This Past Weekend - Donnell Rawlings | This Past Weekend #150

Episode Date: November 22, 2018

Theo Von sits down with Donnell Rawlings. Donnell Rawlings Tour Dates http://www.donnellrawlings.com/whereisdonnellrawlings November 23rd – 25th 2018 / DC Improv / Washington DC November 29,2018 / St Andrews Hall1/ Detroit,M November 30.2018 / Varsity Theatre/ Minneapolis,MN December 1 /Athenaeum /Indianapolis This episode brought to you by… Omax3 https://www.tryomax.com/weekend FREE box of Omax3 with your first purchase! Hair Club https://www.hairclub.com/Theo Free hair analysis AND a free take home hair care kit – all valued over three hundred dollars MNML Case https://mnmlcase.com/ Black Friday Special: 1st 100 purchases to use code THEO30 receive 30% off Grey Block Pizza 1811 Pico Blvd. Santa Monica, CA http://bit.ly/GreyBlock Music “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn Aaron Jones Aaron Stein Addison Ardolino Adriana Hernandez Aidan Duffy Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Sideris Alexander Contreras Amanda Sherman Andrea Gagliani Andrew Valish Andy Mac Angelo Raygun Angie Angeles Anna Winther Anthony Schultz Arielle Nicole Ashley Konicki Audrey Harlan Austin Kehler Ben Ben Deignan Ben Limes Benjamin Streit Big Easy Bryan Reinholdt Bubba Hodge California Outlaw Calvin Doyle Campbell Hile Carla Huffman Casey Roberts Casey Rudesill Chad Saltzman Christian from Bakersfield Christopher Stath Clint Lytle Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Dan Draper Dan Ray David Smith David Wyrick Donald blackwell Dwehji Majd Felicity Black Felix Theo Wren Gabriel Almeda Garrett Blankenship Ginger Levesque Greg H Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia Jacob Ortega Jacob Rice James Ashmore James banks James Bown James Hunter Jameson Flood Jason Bragg Jason Haley Jeffrey Lusero Jenna Sunde Jerry Zhang Jesse Witham Joe Dunn Joey Desrosiers Joey Piemonte John Kutch Jon Ross Jonny Zaz Josh Cowger Justin L justin marcoux justin shuy Karen Sullivan Katy Doyle Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kevin Fleury Kiera Parr Kirk Cahill Kishalin kristen rogers Lacey Briesemeister Laura Williams Lauren Cribb Leighton Fields Logan Yakemchuk Luke Danton Mark Bentley Matt Holland Matt Kaman Matt Leftwich Matthew Azzam Matthew Price Matthew Sizemore Matthew Snow Megan Daily Meghan LaCasse Michael polcaro Mike Poe Mike Sarno Mitchell Watson Mona McCune Ned Arick Nick Butcher Niko Ferrandino Nyx Ballaine Alta Old McTronald Old Scroat Mccrackin Owen Lide Paddy jay Passenger Shaming Paul Flores Philip James Qie Jenkins Ranger Rick Renee Nicol RinDee Robyn Tatu Ryan Crafts Ryan Forrest Ryan Jordan Ryan Kraenbring Ryan Walsh Sam Illgen Sarah Anderson Scott Lucy Scott Swain Shane Pacheco Shannon Schulte Stacy Blessing Stepfan Jefferies Stephanie Claire Steve Corlew Steven Sungmin Choe Suzanne O'Reilly thatdudewiththepaperbag The Asian Hamster Thee shitfaced chef Tim Greener Tim Ozcelik Timothy Eyerman Tom in Rural NC Tom Kostya Tom Reichardt Tommy Redditt Travis Vowell Ty Oliver Tyler Harrington Tyler Shaver Victor Montano William Morris Zech JohnsonSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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and for being here with us whenever you're consuming this episode. As well, happy Thanksgiving. Nick, wanted to say something to you guys? I just want to say happy Thanksgiving to all the listeners and enjoy that turkey and that tryptophan.

That tryptophan, dude. Look, that's free dope, isn't it? Yeah, that's white people dope according to our guest today. That's true. That's white people dope according to our guest today. Today's guest is a friend of mine. He's a confidant. He's a retired U.S. military serviceman.

I don't know if he's retired, but, I mean, he ain't fighting today, you know. U.S. military serviceman. I don't know if he's retired, but he ain't fighting today. He is someone that I look up to. No doubt he is one of the funniest people that I know. He's coming to tour in the next few weeks, I think, in Indianapolis, Minneapolis, and... We'll have all those dates below. We'll have all those dates below, right? And Detroit, I think it is, actually.

You may know him as Ashley Larry from The Chappelle Show. It's my friend, Mr. Donnell Rollins. I'm a little obsessed. You are? Yeah, because you've been trying to get me to come to this podcast for probably, I'll say, roughly like a year. Yeah. And then part of the Lord, but we're friends.

I would come on anyway. He was like, yo, we take care of our people. We send cars for them and everything. Yep. And if I remember, I drove myself to your podcast today. Yeah. And I talked to all my all your other friends the white people and everybody else had cars yeah i'm just trying to get a clear

understanding on why i couldn't get a car and not only that i couldn't get a car i know that your guests come up here you offer them beverages yeah like um like mint tea wheat shots you know and and i'm a little upset because i don't know if this is racist whatever the cucumber part is definitely white okay the watermelon part was it like a like did you guys like who was responsible for giving the black guy there's a survey online it says if you look up flavors that that you know urban people like right, urban people like. Right. What urban people meaning? People, you know, from. From inner city?

From the city, yeah. Overall. Are they like a specific shade or anything or just anybody? I mean, is it reserved just for Latinos and blacks? I just want to get to the bottom of it. And the reason why I want to get to the bottom of it, I consider you to be a dear friend. Yeah. And I know you went through some legal issues about a week ago.

Yeah, I did actually. As all of us always Yeah. And I know you went through some legal issues about a week ago. Yeah, I did, actually. As all of us always do. And they got you. They got me. They got you. And you did time. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

And I was excited to be here because I know if I could come to your park, because that means you're home. Yeah. You're free. Yeah. First off, it's good to see you. Thank you, man. And with that said, I brought you some gifts. Oh, damn.

That's what's up. It's almost like a care package. Most of you would probably need this when you was in the joint. But I got you these things coming out the joint because I care about you. Oh, respect, man. I don't know if you want to. You can save for later. You can show people.

I'll show people, man. Yeah, I think open it. All right. Yeah. We got that hamburger helper, boy. Oh, Salisbury. Yeah, I couldn't. You got to help yourself with the hamburger.

I didn't get the hamburger. I thought it was kind of messy. If I bought it. So that's the start, son. That's that start. You know how many packs of cigarettes you get in the joint? Well, you know because you was in a joint. How many packs of cigarettes you can get for one box of hamburger?

Oh, probably two packs. Nah, that's two packs of Marlboro Lights. Yeah. Because black people don't really smoke them too much. But you could get a carton of Newport's. That's just for you to know the next time you're in respect man i really appreciate that let me see this second item oh that ramen that's another favorite where you came from son that's where if you meet a meet somebody in a joint you could treat them to something at

that yeah if you got to pot to boil your water you know how y'all was yeah oh i'll cook in the toilet usually but i wanted you to i you know just coming home i didn't i didn't want to put your face that you was locked up but i still want you to know that people know what you're what you're what you're what you what i was going through my struggle and this right there that rich and creamy boy and those were two dudes that i met in the joint actually but the creamy you know i'm saying i don't even like to use you just came home those words you can't use when you're locked up rich or creamy yeah but i just thought you don't you know you probably didn't have a lot of desserts so you ain't even got it open and it's and it's i it's i couldn't get a new one oh damn yeah i felt like it was leaking it's a

little but it still get the same thing just put on your thumb and go to work son yeah that's that baby bad huh yeah that's definitely man that's that little treat and what is this oh one avocado because you got with all the other stuff i gave you with the soda make a salad i gotta keep you keep you healthy at the same time i like that man all them spaghettios that's for thanksgiving son that's a special treat you don't that's not no every day every day oodles of noodles you can eat those every day but yeah it's somebody care about you to send you that now we're talking good stuff right here and what is this that's mascara i don't know what you was into when you was like dang yeah yeah if you want to get back in touch or i don't know you got nice eyebrows you might want to touch them up that might not be for the streets that's just for the

bitches son yeah no i'll put some of this on sometime especially uh if i go back in oh and i got this power cable too yeah because i know you you probably didn't have access to your phone and i'm gonna tell you in a gift bag everybody at some point they want an extra cord yeah and that's an iphone charger too so i get i got you that because i care about you oh thanks man this is awesome dude and have you do you is it common if you have like friends like buddies of yours that you'll give them like urban people well yeah do you guys deal a lot and like do you give is that a common thing if you see a like a friend yeah you know or a black guy who's gotten out of jail do you give them something is there

like a usual gift you'll get i mean the best thing you want to give them is advice yeah a lot of them don't usually take that and that's the reason why they're in there So a lot of my boys say Man fuck all that advice What you got Throw something in the bag Yeah And when you come home Even if you wasn't really connected to that person

