This Paranormal Life - BONUS EP - The Most Haunted House in Northern Ireland (LIVE from Belfast)

Episode Date: October 1, 2023

Welcome to a very special BONUS episode of This Paranormal Life! In celebration of our upcoming tour, we decided to FINALLY release a live recording of one of our shows from last year. If you want to make sure you don't miss any of the action this tour (and also want to make sure you hear the Dublin Gorilla-man story) make sure to pick up your tickets for our imminent October tour now! Last remaining tickets available at - www.thisparanormallife.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome everyone to This Paranormal Life and a special live episode. Today we're investigating a haunted house and some potentially cursed real physical evidence, except we're doing it in front of about 300 people in Belfast. This episode is from our sold-out UK tour last year. We always wanted to release our live shows as podcasts and now's the perfect time, as in just a few days we are embarking on our first ever world tour across the USA and UK. So, if you were thinking about coming to see us live,

but maybe haven't seen a live podcast before, and didn't know what to expect, this will give you a taste. To complete the experience, crack open a can of Guinness, stick on some wet clothes, you will really feel like you're in Ireland, in 4D. And if you want to see our brand new show live this October, head to thisparanormallife.com to pick up your tickets. Links in the description of this episode.

Otherwise, enjoy the investigation of Carndew House. Hello, Belfast! Hello, Belfast! How the hell are you doing tonight? This is beautiful. Thank you so much for coming to see us. This is a special moment because Rory, this is where we started man. No it's not. Yeah it is, yeah it is. Rory, name three of your favorite things about Belfast. I love boujoums, I love the tortilla chips that they have. You're not really from Belfast are you?

the tortilla chips that they have. You're not really from Belfast, are you? I'll tell you what. This is why you gotta love Belfast. You gotta love a city that builds an entire museum dedicated to a journey that ended up a complete mess. It's true.

It's so true. I'm, of course, talking about the Game of Thrones Museum. What a f***ing disaster. Unbelievable. What a wreck. I can't believe you brought it up. Has anyone actually...

Have you been to the Titanic Museum before? Wouldn't be seeing dead there. No. Have you guys been to the Titanic Museum before? For those of you who haven't, no spoilers or anything. It's pretty dark. That's not a spoiler. That second half is pretty f***ed up. I'm not gonna lie. It's one of the most famous tragedies of the 20th century. I don't know what you're talking about. If you haven't seen the movie,

just watch out. That's all I'm saying. Guys, we couldn't be happier to be here tonight. That's all I'm saying. Guys, we couldn't be happier to be here tonight. This is truly our homecoming. We've got a hell of a show just waiting for you. Really, how tonight is going to go down is somewhat similar to the This Paranormal Life show that you've come to know and love. It is going to be a show of two halves. The first, we're going to be sat here.

This is exactly what our home studio looks like as it happens. Yeah. More candles at home, to be fair. And we will be sitting down and we'll be going through a paranormal tale that is near and dear to Northern Irish people everywhere. We wanted to base it on

something right here in the country. We're going to do that for about 30 or 40 minutes before we come back on stage for the second act of tonight, the reason we're all here, the Dice of Death portion. That's right, ladies and gentlemen. And don't try and leave during the intervals

because we lock all the doors. All right, you weren't supposed to tell them that. Even the fire exits. No, no, no, no, we don't. That's right. That will be illegal. And if I have to start a couple fires just to get things heating up for the second half, I just might.

They are fake candles, I will say. I should also point out that tonight, the first half at least, is being recorded. That's right, by Netflix, who are on the top row here. No, no. It's a special going out. And I'd love to tell you that, you know, this show is going to be relaxing

and it's going to be like every episode of This Paranormal Life you've ever heard. That would be a lie. No. Because this live podcast is going to be like

no other live podcast you've ever seen before. You know, some of those other podcasts, they sit down in two chairs and yes, the first half, mostly chairs and microphones. Sure.

A large portion of the second half too. But the big difference is I have my little magic box. Ooh. Yeah, can we get some oohs for the magic box? Here we go.

This magic box is hooked up to my own personal phone, which stores over 1,000 different sound effects. Weird use for a phone. And using the magic of sound, I can transport you all over the world to the Wild West fighting cowboys. To the bottom of the ocean, hunting for globsters. That's good. That is good. Right?

I can make it feel like you're on a rocket ship going straight to the moon! No. Voicemail. Hi, Rory. Dr. Tobin here. I had a look at those pictures of your ass, and there's definitely something wrong there. Please come into the surgery so we can have a proper look. Man. The phone, you said?

You hooked up to your phone? I wasn't, yeah. All right. All right, it seems some of these buttons trigger my voicemail. So I'm going to... Sorry buttons trigger my voicemail. So I'm going to... Sorry, not my voicemail. I don't know. That was from a different story.

Right, that was just off the internet somewhere, sure. Yeah, that was... You did say, hey, Rory, at the beginning. To be fair. It's a popular name. Worrying to think what the other 997 signs are on that thing. A lot more of that, unfortunately. Like I say, a show of two halves.

We don't know what this thing has stored, but I think it is finally time to jump into today's investigation. Let's do it, folks! Let's go! Okay. Okay. That music just plays wherever me and Rory go, to be fair. We're walking up and down the street here. Yeah, it was super awkward when we went to my uncle's funeral.

And that just played. And we were like, I'm so sorry. It just played and we're like i'm so sorry it's hard to carry i'm so sorry you didn't need to wear a silver suit though let's just go with this or i think we've got the hang of this thing let's dive into today's case guys maybe you're a super fan of this paranormal life maybe you've been dragged to the show tonight by a friend or spy something who is that's a surprisingly large portion of the audience. I wasn't expecting that, I'll be honest.

Wouldn't have said it if I thought that was going to happen. Can we get a cheer from whoever has never heard the show before? F***ing hell, that's bad. Jesus Christ! Oh my god! Sheesh, I'm going to need to dial back a lot of these inside drinks on this paranormal life

this is the podcast where every week we investigate a different paranormal tale and get to the bottom of whether it's truly paranormal or not and live podcasts are no exception uh you know for each stop on our tour we wanted to like cover something specific to uh that location so we thought we'd uh cover you know a london story for london a scottish one for for glasgow and for belfast uh obviously something to do with northern ireland um i did say to them are you sure a paranormal story set in northern ireland i mean it is like sure it's an ancient country. There's plenty of ghosts and ghouls and spirits. But, you know, we've had a bit on as a country. We've been busy.

