This Past Weekend - E419 Gangsgiving

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Starting point is 00:01:59 I hope somebody, I hope you woke up today and somebody loved you. And you know who I really hope that I hope? I hope. I hope it was yourself. Cause that's the, that's the kicker. You know, I meet a stranger off, you know, I hug him. You have somebody down, you know, fuck, I'll dang hug. I'll hug a dang hitchhiker. You know, I'll put, if there was a hitchhiker and he put his hands in his pockets, I'd put my hand in his pockets at the same time. Just play hot pocket in there. No, no, no rubbing or nothing. Just be there with him. You know, cause you don't know a hitchhiker until you've you know, walked a down or handed a mile in his pockets. You know, it's like, I'm just saying

Starting point is 00:02:51 it could be a hitchhiker and I'll go, I'll stand right, you know, I'll hug him. I'll hug him fast because they're dirty. They got a lot of that interstate dust, you know, you know, a lot of, um, those big trucks throw up a bunch of dirt. And if you're right there, H hiking, baby, a lot of it down, get lodged on you. You'll have a sand dune of just, of just cigarette ash and interstate dirt, just lodged on, you know, in the, in the, in the crevasse of your neck. If you're out there hitchhiking, but you know, I'm amazed sometimes at my ability to be loving towards strangers, but then lacking that same, um,

Starting point is 00:03:43 that same compassion for myself or sometimes for people that are close to me. You know, it's like, I'll give us, you know, I'll take my chances on a stranger, the devil's rose shambo baby, a hitchhiker. I'll take my chances out there before I'll do a, before I'll easily, you know, um, what are we talking about? Oh, loving before I'll be loving to, to someone who is already close to me or is built in my family. A lot of times it's been in my past and that's not my present, uh, but it has been my past. Anyway, not, not a downer. They're just interesting. And it's that time of year, you know, to really, you know, it's that damn time of year to damn, I mean, kiss grandma, kiss that bitch in the kitchen,

Starting point is 00:04:45 you know, just, and I don't even look, if she's had a glass of wine, put a damn blindfold on grandma and damn kiss her, put it, say, look, what was grandpa's favorite song? Put that bitch on and lock on her. Don't be pervin out on her. Don't be trying to touch all in her slip or, or, uh, you know, or damn split a thing of dentine with her, whatever, uh, effedent or whatever it's called effedent. Don't try to, don't be, don't get all pervacious, but I think, look, if you want to put on your sneak on your granddaddy's favorite shirt, if he's passed away, I mean, and put a blindfold on grandma, slow dance in the kitchen, let her put her head on your chest, just be that missy. Hey, I know you miss grandpa. Let me

Starting point is 00:05:43 see. Could I, could I slow dance with you for a minute? No touching. I just want you to put a little old spice in that, uh, make you a little pond of, you know, where your clavicle makes that little pond right there on your neck. If you're hungry, if you leaned out, you can get that little, you make it a little puddle right there. Put your little old spice in that bitch and get grandma up there in the kitchen, dance with her. Do something for somebody. You know, that's what I want to do. Little things. See my sister give her a hug. Text my brother in the morning telling them, telling them I love him. No reason at all.

Starting point is 00:06:28 Just a simple, this simple fact that he, that he graced my heart, that the idea of him, that he visited just my brain. You know, it's not, it's, you know, so I hope, yeah, I hope not everybody has a family member and I hope that you do have somebody that you, that you love or that loves you or that you're able to love yourself on this holiday time. Cause we need it and it's tough and it is what it is, baby. Um, but I'm so grateful to be sitting here with you and, uh, we got a nice little episode here and, um, and yeah, I'm just feeling full, man. I'm feeling full of hope as much as I don't want to be. Sometimes I don't want to be hopeful. You know, there's a part of, there's a part of

Starting point is 00:07:27 me sometimes don't want to be hopeful. You won't see me down there by the hope pond, putting hope meat on my hope hook and just hoping I catch something you want. So I don't want to be hopeful sometimes. Sometimes I'd rather be a curmudgeon. Yes, mom, just talking in four wheel drive, everything. My four, I got a V 10 in my, in my throat. My diesel. I got diesel tonsils. And I'm just every, I want to be hard. Cause it's been hard sometimes to be hopeful. It's hard if you feel like life has burnt you a little. If you feel like the past wasn't what it was supposed to be for you,

Starting point is 00:08:23 you don't want to be hopeful anymore. You want to have that chip on your shoulder. You want to be a shoulder chip baby out there chip chopping and just slanging chips off your shoulder. Step right up. Who needs a chip? Huh? Chips in one shoulder dip on the other. You're just a damn little condiment. You're just a little damn appetizer at that point. But yeah, I'm more willing. I feel like these days to try and be hopeful, just be hopeful. I don't, I didn't want to be hopeful because it's hard. It's, if I admit to the world that I'm willing to have hope, then that means I'm sorry, then that means I'm not willing to hold a grudge.

Starting point is 00:09:13 And sometimes I don't know if I'm a, I'm willing to let go of one of them enough to grab onto that other one. Cause that's where you got to have some faith in there. When you're letting go of the grudges to grasp onto the hope, there's some space in there. And that's man, it's the shortest bit of space, but damn, that is hard. It's hard to get, it's hard to get from one to the other. It's hard to let go of those, that path, that, those things that are, cause they give me power. Oh, I'm angry about this. Fuck this bitch. These people on that,

Starting point is 00:10:00 that, that all gives me a, gives me something I, well, I can always preach at them. But man, if I want to let go of that and reach for that hope, baby, damn, that things could be different and open myself up to opportunity. It's been hard for me to do in my life, but today I'm hopeful that I'm on to something new. Come on, baby. Thank you for being here with me today. I love you. There's a voice calling you. It's the rising sun shining in the darkest alley. Can't you see you can be free? Come on, baby. There we go. And we got into that. And now, mom, something you got to get into it,

Starting point is 00:11:59 baby. Sometimes you got to get damn in there. You got to get in there. Which bam, boys, something you got, man, something I wish I could put just, just completely hide myself inside of my nuts. Don't you? God. Cause I'll say this about nuts. People say this and that about nuts. Oh, them nuts are nasty. You hear women say that. Oh, look at them nasty nuts. He got them old, you know, he got them old 1990s nuts or whatever. Or you'll hear him say, oh, he got them. Look at these cheap nuts. Some woman said that to me once about my nuts. I'm like, what? She's like, yeah, with your cheap ass nuts. And then she hit my nuts like that. Dude, and you know, if you have nuts one quarter,

Starting point is 00:12:50 if you have a quarter square inch of pressure on your nuts, bro, if a damn acorn falls off a seven inch tree and lands on your nuts, bro, it's going to hurt because your nuts is damn, oh, they are insecure. I'll say that. Your nuts are insecure. That's just what they are. But, um, but I'll say this, the skin on your nuts. Damn. Come on. Actually, that's a damn beauty. That's a nice material. There's no doubt if I had a couple of damn, um, some damn ball skin loafers or something to put my feet in while I watch television. Oh boy. If I had some damn, uh, just some dang, um, you know, if I had me some, some nut wall slippers in there, damn, a little bit of

Starting point is 00:13:52 sheepskin on the outside, nut wall on the inside of a pair of dang Christmas slippers. Woo. Santa's coming on my feet, boo boo. I'm the, you know, you ain't stopping me then. You ain't stopping me then, baby. If I had a damn nut coat, if somebody said, damn, what you wearing, boy? Me? Nut. Yeah, that's 80% nut. 20% boss, baby. If I'm not, now I guess some people would get the nut skin, uh, jacket or so. If you couldn't afford it, I'd get the vest because if you show up to a party, baby and you damn, you just vest it out in some just sheer ball skin. If you wearing sheer ball, if you wearing a sheer damn ball vest, and it's going to be nice people, when they going to

Starting point is 00:15:01 invite you in the back room to smoke you a joint or something or get you some bubbly back there where they keep the good stuff, you know, because that's how it goes. It's like at a party, you go to somebody's party and everybody's having the normal amounts of things in the living room and it's, hey, come back over here. If you're doing well at the party, if you're socially acceptable or you're being, you know, enjoyable or you're dancing well or whatever, you brought a couple dames with you and they say, come over here to the back room and it could be anything. If it's just to eat in party, it might be somebody invite you to the back room and they got, you know, just a damn little jar of homemade molasses and they just spooning people out.