You know like coming home is a big deal in the streets Yeah So you try to show them Some people give up money, clothes, whatever But I'm not feeling like that So I try to give out little care packages That's beautiful I took the time out to put those things together for you son

I appreciate it man Thank you very much that's nice dude you're probably one of my 60 or 70 favorite you know diverse friends that i have or probably maybe even top 20 top 10 i don't really even believe that you have 60 70 diverse friends and i don't want to i don't want to i don't want to blow you up if i said name them naming me three times is not the same thing and also you can't use a wu-tang because nobody know how many wu-tang anybody know how many wu-tang clans it won't stop it's little wolves they got a new clan man they got a new clan in town i had frederick douglas on that list too man so it goes deep yeah i see you took you really paid attention attention to Black History Month because a lot of people wouldn't even know who Frederick Douglass was unless it was Black History Month.

I appreciate you for being in a place, in a school where they taught you who Frederick Douglass was. Yeah. That's dope. Where are you playing at next? I got a tour now, the Funny Moves tour. We start Live Nation. I team with Live Nation And they're doing some

You know Small theaters See if we can make the transition From nightclub To the theater First stop is Detroit I think Detroit is on the 29th Your mood is closer

Detroit is on the 29th You can pull it back if you want Yeah Move it however you want Detroit Oh I'm black So I gotta lean back Is that what it is?

You got a recliner? Damn black people You can't I feel like you can't Where else? Okay you said Detroit I want to get, so I got to lean back. Isn't that what it is? You got a recliner? Damn, black people. I feel like you can't. Where else? Okay, you said Detroit. I want to get through these. I got a question. Minneapolis?

Yeah. Indianapolis. Indianapolis. Yeah. Back to back. 29, 30. That's a tough one. That one, Indianapolis, son.

Once you go past three or four syllables, I get stuck, man. You know, I'm clapping Minneapolis. It's too many for me, son. But y'all know what it is. Ride or die. Gang gang. Dude, that's it. Gang gang, man.

Free 69, son. Oh, he's in, huh? Yeah. What do black people think about 69? They like, I mean, it's interesting because he's hype. He's hype. Anytime anybody represents Brooklyn, you know, brothers want to attach themselves to that. He's grimy.

just want to attach yourself to that he's grimy but the same things that are street things that people I guess got connected with him is the reason why you know he's locked up now you know I don't

wish death or prison on anybody but you know I'm saying you gotta know something's gonna happen to when you invite people to suck your dick yeah fuck y'all this fuck y'all we got gas and it's so

easy for the FBI and these tactical units to find these people because all they gotta do is follow them on Instagram yeah you know I'm saying how do we know y'all this. Fuck y'all we got gas. And it's so easy for the FBI and these tactical units to find these people because all they got to do is follow them on Instagram. You know what I'm saying? How do we know y'all was going to be gangbanging in Chicago? Because you said pull up in Chicago. Right. So I wish the best for them. I respect the fact that a kid at his age could troll enough where they could put themselves in a situation where they got financial gains. They're popular

and he made it. At the same time, the same things that you got popular for could be the death of you. For all the trolls out there, be careful. Do you think, he's like the Rainbow Bobby Schmurda kind of a little bit. It's Schmurda. Sorry. It's like, see white people,

it's like you gotta drop the E-R. No, you gotta do, you gotta take the E-R you gotta put letters together that don't go together no you gotta do you gotta take the E-R off it's like you can't you can't do like schmurder that's like the N word with the R at the end of it

I don't use that man the schmurder yeah the schmurder and Bobby Schmurder was the blueprint on how to get locked up yeah

and they from like the same area in Brooklyn I just don't understand why 6ix9ine didn't see it but you know I wish him well don't drop the soap son and you know hopefully you know the situation where the public can see him, one of the care packages that I sent you.

Yeah, that's a good point, actually. We should make a Bobby Schmurda. We should make a us. We should make a 6ix9ine care package and send one. Yeah. That'd be awesome. Rainbow Skittles. Yeah, dude.

What's he going to look like when he gets out, though, do you think? Does the rainbow fade over time? I don't know. Well, if he comes out he looks like we know something something tragic happened we know that he did he didn't have soap on the rope you know yeah but the thing about it he's only been he's only been uh uh uh charged yeah you know i'm saying now here's the thing if for some reason you know none of these none of these uh charges stick which is highly unlikely yeah because the feds have 97% conviction rate, if he beats it, then he's going to be immortal, man, in the streets.

Yeah. And white kids, they could do two weeks in prison and come out and have a number one rap album. Yeah. I'm surprised you're not spitting hot fire right now, sir. I might have to pull up with some hits. You did four hours, sir. All you need to do is get two gunshot wounds. You know what I'm saying?

You get shot three or four. I think the number to be respected in the streets is get shot four times. Damn. You just coming home after a four-hour bid and you get shot four times, son. You could go platinum. I was stuck in traffic longer than I was in there, man. And that's the whole thing. I know for you to get a four four hour sentence and drive eight hours when you got off the bus it was time served

but you was hard you came back you different so you probably got tattoos oh i feel different man you should feel different man have you ever been locked up or nah yep really 48 damn hours damn it was who was in there you remember anybody Who was in there? You remember anybody that was in there? It was just motherfuckers. Yeah. And it was just motherfuckers. And I did 48 hours.

And, you know, it was tough. I didn't have no weapon. The only weapon I had, because they gave us, you know about this, they gave us one of those boxes of Frosted Flakes. Yeah. And you get a spork. You know a spork? Oh, yeah.

From Popeye's. Yeah, it's get a spork. You know a spork? Oh, yeah. From Papa's. Yeah, it's like a... Spoon and a fork. It's a cross between a spoon and a fork. So I don't have a shank, but in the can, they don't know if you got a shank. Yeah.

So what you do is I had the spork behind me, like, I wish the fuck y'all would. Oh, damn. You know? And then I would test it, and I think they were scared of me because I would test my shank on the wall, and it would bend.

The plastic part would bend like that. So it wasn't that gangsta. I was there for 48 hours. You're never supposed to tell people what you're in there for, but I let people know suspended license. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Damn.

Suspended license. It was one of the days where normally when I drive, I use my blinkers. I let motherfuckers know I'm going to make a right, but the day I was feeling rebellious, I wasn't with that blinker shit. So I looked right. I turned left. Police turned left police rolled on me they came up to me but roll the window down and um the police looked at me he said um I need to see your driver's license and I looked at him I said look y'all took my license two years ago don't tell me y'all lost my motherfucking license you know I'm saying boom as you know i mean it can't i did 48 but you know i came home

i got strong i got god yeah i was a muslim for two hours are you really yeah what about an israelite are you that yeah that's the new thing i feel because i used to have a thing for white chicks so it's hard to be israelite and have jungle fever at the same time they don't they don't go together it's got to be all about the sisters i like the outfits yeah but i like the outfits but the things they preach whatever i'm not really for that and i like bacon outfits yeah but i like the outfits but the things they preach whatever i'm not really for that and i like bacon yeah oh yeah you can't do it yeah i had growing up it was it was tough for me with religion because every time we got close to religion mom every time we got close to a holiday my mother would change our religion damn to save

money yeah like about two weeks before Christmas, we was Muslims. Damn. A week before my birthday, we was Jehovah Witnesses. And there's no disrespect to God or anything, but I was like, man, fuck this, man. I wanted God to like toys and like bacon and like me to sleep on Saturday. You know what I'm saying? And I didn't really experience any of that until when I went to the military. When I went to the military, because I was Muslim, Jehovah, all that.

When I went to the military, I'm in a chow hall, and they had a pan of bacon, son. And this is when I quit being a Muslim. They had a pan of bacon. They had eggs. They had potatoes and everything. It was like, what do you want? I said, bacon. They said, what else?

