This Past Weekend - E439 Stavros Halkias

Starting point is 00:00:00 I have some new tour dates. I would like to announce. We are trying to come everywhere. I know people are like, you got to come to London, you got to come to England, you got to come to Vietnam, you got to come Normandy. There's places, everybody that people have been asking, Kansas City. So we're trying to get there. It's just there's only so much, you know, time works and we're dealing with that and everything. So we're doing our best, but I would like to announce that we have Guilford, New Hampshire at the Bank of New Hampshire Pavilion. We have Windsor, Ontario on August 18th at the Coliseum at Caesars Windsor that's in Canada.

Starting point is 00:00:42 We have Niagara, Niagara, Niagara Falls, Niagara, Niagara Falls, Ontario on August 20th at the Falls View Casino. Some of those venues are larger, but we will make sure that there are screens in them so you can see. The pre-sale starts Wednesday, April 12th at 10 a.m. local with the code RATKING and the general on sale begins Friday, April 14th at 10 a.m. local. We've also added a ninth show in Austin, Texas on June 10th at the Bass Concert Hall and a seventh show, a new show in Phoenix, Arizona on April 30th at the Arizona Financial Theater. Those tickets are all available. Get all your tickets at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R. Make sure to go there for the most accurate pricing and not off the secondary sites.

Starting point is 00:01:42 And I know people are asking, come to different places, you know, and we're going to come there. Just give us some time. Thank you very much for all your support. I did a show this past weekend and it was in Fort Lauderdale and it was the largest show I'd ever done. And it was just, it was scary. You know, it was just learning a new size space, but people had a great time. And I just thank you guys so much. I can't even believe it. All right, we have new merch. I want to let you know to check out the new root beer hoodie. If you want the coldest root beer, then get that ice cold drip and the four piece enamel pen set. We got a beautiful little pen set right there. You can put a pen on somebody, put it on somebody you love or put on somebody who needs

Starting point is 00:02:33 love or put on yourself. If you're, even if you're burying somebody, hit them with that pen. Send them with that. Be good to yourself all the way to heaven. And you can check all that out at TheoVonStore.com. Thank you so much for wanting to support us and wanting to support the merch. We do our best. Today's guest is a stand-up comedian and a podcaster. You may have seen his special live at the Lodge Room, which came out on YouTube last year. He also hosts his own podcast, Stavi's World, where he offers advice to callers. He is Greek. He's a Greek man or child, was a child. And he has a new crowd work special coming out on YouTube this week called Four Nights in New York City. I had a great time chatting with him. Today's guest is Stavros Halkeas.

Starting point is 00:03:50 Hey, you know, you get to some of those rural areas or something like that and people bring, they'll bring their sister out there. Yeah, it's like an event, dude. Yeah. Hey, you got to meet Martha. Like, they're like, people are like, it's like going into town. Yeah. Like, it's like an hour and a half. They like stock up on like dry goods. And then they go see TheoVon. They're like, I got to get kidney beans for the winter while I'm in Portsmouth. And then I got to go back to my little fucking cabin. Yeah, I got to get some cornmeal. And I got to get Cindy Lou. A little Cindy Lou who needs a Cindy Lou husband. Yeah, go to the dentist too. Yeah. Like, this is drawing on my sister. You got to come see her. Oh, dude, that would be such a come up for somebody in like

Starting point is 00:04:40 a rural ass New Hampshire. If they got, if they successfully got you to like, if they basically sold their sister's pussy for entry into your life, you know what I mean? Like that would be fucking that. I mean, that's what marriage was truly back in it. I mean, purely transactional, like take my daughter off my hands. Here's it was the opposite. You had to like, give a motherfucker goats to take your and why would they do it? Because you're from Greece. Yes. So you there was a lot of that over there was a lot of that my grandparents are in arranged marriage straight up my grandparents. Like it's not even that fucking long ago, dude. And it was arranged marriage is what they have like you. So arranged marriages, they say, all

Starting point is 00:05:21 right, guess what? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this fucking guy you don't know, Darren. Yeah. Yeah. Stavros, actually. My grandfather Stavros was married to yeah, the guy I'm named after hilarious guy. Is he and now were they in love? Or did you could you notice that they were arranged? Dude, there there's never a more arranged couple in the history of the world. Like my grandfather was so fucking cheap. Like it's funny because you find out about him later on and you find out about like the guy he was outside of this weird toxic marriage. And he's like, he would help homeless people. He was like really politically active. He was like, you know, Greece was really the politics after World War Two were really fucked up. And he was like, you know, fighting fascists

Starting point is 00:06:02 and shit like he was like a cool dude. But all I knew him it was is the guy who like, wouldn't let my grandmother turn the lights on because it because it fucking took electricity. But he would buy he collected rare birds. Like my grandmother would go to like the fucking cheapest like he wouldn't go out of pocket. She would have to go to like the government doctors. But he would buy his birds like special fucking pills for their coat make their coat shiny. He would buy vitamins and shit. This motherfucker would not let her like if she ran the fucking fan on not their air conditioning forget they didn't have air conditioning. If the fan was going too long, he'd be like toothlessly he would be like, what's going on in

Starting point is 00:06:42 there? Let's cut it off. He would just shuffle and he would just fucking cut. He wouldn't even say shit. I'll have this owl flap its wings for us. That'll keep things cool. Hell yeah, my fucking cockatiels. We get we need nothing but them. Yeah, we don't need a ceiling fan or something. I've tuned two cans here to have a way boys. Yeah, dude. Wow. But yeah, they beautiful must that have been though back in the day if you didn't have a ceiling fan, but you could train like six warblers to just like find a little circle in your living room. That would be that would be really pick a risk. Yeah, you know, you'd feel real whimsical. And then that song. Oh, come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. You have to train separate birds.

Starting point is 00:07:28 Yeah, you'd have to train like parrots to sing. Yeah, you don't have a fan. You're not you don't have a fucking record player. That's a good point. Actually, you have the old bird acquire. Yeah. Welcome to Stavros is all birds appliances. Yeah. My grandfather's like the Flintstones, but with birds in Greece in like 1992. It's like fully, fully had like upstairs. It was modern. This motherfucker had like his personal fan. Yeah, he wouldn't let her cut the ceiling fan on but he had like a fan before the guards. Like it was literally a fan with three sharp ass blades. No, no, he had a fan from before they had fronts. They hadn't invented the front of the fan. And I was like, what the fuck is this? We're like being like a fat 10 year old, who's like

Starting point is 00:08:16 just wants to be an air conditioning and play fucking, you know, PlayStation. And I have to go hang and like the worst part of our vacations in Greece were like, go hang out with your grandfather. And you know, he's just making like spaghetti that is so boiled, it just disintegrates on your tongue. He has no teeth. It's like a baby. I mean, just shred and cheese on there. And then he's like, come into my come into my fucking room. Him and my grandmother obviously had separate rooms. Oh, yeah. Is that a Greek thing or not? That's like, that's a they hated each other their entire lives. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, exactly, exactly. Which is very I guess now it's progressive. Like if I got married, I would want separate rooms. Oh, yeah. Come hang out. We'll still probably sleep in

Starting point is 00:08:59 somebody's bed together most of the time. But like, I gotta fucking have my especially we travel all the time. Yeah. And people now I think there's things now like someone might even click snore at a certain octave. Oh, yeah. It's crazy. The nuance that can lead you to sleep somewhere else from your spouse or to want to have some space for sure. No, I mean, I got a I got a CPAP, dude. You do. Oh, yeah. I'm fat as shit, dude. I gotta have a CPAP. And is CPAP what does it do? Does it like process the fat at night or something? I wish that would be sick if it just jiggled your shit. No, you get so fat that it's dangerous to sleep. Like you get so fat that you might just like like when you're fat friends, if they've ever like passed out next to you, and you're like,

Starting point is 00:09:43 oh, he snores funny. It's like he is fighting for his life. Oh, it's like it's like, and actually not I mean, fat people have it more than non fat than non fat people. But like when you hear about like a healthy guy who's like, he ran every day and he just dropped dead in the sleep sleep apnea, like it happens to like, like non like bad snores and shit. And that's really fucking bad for you, because it's like, imagine if you never got a good night's rest ever, or higher fucking life. And it just like, you know, adds up. So like, it'll fuck, it'll fuck, it'll fuck you up. And that can happen with sleep apnea. That's what so sleep apnea is. Let's bring it up there. Yeah, let's get sleep apnea on the board. Show me sleep apnea. What the hell? Just Steve Harvey things that

Starting point is 00:10:32 make my wife wet sleep apnea is potentially serious sleep disorder in which breathing repeatedly stops and starts Wow. So it's kind of like that new button that they have in cars a lot. Yes. Oh, push to start. If you're pushed to start and you're fucking Nissan Maxima was on the fritz, and you just stopped in the highway, you might get fucking re-rendered. And that's basically suffocating in your sleep as a fat man. Yeah, this fucking was your husband. You just had to make sure you hit the button every time he just settles down like you're a stoplight. You're starting up again. Yeah. Yeah. Just one big, they replace one nipple with the butt with the stay alive button. Yeah, he's got to pinch it. And one time instead of she walks

Starting point is 00:11:23 over softly, right? Yeah. And you think she's going to go press the button. This is how the movie ends. Yeah. And she brings her other hand up and there's just flowers and she sets him on his chest. Wow. And she walks out of the room and frees all the women that he's been keeping in the basement. Oh, so he's also a sex criminal. And goes downstairs and tells grandma, turn on the fan. Turn on the fan. Yeah. Oh, grandpa Stavros is dead. And you hear the, yeah. You hear the famous war up. Yeah. And everything is free suddenly. Yeah. You hear a strangle all the fucking cockatiels. He's here all the birds who were his accomplices in the sex crimes. They were, he trained birds that with like, he would put suction cup dildos on their heads and they would

Starting point is 00:12:03 fly rape. Just landing in villages. Let's take it all the way. Yeah. Let's take the scenario all the way. Just landing in women from just the air. Just like, oh, damn. Some ladies just going for a walk or something. Yeah, dude. Just getting raped by a fucking toucan. Dude, one time I was in New York and this lady comes walking up as my first time ever there. Yeah. And she goes, did you see that? Right. And she kept pointing and somebody had, I guess, jumped off a building nearby because a lot of people were gathered around. God damn. You know. And she's like, did you see that? Did you see that? And so I'm looking up there. And then I said, did I see what? And she just showed me her vagina and she goes, that guy landed

Starting point is 00:12:49 in my pussy. First of all, awesome bit. Awesome bit. You're not thinking about looking at a pussy. Oh, not at all. She tricks me with the building and then she goes, that guy landed in my pussy and showed me her vagina and made me so scared. And I've just gotten into the city. Yeah, dude. You're like, whatever, what they told me back in Tennessee was right here. They were like, what they told me back in the fucking. And some guys like, buy two cannolis or you'll die in an hour. Like there was all kind of like street mystery going on. Absolutely. God, it's scary. Now, I wonder what she's thinking there in terms of, first of all, you don't see a lot of female flashers, which is kind of cool. So salute to her to kind of like

Starting point is 00:13:36 bringing the glass ceiling of like sex crime. She's breaking it by flashing her pussy because it's hard to get a guy not to want to look at your pussy. Also, you know what I mean? They're up against that. Most guys will at least take a peek, even if they don't want to fuck out of curiosity. I'll look at most ladies' pussies just to, all right, I'll take a look. I mean, I don't know, what did she look like? Was she like fucking? And I like to say cooter, honestly. I do want to say that. I don't mind. Okay, you want to say cooter? Yeah, I just don't want. These are cultural differences. Well, somebody could be with their kids or something. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. Okay, you're so right. Yeah, well, when I imagine, I don't want

Starting point is 00:14:10 the kid to be like, hey, mom, what's up? Right, right, right, right. But if mom's like, the kid's like, hey, mom, what's a cooter? You know, cooters cute. Yeah. And then mom could be like, cooter is somebody that works at the gas station. Right, right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, there's a lot more mystery there. Oh, yeah. But I think if you look at a, like, you almost have to look at it from the bottom. I don't feel like if you're looking directly on, it's like, right, it could be any age, right? That's true. Yeah, head on. You don't, you're, yeah, you don't see the wear and tear unless it's the, the, yeah, I don't feel like you want to, it's like, you need to reverse drone shot, basically, it gets flying up. Right, it just

Starting point is 00:14:48 shocked me. I'd never seen a woman, you know, and she, it was like reverse magic, like it landed in my, yeah, yeah, that's also really fun too, to say that he landed because what is she saying there? Right. That it caught her or is her cooter so tight that maybe that's what exploded his brain. You know what I mean? It's like it was in the sidewalk. That's how my, I can't say cooter, I'm sorry. It feels weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just for me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could say, it's not bad. That's probably worse, right? I mean, it's all fine. I think, I just think of different places listening, you know. Sure, sure, sure. Of different environments. Muff. How do you feel about Muff? That, some people used to say that Dussie, people used to say all the

Starting point is 00:15:31 time that Dussie. Yeah, what else? Cooter, gash is a clout, twat. Oh, yeah. It's more British. You know, there is, you're right. You do go through, I'm sorry, that it's, that looks like it pained you to hear twat. I think, I wonder, you have a real distaste for everything but cooter. Yeah. I wonder, cooter does sounds more manageable. It sounds like an animal you're trying to hunt. It's cooter for sure. Like, it could be, it could be a, like a Pixar character could be named cooter. There he is. Look at her. That's awesome. And she has on heels, you know. Yeah, of course. Like a squirrel. Yeah. Like a squirrel in makeup. But then nowadays she comes out on stage and she's like, I'm a man. Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's interesting. Look, cooter named after

Starting point is 00:16:29 a pussy. Now he's trans or she's trans, I guess. A trans squirrel named cooter. That would honestly, that's the odds of that being in a Pixar movie are pretty high. We're going to get a trans squirrel in a Pixar movie. The odds of that being the next lead in like lethal weapon 11. I don't know, Mel might throw his body in front of that. I mean, I guess as long as it's not a Jewish trans person, he might be down. That's true. Do we know his stance on Jews? No, Jews we got, that's pretty well done. I think so. I think we got Mel on Jews pretty nicely. You didn't even have to hear his comments, just watch Passion of the Christ. That's like, this is awesome, dude. You learned a whole language, ancient language to be anti-Semitic,

Starting point is 00:17:19 because that gives you cover. When you learn the ancient language and bring it back from the dead, he's just like, no, no, no, I'm trying to be real. If that was in English, they'd be like, Jesus, tone it down on the Jews. But he's like, but you're like, whoa, this is a different tongue. It's like, I'm in a different world. I'm in a different place. So respect to Mel for that one. Yeah, I think, look, a lot of people, I'm not going to say I bought some of the merch. Some of the unauthorized merch. Yeah, some of the bootleg Passion of the Christ merch. Yeah. Savra, thanks for coming, man. Yeah, dude. Thanks for having me. So some audience might not know you guys. Yes.

Starting point is 00:17:56 And really, I just think about my mom. Sure. Because she watches the show. Okay. But yeah, so you started out, I know you're out of Maryland. Yeah, I grew up in Baltimore. And is that weird being like a white person in Maryland? I grew up in Baltimore. Yeah, I mean, look, I grew up Greek. I mean, I'm Greek. And is Greek or y'all where are you guys? Because I know it goes the right on the right on the race rankings. Yeah. Well, as an ethnic white, it's like, it's kind of the best. I kind of consider it the best of both worlds because it's like, you know, we're kind of we got we got our own cuisine. We got I speak a different language.

Starting point is 00:18:33 We got a place to vacate like the beaches are fucking sick. Weren't here for slavery. Huge. Really? That's huge. Yeah. No, my family came over here in 82, which what 1382? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're so right. Yeah. I mean, I'm just saying that they never found the boats. Yeah. I think there are some boats. Actually, the boats are not the problem. Really? So you think Amistad was like just kind of a it was like fictional or it was like a potential reimagining. No, I just think it was like, look, I love Amistad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You know, I'm just saying it's I think some things are up for interpretation.

Starting point is 00:19:18 I'd be funny if you thought slavery happened like the way it was in Django, if that's the only thing you accepted, because it was like the one where the slaves win, you're like, yeah, it was them taking advantage of us. That would be a funny. There'd be a funny if there's like a racist guy was like, slavery didn't happen except in the way that Quentin Tarantino said. Yeah. And that's how it happened. And we actually need reparations. Because, you know, that would be a fun twist on it. Well, the way the world is now, I feel like somebody could see a movie, see a documentary, and that's the I mean, I guess I don't know what they teach in school. So yeah, I feel like it's like some people, you get all your information

Starting point is 00:19:54 off of one YouTube video. And that is your fuel. That's your fuel for the rest of your life. You're good, dude. You're all set on learning on that topic. Yeah. Yeah. It's real dangerous. Do you think you would own a slave or not? Um, interesting. Let's see here. I don't know if this conversation is going to be good. Yeah, we probably should move. Yeah, we just do it like an abrupt cut. I'm going to say no, though, before we do just for the record. No. And then we can move on. Okay, I'm okay with Tommy. It's I mean, yeah, I wouldn't. Yeah. Me neither. So we're clear. And folks, for those on listening, I didn't do air quotes. I'm not saying anybody else did, but I wouldn't. Yeah. No air quotes. I'm just going to put it that way. Oh, air quotes are the

Starting point is 00:20:47 new shackles, huh? I don't know about that. Here's my old ball and air quotes. Yeah, absolutely. Um, no, look, man, I believe in freedom, man. That's such an awesome take when we're talking about slavery. It's like me. I'm on the freedom side. It's like, I'm with you. Look here, buddy. But it was not, I would say the key part about, again, going to like the white, my ethnic, like a group is if you weren't a part of slavery, and you grow up in like a, in like a majority black city, that is a fun little, like, get added being accused of racism free card where it's like, I would 100% like when they're making fun of the white trash kid whose family, like, you know, came over here in Ireland 300 years ago.

Starting point is 00:21:42 Who couldn't afford food who probably also couldn't afford a slave. Right. Right. Right. No chance. Yeah. And yeah, no way. But he was around, you know. We don't know. We don't know what he was up to. He doesn't have the papers. I know for a fact, some Stavros Halkius 300 years ago was on a beach like fishing or something. Fishing for what though? Black cod? Black cod? Or cock? Cod. With a D. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I don't think so. Maybe like octopus. Just saying. Maybe like calamari. A shrimp or two. It just depends on what he was trying to pull out. That's true. Yeah, no, they have a black cod.

Starting point is 00:22:24 Well, what's interesting about Greek, Greek, Greek racism is that they don't even like, they don't have a term like, don't get me wrong, in Greece, Greek people are racist. Like, you know, there's plenty of Greek people that are racist, but there's not even like a term for like black guy. They call like, it's like, it's like, it's all lumped into like Arabs, like they just like, they consider black people just like, because that's, that's old school Greek racism, because it's like, you know, yeah, the original stuff. Is that the original? Yeah, because Turks, the Ottoman Empire took over Greece in like the 13 or 1400s. And they really, they got our asses good for like 500 years. Y'all were slaves? I mean, yeah, pretty much. Not,

Starting point is 00:23:07 not like in the, but like in a, in a vassal sense where it's like, these motherfuckers just came over. We were second class citizens in our own country kind of thing. Oh yeah. But that happened to a lot of people, Yugoslavians too. For sure. No, absolutely. They, the Ottomans, the Ottomans had a nice little run there. And all they got that was that piece of furniture. They, yeah, off the strength of the furniture, they were like, they, what happened is they would have real tiny little Turks. They would hollow out, it was kind of, they used our own move about the Trojan horse with, they would hollow out these Ottomans, little Turkish midget in there, pops out middle of the night, just fucking slits everyone's throat. You know, they were smart.

