This Past Weekend - E394 Yannis Pappas

Starting point is 00:00:00 All right, I want to let you know that I got some tour dates coming up Savannah, Georgia June 2nd Augusta, Georgia June 3rd Montgomery, Alabama June 4 and Columbus, Georgia June 5 as well I'll be in Florida Hollywood Fort Myers Daytona Beach and Lakeland June 23rd through June 26th Today's guest is here for the first time. He's a comedian and he's an entertaining man and he is out of New York and you're gonna learn about him as I do. He and I've actually never met but he has a new special on YouTube called Mom Love and his own podcast called Long Days

Starting point is 00:00:47 I'm grateful to get to spend some time with him Uh, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Yanis Papas Just Yeah, you know what I've been realizing is uh, what's dicey to me is if they get those little sandwiches, you know the ones the um, the little man, uh, cut sandwiches Yeah You know what I'm saying? Like a hero cut up?

Starting point is 00:01:44 Oh, no, no, but more like just like the square ones and then somebody cuts it up like that. You know what I'm talking about Like the triangle pieces conceptually. I know I'm trying to picture it though So, yeah, it just has meat cheese man and mustard or mayonnaise in it. Yeah, it just like is a little triangle Yeah, you know, somebody gets that little round tray of a bunch of those little yes now. I got you. Yeah But then the weird part is when they start to sit there for a while and it gets hard on the side and some people still eat them Yeah That's why you gotta get to that plate early, but it's some guys prefer that's air damage Yes, some guys prefer to go into the tray

Starting point is 00:02:20 late in the game Yeah, that's not the way you gotta get there before the air damage Hardens it up. Yeah. Yeah, that is air damage, man. Yeah, there's a triangular. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about There's triangular ones. Are you talking about they come in like a plastic plate? You pull it off. Yes I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, and they get the top on it. Yeah. Um convenient way to throw a party Yeah, yeah, I think you don't gotta make sandwiches if you if you know, it's just Yeah, better that way. Yeah, I think having it like that is probably makes things. Uh Yeah, somebody cracks open a thing of those as a kid. I hate this. I was like, oh those things look like they're for adults or something

Starting point is 00:02:58 But as an adult, I'm like, I'll have a one or two of those. Yeah They're nice. Yeah, it's a perfect you can't go back. You can't go wrong with meat and cheese at an adult party Meat and cheese is always a hit salami and cheese. Yeah, that's always that's gonna go first Yeah, people aren't gonna touch the salad people aren't gonna touch If you got the carrots and the ranch out, those will be there tomorrow. The whole plate will be there But yeah, the salami and cheese is gone. Yeah. Yeah, it's the Beyonce of that spread It is really, man Um, is Yannis's mic in his face guys. Do you guys want it somewhere different? I always have mic problems. I apologize

Starting point is 00:03:35 Do you I do it's something like even on my own podcast or like Like I just can't I have no I might be challenged in that way like a learning disability with like where the mic is supposed to be Yeah, I think it does get to be like, um, I'm either too low too high. Yeah But you've been uh, you've been podcasting for a long time. Um, so a lot of my listeners might not even know you And you and I have just met we just met. Yeah. Yeah That's crazy. Yeah. Well, I know you, you know, yeah, yeah, I know you comedy But yeah, it's the first time we've been in the flesh. Yeah. Yeah, it feels good. It's interesting. Yeah, you got a cozy warm kind of vibe Yeah, energy. Oh, thanks. Yeah, I feel I feel right like in the womb. I'm I feel in a womb right now. You're good. Yeah

Starting point is 00:04:20 I like it man. Yeah. Yeah. Well, thanks for coming man So I want to just like kind of just so my listeners are like how you even got started like in the comedy To just take me through a little bit of that man because you are from another country From another country, are you from another country? I'm uh, america. Oh, yeah, I mean, yeah Are you from well, it would technically be right if you were from If you weren't from here, right and I would be from another country, but you know, were you born in another country? No I was born here. Oh, I thought you were born in another country

Starting point is 00:04:53 I dude, I look at you and I I say I can see why he would assume that because you're fucking american. Yeah, you're american american Like if there can be More of a way to be american. Yeah, it's on you. So I know just hearing my name. You're like, I guess he's from He must have been born in romany or something. I got an immigrant name Yeah, I would I mean, I don't know if I would I remember um I said to one of my friends yesterday. I was like, oh, uh, Yannis Papas is coming on and they're like, oh, I thought

Starting point is 00:05:24 um Oh, who's the they're like, oh that reminds me of that guy who has the other name that's kind of like a double Oh, um, who's the russian guy the older russian jewish comedian? Uh, uh, Zelensky. He's fighting a war right now Well, he's ukranian too same shit. He's doing cameos. Somebody said he's crazy. Yeah, I mean for 600 to raise money for ukraine That's crazy. That is crazy that he's got time Where do they have that guy that he's got a camera set up and I tell you one I don't know who his barber is but he's on call the dude is always crisp in the middle of a war

Starting point is 00:05:59 I mean, he's got like a fade every three days. Oh, yeah, he's like the dj. Khaled. I feel like of like bombings and Yeah, I think he just travels with his barber He's got a barber in the bomb shelter. He really values whoever cuts his hair And dude, will somebody win this fucking war already like Jesus What it feels like they just nobody will win it or they don't care or they taking days off It feels like they're like, hey, let's do it on tuesday. I'll meet you guys on friday We'll do another round on friday. It is hard to understand right because like If there's a war going on how is he safe to

Starting point is 00:06:36 Give talks and you know do a video zoom for the oscars and then biden goes there. He's walking around no problem I think Nancy Pelosi. Yeah was wheeled out there. So like where's the war? Yeah, I don't know what's happening. Yeah, and I don't know. I think it's like a I think they got to go to court like maybe johnny and amber to solve it figure it out Yeah, because I'm shitting who's bad son. Yeah, I feel like johnny is russia in the scenario And amber uh, no, i'm sorry johnny. Yeah, johnny's johnny's ukraine. I'm sorry and amber is russia and uh, no Yeah, who's the bad? There's only two ways to do it. I don't know. It's only two

Starting point is 00:07:13 The good guys are ukraine. I'm trying to depend on it depends on which side of the political I'll you I guess you fall on to consider who's the bad guy. Yeah, but I think Johnny. Yeah is ukraine johnny because he got invaded by amber So we need to figure out ways to funnel weapons to johnny. Yeah, that's what we got to do to help out johnny Yeah, I saw johnny death one night at the comedy store. It was pretty crazy That is a crazy sighting to see johnny because I went up and Doug stand up his friends with the introduction to him and then I realized I didn't know what to say and then I realized I didn't have anything to say to johnny death, right? That's almost the worst but like when you're like

Starting point is 00:07:51 Oh, there's not even there's not even a 30th degree of separation. You know, like There's nothing to even say here. It's like literally shook hands and then I had nothing. Yeah I it would kind it's kind of similar to meeting you because what I wanted to say I held it Maybe what you wanted to say you held it because you felt like he's he's over it Like I would have opened with a 21 jump street thing because that's my closest emotional tie to johnny Okay, was his hair back then with the earring. He kind of said that that my generation pull that picture of a johnny death 21 jump street. Let's get an image of that

Starting point is 00:08:25 I think he was like the that hairstyle with the earring was like every white guy in america did that middle part with the earring And so I would open with a 21 jump street like with you. I wrote rules, but I didn't want to say it I know you from road rules. I remember. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, and you're as big as I thought you were like tall You're a tall drink of water You know, it's really funny people say that I'm tall and I don't I don't I've always just been I mean, I've been this height for probably 21 years now and it's like Like I don't think anything. I never thought I was tall, but people constantly say that. Yeah, you're like, bro, you're taller than I thought So it's always mexicans who comment on it. I'm not gonna say that

Starting point is 00:09:04 But it's a lot of like, uh, latinos, you know, or recent americans Who are like, hey, bro, you're taller than I thought Recent american is a better way than to call mexican. It's a way to scoot around it Well, not even mexican But just I feel like if we're gonna be because people remember that people used to say illegal immigrants, right? Yeah, because I'll meet a lot of mexican guys. I'll be like, uh You know, where do you cover? How did you, you know, and they'd be like, uh, just don't tell anybody I'm here You don't say they all joke about it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know. Yeah, but it's like

Starting point is 00:09:38 So I think recent americans. Yeah, it at least gives both sides of the net likes a little bit of like Okay, they're new and then other people like, yeah, let's you know, you're running cover for them because you're not lying Right, but you're also not telling them. They may not have their papers. They're recent americans interpret that the way We got a couple recent americans here god, johnny depp was just man. Yeah. Oh, yeah He'd be a hot chicken now even he Yeah, if he went trans he would look good Some guys you can tell if they transition they would flawlessly transition. Usually they don't have the like the neanderthal brow That's a real impediment to like a smooth transition, but he got a real nice girl guy face. Oh, yeah

Starting point is 00:10:23 God, yeah, if he puts some makeup on and grew the hair a little longer. I don't even think he'd need estrogen Well, he's a handsome kid. He's handsome guy. Yeah, and he used to definitely be more I mean, look, he's getting older, you know, and I think he's partied pretty hard. He's probably gone pretty hard Yeah, yeah for a guy who did the amount of drugs. He did. Yeah, he looks good That's a good point. He looks real good. That's a good point I mean, I don't know how much la has to do with that hollywood People with uh who are stars tend to age very well because I guess when your job is just staying in shape every day in between scripts Yeah, you dedicate a lot of time to it

Starting point is 00:10:59 There's like a team of people who keep johnny tepp like camera ready Well, you can also get flood. You got fluffers. That's a big thing. Yeah, like a guy that's going to do work at dunking Don and so whatever he ain't got that fluffer, you know what I'm saying? Yeah, you don't have somebody meeting him in the parking lot an hour early To polish him up and trim off all the loose ends and take his append his dirty appendix out or whatever's going on You know, but he's got those people where every day before he you know, there's people like just really shining him up You think like if there was a competitor to come out that would compete against dunking donuts and starbucks If they use a strategy of like, you know what?

Starting point is 00:11:37 We're gonna up the game of the people who work here and make them all Beautiful with fluffers will hire fluffers too that they'll that'll even if the coffee's not as good it'll give them the edge Like how come nobody's thinking outside the box like that Well, sir, you're saying if they beautify the um the staff the staff Yeah with fluff with the help of fluffers with they got the corporate money Right, they can create extra jobs. We don't have to live in this world where coffee shops have like ugly Untaken care of I don't know if that's the way you say it uncoffed unkempt. Yeah unkempt unkempt people Maybe we need to create jobs. How about how about a couple fluffers for these dunking donuts employees?

Starting point is 00:12:18 Yeah, Cinderella's sisters are you talking about? Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Um, well look at this You know, I was at the starbucks the other day and a guy runs in homeless guy, right? Yeah I'm not gonna say homeless, but the guy was The guy hadn't heard a doorbell ringing a while. I bet recently unhomed. I would say that. Yeah I would say recently in the american recently unhomed So this boy he was out there and uh, he came in he had no pants on right And he walked past these two chicks outside and they got a little scared, you know And I was like scat scat like I did like that, you know, because like uh, we had a lot of stray animals in our neighborhood growing up

Starting point is 00:12:56 And if they came by my sisters, I would be like that Did he respond did he scat or he kind of did get to work on him? Yeah Yeah, he kind of did and then he went inside and stole all of the Money right out of the tip thing. He did. Yeah, and um, so the scat You were like an accessory to the crime then we didn't tell him to scat. He would have bothered the girls and May not have he could have done a rape embargo. Oh, yeah, it's hard to know. What would have happened Right, that could have been the lesser of the two evils Well, then I go in and there's a guy in there who's like

Starting point is 00:13:30 Very who's like probably about 11 different genders, right? This dude was coming in, you know, he had anchovies He had all of it and he um He was like, oh my god. I don't know what just happened Right And I was like, y'all got fucking robbed. That's what just happened, bro And nobody in here you had 11 of them and how is it they have 11 starbucks employees? They all have a walkie talkies talking to each other right next to each other. Yeah, it doesn't seem like they need that Yeah, you could just go like this. It's like ordering a sandwich at wawa's. You're like, why can't I just give it

Starting point is 00:14:05 The order to you. Why do I got to become a computer programmer back here? Yeah, it's unnecessary technology. Oh a lot of unnecessary technology and so Then uh, yeah, but it was just crazy. They were everybody was just so like Like nobody there could have saved the day right, you know, because they had this one little mighty mouse bitch You know, I think if she'd have seen it go down She wouldn't she was dealing with an egg You know breakfast or something at the moment when that thing when the guy hit but if she'd have freaking turned around She was a little less hungry. She might have took her focus off the order and helped

Starting point is 00:14:38 Well, she you could just tell she had a little bit more nuts in her than any of the uh Fellows that were working in there. Right, right. They don't care, right? They don't care But it was the tips though Oh, they care about that But I would uh, yeah, yeah, that's my money like, you know, nobody stopped them No, the guy was just like one guy. This is the best one dude who probably was at least you know Four or five different genders, right? This dude coming in bruh, you know, this was a non-binary