I said, bacon. They said, what else? I said, bacon. So I'm coming out of there. I'm scared. I'm crazy. Bacon up. And I'm bacon up.

so i'm coming out of there i'm scared and i'm baking up so you know no disrespect to anybody practice you know um uh muslim muslim yeah or the nation islam slims we call them slims where i'm from slims yeah yeah but i you know i mean i it was part of my life i got past it and i eat pork whenever i want to yeah that's what i'm talking about yeah is it i feel like bacon tastes better if you're a black guy is that true or a black person and that's not like a racial thing i just think food seemed like everything seemed like it tastes better if you're a black guy. Is that true or a black person? And that's not like a racial thing. I just think food seem like everything seem like it tastes better. Like music seems like it sounds better. You say you think it tastes better? If you are, like, I feel like maybe like, you know, AFAM taste buds, you know, or African-American taste buds kind of they just I feel like maybe you guys hear music differently.

You might taste differently. The way you interpret things is different. So're saying black people good at eating pork and white people i'm not saying that man i mean i think it tastes better for black people yes i don't know about that bro i don't know about that i would have that you go to the midwest what are those crazy white dudes no teeth tobacco yeah what they do you know you know those guys those they love port but i'm saying like black black people i don't know if we we taking spits and turning white people y'all put the whole pig on the joint we just want bacon yeah y'all want to snout y'all want to heal and everything but i don't know but if you look back

historically white people they have violent they're violent like that yeah historically they've done a lot of stuff i don't want to get into that i do want to get into it but yeah but who but but do you think though that there do you really do you think though that there could really be like a thing where like black people hear music uh differently than yeah we hear it we hear it with rhythm yeah you know i'm saying yeah we hear know, like a lot of white people, they hear it with a one and a two and a three and a four. But black people hear that same thing and they'll be like, ooh, nah, nah. Yeah. It's just more of a rhythm. So I think our brains process rhythm a lot better than the average white person would.

Yeah. But you have some like white guys. In every neighborhood, there's always one white guy that black chicks say he could get it wow you know and that guy's usually the one with the rhythm it's not extended through the whole neighborhood but there's always one guy that had a rhythm i don't think it was you yeah but i'm pretty sure it's always one guy to have the i don't do you think that they have like do black guys from america look differently at black guys that come like say like there's a guy from jamaica or there's a guy from like zaire who just moved to america what's that relationship oh man

that's when black guys feel white you know what i'm saying yeah you know i'm saying because yeah i'm just saying i don't know what type of racism is that called or whatever you know i'm saying but uh when somebody said which black guy which black guy you want to date You got one say me Then one like it is me over here And that voice It's a tough one You know what I'm saying That's wild man

Because sometimes it's like Those types of people Those black people from Africa are so different I feel like than black people from America Yeah they're go-getters They're hustlers They're hustlers for sure yeah they're hustlers but it's funny like you if without without hearing a black person when you see him you have an instant connection with him yeah you know i'm saying oh you do yeah yeah you all you know you're like oh that's my

nigga right there you know i'm saying but then when they talk like when it's like this who are you calling a nigga you know i'm saying oh no no that's not what i meant you know yeah but just on the first look on skin whatever you have like a instant connection with yeah you know that's cool man yep i get nervous sometimes you want to be black son you ever thought about it oh yeah i've thought about it yeah i when i was like you know from age age 12 to 16, every white kid does, you know? So then I definitely did. But now I think I would want to be Mexican next. I think for me, blacks still seem a little too risky.

I would wait one more. Another year before you dabble in black? Another cycle, like another life cycle. Whoa, all right. Like reincarnated one time, be Latino. So it's risky now? Just being black or risky being black, black in a car or something like that? It's still too risky for me.

I get nervous a lot. I have fear and anxiety. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you get nervous now, you wouldn't be a good black man. Yeah. Nah, definitely. You couldn't handle traffic stops. Dude, black people get nervous because it always seemed like to me when I was growing up, honestly, I don't know, that black people never got.

I was like, fuck, black people do not get nervous now we see we use different language like you call it nervous and then black people might call it shook right you know i'm saying like you wasn't you nervous now i was it's the same definition but were you nervous nah i was just a little shook yeah i mean we just don't identify with certain things like when it comes to uh like depression yeah white people can identify with depression anxiety post whatever post traumatic stress they could deal with that you know saying like you ask a white person are you stressed yeah i'm really stressed i feel a little depressed yes white person you stress you stress black person like nah i ain't stressed i'm just a little fucked up right now you know i'm saying like that little fucked up right now. You know what I'm saying?

It's the words you use. You know what I'm saying? And I know, like, Charlamagne, the guy, he has this book called Shook One, and he was talking about the stigma with black people dealing with mental issues. You know what I'm saying? And he's saying from a person that's paying a therapist $100 an hour to talk to about problems. The average black person from the hood can't afford a therapist. What you could afford is of weed yeah a bottle of hennessy and that's what we look through that's how we get um get we deal with mental issues it's not the way it should be but we don't use the same words because you get different drugs you know what i'm saying when you say when you say i'm a

little uh stressed out anxiety you get prozac xanax and all that type of shit if you say that to a black person you get weed somebody might try to give you a line of blow you know i'm saying it's not it's not the right thing to do but it's just different definitions i see you know oh that's it and all of us been a little fucked up right now but the whole thing about being a little fucked up right now is how you cope with things coping is is number one thing to deal with with any mental issues can you cope with it? Yeah. Yeah. Do they have, like, unique mental issues that you think black guys get that white guys don't get? I don't know if this is a mental issue, but a lot of black guys get, but white guys can't. Well, they can, but, like, jungle fever.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I don't think that's a mental disorder, but it's something that's a little taboo in the black community. So would you bring a white girl home to a black Thanksgiving? Never. Wow. I tried that once before. Wow.

I feel scared almost even thinking about that. No, I wouldn't do that because I did it one time. I brought this white chick home for Thanksgiving. And the family, they was like, oh, you know, love is love. Love is love and it was like love is love and she showed up to thanksgiving with a tater tot casserole oh and she showed up with white people potato salad yeah and potato salad the ingredients were uh apple chunks raisins cinnamon cranberries stuff like that hope yeah no no cholesterol you know i mean and black people really get upset

if you bring the wrong potato salad. So I wouldn't advise bringing a white chick home for Thanksgiving. Christmas is another thing, but Thanksgiving, it's a lot of pressure. It is. Yep. Dude, so I always have these weird theories, you know, man, and like, I don't think I'm racist. Like, I think. First off, anytime someone starts to sentence off with, I don't think I'm racist, it's a little bit.

But you got types of racism the type that people understand it's comical and it's the type that gets you fucked up so which one were you dealing with I think there was moments when I was what type of racist are you you answered that question quicker than I answered on Family Feud son

your family will call it right now good answer good answer Daniel what type do you think you are I'm sorry son, give your fans a call right now. Good answer. Good answer. What type do you think you are? I'm sorry. I am the one I'm trying to be honest about my racism and try to get in so I can learn

about it and learn from it. I definitely have more racial anger towards black people when I was younger. So you think it was racism or ignorance? Because ignorance is the breeding ground more racial anger towards black people when i was younger probably growing up in the south or ignorance because ignorance ignorance is the is the is the breeding ground for racism right when you're an ignorant person it leads you in a situation where you could be racist right i'm saying i think it was fear may not be fear i think mine was fear like because i knew some dudes who

were ignorant i knew dudes that drove around and like you know fuck black people you know inward this and i wasn't that you know and my mother you know, fuck black people, you know, N-word this. And I wasn't that, you know. And my mother wasn't that. And my father wasn't that. Like, you know, so, but I would get like, you know, there was just always, you know, like I rode on the bus with the black kids to school. So it was like, you know, the poor kids. I don't. The poor kids.

I don't necessarily. All right. So where was that? The front or the back of the bus? This is a good answer. I stayed in the middle. I stayed right in the middle. Because The poor kids. I don't necessarily. All right. So where was that? The front or the back of the bus? This is a good answer. I stayed in the middle. I stayed right in the middle. Because the back is where we keep it real.

You know what I'm saying? The snitches sat in the front. So the fun people, the people like myself, spitballs, airplanes, I was in the back. And like people that were confused, didn't know which way to go, sat in the middle. Yeah, I sat in the middle, man. I was scared. But I would get like, you know, black kids were like, there was like there was like you know kids would fight the black kids were always like stronger and tougher so i felt like they were like if there was fights they would always win the fights and so

i think i just had a lot more fear probably about you know i got jumped a couple times i'm like yeah so i think i had more fear but then i also had just as many like buddies that were black because they were loose like buddies that were black because they were loose like me like their parents were they were doing whatever they wanted just with a bike and just yeah but if you got beat up by i don't care what color person it was i would have racist yeah like if i got jumped in the age of 12 by a whole bunch of asian dudes i would never watch a comfort movie for the rest of my life so i gotta side with you on that whatever race beats you up with your kid fuck no so i think it just made me scared right but i think there's also this thing i felt like

like you want to there's there's there's this obsession with black culture that people want to be they want to relate to it so much it's cool if you go to any other country whatever the people that they emulate the most especially like with hip hop, is black culture. Yeah. I don't know what it is. I don't know that it goes back to when black folks were always in entertainment. I don't know where it comes from, but for some reason, people are curious about that lifestyle.