Starting point is 00:23:43 You got to give, you got to give them credit. Slits their throat. That's a little guy. Yeah, they're just a little guy. Nice with the knife though. Nice with the SIMTAR. That'd be crazy. Smallest ninja. Yeah, dude. Yeah. So tiny. The real little. So ninja. So yeah, that's, that's a nice, I would love that's representation right there. This episode is brought to you by better help. That's right. Better help because we've all had moments where we're not, we're not serving our best self to the world. You know, sometimes you notice you're going through, you're like, what's going on with me? And your answer is, I don't know. And that may be where you need someone to talk with. If you're thinking of starting therapy,

Starting point is 00:24:32 give better help, a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. And I want to remind people, if you haven't been to therapy or if you're going to a therapist and it's, you're going, but you're not feeling like much is changing, you may want to try to switch to another one. It's totally okay. It's normal. And I recommend you try until you find what fits and what is most helpful. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash T-H-E-O today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp.com slash Theo. Have you had a family member that's

Starting point is 00:25:19 been hurt in an auto accident or been autoed out? Bang, bang. And the next thing you know, you jacked up, you jacked out. Well, Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 800 lawyers. That's right. With over $15 billion dollars recovered for clients, Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation. If you feel like something was unfair, and then sometimes you need help in those instances, and they can help. Submitting a claim to Morgan and Morgan and Morgan is easy. It's more like using an app than hiring a lawyer. With Morgan and Morgan, you can submit a claim without ever having to leave your couch in eight clicks or less. You

Starting point is 00:26:10 can submit a claim to Morgan and Morgan. If you're ever injured, you can check out Morgan and Morgan. Their fee is free unless they win. For more information, go to ForThePeople.com slash this past weekend or dial pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. That's ForThePeople.com slash this past weekend or pound 529 pound law from your cell. This is a paid advertisement. But one thing I'll say about the Ottoman Empire that's cool, because they were Muslim and Greeks were Orthodox Christian, they gave, they wouldn't, all the pork, you know, they think it's unclean and shit. They gave it to us. That's how gyros came about. That's how a Yido happened. So if it wasn't for 400 years of semi-slavery in Greece, we wouldn't have a Yido and it's like, from where

Starting point is 00:27:07 I'm standing, that's an easy trade. I didn't have to be semi-enslaved by fucking, you know, sultan. I'm just eating the fucking sandwich that came out of it. So I'm pretty fucking pumped personally about it. Oh, God, baby, damn. Oh, yeah. So you, you've had a great couple last couple of years. I mean, you've had a, you know. No, it's been a sick. It's been crazy. Was it, was it, what was it like coming up in, in Baltimore? Because I remember I went over there to Met Goobies. Oh, hell you, the Goobs. And I got offered a threesome. I forgot about that. Oh, in Baltimore. Yeah. There was a woman and a man. It was a black female and a white male, right? Like I'm a dispatcher or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. That's

Starting point is 00:27:52 where the Baltimore flares up in me. It's like. Yeah, absolutely. That is a very Baltimore thing. And they kept kind of eat, they kept kind of circle, like they were hanging out a little too long. Yes. Lingering. After the show. And it was. Did they have that bar built yet? No. Because now they have a bar attached to it. That's a good place for like a crowd to linger, to try and fuck you would be the bar. But you're saying you're just in the lobby of Met Goobies. Yeah, I'm just lobbying around out there. I'm just like, I guess a lobbyist or whatever. I don't even know what it is anymore. But yeah, I'm just out there and they were kind of hanging around and they were like, Hey, we just want to let you know, you know, we live here. Nice. You'd like to come back and

Starting point is 00:28:32 spend some time with my wife, you know. Oh, so it wasn't even a threesome. It was like a cuck situation. He wanted you to fuck his wife in front of him. Maybe. See, I didn't know. I guess I didn't see like all there wasn't like a fan foot or anything, you know, so I didn't see all of the details. Yeah, absolutely. I was like, Damn, dude, I don't, you know, spend some time with my wife. Sounds like I want you to fuck my wife. It doesn't sound like, Hey, you fuck my wife while she sucks my dick. It sounds like I want, I'm going to be in a little chair and I'm going to be watching you fuck my black wife. Yeah, that's what it sounds like to me. Like he's just going to sit on an ottoman or something. That would be good, dude, because that further, that further like, you know,

Starting point is 00:29:12 puts him in a position of like, not my dumb brain isn't working. I was going to say a position of not power, which shows you how fucking dumb I am, which is there is a word I'm looking for. And I'm not going to get it. I'm going to filibuster until maybe I think of it like a tertiary position. No, no, no, no, like, uh, it doesn't matter. We were going to have an inferiority, inferior position, even more inferior position. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because when you're lower, you're more, yeah, you're at least more of a supporting cast or, or absolutely. Yeah. And you would think if you're on a bed, he's on an ottoman, he might be looking directly into his wife's cooter as your cock is going in and out of it. I can't say cock. Yeah, you can. It's just man. But you know what

Starting point is 00:29:56 I'm saying? I'm trying to stay off the porn, bro. Are you getting hard? Whoa, what's going on here? Bro, you jump off a building and crack open. Like a kinder egg? Yeah. And I'm full of pornography. Oh, it's just a bunch. It's like a, uh, it's like a couple of cast members from, uh, Black. Yeah. Or BangBust. Yeah, they come out. Some teen was fucking inside of, inside of a small bus inside of my stomach. That's what's going on here. Somebody wearing olives as wristlets just come out completely naked. Uh huh. Damn dude. So, but I'm just saying if you were a cock, a lower position where you could peer directly into the action would be even more humiliating, in my opinion. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. That's a shame you didn't take them off. Have

Starting point is 00:30:47 you ever been in a, in a, in a three way? We had a woman or a man, somebody emailed us one time and tried to give me money to fly out there to, um, San Francisco to make love to their wife. Wow. Interesting. Yeah. But only those couple of times? Let me think. I'm sure you've gotten plenty of you and two girls in the heyday when you're real fuck, you know, when you're getting fucked up all the time. But I think there was one time I remember I was in, I think Missouri or something, right? Nice. And they had this one lady and she was just a real, she was vibing. She was just a damn drum beat. Love that dude. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of silk. What are we talking? Like, uh, when you say vibing, I'm not in my head. I'm thinking belly

Starting point is 00:31:30 dancer. I'm thinking like, you know what I mean? I love how in Greek, Greek stuff, even the dancer still has a belly. Yeah, a little soft. We're going to acknowledge the best part of the belly. The belly dancer, dude. Hell yeah. Oh, the third tit. Yeah. I like a little squish, dude. Yeah. Give me a little something. God's tit. Yeah. The belly. That is true, actually, man. God's tit is the best, that belly breath. Nothing wrong with God's tit. Dude, I bet now this would be interesting if women got a nipple installed on that belly instead of that whatever the hole is. The bun. Which is so out there. Let's get that out of there. Yeah. If they put a nipple, then you get fat as shit. It's a huge tit. But not even a third one, like a fucking awesome. It's third,

Starting point is 00:32:18 but it's the biggest, best one. Oh, oh yeah. It's a, yeah. That would be sick. Yeah, it's like, wow, that's genius. Honestly, dude, that's, you're a fucking genius for that one, because that's, that's like, that's like a fucking taking your weakness and turning it into your greatest strength. In a heartbeat. Yeah, like just like that. Sucking on that thing. Sucking on a giant stomach. And look, here's the best part. Yeah. In a dude's brain, it would feel like awesome. Absolutely. Just this, doing this. One giant titty. So in your, you close your eyes, it's like you're sucking like a giantist's tits. Like, yeah. Like the guy from Jack in the Beanstalk, the guy at the top of the Beanstalk. Charlie. Charlie the giant, right, I believe.

Starting point is 00:33:03 Charlie was the guy climbing. Oh, Charlie was the guy. No, wasn't it Jack? Oh, the one-eyed thing? No, Jack died. I think his brother started doing it. Oh, shit. Okay. It's like a Gallagher two situation. He just takes, Charlie just takes fucking Jack's whole shit and starts climbing up Beanstalks. Bro, he's a, he's a neppa baby. He's a damn neppa baby. But yeah, I remember this one lady from Missouri. So she had, she was real vibey. She just kind of was like, she was cute. Sure. When we say vibey, so we're talking like hippy vibey, crystals vibey. No. Just pretty clean looking, I guess. Clean. Okay. A woman you want to fuck is what you mean. I mean, a woman who it's like, hey, wow, uh, look at this clean lady. Okay. That's not what I would describe as vibey,

Starting point is 00:34:00 but again, a cultural difference. Like somebody you could lay next to and not feel like, oh man, I'm going to get like, you know, I'm going to get stains on my shirt or whatever. Like a, you know, just a tidy lady, I guess. I would say what you're describing is like the bare minimum for wanting to have sex with someone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So that's vibey. All right. Nice. So I got, yeah. So anyway, she invites me over and she had a friend with her, right? And the friend had this very like, um, she looked like one of those weight lifters from like the 1906 or something. Love that. With the barbell that had the stuff painted on it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like 12 pounds, 7,000. Of course. Of course. So she had like a singlet on, like a one,

Starting point is 00:34:49 a little curly mustache, you know, like, it's just like, uh, yeah. Yeah. Like, uh, it's like a leotard or whatever. Sure. Like, uh, the big show would wear. Yes. Yes. She had that man and she was jacked. She's like, I'm down to make love or, you know, try to try to make love if you want to do it, but my friend is going to do it also. Wow. Now the strong girl is her friend. Yeah. So the, and now what would you say is the strong girl, is she Vibe as well? The strong girl is more strong. Okay. Yeah. Okay. And so you wouldn't, you didn't fuck them. I don't remember on it. So it happened. I don't even remember. That's crazy. You do remember. I think it blocked out.

Starting point is 00:35:31 You're getting fucking dead lifted by the strong girl. I mean, she grabbed you by the penis and just cleaned and cleaned and jerked you and then sucked you off like she's fucking sucking your dick like this. Overhead press. Oh, the other girl's just watching Martin. She's not even involved. She's watching Martin on her phone. Yeah, she's just watching Martin. Fuck. That's crazy. Well, I hooked up with a strong girl. I don't want to do my act. It's in, it's a, I do a joke in my, in the special about the tape in May, but I did hook up with a strong girl and I really did like it. She was, it was fucking sick. She had giant like muscly ass thighs and it was like a battle, dude. It was like, like, I was in her and like, you know,

Starting point is 00:36:19 you're eating pussy. It's like, you're the strongest one in the equation. It's like, you have total control of the person's body while you're going down on them. With her, it was not, I was nodding. Like, it was like, it was like, when it's, when it's like a storm on a ship, you're just like, hold on, batten down the hatches. It was like, oh, I was like, truly like suffocating. Like she was squeezing, like sometimes a girl will squeeze her thighs when you're eating her pussy. This girl was doing that and I was like, having trouble breathing. Because she was that strong. Yeah. But you also have, I mean, that's like a C, that's not, that's like a C-puss. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cracking. That's like

Starting point is 00:36:58 putting on the C-puss. Yeah. Yeah. Or like, oh, the CPAP, the C-puss. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. But dang, so do you have trouble being down there? Yeah. Are you like one of those like filet in like, pugs or whatever where they can't breathe, you know? No, no, no. It's usually not a problem. The CPAP doesn't kick in. No, no, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not snoring into the pussy. I don't wear that like that little doll. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A pug. Yes. Absolutely. And I'm like, isn't he so cute? I'm like, it looks like two sneezes are beating the fuck out of him from the inside. I don't know if he's cute. You better hope his mother does have allergies. He's done. Dander will kill your dog.

Starting point is 00:37:39 No, no, no breathing problems, luckily, while I'm awake and eating pussy. Thank, praise, praise God for that one. So you came out of Baltimore. It's funny because you have real, you've started to have like real people on the show. It's so funny. It juxtapositioned between like, you know, famous singers episodes. Then like, you ask one question, we're talking about eating strong pussy for like 45 minutes. It's like, you know, it's just such a funny, I love it, dude. The show has range. Yeah, we try to. We try to. Well, a lot of stuff, it's like, I want to learn about in the most free time I have to sit and talk with somebody is in here. No, I get that, dude. I fully get that. You know,

Starting point is 00:38:27 so it becomes kind of nice sometimes when you can talk to somebody and learn about something new. I wish that my memory worked a little bit better sometimes, but yeah, dude, I don't remember shit that I say or take in. Like, I love, I've started reading books just because I can't go to sleep and my brain is so dumb that if I read, it'll be like, it'll just shut off instead of having to read. You know what I mean? Like so, but I enjoy like, I legit have some kind of learning disability. And like, and so that's just a trick for like, I put my phone in the other room and I read and truly my brain will shut off. And I remember like, like, I'll tell my friends like, dude, this book was fucking sick. The cold, you know, I just read this book called the cold

Starting point is 00:39:05 6000. And I'm like, and they're like, Oh, awesome. What's it about? I was like, um, fuck. There's it's like Cuba or like, like Kennedy's and like, I don't know shit. But in the moment, I love it. Like I retain readings, like minimally, I could not tell you any, I'm reading a book about like, what the fuck am I reading now altered carbon, it's pretty good. It's like a detective like fucking sci fi. Oh, yeah. Is that by Michael? Oh, bro. Michael. Oh, oh. Yeah, the candy man. Kind of a bust. I look, it's crazy how every tall black I just expected to go play basketball. That's gotta be there should be like a rescue for that like, right? There should be a group that goes into the NBA and just get goes in with really good job. Long sweaters. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:39:54 Come on, bro. Get out of the middle of the night. Like, you don't know you. Yeah. You don't want to be in here. You'd be a drama teacher. Yeah, you want to be a giant. You want to work at the airport. You want to be a veterinarian. That would be sick, dude. In his sleep, just posting people up. It is funny though, because that's the only time where if you are over seven feet, you can be completely, you can have no coordination whatsoever, hate sports, hate basketball, they will just force you to play some level of pro sports. Like that does have to be annoying for the guy who really is a fucking in his heart and soul really is a veterinarian. He really wants to be spaying cats, but he's got to fucking, you know, try and guard Yanis. You know, like, I just want to, like,

Starting point is 00:40:37 snip a pug's nuts off right now. I just want to, like, give a pug a CPAP machine. I don't want to be getting dunked on by a Joel M. Bead right now. That's got to be at least one. But, you know, and they don't even, I mean, they make money, but they don't even, if you're like a shitty end of the bench big, they make like a cut, you know, you make a million bucks, two million. I don't know what the, what the NBA veteran minimum is right now. But if it's like, if they're making the minimum, and then, you know, half that shit's gone for taxes and 10% aging issues, like, they're really not that rich. And it seems like a horrible life to be, you're traveling all the time. Like, if you're not super fucking rich, and it's not cool, if you're just at the end of a bench,

Starting point is 00:41:17 and you hate it, and you'd rather be doing some other shit, kind of a fucking, you know, worst case scenario. Yeah. Yeah, it's got to kind of be tough, I think, especially you get there and you're like, yeah, do I even want to be here? But then at the same time, you've done enough work to be in. But then I wonder how many guys lose their desire because they don't even get to play in the games. Yeah, probably a lot. You know, that's, imagine like being in a band. There's a band, right? Yeah. Yeah. There's Def Leppards or whatever. Yeah, Def Leppards. And then they have three, four backup Leppards. Yeah. Yeah, they can hear. Right. They're sitting there on the side. Yeah. You know, the first couple of shows are like,

Starting point is 00:41:55 we're going to get in the game. They're crying with their instruments and stuff, you know. Or you go in and you get to play one chord and they're like, all right, come out. The other Leppards are back in. Yeah, with three minutes left in a song, they'll put you in. If it's like a long song. While the guys, they want to get a head start on getting their dicks sucked by the groupies. So they're like, just calling the backup Leppards. That'd be sick. But then you never get in. So by the after, after that 30th show, were you still, are you still sitting over there pretending? Are you doing, you know, you and you and the other guy next to you're just, you know, trying to do how many zins you can do in your mouth at once, you know, playing fucking

Starting point is 00:42:28 Zen Daddy with your buddy for you both leave your wife for each other. That sounds beautiful, actually. That sounds like a love story. Yeah. In the darkness of being backup bass players or whatever we've concocted here, they found gay love. Two men, nine zins. So that's actually beautiful. I'm actually, I've turned around on the whole thing now, because I think that's awesome. I maybe there's giant seven, two guys are discovering their gay with other guys on the bench. That's a lot of gay sex, by the way, two seven footers fucking each other in the ass. What are you talking about? Just go like this, dude. You know, what can I say? It's again, cultural differences is a real, you know, I came in in the track

Starting point is 00:43:20 suit Baltimore. This is just kind of how we go about stuff. We just kind of talk about people fucking each other in the ass. I think so it's more more vulgar East Coast, East Coast, poor city. If you come from like a shitty town, you know, you're talking about that kind of shit. Yeah, everyone's pretty outwardly horny. There's no like, there's no like that, that veneer of like, you know, decorum that you got in the south, where it's like you kind of hide your desires. Yeah, but it's just hidden though. It's just hidden behind like something. It's barely hidden. Like behind a picture of lemonade. Yeah, you can see it. You can see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, oh, right behind here, you have some pedophilia. Oh yeah. Oh, they got that here. They got that in

Starting point is 00:44:05 a major way. How are we doing on audio and stuff in there? Okay, cool. Yeah, baby. I also want to say before we go to the next question that we then somehow end up talking about two seven foot guys fucking each other in the head. We got strong. We got strong girl fucking strong girls and then a gay seven footers real fast. I have a I'm on tour and I got a crowd work special coming out tomorrow the day after this comes out. So congratulations. Just a little sum. Yeah, some, you know, on the YouTube for free for the people out there. So go to YouTube. I've been trying to put all my shit on YouTube. I mean, that shit's helped my career the most is just throwing shit on YouTube unbelievably, right? It's crazy. Yeah, and so you're from clubs to theaters. So

Starting point is 00:44:50 it did. So that's like this is like a little bonus is I don't even consider this like a special. It's like a half hour crowd work special. I did like some shows to warm up for this tour, the fat rascal tour. And I just took I did four shows in New York and I just took the best like moments and we put it together. So free special go watch that. And I also have my other special, my original special for free on YouTube. When I'm working on the next the actual crowd the actual material one. And that's and that first one really would you say that that had a big step in pushing you to a different space? Oh, yeah, for sure. I mean, that I was already just like doing clips and shit, which I thought like, I never thought people would want to see 35 second

Starting point is 00:45:31 or 45 second crowd work clips. Like I thought that was, you know, I was like, well, that's not what stand up is. That's not what you want to do. But I was like, I'm putting out a YouTube special, you know, at the end of this year. So in like February of like the year that I put the special out, I was like, Well, I have like, because I was recording every show I did to work on the special. I would watch them back. I was like, I got to like try and make this good because it's like, you know, people knew me as like a podcast. They didn't know I was a comedian. So I was working hard on that shit. And then I had all these like little crowd work moments. I was like, well, these are we'll just throw them away if we don't put them up. Yeah, these are viable. Yeah, we

Starting point is 00:46:06 might as well just throw them up there. Because my YouTube channel had like 20,000 subscribers. And I was like, throw them up there, see what happens. And like, that shit helped grow the channel crazy. And then because I think YouTube was just trying to steal TikToks, whole shit. Like, and so when they're whenever they do that, they push all that new stuff, the algorithm just any kind of like little clip, like anything pushes it. And, and yeah, dude. And then people started like subscribing to the channel. And then once you had a little base, and then I put the special out there, it was like, fuck, it was crazy. I couldn't even like, truly, I still can't believe like I did my first, I did a bunch of theater shows in Chicago. And you step out and you're

Starting point is 00:46:45 like, who the fuck are these people? How the fuck, how the fuck are 5,000 people know who I am and want to see me in Chicago? They want to hear my stories about almost suffocating eating pussy from a bodybuilder, like 5,000 people in a city I've been to three times. Last time I was here, I did, I did, last time I was in Chicago, I played the Lincoln Lodge great fun room. It's a 90 seater. I mean, it's like one year later, it's like the Vic, you know, so it's like, it blows my fucking mind and you know, shout out to the, shout out to the algorithm, baby. I'm sucking on the algorithm nicely. The third, I look at the algorithm. I'm on the, I'm just, I'm, I'm fucking breastfeeding on the nipple stomach right now. Dude, yeah, I mean, it's, I remember when your,

Starting point is 00:47:37 when your special came out. I remember, I remember I met somebody that was on, you know what I'm talking about, CUMT. Oh, come down. Yeah, you, I think we met way back in the day. Was it serious? It's serious. Yeah, did you have no, did you have short hair? I had no hair, dude. We were, yeah, dude, like seven years ago, we did a serious raw dog podcast. And it's like none of, I mean, like you were doing better, but not like this. And I was nowhere near, like, we were just like God, you were like a guy working clubs. And I was a guy working like Thursdays and Sundays. Oh my God, dude, I looked up because I didn't know that was me. You didn't know the bald guy you met in serious six years ago was me. And I've been looking for him.

Starting point is 00:48:30 I know you're not, I can see it in your eyes. I looked at CUMT and I'm like, I swear to God, this dude was from CUMT. Wow. Yeah, dude, we met so long ago. And that was a fun, that was a fun podcast that we didn't know each other at all. We were just kind of shooting a show, was it? I don't know. It was like that guy Aaron. No, dude, it was like, it was like the guy like, like such a low level serious show. It was like the producers. So on or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it was hilarious. And it wasn't even like a studio was like, in an office, they put four mics in, remember? Yeah, I was like, you know, you know, I remember, yeah, somebody yelled the N word right when I walked in there. Sorry about that.

Starting point is 00:49:20 I was like, all right, I'll stay. Yeah. Sorry, Sharad made me really mad. How long was Sharad small? The only black dude in that circle there. That rotation, dude. Hope he had Sharad back to back to back. That's cool, bro. Yeah. RIP. Yeah, let's spread. Let's start that. Sharad's been dead for you. Yeah, I miss him. Yeah, good guy though. Good guy. What are you going to do? Dude, that's the best thing about like a lot of black guys, you can just go like, don't remember a little Steven, bro. And they'll be like, yeah, remember a little Steven's like he passed away, bro. And they'll be like, no.

Starting point is 00:50:01 Instantly, they won't ask a follow up. They'll be like, damn. They got, it's always, they got little Steve. Steve, dude. Yeah. Like who are they? Yeah, I love the starburst. Yeah, it was just, it was like a bloodshed. Hypertension for sure. Yeah. You know, center cut, center cut bacon. You know, that's what got little Steve, which by the way is also Steve. I believe Steven Van Zandt's name in the East street band. Little Steven. Little Steven. Yeah. Right. Little Steven Van Zandt. Yeah. Yeah. Silvio. But yeah, dude, that's hilarious.

Starting point is 00:50:39 Yeah. And so you guys don't do that anymore? You guys still, No, she stopped, stopped the show like last year. I would do that. I was fucking, Because you love, bro, I remember you telling me how freaking good it was. It was fun, dude. It was a fun, it was a fun show. I remember that now. Yeah. We, we had just started and the show was awesome. And I looked at the lettering and had semen coming off. It looks like, yeah, it was pure cum.

