This Paranormal Life - FLASHBACK: The Michigan Dogman
Episode Date: June 6, 2024This is a FLASHBACK to episode #224, when we investigated a creature known as the Michigan Dogman. For years, this cryptid has stalked the residents of Wexford County, Michigan. Those who have seen it... describe a creature with a striking resemblance to the Beast of Bray road. Could these two cryptids be linked together? Or maybe, they're one in the same...Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, and YouTubeJoin our Secret Society Facebook CommunitySupport us on Patreon.com/ThisParanormalLife to get access to weekly bonus episodes!Buy Official TPL Merch! - thisparanormallife.com/storeIntro music by www.purple-planet.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hey guys, it's Rory here from This Paranormal Life.
Hopefully you've already heard this week's episode where Reese Darby and Dan Schreiber
joined us to investigate the Beast of Bray Road.
But believe it or not, this wasn't the first time that we investigated a mysterious dog-like
cryptid before.
We did a full case on the Michigan Dog Man back in episode 224.
Now seeing as we have some new listeners joining this week, we thought we'd do a little flashback
episode so you can easily listen to these cases back to back.
This is actually one of my favorite podcasts we ever recorded, so if you haven't heard
it yet, you're gonna want to stick around for the song.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed both episodes.
We'll be back next Tuesday for a brand new Paranormal Tale.
Look, let's dive into today's case, because it's a fun one, you know, because as this
show has grown, as this paranormal life has grown, we've been incredibly fortunate.
We've been able to bring on an amazing researcher, Amy, to help with our stories.
But because of a little incident that I'm referring to as Rory's Big F**k Up, this
week's episode is researched and written
entirely by me.
Oh. Yeah.
So what you're saying is we've been enjoying
you Coke for the last few months,
but we're actually going back to original recipe TPL.
No, we're going even further back.
This is swamp water in a Coke bottle.
This is the dark days of TPL. Yeah, this is gonna be a throwback This is the dark days of TPL.
Yeah, this is gonna be a throwback
to the olden days of TPL.
It's gonna be wild.
It's gonna be chaotic.
It's gonna be short for damn sure.
And at any given moment I might scream
or I might whisper.
You could always choose to do those things
because you've always hosted the podcast as well.
Okay.
You're telling me that was always an option?
The episode hasn't even started yet, really.
This is a case that we had emailed in a lot of times,
and I didn't really realize it until I searched for the keyword.
So thank you to Cal Benedict, Harris A, Abbey Kimmel, Will Prince, Caleb Dorman, Connor Watson, and Colin Sundin.
Colin Sundin emailed in this case November 2018.
So thank you for your patience.
Hope it's been worth the wait, my friend.
I like to think he wasn't trapped in his car with the beast scratching at the side of the
door.
There's a beast?
You gotta help me, brothers. Investigate this thing now
and tell me if a gun will kill it.
Con, I hope you're still alive.
My favorite request to investigate this case
came from Trevor Swartzlander.
The email subject was episode idea
and the contents just said, dog man of Michigan.
He is what he sound like.
So thank you, Trevor.
He really do sound like that, though.
He do be like that sometimes.
That was a little insight to what we're going to be investigating today.
A dog, a man, a dog man.
How does it? What is it? What does that even mean?
Did a dog f*** a man? Did a man f*** a dog?
Has the investigation started?
Conclusions?
Dots. I told you it was going to be a short one, brother.
So this is going to be hopefully an exciting chapter in the lineage
of TPL investigations into hybrids.
The donkey lady, the frog man.
Mm hmm. The well, we kind of just did one on big cats as well.
So interesting to move into dog territory.
Look, let's get right into our story, all right?
Our case today begins in 1887 in Wexford County, Michigan.
A group of lumberjacks are out in the woods,
working hard in the evening sun,
chopping trees and loading them up
to return to the village that evening.
Come on, boys, last few trees and we'll call it a day.
I got a nice cold beer with my name on it.
Just as the men were finishing their work, they heard something nearby in the bushes.
What was that?
Again, more rustling.
Christ alive.
Toss me my axe!
As the men went to investigate, a huge wild dog-like creature shot out of the bushes and scrambled down the hill
We're moving very fast. You're gonna have to keep up. I refuse to slow down and I might scream
I might whisper
Me looks like we got a wild dog boys a big one, too
Now knowing that a wild dog this big could really do some damage to the local town
The gang decided to track
its paw prints and chase it down and let's face it, probably axe it to death.
That's an unlucky dog that stumbled across a band of thirsty lumberjacks with axes in
their hands about to clock off for the day.
Yeah, both of these groups have been terrified with this encounter.
You don't want to get in between a man with an axe and his ice cold beer at the end of
the day.
Because you're going to get axed.
You're going to get axed to heart.
You're not going to win that battle.
