This Paranormal Life - #377 Man ABDUCTED By BIGFOOT

Episode Date: July 29, 2024

Bigfoot, or Sasquatch, is the quintessential cryptid. It is known around the world, and yet little is actually known about the creature itself — it’s secretive and shy, with strong survival instincts. Which is all the more reason why Albert Ostman’s bigfoot encounter from the early 20th century is absolutely fascinating. Because, breaking with character completely, Bigfoot grabbed Albert out of his sleeping bag and stole him away to his home in the forest where Albert lived with the Sasquatch for days. In this episode we recount one of the craziest paranormal tales of all — the man who was abducted by Bigfoot!Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunitySupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeIntro music by www.purple-planet.comResearch by Ewen Friers Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A PAM reader can predict the future. What about a foot reader? Is lightning just God sneezing? Answers to these questions and more on this episode of This Paranormal Life! Welcome, welcome back to This Paranormal Life, the weekly comedy podcast where every Tuesday, your hosts Kit Grummelvenna and Rory Powers

get to the bottom of a different paranormal tale, deciding by the end whether it's real or not. Oh yeah, a really disturbing intro question right there. Never heard of a foot reader in my life. Get a foot massage and find out if you're going to die soon. At the same time. This is going to tell you a lot about why I am the way I am as a person. I know what you're about to say and I'm ready for it.

I've never had a massage in my life. Me neither. Hell yeah. That f*** people up when they hear that too. I don't know if you've heard had a massage in my life. Me neither. Hell yeah. That f**k people up when they hear that too. I don't know if you've heard like the reaction you get when you tell people that. Oh, get a massage? What you're telling me is to close my eyes

and let my guard down. Yeah. To loosen up. If anything, people need to tighten up. People need to be more on edge. Yeah. You know? Yeah. You see, I don't let people in in relationships in general.

So do you really think I'm gonna let a stranger touch my body? Hell no. Let go of my booty. I don't know, do they do that in a massage? I haven't let my wife touch my heart, metaphorically or lovingly. I'm not gonna let a strange man rub my shoulders with hot oil.

Going to bed every night, stiff as a plank, that's my happy ending. You know what's better than getting jerked off on a table? Knowing that the secrets in my head and the wallet in my pocket are safe from the MIBs and authorities. I might actually break that this year though, because I am running, I'm running my first marathon in authorities. I might actually break that this year though, because I am running my first marathon this year.

And I thought maybe as a treat, I would get my first ever massage afterwards, assuming that my body is just in kind of complete shutdown mode and needs to be kind of brought back to life like Darth Vader. Yeah, massaged. CPR come and massage. It's oneaged. CPR come in, massage. It's one of those things where like, I know I'm wrong.

Like people are like, you don't know what you're missing. I'm like, I kind of do know what I'm missing. I know that if I do it once, it'll be like the Rata 2A eating the food at the end of the movie moment. I'll be like, I'm gonna have a massage every two days for the rest of my life now. But I don't know what, currently, I'm living my life without it.

I've got this far without it. Yes, I do kind of crack every joint all the time. Oh God, dropped your notes, your fingers twisted in such a contorted way. You couldn't hold anything anymore. I need it, I do need one. If I ever did a standup comedy, I thought of this good kind of bit, this good riff about massages in a relationship and how I feel like when girls give guys massages, it's quite a nice innocent thing and it's like,

oh, you've got, I'll get these knots out of your back. It's like quite sweet. And when a guy gives a girl a massage, you got about T minus 45 seconds before those hands are on the butt. Right, okay. Like it's not a massage. You're not getting much out of that. You might end up with more knots after this thing goes down.

Jesus Christ. That is a good kind of problematic joke for a Netflix special, I would agree. Yeah, right? James Acaster does have a, if you haven't seen it, Google James Acaster on massages. He has a great section all about this in his one of his latest specials.

Sorry, he stole my bit. No, he doesn't. Cause he, I would say his jokes about massages might be better than that. Cause he probably put a lot more thought into it. But it's not exactly your joke now. It sounds like James Acaster heard about my bit, my massage a bit, beat me to the punch and knew that just because he's bigger than me in the stand up world,

not in the paranormal world, that he gets the credit. Most worlds. This is in the podcast world as well. One of the biggest podcasts in the world. He better watch his back, because if you come near me, I'm going to massage his ass. I'm going to turn him into spaghetti. We are not here to talk about massages or James A. Castor or any of this nonsense. We are here to talk about the paranormal.

So tense those bodies up. All right. All right. Tighten up. Engage the core, squeeze those butt cheeks, and get ready for a tense investigation, because the story you're about to hear is going to engage every survival instinct in your brain.

It's gonna be fight or flight, your hair is gonna be raised up in your neck, your eyes are going to... what's the opposite of dilate? Something like that. You're gonna be sweating in your seat. Rory are you ready to dive in? I guess so. We're gonna get right into a wild ride of a paranormaligation after a couple of words from today's sponsors. Remember, every episode of This Paranormal Life is available ad-free right now on Patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life along with many, many, many other

fun bonus episodes of this show. Check it out. Rory, picture this scene. You're in a tent camping in the woods. It's pitch black out. You're in a tent camping in the woods. It's pitch black out. You're just drifting off to sleep and suddenly you hear a branch snap outside the tent. You get the feeling there might be someone or something watching you. Hmm.

It's a weird kind of gut feeling, isn't it, that's like hard coded into us. That if we're like out in the woods or something like that, to be kind of alert to strangers or beasts nearby. Yeah, that's that eerie feeling that someone's watching from the shadows. And even worse when you're in a thin plastic tent, you start to feel like a little piggy in a straw house and brother, the wolf has started to puff. But thankfully, normally when you get this feeling there's nothing to worry about really, except for hikers who get mauled by mountain lions in California. Those guys should be careful, but most of the time for the rest of us it's fine. But after hearing today's story, you might want

to skip the next camping trip you get offered. Oh okay, something spooky happening out in the woods. I like it. It's autumn 1924 and Albert Ostman, a Swedish-born gold prospector, is fast asleep in his sleeping bag. He's camped out on the shores of Toba Inlet in British Columbia, Canada, miles from civilization surrounded by nothing but dense forests, lakes and towering mountains. He's completely alone or so he thought. Over the last few days he's become convinced that someone or something is watching him, following him. He's been looking for gold in the misty forests of the Pacific Northwest, but for

the last three days he's awoken to find his campsite a mess, his equipment strewn about the place and some of his belongings missing. He's awoken to find his campsite a mess, his equipment strewn about the place and some of his belongings missing. He's decided based on this behaviour, it must be some kind of wild animal. Maybe a slight relief that it wasn't a trapper or something, but still worrying. After all, it could be something small or a bear. He decides to stay awake in his tent and catch them in the act, so he lay in his tent pretending to sleep, fully clothed, holding a rifle. Wow, that's badass. The problem is, surviving the wilderness is tiring. Albert was exhausted and couldn't stay awake, so he drifted off into a deep sleep. Hey, let me tell

you, I get this. I haven't done a lot of camping in my life, but for years back in Northern Ireland, I was a camp counselor at a youth summer camp. And part of those responsibilities involved late at night, there was a rotating selection of people who would be the night guards, which we actually thought was kind of cool. We called ourselves like, what is it in Game of Thrones? The men of the wall. Oh yeah, yeah in Game of Thrones? The men of the wall. Oh yeah, yeah.