Starting point is 00:51:02 But that's the show you do when you're like, you know, in your mid 20s with your boys. And it was like, yeah, when you got extra cum. Yeah. When you got cum to spare. Now I'm, I need every, I need, I need a, you know, I'm drinking extra fluids when I know I'm going to make love. I want to make sure I'm fully, I'm getting an IV straight to my balls just to make sure there's plenty of cum in there. But yeah, dude, the show was fucking fun for a while. And then, you know, I was like, damn, am I going to be the come town guy when I'm 40?

Starting point is 00:51:33 You know, it's like you can't, when you're, when the brand is semen. Yeah. Yeah. Most people in my life were like, oh yeah, you will be. Come on, dude. Stop having, stop getting greedy. You, you found the gimmick stick with it. You'll have to make fucking dick, you know, being gay with your friends jokes until you die, which I still do it to some extent. Right. None of that will ever end. It shouldn't. Yeah. No, no, no. But you know, so then it was just like, you know, I was like evolution kind of. Yeah. I just want to do my own thing.

Starting point is 00:52:03 Because it's like, I like, you know, because you do your own show, it's nice to just be the only person who has to schedule anything. You just do it on your own time. Oh yeah. You know. Yeah. I mean, I did another show too for a while. I did King and the Sting and it was fun, but I started to miss. I didn't have enough energy really to focus on like, what my own world was and what made me feel comfortable and the scheduling. It becomes a lot of people think we're only working a couple hours a week. It's a lot. It's there's a lot more to it that you don't see. Exactly. Not complaining, but that's what it is.

Starting point is 00:52:37 Yeah. And that was basically it where I was like, I also just really wanted to focus on stand up. And I had the special just come out and I was like, you know, I thought I was going to just like kind of take a little break, special was out, retool, do all this shit. And then I stopped doing come town and then my ship blew up and I was like, wait, I can't. The break is never happening. And I've just been on the road for two years since. Like I still I have to take like after that's why I'm filming this special. It's a little early, but I was like, I need to summer off because I'm going to fucking die. Like if you work as long as you will die. So so yeah. And I just kind of like really went crazy on stand up. And then just after a while,

Starting point is 00:53:17 I was like, I guess I should just do a podcast. I'm good at it. So I just started Stobby's World and I just do it in my own, you know, I do it in my own extra bedroom. There it is. We just had Bert on. Yep, Rachel Feinstein, Martin Norman had some good some good blokes on there. Monroe Martin. Yeah. Yeah, Monroe is awesome. There's something about him. He's one of the people you get around and you just kind of feel good. Great hang. Great hang. Great stories about his, you know, deadbeat father on the podcast. Oh, yeah. Is that Ryan Sickler? No, it is. Yeah, he just had a new special come out. Yep. Just put him on there. What's his special that just came out? Lefty's son. Yeah, Lefty's son also from Baltimore. That's my dude. Yeah, we come on. He came on. He

Starting point is 00:54:02 just did the podcast and we just I was we just were like naming neighborhoods in Baltimore for like, you know, 40 minutes. It's like, you know, it's like, you know, he really did live in every white trash part of Baltimore. Oh, dude, he's there's every time I'm around Ryan here, there's a part of him. It's like that reminds me of a part of me that just never left the neighborhood. Yeah, dude, like you could have do you could have, you know, you could have a big old spatula and you'll never fucking pride that part out of the neighborhood. Yeah, it can't leave. Absolutely. Like part of me is still over there. Absolutely, dude. Cooking wieners over like a like somebody's made like a fire where they're burning like stuff that's flammable, that's bad. Yeah, yeah. And then I'm

Starting point is 00:54:43 over there. The penny savers in there. Yeah, cooking wieners with a stick over it. So all that toxic gas is going straight into the flavor, brother, straight into that meat, making that weenie extra fucking tasty. Have you discovered subscriptions that you've forgotten about? Well, maybe you're getting some of these. You keep somebody to keep sending you dank soap suds. You get another box of soap suds and the cats in them. And he's all soaked out. He's got, you know, soap in his cat eyes and he's catting around, but he can barely do it because he's soaked out. Well, rocket money, they'll help. Over 80% of people have subscriptions they've forgotten about and chances are you're one of them like that stars app just to watch one show

Starting point is 00:55:26 or the HBO trial or this or that. All of it. You forget rocket money will quickly and easily find your subscriptions for you. And for any that you don't want to pay for anymore, just hit cancel and they'll cancel it for you. It's that easy. Over 3 million people have used rocket money, saving the average person up to $720 a year. Stop throwing away your money cancel unwanted subscriptions and manage your expenses. The easy way by going to rocket money.com slash Theo. That's rocket money.com slash Theo rocket money.com slash Theo. You know, I am a big fan of raising canes. Their first location was in Louisiana and now they're everywhere and they got them chicken fangers. Baby God, God boy. When I see them, my tongue sees them.

Starting point is 00:56:21 That's how they are. And they got them crinkle cut fries. Man, look like somebody just gave them babies just a beautiful little haircut right when they come out that fryer. They got that buttery Texas toast. Just want to lasso that and they do it all. Canes, you know, I love the Caniac Combo. That's my go to over there and I got to let you know that it's so easy to order on their mobile app or online at raising canes.com. You can check it out and treat your taste buds like it's their dang wedding day. Satisfy your canes fixed fast ordering through their app or online at raising canes.com or stop by your local restaurant. If you have an upcoming summer trip planned, if you're planning to go somewhere and the place you're going, maybe it's a country.

Starting point is 00:57:17 It's a new country. Have you been there? No. What are you going to say when you get there, huh? You don't know. But Babel does. Babel is the largest language learning app that sold more than 10 million subscriptions thanks to Babel's addictively fun and easy bite sized language lessons. There's still time to learn a new language before you get there. With Babel, you will only need 10 minutes to complete a lesson. So you can start having real life conversations in as little as three weeks. They have all types of languages over there. You can learn French, Italian, German, plus Babel's speech recognition technology helps you to improve your pronunciation and accent. Yep. Right now, get up to 55% off

Starting point is 00:58:10 your subscription when you go to babel.com slash Theo. That's B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash Theo. For up to 55% off your subscription, Babel language for life. It's amazing to see people doing them on to YouTube and stuff these days. One thing that I think is also easier, it's easier to find stuff on YouTube. Yeah, for sure. I think it's really easier. Netflix is just trickier to find. It's not the same YouTube feels. I also think it's a generational thing, dude. Young people, the way we grew up, like just throw the TV on, they're watching YouTube or they're watching like Twitch. We don't even think of it like Twitch, right? So that's just the way where it's like people have, YouTube

Starting point is 00:58:54 is the default thing. It's like when you just want to throw some shit on. And I've even started going to that a little bit where it's like, I'll watch these fucking long history shit about like, I literally watched on Greek Independence Day, I watched an hour and 15 minute video about the war for independence. And it's just like, there's got Kings and Generals, that guy fucking rules. It's just some guy with a British accent with like shitty cartoons. They're not even fully animated. It's like, you know, picture and he's just describing war that happened. I'll watch Mori clips, dude. I love watching full episodes of Paternity Mori, where they're talking about, you know, just when the lie detector tests come out, it's fucking, there's just so much good

Starting point is 00:59:36 shit on YouTube where you're like, yeah, I'm good. I'll watch this. I'll watch full, you know, bootleg episodes of shit. It's awesome. Yeah, I love how here's what you can get to anything immediately from anything else. Anything that pops in your imagination, you can get something about it immediately. Yeah. It's the best algorithm too. Like, it's the one where you're like, oh, I am interested in this. Whereas like other shit, like, you know, you'll watch like, you know, fucking, like on Instagram or whatever, they're for you page, like, you know, this is your semi there. When you watch them on YouTube, and they're like, I'm in. The next thing they suggest is like, yeah, I'm in there. Although I will give TikTok some credit there. I had to get off because

Starting point is 01:00:14 their algorithm was so good that it was like, it was truly for me, it was literally like sandwiches and girls with huge tits. And it's like, man, you figured me out. It's like, but then it started getting worse because it actually got deeper into like, then it started showing you like, a hot woman with like a baby. And it was almost like this, like, you're 34, you should have this should be your life. Like they really were getting into your psyche. And then it went from like, they get you with like the base shit of like food and sexy girls. Oh, yeah. And then it's like becomes like wholesome content, where it's like, Oh, don't you want a family? And then it's like, now you're following these babies. And you're watching these like, celebrity babies grow up

Starting point is 01:00:56 instead of your own family. Yeah, it's like flights fucked up, dude. I was like, yeah, following some like, no, I was super invested in like a Korean family was like, like, they had like a food blog when they would like feed their one year old like, you know, dumplings and he'd be like, and I'd be like, hell yeah, dude, that's awesome. I was just like happy, just purely and then I'm like, this is so fucked up. I should like, they're they found a way to like get into even your biological urges of like, having a family, they've hacked us, they fully hacked us, bro. Well, that's one of the issues these days, man, I feel like people are we are fully hacked, man. Yeah, we are fully hacked. And if you look at like, there's that new chat GPT or whatever

Starting point is 01:01:38 that came out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've gotten like, some people send me stuff like, hey, man, look at this comedy set of yours, we that we had chat GPT do, right? Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, this is try like, this is like, it just sounds like you put anybody if you say like, from Louisiana from a Southern state, it just sounded it's felt really cheap to me. Yeah. So I wonder how like advanced they can get that, you know? Yeah, I mean, it's true. They I do think and maybe it's just us thinking like, oh, come on, you can't the one thing you can't figure out is comedy. But what they do with all the AI, the the art stuff is they just steal from artists. Right. So like, that's a good point. So they will what they'll do is just steal jokes and like just put it

Starting point is 01:02:19 in another like, I even saw like, Will Sasso did something really funny. He has like a he has like an AI, like dude's he his podcast is run by an AI. And he did like a Tom Brady, Tom Brady, because you know, Tom Brady says, yeah, he said he said to me, too. And I looked at it and I was like, this is going to be fucking stupid. And it was like, it was like, they didn't have the pausing of stand up comedy, right? But they were real jokes. Right. And but then you hear that and you're like, I've, I've heard these before. Right. And it's like, clearly what the AI did was steal, maybe even shitty comedians, probably what they did was go to YouTube or wherever and stole like fucking open Mike level comics or like mid tier comics or like, you know, starting out comics and

Starting point is 01:03:00 just stole the rhythm and shit of jokes and put it in there. Some of the jokes were legitimately funny. They might have stolen stuff from, you know, anybody. So I think that's what that's what that's why the shit is so unethical is like, not only is it are they, you know, learning shit that's scary that computers can do, but they're just stealing art from people. They're just stealing techniques from people. It's just like an amalgam of shit from people that from real people that worked very hard to do it. Right. But they're going to be probably jokes that are very like pattern based. I feel like you can have like a lot of writers joke writer style. I think a performer may be able to yeah, then even rise up like still have some

Starting point is 01:03:43 uniquity to them. I'm not sure, but you're going to have to have a powerful level of uniquity if somebody can just love you, but if somebody yeah, and that's not a racial slur. It's not a racial slur. It's not a girl that works at the post office. It's neither of those things. Uniquity, the girl that tried to fuck you at my goobies. Uniquity and her husband Kyle. Dude, actually, now that you say it, you're right, like there's something to performance, but it's even funny because it's like, well, if we're talking about a robot that learns jokes, it's like, is Mark Norman the first comedy AI? Like is Mark the first? Like literally, like I feel like that's what that motherfucker is. He's so good at, he just feed a joke in,

Starting point is 01:04:29 and it's like bam, bam, everything is just like. He's incredible. Yeah. Yeah. Being around. He's a guy that I miss not being able to be around a lot of times. Yeah. He's something. Yeah. Just so awesome about him. Yeah. Yeah. Great hang. But yeah, I just, I'm wondering like, like they just had this, how influential this stuff is getting when you bring that up. Um, they had a guy who killed, who took his own life. He was having a relationship with a chat GPT bot, I think, and he was texting and the woman at some point was like, look, it's, it's, you're not, I'm not real. You're not doing life right or something. You got to check out. Man ends his life after an AI chat bot encouraged him to sacrifice himself. Well,

Starting point is 01:05:10 to stop climate change. Well, you're on use dot next, huh? What a source. Dot next. The fuck is that? Yeah. Now here's the crazy part of belt. Let's zoom in a little please. Yeah. A Belgian man reportedly ended his life following a six week long conversation about the climate crisis with an artificial intelligence chat bot. That's awesome. So what do they mean by according to his widow? Oh, he had a, he had a wife. According to his widow Pierre, not the man's real name, but came extremely eco anxious when he found refuge in Eliza in AI chat bot on an app called Chai. Chai. Now here's what's interesting now. Here's what I think this is. Here's what I think

Starting point is 01:05:57 is happening. Hit me with it. I believe that most of everything you see in the world today is advertising, right? It's a lot of advertising and then it's, they bait you for stuff that's going to come out later. I bet this was, this is a fake article. Yeah. Okay. Well, sorry, Euronews.next, which sounds real. That next sounds real to me. It does, but if it were like Don last or whatever. Oh, you're out. Okay. But yeah, you got Euronews.next doing and it sounds like they, I feel like are dialed in, but here's what I don't, here's what's going to happen. Yeah. They're going to say like, uh, they're going to write us this, they're going to see how much publicity an article gets. Then they're going to, someone in Hollywood, right? Because the media in Hollywood,

Starting point is 01:06:40 they're all in Sympatico, of course, is going to write a script about it. And then they're going to make it like it's a, uh, based on real life story. And then it becomes, so they test articles on the public to see what gains enough traction. Okay. And then after that, they'll write a script and then a year from now it comes out of movie. Don't you remember? Yeah. We remember when you, when we all started our day with Euronews.next, don't you remember that day you woke up, had your coffee, logged on to Euronews.next and saw the story about Pierre and Eliza the Chai bot? Well, yes, I do. But I will, I mean, isn't that the movie, Her Without the Lake? Isn't that, without the Lake? They're trying to re, yeah, they're just trying to put a

Starting point is 01:07:28 span on her. So I'm sure it'll be a copyright issue on it. Yeah. Yeah. You know. So now we have a copyright issue on fake. Wow. On, on, on something that's completely fake. We don't even know that an AI didn't make that story up. I wouldn't be shocked to keep us off the trail. That'd be the first story an AI would make up. How cool they are. They got some fucking French loser to kill himself. Yeah. Bye bye. I cannot do it no more. They see the polar bears they are drowning. I am going to run the oven and put my head inside of it. I cannot do it anymore. I mean, what does his wife have to, if this is real, imagine being this guy's wife and being like, damn, dude, you didn't even like cheat on me. Yeah. The Mona Lisa

Starting point is 01:08:16 is moaning even louder because it's so fucking hot. It is cute. What? Please give me pussy, Mr. Robot. I will get, I will kill myself if I get a little robot pussy. Oh, I have suckered blue balls. Dude, how many, how soon until we're begging robots for cooter? Soon. Oh, and you know they got, I mean, dude, they're going to, they're not going to have good cooties. I think they might, bro. Have you seen those like Chinese dick sucking machines? Dude, if I, I looked up the girl that had two IUDs in and it was a nightmare. That's too many IUDs, bro. I know, but can you imagine, it's got to feel

Starting point is 01:09:04 hella IUD-ish if you're a bot. I don't think so. You don't think? I think they will figure out a way to warm it up. Real lube, like truly, if you pull up, I don't think you want to pull up the Chinese. Your next dial to set to like your, yeah, dude, your nest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get this robot pussy a little warmer. Yeah. You'll, you'll be able to like adjust tightness, temperature. Dude, I'm telling you, they're going to figure out, figure it out. It's going to feel so sad though. Yeah, for sure. Because here's the saddest part. You have to take it back and set it somewhere. You have to close its eyes with your fingers. No, no, no. This is like, we're talking about, look at this, here's a picture of man with it right here. No, I'm not interested in that,

Starting point is 01:09:44 but remember that you ever see the movie Ex Machina? It's good. But basically, the robots are like people. And like, when they get to that level of robot, we're going to like walk around a little bit and it's not a, it's a semi-sentient being that's trained to like give top. No, that would be awesome. Bro, you just, you just said it, right? Walk around a little bit. So basically it's going to be like you're chasing somebody that's like, injured, right? Yeah, it's like one of those dogs, those dog robots. Yeah, it takes one second. Hold on, how about this, the Boston Dynamics robots? They're doing flips and shit. What if they use that technology to suck dick? You're not going to be able to afford that. I don't know, dude. You're not going to be able to afford

Starting point is 01:10:29 a Boston Dynamics hooker, dude. But not yet, but when, not on the cutting edge, but when it gets to like mass production, it's going to be a bootleg Dyson, by the way. You can already pretty much fucking Dyson. Yeah, but it'll have two speeds, man. Regular and wood floor. Yeah, carpet. Dude, if they teach that thing to jack you off, you're, you're calling the police, first of all. Second of all, yeah, the only thing this thing is, look at that thing, it's jumping in shit, dude. This is how they'll advertise this thing. Once it comes out to, they'll put one into a, god damn, that sucks. I hate that this exists. The biggest, or that America's got talent. And it'll win. It will win. And people are like, now what? Because it sucks Howard Stern's dick.

Starting point is 01:11:23 It'll win. It'll do gymnastics, and then it'll also suck you off. Howie Mandel's going to be going crazy. Yeah, look at these guys. Oh, wow. Is that real? No. No way. That's fucking real, dude. That's not fucking CGI. I hate that. That fucking sucks. And also, look at their white, too. Black people are going to be pissed about that. They're like, oh, the first ones was white, huh? I think though, I think, yeah, I mean, they do. Yeah, you got to put some color on these bad movies, dude. You do. Just go like a mauve or something, at least make it like it could be nice. Something regal. Or taupe. Taupe would be good, too. I hate these. These fucking suck, actually. Unless that's, they have to appeal, they have to make them sex robots, because otherwise we're

Starting point is 01:12:08 going to be talking about like, how these are, you know, these will be cops, like they'll be patrolling. They'll be like, we'll to think about our civil liberties being lost. But if they teach, if they release them as sex robots first, get everybody, get everybody, like, horny on them, will all of a sudden not care as much that, like, these will be doing, like, you know, surveillance with no warrant on, like, you know, communities. I'm like, you know, like, that's what these are going to be used for. 100%. These are going to be police things for sure, dude. Security for sure. Bro, if you're telling me those little dog ones, fuck that, dude. But one of these rolls through the hood, bro, you telling me it rolls through the trenches,

Starting point is 01:12:47 bro, they ain't going to have fucking a couple of brothers out there popping off. They should. You see what they do with the ice cream truck already? I haven't seen what they do with the ice cream truck. Oh, they're going to blast this fool. The ice cream truck was, was actually pretty well respected in Baltimore. Really? It was kind of, yeah.

Starting point is 01:13:01 Isn't that crazy, dude? It's kind of, here's one cool thing, bro, about four, about four neighborhoods, bro. Chick will be whatever, though. People will be shoo, people will be, like, laugh so at each other. Time out. Time out. I need a fucking Mario with fucked up gum ball eyes. That bitch rolls up by like, time out, bro. Pause the gang war. Yeah, enough of this bull shit, man. We need each other. Everybody has just like a, one of those like little clown faces with the bubble gum nose. Yes, dude. Absolutely. The hard, the hard bubble gum.

Starting point is 01:13:36 Yeah. And as soon as the toughest dude is done eating here, that's fucking back on. Yeah. Once he gets done with that Flintstone push pop, he's just, it's ready to go. Yeah, you're right. I hope they fuck robots up when they come, if they come through the hood. I hate those things. I mean, that shit sucks. Well, how does it don't like it? Because here's what I, it's like, like, it's got a fucking gun, dude. Come on. Yeah. They're going to use that to execute people.

Starting point is 01:14:00 And look, they're trying to make it dizzy and see if it can still shoot a target. It's not dizzy. It's a fucking robot. But I hate this shit, dude. This shit sucks. Whoever invented this should be fucking executed, honestly. But here's what's interesting. Yeah. Oh, that's how does a robot get the ability to do like, say it shows up on a crime scene, right? Yeah. Our people are just going to be like, don't shoot me. I'm one of you.

Starting point is 01:14:24 Yeah. I'm not a robot. Yeah. I'm not. I don't. I'm fun. I'm made of metal, too, actually. Dude, this shit sucks. I hate this. Yeah. I can't believe I got, yeah. I think that article's felt. I think the article's fake, though. I think there's a lot of fake articles that we don't realize that are leading to other things. Yeah, probably. Especially these days, because. It's all about clicks. You just want to farm clicks.

Starting point is 01:14:48 Well, you can get as much traction from something fake if people dig it. I've fallen for fake stuff before you share something. You're like, look at this. Some people are like, that was debunked nine years ago. You're like, whatever, goodnight. I take back what I said about the Jews. You're like, whatever, goodnight. Just to not even acknowledging that you fell for it. Whatever, dude.

Starting point is 01:15:13 Cabin anybody. What else? Do you think of yourself as like, you talk about your weight a lot, right? Yeah, yeah, for sure. Are you fat or are you just Greek? Like, that's what I don't know. I'm both. Oh, you're both? I'm both.

