was 14.

Didn't stop you. 14 years old. That's a lot later in life to have a paranormal experience. I didn't say that the Gorilla Man looked like a f***ing Teletubby, did I? Look, there are comparisons. There's comparisons with Mothman, obviously. But it's also crazy to think about, this is not the only cryptid of this type. There are other mythical winged primates in Southeast Asia, like the Ahul or the Orang-Bati.

The Owl Man of Mana. We covered him in a podcast. Granted, he's more UK based, but it's a very similar type of creature. But I think what makes this one interesting and compelling is its overlap with Mount Shasta and Mount St. Helens. And in fact, he looks like Hulk Hogan. Yeah. That's pretty interesting. compelling is its overlap with Mount Shasta and Mount St. Helens. And the fact he looks like Hulk Hogan. Yeah. That's pretty interesting. Rory, I appreciate that I've taken us on a bit of a wild ride today, but I believe that as mad as some of these witness statements are, I believe there's more to

this cryptid case than actually meets the eye or kind of seems just at first glance. It seems like there's quite a lot going on here in the Pacific Northwest. Yeah, I actually really like this case. I'm being harsh, but that's because that's my job. I do actually really like it. It's quite an interesting creature and quite a few sightings that, you know, are on the line of being reputable. Little disappointed that we've had this many sightings, including a guy who apparently killed it with a truck.

And unfortunately we haven't seen any photographs, even of the destroyed car or something, you know, if a newspaper is getting involved, it's a little disappointing that they didn't include any photographs of that or the site where the creature was spotted. You know, it's because it's a hard thing, a flying creature, isn't it? To get perspective. Whenever we're looking at a cryptid on the ground, it's usually pretty easy to tell what size the thing is, how fast it's moving, what it looks like.

Whereas as soon as we're looking up at the sky, it becomes very hard to figure out what is small and close, what is big and far, what does it look like against the sun, because I can only see a black outline. It becomes a little bit fuzzier, a little bit hazier. Well, it's a good thing he landed on the car then. So, that is a problem. It's the same when we're investigating sea beasts or lake monsters. Once you're looking underwater, it becomes quite difficult to actually tell what we're

looking at. Hey, it's a similar predicament to Many Weeks, which we have an extremely compelling story with next to no evidence. And we're kind of left in that familiar quagmire of, I mean, I've got the newspaper clipping in front of me written by C.R. Roberts and Brian's neighbor sums it up. I know he saw something, but I don't know what it was. Uh, we end up here pretty often. Um, we're not saying we don't believe our witnesses that they, that they

witnessed something and I don't even doubt that it's paranormal. Yeah. When it's our job as paranormal investigators at the end of an episode of this paranormal life to say definitively, put our careers, livelihoods on the line and say whether something is real or not. We're like judges, you know, the way judges threw out cases for not having enough evidence.

That's like us. They're like, he's dripping in the blood of the victims and it's like, yeah, but we don't know how, maybe he found that blood later. It's not enough. Let him go. Let him go. We have the murder weapon. It's just a hammer. It could have been hammering anything, couldn't it? Yeah, I agree. And as you said, you know, especially with these physical cases, not necessarily ghost ones, but physical ones, whether it's a cryptid, an animal, or a UFO.

A lot of the times we do agree. We think they did see something, something physical, existing in the sky, or the night, or the woods, or wherever. But can we prove that it's paranormal? Do we really know or not? A lot of times we don't unfortunately. Okay, well, let's not beat around this bush like the bat-squatch circling Mount St. Helens. Let's come down to a conclusion. Rory, yes or no today? It's a no from me this week. That was quick. It is a double no, sadly. Closer than I thought though. There was at least one or two points where I was kind of trending in the direction of being mildly interested in considering possibly giving it a yes. Gotta love Rory talking about our cryptid as if he's replying to a door-to-door salesman.

I will consider your broadband package, sir. I was mildly interested in your sales pitch. One of my favorite cryptid cases I've covered in a while. That was a great one. I absolutely loved it. Love to get up to the Pacific Northwest. Quickly, I know we don't have a lot of rules on this podcast.