Starting point is 00:15:11 This dude had his hands off Like what And the guy didn't have a gun but he did have his pants off Well, he had I'll say this bruh He was short and he it looked like he had a little bit of dick hanging out the bottom of his shirt And that is that's a weapon too That could be that could be a weapon especially if you know what gender you are Yeah, bro, you don't know how that thing's gonna end up in you

Starting point is 00:15:37 Would you be more scared of a guy with a gun or a guy a naked guy is kind of You don't know what to do with a naked guy easy. Oh if I had to I'd get the bullets out of him You know what I'm saying, bro, I'd freaking I'd handle him down to keep the pressure out of him if I had to You ever see those videos where like the like those prank shows in the hood where the guys Talk shit to like tough dudes in the hood and the guy's like what and he's about to and then they just strip naked and the guy runs Because I guess it's so jarring you don't know what to do when somebody's missing A piece of their uh outfit. It's just kind of a weird thing. I guess shirt off is more socially

Starting point is 00:16:14 Well shirt off we're gonna fight. Yeah, sure if we're gonna fight pants off Are we we're gonna we may I might fuck you so that gets a little that's probably what makes you nervous It's a novelty. I have a no frame of reference like when the Indians first saw the boats They couldn't tell what they were really. Yeah, they said they didn't they had no frame of reference for the Conquisitor of boats so they just couldn't almost see them. They couldn't see them. They couldn't understand it It was like an object. They'd never seen so if you get into a situation when a guy with no pants And he's threatening you you might not even understand it and just free maybe put maybe that's why she put her hands up Yeah, maybe she didn't know she was like is this what you're supposed to do

Starting point is 00:16:48 Yeah, when a guy has no pants on a little bit of dick hanging out under the shirt. He had a short shirt on too He was a black guy too, which is an unusual shirt. Yeah, because usually they got long shirts off If you go to black barbecue, they they down to their knees. Oh, yeah. Yeah black guys like long shirts Yeah, black guys look good in stuff. They look good in everything anything. Yeah, you know black guys look good in A black guy could walk around literally with just with with shopping tags Hey, that's why I think a lot of black guys keep the tags on things because I think Other people will literally come up and shop off of them. Yeah, you know Yeah, I like damn. Let me scan this up right now, bro. That's not a bad idea, bro

Starting point is 00:17:28 If you got a percentage of the sale, it's like, damn, let me scan two of those off of my boy And then he makes a little bit of bread Yeah, I had a black friend who used to wear his hat like that with the stickers and tags And we're having a conversation once and he was like, you know, his cops got to stop profiling me I'm like, well, maybe if it looks if you make it look a little less like you just stole the hat out of the store You're wearing it. Like you just ran out past the sensors. I mean, maybe that'll help Yeah, they had a black and I saw what there's a chain made out of sensors like

Starting point is 00:17:59 That's not gonna that's not helpful That's actually a good move if you want to steal a store if you come in with The sensors on and they're going off. You're going, no, it's just my necklace. Yeah, don't look through my book Don't don't profile me. That's my necklace going off. These are sensors That's pretty cool. I think I think if someone was cool enough, they could make sensors cool Yeah, like, you know, like because fashion gets pretty ridiculous Like if you look back in like the 1700s guys were wearing other dude's fucking hair and stockings and candy corn shoes So that and that just objectively looks ridiculous

Starting point is 00:18:34 But that means at some point there was some dude who was so cool Who was wearing it that everyone was like, I want to be like him So they started wearing fucking ridiculous stockings candy corn shoes and somebody else's hair was just some real serial killer Shit, and then the whole continent of europe started doing it So if there was a cool enough dude who started wearing sensors and gave it value like bitcoin, which we all buy which we know is stupid Then I think people would follow it depends on how fucking cool the person is wearing it Fashion is completely subjective Yeah, I never thought about that that much. I mean, yeah, I think if you see somebody with something and you feel like it looks good

Starting point is 00:19:13 Then if somebody else does it, you'll you'll kind of get into it. You know, yeah, like I'm not even lying This is a true story. I saw a dude the other day He had a mullet and somebody else said you're going with the theovon and he was like, damn everyone keeps saying that I'm like, maybe you are consciously or unconsciously There's very few dudes in this country Who have a mullet still right that aren't at a state fair, right, right? You know what I mean? Who are visible like visible beyond the local Word of mouth, right? Like you're visible with you're you're visible with a mullet past word of mouth

Starting point is 00:19:46 Yeah, yeah, and so if somebody has a mullet now you're going like you're you're a theovon. What are you doing here? Yeah? Yeah, you're a theovon fan. Yeah, I got into it man I had it growing up and then I got out of it trying to fit it in Hollywood and then I got back into it It's the best choice I ever made. Have you ever had long hair? I have had long hair But more of the Johnny Depp 21 Jump Street shit. You never had the back go, huh? No, dude. I grew up in Brooklyn. You can you could You can if I don't have the balls. Yeah, I was like that was it's well dude. It's like having balls It's your ball. It's like your hair has balls. It's exactly what it's like. Yeah. Have you ever said that before? No, but I believe that is the funny let the funniest way to describe a mullet because yeah, it's like your hair

Starting point is 00:20:24 It's like there's balls here and they're kind of they're dangling around you could move them a little bit And there's power in it. Yeah. Well, that's a thing. There's fucking power in it. There is right I want to let you guys know about a company that helped me out when I was trying to buy a home about a year ago I had some dings on my credit and and I had to get those taken off So that I could apply for the mortgage Gave me a better credit score bridge credit solutions. Help me do it They are backed with a hundred percent money back guarantee for any items that cannot be removed You will not find that anywhere else in the credit repair industry

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Starting point is 00:23:36 No, I didn't I thought that you were from another country. No, did you think I was offended? I wasn't offended at all. Okay. Good. Yeah. I was I was rolling with it. Yeah, because I get it Um, no, I was I was I'm from New York. My parents are from another country. Okay there So, yeah, I'm I'm kind of recently American. Okay as well I fit into that category if we open up the bubble a little bit Because uh, my mom had to get her papers. Oh, she did. Yeah, my mom had to get her papers. Where did she come from? She came from Greece. Oh, really? Greece. Did you have Greeks down? There's no Greeks down Louisiana. We never had a Greek here We never on the show never

Starting point is 00:24:10 Yeah, never dude. We've had it. We got a charter who you know other people or we have put pens in a place from different countries People have come from well, I'm glad to diversify. Yeah, I'm glad to represent for a whole nation. There's not uh So your mother came from Greece my mother came here She was like a kind of a refugee after world war two. My mother was old She had me when she was in her 40s, which is a real today shit thing to do She did it back then and uh, so she just recently passed away But she yeah, she was there during the nazi occupation and she was there Uh, yeah for world war two and then she immigrated here. So my mother was born there

Starting point is 00:24:46 My father was born in brooklyn, but his parents were born Over there in the old world as we call it. Wow as white people call it the old world. Yeah. Yeah, europe, you know So i'm uh one and a half Uh first generation. I'm a recent. I'm a recent. I'm recently american. Damn. So you weren't you weren't 100% wrong. You weren't 100% right. You were more right than wrong. Oh, thanks. Yeah. Yeah, I mean you you you you smelled something Well, I just and I think it's probably yeah, just the name people are like, oh, what's going on here. You know, it's interesting I don't know you. I'm thinking black guy. Yeah linebacker something

Starting point is 00:25:25 Because von boom and then I see you feel von your name doesn't seem very Doesn't match you. Where's your name come from? Well, my father's from nicaragua My mother's from actually um illinois so Your mother's wow nicaragua's in there. So we got um And yeah, and then my father was part. I think paniac indian as well So we had some goods, you know something a little bit of here and there kind of you know

Starting point is 00:25:53 Should we the paniac car is catching no heat? I mean, it's like the cleveland indians are catching heat The washington redskins are catching heat. Yeah, the paniac car is still floating bring up a paniac if you can brother Yeah, I mean is cancel culture gonna get to that It should wait when you think of how many things are named after native american stuff It's like you really and I can't think of them right now. But oh, oh, yeah It's a lot brother But let me ask you this question as far as the cleveland indians

Starting point is 00:26:24 What's worse sounding to you the cleveland indians or the cleveland browns The cleveland browns sounds a lot more like a slur to me Oh, that's a good point. I hate these browns. Oh, yeah, these fucking browns. I hate the browns every year Sounds a lot worse than I hate the cleveland indians. Yeah, look at these indians Look at these indians where they look at these browns for these indias these indias um Yeah, I mean look, I love a racial slur honestly and uh, who doesn't if it's set in jest Yeah, bro, even if here's the best if you're walking down the street somebody yells it. You don't see who yells it

Starting point is 00:27:00 It's fucking great. Yeah If somebody like is point blank like ribbons, I mean that's fucked up, dude But somebody's used somebody, you know drives buying a yellowed bro fucking you know, yeah It's a that that enhances your day. Oh Kurt Metzger has the best slur. I've heard for greeks ever is that my phone. I apologize. Jesus christ My special needs brother time for your daughter to wake up. Yeah Um, kurt metzger has the best slur for greeks that I've ever heard because there's it's there's not many And he just uh, one time he was doing the stand-up set. It's online somewhere

Starting point is 00:27:32 But he just goes he was dating a greek girl and her dad didn't approve as greek dads usually don't of anyone greeks hit everybody And he just goes can you believe that dude? A diner monkey from ass fuck island I was like That's the best slur Diner monkey from ass fuck island doesn't get better than that. So that's what I am. I like that Because we do diners is like that that's like the greek passport into america That's why is it because of all the dishes and stuff because y'all guys like it dishes is a big party else culture, huh?

Starting point is 00:28:05 Yeah, maybe that's why I never thought of it. Maybe it's because it access the dishes That's the first time I've heard that theory. Huh you came up with that in a split second, too Well, it's I guess the only we throw them. We throw them right. It's part of the it's like a tradition. Yeah, so yeah I don't know that much about greeks, man Is that We got a healthy history, man. Oh, well, I know I've seen a lot of the artwork and stuff like that. Yeah Now that's beautiful. Low penises though. A lot of statues. Low penises. Yeah. Oh, they didn't really they save cement, huh? Yeah, yeah around there. Yeah, I don't know why they did that

Starting point is 00:28:40 But all the penises are really small in the old statues. Well, do greek girls have big butts? I think a lot of the penis size of the males of a culture has to do with the size If you have to reach the vagina of the woman, you know You're coming up with some theories that I haven't thought about you so you're saying you were saying without saying Correct me if i'm wrong. Yeah, you're saying without saying Black dudes got big dicks because black girls got big asses And to be able to reach the vagina they have to so it kind of evolved that way I think so. I mean it makes sense

Starting point is 00:29:14 Yeah, I mean when I think about a lot of times if I think about having sex with a black girl, it's like I mean all this certainly depends, but it's like I couldn't do it. You got your dick has to wear lifts. Yeah to get there. Yeah You gotta get another dick shoulders a lot of yoga. Yeah My dick didn't need to be like one of the ones with like two kids in a like top coat Like oh, I'm here to let my kid go on the field trip. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god and chinese asian No butts. No butts and also Corresponding correlated. Yeah hypothetically hypothetically, but we all know it's true little or penises. Yeah, holy shit. Maybe

Starting point is 00:29:55 Because yeah, I mean it's just like about nature like a hummingbird Has to have that beat because it has to be able to um I missed that and you know what I'm saying, but it's not right So I think you might have just lost confidence in it. You might I mean you might have you might have been going somewhere Yeah, hummingbird has to have a beak Because it just you know, it gets in a certain type of flowers and it's like the deep ones Was that the moment when you realized you didn't know that much about hummingbirds? I think it's the moment I realized I didn't know that much. Yeah, you had you had enough knowledge to get you to that point

Starting point is 00:30:27 Yeah, and then you like what else do they do? Yeah, I'm done. Yeah, I'm done with that What? Okay, so you guys started in New York I just want to I know a lot of people know you but I want to make sure that my audience knows you I appreciate that I forget that sometimes like even though like I have some knowledge of someone or you know I know that they're a great comedian or But my audience doesn't know so you started out in new york started out in new york grew up there I grew up in brooklyn new york

Starting point is 00:30:51 greek-american Grew up. I started there Um long time ago quit for a while uh had some things happen and You know trauma and things like that and my head's all messed up Which is a constant challenge and then uh, I got back into it and um, I started doing stand-up consistently Donnell wrongs was really the guy who got me in the comedy

Starting point is 00:31:14 Like stand-up got me back in after I quit And I was doing sketch too and I did some viral characters on youtube early in early in youtube And uh started touring doing those but always was a stand-up I started as a stand-up and I've been doing it, you know on and off because I took some time off, you know of like I'd say close to 20 years man 15 20 years. I've been around. I'm like the bull Durham Even when I did new faces in Montreal, which is like comics. That's like when the industry takes a look at you or whatever I was like, I was like the dude. I mean, I was in my what was I I was in my late 30s. I felt like bull Durham Yeah, everybody else was these young prospects and I'm like, I was like an old catcher been around, you know