That's a battle my mother-in-law tries to win sometimes when she calls me at 5.30pm
and she hasn't won yet.
The gang managed to catch up to the creature and the hunt was on.
They chased it through the woods relentlessly until eventually it darted
into a hollow log trying to hide.
Now, if you're going to hide from a lumberjack,
probably shouldn't hide in anything made of wood, let alone a tree.
Yeah, it's like hiding from a bee in a bee hive
or hiding from a bee in a flower.
They don't have to be all bee related,
but those are the only two I could think of.
Hiding from a bee in his own hive.
I mean, it's a real galaxy brain type approach.
Yeah.
To use an analogy from a recent episode,
it's a bit like being in the villains,
Fun House of Mers.
Yeah. You were were being the bee is
cackling like the joker chasing you around the honeycombs. yeah you were being chased by the
joker and you hid in a carnival. it's his home he owns the car he runs the carnival. it appeared
like the beast was trapped but instead of just axing it into oblivion the men wanted to get a
look at this dog so they gathered sticks from the forest floor
and began jabbing into the darkness.
Oh, babe.
But instead of a dog's growl,
the men heard a human scream.
Oh!
Oh!
Good, they put the axes down, man.
Oh, fuck!
What the hell was that?
In an instant, the creature burst out of the log, appearing
in full view in front of the lumberjacks. This was no dog, it was some sort of horrible
half dog half man beast. Oh no. The men immediately dropped their weapons and scattered into the
forest as the beast disappeared behind them. Geez.
This was the first sighting of the creature known as the Michigan Dog Man.
Oh, I did say I was going to be yelling.
What are your thoughts so far, Kit?
We're moving fast today.
Just like a classic old school TPL.
Wow.
This thing must have been really terrifying to make all these grown ass lumberjacks with
weapons in hand run away like children.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What?
Because I said what?
This is 1987, I believe.
I thought you said it.
Oh, 1887.
1887.
Getting the year wrong. Just like a classic good old TPL
Episode this was 1887 and these were lumberjacks. It doesn't really
Astronauts didn't exist at that point. So this was as manly as you could get
That's where we put our bravest best and brightest was out in the lumber fields
Yeah, so to terrify these grown men,
I mean, they were kind of asking for it, I guess, by-
Poking it, literally prodding it.
Poking the sleeping bear.
Yeah, not a good idea.
They kind of got what was coming to them.
I will say calling this thing the dog man
is doing it a bit of a disservice,
because as you kind of got from that description,
even though it has some human elements to it, it's not like some of the other creatures
we've investigated that have just the legs of a man and the head of a dog.
Yeah.
It's not, you know, Val Kilmer with the body of a Dachshund or I don't know, Jeff Goldblum
with the head of a golden retriever.
I have an artist illustration here of what they believe the beast actually looked like.
Holy! That is not good!
My heart is palpitating right now.
I would have run very far if I had seen this.
This is,
this is the stature of a jacked six foot five quarterback,
but also somehow a wolf.
Yeah, it's an enormous werewolf essentially.
Terrifying fangs, absolutely hideous.
It'd be scary enough if it did have the head of a man, but it doesn't, it has the head of a wolf with fangs. Absolutely hideous. It'd be scary enough if it did have the head of a man, but it doesn't.
It has the head of a... a wolf with fangs?
I'll be honest, it's just a wolf on its hind legs.
That's the only man thing about it. It's standing up.
It's got a bit of...
Which is pretty f***ed up, by the way.
It's basically a wolf with abs.
It's a... don't get me wrong, it's a furry lover's wet dream.
He's got BD.
That's for sure.
Yeah, this could either be evidence in a case or Twitter fan art.
It's hard to it's hard to say sometimes they're both.
The Michigan Dogman is described as a seven foot tall.
He looks taller in this to be fair blue eyed or sometimes amber eyed
bipedal wolf beast with the torso of a man.
His scream also strangely sounds like a human,
sometimes described as the sound of a baby screaming.
That's weird.
It's really horrible, isn't it?
That thing running around, goo goo gaga, this and that.
You'd think the scariest thing it could do
would be a roar roar a beastly roar
Yeah, but if you were poking it with a stick and it went way
Yeah, okay. This is a law. This is kind of fucked
I'm gonna put the stick down because I feel like you're the baby of something bigger
Like I am poking a child. Oh, I'm just a little baby
No, stop. Don't fuck with me. Yeah, it's basically the plot to
the ancient myth from our neck of the woods in Northern Ireland about Finn McCool and
whenever a giant came over from Scotland to beat the shit out of Finn McCool, Finn McCool in a stroke of genius
pretended to be his own baby.
Yeah. Because then the Scottish giant said,
well, me if that's the baby of Finn McCool,
I don't want to actually meet Finn McCool.