Starting point is 00:15:43 Get your little half ounce, you know, get Debbie a little half ounce, but if they got your drug, then it could be drugs, you know. Hey, get your little sack of this. Get your little gram of this. Give Tiffany a little bit of this. Oh, Ron likes them uppers. Make sure you upper Ron. You know, it's just, but if you're wearing damn nuts, boy, come on, son. Now, the tough part is if you got cheap ball skin, you got that shit, you know, you'd have different grades of it. You'd have no hair. You'd have to go probably no hair, I think, but I don't know, bro. You show up with some damn Middle Eastern nuts,

Starting point is 00:16:31 nuts, skin coat or little, even just a, dude, if you had a damn nut skin neck brace, that bitch would be expensive. And if I had that hair on it, you got to keep the hair off of it, I think. I don't think I would want that. And then the different grades of it are the ages. You're like, damn, they got this shit off a 95 year old. That's, you know, and then it's like, Oh, this is Dan, you know, this is some good 45, you know, somebody unfortunately passed away, maybe cancer or I don't know. And then this is where this whole theory is getting a little bit dark. I'm seeing that. But dang, boy, you telling me I don't show up with some uggs made out of dick jug skin.

Starting point is 00:17:22 Come on, baby. The devil's chicken nuggets, baby. Nuts, nuts, Satan's tonsils, baby. You know what I'm talking about. Nuts, ya nuts. But God forbid I roll up with a damn nut skin belt, fresh nut. Like, damn, look at that thing. And I would even, I'd go down probably off a, you know, I don't want to say off it, but off a Asian, probably a brother depends on who, you know, what kind of, what you going for. Because you could do some basic Caucasian nut, but I don't know. Anyway, this is getting a little dark. It's getting a little dark. Happy Thanksgiving is what I'm trying to say. And happy Thanksgiving to you. I am, we got some new stuff. It's that time of year. We got some new items. If you want to

Starting point is 00:18:19 get somebody a gift, you can check out the Hitter Hunting Club Collection. Now available at Theo Von Store.com. We got hoodies and orange and maroon and a couple different items over there. If you'd like to get out in the woods, we want you to feel like you can take this past weekend with you. So we're grateful for that. We got camo hats. If you like eating Thanksgiving with your family, but you want to hide from them at the same time. Because I've seen that, man, we got, you know, you'll have a guy who don't even want to be around his family that much. And so he'll be in a damn deer blind in his house. You love a guy in there and complete camouflage in his own, at his own dinner table. You're like, Hey, dad, please pass the, uh, the pairs. And he picks a pair off his

Starting point is 00:19:14 dang, his camo, because you have like the, the camo he got was cheaper. I had like a tropical vibe to it. And so, you know, it's got pine and like some, you know, bark, but then it also have a couple of damn fruit trees in it, bro. You know, like, damn, this camo is a little, you know, this camo don't, this is a San Francisco camo. You know what I'm saying? Well, I have a damn fruit tree in that bitch. Some of his kill have a damn bird feeder on like, damn, this camo really, it's a three dimensional camo. And he'll then pick a pair and pass it over to his son at the dinner table because they're having trouble communicating and the man can't keep in touch with his own family. Um, I don't know what I'm talking about.

Starting point is 00:20:00 And I never have, I never really have. And, uh, and you guys have always been supportive of me for that or while I've done that. And thank you. Thank you so much. Um, I am, I'm feeling better. It's scary to say that a little bit, but I'm feeling better. Um, even just moments like today where I'm able to sit here and not feel too overwhelmed, uh, and just, man, I'm just grateful. I'm grateful for, um, the people that have been coming out to shows. I'm grateful for the community we've had. Um, I'm looking forward. We're trying to get a new studio. It's not going to look completely different. Okay. We're just trying to get a new facility. Um, a little bit because this one is, we're right close by the elevator.

Starting point is 00:20:59 I mean, we are, I mean, that bitch is, it's right there. So you can, you know, if somebody's going, I can hear somebody picking their nose and that means, so we don't want, you know, we just, and it rattled. We just want to get in the bathrooms are right there. So it's like, you can hear people in there. If some dude's gassed up or he got that body gas or that booty puff on him, you know, if he's burping out his ass, um, we can hear it. You know, the valet guy, they got one dude. He says he's valet, but he's not. He just, it's just a, it's just a dude that gets angry at people for parking. So that's not, that's kind of just an asshole kind of, but he, uh, he got a bad GI tract on him.

Starting point is 00:21:48 I mean, he gots a damn, that dude's got some humidity in his butt cause he'll, you hear him in there, just cat foreign in there. He'll be up there. I mean, the weather channels show up when this dude hits the throne, baby. He's in there, button out in there, doing booty, spray and large, baby. Praise God. Bless him. But I don't want to be right here on him. You know, I feel like a middle man, sometimes between him and the rest, you know, cause you hear him in there, damn trumpet of the swan, he's in there. You know, he's in there. He's in the dam, uh, in the Phil Harmonica in that bitch. He's in there playing that booty harmonica, dude, tooting. You know what I'm saying, fighting. Um, but we'll get into the episode. Uh,

Starting point is 00:22:37 I'm going to let you know a couple of dates. We got, um, Louisville, Indianapolis, Shreveport, Louisiana, Baton Rouge, Corpus Christi, Texas, uh, Houston, Houston, Texas, Houston, Texas, Houston, my bad. The H they had lowercase H here, uh, Phoenix, Arizona, New York City, New York. You know, when they say it twice like that in the title, just because they're, you know, they're just a asshole. That's just how it, you know, well, hey, welcome to New York City, New York. Like, I heard you the first time guy. Uh, you know, I heard you. I, we both heard you. You heard you too. You heard you. Um, and then Austin, Texas, uh, those are all dates from January 25th to June 3rd. All those are at theovon.com slash

Starting point is 00:23:31 T O U R. Please make sure you go through theovon.com slash tour because you're going to get accurately priced. What else happened? Oh, we went to San Diego. That was amazing. Uh, thank you to everybody for coming out over there. I was in, I got real sick, man. I had a flu that hit me. I had a flu that hit me and, um, so man, we were getting bag after bag after bag, just getting, um, IVs and stuff in the back. And the lady that came to give the, she was kind of watched, she was cool, but she also, she would just, she throw anything in that bag, in the IV bag. That thing had damn, you know, it had vitamins and in that bitch put damn, I think she put a thing of crystal light in there, the little like, damn, we, I don't know if I can do crystal light to my

Starting point is 00:24:23 veins. You know, she was putting everything in that bitch, you know, little, every, she put, you know, couple, she put two out about two hours and 20 minutes of a five hour energy. She poured that bitch right into the bag. I like, dang, bro. You could hear my heart. It sound like it hit a speed bumps. Dang, bro. That's she, she pouring anything in that bitch. And one of the shows I got, I thought I couldn't even barely see out of my eyes. Man, my eyes weren't doing good in my ears. I couldn't, all my senses were getting, I thought, you know, my senses were kind of getting phased out kind of like Elon Musk works for my senses. And he's like, all right, we cutting two of these bitches off, baby. We cutting two of these bitches off. Um, what else? I hope you're

Starting point is 00:25:13 doing something good for Thanksgiving. I'm going to head down to Louisiana. Um, I'm hoping to get to see friends and family down there. And, um, I'm really looking forward to that. Um, what else has been going on? San Diego was really amazing. You know, it was just, you know, I hadn't been out there in a while. And so just to get back on stage, um, one of the shows was pretty late. It started late and so that was hectic. But thank you to everybody for all your patience. Um, the Thursday and Sunday shows were amazing. The weekend, I don't know. Oh, one night there was a, they had a security guard. Somebody was doing something. Some lady kept showing her tits, right? And I, you know, I want to see them,