Yeah. You know? Well, knowing two black friends is better than having fucking cable these days. You have two black friends? Yeah. But as far as entertainment goes, knowing two to just spending time with you know black people like to laugh more they like to there's just more shit going on they might know somebody that got shot like there's just like people like to laugh harder harder like you do you do a black comedy club

you know if they like you yeah you know if you get oh shit stop this bubble yo yo yo yo yo yo stop it they let you feel it yeah and it's so weird because i came up from the black circuit You know, if you get a, oh, shit, stop, stop. This motherfucker, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo, yo. Stop it. They let you feel it. Yeah. And it's so weird because I came up from the black circuit, you know? Right. So I'm used to people doing, when I do my shows, if you rip it, you can feel it. Then I start doing the mainstream and crossover stuff, and I start doing white rooms.

And sometimes it was hard to tell because you'll get a chuckle. They'll point to you like this. No, that's funny. Oh, that's a great dick. Or this, two thumbs up and like i couldn't understand i would do shows sometimes i get off stage i was like i hate that shit they were coming like this oh my god you fucking killed bro the way you set up and the premise and the callback you use i'm like i don't want you to break down comedy motherfucker i want

you to laugh but also the black community in a black comedy club you have the joke haters yeah the motherfuckers just angry for anything and joke haters they always like ventriloquist joke haters laugh like this you know you'll say some funny shit they like you good you good you was funny but you wasn't funny funny funny funny but white people white people when they like you they fucking get on the yelp reports yeah they're the only people that do the comment cards. If you look at a comment card at any comedy club, there's never going to be a Steinberg. I mean, there's never going to be a Johnson or Smith. Fuck that comedy club.

White people are like, oh, my God, who is my favorite? They leave comments, and they always sign up for the email list. They always, white people are everybody's guest book son when the show is over it was like um i noticed you didn't mention anything about your guest book is there a place where i can sign up for your newsletter black people just like how did you know about the told me who told you about the show the streets nigga the streets do you miss when you see um do you like sometimes what i miss like old school black guys like now it seemed like a lot of the black guys are like a little softer like a little bit like i saw a black guy with glasses the other day like you'll see it's nothing wrong with yo that's so disrespectful sir it's nothing wrong with the glasses everybody at some

point like probably wear glasses now the disrespectful motherfuckers, they always got to let you. They think it's a level of intellect when they just keep pushing it up. Oh, yeah. I hate the ones that enforce a plan. Let me tell you something. Yeah. Those people in glasses. But you shouldn't.

Just because a black person wears glasses, I don't think you should form any other opinion about them because of that. Motherfuckers got to read, bro. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I'm this real fuck. I feel like it seemed like there was just different black kids when I was growing up than there are now. You know, like they had a black guy the other day with asthma that I met, and that shit fucking. Yo, every black person I knew growing up had asthma.

Oh, really? Yo, when you're living in projects with metal lead pipes and shit, you're going to have some respiratory issues, son. You know what I'm saying? Go to Cleveland. Lead pipe. Anywhere in New York, lead pipe shit, you're going to have asthma, son. Yo, when your parents are smoking Newports in the bathroom, son, you're going to have an asthma bump, son. That's some shit that just happens, son.

You wasn't no real nigga if you didn't have asthma when I grew up son damn yo you ain't got asthma you can't hang with us son

oh nah asthma have an ass motherfucker where your asthma at you better have some asthma

around this bitch son dude we had a girl named asthma wilson too in our junior high um what about

asthma yeah but white people have allergies yeah hold on I'm not a i'm not a fucking black guy who said he was feeling dizzy bro and that shit fucking yo i'm telling you man they have allergies why you're an allergist and they let the allergies be known i can't get on a flight now without some white person stopping me from getting that tits a bag of peanuts man

get a motherfucking train bro you know i'm saying hey guys hey 300 people um michael michael's michael herbenwich i'm just trying to give up a whitest day has an allergy problem to peanuts so now nobody can have peanuts get the fuck out of here with them fuck that man but what about this though you uh do um when i was young like now they have more it seemed like black disease like when i was young they had diabetes was popular that's still strong and blood pressure right that's still strong and whatever pressure right that's still strong and whatever but now there's other stuff you know it's like other you know there's a black guy chicken pox i remember the other day that's motherfucking what is that in vietnam yeah

chicken pot they got vaccinations yo you should yo you don't live you get chicken pox and in the united states uh yo yo yo your health not up. So that shit is only supposed to be in Africa and motherfucking Haiti and Thailand. So you should not be able to get chicken pox in America. But I'm just saying black people are getting like weak diseases that used to be only white people would get. It seems like that's something, you know. The only black disease I know is going to always stand this test of time is the itis. Yeah. You know, I think every black person I've ever went to school with or grew up with all had the itis.

What is it? The itis is... Like autism? No, itis is something like, I don't know, like in the black community where, okay, let's say you eat a lot of food, you get tired, want to take a nap. Oh, yeah. You know what I'm saying? And white people have a name for it during thanksgiving it's something that's released in turkey tryptophan tryptophan tryptophan see and a white guy knew the answer to that right it was a

black dude was like no i don't know what you said you know but that's one disease that's very very very strong in black community and it's never going to be a cure for what relax the itis the itis yeah when you get the it No, like when you eat a lot and then you feel, oh man, I got to lay down, I got to get the itis. Yeah. And you usually get it from stuff like

steaks, cheeseburger, ribs. Ribs. If you eat ribs, it's like you inducing it. You making it happen to yourself. Yeah.

But black people have had the itis for years and will probably continue to have the itis. And I know that Reverend Al Sharpton is at a point in his life, he's a vegan right now so he don't really yeah he's what is that how do y'all treat that that seems not like a black thing in the black community we think i know this is so fucked up if you're vegan we think you're gay at the same time you

know i'm saying and i'm like and look man i feel you and i can be like just changing your diet yeah you could be black people are so homophobic, like changing your diet could cost them a lot. You know what I'm saying? Go to like a hamburger spot with a black dude and you order your cheeseburger with like Swiss cheese or cottage cheese. They'll be on the phone. Cottage cheese. They'll be on the phone. Oh, not cottage cheese, Swiss cheese.

Black people order the craziest burger. Crumble or blue cheese. If you order blue cheese, if you order blue cheese if you order blue cheese around a burger That's a gateway drug to dick. They'll be on the that's a gateway. They'll be on the phone like

yo this motherfucker changed son. I just caught this motherfucker eating with a burger with blue cheese. Not that he chose a better cheese but I caught him eating. You know what I'm saying?

You don't put mayonnaise on your burger. You're just going to be some issues son. And you don't got to answer to me you got to answer to the streets. Is that the life you want? If that's how,

that's the perception you want people to have of you? That you eat burgers with Swiss cheese and cottage cheese and crumbles and shit like that? Man, it's gross, bro.

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Go to HairClub.com slash T-H-E-O for a free hair analysis and free hair kit. HairClub.com slash Theo. Experience your hair and your life at its best. Yeah, man. I think I could be... thought i think if i was if you were if you're mixed is it better to have a black mom or a white mom and a or a black dad or white dad like what's the ideal that's the tough one because i that's the tough one because i have friends that are on both sides of the mixed ecology okay you know i'm saying i just think um i think the the dopest thing because

when you're like when you're when you're a mixed kid like people automatically like you're black yeah you know i'm saying i gave you that but i dated i dated this this chick and she was biracial her mom was white and her dad was black you know and then one thing i respected about her is that she respected um uh both sides of her family you know it wasn't just just like black that she understood you know i mean she she understood that she was black she understood that she was white you know we would go out her white side would make sure we were always on time oh yeah yeah you know i'm saying like we were we were uh always ahead of everybody and that's when i

connected with her white side but at the same time the black side of her we would be early but we wouldn't have a home a housewoman gift yeah you know i'm saying we were just you know i mean but she she got us parked out front yeah we just parked out front but i think man that that that's a tough one i just think like in the case of you have uh parents with two different backgrounds it's's good to represent both sides of your family. Both sides. Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting, man. Yeah, I think sometimes there's always like, yeah, I always felt like I wanted to maybe, I don't know if I wanted to be black, but I felt like I just, I don't know,

sometimes I wanted to relate to some of those kids, you know. They just seemed like they were having more fun. They seemed braver than me when I was young, like some of the black guys that i knew how was it did you did you i know you were locked up for only like four hours yeah but did you did you meet any black friends in there oh i wouldn't say friends they had a couple of dudes there's one black dude uh dress everybody called him dress and it was short he was a transvestite i don't i think they called him dress to kill but it might have been i thought he wore a dress no they call him dressed and he he looked like the kind of dude that was just gonna fuck everybody but only around the holidays you know he seemed like all year he stayed that's a christmas gift

that's what you call it he seemed like he seemed like something that just came like his dick was hibernating all year and then it did you did you get a gangster name while you were locked up like thug life theo or anything like that? Nuh-uh. Some of the Latinos, bro. I'll tell you who's scary in there these days. The Latinos, bro. Oh, yeah.