And he ran off.
Yeah, it was a stroke of genius and true cowardice
to pretend to be a baby to get out of a fight.
You know, that would be like getting into an argument
at the line for McDonald's.
And then when with her like,
oh, challenge me one-on-one in the car park.
I'm gonna beat the shit out of you.
And you're like, oh, will we?
You're gonna beat the shit out of your baby, will we?
And they're like, you're a grown man.
I can see you're an adult.
You spoke fine two minutes ago
when you called me a piece of shit.
So you wouldn't hurt little old me.
He f***ing decks me in the nose oh
oh holy shit oh oh my god oh my god i can't believe you hit a baby that is so f***ed up i do a lot of things to get out of a fight i don't know if i pretend to be my own child
to get out of it yeah it was a bold move because he's lucky the giant didn't then just go fine.
If I have to kill someone on here and Finn McCool is around, I'm going to kill his wife.
He's like, no, I mean, no, don't kill my mommy.
It's a good thing that the Scottish giant was like, I guess I'll kill his child then. It's just strangles Finn McCool dressed as a baby.
Which is probably worse because now you lost the fight
and your giant dead corpse is just lying on a hilltop
in a diaper.
That's not how you want to be remembered.
Well, as I said, the first sighting was in 1887,
but the dogman continued to terrorize locals in the following
years.
People would complain about livestock going missing, about a giant figure dashing through
the forest at night, claiming that they saw a wolf that would stand up on its two back
legs and walk about like a f***ing animatronic.
That's crazy.
And this beast is not shy either unlike other cryptids.
In the summer of 1938, 17 year old Robert Fortney was out fishing on the banks of
a river after a long day of hunting. As he cast his line out on top of the river,
he heard the sound of growling from behind. He slowly turned to see a whole
pack of feral dogs emerging from the woods.
They must have picked up the scent of Robert's hunt.
As the pack of dogs cautiously approached Robert, he carefully reached down for his
rifle.
Raising it to the sky, he fired a warning shot into the air.
The dogs whimpered and scattered back into the forest.
Except for one.
Uh oh.
A huge black dog with deep, beautiful eyes.
Laughing like an anime villain.
Oh, oh, oh.
They were blue, Robert said.
What kind of dog has blue eyes?
Robert and this giant dog stared each other down before Robert pointed his rifle in the
air again.
I'm not messing with you, you beautiful blue-eyed bastard! He fired another round
into the sky, but the dog seemed unfazed. Then without warning, the creature stood
up on its hind legs, glaring at him before slowly turning and walking away. What?
It was like, I'm just letting you know I'm not scared, but I'm not, I'm not about this.
I'm not about to get into a gunfight.
It's kind of like, I think it's a real power move.
It's like in the Indiana Jones movies where I'm pretty sure this happens in every single
Indiana Jones movie.
He's in the middle of a fight scene and then he punches a Nazi that's like eight foot tall,
and the Nazi just stands there and takes it.
Right, sure.
And then he like, you know, is like,
oh, dust off your jacket, sir.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a classic gag.
That's kind of what happened here,
is he's like firing a gun, stressing out all the wolves,
and then this one giant 10 foot Nazi wolf
just stands up on its back legs and it's like,
okay, I apologize, sir.
I don't know that we want to, this thing is pretty bad,
but I don't know if we want to call it a Nazi wolf.
Yeah, I should, you can't throw around that term.
I'm sure there is a Nazi wolf cryptid out there in the world.
I don't want those two to get confused.
I mean, this thing is dangerous,
but it hasn't committed war crimes yet.
In a phone interview in 1987, Robert said,
it reared up on its hind legs and just stared at me.
It may be that I was just scared,
but I swear that dog was smiling at me.
What?
Really creepy, isn't it?
The human side is coming out a lot more.
A smile, beautiful blue eyes, it screams like a baby.
There were so many sightings that it wasn't long before the Dogman became a local legend.
In 1987, local DJ Steve Cook recorded a song titled, The Legend, which he wrote as sort
of a joke for April Fool's Day.
Mm-hmm.
The idea was that he'd sing about this weird, ambiguous creature and tell stories of its attacks over the years.
I don't really understand how that's a joke, but hey, whatever.
Yeah, a lot of the victims are still alive.
Let's, uh, why don't we give it a listen? I'm gonna give you the laptop, so feel free to pause it at any point because there's a lot going on in this song. Okay, cool. I'm looking forward to this though. It's not often that we get a case punctuated by cultural interpretation. Sometimes I guess we get like an artist interpretation, but a musical interpretation. Pretty cool, right? Learning history through song. Yeah, so I'm really hoping that we get some valuable insights from this and really
he'll hear about the window there.
So it was, you know, obviously a dog.
It's a good beat, it's a solid beat.
I'm really feeling the age of this song already.