Starting point is 00:26:08 you know, call me whatever, you know, titty boy or something. But I want to see, you know, you know, hey, look at these tits and she hit them tits, boy. I like, damn. And I knew right when she showed the tits, my tongue just came out and went like this. And I, it was just nothing. It was like a damn reaction. It was a reaction, bro. Like my tongue, yeah. Like my tongue was waving at them. Just came out of my mouth. Like just, you know, and so she, but she kept showing them. And I didn't, you know, they was decent. You know, I was probably 40 yards from them. And I love a tit more. I like a tit more at probably zero to a half yard. That's my favorite space for a tit. And then I like a tit a little

Starting point is 00:27:05 further out, probably at about four yards out. But that's my favorite spacing where I like a tit. You know, probably zero to a half yard or about four yards out. And, uh, and then she kept shouting and just saying, you know, screaming. So we had to, we had to get her out of there. And then the security guard, I asked him, and he acted like I didn't even exist. This guy, he had a mask on and he had like those fake contact lenses, you know, like the ones that are like, you know, it's almost like somebody looks like they work at like, uh, they put those contact lenses in. It's like they work at them. Like it's almost like Satan like knows somebody in their family and they've been recruited for

Starting point is 00:27:57 Satan, like Satan's recruiting and they've been reading the pamphlets at night at their house. You know, what I'm talking about when they get those crazy eye things, they don't look real a little bit. Um, but anyway, I don't even know what I'm talking about now. Uh, so that was kind of wild. But thank you to everybody for your support. Uh, where else do we go? That was amazing. Well, we just got so many new spots coming up and, and, and we'll put up new places. People are like, are you coming to England? You coming to New Zealand? Yes, we'll come to all of them. But time has a way where it doesn't let you do it all at one time. You know, time is a time is a single file line, really. And, um,

Starting point is 00:28:47 um, and I can only be in the line in one place at a time. So we'll get there though and I'm looking forward to it and we'll get to everywhere. We're going to get to everywhere in America. We need to do it all. You know, I want to come over there to, um, St. George, Utah. My brother lives out over there. I want to get over there and be able to see him and do a show. We want to get up to Portland, NorCal, SoCal, Meiko, Meiko. Dude, I want to go to Meiko and I want to damn bring some damn illegal aliens in or illegal immigrants or whatever you want to call it, elite, you know, non-legals. I don't know what they call them now. Uh, but I definitely want to meet a couple of them fuck and even race them. I'll fucking race them bitches the last hundred yards. I bet I could

Starting point is 00:29:31 beat somebody. I'd love to see who they got on their team. You know, it's never too early to play holiday music. I know that I played out there. I play it in January. I'm the, you know, that I'm the guy who had a, if I'm doing karaoke, I sang, um, rocking around the Christmas tree at the Christmas party hop. Cause that's who I am. People are pissed at first, but then they know the words and it's a short song and they're not that pissed. Man escaped. If you don't want to piss people off, get them something from manscaped, do that little drummer boy a favor and use the lawnmower 4.0 to avoid another silent night in the bedroom. It is nice if you chimp, if you trim your bird up, if you trim that peacock boy, then you make sure he's feathered up the manscape platinum

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Starting point is 00:32:14 require excellent credit terms and conditions apply and offers a subject to change without notice. Visit lightstream.com slash Theo for more information. What else is happening? I went on a date. I went on a date. So that's cool. I've been more brave recently about trying to be just trying to take dating a little bit more seriously a little. I've spent a lot of time in that space in my life not being serious or not being able to be serious. So this will be a little bit different. I went on a date and it was just simple. But I felt like it was manageable and I just tried to be just have a decent time not try to put that pressure on it. Not try to put that body pressure, that booty pressure, that smooch pressure,

Starting point is 00:33:26 none of that. Just hey, who were you? Who am I? Let's be right here. Let's tango right here. Let's play pickleball with these minutes and hours. Let's spend a little bit of time together. You know, your serve, my serve, your serve, my serve. You know, love, love, maybe or maybe just game match and that's it and just go on. What else? I'm trying to think of what else has been happening in my life where I, you know, things that I could share or I'm seven months sober. So that's exciting. I know there's a lot of people out there that struggle. We get a lot of calls on the hotline and try to return some of them when I can. But I want you to know if you are trying to do something different in your

Starting point is 00:34:35 life that I can relate to you, that's the thing that you and I probably having common the most is that you are trying. I'm always trying to do something different in my life. Now, that doesn't mean there's something always wrong with me. But I do always want to have some kind of improvement, you know, and I want to get my place self to a place where I can operate pretty comfortably. And sometimes, you know, that can take some effort really. So, but if that's anything like you, then I bet we really have that in common. What else? Trying to think of what else happened? Oh, well, I don't know if I talked about it. You know, Caleb Presley faked his own death on me.

Starting point is 00:35:34 And he, well, he almost died. And so at least, you know, he's willing to put his muerto where his mouth is, you know, so that at least I respected that. But what happened was he was in the hot, he's something happened to him. I don't know what happened to him. He had a, you know, he could have had some bad salad. I don't know. Maybe he, you know, he lost too many bets on I don't know what happened to him. But he, I think he, you know, he lost probably a couple hundred bucks on North Carolina. And next thing you know, he's in the hospital. He's on a ventilator. And so I'm on an airplane. I'm flying on an airplane somewhere and I get a damn, I get a message from Will Compton. If you're not familiar with Will Compton, he

Starting point is 00:36:35 he is a member of bussin with the boys and they are a, they're kind of a avant garde or whatever it's called, I think, or one of them is an avant garde. Taylor, there's two of them, Will and Taylor are the two men that are on it. And Will, yeah, Will is like a, Taylor is like an avant garde. He's like a football tackle. And he, he also looks like he would be like the, like one of the final bosses at like kind of like a Renaissance fair, but like with a little bit of a pack son vibe throw it in, right? And then Will is kind of like, he's like this he, he's like a crash chest dummy for CTE kind of. He's like basically, he's that dog, you know, they're both dogs. They're both dogs. But Will told Will texted me, I'm on this airplane and he said,

Starting point is 00:37:42 did you hear what happened to Caleb? And when somebody says that, you're like, it's two options. That either Caleb is unalive or or whoever the person is, that person is either unalive or they won the lottery or something, right? So I'm like, I don't think Caleb even plays the power ball or nothing. So I'm like, what happened? And you know, he makes me do the what happened like, gee, and I'm on a plane. So it's like, takes four minutes to restart my phone, get it back on the thing. And it said that he passed away. So I'm sitting in the plane, man, I start just breaking down, you know, I'm just, you know, I'm shook. And I even told the guy next to me, you know, and he could see something was kind of wrong. And I looked over and I said, my friend just passed away.

Starting point is 00:38:49 And he goes, do you want to go pee? That's what he said. And I'm like, what kind of sick dude is this guy? I think I am that if somebody dies, that I got to go hold my dick for some reason, or, you know, like, I, he didn't know there was no condolences or nothing. You know, and that kind of that shook me, man. Like my friend passed away and he's like, oh, do you want to, you want to go pee? You think cause like, what, what about looking at me makes you think cause my friend is gone that I want to pee that I want to go hold my wiener in a small room and have water come out of it, you know? I mean, we're just losing touch with each other, man.

Starting point is 00:39:44 But yeah, for about 20, 25 minutes, I thought he was deceased and, and then I get a text from Will and and he said, Hey man, we're just joking or whatever. We just had burritos or something like that, you know, some just typical, you know, just real sick app, just some real sick app shit or whatever, you know. But anyway, shit, we haven't even gotten it. I've just been rambling guys. We had some great voicemails that came in, you know, it just, I feel, I feel, I want to say, I'll do, I want to do more solo episodes. I want to be able to keep our connection. Sometimes it's been, I've been just managing like, what's he, what is most capable for me? And so, so if you wonder like, man, Theo doesn't do it this week, it's not that I don't care.