Latinos. Because Latinos, they- Black dudes were trying to look Mexican, bro. They had black dudes in there trying to lighten their skin. They was trying to look Mexican. What they had on? Depot outfit? They did have the orange outfit.

That is looking Mexican. Nah, black people don't fuck with Latinos, man. What is that? Are you guys scared of Latinos, dude? Be honest. Yeah, I'll say like those M32s or M15s. I don't know what number it is. Yeah.

But like when I was growing up between D.C. and Alexandria, Virginia, the El Salvadorian community was coming in strong. Really? I think it was part of some civil rights. I mean, some civil war, and they were coming here for asylum. But for some reason, they just migrated in this one area. And we didn't know the difference. It was only blacks and whites. Yeah.

So anything I said, we called them the foreigners. Yeah. And black people, I ain't going to front. They were scared of them because they came over in this country. They didn't have guns. They didn't have a sword. They had machetes, machete. Yeah.

And when you start seeing trails of thumbs and fingers damn people not shooting shooting is one thing shooting is one thing that ain't gangster anybody can shoot somebody but when you actually have a piece of metal yeah and you put in somebody look at their face and twist it that was scared as shit out of anybody black people don't mess with the m13s and russians bro russians are crazy bro yeah what is it about them they don't have any i think it was rocky man a rocky movie got us upset man it wasn't a movie russians don't have dude i heard some uh a friend of mine told me that when they were kids in russia the girls would have dolls made out of stone imagine that and you never

seem to be quite honest you don't russians, you've never seen a Russian cry on any situation. They just got that hard, that rock exterior, man. People stay away from that, man. White people not messing with no Russians, and they're not messing with no Salvadorians. Them M13s, no disrespect to the number. I forget what number it is. M32. Yeah, I don't know what it is.

Something. Donald Trump. MS-13. MS-13. White people know them. White people know the 13. No, we have a chart at home of who to, yeah. What number not to mess with?

Well, it says, like, you know, they have that, like, fire chart where it's like, today's fire warning is yellow, you know? We have that. Like, today's racial warning is, and then it's whoever we're supposed to be aware of. I need to get that because I'm afraid of certain people myself. Dude, what about Asian people? When I see, like, how do black and Asian people relate to each other? Because I have no concept of that,

you know? Well, black and Asian people get along as long as it's not a situation where a black person's going to the grocery store because it doesn't really matter how much of a friend you are

to an Asian person. No, no, they're going to follow you. Oh. They'll follow you. Asians will? Yeah, they'll follow you. They'll follow you. Oh, in the grocery store?

Yeah, in the grocery store. But also, all those movies where the black guys come in and shoot up the grocery store probably has a lot of those asian counter people skating i don't know those movies yeah really i don't know they just come and shoot up the grocery store what movie is that yeah i think you just made it up bro it might be the news it might be the situation with asians me being prior military and stationed in Korea. Oh, yeah. You have such a different perception.

What Asians hate about Western civilization the most is having no respect for elders. You know what I'm saying? When I was stationed in Korea in the Air Force, that's one thing. It didn't matter what your financial status was or whatever. You had a certain level of respect just because that person was older than you. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? No matter where you're from or whatever.

And then when they come over here and then they see, like, and this is not just for black people or any kid. Just America. Just America. And they see you being disrespectful to elders. I think they can't really connect with that. Yeah. elders i think they can't really they can't really connect with that yeah because i have some really cool um korean friends that because they know that my my background in the asian community in korea they know that i understand things that upset them there i got love yeah yeah that's

interesting yeah because i guess one thing that i never one thing you never learn about is just how like different all all i kind of knew growing up was just like how like black and white people kind of relating to each other like we didn't have enough diversity and you never hear about that like i never know how like blacks and latinos relate to each other or you know or how asian people do but i think this would be how it should be how we should relate to stuff at the end of the day no matter what your color is no matter what your sexual preference is you got good people and bad people yeah you know i'm saying and like yeah that's true you know i mean it's as much as divided as our country our country is it's not

like that everywhere i agree i'm saying you and i we're good friends you know we see each other in the club whatever sometimes we have differences i love talking to you though there's some other stuff but at the end of the day at the end of the day we have respect for each other yeah you know i'm saying like i don't even with our past election you know i'm saying some people i don't ever understand how people get upset because somebody chose to vote for whoever they chose to vote for yeah you know i'm saying that's your choice but this past election was interesting because a lot of people were upset during this election black people were upset asian people upset gay people were upset but white people were really upset yeah and the difference with white people anger black people anger was black people anger was protests of

black lives matter and white people was like okay we'll see about that in the morning they pull their pants up put their pants up and they went to the polls yeah i'm saying and anytime you see a white person do like this yeah yeah yeah i don't care if it's politics or whatever it's gonna be some change yeah i'm telling you if a white person's like yeah it's about to be some change you better exercise your right to vote and you make the change son you know what that is. That shit is hilarious. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But do black people low-key, you guys have got to love Donald Trump because he has like a hot wife. Let me tell you.

He's like a – Let me tell you. Part of his – He'd be in a rap video, it seems like. This is what people don't understand about the whole Donald Trump thing. Black people used to love Donald Trump. Yeah. In the 90ss almost every rapper

when you was connected something with a lifestyle yeah like playboy baddest bitches queens women no disrespect don't meet to me on that yeah well you know you're the lifestyle they wanted right the baddest chicks the baddest car the baddest house the money yachts and everything. That's what everybody was rapping about. And who had that type of shit? Donald Trump. Donald Trump did. You know what I'm saying? Donald Trump would do cameos in videos and everything.

But that's the Donald Trump that they knew. Not so much he cared about black people, but he was a fun guy, party, turn up. And it wasn't until even when Donald Trump was on The Apprentice, they saw a shark. Somebody was hungry. They saw somebody was successful. They admired that. They admired that. But it wasn't until the ugliness came.

Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It wasn't until the ugliness came that people started switching him. Not just black people but other people yeah well then here's the people turned off by him by his attitude but here's the thing donald trump totes the economy yeah there's the unemployment black job rate and everything he he he um he totes how well the economy is doing. And on my Instagram, I posted something. Someone said, well, the last time I checked, the economy was doing well. And my answer to that person was, don't confuse economy with humanity.

Right. And it's hard to cheer and root for somebody with the success he's having when you create such a diverse situation. You motherfuckers want to be happy. Yeah, but we want to be happy for the kind but at the same time you shitting on um john mccain you shitting on right war heroes he's not a good he's not a he does not yeah he makes you as a person you don't it's hard to really it's hard and then what you're gonna say people are always like jobs jobs jobs first of all i don't subscribe to the notion that there aren't jobs in America.

I agree. If it wasn't jobs in America, you wouldn't have motherfuckers over here swimming, being on rafts and everything to get these jobs. The whole thing is Americans are selective on the jobs they want. You know what I'm saying? You can get a job. You know what I'm saying? Now, it might not be the job that you want, but you can get a job. Not being able to get a job in America is bullshit.

You're lying. I agree. You know what I'm saying? And in certain communities, a job wouldn't even make it. Yeah. Like in the hood, a job could walk in the hood, shake a motherfucker's bed, and be like, who is this? I'm a job.