Something like that, men of the north. So we were like, we were like, oh, you've been picked to go to the wall tonight and you'd have to kind of stand watch up until a certain point. Yeah, at the end of the three day weekend, it was like, gentlemen, your watch has ended. Yeah, yeah. They're all saluted and shit.

Yeah, come back to the campfire for s'mores and hot cocoa. But it was, it was the closest I've ever been to activating some sort of primal caveman DNA inside my brain, where I am in the jungle, standing guard in front of the children of the camp, defending them with my life with a stick. I've been sharpening for three days Which is actually duller than when I started because my knife actually was quite small So it was really hard to do a point Yeah, ironically you were probably the most dangerous thing in that camp with a pen knife and a pointy stick But you get sleepy it gets late. It is still spooky because you hear noises and stuff.

Yeah, that adrenaline wears off. The natural instincts wear off after a while. Once you're on your third cup of hot cocoa, you start to get a little sleepy. Arguably they shouldn't have put me on the wall. I wasn't a very good watchman. Yeah, someone's playing Jeff Buckley's Halley You Youn on an acoustic guitar in the distance, it's getting, it's all getting a little sleepy. It was a record number of child disappearances that summer. There were like two kids left by the time the camp ended. They're like, we have to upgrade security, this is getting so bad. And I'm like, I could take another swing at it. They're like, you're yawning while you're offering this.

I've actually been like, I've got a second wind. You've been asleep for six hours. No wonder you got a second wind. So I can help you guys out. I'm holding a candle and wearing one of those old timey sleep caps. A honk snooze sleep cap, yeah. While Albert is asleep, before long, something reaches out of the darkness and grabs Albert's sleeping bag, lifts it like a sack. So Albert slides to one end of it Albert startles awake it felt like he'd been slung over someone's shoulder a giant hairy shoulder what because this thing was strong they've grabbed it him in his sleeping bag yeah lifted it like a laundry bag tied and not at the end like

a knapsack put it over their shoulder. He is bundled at the bottom. Then Albert hears tinned food clunked together in his knapsack nearby as this thing lifts that bag as well. He feels his kidnapper standing upright. He feels how high off the ground he is. This thing must be 8 foot tall. Then it trudges off into the night with Albert bagged up like a goldfish. There is a world where this is the end of our story. I mean, if I see that happen to one of my homies, I'm pulling out my phone and deleting their contact information because they are not coming back. They're done for, gone.

But this is not the end of our story. Albert survived these events and went on to share this story, a staggering story that has become a classic in the field of paranormal research. One of the rarest and most detailed examples of an encounter with what is believed to be Bigfoot. Whoa! This guy was captured by Bigfoot? I don't know if we've seen something like this before in this paranormal life. Some Bigfoot encounters, yes, but being abducted by the foot. Yeah, I think it's, you know, I guess people would argue whether or not

he has the mental capacity to understand what kidnapping is. Yeah. You know, because there's another world where you're in your sleeping bag at night. He steps on you and you squeeze out the top like a tomato ketchup packet. And that's the end of our story. So the fact that he's like, he's in this case, apparently understanding that there's a human in there. He's already, he's pre-bagged himself. So I'm just going to pick him up and take him with me. Yeah. I think I'd rather die. I think I'd rather he kill me then and there, then take me to a cave and give me a massage. If you catch my drift.

Because within 25 seconds he's getting to the butt. He's getting to the butt. Sasquatch is a male. It's not a massage. It's not going to be a massage. You know, as you say, does he have the mental capacity? We don't have many comparisons for Bigfoot's intelligence. I mean, he might be like some kind of chimp, some kind of super intelligent ape species. We can compare him to King Kong. And actually, that was all King Kong was interested in, was abducting fair maidens.

That's true. Specifically one, not just all maidens. He wasn't, we're not about to cancel King Kong. I think there was a romantic. I think we should still cancel King Kong they did I think with planes they killed him they shot him to death I'm just saying you know if you abduct one woman that is cancelable yeah I'm seeing this in a different context it doesn't involve a giant monkey. Yes, that's not acceptable behavior. Yeah. I've ended my speech. Kill the monkey.

Kill the monkey, actually. I'm on your side now. Rory, this is the abduction of Albert Ostman. Today's story is one of those rare double edged paranormal tales where one witness provides us an unbelievable roller coaster ride detailed account. So I'll be quoting Albert's testimony a lot today. It's double-edged because on the other hand, a lot of ton of other witnesses saw what happened. Almost zero, to be exact. Unless we're counting Bigfoot himself. So we'll talk more about evidence later, but for now,

back to Albert's story. Okay. Albert is shaken, confused, hot and scared. Call him Twining's the way he's bagged up. His captor is marching through the wild terrain while Albert struggles for breath inside the sleeping bag. I mean, I can see why he would be panicking because I don't know if you've ever been camping before, but when you wake up in the morning for some reason, it goes from a nice experience

to you being the most claustrophobic you've ever been within about seven seconds. You kind of like wake up and you're in your sleeping bag and you're like, oh man, it's a little hot and tight, isn't it? It's a little, it's a little, oh my, and you gotta like try and unzip it and it gets stuck. And then you do that thing where you open up just the first sheet of the tent.

So the mesh is still there and you're like, you know, just trying to get some fresh air. You go from being calm to very stressed very quickly. Yeah, back to the goldfish analogy. That is how I presume goldfish feel in a fun, fair plastic bag. This is cool. I'm getting to see the world, which is fun, but this is a... Yeah. It's a little... I'm not running out of oxygen. Am I? Help! It's going to be a stressful time.

