This Paranormal Life - #381 Are There Giants Buried Inside the Grand Canyon?

Episode Date: August 27, 2024

In 1909, a story appeared in a local newspaper claiming that two men from the Smithsonian Museum in Washington had made an unbelievable discovery - They had uncovered a series of hidden tunnels that stretched deep into the earth, filled with ancient treasures, mummified bodies and ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics. So, what's the catch? They discovered all of this… inside of the Grand Canyon in ArizonaFollow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunitySupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeIntro music by www.purple-planet.comEdited by Philip Shacklady Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do aliens celebrate birthdays? Could I trap a ghost in a jar? All of these questions you can find the answer to on This Paranormal Life! Hello everyone and welcome back to This Paranormal Life, the comedy paranormal podcast where every week your paranormal investigator buddies Rory and Kit dive into a brand new paranormal tale and come to a conclusion at the end of the episode as to whether or not it is true or it is false. Every week our lives are on the line deciding what we need to take seriously while we need

to go out in the night and hunt for it with our pitchforks and our torches. The metaphorical night, I don't know how much we've actually been going out into the night physically with pitchforks, but I will go on my computer at night and research things. You don't go out you don't hunt anymore Never have never will brother too dangerous out there. I send my minions What I call my nieces and nephews. I kind of look things up get the lay of the land get the kind of rough danger level Yeah, but assuming it's not instant death, I send out the minions. See, I'm the opposite. I've actually been going out so much in the night that the daylight

has started to kind of sting my eyes a bit. And it started like the, even the sunlight starts to hurt my skin. You know, just even kind of being outside in the day is unfundrable. You've been bitten lately, bro. Cause you're a vampire, I think. I'm not a vampire. I'm not that you're mentioning I'm just realizing the the blinds are pulled. Yeah

We've got a kind of artificial light here No, no, it's two in the afternoon as well. Now that you mentioned it though. I did get bit by a bat Yeah, okay. So could that do you think that could have anything to do with it? Why did you look so blank and expressionless when I asked you have you been bitten recently? Because I was just thinking I was like, have I been bitten by anything? No, no, what a weird thing to know the bat Yeah, yeah, I forgot about the bat. Yeah, that like quickly kind of which was weird because I I actually thought the whole thing I might have dreamt it because I swear to God he was a man a second ago You know

Then he became a bat right in front of me. Oh, so he did. Oh, so he did. Okay. Yeah. So it's a vampire, a vampire. No, no. So I'm thinking maybe the whole thing was like a hallucination or something. Cause I did hallucinate for about two weeks post-bite.

Yeah. Well, that's, that's, I'm starting to think the whole thing was maybe a fever dream. That's the transformation process. You see, transformation from a dream? It is hard to imagine, but you see Rory does like to sleep kind of like a maiden in a medieval novel, kind of window open, naked, sprawled on a bed, a silk sheet, tastefully covering his nipples. My exposed ass kind of just lying

there from amongst the sheets. Right, ready to be chowed down on. Right. Not like that. No. Like a vampire bite. Like a vampire bite. And again, I thought the entire thing was just a dream that I had, but now I'm starting to think maybe that really happened. You look delicious by the way. You're so pale. Have I mentioned that before? You are glowing. Welcome back to This Paranormal Life. This is a very special episode of This Paranormal Life, actually. Is it? It is, Kit. Because we're doing something today that we've never had to do before. Because recently, when I was back in Northern Ireland on a recording trip, something happened to us.

Aside from the vampire bite, we were moving past that really quickly. Something arguably worse happened than the vampire bite. For the first time in the history of this podcast after seven eight years of doing this show. We lost an episode. I thought we were going to tell anyone we lost an entire episode. I were really coming clean about this sat down. I hosted it kit listened.

We did the whole thing from start to finish. I think an hour and a half later. We then stopped recording listened back and the file was completely corrupted. Yeah. It's, the audio file sounded like two bumblebees talking to each other. And it was like... It was like... Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz a clip on Instagram, trying not to just completely give the gig away, that we had lost an episode being like, oh, I was just recording some idle chatter in my day to day life.

And this is what it sounds like now. Can anyone help? So a couple of people, to be fair, did try to help, but I was not able to recover the files. So for the first time in seven years of podcasting about the paranormal, we've come close before, but we've never missed a full episode. This is it, is the first time. We lost it.

So immediately we started thinking about what we should do. Should we just re-record it? Should we burn it and just never cover this case? And what we settled with was leaving it a substantial period of time and then coming back to it and recording that case once again, knowing that our attention spans and memory is so short that we will have completely forgotten the story.

I forgot we lost the whole thing until you just mentioned it. No idea what we're talking about today. Exactly. Genuinely no idea. No clue. Genuinely. Which is really worrying because at the time it seemed like it was really important.

Even for me, like hosting it, I was like slamming my fists. I think someone cried at one point. It was this huge thing. And then as soon as we stopped recording, we kind of just, to create more space in our brains, just erase the files because we got another podcast to record. So that's what we've done. We've waited some time. We're coming back to it today. Let me check if we're recording this. We are. Don't do that to me now. We're coming back to it today. Let me check if we're recording this.

We are. Don't do that to me now. We are recording this. Finally recording this. Everything's gonna be fine today. But this is really exciting because... We both now get to redo this case from the beginning. And possibly we might even come down on a different conclusion. Not to say the original conclusion was bad.

Are we going to say what the original conclusion was? We don't know what it was because it's lost forever. So we don't know what it was. I think I can take a guess. So, with everything to play for, with everything on the table, it's time to dive into today's episode for the second time. To be clear, second time for us, first time for you. First time for you.

For everybody. No one's ever heard this before. It's very exciting. This is all fresh. It's exciting. This is going to be amazing. And I do remember this episode of the podcast. It is an incredible tale that we're going to get stuck into right now after a quick

word from today's sponsors. Okay, our story begins on April 5th, 1909. A story appeared in a local newspaper called the Arizona Gazette, claiming that two men from the Smithsonian Museum in Washington had made an unbelievable discovery. They had uncovered a series of hidden tunnels that stretched deep into the earth, filled with lost treasures and ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics. The confusing part of the story though, they discovered all of this inside of the Grand Canyon in Arizona. About about the what?