You know, if Bigfoot himself had appeared on the Falls Road between 1968 and the Good Friday Agreement, everyone would have just sort of been like, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. We don't have time for this. Get out. To be honest.

We already hate each other. We can't direct that anywhere else. Deal with whatever this is. Yeah. But things have changed. Things have changed. We have been busy, but we have moved on. We have time to think about the paranormal now.

And Roy, you and I both know it, that there is a myriad of stories in Northern Ireland, not all worthy of cover in this paranormal life, but we have covered some. And yet, and yet we have covered many. We covered Ballybogey Forest. Ballyboley Forest. Ballyboley Forest. Ballybogey Forest.

Well, yeah, to be fair. I think that's a location in Fortnite that I'm thinking of. I did once play a gig. We covered Tilted Towers. We did cover Coral Castle. I did actually play a gig one time in Ballybogey. It's a real place?

I didn't make that up. 10,000 people. No, it was on an abandoned safari park. I believe the guy who ran it actually went to prison for murdering tigers or something. That's not a bit. But yeah, we covered Ballybully Forest. Was a double no, I think. Yes.

Many of the Northern Ireland cases were unfortunately double no's. But really, we don't even have a good enough excuse that we haven't covered more. But I thought, what better way to find out more about Northern Irish paranormal stories than turning out to the Oracle of Truth for the Paranormal

in Northern Ireland, the Northern Ireland subreddit. Which I didn't even know existed. I didn't even know there was a subreddit for Northern Ireland. Some of these motherf***ers are definitely on Reddit. I'm looking at you for sure. Anyone hang out in the Northern Ireland subreddit? Oh yeah. I'm probably at you for sure. Anyone hang out in the Northern Ireland subreddit?

Oh, yeah. There's going to be... I'm probably going to... Well, we're about to hear from some of them. Time to give those terrible people a platform. Because that's what they... It's about time. Been missing. That's what podcasting is really about, right?

Giving the worst people in the world microphones. That's what I think. really about, right? Giving the worst people in the world microphones. That's what I think. No, I'm excited. I have no idea what people would even talk about on a Northern Irish subreddit. Boojum, mostly, to be honest. Who's got the best offers on Buckfast? Yeah.

Uh-huh. It's not mean because they all cheered for it, so it makes sense. Well, just for one, we've had a good few posts just this year, actually. One user, haribo001, posted, Any good ghost stories relating to places in Northern Ireland? Love it, love it. I'm diving in right away. I'm excited.

User bcmonte replied, No ghosts, but I have been to Larn. Nothing but weird alien looking creatures wherever you go. Weird but fair. There's like one dude from Larn at the back like trying to duck down.

I'm going to bottle them. Wait till the interval. I'm going to f***ing bottle them. I knew it. Someone else wrote simply, if I saw a ghost, I would try and knock his f***ing... Love it. Love that energy. It's not just similar to the kind of

approach we would advocate on this Paranormal Life. We've said it many times. Once you dip those fists in holy water, they'll connect. They'll connect. They will. It's like Street Fighter. The hitbox, it gets bigger. It gets bigger. It gets bigger. It was at this point I started to worry about making an episode entirely set in Belfast.

That was until user Anonymous Joe wrote... It's got to be good if he wants to be anonymous. He's a whistleblower. My wife saw a ghost. I thought, f***ing bingo, here we go. Hit the mother load. I came home from work early and heard some commotion upstairs. When I went to investigate, the window was open

and some things were out of place. She was lying on the bed and there was ectoplasm all over the shoe. All right, all right, all right, all right. I've heard just about enough of that one. She swears it was a ghost to this day and there's no other explanation. Double yes?

Am I wrong? You know it's bad when I'm the one shutting the story down. Good Lord. But amidst these frankly disturbing insights into people's marriages, there was one story, Rory, that caught my attention. Okay, okay. Posted by user RudyPooForLife.

Strong, strong name. They wrote, When I was about nine or ten. All right, guys, we can't have those kind of interruptions on the show. My goodness. Just ask you to... Unprofessional. I said it was being recorded.

My God. Come on. I have a bit of decorum about the thing. I'm going to need no one to make a freaking sound when I hit this, okay? Yeah. Whenever I was... All right. What did we say? Where is security?

What is the point? Unbelievable. I'm sorry, getting fired up, but what's the point in security if they're not shutting people down? Unbelievable. All right. Should we even?

Okay, sorry. That was me. That was me. That was me. That was me. I apologize. Can we have some sort of format, like a countdown or something? Because I'm even, now I'm getting stressed. Now I'm getting stressed.

Three, two, one, go. When I was about nine, now you've got me rushing. You heard of something called comedic timing, brother? It's hard. I don't have it. Okay, let's go when i was about nine or ten me my parents and my two cousins went for a walk in the park at carnphonic larn county antrim northern ireland just north of belfast why do you talk like this this is this person must be in the military. Yeah, it's not like he's typing it out.

We were searching through the park for the perfect spot to sit down to have our picnic, past beautiful gardens and even a maze. And after about 30 minutes of walking, we turn a corner to come across this old dilapidated mansion-type building. From where we were standing, we could see a huge ground floor window that had obviously been boarded up and some kids had kicked it

in, leaving a gaping hole into the dark house. I knew as soon as I had seen it that if my dad wasn't around, I would have been too pussy to even poke my head in. That shouldn't be a reason why you do anything that you're uncomfortable with. It's just because your dad is in the vicinity of the area. Yeah, he was 26 years old when he wrote this.