Albert would later say, I could feel we were going up a steep hill. I could feel myself rise for every step. Isn't he Swedish? What was carrying? He was Swedish born. Okay What was carrying me was breathing hard and sometimes gave a slight cough. I tried to lives in Canada I tried I tried to get at my sheath knife and cut my way out But I was in an almost sitting position and the knife was under me I couldn't get a hold of it am I trying to make Albert sound

slightly cooler and more competent than he is Albert estimated that he was in this sleeping bag for around three hours of uninterrupted travel three hours it was very hot inside but luckily for me there was a small opening at the top otherwise I would have choked to death. During the long march Albert wondered who or what might be abducting him. A few days earlier he had hired a First Nations tracker to lead him to Toba Inlet in the first place. Albert described how this very talkative old gentleman had told him legends about the Sasquatch. At that time I him legends about the Sasquatch.

At that time I'd never heard of Sasquatch, so I asked what kind of an animal he called a Sasquatch. The man said, they have hair all over their bodies, but they are not animals. They are people. Big people living in the mountains. One old First Nations man saw one over eight feet tall. I mean if you hadn't already told me that it was Bigfoot who got him, I would think it's the guy who told him about Bigfoot. Ha ha ha! He told the guy, yeah, I'm here to find gold. The guy's like, cool, noted.

I'll be back in about 72 hours with a Bigfoot net and a tranquilizer gun. Yeah, our buddy is just like, oh, do I have to look out for Bigfoot? What does he look like? A lot like me, I think you'll find. Same height, same voice. Albert had been skeptical hearing these descriptions, but now he was being kidnapped by a huge human-like creature. His opinion had changed. Now I knew this must be one of the mountain Sasquatch giants the man told me about. Such a jump, such a leap here to go for.

He hadn't even seen it yet! He's been in the bag for three hours! It would take more than three hours in a bag for me to think monsters are real. To get to that point, you know? I don't know, man. I mean, the fact that you get kind of walked out to this territory and a guy's like what are you doing here searching for gold the guy's like really aren't you worried about the giant monsters who abduct people it's like not really and then I'm now a little 24 hours later you're being abducted is like now you're in a sack getting dragged into the forest. Alright, fine.

All I'm saying is, you know, one time I was at a festival, and I got locked for 45 minutes in a Porto potty. This is why you have claustrophobia. You have a claustrophobia issue. But I didn't start immediately thinking that monsters were real. Just because I was trapped a little bit. Yeah, but if you had left the Port-au-Loup door open and then you heard stomping of eight foot tall feet,

grunting and a hairy hand reached over and locked you in the Port-au-Loup, you might think that Bigfoot was here. Maybe I would, yeah. If claws are scratching down the sides of the toilet, yeah, sure. That was a scary time as well, because it really was. Can you just list off now all the times you've been trapped inside a thing? I got stuck in a sewer when I was three. No, the bathroom one was genuinely scary because it became very evident very quickly

that I was going to have to smash the door down, the front of the door. But because it's a porta potty and it's kind of free standing, the harder you bump against that door, it's going to tip the whole thing over. And then you're covered in number ones and number two. You are going to get there will be a shit tsunami that washes over you. It's like, I'm pretty sure I've seen Steve-O from Jackass kind of enact this in one of the Jackass movies. Yeah, it was a scary time. It really was. That'll scar you for life.

I actually don't suffer from claustrophobia. I never really ever thought about it until I met my wife. My wife is... She won't leave me alone. So I feel like I feel stuck. I feel trapped. Hey, Rory's right wing Netflix special is dropping hard and fast, bro. This is good shit, dude. It was a joke. It was a joke. Kit loves this one.

That is not where I was going. She is a little close for me. She, I hope she doesn't mind me. I'm not throwing her under the bus. I'm just saying a fact, which is like she won't get in a lift if Oh, if she can help it. Oh, wow. It's like, if, if there's a lift and that's the only way to get somewhere, she's like, how much do I want to do this thing anymore? It's like, well,

it's a doctor's appointment. So you probably do want, you know, she starts weighing up how much I need to get to where I'm trying to go. Yeah. And I think a couple members of her family are a little like that. I never really thought about it in my life, but it's tough if you have claustrophobia. Yeah, it's a real challenge. The one I mentioned that almost got me,

I've talked about in the podcast before, is when I was in South Korea and I went down into the tunnels that they were digging in the demilitarized zone. Oh yeah. And yeah, you cannot stand. It's so cramped. There's really not a lot of light.

You have to wear a hard hat. And yeah, you reach a point where they're like, if you even think you might get claustrophobic, don't go any further, because this is the point where you won't be able to turn around. Is that cool? Well, I wasn't claustrophobic before you said that. All right, genius.

All right, Brainiac. Nice one. Yeah, now I want to go back. All right, everyone back up. I want to go around. I was like, cool, well, I wasn't claustrophobic before you said that. All right, genius. All right, Brainiac. Nice one. Yeah, now I want to go back. All right, everyone back up. I want to go back. Let the nerd out. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, to be fair, I've not really found myself

in kind of positions like that. It's like, I'm not claustrophobic. I'm also not a idiot. I'm not going cave diving. Oh my God, those videos of the people that like squeeze themselves into holes that they can barely fit in. It's like bro, if I don't want to go cave diving, there isn't something wrong with me.

There's something wrong with you that you think that's a good idea. But this exists, willingly. Yeah, that's, I don't get that. Crazy. Don't like it. Before we go on as well, I feel like Kit's shining me in a bad light there because I made a couple funny jokes. So I just want to let everyone know that was a joke. I'm actually a really nice guy. I didn't want to bring it up,

but the camp counseling I did, that was volunteer work. That was, I did that just to help local communities. So actually it was a summer camp for underprivileged kids to come and- I thought it was like a summer camp for like 55 year old comedians or something. No, it wasn't. It wasn't.

So that was, I did that for, I mean, it's not, obviously, it's awkward now bringing it up on the podcast, but five years, I think, pretty consistent. You can bring up what you want because I'm deleting all of this. It's so irrelevant. So painfully irrelevant. You want to try and assassinate my character.

Let me have a chance to, you know, shine myself in a good light. Yeah. Weren't you at a pretty problematic demonstration in central London yesterday? I don't want to kind of say what it was because I just want to kind of give you the chance to clear your name. But like, it's just if we're listing things you've done to. I'm trying to get you a Netflix special here, bro.

This is how it works. It's how the entertainment business works. Seems pretty fucked up because it used to be you had to be a little goody two shoes. But actually, have you seen Shane Gillis? Bro is rich. I haven't. Is he? Who's he? He's your best friend by the sides of things. Bro, if you the more problematic shit you say, you'll be hosting SNL tomorrow.

That's a terrible idea. I don't want to do that. We should start. Bro, wait till the back half of this script. I'm being goody two shoes in the first five pages. The back five? Pretty spicy. It's too funny not to tell this story on the podcast with some redacted information. But I went to, oh, this is actually really awkward. It was actually another kind of charity thing that I did recently, which was talking to a group of kids

to get them interested in the podcast world. And it was like giving them, you know, almost like a mentor showing up and telling them what it's like, what it's like working in the podcast world, how to make it, giving them advice, letting them know how we got started. And, you know, I went and it was really great and the kids were amazing.