That's right, is this starting to bring back memories Kit? Yeah, it is starting to jog the old memory, all right. Yeah, this seemingly incongruous sentence. Hieroglyphics, ancient Egyptians in the Grand Canyon. In the Grand Canyon. This is like finding a sarcophagus in New York City. Granted, they have a few because I think they've got some pretty good museums over there. But in the wild, in a tomb, in a sewer. Now, this story is full of twists, turns, bizarre paranormal theories, and even a few conspiracies. So, let's get stuck in. The story goes that way back in the early 1900s, the Grand Canyon was home to a number of timber and mining operations. But eager to protect the canyon, President Teddy Roosevelt wanted to declare it a national park,

which would shut down all operations in the canyon. So knowing that this was going to happen, knowing it would become a protected site, locals knew that there was only a small window left to mine the shit out of it. Oh God. One of those people was explorer G.E. Kincaid, who headed down the Colorado River and into the Grand Canyon. Now, Kincaid was hoping to find gold, silver, copper, but what he really discovered was far more valuable and far more... PARANORMAL! Christ.

Sorry, it looked like you were falling asleep for a second there. Your energy was kind of dipping, so I just wanted to- THROW IN A BIG WORD! I was just listening. Okay. like you were falling asleep for a second there your energy was kind of dipping so I just wanted to throw in a big word just the listen okay I'm I supposed to display energy through listening to you tell a story I just I remember the first time I told this if you want me to do the wall asleep multiple times so I'm trying to make a few more bits jump out okay or I'm quite awake as he floated down the, he spotted a suspicious cluster of rock about 2,000 feet up the canyon's wall. Thinking it could be a patch of valuable minerals,

he tied up the boat and went to investigate. As he approached the canyon wall, Kincaid debated how exactly he would climb up the sides to get to these minerals. But that question would be answered for him soon because carved into sandstone in front of him were hundreds of steps. Hmm. Now Kincaid knew at this point that there was no going back, so he grabbed his gear and began to climb.

At the top of the steps there was more than just minerals. There was an opening, a tight cavernous tunnel that stretched deep into the canyon. So he lit his torch and crouched inside. Okay, we have an opening. This is very exciting and we have steps to it. I will say not unheard of if we are likening this to a kind of ancient Egyptian situation. Yeah. The one thing which always blew my mind and I'm sure came up when we talked about boy King Tutankhamun before is even in the kind of late 1800s, early 1900s, when the British explorers were kind of staking their claim to

discovering Tutankhamun's tomb and all these amazing things in Egypt, they were far from the first people on the scene. And these tombs have been looted and looted again over thousands of years. They were probably looted the week after Tutankhamun was buried. They've been looted so many times that there is almost nothing left in these places,

such as human ingenuity. So it would not be out of the question if there was something cool here in the Grand Canyon that other people would have found it first. I mean, this does sound like a PR statement from the British Museum, where they're like, hey, people have been looting this shit for thousands of years.

When we turned up, all the good stuff was gone. All the good stuff was gone. Yeah, we found a crown with a couple of jewels in it. But you know what people took earlier? The scrolls, the scrolls, which knowledge we can only assume was a couple of jewels in it. But you know what people took earlier? The scrolls. The scrolls, which knowledge we can only assume was much more valuable than the gold. This is the director of the British Museum in court. It's like, if a man robs a bank and takes a million pounds in notes,

are the police really going to run after the peasant on the street who lifts but a single coin? You stole everything. You took everything. You stripped the walls. Literally. There's nothing left. Oh, but we wish we got the scrolls. Oh, damn it. Oh, that would have been good though, the scrolls. Yes, I agree. We've been around this world long enough to know that finding mysterious caves in the middle of nowhere, We've been around this world long enough to know that finding mysterious caves in the middle of nowhere, it's a weird thing, but it's not a unique thing. They're everywhere, especially in unexplored areas. For example, a couple of weeks ago, I went into a cave and that's where I met Dennis, the guy who bit me. Oh, right. So he has a name. So he was a human.

You said a bat bit you. What? He was a human. He became a bat. I don't know if the bat had a name. Why do you not know what a vampire is? You, like, we've had episodes about vampires, but on this occasion, you let a guy in a trench coat with big pointy teeth invite you into his cave. I went into the cave. I went by my own choice.

I wanted to explore. Yeah, I wanted to find some hidden treasures. And I knew it wasn't a vampire because his name was Dennis. And vampires, you can tell by the name. If they're a vampire or not. But he was a vampire. If his name is Vlad. If his name is Dracula. I think he lied. You know? So you're telling me Count Dennis was a vampire? Yes, I am. What have you ever met a cunt before? Especially one that lives in a cave.

I don't know, Sesame Street? He was pretty chill. He was a vampire, actually, now that I remember. He did like to count and do math, but I think he had fangs. Yeah. And a cape. He was a vampire, wasn't he? Absolutely. All right.

Okay. I need to call Dennis. Let me just ask you the last question on the whole thing. Okay. What did Dennis sound like? I don't want to, I feel like if I do an impression. No, just do a quick impression. Quick impression.

I'm just worried if I do an impression, it's going to put the idea, like the vision of a vampire in your head because maybe his accent and the way he acted. But you said he was a regular guy. He was very regular. He lived in a cave who's called Dennis. Yeah.

I just want to know what he sounded like to make you feel safe and that he wasn't a vampire. So he didn't talk for a lot of it because he was kind of upside down. Yeah, right. And then the first thing he said was, hh, so he did that. That's actually worse than I was even expecting

because he's not a cat. So if someone, who hisses? Honestly. His accent was kind of weird. It was like... And then he... From there, it was mostly biting. Look, brace yourself, folks. This is just the tip of the iceberg finding this cave. Things are going to get a lot weirder.

Kinkade slowly crept deeper into the tunnel. Hello? Anyone in here? Huh. What's that on the wall? It looks like markings of something. It's a cat. It's a cat.

