This Past Weekend - Bill Burr | This Past Weekend #231

Starting point is 00:00:00 I am, man I'm nervous actually, today's guest is my favorite comedian living, my favorite living comedian and so I'm excited that he's here. He has a new special on Netflix called Paper Tiger and he has a podcast called The Monday Morning Podcast and it also comes out sometimes on Thursdays. He's one of a kind. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Bill Byrne. Yeah, you'll see, you get too fucking, you gotta like once you, once you, yeah, you know, it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, and then all of a sudden, nose become yes out here and then, then you just feel like, you know, the first time you get yes is you go okay to everything and then, then all of a sudden you just don't have any fucking time

Starting point is 00:01:08 and then you go to like dial it back and then try to find like quality. But yeah, that's, I just had to, I just took some dates off of the books. I was, I got a bunch of stress, man. I was starting to lose my mind, I thought. Oh yeah, no, that's, it affects everybody differently. So I just, yeah, I just, this is a good thing too. It's just lie and just say you're not available that week. I'm not in town. Oh, I already had them sold and I had to take them down. Oh, that G, I wouldn't put that on the podcast. Yeah, they know. They all know. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:01:36 I still wouldn't do that. Oh. Because you don't know, you don't need bookers looking at that. This guy's always a fucking wild card. Yeah, it was a, man, it was a bummer. It was, some of it was a bummer, but some of we just moved the dates and I'll just feel better when I get there. But I was, I was just like experienced like a ton of stress, man, burnt out. You know, I've been on the same tour for this hour for almost over a year now. Dude, bands tour for like four years and then fucking go right back in the studio, make another one and keep going. You got to toughen up, man.

Starting point is 00:02:03 Yeah, you're right, huh? You know, camouflage hat looking like a fucking backwards guy, all tough and shit. You can't handle doing your hour again to me. Come on, man. Suck it up. Fuck, man. I think I need some blood transfusions or something. I really do, but I don't know what happened to me. No, but it's not bad if it, there's the other side too, where you're getting run down and you don't listen to it and then you get sick. So there's always that work yourself to death, which I've seen a few people do in this business literally died. Yeah. So there's definitely, you know, why you're in touch with your feelings. That's, that's good.

Starting point is 00:02:37 Yeah, man. I got too many of them. I think if you beat me open, just a lot of feelings sometimes would come out too many, you know, I think I'm a, yeah, somehow I got caught up in some of that feeling generation, you know, just too many feelings. What year were you born? 1980. 1980. 1980. 1980. So, oh yeah, you're the first millennial. The first year of millennials was like 1980 or something like that. I could see that. Yeah. I thought they were all like, you had to be born like 2000 or later, but it meant like you were buying shit. I think that's all I care about. You know, when, when, when do you finally have money that you can buy shit? And it's usually around 18,

Starting point is 00:03:18 I think. So you would have been 98. Maybe it's 82. I don't fucking. I think it's late. Yeah. 80, I think was still a little bit of like, there was still more like some, you know, heavy car doors. I remember a lot of that, you know, car doors that were squeak and real heavy. You had to get your brother to help you close it. You know, I remember more station wagons, big, violent fucking station wagons. Oh, wagons are awesome. I love, I love a station wagon. I remember the motor opening the car and just seeing two pieces under there. You know, that thing with the, um, where you put the air filter in and mom would open that and go like this and then close it back up. Man, air filter. Yeah. Air filter housing, I guess you'd call it.

Starting point is 00:03:55 Yeah, that was it. Underneath the engine carburetor. Mom would open that up and close it and then just fucking curse my dad. That was it every time. Oh, I think she was probably fucking with the carburetor. Yeah, I think she was trying to. Mom got an old cop car for a while and that was pretty cool. And we would drive run at night and pretend to be cops and shit. It would be like a fun thing we would do when we were kids and it had one of those lights on the side. You know, it had like the little hand light out of the window. Oh yeah. Yeah. So you're supposed to take some of that shit. I know you're not diplomat. I was diplomat. You got to take the badges off of some of the shit. I know you can't have like police on the side. And then I also don't think

Starting point is 00:04:31 you can have the blue lights. And in my state, I think you couldn't, you couldn't have those big search lights either because they were afraid you were going to turn them on and blind other people as they were driving on the street. Just knew that people would just be assholes. Yeah. If they did, I had a buddy of mine bought an old Massachusetts state trooper bike and it still had the blue lights on it. It was funny. He just thought it was the lenses. So he changed out the lenses and he didn't realize that the bulbs were also blue. So we had to take it apart. I think he actually left them on for a motorcycle. Yeah. Yeah, I never had a motorcycle, man. What we have, we had some four wheelers. We had things that we just kind of people put

Starting point is 00:05:06 together. We had a guy, when I was in Tucson, they had a guy had a school bus. He cut the top off of it and would drive it around a full like convertible. Was it the full size one? Oh, yeah. Now, did it have an option, especially in Arizona where you could maybe, you know, you ever see the jeeps, they have like those tarp things you can put on the top. So the doors are off and all that. So you get the wind in your face, but you don't roast. I would think you'd want that in Arizona. Sometimes he would put like a tarp over that night and stuff. I think during like maybe, I guess, the spring or something. But I think otherwise it was just one option, open, you know? So it is cruising. At any point, can I promote that I have a special out here?

Starting point is 00:05:44 Yeah. I don't know where we're going with this. I have a special out on that streaming now on Netflix called Paper Tiger, man. Paper Tiger, that's right. Dude, it was beautiful. Was it awesome to shoot at the, what's the name of the place? Royal Albert Hall, yeah. Royal Albert Hall. No, it was amazing. Yeah. Because if, you know, even if I didn't know, you know, some of the people that had played that the second you walked in there, you would know that some heavy hitters had been there. So it was pretty intimidating. The first time I did one show a year, like about nine months before I did that one, that was like, yeah, let's shoot one here. And then I, the first show that I did that was really in my head a lot where I was just like,

Starting point is 00:06:24 So you went to kind of not, not run the hour where you went to just get a feel for the venue first. I just wanted to do it. Oh, you was doing it. And then when I did it, then the idea came about maybe do a special here. And then I talked to Mike Binder about it. Yeah, no binder. Yeah. Yeah. And he, you know, we smoke cigars. So he's just like, he kind of did it, I think, because he wanted to smoke a cigar with me in London, which is as funny as that is. And that's how we ended up going over there. But I've since watched all these videos that I'm kind of glad I didn't know all these extra, I just knew Zeppelin was there. That was my big thing that people are the Beatles played there. I even saw I think George Michael, they were doing a thing

Starting point is 00:06:57 for AIDS or something. No, for Linda McCartney. Yeah. She lost her arm, right? No, she died. Yeah. She died. Yeah. She died. She lost it all. She lost it all. Yeah. So they were doing a thing and then he came out and sang like a Beatles song and then sang one of his songs and just like fucking crushed it. And I was just like, I'm glad I didn't watch that before because I mean, that kind of made you nervous. Yeah. It looked like it makes you feel like, all right, okay, he's doing that. And Zeppelin's doing that. And then I'm going to come in here with a bunch of dick and shit jokes. Yeah. And why I took a tour of the place years and years and years ago when I saw like the London Philharmonic was there. Oh, yeah. So playing all classical music. So yeah, I definitely

Starting point is 00:07:38 felt crass being there the first time. But then the second time, the pressure of the special, I got to have a good set. You can kind of fuck all that history. Let me just go out and make sure I have a good time here. So fortunately, it worked out. And I think binder the way you shot it put it over the top. Yeah. Yeah. Some of the shots from the rear and stuff where you can just see it looks like you're performing like almost an infinite amount of people at some point. Yeah. It's not as big as you would think, but it's very it's it's big, but it's like really intimate. It's like the sound is perfect. It's yeah, man. It's it's something else. I'll say that. Susan Boyle has been there. Remember her? Who else? I bet they've had it seem like it has that place been around

Starting point is 00:08:16 for a couple hundred years. Since the mid 1800s. Oh, Jesus. Yeah, some guy. It was probably Napoleon. No, Prince Albert. Dude, I love how you just fucking reaching for shit here. It's a couple thousand years. It's been around Napoleon. That's an old guy. Well, Prince Albert, I believe Prince Albert Winston Churchill. I'm sure he did something there. He probably smoked a stick there and talked about talk shit about the Germans. Yeah, no, a lot of people, a lot of people played there. So it looked historic. That's what it looked like. Yes. Yes. So I had to make sure when we shot it that we just didn't do the, you know, the wham bam way that they shoot so many specials, which I have avoided my whole career because I've always tried to work with people that

Starting point is 00:09:01 really, you know, wanted to make something great, right? Not just, you know, do the typical shots. I worked with Jake Harrison, my previous three, you told me about him. He's great. Yeah. Yeah. And he's like a prior fan and that that shot that he does, that single shot that you see that he does in the my previous three specials from the crowd is a nod to Richard Pryor live on the sunset strip. It's literally a shot just for directors. And if any sort of like prior fanatics would know would catch it. Yeah. So I've always done that because I haven't liked how specials were shot for a long, long time, almost my whole career, like they would just, you know, and I look similar. They look bad. They look, there's nothing that captures the who the comic is at all. A lot of

Starting point is 00:09:51 times the audio on the audience is so bad. It's like, why even have it? Oh, the worst is when they put a whole bunch of them, when they would be doing a whole bunch of them. Yeah. And a group. And they just would crank out 10 of them. And then they would be taking crowd shots from somebody else's set. It was just so gross. The whole thing was gross and just not, it was just all for cat for money. The whole thing was, oh, these are cheap to do. Get the comedian out there. He's already written the, you don't have to pay any writers. He's already written it. He's the performer. Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, you know, and then we'll take advantage of you. Well, I mean, I would, it's, they apply a very efficient model to it. That's how, that's how they look at it.