Yeah. It was completely pitch black apart from a small, single shaft of light shining through a hole in the roof onto the floor. This is some spooky shit imagine just finding this in the wild that's crazy yeah i ain't stopping nothing's getting between me and

a picnic i'm like yogi bear that way and so far things are like you know things seem quite romantic in this story where it's like they found this old mansion and you know the there's light like beaming in from the the holes in the attic. Usually when you find an old abandoned place in the woods, there's used condoms on the floor, swastikas on the walls. It's not very romantic. This sounds a lot more majestic

than the type of traditional abandoned house you'd find in the woods. Right, this is more Haunting of Blythe Manor type. Yeah, yeah. Rather than Haunting of the Pirate Ship in the Port Sturt playground. Yeah, yeah. Okay. That would have been really unnerving

if a swastika had showed up in Bly Manor. I mean, Netflix will let a lot fly, but they have their limits. Just like Bigfoot turning up, they would be like, we can't have Nazis in the house. There is so many different themes and storylines going on. We're already fighting ghosts. We can't fight the Nazis, too. It's too much. My dad, brackets, being the manliest motherfucker I know.

Complex relationship with his father, I think. Yeah. To be fair, it might be goddamn Chuck Norris for all we know. Who knows? Probably not in Antrim, but maybe. I don't know. He turned and said, BRB, ladies.

No, he didn't. There's no way he said that. You shouldn't want to impress a man that says that. So, apparently he did because his cousin Kathy and his mom stayed outside while me, my dad, and my cousin Fergus went in through the window. I love that his dad was obviously trying to improvise a dad squad here in the moment, but only had children to pull from. Yeah, he's like, I don't know, me, my f***ing pussy son,

and that guy over there. Just some dude walking a dog. Just like, what are you talking about? We're going into the sex mansion. It's like, no we're not, no we're not. Take a condom each. You're going to need them where we're going. What age are you, son?

I am your son, and I'm nine. You should know this. I mean, this is an extra funny dynamic to be talking about today, because correct me if I'm wrong, Kit, but I believe your father is in this audience. Is that right? My family are here

somewhere. So I would ask you... Thank you. Thank you. Hello, Maldonas! Wherever you are. They're out there somewhere. So I would ask you, Rory, I'm glad you brought it up because I'm going to need to keep it PG because the parents are in the house and we can't have them thinking that this is a lewd and crude podcast. Right, well, you told a story about a woman having sex with a ghost, apparently.

I said a story about a woman who was clearly haunted while she was innocently sleeping. Right, in her bed. And I would ask you not to sully with talk of sex. Okay, fine, fine. Just keep it on the wraps, okay? We'll keep it PG. As they say.

There's a lot of respectable gentlemen and gentle ladies out here. We'll keep it all PG. Not in the front row. God, not in the front row. I don't know who let these guys in here. Jesus. Where the hell are we? His dad improvised a dad squat to head into the building.

I stepped inside. My eyes adjusted quickly in the darkness, and my first thought was, actually, this isn't that scary. It had old wooden floorboards, dust, weather damage, the smell of damp everywhere. Usual abandoned house stuff. Nothing really unusual in NI. I've been in hundreds of abandoned houses with my dad. Whoa! Whoa! That's too many houses. The relationship

deepens. Hundreds of abandoned houses? You're nine years old! With his dad? That's over ten abandoned houses since the moment you were born. A year. That, I hope he's exaggerating for dramatic effect. Because that is a worrying amount of abandoned houses to be in.

So we got out our Sharpies and drew a bunch of swastikas. All right, no. We've got to get off this story. I'd even renovated one to live in with my dad. Okay, why are you living in a haunted house? This is strange. He renovated an abandoned building? That's the definition of a fixer-upper right there.

Aren't they all abandoned before you move in? Isn't that the... Right? I'm not being dumb here. You'd hope there's no one living in it when you move in. Right, it was abandoned by the people who built it, sure. Yeah, the day before, and then we moved in. I remember being confused, thinking, this place looks like it used to be luxurious as hell.

Why would it be left like this? There were books scattered about on the floor. I lifted the first one that looked readable, a big white one. I opened it and it was full of diagrams of old medical instruments. Call me intuitive, but thanks to the book, I quickly deduced that it was an old medical building. I immediately got freaked out and thought, abandoned scary mansion in the woods? And it's a medical facility? This must be an insane asylum!

That's quite a leap. That's quite a leap. No, I don't think it is. I don't think it is. Used condoms on the floor, it must be. An insane asylum! Who would be crazy enough to draw a swastika and fornicate inside such a decrepit building?

I opened a drawer. Knives? Forks? What are these freaks up to in here? A sane asylum! They were eating dinner! Or bones or something, we don't know! It turns out I was wrong. It wasn't.

Conclusions? No. It was a library. Yeah, that's what it was. There were tons of books. It was a guy's house, I was trespassing. It wasn't. It was last a convalescent hospital but during the second world war the lord and lady who owned the house turned it into a war hospital they even generously

converted one of their royals royces into an ambulance what's a war hospital i think it's just any hospital that operated during the war right okay so and if i like stub my toe and was like can i i think it's broken can i come in and they'd be like this is a war hospital sir unless you got that in the field of duty get the hell out of here yeah if you're turning up to a war hospital in larn uh after stubbing your toe in 1944, you avoided the draft. You don't get to enter the hospital. I also feel like if you were injured and you were taken to hospital in a Rolls Royce, it's like, I don't want to meet that doctor.

I don't think you've got good hopes. Yeah, that's a really good point. The doctor's unavailable, so Jenkins here, the chauffeur, is going to have a go in your appendix. Were all facilities at that time war facilities? Pretty much. Like, was it like the war McDonald's in 1942? I don't know if they had McDonald's, but maybe. That was a bad example.

The war Burger King or something like that. The war Subway. All fast food chains. the war burger king or something like that like the war subway unless you show up in full camo they just boot you out the war boojum yes that's right rationed you can only have one type of bean not, you greedy f***. But this was where it got weird. There's one thing I remember, one image that always stuck with me. A room visible from the window we climbed in through. It was immaculate. The wooden flooring looked freshly varnished.

Bookshelves neatly stacked with books and the warm glow of light like there was a roaring fireplace. We walked towards the room about to enter it and heard a low, bumping, rumbling noise and the scratching of what sounded like feet shuffling across a dust covered concrete floor. Jesus. I looked at my dad who now had a serious expression on his face and he quickly said, Okay, let's go. I think this is private property. My dad and cousin ran for the window.