Starting point is 00:31:57 You got icy hot on the show. Yeah. I had like I have little tricks oil here like to do for major league the old reliever Yeah, you're like, oh the the guy after you's like, oh, what is this mic have sap on it? Yeah, I'm like, it's you know, that's an old-timer trick, you know Wow. So, um, when you took time off, what did you think? Because I had a I had a spot where I think probably about seven months. I took off I just felt like I wasn't maybe I didn't know what I was doing Was there a reason that you took some time off? What was it? Yeah, so I uh, I got shot early on I started doing comedy in 2000

Starting point is 00:32:32 I got shot in 2001 by a gun by a gun. Yeah, no way. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. And what did it feel like it burns? It's hot It's just hot. You don't think about that. Yeah, it's hot You don't you know, your body takes care of you like chemicals or whatever that is for the pain and like Your body releases shit that kind of but like DMT daddy. Yeah, it's DMT I guess but then afterwards when all that adrenaline adrenaline and also adrenaline when that adrenaline dies down It's just heat. It's hot. You can actually see smoke coming out of the hole like a little bit of smoke. Yeah Yeah, yeah, and uh, so that was fine though. I went night in the hospital. I got shot like close to You know my dick and ass. Did you really? Yeah, like right here. Yeah

Starting point is 00:33:13 Ooh, and you can see smoke coming out. So for a second Yeah, you can see a little smoke coming out when they cut my plastic pants off of me jogging pants or whatever you call them Like your femur is fucking vaping in there Yeah, that's what it looked like And um, and then you feel the heat and then a little sting when all the chemical when all the whatever adrenaline rushes Uh comes down and I just got lucky it didn't hit an artery or anything like that But you know the the that wasn't the the problem was was the panic attacks that started afterwards like sort of the ptsd that I didn't know what it was and so I started having like these panic attacks

Starting point is 00:33:44 And I it was related to the trauma from that like just walking around being scared like oh shit That happened to me it could happen any moment and I didn't know what it was So I just dealt with it for why I didn't know what trauma was or what was going on I would just get on the train in New York and I would just start bugging out and like hyperventilating Wow, and then not knowing why is like my subconscious So I'm going what the fuck is going on and I just lived like that for a while And so I quit comedy because I get up on stage and I'd have these massive panic attacks They're making me think yeah right now it was weird time

Starting point is 00:34:14 And then I just kind of quit started doing social work. I did 9 11 disaster relief for a while And uh, don't know wrongs like I said was the guy who uh kind of pulled me in he saw me once I thought I was funny and then he uh he had a room on the Upper East Side of New York City every Tuesday or Wednesday Called Marion Square and I would get up there once a week And then Chappelle show this about 2005 six Chappelle still took off. He took me on the road with him charlie It was bill burr for a little bit then uh christian finnegan from the show Yeah, and uh that was real nice of him. So I always uh, I I always owe him for that I always like you know, it was a real nice thing for like, you know a comic to be like

Starting point is 00:34:52 Hey, you're funny and then like try to help me. Yeah, I'd sell his posters and I'd do five minutes And it was nice to also go on the road and see success Because I had never seen anyone like make it and I knew dine out before he made it and then like I saw his outfit change Yeah, and I saw him go from tim bows to like Uh higher priced higher priced shoe. Yeah, like the outfit change. That's where you can tell money in comedy I've seen I've seen with a lot of my friends now. You know, really? Yeah, even tim dillon's gone from like Ben basket polo. Yeah to like Balenciago or some Italian M I can't even pronounce without sounding like I'm from New York too much

Starting point is 00:35:28 Yeah, it's just it's an outfit change now. Did you I'm gonna go through a little bit that so yeah with the trauma stuff Did you know that it was part of? Like did you see you felt a lot of anxiety? I'm guessing like uncomfortable But were you able to relate immediately that that it was because of the gunshot thing? No, it took me I had to go to therapy and finally I went to therapy. I just was like muscling through it not knowing like It was a kind of a masculine for it to happen. Be like, why am I so scared? I would I would freeze up I would like I wouldn't be there was one time I I thought I was having a heart attack and I couldn't move and my whole body just kind of froze. I couldn't move

Starting point is 00:36:05 I guess that's what they call scared stiff And uh, I told my friend I was with my friend on the train I was like calling ambulance. I'm having a heart attack and they came and they're like, you're fine Like what they took all my vitals and I was like I was like because you don't feel fine So you're going like you must be wrong. You must be wrong I'm dying and and I wasn't and it was just these panic attacks That would happen and I I really didn't Have a reprieve from them. I didn't really get away from them until I started going to therapy therapy works

Starting point is 00:36:32 You got issues. I recommend therapy. Yeah. Yeah, I recommend therapy Um, and what were you able so how did they what was the process kind of a relating? A figuring out that that was it. It was uh sitting with a therapist being she was a female therapist I was attracted to her. Hmm. So did you tell her that I didn't tell her that which felt like I wasn't being Open in therapy You know because that must have been a thing like a mommy issue or something but because of that I was just more I don't know. I was more vulnerable open like guys

Starting point is 00:37:06 You always a little standoffish when you sit with a guy like fuck your guy like I don't I got it And I can't be vulnerable around a guy. I always got to be a guy but a woman You just kind of you can act a little more like a woman and talk about your feelings Right. So I was able to something about her Open me up and I was able to talk about it and uh And I got over the fact that I wanted to sleep with her. Maybe it's because of the connection, you know We're comics. We're all fucked up. We got walls up There's reasons why we stand on wood planks for chicken fingers for 10 years to have strangers give us

Starting point is 00:37:37 Uh, uh, you know, it's because we didn't get something else So there's walls up, but she was able to take those down. She was beautiful too. God her legs was the problem If she wore pants more But maybe that's what opened me up. I was always distracted with her legs. Oh, yeah Yeah, they were just nice. Oh, I noticed I'll be involved in anything Do not hear a set of high heels in the distance and I have no control over my ability to zone out of whatever um Is going on so the the the sound of high heels

Starting point is 00:38:09 Yeah, and it's not even about sex. It's just the idea That a woman could be around, you know, I think when I was young I didn't get that care And so it was like the simple idea that a woman could be coming around to give me some type of care affection Oh, like it's like there's a part of me that just cannot help but Go and listen for that. Listen to that. I read it the wrong way I like I was reading it like a like a predator hearing prey like, you know, oh, no Like a coyote hearing like movement in the brush. Oh, no, no, you were yours was more of like a Nurturing thing you need it. Yeah. Yeah, I think that's where that kind of yeah

Starting point is 00:38:45 What chicks it for me is that's the first part of it. Do you like to suck tip? Did you were you breastfed? My small breast so you do like when you get a big one. Do you just Oh, I definitely I have I've overstayed my welcome. Yeah on a big tip This is like the second and third time already in this podcast You've said something without saying something and I picked up on it The first one was but now I know you basically saying your mom had small breasts. Oh, my mom knows it Yeah, is if she the one who breastfed was your mom who breastfed you?

Starting point is 00:39:17 I I sometimes another woman will get in there and like African villages. Yeah No, my sisters ants my sister's cousin-in-law, bro They would breastfeed each other's children the um, but I believe that my mother did it as far as I know, right? But yeah, a small breast you never shake the trauma from Breastfeeding out of a small breast you never the fucking just the rattle just trying to rattle a drop of milk out of something So small it's insane. It's insane that we let a child do it What's insane when you sit think about right now a kid I'm like a lowercase a cup. I just imagine you not being able to get find anything you're trying to grab

Starting point is 00:39:56 You just right, you know, you're just hitting the bag. You're just you know, and there's nothing in there Like a wall climber looking for somewhere to put your fingers and there's just nothing. It's just a flat wall It's not it's traumatic It's definitely exactly what you said is traumatic crazy that you remember that too even though there was no video evidence Well, I do believe that when I start to I can feel the desperation of it and the why isn't there something there So you remember the feeling not necessarily the facts. Well, I think I always have that feeling right something I'm missing something something isn't available. Right something isn't Complete right so I just take it back to usually things like that probably and not specifically breastfeeding but

Starting point is 00:40:40 Just the feminine connect me to a you know connecting to a feminine a feminine across the board. Yeah, you know, but Do you want things to be complete? Like being alive is kind of incomplete. We're only complete when we die and we you know God willing we go out we go to the party, you know, yeah Yeah, I just think of your foundation as a you know, if you got all the stair steps and you can get onto the porch, you know Yeah, it's always feel like we fucking just had a pile of wood right there No nails I like no plan that analogy was very like that was like your background and you're like you saw a porch

Starting point is 00:41:20 You went to stairs. I would have gone like elevator push the button. Oh, wow. Yeah. Were you guys pretty well off growing up? We were okay. We were okay. Yeah, I was my friends had less money. My parents were both lawyers. Oh, wow, really? Yeah, but they made like a hundred thousand dollars, which back then was like a lot of money still a lot still a lot I guess that's still but back then I guess it was a lot a lot. Yeah. Yeah A hundred thousand back then man. That was as almost as much as you could have it seem like I don't even think it was possible to have more than a hundred thousand, right? Somebody had a hundred thousand dollars. Yeah I don't you never heard of anyone if someone had more than a hundred thousand dollars back then they hit it They did not talk about it. They were yeah, they were they were doing something real illegal

Starting point is 00:42:00 Yeah, I felt the only way to get more than a hundred thousand was illegal. I felt like back then There was like a cat back then it seemed like it. Yeah, you know, um So we were we were okay. We were pretty well off like I went to private school So they had enough to send me to private school. Yeah, but back then private school was like, you know 10 grand a year 15 grand a year something like that. It wasn't like now, which is like You got to have a lot more than a hundred thousand dollars to go to private school now um But all my friends went to public school

Starting point is 00:42:32 So they would just they would always yeah They would always steal money out of my dad's pocket when he left his pants up on the and do greeks Yeah, do greeks carry a lot. I feel like greeks carry like a lot of cash on them always cash paranoid people Very very paranoid defensive people. Yeah They're uh, we were formally enslaved by the turks. I think all people Who are like, uh, you know, I think the irish have it a little because the english fuck them It is heartbreaking, right? Like large you think about it. Yeah, because then all that trauma gets stuck in people and then it's coming out in crazy ways

Starting point is 00:43:03 You know, it's coming out and some guy fucking, you know Beating somebody's face in with a hard hero over here, you know Common crime in the greek community. It never ends. Yeah, the hero gets that's where the air damage we were talking about Can happen to a hero too. Yeah Um, okay, so now you've been in new york for a long time. You've done comedy over the years You got shot. You took a break. Who shot you. Do you know? I do know who shot me. Yeah. Well, I know I don't know him. He's not like I didn't know him personally, but we had to go to trial and everything He played not guilty. Oh, yeah, so I had to sit there and

Starting point is 00:43:37 testify and uh Yeah, it was just it was an attempted robbery because I was with the friend I was with was a promoter So he carried a lot of cash with them. So I assume it was an attempted robbery or carjacking or both You know, and I was just wrong place wrong time and I made the I maybe the wrong decision or right. I mean in that moment, you know, you're either like free Like I just grabbed his arm and tried to get it away and fired and I just point point blank range I got shot. Maybe it would have been worse if he was farther away. So the bullet had a little chance to I don't know how I don't know which

Starting point is 00:44:14 Bullet goes faster. I'm not I'm not a ballistics expert. Like if a bullet picks up steam or loses steam Does it pick up steam? I guess there's a certain point it would pick up steam, right? Certain distance. There must be an apex If you're a certain distance away where it's the fastest where you can do the most damage. I don't know Thank god it was a little fatter then because it got caught in my butt cheek And the bullet stayed in there for like still in there. No, I took it out a couple years later That was a wild moment when they took it out because uh, they put you under

Starting point is 00:44:45 And the way I came to what and they had me up in stirrups Like I was at a gynecologist because they the surgery happened right here So I came to like this with my legs up and I came to when I farted And I farted with the doctor and and the nurse down there and they were like laughing because I farted it But like I didn't know where I was and I had to pass gas And then they took it out And that's that's I that's all I remember about that surgery and that put an end to that trauma Really right when the bullet came out. Do you feel like it was that just having the bullet in you still like yeah

Starting point is 00:45:17 It was in there. It like I don't know. Yeah, the spirit of it was in there. Yeah The spirit of it was like an invasion like the the bullet was like You know, it was it was in my it wasn't paying rent. Yeah part of my body all the rest of my organs pay rent Yeah, and there was this thing and it was just freeloading And I was like I got to get this freeloader. So finally We evicted that we evicted that bad tenet that was in my leg And uh, that's unbelievable man. I don't even know that that happened to you. Yeah. Yeah, I've spoken about a few times Um, I never really joked about it or made jokes out of it

Starting point is 00:45:52 Because it was I it wasn't funny to me I was like that would make me sad and I didn't know what was funny about it now I feel a lot better about it. It happened a long time ago. You know, I feel like I'm solidly a man now You know as a comic. I don't think I became solidly a man till like two years ago. Really? Yeah, we're all yeah Don't you feel like are you growing you have grandkids? No, I don't have anything like that. I don't know I don't even have original children. Yeah Do you have uh Fake ones or imaginary replica ones. No, I don't have any wife or nothing like that yet