Starting point is 00:10:34 They're not, yeah. They're not thinking about how we think of it. No. And you don't think, I didn't think of it at the first special I did. I was, I didn't know. I didn't know now. It's like, okay, I know I want directors that I know care about me, that want to make something great. And I want to have more control over it. And I know I can put an audience in myself. I'm not I don't have to spend half the budget paying some lady to get, you know, to guarantee a seating. I got burned a couple times on that. I got burned a couple times. Yeah. Like they somehow figure out what your budget is. Yeah. You could have $8 or $80 million, and their budget's going to come in like two cents below. We can shoot this special for $7.99. And then they find out you have it,

Starting point is 00:11:10 you know, not like you get $8 million, but say you had $8 million to be like, yeah, we did one. What he wants, it's going to be $7.9999, fucking million dollars. And it's just like, yeah, they put all the gypsons in the crowd. It's weird. It's gross. The way that it was, I stand up as such a weird thing where it's totally respected and completely disrespected. It has this thing that where it's just like, when you meet people who aren't comedians, so many people say, Oh my God, I can't believe you got the balls to do that. I would never do that. But whenever they show a comedian, it's always the worst. Like, Hey, this guy knows what I'm talking about. Like a lampshade on the head. And we're just this

Starting point is 00:11:46 loud obnoxious on offstage. Just Oh my God, get this guy the fuck away from me is kind of how they do, which I know because you're also playing for laughs. But I don't know. I don't know. So I just, you know, I've always tried to work with people that love it and want to try and make something great. Because you know, if you get somebody that knows what they're doing, they can they can actually help the performance. Or it can go the other way, they can take something great, and make it not so good. That's why I think acting is so difficult, because you're just so at the mercy of so many things, right? Like, you're not going to edit it, you can't do the pacing, what kind of music, when are they going to cut out of this, especially like a comedy and shit?

Starting point is 00:12:26 It's just like, it's real scary. I feel like that's one of the reasons why I think acting is real scary to me, because I really kind of, I guess I kind of treasure the things that I do do comedically. And so I just don't want to leave him at the at the whims of some other, you know, some guy who's been up for four days. Did you just say you treasure what you do? Like, literally, you're asked, you're worried that some big Hollywood director, you can't take your comedic skills and say what the fuck somebody else wrote. You treasure your acts so much. Is that what you're trying to tell me? The way that I present it, man, the way that I present it, if I give somebody something, if I do something funny, it's like, yeah, I'm going to leave it up to some fucktard

Starting point is 00:13:01 that I feel like doesn't know how to best. This dude is going to be such a nightmare when he makes it. I treasure these jokes. How dare you this, this, what do they call it? This is, this is vulgar. This edit is vulgar. That is how it'd be too. Yeah. But I think I have like a thing. Yeah, it's like, I don't like, I have a tough time working. I just think I have a tough time working with other people sometimes, you know, which is one of the reasons why I got into comedy anyway. You know, I would say get over that. Yeah. Get over yourself and get over that because there's a lot of great people in this business and you're going to miss out. And I don't know. You know what? You'll say your loved ones will save money on the funeral cost because no one's

Starting point is 00:13:45 going to go. So there's not going to be too many fucking snacks they got to put together. So I guess, yeah, I don't know. I have such a tough time, I think, working with other people, man, which is one of the reasons why I just do stand up. You know, it's like, that's the thing that I focus on mostly and podcasting because you get to do it yourself, you know. Yeah. I would, is that me? Sorry. I would try to get over whatever social thing that that is. Yeah. Yeah. Dude, if you just buy yourself all the time, you're slowly going to go crazy. Oh, you start to go crazy. Yeah. Well, everybody's got a little bit of, you know, they got a little bit of overgrowth on that root or on that wallet, you know. And so

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Starting point is 00:15:19 nicking your sack when you tidy up that bag. It's time to get clean with the perfect package, 2.0 from manscaped. You can get 20% off and free shipping with the code Theo, T H E O at manscaped.com. They give you a whole kit to set up the balls, the wiping or everything, you get that hitter. Your balls will thank you get 20% off and free shipping with that code Theo at manscaped.com. That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com. Use the code Theo and tidy up your regions. Um, we had a question that came in about a special, didn't we Nick? About the special, no. But you want to go to a video question? Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, let's do it.

Starting point is 00:16:10 Gang gang. What's up Theo? What's up player? I got a question for Mr. Burt. Is this live? I know I said in another interview that he's close to a year sober. I was wondering if you had any tips for recovering addicts. This question is coming all the way from Newfoundland, Canada. I'm recently 38 days clean. Dang hitter. Just out of the facility. Hook a brother up, let me know. Hook a brother up, Bill. You're a boy right there. Uh, well, I'm not an addict. Right. I'm an idiot. Right.

Starting point is 00:16:44 So, I've discovered with myself that if it's in the house, I'm going to consume it. Right. I've said this in a number of places. And that means sugar or liquor, whatever. Yeah, if there's a package of cookies, I'm going to eat it. And I'm not just going to take two. Yeah. And do that moderate. I'm going to eat the whole fucking sleeve. I did that with vanilla creams. Yeah. Yeah. M&Ms, ice cream or booze, cigars. So, I can't have, if I don't have that shit in the

Starting point is 00:17:09 house, I'm fine because the cravings usually come at night. And then at night, you're just like, I ain't getting in the fucking car to go down and get whatever the hell I want. So, that's how it works for me. So, this guy, I mean, this guy just went to a facility 38. I mean, that guy's like, you know, he's like, I'm playing touch football. This guy's in the pros. Yeah. So, I'm not going to try to give him advice. I am happy that that's what he's doing. But, uh... Do you feel different after a year or something? Like, do you notice anything different of not drinking for a year or like? Yeah, my cigar smoking went off the fucking rails.

Starting point is 00:17:40 Yeah. Because then it just becomes like, this is, there's a thing that I'm trying to work past right now that I've noticed that through all of the shit that I've done through just food, booze, and, uh, you know, cigars is every couple of days, you know, or maybe even like once a day, even just like through food. Like, I want some sort of ramping up some sort of buzz. You want an escalation? Yeah, you want that. Right. And you can do that through just going to McDonald's. People who are like obese and shit like that. That's their fucking thing.

Starting point is 00:18:15 Yeah. You could do through anything. I mean, dude, there's no, I'll be honest with you. This is me relating to fat people. There's nothing better than giving in to McDonald's. Oh my God. It's the worst afterwards, but when you're in the fucking drive through and you're pulling up, like I am getting every fucking thing that I want here and it's still going to be under 10 bucks. And it's just going to greasy slide. I mean, when they give you that fucking book and you get the fresh French fries, not the ones that were laying there. I mean, it's just like, and the Latinos make the best fries too. If you notice whoever's in the window whenever you're

Starting point is 00:18:46 driving by, dude, if it's a Latino in there, fries are better 85% of the time. Really? And that's something I noticed. But I will say this. Sometimes I talk to the person in the window to make myself feel a little bit better about the purchase. Do you ever do that? Like to kind of take the edge off of the fact that I know I have all shame. And the worst part is when I'm driving home is the grease and salt mixture on my steering wheel. Oh yeah. From the front. I see this like, oh God. Yeah. The next day you wake up with the distended belly. No, it kind of doesn't at first. And you think you got away with it. And then somewhere in the afternoon, it just creeps in.

Starting point is 00:19:17 Oh, I don't have that yet. Yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, you don't. Well, that's good. That's good. I've had it. Something to look forward to. But no, I think there's, yeah, there's definitely something that's like a thing at like, there's a certain thing in the evening that happens to me where it's like, I need to do something. It could be booze. It could be cigarettes. Like when I quit drinking, I had cigarettes. I started smoking cigarettes. But it's always something, pornography, dove chocolates, dark chocolates. Yeah, you got to find like, you know what fascinates me is like basically the first 16 or 17 years of my life. When I never, I mean, I took a couple of sips of my, you know, stole a beer here for there for my dad, but I never really went out and tried to

Starting point is 00:19:53 get drunk and tell us like 16 or 17. But I went for like a decade and a half. Like I was straight edge. You know what I mean? And I, and, but the thing was, Oh, you told kids you were straight edge. You're like, I don't know. No, no, no, just thought of being a kid. It's not like your first 10 years of your life. You're like, fuck, playground, man, I need a drink. It's just not where your world is at. And the thing was it's Pandora's box. Then once you catch a buzz, then it's just like, Oh man, this is this other kind of living. And it's, it's, you know, I, yeah, I didn't understand that was kind of using that as like a, I'm not saying I'm never going to fucking drink again. But I had, I had to like, I kind of just had to like step back and just be