I hadn't even realized, so I was still staring at the room. The noise got closer and closer. I looked back at the window, then back to the room. I couldn't see anything, but it got louder and louder. I said, No, no! Ran for the window and Then back to the room. I couldn't see anything, but it got louder and louder. I said, no, no, ran for the window and leapt out of it with adrenaline coursing through me.

I landed on the grass with the feeling of relief rushing through me that I managed to get out so quick. Rory, what the f*** are you doing in that situation. Just to reiterate, this is a nine-year-old boy. Yes. Okay. In an insane asylum! No, he did not say that. I think we established it was a... A hospital.

A war hospital, specifically. An abandoned war hospital, yes. That's true. Did he actually see anything, or was it just the ominous sounds of footsteps? Yeah, we should recap, because a lot was thrown at us there in the final paragraph. Yeah. He was in this ostensibly completely abandoned building,

ruins and stuff all over the walls, as described, and then he saw in the distance a suspiciously perfect room, almost like looking into a dream, perfectly lit, and the sound of rumbling and the shuffling of footsteps. Oh, that's very cool. Getting louder and louder and louder. That's really spooky. And then his dad bolted and left him to die.

Yeah, I thought he was supposed to be like the manliest dude of all time. The manliest f***er he knew until that day, yes. He said, BRB ladies ladies and jumped out the window. Unbelievable. And they're on the second floor. Right? I don't remember what I said, but I hope not.

He did a Tom Cruise-esque stunt with a rappel line attached to his waist. I think it was the ground floor. Maybe the first floor. I don't know. Okay, okay. This is good.

I need to build this house inside of my mind. Well, that's spooky as shit. I probably wouldn't have gone in that deep. Right. Especially if I'd heard any noise whatsoever. So you're joining them in jumping right back the way you came, not going into the noise, into the void. No.

No, I never go into the void. Right? I thought it was under it rules. Well, I shouldn't have called it the void. Sure. Yeah. Sure. No, I'm getting the heck out of there for sure.

Fair. I think we all would be in the same situation. So I asked- Burn it down and move on. Just gasoline all the way down the hallways. That's illegal. It is illegal. Like a match and say goodbye to your dad and cousin.

Maybe they'll get their own way out. Yeah, it was just his cousin in the next room checking it out. Burn it down! Alright. I asked my dad I asked my dad about this story today. This is years later. He remembers being there but refuses to talk about the

room and just says, quote, it's not like you remember it. Which is, to be clear, extremely ominous. Yeah. Nine years old is at that age where you can't really question your

dad either. You can't be like't really question your dad either you can't be like shut up dad i know what i saw you know his word is kind of gospel at that point so if he's like it's not like you remember son you have to be like all right i guess it wasn't jesus all right you know you're a man i'm a boy so i guess you're right. Despite your behavior, which was not that mentally on the day in question. Nine is also, like, old enough to form concrete memories, though, right? Like, if this was at six years old, I think we'd be scratching our heads and going, like, I don't know. Did this really happen? But nine's a decent age.

I'm trying to think about what I was doing at nine years old. Right. Yeah. We talked on an after party. After party? Anyone? Yay! Hello! For those who don't listen to after parties, here's a little insight to you.

We talked recently on this week's episode about me using my PlayStation Portable to watch porn as a child. Right. It was a dark time. A pixelated... Some dude got way too excited about that in the back row. I can see him shaking his PSP. I'm trying to think if that was nine years old. I might have been a bit young.

He's way too young. Way too young. I was still watching porn on my 3DS at that point. I think. It is true. We were discussing such disgusting details as that. But needless to say, we weren't getting up to anything this paranormal. He says, when I think back, my dad was standing to my left as we stopped outside the door.

I think he could see into the room from his angle. What did he see? Did I see something different? This has been bugging me a lot, especially since my dad is straight up saying I imagine it all. I have to go back. I'm going to arrange a trip and investigate. If it's still broken down and stuff, I'll take pics for you guys.

I heard someone bought the place, so I don't know if it's renovated or if they destroyed it. I don't believe in the paranormal, but the more I think about this, the more I'm weirded out. It sounds like you believe in the paranormal. A hundred percent. By the way, I love this. This is very Haunting of Hill House. Right. This is very Haunting of Hill House, where at the start of it, all the kids are basically like, yeah, one night our dad carried us out of the house. We think he's a maniac.

And then later on in the show, you get to see what the dad saw on the night he carried them out of the house. Right. And it explains everything. The donkey lady, I hear. Could have been. So maybe this dad dad from a different perspective maybe it's not like how you remember its son maybe i saw something pretty wild in there well this is the million dollar question is his dad and his cousin ran and he didn't so and what

are his choices go back and investigate or speak to his father again the choice is clear back he goes my father said it's not real so i have no choice but to risk my life again it turns out that what we're discussing today is carn dew house as he said in military fashion uh outside ballygalley outside larn outside belfast outside northern ireland outside the north pole and to this day rory carnjew house is known as the most haunted house in northern ireland do you want to hit the lightning bolt for that one bud thanks dude yeah no worries all right let me say it again this is for the people at home so you guys could just pretend like i didn't say that before.

It's known as the most haunted house in Northern Ireland! Love it. Love it. Numerous ghost hunters and trespassers have seen ghostly faces in the windows or phantoms strolling the grounds. And even in that Reddit post, there's a ton of replies of people who've been there

and felt the paranormal vibe. One user even said, I've seen people try to summon stuff via seance in that house. Don't even get me started with the second floor. Jesus. I mean, if that's what's going on in the ground floor, first floor,

what the f*** is going on up there? Is it like one of those weird fetish clubs where the higher the floor, the weirder the stuff is? That allegedly I've heard of. That allegedly, apparently this is what they're like. If Roy's mother is listening to the recording. Cover your ears, mother! Sure.

I've only been to the third floor of a church! To ring the bell. Because I'm a good boy. On the third floor of this house, everyone's got their PSP out. Absolutely having at it. Rinsing the Wi-Fi. Absolutely having at it.