Cause you know, we like to keep things fresh. We like to keep things free. You know, you do a case, I do a case. No more five-year-old witnesses. I draw the line at the five. If they're under 10, it doesn't count. I think anything they say doesn't count Because one second they can be talking about a crypto They saw and the next they're gonna be talking about Willy Wonka's chocolate factory

Things that don't exist and that they get excited about in their own little heads. All right, so we'll just say you know Don't I'm worried that we're trending in a direction where sometime it's clearly gonna be a no, and you're gonna bring Cora on as a witness. And I'm gonna feel too bad to tell her no, and I'll have to say, daddy's case is a yes. He did a really good job. That's a good idea. I need to get her to memorize some shit,

because she doesn't really understand much, but she can kind of memorize words. Yeah. You could do it out of spite. You'd be like, today we're investigating the made-up man of Twinkle Town. Rory, is it a double yes? What do you think, Cora? Cora's like, yeah. You're like, Rory? I'm like, I just don't know if we have enough evidence, Cora, to say today that the Twinkle Man is real. Right. In two years from now, like when we're really scraping the barrel, it's like, it's like, yeah, the guys said Peppa Pig was real.

Uh, and that most of the cast from Paw Patrol is real. Yeah. Yeah. We're flying to Australia to investigate Bluey. Yes. Next month. Yeah. Bluey was a double yes.

So let's see what happens with Bingo. Um, okay. That feels fair. yes, so let's see what happens with bingo. Okay, that feels fair. Because what's your earliest memory? Let me ask. F*** Tuesday. I don't know. I don't know. My brain doesn't work well.

Because I've always, I've never really related to people that I don't know if everyone else is lying or like I'm just being honest that my earliest memories don't seem to be as early as everybody else's. What was yours? I woke up age 16 doing my GCSEs. Woke up like Neo in the Matrix in a pot of goo. That was the first sentient thought you'd had. I gasped into consciousness doing my key stage three math exams.

My first thought of the real world is when I had sex for the first time, because I realized what was really important. Age 26. Actually, my first memory, I can pinpoint it, my first memory was when I was four years old. Rory accidentally uncovers trauma. Yeah. My first memory, he was about nine foot bat wings. No, I was, it was when I was four years old and I was, this must

have been semi-traumatic for the fact that I, it's the only memory I have. And then I don't have another memory for probably two years. Right? Like, why do we remember some things and others? It was me driving away from our home in Savannah with all of our suitcases in the car. Wow. And we used to live in this blue, this enormous blue house, blue wooden house.

And I just remember my mom saying, everyone wave goodbye to the blue house. Wow. And I was like looking through the gaps in the suitcases inside the trunk and like waving goodbye to the house. That's the saddest shit I've ever heard. Yeah, I don't think of it as a sad thing. Cause you know, I was probably just like

didn't really know what was going on. Sorry, it's not sad, it's just, you know, I think I was scared at the Sorry. It's not sad. It's just, you know, I think I was scared at the time. And it's, you know, I was saying goodbye, but I was like saying goodbye to more than just the house, you know, at the time I was saying goodbye to the country. And I guess you, you know, you had a good life here in Ireland. Yeah. Right.

It was cool. I just, I think about the house a lot sometimes. Yeah. You know, I don't think I've I don't I don't Get some crazy, but I don't think I've said hello since You know, I think a lot of things have been I've been saying goodbye to a lot. Sorry They got been saying goodbye a lot in my life, but I haven't really said hello. Sorry

We saw the cameras in the episode and then we can just talk about this as friends. Yeah, can we cut the cameras? Do you know what's funny you mention it? I'm pretty sure my first memory was, because you as a tiny lad lived in Savannah, Georgia. I, as a tiny lad, maybe age three or something, lived in Dublin. I don't think I even knew this. And we were there for like a year or something. And then my parents joke that they moved because I got the accent.

Um, cause I kind of came home one day and I was like, mom, dad, out in friends, heading out in the street here. And then they were like, oh shit, we've got to leave. Yeah. But, uh, yeah, my earliest memory that I can pinpoint is being in that house in Dublin that we were only in for like maybe a year or something when I was tiny. And I remember, yeah, being in the garage. And funny you mentioned that I remember being in the garage and like a bunch of boxes stacked up. We obviously had been moving and being out in the street just in front of the house.

So yeah, moving and leaving places behind clearly sticks in the brain. Weirdly resonates with a child's mind. I would really love it if we're talking about this for so long and it's like, I guess that is why it's your first memory because it's the first time there's a change in your life. As a child, you're not used to. And this pivotal moment, it goes on to shape you. So that first memory at four years old is what makes you who you are today. And then we're like, oh no, wait!