Starting point is 00:20:33 like, all right, because you know, the reality is I got a kid. So I just didn't want to be that I'm like drunk when your kids around my fucking Lou Grant with a bottle of whiskey in the memory that a Mary Tyler Moore show. She'd have a rough day and she'd come in and I remember the whole show. I can explain it to you. Yeah. If I could explain it to you, I don't know what that is. All right. No, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And the second I started to explain, like, I don't know the whole show. All right. I get it. I get it. It's that comic ADD. Like, I don't even fuck. I'm not into it. I don't want to hear it. I got it. Your show. Go ahead. Continue. I remember. All right. Let's talk about old shows then. We don't have to. I just was,

Starting point is 00:21:08 it was a funny how you fucking you bailed twice on that. Patty Duke. What about that? You made me feel like an asshole. Like that was the 15th time I fucking brought it up. Sorry. No Mary Tyler Moore. One of the great ensemble fucking cast of all time. I do know she does died recently. Yeah. I mean, I was going to bring up a more positive story about the show. But yeah, it's the second time I bring up fucking George Michael was in an AIDS event. Some sort of gay thing. Well, I didn't say gay, bro. Why do you say AIDS? Because he had AIDS, man. No, he didn't. Did he? Jesus Christ. No, he didn't. Well, people have been saying he did. I think you are confusing it with gay. No, I'm not. I didn't know he was gay. I knew that apparently

Starting point is 00:21:53 got AIDS in a park. That's what I heard. And now he blew a guy in a porta party and got busted for lewd activity. And then, you know, he, you know, had a little fucking, you know, he liked getting a little buzz at the end of the fucking day and maybe it got away from him. I think that's what happened. But like what I would like to focus on was how amazing his voice was and how talented he was. And I played and performed and stood in the same spot that this guy did. That's what the point was. Not what he died of. Yeah. Oh, wait a minute. And what happened in your life? Who'd you lose early on? You're really into death. Well, no, I mean, I remember listening. You don't want to get to know Mary Tyler or more because you're afraid she's going to leave you too.

Starting point is 00:22:33 I remember listening to George Michael on the school bus when I would go to school and I felt like, and I would always sit by myself. Did you feel like you were going to catch AIDS? No. Doing that some sort of airborne HIV through the fucking radio? I mean, bro, I was holding it up to my ear, you know. I couldn't feel my head. And a ruthless school bus. One of the, the, the windborne radio aids was going to get me. Oh man. Do you think it's interesting that they can like, uh, they can stop it, but they can't cure it. And all those comics that have done bits about how basically the, the money is in the treatment, not in the cure. Yeah. And they kind of learned

Starting point is 00:23:12 that with polio because it seems like they cured it, but they're not going to 100% cure it because they want you to keep coming back for the drugs and get people on. Yeah. Which you know, probably fuck with your liver. Well, it seemed like that with everything. I mean, it's like how they, how some things are continued to be allowed to like, you know, like even with all like, with automobiles, like they can, sure they have something that would be, you know, for years where it would just be so much less gas, but they just give you like one little piece every five years. It's the worst. It's the worst. It's so fucking stupid. It's so short sight. All of that shit that has happened is the number one fucking thing, the number one thing as we're sitting there

Starting point is 00:23:49 focusing on like these stupid like minutiae words, pronouns, bathrooms. Yeah. It's like, guys, none of this is going to fucking exist. This is going to be like a Mad Max movie if, you know, you know, and just watching these politicians, their hands are fucking bound. They get paid so such little money. They're so they're so it is and they're bought and paid for it's gross. I think these should have like, I'm trying to have like empathy for politicians as opposed to just all the screaming and yelling and then just, oh, you know, anyway, or the red ties, the one who are the blue type people, they fucked it all up, you know. Well, you got, you got, I think, I think there has to be something like,

Starting point is 00:24:30 I guess, individual citizens. I think the best way if you want to try to get something going is try to start something with your friends. Because if you try to go through all of that shit in DC, like they always said, if you become president, if you're lucky, you get one thing that you wanted to get done. If you're lucky, you just get like that one thing. So I don't know. It's too depressing to watch. I don't understand news junkies. Why, why you would fucking do that to yourself and the fucking stories that they show, my God, it's just like, I can't, I don't want to fucking see this. It's all sad stuff. Here's sad stuff that you can't do anything about. And now you know it. Yeah. Enjoy yourself. Try not to drink tonight.

Starting point is 00:25:11 Yeah. Or go to McDonald's. Don't go to McDonald's. Yeah. But do you feel like there was a time though, when, what makes you wonder is, was there a time when the news was ever credible, do you feel like? It was more credible when they used to have, what was it, like rules of sevens back in the day where like one, no, no one person could own like seven, a combination of seven newspapers, radio stations, and TV and like the same market. Because the worry was like, well, if they're all working for the same guy, then what he thinks is true.

Starting point is 00:25:44 Is going to be what the people think. Is what they're going to think. And then they just kept deregulating and deregulating and deregulating until now it's just infinite. So now you just have like two towers of their version of what's going on here, which is Fox News and CNN and both of them are ridiculously biased. Yeah. Oh, it's, it's not even, it's not even anything anymore. Yeah. Well, back in the day, like the, like the way they did it was the news guy, you weren't supposed, like I got, I got sports announcer, you're not supposed to hear them. You can't,

Starting point is 00:26:18 you're not supposed to know who he's for. Yeah. Of course, every sports fan thinks they can tell, especially when their team is losing. This guy fucking hates us. So they would just deliver the news as it was and like, You had a fax, it seemed like. Yeah. And there was a lot more of, of journalists breaking shit and, and bringing down like people who are really doing some bad shit, where now that's kind of all gone away where everybody's sucking the corporate cock. So I think that that's why now they're going after

Starting point is 00:26:48 like comedians and shit. And I've always joked that if we bought ad time on Fox News and CNN, all of this shit would go away. They would leave us alone. Yeah. Well, I mean, at least it, at least it would go away there. I'm not saying we'd go away on social media, but. Were you surprised that you're special, that did you get a lot of notes on your special? From people. I mean, you're always going to get some. Yeah. But my, I was more surprised that people tried to lump it in with the specials that they

Starting point is 00:27:15 did where it was just like, I mean, if you look at it musically, I mean, a country album is not a rock album. It's not a rap album. So it's like, it's all like different. And my special, you know, I did some topical shit, but most of what it was about was me being and trying not to be an angry asshole and pass this onto my kid and be a better husband and just realizing how difficult I am to live with. That's what the main thing was about. But most of the people that asked me the questions went for the same like hot topic fucking shit. Right. Like me too stuff. Yeah. I'm trying to say that, which was, you know, that whole thing was fucking because

Starting point is 00:27:51 Ellie would say, you know, it was pretty harsh and blah, blah, blah. It's like, oh, what the part where I said it happened to me and no one would give a shit because I was a guy. Like they didn't even fucking, you know, they didn't even ask questions about that. It was all just like, they just want to create, it's just all about creating more stuff now. Well, no, it, yeah, no, it's, it, they're hacks. And what's funny is, is if I told, who the fuck did I do? I think I just said this on Rogan. Like if I, if I said the same 10 jokes you said, and you said the same 10 jokes, we looked at as the worst fucking comics out just hacks. Okay. But if you're a journalist for some reason, they can all ask the exact same five to 10

Starting point is 00:28:26 questions. And you just want to be, don't you have any pride in what you do? Don't you want the person that you're interviewing in to be like, wow, man, I know what he ever asked me. That's a great, for them to enjoy it as opposed to rolling their eyes like, fuck this again. And just, I had a guy started an interview when he goes, he goes, don't be alarmed by these questions. I actually liked your special. And then it was just one fucking fuck him. I mean, not, I don't, I don't, I'd never take it to fuck him. It was just like, it was just disappointing. It was just like, oh, God, this again, well, it's just no intake. It's just like, there's no individuality. It's, um, well, I think what it is, is because there's so much shit to look at out there that you have to

Starting point is 00:29:09 go with controversy just to get people to stop. So that you get clicks on your website, and then there's like advertising hits. And the dangerous thing about that is when that's where you're staring the ship, you're going to go at somebody who didn't do anything, right? You know what I mean? And eventually you could get them caught up under the fucking farming equipment, which has happened to a number of comedians who got caught up in the fucking wake of that Weinstein shit. And, you know, just to watch all of these so called social justice warriors to sort of just collectively turn a blind eye to that, because they're so worried about like losing this hold that they have. And it's just like, but they're losing the hold. Do you feel, I mean, that hold

Starting point is 00:29:49 I feel like is, it's like, I feel like so many more people go out to see comedians that have podcasts. I think, I think, I think that it's just adjusting to where it needed to go. It probably had to go past. It had to go into like a witch hunt phase. And it's going to adjust to now that if somebody does something like that, that someone can say something, and then it's fine. It is far and it's not fine that the person did it, but they'll be able to, oh, this is what this is. We know what this is. Let's investigate this. Let's find out what's going on, blah, blah, blah, blah. They'll be like, it's, I feel like it's, it's going to a rational place where it was totally irrational before. Agreed. And then it blew past rational and went all the way irrational the other

Starting point is 00:30:34 side and it's Salem. Yeah, which is how, you know, and then it's yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's gonna end up in a comfortable spot. Yeah. I mean, there's just no empathy. It's a lot of times that what gets me is like social justice, like that, like this whole like judgment. There's the same people that will say like, we need people to have space to learn and space to be themselves and figure out who they are. But then there's no empathy for anyone when it comes to like a word or a statement or something from a decade ago. No, or, or yeah, when you go back and somebody's past, it's like, you're not trying to find out who they are. You're going back to find the mistake they made. And then that mistake is who they are. It's like, everything else that you did, you could literally