Rinsing the Wi-Fi. Someone else said, I went with six friends last year and we all fell through the floor and almost died. Not paranormal, by the way. Well, we all walked away with serious injuries and has to be hospitalized. Was it paranormal? did the f***ing

spirit disintegrate the flooring? we tried to go nearby to get our wounds attended to but it turned out it was a war hospital so they actually wouldn't let us in they said wear your fatigue soldier

it's 2021. What war are you talking about? The culture war, soldier. Rory, we haven't covered a haunted house, I feel, in a little while. It's been a while. It's been a hot minute. What do you make of what you've heard? I love it.

I love it. I mean, it's cool because, as you said, you know, when looking into cases in northern ireland uh sometimes you cast the net too wide and you're looking for cryptids or ufo sightings but a lot of the times some of the coolest stories are the smallest ones i have never even heard of this house in my life before sure and wouldn't have heard of it probably without this investigation yeah so it's crazy to think that there's probably a lot more places like this that do exist in Northern Ireland. Well, f***ing hell. I mean, we've told the story in the podcast a million and one times. But when my wonderful wife, Danielle, who's here tonight somewhere, when we got married.

And thank you. My wonderful wife, Danielle, got married. Rory, you were there. It was at Ballygally, a stone's throw from the very house we're talking about. We didn't know it was haunted until we, until it was too late, frankly, until we got married there.

But to think that these two locations are so close to each other is terrifying. But ladies and gentlemen, we said at the start of the show that this was, this Paranormal Life episode, like no other. And we weren't lying because you know us,

sure, to be cowards, armchair analyzers, absolute rat cards that only investigate the paranormal from our dirt under your shoe. All right, don't be so hard.

We've never gone on location to do an investigation until today. We went to Kanju House this morning. It's true. Merely hours ago. We,

thank you, we're the manliest motherfuckers we know. I lied to Rory. I said we were going to Tim Hortons. I said, let's get a nice early breakfast. You're going to love the 11 o'clock breakfast, man. It's a great

deal. After about 35 minutes of driving, because this place is quite far away, he was like, I thought it was nearby, bud. Yeah. I thought it was a lot closer. Right. You could also hear me eating a Tim Hortons in the front seat. I stopped and didn't give him any. He was blindfolded.

I drove him to this location. I didn't tell him where the f*** we were going and we went. I thought I was gonna die. I thought kid had snapped a day before our live show. I was, it was like a gangster movie. I was like driving him out to the middle of nowhere. I pulled up at the side of the road.

I took him down a deep forest path for about 10 minutes. It's just, it's a new Tim Hortons, bud. It does the best cappuccinos, the best Timbits. And we found the house. We did. Yeah. There's actually, when you go, I mean, I'm sure someone here has been there.

When you go, like, right at the entrance to the forest path, it's like, there is a very creepy-looking, dilapidated house, and Roy was like, whoa, this is f***ed up. I was like, that's just a regular house. That's not the haunted house. It was like the outhouse to the mansion, just up the mansion.

Just up the road. So he almost vomited when he saw the actual county house. And we had to look about. We did. Now, any, like, death-defying manly edge, like this person describes in the story, was quickly

reduced to nothing by the fact that two little girls ran into the house right before us. Yeah. They could have been Shining girls, but their dads were there and they were like, what about you, mate? How's it going? Yeah. This is where we walk the dogs. Could have been Shining dads. We're a whole Shining family.

Shining dads don't have UDA tattoos. That's fair. They were cute dogs. They were cute dogs. They were cute dogs. But also one of the children turned to us and said

I'm trying to find the blood room. So they were very self-aware about their vibe as children in a haunted house. It turned out the blood room is not real. They made it up on the spot. Yeah, fair play. Really 10 out of 10.

Improv. There was also some fantastic graffiti inside. One on a door, I believe, said, you will die. Yeah, all who enter die. All who enter die. And then slightly adjacent was, God cannot help you here. Yeah.

Something like that. Something along the lines of that. To be fair, right underneath that, someone countered with, shut up, goth. Yes, and I did also like the one outside, which was, what was the one about

the mom, your mom gets made fun of at bingo? I think it was. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, this is great. Some spooky vibes, some fun vibes. We're keeping it light. Very This Paranormal Life. That's great.

But we had a deep look around. Now, it's impossible to explore the third and most sexy floors, clearly. And I brought my PSP. I was ready to go. He was like, where's the Wi-Fi in here, bro? I'm trying to get some Jenna Jameson action. Some vintage era shit. Improv.

Improv. But we were the most dangerous areas we stayed away from. It was some final destination shit. There was entire portions of the roof held by a single electrical wire about to snap. Some real final destination shit. It really was. I told Kit when we were walking through it, I was like,

I think I've been to places like Universal Studios and Disneyland so much in my life that I have a real false sense of security here. Like I'm like walking along beams. There's like shards of glass on either side because I just think I'm in like a haunted mansion or something. Right.

I was like, no, a gust of wind will take this thing down to the ground. A demon came up face-to-face with Rory and he was like, ooh, can I buy a f***ing pretzel, Mickey? Yeah. Come on. Unbelievable. But would you say, Rory, that we saw anything paranormal while we were there?

You know, I was pretty much thinking about how bummed I was I didn't get Tim Hortons the whole time. Right. But we did also go merely hours ago. It was daylight. It wasn't necessarily the paranormal hour. Not 3 a.m., sure. So it was creepy, but I don't know if I could say necessarily

that we witnessed anything otherworldly. We were on a tight schedule, though. And that does make paranormal hunting a little more difficult. When you've got about five minutes to do it. I heard a bird flap its wings and I sprinted and jumped out the first floor window. I was terrified.

But we didn't want to just leave this investigation up to our word and our word alone, like we do every week. We thought we would take a piece of evidence, that's right, physical evidence, from the case and try and find out whether this thing's, I guess, haunted. We channeled our inner British museum and stole some...

Looted. Stole some of the building. As many used condoms as we could get our hands on. And that's why I have a rotten piece of flooring from the Keiji House. Give it up for the flooring!

This thing, I don't know if you want to. I'm good, bud. It's a Tim bit. It looks like a chicken goujon. It's deep fried, that's for sure. Whoa. You could properly get a vampire with that.