It's a cat. It's a cat. It's a cat. It's a cat. It's a cat. It's a cat. It's a cat. It's a cat. It's a cat. It's a cat. It's a cat. tunnel. Hello? Anyone in here? Huh.

What's that on the wall? It looks like markings of some kind. The walls of the cave were covered in strange symbols and writings, almost like Egyptian hieroglyphics. The path in front of him jetted off in several directions, leading to multiple rooms and chambers, like an intricate maze. This wasn't just a tunnel. This was a city.

Rooms had shelves stacked with pots, there were huge cooking areas and what looked like a stone dining hall? To give you an idea of how big this complex was, Kid, according to Kincaid's writing, he claimed that as many as 50,000 people could to live here. Now it's a ghost town. It's nothing like a pyramid, by the way. Just in case anyone at home is just imagining because of the whole ancient Egyptian sarcophagus thing

we started thinking about. But you mentioned there was a kitchen. There was a kitchen! With pots? Man, and a stone dining hall. I assume the table's made of stone. How big is the table? It's 50,000 people.

That's a long table for sure. Yeah, it kind of stretches off into the horizon. Look, 50,000 people could have lived here. That's how many people could have lived here at one time. Did they? Probably not. Kit, I know this sounds insane, but if you remember,

we once actually did an episode of the podcast about a guy in Turkey in 1963 who knocked down a wall in his basement and discovered a secret underground city. Yeah, unfortunately I kind of do remember that. Well you should remember it because it was your story. Pull up some photos of that shit because even though I made that sound amazing, I don't know if 50,000 people were living down there. If you need your memory jogged, here is a illustration of the city

that Kit talked about in his episode. Yeah, that shit is crazy. Bro, I need to- It's crazy. It's an ant's nest going underground. I need to start smoking weed and read up all about this tonight, because yeah, I'm getting fired up

just looking at that image. Okay, maybe we're heading towards a different conclusion already. Not that the first one was bad. I want to reiterate, not that the first time we did this, it was a double no. Who knows what it was, but this is good. Kit definitely wasn't on board. I don't love the precedent of getting me fired up about your case by using my case. All right, because that feels like I'm doing a lot of legwork and I'm being tricked

into believing something I might not believe. Well, don't worry, Kit. There's a lot more to go in my story today. Kinkade explored for what seemed like hours until he came across the largest room of them all. A room that would soon be known as The Crypt. Now, this room was stacked, Florida ceilings with platforms supporting what looked like ancient giant mummified bodies. It was at this point that Kincaid realized that he was in too deep, literally. If he was gonna properly excavate this site he'd need some help. So he took some notes, ganked a few artifacts, sure, and once out he sent them to the Smithsonian Museum in Washington

requesting aid to help further his exploration. And to his surprise, they agreed. Not long after, G.E. Kincaid returned to the site, this time with Professor S.A. Jordan and a team of 40 researchers to properly excavate the site. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be to be caught in that situation, trying to message across America at that time in history, something absolutely crucial? We need to telegraph Washington and get them to send help out to the Grand Canyon. You go to your local general supply store and you're like, sir, I need to send a telegram.

They're like, of course, sir, come this way. We've got a, we've got a Morse code set up here. So you could just, to Washington, let me wire it up here. All right, and all right, you're good to go. Take it away, chief. Yeah. And you never learned Morse code. And you're like, yeah, sorry, I've just,

sorry, no, sorry, I just, I didn't sleep much last night. So my head's kind of away. So Morse code, that's the, that's the doot, doot, doot. Yes, that's the, yeah. It's the one where you tap the message. Okay, I can do that. I can do that. Anyone could do that.

Everyone knows it. He's like, yeah, you learn at school. Yeah, I learned at school because I definitely went to school. I did. I didn't spend my teenage years grave robbing. I learned beeps. I did learn beeps. And then he's like, he's like,

he's like, just you'll remember it. Just do it. Tap into the instinct. Hard cut to Washington. Go f*** yourself. The glob blank pink knob sky water hole. I think it's the Koreans again trying to hack us. Yeah, the Secret Service are like,

sir, there's a man in the Grand Canyon that claims his mother is a jellyfish. Should we investigate? I don't know, I really don't know. I remember when I was growing up, I got like a book, cause my dad was big into Cub Scouts and like boy Scouts. And I remember getting a book

that was like a survival guide. And one of the things was like, you can use this flashlight to signal SOS in an emergency situation. And I remember reading that and getting the flashlight and like staying up at night, like being like, come on, you got to learn this. You got to learn this because this is going to happen to you. I've seen enough movies and TV shows. You're going to end up on a desert island

at some point in your life. And you need to know how to signal to a passing ship that this is an emergency. In the UK, something people do is the Duke of Edinburgh, which is the, where you learned kind of outdoor skills. I didn't do it. Obviously that's why I'm a podcaster and you, uh, my wife did it. Danielle did it. She did it at school. Um, but she often fondly reminds me that she did the Duke of Ed and did her like final expedition or whatever.

They send a bunch of teenagers out into the wilderness to survive for a night and, uh, they just called for like Chinese takeaway. They got hungry, got a bit cold, called for Chinese takeaway and get to work. I think you didn't pass. You didn't pass because you used technology to solve your problems. I feel like it should be a disqualification. But hey, if you were able to morse code the Chinese delivery place, your location in coordinates, maybe you do deserve the qualification. S.O.S. you forgot the sweet and sour.

Sweet or sour. Sweet or and or sour. Now as I said, Kinkade, Professor S.A. Jordan, and a team of 40 researchers went to excavate the site. They started taking detailed notes on the tunnel, its contents, and the symbols on the wall. But the more they studied, the more confused they became. This cave had Egyptian style hieroglyphics. It had metal

swords and cooking equipment that was incredibly advanced for a primitive civilization. Why are you laughing? They don't know anything about it. I mean, they don't know what civilization it was. I'm not like carbon dating this yet. I am by the way, being so kind. Even as the words are leaving my mind, I'm like, why is this the problem I have with this? My other problem is the cave isn't real. That's the other big one I might bring up at some point.