Starting point is 00:46:20 I'm playing on getting it though. You do. I know I learned a lot about it. Yeah, you're special. Yeah, I watched Let me see 34 minutes of your special. That's about that's right That's probably more than what the algorithm is telling me that people watch. It was cool. I'm farther than most people Yeah, it's really really cool. Thank you, man. I appreciate the name of it. I don't oh wait. Oh, I do know what it is. It's called Something mom mom love mom love. Sorry mom love. No that Anything in the area of mom. It's like pronouncing my name. I'll respond to Yanis Yonis Yanis Yeah, and I could I mean I could have looked at the Wikipedia page before I just forgot what it was named I'm not trying to say that I don't care. No, I know. Okay, cool. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Um

Starting point is 00:47:01 Yes, you got the new special out and this is on YouTube. It's on YouTube. Yeah, it's on YouTube It's cool, man. You shot over there Madison, which was nice really cool spot. Yeah, and when I shot it I just decided to shoot it that night. I had no plans to say I did my album a couple years ago It's comedy on state too, which is like it's a great club. It's just run well and the audience is always great You know who runs it? Greek. Great. Yeah, Greeks crazy to Greek young ladies and their Greek father who's Really killed it. I mean came to this country like with like five bucks and now he owns He owns like the whole state street. They should rename it to like state ducky street. It's like Greek Greeks conquered we came and we like

Starting point is 00:47:41 Like alexander he came and he just took over all the restaurants there alexander the Greek, right alexander the Greek Yeah, he was alexander the great. But yeah, he was great. Greek Macedonians will say he's Macedonian Greeks will say he's Greek They fight about it and it's like guys. Who cares? It's like one of those inter Fighting things where you're like dude like it's like between like Serbs and Croats. You're like guys I can't fucking tell the difference like the irid the northern irish and southern. They're fucking fighting The Ukrainians and Russians if I put a Ukrainian and Russian in here right now. Do you think? One out of 10 people from any country would be able to tell me what the difference is when they start fucking talking between

Starting point is 00:48:21 Ukraine and Russia what they fighting over Aren't you the same kind of like northern? I think a syllable probably I think there's a couple syllables still on the board for Like a vowel maybe probably if they're fighting over anything It's probably a vowel over there because if you hear those people talk, you don't there's zero vowels involved zero It's just Yeah Yeah, they don't stop all Vs and Ls. No Yeah, and then the Norwegians and Swedes they have their hate for each other like people just hate each

Starting point is 00:48:50 Pea humans like to hate. Yeah, we'll hate whatever is closest It's just I think what do you and what do you think that is? I think part of it is because you just want to feel There's some need to feel what? Why do people want to hate? I think part of it is uh, it gives you a feeling of feeling okay If I can think this is worse. Yeah, if I can think that that person is Is not as good It's easier. I think it's scary like what I think eye contact is scary I think making strong eye contact if you keep making it for a long time

Starting point is 00:49:22 I think two people are either going to fight or fuck Okay, like I can you have to look away at some point or else it gets too powerful or like fall in love like eye contact It's a good point or thought about that. There's like a spectrum of eye contact. Yeah, you got at some point You got to like look away. You're like, are we gonna fuck? You know like I can't be or somebody's gonna see something in you That you don't want them to see or that it's gonna be you're gonna be too You're too insecure. You know, you don't want person to know you're lying or whatever it is Or you're hiding something. So I think that's the thing that is a barrier always with people and then I fuck you I don't want you and yeah, I'm hiding something. I'm not comfortable with who I am. So

Starting point is 00:49:57 It just turns into like, hey, yeah, it's gotta be that Right I would think man. I mean, it's interesting if you're looking for that extra confidence when it's time for sex. Well Jumping the wagon, baby Jumping the dang confidence wagon and floor it And let me tell you about blue chew dot com blue chew

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Starting point is 00:52:14 TPW listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com slash Theo That's better lp.com slash t-h-e-o I've needed help and I've gotten it through better help and you can as well That's why I almost became a Quaker You almost became a Quaker. I almost chose to become a Quaker. Were you gonna marry into it or no? No, I was just gonna show up one day and be like I'm down with what you guys are doing What's the deal? Do I got to do paperwork or do I got to dunk me in water? I want to do what you're doing

Starting point is 00:52:48 Because the way they get married I went to a Quaker school for a little while broken friends, right? There's like these Quaker schools and their thing is real beautiful, man. It's about silence Really? So like every day they have a silent meeting and everyone just sits in silence and nobody speaks unless they're moved to speak and then the weddings The bride and groom to be or whatever they're called. I don't know what the Quakers call. Yeah, you know Whatever they may have some like allegories from Quakers or they call the weddings. What?

Starting point is 00:53:15 I don't know, but at a Quaker wedding. Yeah, I don't know the way they get married is a guy and the guy and girl who get married Yeah, just and all their friends gather around the guy and girl just Sit for about an hour and stare at each other and everyone sits in silence And then after about an hour or so they're just married and nobody speaks unless god moves them to speak And that's it and I just thought that was so beautiful because if you're sitting with the person You're going to spend the rest of your life with and you're sitting there for an hour You're probably having every fear every hope every insecurity everything transpire in your head. Yeah, and you're just like

Starting point is 00:53:51 It must be a real like just roller coaster of emotions And if you feel good about it after that hour, you know, you're probably doing the right thing But if you start feeling some bad feelings, you probably know you're gonna have to Cheat. Wow. Yeah, I guess at that point you really all you're left with sitting after an hour probably is some pure-ass honesty Probably that's right. Yeah. I you said it a lot better than I that's what I was trying to say Yeah, and then I guess some of your friends do they speak up in those instances or not if god moves them supposedly But can you bring that up here? What do we have like a Quaker wedding sit in or is it like a um? Yeah, I wonder what they would call it

Starting point is 00:54:31 I don't know. Yeah, maybe they just call it a Quaker wedding. Yeah, that's a good question, man. What do they call it? The Quakers make often referred to as the silent ceremony Quaker weddings differ From the traditional Protestant ceremony in four significant ways. There's no efficient No giving away the bride A wedding certificate is signed and there's a long period of silent open worship after which those attending may speak on the couple's behalf

Starting point is 00:55:03 Hmm And you know the Quakers were against slavery too early on they're pretty they're pretty like clean dude I like that religion man. It's just kind of quiet and like No mantra no dogma Bring up some images of these folks, huh? Do you mind so we know who we're actually considering here? Well, they look like the dude on the Quaker Quaker Oats box. They all look like that. Oh god really still Yeah, they still kind of roll like that. Hmm. Get some vans or something at least They gotta they gotta change a little bit throwing some damn quicksilver or something, you know

Starting point is 00:55:36 Yeah, some a little more weather appropriate at least yeah orthodox jews the same thing. They wear the same wool Like black suits even like in the middle of july. Oh dude I was at this halfway or like not a halfway house, but like a recovery house or whatever And this orthodox jewish jude had a roll in right and this and it's just like, you know different guys staying in there and stuff and This guy rolls up dude. He was dressed like biggie Smalls, right? It was last summer Bro, it was this was in arizona. It was a hundred and four degrees

Starting point is 00:56:08 This dude rolls up just like biggie Smalls and had a grill that he would cook his food on in his room at night Really just grilling this like kind of shady fish kind of like this fucking, you know I don't know what type of fish it was but Uh, it just it was unbelievable. The dude is pouring sweat. His hands were all sweaty every time you shook his hand It felt like you were like babysitting one of those, uh Like one of those oil spill animals, you know, it was just Disgusting bro. I'm like, oh my I was like if you were like This will kill you you can't this can't be like a

Starting point is 00:56:45 Heavenly choice or whatever you'll die in this. Yeah, they It's I guess when they're Mantra or whatever their dogma says, this is how you dress. Wow, doesn't there's no update. Yeah Like there's no there's got to be Jesus like whoever there Jesus has to come back and be like Dude, thank I came back to tell you this because I can't watch you guys suffer anymore. Yeah, you don't have to You can take a couple layers off when it's hot. Oh, we need tank tops out there fam I like to call this shady fish. Was it a shady fish because you just couldn't identify it I mean anybody that's grilling room a fish in their room on a little grill like that at night

Starting point is 00:57:21 Trying and he was trying to secretly do it I think because one of the rules was you couldn't cook in your room Because a lot of people are drug users in there. Ah, so one dude's cooking a fish one dude's cooking up a batch of whatever You know some fireball for his arm, you know, so it's like the guys will cheat to like oh he cooking I'ma cook. So it wasn't the fish that was shady. It was the whole Situation what was going on that way? He was more of the shady. It was breaking the rules. Okay. So the fish was just a fish Yeah, all right. So it's kind of picture of shady fish being like and he kept wanting like gum or something from me I think he couldn't have gum. So he was like breaking. It's like I had some kind of candy or something kept one

Starting point is 00:57:55 Oh, it was nerd ropes So this dude fucking kept every time I get my nerd ropes open Yeah, he could hear the bag from the distance bro from across the desert, dude Like we with high heels in you. Oh Yeah, he come around and then watch him just nibble on this nerd rope this dude, oh Goimel or something his name. I don't know that dude was uh, have you ever uh, like This is what I like what in my background in New York

Starting point is 00:58:22 There's a lot of like Irish Catholic girls like Catholic Puerto Ricans. Catholic was a big religion. It's very repressive sexually I almost felt like when you hooked up with one of those girls That the repression was worth it for their energy. They were so So happy like you know like a religious dude with nerd rope or whatever little thing he can get that's not allowed It's almost worth it like sexually it's almost worth it for us all to be repressed to give it a little something extra Oh, I I think that's what some of the value in the having the repression in religion for sex is Yeah, it's like to keep some energy in it to keep some fuel in the tank

Starting point is 00:59:04 Yeah, and yeah, there's definitely been a gal when she gets a hold of your Nerd rope if you will even which is still I didn't think about that a great term for a wiener. It is a really good way Uh, yeah, they're definitely more keyed up about it Like there's some girls that'll damn floss their teeth with it, you know If you let them because it's just like so forbidden. Yeah, it's just that forbidden. You know, it's a real dessert Yeah, but if you just say all day you're just over there with your legs open at the bakery then you're definitely It becomes tried it becomes there's no value in it. Yeah It's kind of a lot of our society. We've burnt out a lot of the value of things

Starting point is 00:59:39 I think that's where we're at right now. Me too. We're almost like freedom's gotten too free Well, pornography is burned down like any like a lot of sexual energy So I think you have a lot of marriages that probably are poor. I wonder if you could calculate how much pornography has killed marriages It's probably killed a lot Not even marriage is just sex drive and like imagination and You know, like, uh, it's bad pornography is bad and like it's bad because there's no smells in it There's no people's feelings in it. You're just it's something got to be very unnatural about just staring at a modern screen

Starting point is 01:00:15 Moving pictures of something else that you you can't smell. It's just like visual and you that's it's got to be something bad for your brain there Oh, dude, I remember biking across town. I'd bike over there I knew a buddy had a couple titty mags over there. His daddy hit him, right? and uh We bike it kept him in the bathroom and I'd bike over to his house It was like seven miles from my house dude It took me half of a sunday to get over there And I'd bike over there

Starting point is 01:00:42 And then just use their shitter all afternoon and I'd just be in there playing with myself They must have thought I was insane, dude I would come over there on the weekends and be all sweaty Go in there just use a can for a while Touch myself and then drink a bunch of water take a nap and then bike back home hydrate You have to hide because you must you that means you had a vigorous masturbation Lost a lot of water. It was everything you had was in there. Yeah. Yeah. You were back then you really yeah, it was unionized Yeah, we got now

Starting point is 01:01:17 You're lucky if you get ladder 14 out there. Yeah, yeah the um the mags Because I I'm from that generation too before the mags. Oh, so I used to put them out like that I used to put them out. Yeah, and then like we would we would share them one person will be one friend Would be done with them pass them off to you and there'd be a circle I would put the mags out like that like four of them and make my own moving picture just by looking at all Oh, that's real fast. Yeah, just real fast. I would go like counterclockwise too and I would just try you know Yeah, so I was kind of ahead of the game when it like, you know, oh, yeah. Yeah a little bit. I was making it

Starting point is 01:01:51 Yeah, I did my I used my imagination in some way to make this situation a little more valuable Yeah, because it's hard to just look at a Calvin Klein ad and just It's tough. Kate Moss only lasts, you know, it's just like You know, you need movement. You need something else. Yeah, I need more. Yeah, I'm a guy who needs a little more You know, I need love. I need a woman. You know to be distant I need her to be adopted like I that's what I need Yeah, in order for me to feel something I need her to have some real big issue that I'm Trying to solve that'll never be solved that I can chase