And I was just giving them lots of like really helpful advice like this sounds like I'm doing a bit I'm not it was like make sure you are having fun. Don't worry about the numbers You know use this as a launching point to just be Creative and have a great time with your friends and make something you're proud of and I was you know really feeling it I could like see the kids getting jazzed up But I've always really tried to stop there being any competition for this paranormal life and they something you're proud of. And I was really feeling it. I could see the kids getting jazzed up. But we're always really trying to stop there being any competition for this paranormal life.

And I was like one of, I think I was like one of three people that they brought in who'd worked in podcasting or radio to talk to these kids. And I was first, so I said all of that. And then they were like, all right. And then next up is this guy who's like a radio DJ or something.

He's going to tell the kids about, you know, making it in the podcast world. And straight off the bat, he was like, be controversial. Controversy gets clicks. It's like, you got to be crazy. You got to get crazy guests do insane shit. And I was like, I mean, do it be exciting? I was like, yes. I think what he's trying to say is be innovative.

And he's like, no, don't even copy everyone and say crazy stuff. And I was like, taking our friend aside, being like, you got to stop this man now. He's making monsters. Because the kids are taking notes. They're writing. They didn't write any of the stuff I said down. Yeah. They smiled and nodded.

It was painful. I just love the idea that as Rory was talking, giving us kind of sweet advice about the podcasting space, that guy, the radio DJ was sitting in the corner just thinking in his head, this guy is a bitch. This guy is bitch made. He beat me up afterwards in front of the kids just to show that he was right and I was wrong, unfortunately.

Rory Albert finally reluctantly reached his destination and the bag was dropped to the ground. He climbed out of it but because of his cramped position for the past few hours he was unable to leap to his feet and run. I tried to straighten my legs and crawl but my legs were numb. I tried to massage my legs to get some life back into them. Yeah don't make this sound like this is some crazy injury that he sustained. His legs are asleep.

They're asleep, yeah. He's asleep. It's like if you sit on the toilet too long scrolling Instagram, your legs are asleep. It's not that. It's not some crazy jungle disease he has where he can't run. I didn't say it was. I'm just trying to paint the picture of why he didn't because I feel like you are immediately attacking the story and I don't appreciate it, and you need to understand why he didn't immediately run.

Okay, you're right, because I would have questioned that at some point. I don't need you going Mark Wahlberg mode when he talked about 9-11. Like, what was it he said? If I was on that flight, it would have gone down differently. It's like, that doesn't help anyone, Mark. It really doesn't. I don't need Rory being like, bro, if I was in that cave with that Sasquatch, would have gone on differently bro. I just would have run.

I like that this sounds like me in that Porto potty. It's like I tried to open the doors, but my legs were numb. I'd completed Crossy Road on my phone, so my legs were completely asleep. As he lay there coming to, he could at last get a glimpse of his kidnapper. But he soon noticed there wasn't just one creature. He counted four Sasquatch who were chattering away to each other in some strange language. I can make out forms of four people. Two big ones and two little ones. They were all covered in hair, with no clothes on at all.

They looked like a family. Old man, old lady and two young ones. A boy and a girl. The boy and the girl seemed to be scared of me. The old lady did not seem too pleased about what the old man had dragged home." Surveying the landscape Albert realized he was in a small steep-sided gully. There was a clearing with a few trees with cliffs all around. The family had set up some kind of temporary camp in a dry alcove under a rock overhang. They had blankets woven of narrow strips of cedar bark packed with dry moss. It looked practical and warm.

Is this how you imagined Sasquatch to live, Rory? Is this pretty much how I imagined Sasquatch to live, to be honest? The f*** are you talking about? What are you talking about? You're asking that question and act like this isn't weird? This isn't the maddest thing you've ever said? This is incredible! This is incredible evidence.

How many times have we done bigfoot cases and we have nothing to show for it? We got a bit of shaky Patterson footage. Oh, lovely. And that's one of the most famous things of all time. This is unprecedented first-time testimony. Yeah, that's one way to word it. Other people have known better not to make these claims.

No, this is good stuff. There's a family of them. There's a family and he's figured out mom, dad, son, daughter. Well, did you think that there was only one Bigfoot over like a hundred years? I thought there was just... I don't know. Yes, kind of. We've had Bigfoot stories where they say he teleports and that you're fine with, this you have a problem with, That they just live in the woods?

Weirdly, I find it more believable that he teleports than he knits blankets. He knits blankets out of tree bark. Maybe one of the children makes the blankets, I don't know. Albert at this point is assessing his surroundings for escape routes. He did see two small openings at the end of the gully. He might be able to climb up and escape through But he knew it wouldn't be as simple as making a dash for it

The Sasquatch seemed to know it wouldn't be easy to escape because they weren't even really watching him at all They pretty much were ignoring him and were just foraging for food and things. Then it definitely is safe to run. This guy doesn't want to go. He doesn't want to get away Albert shouted, what do you fellas want with me? But the Sasquatch looked amused and kept chatting. Yeah, yeah. The Papa Sasquatch is like, I didn't know you were in the bag. I just wanted the bag. I wanted the sleeping bag. Have you seen our blankets? They're made of leaves. Your blanket is sick. Get out of here. Go. Yeah. He's like, what is this sick joke? What do you want from me? What do you want? Yeah. He's like, he's like rips it, ripping

off his clothes, taking off his pants. All right, do your worst, beasts. And I'm like, get the fuck out of here, dude. He's like, bending himself to the ground. No, don't ravage me, you foul beast. What do do you want to taste human meat? All right, do your worst. I moved my belongings up close to the west wall. There were two small cypress trees there. This would do for shelter for the time being until I found out what these people wanted with me

and how to get away. I emptied out my pack sack. All my canned meat and vegetables were intact. I had one can of coffee, three small cans of milk, two packages of Rye King Hardtack, and my butter sealer half full of butter. He found a small fresh stream of water at the end of the gorge too, but with this and his rations he would not be able to survive there long. All he had was a little bit of food, his rifle and a few shells, a knife, some matches and his box of snuff. That's the snorting tobacco.

Oh, snorting tobacco. Rory, what are you doing in this situation? I don't know, maybe trying the snuff. What is this? Snuff has been around for a really long time. I don't think it's actually always tobacco, but I think sometimes it can be like a kind of smelling salts type situation, but this is tobacco. So you can kind of snort it and get a hit of nicotine without smoking anything. I don't know if that sounds nice.