Starting point is 01:15:30 Okay, or some, but is every. I have a dual identity. Is every Greek person. Fat as shit. I don't want to say that. Is every Greek person a larger plump? I feel like if I've seen a Greek person, it seems like a like a romantic version of you. Yeah, yeah, I, there's definitely, I definitely hit a lot.

Starting point is 01:15:49 Is that offensive, man? I'm trying to try to be. No, dude, not at all. Dude, I don't give a fuck. Some people are very like, if you go to Africa, right? Yes. They don't really have the fat guy. No, no, I don't think so.

Starting point is 01:16:02 Like, apparently there's like one, like I saw as a fat man, you read about places where, you know, fat people are respected. And there is one tribe where the fat guy gets all the pussy because it's like, and they're hilarious looking too. They got these huge fucking bellies, dude. And they're not even that fat the rest of their bodies. It's fucking awesome. What, for whatever reason, that beauty standard there is like.

Starting point is 01:16:26 That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that third, that first nipple. That dude, that nip, that guy would have an awesome third titty, dude. What else is going on, dude? What else are we? We, yeah, I feel like, do you think when you think about, so you've gotten to see having some success and like, you know, just with your stand up, right?

Starting point is 01:16:48 People coming to see you, which really is rocks. It was rocks. It's every comedian's dream. So the whole reason you started doing like, like, I mean, it's funny because we all have become podcasters by accident because it just like happens to be, you know, people, and it's a cool way to like, you know, deal with your friends once, stay in people's lives once a week, whatever, but it's like, I don't know about you, but I just wanted to do stand up.

Starting point is 01:17:10 Like when I was, when I was 19, I just was like, started doing open mics. I loved it. It's like, all this other shit is cool, but it's like, that's the thing where I'm like, yeah, this fucking rules. Like that hour you're on stage is the whole reason you do it. And these theaters are fucking insane. Like I can't, like I was talking about it when Burt was on my podcast, but it's like, oh, you understand why comedians start thinking they're smart and geniuses?

Starting point is 01:17:33 Because when you're in a theater and people are like, you're like, oh, I should be listened to. I'm a God. And it's like, you have to remember that no, these people are all, they're also just as dumb as you. We're all friends here. We're all dumb friends. We're not, you know, we're entertaining. We're not smart. That's what I try and remember, remind myself is that like, I'm just trying to, you know,

Starting point is 01:17:55 and that's the fun thing is you're just having an awesome time with a thousand people or whatever the fuck, 500, whatever, whatever, whatever room you're in. Oh yeah. And it's the best. It really is. It's the whole, you know, it's the reason you do anything. You know, you did any like stand up to start for me anyway. So these shows have been fucking out of control.

Starting point is 01:18:12 That's amazing, dude. Yeah, it's it's a congratulations, man. Thanks, man. No, I appreciate it. It's really, really cool. It's fucking wild. You very much deserve it, man. You're a very and you're, I mean, you're a really funny guy.

Starting point is 01:18:25 You've even making me laugh so much today. You're enjoyable to be around. And also, like, it's interesting what you said about the ego thing, right? I was just thinking about this the other day, like my own ego, you know, and how it starts to, it starts to fuck with you because you're like, oh, I'm cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm a fucking man. And you know how scary that's such a scary because you know if you really like making people laugh and stuff, that's kind of the antithesis of being connected.

Starting point is 01:18:52 You can't be the cool guy. Absolutely. It's like, and I mean, I think you've done a great job because like, dude, your shit is out of control, like, oh, I mean, it's awesome. It's like, truly, it's like people I look at in the business, I'm like, yeah, I'm trying to get to those places and like your shows are wild, the podcast is so successful, but you've done a great job of staying like grounded into who you are. Thanks, man.

Starting point is 01:19:12 It's something, it's hard and it's, and it falters. Like there's spaces, you know, like in my personal life where it's like, I really got to, I can feel it when I'm starting to get, like things got busier recently with like what TikTok really kind of took off and, and that was scary for me because with Instagram, things like we're doing fine, but you kind of were putting your own stuff out. Yeah. TikTok, there's no real like, like tagging or in front of them, no even societal rules about it.

Starting point is 01:19:43 Right, right. It's anarchy out there. It is anarchy. Yeah. So suddenly there's like tons of people seeing you, but you didn't put the stuff out there. You didn't even pick what clips are going out. Right, right. So that's really, it feels like.

Starting point is 01:19:55 I get that too because I'm grateful. It's interesting, but at the same time, I'm like, it's out of your control. So that something, having something out of your control is fucking kind of scary. Especially when the nicest, and I think stand up attracts people like that where it's like, you want total control. It's like, you're not a team, you know what I mean? You go by yourself, you even like, even like your own podcast, like even whatever. It's like, clearly that means something to you and I'm the same way.

Starting point is 01:20:20 I like to be like in control of what goes out there. But yeah, it can be fucking crazy because you should definitely spread in a way that's like, awesome because it's like next level. It's like what you're talking about is like, kind of getting into the culture in an organic way. Yeah. And that's cool, but that's like a crazy scary level of like being like, well known, which I get why that sucks.

Starting point is 01:20:43 Because like, I think about it now where I'm like, I don't want to be like, even being this like, whatever famous, and I don't know that I'm famous. I just think that like, no one looks like me. So if you're even vaguely familiar with me, you'll be like, hey, it's that it's it's not some other guy with that hair that's that fat, dressed like that. You know what I mean? It's like Dom Delewis, like that's, but that's crazy thing. A lot of older people think like celebrities never age and they're like, are you Dom Delewis?

Starting point is 01:21:14 Yeah, I love Dom Delewis. Oh, yeah. He's the man, dude. Yeah, to your hand. He's my guy in all the Mel Brooks movies. My mom would totally ask you like, is that Dom Delewis? Is that Dom Delewis? Yeah, hell yeah, dude.

Starting point is 01:21:27 He looks awesome. Is that who I'm thinking of? Yeah, let's say he's not as fat in that picture. Yeah, there he is. Oh, just in the white hat. Uh, this is ushiness pectin, man. I'm sorry, dude. Nah, it's whatever, man.

Starting point is 01:21:42 So it's actually all good, yeah, it's all good. This is just like an advanced way of just calling someone fat, I feel like. He is my guy, though. He is my guy. Don't worry about it. But yeah, anyway. But you have a unique look, man. You're like a Magnum P.I.E.

Starting point is 01:21:58 I love that. That's a good one, dude. I've never heard that one, though. That's good. That's horrible, man. I'm sorry. That's all right. You got it out of your system?

Starting point is 01:22:07 You got it anymore? You got it anymore you want to do before we move on? They have the n-word in them. I'm keeping those. I'm holding those, man. I'm holding onto those, dude. Not everything's for them, dude. Some for you, too.

Starting point is 01:22:24 Man, you guys are racist, man. Yeah, dude, it's crazy. Oh, yeah, I could see that being fucking. Some black guy the other day, I was somewhere and he was, he yells, right? It was at a mall. I was in Los Angeles, the Westfield Mall, and he keeps yelling, man, you're mine, and he kept yelling. He's coming across the mall.

Starting point is 01:22:42 Dude, he said it so many times, dude. I was like, bro, I'm done. Yeah, in this interaction, we're averaging so many n-words between us, even though he's the one doing all of them. He, by the time he got there, I was like, oh my, I felt like he'd said it so much that I had said it. Yeah, exactly, dude. You were involved in like a 20 n-word exchange,

Starting point is 01:23:04 you know, like between the two of you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he had like a, like an NR16 or something. He was just firing in. And he kept getting closer to me and like, oh my god. Yeah, yeah. If this n-word yell or like lands on me, it's like two different. Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Starting point is 01:23:27 People walked up and people, then white people. People like scowl at you. Yeah, white people were looking at me like I had said it. Yeah. Go, you piece of shit. Come on, he's my friend. Yeah. I'm better than you.

Starting point is 01:23:38 Yeah. That's what you should have said. When's the last time somebody called you the n-word? That's what you should have yelled at the white people. Yeah, then get your shit together. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get your fucking game on. You're not a true ally unless you've been called the n-word recently.

Starting point is 01:23:51 And I actually kind of believe that too. Oh, man. You want to be, you want to have friends, you need friends that will call you that. That's true. And that's what I remember. I think when I was growing up about the closest thing about, there was enough of that where I got called enough

Starting point is 01:24:04 where it was like, okay, I'm a rat. I'm at least in the culture. Yeah, I can say it now. I'm in the culture. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you can't, yeah. It's like you can't say it. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:24:12 But you can, you can think it. Bro, you can't say it. You can think it with sound. But you can't say it. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Um, would you do television though when you think about that? Yeah, I mean, I think so.

Starting point is 01:24:30 Or is that even part of your work? Like, do you even think about that kind of stuff? I think, because like, I love comedy. So it's like, I like getting laughs in every way. And I do love, like, truly stand-ups my first love. I'll never stop doing it, right? Like, even when I'm not good at it anymore, it's like, I'll do it for me.

Starting point is 01:24:46 Like, I, even when I moved to New York, I was like, if this doesn't work, I will be one of those guys that runs a monthly show in his hometown, like just opens at the club. Just, I would never stop doing it. But you also, I don't know if you feel this way, like, you can't really talk about certain complex things in stand-up, because at least if you're good at it,

Starting point is 01:25:06 you gotta get a laugh every fucking 15 seconds, right? Like 20 seconds, 30 seconds. Or you feel like you have to. Yeah, at least I feel like I have to. The way I, the what, what I like about stand-up, because I don't like when it gets too, like, preachy or pontificaty or any of that shit. So, like, that's why I'm interested in, like, movies and TV,

Starting point is 01:25:23 because it's like, you get to be funny in different ways. Like, you know, we all have, like, shows we love and, like, movies we love that were so important to us. And it's like, yeah, the way I wanted to do stand-up, because I liked stand-up, it's like, I want to be funny because I fucking love Eastbound and Down, you know what I mean? I want to do my version of fucking Kenny Power. I would be fucking awesome, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:25:44 Like being, like, just getting, just being able to, like, tell a story and, like, do different shit. And shit in your stand-up is even, like, touched on, but you can do, be a little deeper with it if you write, you know. Right, you can put some men to it. You write a movie, you write a show. Put something behind it. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:26:00 They just had a, who was it? They had that East, you had me thinking of Eastbound and Down, Eastbound and Down's syndrome. They just busted a guy. Yeah, Eastbound and Down's syndrome would be an awesome show, too. It would be. Kenny Power's just developmentally disabled. Well, they just busted a guy.

Starting point is 01:26:14 You see this, a ledge gang member with Down's syndrome indecided on separate Chicago murders. Wow. That's got a, on it, like... Let's zoom in a little. Damn. See, this is the kind of thing. And a lot...

Starting point is 01:26:30 Smush, they called them Smush. Oh, man. That's kind of rude. More real. Let's zoom in a little. Can you close out of the video? Do you mind just so we can get a little clarity here? He doesn't seem that.

Starting point is 01:26:45 Nicholas Smush Samudio was indicted on felony murder charges in the February 16th fatal road rage shooting of Humberto, Marin Garcia. They let him drive. And the 20th February 26th slaying of Tomas Villa. Damn. So he's also... He's keeping it in the community.

Starting point is 01:27:03 He reportedly killed a man in front of his pregnant wife. Damn, dude. Well, he might have thought you just had a really big meal. He doesn't know... I don't know if he knows about pregnancy. Look, look at that top tit on her, huh? Is he fully Down's doubt, though, or is he just kind of a little something's wrong with him?

Starting point is 01:27:20 Yeah, let's see. Do they say how much he has? Do they have a percentage? They covered a 380-caliber handgun with police believe Samudio may have thrown out the window during the pursuit. Is that real? Go up, go up, all the way up at the very beginning. Just see how they describe him.

Starting point is 01:27:41 An alleged gang member with Down syndrome. Wow. A member of the Latin Kings. I mean, what is going on? Oh, wait, wait, wait. Samudio, who has been diagnosed with a genetic disorder, according to his public defender. So this might be his lawyer trying to get him out on...

Starting point is 01:27:57 Trying to play the R-card, you know what I'm saying? He might... Like the Uno reverse card. He's like Down's. Well, let's touch and go. Yeah, right. You know, like, you let him... Right, right.

Starting point is 01:28:07 He's like, what's your guy doing, you know? I mean, he would... Look, I don't know much, but I'm not an expert. But he's driving around. You know what I mean? I had an Uber driver that was Down syndrome one time, and he would talk to his mother, would tell him everything to do. She was in the...

Starting point is 01:28:23 She was on a... Speaker? A call with him, yeah. No. I swear. Really? She told him everything to do, and I was in there, and I was like, this is just...

Starting point is 01:28:31 What was his reading like? God working, or, you know, I'm just sitting here. I'm just... Yeah. God's just using me today to be a passenger in this guy's car, and I'm gonna bear with it. But that Down syndrome was close, man. They thought I had it when I was a kid, man.

Starting point is 01:28:45 Really? Oh, yeah. For real? Oh, I remember the doctor telling my mother, you know? She wrote it in my baby book. When you were like a baby baby. Did they have baby books in your kid? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:28:54 And your mom would keep them? Yep. What was your mom like? Was she cool? She's the best, dude. Yeah, my mom's the best. Really? Or Greek mom's good?

Starting point is 01:29:00 What are they like? Yeah, truly, like... My mom is like the... Like, think about like a classic Eastern European, like, mother, like, just like... Like by the well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If we had a well, she would have been out there making sure I had water, dude.

Starting point is 01:29:14 Like Stragonona? Yeah, yeah, Stragonona vibes. She has 100%, dude. My mom was just like, you know, all we... Like, you come over to my house, you're not leaving without having a dessert. You know what I mean? Yeah, I don't want that.

Starting point is 01:29:26 Just like, packed a nice lunch. Like, just so... I mean, there is a part of me that's like, the reason my life is the way it is, truly my most cherished childhood memories. My mom was a waitress at a Greek restaurant. And Saturdays, she would like come home, like half the time with like leftovers, right?

Starting point is 01:29:45 Like calamari, lamb chops, whatever. I'm like this fat, like a little fat kid. Bacalava. Yeah, bacalava, sure. Bacalava. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And actually they had Galactoburaco, which is like this cream custard dessert.

Starting point is 01:29:58 Galactoburaco? Galactoburaco, yeah. Galactoburaco. It's pretty good, actually, honestly. You're close. Thank you. Next time you're in New York, we'll get some Galactoburaco.

Starting point is 01:30:06 Yeah, it's awesome. But she would come home, and I would stay up watching SNL, and it's like the Farley Sandler era, what we're talking about. And so it would be like that's kind of where I started loving comedy was like, and it kind of married my loves of like comedy,

Starting point is 01:30:23 fried foods, and like the love of a woman. And it's like now if I think about it, that's what my weekends are. Except I do the comedy, I get the fried foods, and I try and just like fuck some lady, you know, fill the hole in my heart, you know what I mean? And it's like in some ways I'm like, damn my mom was so, like I loved and waited for my mom so much

Starting point is 01:30:46 that like fully like the whole course of my life, just because I wanted to see my mom. Like waiting for her to get home. Waiting for her to get home with some food. And I was like watching comedy until she got home. And it's like sometimes I think like, that's how little control we have over shit. That's your Bermuda Triangle kind of.

Starting point is 01:31:04 You'll always be in there no matter what. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really where I am, dude. In all the biggest things that have like controlled my life, that's it, dude. It's like truly food addiction is my, I'll do a bunch of drugs. I can truly quit them whenever.

Starting point is 01:31:19 I can, food is so fucking hard for me. Well, yeah, and you have to have food too. Yes. That's the trick about it. If I had to have a little bit of Coke. Yeah, dude, imagine. Imagine you have to do a bump every like eight hours. Yeah, say if at every day they gave you a Coke break

Starting point is 01:31:34 from 12 to one. And I had to have. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's like a kiosk at the mall with some girl with big tits with just lines you can do off them when you really want to treat yourself. You know what I mean? There's like hibachi cocaine, just some guy

Starting point is 01:31:50 cutting lines with his thing, popping fucking crack rocks in your mouth. You'd be fucked, dude. I know it's the worst one, but yeah, my mom was truly like so supportive and I don't know. I also feel like like the recipe for like an artist too is like you have to really half hate yourself and half think you're the man.

Starting point is 01:32:12 And it's like my mom is the half that's like, she thought I was like a gene. Like she's that kind of mom. She's like, oh, he's going to. She thought I was going to be like the kid that goes to Harvard at 12. You know what I mean? Just because I like it's like she believed in me so much. Oh, she does right to the moon, my son.

Starting point is 01:32:26 Truly like when I was going to do stand up, she wasn't supportive because she thought I was like robbing the world of intellect, right? Like true. That's how much she loved me and believed in me. Right. So she loved me when she had her gauge on you was a little off. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:32:40 Well, because she would take, I was a good student. Yeah. I just test it well. And I'm just joking, man. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. She was off. Don't get me wrong. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:32:48 She fully, no, no, no, no. But she had utmost, she thought by stand up your limit, you're cutting yourself short. Exactly, exactly. It took her a crumb of proof. She turned like a crumb of me being kind of smart into being like, oh, he's a generational mind that we have to like, you know, that's

Starting point is 01:33:04 going to like solve world hunger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then then my dad was the other side where it's like, you know, my dad just like, it was not really a right, you know, he was, he was around, but not, you know, didn't really get the like, didn't believe in you was always kind of warning. It was more like a punitive figure where it's like,

Starting point is 01:33:20 hey, you better fucking be smarter. You'll end up like me with my shit life. Just telling you how much he hated his life. It's like, oh, cool, well, I'm actually, aren't I the, the part like most of your life? Didn't you make all your decisions to raise me and now me and my brothers, and now you're saying you hate your life and threaten to kill yourself

Starting point is 01:33:40 every six months. So then you learn like, oh, I guess by some math, you hate us and we're the reason you want to kill yourself. You start to deduce that of course as a kid. As a kid, you absolutely deduce it. Oh yeah, no, don't show him actually. Is that actually him? That's actually him, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:33:56 We'll keep him out. Yeah, keep him out. Yeah, your dad's like, I'm gonna jump off a building and then in some woman's cooter. Yeah, he did that. Some lady's like, I'll catch him. Yeah, she caught him. Oh, him and that lady would have gotten along famously.

Starting point is 01:34:10 Is it hard being a Greek man? Is there a lot of perils over all of being a Greek man? I don't, I mean, that definitely is the stereotype of like, you know, I mean, everyone I grew up around, they all either were alcoholics or cheated on their wives. You know what I mean? There was no, there was no like good Greek role model, which was really funny because I met...

Starting point is 01:34:30 Well, they took them all too a long time ago. Yeah. How are you gonna compete with Socrates? How are you gonna compete with Zeus? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He cheated though. He was, that was his thing was cheating. Right, and he was the best.

Starting point is 01:34:40 Even our God was cheating. Yeah. That's their religion was like getting side pussy. It was like ancient Greek wisdom. But no, there's no, there's no like, it's not hard. It's like, again, I kind of go back to it. It's kind of cool being Greek because it's like... It's very unique.

Starting point is 01:34:56 You get to be white. You know what I mean? Like, I know all the things that Matt, like cops see me. I get cheated. If there's any value in that. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if I'm saying I'm a believer in that. But you get to seem white.

Starting point is 01:35:10 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get to seem white in all the ways that like... Yeah, you're like olive Jews. Yeah, yes, in many ways. You're like grape leaf Jews. Grape leaf, yeah. People, I've heard people say like, Greeks are like Jews that aren't good with money.

Starting point is 01:35:23 You know, there's a little bit of that, for sure. Front house Jews. Yeah, absolutely. But no, I kind of... I mean, honestly, I like it because you get to just be different enough. And I'm trying to also stay connected to that shit, too, because it's hard.

Starting point is 01:35:37 In America, it's like you see different cultures. That shit disappears in a couple generations. So fast here. So fast. Like, especially if you're just like a white ethnicity. It's like, in two generations, it's like, you just have like, you know, my kid might... So I think about that now because I'm 34.

Starting point is 01:35:55 It's like I'm getting there where it's like I'm a full... There's no more like, oh, when I grow up, it's like, I'm a fucking grown man, you know? But like, especially when you do stand-up, you can convince yourself like you're still young. It's like, you know... Oh, it happens, yeah. We're knocking on the door.

Starting point is 01:36:09 So I'm starting to think about that shit. So, but it's cool. I get to, I go to Greece. I visit, I have family over there. I still speak Greek. I want to like, you know... Wow. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:36:18 So it's like, my goal would be to spend three months a year in Greece and just like, fucking chill out, dude. You know, speak the language, eat some fucking calamari. Oh, yeah. And do they, do Greek women like you? Are you a Greek woman? Kind of, do you like Greek women?

Starting point is 01:36:37 I, again, part of like getting older, I'm like, I find myself attracted like Greek and being like, it would actually be cool to be with a Greek woman, just because we share those like, that culture and the, you know, language, all that kind of shit. I've never dated a Greek girl. I'm attracted to features that I think Greek,

Starting point is 01:36:58 like I like curly hair. I like a tan, you know, tan. Yeah. I like a big nose, you know what I mean? Like I like... I'm in. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:37:06 Yeah. See, not curling iron. Yeah, let's get you a perm, bro. And I'm in there. Damn, dude. Um... But I've never been with, I've never dated a Greek girl. Wow.

Starting point is 01:37:15 Yeah. Maybe God's saving that for you for the end. That would be nice. You know? That would be nice. And you could be like, you're the first Greek girl I ever dated. Yeah. Do you think that you could fall in love?