Starting point is 01:02:25 Like um adoptions a good one adopted women are Like a Nicholas Cage movie almost that's a hole. You can never fill the rejection from the mother So is amber her adopted? I would like if she I would not be surprised. She was adopted. She has that vibe to her Is she adopted? Let's look it up. I'm taking it. I'm taking a guess Because adopted adopted people just that the rejection from the mom is just On that level, you know, a lot of us don't get the nurture and all that but like To just say he I don't want it. That's something you can't fail

Starting point is 01:03:03 But so there's something alluring to it Amber heard I Can't see those. Do you find her attractive ever gurgling it bringing in here? Her was born. She's not adopted Yeah, I don't think she was adopted. She's a younger sister named Whitney Um Do I I actually a buddy of mine had a birthday and she and I both like spoke at his birthday or whatever did like a little

Starting point is 01:03:36 I don't think it's like a eulogy. I don't know what it is but like a thing, you know and uh So that was kind of interesting just one time getting to like Um Met her just briefly. I don't know. I I don't to me. She's not sedated. She's not my type. I don't think but what's your type. Um This is probably different than her maybe. Okay Not blonde not blonde. Her girls don't like me really. No, they've never

Starting point is 01:04:05 I'm getting a lot of blond, you know, what do you get man? What do you have? I know you got one you're especially have some great jokes about weddings, man. I was howling. Thank you, dude I appreciate that. I was howling, dude. Thank you Uh, my my wife she's she's greek. Oh, wow. Do you have to marry a greek? I didn't have to and I did which is weird because my parents didn't care about that at all And I did it which makes me figure why did I do that? But I love her. I love my wife. There you go. Good That's a good start and I didn't marry her because she was greek. I just married her because the vibe was nice I got I when I met her

Starting point is 01:04:41 I think I was at a point in my life where I'd made so many mistakes I don't regret any of them because they were all fun. They were just meant to end Some of the fun as shit is just meant to end And so like you can't ever you just look back and go like oh that was fun, but it was meant to end You know, that's such an interesting statement, man Yeah, I think so because I think nobody ever hears that statement Yeah, and so a lot of us get stuck in this space. Oh the fight has to keep going or there's But yeah, some of the fun is meant to end. Wow. That's also what makes it fun. That's what makes it so fun

Starting point is 01:05:13 You know, this there's powerful dog. Yeah, I mean, that's like damn steve austin. That's powerful like steve austin Yeah, I mean everything has a balance here It's a finite universe you run all the way in this direction You're gonna come out on the other side like miss pac-man Like this is not an infinite universe. So it's always seeking balance and like the fun or something is You know the more you're gonna pay for it later You're either gonna pay in life people think they're not gonna pay But that's just because you didn't have to pay up top

Starting point is 01:05:43 Sometimes you walk into a restaurant, you know and you order first get the food, but the check's coming Even though you ate you think you ate and you're gonna now you got or you're gonna be washing dishes Yeah, but you're gonna pay. There's always a cost. It's just either you pay up front or you pay later Damn, so yeah, if it's that fun, it's like the check's coming Were you did you have were you did you think you wouldn't get married? Yeah, I wasn't I didn't think I was getting married. I'd have kids all that stuff frightened me because of issues and stuff you know, uh parents were divorced parents had really had animosity towards each other and uh, my mother was like a little cold

Starting point is 01:06:22 You know, she wasn't very nurturing. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so that makes it a little Intimacy a weird thing. Did you ever go to any of the recovery meetings or get in the programs or like no no no I do go to therapy though therapy helps therapy helps if me a lot my therapist I love I think he's great, you know, I just connect with him and It works for me. It's a man now. You got a man now I'm a man. I think I'm a man enough now to be able to open up to a man Wow back then it was just like I had to be a woman because I felt too vulnerable now I could cry in front of a man, dude. I could fucking cry in front of a man

Starting point is 01:06:55 I mean, I don't cry a lot. I haven't cried a lot, but I can I can fucking do it If it came to it, like, you know, we got in like a serious fucking convo. I wouldn't hide it Oh, I'll cry against anybody. Yeah, I'll fucking cry. I'll put on fucking shoulder pads any helmet and cry Cry the fuck out of a fucking off fucking two tutties dog. I'll get two touchdowns and fucking cry Yeah You're comfortable with who you are then that means yeah, oh dude. Yeah, I'll cry for 400 yards dog In six touchdowns, dude. I'm not afraid to do it You got like a you got like a I love your I said it before I think I might have said it on someone's podcast

Starting point is 01:07:33 But like you got a rhythm to you. It's like listening to comedy jazz Oh, thanks, man And then you're imagining you're painting these pictures and you're like, why you're just like there you go Wow, the fuck is a shady fish there. You start to see you start to see the the fish acting shady See the dude like you paint a picture with your comedy. It's and it's jazz. It's very very very rhythmic Thanks, man. Like is that maybe that's like louisiana. Maybe that's that influence of kind of just like Yeah, yeah Yeah, I don't know when I'm feeling good. Everything feels pretty good. I always feel rude around a southerner

Starting point is 01:08:08 Do you I feel rude? I feel like my rhythm is rude Like I'm you know what I mean? Like because I'm good friends with Nate like me and Nate came up together Nate Bargatsky Oh, yeah, yeah, he's always rude around like he's and he always kind of was like, oh, he's telling his body language He's always telling me chill like chill, right? Like what are you and I'm like, I'm just living man and he's like, yeah, but it's you know That's living at a high level. Yeah a high octane level. That's like not where I want to be and I'm like, I'm sorry I'm taking you know Yeah, Nate has a real pass. He's real. He has a real not passiveness, but just like a pacificity to him. Yeah, he's real real

Starting point is 01:08:43 Calm, he seems organized. Yeah, like he'd be a good general. I think Like a quiet general. Yeah, maybe maybe things would have been different if he was back then maybe the south He they lost maybe they were a little too laid back Yeah, you guys lost that. Well, I think we had good generals, but I think we just didn't have uh Well, I don't know if we let enough of the If they would if they would have used more if they had more slaves fight as well Yeah, but the cause wasn't right. Yeah. Yeah, I think the whole thing was kind of discombobulated It was definitely discombobulated. Yeah, that was discombobulated is a good word to say

Starting point is 01:09:21 Do you think that they we could ever get back to another civil war? Yeah, unfortunately. Yeah I do Yeah, but it wouldn't be the same states against each other this time Um, yeah, who that's an interesting thing to think because it's different. It's not like yeah What would it be or to be over it may not even be geographical. It may be more uh city versus country

Starting point is 01:09:47 where like the country's just Had enough dude. I I feel like could be religious almost to even yeah where people want more religious beliefs or religious based beliefs, I don't know I think maybe a I think maybe a religious dictator may be the only thing that could pull us back together Like joe lostin if he got in power, right? I mean, he's got a mullet. I was just thinking I didn't even he's got a mullet kind of right He's got kind of that soft boy mullet like somebody that plays second base that kind of gets a mullet. Yeah Yeah, he's not fully committed. No, he's still trying to be handsome. Yeah

Starting point is 01:10:22 Yeah, you got to grow it past handsome. Yeah, you got to have full balls Once you grow your mullet past handsome dude, that's when you know you that's that's when it knows you want it So it's comfortable you you're comfortable with it. It's a full commitment. You're married at that point You're in a relationship with your hair. Yeah, once you sat there for an hour together. He's just dating his hair right now Yeah, he's still it's still like yeah. Yeah, it's still in the dating phase. Yeah, what would a civil war be about? um, it would probably be about abortion Abortion would be one of them um

Starting point is 01:10:56 Bathrooms people really upset about bathrooms Like yo man some one groups like yo, we got enough bathrooms and another side's like, yo, we need more bathrooms Yeah, and it's ironic because construction workers Most of the time believe in less bathrooms, but it would be good for their business to build more You know, I mean, that's a great point even think about that. Yeah, and I always wanted to I always wanted to know if there should be like I don't like Should there be gay and straight bathrooms?

Starting point is 01:11:26 Gay and straight as well Well, because if I'm a gay dude Yeah, and I get to roll into a place where other dudes has their penises out. Yeah It's like a fat dude walking into a barbecue restaurant. I'm like, this is great But that's okay. Right. Well, I I'm not saying it's anything wrong with it. No, but I understand what you're saying questioning like, you know, is that or if there's a Should there be hey, I'm a pedophile dude. Can I just go pee by myself somewhere to keep me on Whatever path, you know to keep me away from

Starting point is 01:11:58 You know what I'm saying like how often do you separate it? Yeah, I know exactly these are really difficult Problems to solve because what if you know you're a pedophile, right? You know it pedophile and you don't want to go in there You don't want to go in there because it's just pedophiles are very hydrating Very hydrated pedophile because you make a pedilite and And uh and pedophile Let me just turn that's that's me on your phone. Yeah, just turn it off. Yeah Yeah, because I don't know because it's just like we keep separating everything we keep separating everything, you know Well, we you kind of have to that's the problem like to govern this whole thing. That's the problem with freedom

Starting point is 01:12:39 it's like the oxymoronic thing about freedom is Uh, you know I need to be okay with you doing something different And and you need to be okay with me doing something different But by virtue of the fact that we're okay with us doing something different because we're free We don't want to hang out with each other. So we separate and then somehow you got to be like world It's got to be like a detente like hey man, you're going to that club. I'm going to this club. You believe in that I believe in that

Starting point is 01:13:02 Obviously, we're not going to hang out because we believe different things but that's going to create separation and eventually cause A problem. Yeah that threatens freedom. So it's kind of like this built-in oxymoronic tenant to fucking what freedom is It's like built to fail And that's why authoritarians always come in and just make everything the same You know, and then you're like fuck that was inevitable and then that gets stale because you know You need you need Jewish people to complain in order for things to get better Yeah, you know, like if Hitler got what he wanted They wouldn't nothing would get better because there's nobody around to be like, uh, this place is a little too small

Starting point is 01:13:38 It's a little too hot. We need to change this the food's a little cold And then nobody knows what's good or not. But then that never ends though. Yeah, you got to curtail it back I think at some point you got to Christian it back a little Christian back then it's like if you get so far down that this is wrong This is then you're just at the point where it's like the freedom thing. It's like when is this ever? Right. It's like too negative too negative too negative. Right. Well, it's like whenever There's always going to be a problem. Right, right Like at some point you can't always have a problem right at some point things have got to be like this is good enough

Starting point is 01:14:11 Right, because then that's that that fosters greed because you're like, it's not uh, this is bad. This bad. Maybe this will fix it This will fix it There's a problem every way you look there's a problem every look at everything. It's tough The only way to be okay is for us to just fucking die Do you think I've thought about this sometimes like do you think that humans are supposed to be here? When you look at the rest of nature, it's really interesting. It's like You know, it's really

Starting point is 01:14:39 fascinating to me at this point in my life I believe that We're our perspective Is as involved in what reality is as reality is In and of itself, huh? You know what I mean like me and you could be going through the same

Starting point is 01:14:59 town Right And like let's say i'm hungry like what walking through it or driving Well, we're strolling. Okay. We're strolling or does that even matter? It doesn't even matter, but I like the visual of it We're walking hanging out. We're talking. All right. It's a real mellow talk. We're chilling Your mother's moving a little bit because it's a little breeze. Oh, yeah My hair looks stupid because my mother-in-law cut it Yeah, I got to figure out a way to get out of that but that keeps happening

Starting point is 01:15:24 Well, you guys live with her. Well, you know, I told her once I got another haircut And she like made some like passive aggressive comments and now I'm like I'm locked into this haircut Dude when I was young this lady miss bobby used to cut my hair, right? And she wasn't even I don't know if it's haircut or not But she had a stroke one time and I didn't know what had happened I didn't know if she was doing something or whatever. I just met her And so I fucking sat in this room bro in the hair cutting chair

Starting point is 01:15:49 While she laid on the floor for like six minutes. I had no idea what was going on What was did you ever find out or uh, yeah, her daughter came in the room and was like, oh my god They're having a stroke and they call the ambulance. But it was crazy, man. I just remember I didn't know I didn't know if she'd taken a nap or if she was just so old or something You know that caused any trauma for you while you're getting haircut. Are you like do you keep asking? Are you okay? I actually ended up cutting my own hair at some point in my life for like probably 17 15 17 years. Yeah, but um So we're walking in the place. Okay, you're hungry. I'll say you're hungry. I want to fuck. All right, right? So since we're walking we're inhabiting the same reality

Starting point is 01:16:28 But you're you're driven by a desire to eat. I'm driven by a desire to fuck So you're gonna notice all the food places. I'm gonna notice all the whores. Okay, so our realities are different So Our desires and our perceptions. I think create what reality is as much as what it actually is We're walking through the same place. Right, but we're noticing different things So the reality is different for both of us even though there's this blank slate of what it is So it's sort of that thing does a does a does a tree make a sound in the forest if nobody's there to hear it um, yes and no

Starting point is 01:17:05 because You need the Faculty of sound to be able to hear it. So without humans at all um, it doesn't make a sound but The only way the reason why sound is a phenomenon is because we have ears So we wouldn't even be asking a question if there was no people here So you need both for even the question to be asked

Starting point is 01:17:28 So we're part of this we're like look you built this whole shit This is your imagination. Like this is like this is just this is just a manifestation of ideas This is part of reality now, but this was in you. You were like, I like this picture here I want that thing there. I want smart waters for my guests This is there's this is all this is Theo like manifested So like you've this is reality, right? But this is you've made it and this is like you've you've built it You built reality You know reality wasn't here without you. It's like

Starting point is 01:18:00 You know, so it's it's a little bit of a symbiotic relationship happening at the same time So we kind of like build reality while we're going like a dark tunnel with nothing Well, do you think that we've sometimes I wonder if years from now we'll look back and be like, holy shit. We went down a crazy uncomfortable Path of the reality we built, you know, and like will we look back and be like, oh man that whole path they took was wrong And this is the correct way to go like I just feel like sometimes we've gotten so far from like nature and things that it really like Intrinsically like make us feel good

Starting point is 01:18:33 Maybe that we're so far from those receptors even That it's getting like kind of not dour because life is you know, there's a lot of great moments, but overall is it is And I what it could just be American society doing well, you know, I don't know comfort corrupts eventually It feels like that a little bit. It does. Maybe you're right Maybe like we would feel more fulfilled if we were still hunting and Women still had hair on their vaginas and stuff like that. There was a little a little more unpleasant trees We were used to because when you make things pleasant pleasant pleasant and you want more pleasant more pleasant

Starting point is 01:19:07 You're like, yeah, oh, there's no hair to choke. I'm gonna meet your pussy But now I want her pussy tastes like honeydew and you just keep going and you keep going. Yeah To like you actually start putting syrup in there. Yeah. Yeah, which is where we're at Which is where we're at like if there's no if it doesn't taste like syrup then we're a little dissatisfied Yeah, I mean people are selling freaking, you know, uh condiments and stuff like that for the body in the crotch um What else man? We had some good news topics that came up. What happened? What's happening in the news guys?