Starting point is 00:40:38 It's just, that's what I can like handle for myself. So I have to make sure I take care of of myself, you know, I've been caught up for years. I got caught up trying to do everything and man, and it really, really burned me out. It burned my dick open. So now I'm just managing things a little, but I'm managing myself, you know, because I want to be able to be alive. And I'm excited next year, we're going to add that we're going to add back in some elements of trying to do some positive things for people. We were, we're just, we're getting things back on track here. And that's awesome. That's awesome. Some great, some great calls came in. Let me get to him here. Was there any news? Let me see. There is a lie. I like that. Musk restores

Starting point is 00:41:45 Trump's Twitter account after online poll. You know what's funny about Elon Musk? People forget his last name is Musk. Because Musk is just that damn, that's your damn, what is it? Let me look it up. M. U. S. K. Musk. Damn. And it's funny. Now you put Musk, the definite, if you put Musk, he comes up. But when I was growing up, Musk, it was just a strong smelling reddish brown substance which is secreted by the male Musk deer for scent marking. And then there's an important degree, the gradient in perfumery. So Musk is just that body bust, you know, it's that damn, it's just when your damn pores all kind of fart just in sheer just, this is who I am, baby. It's that, you know, it's the license and registration of your fucking soul,

Starting point is 00:42:46 baby. You know, it's your, it's your, just your essence, just fucking busting a damn air nut into people's nostrils, baby. That's what Musk is. You got that Musk, baby. Damn. That Musk. Boy, that's why you see a dog. And you go get a hit of another dog or another animal's ass, bro. They want that, you know, that's that damn business card, baby. That's the devil's business card, baby, your asshole. And that's why you see a dog go over here and just try to get another dog's number real quick. He just, you know, just gets that hit. You get all the information at once, you know, it's like Larry Plummer, 6014462, you know, it's like, damn, that's it, baby. That's Mother Nature's QR code, baby. That

Starting point is 00:43:40 b-hole. You get that information. People hit you with that. You pull that intel off somebody's backside off that b-hole. There is a light shining for me one day off of vaping, baby. I am right now one full day off of vaping and I'm going to try to keep going. My God, is it hard? But yeah, Elon beat out damn deer, uh, deer bust. So it's interesting when, you know, another case of human is just out, uh, just defeating nature in the sense that what we think is important, you know, Musk used to be the damn sense of the animal. And now it's some fucking dude that's afraid of the sun. But I do love seeing them make people at Twitter squirm. I like anybody, but get the squirm on them. Twitter has been Twitter. Nothing. I feel, I mean,

Starting point is 00:44:43 the internet social cell phones have killed or killing us. Uh, Twitter, nothing has been worse than Twitter. It's trash. It's trash, man. And it's not open. It's not open source. You can't just say what it's like. You can say, you can say, you can say, you can't say it. Just even it out, maybe make it a royal rumble. That's all I'm saying. Make it, make it either these are the rules or these aren't the rules, but some people shouldn't get the rules and other people not get the rules. Cause then those aren't rules. Those are damn cages. What else do we got? Oh, Buffalo got hit with this Blizzard baby. I don't know if you've seen this. And if you're in recovery, baby, there's nothing like seeing a damn Blizzard hit a bunch of people. Oh God.

Starting point is 00:45:43 There's nothing like seeing that when the skies open up and serve that, that 30 ball to the world, hit that two, that 200 ball, you got a damn half of the suburbs just damn hopped up on a, on a 2000 ball on a, on a, on a four, on a six, 60, 70 ball. You got 80 ball on the damn driveway. You're out there. I loved it, man. Dawson Knox was sending me pictures. AJ Klein was sending me pictures. God, I was, I don't think that the players and the people of Buffalo know just the damn just, I mean, just that temperature porn. That's what I was on. God. I see a driveway. I see a shovel. I'm musking, baby. I could feel my damn, my chest just go from a damn lowercase A cup to a fucking two, to almost a half A. Just I could

Starting point is 00:46:46 feel myself just half A and in my chest. I think though we were all hopped up when, but when Buffalo shared those snow pitchers. God, we were all there. Now I was in the comfort of my warm home, you know, but I swear to God, I went and made me some damn hot choc a lot in honor and in honor of those good folks. You got to love the bills. It's exciting. And I'll tell you why it's exciting because those fans are that that that's fan hood. That's where you out there. You take your family to the game. You damn lose a family member. Everybody in that bitches, you know, the inside of the stadium looks like home alone on a Tuesday because they got 90 kids and people, adults, McCallisters, everybody stuck in that bitch.

Starting point is 00:47:34 People just hitting each other in the face with them. Shaving cream lotion and running around and putting thumb tax on the stairs. People damn home alone and up in that, but that's how the bills go. What is it Ralph Waldo? Whatever it is, Ralph Emerson Stadium. You be out there. Damn. So you get a text from work. You're a balsa. Damn. I'm stuck in Ralph Emerson Stadium. I've been in that bitch. You know, I've been in this bitch since we beat the Ravens, since we beat Edgar Allen Poe, you know, but damn, I was loving that that made my that really made that was a nice time for the weekend. Oh, I went to UFC 281. Sorry. I just feel like I'm just bragging now, kind of. Yeah, I just feel like I'm bragging. But dude, that was so much fun.

Starting point is 00:48:33 Man, when I go into the UFC things, man, for me, I really, it's like I don't know the rest of it, but it's like, I think it's about like, like a bunch of kids broke their arms or whatever. You know what song I'm talking about? God, it's just good. You know, it just man, when I'm in there, it's like every fighter that I see is like one of the reindeer and like Dana White is like Santa and it just everything about it just like and then the music starts and then the fighters come out and they're all warriors. You know, they're all so it's like you y'all are doing something so many of us can't couldn't do. Yeah, there's just so much about it. And I was sitting there watching it was Dave Portnoy's and

Starting point is 00:49:40 his buddy Big Cat. And they were I mean, they were cheering for Molly McCann's baby. And she I mean, this lady had Molly McCann's and a damn crucifix. I mean, I don't know if you saw the Molly McCann's fight. And they had her in a damn cruise. I mean, this uh, who did she fight? Molly McCann's and she's British. She's a sky was a and you know, I like she got that rough and tumble, baby. You know what I'm saying? She got that girl and she got to look like her vagina would arm wrestle you a little, you know, she's got that or thumb wrestle at least, baby. She's got that gumption. She's uh, she's a warrior. You know, when she fought, um,

Starting point is 00:50:29 she fought and she didn't get the win. And the girl she fought Archibald, who was the lady she fought, I think Aaron Archibald, Aaron Blanche, Blanche Field. And it was just a, I mean, I'd love to see that fight again. It was a, it was amazing. But I mean, she had McCann, she had her in this in the crucifix, you know, she had her damn, I mean, she had her in the damn third testament to be honest. She really had her, you know, but Molly did not. I mean, she was like, gosh, she was like one of those door to door salesman. That's just like, I mean, she, I mean, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. She just, I mean, it's powerful when you're sitting there watching women do that. And you know, you couldn't even

Starting point is 00:51:14 do it. Dude, I'd have tapped, bro, I'd have tapped, man, if I have to sneeze into my hand real hard and there's no clean hex, bro, I'll tap, I've tapped out of a hard sneeze, dude, just because the pressure sometimes it puts on my neck to, you know, damn, you get a little bit of light whiplash and I'm out, baby. I just lost to sinuses. Um, but that was great to be at the fights of it. Just, I mean, it just was magical and people were bummed without a Sonya lost. But also, you know, it's all like the, you know, it's just the story of how things go. And then Poirier and Chandler, you know, I like both of these. They're both, they're both totally different guys. Um, but both were just great guys. I don't think anybody

Starting point is 00:52:07 wanted to see them fight each other, except them. Um, but that was in an unbelievable fight. In the first round, I was like, who's everybody? Like, I felt like we all, everybody won everybody. It was just like, it was them that everybody was on. It was just, I felt like people were unconscious. I felt like there was a minute where they were both unconscious, but also fighting. So just, just wow, man. And then the ring girls, man, we're there. Dang. Every time they come around the ring, I'm like, all right. Uh, yes, I do. I do. Dearly beloved. That's all I hear. Every time they go walking by, we are gathered here. I do. Yes. Oh, I would be honored. That's what I, I just, that's how I feel when they go by. Um, yeah, this was some of the stuff

Starting point is 00:53:04 from the Buffalo bills blizzard. This stuff was great, man. Uh, and this blizzard, I mean, this looks like, wow, if you can see this, I mean, it looks like Columbia took a vacation. Yeah. So fun. People just diving into people disappearing. A lot of people probably gonna, I don't want to say, I'm sure a date line episode will start from this. A lot of people getting ready to their wives or whatever, or a lot of lesbianism starts also in cold weather. You know that? Go talk to a lesbian. They'll tell you. That's a cold weather sport, huh? Let me get you out of that coat, huh? And let me get you into a little bit of, a little bit of this non-weener. That's what they're, that's how it starts right there. That's a gateway drug for lesbianism.