Not the fact that the artifacts are misplaced. Like hieroglyphics, coffins for giants, swords. It's almost as if a guy just jumbled a bunch of ancient history he thought of in his head together and then told people about it. No, it's not. It's almost as if these were gifts from... Look, I'm not getting into it. We've got a lot more to go. Please contain any questions or problems you might have to the end of the story. Preferably once the podcast is over.

By the end of the expedition, Kincaid and his new team had mapped out as much of the underground city as they could. In the end they discovered living quarters, temples, weapon stores, and more. Once they finished, Kincaid and his team packed up all their research, photographs, and artifacts and sent them to the Smithsonian, alongside their theory that the people who lived in this city were a highly advanced civilization that somehow came from Egypt or Asia. Hmm.

Well, it's a good thing they did pack it all up, send it off, because they can come out with whatever ideas they want. Right. But the people of the Smithsonian, the good people of the Smithsonian, are the experts. They will figure it all out. Yeah, that's the idea. You are the ones gathering the information. You send it to the people who know the history of the world,

the people who you think can be trusted. But maybe we're about to find out, Kit, that the Smithsonian, they're not exactly who you think they are. Hmm. Obviously, sending off all of these artifacts along with this conclusion is a pretty wild claim to make, but Kinkade was confident with his decision. Kinkade, are you sure about sending the museum all of our research material? What if they think we're crazy?

That's why we need to send it to them, Jordan. To prove that we're not. You saw those tunnels, that sight, those symbols. We need to go back, explore, tell the world what we've seen. And I know that when the Smithsonian sees what we've discovered, they'll give us all the help we need to truly uncover the secrets of this ancient city. Unfortunately, the Smithsonian stole all the artifacts. Stole all the artifacts, erased all evidence of this cave ever existing. Not only that, but Kincaid and Jordan were never seen again.

But does that mean that we don't have any proof? In for today's case, there could be something, there could be some pieces that tie this whole thing together. And we might just see some of that evidence right after a quick word from today's sponsor. No, let's just, no, let's just don't cut ties just yet. Yeah, let's not get carried away because I just asked you for a bit of evidence and you kind of, you then started, I'm en queuing up the ads and saying,

well, let's see what there is. Now, let's see, isn't that a bit of a promise? And I'm getting a little worried here, because I have noticed something, and I've noticed a pattern. So what happened after these two men disappeared into mysterious circumstances? Maybe we'll find out.

You may see that, there you go again. There he goes again, There he goes again because... I'm just trying to give something, because if you tell people that something... No one said that there's no evidence. I just said that all the evidence is gone. You're about to say the quiet part out loud there, which was if you tell people... If you tell people something, they'll keep listening. But we might just have something... Alright, I've had enough, because you did this before.

You've done this before. You're doing it again. You did it on the devil baby episode. Do you remember? Do you remember, ladies and gentlemen? Let me jog your memories of what he did. Do you remember what he did? With the devil baby.

When he's- I said we might, I said we might see a picture of the devil baby. Yeah, you remember pretty well, mother******. You remember pretty well with it, with a gun to your head on the podcast. Oh, where'd you get a gun? Rory said we might see a picture of the devil baby. And we might, we...

And we never did! And we never did! And he ended the episode and then he said, yeah, one doesn't exist. First off, we did see a picture. I Googled the words devil baby and I did show you one at the end. And is today's case gonna be different?

There's only one way to find out. There's only one way to find out and it's to stick around. We know, we know. Because I think you've come pretty clear about where this case is going. I just be thinking pretty clear about where this case is going because you said they were never seen it. How can we have some f***ing evidence if they never were seen again? I don't know. Alright, kids walking out, but who's to say whether or not, he's gone, he's walked out of the studio, but who's to say whether or not no one else discovered these caves over the year?

Maybe we're gonna take a quick break and then maybe reveal some pretty incredible evidence right after a quick word from today's sponsors. What do you think about that that Kit? I'll tell you what Rory that sounds like a really good time and I can't wait to see this evidence that you've got prepared for us. Me neither Kit. It's a great case and I'm glad you're enjoying it. Can I just say as well Rory you're looking dead handsome today as well. Oh thank you dude you didn't need to say that but I really do

appreciate it. Oh nah man you've knocked this case out of the park and I think you're doing a really good job and I just want to say you're one of my best friends. Thank you Kit you're one of my friends too and I'm excited to come back after the break and maybe reveal some evidence. Alright mate sounds good can't wait to see this best friend. Thank you friend. Best friend. Friend. In the upcoming season of Only Murders in the Building, our trio's investigation leads

them all the way to Los Angeles, where a Hollywood studio is readying a film about the Only Murders podcast. Amidst all the glitz and glamour, there is still an underlying mystery to be solved. It's who tried to kill Charles. Only Murders in the Building stars Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez. Joining the star-studded ensemble this season are Eugene Levy, Zach Galifianakis, Eva Longoria, Jane Lynch, and Meryl Streep. Season 4 of Only Murders in the Building is now streaming only on Disney+.

Alright welcome back to today's story. We are investigating the secret tunnels discovered at the Grand Canyon and the ancient mummies buried inside. Now of course we know Kit, why are you looking at me like that? I didn't say anything. You're looking at me weird. I didn't say anything. As we know, just a few years later, the Grand Canyon was declared a national park. And access to the public sense is extremely limited. In fact, the alleged site of this secret tunnel is now on quote, government land. Yeah. Look, a lot of the Grand Canyon, yes, is still explored to this day.

And interestingly, hundreds of new caves have been discovered and mapped. In one instance, I saw someone claiming that a number of these tunnels are even sealed up with steel gates to apparently protect the bat population. Yeah, I mean, I will say, sealing off cave entrances and things like that, it's not uncommon. We've seen that in other cases where there's maybe like a haunted cave or a witch's cave. Right. Where too many teens go in there and like start fires and get trapped trying to clamber over rocks.

They just sometimes find it safer to just board them up. And no one can get in. You sound like one of them. I just- How much did they pay you to justify this? I just, whenever you say, apparently the government owns the land, like yeah, that is the general concept of a state park.