And the mother would wake up and be like this, man, what the fuck are you doing in here, bro? Ain't nobody looking for you, man. Go down to Home Depot. They're looking for you down there, man. I thought you was the weed doing it, it's that's what they need inspiration they need humanity they need the flip side of okay now everybody's like we got jobs we got jobs now people gonna look for you know i'm saying you got jobs and i'm saying me personally some people just

mad at a party right i'm not mad i'm not mad at i'm not like that i'm not mad i'm not mad at him i'm not like that i'm not mad i i i would have no issue with a republican president that had some more of a moderate yeah you know i'm saying someone that understood because i'm better so humanity he doesn't he doesn't understand people he doesn't yeah he does not have a comfortable tone with people he doesn't because he's probably never he probably was never really cared about much growing up like in a way where he felt it you know he never felt what someone else is going through like right like even with this stuff with the uh with these the campfire in la whatever you know i'm saying when people are losing yeah he said crazy you can't say some of that stuff you can't and that's and then he says it yeah and then people gravitate toward that and it's so fucked up because i know

friends that have friends that voted for donald trump and they said as much as i still want to be friends with them it's just hard for me to connect with somebody that like loves someone with that energy yeah you know i'm saying and it doesn't it doesn't have to be that way yeah he was a phenomenon yeah the same way uh barack obama was he was a phenomenon you know i'm saying but the first thing to me is like when when when obama was office, he took his lumps. He wasn't like, Bush this, Bush that, Bush this. Okay, I got it from here. I'll take it from here.

Yo, Trump, you won. Don't be a sore loser. Why do you have to, like they say in the hood, keep my name out your mouth. Why do you got to keep on trying to knock? Yeah, he does a lot of that, man. If you think about it, Obama's campaign slogan and Trump's campaign slogan meant the same thing. If you think about it, when Obama was running, he could have ran on the slogan of make America great again. Yeah. You know what I mean?

His definition would have probably been a lot better than Donald Trump's. Right. That's right. Either one could have had either one. Either one. And Donald Trump could have had change. And both of them were like, both of them was like just these candidates that they needed something different. Yeah.

People like Donald Trump. Wanted something different. Donald Trump's base felt like they needed something different. You know what I'm saying? When the transition from Bush to Obama, it didn't matter who the fuck became president they needed some type of difference so both of them they was the they was the rock stars you know and as much as the moment there was rock stars the moment and then black people get upset like just look at like this you lived in a life at a lifetime where you saw a black president and not just a black president you saw a good guy you

saw a good president and you you saw black president you saw a good guy you saw a good president and you you saw a president you felt cared about everything and everybody right that's it that's interesting yeah you definitely feel yeah with with obama you felt like he cared you know like i voted for obama twice you know and like uh and you felt like he cared right you know uh one of my friends he was a ceo of this of this this uh tech company silicon, he was a CEO of this tech company, Silicon Valley. He was like, and this black guy, he said, Don, first off, you know, there's no reason. He's like, Hillary was a flawed candidate. She was flawed.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. She was flawed. And people hated her so much that it showed love toward and in favor of Donald Trump. But this is another thing too and this is so important and you saw the change with the midterms and everything is that people have to understand the importance of voting and like making oh i agree i'm gonna tell you something one thing as much as as hillary called them deplorables and people talk about these rednecks

and these motherfuckers these red states whatever one thing and this is no disrespect like somebody that's trailer trash trailer park type stuff if one thing they don't they always want exercise is their right to vote they don't have to have teeth they don't have to have jobs they don't have to have anything in life but they're going to exercise their right to vote but don't that's how you do change yeah but don't you think like i feel like sometimes like people are somehow they've got us all tricked in some ways these parties because you know black people have voted democrat for a long time right poor white poor black people have voted democrat for a long time poor white people have voted republican for a long time but it's like how long do we keep voting those ways well then we're and

we're and we're still in the same trough yeah but the thing is that you're going to vote for whatever party well that's hard it's hard crossover to get it's hard crossover to get for most black community to even think on republic side i do understand that but it's going to be somebody that has your similar views and your and your ideas yeah because even on the um a republican side um jeb bush yeah i was a fan of his and the reason why i was a fan of his because i understand that he was from the bush family but he felt like the mama's boy right you know i'm saying he felt like the he felt like the bush that would have had heart enough to say this is wrong this is wrong

between these people you know i'm I'm saying? He's the one that I would say would probably be a Republican that shifts closer to the moderate side of anything. You know what I'm saying? I was a fan of his. But being the president now, it's not all about who you think in heart. It's the charisma. It's the charm. And how do you pop?

And he couldn't pop. It's turning in the WWE a little bit. Do you feel that? Do you feel like everything's kind of turning into the wrestling yeah it's on it's unfortunate and what what it's it's like like everything now it's really like a reality show it's really like like knowing how to manipulate the media right you know i'm saying you know how to manipulate the media you could win at anything and this was proven with donald trump being president was he the best candidate was best president for the job not so much yeah but he knew how to work the media he knew how to work the system that they built he knew how to get motherfuckers compared to um america idol how do

you get people like yo text so and so for your winner he knew how to make people um he knew how to excite them he knew how to make people move and go do something that's why he won but in some ways isn't it didn't you feel a little bit after you got elected like holy shit man i could be president did you feel that for a second like fuck anybody could be president yeah but i i um i really felt i really felt more of that when um obama was president yeah because that was the one i could see that that's the one excuse black people they they was holding on to you could say anything yeah so and so yeah but ain't gonna never be no black doctors we got more black doctors it ain't gonna be no black astronauts we got black astronauts they do yeah we got we got black everything this was the only thing yeah that we didn't have you know i'm saying

so for all the black people to make excuses when ob Obama got elected, it's like he proved that there's no more excuses. And even when Obama, I know this has nothing to do with comedy. Even when Obama, I went to, all black people wasn't happy about Obama. I even went to a barbershop one time, and this brother, they was talking, he was like, I don't fuck with Obama. I was like, he was like, what if, he said, what is Barack Obama done for black people? And I looked at him, I said, he won, motherfucker. You know what I'm saying? Was he going to be a great president?

Nobody knew about that. I don't think anybody can be a great president. Yeah, but the fact that he won shows you that. It was inspiring. It's inspiring. But the trick of that was like, every black person thought they could be president. Right. There's a dude like this, yo, Obama black, I'm black.

He played basketball, I played basketball. You know, I could do i could do that shit no you still gotta stay out of trouble you still gotta have an education yeah and you still gotta be a dope citizen you can't just like because i'm black you can do it so yeah that excitement was gone sometimes i think the but to me and this is just a perception of mine and i and i could this could be ignorance too it seems to me that or sometimes i think or or i feel that um yeah that the that the black some of the black community like there is a ton of opportunity um these days and some of the things the only thing that i feel like holds some black people back is just their lack of desire in some places that's not just because that's what anybody right anybody and i think why do

you think i see that why do you think i fee i feel or see that more or as a white person or why do you think because um and i'm not accusing you or anything i'm just thinking about this you probably not around enough black people that don't make excuses right you know i'm saying if you limit yourselves to a couple of people a handful of people you don't see the example and i grew up in the south and there wasn't when there's no opportunity of course like the south is a different animal a little bit because there's decades and generations i'm gonna start i'm gonna start believing like there are no look here's the thing you have two excuses yeah you have a good excuse and a bad excuse and the internet is still excuses as a comic you know i'm saying you could have a show

like at night and say you got sure at 12 o'clock. You just found out one of your aunts or your uncles or whatever just passed away. Right. You got a good excuse not to go to that show. You know what? I'm not feeling right. That's my excuse. It's still an excuse. And you got a bad excuse not to go to a show.

You know what I'm saying? Oh, man, I got a cold or something. Something stupid. You know what I mean? But at the end of the day, it's still excuses. I got a cold or something. Something stupid. You know what I mean? But at the end of the day, it's still excuses.

So as much as, not just black people, just for anybody, stop making excuses. Yeah. It's so easy to make excuses. What you going to do? What you going to do? And that goes, I relate that to comedy. You see, you've been in the game for a long time. You see motherfuckers trying to get stage time and stuff, and they'll say, oh, yeah,

but they don't really like me in that club. They don't really mess with women and then you ask that same comic where do you perform i perform uh just one club is over mic and you say how did you do oh my set was okay no motherfucker that ain't enough yeah you know i'm saying and i tell this to all young comics with you know any any doors you want open it's going to come through the microphone yeah when you ripping when you're not just 50 50 i'm talking about when you're demolishing everywhere you can't be denied yeah you know i'm saying don't make excuses make yourself undeniable you know i mean okay i don't do five spots a week i do two but when you do those two spots kill kill them. And those two spots

will turn into three spots and five spots. I even use myself as an example with me in the comedy scene in California. I came up as a New York comic. When I first came here, people knew me

from the Chappelle show. Right. A lot of people didn't know me as a stand-up, and a lot of clubs didn't know. Oh, he's a funny dude on TV, but whatever. And I used to drive down

Sunset, Hollywood, and I used to see the names up there on the marquee. Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop. And I'm looking at those names, and I'm not disrespecting them. I'm like this. I'm on that level. Right. I should be there.