Starting point is 00:54:09 Um, Chinese man runs a marathon while chain smoking. Yeah. Yeah. Chinese people, they do everything while chain smoking. Or if you've been to China or not, or if you've been, this where they build everything, you get, you pick up anything now in a store, you smell it, you can smell a little bit of chain smoking in it. It doesn't matter what it is. You get in, you get you a little thing of, uh, a little thing of, um, shirts or undershorts, Hanes undershorts. You smell, it's like, damn, somebody been smoking in these bitches or you get you a lampshade. That bitch already got smoke in it. Damn. This thing got half a Winston built into the fabric, but that's China. They're

Starting point is 00:54:54 blowing smoke in everything, everything or silverware. Everything probably has, uh, carcinogens in it. Um, what else do we have? Construction worker destroys business after they don't pay them. Hell yeah. I like that. Let's see what happens, dude. Oh yeah. He didn't get paid, baby. He's taking the work back. I love it. I love this. Dang. He's eating the walls with that little, uh, that little motor hammer, whatever that thing is, that little, uh, T-rex. That thing looks like a

Starting point is 00:55:40 damn T-rex, but it's just a machine. Damn, that thing will fuck. Huh? That thing's beautiful. Um, but yeah, this guy, you can't see the video. He's brought a little, um, shoveler. It's like a little motorized shoveler. Have like a big shovel when he drives it. And he's just basically attacking the walls in this building. I love this. And I'll tell you why, because this is where we're at, man. This is where we're at. If you got insurance, you're covered and somebody gets you down like that, they don't do, you get a, do what you got to do, baby. And this is one thing that I miss about, and honestly, I miss a little about, uh, being young, being completely broke, having nothing. Because when you got nothing,

Starting point is 00:56:29 they can't, they can't take nothing from you. That's when you're the freest you could ever be. They go on. You free as could be. You got nothing. Then they can't take nothing from you. You could say, do what you ain't got. No, because you know what happens is you, if you, we have something, they say something, people sue you. They come out, they trick you. They trick everybody. They'll find a way. So then you're like, dang, I want to say something, but I like this having this new, this sofa. You know, I want to say something, but I got a damn microwave of it. I got a damn lava lamp. I got a damn microwave that work, that runs in conjunction with my lava lamp. I'm making a damn TV dinner. And I got a bunch of little, some goop over here

Starting point is 00:57:23 doing a damn Dougie in a, in the, in the, in the lamp, you know? So I don't know what I'm talking about, but, but that's the time, baby. Fuck you got nothing. Get out there. Cause let them, you know who's not, they're not going to sue you if you got nothing. They ain't going to sue you, cause you ain't, there ain't nothing. It's a uter winner. This is a lawsuit universe now. It's insurance nation, baby. A teen solo hiker who was terrorized for days by unknown figures dressed in white, two cops who quit their job at a local theater because of unexplained encounters with an alleged demon and isolated forest in Canada where people keep turning up headless. These are just some of the strange, dark and mysterious stories you'll hear each week on

Starting point is 00:58:14 the Mr. Bolin podcast. In each episode, Mr. Bolin shares real life haunting accounts like the case of Haley Zaga who disappeared from a hiking trail for 51 hours. That's right. If you like the mystery and intrigue, you want to know what could be going on. Mr. Bolin could have it for you. Hey prime members, listen to the Amazon music exclusive podcast, Mr. Bolin podcast, strange, dark and mysterious stories in the Amazon music app. Download the app today. All right, let's get into some voicemails, man. You guys have been so patient and I'm sorry this, I thought this would be a shorter episode because I just wanted to do happy holidays. But here we go.

Starting point is 00:59:09 Let's take a call right here. Hi Vio. My name is Megan. I'm from California, in the Los Angeles area. Hey Megan. Hey Megan. Onward. I'm a new fan, probably like the last six months, but I've been watching a bunch of your podcasts and different interviews you've been on with Bobby Lee. I love Bobby Lee too. I'm a single mom and I've been dating a little bit and I just want to let you know that. Good for you baby to get out there. Get out there. We all have to get out there. This is our time. So much of my life when I look at the past of my life, I was afraid to get out there because I don't look the way I want to look. I'm not in my best shape right now. But then damn, as life goes on, it all just gets a little tougher and you never

Starting point is 01:00:10 get to the space, the perfect space. So the whole time I'm keeping myself away from joy, away from possibility because I just out of fear a lot of times or insecurity. I did that a lot. I'm not accusing you of that. It just, man, when I look at pictures of myself even a few years ago, I say, damn, man, I wish you'd have more confidence then. I wish you went and did that. But that's okay. Because I can try now. But I'm glad you're getting out there, man. Let's hear more. I was doing okay dating before. I think I'm attractive, not true. But once I told guys, like, oh, yeah, I like feel Vaughn, I've been getting so much more dick before than before. Guys just love it. I mean, what? Hey,

Starting point is 01:01:16 we give him back to these single moms, boys. Look, I'm glad to sound like you've been getting safely poked out there. Hopefully you don't look like MGK's VMA's outfit. But that's good for you. I'm glad you're getting some decent wiener out there on behalf of the community, baby. And that's what we do out there. We serve semi decent to decent wiener. If you want something outside of that, you're going to have to go elsewhere. But that's what we serve. Praise God, baby. I'm happy you're doing well. And you stay busy out there and get that wand, mama. Get you a little bit of Thanksgiving wand, huh? Get a little bit of root meat with your turkey, huh? What else we got? A couple other calls have came in.

Starting point is 01:02:12 Here we got one right here. What's up, Theo? So I just had a question. So I just found out, like, a couple months ago that, like, my dad isn't, like, my actual dad. And my mom has just been, like, straight up, lying for, like, 18 years to my face. And, like, I found it out because I was getting documents for, like, college. And I was, like, just, like, medical shit. And, like, I checked the name. And all my dad's name, it was, like, different. And so I got on my mom. And I'm like, yo, like, why is it different? She goes, oh, it must be, like, a typo. Or, like, they messed it up or some shit. And I was like, oh, all right, then. And then, so my friend called me, like, a week later, and he goes, yeah, bro, your mom got drunk and told my mom that you're not your dad's son.

Starting point is 01:02:58 And I was like, yo, what the fuck? And so, like, I go on a trip. Whoa. So, dude, I feel like the clues are adding up kind of a little. I'm sorry to hear this, that you're not the dad's son. You are not the son. You are not the son. The dad's, like, but, bro, are you at the beach or something? Because you're like, bro, my dad, you know, he didn't know. And I told my mom, she's like, what? And then I feel like I'm talking to Chad and JT. This could be a Chad and JT prank. But I'm a ride. I'm a ride. Let's hear more. And I'm sorry. Well, I don't, I can't tell how this is affecting you yet. It's like my cousins and shit. And I'm, I open up to them. I'm like, yo, I don't think my dad is my real dad. And they go, yeah, we know that. We then knew that.