Starting point is 00:31:12 be a fucking Eagle Scout, you know, playing free shows at an old folks home and helping out veterans and all of this shit. But one fucking time you did X, Y and Z. That's who you are. And, um, yeah, you know, I would, I just wish that they would like, you know, if somebody does that, hey, we're going back 15 years, I think we should go back 15 years in this person's life. It's like, okay, as long as we're cool with doing it to you too. And then, yeah, and then we'll find them. There's no fucking way you can't go back in anybody's life. Dude, you can't go back 15 months in my life and not find somebody that doesn't fucking like me, or I said something that I shouldn't have fucking said. It's just like, it's inherent. Oh, I've seen a meme today that's fucking, but

Starting point is 00:31:52 everybody does. There's these fucking assholes driving around like these perfect people. It's like, no, you just don't have a podcast. Yeah. You know, but this is the funny thing is all these fucking people are getting like this home security and all this shit where you can see like the fucking thief and all that. They're going to be recording themselves and they're going to be saying shit in their fucking houses and all these regular people you're going to find are just like anybody else in the public eye that you, you make jokes. You have the way that you joke with your friends. Right. It's normal. Yeah. You know, it's a joke. They don't know it's a joke, but then they hear your private conversation. They try to take out, say, first of all, this is a private conversation

Starting point is 00:32:28 you shouldn't have been listening to. Yeah, there's no context. That's the problem with all of social media and everything. That's a problem even with like, is like you can see something even on Facebook or anywhere and you see something and you just see that clip, that bit and you're like, it gets a reaction, but you don't see the timeline. So you don't have any context of where it plays. Yeah. And so then people constantly react. We got a kid laying in his bed right here who sent this video when he had a question. It's related to all this. All right. What up Theo? Love the podcast. What up Bill? Been a long time fan. I'm sending this video directly from my bed with an open and a question. What do you guys think of that comedian, Shane Gillis, that was just like, go from SNL

Starting point is 00:33:05 or really just what do you think of the situation in general? Thanks, gang gang. And you guys commented on this on David Spade last night. Was that last night? Yesterday? Yeah. No, I just, I think I just answered it. I don't think it's fair. I wouldn't want to be judged by one thing that I did. Yeah. You know, 10, 15 years ago. So that's personally something I wouldn't do. I would never do that to somebody. Right. And I think it says a lot about you as a person that you went out and did that to him is, I mean, I don't think, you know, I mean, especially like as you're starting out as a comic or you're like, you're riffing and stuff. It's just like, dude, I got a bit in my act right now that like the first time I told it to women screamed at me and walked

Starting point is 00:33:49 out and fucking then wait, wait, wait, waited to tell me, me go fuck myself and all that. And I got into them and they, you know, and then I honed it and I honed it and I honed the other night. Same fucking joke. This woman came up to me and says, Oh my God, I feel like you were talking about my life. And it's just like, you know, so, so what am I though? Which guy am I? Am I that fucking guy that made the two women get fucking mad? And then I told them to go fuck themselves and they yelled at me, you know what I mean? Are they better than I am? You know what I mean? That I just don't, I don't get how that works. Well, yeah, I just don't see how there's no long term value in it. It just ends up with a witch hunt where we all cancel everybody.

Starting point is 00:34:28 And I also think SNL was getting shit for never having an Asian cast member. So then he said something about Asians and then they had to look past their own bullshit. They're bullshit. It's like, if he gets canceled, why doesn't SNL get canceled? It took him 40 fucking years to finally cast somebody Asian. That's okay. But this guy says forever. And this guy says one fucking drops us. Yeah, that's it. And then he's done. And then that's who he is forever. Yeah. And this thing, I don't know the guy. So I don't know who he is, but I'm not going to just watch fucking a second clip of somebody on a podcast to be like, okay, I know who that guy is and whether or not he should. And then forget about the fact that like, like, like, like how the punishment

Starting point is 00:35:14 works. Like, I think how the punishment works as far as being a stand up comedian is if you sell tickets and you're actually going to make some money, you should never do stand up again. Yeah. But if you're not going to sell tickets, it's okay for you to start a career as a comedian or continue flailing as a comedian. It doesn't even make fucking sense. Yeah. None of it, none of it does. But like I said, I think it's, it's, it's adjusting back, but it's going to take some balls on corporation sides to not give into this shit. Right. And why? Because I can tell you this, because God forbid one fucking nickel rolls out the fucking door for an hour. God for fucking bid, they don't give a shit. It's all about their brand and keeping this fucking thing going. And

Starting point is 00:36:01 we're not, I mean, I get it to one level, not going to let one person fucking destroy a 40 year march. Right. I get that. But I just think that how quickly they just cut and run. But just to stand up and say, Hey, look, we understand, we're a company that understands that people are people and we all make mistakes. And we all do things maybe out of context from 15 years ago in our life. And we're an understanding company. I think half of the world would support that. But the thing that they then let this guy go because of that is now you're validating that there's one bad thing is who this person is. Right. And now he has to fucking carry that. Like that's going to be like his thing. And it's just like, it's, it's, uh, that'd be so tough. It's horrifically not fair.

Starting point is 00:36:41 It's not that's not fair to the fucking kid that did that to him. Whoever started that, it wouldn't be fair to do it to that person. Because there's no fucking way you can't go back and do this to someone. And imagine like, what if that kid's supposed to be as Shane Gills supposed to be one of the best comedians ever? What if he, you know, that's just what is his destiny, you know, or he's supposed to do something novel and do his craft. You also grow the more you travel. If you have your fucking eyes and your ears open. Oh yeah. It's the best thing about traveling because then you have friends, you have frames of references and then shit that people say is funny. Then you go back to your hometown and the

Starting point is 00:37:13 shit that people were saying that was making sense. Now you have can step back and be like, oh, that's, that's, that's not right. Or that's not cool to say that. Oh, I remember first time I went to Africa, man, I was like, holy shit. I had no idea that like other countries, I mean, I knew they were like real, you know, from books and from like the globe, but I didn't know they were real from till I went there and put my feet on them. But I know, I know what you mean. It didn't register. You know what was great was, was what is so fucking mind blowing is when you go to Asia and you go there and because they don't pay attention to it other than this fucking horseshit where we're trying to start wars with people, you go there and it's like, it's literally

Starting point is 00:37:52 like you went to another planet. Yeah, you show up and it's like they have their own pop stars, their own airlines, their, their own, it's, it's exactly like here completely different. And it's just like, oh, this is their CVS. This is their something. And it's just, it was the fucking coolest thing. And you know, there's different like cars like that they just don't put out here in the U.S. Yeah, like they'll they'll have like like a couple like Pujo's like a big thing. Like I kind of saw when I was over there, but like that was sort of the thrill of going over there was watching like, all right, and like you get like, who's their guns and roses? Like who makes these fucking people go crazy? And like their ACDC and all that. So I really got into the music

Starting point is 00:38:39 when I was over there. I couldn't understand what they were saying. But like, but the energy was just like laughing, watching it. And then you'd see the way the person was dressed and how the crowd was reacting. Is it China? Where was I? I think this was Singapore, Hong Kong, Mumbai. It just, but the whole thing just traveling through all of it. Right. Oh, Mumbai is beautiful. Yeah. And Singapore Airlines where they still have like the hot chick fucking stewardesses, which for some reason that became like discontinued. Yeah, like this asshole thing. It's the greatest thing ever. Oh, and they all, if you watch them in the airport, they'll move like a school of fish almost. They're like, well, they're all in a

Starting point is 00:39:18 group and formation. They're all in like, it's like a young, beautiful military. I know. And you're just sitting there like, it makes you happy to be on the airplane. God forbid. Yeah. God forbid. And then people just sit there. Oh, I guess she has to be beautiful. Yes. I mean, that can that's fucking part of nature. Yeah. It's Nate. The people are trying to act like that isn't a fucking thing. Anyway, so. Oh, nature is a thing. But here's the thing before I fucking trap before, you know, it did 20 years on the road and then fucking go there. Like shit to me that was like factually acceptable, joke acceptable and all of that was was just, you know, it adjusts. Yeah, it adjusts, man. So I didn't realize how many people

Starting point is 00:39:59 like I grew up in a small town, like we just had, you know, it was like probably maybe 70% white, 30% black and it was pretty poor town. And I remember going to Africa was the first country I ever went to. And I was like, holy. It's a continent. It's not a country. Yeah. And I remember thinking, holy shit, dude, all these people are going to be in heaven. That's what I never realized. And I was like, fuck, because I always pictured heaven, like just the people from my town were going to be there. And then I remember going to this place and being like, holy shit, man, what are we going to do now in heaven? It's going to be packed. That was my first thought. Do you believe in heaven? Yeah. And I thought, well, when we died, dude, it's going

Starting point is 00:40:33 to be packed. And so then suddenly I had all this anxiety, like, you know, like, um, I guess not anxiety, but just like, you know, like, fuck, man, I got to rethink, you know, what you're after life. Yeah. And so I was like, um, yeah. Is there a room for Africans in your afterlife? And there's a lot of room for them. You got to see how many are coming or you got to see how many are coming. But then I went to India one time and I saw like some kids there smiling and playing. And dude, to this day, I've never seen as much joy come out of like a group of kids than for some reason, just like, I had a great time in India. They were like, friendliest people. Well, they were ballbreakers. I was really amazed at the sense of humor