It's a lot more melancholy than I thought it was gonna be.
Little offbeat there but that's fine. The production value is not tremendous. No, it has not been A cool summer morning in early June is when the legend began.
At a nameless Logan camp in Wexford County where the Manistee River ran.
Eleven lumberjacks near the Garland swamp found an animal.
Okay, it's barely a rap.
Just right off.
How dare you, sir?
He's bearing his soul. I think he just recorded himself telling the story and then after the fact added instruments and a beat.
Yeah, there's not that much kind of rhythm and passion behind it. It's quite a it's like the redneck version of mumble rap. We're just kind of telling a story about a paranormal creature.
rap where you're just kind of telling a story about a paranormal creature but you're like, oh yeah, Bigfoot in the woods, man got a lot of shit going on.
You know, it's like, sorry it doesn't fit into your number one cookie cutter pop music.
No, I'm not saying it's bad.
It defies genre, that's for sure.
It's also four minutes long In a playful mood they chased it around till it ran inside a hollow log
First story is the first longer named Johnson grabbed him a stick poked around inside
Then the thing let out an unearthly scream and came out
And stood up right
and stood upright. Pretty good huh?
Just waiting for the chorus to drop.
None of those men ever said very much about whatever happened then.
They just packed up their belongings and left that night
or never heard from again.
It was ten years later in 97 when a farmer near Buckley was found.
Slumped over his plow, his heart had stopped. There were dog tracks all around.
You didn't tell me this story.
A guy, it murdered a guy.
We don't know what happened to the guy.
His heart stopped.
OK, not because it was necessarily removed from his body with claws.
Yeah, this is look, we don't I don't have time to tell you all the stories of the dog.
Well, it feels like that's a pretty important one.
See, in his in one, he just screamed like a baby.
Yeah, I left out, there's a story coming up here where he stole a bus and drove it downtown
for three hours in a police chase.
Oh my.
Yeah.
Seven years past the turn of the century, they say a crazy old widow had a dream
of dogs that circled her house at night.
They walked like men screamed.
That's why that's yeah, that's why I left out some of the stories,
because some of them are dreams, which seems like not very solid evidence
to base a case on.
I mean, the dog man isn't that active if 10 years after the first sighting, okay, it was
implicated in the murder of one man.
Then seven years later, someone had a dream about it.
Those are the two most notable cases.
They're really grasping at straws there.
And we're half way through the song.
There's still another two minutes plus to go.
We're already on to dreams.
We're already 20 years after the first sighting.
Somebody smelt him in a car park one night.
That was case number four.
17 years later, someone had a daydream about the bitch.
Instrumental breakdown here.
Sure. near the roadside a four horse team lay dead with their eyes open wide when the event finished up his examination he said it looked like they died of fright
in 37 a schooner captain said several crewmen...
They're jumping ahead 17 years I called it 17 years later. The news had reported, a pack of wild dogs roaming Bowers harbor.
His story was never reported.
I don't quite understand that one.
In 57, a man of the claw found claw marks on an old church door.
The newspaper said they'd been made by a dog.
He'd had to stood seven foot four.
He's thinking he's going to say the line and then he just does it.
I like that dramatic pause.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Yeah, these claw marks are made by a dog a
7 foot 4 dog
Did I mention
In 67 a van load of hippies told a park ranger named Quimlin
They'd been awakened in the night by a scratch at the window
There was a dog man looking in and grinning.
In 77, there were screams in the night near the village of Bel Air.
Could have been a bobcat, could have been the wind, nobody looked up there.
Then in the summer of 87, near Luther, it happened again.
And a cabin in the woods, it looked like maybe someone had tried to break in.
There were cuts around the doors that could only been made by very sharp teeth
and claws. He didn't wear shoes because he didn't have feet.
He walked up just to pause.
Bit of a stretch of the rhyming scheme there.
How do I get from here to pause?
Because I wouldn't really...
The dog man is a terrifying beast,
like something out of Bloodborne. I would never describe what he has as pause.
Yeah, he also has a lot of very, very defining characteristics, one of which is not the absence of shoes.
You don't have to mention how much he doesn't have shoes because he's got a lot of other
things.
He didn't wear shoes because he didn't have feet.
He wore no top and he wore no pants.
He wore no clothes at all.
I'm just going to go ahead and say this song is five minutes forty.
It probably could have been two minutes.
You probably could have left out the dream one.
And we've had several cases now where people I think just found pause on the ground.
I need the radio version of this single.
So far this year, no stories have appeared.
Have the dogmen gone away?
Have they disappeared?
Dogmen?
There's more than one dog?
There's been loads of them.
Do you wanna hear all these stories about gangs of dogmen
walking around the street terrorizing people
like a gang out of West Side Story?