I don't think it is. I think that's why people don't do it anymore. Yeah. In this situation, I just don't understand why he doesn't run. His legs are asleep. No, they should be awake by now. They are awake by now. should be awake by now.

They are awake by now. They are awake by now. In this story, the way he's like, I stumbled to my feet through my blurred vision. I was just able to make out the creatures. He wasn't clubbed over the head. He was just in a bag for a couple hours. He shouldn't be this disorientated. You should have seen me, Roy, the time I got a mega bus from Anaheim to San Francisco. Eight hours cramped in a shitty little bus with no air conditioning. Whenever I stumbled out onto Fifth and Navy at 6 a.m.,

I could barely see. I was borderline legally blind. You get disoriented from that kind of cramped travel arrangements. You know, I guess it does happen now and again. It's quite a humbling experience. This is kind of similar to when you're wearing like a hoodie and a T-shirt and you try and take off the hoodie and the shirt comes too.

And it's kind of already over your head, but you're trying to pull down the shirt, but your arm's already through the hole. And you're kind of like, panic sets in really quick and you're kind of in this cloth labyrinth. And you're on a first date. You're always on a first date. And you don't have the abs for that kind of accidental, you know, you've been meaning to hit the gym

after Christmas, but it just hadn't worked out between work and other obligations. So the whole thing's a mess. Yeah, you're like, afterwards you're like, so do you like dad bods? They're like, that's not a dad bod. That's a granddad bod. That is...

It's weirdly saggy. It's a granddad bod. Well Rory, you'll be glad to know. Albert slept in the corner that night, his mind racing about what to do, but by morning he had decided to know. Albert slept in the corner that night, his mind racing about what to do, but by morning he had decided to run. Oh, okay. Yeah. He was gonna escape while their guard was down. I respect it. Get a full night's sleep.

You got a lot more energy. Next morning, I made up my mind to leave this place. If I had to shoot my way out, I would do it. I could not stay much longer. I had only enough grub to last me till I got back to Toba Inlet. I did not know the direction, but I would go downhill, and I'd come out near Civilization someplace. I rolled up my sleeping bag, packed the few cans I had, put the sack on my back, injected a shell into the barrel of my rifle, and started for the opening in the wall. But then the old man Sasquatch got up. He held his hands, as though he would push me back. I pointed to the opening.

I wanted to go out, but he stood there pushing towards me and said something that sounded like, Sokka, Sokka. I backed up to about 60 feet. I didn't want to get too close, I thought, if I had to shoot my way out. But maybe for the best, Albert started rethinking his plan. A 30-30 Winchester might not have much effect on this fellow. It might only make him mad. I only had six shells, so I decided to wait.

There must be a better way than killing him in order to get out from here. I went back to my campsite to figure out some other way to get out. What do you think the old man Sasquatch was trying to say, Soka soka. I don't think the old man Sasquatch is real. So. All right, well, don't tell me what you really think then. I have done a little bit of research on the subject. From my understanding of the paranormal, there are three possibilities for what this might have meant.

He could have been speaking Sasquatch language, in which case I have absolutely no idea. Right, yeah. Option two, he was speaking Swahili and he was saying soccer, soccer. Is that what that, is that Swahili for, oh, okay. Or three, he was speaking Japanese and it translates to is that so, is that so.

Weirdly, the Japanese feels the most likely. I kind of imagine this in like a anime villain style. Albert tries to leave and the Sasquatch is like, so this is how it's going to go. Is that so? Yeah, soka, soka. You know, it sounds kind of cool. Probably more likely than, oley, oley, oley, oley. Right, getting hyped up. Or it could be a trap like he's like, oh, so, so, so, so, and Albert is like, oh, what, what, what does that mean? Is that some sort of ancient Sasquatch word? And he's like, no, it means you can soak on these nuts.

He hits him with a club. So con these Sasquatch nuts. Oh, that is a disturbing possibility that he was saying suck. I mean, we're not not gonna get into the details That's gotta be number one on the list of words You don't want to hear when you're abducted by a cryptid just someone saying suck over and over again. You know That's bad Even if they were like die die die. I'd be like, ah I get it man yeah You're a monster you brought me out here sure let's let's do this thing, but if he was like suck sucky sucky But I

Wasn't sure what he meant, but then he started miming and I was all too clear It became clear to Albert He couldn't just march out of this valley even by firing at his captor. You could have Albert. He was conscious, he had very little ammo and was outnumbered. And for goodness sakes his legs are asleep. It's like trying to walk on two cheese strings.

He had witnessed the family climbing the cliffs nearby. They were very athletic and very powerful. He said that they could climb better than a mountain goat. So with the time it would take to reload his rifle and an uncertainty about the power of the rifle itself, he was reluctant to try and gun them down. I think at this point, you know, no one wants to do it. No one wants to say it, but you got to take one of the little ones hostage. Oh, interesting. But they don't understand the hostage situation. I mean, they don't understand probably what a gun is.

I think they do. They seem very smart. I don't know, man. I feel like if he grabs one of those young ones, I think the papa and mama are going to see red and just run over and tear his head off right there and then. You think so? It's just that instinct? Also, I think the young ones are bigger than Albert is the problem. They're still pretty massive. I think he ain't taking shit hostage.

Right. He points the barrel of his rifle against one of their head and they just grab it and bend it like a banana. He's like, all right, that's unfortunate. Yeah. And I know I should kind of be on Albert's side in all of this, but it does feel dark and intense how hard he's thinking about how many bullets he has to put in the heads of each Sasquatch, each family member. He needed to come up with a more cunning escape plan, like the one Rory's suggesting. By observing his captors, he started to wonder if he could exploit their curiosity, particularly the younger ones. Mmmmm. If I could make friends with the young fellow or the girl, they might help me. If

only I could talk to them. He also considered his supplies. Maybe he could use his belongings in some way. The family had shown interest in his snuff box as it was a potent substance. I was like, if only I could communicate in some way. He walks over to the mother, sucky, sucky. The dad's like, absolutely not. That's my fucking wife. Just punches him in the face.

I only know one word. Hey brother, you're gonna die. You might as well go out and try to have a good time. Am I right? Get the massage oil. I thought once of a fellow who saved himself from a mad bull by blinding him with snuff in his eyes. But how will I get near enough this fellow

to put the snuff in his eyes? He's talking like a man who doesn't have a gun. He has a gun. Like you haven't tried shooting anyone yet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I do agree Like if he thinks it might not have any effect It's like maybe try shooting him in the head and if it goes badly and the guys like what the fuck was that little? Peashooter yeah, then be like, haha. it's a joke. Yeah. Ha ha ha, little joke from where I'm from. Then try the snuff. Then try the snuff.