Starting point is 00:41:17 that was over there because that's not something you hear about when we, when we talk about India, we talk about the food, we talk about the religion, caste system, the sacred cow, all this hacky shit, the style of dress, but they never talked about the people. And I got there and they were really, really funny, like, uh, just ballbreakers, like the comics like broke balls. It was really, really funny. And it was, uh, yeah, that was a great time. It was just a little scary to go to as far as like, when I got like, I had to get a work permit to go there. And then when I went there, I had to get them to sign a piece of paper. So it was okay for me to leave. And I didn't like that at all. Like almost like checking in for school or something like

Starting point is 00:41:59 it. No, I had to go to like this fucking embassy thing and they wouldn't let the promoter come in there. And I was sitting there with some chick from Afghanistan. We're both looking each other like, are they going to let us out of here? One of us. And there was like, um, you know, when they do this thing where they don't, when you ask them a question, they don't nod, yes or shake, no, they kind of do like, Oh yeah, they do that. They do this. They do this shit. Cause I was like, all right, so I got this piece of paper, I'm doing my show tonight, and then I'm going to the airport and I'll be able to get out if I show them this. And she was just like, Oh yeah, doing this. It's like, lady, I'm on the other side of the fucking globe. Yeah. What do you guys own me now? What's

Starting point is 00:42:36 going on here? Am I in when they win that fucking with that guy? Tape the drugs to him? What the fuck was that movie? I don't know what the fuck it was. Women in a, no, this is before you will. This is when you were real young. Midnight Express. Oh yeah. You guys don't know. With Tom Hanks? Just file that on to Mary Tyler Moore. Yeah. Oh, that's Polar Express is what I'm thinking. Yeah, Polar Express. Anyway, it was, yeah, that was the only part of the trip that I didn't like. And it was, I found out that it's harder for people who lived on the West Coast to get out of there than on the East Coast, which means some Senator said something or did something and fucked with them. So this is their political fuck you back. Oh, wow. Yeah, because there was

Starting point is 00:43:13 some, I'm not good with the name, some beautiful pop star American, like one of those Norah Jones, you know, piano playing, gorgeous women, she went there and she couldn't get out. He's what the promoter told me. So I was thinking like, all right, if they don't let somebody who looks like that get out, there's no fucking way I'm getting out. Yeah. So what was good was I had a red-eye flight and I showed up and I handed the paper and the guy was fucking doing this shit and I just guerrillaed my way through that middle man. Yeah. I was just like, dude, it's the paper. I have to go. I got to go. And he just was like, they just fucking stamped it. And then I felt like when that stamp hits, I don't, I like when I landed another airport and

Starting point is 00:43:51 get on a different fucking plane, we were connected in Dubai. And I was just like, as we were on the tarmac, I felt like I was in that Ben Affleck movie that Argo, Argo, yeah, some of the jeeps were going to come along the side. So once we took off, I was kind of okay. And then when we landed in Dubai, and we switched over to Air Emirates, which I swear to God is one of the most insane fucking planes I've seen pictures online. And I used my sky miles. So we were like sitting up top first class. So I got in there and we went to go to the, I went to go to the bathroom and I went in the back to, there was a fucking bar that you could stand up while the plane was going was like a semi circle had enough for

Starting point is 00:44:31 like six people to stand around. So I came back, I said to my wife, I go, Nia, come on back here. She goes, for what? I go, come here, I got to show you this. And she's like, well, I can fucking look at the bathroom. So we come walking in and she saw the bar. I said, I'd like to buy you a drink. So then we sat down on like this bench that had like this giant seat. I think I can't tell, no, it must have been individuals, because what if you sat down with some stranger wouldn't want to do that. But I remembered it as one big seat belt, but we just sat there on a bench. And I was just laughing acting like I didn't know her and hitting on her in like a Ron Burgundy kind of way. So we were just cracking up. And it was just

Starting point is 00:45:05 this fucking awesome flight. That was such an amazing trip. Because we started in LA, went to Australia, did a whole run there, went to New Zealand, then Singapore, then Hong Kong, then Mumbai. Wow. And your wife would be the whole time. Yeah. Oh, before I had a kid. And then we connected in Dubai and then flew to New York. Then I did some gigs there. And then I flew. So I literally flew around the world on that. So that gets back to you where like, you know, Africa exists, but you don't know how it exists till you go there. And that was the thing where like flying, it's just like, yeah, it all it all exists. Or this is like, you know, Steven Spielberg, they paid him to come up with some sort of like scenery shit and give you the sensation that

Starting point is 00:45:46 you were flying. I don't know. Yeah, I don't think they can do all of that. I think a lot of people, you know, a lot of people get in all that the flat earth and this and that. But I don't think that that's really, I think there could be something going on. I don't think that that's it. That's too easy. As far as what? As far as them making people, like getting people to act and stuff in Africa and getting people, I don't think somebody's like making, you know, I thought you were talking about flat earth. Oh, I don't think somebody's blowing a whistle. You would literally have to have the world scientists in every single country, yeah, get joined on the same lie. They can't do it. But if they were able to do that, then all these wars are a lie that.

Starting point is 00:46:23 Yeah, they can't do that. You know, by the way, how much longer are they going to keep saying like Iran did something? They're just forcing us into that. Like, how the fuck are we going to pay for it? Every other day, there's an article. I don't know. I think they want us to go bank home. A fence fell down in Saudi Arabia. We think Iran did it. You know what that's reminding? Remember that great Bill Hicks bit where he was like, the pick up the gun? Oh, God, you got to hear that one. It's a, he's a reference to a Jack Palin's movie, which you don't know. And you probably don't give a shit. But I remember Barnaby. No, Barnaby Collins, remember him? Barnaby Jones. Yeah. Barnaby Jones. Now that's the one I didn't watch. Fuck. Oh, it was good, man.

Starting point is 00:47:00 Rock for Files, Maddox, Y5O, the original. Buddy Epson, remember him? Buddy Epson, no. I think he was played Barnaby Jones real hitter. Who's this right here? Oh, Antonio Brown. I would love to get Bill's thoughts on Antonio Brown. This is him farting in the face of the doctor. This is unbelievable. Oh, God. Farted fast to a hurt. It was in his face, though. I feel like that was a little overblown, but that was just one, one more in this series of incidences. What are your thoughts on him joining the Patriots? There you go, Bill. I think he's a great player. Paul Verzi had the best take on that, I thought, where he was wondering if some of the concussions, because he was a really quiet guy,

Starting point is 00:47:55 you know, the first half of his career. And then all of a sudden, I don't know where there's all like this erratic behavior. I'm not talking about the sexual assault. No, but there seems like a big ego stuff. Yeah. There's more of a, there's more of a, there's a lot of surrounding him. It's like Kanye. I don't, I don't, yeah, I don't know what's going on. Yeah, I don't know what's going on with that guy. But be honest with you, he was always on the Steelers, so I didn't really watch a lot of his interviews, but I just don't ever remember him having much of a problem while he was with Pittsburgh until the end. Then all of a sudden it just became like this, this thing. And then he goes to Oakland, he has a problem with the helmet or something like that. I don't

Starting point is 00:48:30 know. I don't know, dude, you know, I gotta be honest with you, I really don't think any of that's any of my business. I don't know why people post shit like that or he wants to post it. I don't give a shit. I just want to watch the game. And if this guy is a good guy and he's going to be great and he's going to win with the Patriots, I hope he keep them. And if he's, you know, a knucklehead or did that shit that they're suggesting he did, then, you know, you get rid of the guy. It's as simple as that. But like, I don't get into the fucking real housewife aspect of sports. I don't give a fuck. Right. About. Right. That's not who they, it's not where we're there for. Yeah, I want to watch the game. I don't want to sit in a fucking tailgate,

Starting point is 00:49:04 fucking parking lot, talking to some asshole about like somebody's what the fuck. Did you see what he did in the Dairy Queen? It's like, I don't give a fuck. But don't, isn't that for the local authorities? What are going to be some gum shoe here now? What do you think about the scandal? Yeah, it's like I'm a sports fan. I don't think I just fucking watch this shit and react to stuff that has nothing to do with my life and I enjoy it. I'll tell you what you got to get into. You got to get into motorcycle racing. You got to get into MotoGP. Really? That shit is the best fucking racing out there and these guys are out of their fucking minds in a great way. Do they do it here in the US too? They have one race a year. I'm going next year in Austin.