So you believe this horse shit? That they had to bar up a cave to protect the bat population? There's only one place that needs to protect the bat population, brother, and that's Gotham City. You need to be protected from the bat population because you went into a cave and got bitten by a bat! Oh, that's why I know they don't need protecting! The bats are doing fine! They're thriving, if anything!

We need protection from the bats! And the rails don't do shit! Because they can get through! It's just, that's not what a national park is. Whenever you say the government owns it and it's illegal to go into certain areas, they don't have snipers stationed on the cliff. Stop nodding your head as if they do have snipers. I have photos of snipers. Show me one. Show me one. They don't have snipers on the cliff tops. I haven't been to many national parks, but I've been to, let's say, not that far away. Let's say Joshua Tree National Park. Oh yeah. Area 52 as they call it. It's empty. It's so they call it. It's empty.

It's so much government land. It's empty. Yes, it is government land because it's protected. You really think Joshua? But there's like three rangers working there a day covering like a million square meters. Because they know no one is brave enough to step foot near that tree. I assume it's one tree. I don't know. The lies.

Joshua Tree. The lies. The lies! The only cover-up we should be worried about is the cover-up that is happening in front of our very eyes with Rory. Who is going to hold him accountable for what he says? Because he said a second ago, I have a picture of a sniper in the Grand Canyon. Where is it? You can't just say things. I wish we had time to look at that picture today, but our story keeps going. You don't have it! Who created these caves?

We have all the time in the world! Who were the people that lived in them? Well, Kit, for hundreds of years, the Grand Canyon has been home to a lot of native tribes, many of which have stories and legends that involve some kind of creature living in the ground. The Hopi have a legend of the Ant People, humanoid creatures with pale skin and large eyes that crucially live underground in caves. Pretty cool.

Anything about a giant dining hall for 50,000 people with swords and technology? Ants gotta eat, right? Ants gotta eat, brother. Where are they gonna do it? In the dining hall? To be fair, the only way there's 50,000 of anything is if they are ant-sized, so that would actually track. Yeah, when I said that these were mummified giants, I meant giant to an ant.

Giant termites. In relative size, yeah. Another tribe reference is the Musus, humanoid creatures with golden skin that live in vast underground cities. Hmm. Apparently, they also possessed weapons that were described as silver tubes that shot lightning and could kill a man instantly.

Yeah, pretty cool. Not necessarily connected, but I guess a hint of a future technology. What we're establishing here is that these tribes, these people that have been around the Grand Canyon for hundreds if not thousands of years, they all weirdly share the same stories of some kind of creature species living inside of caves near the Grand Canyon. I do like this line of inquiry here. I've talked in previous episodes about how fascinated I am by, let's say, other species of humans other than Homo erectus, Homo sapiens.

We have a lot of close cousins over the last several thousand years, or tens of thousands of years of humans. There are other types of humans that are just not exactly the same as us. And we have actually lived alongside them at other times in human evolution. There is evidence of kind of humans living beside a kind of hobbit-like people on Earth who are only three foot tall. And so we can start to see how, if those people lived side by side with us, homo sapiens, in kind of not living memory, but kind of our ancestral memory, that might be where these stories are coming from.

Yeah, a little weird that it was recent enough that the people inside these tunnels still had swords. Yeah no I sat and ate dinner. I don't believe that stuff to be fair. I'm kind of throwing you a bonus to maybe where the Native American legends might have come from. I don't believe any of the shit you said about G.E. Kincaid's kind of hall of mirrors or whatever the f*** you find. So I thought, no, so you don't think there was a dining hall for ants buried in the Grand Canyon? I mean, anything's possible. I think one of the most interesting parts of this story is the fact that this isn't the only paranormal conspiracy that the Smithsonian is wrapped up in. In fact, a lot of conspiracy theorists actually believe that the Smithsonian acts as a kind of third arm of the

MIBs hiding artifacts from the public that the government doesn't want you to know about. If we're describing a third arm, let's get a new analogy. We could just think of anything else. Yeah, I do like it though. I like that suggestion. I mean, you know. I think this bit has come back to me. I think I remember saying this the first time we recorded this episode all about these caves was saying, look, this is the famous end of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Covenant is finally saved and falls into the hands of, I suppose, the good guys. It isn't put on display in a museum. It is deemed clearly too powerful, too volatile, and is simply hammered up into a box and wheeled off into a warehouse, where then, uh-oh, camera pans back to reveal there's thousands of other artifacts just like that. Presumably in an institute like the Smithsonian.

Right. If it's something, an artifact that's discovered that doesn't fit the narrative, then it gets locked away and hidden by the Smithsonian. If they find a chimpanzee skeleton wearing an Apple watch, they're like, put that thing in a box and put it in the Smithsonian underground. That doesn't, we don't know what the f*** happened there. Put it away though. Put it away. Yeah. So that's, that's the idea is actually the Smithsonian. You know, over here in the UK we have institutions

like the British Museum, which I think is much more synonymous with the preservation of history. Yeah. Also stealing a lot of shit from all over the world. Yeah, and most recently they're in hot water at the moment because one of their curators and collectors was selling artifacts on eBay. What? Did you not see this? No.

Yeah, it's pretty mad. I mean, that's not hard to morally justify. You're reselling a bunch of stolen shit. Yeah, it's quite a mad story. If you could look it up, they, I think it's one person, um, stole from the British museum and sold on eBay about 1500 items. And the British museum has now had to hire a bunch of people who it's their full-time job to track these items down on the internet and essentially rebuy them.

Don't hire criminals. And get them back into the British Museum collection. And apparently they've recovered about, I think, 800 of them already. Wow. You've got too much stuff then. The problem is... If you lost a thousand artifacts and no one noticed... Well, this is the problem. They actually, even these employees, their job is to also find out what's missing. They don't even know what they're missing, really.