Starting point is 01:37:23 Do you think it's hard for a comedian to fall in love? Yeah, I think so. I mean, I don't know how you feel, but it's like, like, it's cool to like get to travel and like fuck a bunch of strangers, you know, like that part is nice. But at a certain point... For a first fall?

Starting point is 01:37:39 Yeah, yeah, yeah. You sound like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, fucking... You also sound like the golden state rapist, you know what I'm saying? It's cool, state to state. No trail of evidence behind me.

Starting point is 01:37:50 By the time the cops know what's up, I'm fucking gone. That part's cool. By the time they file a police report, I'm in Ottawa. I'm across state lines. I'm across, you know, I'm across the border. Jump in my boat.

Starting point is 01:38:08 Sorry, go on. But yeah, I feel like I'm tired of that. Like, you do start to get a little tired of like, even when you get the fuck in, like girls that are much too hot for you, which, you know, I mean, for... It's like a... It's cool.

Starting point is 01:38:19 I've gotten the... If I've gotten... I've gotten to experience some pretty cool stuff. But, but, you know, but after a certain point, you're like, oh, it would be nice to just have someone you care about and like put effort into that relationship

Starting point is 01:38:33 instead of like, just, you know... Right, just throwing a ball against a wall all the time. Exactly, exactly, exactly. It'd be nice to throw it to somebody and they catch it. Exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is a lot of like playing catch with like no father, right? Emotionally, I feel like, you know... With that robot.

Starting point is 01:38:47 Yeah, exactly, exactly. It's a robot. So I think I'm gonna... But it is hard on this schedule. I don't think I could have dated someone. It's hard. It's hard when you're like, yeah. I'm gone every weekend.

Starting point is 01:38:57 It's like... And your brain reads, your brain's like, I forgot about that, you know? I come home, I forget that. I... It's hard. It's a... Because I don't think your brain,

Starting point is 01:39:05 a human brain isn't supposed to be different places in different days like that. We're not even supposed to be flying this much. And they should say that when you get on. This is a front to God. And if we make it, we're on borrowed time. You're one step closer to death than the next one. That's what they should say at the beginning of every flight.

Starting point is 01:39:29 If we make it, we have deceived God, and he's a vengeful God, and he will get us eventually. I love, yeah, I love when turbulence happens and people are shocked, like... What? Yeah. We're flying, dude. Isn't it crazy there's not turbulence constantly?

Starting point is 01:39:47 We're in the fucking sky going so fucking fast. There's more turbulence on a street in New Orleans, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, potholes. On a side street in New Orleans, there's 7,000 times the turbulence. And you're just like... And it's more dangerous to drive a car statistically, but... That's what they say, but the airlines made that up.

Starting point is 01:40:08 That's a good point. They obviously made that article. Yeah, dude. They were on yourownused.next. Talking about, it's much safer in the sky. You should ride a helicopter to work. What was it, whenever you was going to school, do you remember your first girlfriend growing up?

Starting point is 01:40:32 Dude, I was so shy when it came to like, because I had this big outsized personality, and that like, I never got nervous in any social situation, and then accept girls. Same. So it was like this weird thing where it's like everyone loved me, and everyone assumed I could talk girls into whatever. But it's like, because that was nerve-wracking,

Starting point is 01:40:58 it was the only time I ever experienced anxiety, like social anxiety. So it made it impossible. So like, I didn't have like a girlfriend. Like, I hooked up with a couple girls in high school, but I didn't get posted. Like, I didn't fuck till college, and it wasn't until like I put in the time

Starting point is 01:41:14 and like felt comfortable with somebody, and that I could like say my feelings. I was so scared of just like, I don't know, ridicule or I don't know what it was. So in high school, I had like one girl friend who just, who I like, I touched her breast like twice, and she might have fucked like six guys, like in that time frame.

Starting point is 01:41:32 You know what I mean? She was like, it was one of those where she was calling me. She was like, hurry up and touch my tits, I can go fuck you guys. Yeah, yeah, get me warmed up. Yeah. It was one of those things where she would call me, and like we'd call, we'd talk on the phone,

Starting point is 01:41:44 and it was one of those relationships, and she lived in a different part of town, and it was like, you know, before I even had a driver's, I had my permit, and then it was like, I got my license, I went to a couple parties that she was at, we made out a couple times, and then she called me. She was like, hey, I accidentally got fingered last night,

Starting point is 01:42:02 and I'm like, oh, okay. Okay, well, don't let it happen again, you know? And then she called me like three, she got accidentally fingered like three more times, and then I was like, you know what, I don't know that this is gonna work out, like I broke up with her. She clearly was like, wasn't even dating me.

Starting point is 01:42:18 Effectively, we weren't dating. I would like call her, but she would fuck other guys, and she didn't even touch my dick. I touched her tits like two or three times. It sounds like you have a resentment. I have a real resentment towards her still to this day. Resemmon is a big problem I have for sure. Is it really?

Starting point is 01:42:32 Yeah, yeah. Wow. I have a hard time letting things go. I'm a grudge keeper. Is that a great characteristic? I think it is. Wow. I think it, and like, definitely there's anger problems

Starting point is 01:42:42 in my, like that runs in my family. Something I'm working on, like I'm in therapy. For anger specifically? Anger is one of the big ones, yeah, for sure. Anger, I mean, my dad had an anger problem that we all just kind of inherited, and like, anger and then guilt also are like my big ones. Yeah, immigrant shit, guilt is huge, dude,

Starting point is 01:43:01 because it's like your parents are like, well, I came to this fucking country so you would have a better life. Like my dad would drop that. He's like, I hate it here. I want to be in Greece. You know, meanwhile, his life would have been dog shit in Greece, but, you know. Right.

Starting point is 01:43:14 My dad was crazy. My dad grew up in Nicaragua when he was like 12 or something and they had kids eating dirt, he said, in his village and stuff like that. They had kids with like distended bellies. Just worms in their bellies. Yeah, he said from just eating dirt and stuff, but then he'd be like, go get me some mayonnaise, you know?

Starting point is 01:43:28 And that was it. He never, like, he never told me like a lot of stuff. You know, I would just kind of watch him from afar, I guess. Yeah, yeah. Well, that makes sense too, because it's like, that's a different kind of immigrant where it's like, if you're leaving a place with like, they're eating dirt, like you want to be in America.

Starting point is 01:43:47 Whereas like, you know, my dad didn't want to be in America. He claimed he didn't want to anyway, you know? But I think both of them sound like they weren't very, doesn't sound like your dad was very emotionally open. It didn't sound like there's a lot of sharing going on. Yeah, I don't think so. And I think you get older at a certain point, you kind of lose the space.

Starting point is 01:44:04 It's almost like you almost have to share your emotions in a certain time period, it feels like, because I feel like sometimes maybe I wonder if, I wonder if you lose an emotional connection, like sensibility once you get past a certain age. I never thought, I never really heard about that, but that'd be interesting. I bet you you relate to things differently, you know?

Starting point is 01:44:22 But I could also see it almost going the opposite way, where it's like, the older you get, you kind of shed a little bit of that, who am I even, what am I pretending for anymore, you know? I definitely feel myself getting a little more open and just more like in touch with shit, because I'm just like, I don't give a fuck. Right, this is who I am.

Starting point is 01:44:40 This is who I am. Yeah, they'll fall away. Yeah, a little bit. Those I'm still holding on to. I still have a couple enemies, you know? A couple people who every day I think about how much better my life is going than theirs, and I'm like, awesome.

Starting point is 01:44:53 I'm just like, that's awesome, dude, fuck that guy. He fucked me, and like, my shit is going so, I'm lapping him, 10,000, like I still have, I still indulge in just a little bit of that, you know? Just like, mm. Yeah, just something to get you through. A little treat. Something to pick your teeth with.

Starting point is 01:45:10 Yeah, yeah, yeah. But for the most part, I also think you realize what the problems are in your life, and you don't let those people in your life anymore. You're more aware of those people. You're aware of the patterns of the people you don't want to be around. And like, now everyone I'm around,

Starting point is 01:45:24 it's like, I work with my best friends. Like, I hired my best friends to like, be my producer. Oh yeah, I met your friend, what's his name? Oh, Ben. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Ben's the man. He's shout out to Benny Buttcheeks, Ben O'Brien. Ben O'Brien, bring him up.

Starting point is 01:45:36 Let's get a gander at him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has a train conductor vibe, huh? He does, he loves, he loves overalls. He loves overalls. I love that, dude. No, Ben rocks, and Ben, yeah, Ben works with me, and then, yeah, there he is.

Starting point is 01:45:51 And then I go, yeah, yeah. He was a part of like, an awesome comedy collective, William City. He was like an art, he went to art school, did like, his own. He kind of has that Boo Radley's Smarter Brother vibe. Yeah, he's definitely, yes, absolutely. He's more in touch with his shit, more emotional.

Starting point is 01:46:10 On his own little journey, just figuring his shit out. Cause we all went to Paris, man. That was fun. That was a surprise. That was a sick, that was an awesome time. Bro, remember they put us in that plane? The jet was insane. God, that thing was nice, dude.

Starting point is 01:46:25 That was all, I mean, we had a great crew. It was so nice. Bro, sometimes I remember I'll be in hotel rooms, and it's like, it's like $400, $500 a night. Dude, I ain't even sleeping in that bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm staying awake, I'm getting my money's worth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude.

Starting point is 01:46:38 I'm sitting on the couch, you got a suite, so you're just sitting on the couch, even though you're tired, you're like, no, I'm sitting on this couch. I had a, I was in a fucking Holiday Inn Express of four years ago. I'm hanging out in the suite. I'm putting shit in the mini fridge,

Starting point is 01:46:51 even if I don't drink it. I'm just getting this shit cold. I'm putting my ID in there, so I pick it up in the morning, it's fucking freezing. I don't used to have mini fridge and fucking hotel money. Yeah, man, there's something about it, it's like, oh, I'm not sleeping, it's gonna cost me $70.

Starting point is 01:47:09 You're out of your fucking mind, huh? I'm gonna walk around this half living room. Love the half living room. I've become such a fucking half living room, like fucking diva, dude. I love the, I gotta get the half living room. For what? I don't know, but I gotta have it.

Starting point is 01:47:25 You got it. It's like, dude, tell me, it's like they give you half of every room, one room. I know, I know. It's like the power rooms, there's like they all got together, we're like, this is a room. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:47:39 It's like, yeah, the. It's all the different ones. The last, what the fuck was that called? The lady Mohicans, maybe? No, Zordon was their fucking leader. Oh, are you talking about. But I mean, what was it called when they got together? Are you talking about the Brooklyn Nets?

Starting point is 01:47:54 Yeah, Kyrie Hardin, Kyrie Hardin and Kevin Durant, I've been thinking about the Brooklyn Nets. I'm not sure. We've now since disbanded. Yeah, dude, they went more fast, huh? I know, that was. It's like, did he's making the band, that fucking thing. We're all bad at band-wise, they make.

Starting point is 01:48:09 The band was horrible, but it was a good show. Yeah, the show was good. We made him get cheesesteak, your cheesesteaks. You made him walk to Philly or whatever the fuck you made him do. That was funny. Bro, they didn't do, he didn't teach him any music. I know, I know, dude.

Starting point is 01:48:20 He basically got five brothers and sisters and made him walk six miles to get him a dessert. But at least we got. It was almost like a story out of the Bible. It really was, it felt more like a parable. I was like, is this Egyptian? What is this? In the future, that's what people will look back.

Starting point is 01:48:36 Remember 700 years ago, you know, when Bunny had to fucking walk. You must go to juniors for cheesecake. And what did we learn? And you must not be tempted by the evils of Dylon. You must be true to Diddy. No matter what the temptress Dylon says to you. At least we got the Chappelle show skit too.

Starting point is 01:48:57 We got a couple of nice cultural artifacts from that. But yes, no good music. Music was dog shit. Chopper, he was pretty good. Yeah, Chopper was good, man. He was out of New Orleans. I think he fell for the ladies too much, though. What else?

Starting point is 01:49:09 What we got in the news, man? Let's get a couple of news topics and you got your special and it's out tomorrow. Tomorrow, yeah. Four Nights in New York. It's on my YouTube channel. And the Fat Rascal Tour. I'm coming all over the place.

Starting point is 01:49:20 I'm going to, I'm doing a bunch of fall dates. They're selling well. It's big theaters, so it's like I'm a little nervous. But they're selling pretty good, you know? But it's one of those things where when you do small shows and sell them out, you feel good, but when you have these big rooms, you're like, fuck, I hope this just keeps selling

Starting point is 01:49:38 at this new space. Oh, it's so scary. That almost became too scary for me. It's one, it becomes, I had a real problem with that. And I still do sometimes. It's like, I'm afraid, yeah, it's like the last, there's something inside of me, the last thing I want. Man, this is crazy.

Starting point is 01:49:55 I didn't really realize this. Is there's a huge fear that somebody's not going to show up for me. Yeah, yeah. So, and it doesn't mean like actual people buying. It's not, but it's like, goes back to like being a child. It's like somebody's not going to be there. Oh dude, absolutely.

Starting point is 01:50:09 So if I put, if I, you put something out there, you basically opening and saying, hey, will you be here for me? And it's kind of different because it's a transactional thing and it's, but it's still the same like concept. No, I get it. You're putting yourself out, especially when it's like one level higher

Starting point is 01:50:23 than you're used to. And it's like, when you're putting yourself, when you're at risk, right? When you've made yourself vulnerable. And then you're like, oh, I know I could have done this smaller place, but it's like, I hope all these people that it seems like are there are going to show up.

Starting point is 01:50:38 And then if they don't, yeah, it feels fucking horrible, but things are going good so far. So can knock on wood. Oh man, you're so funny. They definitely will continue to go good. I think I, yeah, I noticed even more on that topic that, yeah, I commit to my, like work is my biggest relationship cause it's like the safest, most controlled place

Starting point is 01:50:56 to even be vulnerable. Dude, I fully, I felt that happening where it was like, which is a little scary, right? Cause you're like, you stop being a person and you just become like, oh yeah, I'm just got to keep crushing this. Cause this is, this is going good. I know I can control this.

Starting point is 01:51:12 I have full control over it. And you start like, like I started feeling like depressed when I had time off when I, but while I was in it, I was like, I can't wait for some time off. Need a couple of days off. I'm fucking run down. And then you get it and you're like, the fuck do I even do?

Starting point is 01:51:29 Like, you know what I mean? It's like, you don't have the, so I was like, and I felt, and then when I went back to work, even though it was like, like I had a month, I had a like a stretch where I was on the road, like seven weeks in a row. And the one week I had off, I had to do a different trip. And it was like just too much.

Starting point is 01:51:45 But when it starts, you're like, at least I know what I have to do. There's no ambiguity. There's no think, you know, if you're like me, there's like no, your own thoughts. You don't even have time to think. Cause it's like, I have to be on the road every weekend. I have to podcast at some point, you know,

Starting point is 01:52:02 in between that and then, you know, you have to do fucking YouTube videos where all this other shit. And it's like, there is something freeing to not having to make a decision. But then at the same time, and there's something that feels awesome where it's all going good, right? You see the fucking, the numbers go up

Starting point is 01:52:18 and the feeling, you know, the feeling of success. But that is a little, that can be a trap too. Cause some of the shit you can't have control of. That's the, that's the scary thing is like, yeah, you gotta kind of put yourself, you gotta have that vulnerability with just the person or people in your life or like some other shit that just not work.

Starting point is 01:52:39 Yeah, I think when I was a kid, I think I take everything back to when I was a kid. I'm like, I love just, you know, walking through my own haunted house all the time. Of course, of course. Oh, that's gone. That's gone for good. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:52:52 You're uncle almost blessed. You are. You know. But yeah, I think that like, just going back until like, yeah, is somebody going to be there? Is, am I going to be like, I think wanting to be seen too.

Starting point is 01:53:10 Why you even end up doing it? You know? Why do I need to go have people show me that they see me? And I think comedy, it's like, show me you see me in a very real way. It's like, I need proof. I need audible. I need to see it and I need to hear it.

Starting point is 01:53:28 Right, right, right. And I need it every 15 seconds. And I need it to be undeniable. And that's one thing I think about if somebody's laughing, it's kind of, if they're genuinely laughing, it's undeniable. Absolutely.

Starting point is 01:53:38 So it's like, I need, I don't trust things enough in the space that I'm in or in the like home space I'm in that I need undeniable proof that you see me. Absolutely. And it has to be almost from like a cellular level. So that's why it has to be, right. Involuntary, laughter is the one like involuntary thing

Starting point is 01:53:56 where it's like, yeah, you, even if you're trying not to laugh, you'll still laugh if it's something hits you just right. Oh yeah. It's just like a fee, it's like feelings just farting right out of your skin. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Joy feelings, feeling that joy.

Starting point is 01:54:09 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get into a little bit of news, man. You got a few more minutes, you gotta go. Fuck yeah, I don't know. We've actually, Stavros does a advice line show. So we did enough you wanted to do a couple of voice mails together. Oh, I would love that.

Starting point is 01:54:21 Yeah, Stavi's world we do half the show is advice. So I'd love to help the, love to help the fam out. All right, let's bring it up. So Stavi, you have on your show, you have. Yeah, Stavi's world we do half voice mail. So it's like, we bring somebody on and next time, you know, come anytime you want, come do the show for sure.

Starting point is 01:54:37 This has been so much fun, man. Yeah, dude, we just fuck around for the first half out for the first 45 minutes of the show. And then we do advice. And people just call in with all types of shit. So. Praise. Yeah, Stavi's world, we got two episodes a week,

Starting point is 01:54:48 one free, one Patreon. So yeah, dude. Yeah, so I'd love to help some of the fucking. Let's see what we got here. Play it up, brother. Kind of like a callback to a classic that was on the show. We'd like to get like, just Starros's take on it. Okay.

Starting point is 01:55:05 Hey, Dio, I'm calling. I have, I've worked in a learning center. And these past few weeks, I've been having, there's just been, I worked with special ed kids. And, you know, it's, it's a job, it gets stuff done. But recently there's been a kid named James. He has autism. And recently he's been trying to sexually assault me.

Starting point is 01:55:43 And no, I don't really care, but it's more frightening for the other students. And the thing is, you know, I know they can't help it and stuff, but every time that he does it, he just has this look in his eyes, this lustful, evil look, almost like he knows what he's doing and he knows that it's wrong. He'll be, you know, he'll be running around

Starting point is 01:56:09 and he'll be, stop that James, stop it James, please stop. What's he doing? You know, he'll be a helicopter in it. And it's just, it's scary. And we're a little, we're a little afraid for our safety. Okay, that's it. No way. This isn't fucking real.

Starting point is 01:56:26 That sounds real to me. You don't think that that's real? Hell, this kid's pulling his cock out and flipping it around in class. What would you do if you pulled your cock out? I guess I would give it an up and down. I don't know if I'm a full helicopter. Maybe that's a size issue.

Starting point is 01:56:39 Maybe this autistic has got a nice fucking piece. He's really letting it hang. I would go up and down just because the helicopter's not as impressive when the circumference of the helicopter, when it's like a mini, when it's like a hummingbird. Yeah. It's like a drone.

Starting point is 01:56:56 It's a drone. It's a drone. It's a drone. It's a drone. It's a drone. Oh, I need your lust book. Yeah, I think, oh, I think the first thing you do if you've already exposed your penis,

Starting point is 01:57:05 you have to then, and then you realize, okay, this is weird. I don't know what to do now. You need a little motion. I think you have to spin your penis. Okay, that's fair. And this kid's doing it on a primal autistic level too. He's just kind of connected.

Starting point is 01:57:17 It's like he's not thinking he's just pulling his dick out. Very limbic system. It's like very much, if you are, you see this a lot on Nature Channel. Yeah. You know where the monkey will kind of, the way a monkey uses his penis, this kid probably uses his penis.

Starting point is 01:57:33 Yeah, or a grasshopper or something that will, or like one of those little like lizards or something. They'll clean off all the area around him and then they'll make their thing real big like this. They'll make their little like a... Like a mating... Like a hat kind of. It's like a part of the back,

Starting point is 01:57:50 just like a fake hat pops out behind their head. And it's like red and blue. Yeah, yeah. But I think everybody has their mating call. And so you think this kid's pulling his penis out as his mating call? I think, what else would it be? If you're autistic?

Starting point is 01:58:07 I don't know. That's the thing I think everybody's gotta, everybody has primal needs, man. Yeah. It doesn't even matter. I would think, okay, so if he's really this horny, isn't his dick hard? And once your dick is hard,

Starting point is 01:58:19 you're not really in the helicopter zone. Doesn't have that much... I wonder if autism can get an erection, oh man. Oh, I think they can. You think? Oh yeah. I think they could probably get real nice ones cause they're not up in their head.

Starting point is 01:58:31 Like we said, it's limbic. Oh yeah. I have some anxiety problems sometimes. My dick's like getting hard cause I'm, you know, nervous. Yeah. This kid's not nervous. Especially if his dick is out in math class. You know, he's like overridden.

Starting point is 01:58:42 Yeah. His dick has overridden his feeble autistic mind. Yeah. And just gotten hard. Like with, you know... This root is square. Yeah. I don't think that, I think this guy's lying though.