Starting point is 00:49:42 They have one Formula One race here. Sure, I'll go, man. The same place. I'm fucking going, man. It's like every race, it's like, it's down to like the final lap and they pass each other like three or four times and they're on a track. Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. My niece does dirt biking, but Oh, that was Andre De Vizioso, number four and Mark Marquez. That was in, what the fuck was that one? That last lap of that fucking race is insane. Wow. This is every last lap from 2019. Oh, it is. Yeah, it's insane. You don't get this in Formula One because once Lewis Hamilton gets in the front, you can take a fucking nap. It's over. Look at that shit. The Ducati's going, trying to get past them. How fast are they going? On the straightaway,

Starting point is 00:50:28 they go over 200 miles an hour and I think they're doing like 70 or something in the turns. It's fucking insane. Wow. That's balls. Yeah. Dude, you have a lot of hobbies, Bill. I get into shit, man. You have a lot of things you like. Dude, I need to get in these guys. Look at that guy with the white head. This is that fuck. Yeah, they are. That's Italian right there. You can't get that. You can't have that much love in your fucking arms if you're not Italian, bro. Yeah. Look at that. Look at those guys. Yeah, it's like they're on a fucking horse and they're like banging into each other. See, now he came on the brakes too late there, so he went too hot in the corner of the guy in the red, so he ducked down. I don't know a lot

Starting point is 00:51:06 about it, but I just watch as this shit has me come up off my couch. Wow. I wonder if they have radio in their helmet. You think they're probably listening to the boss, huh? No. Oh, look at that. You see him pop the wheel? That's out of frustration. Yeah. Fuck, he got me. Do you sometimes wish that you had another life to do something that was a little bit more violent like that? You think that's violent? That's a little, I mean, it's, I think the results, well, if this is the thing, no, violent or whatever that is, what is it called when you're like? Oh, more adrenaline rush. Yeah, yeah. No, I think I got this life right as far as like, I feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to do,

Starting point is 00:51:46 but like, I will say though, as far as racing goes, I've gotten into it where I've watched like old Formula One and old MotoGP and I gotta tell you, the second you press play, it's immediately scary. Like these guys could die and people died a lot, like ridiculously a lot back in the 50s and 60s and it was fucking insane. I read this book called, your listeners are into racing. I've read this book called The Limit and which is basically where these guys try to push the car basically the or the bike or whatever you're racing to the absolute limit of the performance before you fucking crash. Like that's where you have to be racing or somebody else is gonna take it to the limit and you have like a fucking test pilot, you got to figure out where that is.

Starting point is 00:52:26 So this book is about the first American who won the Formula One. Yeah, it was a fucking amazing book. So it and he was the first American not only to win the championship in Formula One but also to drive for Ferrari and we would just consider it inferior. Wow. Because we got all this space out here. So Formula One is just takes place in Europe? Well, I mean, it's I think it believed it started over there. I'm not quite sure over there, but it started over there. Brazil has it now. Well, they have a race there. Okay. But as far as the cars, it's mainly German, Italian, British got a car in there. I don't know. I'll just throw out the years, whatever. So this guy gets a job, the American

Starting point is 00:53:08 gets a job driving for Ferrari. So he gets his race car in the film, in the book, in the book. Yeah. So when he gets the car, he notices in the floorboards, I guess, which are just all metal, I think at that point, there was there was a hole in it. And it was basically the last guy who drove it got decapitated. And he bled out in the car and how they hose the water out, they just drilled a hole. So he's getting, dude, it's it's fucking intense. Damn. So these guys, dude, they would die, people in the crowd would die. They had one, this guy's fucking had an accident, right? They fucking hit each other. The hood came off, went into the crowd like a Chinese star and decapitated like six people. And this guy landed on like, you know, those concrete

Starting point is 00:53:55 barriers, just landed dead in front of the car on the all on fire. This video of it. But I forget, I forget where the crash was. They don't they don't show the decapitation, but you see this hood go hood fucking go into the crowd. Give me more to give me more to search. I will see Formula One. There was a German guy whose nickname was crash or something like that. He wanted a vintage Formula One German crash crowd death. There you go. That's how I look for shit. I saw a fucking Pirelli go into a front of a Popeyes chicken one time off of Highway 190 over there by us or Kenny Rogers roasters. Remember that? Oh, I mean, yeah, dude. I mean, that if that fucking hits you in the chest, I mean, just

Starting point is 00:54:48 all your your fucking your insides are liquefied wide open. That's it. That's the ultimate liver shot. Was it in 1961, the same years? Yeah, something like that. I would think of you around there. These fucking people were standing. It was on a straight away. So they thought they would say they were just they were just behind a rope. All right, here you go. Tragedy at Monza. What's this might this might be it? This is a Wolfgang Wolfgang. That's him. Yeah, there we go. Beautiful name. Here we go. Let's see if this is it seems to be the same footage over and over again. Am I crazy? Oh, they cut it out. They cut it out. He went into the crowd. You got to get okay. So Wolfgang Vaughn trips fatal crash. Yeah, see those people looking down, they're looking down at

Starting point is 00:55:35 dead people. Oh, there was a fence. There's a couple dead right there. Look, you can see the dead right through there. Oh, two hats. There's a hat. No head. Oh my God, look at that. Yep. And that was it. And you couldn't see anybody. Unbelievable. Who's talking about death now, Bill? And he and he died. That's the Mary Tyler Moore circuit. I know. Then there there is the one I don't know the name of the crash, but there's one with the fucking hood comes off and the guy lands right on top of the things. And he's just I mean, the balls, the balls that took to just racing the fucking 90s, just the sound of the cars, they just sound scary. Right there. I feel like in the back of the day, like if I looked around at my dad's car enough, I could find a little bit of gasoline, you know,

Starting point is 00:56:17 like it was always within arms reach or within like noses smell. I got an old four pickup. The gas tank is right behind the seat. And when I get low on gas, I hear it's sloshing around. Yeah. But what do you have an F-150? F-100. Oh, that's awesome, man. What year is it? 68. I drove it over here. Oh, you did? Yeah. Yeah. Dude, that's awesome. Yeah. I got a three on the column, but I mean, it's not something that I would want to get into an accident with. That's why, you know, because of fire. Well, yeah. And also like there was no crumple zones back then. It was just the engine went into your chest. It's not like a fucking, you know, modern day car where you can just hit shit and bounce. It means people still die, but I'm just saying like those. Yeah,

Starting point is 00:56:54 like you take. I'd rather die, I think. Yeah. You're in a, yeah. Like a fucking champion. Well, it depends. It depends. Yeah. Maybe like if it's a nice day, I would. If it's a fucking, if it's boiling out, I think I would. It depends on what my injuries are going to be. All right. Here we go. Let's get a lady. This is the first person wearing a shirt, I believe. That's our audience. All right. Hey, Bill. Hey, Theo. This is Marissa from Raleigh, North Carolina. And so Bill, I heard you say on, I believe it was Joe Rogan's podcast that you really like the film once upon a time in Hollywood and you've seen it several times. And I know Theo said that he walked out halfway through it. So I was just wondering maybe if you could talk about why you

Starting point is 00:57:38 loved it so much and Theo, why you walked out halfway through it. Anyway, gang, gang. Well, this is where Bill and I don't talk anymore after this. No, no. If you didn't like it, you didn't like it. I absolutely fucking loved it. I heard on your podcast you say you loved it. Oh my God. Dude, it's the best work. Leo's, I mean, Brad Pitt's great. First time you watched it, I was just like, I want to be like Brad Pitt's the guy I want to be. Yeah. And then the second time I watched it, I was like, Oh my God, I'm just like Leo's character. I have an emotional fucking mess. Well, I don't know what part you walked out in. I walked out after they went to that house for the first time after they met the old guy and they were in the yard and then

Starting point is 00:58:14 his car was had a flat tire. And at that point, I was like, I got to get out of here. I don't know what these guys are doing. You know, I felt like it was just kind of a waste of, I don't know, it just, I couldn't get into it and I didn't know what was going on. And it made me feel uncomfortable. I was like, I got to get out of here because I started to feel like everybody knows what's going on and I don't know what's going on, you know, I guess. Yeah, that's for you and the therapist buddy. Yeah. If that happens to you at the fucking movies, if you think the whole movie theater gives a shit about whether. No, I don't think they care. Were you making like audible noises that you didn't, huh? What? Oh, that's the only way they would know. Fuck, man.

Starting point is 00:58:52 I don't know what's so fucked up, man. Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. You do. I didn't have the insider track, man. You do. I really didn't, though. I really didn't, man. Yeah. I'm not going to sit here and try to talk you into that masterpiece. It's one of my, it might be my favorite thing. That's what you said. That's unbelievable. Do you remember that show? Remember that movie, Dream Team? Probably one of the best movies ever. Remember Michael Keaton? I love Michael Keaton. What was the Dream Team? Will you show the picture of that? I've seen everything, everything from Mr. Mom and the thing he did about like when he was trying to run the American car making company. Oh, wow. That was a great one. I know you're talking about Hold

Starting point is 00:59:26 That Tiger? That one when he has the light in the middle? No, that's Kevin Costner was in that. No, that was Tucker with the... Tucker, that was good. Yeah. How good was that? Tim Robbins. Jesus, they should remake that. There you go, right there. I never saw that one. Oh, probably one of the top 20 or 30 films ever, I think. It's in color, too. Dream Team, it's about four guys. They're in mental health facility and they finally get tickets to a baseball game. I never saw that one. I've seen most of his films. Do you ever see Founder? Is that about the dog that dies? No, that's about McDonald's. Oh, yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. You saw that, right? You like that one? So good. There you go. You didn't walk out. You didn't feel like...

Starting point is 01:00:07 See that? I understand fast food. I like this one. Too much talking, can't handle. It's almost like that was... If there was subtitles, I could see why you wouldn't fucking enjoy it. That one did it for me, bro. Founder was so good. There you go. See, I love something that has, I think, more of like a glory. Remember that movie, Glory, about the slave fight from 1700? Wasn't that a Denzel movie? Matthew Broderick, Denzel Washington, Damon Wayans. So, I don't think Theo likes Slice of Life, because from what I've heard, that was once upon a time in Hollywood. Not a ton of narrative arc, just them. That's not Slice of Life. That's what people are saying, Bill.