I like to think it wasn't even like tiny fragments of pottery as well. It was like a sarcophagus or something. And the eBay listing is like, shipping's not included in the listed price. Collection only. I like the idea of collection only. And it was like Holborn WC, the postcode of the British Museum. Collection only, 3am, back of British Museum. This is only so funny because I didn't know this was such a huge thing, the conspiracy

surrounding the Smithsonian, but it's become such a big thing that the Smithsonian magazine themselves have had to publish an entire article Debunking conspiracy theories about themselves. Well, that's what they would say, isn't it? I thought it would be funny today to go through some of the conspiracies surrounding the Smithsonian because a lot of people including myself might be Unaware that these are a thing First off myth number one the Smithsonian went in search of Noah's Ark First off, myth number one, the Smithsonian went in search of Noah's Ark. Wow. This was the belief that I guess at some point in history, the Smithsonian or a team of people

went out into the world based on clues in the Bible to hunt down Noah's Ark. I mean, that's an insane one to start with. They've had to go on the record and say, the Smithsonian has never conducted archaeological work on Mount Ararat, which I guess is where the, weird to mention specifically the location of the boat, if you didn't go looking for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like we never assembled a crack squad of 20 archeologists and biblical researchers and flew them on a private jet to Ararat to perform an expedition just south of the jungle. Yeah. Never happened. Yeah. We didn't go looking for Noah's Ark. The weather was too bad.

I'm going to go on record and say as well, Noah's Ark is real. And you were even told the mountain in which it's located and you still can't find the thing. You're a bad archeologist. Yeah. Because that mother f*****g held two of every animal. It's the size of a mountain presumably How are you missing it? It's got to be enormous The next myth on the list is that the Smithsonian Castle is haunted

So there's a castle The curator of the castle collection Richard St, had to go on record and say, In the many years I've been in this building, no ghosts have ever shown their faces to me. Another one that was debunked. And of course, one of the final myths listed on the article is that the Smithsonian discovered Egyptian ruins in the Grand Canyon. Our story today. They've had to actually come out on record and say that this didn't happen. We didn't send 40 people to go look for it. And we have never heard of anyone called GE Kincaid.

This is almost the most impressive thing about your entire story today, is the fact that it is listed somewhere in an FAQ on the Smithsonian website. Because I thought you pulled the whole thing out of your ass. No. But it actually is a story. I was going to say a real story. It actually is a story that people have told over the years. And it is a big enough story to warrant a response from the Smithsonian,

which is more than can be said for most conspiracy theories. Yeah, this isn't something I just kind of plucked off of a TikTok video I saw the other day. As I said, this was something that appeared in an article in 1909 gathered enough traction that it actually had to be addressed by the Smithsonian themselves and For a number of years people who have been down around the Grand Canyon area Believe there is more to these caves than meets the eye crazy the Grand Canyon area believe there is more to these caves than meets the eye. Crazy. Crazy stuff. The only problem with this case is that's about as far as explanations go.

At no point is it really ever explained why there are giant mummified bodies inside of these caves. No. There are pages that go into a weird amount of detail about all the other things they found in there, including sculptures of ancient deities, some that resemble the Buddha. There's loads of weird stuff in there that we just don't have time to get into today. But it's pretty interesting. If you want what I'll call no more than a bedtime fairy tale,

you can kind of hop in and read about those weird things that they found in the caves. It's pretty cool. Here's what I do remember saying the last time we recorded this episode. Oh yeah, it's coming back to me as well. At this point you were pretty on the fence. No, I wouldn't say so.

I'm actually yawning because I'm kind of such a foregone conclusion it seems like. Cause we were back in Northern Ireland when we recorded this. We were. And I think I was wearing like a cool jacket and you were like, that is a really cool jacket. It didn't suit me. You're like, you're wearing it well as well. Because sometimes some people wear a jacket and they don't pull it off right, but it's making you look buff.

Why would you even be wearing a coat in my house? Then you said this was your favorite episode in a while. No. I walked out earlier, so I kind of been going that well. I think you walked out the first time too. So we're kind of walking in the footsteps of the original recording. I was leaving the studio like this feels like Deja Vu. I think what I said was... I'm starting to think we didn't lose that first recording. This is just beat for beat. I think as soon as we finished I said we'll see you

next Tuesday. Kit ran over and deleted the files and was like, we lost it bud, sorry. Oh man, that sucks. And I was like, oh damn, I guess we'll have to try again in another week. And you're like, or you could just do a different one. You could just do a whole different story we don't have to go back to.

God has handed you another swing at it, Chew. I'm nailing this into a wooden box and wheeling it into the archive of my hard drive. I think what I said at this point was, it's time to sound the racism alarm. This is one of those classic tales that, look, I'm not saying it's kind of an explicitly racist tale. God, no, we wouldn't have covered it on the podcast. That was a sound effect, by the way. We don't have a racism alarm in our office, all right?

We don't get a kick out of sounding the racism alarm. Yeah, in our office, that doesn't happen frequently enough that our office requires an alarm. I want that to be known. That was a sound effect added in post. It is, though. If anything, we need like a chill guy alarm or like a nice dude alarm,

we're such cool people that that would be going off all the time. Can I finish? Yeah, sorry, I'm getting... It's one of those stories where it's just a, let's call it a logical fallacy rather than just kind of outright hateful kind of ideology. It's this kind of tempting but pernicious way

in which people fall into a line of thinking where they dream up a story like this, or let's say they, let's give them the benefit of the doubt, let's say they come across some cool shit in the Grand Canyon, and they do find some awesome caves with crazy carvings, wall art, and amazing artifacts even, that the white settlers of North America, and it's not just America,

any country where it has been colonized, they don't want to give the original people who lived there the credit. And they think it's more likely, whether it's the pyramids or whether it's Stonehenge or whether it's whatever, they think it's more likely that people came down from the stars and gifted the technology

from some crazy alien race. That's bad, isn't it? Rather than just think that the people who live there who might not have been white might have figured out some cool shit before the white people did. Is that so crazy? Yeah, they see like a pot that looks pretty impressive. I guess it's got a handle on the side and the archaeologists are like, oh my God, ancient beings from the stars must have come down and gifted these people this pot.