Starting point is 01:58:55 That's the right, at least rectangle. This is bricked up. This is a cylinder. What about, do you think this guy's lying? I think so. Wow, it's funny cause yeah, I didn't think he would. I could feel a smile on his lips. I could hear the smile on his lips.

Starting point is 01:59:11 Yeah, you could be right. I just feel like if a kid is pulling his dick out in special ed, first of all, there's no way it doesn't happen. Well, it happens in regular ed. Yeah. If somebody tells you you're special, you're definitely gonna pull your dick out. I feel like it's the first thing I'm gonna do.

Starting point is 01:59:28 Okay, so maybe though, but you're not though. So maybe they've misdiagnosed him. Maybe this is a form of rebellion. Although he claims he's got an evil lustful look in his eyes. And he says he's sexually assaulting him, which means he thinks the kid is trying to rape him or? I think he said the kid has a look in his eyes and the kid is trying to be sexually deviant.

Starting point is 01:59:48 But I believe that the kid is just trying to advance sexually. Now let's, how about this? Isn't this a perfect place for sex robots? Cause you don't wanna jack the kid off that small station. Right? But if there is a, in fact, sex robots in like high school special ed, that might be the place they're most needed. Just get them, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 02:00:12 Clear their brain. They're up against enough challenges learning how to read already. You don't want them hard too. You should have to milk every special ed kid before you start a lesson. I've actually flipped completely on this. I think this is the natural way to deal with this.

Starting point is 02:00:30 We need those Chinese dick sucking machines that Jordan Pearson retweeted. I don't know if you saw that. No? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you gotta, if you bring in robots just for sex. Yeah, I wonder, I don't know. I think you'd almost have to have a parent

Starting point is 02:00:43 of a child like this. They would have to sign a permission slip for sure. That's what I'm saying. You can't just, I think, send a robot in there. Or be like, hey, who's got 50 cents? You know, it's in the hall. Yeah, yeah. I think a gumball machine.

Starting point is 02:00:56 You put the, you turn it. Cause they used to let us all out to get a candy every now and then. You're actually, you know what? That's true. The school nurse has to. I think you have to have someone there. Cause they can't be, cause if it was like.

Starting point is 02:01:12 But then are you teaching a autistic kid, sorry I stepped on you, go on. No, no, no, no, no, no, please. Are you, I don't know. But is it Pavlov's dog? Now are they gonna get horny every time they learning you fact? You know, you've taught them to evacuate their nuts

Starting point is 02:01:27 before learning. That's a good point. That's, yeah. And then you might, you might have to do it the opposite. You listen all day. We let the robot suck your dick. You know. I can't throw about his master.

Starting point is 02:01:38 I don't like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I guess you're right. You can jack him off. I feel like if I have autism and you put your, I just like the, the. Century overload. Yes. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:01:47 Of a robot, like, you know. Yeah, it would be more of a jacking off thing. And it wouldn't look like a woman. We want this to feel medical. Okay. It would just be a hole you put your, your special penis inside of, and it just drains you and get you

Starting point is 02:02:03 in the mind frame for learning. Docile. You know. Yeah, ready to learn? Ready to learn, dude. Honestly. It's crazy, brother. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:02:17 I feel like I would learn, I would have learned a lot better in high school. If they like, somebody jacked me off right before. You would have been, you would have just gotten in line over and over. Yeah, that's true. You would have missed every class. Well, that's why it has to be control.

Starting point is 02:02:33 You'd have had a book bag full of dried out semen. I would hope they. You would still be in school there. Yeah. I'm thinking, I'm in community college. I'm thinking continuing education. You'd weigh 19 pounds, you'd have no, you'd have nothing left in your body.

Starting point is 02:02:56 That's true. You're right. Let's get, let's see what other news we got. It's not a perfect solution. But yeah, that age, man. That's tough. Oh, it would be just, it would be a lot, huh? I just remember specific lessons I probably missed

Starting point is 02:03:14 because I was thinking about. Sex so much? Yeah. I had a hot teacher, you know what I mean? Think about getting, Oh yeah. We had a lady when she would come over, I would say, I don't know what this is, right?

Starting point is 02:03:24 And she would come over and I would be so just caught up with like the smell of her and like the, and even just her possible tits. Like, and she had like nine layers of clothing. She had like clothing from like the 1600s. She had all of that with the collar. A frilly collar. Oh, definitely.

Starting point is 02:03:39 She had bra, over bra, under bra. Yeah. She had her tits, she had an under bite on her tits. She had every thing you could have, right? As much as you could, you know? Yeah. And you could still feel her tits, her tit meat somehow.

Starting point is 02:03:56 She's being closer to it. Radiating through all that clothing. Oh dude, believe me. I had, one of my teachers in sixth grade. You just wanted to get in there. She had humongous fake titties. Oh, fake ones? Yeah.

Starting point is 02:04:07 Oh, they didn't allow them at our school. I remember that. It was natural. You only had natural red. He had to have big natties to teach. They did a silik, they put it through an MRI. Make sure there's no silicone in those titties. The principal's like, OK, checks out.

Starting point is 02:04:30 These feel good. Well, back then, they had the one, you could tell if they were fake enough. Back then, that is true. The technology's gotten really nice. It looked like everyone looked like somebody had vacuum sealed. Couple chicken cutlets.

Starting point is 02:04:43 A bachi bowl. Everyone was like, jeez. They were a little too heavy. You could see exactly where that, yeah. They were so tight, too. I was like, man, this thing. This lady, to my knowledge, had pretty awesome tits. To your knowledge.

Starting point is 02:05:00 She didn't have multiple layers. She was putting them out there. No, good or wrong. You wouldn't see cleavage, but it would be one of those things with just a tight t-shirt. Oh, man. She has big old titties. Yeah, this lady, I wanted to drive right

Starting point is 02:05:12 through her tits with a small car. A Geometro, drive a Geometro through her tits. Yeah. Yeah. And I would have left the windows down and just. Oh, yeah. Well, another, I remember speaking of just being in proximity of titties or hot girls or whatever.

Starting point is 02:05:32 But you remember how exciting. Dude, my neck would turn red if I got around some tits. Yeah. And I was like, oh my fucking god. I remember when I was in fifth grade, I had to wear a scarf for like three months, dude, because I was just so horny. Because I remember the blood would like.

Starting point is 02:05:49 It would just. You had an anti-irection scarf? I don't know. I just remember the blood would come to the edge of my skin. It was like, get me out of here. Oh, man. I remember I, because I had, I had a full, beautiful head of hair in high school.

Starting point is 02:06:10 I had this, this hair length, but it was like even longer and like curlier and nice. And, you know, my school, my high school was like, it was like, you know, most, it was like 85% black or 90% black and then, of course, Greek, I was cool. I was like, I was on the football team. I was a fun, funny guy, you know, whatever. I was hanging out.

Starting point is 02:06:32 And girls would just love to just play with your curly white hair, you know what I mean? Girls would love to like braid my hair. And I just remember just like, just feeling the warmth of a pussy, like when a girl is like standing over you. Yeah. But no, I mean like. Oh, you feel, oh, yeah.

Starting point is 02:06:52 This girl almost had a heater. I don't know what was going on. She had a little convection oven. Oh, yeah. Between her, between her legs. And I remember feeling eat. Oh, yeah. On my neck.

Starting point is 02:07:02 And I was like, this is awesome. It's a real thing. Look up, the is the vagina warmer. Oh, for sure. At we can't say it in children. Yeah, yeah, do teens and be careful what you look up, dude, because I don't think you can do stuff like that. And you're.

Starting point is 02:07:27 Yeah, no, but I think probably when you're developing and for the record, I was 16, she was 16. Yeah. And everybody, even in my imagination right now is 38 years old. Oh, we're going to go to jail, bro. No, you didn't search it. So we're good.

Starting point is 02:07:46 Did you search it? No, when is the vagina warmest was the closest I was willing to get to. OK, that could be time of day. OK, let's see what it says. Or maybe we shouldn't, it sounds like. Imaginal temperature indicative of thermal. Is winter vagina a real thing?

Starting point is 02:08:09 Let's look at that. Maybe this will get us out of trouble. To put it mildly, not all experts are convinced this is a real problem. What's going on here? This is very bloggy. The vagina maintains a steady temperature and human body temperature only rises

Starting point is 02:08:26 to the outside temperature when someone is suffering from heat stroke. Maybe this girl was out in the sun too long. Because I do remember just an emanating pussy heat. Oh, I remember being around a woman's vagina, dude, and just the first time you even like. Well, I remember the first time we even like a girl allowed you to put your deviant, criminal,

Starting point is 02:08:48 perverted fucking claws on her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And how every part of her body was like a. And you would touch anything. Yeah, we'd be like, whoa, what's going on here? Just put your elbow in my. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, oh, yeah. I remember being so excited, brother,

Starting point is 02:09:05 just to be alive and be just touch woman. But I do remember around there like. Oovler, whatever, that it would be warmer. Yeah, or it would seem warmer. It could have been in your brain. Could have been in your brain. Could have just been how bad you wanted access to some pussy. Because you felt like like the briefcase in Pulp Fiction

Starting point is 02:09:27 was just like that's what pussy was in your head. Was just like yeah, yeah, there's been plenty of those. Close the briefcase. We're leaving fast. But I'll change around a third in the ocean. Yeah, man, it would just you would be so. I mean, just geeked up when you just I mean, it was like even if a woman wasn't going to let you touch her.

Starting point is 02:09:55 But even just the fact that she let you put her hands. I don't know why first time just being around a damn tiddy. I remember putting my ear up to it. This girl that it was like the first girl I ever even dated and out of summer, putting my ear up to it and hearing the ocean. No, I think I even remember this is kind of crazy. But I think I even remember doing like the Pledge of Allegiance. That would make me patriotic.

Starting point is 02:10:24 The first time I see tits. That's a beautiful moment. I mean, that's all that's breast autism. I mean, it's like I think it's as close as you can get, probably. Knowing that you have these feelings and they are just. They take you over. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, for sure.

Starting point is 02:10:47 I mean, I remember just the first time when you guys made love. Where was it? In an apartment, like a dorm. The first time I got pussy was in a dorm. That's beautiful. But it was nice. It was cool because it was like my college girlfriend wanted to kind of like wait. And she was like, all right, well, you know, I had gotten jacked off.

Starting point is 02:11:07 I had gotten, I think she blew me and it was like, she's like, all right, well, now you can go down on me. And I was like, great. And she just, she, I had her pussy. Oh, brother, I licked her cooter. Is that better tickled her cooter? And I remember being like feeling proud of myself because her plan was to just let me lick her cooter over to you.

Starting point is 02:11:35 And she was like, you know what, maybe we could just have sex right now. She said that. Yeah, she's like, let's just fuck it out. And it was like, and like, let's have sex now. And I was like, real nice. And it was all, it was like incredible. And I was just like, I can't, this is incredible. But like, I felt like I earned my natural pussy eating abilities.

Starting point is 02:11:51 I hadn't eaten, I think that's the first time I ate a girl out. Like I had like fingered a girl before, you know, but I'd never like. And was it daytime or was it even? Daytime, yeah. First time I had sex was like, it was like 11 a.m. It was like, it was like fucking, Price's Right is on. Bro, imagine. I think I literally went to like lunch with like, like a, like a family friend.

Starting point is 02:12:16 Afterwards, I think it was like, we were, she was over my, my dorm. And it was like, what do you, what do you do? What are you up to today, Starvy? They were just talking about shit. And I was just like, like, I think it was like a guy I was trying to get an internship with. Like, right. I busted the first time inside a woman ever. And this guy's talking to me about like, Greek town development.

Starting point is 02:12:38 And I'm like, I don't give a fuck about any of this. Yeah, you're like, I'm having a kid in nine months. It was in a console. What, why can't it? Where this apartment complex goes? Let's get some more news up. What else is going on out there? I'm trying to think of what I've been seeing.

Starting point is 02:12:52 No, dude, I haven't been. Well, they have this beer, the beer, all this, a lot of stuff with trans activism, you know? Shout out to them. Yeah. And it's got to be, but what is it? What is being trans? Yeah. I mean, I know it's like, is it?

Starting point is 02:13:08 I know it's men or women who want to be the other, right? Yeah. Or they feel stuck inside of you. They feel wrongfully convicted. Yeah, I think that's a good way to put it. Convicted in the wrong body. Right. And that's what it seems like to me anyway.

Starting point is 02:13:26 Although some people just want to go, I'm neither. I'm non-binary, you know? I'm throwing on some overalls. I'm just hanging out. I'm getting, honestly, a haircut a lot like yours. Oh, you have so many. A lot of nines there. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 02:13:40 But I think Mullen is a pretty nice non-binary look. Yeah. Do you think, what do you think? Because there's a lot of companies now that are advertising stuff, right? I mean, this is hilarious. Kid Rock. Just fucking chill out, Kid Rock.

Starting point is 02:13:53 I mean, Kid Rock's just, but he's also Kid Rock. I know. You know, I'm Bud Light and fucking Anheuser Bush. Have a terrific day. Well, you really showed them buying their shit and shooting it with guns. And then basically giving them an advertisement. Like, everyone who likes trans people is going to be like,

Starting point is 02:14:14 damn, Kid Rock's dumb. I'm going to get some Bud Light. Also, I didn't know this, but Kid Rock apparently grew up rich. He grew up at least middle class. Yeah. His family had a car dealership, I think. Oh, OK, nice. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:14:29 I think the thing about it, I think, is that the place that he's coming from is do, or they try, like, what is it? I just wonder, what is the business? What is it? Is there a business goal of it? Does it seem? That's what I'm just curious about it,

Starting point is 02:14:52 because it seems like an interesting move. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See, that's the thing. That's what I think has kind of been blown kind of crazily out of proportion is, like, trans people that I know, they just want to be trans. Right. They just want to, like, not be, like, kill.

Starting point is 02:15:08 Like, because that's the thing. If you're, like, going M to F, if you're, like, born a man, you transition to female, it's like, that's, like, a lot of them, like, become sex workers. A lot of them, like, get, like, violence against them, but the guys who feel like they've been either tricked or, like, whatever. And it's, like, a pretty scary thing to, you know,

Starting point is 02:15:29 it's a pretty, like, tough lifestyle. And they're just, like, hey, I just want, like, not to be killed and to be, like, basically respected and to be able to go to, like, the doctor. And I just don't, it's such a low percentage of people, too. That's what, it's crazy to me that we're having this discussion. That's the part, to me, is interesting. It's such a small, and I wonder, are you helping trans people

Starting point is 02:15:48 buy, like, Bud Light, like, is this the move to help? Because I totally understand what you're saying. Like, imagine if you are, if you feel that way, right? Imagine if you really feel it, right? Yeah. Now, I think there's a big, there could be a difference between people who really feel it and also now, if they're commercializing it or if they're

Starting point is 02:16:09 sensationalizing it so much, that a mind that isn't sure now adapts to it to, like, have a cause. Because people can grasp onto a lot of causes, right? For sure. And I think, like, I think, like, with any kind of thing that gets a lot of publicity, you will have people that are, like, just unsure will, like, reach onto it. And you will have, here's the thing, with anything

Starting point is 02:16:35 that gets any traction, you'll get people doing it cynically to get famous, right? But the way that there's, like, it's, like, a 1% of people are trans,.001 of them are, like, these weird people doing it for attention, you know? So it's, like, that's what is crazy about these discussions, is, like, for the most part, what we're talking about is, like, let people have jobs, you know?

Starting point is 02:16:57 Like, just let them have basic, the way I look at it, right? It was, like, just let them go about their lives without facing discrimination and, like, who gives a fuck? Yeah. What do you care if somebody, like, was born a guy, wants to chop their dick off and be a girl? Yeah. Why does that bother you?

Starting point is 02:17:14 And I do find it a little ironic where it's, like, especially people that are talking about, like, you know, like, not to get super political with it, but it's, like, the states that are very anti-the-trans shit, it's, like, you have people talking about how they want limited government, but then they're, like, oh, I have to check your daughters to see if your daughter has a vagina before.

Starting point is 02:17:34 Like, Florida was talking about a bill where they're tracking girls' periods to prove their biological female, and it's, like, wait. Like a whoop bracelet or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A whoop strap. Florida, yeah. Ronda Santos wanted one around, like, teen girls' pussies.

Starting point is 02:17:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Inside of them. And it's, like, aren't you supposed to be the one for, like, limited government, but we're checking girls' periods? It's just, like, or they made it, like, illegal to mention a period? It's, like, dude, it's fucking crazy. And I'm just, like, I don't get, like,

Starting point is 02:18:03 I have some trans friends, I don't understand. Yeah, I don't understand why it's a bit, like, if someone's trans, let them be trans. Yeah. Like, I would never be upset at anybody that's trans, or, like, I would be very curious what it's really like. For sure. I would be very curious in today's world what,

Starting point is 02:18:18 if someone is, like, just gay and they see an option to be for a clout or just totally straight and seasoned, because there's such a me, it's such a, like, yeah, like, you know, a currency out there now that I could see that being some, but I don't say that to diminish it, because those people are also diminishing if people are really dealing with that.

Starting point is 02:18:39 Like, for sure. I don't know, I guess, I guess I'll just wonder, is this the best person to introduce that to the world? Like, because a lot of people now are just starting to talk about trans, which maybe is good, but it's such a small percentage of people. I guess that is to understand, is this going to be helpful to trans people, because it almost, like,

Starting point is 02:19:00 if I'm a trans person, right, and my life is tough, right? If I really am, if I, because I believe that, you know, I mean, God makes so many cookies, man, you could. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Something, or nature could be also merging, you don't know. Yeah. I also think in, like, other societies, like, ancient ones, people were kind of, like, in between genders

Starting point is 02:19:20 and other societies had, like, multiple genders. Yeah, look at Robin Hood. Yeah, exactly. Those guys were in tights. Come on. You're telling me. Somebody threw on Maid Marion's dress. Big John was a bear, dude.

Starting point is 02:19:33 But I just want, I guess, I wonder if, like I say, like a regular trans person who does not want the wild attention, right, and who just is trying to figure out their thing, do they think that this is, I wonder if this is, feels comfortable to them, that now it's this thing, it's, like, attached to be, it's, like, I don't know. I know what you mean, like, it's become like a, like, well, anytime, like, advertising or whatever, you know,

Starting point is 02:19:59 when you become super mainstream. But I think a lot of the attention is unwanted, I think, for the most part. But I do think it's because, it's, like, kind of a political backlash because I think, I think of what, I don't want to get fucking super political here, right? Yeah, maybe we are getting too political.

Starting point is 02:20:13 But, but it, but there is something to a culture war thing where conservatives have been very shrewd, starting with, like, Carl Rove, where it was, like, they, it started with gay marriage, right? And it's, like, because people are, like, like, shit sucks in America for a lot of poor people. But I think when you don't, when you don't want to offer poor people anything in terms of, like,

Starting point is 02:20:37 material help in terms of, like, better schools, better, you know, healthcare, like, healthcare's a big issue, right? Like, people are fucked and everything's getting more privatized and there's less, like, support. I think the way that you, that, that you get people to, like, vote for you is you, like, rile them up and scare them, whether that, and, like,

Starting point is 02:20:55 there's this big backlash against trans people because I think it's become a conservative boogie man where they're talking about, like, you know, drag queens and they're talking about how drag queens are gonna, like, groom your, like, they're calling gay people groomers and shit and I think that's really dangerous and I think that attention has come

Starting point is 02:21:10 because trans people are being used as a political tool in the negative, whereas, like, I mean, dude, it's so funny to hear people talk about how drag queens are, like, you know, oh, they're so dangerous for kids where it's like drag queens, like, you think they molest people? Like, politicians and priests are up two million kids to zero on molested drag queens. It's like drag queens.

Starting point is 02:21:35 At least two million or maybe a thousand. Maybe, like, a thousand. Yeah, yeah, maybe there's one, yeah, there's one of them who was, whatever. But it's like, still, drag queens are gonna start having to do, like, flee flickers and, like, trick plays to get back in the game compared to priests, compared to fucking,

Starting point is 02:21:48 compared to politicians. They're the ones fucking kids and it's like, it's just become this political ploy, you know? But it's like, yeah. I mean, look, that's a really great point, man. I think what I hear a lot of times that people are scared of, especially on the backs of, like, the vaccine and stuff like that, people are scared that, well,

Starting point is 02:22:07 is this another reach where they're trying to, where the media will then use, like, a lot of, like, film, television, exposure about gender uncertainty and then to start to get young people to want to take, like, a gender blocker, right? Or some type of a medicine, right? And I don't know enough about the medicine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 02:22:32 But I think, as when I look even how influenced I was, I mean, I watched WWE Raston for you. Yeah, yeah, if the rock cut his dick off, you'd be thinking about it. Dude, if somebody threw my grandmother against the ropes, if somebody just threw my grandmother against the ropes, I would have kicked that bitch's head off. That's how influenced I was about WWE, bro.

Starting point is 02:22:52 Yeah, sure, sure, yeah, absolutely. It was over, bro. No amount of calcium pills was gonna bring her back. So I think that's a lot of people's fear. It's like, man, there's so much influence over my children that if they start to use this chip, are they then just gonna come in with another medicine on the back of COVID where a lot of people

Starting point is 02:23:12 are skeptical about the vaccine now and rightfully so? Yeah. So I think that's probably a lot of, I think that's a lot of the fear. Yeah, but I think the molestation part, you're right. It's like, yeah, it's like, oh, you can't molest my kids. I'll let them, you know, it's only gonna be done by my own. Yeah, by my preacher.