I thought whenever the guy shot at them and they all scarpered,
I was getting like, have you seen that movie?
What's it called? Like Wolf Walkers or something?
No, I have.
It seems like something I should have watched before I did this case.
I mean, no spoiler alert, really.
But there's a lot of regular wolves and one or two pretty special wolves
And that's what I was picturing got it leader of the pack leader of the pack who has supernatural abilities
Yeah, I mean it changes story to story
Anyone any story where there is a pack of wolves as we saw sometimes there's one dog, man
But it feels like in some of these stories. They're like they're just walking around all together
Okay, well that's fair enough.
That makes me feel a lot better
about the massive time scale this has happened over.
Soon enough, I guess we'll know
because this is the time to fear
or another 10 years has come around.
The seventh year is here.
And somewhere in the Northwood's darkness, a creature walks upright.
And the best advice you may ever get...
is don't go out at night. Musical break. We need another solo 30 seconds before the end of the song.
I feel like he's wrapped up, but I feel like he might drop some lore.
Okay, there's a wolf howl.
That's important.
This is all important to the story.
We can't skip any of this.
The YouTube video ends with the frame reading, comment below if you've had a dog man encounter.
Are there any comments?
62!
Whoa!
I don't know how many of those are legit sightings though. I gotta be honest, I'm still a bit
cold on the idea of using this as evidence going forward.
Well, as I said, the song was originally written as an April Fool's joke.
So, uh, you know, using it as hardcore evidence in the case feels a bit like a bit of an insult
to the Dog Man himself.
But despite the song originally being intended as a joke, after broadcasting the track, the
phone lines at the station started lighting
up. Callers from all over Michigan dialing in to tell Steve Cook that it's no joke. The
creature he was describing in that song was real. Steve said, We started getting all kinds
of calls from people who said, That's no joke. That's a real legend around here. Several
of them said that they've seen the beast with their own eyes.
Jesus.
Pretty crazy to have this song that you're kind of doing as a joke,
but you're doing it in a place where a lot of people genuinely believe that that happened.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
You're gonna stir up a reaction for sure.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
A lot of the stories we talk about on this show
that are considered myths by many people,
even the most ancient ones,
a lot of people still believe them to this day.
So I can see this happening
with a lot of different cases we've covered
that you go to make a light joke about it,
maybe a little rap about vampires,
and the phone lines have been lit up with people pissed off that you're
making fun of vampire culture.
This would kind of be the equivalent of going to a nursery filled with kids
and rapping about Santa Claus.
You know, it's like I was sitting alone one Christmas night when I heard enough
at the chimney.
He had a big old sack full of toys and he was looking to give me.
And it's like, OK, don't joke about Chris Kringle, OK?
Because I have it on good. This is the kid.
I have a good authority from my mom that he is real.
And if you don't believe in him, you're not going to get shit.
Yeah.
And I feel like being in this room where we're all having a fun and a laugh about him,
that I feel like I might get taken off his list.
And so I'm gonna start putting my fingers in my ears.
La la la la.
One of the reasons that I like this approach
towards the paranormal is because,
even though it was intended as a bit of a joke,
after they broadcast this, the track became pretty much
a number one song at the station.
People were calling in to request it all the time. No! They were selling CDs and
tapes of it all over America. It is no melody of any kind. No hook. People, but it
doesn't need a hook because the truth doesn't need a hook, Kit. The truth
doesn't need to rhyme. It's five and a half minutes long.
But it got me thinking, you know,
do I have a case that people don't take seriously
from my life?
Sure, the Dublin gorilla man.
And I've been trying to tell people about it for years,
but no one will take it seriously.
So the only logical thing for me to do.
God no.
Was to write- What have you done?
A song, write a rap about it. So, uh,
why did you just clear your throat? Ladies and gentlemen, um, why are you addressing the audience?
I'm excited to, uh, to debut my new single called the Dublin gorilla man, uh, to hopefully raise
some awareness about this, this terrifying beast. Oh my god.
Let's do this.
Let me tell y'all about the time I saw Gorilla Man.
Oh my god.
I was only a boy.
But it's pretty f***ed up what happened.
What is his voice?
15 years I've been alive, down to Dublin, I had to drive, playing baseball with my friends.
I was only a boy, just becoming a man.
We were walking slow and before our eyes, a monkey man caught us by surprise.
It was new to me, did not come true to me.
I barely hit motherf***ing puberty.
Dublin Gorilla Man.
Are you real or am I mad?
Dublin Gorilla Man.
Where the f*** did you go, b****?
That's enough! That's quite enough.
Oh, okay.
You've said quite enough, I think.
There is four more courses and like the verses
that really get into the details though.
Absolutely not.
Dublin Gorilla Man.
No, I don't want to hear another lyric.
You had your chance in the past to discuss this case
and we have given you more than enough
time and space to discuss it and get your feelings out about it.