Try the bullet in the back of the sleeping dude's head and then try the snuff. But at least, yeah, even if, let's face it, I mean, I don't want to get into the grisly details, but even if it kind of maims him but doesn't take him out, you've created enough confusion and drama to probably run away. Even the loud noise you think would startle it. Yeah.

Yeah. Over the course of the next number of days, Albert played the long game. Insane. He's got nothing going on back home. He's got no one waiting for him. He shared food with the family, traded bushcraft skills, and slowly gained their trust. This is insane. Bit by bit, he won them over with his human characteristics,

food, utensils, and quite cleverly, micro doses of snuff. Have we even taken an ad break yet? I refuse to believe we're still in the first half of this story. How long does he spend with these creatures that we're not even taking a break? Is the end of this story just gonna be like,

it was now three years later, and he had slowly earned the trust of these beasts. Oh shit, this is insane. Yeah, he's watching these kids grow old. He's like, the young lad is doing driving lessons every Wednesday, so I think if I, while their backs are turned, while he's at the driving lesson, maybe I could sneak out. No, he's back. Oh God, I missed my chance. They're calling him Unki Albert at this point. He's basically part of the family.

How long we've been running for? 59 minutes. Okay, we're gonna take a quick ad break. We're gonna take a quick ad break. But there's lots to come! There's lots to come. In the story of Albert Osborne. His legs wake up in the second half.

Oh shit. It's going to get crazy, bro. See you after a couple of words from today's sponsors. But Roy, whether you like it or not, this is one of the only intact and fully kind of descriptive, up close and personal anecdotes we have of Bigfoot encounters. Most people never get this close. So believe it or not, in Bigfoot circles, there's a pretty important story.

And he does go on to describe them pretty well. The young fellow might have been between 11 and 18 years old, 7 feet tall, around 300 pounds. His chest was around 50 inches, his waist around 38 inches, wide jaws, narrow forehead that slanted upward around the back, the hair on their heads was about 6 inches long. The woman's hair was a bit longer in their heads, and they had hair on their forehead which had an upward turn, kind of like bangs. Oh my god. The old lady could have been anywhere between 40 and 70 years old, 7 foot tall, about 500 pounds. Unfortunately, his descriptions went slightly too far. The young fellow was quite friendly. The girl would not hurt anybody.

Her chest was flat, like a boy. No development, like young ladies. I could easily have brought this girl out with me to civilization, but what good would that have been? I would have to keep her in a cage for public display. What? Describing the mother Sasquatch, he definitely went too far. She had wide hips and walked like a goose. A push-up bra would have been a great improvement on her looks and figure. Oh, God! This really isn't an emergency then. None of this is. He went on into more detail on their huge size, muscled arms, padded feet, and chisel-like fingernails. But after six whole days with the family, he was ready to attempt escape again.

So one morning, while he was ready to attempt escape again. So one morning while he was eating breakfast the father and son Sasquatch were sitting quietly observing Albert when he took out the snuff box in front of them. The father instinctively grabbed the box off Albert and emptied the entire snuff box into his mouth and licked the tin. But very quickly he started to look unwell. So hoping for some relief, he grabbed Albert's coffee pot and drank the whole pot. Grounds and all. This did no good and he started to roll around on the ground, squealing like a stuck pig. His eyes were rolling and he moaned and moaned. With the son scrambling to help his father Albert recognized an opportunity and took off into the distance. That's all it took?

That's all it took? You could have done this day one Albert. He reached higher ground by the time the mother was alerted and started chasing him but his head start was enough. He fired a couple warning shots back in her direction but eventually he got far enough away and she retreated. He sprinted for his life saying he quote must have made three miles in a world record time. I love that the dad was trying to get better but just kept making everything worse. Like after the coffee he'd be like it's like it was too much liquid so we needed something solid. He grabbed Albert's weed brownies and ate 16 in a row.

He's now tripping balls. It's like, eager to calm himself down, he grabbed Albert's crack cocaine pipe and started smoking rock after rock. It's like, he's making everything so much worse. Yeah, it's very Looney Tunes. He drinks the coffee pot, steam comes out of his ears, ah woo! Yeah. the coffee pot steam comes out of his ears. After a day and a half of relentless trekking, he finally came across a logging party who helped him organise his return to Vancouver via a ferry. Interestingly, Albert didn't tell the loggers absolutely shit. He didn't

say anything about what had happened to him, which is of course common among paranormal witnesses He was scared of being labeled a madman. I did not like to tell them I had been kidnapped by a Sasquatch as if I had told him they would probably have said He is crazy. Yeah, you either don't want to tell them about your paranormal experience Or you're too embarrassed to tell them you went into the wilderness by yourself ill-equipped with not enough supplies and got lost for six days. In fact, Albert only felt comfortable coming forward about 33 years later in 1957, after he had heard many kind of similar reports of Sasquatch. He then gave a large account that we've been reading today to a researcher and author

John Green and did several interviews before his death in 1975. Wow, okay. Roy, do you want to hear just some words from the man's mouth himself? I feel like it puts into context a little more who this guy was. Yeah, well we have a recording of it. We do. Okay, okay. This is good. This sometimes, you know, hearing the voice of the witness or seeing a video of it, it brings them to life a little bit more. Cause it's one thing to just talk about them

in the stories that we tell, but seeing and hearing them themselves, oftentimes it adds some credibility to the case. I will say, he sounds a little different to the voice I was doing. Okay. No credibility to the case. I will say, he sounds a little different to the voice I was doing. Okay. No way to tell you.

Another miner and prospector, Albert Ostman, in 1924 was camped near Toba Inlet in British Columbia. While asleep in a sleeping bag, he was picked up and packed several miles. Daylight found him in a small valley encircled by cliffs. This was home for a family of these creatures. He was able to escape after six days by getting them sick on a box of snuff. Now let's listen to Mr. Ostman's experience. Well, there was four of them, and none of them looked alike. There was what I call the old man,

because I had no scale or any rules for measurement, but he was at least eight feet tall, and most of the at least eight hundred pounds. What I call the old lady, she couldn't have been over six, seven hundred pounds. She was probably seven feet tall and they were all covered with hair. I need subtitles. I actually didn't think he was speaking English for the first few lines. Yeah, you can understand why I didn't do that voice for the entire episode. I think it actually is more Swedish than you think.