Final destination. This is from the blood room. I can tell. We need to remember to use some hand sanitizer. That thing is 50% rat piss. Yeah, Jesus. But we've also thought to combine this with a mainstay of live This Paranormal

Life investigations. Do you want to do the honors, Roy? The EMF reader. That's right. For those who aren't familiar with how an EMF reader works, you're out of luck, because I don't know either. But I will say,

a fun bit of trivia. This is the very EMF reader that we used for our first ever paranormal live show in London. At the Vaults. At the Vaults. Four years ago, something like that. And let's hope it still works. Woo! Yay!

I'm picking up a worrying amount of activity already. Now, I believe if you are to place this around any sort of object or area where there is paranormal activity, we might see some movement on the dial. And there's only one way to find out whether Karen G. Heist is truly haunted today. That is to scan our piece of physical evidence and figure out whether this thing goes bananas or not. Ready to do the honors? Let's do it.

Three, two, one. Whoa. I don't see anything. God damn it, really? I'm not seeing it, bud. Shitting hell. I know we wanted to put on a good show for the lovely people here.

Work, you mother... Whoa! I don't know if we can count that. Can we? Can we? All right, no, we got to be fair. Rory, what do you think? Is this a yes or a no today?

Look, I'm only one half of this investigation, but because I don't see any red lights popping up right now, it's going to be a no, unfortunately, for me this week. Oh popping up right now. It's gonna be a no unfortunately. Oh god. Damn it It's a mother no Double no unbelievable. Hey, I should just go to show you guys we have integrity. We don't just Throw out the double. Yes seem like it in the Bridgewater Triangle episode I'm not gonna into controversial stuff

Well, we covered the Zanetti train recently, and that was actually a pretty good story. And I think that should have been a double yes. Whatsoever. Let's fist fight later. Guys, a double no. An inauspicious way to start off the tour, but like Rory says,

we've got integrity. We're doing our jobs up here. That concludes the first half of our night. Hope you've been enjoying the show so far. We are going to take ten minutes, ten minutes of an interval. Grab a drink, hit the bathroom, call your mother, do whatever you need to do, and we will see you back on here for the Dice of Death. Dice of Death.

here for the Dice of Death. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Welcome back! Good evening. Sorry about the robot countdown. Yeah, what was that? That was pretty intense. That didn't need to be so intense. It sounded like we were on some sort of moon base

that was about to explode. About to detonate. It was a bit misleading. But we are back! Thank you. How was your interval? How was your interval? How was your interval? Hope you're having a good night.

Everyone pee, everyone get a drink, everyone ready for... The Dice of Death. That was terrifying. I didn't know I could do that. People at the bar, you f***ed up, you took too long. People at the bar, you f***ed up, you took too long. Now, I want to congratulate all of you guys for buying a ticket to a thing you didn't even know really what it was. Yeah.

What was that about? I appreciate you taking a chance on us, but this is what it's all about. Imagine after lockdown and like three years or two years of not being able to do anything of what you want as soon as everything's left just like i'll do anything i haven't worked out what i like in that time i'll just go with the flow i'll try a show i could stand up here all day and explain it but how about instead y'all crane your neck to that little screen up there and watch this short, informative video. The Dice of Death. A deadly game of chance played only by the most fearless gamblers. The player rolls a dice against a malevolent spirit to decide whether they will be blessed or cursed for all eternity. Some say it's an ancient ritual passed down for generations.

Others say it's a creepy pasta born in the darkest forums of Reddit. Others say it was invented just months ago by two podcasters in an attempt to sell merchandise at their live shows. But because they're idiots, they didn't

realize ordering 800 custom branded dice would increase shipping time. Meaning the dice wouldn't arrive until 2024. Can we shut this shit off? Now, they have no money left to actually pay for the live shows. Don't listen. That's a lie. They would be stealing their fans' wallets.

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Sorry. No, no, no. Awkward. That's what happens when you don't pay your voice actor enough. Right. They keep talking.

They don't know when to stop talking. I didn't know he was going to put all that in the video. So that was not just, you know. Lock the doors. Security. Yeah, we're going to lock them now. Lock it up. Luckily, I also have brought all

of the rules of the dice of death with me today. You have a scroll? Where did you get a scroll from? I have many scrolls. Okay. Peasant. Strange. Okay. That's quite enough. I've never used a scroll before. This is

like a weird yo-yo. It's not long enough to necessitate being a scroll, by the way. It's a single sheet of A5 paper. It's actually underneath this poorly printed sheet of rules is an invite to my friend Oliver's wedding. Okay. That I repurposed for this live show. Starting to see where all the scrolls are coming from.

Ladies and gentlemen, why don't I run through the rules of the game with Kit, with all of you, so we're all on the same page for when we perform the deadly act in just a few minutes. And I'm going to be pretty much on the same page as all y'all, not really knowing.

Much like the first half, Roy didn't know jack shit about. I don't know what's on that scroll. It's true. For better or for worse, the dice of death is possibly an ancient ritual where they played gambles.

A lot of typos in this first line. That does really not bode well. Is it that ancient? They hadn't... Right, it could have been translated from like a demon language or something. You don't expect typos on a scroll. No.

That kind of goes against the vibe of the scroll. It's like a stone tablet, to be fair. You're like... Oh, f***. Yeah. You've got like a 50-ton sheet of marble. That's just going to have to stay stay how many commandments are there? Oh Just right a new slab

To big letters at the top Cram the minute the bottom. Yeah, keep some of them short. Keep the last one short murder. No Yeah Murder, no. Yeah. Yeah, we were real f***ing... Talked a lot about shrimp at the start. How you can't eat shrimp. The conditions under which you can't eat shrimp. Yeah. By the time we got to Do Not Adulter, yeah.

No space. A lot of paraphrasing had to be done, yeah. It is an old, ancient ritual where the player gambles against a spirit referred to only as him. The idea is simple. I'm tangled in my scroll. The idea is simple. He's here! Oh! If the player has the highest dice roll, they win. But if their roll is lower, we don't, we're not going to talk about that.