Starting point is 01:03:52 And like, everyone in my whole life knew. Bro, are you sure you didn't? Are you sure? Or it sounds like you should have known. I hate to say that, but it sounds like everybody were like, Hey, this isn't my real dad. And people were like, no shit, Carl or whatever, you know, or Richard. Let me hear the beginning name. Sorry. So I just had a question. So. Oh, you didn't have a name. Yeah. What? Oh, no. I mean, was there moments where you were like, where you got like a Christmas present from him and it was like, to my son, love dad question mark. Like, did anything like that ever happen? Or were you ever in the house? And you were like, dad. And he was like, not it. Like, did you,

Starting point is 01:04:47 would, did you hear any memories? Because it just sound, you're like, mom, it's not our real dad. And she's like, Oh, I don't know, Bob might be a type of, I mean, is it, are you guys eating weed or something? Let's hear more. And like, everyone in my whole life knew, everyone knew, and no one told me, my mom, they could shut up lying to me. And I just didn't talk to her for days. And I just like, for days, bro, this whole thing, I think this is chatting JT and if it is dude, you guys pretty good. Man, we didn't, you know, I almost like this isn't your dad, man. And I was like, if it's not brother, if this is not as pranked and I am, I am sorry, I'm sorry. But also you got

Starting point is 01:05:44 a new adventure, baby, you out there, you know, you got the, you're that fucking Sherlock homie, bro, you out there, you could go fucking get you a new dad, find that new, you know, that new, and this dad could be a, you know, you got a chance to really, it's almost like I'll trade what's, what's here, but you know, it's like, let's make a deal. All right, Ron or whatever, I'll give you, you know, I'll give you, you know, Allen or whatever the dad's name is, and I'll take a chance for what's behind door number seven or whatever. So good luck out there, bro. A lot of us, you know, you get the dad you get, and you don't get that second opportunity. So this could be God really doing something powerful for you. And I think you got to pay

Starting point is 01:06:27 attention to bro, it sounds like people been trying to tell you it was on your birth certificate, your cousins all knew, people were shocked when you didn't know. I think you got to drop in, dude, and look at just some baby pictures and stuff and see who the man is that's next to your mom. And I think it's going to blow your mind, dude. Praise brother. Let's hear another call that came in here. Here we go. Hey, my name is Noah. I'm just basically calling to let you know that a lot of what you say is pretty much exactly how I feel, man. When you talk about being addicted to your emotions, I completely understand that I feel the exact same way. Now I'm in recovery also, and I'm 57 days sober today. And my man, congratulations, bro. 57 days. How wild is that?

Starting point is 01:07:29 You know, you know, you know, you know how few people in the world have ever done anything for 57 days, especially giving up something we liked. Dude, you guys, it's hard. It's how it's I'm one day off vaping right now, bro. And I want to fucking smoke a bowl out of my own nuts, bro, pure nicotine. So it's really magical, man, to see you having this these 57 days, man. Onward. This shit just gets overwhelming sometimes, man. You know, I thought getting sober would solve most of my problems, but I guess why it's a little bit more complicated than that. Now, if I was created around this anger with me that I can't really put my finger on, you know, just the littlest things will set me off like dropping something

Starting point is 01:08:18 or bumping into something. I'll be screaming in my head for hours. Man, I can really relate to that. If there's an inanimate object, I can tell how I'm doing right in the morning. I bump into something on the way out of my room. And I used to be that I'd be so angry. You know, I would just yell that at pieces of furniture. But now you know what I noticed the other day? I'm able, sometimes I'll go, I'm able to laugh because I don't see that the fact that I bumped into something, I don't see it as any reflection of who I am or any reflection that the world is trying to get me or the world is angry at me. And I only say that just to say that it can, those feelings of anger,

Starting point is 01:09:19 you still have it can adjust. Let's hear more. You know, I like to say that if someone else spoke to me the way that I speak to myself, you know, I'd have to kill that son of a bitch because, you know, I couldn't tolerate that. I don't know why we're just so mean to ourselves, man. You know, I get, I don't know why I get so addicted to things, you know, I'm even addicted to damn nasal spray. You know, that's about the hardest thing I've had to kick to be honest with you. Man, I appreciate your honesty here. Yeah, look, I had a non-addictive, I had a non-addictive nasal spray that I had for a while that sometimes I pull up,

Starting point is 01:09:57 if I was going to a bar or something, I'd do it, hitting each nose before I go in. It didn't even do anything to me. It gave me a little bit of a flashback of probably doing a drug or something, you know, and just kind of heighten my senses in a weird way. But yeah, man, I'm sorry that you are so mean to yourself, you know, and I don't mean that as a reflection of who you are because I know, like me, you don't want to be, you know, you don't want to be. But if you're like us, you have some of this that we have, this ism, this alcoholism, this, this uncomfort, it's really an uncomfort that just lives in us. Yeah, you're probably gonna be real hard on yourself.

Starting point is 01:10:58 You know, I think I was always really extremely hard on people. That's the number one note people have given me. Now, you're so hard on yourself. And I think I used to think that if I wasn't hard on myself, then nobody was, let me think about this. If I wasn't hard on myself, because when I was young, nobody was anything on me, you know. And so I realized, I thought maybe if I was hard on myself or maybe if I was perfect, you know, I used to think I realized this the other day, I used to think that well, I expected myself to be perfect. So then I would never was because it's impossible. So then

Starting point is 01:11:51 therefore I'm so hard on myself, you know, because I thought that I wasn't cared for as a child and I'm not trying to self pity. I'm just looking at what was a part of my life that I wasn't cared for as a child. So therefore I took it on myself. Oh, if I was better, if I was perfect, then I would be loved, you know, I'm not perfect enough. I'm not good enough, you know, I'm not good enough for my mother to see me. I'm not good enough for my father to stay alive. I had this epiphany not long ago that I thought that if I was better, if I was perfect, if I did everything right as a kid, I thought this I didn't know until just recently that I thought it, but it came up that if I did everything right that my father would stay alive.

Starting point is 01:12:49 That's what I thought for some reason as a kid, you know, nobody explained to me what was going on or how things worked or that that was getting, you know, I just knew my dad was older and that he was not going to be alive for a long time. And as a child, I thought maybe if I'm perfect, if I'm perfect, you know, that my life would be different, you know, and more specifically that my dad would stay alive. I thought that I don't know how I came up with that or what made me think that as a kid. But at least then it gave me some control over what was going to happen. Because now it's something, it's up to me, you know, even though it's not realistic, it's impossible for that to come to fruition, but it's up to me then. So that's why I think I was

Starting point is 01:13:41 so hard on myself a lot of times, I think, because then at least it, it puts it on me, which was the only thing that I felt I could try and rely on anyway, because I didn't feel comfortable in the world. And that's not some down, I'm not trying to down or anybody, but I thought about that. Let's hear more, brother, thanks for the call. Yeah, there's enough bitches for me, man. That's one of the things that you want to learn, man. There's a ton of days where your podcast was the only time I smiled that day. So keep doing Lord's work, man. Take care of yourself again. Thanks, bro. You too, man. You know, I'm proud of you, dude. It's hard, you know.

Starting point is 01:14:27 I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you because I know how hard it is to take care of ourselves. You know, I know how hard it is to take care of ourselves. I know that for me, I never wanted to take care of myself because if I took care of myself, then then I was doing somebody else's job. Instead, I wanted to show, I just always wanted to show you how much I was hurting, you know? And so starting to take care of myself was doing the opposite of that. And it was the opposite of the whole thing that I'd ever like, oh, you're going to see, when you look at me, you're going to see how much I hurt, you know? And starting to take care of myself is the total opposite of that. So I hear that in you today and I'm

Starting point is 01:15:25 thankful for that, man. I really am. And I'm grateful that I have moments like this. These are moments that mean something to me, you know? Two guys being, trying to be honest and not even being gay and just being honest. Because these are moments I never had as a child. I never had, there was never any peace in my house. There was never a chance for anybody even to listen or to be heard. There was never even any piece of space to think or to feel. There was no space for that. And so it's moments like this, you know, where I can have an honest conversation with somebody. I'd have given anything, you know, to have these as a child and children need these sort of things. So anyway, bro, yeah, enough fucking, enough of that shit

Starting point is 01:16:14 for me too, bro. But praise, man. I'm happy for you. And happy Thanksgiving, man. You made my day. You really did, brother. Praise God. Let's hear what else we got, man. And don't get, don't give up, dawg. Stay in there. 57, man. Stay in there, baby. Let me see. Here we go. Hey, deal. What's up, man? This is Robert calling out a full word. What's up, Robert? Out of Fort Worth, baby. I love Texas. It's a good place. And that's great, man. Fort Worth. I've been down there. I used to go down there to Randy Butler's comedy room, one of my favorite comedy rooms I used to have down there. Can't remember the name

Starting point is 01:17:03 of it offhand. But God, he had probably the best, I mean, he might have had the best comedy room in the country when they used to have it. It was underground over there in Fort Worth. And you get you a little comedy out there and get you a little liquor and even get you a little leg or a little titty sometime afterwards up there. Meet you some body. Praise God, brother. Homeward. Big fan. Anyways, well, I have a question, man. And I know you have a lot of comedy stuff, a lot of funny stuff, which I watch for, but I have like a serious question. Okay, so here it is. So me and my fiance, we've been together for about six months, seven months. And well, she has some chord dates coming up and she's facing some time. She's facing about eight years.