I'm not. I'm not making excuses. I'm not going to say, fuck that. I don't want to go through the work to get there. And gradually, I told myself, I want to be, when I'm in town, I want to be on every marquee. That's a test of who's popping in the city. And it might not mean a lot to a lot of people, but for me, when I can drive down Sunset and I see I'm on a marquee at the store, go to the Laugh Factory, I see I'm on a marquee at the Laugh Factory. Go to the Improv, I see I'm at the marquee at the Improv.

Go to Ha Ha's, which is a club a lot of people don't fuck with this place yeah it's a great place to work but when you see that you feel accomplished and you feel accomplished and you say yourself i didn't make excuses and i did with it a couple times like oh they don't want to they don't want to let me on and they let that motherfucker on right you just take your lumps come back the next day and you build your shit yeah and the reason i'm saying is like in life period there are literally there's no more excuses that's true if you're going to do it you're not going to do it yeah and you look around as we got too many examples i mean i feel we got examples of people that we don't necessarily agree with uh like say as from stand-up but you got now we're in a we're in an age where you could make yourself the shit on your phone. Yeah.

In front of your computer. It's not the time when I came up with three or four networks. Right. You need your own network. So you definitely, you got people that, 6ix9ine's a perfect example. Yeah. They wasn't trying to fuck with him. The energy wasn't trying to fuck with him.

He said, I'm going to fuck with myself. I don't need y'all for anything. Yeah, that's a great statement. I'm going to fuck with myself. Yeah, I'm going to fuck with him he said i'm gonna fuck with myself i don't need y'all for anything yeah that's a great statement i'm gonna fuck with myself yeah i'm gonna fuck myself and i can make it happen you know yeah i had a manager before i don't have a manager right now and i had a manager and i remember one time i had this thing i was trying to do when i was traveling on the road and i was having uh and i was like i want to shoot it and put it on youtube and he's like well let's put it together and go out and shop it around right so then we did that for like a year and nobody you know it was back and forth but in the meantime in that year i didn't you know i did

it some but i was waiting now more for these networks to decide if i was gonna have an opportunity whereas if i would have just been making it the whole time that's it would have been huge and it would have been something at the finish line whereas instead i let them decide okay the finish line is now and we don't want to. You build your own thing. I'll give you two great examples of that. Bill Burr, Kevin Hart. When we were doing Chappelle's show at the time, Bill Burr was bubbling. Bill Burr was bubbling. He wasn't.

Damn, say that 10 times fast, huh? No, the reason why I'm saying that is because it's no disrespect. He was bubbling. You saw him in the club. You was like, you go see certain clubs and like this this motherfucker's gonna blow this motherfucker's gonna blow but he didn't have the the tv and all that but you know it was coming right and we were doing chapelle show we were making money spell show but not a lot of money we needed a tour i came up with the idea of doing i'm rich bitch tour yeah you know i'm saying and the rich bitch

tour the the two draws at the time with me and charlie and i could have ran with that i could have went for somebody local but i said nah bill burr is an animal let's not just do a show people coming for the novelty of the show yeah let's give them a show where this show is fire from beginning to the end and that's what we had on rich bitch tour i think this is the first time bill burr was we ran this shit for like a year and a half. Charlie Murphy would MC. Bill Burr, you know this is funny, Bill Burr was a feature. Wow.

And I was headlining. And I'm telling you, you know, you're talking about no excuses. Imagine going on every night for a year behind Bill Burr. Fuck that. There was no day you could take off yeah you didn't have a you go out and party get all fucked up you got a hangover the next day guess what's gonna happen and this happened to me a couple times like yeah he was funny with that white boy you know what i'm saying and the point i'm making is he knew his future future gonna

because me and charlie was on i'm rich with charlie mcfay all that shit it was just it was pandemonium but bill burr was the one with the comment cards. You know what I'm saying? Filling them out. The emails. I'm like, yo, you worrying about that email shit? People are going to be coming to see us forever. He was the dude that was doing the email card.

And he started building that base. He started building that base. And then when you start building that base, people start riding with you. And then you win Comedian of the Year in the Montreal Comedy Festival. You're going to build to that point. He knew what he wanted early on. A lot of people don't. Kevin Hart, as much as people want to talk shit about Kevin Hart, Kevin Hart was the same situation.

Kevin Hart was always down with whatever the newest thing was, was MySpace, Twitter. I remember Kevin Hart had 60,000 followers on Twitter. And he was trying to be like, yo, I can get you some followers. Now that dude's out of, he's just on another level. He's a rock star. But he planted that. And like you were saying about waiting for the networks, they didn't wait. Those people didn't wait.

So by the time the networks got caught up to them. They was already. They was already ready. They was already ready. You know what I'm saying? And that's what you said is important. You know what I'm saying? But like a lot of times in this business, we want to swing for the gate all the time yeah

sometime a base hit is good yeah sometime a bun is good but you got to know that yeah and that's what separates to different people now you look at bill burr i look at bill burr 13 years ago best he was um he he was uh opening on our show and now this is doing doing madison square garden and this is another thing how stuff's supposed to inspire you i see that i know how funny i know how funny he is and but it gives you a sense of know that you're from a place where it could happen right you know i'm saying you look at bill burry he's like this dude we were doing the same club it could happen who's going to put the work in right you know do you where do you get some of your own work ethic

man because it's really interesting because especially you were like, I mean, I'm you know, you're a little bit older than me. I'm 38, you know, but when I was growing up, the like they didn't have like, you know, they had, you know, our town was maybe, you know, my environment was probably like half black and half white kids. And a lot of them didn't have like a lot of, you know, leadership or direction. They probably didn't have a lot of, you know, role models and stuff, you know, and I knew that because I didn't have a lot of it. So I would spend time around a lot of those kids. So where did you get, and a lot of them were done with school at seventh grade or eighth grade.

I mean, done, you know, 70% of the black kids in our school were gone at eighth grade. You know, I think in the South, it was just, you just you know it's just a different it was a different place and this is you know 20 years ago 25 years ago but where did you get like what kind of kept you in a different lane to have you know at least some of the you know mental capacity you know that you had when you were young do you think well my my mom my mom was a very, very loving mom. My dad was a guy that was in and out of jail. You know, my dad was a, he was a heroin kingpin in D.C. And black people always loved the fact that they could tell what level your dad got to.

He was big time and he chose a lifestyle where he didn't get a lot of chances to spend with his kids like he wanted. But my always instilled um love yeah she she was on us she wasn't like upset that she was raising us pretty much by herself she never made excuses she spent time with us at the end at the end of the day it's still to the time that your parents spend with the kids if you see any kid that's like kind of out of line and crazy whatever you know it might be cases where it's not that way you could break it down yeah you could break down like oh i see why mom always had a babysitter yeah mom always in the club you know he always saw mom come home with the just got smashed outfit and stuff like that i contribute i contribute you know the kids know yeah no i know kids or kids feel something yeah i contribute contribute a lot of that and i don't know if it's work ethics as much as just thought on life.

You know what I'm saying? My mom always used to say, you know, we don't have life, but it always can be, you know, it's a lot of people that's doing a lot worse. And if you work hard enough, you can do better. You know, but I just think that my mom just created the type of love and the environment that I only wanted to do well. And I cared about what she thought. And i only wanted to do well and i and i cared about what she thought and i always wanted to make my mother proud yeah some people don't give a

fuck about what their parents think about them i wanted to make my mother proud and even my father was locked up a lot of my life i wanted to make him proud yeah i wanted him to be proud of the fact that i'm creating a lifestyle and doing something i love to do and i'm not in prison i'm not doing something that could jeopardize my freedom. And a lot of it comes from just wanting to do better and just wanting to be great. Even when I started comedy, I never thought about money or anything. All I wanted to do was be the baddest motherfucker.

And at the end of the day, if you're the baddest motherfucker, the money will catch you with that. Yeah. Dang, man, you got me fucking feeling all emotional and shit man dude why do white people feel more emotional at like black movies that are like triumphant they don't feel more emotional everybody they do man no they just know that white people will express their emotions a lot faster than black people you know i'm saying black people we're so afraid of being hurt or what's somebody gonna think you're like you're like you're in a

black neighborhood and a black community growing up. The first thing you tell a kid, don't cry. Don't cry. Right. Oh, yes. Your son got a broken leg. Don't cry. Don't cry.