That won't happen, hopefully. But it's not good. Statistically. Now the rules for the game are a little bit complicated. Why don't I just run through them now, really fast, so we're all up to speed. Got it. Alright, number one. One. Begin at any time. No problem there. This is

any time. This is literally any time. Number two. Position the table inside of a quiet room. Alright, the bar staff are gonna need to win it with that. No more drinks. This is the game room. Place his die inside of a cup and place your die on the other side of the table. Okay, I'm going to follow through with these. I've got our cup. We have his die. We'll give it a little shake inside. We'll slam it down. Okay. Place the cup containing the die right side up on the opposite end of the board from the first die. Let's skip that one. Ancient language shit. What was that?

We're going to move past that one. Number five. Speak the following words. Okay. The game is set. Care to make a wager? What is your voice tonight? I'm just dying. I've never heard these songs.

Come on, if you... He's here. Him is here. Rory's eyes roll back. Jabba the Hutt. Step number six. Wait a brief moment. Then seven.

Exit the room. Close the door. Okay, I mean, do you want... Then eight. Okay. Wait another moment. So you're just skipping some of the rules? A lot of them can be

rolled up into one. Now the second half is one of the more interesting parts. It says after seven minutes have passed, open the door, return to the game, do not re-enter the game room if more than 11 minutes have passed. Okay, weirdly specific.

Doesn't elaborate. I haven't been keeping track. Maybe start now, I think. Okay. It also says, if everything is exactly as you left it when you return. Okay. Do not proceed! What?

He does not want to play! Dismantle the game. Destroy the dice. Jesus Christ, what do I... But if you return and everything is the exact same as you left it, except that the second dice is no longer in

the cup, do not proceed! What? You have angered him! I haven't done anything! Apologize for your lack of decorum! Okay. And destroy the dice! Do I eat it? This is intense for the rules of any game. Imagine if you're playing Monopoly and they were just like, do not collect gold! Do not get 200! Do not collect gold! Do not get 200!

What were you thinking? You have angered Mr. Monopoly! I haven't got a piece. I haven't bought anything yet and I have to go to jail. How is that fair? You may attempt to play the game again, although it is not recommended. His memory is long

and he does not forgive. He's like an invisible elephant man. If the cup is upside down with the dice inside of it, you may proceed. Yes, yes. Okay, we can go. Which it is.

We can go. Then we have our simple part of the game. The player simply rolls against the dice roll of him. Now there are some additional notes before we start. No bystanders should be present during the game. Right. He'd be okay with that.

He's a chill guy, right? No, he's not. I mean, I think you can tell by watching this video and by reading this wedding scroll that this is a dangerous game that should not really be attempted by any man, woman, or child ever. No. On an unrelated note, can we get a volunteer from the audience? We need a volunteer.

Let's see those hands go up. Who wants it? Who wants it? Who wants it? Sir? Can we please? Would you come on stage? Come on up. Can we get a hand? Who wants it? Who wants it? Who wants it? Is it sir? Can we please? Would you come on stage? Come on up. Come on. Let's get a little round of applause.

Come up on stage. Thank you. Thank you to our wonderful sacrifice. I mean, volunteer. Will join us on stage to play the game against him. Don't anger him. Hello, hello, hello! Yay!

Welcome, welcome, welcome! Big round of applause for our wonderful sacrifice volunteer. Hello, hello. Thank you so much for coming up today. First off, I love your shirt so much. Where did you get that? The football center. Oh, dude, that's amazing.

That is a beautiful shirt. Wait, what are you... The fictional football center? No, the online shop. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Oh... the fictional Pokemon's under? No, they all line show up. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Oh, this is up, actually. I missed one here. You have to give your shirt to the... That's...

...to the guy who hosts the game? That's so weird. I think that's actually... yeah. Interesting. And what was your name? Uh, Gareth. Gareth. Gareth. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for Gareth. Hell yeah! Now, Gareth... You got any loved ones that you want to say hello to?

Yes. My brother right in the crowd. All right. Say goodbye. Say goodbye, brother. Or hello. Yeah, that's what we mean. Yeah, forget about him.

We claim the shirt. We'll share it. Gareth, you are here today to roll the dice of death against him. And so everyone is going to be able to see we got the dice cam! Right up there! So, Gareth will be rolling the dice into this handy little dice receptacle. And once we have established his roll,

we will reveal the roll of him. Now, Gareth, you want to roll something high because if it is lower, you lost. We didn't explain to you what happened if you lost, so we're not technically liable for any curses inflicted. It's a curse. It is a curse. It might be a curse. If you win, you'll be blessed for the rest of your life. If you lose, sure, you might go home with a free curse. No charge.

It's not available in the Patreon store, but it's available on the live show. So, without further ado. I think it's time. Would you like to take it? Can we get a little ooh? Let's get a little drum roll. We want something high. We want something high.

Watch the screen, ladies and gentlemen. Here it comes. It's a four. A four. What do you think, Gareth? What do you think? That's basically near the middle, isn't it? It's basically near the middle.

It is near the middle. Technically speaking, Gareth, yes. It is. All right. It could have been a lot worse. We did test runs before this, and there were a lot of ones being thrown out there. There were a lot of curses.

A lot of poor sons of bitches out there in the street that we didn't tell it was really going to happen to. So now we will ever so elegantly shift our camera to the cup. Shitting hell. Now, I didn't explain this in the rules, but if he gets a four, you also lose, Gareth. I apologize. Is that fair? The house always wins, I didn't explain this in the rules, but if he gets a four, you also lose, Gareth. I apologize.

Is that fair? The house always wins, I think. So what we need is something below a four. This is it, ladies and gentlemen. This is it. The moment we've all been waiting for. We're going to find out whether or not Gareth is cursed or blessed for all eternity.

Let's find out. Whoa! It's a two! You did it! He is blessed! Congratulations, Gareth! Congratulations! How do you feel, Gareth?

What's that? How do you feel? Great! Blessed! Blessed for all eternity! Fantastic, Gareth! Thank you so much, Gareth? What's that? How do you feel? Great. Blessed. Blessed for all eternity. Fantastic, Gareth. Thank you so much, Gareth.