Yeah. You kind of talk like this. Yeah. Seven, three, four, tall, six hundred pounds. It's kind of that sing songy kind of rhythm. Yeah. And kind of the pace of that like old man voice. It's like my grandpa, my very Northern Irish grandpa, he kind of talks with that kind of cadence,

or he'll be like telling you a story about something, kind of slowly misses a bunch of the words. And then at the end we'll just say, beshketch. And you're like, oh, right. Yeah, no, okay. Yeah. So that's what you were talking about earlier. You know, it's just like, best sketch. And you're like, oh, right, yeah, no, okay, yeah. So that's what you were talking about earlier. You know, it's just like, you kind of have to piece it together like a puzzle.

It's like, I highly recommend, if anyone doesn't know the internet comedian, Michael Fry, but he does a great series of internet sketches where he's an old man, but it's from the point of view of like famous characters as old men. So he'll be like, he's an old man, but he's Ash the point of view of like famous characters as old men. So he'll be like, he's an old man, but he's Ash Ketchum in a nursing home. Oh, that's a good idea. Just the fact that everyone kind of ends up talking like that. It's like, I, whenever I was young, I ended up being a

Pokemon trainer. And there was a local man, a nice man, Protestant man, named Professor Oak, a good man now. Aside from his voice, one thing that does make him look trustworthy and believable is the way he's dressed. You kind of immediately see him and you're like, this is the put together guy. It's the hat. Until you remember that there were no other clothes at that point in history. Right, yeah. He just, he's been wearing that since the day he was born. Yeah, he's a lot older than I thought,

unless that video was taken years and years and years after the fact. That was taken a couple years before he died, really. Oh, okay, so... So that video was probably like 60s or 70s or whatever. Good Lord. And this happened in the 20s, so... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, not entirely sure that helped your case but

glad that we saw it anyway for sure okay what does this case have going for it one thing we do know is this is Bigfoot country we know that there is a pattern of evidence of Bigfoot sightings in this part of the world this isn't happening in southern Germany or West Africa. This is pretty squarely in a region of many, many, many, many other sightings. Sure. He's in the British Columbia wilderness. If Bigfoot's going to be somewhere, this is it.

It's bad that your first thing you have going for your case is, hey, it's the right continent. That's that's one tick, right? That's one good thing amongst many other good things. He was also interrogated by a police magistrate, A.M. Naismith, at the time that he came out with the story in 1957. He was a trusted and skilled man of the law. Naismith wrote an affidavit that said, I found Mr. Osmond to be 64 years of age,

in full possession of his mental faculties, of pleasant manner, and a good sense of humor. I question him thoroughly in reference to this story. I cross-examined him and used every means of endeavor to find a flaw in his personality or the story, but could find neither. So that's something, too. It's both the right country and a policeman said he was nice.

Yeah. I admit we've come across a lot of stories like this over the years where it's just one bloke's testimony. And that therein lies kind of a huge, huge problem because it's not really evidence. No, it's just a story that you're telling. And look, I get it. I have hosted many episodes of this show before that have been based around one man's word. And I will- Need I remind you, a man's word is one of the upholding pillars of the pyramid of truth. The golden pyramid of truth, yes, you are correct.

Along with hearsay and- Rumor. Rumor. Legend, I think, is another one. And yeah, we really need to write these down. But I think as we've said before, the wilder the claim, the more evidence we need in our stories. If he was saying he just saw Sasquatch or saw maybe something in the woods,

that would be one thing. He lived with them for six days. And some of the descriptions in the events that take place in this story are just insane. So to have no evidence or photographs or another witness involved, that's not a good look. It's not. No, he was kidnapped on the way there, so he was basically blindfolded. He didn't have a camera? Unfortunately, he couldn't... No, it was the 20s, it was the 20s, Rory.

And I know you're gonna do that thing where you say, you're gonna Google when were cameras invented. They had cameras. They did not that type of camera. They didn't have a cannon point and shoot in 1924. Don't argue that he did, he didn't. But yes, it would have been nice if he had at least tried to mount an effort to try and find these guys again.

If he'd gone back to Civilization and said, all right, look, we're going to set up a party. We're going to... I have a general idea of where this could have been. I've looked at the maps where I got saved. That would have been nice. That's more valuable than gold. Bigfoot's skull. Right.

If you come back with that, that's worth all the gold, maybe in the world. You've literally found the missing link. You found a creature that science says doesn't and shouldn't exist. That's way more valuable than any nuggets you're going to find in a river. Are any details about the way the Bigfoot live? Does any of that seem believable? No. Okay.

No, no, no. Actually, even further from how I assume a creature like this would live. Wouldn't have a weird little... Why does he... That's not even how animals live. Like, to have... It basically sounds like a little human home. He's like, mommy, daddy, son and daughter. Tell stories and sit around a campfire. And it's like, no, that's not even what happens in animal tribes. It's borderline Goldilocks and the Three Bears. He's Goldilocks, by the way. I get that they're supposed to be kind of human, but this is... Yeah.

Yes, I would agree. I think if we were to talk to a primatologist, an expert in an animal that might be similar or some kind of genetic cousin to Bigfoot, they would probably say this. I would guess, I would venture to guess that this is not what they would have in mind. I don't know if chimps or bonobos or gorillas live in nuclear family units.

I think they do obviously hang around with their kind of nuclear family, but I think they also hang out in a kind of gang of other extended family members. I don't think it would be four animals living in a cave, like with a white picket fence. No, no. Having like a good old American marriage and like, yeah. He said she had a fringe. He said she had a fringe. Oh, this story. No, this is insane. How dare you? How dare you make me spend time in the end

contemplating the minor details of this story. This is a great story. This is an all-American story by a Swedish man. This is one of the greatest stories in the history of Bigfoot study. And it's a no. It's a no, for sure. It's a double no. There is quite a lot of pages actually. This is the story of Albert Ostman, the Swedish liar. Yeah, Kit made the ad break so late in the episode because he knew I wouldn't come back in the second half. So he was like, I'm just going to wait till 50 minutes in. Archie, Archie, I really like this story.

It's a fun story. I really don't talk because you have nothing nice to say. If you don't have anything to say, don't say anything at all. It's your birthday. It is. It's changed the topic. Well, don't say that because this will be coming out, I think we're recording this way early, this one.

Yeah, it doesn't matter. It's coming out way later. Don't you want to get birthday wishes, even if they're late ones? It is my birthday, yeah, today, so how dare you present this to me? This is your present! This is my present! This is your present! This is my present!

I spent a lot of time on it too! You spent half the episode trying to assassinate my character, telling everyone to look out for my right-wing Netflix special I also then you call me a bastard for accusing you of presenting a story that wasn't real and then right at the end you say oh yeah by the way happy birthday I did make Rory work on his birthday and I also when he got here this morning I said I forgot your present that's not not a lie. And you're leaving tonight as well. The present got deleted, the present got,

the present got delivered on the day that I left to come to London. Oh, it's such a good present too, so. It's crazy. Oh, it's crazy. Yeah, that's convenient. You'll get it sometime. Yeah, you'll get it sometime, yeah, whatever.