Starting point is 01:17:46 Now, I don't know if I should, I mean, I really don't know what I should do. Should I, should I break it off before she goes? Or should I wait for her for eight years? Or what should I do, man? I mean, I really, really love her. She's a really good woman. And we have a lot of good times together, man. But you know, I'm a man and not only because I have needs, because it's not even about that. It's just about the, you know, I mean, that's a long time to wait. I mean, she might not do a full aid, but she probably do, I don't know, maybe two, three, four or five years. Bang, baby. Gang, baby. Crime, you know, and this is, this is a crime call, you know, and this is where hopefully she got with Morgan and Morgan over there. They do good

Starting point is 01:18:28 attorney work. I don't know who she got getting her the years or getting out of them or whatever, but I'll say this, man. First of all, how the times have changed. This is a call you would hear during a war, war, war one, war, war two, war, war three, when people, when wives, they're hubbing, going off to military or they're in a POW camp. What do I do? They call in, you know, on the ring phone in the, you know, what do I do? Do I wait for Andy? Do I wait for Ricardo? I mean, look, it depends on what type of life you want to lead. There's something beautiful about waiting for someone. There's something romantic about it. There's something really perfect about because you get to keep them in this space in your head where they're perfect.

Starting point is 01:19:24 They can't really do any wrong because they don't have to. It's almost sometimes waiting for somebody can be a sense of control. I'm going to wait for you. But really what I'm doing, not all the time, but really what I'm doing is I'm going to say I'm going to keep this in a perfect place where it's manageable because I don't really have to interact with it. It's almost like something I can just keep on the shelf right here. I can communicate with it when I need to. I can get what I need from it. In some ways, I have somebody to care about, but I don't physically have to have them there. I'm not saying you're doing that. I'm saying I've done that in my life in relationships. But damn, dude, but then also you're going to have to do them conjugal visits or

Starting point is 01:20:08 whatever. Or you can have to sneak over there at night and just Andy do frame your wiener through that chain link fence and let your girl at Molly or whatever her name is over there, not, you know, not be off over there for the spotlight hits you because I can't ejaculate under a sheer spotlight. Anything over probably 120 Watts, buddy, I can't come, you know, and that's who I am. But if there's a strong, if a, you know, if I'm getting the HJ and a boat pulls up or something, you know, or, uh, or if them two, even two coal miners walk up while I'm getting a handy bra, I can't, I can't ejaculate around more than probably about 120 Watts of straight light. So, but that's me, you know, that's me. And I think it's brave. Now, then how far do you want to go?

Starting point is 01:21:03 Do you want to make her stuff in male her things? Do you want to have an apron also? Because I'm sure there's a whole club of men, men who love prison women. Let me look it up. Men who love prison women couldn't. Oh, let me see. Husbands of imprisoned women. They killed their husbands now in prison. That's not you, man, because you're calling in. Um, I don't know. I get it. You know, you, I'm sure you could get some information about this. But look, I think it's admirable of you. You know, men used to go off to war and the women would wait for them. You know, and I think if your baby birds over there in prison, you know, and you, you can keep your seed in the feeder, then yeah, you could wait till she gets

Starting point is 01:22:08 out, you know, and then also you may be able to set up a situation with her where you say, look, I'm going to, I'm going to date. I love you. And this is, I'm going to date you while you're there. So then at least you're also going to be honest with her in case you want to date outside of there or you give yourself the opportunity to still fall in love, you know, because then you don't want to have a thing. I don't think we're cheating and having a lie about it. That's this. That's when you're skating on dirty ice, baby, but praise brother. I hope you, you know, I think it's really kind of you to even think about that. And I think it shows some awareness for who you are as a person. And I think as long as you're honest with her about what you're thinking,

Starting point is 01:22:49 man, that's really going to be nice, you know, and so bless you, man, and good luck over there. Let me see. Let's see here. What else we got? Hey, good day. It's Andrew here from Brisbane. How are you going? Hey, Andrew from Brisbane. How are you going, mister? I've always wanted to call in with something funny, you know, like, like the rest of them or something interesting, but I was listening to your podcast and you're saying you don't have to call in with something interesting. You can just call up with, you know, what you do for a living. So I'm a milkman. I deliver milk around Brisbane.

Starting point is 01:23:32 Start working around two o'clock in the morning. Thank you for calling, Andrew. Any milkman that's working at 2 a.m., bro. You know what I'm saying? We both know what you're doing, baby. You know, you sit, you out there slinging that body milk, son. That fucking blue percent, you know what I'm talking about? Do you out there balling out in people's gardens? Let's hear more. And I finish around 11 o'clock. So I've got the whole day to be at home and, you know, I love it. And also, I guess that's probably why, that's probably why they blame the milkman because, you know, I'm at home all afternoon while the rest of the

Starting point is 01:24:15 gloats are at work working hard. So big ups, big love to you. Love your show. Praise, brother. Thank you for calling Australia. I didn't even know you. I mean, I guess, yeah, I never even thought about y'all having milk of an air. But I guess it makes sense. Y'all would have milk. But damn, if let me tell you, bro, if you're rolling up at somebody's house with a couple of jugs, baby at 2am, dude, that's you a pervert, bro. You a pervert, man. And I, you know, I think this is God talking through me right now. I mean, damn, it's like, I don't know, man, maybe I'm being too mean to you, but I just maybe I don't know. Maybe there's something nice about it.

Starting point is 01:25:02 You out there just damn fucking leaving people a little bit of yogurt, bro. You out there girding on people, girding in the, you know, just right, you know, leave a little canister, a dirt by the door. You out there, girding for mom, girding for dad or whatever. I mean, damn, I don't know. I remember the first time I ever even had a little bit of yogurt, bro. I thought, damn, somebody's gay, bro. You know, not me, but whoever's making it or whatever, somewhere along the chain of command, somebody's gate out or something on this, because how else they even doing this? Putting all of, you know, it was a strawberry. So, but good luck over there, bro. Stay alive. God bless you, Australia. I cannot wait to come

Starting point is 01:25:49 there. I'm looking to make a trip next. I believe Thanksgiving before Christmas to have like a time over there and off to do a few weeks and do some shows maybe sooner, but I want to come, I think in the summer, I guess. I don't know. What's the best time to come? Let me know. As well, we're looking to hire somebody who works in videography clips, making good social clips and that sort of thing. You can send a DM to the, this past weekend producer Instagram account. That's the way to do that. Let's get one more call here. What do we have? Let's go, bro. Mark over here in Las Vegas. Hey, I'm not a new, new podcast fan. I've seen specials and all, but I didn't know you had a podcast. Well, I'm sure you did, but I just never

Starting point is 01:26:37 looked it up. And, uh, you know, I've been binge watching, you know, it's October all the way back in February. And I was just the one where you talk about like your feelings and your mom. And, you know, I just want to ask how you doing with that? Like, how are you feeling? How's life been treating you? How's your relationship? You know, how's the, I know that ayahuasca helped you out, how to see some things, feel some things. But, you know, I just want to see how you're feeling, man. I really appreciate the podcast. I appreciate everything you do. The way you talk to us, you know, even though, you know, I really talk to it, but I feel like you talk to us, you know, praise God, gang, gang.