Thank you so much for joining us. Big round of applause for Gareth, everyone. Thank you so much. Thank you, Gareth. Cheers. Thank you, buddy. It's really great that he's blessed because that is the only walking music we have it would have been pretty fucked up Yeah, if he was condemned and we sent him off with a big band would have been a bit awkward

But um what it was great That's the outcome that you really want from this show because I don't really know what it means to be like this level of blessed I assume I don't know if you're driving tonight, but you could just drink you'll be fine I assume, I don't know if you're driving tonight, but you can just drink. You'll be fine. Uh, no, no, no, no, no, no. You should just start jumping off shit. See what happens. Tall shit. Don't listen. We don't have the insurance for this kind of statement. But, uh, you know, I'm a bit of a gambler myself, guys. And they say in the world of gambling, you always win twice. I think that's a popular, popular phrase.

You're not a good gambler. you always win twice. I think that's a popular phrase. You're not a good gambler. So we have an idea. I don't know if it's going to work, but how about we all play? What do you think of that? Let's find out. Ladies and gentlemen,

it's time for all of us to play the dice of death. Is everybody ready? We're throwing it out! I'm about to throw this shit and y'all better be ready to catch it. Bat it around! Bat that shit around! It's gotta be like a Jack Johnson concert. Throw that shit!

Let's try and get it to the back and maybe even up to the balcony. Get it dripping! Get it dripping in the juices of everyone here! Oh yeah, we need to get this thing touched by as many condemned, I mean blessed souls as possible. There we go! There we go! Love it! Keep it going! Keep it going! We're rolling the dice for him!

This is amazing. Keep it going! Keep it going! Keep it going! Bow-bada-bow! We want everyone's fate to be sealed within this dice. Doesn't matter if you touch it or not, you're still cursed! Or blessed! Alright, now let's try and bring it back to the stage. Alright, let's get it back, let's get it back!

Come on! Cry surf this stuff. Let's go, let's go, let's go. Oh, this is fantastic! This is like Super Monkey Ball, but with more beer. Oh no, alright, I'm going! It's close, it's close! It's going, it's going! Fantastic this is like super monkey ball, but with more beer. Oh, no It's good. He's going he's going All right, we're throwing it on stage It's a three

It's in the middle He's right. He's right. Gareth, I'm sorry, because I'm pretty sure this is going to override whatever you got going on. So you guys let him down big time. He thought it was going to be a six. All right, guys, you know the drill. Let's swap over to our dice cam

and find out what is going to be the fate of everyone in this building. Not us. We've got immunity. There's some sort of force shield, I think. Even though I touched that shit, it doesn't count. I read the rules. I lied.

All right, guys, let's get a drum roll. This is for all of you. Let's get a drum roll and some oohs. Let's go. Here we go. Here we go. Three, two, one. It's a one!

We are the best! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Who do you think you are? I am! I feel it!

Congratulations, everyone! Now you don't get to see the sick, cursed animation I made for this thing. Now you guys have to come to London and Manchester and Glasgow. You know those f***ers are cursed. We are in God's country after all. It is kind of weird how excited we were to curse someone though.

Wow, that's incredible. Two blessings in one night. Truly something else. It almost makes up for the double no earlier. Guys, we want to thank you so much for coming out to see us live. Holy moly.

We've been wanting to do it. Thank you. Thank you. It's been huge. And this is the first live show we've done in over three years and we've never done it outside of London. And we honestly didn't know

if we'd be able to do one in Belfast, but y'all have shown us so much love, so thank you so much. Thank you. And you know, this is a huge part of doing this show live, is we want to make it something fun and interactive and something that you don't get necessarily, and make it a special occasion

when you come and watch us live. So hopefully you got that tonight with the Dice of Death. Something special, something special so I guess that's it so thank you so much and I guess if like if there was like another if there was like another paranormal story that I know we're we're at time so thank you so much we're gonna be huh huh? I think someone said, uh... I didn't hear shit. I didn't hear shit, so, cool.

Thanks, guys. Gonna... I think, uh... I think a few people... Can we get that shit done, actually? We're done? I think a few people said Dublin Gorilla Man. No, no one said that. No one said that. Didn't hear it.

Like, I mean, I could tell it. We don't have time. We obviously don't have time. I just feel like, I just feel a little bad because if I'd known, I would have prepared more and we would have, you know. Sure, I wouldn't have let you prepare, but sure. Dublin, many years ago.

What the f***? Where did this come from? Where did this come from? You have music? Will you stop interrupting? You said you were nothing prepared and you have music? I obviously prepared like a few little things just in case it came up. This is not okay. We are over. We're done.

Look, you're not gonna be complaining. I mean, listen to this. You're so happy with yourself. I found that piece of music, by the way. He's been rating my shit. This is how excited people are getting when they just hear a bit of the backing track.

Wait until you hear how excited they are when they hear how perfectly I recreated the cry of the beast itself. Hi, Rory. Dr. Torben here again. No! No! I really do think you should come in so that we can have a look at your ass. It's super important that we get a good, solid look at that ass.

Not what we were expecting, bud. Not what we were expecting again. Your phone, your voicemails, still hooked up. It was another voicemail. Jesus. We do say if you come see us live, it's a special

treat. You will hear the story of the Dublin Guerrilla Man. It is true. I always shut Rory's story down on the podcast but you know if he gets it out

of his f***ing system and if you guys promise to keep it quiet and not leak it maybe we could tell the story. You're sworn into a secret oath of silence

when you hear it at a live show because it does make it fun for other people who then haven't heard this story before. I was a young boy, all right? For those who don't know, my dad was a Little League baseball... Whoa, whoa, whoa.

We are getting into heavily redacted, heavily classified territory. If you want to hear that story, you're going to have to come see us live this October. We're in Los Angeles on the 6th, San Francisco on the 8th, Chicago on the 11th, New York City on the 15th, Somerville on the 16th, then over to Belfast on the 22nd, Manchester on the 24th, Glasgow on the 25th, and closing out with our biggest live show ever to date at the Hackney Empire in London on the 28th of October. Come celebrate Halloween with us. We cannot wait to see you in person. Get your tickets at

thisparanormallife.com. We will be back on Tuesday with a brand new paranormal tale. And of course, over on Patreon on Friday with the after party. And maybe before then, we'll see you in person on tour. Thank you for tuning in.