Two years earlier, I had a Ninja Turtle ice pop. It was f***ing sick. No, that was it. That was the first memory. It had gumdrops for eyes. And I got Raphael. It was amazing. Oh, yeah. Actually, whenever I was three, gumdrops for eyes and I got Raphael it was amazing. Oh yeah actually whenever I was three I pissed and shit myself out at the same time and it felt amazing. It was really cool. I think I actually remember coming out of a vagina if I think about it hard enough I do remember kind of meat curtains opening and me being born into the world.

I read that the other day there's a celebrity I can't remember who it is, who claims to remember being in the womb. Shut up. No, they don't. That's someone who must think they remember being in the womb. I don't even know if the human brain can form memories. Nicholas Cage says he remembers being in the womb. He said, quote, I could see faces in the dark. That is a click hole

f***ing headline, isn't it? That's not real, that can't be real. This has been This Paranormal Life, everyone. If you have enjoyed this investigation into that house- He was sitting in that womb like Shawshank Redemption. He's like looking for a way out, planning a scheme. Yeah, that really brings a new perspective. The end of Shawshank being related to exiting the womb.

Okay. If you've enjoyed this episode, if you enjoyed the investigation into the Bat Squatch, remember there is a treasure trove of absolutely wild and sometimes true paranormal cases over at patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life. I want to apologize before the podcast is over for referring to a vagina as meat curtains. That was the only thing that could come to my mind. Did you do that? I didn't even hear that. Yeah.

I think I blocked that out. Yeah. Like my early memories. You're like, that's one I'm not going to remember. Jesus. That's awful. You know, like when you're being born and it's like the curtains are being pulled back. Shut up. All right.

It's kind of beautiful actually. Over at Patreon, someone asked me yesterday, how many episodes of This Part of My Life have we done? I said about 370. And they were like, damn, that's crazy. And then I went, hold that thought, that's a lie. Because if you add up all the Patreon bonus content we've recorded over the years, you can bump that number,

those are rookie numbers, you can bump it've recorded over the years. You can bump that number, those are rookie numbers, you can bump it up to over 500 episodes. Wow. So if you have only listened to our public episodes, you haven't even scratched the surface, brother Hulk Hogan voice. Yeah. Head over to Patreon. The link is in the description of this podcast.

Check it out. I mean, if, think of some of the crazy stuff we're saying on the public feed What do you think is behind them regular curtains? Okay? All right regular curtains I said you just put an idea in people's heads And at the end of an episode of this paranormal life We traditionally like to shout out those who have supported us on the shout out tier of patreon. Hell. Yeah, let's dive in so a special thank you to Lisa Achilles. Go to Lisa if you need a visa. Lisa actually helped us when we were doing our US tour.

Bled me dry. Yeah, Lisa, she does cost, she does cost quite a bit of money obviously, but it's great. No, she literally, she's a vampire, she said, I said what's the bill and she said bend over blood So, you know in many ways that's better than paying financially so if you need a visa go to Lisa Thanks also to Heather new Heather new a lot like new coke Heather just thought she would rebrand. She just was feeling a bit bored one day. I like it's not a bit. She really just got a haircut

That's pretty cool kind of rebranded. That's a smart thing to do. You know, just Reinvent yourself now. Yeah problem is she was still a piece of shit. Oh still screwing over everybody in her life still being awful Which is a shame because Heather original was really nice So I don't know why Heather knew she tried to pivot it's really more evil Heather Yeah, and lastly today. Thank you to pervert paramedic. Oh my oh god No, I don't want to encourage These usernames know the fact that you you're on a list you should be on a list. The fact that you type this into a computer and named

yourself this. We have your personal information and it has been forwarded to local authorities. It's over. But thank you. Yeah it's a joke by the way. It is. I'm not we're not making light of I hope it's a joke. Jesus okay. You know we all we always say all are welcome in the commune Not you. Yeah, not you. Yeah. Yeah, yeah does and we do need paramedics, unfortunately So thank you not to you but to it good morning to everyone except pervert paramedic Thank you for listening to this episode of this paranormal life. Hope you enjoyed the investigation into bat squash Let us know if you've seen it even if you were were 5, we can't use it as evidence but we

will listen nonetheless. We'll be back next Tuesday with a brand new paranormal tale. Love ya! This is the first radio ad you can smell. The new Cinnabon Pull-Apart only at Wendy's. It's ooey, gooey, and just five bucks with a small coffee all day long. Taxes extra at participating Wendy's until May 5th. Terms and conditions apply.