So yeah, I hope this episode just goes to show how much I care about you and how much. Apparently, whatever. So, yeah, I hope this episode just goes to show how much I care about you and how much me and everyone in the commune hopes that our gracious king of the paranormal commune, one of the kings, has a great birthday. Thank you. What age are you now, you old bitch? So mean. Yeah, you're older than me. So mean. You should have at least hosted a kind of a very believable UFO story or something as a treat.

Yes. That I could have been like, damn, this is a meh. What a gift that you've given me. I did host a very believable UFO case yesterday. You made me relive the horrors of being trapped in a porta-potty for 45 minutes. I didn't want to unearth that. I thought I left that last year. I'm going to have to unpack that. That's going to be a long evening for old Roar Dog. So this is probably coming out, a full calendar month after Rory's birthday.

Probably close. He's probably not getting many birthday wishes today on his actual birthday. So still drop him that happy birthday, Rory, on the YouTube comments if you're watching on YouTube or let us know your own paranormal tales or suggestions at thisparanormallifepodcast.gmail.com along with a little sign off with happy birthday Rory. Yeah, you know, and if you can't, you know, leave a comment on the YouTube,

some people don't like using YouTube, maybe they're audio listeners and you still wanna give Rory a little present, head over to patreon.com and just sign up for one month of our most expensive tier. That's asking a little much, I think. No, it's like, it's not really that much, is it? It's just like, hey, just sign up

for the most expensive tier, stay on it for as long as you want, six month minimum though, otherwise, is it even really a present? Six month minimum. That's quite a lot money month minimum. The most expensive tier. Because we normally only ask people, like even the most expensive tier, you're only supposed to do for kind of, we only have to do for one month to get a reward. You get a really cool reward actually. And then I'm kind of giving you a gift back, because you give me the

gift of financially supporting the podcast, and what do you get back? You get a limited edition Commune coin made of real gold and silver with this paranormal life Commune insignia on it. You get a shout out at the end of the podcast. You get a weekly extra episode and bonus episodes on top of that. That's actually, that's kind of a steal.

You're actually, I think, getting more than I'm getting. Yeah, you know, now we're talking about it. That's actually not a steal. You're actually, I think, getting more than I'm getting. Yeah, you know, now we're talking about it. That's actually not a bad idea. This is like when Homer buys Marge a bowling ball for a birthday. Like you could just get yourself really a gift by gifting Rory on his birthday. Yeah, that's a nice little loophole.

That's a fun way to do it. So check it out, patreon.com. forward slash this paranormal life. Link is in the description of this podcast in your podcast player of choice. Actually, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't do that actually, because I just thought if you sign up to the Patreon, that actually goes to supporting the show. So like, you know, that pays for kit that you fill in the studio and stuff.

Yeah. But now what I'm getting like a fourth. So I'm just going to put my cash app in the bio or like my PayPal or something and just do it direct. I veto that. You won't get anything from it. You won't get any rewards or anything, but I'll just, you'll just know that I really value it. So we'll do that instead. We'll do that instead. Probably going to delete that. patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life. Check out the links. There are lots more big foot investigations where that came from. We've done them in the links. There are lots more Bigfoot investigations where that came from. We've done them in the past. I think if you want to hear a funny one, check

out our first ever Bigfoot investigations in the early years. I think it's one of the first episodes of TPL. If you want to see a believable one, check out the Skunk Ape episode. No spoilers when I was pretty believable. It really was last year, I think, the skunk episode. And there are more Bigfoot investigations to come because this ain't the end of the story. I'm marching into British Columbia, but naked with some massage oil trying to get rubbed on by an eight foot stallion. Yeah, I'd say this is an all time low for us with the whole sucky sucky thing

But I did host an episode on Valentine's Day about a guy who had an alien girlfriend Yeah, that was fucked up. And there was some pretty pornographic evidence that was presented in that case that in hindsight I'm not necessarily proud of. Yeah, awful. Yeah, so now we're even I would say At the end of episodes of this paranormal life We'd like to do a quick shout out to some of our patreon supporters. Hell yeah. So a

special thank you today to Hannah Albone. Hannah funny coincidence that's actually another word that the Sasquatch said to Albert in the cave. He got a bit worried about Albone. Albone. And he was like yo what? And he was like no Hannah Albone it's pretty cool. Right she do you're what? And he was like, no, Hannah Albone is pretty cool. Right. She do you know, you know, Hannah, she's another paranormal investigator that comes out to look for Sasquatches, but also Albone. Okay. Time to leave. Don't wait six days.

Thank you, Hannah. Thanks. Actually, lastly, but not leastly today to Elias Keir Saba. You can't believe a word Elias says because it's all Elias Kier Saba. You can't believe a word Elias says because it's all a liars. It's all a lies. So if they so much as tell you, hey, I wouldn't go in there. I think there's a tiger loose.

Go in immediately. What they're saying like, hey, I don't think you should put all of your income on 23 red. That seems really irresponsible. Double down. No, but they're all a lie that's not the definition all alive knowing whether something's layer not you're just assuming everything's a lie and that's like the sage advice if they say hey have a good day have a bad day okay have a bad they sound nice they sound really nice actually I'm glad you

believe them you gullible son of a bitch thank you Elias gear salad thankier, Sabba, thank you to Hannah, thank you to everyone who supports us on Patreon. Thank you so much, we are going to be back with some more shoutouts next week. Happy birthday to me as well, happy birthday to me. That's what I was just about to say, yeah happy birthday Rory, our glorious commune leader, one of them at least, and what do you got planned for your big day? Thank you. Well I got a dip after this too so what are you doing? Well we got a little time right? I figure we could go get a drink or something. Nope, I'm getting because it's 12. I got a dip after this too, so what are you doing? Well, we got a little time, right? I figure we could go get a drink or something. I'm getting, because it's 12. I'm going to get the 12.15.

I'm going to get the 12.15. You're arguably too late already then. So if you get the next one, if you just bump it one later, we could like go get a drink or something. I'll stand at the station in silence, kind of waiting on the next one, I think, if I miss the next one.

That's what I'm going to do. All right, well, I'll come with and we can kind of chat while you stand and wait for the train. No. No. You could do anything but that. You could do anything but that for your birthday. Kid's gonna wait till my legs are asleep and then do a runner. Happy birthday, Rory.

Please give him a little shout out when you get the chance. If you see him in the street, buy him a cupcake, because I'm not doing it. We're going to see you on Tuesday with the brand new Barrow Novel tale. Bye bye.