Starting point is 01:27:11 Gang, baby. Thank you. Thank you for the question, man. This kind of stuff. Yeah. You know, I love thinking about that. This type of thing. And, um, yeah, the ayahuasca was very helpful. It was tough going through all that. I mean, it's, it's a grueling thing. It's just, until you've gone through it and really done it is, I mean, it's, it's a lot on your body. It's basically, it's a damn, I mean, you, it's, you're out there and, uh, you know, it's like buds for your emotions. You know, you're doing a lot. Um, yeah, I'm still kind of getting, uh, a little bit more clarity on some of it, but it's amazing how over time it gets clear and how over time it still, uh, helps me. Um, I'm so grateful for that experience. Um,

Starting point is 01:28:00 um, um, you know, yeah, I didn't get what I needed as a kid. I didn't get it. I didn't get it. And, you know, I realized I've had a tough time growing up in my life. I'm a late bloomer and that's okay. I had a really tough time growing up in my life. Um, you know, and when I was young, when I was a kid, you know, my dad wasn't around my, uh, and my dad was very old and my mother worked and my mother had sort of an emotional condition where she couldn't, um, she didn't look at me a lot and she didn't, uh, um, she didn't come, like come to me if I, if I was hurt, if I was like physically hurt, then she would react. But if I was just like had some emotional pain or she, my mother wouldn't

Starting point is 01:29:07 come to me. She had a tough time putting her hands on me. Um, so that was just how things were, right? I didn't, you know, that was, that's, that's okay. Um, it's not okay, but that was life. Um, but I realized as an adult, uh, that I never wanted to grow up. I never wanted to grow up. I was a late bloomer and I didn't want to grow up and I realized why because I still wanted to be that kid. Because if I grow up, I was still wanting to be that kid. I still wanted my mother to come around my fight. You know, I still was waiting on these things that I didn't get as a child and I was waiting in every sense I could. I was, I was trying to stay as young as I could and be, and because once I evolved,

Starting point is 01:30:02 once I become an adult, that kid doesn't even exist anymore and he doesn't exist anyway, but I, there's something inside him. It's like, if I can just, if I can just not grow up, then I'll be able to still be this kid and I'll, and whenever the things come in that I needed, I'll be here to get them, but that was never going to happen. And at a certain point, me just staying a child forever was, it was just robbing me of becoming an adult. And man, it's really hard to let go. It's really hard to let go and grow up because I'm the last, because once I do that, there's no, that kid doesn't even, you know, he's not even there anymore. I mean, still there deep inside of me, but he's not like, they're waiting. You know, and I'm not saying this, I don't need

Starting point is 01:31:04 any self pity. I'm okay with this. I have some feelings around it. You know, it's a little bit emotional for me to think about. Yeah, I don't know. There's more in it. And I'll think about some more of it and talk about it more in the future. But, but yeah, if I didn't have that ayahuasca, I would never have gotten that understanding. I would have never gotten under the understanding that I'm still waiting. There's so much of me that's still just a child waiting for what he was supposed to get as a kid. Because I couldn't figure it out. I couldn't get any, I couldn't get a look at myself. I couldn't get a step back from me to see me enough to say, okay, here's what's going on. And ayahuasca really help it, man, it gives you,

Starting point is 01:31:58 you can look it through yourself through a microscope or you can look through binoculars and you can do it all at the same time. And so that was a real gift. And yeah, okay, what's up? Let me get something more for you guys, man. This has been a lot about me and I'm sorry about that. Oh, we got a miracle. This fella had called, you know, he'd lost his, he'd jump on a bomb in the war. And we were talking about having him on as a, as a, one of our miracle guests. And let's hear a little more, he called back. The Rat King, big dog. Hey, man. Baby El Rederaton. Just listen to this most recent solo episode, dog. And he mentioned me.

Starting point is 01:32:43 I sincerely appreciate you, brother. Sincerely, dude. Iwamente, brother. Thank you. Thanks for everything, man. And yeah, man, I did serve in the Marine Corps from 2007 to 2013, dog. Obviously, I had to get out because of my lake situation. Sorry to laugh. I think you made me laugh, bro. Onward. But yeah, man. I don't know. I take a one-legged Marine, bro. A lot of times over fucking, some of these cats, that's it. That's it. Somebody's joints, bro. I take a day off, dude. I would take a fucking two-armed Marine if he'd walking on his arms, bro. And he could shoot a gun with his, with his dick. That dude could run it, bro. Gang.

Starting point is 01:33:26 Much love and respect. You can call me at 209. Okay, great. And I'll stop it right there. You thought we were going to leave your number out there. That would have been bad. Man, you know, I think this is a great place to, to pull the episode over to the side because, you know, just to hear the joy, the, the ability in your voice to have some joy, man, when you've had such an experience, you know, such an experience, man, of sacrifice and of, I'm sure of adjustment and of ways to find gratitude now, which are all things that I think we will talk about you. We'll reach out and we'll get it done. We'll get you on there. And then in the coming, when we get another solo episode,

Starting point is 01:34:07 we'll put you on it, man. So we'll figure that out. If you know a miracle or someone, or you are a miracle, somebody, 985-6649503, if there's something going on you're struggling with, hit the hotline as well. Look, sometimes it might take a year till you hear back from us. Sometimes you might never hear back. We do what we can. We're going to try to work on it more in the new year about just having maybe somebody on board that that is their job to help moderate because, you know, we're still figuring it all out. And look, I'm a late bloomer, baby, when it comes to everything, even with business, I didn't want anybody to help me for years. I couldn't let anybody help me and

Starting point is 01:34:53 now I know I need help. You know, I need help on the outside. I need help on the inside. And that's okay, man. But thank you. Thank you, Marine. I don't know if that's a sergeant. No, Marine, a corporal. Thank you, Marine, for your sacrifice and for your attitude, even just in that call, man. I can hear your anxiety. You're, you know, that's cool. And that's the power of each other because I hear you say that, man, and it makes me feel, man, here's, here's a man who has probably who was a really capable man. I mean, Marines are physically capable men, you know, who lost something who lost a thing, you know, who lost something and can't do as much physical anymore. And he's finding ways, man. You know, he's finding ways to have pride and,

Starting point is 01:35:53 and to keep his life going on powerfully. Just gives us all a lot to be thankful for and thankful for you and anybody who serves. And if you just serve your family as a father, if you serve your nieces and nephews as a uncle or an aunt, if you serve your spouse because they're going through a tough time and you get home a few minutes early and instead of jumping on the couch, you make them a cookie or you write them a little note. If you serve your higher power where you hit your knees and you say, Hey, I need some help. Or sometimes I'll just, I like to sometimes now just, I like praying for other people that's important in my life because I'm not, it's not really a religious thing. It's just me thinking about them and not thinking about me. We got a lot to be thankful

Starting point is 01:36:56 for baby praise God. And I love you guys. Thank you so much for being a part of my life. I feel so grateful to be able to be here today and to be able to just try and speak honestly. We live in a world where, and in a society, especially in America where there's a lot of caps on if you can communicate honestly or not, or even question things. And we'll try our best to do what we can and, and that's okay. But you guys be good to yourselves, man, you deserve it. I know you do. I know you do. And what else? Dang, I don't know. I thought we should have got any more funny stuff, but we tried our best and that's okay. Let's go out the way that we rolled into this bad cat. Baby, you know who it is right here. I got them for you. Gang. I know you've

Starting point is 01:37:55 heard it before. A lady sent me a video of her kids singing this yesterday, man. It was cool. Long. Travis McCready. Happy Thanksgiving, guys. Happy Thanksgiving. Make it count. Hug somebody. Hold that hug. Hold the line with it. Feel it in my bones. Honestly, a little time for me to set that park and break and let myself on my own. Shine that light on me. I'll sit and tell you my story. Shine on me. And I will find a song. I will sing it just for you. That's it, baby. You guys be good to yourself.

Starting point is 01:39:28 Happy Thanksgiving. We'll be back next week with Neil deGrasse Tyson and he's the space baby. He's that tall space baby. Dang. He's that damn who looked at a ladder and said, nah, fuck it. I want more. So intrigued to have him back and intrigued to have you back. Hit the hotline 95-664-9503. And that's it. Dang.

This Past Weekend - E419 Gangsgiving

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