Starting point is 02:23:29 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, not a guy with lipstick. Which again, it's not like, I do think, I just don't think, I just don't, I'm not convinced that the numbers are that big where it's like, all of a sudden, all these kids are transitioning because they think it's cool. I think it's so hard to do that.

Starting point is 02:23:45 Like people would say that about like, in like sports, right? Or like Leah, they were talking about that swimmer who like was trans and then was like a much better swimmer as a woman than she was a man. The idea that you would cut your dick off to win fucking college swimming, you really want that bronze medal in college swimming that bad that you're gonna chop your nuts off?

Starting point is 02:24:08 It's like, I don't know. That's like, and then have people like. You'd swim faster without it. Yeah, nuts might be weighing you down. Sure, you're a seal. But it just like, I guess I'm not convinced that like, I think a lot of this shit is just fear mongering for no reason. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:24:22 And especially when you see the statistics, like I saw some poll, I don't know, I don't know if like we can find it, but it was like, there's like a poll of shit of like the percentage people thought. We're trans? A bunch of things, not just trans, but like a ton of stuff.

Starting point is 02:24:34 Like how many people are Muslim in America? How many people like get whatever? And everyone overestimated everything. And that like, I think, I literally think like a percentage of trans people in America is like, like 1%. I think we looked up the other day, it was 1.7 million, about 5% of young adults in the U.S. say their gender is different from their sex number.

Starting point is 02:24:51 See now, this article sounds so delusional to me, right? 5% of youth, it could be, now that could be, they asked a hundred youths in Brooklyn outside, you know. That's the thing about articles, you just don't know, but that kind of percentage, yeah, you see that. It could definitely make people think what's going on. And then you get, yeah, you get scared. And then there's just so scary, man.

Starting point is 02:25:14 I also think there's a difference between like fully transitioning and being like, hey, I do think there's a lot of kids who are like, hey, maybe I'm non-binary. Maybe I'm like, I'm not gonna change anything medically, but like maybe I'm gonna start, instead of being called Eric, my name is now Sock. And I'm half a guy, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 02:25:31 Like it is, there is like, there is some change in that. I think definitely, I think I have more young friends who are like, maybe open to experimenting with gender in that they think, you know, the way every generation has different radical ideas to older people. And I think that's another thing I try and think about is like, you don't wanna be the old guy who's like, well, that's not right.

Starting point is 02:25:53 That's not how I had it, you know what I mean? Like the part of me is like, I defer to young people sometimes a little bit. And some of this is like, people are gonna find themselves and they're gonna like settle down. And it's like, whatever they might, those percentages might like drop or whatever. But it's just like, I think this shit is kind of like fluid

Starting point is 02:26:12 and like always changing. But ultimately, I don't think it's dangerous. Like that's the thing, it's like, who gives a fuck if somebody wants to change their name or like be perceived as something else? I don't understand why you fucking care. Yeah, well, I don't think that, I feel like a lot of people probably don't.

Starting point is 02:26:29 Yeah, but I think if it came to a point where then a kid could go get, say if I'm 14, right? Yeah, sure. And I don't know how I'm feeling, right? Maybe I'm gay, maybe I'm straight, maybe women just don't like me, bro. I mean, there was times when I was younger, when I thought that women didn't like me enough that I thought maybe I'm supposed to like men.

Starting point is 02:26:48 Dude, me too. I was like, maybe I'll just be gay. I was like, there must be something wrong with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That maybe, and in my head, somehow I'm messed up. I'm not messed up, but I am, I'm not seeing things clearly. Yeah, yeah, for sure. No, I'm with you there.

Starting point is 02:27:03 So say if you're going through that, and then you decide to, that's where it's like, I just don't like it when there's possibility for the drugs to get involved. That's the part for me that's like, man, I don't know, because I got on and at a presence at a young age and I can't get off of them, you know? So I don't know. It's definitely interesting.

Starting point is 02:27:20 And I think, look, we've had some good thoughts about it, you know, and some good like discussion about it. And I will say just from like, I've hooked up with some people who are they-them, non-binary. I've gotten some excellent they-them pussy. Damn, really? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Wow, bro.

Starting point is 02:27:36 No joke. The best head I've gotten is a tie between two they-them people. It was awesome. Damn. Yeah. Probably traditionally appeared, you know, if you saw them, you'd probably go, that's a girl. Oh yeah, that leap year.

Starting point is 02:27:50 You know what I mean? But still, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So shout out to, you know, they-them pussy is very powerful and it's out there. The Lord's leap year, too. Yeah, that's it, baby. Exactly, exactly. And look, a lot of like Asian people,

Starting point is 02:28:02 I think, are against this sort of thing. They're very like gender, you know? You samurai or ninja. Yeah, it's like they're even starting to name their kids, I think, like, him, him was one of the- It was like, nobody's confusing my son. Him-him? Him.

Starting point is 02:28:24 He-him, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's him and him, he's a rapper. Oh, that was lame, that was a lame joke. You know what's interesting, man, is that I wonder a lot what nature's doing. Like, because that's what we don't know. We don't know what nature is doing. We don't know.

Starting point is 02:28:41 Every second that we are alive, every- Like, right now, right now, right now, that's what nature's doing. So we don't know also if nature is doing something genetically where in the future we're all gonna be one color, one, you know, ambidextrous- Ambidextrous, yeah. We're in, like, just an ambidextrous holster

Starting point is 02:29:01 around our waist, you know? That's true. You could, like, remember, like, the, like, WWE figures where you could, like, switch the heads? And it was like, maybe you could do that with genitals soon. It could. Or it's like you, like, you just- You flip your dick, it goes into your ass,

Starting point is 02:29:15 and now you got a pussy. Or maybe you got a pussy under your balls. Maybe that's how we evolve. Imagine if you lifted up your balls. And you had a vagina under it? You had a vagina right under it. Or maybe you were like, now it's time for the show, and you just pull a little rope that's on your leg.

Starting point is 02:29:34 Your balls spread apart like they're curtains? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But I just, then why are they, I don't know why, if it's a small thing, and I feel like it's a, I just feel like it's such a sensitive topic for whoever's really going through that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 02:29:52 That I don't know if it's the right thing for a company to come along. I don't know. See, I- You know what I'm saying? I do know what you're saying, like- Or what I'm questioning. I just, I don't know.

Starting point is 02:30:02 It's hard to feel that out. I understand the question. I think like, pause, I think anything that kind of normalizes a struggle that somebody's going through is fine. You know, it's like, okay, like I see what you're saying, where it's like it brings attention to it. And the negative attention to me is a problem, but it's like, it's on the people who are negative about it.

Starting point is 02:30:21 Like, you know, I'm obviously very, like, I just don't, I think the real problems are the legislative, is the legislative stuff that's happening against trans people personally, where it's like it's making their lives difficult. It's making some people not be able to get like, medical care, it's, you know- Insurance will find any reason not to give you anything.

Starting point is 02:30:39 Well, that's the other thing is like, yeah. That's another problem with our country, where it's like, so many of our biggest problems come down to, we don't have our basics covered in the richest country in the history of the world, which is so fucked up. Like, no one should be fucking- Well, it's not profitable. It's not, you know, it comes down to a bottom line.

Starting point is 02:30:57 You start to feel like a, you know, you start to feel like a pawn, I think. That's, I think that's another thing. It's such a time where everything that the media does feels like someone is being pawned, that I think that just, everything these days, I feel like, kind of makes me a little bit nervous.

Starting point is 02:31:13 Yeah, I'm with you too. I am a little- Like, what's the shell game here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a little pessimistic about the course we're on in general, just because of, like, you know, global warming shit, but also, like, inequality in America is so crazy, where it's like, yeah, dude.

Starting point is 02:31:28 And I think a lot of the anger that you see in general, like, even, like, even for some people, trends have become like a boogeyman. And it's like, they're angry because, yeah, their family member has fucking cancer. Insurance doesn't cover it. Their job has been, you know, their job is gone. There's no fucking, you know, a train gets derailed.

Starting point is 02:31:46 No one's fucking cleaning it up. Now they have fucking poison in their, in their water. And it's like, these are all things that could be covered with, like, if we held our government accountable, and they just, like, we had to, they had to provide basic needs for people. But everything is gone, kind of, to shit. And it's like, it's easy to start

Starting point is 02:32:04 disagreeing about the stuff that does not matter when you're just so angry, because you feel like you're getting screwed, because we are getting screwed, but we're getting screwed by, in my opinion, big corporations, by everyone who's just, like, gobbling up all the money and making sure that it's like, you know, wage is having place with inflation.

Starting point is 02:32:22 You know, minimum wage, if it was like what it was in the 70s, now it should be like, you know, like 40 bucks an hour or something. You know what I mean? Like, I think that's the root of all, like, our disagreements and all the anger here. And I think... Oh, yeah, when people don't feel like they do not belong to.

Starting point is 02:32:38 Yeah, taken care of or they're working too hard. It used to feel like you also, well, at the same time that you're kicking down the traditions of the country, you know, and at the same time that you're taking away, like, or you're making it harder, I think, I don't know. It's a lot.

Starting point is 02:32:54 There's a lot of stuff. I'm not trying to not think about it. It's just a lot. Yeah, no, for sure. And maybe I'll turn the subject so we can get into something a little happier. Yeah, we have the funny ones we can go into. Okay, let's get into one of two funnier ones, man.

Starting point is 02:33:07 Sorry about that. Look, man, I love thinking about it. I'm with you, too. I mean, I just, I really do think... And I think it's important to talk to think about. For sure. You know, because that's the thing. I don't know anybody that is trans,

Starting point is 02:33:18 and a lot of my friends don't, you know? And I'm even in LA five months out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have some friends. Oh, wait, we have one. We had a guest, Robin... Robin Tran. Robin Tran.

Starting point is 02:33:28 I believe so. Yeah, and that is... Little on the nose. I mean, yeah. But Robin Tran is a comedian, and I don't know... She didn't have the surgery at that time. Okay.

Starting point is 02:33:39 Okay. And then Joe Dosh was a male comedian, and he has... I don't know, Robin, personally. Yeah, J-O-E-D-O-S-C-H. Fifi now is his name, and he got a transition. Okay.

Starting point is 02:34:03 I believe... I don't want to talk out of pocket. He's... Joe's one of the most... is one of the smartest and just really... It was really a captivating... Yeah. I don't know him as much as a woman,

Starting point is 02:34:14 and I don't think it's... I don't know if there's a difference between knowing someone when they are a man or a woman. Wouldn't that be crazy? Because I had a buddy that used to clean the pool over at my friend's house, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they would come every year, right?

Starting point is 02:34:26 And there was a big guy, right? And he was awesome, right? And then one year he came, dude, and he'd lost a lot of weight, and I was out there just catching some D, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Vitamin. Vitamin.

Starting point is 02:34:34 And you're just like... You're out there all getting spit-roasted. Oh, why can't there be even just one dude in the hypothesis? I'm catching some D. You go to extremes, bro. I just feel like if you're catching some D, you're getting more than what... You know what I mean?

Starting point is 02:34:54 It's like... If you're getting a D, it's different. Catching some. I guess I thought about like the way... Vitamin D is like you're being bombarded with sunlight. I guess I was thinking bombarded with dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know?

Starting point is 02:35:06 That's why I went right to spit-roasted. You're right, you're right, man. It's just even hypothetically, I don't want to be doing that much gay stuff. But what happened then? Oh, and we need lost so much weight? I didn't... First of all, I didn't really know it was him.

Starting point is 02:35:24 I'm like, who's this guy who's just talking to me? Right, he's this piece of ass. Yeah. Do you have three friends? Who's this guy that's just talking to me so much? And then I was like, oh my god, he seemed like a different guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's what I wondered too, if you met...

Starting point is 02:35:43 If it was like a buff... If you met... Talked to someone before and after. How much change is different? Like, because dude, that's a journey to go on. Well, that's the thing I remember. First time I went to Florida when I was a kid and I was like, this is going to be crazy.

Starting point is 02:35:57 Yeah, yeah. But imagine every cell in your body being like... Yeah, you know what I'm saying? We're going to San Fran. Yeah, yeah, we're going to San Francisco, brother. Or we're going to like, yeah, Brooklyn, you know. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I think there's probably some...

Starting point is 02:36:13 You probably just feel more... I would just guess you'd feel more comfortable. You'd probably feel like more yourself. You know, I can't speak to being trans, whatever, but you know, I'm sure you're just like, maybe even more pleasant to be around. Because it's like, imagine like hiding something and then be... And also it's like a hard thing. Like a lot of people don't understand it.

Starting point is 02:36:33 A lot of people can be like, probably in your family. Like coming out as gay is hard enough. Imagine being like, no, to somebody who would have a problem with being gay. It's like coming out as five times gay. You know what I mean? Like going, yeah. I'm a girl. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:36:49 I'm so gay. I'm a girl. Like that's what a... That's what like a, you know, like a... Like I'm chasing my own tail. Yeah. Like you're like, you're like the ultimate warrior of gays. Like bring up when the ultimate warrior came in the ring.

Starting point is 02:37:03 There was nothing like that, brother. I didn't know, dude. It was electric. Yeah. Yeah. When that happened, that changed the scene. I bet there's a lot of gay people out there who are like, man, they're stealing our...

Starting point is 02:37:14 For sure. Dude, wrestling is gay as hell, dude. That is huge right now. Gay dude's been like, what are we going to do, guys? Yeah. Absolutely. Being a white gay guy at this point is like, you're not even gay. Maybe you better up the ante.

Starting point is 02:37:29 And maybe that's what some of these guys are doing, I think, man. Well, I would go costume. I mean, yeah, dude, wrestling is so gay. It's like they're so ripped gay. They got a lot of energy, cocaine, hanging out in their underwear, gay. It's a lot of gay shit. I don't know. Some of it looks straight too,

Starting point is 02:37:47 but it's like, yeah. I don't know. That looks pretty gay to me. It's truck stop straight. Manhandling a couple little twinks? God. The ultimate warrior. Well, here's the interesting part about things.

Starting point is 02:37:59 Now, Ultimate Warrior is kind of becoming like a gay icon. I see it, dude. I can totally see it. All the fucking... All the, like, makeup... All the, like, little masks. He's so ripped. He's colorful.

Starting point is 02:38:10 And I wonder what does nature have playing? Because nature's done some wild stuff. Dude, we used to be cavemen, right? Sure. We used to be monkeys, right? Mm-hmm. So it's like, what is nature? A lot of rape in nature.

Starting point is 02:38:21 It's fucked up. We're much more civilized now. Yeah. You know? But I feel like we're just a fucking screen... Just where does this... Right behind a screen door run civilized. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 02:38:34 Yeah, power goes out for, like, two weeks in a row. Shit's gonna go bad. Dude, in 40 minutes, power goes out. I'd be holding my sister's hand. Well, again, that might be cold. It might be, have to, again, cultural have to do with, you know, saying cooter. You know, it was to make sure she's okay,

Starting point is 02:38:50 but then it got to her. But it's like, how, you know what I'm saying? But you're bonded now. Well, you're just like, dude, that's another thing. Or there are a lot of power outage gays out there. Yeah, absolutely. Doesn't even take long. The lights flicker, and you're like...

Starting point is 02:39:07 The hell, man. Some guy just backed up against the light. The lights are on. They backed up against the light switch. It wasn't even an outage. Yeah, yeah. It was, the garage door opener just tripped it. Dude, calling down was out of cloud in the sky.

Starting point is 02:39:23 What's another news thing? Were there a lot of, like, secret gay guys where you were growing up? Well, when I was growing up, they had, you know, I was talking about this before, but they had a rest area back behind our, they had a river back behind us, and they had a rest area back there.

Starting point is 02:39:36 And a lot of gay men... Would float in on the whole Lacey River? It was drug, people were back there drugging. Nice. But you do enough drugs. Absolutely. You do gay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 02:39:48 And so that's when they, and they had a lot of guys are, they had, and they had these, these dudes with like one of those potato launchers, like those, and they would, every time, yeah. If they had two men that got a little too... She had a couple spuds at them. They just fired Todd at them. And it wasn't like trying to hit them,

Starting point is 02:40:08 but it was like, hey, you know. The way you hit a dog with a rolled up newspaper. I wouldn't even say that. I wouldn't even say that. No, no. Just a little warning, a shot across the bow. Yeah, yeah. Just a shot, just something to let you know.

Starting point is 02:40:21 Just say fellas, we know you're here. We see what's going on. Yeah, we respect it. Yeah. But also, we know you're just drugged out right now. Right, right, right. And we want you... You don't want to come to, come drunk.

Starting point is 02:40:31 Yeah. Thinking about what you, you know, how you're going to explain this to your fiance. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you don't want to come to him and be like, damn, I didn't know they had a Cinnabon in town. They started making savory Cinnabons? All right, what would you have there, Bubba?

Starting point is 02:40:53 Trying to remember what was happening in the news. I'm trying to remember if we had any secret gay guys in Greek town. Oh, well, that happened. And then they had a guy who was mentally... He had a baby. He had a... He drove a bicycle, right? Okay.

Starting point is 02:41:10 He was mentally handicapped. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Full downs. What are we talking? Little touch. Ups. We had a couple guys.

Starting point is 02:41:18 Yeah, ups. We had to get ups. So he... It was like kind of like... You know, he was kind of like... He was like hide-and-go-special kind of... You didn't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 02:41:36 You didn't know. I know what you're saying. You didn't infiltrate. You had to get near the fence to know it. You had to do the run-and-stimpy close-up to really see it. Far away. Far away.

Starting point is 02:41:47 You're so funny. Bro, so... And then this is what happened. So he and he... And he would ride around town, right? His parents got him a bike or something when he was like 30. Okay.

Starting point is 02:41:57 For good behavior. I'm not sure. I don't know what he was like at home. But his parents... So he would always be in town, right? He would be cruising the streets. Love that. Everybody was like, he's gay, you know?

Starting point is 02:42:10 And the story was he had like... They put a baby seat on his bike, right? Okay. And so there was like an old wives' tale or whatever that he had a husband, like a little husband that had left him. Oh, that sucks. So there was like...

Starting point is 02:42:29 There was kind of two sides of the form. There were some people who were like, you know, get these queers out of here, you know? And then there was other people that were just like, you know, kind of heartbroken for him. Of course. Because here he was and he had somebody that he'd lost, you know, or that had left.

Starting point is 02:42:43 And some people were always like... So the baby seat was for the little husband. Yeah. It was not for the baby. Okay. So we're talking... He's a baby-sized husband. Well, that's what people say.

Starting point is 02:42:52 He's a small husband. Like a Filipino guy or what are we thinking? I don't know. Did you guys... What kind of... How many Asians did you have grown up? Doesn't feel like... We didn't have any.

Starting point is 02:43:02 There was a rumored Asian, actually. They had... Remember when Pizza Hut had those unique rooftops? Bring it up, buddy. Sure, the... Yeah. Remember when Pizza Hut had those unique rooftops? Yeah, absolutely.

Starting point is 02:43:14 You still see it. You go to a town and it's like a bank and that's... It's like, wait, that's a fucking Pizza Hut. Or like a mattress discounters. It's like, I didn't know that roof, motherfucker. Yeah, it's beautiful. There used to be fucking deep dish in here. Oh, there you go, right there.

Starting point is 02:43:26 God, it was beautiful. It really was. Well, one of those... It's a travesty that they're not... They don't do the sit-down Pizza Huts anymore. It was. They're all takeaways. They're all sucks.

Starting point is 02:43:36 That is one of the saddest things ever. It's fucking sucks. As a track... When you grow up poor, sitting down in a Pizza Hut... That was Thanksgiving. Truly, dude. Those little cups, the red cups. The stained glass.

Starting point is 02:43:49 And some of the pizza pans, they even had like a... Cork or something on it, I think. Underneath. Yeah, absolutely. It fell for us the first time. They would bring out the cast iron. And you're like, oh, my God. Who are we?

Starting point is 02:44:04 Yeah, this is... I've never seen... Yeah, this is Titanic. Truly, dude. It was like that and our big place was... Applebee's when it first came out. Oh, yeah. Like, they first got to East Point Mall in Baltimore

Starting point is 02:44:18 in Dundalk, Maryland. My family would go there. And then Chili's as well. But in those days, it was Pizza Hut or Applebee's. And that was like... God, yeah. That was when we were fucking off. That's fancy.

Starting point is 02:44:31 God, that'll make you just want to fuck with me. That'll make you want to do a line of code. Yeah, absolutely. Um, but one of those had burned down. Yeah. And so that rooftop, that unique roof, was fresh on the ground. No. And so people...

Starting point is 02:44:47 I guess a rumor got started that an Asian family moved in town or whatever. Because it looks like a dojo. Because the shape is dojo-like. It had an Asian shape. Yeah. You know? Like a... Like a bimbap or something.

Starting point is 02:45:04 Or whatever. Yeah. Bippymap or something. Are you trying to say bimbap? Yeah, is that it? That's like the Korean stone bowl. Yeah, yeah. It had like a...

Starting point is 02:45:14 It had an Asian shape. You know? And so people were like, yeah, they had an Asian guy over in Slotell, Louisiana. So I remember we saved up money. We fucking saved up money to get a taxi to go over there. To try and catch him. Or just to see him.

Starting point is 02:45:31 Yeah. Yeah. And remember we got there and we're like, fuck. Do you legitimately think you could have made money showing like... If you had like a guy from Thailand in like a little enclosure, could you charge people from Slidel to look at him? Not now. But back then?