Starting point is 01:19:35 Let me see. What do we have here? Is that you as abraham lincoln I guess it is. Yeah Someone made that that's really a nice thing. Somebody drew with all the different faces on it That's very cool. All the podcast and for everything fell apart. Yeah Because it used to be a real scene, right and now it's like yeah, it still is it's just like more individual scenes, you know Yeah, do you feel that because you guys were doing it? Well, you guys did you first you guys had history history hyenas, right? Yeah, me and chris and what happened was there a reason you guys to uh took it off. He just run its course

Starting point is 01:20:09 Yeah, kind of ran its course. He wanted to do different things and uh, you know, uh, I wanted to do different things and uh You know, we ended it kind of on a high note. I guess like, you know Um, I know there's a lot of speculation about it and all this but you know, it was there Yeah, there's a lot of speculation, but in retrospect when you look back you're like, yeah, I'm kind of we're probably both glad it ended When it did and then fans should be happy it ended when it did, you know It got a real cult following people really into it Me and chris had a real rhythm that we built and uh, it was this two-man comedy, which I love man. It's like I love that I love that. I just love feeling it, you know

Starting point is 01:20:44 It's like me and you would be real good friends because it's not totally smooth But there's moments with smooth, but if we spent a lot of time together it would get really smooth Oh, wow, but it's real. I mean the the bumpy moments are kind of real, right? That's yeah, that's how I kind of like like my wife because I usually I'd like if I was seduced by a girl I'd fall in love with her and then it would turn to shit and I'm like, that's not the right way to go And then the people who I want to be around it's always a little there's work because anything that's real takes work Yeah, so like my wife. I didn't have a great time the first time. She bored the hell out of me. I hope she doesn't watch his podcast Really? Yeah, she bored the hell out of me. She just sat there fucking silent

Starting point is 01:21:19 And I remember my friend who unfortunately is going through a rough time right now But he told me I was complaining about I was like, she doesn't talk. She doesn't say anything He's been married for a long time and he was going he was going he was going like that So you're complaining about that? And then that changed my perspective which changed my reality I was like, oh shit. Maybe that is a good thing long term that she's kind of chill Comfortable in her own skin doesn't need to talk all the time Because people need to talk all the time are usually covering up for the fact that they're they feel insecure

Starting point is 01:21:48 They're bored and I changed my whole fucking outlook on it Wow, and then you end up marrying her and I ended up marrying her. So it's like I love I love the two man I love like I had a character and I had a my friend who passed away Angelo We did this live show and this we did this two-man comedy man like Angelo Bowers. No, uh, Angelo, uh, Lazada New York comic and uh, he passed away and um, it was just there's something magical about when you're connecting with someone on a comedic vibe and The two you don't know where it's going. Yeah, you create something bigger than yourself But anytime you're creating something bigger than yourself Is a beautiful thing

Starting point is 01:22:22 I think a lot of times people get depressed or anxious because they're thinking about themselves too much because we're boring The thing is we may think we're great, but we're all just kind of like shitty humans walking around shitting and pissing and having itchy balls And like we're dying slowly with air air hardening is happening to us Isn't that wild that oxygen the same thing that keeps us alive is also slowly killing us. That's what happens Really, just like a fruit. Damn fruit. The air gives the fruit life But if you if you leave it too long that air actually kills the fruit it rots it that's air exposure overexposure Damn, it's like Aaron Brockovich kind of it's

Starting point is 01:22:56 It's exactly like Aaron Brockovich And um, so I love that two-man thing and that's what me and chris had and um And maybe it just kind of reached its thing where it was like, all right, we did it You know and like when you look back you're kind of like that That comedy exists for the three years and then he's doing great stuff. I'm doing something different and Was it scary to change that would be the part that's scary for me to the scary part to change to think like, okay Something else is going to come along that's going to fill this space Or I'm gonna this is going to affect my creativity or it's going to affect my

Starting point is 01:23:27 Livelihood even like my ticket sales or my people to be able to hear me Did those kind of things come into your head because that's that comes into my head because I do another podcast You know, I think about well if I didn't do this or or if I didn't do this or you know Now we're all our own businesses so much that it's like if I let go of one little segment of my business Is that going to mess everything up? It gets scary. Yeah, I used to worry a lot more with that I didn't worry at all and even thinking about it when you were asking it is like I don't I guess I guess that means I matured a little bit because it's like maybe you believe in yourself a little more You just trust

Starting point is 01:24:02 Something's gonna happen. You believe in your talents and also taking me accepting my own mortality Which was something that always scared me. Yeah Helps because it takes the pressure off everything It's like if it's good or it's not it doesn't matter like because it's ephemeral It's going away anyway So might as well try to connect to people might as well try to have a good time Whether there's money involved or not as long as I'm having a good time The experience is the same like if me and you were sitting here. This is a huge podcast, right?

Starting point is 01:24:34 Um, if it was a small podcast What would be the difference in the feeling that me and you were having there'd be no difference Yeah, right. There'd be no difference between like what we're trying to do here trying to get to know each other Which is a you know challenge for like we're just meeting each other too and it's filmed because why not monetize that in this era And it's like sometimes my wife talks. I'm like don't speak unless you fucking we've got cameras rolling Um, so You know the day I invited a friend up that I don't know but I kind of a buddy out for lunch And I was like, fuck it feels insane inviting somebody out, but not a podcast

Starting point is 01:25:09 Because it gets so busy but go on I interrupt. Yeah. Yeah. No, but I was just saying it's uh, that takes the pressure off for me a lot That takes the pressure off when I think about that and I put things into perspective and go like When you're talking about do I get scared like we're scared about like us it's gonna hurt my ticket sales or my livelihood That fear always creeps in but then I realized like Even if it does You know I'm dying anyway, or even if it doesn't and I get money. I'm still dying anyway So hopefully I'm having a good time. Damn

Starting point is 01:25:39 And the one thing I did the silver lining from having that moment when I got shot And that I can share and it is an experience that not a lot of people have that I did have Where you think you're gonna die in that moment you think it's over and I did not like the way I felt Because you have this moment. It's like a dream where you It's hard to explain like, you know, like a dream. It's like how did that happen in two seconds? How did I how did that whole story happen? And then scientists are saying like it only happens in a second your brain somehow does that thing where you get like this recap Where you look at yourself you have this feeling about who you are what you've done everything

Starting point is 01:26:14 And uh, I was like, oh, I didn't like it. And so thankfully I was able to not die then But I also burned with this knowledge of like fuck. I don't want to feel that again So like when I have that moment when I'm dying, I want to be chill I want to be able to be like I like who I am. I like what I did. I like the way I lived I was true to whatever it is. I want to do who I am And I tried at least or to be brave or to be me or whatever it is Was it it felt important in that moment and like uh, wow So I guess that's the silver lining of that moment

Starting point is 01:26:46 It sucked other than that and like knowing like oh, shit. That's what you live for you live for that moment You want that moment to be peaceful? You want that moment because that moment is coming there's no way to avoid it for any of us So all this other shit comes and goes ups and downs, but that shit is a certainty and you have that moment of awareness That's interesting. Are you able to recreate that moment in the any other way in your life that you've noticed since then? Or the moment where are there times you're like, oh, this is a little bit of a recreation of that? No, wow. No, no, there's so much going on It's so weird that fucking moment, man. It's a weird moment. Fuck. Where were you laying down?

Starting point is 01:27:22 No, I was in the car. You were sitting in the car sitting in care dealing with him while it was happening And also that's why I'm saying it's so weird Was also like having all these thoughts, you know and like feelings about people I love bad things I've done You're bleeding. I'm bleeding. It's all happening. It happens in a second The sound that I can't even remember the sequence of it. It's just kind of happening and you're in the moment And uh, you're in two places. I'm in the moment reacting doing the things I was doing with him like we were tussling and uh I was also like someplace else in this fucking like last moment place

Starting point is 01:27:56 Where you're something in you knows like, oh, shit. This is it because I didn't think I was living I mean, I'm in a car. I know I'm shot. It feels ominous. You know, I don't know. I just you my mind just went This I'm dying. This is it. It's over the whole thing's over You're in this effect. You we you can cognitively know you can cognitively say to yourself Life is finite, but you can't really feel it. No, you can't feel it unless you're in it And then you're like, oh fuck and it's all like the the reality of it being so ephemeral and all going away It's just like it's freaky, man. It's like uh, just now when I was talking about I was like, oh, that's free It's a you feel like yeah when you get that feeling sometimes like this is all gonna disappear one day

Starting point is 01:28:38 It's fucking like just now. I felt translucent. I felt invisible just even when I was talking about I felt like uh blurry It's like, oh, fuck. This is all blurry You know in its essence. It's like really like an abstract painting. There's nothing Defined and we're on the way. It's weird and so I don't know that was a good that was a silver lining of that moment. Damn But it also takes the pressure off. It's scary, but it takes the pressure of going like, oh, well, you know, Yeah, if you're having fun What's the difference? Yeah, cuz sometimes I'm like am I how much fun? What am I doing?

Starting point is 01:29:08 How much pressure am I putting on myself? You know, I think about those things all the time. Am I working to, you know, just like It's hard sometimes to um Do you have any like hobbies you like to do outside like something else where you're not thinking about? Yeah, I like doing jiu-jitsu and I like doing um What else do I like doing playing wordle playing scrabble on my phone? Um, how do you feel when you're doing those things? You probably feel no anxiety when you do those things pretty chill. Yeah Yeah, that's what I like talking to my brother Um, those are all chill fucking dessert. I'm a dessert. It's a great moment. That's a real good moment. Yeah, that brings a lot of good feelings

Starting point is 01:29:44 I had a couple last night boy had too many. I like going to different meetings and shit. Uh What um, let's let's pull that news story that came back up. Let's get it one more time I'm curious as to what happened with the wedding and stuff like Where you said did you have dating issues? Where was just some of your stuff there? Because I have a ton of that shit, man Yeah, well the married the wedding Material you talking about all the wedding material, but no just like you said like, you know, you didn't think you were gonna get married Cuz I worry about that sometime. I was scared man. Like when it came when it comes to commitment for me It's real hard. It's real hard and I had the same experience

Starting point is 01:30:17 For me. It's real hard. It's real hard and I had the same thing I I give a lot of credit to my buddy Paul Verzi was a comic who Has been married for a long time Has kids they're kind of growing up was kind of like married before He started making money as a comedian and that was like his priority was family and that's what he wanted And uh, he just helped me he kind of was my like he was like my maverick He got him me in with that like he helped me get the ring. He showed me where to go He talked me through the feelings like on the night I was gonna propose. This is

Starting point is 01:30:49 Honest to god truth. I felt everything in my body was like I just want to leave Wow, I just wanted to get in the car and drive like Thelma and Louise I don't even know where I was going drive away or drive away. I didn't want to do it every fear hit me And then I did it And it felt incredible It was incredible When I did it, but it was the opposite before I could I was couldn't sit still in my skin Like I was just I could feel that. Oh god. I was just uncomfortable. I wanted to leave