I don't know why you don't just go to a therapist about this.
I don't know why you don't go to anyone else but me about this.
I feel like if you just let me finish the song, then it would kind of be like a, it's
like a therapy way of like getting the story out there.
No, because the people who hear this will need therapy.
Right. It's just I paid.
I paid a lot of money for some guest artists to appear in like the second half.
So it's just a bit of a waste if I don't get you get as a guest on this track
for the first verse Kanye.
There's no way the The second, Nelly.
I blew most of my money on Kanye.
Such an incongruous lineup on this track.
I wish I'd started with the Nelly course
because that would have teed up the Kanye one.
For chart potential, you could have just ditched Nelly
and just stuck with Kanye.
Well, I already got Nelly involved
and it was kind of rude to say,
Kanye agreed Nelly, we don't need you to do the song anymore.
I can't say that, he's already recorded it.
He actually recorded more than I needed and sent it over.
Did Kanye rap about the Dublin Gorilla Man?
Yeah, I think he says gorilla once
and then it's mostly about drugs and money.
But the Nelly course, you're gonna love the Nelly course.
He pretty much recites the whole story start to finish.
So if you just, I can tee it up here actually.
I'll just go straight to the Nelly one.
That's enough!
My MacBook!
You have misused your laptop too many times.
First you exposed me to the Dog Man song,
now you expose me to the Gorilla Man song.
No more laptop laptop laptop privileges
revoked Wow I guess I don't know folks maybe I have like a backup tape
somewhere that I could release maybe at a live show that would be fun do like a
live performance of the Gorilla Man song we usually like to tell that story at
live shows anyway so maybe I'll just wrap it instead to save time. Five minutes 40 of instrumental breaks versus
unreleased stories from that day.
Can you imagine hearing that there's a
this paranormal live show, like a tour across America,
you, me and Nelly doing a world tour?
Well, I know on this podcast,
what we love and what we lack the most is evidence,
especially in cryptid cases, because let's face it,
the problem with these cases is a lot of the time,
the evidence that we do have could have often been caused
by regular animals, even in the incredible track
that we heard earlier, not mine, I know there
were two incredible tracks, but the first one, the former, a lot of the stories that
were mentioned in that song are just someone finding paw prints.
Yeah, not to drag it up again, but one was a dream.
We're not talking about the dream. I wish I hadn't included the dream. I could have cut that out, which is because like 45 minutes of my rap are dreams and nightmares.
So I really shouldn't have mentioned that.
Yeah, because actually seeing the Dublin gorilla man was like fleeting super fast.
We covered it. You let me say it all.
The rest of it is dreams and nightmares.
The rest of his impact in your life is just trauma, dreams, nightmares.
Yeah, lying in bed, dreams in my head, I'm a banana running in the field.
Yeah, it's mostly like me being a banana.
I wake up in a cold sweat, piss myself again, thinking about the Gorilla Man.
Wake up in a cold sweat again, except this time I wasn't sweating, I was pissed, pissed
myself again.
Got to work, pissed my pants, gorilla man in my head.
PPP, this monkey.
So, OK, so most of it is you pissing yourself and having bad dreams as an adult.
Saw a banana, pissed myself.
While searching online, I managed to find some evidence that claims to be
I managed to find some evidence that claims to be unedited audio of an emergency call received by the OnStar Emergency Call Center in Troy, Michigan from 2006, only 15 years
ago.
Wow.
This is as real as it gets.
If another beat drops in this episode, I'm going to lose it.
999, what's your emergency?
Let me tell you.
If you don't tell me what your emergency is, I have to hang up. Grab my gun off my shelf
in the dark, piss myself. Okay, no, that's not an emergency, sir. It's a bathroom emergency.
All right, get ready. Get ready. I'm ready for some evidence. Best believe.
I'll start emergency.
This is Kyle speaking.
How can I help you?
Hello?
Something just ran in front of us on the road.
We're in the ditch.
We rolled over.
How many people are in the car?
Has anyone injured?
There's two of us.
I don't think we have an injury.
Is the car in the ditch?
No.
I think it's in the ditch.
I think it's in the ditch.
I think it's in the ditch.
I think it's in the ditch.
I think it's in the ditch.
I think it's in the ditch.
I think it's in the ditch. I think it's in the ditch. I think it's in the ditch. I think it's in the ditch. I think it's in the ditch. We rolled over. How many people are in the car? Has anyone injured?
There's two of us. I don't think we have any injuries.
Is the car on its top or wheels or what?
No, it's kind of sitting on its side.
One moment please while I contact emergency services.
Okay.
Okay, the state police should be on their way in a few minutes. Is everyone still okay?
Yeah, I think we're okay. What rain in front of you a deer?