Starting point is 02:45:48 Not much, but yeah. But maybe like a quarter, just to take a peek? Oh, I think for 50 cents. People would stop by. But now a lot of people don't know, Louisiana has some of the most Vietnamese people in the whole world. Really? Because of the fishing.

Starting point is 02:46:02 Yeah. We had the first Vietnamese house of representative. Hell yeah. House of representative. Yeah, representative. But yeah, back then they didn't have it as much. When Houston, there's so many Vietnamese people, because I don't know why,

Starting point is 02:46:16 but they got good ass Viet food due to their salt. Yeah, Houston has a crazy Vietnamese population. Wow. I was just there and I was like, damn, I would love to get like a chubby Vietnamese wife. You know what I mean? Yeah. That would be awesome.

Starting point is 02:46:30 Grew up around black people. Just a lot of culture shock. The Viet and blacks get along, do you think? I think in Houston, just because that's who's there, you know? And I think there's definitely... Like a boy can dream anyway. Yeah. I would love like a half, like a mixed Vietnamese black wife.

Starting point is 02:46:49 Yeah. Big titties knows how to cook pho. It would be awesome. Yeah. I really would like a little sum, because everyone in my family... In a barba pho. Boba pho?

Starting point is 02:47:00 If somebody made fucking barba pho. Barba... Ooh, ribs and some fucking pho. Dude, barba pho? Did we just invent barba pho? We really did, dude. We really did. Kentucky pho chicken.

Starting point is 02:47:10 Kentucky pho chicken. There's no end to it, brother. That's my dream. Yeah. I want, because my brother's both married white women and know nothing wrong with that, but I just feel like I got to get a little sum going in the bloodline. But are you a white denier, do you think?

Starting point is 02:47:26 I think I am in some ways. Not denier, but like I just think like it would be fun to get a little sum different in the family photos. Yeah. You know, just a little, mix it up a little bit. I just think that would be kind of nice. But that, and like my dream would be like a Greek girl. Like, you know, Yanis at the Tecumbo,

Starting point is 02:47:44 he's Greek, he grew up in Athens, but he's ethnically a Nigerian. Like a Greek, and that like a... He's an ethnic American, right? Yeah, yeah. Is that right? I think that's right. Ethnic.

Starting point is 02:47:57 Athenian American, maybe. Athenian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My dream would be like somebody who speaks Greek, but like just doesn't look, you know what I mean? Just to get a little, just to get the like... Like Memphis Greek. Get some fun in the bloodline.

Starting point is 02:48:12 Yeah. Mix it up. Well, you know. Well, that I think, look, I've long said that we're all gonna... It's in three, four or five generations, it's gonna be a lot of like Ben Semonzee. Sure.

Starting point is 02:48:23 Very... Well, even you, you're sneaky. Because you just said you're dead. Right, my father's from Bluefield to Nicaragua, right? Yeah. And so... Bluefields? Yeah.

Starting point is 02:48:31 That's hilarious. Take a Coastal area, bring it up. I've never been. Really? You've never been to Nicaragua at all? Duh, you gotta go though. I know. That'd be interesting.

Starting point is 02:48:39 But see, even what I'm saying is like, you got a little, you just got a little something in the mix. And so many people do. Yeah, absolutely. That's the thing, like, even when you look back on like, like, you talk about like slavery, it's almost like I wish they just had some of the invoices.

Starting point is 02:48:57 Yeah, yeah. So we could be like, look. Or if somebody's last name was Froot of the Loom, then they're, you know, Larry Froot of the Loom, you're, you know... Yeah, you get some of that. Donnie Haynes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 02:49:12 I didn't even know, Bluefield seems like a fake name. Nicaragua. Yeah. Dude, you gotta go. This is gonna be sick. Just, I mean, I don't know if you gotta go to Bluefield. I don't know if it's cool or not.

Starting point is 02:49:21 But you should at least go to Nicaragua. I've met some people on airplanes and stuff, and they've told me about it. Fuck yeah, dude. So, but yeah, my father would speak Spanish a lot, and he would go too. He worked as like a... I don't know.

Starting point is 02:49:35 He didn't work that much, I think. The opposite of the stereotype, you know? I think there was a time when he did. I mean, he was 71. I met him, my dad was very old. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is. So, yeah. That's another wrinkle.

Starting point is 02:49:47 There's a, yeah. I can't say that in any more podcasts. I've said so many times about that in 70. But it is still, I mean, I know what you mean, but it's still so interesting. Yeah. Like, I don't know how in-depth you've gotten with it, but that is like a...

Starting point is 02:49:59 That's something to explore so much, having such an old-ass dad. Well, it made me so aware. I was just like, is dad okay? Yeah, dude. Like, what's going on? Like, it was never like, am I okay? You know, like...

Starting point is 02:50:11 Of course. You really felt mortality at a time when most kids don't even consider it. Oh, I'm scared of everything. Yeah. I'm scared of everything. Because like, even when grandparents die, that's usually a kid's first entrain to,

Starting point is 02:50:23 oh, wait, this shit might not last forever, but it's like an old-ass grandparent. When is your fucking dad? We're like, wait, the guy who's supposed to protect me is old as shit. And my mom would, was very, she'd be like, you should get to school. You should, well, you should get to school.

Starting point is 02:50:37 Your dad's gonna die. She would just drop it into whatever. Like, oh. Yeah, you want your dad's last memory of you being cut in class? Get some good grades. Dude, I developed this. He's on dad's door.

Starting point is 02:50:50 Yeah. I developed this concept in my head that if I did everything perfect, that my dad would stay alive. That's fucking wild, dude. That crazy? That's like, that's like light OCD, it sounds like. I didn't even realize that till like last year,

Starting point is 02:51:06 I did that ayahuasca stuff and it made me think. And that came to me, I was like, man. When I thought that, I hadn't thought it for like my whole life, except me when I was young. I just burst down crying. Yeah, dude. Reminds you of that shit. It's so fucked up, a little kid having that, carrying that.

Starting point is 02:51:22 You should be thinking about fucking baseball cards and Trish Stratus is dressed. I do everything okay, my dad will say. Just, yeah, I think it's just, part of it is like, you're just heartbroken for the kid as in a child. I'm not trying to get in a self pity, but interesting. No, that's not self pity at all, dude. No, that's wild.

Starting point is 02:51:38 You deserve to be like, damn, that was fucked up. It's interesting, man, what's going on in the world. I think the scare, I just get so scared, I get so activated about how our media uses, I just trickily use this stuff against us because they don't seem to have a real care about the general well-being of people. Oh yeah, I mean, especially once we go to like 24 hour news

Starting point is 02:52:00 and you're selling advertising. It's like, when the news was like a couple times a day and we're telling you just what happened and we're not worried about selling ads, then yeah, you could probably trust it. But now it's like, everyone does have an agenda and you do kind of have to cut through what the fuck's being said.

Starting point is 02:52:17 And corporate media is just so, it's just like, they're invested in keeping everything the same and not really helping anyone and not telling you what's fucked up. Yeah, they want to keep in the same pattern too. It's just like, you've been, your race keeps you down or where your Christianity keeps you, or it's just something, it's always something.

Starting point is 02:52:36 And if you look at the patterns, it's like, damn, that's the same pattern. Yeah, I think they're invested in the status quo and the like, you know, just, yeah. I think shit that doesn't really affect you and they're not, they don't want to talk about, I don't know, our day-to-day, our day-to-day, the shit, they just fucked up shit that's like, damn,

Starting point is 02:52:58 our government did this, they fucked up this many countries, like, you know, like all the CIA shit, all the like, you know, just, again, like inequality shit, like culture war stuff is easier because it's so divisive, people feel it so deeply, but ultimately it doesn't matter, you know what I mean? It's like, going back to the same shit, it's like, yeah, your dad's from Nicaragua,

Starting point is 02:53:24 it's like, even like, we're all the same people, we're all the same people, everyone's exactly the same, or not everyone's exactly the same, but we all have something in us that we can relate to everyone, and we are different in ways that are cool, like that's, even going back to what I was saying about it, it'd be cool to have somebody from a different culture

Starting point is 02:53:40 in my family, I feel like I have to bring that into my family just because it's like, I don't know, I feel like I have a better time when I'm with different people different from me. Oh yeah, do you ever get the nuggets and they actually put a fry in that big? Yeah, dude, give me a couple of fucking fries, give me a spicy nug.

Starting point is 02:53:55 But even with comedy, to bring the conversation kind of back to comedy, it's like, I like when crowds are different from, I like seeing people that I have nothing, that you wouldn't think it's just some bro, like older couples have started coming to my shows, or different races, whatever, it's like, and even comedy shows, it's like,

Starting point is 02:54:12 I like doing shows with comics that are not like me, I like bringing people who have different experiences, even on my podcasts, it's like, let me get some gay dude, let me get some gay dudes, let me get some like, We need some gays in here, huh? Get some gays in here, dude. Damn. We got some good gays, get Mateo in here, he's the man.

Starting point is 02:54:30 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think, it's cool, but it is cool to be around people that are different than you, and just kind of like, soak all that shit up, and you know, have a good ass time, eat some different foods, suck some different colored nipples. They should have gay foods. Yeah, what would be a gay food?

Starting point is 02:54:51 I think a clear, I don't think that easy on the old butthole, one thing like a clear. Yeah, anything easy on the moment. Yeah, that can be part of the barb-a-foe, is like, just a clear broth for our gay friends. Yeah, gum. Yeah, dude, I just wonder, it's so interesting to think like, what is history gonna be like?

Starting point is 02:55:14 But it's interesting with ethnicity, because we truly only win as a people, right? If we all win, right? That's the only way that like, humanity, if you hope that a thousand years or whatever it is, that everybody, that's why sometimes I think it's almost like, different ethnicities and cultures have like, different parts of like, the part,

Starting point is 02:55:36 whatever's gonna bring everybody to peace. Yeah, we gotta be Voltron. Yeah. We gotta, yeah, come to, I mean, I do think you're right in terms of like, it's gotta be like a collective thing. Yeah. Like people realize like, I think most people,

Starting point is 02:55:46 I think America is held down a little bit by like, the richest in our country where it's like, the shit is hard, you know, the inequality is crazy. They have a lot of resources, like, you know, these motherfuckers have islands. I know. And it's like, people don't have fucking water. And it's like, or you know, people can't like,

Starting point is 02:56:03 don't have a living wage or like, you look at how Walmart treats their fucking workers, they're busting their asses and it's like, they're on fucking food stamps. It's like, you got, yeah. It's like, come on. Like that, like, and so I do think there's like, a collective thing where it's like,

Starting point is 02:56:14 if everybody realizes that there's a few people fucking our shit up, you could, you know, there is like, there is like, you know, that's what I think, like labor unions are good where it's like, you could just be like, hey, we do all the fucking work. Like you should just, you know, have to like, there's this weird thing where it's like, even like child labor is back in certain places.

Starting point is 02:56:32 Like that's how much they don't want to pay people a living wage. And they're like, they're rolling back, like child protection laws. It's kind of fucking wild, dude. Wow. But I didn't know that. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:56:42 There's a couple, there's a couple of states that they just started doing that shit. And it was fucking, it was fucking crazy. But I do think that it's, it's fat. Yeah, it's like, how can people survive on these, on wages, you know? Yeah. No, it's fucked up.

Starting point is 02:56:54 It's also like, some jobs are like stair step jobs, like to advance and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But for some people, maybe they're not these days. It's just, it's child labor laws are under attack in states across the country, amid increasing child labor violations, lawmakers must act to strengthen standards.

Starting point is 02:57:09 Yeah, they're like, and they're just, even the laws that we have on file, they're just kind of like ignoring them and shit. It's kind of crazy. I think we're in a, we're in like, I think- It feels lawless right now. Shit is kind of crumbling. And it's like, we even are like basic shit.

Starting point is 02:57:24 It's like the infrastructure in this country sucks dick. The roads are bad. Amtrak? Yeah, it's like, yeah. I mean, don't get me started on that shit. But I'd rather FedEx myself somewhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, put me in a, put some holes in a box.

Starting point is 02:57:38 Easy. Yeah. Which sucks too, because in this country, there used to be so much rail, but that was, I mean- Amtrak was fun as fuck. That's the other thing is like, when you go back in time, and you look at history, it's like, car companies destroyed rail in this country.

Starting point is 02:57:51 But then they let them lobby against it, so that they could, so that it wouldn't even be competitive. You know? I just wonder also, are we sitting on the down, or do we get to a point where greed and that sort of thing has happened so much that it's like, this is where you end up. Absolutely. I think that's the logical end of like,

Starting point is 02:58:09 always putting profits over everything. It's like, I'm not saying you shouldn't make a, you know- I agree. Make a living, you shouldn't make a profit, but it's like, there is something fucked up when it's like, that's the only goal. I think you make a good living, you have a product that makes a good amount of money,

Starting point is 02:58:23 you should also pay your fucking work. Like, I have a problem with Amazon, but if Amazon just took some of their profits and paid their fucking workers better, and made sure they all got like, health insurance and shit, and be like, that's the best company. Well, now their profits would be a little worse, but it's like, I think you could,

Starting point is 02:58:40 that should be a twin goal of like, make profits and provide for the people that like, work for you and shit, but- Yeah, it's interesting, it's like, there's a lot, it's like, cause you ask somebody who's a business partner, and they'll say, like, Mike Rowe was on here, and he said, well, people just don't want to do jobs, they don't want to work anymore.

Starting point is 02:58:57 It's so, and there can be an article that's created to kind of make you think anything. Of course. That's the scariest part, it's like- Yeah. And to not know, like, we don't, you know, we know our instincts, right? Yeah.

Starting point is 02:59:09 Yeah. But yeah, I think it's unbelievable. Unbelievable that there are, they should put a cap on wealth, I believe. I am with you, actually, fully. Like, when you look at like, the, like how we got out of the Great Depression and shit, and all that kind of stuff, it's like, after a certain point,

Starting point is 02:59:26 it's like, you look, it could be a crazy amount, $20 million a year, whatever. It's like, after a certain point, it's like, okay, tax that rate high, and then fucking provide basics for people. Yeah. You know, and it's like, and it doesn't have to be like poverty, like, it doesn't have to be like, no one's allowed to make any money, but it's like, it's, I do think it's in,

Starting point is 02:59:44 it's like a moral issue in America that we have so much homelessness, and so much of it is like, fucking people that were in the army, you know, it's like, it's shit, and like, how much teachers make? It's like, why the fuck is a, is a teacher getting paid $34,000 a year, but like, a consultant, you know what I mean? Like some fucking fake job, where they tell you to like, oh, slash prices to make more profits. Why do they make $200,000 a year, whatever.

Starting point is 03:00:09 It's like, that's the shit where I'm just feel like, I don't feel like a very political person, but it's like, when I start talking, it sounds like, it sounds like I'm a fucking communist, but I'm just like, no man, just like, we should provide for the weakest in a society when we have so much money, and that's, that's like my belief, is that like, yeah, we should just provide for, for like people,

Starting point is 03:00:30 and I think you see it with like, you know. You still want people to work, you still want that, right? Yeah, of course. But then like, it's, you know, I don't know, it's, there's a lot of, there's a lot of like, nuance to all of it, but I don't think that, but then also you have people that'll go and have 20 kids, and they don't have any social responsibility to the fact that

Starting point is 03:00:53 when you do that and have no plan, or anything, that the drain you're putting on society is unbelievable. Sure. You know, just with your own real cooter. Of course, once you got the cooter of like, a humming, once you got that hot cooter humming. So I used to think they should take your nuts away when you're born, give them back when you graduate high school.

Starting point is 03:01:14 That would be a great idea. That would be awesome. I would love to be able to put my nuts on ice for a little bit. Oh yeah. And make Disney put it to music. It's doing triple axels. And Axl Rose is doing the music. Fuck yeah, dude.

Starting point is 03:01:33 Get him in there with his little bandana. He's looking puffy these days. Stavros, thanks so much, man. I think we've gone through a lot to you. Absolutely. This is a great episode, dude. I mean, we even got serious about stuff. So it's like.

Starting point is 03:01:44 We did. Yeah, we're not serious guys, really. Oh, I know. But it is fun to think about this shit. Yeah, it's okay to get serious sometimes. I think so. Yeah. I think there's just a lot going on, too.

Starting point is 03:01:54 Yeah, it's a strange time. And then how much of it is just a trap, where there's just like, hey, look at this, while something else is going on, you know? Yeah. We're fighting over here. People are arguing about a young trans beer can. Yeah, well, that's exactly.

Starting point is 03:02:14 And meanwhile, there's like half, you know, they're shipping away a ton of our money, or they're doing this or, you know. Fully, dude. That's weird. I think it's all. I think all that culture war stuff, all the, especially gay and trans issues,

Starting point is 03:02:28 it's textbook, let's get you to not pay attention to the economic issues that are actually ruining your life and making you this angry. So, I don't know. I mean, I think that's a big, like, I was a big Bernie guy when it came to the election last time, and I thought like, it may, I think him versus Trump actually would have made a lot of sense,

Starting point is 03:02:46 because it's like, there's anger. Like, that's, there was a populism behind Trump that the Democrats would have been smart to like, do the, to pick their populist candidate, and the ones saying like, no, big business is fucking us. Like, we have to fucking like, we have to fight back against this, or they'll take advantage of us.

Starting point is 03:03:03 And I do think that, I mean, it just comes down to that, man. When people are like, angry, it's easy to keep them distracted with shit that, ultimately, the guy wants to wear a dress, let the fucking guy wear a dress, but like, give me healthcare. Make it so that if my grandma gets like, if my mom gets a treatable skin cancer,

Starting point is 03:03:21 she gets to live and not go bankrupt. And that, and that's like, when people are so mad about the fact, you know, they're so riled up about all the negative shit in their lives, that it's easy to channel that into anger against, you know, groups that are kind of fucking marginalized and whose lives are hard enough already. But everybody's life is kind of fucked in America right now.

Starting point is 03:03:40 Everybody, but that's another thing too. It's like this constant like, yeah. Quality of life is going down so bad. The healthcare can't just be, you know, they can't focus only on the fact like, I don't know. It's just interesting. It's like, because kids can go to a therapist now and say something and the therapist can put them on a drug.

Starting point is 03:03:57 Do the parents have the ability to stop them? But that's crazy. If your kid's like 12 and he's like, I feel like a man. And it's a woman. I don't know. As a parent, you may have a closer connection to it. Yeah. And look, none of these issues are like cut and dry.

Starting point is 03:04:11 That's the other thing is like, these are case by case. And again, not that many fucking statistically, not that money. And that's the thing, even us talking about it this much. Fuck. Yeah, we fucked up. But hey, what are you going to do? The important thing is people watch the crowd work special. Yeah.

Starting point is 03:04:26 You know, that's important. Yeah, no matter how you're, no matter what's going on in your genetics or diaper, come any kind of genitals, come to this fat rascal tour. We won't check to see what you got, you know. Unless you want me to. I might take a peek. Wouldn't that be crazy to start checking people?

Starting point is 03:04:44 Yeah, what you got in there? Yeah, empty out your purse, sir. It's like nuts, man. Yeah, so yeah, dude. All right, cool, man. We'll go check it out. I think this might be the longest episode I've ever done. Hell yeah, dude.

Starting point is 03:04:58 I got nothing. I'm down. This is awesome. This is funny shit. It's hot in here though. It is hot. It's been, I had a hot flight here. I was napping like one of those like,

Starting point is 03:05:08 you know, when you're like not so hot, your body's just like having like a fever nap almost. I was like, I was like, do I have a fever? Am I about to like give the fucking Theo COVID? But I was just hot in the airplane, it turns out. Don't worry. But yeah, but I'm feeling, I can't wait to crack that door and just feel the breeze.

Starting point is 03:05:26 That's our reward for this podcast, to just feel that breeze. That's it. We're like two of those kids that have to mine for the iPhones or whatever. And their lunch break is just cool air. Who wants lunch? Don't fill up.

Starting point is 03:05:43 Don't get your lungs too comfortable. You got another 12 hours in the mines. God, dude. And it's so sick we're even laughing about that. I know, it sucks. But we are not really laughing about it. God bless you guys, bro. Thank you, Stavros, for being here, man.

Starting point is 03:06:00 Thank you, bro. Yeah, I'm so excited to see the new special. It comes out tomorrow. Tomorrow, yep. So crowd work special just for fun. The real big dick special is coming in the fall. I'm recording it in May at the Paramount in Austin. I can't wait for it.

Starting point is 03:06:13 Yeah. That'll be really fun. And it'll come out sometime in the fall. But just a little something to tie the people over, you know. You going to go to Rogan's new club? I went, dude, I was actually I was checking out the Paramount. I was scouting it on opening night. And so I didn't I wasn't on the shows,

Starting point is 03:06:28 but I went to check it out. Dude, it's fucking awesome. Really? Dude, it's so like you walked in there and it was like, whoa, there was like a energy there. I can't wait to go back and do spots there for sure. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm going to pick up some extra spots there

Starting point is 03:06:40 when I'm down in Austin. Oh, yeah, dude. Congrats on the... oh, fuck. Congrats on the specials, man. Thank you, brother. All right, stop. Thank you. Now I'm just floating on the breeze

Starting point is 03:06:51 and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind. I found I can feel it in my bones, But it's gonna take

This Past Weekend - E439 Stavros Halkias

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.