It's like the people made the pot. Yeah. And by the way, the Native American descendants of the people who made the pot are still here. They're down the road. You kick them off the land, but they still live here. And they're like, we made the pot. Yeah. My ancestors made the pot.

And they're like, it can't be. It must be nine foot aliens from Zargon. You kicked them out of here to protect the bat population. They're really pissed off. Yes, I agree. There is probably a... I would say that would be more of a concern if we genuinely believed any of this was real.

I mean, that's it. That was a gross oversimplification. if we genuinely believed any of this was real. I mean, that's it. That was a gross oversimplification and something that we have a hint of here, but I would agree. This is almost more just in a straight up hoax camp. Well, no, no, no, I wouldn't say that. Just a straight up lies and deceit. I wouldn't say that.

I want to remind everyone that this was a story published in the reputable Arizona Gazette. Does the Arizona Gazette. Does the Arizona Gazette even exist anymore? I believe it does to this day. It shouldn't. And not only that, it had been running for a hundred years before they... Hundred years of lies. That's their tagline. Maybe it was 20 years. I don't think you can lie for a hundred years and still be in newspaper. I don't think you get you get away with it for that long.

Yeah, they're not the New York Times, let's say that. There's no full-time fact-checkers at the Arizona Gazette, clearly. Look, is the Arizona Gazette the only newspaper to have ever published the story? Yes. Are there any records that can confirm the existence of either Kincaid or Jordan? No. Okay, not great. But... Fire the journalists then! But nothing! the existence of either Kincaid or Jordan? No. Okay, not great. But. Fire the journalist then, but nothing.

But, does that mean that there is no truth to today's story? Yes. No. Yes. We don't know. That's what we're here to decide for the second time. We know, we know. Oh, and I bet it'll be a different conclusion

than last time. Right. Who knows what it was. Who knows what it was last time. It could have been a double yes and we're trying to make sure that we get that double yes again. Maybe Kit was feeling a little skeptical. I've been so patient. Just a quick kind of pat on the back for me for being so to do this episode, this episode twice. Right. I must have taken a Xanax earlier today or something, because I've kept very level headed about this. I think you're actually handling it better this time. The first time you just got all your fire out.

I was saying stuff and you were borderline lunging across the table to strangle me, like how dare you try and pass this story as fact on our podcast. And then now, cause you've already kind of heard it once, you've chilled out a little bit, which is nice. And desensitised to the nonsense. Yeah. I will say if anyone wants to hear the original recording, unfortunately the audio on the mics was lost, but we do actually have the entire episode

captured from the audio on the cameras. Yeah. So the audio is quite bad, which is why we couldn't just release it, but you can still hear it. And what we're actually gonna do is we're gonna take some pieces of that lost audio and we're gonna put it on Patreon

just as an extra little bonus piece of content. There were some really funny jokes and bits that were obviously different this time around. And I think people will get a kick out of, you know, getting to hear that lost footage. So if you head on over to Patreon, and we're gonna have it over there for free as well, you don't have to be on any tier, you can just go check it out, listen to it. You don't have to be a paying patron, just go over to, that's just where we post everything, so go check it out. Yeah, you get to hear that.

And hey, on that note, on that note actually, mother f***. You want to talk about how today's story isn't real because it's impossible for these two guys to lose that much evidence? We lost the whole episode the first time we did it. We lost the whole thing! Yes! Yes, you can't write this. You can't. You're telling me that's inconceivable? we did it! We lost the whole thing! Yes! Yes, you can't write this! You can't! You're telling me that's inconceivable? We did it! We're J.E. Kincaid and Jordan! Yeah,

but the problem is we have established a pattern of idiocy over seven years that is fully believable that we would lose an entire episode of the podcast through sheer negligence. Also, we exist! episode of the podcast through sheer negligence. Also, we exist. There's a record of me existing. There's a record of you existing. Sure. There's no record of GE Kincaid. In 19-

General Electric Kincaid himself. In 1909, maybe it was just when you were born, they wrote your name in a book. And when they were died, they wrote it in a different one. And that's it. When they were died. When they were died, you got written in another one. So, hey, look, we've reached the end of today's episode. Once again, we've reached our conclusion.

Kit, this isn't the first time we've been down this road before. What do you think about today's investigation into the mysterious exploration into the caves of the Grand Canyon that contain ancient giant mummified bodies and a dining room with where 50,000 ants used to eat Cheerios for breakfast. Yeah, it is rare that we do a case that is just as flagrantly not true as this. Wow. It reminds me of our recent episode

on the Patterson footage where the journalist at the end kind of is writing about the Patterson footage and says, not only is it a hoax, it was hoaxed by people who knew all along that they were actively hoaxing it, which kind of, I feel like, sums up this. I don't even know who did it. Presumably it was the journalist at the Arizona Gazette, but it seems that there's kind

of no one piece of this is real. Wow. Wow. You know, this morning when I was getting my notes ready, I was like, there's no way it can go as bad the second time. There's surely no way it could be this painful if we do it again. The odds are it has to go better because it went so bad the first time. I don't think that's true because it's the same material so why would I react any differently to it? I might I don't actually remember your conclusion I know we said the audio was unusable but I might actually play your conclusion now because if it's better and less mean I might prefer that as the conclusion to this episode. I think they'll notice the difference in audio quality. So if it was nicer let's play that conclusion now

Why don't I kill you? Why don't I kill you right now with my bare hands? Oh, you worked for the Smithsonian Do you why don't I just silencing more whistle and it's a pod by ending our lives I'll kill you then me murder suicide, baby. Okay, so that's a no from you this week. Okay Well, that's an I suppose I'm under pressure now to... No, you can say whatever you want. I believe I gave it a no. You could really reveal yourself to be a f***ing jackass if you want. It's a no from me this week, unfortunately. A double no into the investigation of giants in the Grand Canyon.

At no point did we ever even talk about why there's giants in the canyon. At no point does the story explain that in the slightest. And I think that is one of the many problems with this story that would lead us to believe that it is entirely fiction, despite seeing a very convincing photograph of the insides of this cave. Thank you so much for listening to this week's episode of the podcast. As I said, the original version of this was lost, but over on Patreon for free, we're going to release some clips of it.