What the hell it was what it was big it looked like a great big dog
Standing up was it a bear maybe
Hello Hello? What? Are you still there? Just happened. Sir? Okay, then I think it does go into a wrap, to be fair, in the second half of that video.
That's got to be the most action-pack packed piece of evidence I think we've ever revealed
on the podcast. I think the dog man went back and made him redact his statement to the police.
He was like, do you just f***ing out me? You've f***ing ratted on me. You just lost your throat privileges asshole heart revoked now I will say me claiming that this is
unedited unedited audio of an emergency call well I mean it started segueing
into a rap track so it's some oh yeah and I think the rap is let me skip for
it a little bit
just don't go out what the fuck What the f**k is this?
This is different rap.
That was a different rap.
He made a sequel.
The best advice you may ever get.
It's an acoustic version of the legend.
He's don't go out at night.
It's the same.
So it's the same rap, but a different beat.
But there's also two minutes left.
What else is in this video?
No, we can't listen to this.
Okay, then there's three minutes of silence afterwards.
He's trying to get played
on the country music radio stations as well.
Then there's that EDM version.
Jugga, jugga, jugga, dog man.
Guah, guah, guah, guah, guah, guah, guah.
Raise those f***ing paws up. Guah, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta. Jugga jugga jugga dog man
Wow, I really didn't realize that music and rapping was gonna be such a huge part of this investigation
But here we are It's it's the YouTube video uploaded from a stranger that claims that this is actual an actual recording from the emergency services
Okay, so we have to take that with a pinch of salt.
It seems a little action packed, a little to action packed to be genuine.
I mean, the guy who had supposedly just rolled his car started laughing as he described the dog man.
Well, as you would, because you'd be like, oh, you're not going to believe this, buddy.
Guess what I saw? He almost died.
I wouldn't think he'd be laughing.
Look that pretty much concludes the evidence portion
of today's case.
But as we know we wouldn't be sorry.
Is it something funny?
Your evidence portion was a prank call.
It was a prank call a rap and some borderline furry hentai
that I showed you as evidence at the start of the podcast. I mean, this is how they rock it down in Michigan.
I gotta spend some time there,
because I like the approach.
I really gotta clap that one out.
If you like that, you're gonna really love my next case,
which is a horny octopus.
There's some really, really good evidence for that one.
Because a guy made a mi good evidence for that one.
A guy made a mix tape about that shit.
It's a 14 track, 12 rap rapper feature album.
I was, I was floating in the ocean and my butthole was exposed.
Okay. You said quite enough, sir.
I don't think we need to hear anymore of that rap. No hentai could have predicted the danger that was posed.
Jesus Christ.
The one f***ing case that Amy didn't research.
This is what it descends to.
I think she's quit.
She doesn't want to be affiliated with this.
Look, we know we're not doing a proper job if we don't look at, even consider, or entertain
the logical explanations behind this story.
Sure.
To start off, the local DJ who wrote the song, The Legend, claims that he believes that the
legend of the Dog Man and his frightening iconic appearance
could have stemmed from Native American lore.
He says that there was this warlike tribe that allegedly had the ability to transform themselves
into any creature they chose when going into battle.
Cook said what the tribe probably did is cover themselves with wolf pelts while preparing to fight. Could
those legends have been embedded in the folklore and the history and the upbringing of people
in Michigan to the point where maybe it's not so crazy to see some sort of dog-like
human wandering in the forests?
Fascinating. This does definitely cry back to our investigation into skin walkers and things like that.
These Native American medicine men gone mad, possessed by demons, corrupted.
And they would wear like wolf pelts.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a popular bit of attire.
So I could kind of see that if maybe that kind of imagery is embedded in the history of your town.
Totally.
Then yeah, maybe it's not so strange.
I mean, you know, we really should think about these things more
just because the United States of America has this, you know,
couple hundred year old history.
We think that everything's been whitewashed and started from scratch.
But goddamn, it makes a lot more sense if all these modern myths
are obviously just embedded in the local folklore.
Exactly.
Others believe that the dogman is simply a wolf or some sort of wolf hybrid,
that because of some incident in its life, it's missing a forelimb, meaning it has to learn how to move upright to survive.
That's very logical.
It's running around on two legs is what they're saying because it doesn't have front paws.
I mean, is that a weird is that that weird?
I feel like I've seen Dodo videos where a cat has lost its paws and now it walks about
like a human.
It does happen.
It does happen very occasionally with dogs.
Yeah, and cats.
Yeah. So maybe that's not as weird as you think.
This thing has kind of learned to...
I don't think it's just learned to stand up and look at men.
Yeah, I don't know if it explains the story of the man shooting a warning shot and this
wolf stands up on his hind legs, scared of nothing.