Starting point is 01:31:20 I wanted to get out of my body out of the situation But okay, so you have those feelings, but were was it telling you the situation is wrong? The feeling was telling me the situation is wrong. Everything's wrong. I was doing everything But it was just the fear of commitment. You know as a fear of commitment It was the fear of the choice. I was making which I knew would have consequences That was something outside of myself and it has to do with my issues growing up and uh, it's hard It's hard to face that shit. That's the scariest thing I could ever think of. Yeah, and look marriage is like It's it's work

Starting point is 01:31:55 But it's like stand-ups work too, right? And we love stand-up. We love comedy. It's work sometimes Um, but like flying on planes and doing all that shit's work, but then when we're on stage That's the good part. So it's like it's real our our love for stand-up is real and I look at my love for my wife And I'm like, it's real, you know, we fight We have different opinions but Overall like we support each other all the good you get out of it is just puts everything in perspective About everything else is not being important and like it's family. You have a new family. Yeah, and family never leaves

Starting point is 01:32:32 and You have a womb you're like you have a cozy's place You have a cozy place where you can she's asleep. Like, you know, I go down in The basement I put my hand on my balls. I watch a game and I feel I'm at home And that's just a nice feeling even if she's not with me which sometimes is nice. She's in another way. Yeah Jesus more rooms. That's why it's like Fucking more rooms basements upper basements. Yeah, and then when you have a kid, it's like That's the thing man. I mean, I hate to be so cynical about it

Starting point is 01:33:05 But no, this is all interesting because I feel a lot of these things a lot of people do I think I mean even when I'm watching You're special in the talking about the wedding and stuff and just a lot. It's like fuck when you have a kid You realize what the meaning of life is it's pretty Cynical it's no different than a string bean or a cockroach. It's like the meaning of life is kind of just like to reproduce That's what all animals are doing and when you do it. It's like nature. You don't even have a choice You just have these feelings of you know You loving something more than yourself and then you're like everything just feels easier because like oh you're like oh

Starting point is 01:33:39 That's that's what it's about. You're a little like oh, this is fucking this isn't that this is it's pretty cynical Like there's no like great philosophy to figure out or no apex feeling It's just like to give to her or him or they or they be or whatever your kid I them. Yeah, it's just one but Yeah, we only have one seat. Yeah But uh, that that takes you out of yourself. So maybe anything that takes you out of yourself. Oh, yeah makes you happy Something bigger than you or outside of you. Yeah, that's the root of a lot of recovery stuff too Is just feeling better is just getting out of yourself because I I respect addicts the most In fact, I like I tell my really good friend who's an addict that he's my role model and I mean that

Starting point is 01:34:22 Because I know what he has to do. I know what he has to go through And he's built a family and he's sober and just being sober and that he works out so much and put his addiction Another play it's just I know how hard what he does is I know what he's going through I have people very close to me who have who have Lost that battle for now in big ways that are painful Um, and then him to be able to day by day He's just my role that strength for me. Like that's who I look up to Like I look up to him really it has none to do a career or anything like that

Starting point is 01:34:55 It's like, you know, I know he's he's fighting that battle and I I just I have all the respect for people who have to do Who go through that, you know, I've been lucky enough. It's just lucky that you don't have that Yeah, it's like my dad my dad told me he it was very cynical But he told me everyone it's luck most of life is luck And that was very disconcerting here as a young person But the way he explained is like even if you have your health like even Michael Jordan you go, oh, Michael Jordan That's not luck. That's yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it is. But like he's lucky. He didn't get hit by a car He's lucky

Starting point is 01:35:28 We're always lucky if we're like healthy or like, you know, nothing bad's happened because we don't control that shit You know, they could be a shooter come in here right now and end us. Yeah, you already got shot. Yeah So at this point Probably gonna be your boy right here. Yeah, bro. The chances happens twice. I don't want that No, you don't want that But yeah, I can just totally man my whole life I've had that commit that when it comes to relationships and stuff like that commitment, you know, like not even Never wanting to be totally attached to somebody else, you know, like

Starting point is 01:35:59 Even my girlfriends I would introduce them a lot of times by their first And I would just say this is my friend or this is like I would never want to fucking have somebody else Have a say in who I was, you know Um That means you're independent. You're strong. It does but it's also about commitment. Like, you know, it's really about That's for some it could be independence, but I think some of it's about like, um Yeah, I just want to be totally stand on my own and I don't want if somebody thinks something of that person I don't want it to them think of like it's like I have some

Starting point is 01:36:31 You don't want to it's a negatively reflect on you. Right. Yeah, which is kind of a crazy selfish way to think It's not even it's not a choice. I make it's something that was baked into me Right, you know, it's something that I know isn't healthy or conducive to feeling okay Isn't it weird how we're like these sensitive like of this all the species we're like this This most sensitive with feelings and Freudian issues like a turtle doesn't think about his childhood Yeah, the turtle's not like my mom didn't But it's very valid for humans. It's weird Like they don't have issues

Starting point is 01:37:05 They don't need therapy animals don't need therapy. Yeah, it's why that's why sometimes I'm like, are we this loose end of existence? That's not are we like the appendix, you know, are we like this Thing that wasn't supposed to be there like, you know, like the show lost kind of are we like the thing that Wasn't supposed to happen if you line all the animals and stuff up like we kind of fit in a little Yeah, but we're definitely the outsider for sure big time. We need pavement. We need toilets Yeah, that's a good question. Maybe this is just an evolutionary mistake like a You know, like a byproduct of like that evolutionary will that carries species

Starting point is 01:37:46 through time Into survival and maybe we're just uh, yeah, maybe we're just a product of that will and then you're like, uh, Well, the end result of that is not supposed to be What it is because we because we kind of mastered it all the other animals Still have some weaknesses, but we're like Superman of the species Yeah, we're making shows about me. It's like we're like we're like Yes, we're like, yeah, like we're making shows about life and we're like you're living it. We're like we're doing it twice Right. Yeah, we're doing holograms. We're perfecting. We're making it look perfect even though it's not right. It's like

Starting point is 01:38:22 Yeah, it's interesting man. It's interesting to think uh, yeah, but then also I can feel a god a lot of times I can feel that there's a power that's greater than me. You know gotta be so it's like that Makes you think you're connected to something else that there is some purpose, you know, because I can I mean I have no doubt that I feel a god, you know, so I mean it's just my perception Maybe maybe that's what it's maybe we evolved In order to To fucking bitch all the other species who think they're the shit because they walk around arrogant. They're not humble with the only Animal, yeah, right? I mean fucking lions walk around like their shit don't stink dude and it's like look I get it

Starting point is 01:39:06 You're beautiful. They're so beautiful. They're fucking killing machines and they run shit, but not anymore Not anymore, dude. We'll get some fat lazy trophy hunter Who's the CEO over here who wants to feel because he's got too much who come and just shoot you for sport So don't fucking walk around like all like that. It's not like that anymore It's not all like that. You can't be rolling around the jungle like that So maybe we like we get humbled by god Maybe we're their god and that's was our purpose because they were fucking acting up Maybe they were all sinning like why the fuck they got to be dicks like that

Starting point is 01:39:39 Why does hyena have to kill his his brother and sister just to you know Just because he wants to be the the bad one and show his mother that he can survive more. Why not why not help him? Why not find out what he's good at? He's your brother. He's not as strong as you but maybe he's good at puzzles or some shit Yeah, yeah, yeah raccoons eat their children if they want to have more sex. They're probably going to hell That's bad. That's sinning. They have to so maybe we were like their god and being punishing them You could easily if you open the door to imagine you open the door to hell and there aren't a million raccoons in there You would have to be disappointed you'd be like, dude They're allowed to do that and I'm going to hell because I cheated on my math test. That would be that would be bad

Starting point is 01:40:23 Dude, there's a picture of some dogs having sex when we're young and my brother and I both hug and one of the dogs around the neck Pretty cool. Wait say that again. There's a picture of two dogs mating our neighbor's dogs Yeah, my brother and I both hug and one of the dogs around the neck. We don't know that they're mating Oh, okay. I just think they're buddies or you know, like yeah, because you said that I was like best friends that it that way That's a that's a moment right there. Yeah, well, they were fucking it. You just guys got it Great picture probably never never happened. Yeah, you might that might be one of the only times Two people hug two animals while they were mating and got a picture out of it. Yeah Like that that's one of those rare things you like to is the owner's brother the only people who did that who made that happen

Starting point is 01:41:02 Yeah, you could google that right now would not be there. That's one of those things You could google most things that something would come up. I guarantee you if he googles right now Two brothers hugging two animals fucking let's see brothers hugging two animals fucking zero comes up. Yeah brothers hugging uh Mating animals mating animals I told you I told you what's the closest thing we got is there anything right there? What's that picture with the two humans in it? No, no, that's autism Damn Every time they sneak that autism hug in there, baby. Damn every time, baby. Damn

Starting point is 01:41:43 I love if there's anything like human hugging fuck Human hugging sex animals. It's always Let's hit a couple news topics and then we'll get you on it's out of here You got to make sure to catch his special mom love I can only vouch for the first 34 minutes of it, but man, it was awesome dude. Thank you and thank you for saying that Thank you for having me. I really appreciate this is the way to like get the word out and like you got a big audience So I appreciate you having me man. Yeah, it's cool man. I'm glad to get to meet you and spend time with you um

Starting point is 01:42:14 Yeah, I can't believe we haven't over the years kind of but then once podcasts have started people don't see each other As much in a weird way. Yeah Yeah, yeah, I guess so and there was always the kind of the west coast east coast thing That kind of kept people apart I guess you guys would come in and and do o and a and that's how you'd meet some east coast guys. Oh, that's true Yeah, and otherwise like yeah, that there was just that separation podcast has kind of bridged that gap a little bit That's a good point. Well, we started doing podcasts because we saw how rich you guys were getting Oh people were thinking that yeah, oh hell. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the ones of us who were fucking

Starting point is 01:42:46 You know have some smarts at least you're going Jesus Christ not only are they Making money, but they're having a blast. Yeah, they're having a good fucking time Like why would we go do six sets a night? You know to go perform on some late night show, you know, and when nobody's watching these guys are having a great time Yeah, we were like looking at a party We were like, you know, we're like looking at that party going on and we're like our party sucks But we didn't want to admit that it sucks and finally someone's got to go dude Just because it's our party

Starting point is 01:43:18 We got to stop thinking our party is great because we want to depend defend our party because you know It's like that thing we're like I can make fun of my brother, but you can't yeah kind of thing Like even though I know he's stupid, but I only I could say you can't and then you're going like dude Just like join the party man. They're having a blast. They're making comedy They're having fun. They're talking to each other to laugh and yeah and making a new type of comedy This is a new thing like stand-up was a thing that came along during vaudeville with there was no technology We could film anything and now it's like this is a new thing. It's like a mixture of like improv riffing stand-up

Starting point is 01:43:55 I don't know what it is, but it's not just radio. It's not just uh, like Jokes it's like a it's a podcast. It's yeah ethos Yeah, and it's so I mean there's so many now too. It's like I mean a few years ago There was literally even three years ago And I feel like it like doubles the the amount of them doubles. I wonder how often Because it's crazy like people years ago that were like, I remember Chris Dillio's like, I'm never doing a fucking podcast I remember Amy Schumer was like

Starting point is 01:44:25 Poo poo, you know, and then now everybody's done one Or if they can do when they do one, you know, yeah, even people that's damn rich I think biden does one. I don't even know. He didn't even know if he does one If you ask him, he might say yes That freaking child predator. Yeah um Let's look at this right here. Oh, did you see this the man? What is this about? This is the guy that attacked chappell

Starting point is 01:44:58 Says he was triggered. Yeah. Yeah, what is it? Yeah, which is it also it says an apparent change of an apparent change of tune um That seems like an attorney's probably told him to say this, huh? Yeah, that's a good call. Yeah. Yeah, that gives him much more of a leg to stand on I feel like Yeah, he gets like, hey, this will get some people behind you I thought this was fake actually when I first heard about this Oh, lia's quoted as saying I identify as bisexual. I wanted him to know what he said was triggering

Starting point is 01:45:32 I wanted him to the next time he should consider first running his material by people it could affect Can you imagine? No The arrogance of that statement Well, if this guy's buyer, you know, the male side of him should have freaking attacked him I'll say that Well, it's just I don't you can't you can't Then you can don't don't need to listen to this man Go listen to a man or woman that you didn't really enjoy I think right, uh

Starting point is 01:46:00 I thought they hired somebody to do this. I really really did I also like it thought that with the slap, you know, Hollywood's 9 11 the will smith and chris rock slap at first I was like, that's fake. I think a lot of people thought Because I guess a lot of people, you know, we stage shit now everything. Everyone's got to make a spectacle To uh online. That's what it's become. You know, yeah, it's like uh because we It gets views. I mean the news even does that right? They just create a spectacle with their headlines and their Fear mongering and all that because it gets views. We're all competing to get attention So inevitably you're like did they stage that for attention? There's always a

Starting point is 01:46:39 question in your brain Yeah, and they beat the guy up pretty good um But I even if if I'm if I'm somebody I don't have anything going on You're like, hey, I'll give you half a mil 200,000 Some guys are gonna break a couple at your bones. Can you handle it? If I'm already bi-sexual, I'm probably by Joints or whatever. Sure. I'd probably take a shoulder out of socket