Shake it off. You know what I'm saying? Your son got hit by two cars. Yeah, yeah. Don't cry. Shake that shit off. Don't cry. Damn, that's a good point, bro.

I can remember seeing that so many times as a kid yeah like don't cry white white fucks be like all right let's talk about it timmy is everything okay yeah you know i'm saying like you just we just i don't know where it comes from but we just built to be tough about everything you know yeah you don't get in our feelings son yeah don't get in our feelings you know and if you're getting your feelings you go smack somebody like yo i'm with i almost cried smack you son yeah i'm good shmoney tradeway all day son dang man that's exciting bro that's exciting man what else can we talk about we had a question that came in that came in for donnell we're gonna play it is it in headphones or is it video it'll be in headphones okay man i wish i was on that tour

dude it'd be fun one day if i got to go on this the road with you man that'd be crazy we could come up with something i wanted i really would love to do a sitcom or something man or something write it let's write it we could bro if we took it in we could do it no we could not only do it we could fuck it up because um things are about to switch you know you have people just getting opportunities i'm not saying they're not deserving of them, but they just ain't putting it in. Get your shot. When we get your shot, hit a three. Hit a dunk.

I think we could do it. Yeah. Hey, from Houston, Texas. I just want to call in for Donnell Duck. I just want to say it's fucked up. I have a joke on you on the breakfast club. Like, it be making me feel bad. I just want to say it's fucked up having Joe call you on the breakfast club like it be making me feel bad

and like I'm like goddamn why they gotta do my boy like that but it be funny as fuck but see here's the thing who is this dude he just got black or white first of all

he watching he listen to the black breakfast club he's black okay no not that so he's no it's so funny you say that because wherever i go now

people are always like they say the same thing why you let the breakfast club fuck with you like the breakfast club don't fuck me like that they can't fuck with me like that but who people cheer for me you know even you know they cheer 100 you don't say they cheer for me so as much as as much as as much as they fuck with me i know the funny funny storyline don't fuck with me and me spoiling it. You're seeing the bigger storyline of it. I see the bigger picture. Yeah. And I used to have issues with Charlamagne.

He used to try to, oh, he's not funny, blah, blah, blah, blah, until he came to Madison Square Garden, and I opened for Dave Chappelle. And he saw me open for Dave Chappelle, and I caught a standing O from the 6,500 people. I stood up the whole, not Madison Square Garden, Radio City Music Hall, and I couldn't wait to do the next interview with him on The Breakfast Club. Yeah. And he was like, yo, not for nothing, Donnell, you and Charlamagne, I mean, you and him, I was like, where you been?

You know what I'm saying? And I could have been mad at Charlamagne and the whole relationship. I could have been like, fuck you, I'm not funny. I was like, nope. Wait till you come in my arena. Right. And then that's going to speak for itself. See what I do.

Yeah. I'm funny. I was like, nope. Wait until you come in my arena. Right. And then that's going to speak for itself. See what I do. Yeah. But I appreciate what you just said.

I know there's people that's team Donnell, and they like what I'm doing. So I'm always going to be the fourth member of that show, and I'm always going to have fun with them. At the end of the day, that's my family. I've got love and respect for all of them. But we're here to make comedy and make entertainment. Is it fun to go in there and go on Breakfast Club? Is it intimidating in that environment? You don't get intimidated.

It doesn't seem like a lot of time. No, it's not. It's easy for me because I used to do morning radio. Oh, wow. So I had a background. I did morning radio with Envy. I do morning radio. And it's weird.

When I come on here, sometimes after I get off the show, I'm like, oh, I didn't promote this. I didn't promote that. But when I'm up there, it's almost like I'm a part of the show. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I could really get off the show i'm like what i didn't promote this i didn't promote that but when i'm up there it's almost like i'm a part of the show yeah you know i'm saying i could really be on the show right it fits in yeah i don't they don't it's not like you're a guest it's like you just kind of fit in i fit in like when i go in there like people could you know like some people get sensitive he's not asking that question but i can navigate that conversation any any way i want to but i i miss doing radio and they have respect

for me and i go in there and i just i think i'm the most interviewed guest on that show that's that's amazing yeah this is a lot and it's and it's tough because i had to go through people you know the trolls like damn y'all can't get no more guests how many times this month i'll be on on the show but then i you know i'm yeah where's Mike Epps at? Yeah, I was sensitive. But then I just let it ride, ride. And what people started to say was, like, he brings a different energy to the show. And when he's on the show, he's always funny. So I could be on that motherfucker every other week.

As long as I represent and be funny, that's it. Yeah. Does Charlamagne have a big, like, does he seem like he has a big ego? Or is he a chill dude? I never met the man I love their show though I'll watch it Nah he doesn't

He doesn't have a big ego Ego Ego sorry about that You know but you know You get a certain swag Yeah yeah When you start getting a certain amount of success Yeah

You know what I mean More people love you The more people you can say I don't really give a fuck Yeah You know what I'm saying I don't think his ego more people you're going to say, I don't really give a fuck. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I don't think his ego is taking him.

It's more swag. Yes, it's more swag. And he's a person that doesn't bite his tongue. That's what people like about him. He don't bite his tongue. He's going to say how he feels. A lot of people don't agree with it. But he doesn't waver from who he is.

He doesn't back down. And that's why they like him. Yeah. And he can't fuck with me. He ain't no pound for pound. Really? Yeah. Not on a joke? What are you going. Really? Yeah. Not on a joke?

What are you going to do? No, not on a joke, no. But if you guys had to wrestle or something, would you do it? I'm of the age where I don't take chances on shit like that. Yeah. I learned my lesson. I tried to dunk on an eight-foot basketball rink two years ago. I popped my patella. And that's, anything physical is over.

If it's not treadmill Where I can jump in And jump off And I also have Two fights That were captured on TMZ That I didn't connect I didn't connect

So I don't want That three strap I'm just gonna stay away From that shit That's where you go Get the strap Get the goons And my goons

Usually have Jewish Last names now So we not gonna fight You in the street We see you in court Bitch These Israelites man No doubt.

It's definitely changed. Your mother's in town for the holidays? No, my family's on the East Coast. Yeah. Yeah, but I have extended my brother. One of my brothers, he's here, so I'm going to have Thanksgiving with him. Nice. Do you make your mom laugh?

Always. Yeah? I always make my mother laugh. And I make my mother laugh in some of the most painful moments. You know what I'm saying? Like, that's just what our family was. It's like, it could be a dark situation. Yeah.

You always have to find a place to laugh. I remember one of the things that pushed me in the direction of comedy, late at night when I was making my mother laugh, and she was like, boy, don't tell another joke unless you're going to make some money doing it. And that started me to think about it. And then I think shortly after that, I started doing it. Yeah. Yeah, it's nice when a kid can make their mom laugh. I think it makes them feel good, you know? Yeah.

If you can't make your mom laugh, then you might think of a different profession. Because your mother-in-law's laughing at everything. Your mother-in-law's laughing at people saying you're the most handsome person. You're supposed to be the best-looking person in your mom's face, in her eyes, in everything. Yo, yo, what type of – if you don't get support from your mom, your in her eyes and everything yo yo what type of if you don't get the support from your mom your shit is done son you about to buy that stockpile or you about to buy an assault rifle bro why does it seem like all tall black guys if they don't play ball they work at the airport is that a real thing or is that just my imagination that's your imagination

that is funny i don't know maybe they're. That is funny. I don't know. Maybe they're good at putting the bags up. I don't know what it is. Yeah, I don't know. That's fucked up because if you're 6'7 and you ain't playing basketball, you got to answer that question

for the rest of your life. For the rest of your life, you're 6'8. No. And then you got to start making up shit. I played in China and then I tore my ACL and then I just,

I got a job at the airport, son. Word. We'll have your, we'll put your tour dates and stuff at the front. Yes. So people will know about it. Yes, sir. Happy Thanksgiving, Donnell Rawlins. Happy Thanksgiving.

Good to see you, brother. Yeah, you too, man. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Like these leaves I must be cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones

But it's gonna take a little time For me to set that parking brake And let myself unwind shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my story

shine on me and I will find a song I will sing it just for you And I've been moving way too fast Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner. The answer may shock you. Sometimes I'll interview my friends. Sometimes I won't. And as always, I'll be joined by the

voices in my head. You have three new voice messages. A lot of people are talking about Kite Club. I've been talking about Kite Club for so long. Longer than anybody else. So great. Hi, sweetheart. Here's the deal. Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker. Charmaine.

I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry. Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken. Oh, no! I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me. Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club. Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club. Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

And yes, don't worry, my Brad Pitt impression will get better.