Starting point is 01:00:47 That's what people are saying, Bill. It is Slice of Life. Yeah, they're just living. Can we look up the definition? I didn't know what it... Yeah, we look up Slice of Life again. It was the Manson murders with a happy ending. That was the backdrop, but... Yeah. I liked... I just like how he took all the fear out of the Manson family. He was like, there's a bunch of stupid fucking hippies who killed a bunch of creative, talented people in the prime of their lives. And then the other people who weren't in show business down the street that he didn't... Very sad....seen to cover. I know we talked about this before, Bill, off just on the phone, but do you...

Starting point is 01:01:24 Like, I have a tough time with giving away, when I do a special and that sort of thing, like doing, giving away the audio, all that kind of stuff. I guess not letting go of my material, but... I mean, you treasure the audio. Right. Why would you... But did you ever feel like that? I'm sure... Because you always seem like the guy who's like, wants to do it his own way. You know, you have all things coming. You always seem like the guy that wants to... Oh, I have that with a bunch of other people. So that's me working with other people. Right. Yeah. See, I opened it up and look what happened. And I'm putting out... Jessica Kerson specials coming out next. Ian Edwards is... Ian Talk, yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:00 Yeah. Ian Talk is out right now. We did one with Paul Verzi, you know. So, yeah. But I do... I work with a bunch of people. Al Madrigal. Yeah. Mike Bertolino. Yeah. Mike's great, by the way. Yes, he is. Yes, he is. Anyways, what were you asking me? Just did you have a tough time? Like, I guess... I don't know. Sometimes I just have a tough time with that. I just have a tough time with like... Just feel like I'm getting taken advantage of constantly, I guess, is what it is.

Starting point is 01:02:26 Yeah. At some point, it's basically... You know, a fighter knows how to take a punch. I mean, that's the best you can do, because it's coming. It's coming. There's always going to be like... It's very rare, you know, that, you know, somebody... There's always the bullshit that you're going to have to wait through. So what you need to get... You need to get a really good lawyer, and you have to be willing to walk. Those are two huge things. And then you just kind of go from there, and you got to go with your gut. And sometimes they get you, sometimes they don't. But it is not a... You know, business is not a fun experience.

Starting point is 01:03:06 Yeah. Just put it that way. It is just like lying and stealing, that probably the two number one commandments broken every fucking 90th of a second. It's so... That's what it is. Which is what's so funny about this whole dialogue out there, this... What do they call it? That's going on out there about how, you know, men move through the world. You just basically the doors fly open and stuff. It's like, no, dude, it is a... It's a fuck party. They're trying to get your face down. Every fucking thing you walk in. That whole thing that is a guy that you're immune to this fucking... Yeah, dude. The amount of times I've almost just

Starting point is 01:03:47 quit this business. The only reason why I didn't was because I realized that, like, it's like, well, I'm just going to get into another business and it's going to be the same way. Right. You know what I mean? It's just the nature of business. The nature of business is that there's just... Yeah. Yeah. People are going to fucking try to put your face down in their desk. And if you let them...

Starting point is 01:04:08 Look, I'll tell you this. If you do a little bit of, you know, gambling, if you like to get out there at the late night hours and lay a little wager down on something fancy, you know, maybe they got a... A Wama Runner is going to do a run... Is running uphill against a Beagle, you know, and you want to lay a few shillings on it where you can. Maybe you got a shrimp and a seahorse want to wrestle and you can do that in the yard and make you a little money. But at the end of a hard week, it's great to sit down, take some time off and to watch football, a more popular competition. Do the smart thing when you do it and go to mybookie.ag. No one gives you more ways to win than they do. My bookie... I just accidentally laid a wager last week. I bet I

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Starting point is 01:07:57 Yeah. I got blueberries and a little bit of cut turkey from the deli. Yeah. That's what you want to do. But if you start having like lamb or something, liquor and all, no, I'm just talking like, I want these candies. I want this. They're going to buy the Halloween fucking pack. And that right there will be a way to fucking skim 200 bucks from you. That's just at that fucking level. Forget about all the other shit. You get in with promoters and they double, triple, quadrupled, fucking dip. It's like, do you remember? Did you ever have to, you can't because... Because then it makes it hard for me to do my work because I get so fucking mad having to be my own business person sometimes, you know what I'm saying? Like, or having to feel like I'm getting, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:08:39 It just makes me angry. You can't take it. The problem I have is that the people who do it sleep at night comfortably. They're just like, Hey, you know, that's how business is done. This is how we do business. That's how you do business. You can't do business unless you're just fucking somebody over and stealing from them. How do you feel when you sit in your fucking hot tub? I don't know, whatever. I got fucking issues in other areas. Yeah. Did I love the line from your special about the lady in the hot tub? You're like, you're fucking sitting right there next to me. Oh yeah. The way white women have divorced themselves from their own white privilege. Bro, I fell off of my couch.

Starting point is 01:09:16 Swung their Gucci boot over the other side of the fence to be victims is fucking hilarious. Let's take a question right here. We got another speaking of a white guy right here with all this fucking privilege, sending this in. Hey, Bill Theo. This is Luke. Hey, Theo. I was just wondering if you've ever flown in a helicopter. Bill, would you take them up? That'd be kind of a fun little trip. And Bill, I know you're working on your instrument rating. Keep plugging at it, man. I'm an instrument and a commercially rated fixed wing pilot. So I know what you're going through. Just hit that far aim, brother. Take care. I never been in a helicopter. I've been in like, oh, I've been in a Black Hawk one time actually, and I was doing a show in Basra or something,

Starting point is 01:09:56 and I got a blow job on an unsecure airfield from a female and in the middle of the night in a Black Hawk helicopter. Praise God, brother. There you go. So yes, he's been in a helicopter. So I have been in one, but only with a gun, you know, only when people had guns. Do you keep a weapon on yours or no? On what? In your... I don't know if you have a helicopter or if you rent a helicopter. Do I really have to answer that? He knows goddamn well I don't have a weapon. Why are you doing this? You don't? You don't have a gun? I don't think it's obtuse, really, to think you might have a weapon in there with you. Think about it. Yeah, think about it. You think about it. All right. All right, man. Just a small gun, dude. Just a hand piece. Yeah, no. Okay. Fine. Fine, Bill.

Starting point is 01:10:44 Just a fucking ridiculous question. You're bringing Hoosie up there when you fly. Fly is a hobby. Here's another question about Bill's interests. That kind of looks like me a little bit. Hey, Theo. Hey, Bill. Hey. Theo, I'm really looking forward to seeing you in a couple weeks. The Rat Pack is going to see their Lord and Savior in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Praise the God, brother. Praise God. I'm currently smoking a Sir Robert Peele. Slobbering all over it. That name is pretty pretentious, but onward. Bill, my question to you is in smoking these Nicksticks, it's been my experience that the group of people, the subculture, there's less knuckleheads. Yes. Is that your experience? Yes. And what's your favorite cigar and or brand? Gang gang. All right. Yeah, that's

Starting point is 01:11:34 what it is. The conversation, the people you hang with. I don't think I've, there's gotta be one or two. I don't think I've ever met a cigar smoker who wasn't fucking cool and chill. Chris Carter smokes him. He's on that television show. Yeah, a lot of athletes smoke him. My favorite one right now. I love those lauroras that come in those torpedo-like tubes. And I was an emerald guy. Now I like the sapphire. The sapphire, that is my, that's my go-to. I love a laurora cigars. They got these little ones that call them zeppelins. They come 20 to a box looking like a little mini, you know. Can you smoke them at night? When do you smoke them in the morning? What's the earliest you'll smoke? Do you have a little bit of a culture for yourself? Well, I'm trying to lay

Starting point is 01:12:18 off them. So I kind of like, you know, I, what I try to do is because I have so many friends that smoke that I try to get a large group together rather than smoke with all of eight people individually. I try to get all of us together. So I just smoke once. But I got a back porch I like to go out to, but there's like this fucking psycho-level mosquito out here now that if you go out there at night, like even if you got clothes on it, like fucking goes right through your clothes. Oh wow, haven't heard of that. Yeah, yeah. It's fucking brutal. And do you and the, does your wife smoke them too sometimes or no? No, no, no, she doesn't. My wife's cool as shit. She's all right with it. Like she sees me all like wound up. She goes, why don't you go

Starting point is 01:12:57 smoke a cigar? Oh wow. Yeah. Go do some standup. I think you need to go do some standup. Like she kind of like manages my, like I started bouncing around the fucking house. Like, do you need to go out tonight? Like what's going on with you? Probably. And that's what I have to do. I get in the car and I fucking put on some AC DC fantasize that I'm in the band. Yeah. Singing this lyrics. And then when Angus starts playing, then I'm Angus, whoever's doing the most interesting shit during the song is how self involved I am as I'm fantasizing as I drive down the road. And then I go down to the store and whatever I do some standup. And then I come back. And then I'm more chill. But yeah, I try to try to smoke like once every two weeks.