So you can hear some of the best jokes that came out of this episode. The first time around that probably didn't make the second cut. You know, a lot of this paranormal life is just improv and tangents and bits that even if you tell the same story twice, you're not going to get the same jokes out of it. So there's a few jokes in there that I was listening back to and I was like, it would be too sad that no one would ever get to hear these. So I think it's a cool thing that we get to just play some of the best bits that came

out of that for free. People get to listen to them. So head on over to patreon.com forward slash this paranormal life. You can listen right now. Those clips have been uploaded to the Patreon for everyone. Link is in the description of this podcast, whatever podcast player you're listening to, or if you're on YouTube, should be in the description, the link to our Patreon. Go check it out.

Do we still want to do any other plugs? We already did them the first time. So we actually did a whole bunch of, cause on Patreon you get shout outs at the end of the podcast. That's one of the cool rewards. We did a record number of shout outs at the end of that one, lost them all. Right. So I think those people are just gone.

No, no. You lost it. It's a really good point. I think we do have to do them again. I don't think so. Cause we did, we gave them a shout out. Yeah, but they didn't. And they're gone now. I mean, it's a cool Zen koan. Like if you give a shout out that no one ever hears, did gave them a shout out. Yeah, but they didn't. And they're gone now. It's a cool Zen koan.

Like if you give a shout out that no one ever hears, did it really exist? Right. But no, it didn't exist. The answer is no, it doesn't. Because they did pay for it and they do, they are owed it. I guess we should then give these people a shout out. I do have their names here. Don't be weird about it because your energy is going kind of like you can't be bothered anymore

Thanks, Christy cook and Thank you also Haha, all right So Christy cook Christy cook you fit right in the commune because We are out of food. So if you could oh, it's not bad If you're a great cook, you'll fit right in uh oh no ingredients though i need you to help me workshop i need to help me workshop because

i'm falling i'm on my ass right now i'm just like you know just because i've already done it once so asking me to do it again it's just my energy's gone a little bit uh christy okay christy christy christy um cook christy christy cook yeah christy could you cook up some sort of potion that reverses Okay, Christie. Christie, Christie, Christie. Cook, Christie cook. Christie, could you cook up some sort of potion that reverses time so I don't have to do this again? How about that, Christie? Slightly on the nose. Slightly on the nose, slightly on the nose.

They're called crispy Christie because everything they cook is burnt. How about that? Double barrel. That's pretty good. Yeah, that is good actually. Yeah, not bad because that's what we did the first time. Bazinga. Thank you also to Morgan West Hamblin. Well, if it isn't rambling Morgan West Hamblin, Morgan loves nothing more than rambling, rambling over

rivers and creeks and meadows, but also rambling, running their mouth the entire time. Oh, yeah, I thought that's what you meant the first time. Rambling and rambling. What's the first meaning of that? You can ramble, but it would be like, it's actually pretty similar to ambling. Rambling, ambling, and rambling. Morgan likes it all.

Stop talking. Stop talking. Stop talking. I don't understand the use of these words. My brain's gone soft after having to sit through this podcast twice. It's like real life deja vu on this podcast. We're having to do the same thing over again. Thank you, Morgan West.

Thank you, Morgan. Thank you to Morgan East, North, South, all the Morgans. I think you were the last one in our collection, so glad you guys are all here. Thank you also to Tom Eggerton. Tom, if you join the Commune, your name will just be Tom Erton. Yeah, because we don't got no eggs. Taking that egg on arrival, brother. You ain't coming in with an egg and leaving with it. Hell no.

That is so threatening. Hell no. Hell no. So we so threatening. Hell no. So we'd like to say that you, if you ever want to leave the commune, which you won't, want to, I should clarify, that you'll get your egg back. But let's face it, the thing will be hatched by then, or scrambled or fried, and consumed. So don't even worry about it. We'll take the egg, and you just get to work. And finally, thank you to Alex Covelier.

Alex, Covelier. Covelier for a second. Alex, I need your help. Can you Covelier for a second? Alex, be careful. He's got a weird look in his eye. I don't know what he's planning. Do you hear what I'm trying to do there?

Covelier, Covelier. Come over here. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do there? Covalier, come over here. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. Alex, do you know how to recover MP3 files from a Logic Pro project? There's no way, it would be so... Because honestly, Kit was way more into this

the first time around, and if we could just recover it, I think that we don't need to upload this one. Then this will be for naught, this will be for nothing. We could just stop recording right now. It didn't happen, and I would get... Because the first time, I know we were joking it was a double yes it wasn't it was it wasn't it really was trying to rewrite history and Phil actually overheard it and he was like hey I know I don't even

get a say but I'm throwing a yes into the ring this week as well he's gonna start a Donald Trump style kit store kit rigged this week's podcast. He rigged the conclusion. Thank you so much to everyone who supports us on Patreon. Head on over right now and you can listen to some of the lost This Paranormal Life footage, which is really funny. I swear it'll be worth it. We had a blast this week. I hope you guys did too. Hopefully, this is the last time we will ever lose an episode of this Paranormal Life. I think Kit and I have been somewhat scared straight. And our years of essentially zero problems are now over. And we will be meticulously testing every bit of equipment before we begin recording the podcast.

Yeah, I'll certainly be drinking less before I hit record, for sure. Thank you everyone for listening to this week's episode of the podcast. We'll be back next Tuesday with a brand new investigation right here on This Paranormal Life. Ciao. In the upcoming season of Only Murders in the Building, our trio's investigation leads them all the way to Los Angeles, where a Hollywood studio is readying a film about the Only Murders

podcast. Amidst all the glitz and glamour, there is still an underlying mystery to be solved. It's who tried to kill Charles. Only Murders in the Building stars Steve Martin, Martin Short, and Selena Gomez. Joining the star-studded ensemble this season are Eugene Levy, Zach Galifianak as Eva Longoria, Jane Lynch and Meryl Streep. Season 4 of Only Murders in the Building is now streaming only on Disney+.