Starting point is 01:47:00 So you say it even though you got beat it there is a chance it could still be It could still be fake. Oh, I I I'm not saying that it definitely isn't but I would not have been shocked I think you could find a guy for 200 grand. Yeah, that would take a Taking an ass whipping and go potentially. He's not gonna go to jail. Do you think he'll go to jail? That's I heard he's getting out, but I mean it happened in Los Angeles, right? I feel like that's what happens in Los Angeles criminals get out. Yeah get off now So, I mean, uh, especially if he says he was triggered by jokes I feel like they go like, oh, we we must have had the wrong guy

Starting point is 01:47:34 But then I guess if you're trans say if you're trans and this guy's in trans. Well, he doesn't say he says he's bi But then this dude is like you're dang He's like you're uh, Rudy Roodiger kind of, isn't he? You know, I'm saying like if you're really on that side of the boat, he's like you're john brown He's uh, I don't know who john brown is john brown was down for cleveland No, john brown was uh, the dude who attacked the armory to protest slavery He was down for the like he did the crazy like kind of suicide mission. Oh, he did attack the armory and Yeah, he was like down for the cause, but it's are people like heroizing this guy or the gay and trans community hero hero

Starting point is 01:48:15 Hising him. I don't know. That's a good question. I don't know I don't know how they I think he just came out saying this So maybe they're maybe they're having their meeting now to figure out How to praise him? Maybe they're having their media meeting to go like, oh, you know now we can Now we can like him. I don't know what they're doing. Oh, yeah, because he's adding in also plus jokes earlier in the night Made by an opener talking pedophilia rocked lee as well. He says he was sexually abused as a minor Well, that's one of the side effects of being a damn minor these days. I feel like dude

Starting point is 01:48:52 You got to get I mean you got to get into a better industry if you guys are underground somebody's gonna touch your ass on the way up yeah, I'm Disconcerting how much of that is going on like how much I love how the guy's arm is out of socket and they still cuff him. Yeah. Oh my god Yeah, dude, the lord already cuffed this dude Seems a little redundant. Yeah, I mean his arm is backwards. Yeah How did they even get his arm back normal? I mean it looks like he's an action figure and like you pop it out Put it out a different way. That's 200,000 man. They spat on me and twisted me as if on purpose

Starting point is 01:49:37 Yeah, no, they definitely they definitely didn't do it on accident. He said as a no, they weren't doing it They didn't break your arm on accident man. Good at least he's aware of that This is interesting right here. I told him my mother and grandmother who fought for his civil rights to be able to speak Would be upset at the things he said This is a perfect example of what you were talking about earlier where things go kind of this full circle way where it's like You you want What were you saying earlier? You said It's like you want to get these freedoms, but at a certain point that kind of like get too free. Yeah

Starting point is 01:50:09 Yeah, it's a stuff. There's nowhere to go. Like, uh, yeah, you know, it's like dude, don't you know You you know how Do you know how Contradictory what you're saying you're saying my grandparents fought for this rate. You're like, yeah, that's why he's a multi-millionaire comedian Speaking freely right who's black right exactly like that's the end of the right. Yeah That's the end of the road point the end or that's you're doing you're doing what the cops would do to him back Then or maybe sometimes now but you're doing what like white america would have done to him back then

Starting point is 01:50:43 So what you're saying makes no fucking sense. You're being the bad person But he doesn't see that he has no awareness of it. Yeah Yeah, he's shutting down a black man doing comedy getting paid millions of dollars having being adorned by All these people who have paid to see him. You're stopping that because uh, you think you're doing it for civil rights It's twisted logic Well, it's interesting because it's like what's the thing then is it the vet the fact that you don't want him to like If the money is not involved then And it kind of changes it. What do you mean? Well, I guess like

Starting point is 01:51:18 Man, it's sort of thinking say stuff Like You want him to be able to speak I don't know what i'm saying exactly what you're saying if the money's not involved Well, it's like civil rights like you want to you know freedom of speech like if your grandfather He says my grandmother fought freeze freedom of speech, right, right? So now he has that freedom of speech, right? But is it because he's making money like why?

Starting point is 01:51:47 Why did he do it? What's his reasoning why he did it? And what determines like is it what determines if his speech is? Free or not like at what point is it the fact that he's making I don't know what i'm saying exactly Well, I mean the ridiculous thing is he's making jokes, right? So that's a weird it means your society is in a weird place when the gestures are being attacked Because right this is specifically a place where he's making jokes. He's making jokes man I mean he says on the sign. It's like this is a comedy show. It's a comedy weekend I mean if even this guy knows that I mean Dave Chappelle is a comedian

Starting point is 01:52:25 If you Dave Chappelle does not work at an auto body shop Yeah, he's a comedian everyone knows who he is people aren't paying to go watch him fix a car They're watching him do jokes. And so when comedians are getting attacked you start going like oh Society may be getting a little unhealthy because the kings You know, they would keep a jester around To keep them honest to tell them the truth with jokes. That's what we do We sugarcoat the truth a little bit. So it's like, you know, I just want to say like hey, maybe the jester's right Right, isn't that what we do? We kind of put a little candy over the truth like

Starting point is 01:53:00 Yeah, if you don't want to hear the jester anymore, then that's a little bit strange Then there's something something strange Something's off. The society's not healthy. And it's the black community keeps attacking their own kind. Yeah, which is bizarre That is bizarre All right, what else we got any other good news story came in Sometimes it's nice podcast because I don't have to go deal with the rest of my life. Isn't that crazy even though it's a great life It's like just have to make choices and do things. I think the same reason why you listen to a podcast or watch a movie It's like sometimes it's like you just don't want to have to

Starting point is 01:53:34 I don't know. I sound ungrateful. No, but I know what you're saying is right now. You're in the moment You're not thinking about tough stuff. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah, I'm not having to think about tougher stuff You know my sister's trying to buy a house. I'm gonna help her look at that It's like I'm gonna have to make choices about you know all cool stuff, but it's like There just feels like less responsibility right now Well, that's why the audience probably connects with it so much because like you said you're doing the same thing they're doing We're both taking a break. Yeah, you're taking a break. The audience taking a break and when it's over It's like oh right now. I gotta go help my sister buy a house. I gotta get back to shit

Starting point is 01:54:07 Yeah There's probably someone watching right now who also is helping their sister buy out. Yeah, that's true What do we have here? Yeah, here's an interesting one new york high court to determine if bronx zoo elephant is a person Um, why not? Why not 2022? Why not? Is it a person? I mean, what is going on? Has it paid taxes? That's what I want to know I mean, how would they even mix those two up? How would they

Starting point is 01:54:43 If it was a person, how did they get how did it get to a point where an article needed to be written that they were going to investigate Whether it was true How do you mistake those two things one's like 10 tons the other is like 300 pounds if it eats fast food There's a big difference Jesus christ says that Can she can can the elephant be considered a person a question was before new york's highest court wednesday In a closely watched case or whether a basic human right can be extended to an animal. Oh, so it's more that okay It's more the rights of the animal

Starting point is 01:55:17 They said it's in a one-acre prison You know this goes back to like Black have you seen that movie black? Black fish It's about like black something happened to black fish even like whenever whales or whatever With the zoo and they put him in there in san diego and people got upset about it um

Starting point is 01:55:40 but it's like Do you think if you see a like The animal's safer in this space, but is it getting its true Existence I think that's the question and it's almost the same thing we've been talking about with humans It's like we're safer in this space for sure. There's bumpers on everything. There's insurance. There's lawyer There's you're as safe as you could be you can buy braces through the mail A woman the other night had me sign her the metal leg and it had like a

Starting point is 01:56:13 A little thing in it where it also sorts coins on the side of it, right? Like We're living in a fucking brook stone, right? But are we getting The are we getting the most the most Natural experience that's almost what's happening here, right? Right. Is are we not fulfilled? Is it the most fulfilling? Yeah, it's exactly what's happening here. Yeah, the non-human rights project wants her to move from a one-acre prison at the zoo to a more spacious sanctuary Because with all these things they're like just set them free Yeah, well, this doesn't even sound like they're returning them to their natural habitat where they'd be this is like they're getting uh, they're just

Starting point is 01:56:52 They're upgrading their you're from a condo to a mansion To have more spacious, you know They'd still have that same safety or whatever. Yeah, I'd say maybe the more humane thing ironically would be to put them back into the Being an elephant Yeah is suited for nature where it can look around, you know, because elephants can intimidate lions, you know Yeah, and that probably makes them feel good and now they don't have that that's taken away You know, I'm like that must build an elephant's self-esteem when lions come around and be like, you know, we're hungry. We may take you down Yeah, an elephant goes dude. I'm 10 tons. You can try it, but I may stop one of you. Yeah, it's gonna be bad for somebody

Starting point is 01:57:34 Yeah, is something gonna come down and say hey You guys are doing it wrong right go back to uh But here's the weird thing if we went back Wouldn't we try to get back here to be safer? I don't know that's the thing and who what or who would keep you in line to Yeah, like if someone came up like if we had to survive against Predators that were trying to kill us like back in the day like hyena saber-tooth tigers And then there was a dude who figured out a way To like effectively keep them at bay who would be would there be a judge or some sort of judge that came in and be like

Starting point is 01:58:12 Dude, dude, dude, you can't advance that much right. We got to keep it like that But then even having that judge is kind of advanced So it's uh, it's a you can't get out of the quagmire. It's uh, you know, you can't escape it we're always gonna try to Find a smart way to out smart these predators and that makes us more human and softer because we use our brain That's what we have gorillas got strength Right. This is almost is this the best case scenario where we are dude if we're just left to deal with predators with jujitsu

Starting point is 01:58:47 I don't know how effective it will be because oh that's essentially what we're advocating for one more generation We'll have some freaking gangsters out there. I think so probably yeah people They're getting some talent man. John Jones could beat a lot of animals. You think so. Yeah, I think so for a second Yeah for for a little bit man. I think um There's room. I mean there's old stories of Dustin Poirier beating, you know 20 raccoons outside of a bar and in uh and Lafayette. So he tried to get jumped by raccoons, bro. It's a dangerous game Yeah, I was just saying look there's uh There is

Starting point is 01:59:22 There's a lot of I think mythology out there about humans fighting animals. Yeah, the greeks used to have a lot of it Did they yeah fighting animals? Yeah, because we try I mean they try like or is this the best is this where we are obviously this is where we are this is We would probably just do this again. I know what you're saying you're basically saying we overdid it Where we took the fun out of it We took like the game out of it which makes you like think and immerses you in the game of like survival because now we can just nuke Predators that's too much. It's not fair. It's not fair man

Starting point is 01:59:57 I always like the idea that people can do uh, like if somebody wants to fight an animal with a knife or something I think that's fair You know, I don't sometimes with the hunting stuff. I'm not an anti hunter at all like But I would love to see more hand-to-hand combat with animals That would be great that would be great to see. Yeah, it's more of a fair fight. I feel like we'd lose a lot That was my only problem Hell yeah, we would do this every week

Starting point is 02:00:23 There's a video some guy losing to a goose at a damn local watering hole. Yeah, there's some guy's kid getting his One of his ears nipped off by a damn, uh, gozzling or whatever. Yeah, I mean even if the gozzling cuts weight It's still unfair It's still fucking he's got that animal strength always got the advantage and that's what I think like we'll always invent a knife In order to compete or else we go extinct Like dude, you know what the crazy shit is we were not the apex predator for most of our existence Only the past couple thousand years Did we figure some shit out but for like hundreds of thousands of years?

Starting point is 02:00:59 Fucking we got eaten. Wow. We didn't figure it out until we teamed up with dogs They they they they ran a lot of the recon they did recon for us and like yo bad shit's coming We hid whatever we needed and they fought off lions for us in chat And then we were able to they gave us some time to sit around and think about it and figure shit out Build a knife because you can't figure out how to build a knife when you're constantly being hunted Yeah, you can't think it's not a moment to think it's like having anxiety all the time. You can't You know, you can't do your best work when you're anxious So oh amen, man

Starting point is 02:01:33 Amen, dude. I feel that at a deep level dude. Um, y'all thanks so much for coming man. Thank you, man It's cool, bro. Really really appreciate it. Nice to meet young camera chat. Yeah. It was a fun ride. Yeah Yeah, it's been a lot of fun and you can check out his special mom love. It's on youtube right now And um, he's got some amazing characters Um That you got to watch on youtube as well. I know they're old and I know you may feel past those in some ways or whatever I I but man so crazy, bro. You got to go watch, uh Watch some more yonah's poppies if you're not familiar with them and um

Starting point is 02:02:06 Yeah, man. Thank you so much for coming on dude. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind. I found I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take a little time For me to set that parking brake and let myself on my

Starting point is 02:02:44 Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories Shine on me To me and I will find a song I will sing it just for you And I've been moving way too fast on the runaway train with a heavy load of my past And these friends that I've been riding on they want something that they're damn they're gonna

This Past Weekend - E394 Yannis Pappas

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