Starting point is 01:13:35 Oh, that's good. Yeah. But I'm not doing that. Did, did you, did you like take to it right away? Because like, no, you like force yourself. No, you know what happened? I was on a movie and I bought a box of cigars for everybody because we were going on on a boat. The director was taking us out to go on this little boat ride around, I think we were in Boston. And it was just too many non smokers there and to just bust out 10 and everybody's smoking would have been obnoxious. So I kept saying to the other actress, we're going to hang, we're going to hang, right? Blah, blah, blah. And we just, it just didn't happen. And then I, I didn't want to throw them out. And then I had them. And I was like, fuck, and I never smoked in a cigar by myself. And I made

Starting point is 01:14:13 the mistake is I went out to my back porch by myself and smoked one. And there's just great that habit. Well, when you smoke a cigar, even if you haven't done shit that day, you feel like you conquered a country. There's just because it's something it's inherently obnoxious. But it's delicious. And it's relaxing. And I was just like, I just instantly in that moment, I was like, I get this, this is fucking amazing. And it took a little while after that for it to hold, but it's been pretty bad for the last five years. So just keep trying and I can get addicted. Did you ever do plug tobacco to give you anything like that? No, I never smoke. I was, that's the thing I never smoked. I never smoked weed, never did any of that shit.

Starting point is 01:14:54 Chewing tobacco? Nope, never did it. I was that kid that when they came to school, if I could just reach one kid, I was the guy that got reached. And yeah, that's somewhere in my late 30s. I think I finally was just like, am I never going to know what it feels like to be stoned? So I took a hit. So occasionally, I do that. You and the wife will roll up a little blunt or no? Sometimes it's a special occasion, maybe an anniversary or something? Yeah, maybe it may not really, though, not really. Certainly not a blunt. I mean, we're pretty like, we just fucking, we hang out. She's cool as shit. So we sat there last, what's cool right now, she, you know, she watches Real Housewives,

Starting point is 01:15:32 which usually drives me nuts, but there's one woman on there who's so funny and just trashes. Which season is it? I don't know what it is, but she just says, she was at dinner and this woman was just running her yaps. Because you know what, she was funny that she used the word freaking. Because you're a freaking cunt. And they all gasp. She just fucking called her a cunt. I was like, I like this. And she just, she just doesn't care. Oh, fuck her. She's a dumb ass. She's not even hurt. Some bulls should happen. She goes, I guarantee she goes to the emergency room and the chick went to the emergency room. And she literally went, she went, I called it. I called it. She sounded like my friends that watch sports. So the fact that she's on there,

Starting point is 01:16:10 I think it's, I think it's going to increase their male viewership. Because other than that, it's just, it's just, I can't, I mean, they're just screaming and yelling at each other. And then they, then even worse than they got to work it out. Yeah. And they're always crying. And they're so rich. Well, at least they try to look rich, but they're also like always trying to like do something spiritual. Yeah. Yeah. They're always getting crystals or something. They're trying to go to sit down for the weekend. Yeah. That rich, rich, white chick, fucking. It's gotta, it's, yeah. I don't know what they're doing. And they have just a, their clothes are a lot, the makeup's a lot, the boat. So the whole thing is just, everything is just extra. Yeah. So

Starting point is 01:16:52 there's always been, the rich have always really driven me nuts, I felt like, because I feel like that's one thing it's fun to grow up with. You don't grow up with money. It's having that, that arch nemesis in just the rich in general. You know, like we used to, that can turn into self-sabotage. So be careful about that. Don't feel guilty about it. And like, there's a lot of cool people. I did a private party one time for a self-made billionaire. Wow. Him and his two brothers all became billionaires in three different areas. And like, I met the guy and like, I didn't do well at the party either. I was doing, I opened with the Michelle Obama bit. Yeah. And you know, it was like a real liberal crowd.

Starting point is 01:17:30 And it was not, it was not the best way to go. That's a bad choice, yeah. And, but he was sitting there in the middle, big smile looking around. He fucking loved it. And afterwards when I met him, I was just like, Hey, but he was both going like, he goes, no, that was great. It was great. I was like, sorry about the Obama thing kind of started off bad. And he just goes, he was like, I think it was cool. I mean, I, I like the stuff you were saying. I think you were saying a lot of stuff that needs to be heard. And he just was the coolest guy ever. And then I was asking him where he was from. And he turned out, you know, I had, you know, great, great, great, great, you know, grandfathers that grew up in the same area and

Starting point is 01:18:04 should just end up being really cool. And so you do meet like a lot. It's like when people say the LA, it's just a bunch of phony plastic people. And then you come out here and you, there's a lot of really fucking, there's a lot of really plastic phony people, but there's also all these really cool people. So it just depends on how you're going to look at it. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe my perspective sometimes I think, well, one thing definitely is I've made more money even just in the past year, I finally started making money, you know, and it's definitely been like, yeah, sometimes even in the beginning, I'm just going to start yelling at himself in the mirror like Leo and the part before you walked out. Was it really piece of shit? Yeah. Oh, he yells at himself in the mirror.

Starting point is 01:18:39 It's one of my favorite scenes. Maybe I got to watch it again. Yeah. You don't have to. I don't want to force. Well, I'm not going to watch it because you want me to watch it, but I'll watch it maybe because maybe I did miss something, you know, I just said at a certain point, I'm just like, my favorite part of it was that Brad Pitt had a little bit of like a hitch in his walk a little bit if you notice that. What about Leo with the speech impediment that only happened off? I love how you just dismissed that. Yeah. Oh my God. That's amazing. That's what's amazing about when somebody makes something like people's reaction like, oh my God, this is the greatest thing ever. Somebody else fucking walked out. I get nervous. The whole movie theater was listening

Starting point is 01:19:18 to my inner thoughts. They care. They care this much about me. I don't think they care. I fucking care in my head. I care too much. When I put the hat on, that means I got to go. That's fine. I want to show you my truck. All right. So we can bond on something. We can agree. We missed the mark on Mary Tyler Moore. Yep. You brought up some family man. Have you seen that movie? I've seen Family Guy. What about the nice guys? Oh, you got to see that. Okay. You got to see that one. That's a funny one. Oh, what's a nice guys? No, I don't know. I think you're looking down. You got your jaw out. You got your jaw out. It's very confrontation. I'm feeling like you're not liking my suggestions. You're just like, you like the America. It's upon a time in Hollywood. This

Starting point is 01:19:59 guy's dead to me. He's dead to me. Just to let you know, I can't hear your inner thoughts. So don't get all fucking weirded out. Just walk out on me. That's so crazy. I feel like you're in my head, man. Super quick. I really do. A lot of people ask this question and Mike Nucci on Patreon asked, are you going to get another dog once your daughter's older? Yes. And what a lot of people don't know is my dog is still my dog. I just someone else watches her for me. And that's a very convoluted contract had to be drawn up. Because I'm still liable if the thing does something I think. I don't know. But like, I am still taking care of that dog. She's going to be in town soon. I still miss her. I love hanging out with her. But I'm not going to lie. When I brought her

Starting point is 01:20:46 around the house, I had her on the lease just because I was feeling guilty that I got rid of her, gave her to somebody else. When she saw my daughter, she was cool. But I didn't let her anywhere near her. But then we set her down on the bed where she used to be. And she sort of glanced. I saw her ears go up and get fixated. Normally, I give it a tug just to kind of make her look at something else. I'm gonna see what she does. And she looked at my cute little baby and just went like, all right, that's why you don't live here. And I haven't had guilt about it ever since I still miss that dog tremendously. But as my trainer said, this is one of these dogs, nature said no to people said yes to because even with his crazy skill set, like it took him a year

Starting point is 01:21:27 just to have the dog get used to all the other dogs that it was living with now and to become friends with one of them sort of. And he still has to watch because the other thing about my dog was like when she decided that she was going for it, she usually didn't do that. She would just look make the decision and then just go. So there was no warning. And my trainer was going, this is a top level predator. Wow. I was just like, all right, I'm a baby. I can't fucking do this. So like a shark. Yeah, dude, it was it. And she's like you and the dog meet up or like spend a year. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, she comes, you know, once every like six weeks, you know, the guy who has him comes into LA. Nice guy boards. Yeah, yeah. But it's a trainer.

Starting point is 01:22:14 The trainer. Yeah. So that's why I feel safe with the arrangement. So he brings her in. And then I take her for walks. We have a great time and all of that stuff. And, you know, she's getting older. She's definitely since we let her go, she's kind of slowed down a little bit. But she's defied the laws of like 1000 times like a dog like that, especially as a pit bull would be put down. And, you know, somebody had her for a year, just let her go, we got her, we had her for 2009 to the end of 2016. So we had about eight and a half years. Damn, my line, my math is wrong, I think they're nine to eight and a half years. And then he's had her for like the last basically all of my daughter's life. We gave her away like a year before my daughter was born. So

Starting point is 01:23:02 did your daughter know about the dog? No, no, no, no, no, no. I yeah, I mean, I'll tell her about her something. I feel like the dog was was crazy. You came, the dog just had the dog was like a bouncer. Yeah. If you got grandfathered in and you were cool. And then once you anything after that was like, no, who the fuck is this? This person needs to be terminated. Did you ever you ever donated sperm or anything like that when you were coming up as a comedian? Nope. And I don't have a gun in my helicopter, but I want to thank you for having me and help me promote my special. I just have to get home because my kids getting up from the nap and it's my watch. I love it all your attitude. And I love everything that you're doing. I'm so

Starting point is 01:23:39 happy for you and all your success. You're always supportive. You're doing it. Just expand. Don't be afraid to get into business with the people. Get a good lawyer. All right. All right, buddy. All right. Thanks, Bill. Thank you. And now I've been moving way too fast.

This Past Weekend - Bill Burr | This Past Weekend #231

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