Smiled at him smiling with
Glistening blue eyes. Yeah doesn't quite explain the like screaming like a baby either
Some of the stories that are included in that original song
I don't know how it can enter people's dreams. For example, that's pretty paranormal
But as I said, you know if we want to do the responsible thing
We have to at least entertain some of these logical explanations.
What if, something we don't talk about often enough, what if all of the above is true?
What if one person has heard the folklore and they've got it into their head that way?
What if one person sees a wolf missing a front paw for some reason running through the woods?
And then those two people get together and talk about their experiences and decide that it must be the same thing and it concocts the image of the Michigan dogman when in reality it's two very separate experiences.
Yeah, I mean, as we said, this story began in the late 1800s where, you know, wild dogs were a thing, attacking livestock, stalking humans,
leaving paw prints and scratches on stuff.
If you already have some folklore
involving some sort of wolf man,
possibly a wolf that's been injured
and can move about on its back legs,
and all these attacks and weird markings,
yeah, all of those things combined together
is really what the Michigan Dogman is.
And I think that teases us up for a very smart, well thought out conclusion.
Kit, yay or nay, paranormal or not, what do you think about the Michigan Dogman?
As excited as I am to receive evidence in the form of rap, It says a lot about the status of the evidence in this case
that there isn't enough concrete stuff
to say that this thing exists today
and is running around harassing the locals of Michigan.
So I guess for me, it has to be a no.
Yeah, as you said, quite an exciting case,
but let's face it, if the backbone of your evidence
is a rap and dreams
Then the creature involved probably doesn't exist if that's what you're having to resort to. Yeah, it's an excellent
example of a
beautiful alive and living
Folklore and myth but not exactly great evidence of a physical beast.
Yeah, and I think that's where we're landing here with a double no, folks.
But thank you so much to everyone for emailing in that suggestion.
I can't believe it took us so long to get to that one.
I mean, if I'd heard the rap on day one, y'all should have said,
have you got raps supporting your cases you want us to cover?
100 percent.
Or if you want to record your own freestyle rap?
And send them in, that would be great.
We would love to play them on the show and laugh about them.
I actually am always looking for more artists to collaborate with in future verses of the
Dublin Guerilla Man rap because I feel like-
Please don't encourage them.
Really when you come, when it boils down to it, it's an album.
It's a full album and the first track would be getting to double.
Laurie's family have contacted me and insisted that I get make him move past this.
It's a psychological like roadblock.
He hasn't been able to move past it.
We really think that if people stop encouraging him in the believing in the Dublin
Gorilla Man, they'll be able to move on the rest of his life.
They will be able to stop wetting his bed.
Halt fingers crossed. Not there yet. Not there yet. But we're getting there.
I mean, the sad thing is, off camera I could say this, but he's recorded
nigh on 1100 raps about the Dublin Guerrilla man.
I've spent a lot of money. I've spent a lot of money on Studio Time and Guest Artists
and PR and it's really not picking up.
Really, people are not.
I don't know what it is.
Is there not enough Nelly in it?
Because I'm paying the dude two Gs a day
just to lay down some, he's in 90% of the songs.
You're putting Nelly's kids through college
for him to write lazy verses about the Dublin Guerilla, man.
Yeah, I was done with the song and the event years ago, but Nelly is like, I really think
we need to drop another, drop another single about it.
He's president of the Dublin Guerrilla Awareness Association.
I was trying to think the original Guerrilla Man was Nelly in a monkey outfit.
It was a 25 year grift.
As you know, folks, the best way to support the show is patreon.com where you can get a bunch of
cool shit like bonus episodes and merchandise. We also have the This Paranormal Life store,
which is pretty great. You can get some amazing t-shirts there, all of which can be accessed,
as I found out recently, without the use of a wizard sacrifice.
You can just, you know, you're not going to get into that straight in a pending court
case.
I'm not supposed to be talking about that really.
Um, so definitely check it out.
But if you want to keep up to date with this paranormal life, the latest paranormal memes,
all the behind the scenes action, the best place to do that is on social media, on Instagram,
on Twitter, on Facebook, in our secret society.
All of the links will be in the description of the podcast.
So check them out.
So thank you so much to everyone
for listening to this week's episode of the podcast.
I hope you had a great time.
I hope you enjoyed everything,
from the evidence to the pictures to the rap.
Get your drum machines warmed up.
We wanna hear fire raps, fire beats.
I want to hear fire in the booth about your cryptid of choice.
That would be hilarious.
That would be great.
Who knows?
It might even get played on an episode of the podcast.
Maybe a bonus episode.
We can just critique everyone's paranormal raps.
That would be amazing.
To play us out, this week is my main man Nelly dropping some hot beats.
So thank you everyone for listening to this week's episode of this paranormal life.
Oh, yo, let me tell you about the Dublin Gorilla Man. Yeah Chachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachachach