This Past Weekend - E448 Roseanne

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Starting point is 00:00:37 Check out our classic merch with the racing, hunting, and fishing collections. We also have new tie-dye teas. We've got a lot of new items that are out. You can check them all out. TheoVonStore.com. Today we are here at the Mother Ship, the comedy Mother Ship in Austin, Texas. And I'm sitting here, or about to be sitting here with one of the most iconic comedians. She is a voice. She is a, damn, she is a forest fire

Starting point is 00:01:12 with ovaries on her. She's one of a kind. Her ability to entertain over the years is unmatched. I'm grateful to get to spend time with her today here at Joe Rogan's comedy And tell you about stories Shine on me And I will find a strong I will stay there

Starting point is 00:02:00 The shape of Cooley Okay, I'll keep them on These are the ones dice worse too. Really? We both found that out one week. Sorry, each other last couple weeks here. But he keeps his for when he goes on stage. He don't even wear them around in real life like I do. Yeah, I like him. His is for when he steps on stage. The Tom Fords. Are they really? Yeah. It's like I I gotta wear the Tom Fords on stage. I go, I just wear them around

Starting point is 00:02:28 because they're so fucking cool. Dude, they look hip, huh? I think they cool. Yeah, they make you feel like almost like a, um, ASAP Rocky. Yeah. But I've had these for five years so they're out of time, but they're timeless, you know?

Starting point is 00:02:43 I think they seem kind of timeless. They look kind of time, but they're timeless, you know, I think they seem kind of timeless. They look kind of like Like wacky o'nassas kind of Don't you forget your smokes Yeah, this a little video on style, but still the O'nassas level of class, you know still the but still a level of class you know. Wacky O. NASA's is genius.

Starting point is 00:03:09 I think it was easy but thanks. That's sweet of it. It's so me. It is kind of. Because I could also see you riding a car with some guy who gets his head blown off. You know what I'm saying? And there's no way he would have the last thought was she had something to do with that. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, nice though. You have a, where you, what kind of, where you pulling this fit from, where you pulling the style from?

Starting point is 00:03:48 Well. You have a, like, inspiration? I do. This is a friend of mine that makes these clothes. And I'm a big fan of hers. She's a, from Fredericksburg, Texas. She just opened up in Malibu too, called Magnolia Pearl.

Starting point is 00:04:03 Everybody cool knows about her. And she does like real good fabric from, you know, all over the world linens, stuff from France. Good French linens and shit like that if you care. Yeah. And she embroider stuff and puts wacky stuff together. And I just love my outfits. I met that age, I call it my turban years.

Starting point is 00:04:26 You know, where it's like about, you know, you want to dress up to have your friends over for a luncheon. You know, that kind of stuff you don't have time for when you was young and trying to hustle for the bucks, you know. You're kind of developing your old lady style. And, you know, and you change your clothes, but I do five, six times a day and costume changes and it's just fun. It's like being 12 again. When I swell up my room and I do and Janice

Starting point is 00:04:54 Joplin singing over them records, you know, and I had a dress of like her or what have you. It's all pretend and fun. Yeah. Yeah, I guess there is a nice thing about whenever you get to a good age, as we get a little bit older, we get to, you kind of like, the pressures of society and stuff, it all kind of goes away a little bit. It's like you realize there's, maybe there wasn't a ton of value in it, or just the years of being like that race horse,

Starting point is 00:05:21 you kind of like, now you get to kind of hang out in the pasture a little more, kind of eat some grass and joy yourself or like what do you mean? Well, I think you get to be a little bit more introspective and creative than you're thinking, you know? Get a try on an idea, you don't have to buy it. You can just fuck with it and go with it, you know?

Starting point is 00:05:43 Yeah. You know, comics are like that anyways, but you just got a little more time to be valuable with like weighing thoughts and, you know, trying to come up with something funny. You're just being more creative, more faith in your own creativity to the older you get. And you're not so harassed and run and run and rag

Starting point is 00:06:04 and trying to get there. You're just enjoying doing it. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I do actually. It's like recently I've been feeling sometimes like I'm so busy, I don't have as much. My brain doesn't have as much space to be as creative

Starting point is 00:06:17 as I would like to sometimes. Yeah, how old are you now? And it almost kind of bums me out on 43. Uh huh. So it just feels sometimes. It doesn't bum me out, but it's like, I really have to make a strong effort to find more space, you know,

Starting point is 00:06:30 to not be just affected or influenced by things, just so I can like, you know, just so I can daydream kind of. Yeah, so you can go in there and have fun. Yeah. I'm playing around, right? Yeah. It's kind of like being 12, ain't it?

Starting point is 00:06:43 Or even younger. Oh, I think. Sorry. right? Yeah. It's kind of like being 12, ain't it? Or even younger. Oh, I think. Sorry. Now you're good. Thank you. I'm gonna miss it on my guy. Yeah. You look awesome, by the way.

Starting point is 00:06:51 Thank you very much. Yeah, you look very pretty. Thank you. You're very nice. Um, yeah, I think it's interesting as you get older, like what kind of things you start to think about what are important, especially after you get out a little bit of the rat race, you know?

Starting point is 00:07:03 Yeah. Yeah, because you find out the rat race is a real thing and the rats with the sharpest teeth win. So who wants to be part of that one you don't have to? Yeah. I mean, for a long time, you have to, if you're going to go, after you went, you're kind of like, hey, I'm gonna take a break on that shit. I'm gonna kind of try and get rid of a few of them rats. You don't have some time where I can walk around barefoot and not have my toes chewed on. Yeah, I know, it's fucking evil, huh?

Starting point is 00:07:37 Yeah, it is. But it's what propels you to, it kind of keeps you going. Because you're like, oh, yeah, you're gonna block me here. I'm gonna go around here, like a mental're like, oh yeah, you're going to block me here. I'm going to go around here. You're kind of like a mental football player or a boxer, you know? Which is why I love boxing, why I like watching Tyson, why I like to watch and Michael the mirrors.

Starting point is 00:07:55 But, you know, because it's like instinct and reflex all together and then having this real clear channel of like, I got to get over you and around you and how am I going to do it? Well, I'm prepared because I already did it 1,500 times just trying to stay alive while you was trying to suck my blood. Yeah. And it all comes together. And then wherever you're focusing in, you just keep kind of developing ways to get better at it. It's interesting how much business acumen you have to pick up along the way. kind of developing ways to get better at it.

Starting point is 00:08:27 It's interesting how much business acumen you have to pick up along the way. And especially as comedians, you're already kind of, I think, a lot of comedians are untrusting of the world. And they should be, right? Oh, yeah. Don't we all start out real trusting? Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:08:40 You start out sort of trusting like, oh, humor will bring us together. And I have a gift and I can make people laugh. And look at me, daddy. I have a pure on stage. Da da da da da. You know, all that. You think, I'm gonna finally get all the love

Starting point is 00:08:55 I never got when you was beating my ass and these people like me. There you go. Of course I'll sign it. Yeah. Yeah. You're giving me $2 and I'm making what? 10,000 an hour for you? I'm happy to do it.

Starting point is 00:09:11 You know? And you are. Yeah. You're like, I'm fucking writing jokes at the S. So I just get up in the morning and I've written 15 jokes by the time I get downstairs. Wow. It's so fun.

Starting point is 00:09:24 You're so in the zone of where you want to be, but you don't know nothing about. 15 jokes by the time I get downstairs. Wow. It's so fun. Yeah. You're so in the zone of where you want to be, but you don't know nothing about, you know, like I like hearing rappers talk about business out of stuff. Yeah, when they realized. Yeah. Well, Kanye was like that kind of, you know, I mean, some stuff Kanye said, he was like,

Starting point is 00:09:43 you know, I think he was trying to come from a place where he was angry. I don't know it. The system at Hollywood, you know, I mean some stuff Kanye said he was like, you know, I think he was trying to come from a place where he was Angry, I don't know at the system at Hollywood, you know, I don't know it's like I mean, I think he also was suffering probably from some mental issues, you know like you think yeah You think Mary and Kim Kardashian was any kind of symptom of that and he toured for a while with like a Sunday service. So there's kind of a, like I'm a god type of, you know, that's an interesting thing to do. Well, it's that Messianic force that all of us have, you know, that are trying to say something like

Starting point is 00:10:15 rappers and comics and songwriter singers who were all on that, we're in that Messianic force. We're, you know, we're compelled to say something that makes somebody hear us and makes it better. I mean, we imagine it makes it better, it just makes us feel better. Whatever, we're adding something good to the collective part of gold at the end of the dream rainbow, you know. And so he has that Messianic thing, but then when you actually Get into it plus having bipolar and all the other shit, and I got all that and more. Oh, yeah, so I love Kanye, but

Starting point is 00:11:01 Yeah, you can you can go wrong if your meds fuck up on you. Oh, dude. You get one extra milligrams. Oh fuck. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh Christ God knows I've done that and bad mad mixing. Oh, you think they'd send a big chart home with you. First of all, the information on the pill bottles, it's like a lot could go wrong here and it's a eight font. Yeah, I can't even see it. Even with my amplified glasses, I can't even see it. I have to have somebody read it for me. I'm like, yeah, I got that. I didn't hurt me. Yeah, I did that. I didn't even see it. I have to have somebody read it for me. You know, like, yeah, I got that.

Starting point is 00:11:25 I didn't hurt me. Yeah, I did that. I didn't hurt me that much. It's not like I'm gonna go off the meds and then, good God, look out world. You know what I mean? Whoo! My kids had commit me in a heartbeat.

Starting point is 00:11:39 Have they ever tried to commit you before? Not yet, but all my husbands did. That's where they were all gone. Yeah, they deserved it probably. You know, I do think it- Well, they wanted to get, you know, they wanted to fuck with the bull. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:53 Even though I'm a girl, I'm kind of a bull. I guess you could say it. I can see you're probably the kind of woman it's like, you're a, you know, you bring a lot of you. I do bring a lot of me. And a lot of me is like, like an out of control three year old, you know what I mean? Oh yeah, dude, a lot of my life I felt like that.

Starting point is 00:12:18 Like I'm a child every day. And I have to take care of myself like a child. I have to do all these little things for myself to make sure that I'm okay. Oh, I know what you mean. I have to write a list to remember what to do because my shit is so haphazard and out there crazy. If I don't stick to this everyday list, which includes washer face, brush your teeth, prep up yourself so people can stand to be around you. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 00:12:49 Change your underwear. If I don't do those basic things, and I'm not, it's not my instinct to do them. My instinct is to hop out of bed, start smoking and drinking. Yeah, huh? You know. And throw a fucking javelin at a neighbor kind of. You know, no, I don't wanna hurt nobody. Well, I don't wanna hit him,

Starting point is 00:13:08 but I wanna fucking let him know I'm still living next door. You know, like we used to have this contest, we live in a apartment complex and yeah, I can relate to the same thing. My mother, I remember my mother the night before, I remember being like seven years old, and be like, do you want me to wake you up for school tomorrow? And I'm like how in the fuck else would I even get up right?

Starting point is 00:13:32 Like you asked you. Yeah, she would just put that kind of like immediately the world was just you were you better Figure it out, you know, but sometimes you like you want me to wake you up for school tomorrow like yeah figure it out, you know? But sometimes she'd be like, you want me to wake you up for school tomorrow? And be like, yeah. Otherwise, I'm not, you know what I'm saying? Like, there's no, but it wasn't like, all right guys, I'll get you guys all up,

Starting point is 00:13:50 you'll be ready to go. She would like ask you, you know? So it was weird because you had this, you made this adult decision. Do I want my mom to wake me up for school? But I just felt like it was such a strange thing for her to ask. Like, yeah, because it's like there was no way

Starting point is 00:14:09 for you to say no, I'll just sleep in. Right, that wasn't even an option. Right. So it was just a string, it was like something you'd ask a roommate kind of, but there was always that adult thing from my, like I remember I told her, you know, that somebody said there's like pdf files in the area or whatever and she goes, well, do you feel like you're

Starting point is 00:14:29 want to spend time with them? And so I would have to like, you know, did she actually say that? She'd say that, man. She'd like, do you, you know, she kind of put it on you in a way. Like, do you, what choice do you want to make here? You know, I always felt like that was like, I think growing up, it was like, what choice do you want to make here? You know, but how do you make choices early? So, so then in the end, part of me, I'm coming back to what you're saying is like, I felt so much responsibility all the time at a young age.

Starting point is 00:15:03 I felt like everything is my responsibility. So then sometimes I think as I got older, I'm just tired of doing all these things that should have probably been helped with me at a younger age. Sometimes I feel like some of those things weren't my responsibility or they didn't get built in to me correctly. I understand. Feeding myself, taking care of myself,

Starting point is 00:15:24 making sure my teeth are brushed. I mean, I do all those things now, but it's like, I have to have a real checklist of, okay, this is what you do to make sure you're not a baby today, kind of. I get it. But yeah, she should have just go all way kept in the morning.

Starting point is 00:15:38 Right? Yeah, she added a lot of layers to the shit. Yeah, she put a lot of layers on, man. So, but it was a different time. She probably thought she was empowering you, because they were telling parents to do that to that was a good way to raise your kids is to have them make choices over

Starting point is 00:15:56 in consequential horse shit. I guess that's what she probably was part of that whole thing. You know, I don't know what she thought. I think she grew up, she was Midwestern and I think she, just a hard worker, you know, you go, you get things done. I think there wasn't a lot of feelings back in, back then maybe between families as much as now people,

Starting point is 00:16:16 you know, now we have a lot more time and everybody's like, we're all more in our feelings and stuff. And so society's kind of changed like that, but I don't know what it was like when she was a child but how old is she right now? She's 77. Oh she's older than me, that's rare. Somebody's older than me. Good God. So she's just ahead of me. Yes, she's an adult. So Jesus, so oh she didn't she got the,

Starting point is 00:16:46 let me think about that. I wonder what it was like then growing up. It's, well, I remember back then, people would have like nine kids, because some didn't live. Right. That's like, I mean, that's like animals do that. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:16:57 So I think things were a little bit more animalistic back then probably. Well, I think they were probably just purely utilitarian. Yeah. You know, not so much more. You really got a lot of choices. Well, I think they were probably just purely utilitarian. Yeah. You know, not so much more. You really got a lot of choices. You just had to do what you had to do.

Starting point is 00:17:11 Yeah, and maybe care was like a secondary thing. It was almost like a blessing if you had enough, you know, or like a... I don't know. I mean, everybody would care about their children and stuff. But I wonder how much that's changed over the years, like how we look at that. Well, now it's gotten so insular that the kids are just all fucked up, they need more of what your mom did probably.

Starting point is 00:17:32 Yeah. It went way too far the other way. Oh, it's gotten really, really, it's gotten pretty out there. Did, whenever you kinda got, were you kinda shocked by like whenever you got like canceled by Hollywood or whatever the term is right? Many times.

Starting point is 00:17:46 But whenever they like, they didn't even take into account like all that you had done for like women in comedy or any, I mean that's really weird. Or gays. Yeah. They were the ones right there kicking me. Oh yeah, your, Rosanna gay characters on it. Yeah, the first show that I had the first, you know, gay characters and the first gay kiss and all that.

Starting point is 00:18:10 Oh, yeah, I remember yelling to my mom, hey, mom, gays are okay, you know? Really? Yeah. Oh, I can't find my lighter now. I must have that under my butt. Yeah, they didn't take any of that into account at all. But maybe they did take a doing account, and that's where they got rid of me. Because I did break rules, and they always hated me for it.

Starting point is 00:18:33 Whether they agreed with them or not, they still hate a rule breaker or somebody who thinks. And after working there for nine years in a big cement building with no windows, that's how I spent all my time there. Really on Roseanne? Yeah, big soundstage, you know. Yeah. And so seeing the ins and outs of weekly stuff for nine years, you just learn stuff.

Starting point is 00:19:04 They don't, they just want stuff to go smoothly. They don't want boat rockers. They don't want nobody that says no. Even if you're the author, they don't know what's funny. That's number one. And if something makes them laugh out loud, they think that that's bad.

Starting point is 00:19:23 They like to go like this. They think, oh well, but it's their arrogance because they're like, well, the people at home are such bigots and idiots. They're not going to get that. They're like the super conscience, the super conscious or whatever you say it, super conscience of people they really look down on that they imagine they know how they think. Yeah, well, it's, you know, I'm hoping that someone creates an app, right? Where you can look at a business and decide

Starting point is 00:19:55 and you'll know who the business, like their owners, who they support, like where they put their political funds, right? Yeah. So then as a buyer of something, what's it called? Consumer. Consumer. Then you can say, okay, I'm gonna put my money

Starting point is 00:20:12 because all, they're only have money to put places because you're paying them money, right? So it's like if you could start adjust the other end of the spectrum where now you get to put your money almost as if where they get to put their money onto like in different into different lobbying spaces or whatever.

Starting point is 00:20:30 Now you get to put your money into, you'll know by looking an app, okay, this business footlocker, they like this and this and this. I support that, I'm gonna support, I'm gonna spend my money there. Or Joe's shoes, they like this and this and this. I support that, I'm gonna put my money there. Or Joe's shoes, they like this and this and this. I support that, I'm gonna put my money there. That way you're gonna-

Starting point is 00:20:48 Yeah, you should be able to put that one, you buy their products, say, I don't approve of this thing you're giving money to, so don't use any amount of my money to go toward that. Right. Right? But I like this, you're doing so, you know, whatever percentage of my money you're siphoning off.

Starting point is 00:21:04 To go towards that. Or you could put into the app in the beginning, these are the things that I'll kind of believe in. And like, these are kind of my core beliefs that I think are helpful in society that I would like my money to reflect. And then the app could show you, well, these are 40 businesses that-

Starting point is 00:21:20 That's a good idea. That way we're gonna, that way, we have the, it's where we're putting our money in that. Yeah. That way we're not paying for somebody to kill us. Right. Right, we're not bearing the cost of our own destruction.

Starting point is 00:21:37 Because that's how they're doing it. Oh, it's crazy. Right, ain't it crazy? But do you think there are big forces at play that kind of run this whole thing? Or do you think there are big forces that play that kind of run this whole thing or do you think it's just Business and that is just the byproduct of like You know of power and greed. That's what I wonder something. I think it's both

Starting point is 00:21:56 That's how it is because we didn't change it yet But the smarter we get and realize hey, that's just going towards killing me I got to flip the switch and I think we'll get smart like that pretty soon But the smarter we get and realize, hey, that's just going towards killing me. I gotta flip the switch. And I think we'll get smart like that pretty soon. To go, hey, we shouldn't be poisoning our farm ones. What are we gonna eat? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:22:14 But they're that stupid, because they're just so fixated on the money and nothing else. The short, they like the short term, the instant gratification thing, but that's never good. No. So they're going to have to figure that out.

Starting point is 00:22:30 And I think they will. I think that's coming with the coming crash. I think Americans are going to figure that out. It'd be interesting, I think. That's why I'm doing, you know, I'm doing my own podcast now. Yeah. Yeah, and that's why I'm doing it. Just go, how are we going to survive

Starting point is 00:22:46 what's coming and how come all y'all don't know what's coming. You can't see what's right in front of your face, but you know all the Queen of England's business. How come that is? Oh yeah, you put tits on something people they want to know about it, you know, but I mean, and they'll sit around and they can name everyone on these soap operas, the housewives of and all their family business. Say, um, what are the three branches of government? Huh? Yeah. It's like they purposely farmed us. They did farm us like human veal.

Starting point is 00:23:22 I always say we're like veal in high heels. You know, we're in these boxes. Yeah, getting fats for the slaughter. God. You know, we're that stupid. Are you injured? Is somebody injured? Look around you. Is there blood? Well, if there ever is, I can tell you this, Morgan and Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. They have over 100 offices nationwide and more than 800 lawyers with over $15 billion recovered for clients. Morgan and Morgan has a proven track record of fighting to get you full and fair compensation.

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Starting point is 00:26:22 somehow that was formulated to kind of look at things and get, you know, like I start to notice that as I get older, I thought we were from out of the gate somehow that was formulated to kind of look at things and get, you know, like I start to notice that as I get older, I thought we were all kind of the same when I was young and then I start to realize, oh, some of my friends or people that, you know, I was around when I was younger, they just have a, their mindset is more comfortable to sit in like without. Sometimes it's almost paranoia of looking at everything, you know? So it's kind of a blessing and a curse to have a mind where you're kind of be where you're able to see outside of things and maybe have an idea of a bigger picture Because it leads you sometimes to like things that are like is this real? Is this not real? But at the same time you're not just sitting there like

Starting point is 00:26:59 You know, you're not just standing in line for the slaughter you're at least raising your hand It feels like yeah to ask what's going on But it does start to feel like that it starts to feel like Yeah, does anybody really care about it? Like I think when I was young You know, we grew up with like a more tradition in America, you know with like the pledge of allegiance simple stuff You know hand jobs. I don't even think they do hand jobs anymore. I think they do They might you know they might but but it was like that you know, there was kind of like Now they call it tug jobs. Oh, they do yeah, I see that on the internet. Oh damn

Starting point is 00:27:38 I'm aggressive. Well a lot of these women are also They're coming in hot, you know, they coming in a little you know Yeah, the women are acting like the men coming in hot, they're coming in a little, you know. Yeah, the women are acting like the men did when I was in high school. Well, that's a thing. So yeah, they're tugging now. It used to be a little more, you know,

Starting point is 00:27:52 hand feels a little bit more comfortable, I think. Tug feels like, hey, let's fucking get out, you know. Yeah. Let's get it done and get out of here. Yeah, that's kind of how women are now. And the men are kind of like the, they seem like the girls were in high school. Like, well, I don't know what that means.

Starting point is 00:28:10 Yeah. What the hell? Shit turned around. You're with her. I'm so glad I'm past the sex urge. I'll tell you what. I said, you know, I know I look better now than I ever did. If I looked this good when I was 20, I don't know.

Starting point is 00:28:24 I would have made something of myself. But, you know, I don't have it. I would honestly, I would, I think I would even take you out on the date, I think. You would? Yeah, I think you're really pretty. Oh, you're so nice. I believe that, too. That is so nice.

Starting point is 00:28:41 You know how happy that makes an old woman. If I was 40 years older, I'd snap you in half like a potato chip. Yeah, I'm happy. Do you, or yeah, are there any things that you miss about sex as you get older, do you think? Well, I had an unfortunate experience that ended all my sex urges and all my sex thoughts because you know when you're old things happen to you as a woman if you're not gonna take all the hormones you know and you're just gonna try to age gracefully with your vagina and all. Well the one thing that was the one thing that was shocking is that I found out the only thing thin

Starting point is 00:29:22 on me is my vaginal walls. Yeah. And that's what happens. The older you get, they get more and more thin. And your husband, he's getting old too. So of course, he's got to go on the Viagra because you know, this and that and the other. Well, what ends up happening just isn't good. And so there I was. Every time I, you know know we did it. Well,

Starting point is 00:29:47 I got a horrible I, what are they called? UTI. UTI I think it's uterine and something. Yeah, you were never attractive. And the last time I got it was the last time I had sex. Well, they had to take me to the hospital. I started peeing blood in Ralph's. At Ralph's? At Ralph's. Oh, wow. I've done something. I've never done that at Ralph's.

Starting point is 00:30:10 Yeah, it was so scary. They had to take me to the hospital and they had to give me three morphine shots for my whatever it was to let loose and the bladder thing. Oh, and they give it to you right in your vagina? Oh, no. No, they give it to you right in your vagina? Oh, no. No, they give it to me right in the butt.

Starting point is 00:30:26 Oh, no, not in the vagina. Thank God, because I would have jumped out the window and just came to myself. Oh, if I see anybody put it down, yeah. I would, God, I would hate that. But then I was like, sorry, Charlie, to my boyfriend, sorry, Charlie, you're gonna have to, whatever,

Starting point is 00:30:43 you know, whatever you do, don't just whatever, keep it to yourself. Yeah. I'm done, I'm over it. I'm never going through that again. God. That people say, well, there's other ways to make love, you know, you can get with your partner and blah, blah.

Starting point is 00:30:59 So, you know, we do, we like to watch the ID channel on the mass murders. We lay there in bed together channel on the mass murders. We lay there in bed together and watch the mass murders. And that's just as, what do you call it, satisfying to me, which we try to solve the cases and that, the true crime. That's exciting. But, you know, I look back at people, I go, you're so proud of yourself for the having sex thing. They're so damn proud of their stuff, like every goat on earth don't do it.

Starting point is 00:31:29 It's so, yeah. I mean, look, first of all, a good date line episode will make me come to be honest. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Good ones, you know? Yeah, the good ones. The early ones, I thought were better. Some of the good, I mean,

Starting point is 00:31:39 they've kind of referred, repackaged some of them, but yeah, I've got, I mean, I have, there's, you know, there's something about a good murder that almost makes me go to sleep well. I know, me too. I'll sleep right through it. I keep it on all night. That one.

Starting point is 00:31:52 Because when I wake up and know somebody's getting murdered in the distance, I'm kind of, it kind of keeps going. The world is right. And the way they get caught is what attracts me to it. Because they're always so stupid and they think they're so smart. Yeah. You know, the criminal mind, it's really a stupid mind. Well, a lot of times it's a man just trying to kill some lady.

Starting point is 00:32:14 A lot of times it is, because he's got his issues. The one side like is the wife that poisoned their husband with the glycolate nucleic acid, which is antifreeze. Yeah. Those ones, they think they're not gonna get caught, you know, because they go, here's your gatorade, honey, and then they take care of him as he wastes away for two months. And then go to the hospital, he's got no kidney left, and she's like, I don't know what's wrong with him. Well, you know, then they trace it back and they always find the gate or aid in the end. Right next to the end of free.

Starting point is 00:32:47 Yeah. That's the worst. They sit in right next to each other. Yeah. But one thing that happened with society was during the pandemic, everyone watched every date line up. There was no, there's no more fresh murder. That's right.

Starting point is 00:33:00 So that is one thing that, and that was sedating a lot of the masses. Yeah. People being able to see some murder, see some with their partner, especially I think with a partner, because I think in a marriage, I've never been in one, but I think that there's something, there's like five percent of you that wants to kill that motherfucker. Oh yeah. If you could get away with it, but you know you can. Right, but at least you know you'll fuck up.

Starting point is 00:33:22 Yeah. Somebody else takes it away from you for the evening. Yeah, it kind of gets it out of your system. It's almost like going to an AA meeting. It's like I feel a little better after watching that. Yeah, you do. It's way, you know, you have to say the anti-freeze and the gatorate thing.

Starting point is 00:33:37 That's a lot smarter than how the women used to kill their husbands, because I always, you know, in like ethnic cultures and such, such as mine and where I grew up in Salt Lake was a lot of people of color cultures and such. And- Was there a lot of blacks or Filipinos or what was it? Yeah, that was a lot of blacks where I grew up in Salt Lake City.

Starting point is 00:34:00 Yeah. I lived in the inner city there. And yeah, so you always hear the story about the aunt or what she did to deal with an abusive husband back in the day before women had any other way of dealing with it. Well, you'd get your brothers and they'd just beat him to death and then you'd hide him. Barium. beat him to death and then they, you know, you know, you hide him. Yeah. Barium. So that's what people have done forever or with a pdophile, as you say, like pd a light. Well, yeah, both for children. Yeah. Well, they'd get them too, you know.

Starting point is 00:34:39 Yeah. It's like vigilante justice. Oh, yeah, I'll miss that kind of stuff. I think we're going to have probably have to go back to it because our laws and justice system is just bullshit. Right, ain't it? Oh, I think it's gotten ridiculous. I mean, even if you start with like, just the level of safety people feel. I think people don't feel safe. I notice if I go to Canada, the first thing I feel safe.

Starting point is 00:35:03 I felt that way in Canada too. You're like, what is it? What am I wearing to Canada, the first thing I feel safe. I felt that way in Canada too. You're like, what is it? What am I wearing? Oh, safety? Yeah, it feels different up there. And plus a doctor comes right to your hotel and don't charge you nothing. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:15 It's crazy. But then you have to have Justin Castro as your president. Yeah, that's that. You know, he's Castro's son. Is he really? Yeah. That's what some say. I wouldn't be surprised about that. He looks just like him too Mm-hmm. Any acts like him. He's a little tyrant. He's too fucking handsome to be a

Starting point is 00:35:33 President. I don't trust people that's too handsome. I don't either. You know, yeah, he is too handsome I never when I see him. I'm like all right. I'll listen to you for a little bit But I'm not listening you for a long time Anybody that's got it that easy visually. Yeah, I know what you mean, you know, I feel the same way Dude I keep at it easier your whole life. You don't know nothing. Yeah, you don't know anything Uh-uh. You don't have to fight for anything. Yeah, you don't know what it's like to walk up to people and have them not even listen You because how you look you know, oh God, is that why we're comics? I think, oh, I think probably.

Starting point is 00:36:06 Probably, yeah. Yeah, I think, but I think, yeah, we're in a place of real fee. I mean, if people are moving to a state where you can carry a weapon. Oh, I know, that's why I came down here to Texas. Yeah. And part of me, that's why I moved to Tennessee, because you can carry a weapon there. So at least if somebody's gonna start some shit,

Starting point is 00:36:24 they're gonna risk somebody ending some shit. See, I think that's a better way to live. It really is, especially for women, all women should be armed all the time of the shit we have to deal with. Oh, yeah. And all the time looking over your shoulder and watching out for your kids,

Starting point is 00:36:39 that is a lot of stress, where you could just, I think we should have open carry for women. You should have them bandaliers like those Mexican guys used to have like bullets everywhere. It's like, what did you say? Yeah. Just blow their fucking heads on off, right? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:59 Oh, I think a woman should be able to kill one man a month. At least. Yeah. I don't know about killing, but threatening. Once a year though, everybody should be able to kill one person a year. Well, I don't know about killing. What about this?

Starting point is 00:37:18 A guilty person maybe. Yeah. If they're proven guilty in a court of their peers under under just law, then you should be able to kill. That's the problem is that law got kind of weird. It got like, is this a, you know, it's like, because you go back and see all these cases where it's like some guy I convicted and you didn't do it. Right. There was a lot of that. Especially like when it came to like race, when it came to women. There's a news shown right now about women

Starting point is 00:37:45 that accused guys of rape. I know, I wanna see that. And then they turned it on the women and put them incarcerated to women for false accusations, right? And some of them were real accusations. It's just, I mean, some of them may have been false also. But. That's a really I mean, some of them may have been false also, but.

Starting point is 00:38:05 Yeah, that's a really weird, a whole weird area where someone can accuse somebody and it's a false accusation and that person has to go to prison and pay for that. Yeah. And they didn't do nothing. But you know, there's a shitload of that. Yeah. And then a shitload on the other side of, you know, real victims that are humiliated. Yeah. And then a shit load on the other side of, you know, real victims that are humiliated. Yeah. All they have to do is make sure nothing makes sense and we're all fine. As long as nothing makes sense

Starting point is 00:38:33 and it don't follow any rule or, and it has no application of equal justice to it, then fine, we're doing great. Yeah. It's too hard. Have you been, what's something that's kind of surprised you as your life went on when you look back at life so far when you're like, wow, I didn't think this was kind of going to go this way or this kind of blew my mind. Everything. Really? Yeah. I was always real idealist, so I thought, oh,

Starting point is 00:39:07 deal with so I thought, oh, everything would work out better than it did. So I was always like disappointed. Even for society and everything. Yeah, because it's like, it wouldn't be that hard to make it go right. But yeah, it never does, you know. It's like, how calm? It makes more sense and it's cheaper to do shit right. But then it never is done right. Yeah, and people don't, and it's tough to decide sometimes

Starting point is 00:39:32 for me if it's the, if it's our leader, if it's our people, if it's just people in general, I think it's people, there's something wrong with people, I think. I'll tell you one thing that is disappointment is, being an outspoken woman speaking for a woman's rights and this and that and the other or equality, that's a big disappointment to me. I don't think it's going to go like that when that's a huge disappointment. And, you know, being a child of the 60s or you wanted to see a, you know, a fully integrated America where everybody got along

Starting point is 00:40:11 and this and that and the other, that's a disappointment. Yeah, that didn't go right. Yeah, because there was a lot of like, well, with women, did it kind of, I feel like things seemed pretty equal, maybe, but I'm not a woman. Yeah. You know? I mean, I but I'm not a woman. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:25 You know? I mean, I grew up a lot of times like, I have some anger, I think, that my mom had to work all the time. I remember the one time I spent with my mother when it was just her and I. She took me to work with her one day on her route. She delivered newspapers and things

Starting point is 00:40:48 and we got to go to Wendy's together. I remember it and we went to Wendy's dude and she made me tuck in my shirt. We went in there and I was all excited and I got the cheeseburger and that foil had that nice foil on it. I think it's not copper but it's nice. And the square burger and it was like the first time

Starting point is 00:41:07 I'd ever spent any time with my, like it was just registered, because I was like, oh, I've never been alone with my mother. You know, we had three other kids, my whole life. I just had never had any alone time with her. I remember she had like a rug on her floor. It was like a cow rug.

Starting point is 00:41:24 And I would go smell it sometimes in pretend like it was my dad, which is kind of crazy because it had like a tough smell, you know? And- Where was your dad was he not there? Yeah, he was just older. My dad was 70 when I was one, he was an old man. So he- Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:41:37 He wasn't around, but I didn't have this concept of a young dad, like a protector or anything. So I remember I'd pretend like concept of like a young dad, you know, like a protector or anything. So I remember I'd like pretend like my dad was like a cowboy or that like he was like in the wild west or shooting somebody, not an Indian, because I don't think they deserved it, but somebody else, you know? But anyway, I don't even know why I went off

Starting point is 00:41:59 on that tangent on this unturned occasion. Because you were saying it would mean. Oh women, yeah. So I think I was a, you know. Spend a time with your mom. Yeah, yeah, you got it lighter, I got it right here. I got it. I'll hit a dart with you and I get you a saying. Oh women, yeah. So I think I was a, you know, been in time with your mom. Yeah, yeah, you got a lighter. I got it. I'll hit a dart with you.

Starting point is 00:42:09 And I'll hit a dart with you. All right. Not as well, huh? Fuck yeah. Fuck you. That's why I love to come here because I let me smoke. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 00:42:17 Rogan will let you do anything. I know he will. Well, I got to fucked up last time I went on stage here. Did you? Oh, wow, boy. Give me that lighter. Oh, I don't need, I'm supposed to not smoke, but I can't out bet. Yeah, I think.

Starting point is 00:42:36 Oh, dude, it's the best thing in the world. God, when I fucking was young, I would smoke, boy, I remember I worked on this farm and after it would rain, we had this big guy and he go take his shirt off and lay on the cement after it would rain. To cool down? I don't know what was wrong with him but we go smoke and watch him later. It was beautiful and then it was just you know it was a different time. It was probably semi erotic. I bet if you were a man and know, it was a different time. It was probably semi-erotic. I bet if you were a man and you were into some real man stuff and you watch that video,

Starting point is 00:43:09 two younger guys watching a big fellow layover that shirt off, I bet it's probably erotic for them. For who? I mean, if they had the video if gay bid watched it or whatever, you know, I could see that being some type of like ASMR for like gay men or like some type of like avant-garde type of art or something. I don't know. There's a lot of new like farm boy art that's coming out in the gay culture where you see like a lot of old pictures of like

Starting point is 00:43:34 top like guys with no shirts, but not like buff guys, just guys doing farm work. I've noticed it like a lot of my gay friends are like it's like a thing in that culture right now like that kind of art. The gay farm guy. Yeah like gay farm. Well that's more human than you know the really fashionable New York city gay guy with no with really short pants and no socks. Yeah, I think that stuff's kind of getting played out a little bit. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:11 Yeah, did you, uh, so I guess a what part of being like a woman or like women's like empowerment kind of disappeared or whatever, or do you feel like it went a different way than you expected or do you feel like, because there was a time probably when you were like, this is a woman with her voice, right? Yeah, and that felt so good.

Starting point is 00:44:30 It did it felt good, like I was really breaking down doors and boundaries, you know, and I was feeling heroic and, like a pioneer, you know, that pioneer feeling like, yes, I can. Oh, yeah. That rosy the riveted polisher. You know that rosy the riveted poster we can do it. We can do it too We're you know we're coming hard for this new century We are members of the all-american. Yeah, like a League of their own. Yeah

Starting point is 00:45:01 But then it's like how the women fuck that up Yeah, you know,, yeah, the women fuck that up. I think, you know, but what happened? Women, women fucked it up with their stupidity and just their, oh, just their stupidity and ego's. And they need to like be attractive or win or and they love fucking over other women. That's the most

Starting point is 00:45:26 thing nobody will ever talk about. Really? Oh women get off fucking over another woman more than they more than anything. Oh my God. Well that bitch I showed her. I just not that bitch a lesson. Yeah. That's all the left is always women. Take another woman down. Oh dude. I remember in our neighborhood somebody got a bird feeder, right? Some bits trying to show off, right? And so this other lady, they were always stealing it and shit and fucking fighting over it, dude. And you'd have all these hummingbirds.

Starting point is 00:45:59 That was nice. It was that we had hummingbirds for about, I guess probably almost six months. And but these women were always stealing it and putting it in their own little bush outside and stuff and they were fucking fight in the police would come and over hummingbird feeder. Yeah. Oh, well, so you can imagine what it's like in Hollywood. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:20 Yeah, it's just a bigger hummingbird feeder. Yeah, kind of. I mean, women are after other women's throats there. Yeah. And it's like, well, you might get your head padded from a guy with real power if you help them do that. That's so crazy. It's so crazy.

Starting point is 00:46:35 Because you got up high in the Hollywood world. You were in there. I was real high, but they don't have no allegiance to any group. It's just all me, me, me, me. It's just a nation of narcissists over there. They don't feel any empathy or connection to nobody else. Yeah, I was high up there. It was weird. But did you feel like you were like an empower, or were you of like a figure empowering

Starting point is 00:47:02 women to like be like business owners? What did you do? I guess I wonder what you're or to have a voice. I was trying to just empower women to think for themselves, you know, and to try to stay true to yourself. And so you can raise better kids. Don't kneel, you know, stand tall and, you know, don't disrespect your husband either. You know, be a team with him to raise better kids. That's what we're supposed to do, I thought, and I still do. But, you know, they don't like that. Women didn't like that. Women, but I feel like they were led there. They were told, oh, you can do it all.

Starting point is 00:47:48 You don't need a man. So, you know, they have all these kids, and they have no jobs. And, you know, then they struggle forever and their kids struggle too. But nobody would tell them, you can't have it all. You can't do it all. You can't do it all by yourself.

Starting point is 00:48:03 No. No. It's going to be really hard. Yeah, and you need a guy. You need a man in the house because he's got to lay down the law. Not you. You don't even, you can't lay down the law. You're hysterical half the month. Right. Nobody wants to admit that either.

Starting point is 00:48:18 But the man has to be there steady and even to keep, you know, loving the woman when she goes nuts. he's got to be like steady and even with it. Women need that balance and so they took that away from them and look where it went. They're all half out of their effing mind and they're ruining everything. Screaming about, you're, you know, you better, you know, just censoring everybody like witches, like a cabal of witches. It is gotten witchy.

Starting point is 00:48:45 Yeah. And it's like, and it ain't the right kind of witchy either. Right. Because witchy, that's like, you know, you're casting a spell, a good spell with words to make people wake up or think, that everything's a spell that uses words, you know. And this is just all to get rid of words. So

Starting point is 00:49:07 we have no way of communicating or making things better. All's we do is fight and hate. And a lot of women love that. A lot of women love chaos. A lot of women are into chaos because then they can turn around when they're not crazy and go, let me calm things down. Bitch, you started the whole fucking thing, and now you're gonna come in with the solution, you know, for real. I have three daughters, so I know what I'm talking about.

Starting point is 00:49:34 You know, really? Yeah, I'm two sons. I met your son, I met Buck. Yeah, you met Buck. And I met. Jake, he's over there. Oh yeah, what's up Playboy? Hey man, nice to see you dude.

Starting point is 00:49:46 Thanks for being here with your mother today. Yeah, you know what I think, I don't know, as a child of a single mother, it was interesting because my mom had to work all the time. So I always wished that there was more of an ideal family. I would get it by watching shows like Roseanne. I would get it by, I mean yours, like Roseanne. I would get it by, I mean, I'm a hard watch, Jerry Metleva to beaver, you know.

Starting point is 00:50:09 Yeah, I love that show. God, it was good. Wasn't it good? It was so fucking good. You wanted to be in that family. In Eddie Haskell. Oh, I loved Eddie Haskell. Me too, didn't you love him?

Starting point is 00:50:19 My favorite one was where they tell their parents are going to take a bath and the beaven. What was the brother name? Wally. Wally. So they go in the bathroom, they close the door, and they run the water in the bathtub while they're talking, and they get a wash rag and get it all wet and rub soap on it, and hold that under the faucet. And then they wet up a towel and throw it on the floor, but they haven't taken them back at all.

Starting point is 00:50:45 It was so funny. That was just genius, because it's what kids do. I'd love that show because they had a lot of reality and I loved it. I loved anything on TV that had any kind of reality that showed what kids really are about. And Eddie Haskell is the best because you would be a great Eddie Haskell by the best because you would be a great Eddie Haskell by

Starting point is 00:51:05 the way wouldn't you. Oh, dude. You look lovely today, Mrs. Cleaver. Yeah. And then you're like, I got a bag of what's that we're going to snort it in the garage. Yeah, dude, I made it myself. Oh, dude, I love, oh, I told I used to go get high with my buddies, right? My buddy, uh, Dude, I love, oh, I told I used to go get high with my buddies, right? My buddy, uh, my buddy, his dad was kind of like, he didn't know a lot about gaze or anything. He didn't believe in it, right? So sometimes I'd go outside and get high with, uh, with him, with his son. And then I would come back in early, right? And I would tell the dad, I'd be like, man, we were outside

Starting point is 00:51:46 and some of the guys had their shirts off and they were just, I don't know, Mr. Mike, they were being kind of crazy. I felt like our strange and you could see him fucking start to light up because he thought it was like some kind of gay activity, right? So we would come. So, so they would come and they'd be stoned out their gills right? They have no idea. I've been talking to the dad. And he'd be like, you boys been querid around that. He would fucking lose his shit. You could see he's been waiting to yell it. And everybody's just standing there just stoned. And

Starting point is 00:52:20 I am laughing so hard because I made that moment happen. You know, oh shit like that. I miss. and I am laughing so hard because I made that moment happen, you know. Oh shit like that, I miss, man. Yeah, sometimes I think everybody would. My dad used to call it a $3 bill. He did? He's that's what his thing for gay was. And he ended up with two gay kids.

Starting point is 00:52:37 My dad was a football player and he always would go, he'd say the girls can't go with him and my brother. He'd go, no, it's the boys with the boys and the girls with the girls. That there were three sisters, he'd say, the girls, I'll say, home with mom and you make dinner and that. Me and my son were going to do whatever, we're doing because this boys with boys and girls was going, well, he ended up with a **** in a gay. And I said, remember, dad, you said girls with girls and boys with boys, that's what happens. But then he didn't know his son was gay.

Starting point is 00:53:09 I knew he was gay. Like when he was three and he's always one of my mom's clothes and stuff. Oh, yeah. And putting on fashion shows. But my dad thought that he needed more time with my dad, which was probably the worst thing ever. And my dad going around with all that homophobia.

Starting point is 00:53:25 There are squares, $3 bills. You know, my poor brother taking them out and putting that in his head. And then my mom being so ladylike. My mom's like the most ladylike. Really? She was the pretty girl. And I was her fat ugly daughter,

Starting point is 00:53:43 she went on my hair in the corner. And a shower's had to do. Yeah, you'll eat anything. You'll have a little bit of your own hair. You'll eat whatever. Yeah, any. Trin on my nails, my arms, whatever, my hair. And so, you know, she always have her makeup perfect and telling us about, you know, how

Starting point is 00:54:02 to do and say and whatever. I ended up half nuts. And my little sister, she ended up being all anorexic. And then my middle sister, she ended up to be a big old f*** you know. And so, you know, she had a big leather pouch full of marbles she carried on her overalls there. Oh, yes. It was seven years old. Less pebbles, they call them the legs.

Starting point is 00:54:29 Yeah, less pebbles. And my mom was doing that girl shit with us and talking about, well, you know, you got to learn how to get them. She told me when you go on a date, how you get a guy is you get them to talk about their self and this and that and the other and she's giving us the female wilds horseshit and my sister picked up a knife out of that butcher block there and she held it up to my mom she goes don't you ever ever talk to me about sex or any of that stuff ever so So my mom's just like, oh, you're so funny. But, but, but, but anyway, so cut to later on my brother comes out. So my dad, he's trying

Starting point is 00:55:19 to be accepting. He knows, oh, you know, I can't do nothing about this. So he gives my brother knee pads for his birthday. No way for doing oral. Well, just knee pads going, I accept you as a gay and here's some knee pads. Kind of cute. Beautiful in a way for my dad. You know. And then he never knew that my sister was gay

Starting point is 00:55:42 even though she's living with the same girl for, now it's 36 years. They fell in love when they were 12 at Jewish camps. And he never knew that my sister was gay even though she's living with the same girl for now. It's 36 years. They fell in love when they were 12 at Jewish camp. Oh, yeah. And they were still together. And when they were 12, I said, but anyway, so they was always together. And my dad visited them and my sister was sitting on the couch with Maxine's head in her

Starting point is 00:56:02 lap and, you know, stroking her hair. and my dad says to my sister after he's already accepted to gay son. One or you two going to find men and get married because he's so oblivious to anything. And my sister says to him, daddy, 18 years of view was all the man I will ever want or need in this world. And he still didn't get it. You know. Yeah, I think some people, you just already even imagine that. What being gay? Yeah, well, I think also at a different time now, it's very normal.

Starting point is 00:56:33 And I think nature has a way like if you have an issue with gays, you get a, you get a gay child or a gay pet or whatever, you get something that's gay comes into your life, you know? So you learn the lesson, you know, or's gay comes into your life, you know, so you learn the lesson, you know Are you surprised yourself in your gay? You know one time you are sitting by a bus on a bus by a man And you just and you just you just fucking hug him you can't stop it or something, you know Like I think it like nature surprises you and is like, okay, here's the thing that's Tough for you to fathom in now and I'm gonna put it in a way in your life

Starting point is 00:57:05 where you have to understand it, right? Well, or you won't, or you'll die, not understand and shit. I think that's how most people die, you know. You can't not to make sense. Like I said, they gotta make sure God or whoever. I always think of God as being the greatest comedian because he makes sure not and makes any damn sense.

Starting point is 00:57:25 Right at the end, it's like especially at the end. You know, like I always think of this kid when I grew up, his dad was a dentist while he had the rotten teeth and never went to the dentist. So that, in that way, it's funny. Yeah. You know, he let all his teeth rot out, And I think that he got some kind of bacterial infection and got really, really sick. And it's like, what is your father doing?

Starting point is 00:57:49 Oh, he's a dentist. That kind of thing. Right. It's all crazy like that. Right there. But now the gay, because both of my gay siblings have kids, so the gays are getting their karma for having kids, I think. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:58:03 Their kids are grown and a lot of them's turn in trans, you know. Well, you have to outdo gay now. It seems like, you know. And then it's funny because the trans are so, I mean, this is a long way to go, but the trans are so heterosexual. Once they make their choice, then they're all the way stereotypical heterosexual.

Starting point is 00:58:27 So what do you mean, like a woman that is such, she is really a man. Yeah, she's like, hey, but let's watch some football. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then when the guy turns girl, he's like, Dylan, what's it? I just love to play around him with my makeup

Starting point is 00:58:42 and they're just strange. Yeah, it's almost like they're actors. It's almost like, yeah. But they, right, it's like you went all the way around the block and you're really just right back but you're doing it in your own front. It's like, yeah. Like the gay, the trans women, they're like,

Starting point is 00:58:57 how come you lesbian said one have sex with us? Well, cause you have a dick. And they're making a thing of it. What do you mean, so you're transphobic? No, I'm a lesbian. Yeah, I don't want a wiener around me. Yeah, it's like no dicks, get it? What's so fucking hard about that?

Starting point is 00:59:14 Yeah, and then you're a transphote. Right. It's like, I'm not a tr... I don't even... I don't want to... It's your thing. I don't want to have to have a wiener because you think that you... Just because you have a wiener because you think that you just

Starting point is 00:59:25 because you have a wiener and are secretly a woman that you get to bring a wiener in. I know, that's why my advice to women these days is, keep your penises in your pants women. You know, especially when there's children or old women around, we don't want to see other women's penises. For sure, right?

Starting point is 00:59:44 That ain't lady like 100% Well, it's a saint. Yeah, I Unbelievable. Yeah, that's Secret got me I think it did I haven't had one in a long time out of puff the other night and it was a lot With Ron white, you know, oh, I love him so much dude Dude, and he's a, I mean, he would be a beautiful woman. You think? The beautiful hair. Well, his hair is gorgeous.

Starting point is 01:00:10 But the rest of him, yeah, probably wouldn't, yeah. Wouldn't go as a woman. It'd be tough. I mean, it depends if you wanted to play sports, they'd let him, you know, he'd have to, he'd be fine. Yeah, he could probably get on a woman's team. Somebody would, how funny is that guy? Well, how funny is, to me, it's only fair if a man,

Starting point is 01:00:31 if a woman also goes and plays a man, it's like, it should be red Rover, like, okay? I know, but what woman's gonna go play with a 300 pound man? Right, so it's not, so they do. So it should be like this. The man can play women sports if women can compete in the top dollar jobs against men, which they'll never allow. Like why couldn't I go

Starting point is 01:00:53 in there and run the W E F? I got more experience than them, mother fuckers. I just didn't go to Harvard and say, you know, take an oath over Geronimo's skull and get fucked in a casket, like George Bush and all of them, you know what I mean? But I should be running the world and getting the same amount of money as these men. Let's make it fair. I should be going where they don't let women go. They're gonna let men in the sports

Starting point is 01:01:21 then let me go to Davos as a representative of working class people say. Let me represent women and men of my class where my class ain't allowed. Bitches, fuckers. I agree. Yeah, it's like, how do like, do you think there's ways out like to get our,

Starting point is 01:01:46 I think there was ways, when I was young, I had to say, I guess this idea of like a comfortable society, we all like being in America, this is this place, it's going well. For everybody. Right, society is. We're fixing the wrong. Right, we're fixing the wrong.

Starting point is 01:02:02 It felt like that, right? Yeah, I do. I know there's a lot of racial injustice. I know there's You know women not look not paid fairly. I mean, I mean, I mean that was another thing my mom I remember one time like her boss. I think hit on her or something or was inappropriate and she complained about it and they took her job away Oh, shit They did that just so many women man that shit fucking makes me so mad, you know? They did it to a lot of men too,

Starting point is 01:02:28 because women were harassing men and they didn't even look at that or can't do it. Yeah. Power, you know, whether a man or a woman holds it, is always abused. It's never not abused, you know? And women were doing that to other women and men too. And they never

Starting point is 01:02:45 even looked at that. They said, all oppressors are male. All victims are female. And that's part of what made women go nuts like they are today. They never go, Hey, I'm just as bad as a right. I'm as bad as any guy. I'm an abuse of myself, but they never do. They don't have no self reflectionreflection. I think this whole fucking generation has no self-reflection, which is because they don't pay attention because they're lost in the phones. That's why I say, why is it fallen to me and old woman to be the one to discipline your kids for you in the grocery store? I have to be the one to go over and slap your kids for you while

Starting point is 01:03:21 you're on your phone and they're sticking their fucking snot cover fingers in the goddamn hamburger buns. You're not paying attention. I got to go over there and slap them for you. Why? Why do I even have kids is what I can understand? They don't like them. They don't care for them. They do all the wrong shit and use them too. Why even have them? I don't know why. I think because they kind of like puppies, they look cute for a while. Oh, I think that is a lot of it. They want them to get to hold that sign first grade, second grade. Dude, the best was in my neighborhood. Somebody did that. They put their picture on Facebook of the kid and then he had second grade two times and I was like,

Starting point is 01:04:03 fuck, yeah. and he had second grade two times and I was like, fuck, he had to do it. He was like, you're right there. But at least the fair is footed up there as honest, you know? That's cool. Like second grade, try number two.

Starting point is 01:04:14 You can do it Robert, they wrote it at the bottom. And we know we can't do it, dude, but he's gonna try. But I at least respected that. But yeah, I think there was something like that. There was something that we all thought everything was gonna be okay. And then, but you're under an illusion then,

Starting point is 01:04:33 or do you think things were different? Did you take my cigarettes? I can't take it. Oh, thank you, honey. You can't have no more. You can't handle. You can't hang with the big dogs. Thank you, actually.

Starting point is 01:04:42 It actually feels good to have, I wish somebody would have told me that when I was young. You can't do this, and you can't. It actually feels good to have, I wish somebody would have told me that when I was young. You can't do this and you can't. No more at S, you know? Yeah, well, they didn't tell me that and I was like, well, we'll see. Yeah, that's true, huh? So who knows? I probably would have been home anyway anyway.

Starting point is 01:04:55 I was so straight for so many years, no cigarettes, no drink, and no drugs and nothing. For so many years when my kids were young, So I figure a hell I got a lot of catching up to do. I didn't party with all these comics and shit. You didn't? No. But nowadays, we who? And you're in a place where you're like in the best party place. I mean nothing's better than being able to probably smoke with Joe or smoke with Ron or chill out with those guys. Those guys have the best pot. I've ever, this one guy williamat redhead of comic. Oh yeah, he's an interesting guy.

Starting point is 01:05:31 It's an E. He's a great comic too. He is funny. I took a drag to his pot and I go, this shit is v-ed, Kong shit. Yeah. It's like it made me want to dig a tunnel and shoot down a helicopter with a pea shoot. Oh yeah, dude. It's like I knew I could do it.

Starting point is 01:05:47 It's like fierce. Oh yeah. He's a great comic. Yeah, he is a unique person. Yeah. He's a unique person. I like to just watch him be himself William Montgomery. That's his name.

Starting point is 01:06:03 It's all Celtic. I told him, you know, Celtic, because I like reading heads, you know, I'm a head reader. I know you don't know what that is. And what does that do, does your, what are you touching skull in that? No, I just look at the shape of a head and I studied it for a long time

Starting point is 01:06:18 and you know, I can see like where you're from and your ancestry and where you came from and what you're like and your ancestry and where you came from and what you're like. And then I pair it with your astrological sign and your palm print and all that kind of shit. And then I can tell you what lessons you learned and what you're still gonna learn. I'm kind of a fortune teller.

Starting point is 01:06:39 Really? Yeah. Can you do it on me you think or not? I can, but you know, you'll be the one that I do wrong. Yeah. That's great. You know, every so often I do it wrong. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:50 We had a lady in our town that would like read ribs. She was like a, like a mystic or whatever. And for a carnival or whatever they would read your ribs over there, she, you know, do this and do that. Why did you tell you did you do it? Huh? No, I don't think they She got it ended up getting they only get it for two seasons. She got arrested for something probably molesting

Starting point is 01:07:12 It could have been I mean, that's a tough, you know I guess starting at the ribs ain't a bad idea people don't think of that. Yeah, that's grooming I'll start here at your ribs Yeah, you're gonna be a science You know everything's just grooming now I'll start here at your ribs. Yeah, you're gonna be a scientist. Yeah. You know, everything's just grooming now. You know, is there something wrong with human society? Is it just America, do you think? Like, is there a fallacy just in being human

Starting point is 01:07:39 that, you know, and this is the character arc of the human species that we end up just staring at a phone while somebody molests us from behind, but we don't even notice because we're so busy on our phone while some fucking, you know, business mogul is hiding in a basement lick and a bit coin, you know, with a lizard tail. Like what? Yeah. Is that what Like, what? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:08:05 Is that what we end up doing? Yeah. Okay. That's how it always ends. They say it's happened six times in the Earth's history that the Earth has self-destructed and all forms of life on it died. Wow.

Starting point is 01:08:17 Then it starts up again. Yeah, I think that's the story. It's like we're involution, not evolution. We're involute. And then, you know, pretty soon, we're just a stupid idiot staring at a screen while all our tax money goes to Ukraine. I know. You know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:08:34 Yeah, what are they doing? It's like figure it out over there. It's like, They're figuring out ways to kill us. And they're taking bets on it and insurance policies. Like every employer is taking out a, they don't have to tell you if you have insurance policy on you. So every employer's, you know, with that societal path and most of them are, they're insuring all their employees

Starting point is 01:08:55 and they're like, yeah, you know, we're gonna make them take this and that and the other and live here and do that. And then, you know, they'll be dead by 40 and I'll get the pay off. People are doing that? Hell yeah! In the big casino, the big capitalist casino,

Starting point is 01:09:11 where they cause cancer and then, you know, they also get a pay off when you go in for treatment. They own that too. They own the cancer causing chemicals and the treatment centers. There's only about 2,500 people in the world that own everything. Yeah, oh yeah, I believe that.

Starting point is 01:09:30 Well, like we got to get rid of these people as they bitch too much, they don't do enough work and they're eating all the good stuff. Well, they don't care. I mean, it's like, it certainly starts to feel like there's like this legion of wealth or power that has decided in the past 30 years that humans are just expendable. Yeah, they've always thought that.

Starting point is 01:09:53 That's why they had serfs, the royals, and they had their serfs and their relics. That's true. So it's always been there, that idea. Yeah, feudalism, it's always been there. And we had a few couple centuries without it and the royals and the reptiles and all of them, the rulers, they, the owners. Yeah. They decided to have fuck it. You know, all they do is bitch anyway. It's a pain in our ass have to deal with them. Get rid of them. Bring in the machines. Oh. Yeah. And so it's me. Pretty soon they'll have a Comedian robots that'll come up and they'll tell like, you know, they'll get it out of the Encyclopedia.

Starting point is 01:10:31 Everybody's act for free. And they'll just program the robots, tell the jokes that have already been told that people haven't heard. And, you know, we won't have jobs no more. But I don't know if they could ever do that. They could never replicate you, I don't think. Sure they could. They couldn't come up with the material,

Starting point is 01:10:49 but they can use my old material. There's enough of it out there. Yeah, but watching some like, and they'd probably cast a man to be it. So watch. Oh, definitely. They'd put a man in. Definitely put a man in.

Starting point is 01:11:04 Or share four fucking A-shur. But I don't know if the robots can, I don't know. Definitely they they'd put a man in definitely put a man in or share For fucking a sure, but I don't know if the robots guy I don't know so I think we're in an interesting time where comedians are kind of like the last the last people that can kind of or even Can speak a lot of people can't speak in their jobs. They get like like Attacked for speaking up online of any of their thoughts or feelings They're like the only people, communities are kind of the people that can speak and the platforms now keep you from saying certain things. I mean, it seems like they're getting a little more free with Elon, you know, in Twitter, but I don't know like if that will happen with a lot of platforms,

Starting point is 01:11:39 but YouTube will take down clips if you have certain things. People are talking even thinking about things that they consider misinformation or go against their guidelines. Yeah. Which is, it's their business, but it's weird because that's the business that we use to communicate on now.

Starting point is 01:11:54 Yeah, it's all bullshit. It's all, when I ran for president in 2012, one of my platform things was I will outlaw bullshit. Yeah. Because, you know, and I know that horrified people because what will I do now? Right. They're addicted to it. They'd rather have that than food or a happy family.

Starting point is 01:12:13 They're so addicted to the fucking bullshit. It's true, huh? But, you know, comics, I think, we're the less free speech art form. And as long as we're performing, things end as bad as they could be, you know? I think that's true. As long as we're performing, things things end as bad as they could be. You know, I think that's true. As long as we're performing, things aren't as bad as they could be. And that's always been the case throughout time, like with gestures or with people that we try and speak up and share. There's always been a ceiling on speech, hasn't there in a way.

Starting point is 01:12:40 Of course, and nobody wants to hear the real truth. They're horrified now. They're ready to go with bullshit. It's easier. And for the real truth, and I'm glad that they did set up all these guidelines so that we only are allowed to speak the truth. And the truth is that Biden got 81 million votes by winning 36 counties.

Starting point is 01:13:03 And that is just incredible. It really really is. And that of these 81 million supporters who gave him more bolts than any president has ever gotten before. He came with a mandate from these 81 million voters. And I'm just glad that they were very careful to make sure that nobody could detract from that proven truth, you know what I mean?

Starting point is 01:13:33 Like what do you mean like that nobody? That they mandated that that was the truth and that nobody could say, well what about no? Oh, it was made a mandate. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that. So the government made it a mandate? Yeah, because you know, YouTube did and so did all the social.

Starting point is 01:13:51 Oh, so you can't speak. You can't even speak on that in those platforms. No, you can't say, you know, that it wasn't. You can't say that like, you know, the election was re-actured. Yeah, that's all a lie. The election was not reg. 36 counties can give you 81 million votes.

Starting point is 01:14:08 Right. That's a fact. So it wasn't rigged. Of course not. Yeah. 36 counties have 81 million people in there. Yeah. See, that's the truth.

Starting point is 01:14:20 And don't you dare say anything, Gatsarder, you'll be off YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, and all the other ones because we have you know there's such a thing as the truth and facts and we have to stick to it. And you know, it's scary. And that is the truth and nobody died in the Holocaust either. That's the truth. It should happen. Six million Jews should die right now because they cause all the problems in the world. But it never happened. But it never happened. Yeah. Mandated. Well, you're because you're part Jewish, right? Party families Jewish. I'm all Jewish. You're all Jewish. 100% and a lot of Hollywood is Jewish. Yeah. It's like it's like a lot of Hollywood is a Jewish business.

Starting point is 01:15:04 Really? Well, they started Hollywood. Yeah, right But what so was it weird that like rap black people started rap. Yeah, so I went go over there and try to get in rap and go All these black people you know go on Saturday night live like Dave Chappelle I'm just saying a lot of black people are in control of rap right hello and a lot of black people are in control of rap. Right. Hello. Well, you went there. You tried to get in show business, of course it's Jewish.

Starting point is 01:15:30 But, you know, and people should be glad that it's Jewish too, because if Jews were not controlling Hollywood, all you'd have was fucking fishing shows. Yeah. You see what I'm saying? Oh, dude, if you, well, I think that about that, like Jewish people like, they're just good at, or I talk about this in Mac,

Starting point is 01:15:46 there's just a good level of organization that goes on with Jews. You'd have a bunch of white people to shooting each other for patents. I feel like if you didn't have Jews involved. If you didn't have the Jewish lawyers to screw those people out of their patents, think of how bad the world would be.

Starting point is 01:16:04 But if you're part Jewish, do you feel we have that? Now I'm all would be. But did you, if you're part Jewish, did you feel weird that? Now I'm all Jewish. If you're sorry, if you're all Jewish, did you feel weird? My kids are half. Was it weird that Hollywood like went against you then because you're also Jewish? Well, Hollywood Jews don't like Jews. Let's be real.

Starting point is 01:16:19 If Hollywood, I'm a Jew and I got fired from Jewish Hollywood. So what is that saying? That's what, yeah, I'm a Jew and I got fired from Jewish Hollywood. So what is that saying? That's what, yeah, I don't understand that. Because I'm not the right kind of Jew as the Jews in Hollywood. For one thing, I'm a Jew, a Jew. I'm a scary kind. You are?

Starting point is 01:16:38 Yeah, I'm scary. See this here, I. Oh, yeah, that's beautiful. That's a blue eye and I got, oh oh I didn't wear my other blue eye. And what beautiful isn't it beautiful? And what that is is the blue eye is a is a way to ward off other people giving you the evil eye. So it's a protective thing. See? Yeah. Because I believe I believe in those principles that, like, you know, harmonics, vibration and those kind of things, you know, the immutable laws of nature. I don't given my life to a system of bullshit, where the only reward is to own more bullshit

Starting point is 01:17:36 than other people. And unfortunately, there's a lot of Jewish people that adhere to that. And they go where it's easier for them to be an organized crime. Cause Hollywood really isn't an organized crime network. And that's what it is. It's like pimps up, hose down. Hollywood really is an organized crime network. And you know, that's what it is. It's like pimps up, hose down.

Starting point is 01:18:08 That's how I always describe Hollywood. It's like, okay, your agent, Pimp, another word for Pimp, your lawyer, another word for Pimp, and the hose are the talent, and you know, they think that talent is expendable, and they think the people running Hollywood are the Pimp's, and they are. It's just like any other business.

Starting point is 01:18:25 Right. Yeah, that's the thing in the end. It's also just business. It is business which is organized crime. All business is nothing but organized crime. Ain't it? It really is, yeah. So I mean, and maybe the...

Starting point is 01:18:38 Also, the Hollywood got in bed with the CIA and so that was government money given their way to portray certain things for mass media, for mass consumption. And to keep people in line, to keep them like, think in fairy tales instead of looking at the truth, hey, where's my tax money going? So I go, and then Richard Gehr falls in love with the prostitute on Hollywood Boulevard. Don't go down there and actually look at the 12-year-old prostitutes that live on Hollywood Boulevard.

Starting point is 01:19:10 Believe the bullshit lie that the boy always gets the girl in the end, and there's friendly aliens, and anything Spielberg does. It's just for mind control. Mass media is for mind control. And people are being paid and they're happy to take the money to make sure that they keep the population under mind control and quiet. They want docile workers. Yeah. Like in China, docile workers. They didn't have that in America. You know, they had loud people that were pissed, working class people that are pissing going,

Starting point is 01:19:46 I'm going to turn you into this and that, if you don't, this and that. So they brought in all these immigrants. That's what it's for. It's to break the back of the working class labor and pay. So they'll do it for two cents. You want a five dollars. You want a fifteen dollars at minimum wage. So we brought them in, and they'll do it for two. See ya. You want a $5. You want a $15 at minimum wage.

Starting point is 01:20:06 So we brought them in, they'll do it for two. See ya. Yeah. It's just cruel, but that's what business is. That's what business is, really. Yeah, it isn't no love story. Right, even though it's like, and that's the interesting about Hollywood

Starting point is 01:20:21 is that it sells love stories. It sells like, bullshit. Right, so it gets you to believe these things. And maybe at one time it believed in those things. It was, but I do think that over time it is been... It never did, because you have to look at the movies that come out at the specific,

Starting point is 01:20:37 I'm just talking about movies. No, no, okay. Mass me, and TV, but I had my own shit in TV, which that would take five shows to go into the mind control of TV and advertising Which I thought Bill Hicks did better than I could ever do So I just tell people go listen to Bill Hicks talk about if you're in PR just kill yourself. Yeah, I love that you go I'm not kidding

Starting point is 01:21:03 Really kill yourself, But you know, it's mass, mind control. But the movies, when you look at the time frame that a movie comes out, you have to look at the whole political, the whole political geography around it and why it's coming out and what it's saying. But a lot of times it's kind of a fortune telling thing and it's predictive programming it's called because it's telling you what's gonna happen pretty soon especially science fiction. What's gonna happen pretty soon? Because they're in bed with the government and the CIA. Right, because they're in bed at this point with like Because they're in bed with the government in this. Right, because they're in bed at this point with like,

Starting point is 01:21:44 with groups that have more intelligents than the average layman or whatever, the other guy. Yeah. They're like, I'll pretty soon, they're gonna take your picture of the airport. You know, that was science fiction at one time where you have to look into the camera and have your fingerprints.

Starting point is 01:22:02 And you have to in LA, you have to. Yeah, this week the cameras were down when I was flying out and I was like, what's going on the cameras? And they're like, yeah, we're just, we're redoing the system or whatever. But then I'm like, wow, man, once it is heavier, it's just like, why do it starts to feel like, is there any real value just to me being a human anymore?

Starting point is 01:22:20 Yeah, that's the ultimate value. If people could wake up and take that back, and we would talk to each other with respect more. Yeah, that's the ultimate value. If people could wake up and take that back, and we would talk to each other with respect and actually listen, which I don't think people know how to listen to anybody no more. They just want to hear themselves talk. And all of it they're saying is just parroting something they've seen on media. That's a crazy part. We start to just like in the end, a lot of people are just parrots now. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:22:46 It's like there's not even a lot of it. It's people like even like if you look on TikTok or certain apps, there are people like trends. So it's like, hey, just do this. Right. Do this next thing, right? Yeah. And a lot of times it's a song.

Starting point is 01:22:59 It's a piece of a song that's going to come out. So then now you have people like trending to this song. Next you know, the song is out. Then the artist is touring. It's all like part of a formula a lot of times. Yeah. Like the advertising is, they've just locked it up so much at like the algorithm of how to do it.

Starting point is 01:23:15 How to control everybody. But if people would wake up and take back the fact that they are a human being and what a human being, what it is, what's the definition of a human being, and what that is, in my mind anyway, is somebody who feels empathy for another human being or animal or life form, you know, and that's what they tried to strip out of us so that we're just all very fearful and narcissistic and we're afraid of anybody or to talk to them or listen to them. But once we can reclaim that, and I think it's coming

Starting point is 01:23:49 because I think we're gonna have a big crash and a big shutdown and we won't have any choice but to go back to basics. I think it's gonna be really good for us and we're gonna get together and figure out a better way of doing things that it doesn't come from the top down. It comes from the bottom up because all change does in fact come from the bottom up.

Starting point is 01:24:07 And I think we're at that place. You know, where they put us into quarantine, that was the best thing that ever happened to this country, although a lot of people lost their jobs in this. But the greatest thing about it was that it broke the routine, and that's one way to snap out of mind control, is to break your routine and it broke everybody's routine. They had to stay home with their own stink and families who they hate and like actually solve some problems or speak to each other.

Starting point is 01:24:34 So it woke people up to us to what mattered and then they got on the internet and they started looking for answers and that's why they call it the great awakening or I say that's what Q was for quarantine because we all got a lot smarter, we all got a lot healthier, we all got a lot closer during the quarantine and it was the best thing that could have happened to us because anything that these people that are very twisted at the top, anything that they tried to do to us is going to end up working for our benefit as long as we've reclaimed our humanity and our love and our connection for each other. They can't hurt us because they don't even know what the human spirit is. They don't have it.

Starting point is 01:25:19 So when we have it and we raise it in somebody else and then together we like bond and talk and make each other laugh or feel any joy. They can't get at that and it's growing and I see it everywhere. That's where I love coming down here and working the clubs and seeing people laugh. We have such a great jobs because we're doing God's work. We really are. It's like we're putting severed pieces together. Virginia Woolf said that about writers.

Starting point is 01:25:52 That writers put the severed parts together. And that is what we do. Things that you wouldn't think go together. We put together in front of people and they go, by God, that's right. I never saw that. And once you put one puzzle piece together, the next few seem to fall in easier. And I think we're doing building work for grassroots,

Starting point is 01:26:13 and it starts and ends with laughter, because at the end, laughing power to scorn is the way to take it, the fastest way to take it down. And the fastest way to rebuild it is with words that mean something, spoken from one to another, words, mean something. And people understand, not an assault on words like they're doing now, but words that are understandable to each other where we can build common ground with each other

Starting point is 01:26:44 and do better. It can't be, I mean, we can't do worse for fuck's sake. We can do better. So you feel positive, so in the answer, you do feel like you feel hopeful. I do. I feel hopeful knowing that this is weird, because you didn't know Mitzie's sure, did you?

Starting point is 01:27:04 Mm-hmm. Yeah, Mitzie used to get, you know, at the comedy store in LA, this was all the comics, this was like, you know, just all the great comics of my generation before Richard Prior, I'm blank, but you know, all the good ones that I idolized and the ones of of my generation too, that a lot of gum, mitzies would take us in, and we'd all be sitting around talking and drinking and stuff. And everybody would say, the most important place on the planet, the most important thing on the planet is comedy.

Starting point is 01:27:39 It's like, you know, what we think and thought then. The most important thing is comedy. The most important place for comedy was Los Angeles. The most important place for in Los Angeles is the comedy store. This is, you know, we'd say pretty much this is the birthing place of where everything will go out in new thoughts. And this is it, you know, this is the revolution. And I feel that here at Joe's and he honors Mitzies' memory too, you know. And just sitting in the comedy room with other comics

Starting point is 01:28:16 and it's a disparate group, you know, very different cultures and colors and stuff. And just sitting and making fun of something. And you can just feel the consciousness blooming, not being shut down like when you go other places and shit, just it's like the poetry is opening and everybody's rising to the occasion and wants to say something even funny

Starting point is 01:28:40 or something even more powerful, yanking on each other. And I mean, there's nothing better than hanging out with comics and fucking around with words and ideas. It's the greatest thing in the world. That's what I, it's what saves me over and over and over for how bad I've gone through the shit. You know, it's always coming back to comedy. Yeah. Well, it's powerful in my life and all comics lives. And I think to all the fans of comedy, people are real fans of comedy, even if they don't

Starting point is 01:29:17 know they are. Yeah. Like Trump's a funny son of a bitch. Oh, I got to meet him. You did? Yeah. I've met him years ago, but he's funny, and I think that's a lot of why people like him so much. Yeah, he had some, well, yeah, he doesn't get enough credit

Starting point is 01:29:31 for being for a lot of his sense of humor, or just his ability to just like being so, just let shit roll right off of him, you know? Some of the stuff he says is fucking hilarious. I think a lot of my black friends like Trump more now too. Yeah, I have. He's grown with the black community, you know? Oh, yeah, I know so much about that because when I ran for president, I ran as the, uh,

Starting point is 01:29:55 representative of the black caucus of the green party. Damn, you went deep. I did. Black and green. I know black and green and you, but that's how I always was in the 60s was that too, you went deep. I did black and green. I know black and green and you. But that's how I always was in the 60s was that too. And like I say, I never changed. I'm the same as I always was.

Starting point is 01:30:13 As them that changed, they went off the edge, but both sides right and left. But I was in the middle. I love the middle. But so I've always been in that milieu. I always care about that. And so we have the evidence. When I ran, I also sued the state of Georgia

Starting point is 01:30:35 with Cynthia McKinney, who was my campaign manager. And we sued the state of Georgia over its election laws, which are now coming into play in the election right now. They're trying to pretend like they don't cheat. But they say they're going to indict Trump. Well, I hope they do because my lawsuit in Cynthia's, I think it will be part of the case. Yeah. And it will help him win.

Starting point is 01:31:06 Because I went through it when I tried to get on the ballot in Georgia too. And Cynthia was the representative from Georgia and they screwed her with fake voting machines to get her out. Because she asked Cheney where the money was going. They didn't want her out. But anyway, she's a black woman for those who don't know, but she said, she said, of course, she had to go to Bangladesh to get the fuck out of here, you know, to teach college there. But she said the truth.

Starting point is 01:31:34 It was your campaign manager and partner, but she says, the truth of it is that in 2020, Trump won big and he won black. And that's part of why the Dems are all freaked out because they lost control of who they looked at as their servant class. Well, I do think it is kind of this, sometimes it makes me, sometimes it's tough as a white guy to talk, like, if you have any, it's like black people don't wanna hear sometimes a white person talk about black stuff, right? No, of course not. And I don't blame them.

Starting point is 01:32:14 That's all, you know, the voice that they didn't even have a voice for so long. So the echo of the voice from past, it's still fucking in the air. I don't like that they call me white. A lot of Jews don't because while they was in slavery and all that shit, so was we and we just getting our asses buried alive over there in the Ukraine by the same people at, you know, our government is the same people.

Starting point is 01:32:40 But you know, we was getting that happening to us and every place else in Europe. But, so don't include me in that. But I also have North African origins and, cause I did the whole DNA deal, you know. And- Oh, I used to be a real wigger when I was like a kid, you know? So- Everybody, all working class kids are.

Starting point is 01:33:02 Oh, definitely, dude. I mean- It's a class thing not a race thing And that's what they don't want us to know. Yeah, you know, they keep on calling it race race race when it's class And they don't want us to know it because they're all you know working the machine to get money But black people are getting way smarter than that Well, they and faster and not that they haven't always been but I think they're also getting to a level where they can Have their needs met now so they can make choices for themselves so you don't have to make that choice Or you don't have to feel like you have to pander to a politician maybe I don't know if they ever felt like that

Starting point is 01:33:37 I don't know I don't know but I I told Cynthia. I said by God it so you know they We all African-Americans I mean, if things were to ever be straightened out or whatever, we owe them for saving our country by why they're 2020 vote. But nobody knows it yet. But I have faith that we will know what the truth sometimes. So you think that the election was just, it was fake. That I believe Biden got

Starting point is 01:34:06 81 million votes in 36 times. There's 81 million people living within 36 counties. It's the only thing you can believe. It's true. Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. When you look back on running for president, do you think the FBI didn't interfere in 2016 with saying Hillary's innocent, and they didn't interfere in 2020 by saying Biden was Russian shit about the laptop. They did not interfere in any way when Facebook paid for all those voting machines, and all that. That was not interference. But those three Russian ads on Facebook

Starting point is 01:34:46 were interference in 2016 that when they said, remember that huge thing that Trump was working for, remember that whole fucking, for nine months of television. It was three years, honey. It was three years. Oh, was it Jesus Christ? I don't watch enough TV, but it was a lot, yeah. And it was nothing, there was no value to it.

Starting point is 01:35:05 And it'd be nothing, remember that? That's correct, but it's like, yeah, it's like. You know, the dossier said that Trump hired hookers and brought him up to his room and he- I believe that. And peed on him. If you know Trump at all, you know, he's like Howard, he's a he-done-in, and he can barely

Starting point is 01:35:22 get around people. Yeah, he would do it in private. Yeah, actually, you know what? I know some people that would pee on people. I don't think he would, uh, I don't, uh, I don't think he would do it. I don't think he would pee on me. Because he knows, he knows they'd tell. Yeah, oh yeah, you can't pee on somebody without them knowing.

Starting point is 01:35:41 That you have to have their consent. Although a lot of people do get peed on without their consent. People love it. I mean, it sounds. Yeah, I think especially if you're getting made, you like, yeah, I think that's how you can. Can you believe that people pee on each other for sexual pleasure and poop on each other and beat each other's ass and all the crap, all the ridiculous shit people do for their sex pleasures. Good God. Yeah, whatever happened to just fucking just having sex for a few minutes and just having like a TV dinner or whatever.

Starting point is 01:36:11 I know the good things in life, right? Oh, yeah, dude. Oh God, sometimes I just, oh, I don't know, a Southbury steak to me is just as good almost sometimes. My grandma used to live on them in the little plastic packets. Yeah. Every night she'd come home from work and have a Salisbury steak.

Starting point is 01:36:32 God, they were good. They were good. I missed TV dinners were good. They were good. And yet just enough peas that you could deal with. You're like, I fucking hate peas, but I can handle 17 of them. You said 17. That's how many they had in the ones we had. Did you count out? No, we fucking knew what was going on. We knew what was going on by a stud. It was fun. How old

Starting point is 01:36:56 were you when you started doing stand-up? I think probably 24. So you know, I started down in New Orleans. There wasn't really a place there. And then I took a class out in LA when I got there. Judy Carter had a comedy. Oh, yeah. Remember Judy Carter? She probably did comedy together. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:37:12 Very funny. Yes, she was really cool. And she had a assistant that taught us. And it was neat, man. But the cool thing about the class was at the end, you got on stage. You got on stage at the improv. Oh, cool. So you got three minutes.

Starting point is 01:37:24 It was a packed house. And you got your tape. And then you're like, wow, dude, I was on stage at the improv. Oh cool. So you got three minutes. It was a packed house and you got your tape and then you're like, wow dude, I was on stage. And so then you're like, now I can, I seem like a comedian. I have a piece of tape and you just built from there. Did you kill? I did well. I had those jokes about my dad, you know.

Starting point is 01:37:40 I was so ashamed of my dad. I didn't realize it, you know, until I got older, but I just, but he ended up being a source of things that were humorous to me. Just to re-do my dad, like we go through a drive-thru and he could never hear the lady who was fucking, it was always a fucking, not everything was a nightmare.

Starting point is 01:38:00 He drove this cutlass like an old Delta 8080 brought from some brothers that lived around the corner and so it had these speakers in it right and so he couldn't even fucking here So he'd be driving around his list and like Paul Harvey, right and Like on Rush Limbaugh or something end of with bass You know like nobody just had like the crop report was coming across the fucking you know like the fucking pork futures and they're just talking about side with bass coming out of you have 70% chance to ring and he was like you couldn't hear anything dude one time my dad

Starting point is 01:38:41 he would make a stand on the front seat when he would drive because he had it He would tell him what to do right and so I was like fuck. I don't know What do you mean you had to tell him what to do like if the lights were red or green? Oh my god, he couldn't move his neck. Oh my god Yeah, so it was like it was a team dude when we hit the road It was a fucking team dude. We were in it together. You gotta go dad the light screen, you can go. Yes, or dad the lights ready, like, what do I do, dammit!

Starting point is 01:39:09 Right, you just fucking lose it. It's like Mr. McGoo. Oh, you probably could not handle it, bro. And he just had that, he had that limited neck on him, you know? And so I'd be over in the passenger seat just like, you know, almost like the captain of a ship, you know, like, onward, you know, what if I can, roo-roo-roo-roo.

Starting point is 01:39:27 And one time, where was your mom? I don't know. I should probably work and she was like traveling somewhere. I mean, she'd go to, you know, if she'd go work sometimes on other sales jobs and I don't know where she was, driving, selling something.

Starting point is 01:39:43 And one time my dad, like a big crow, came in the window and broke out some of the back windows with his beak. And so I'm trying to tell my dad, I'm like, Dad, there's a black bird in here. And he thought it was a black guy, right? Like he was pretty right. I don't know if he was racist,

Starting point is 01:40:00 but he was just like an old guy in 1990. You know what I'm saying? So he had black friends, but he also like like an old guy in 1990. You know what I'm saying? So he had black friends, but he also like would say shit that was just something this older person would say. So he just starts, he just starts yelling the inword, right? Oh my God. And he thinks it's a person.

Starting point is 01:40:18 He thinks it's a black guy breaking out the windows in the back of the car. But I said, it's a black bird, right? I just, I'm not gid, he's just not paying it or something and he's like, I'm at, he's just yelling at the shit using all these exploits, bro. Oh my God, that's insane.

Starting point is 01:40:35 So it was just insanity. I didn't realize it at the time, but it makes your mind like, you know, you have this weird love, like this weird reality starts to form, you know. Yeah, it's out of the norm. Yes, it's out of the norm. It gets, it's expansive, huh?

Starting point is 01:40:54 It's like reality expands. Yes. Way past. Reality expands, it's possible. Yeah. And it should be this safe, comfortable thing that a child can operate in, And you know, and this. Yeah, you're not worried for your life.

Starting point is 01:41:07 Yeah, you're not worried for somebody else. You're not on the edge. You're not on the edge. You're not directing traffic at fucking six. You know, you're not like. I used to, that's crazy that you said that because my hobby when I was a kid, I was always crazy. Born nuts.

Starting point is 01:41:23 Fucking A. I don't know why. But like I was three years old, my mom says, and I would run out of the house and write into traffic and start directing traffic. We lived by a big old, I guess it was a four lane street then. You start directing traffic. Yeah. I was only three.

Starting point is 01:41:44 And my mom said they'd look and I wouldn't be in the house so they'd go down to the corner. And there I was just standing in the street and going like this to the car, like this. And they'd be honking and shit. And yeah, and they'd go get me and beat my ass and drag me home. You're not to go in the street. And I remember to you are not to go in the street. We've told you so many times. You know, as soon as I could get out again,

Starting point is 01:42:14 as I saw, I'd always be watching too when that little hook on the screen door wasn't on. They'd always put it on, you know, but sometimes if I kicked it and fly up and you can get out and I run back down, they're running the street and just go like this. One hand. And then cut to, I'm 15, I did hit by a car. So that was my total car, my car, my car, my return there. But uh, yeah, I used to love to walk down streets and fucking put myself in the craziest shit. Yeah, putting yourself into something, man. Putting yourself into some chaos. Not thinking that chaos was chaos, that was a fun.

Starting point is 01:42:55 Like to you, something goes crazy. It's kind of a normal, like this is when it's getting exciting. Yeah, I just love to affect things or something. Yes, I wanna have an effect somehow on what's going on. I don't want somebody choosing how I'm a how I affect things. I want to affect things, how I want to affect things. I thought I think that I think that I was really crazy and thought I had some superpowers or something. You know, like a lot of little kids will think that. I think that I thought I had the power to stop traffic. And I did. Number's gonna run me over

Starting point is 01:43:32 there. It was gonna hit three year old. It's a good thing your fucking dad wasn't driving down the street. He would have run me over. You wouldn't have been able to see me because I was being hit the hood there. Just see two big tails. I don't know what hood. When you look back on like your Hollywood career, do you miss it kind of? Are you okay with it? I mean, I don't know if you get out of any bigger

Starting point is 01:43:54 of a career really, huh? I don't think so. I've had 44 million people a week watching my show, but there was only three channels or something. And then coming back to 28 million, I think I've done it. You know, I don't miss, I don't miss the process of being around people that don't respect me. You know, that's hard.

Starting point is 01:44:17 It takes a wear and tear on you. Well, it changed so much. People, you know, it's why people had to start podcasts. It's why people had to start making their own things because creativity it wasn't even respected. Like I went to Hollywood, I think part of me wanted to have my own voice from where I was from. I wanted to tell stories about where I was from and like share things

Starting point is 01:44:37 that I thought were interesting. And then you get there and they're like, you know, you should probably take an accent class so you don't have your accent. I should do the, you know, and it was just like, fuck man, I didn't, I felt of no value. And then that's when like the things started getting like politically kind of divided. And then just because I was from Louisiana

Starting point is 01:44:59 and have semblance of a Southern accent that people immediately just pigeonhole you. You know, we don't even have a use for you. Like, I don't of a Southern accent that people immediately just pigeonhole you. You know, we don't even have a use for you. Like, I don't know a Southern character that they've had on television in so long. Like, so how do you ex, like, and not that they have to have a Southern character, but you think that they would,

Starting point is 01:45:19 but they don't, you think that they would appreciate talent and want to nurture the lung. Like, if I was a president of a network, that's what I would do. Oh, dude. That's what Mitzie did. She nurtured all of us long and we all looked and acted different

Starting point is 01:45:31 from different places. That's what you do if you like talent, but they don't. They don't like none of us. Well, they like the algorithm now. They like whatever is easiest. How do we get this shot to be the shortest? Even when you're watching films

Starting point is 01:45:43 and television, you notice it now. Like, you take it,, like you take it, got like John Ritter, right? No, you know who, you know who that man, do you ever get to meet him? Yeah, he was a very nice man. Really? Very nice.

Starting point is 01:45:53 Wow. That around me, I don't know. His son was super nice, I met his son, his son is so kind. But he was like a, you could watch him. Yeah. And they give him wide shots and they let him behave and you got to see somebody express themselves.

Starting point is 01:46:10 Now, everything's a lot more like we get this, we get this, it's all just like in the writing, it's, I don't know. Yeah, they don't like talent, they don't like originality, they. No, SNLs, there's no care, there's no people that have so many insane talents anymore. There's a couple of impersonators.

Starting point is 01:46:27 It's a lot of it's in the writing. They don't push any boundary. It's, I don't know. But I think that's why other things have started. That's why you have people even starting their own comedy clubs in other places, you know? Yeah, because you push something down, it goes someplace else.

Starting point is 01:46:46 So that's why this place is exciting, and I think maybe this lights up the whole place where people can actually start doing great comedy again, because it was like kind of dead for a long time, like rock and roll, you know? Yeah. Just kind of all over and over and country music too, over and over, even rap, stale, and then all of a sudden the fuse gets lit and a whole bunch of new creative things happen. So I hope that's happening.

Starting point is 01:47:16 We do, right. Yeah, I hope that's happening with comedy. When I watch these young people, I think that. Yeah. Oh, that's new. I haven't seen that. I haven't seen a guy do that,. I haven't seen a guy do that, or I haven't seen a woman do that before.

Starting point is 01:47:28 And it's exciting to see it. I'm excited. We need some new, we need some more, I don't wanna say new, I don't know a ton of female comedians. I know some, you know. I haven't been in the clubs as much recently, so that's where you kind of meet up more up-and-coming comedians.

Starting point is 01:47:43 But I would like to see more Mexican comedians. That's something I don't think I see enough of sometimes or maybe I'm not familiar enough. There's a lot of Hispanic comedians I've seen. They're very funny. I really am like in the Middle Eastern comedians too. There's a lot of them out there. Yeah, we got a guy this week, a son that's opening up for us that works here. He's funny.

Starting point is 01:48:03 He is funny. That's a new voice that we haven't heard a lot of. It's good. Yeah, it is good. Well, you know, and I think it's, yeah, and you just have to let people be funny. You have to let people take their risk. You know, we put, you start to limit people's words or they said this or they, you just, you're killing everything.

Starting point is 01:48:22 But I agree, there's a part of us in humans that wants to That wants to get out, you know, and I think it will. I think it'll find its way out, you know I'll believe that I think we have to believe that we do have to believe it and especially as comedians We have to believe that you know, it's like Because yeah, I think people look to us for like how can we say this somebody has to say this? Yeah There's a lot of it. There's a lot of that people going it. Somebody say this, we can't say this.

Starting point is 01:48:50 That's what I feel a lot of times. I'm like, how do I say? I think that all the time. How, how am I going to, where are the words, where are the words I got to get the words, you know, get the right words in the right order with the right rhythm. And it's so hard, but it's like, you know, you're on that

Starting point is 01:49:07 simmer, like on the stove, simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer, simmer. I don't know for how long, months, sometimes. And then you're just sitting there, sometimes cutting up a carrot and it's like, ping, the words come. Oh, it's such a great feeling. Isn't it? Yeah. It's like, and it comes with a lighter charge.

Starting point is 01:49:26 Yeah. And you know, and especially the good, the neat thing about having done comedy for a while, and I'm not saying you become like a savant or that you are a know-it-all, but you start to know your own voice and your brain knows what will work on stage. And you can get it off stage and be like,

Starting point is 01:49:41 that's what it is. Yeah. You don't even have to really try, you have to try it a few times to make sure and get it right, but you can pick it off stage and be like, that's what it is. Yeah. You don't even have to really try, you have to try it a few times to make sure and get it right, but you can pick it up, you can learn it off stage and like, that's it. Did you ever go on a nice honeymoon whenever you were younger?

Starting point is 01:49:54 You mean on my marriages? Yeah. Yeah. The first time I got married to Jake's dad, we went to the justes of the piece and then we went to target for our honeymoon. We had 36 bucks we could spend. So we bought a garbage can and a case of beer and I bought a pair of white shoes. And then we went home and we were really poor living in the mountains of Colorado and all

Starting point is 01:50:25 our friends had gifted us canned goods for our wedding present. And so we just stayed with our friends like smoking a ton of pot and singing a lot of musicians and singing and playing music and that was our honeymoon. We camped out in tents and that was a good honeymoon. That's cool. That was real, happy, dippy honeymoon. And then second, who died married. Oh, Tom Arnold.

Starting point is 01:50:52 And that was the honeymoon from how, oh my God, I should talk about that honeymoon. Yes, that's a lot. Tell me about a bed shoes. Where's my fucking sags? Oh, I put them on. Oh, that honeymoon. I didn't want to get married. As we was saying our vows, I was crying in the closet. Like, oh my God, how do I get out of this?

Starting point is 01:51:14 But I don't want him to send me crying because he's sensitive. He'd beat me up. So I was. And so we got married and oh my God what a nightmare. So that was a fucking nightmare. I haven't even talked about it. Did y'all go on a honeymoon now? Yes. We went to Mexico. Oh God huh? Yeah. Okay. As always happen with with him Some hotel down there that had private swimming pools because I'm like I got to have a private swimming pool So I can swim cuz I I'm not gonna let nobody get a picture me in my bathing suit because I was real a fat and so was he So we got it. Oh, we got a hotel had a Occupal co Yeah, is it fun? If you're fat and you hug somebody else, it's fat.

Starting point is 01:52:07 It must be awesome. Oh, yeah. There's a lot of cushion. That's cool, man. Plus, it's nice to have another fat person who love you because everyone's so mean to fat people. And here we were, like two big fat people, telling each other that oh you

Starting point is 01:52:25 look so great and you know we we were complimentary to each other for the most part with some dark shit going in we beat the fuck out of each other you know which was fun. But yeah I mean look at first. Oh yeah especially when I got to get beaten every now and then. When I got to hit him, it was fun. Oh, yeah. But if he hit me back, it wasn't fun, you know. But anyways, there was a lot of ugliness to it. But anyway, so there we were down there and I'm in the pool and I look up and it's ringed

Starting point is 01:53:04 by photographers all the way around our room. But the best part is we were in our room. We had an order room service and the front desk called and he answered the phone and they said, this is the front desk and your neighbors are complaining that you're eating too loud. We ordered about 700 main dishes in there. We were just eating up the storm, Hawaiian con dishes, and the neighbors complained at our, and he was on the phone. I remember him going, eating too loud. Yeah, your neighbors can hear you eating. They went out in the pool and it was ringed by paparazzi's. So they always interfered and roamed everything, but it was fun.

Starting point is 01:53:54 The eating a bunch and swimming with them, paparazzi, was really fun. Honeymoon, till they showed up. And then I found out he told them where we were going to be. He just really... um, whatever. Could you have his own way, maybe? Yeah, he couldn't get out of his own way. I hear he's out of his own way. Now, I hope that's true.

Starting point is 01:54:13 Tom, we don't talk no more. But anyways, then my third husband, banned his name is, I have a kid with him, Buck. He's 27 years, just like his dad. Yeah, where'd we go on a honeymoon? Oh, we didn't go on a honeymoon because I was pregnant.

Starting point is 01:54:32 We, we, yeah, we just stayed home, I guess. No, I guess I never really except for that Mexico one. Never did a real, real, anything you're supposed to do in a deal. I'd love to go on a honeymoon with no husband. I'll tell you where that would be a great deal. Just go by myself, you know, by myself, a couple, you know, bodyguards or what have you securities.

Starting point is 01:55:01 Do whatever the hell I want, pamper myself, look at art. I did have a three-month vacation and I saved up all my money when I got a divorce off-time Arnold. I did go to Europe for three months by myself. It was so nice. And I went and looked at art and traveled all over. Eight, everything I could get my hands on. That was like my own honeymoon. A divorce celebration. That was fun. And you lived in Hawaii for a long time,

Starting point is 01:55:31 which is kind of like- Yeah, 15 years I've lived there. Maybe 18 years now, and I still live there. Park time there, and Texas here. Hawaii's like a honeymoon every day. Oh, it's gorgeous. I just got back from Maui last week. I hate Maui. Yeah. That's where everybody honeymoon every day. Oh, it's gorgeous. I just got back from Maui like last week. I hate Maui

Starting point is 01:55:46 Yeah, that's where everybody goes. Yeah, it's crowded If yeah, I could imagine it if yeah, if you're like a if you know more about Hawaii, I can imagine it's crowded. It's it Yeah, I went it I guess it is a lot of folks over there. It takes too long to drive everywhere and stuff I hate the traffic my island is the big island, and it's got the least amount of people in the most amount of land. So how you can drive drunk and all fucked up, now I'm kidding.

Starting point is 01:56:12 But nobody's around, nobody, and it's beautiful and quiet, you know, it's wonderful. Oh, that's what I, the one reason I go there on my vacation was, because it goes to people go to bed early there. Like at nine o'clock, I'm asleep. Do you sleep good there? Pretty good.

Starting point is 01:56:32 Yeah. It's one thing about Hawaii, everybody sleeps good there. And the best part is I wake up in the middle of the night and it's only 11.30. Yeah, I do that still. And you're like, this is awesome. Get up and eat another meal. Yeah, I will have a little fucking smoothie so does, you know.

Starting point is 01:56:47 I don't tell anybody. I mean, it's just me anyway, but I still don't tell myself. I'll just try to have it number 10. I don't. You should come over and visit me on the big island. Dude, I'd love to do that. Come, let me know. And if I'm there, you'll come over and I'll show you all my nut trees

Starting point is 01:57:02 and my sheep's and goats and all the run with pigs, but I got a beautiful place. Good for you. That was a great choice. What calls you to make that choice to move there to get that? Well, my younger son, now there's 27, and I can say he couldn't get along in school. I home schooled him and all stuff, which I'm going to talk about on my podcast.

Starting point is 01:57:22 I think people should pull their kids out of school and home school. So I did that for a few years, and then he went back to high school which I'm going to talk about on my podcast. I think people should pull their kids out of school and homeschool them. So I did that for a few years, and then he went back to high school, and they had a high school there for kids with learning disabilities, and so that's why we moved there. Oh, nice.

Starting point is 01:57:35 For high school. Yeah, a lot of Filipinos over there. And a lot of... I love Filipino food. Oh my God, I love their food. The people are awesome. They are amazing people. They're all like Winnie the Poohs kind of a little bit.

Starting point is 01:57:51 They have like a little bit of joy in them. They do have joy in them. They love their families. Yeah. And they, I just love their food. But they're always laughing and happy. And you know, even in tough times they pull together and they're Jewish. in tough times they're they pull together in their their Jewish I always say

Starting point is 01:58:07 They're so Jewish yeah, is that a lot of Jewish stuff? Well, they're just like Jews is that they're just so family, you know, yeah, Jews are family up Yeah, we're family up at the interesting. Yeah, we hate each other, but we still stick together Yeah, do what I love I love talking with like Brian Dorfman and some of the other, he and I love telling Jewish jokes to each other. I love Jewish jokes. Oh, dude.

Starting point is 01:58:34 I'm trying to write some now. I got a hold of dice. Because I said, you got to help me write some Jewish jokes. Because I'm from Salt Lake City. So I wasn't even raised in a Jewish culture beyond my own family. And my own family is so weird that there's no way to find anything in common with other Jewish people.

Starting point is 01:58:51 Like my family thought it was okay to marry your cousins and relatives and stuff like that, probably from where you're from that's okay too, right? A little more nori, yeah, it's not insane. Yeah. But like the first thing when my mom said she fixed me over the Jewish God, my first question, and I thought, this might be odd, and I've asked it on stage. I said, are we related to him? That was my first question. So I don't know if other people. But there's incest in the Jewish community too, right? Oh, everyone's married to their cousin in my family.

Starting point is 01:59:21 See, that's the interesting thing. That's why that's one thing that's interesting about kind of like Southern culture and Jewish culture. Yeah. Is that an incest thing? Yeah, it's very interesting and very odd. Yeah, it's kind of crazy. You don't know. My mom, she had a boyfriend and she goes, his name was Arnie Leibowitz, who I loved. He passed on.

Starting point is 01:59:40 He was his last words. I was there for his death and his last words, the greatest last words anyone ever said he turned around and he goes who's idea was this isn't that great yeah he has 92 who's idea was this but uh my mom said we found out that we're from the same village in Lithuania and we might even be related and she was all happy about it. I'm like, you're over there with three eyes. I'm like, mom, that's not in the modern world, that's not, you know, most people that's a no-no. Yeah.

Starting point is 02:00:19 Yeah, people frown upon that, but there's something also that's... Well, for small villages and stuff. You have a choice. Yeah Your second cousin is better than your first cousin. Oh, yeah Well second cousin is legal in a lot of states. Yeah, you know first cousin and they really some people Don't see it the way other people see it. I think that's a lot of why Jews are fucked up because they're so in a married I could easily see that when I grew up I like, I can't wait to get out of here. I'm gonna marry every fucking Gentile I meet

Starting point is 02:00:48 and have kids with them and I improve the gene pool here. Because we have enough accountants and shit. Yeah. We gotta have something else. Yeah, something new, huh? Yeah. Something new-ish. I have a lot of friends that are married in Jewish and Christian,

Starting point is 02:01:03 like they're like Judeo-Christian in homes. And they have some really awesome families I find a lot of friends are that are married in Jewish and Christian, like they're like Judeo-Christian homes. And they have some really awesome families I find a lot of times. It's just what I've seen, you know? But having some good mix of things is interesting. It is, but the world's going that way. Oh, we're all gonna be beige in a couple of years. We're all beige now. Everybody's all mixed and pretty much.

Starting point is 02:01:23 I mean, that's what it's called. Oh, you can't even use a racial slur anymore and get it to land accurately. No, you can't. Like I used to have a thing about these Arabs and they're and I mixed them all up. Like I'd say, be neat and Arabs or something like that to mix it all up because we're all mixed. Oh, it's just a few of us. Oh, you have to have a chart to be racist now. You have to have a, yeah.

Starting point is 02:01:46 You got to carry the one, you know what I'm saying? It's like you got to use a decimal. I just hate everyone equally. Oh, dude, I get, when I'm by lot of times, I'll just do all the racial, just to get them out of my system. Yeah, especially when you're driving. That's where it's time for racism.

Starting point is 02:02:01 Plus I do, it is, I get, oh, I swear, sometimes it makes my car go a little bit faster. It does, it improves your gas mileage, for sure it helps. There's something about that. My sister's completely racist on Asian drivers because she lives up in San Francisco.

Starting point is 02:02:18 Oh, I can't imagine. Yeah, so she's all that. Oh, there are always in a white minivan. She has to go up. Yeah. Well, that's always in a white minivan. She has good luck. Yeah. Well, that's another thing we started missing. You used to be able to laugh at like, you used to trust a comedian enough.

Starting point is 02:02:32 Yeah. That you knew that they knew what was going on. They were making humor. Yeah. Now they've pitted an odd, they've pitted people against comedians in a way that they're like, oh, the comedian's just saying something to be mean. Yeah, but it always used to bring it around to where, hey, we all laughed at each other

Starting point is 02:02:52 and ourselves and now we can love each other. Member Don Rickles, they would kill him. Now, and Lisa, oh, I can't remember her. Rambanelli? Yeah, member hers, it was so great because everybody was laughing at everybody and themselves. That's a healing thing. Yeah. Well, she, a lot of people accused her,

Starting point is 02:03:11 I think of like a cultural appropriate. Like she was like thicker, I think, you know, she lost a lot of weight. Yeah. And I think there were like black women, like thicker black women or something accused her of like trying to take their body style or something. I remember like, there's so much weird stuff out there.

Starting point is 02:03:25 Everybody just hates each other. And that's why I say in my act, that's our only hope is our hatred for each other. When we harness that and get square behind it and realize we all that hate that we have for each other, if we would just channel that to the hatred of the people at the top and not each other because it's not each other we hate, we're both scrambling for beans. Come on people. Hate, focus your hate at the top. All that hate you have for your black neighbor,

Starting point is 02:03:57 your Mexican neighbor, just can heal it or your white neighbor. Can heal it and focus it upward and we're going to have Valhalla. That's true, that's what we need. We do need an uprising of people. We need an uprising of people to fucking stand up for themselves and stand up for their families and stand up for what they really feel inside of themselves means something.

Starting point is 02:04:18 Yeah, you want your kids to be able to go out and you don't wanna worry about other people's kids hurting them. People want to live in safety. To safety. And they want to have decent communities with decent jobs and decent medical care. What's so fucking hard about that? You don't need two parties blaming each other.

Starting point is 02:04:37 It's just gridlock on purpose. So they know it to fix nothing. But we could fix it. If the American people would just reach across that cultural or that racial line and get with each other. We could get what we need and what we want. We could. But as long as they're dividing us and conquering us, we ain't going to do it. So let's use, let's start telling racial jokes again. Hey, man, I'm working on it. I am too, but I'm already a racist. They've already labeled me that. So I'm like, well, since I'm there, it. I am too, but I'm already a racist. They've already labeled me that so I'm like well since I'm there

Starting point is 02:05:06 Let me tell you what really bugged me. Yeah, I'm gonna tell you what really I love it And people love that shit too, man like I have black friends that love like as long as you are respectful and smart about stuff And you're not just being mean. Yeah, they can tell if you've been around black people. Oh, yeah, that's the first thing too, man. When... I have a, you know, I call him my son, but he's black, you know. Oh, yeah, I met him. What is his name again? EJ.

Starting point is 02:05:36 EJ, yeah, I met him. You say Major's Bach and they kind of got raised together because I'm good friends with his parents and were tight. And, you know, when they call me a racist, I was most worried about him because he had to go with that in his community and hear it about me. And I was so sorry for him. And so we talked about it.

Starting point is 02:06:04 And I said, I can't remember what I said to him, but he said to me, Oh, everybody knows the crazy shit you say, you know, that's what that was his, you know, comforting me. Everybody knows all the crazy shit you say, you'll find your way out of it. But that's where that had to make you feel pretty good then, just to have some support. Everybody who called me was black. But that's where that had to make you feel pretty good then just to have some support Everybody who called me was black Yeah, it was funny and I go white. Can you say that in public? Hell no

Starting point is 02:06:33 Hell no, I know We need more black people need to speak up in some ways more. I think you know well Monique did Monique's woke up For me two black people which I just um That was brave of her and I always have her back to, we were like sisters in comedy, you know. But yeah, more people got to be sisters and brothers in something across racial lines here in America before, you know, they're just going to take us all away one at a time. That's what they Yeah. That's what they want to do. It's like they don't like black people. They don't like gay people.

Starting point is 02:07:10 That's be real about the people at the top. They don't like none of us, just that they're using people and pretend they're on your side. They're not. No, they don't have a care. They don't have a dog in the fight besides like a bottom line. Like Pelosi's district, where she talking about Trump's erases and all this shit.

Starting point is 02:07:29 My son went to school in San Fran. It was all black people on the streets. That's who lost their homes in the Obama bubble of 2008. It was the black working in middle class. And then they're called Trump for racist when they have institutionalized racism by this bubble they invented. And these fake mortgages that they gave people, they did that on purpose.

Starting point is 02:07:52 That's institutionalized. And then they're going to further try to fuck with people and get them to hate on each other and fight. So they don't have to do it. No, we have to figure it out. People need to figure it out. They need to figure it out and teach their children. They need to, I think people are though. I think people want to, you know, I think you can do. All they got to do is know it's not a race war. It's a class war. Everything is a class war. The people with the money are, you know, putting their wagons in the

Starting point is 02:08:25 circle and stealing everything that ain't locked down, taking the public money and putting into private pockets. That's a class war. Oh, 100%. Well, and that's all there is. That's all there is until we go, hey, you can't have our money anymore. It's like time for another declaration of independence about this oppressive government that's no different from the government of King George that we broke away from years ago. What's wrong with me when I see anybody that's speaking against the status quo of whatever the status quo is supposed to be for their gender, ethnicity, creed, whatever it's, but when you see someone that's kind of trying to find a way

Starting point is 02:09:06 against that, those are the people you have to look at and see, well, what are they saying? It doesn't mean they're right, but they're not, their perspective is at least enough to be able to see a broader picture, you know? Sometimes. So you gotta look at like in America with this class war and how they disguise it Like all the leaders the only ways they can get ahead is by betraying their own people and they get rewarded for it like you know

Starting point is 02:09:35 black leaders to You know use their own people for their self Enrichment just like our Congress does for themselves. It's us against you. And Jewish leaders promoting anti-Jewish ideas on campus and stuff. People betraying their own people to be leaders of their own people and getting rich for it. That's how it works. Yeah. You're not going to see nobody that goes, you need to fix Chicago right now, Mr. Mayor. You need to allocate these funds to updo these black people's

Starting point is 02:10:19 homes, communities, and schools, and roads, and hospitals. You won't see him doing that in Marxist Chicago. That's the last thing Marxists ever do is address any problem. It's all a yank. All they want there in Chicago is to get at the retirement funds of the working class. And they are ripping them blind.

Starting point is 02:10:38 And they're going for social security next, too. Blaming it on Republicans. But they all both blame each other. And they're both fist in the money. Yeah. And we're just nothing but pray, particularly working people is nothing but pray. Well, a lot of times you're a working person, you're just in the distance, you don't even have to, like you're just trying to survive and get by, you know.

Starting point is 02:10:58 And where's your representation in Congress? Nobody. Nobody. They're getting your money to the Ukraine. They're talking about the working people or nothing. I'm amazed that in a place like Chicago where there's a lot of crime in some specific areas. In some areas of Chicago are great. You don't want to give the whole city a bad rap.

Starting point is 02:11:17 No, I'm just talking about the inner city where people are suffering every day. New Orleans is the same way. New Orleans is one of the most dangerous cities in the world. It was just like one of the 30 most dangerous cities in the world, I believe. Can you look that up, Zach, too, to some right on that or wrong on that?

Starting point is 02:11:35 And I grew up, right, I wasn't fine. It was always a little edgy, but it's like you have, and a lot of you have a lot of like, impoverished black people killing each other. And it's sad, and it's weird if I say that, that people are like, oh, he says that because he's against black people.

Starting point is 02:11:50 I had two of my good friends growing up that were black that both died, right? They got killed by other young black men. And it's fucking like crazy. Like, I don't know how to help stop that. Like, I don't know, I don't that like I don't know I don't think enough about black culture as to why they do why that's even going on but it's like I wish there were more insight from like black leaders and stuff I don't

Starting point is 02:12:14 know I don't know that's just they don't address it because it's going the way the owners want it to go yeah it feels like people address something enough to get what they need out of it. That's exactly right. They aren't concerned. I mean, they're just taking the buyoffs. And it's so funny. It's like some people say, well, you can't really get in any power

Starting point is 02:12:36 here unless you're blackmailed. And they know you're going to do what they want you to do. Oh, that's a dark arts day. Yeah, I think that that's true. So. what they want you to do. No, that's a dark arts day. Yeah, I think that that's true. You don't get in any office by getting elected. You get selected by your donors. And you know, they do what they have to do to put you in there to make them richer. And you bullshit the public, so they'll be pacified.

Starting point is 02:13:01 But the public doesn't even care that they don't or seemingly doesn't care, or is too afraid to go, you're not representing the people who sent you there. Yeah. Because I know when I was in Hawaii, Soros was pouring money into Hawaii for Monsanto. Oh yeah, we used to use it. Yeah, everyone used Roundup. Oh God, we'd use it. Yeah. Fuck, we'd spray each other with it, I remember. We hit my sister with a fucking hot batch of it.

Starting point is 02:13:32 But I mean, that's who owns the government. And she's in recovery. She's, I don't even know, I don't know, so I've ever recovered from that, but she's in recovery for other stuff. But you know, yeah, yeah. Oh, then you start to see, yeah, these bigger groups are starting to like.

Starting point is 02:13:43 He made, I said, by God, what he's doing, he's outlying local government. So that they are more beholden to international corporations in the county they live in. Oh, it's crazy. Well, it's the same with like that with dope sick, that TV show with the pill opioid epidemic. It was like, you know, you have like these big pharmaceutical companies that people leave

Starting point is 02:14:09 there and then go to work in the FDA, right? It's just like, so there's just so much, I don't know, I think in the end, it's like, why do people just want only for themselves? Like, and at a certain point, I can understand you want to survive. You want to get to a level where you're, okay, you can feed yourself. But then sometimes, does this other level agree that I guess I just don't, I don't understand.

Starting point is 02:14:33 I don't understand how you could want to be so greedy at a level where other people aren't even having a, you know that some effect you're causing or a part of causing is limiting people's ability to even have a life with some peace and excitement in it and real hope, you know. I know that's how I say, worry about other people's kids when your kids go out. Yeah. That has to be part of your circle of concern too. If you want your kids to truly be safe. Yeah, and it used to be different,

Starting point is 02:15:09 I don't know if I romanticized the past sometimes too, but we all do. Yeah. But you know, there's two, like the human beings, we have a desire to receive. You know, that's part of our ego and our makeup and everything and you know We want that gratified of course, but there's another thing is like the desire to receive in order to share which is a

Starting point is 02:15:37 Way better way to deal with that selfish thing that we have deal with that selfish thing that we have. I don't know. Probably the spirit of whom. Probably Christ smells my breath after smoking a lot. But, no, I think yeah. You know, to receive something, be able to share. That's feels so much better than anything else on Earth. That is one thing I learned by getting rich, because I was really poor, you know. Now when I got really rich,

Starting point is 02:16:08 it was such a turn on to help people. I can't tell you, it was one, and it was just better than anything. It's the kind of thing that... It was like a moment that stood out to you. We're just you were able to be like, just part of the conduit of help, you know, because that's all money is like energy kind of you know.

Starting point is 02:16:32 Yeah, well there was few of them, but the biggest serials I ever got for my own pleasures, as I tell people who know me is, come up with lawsuits. Oh God, I loved it. And then bankroll on them, you know, and then winning them. That was something that was great about having money. Like what does it mean like thinking up and I'll wait a suit somebody?

Starting point is 02:16:59 Yeah, a suit the government, yeah, to suit the government or some nefarious bunch sitting there getting all bitter and thinking thinking, going deep and go, ah-ha. And I did sue, you know, I sued in one against some tabloids. Oh, yes. That was fun. And then sued Georgia and one. And a whole bunch of shit like that that I thought, well,

Starting point is 02:17:26 you know, it's good. I'd still like to continue to sue, sue, sue and pay for lawsuits. I love it. I mean, it fits in a good call, if it's a good deal. Yeah, like I'd love to sue every motherfucker that called me a racist and I keep on waiting for something to happen where, you know, guilty people who broke the law get arrested. And when they do, that'll be my proof. And then I'm gonna sue.

Starting point is 02:17:52 I already got like 10 lawsuits in my head for how I'm gonna sue. The news, the network, these and that, you know. They all deserve it. They do. And I have. I have any justification. That's one of the things about life that gets tough sometimes and I think it's a good conversation

Starting point is 02:18:07 I think it's inspiring for people to hear I Think it's inspiring for people to hear that there are people that think like There's some pressures in the world that feel uncomfortable. We don't know exactly what they are sometimes, right? But we're trying to navigate with our little brains and what they are sometimes, right? But we're trying to navigate with our little brains and our perspectives haven't had unique lives that have made us hyper aware sometimes of things. And it's been a struggle a lot,

Starting point is 02:18:33 but there's some value in it to think, well, what's going on? Why are we starting to feel this way as a society? What things are we seeing? Is it some that I'm just getting older? And I have like, you know, I think sometimes I'm just getting older and I have like, you know, I think sometimes I'm just getting older and I'm like, starting to become one of those older people,

Starting point is 02:18:49 you know, that's like, oh, this is wrong and this is wrong. Or does it seem like there's really other bigger shit that's going on, you know? And just evaluating all that. Well, that's just part of growing older. Yeah. You know, you just settle into like a certain knowing and being able to identify things because

Starting point is 02:19:09 you've seen them so many times. You can sense where things are going because they can only go one of about three or four ways. So you can see where things are going right at the inception. You can sort of see where things are going right at the inception. So you kind of have the desire to go over there and kick it to the left or the right so it grows straight. Yeah, you get that foresight over time. Yeah. Do you think what's been one of the neatest things about being like a parent and a grandparent? That kind of surprised you.

Starting point is 02:19:55 Well, being a parent is wonderful when your kids turn out to be good members of society and they have a conscience and they're good people. And then when they're good parents, that's the best part of being a parent is to see your own children become good parents. Because then you know, oh, I did a good job, you know, and thank you God for keeping it on the map for me despite all the shit I did. And so that's good, you know, when you're in your last quarter or whatever I'm in. But the grandparent thing, that's just pure fun.

Starting point is 02:20:27 You get to be a kid again, you get to do all kind of fun stuff. Like I live with my son and his partner and their two-year-old daughter who she looks just like me and she acts just like me. And my son says, what kind of karma is this when you're raising your own mother? But so teaching her, just hanging out with her is a blast like she likes to wear lipstick. So we put on lipstick every day and do our hair and stuff like that.

Starting point is 02:20:56 And then she likes me a lot. And anything I do, she wants to do it with me. And she's just learning to talk and stuff. And so she says, let's smoke. Cassie likes to go out on the porch with me while I smoke because I let her play in the water. But you know, that she says let's smoke is so cool. And yeah, that's awesome. She's just fun.

Starting point is 02:21:19 It's just fun getting to be a kid again. Like I'll chase her around the house and sing stupid songs and you know hide and seek and jumping and having fun like a kid before he had any cares you get to redo that when you're a grandparent that's the most fun your second or third childhood in my case it's probably my fourth but it's so fun, you know? Yeah, I bet. Watching cartoons with her.

Starting point is 02:21:47 Yeah. Yeah, that's fun. Oh, she loves the turtles, the teenage ninjas turtles, and my friend Greg Sipes is the voice of Michael. So I had him call her up and he goes, hi, Levia, this is Michael from the turtles. You do anything you're Mimi. She calls me Mimi. You do anything you're Mimi. She calls me Mimi.

Starting point is 02:22:05 You do anything you're Mimi says to do because she loves you and she knows what's right. So I'll see it, whatever he says at the what's it and hurrah or whatever. Stuff like that's really fun. That's cool. It's so cool. And I get to dress her in her outfits every day and do her hair. She likes fashion and looking pretty and wearing my necklaces and such. It's just fun. Yeah, it seems fun.

Starting point is 02:22:31 Seems like I'm three years old too. Yeah. Yeah, but that's something. But be a kid and pretending. Yeah. I like, I would suggest that people really start doing that more with their kids and their grandkids, pretending and imagining. I think they're trying to take that away from us. You know. Well, it's disappearing with technology. Yeah, but that's the most fun thing of being a human.

Starting point is 02:22:57 Yeah. You know? Oh, I used to your imagination, dude. Yeah. It's where I had any chance at all in the world was my imagination. And look what you did with it. One day these motherfuckers will know, you know, and I would, I can imagine anything. I'm going to come back here in a hot air balloon. You know, I guess I'm going to have these crazy ideas. Yeah, like Russell Crowe. Today I will imagine to be a ship's captain. It's so fun.

Starting point is 02:23:28 When was like you do you remember your first like kiss when you were a child? Oh, Christ my first kiss When I was a child or when you was a teenager teenager, you know, do you have a dance or anything at school? Oh, I was such a reject and nerd I just nobody liked me. It's like, God, she's weird chewing on her hair over there. But my first kiss, I think I was 16. Yeah. I can't remember who I did it with.

Starting point is 02:24:00 Who'd I do it with? I should remember that, but I don't. Oh, yeah, I do remember. No, that wasn't him. I don't know if some Joe. Yeah. He don't want any good. It was all disappointment.

Starting point is 02:24:18 All my sexual lives, for most part, were fucking disappointment. Mine's kind of been like that a little. Yeah. It's never like all that a little. Yeah. Yeah. It's never like all that build up. No. It's like you weren't going to go you. You are ravishing.

Starting point is 02:24:31 The most ravishing woman I've ever seen in my life. Yeah. That almost happened to be one time in Paris. I have to say, I regret that. You met a romantic man. Yeah. This guy just came up to me out of nowhere. And I looked really funky too. I had like about

Starting point is 02:24:47 a hundred sparkly berets in my hair. Yeah. What was I in my 40s? I look good though because I had done my hair in these weird, I was in a weird artistic thing. And this guy came up and he said, well you go and have coffee with me. And I was with my girlfriend. I'm like, no. And he goes, please, I'd really love to take you for coffee. And I'm just like what he's trying to get money off me. He goes, I've, I just, I'm just going to say it, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. Well nobody ever said that to me. So I'm like, tell me more. And he goes, and you look fascinating. I love how you've done your hair blah blah. I go, oh, sorry I'm married. He goes really, and I'm like, well

Starting point is 02:25:38 maybe not. But then I decided I better stay true to my fucking stupid ass spouse. Yeah. I regret that. That guy, I don't know. He was pretty cute. Was he? Yeah. He was European, you know.

Starting point is 02:25:53 Yeah. I might have been living in Europe by now. He probably would have kicked me out the next day and go, you old bitch. The first time I snapped on him. Yeah. Who knows? You guys may have been, you guys could be lying in a field and niece right now eating grapes and reading

Starting point is 02:26:10 Lay Miserable together. I don't like that book so much. You know what my favorite book is? Tale of Two Cities. I've read that like ten times. Is it JD Salinger? No. JD Salinger is a friendy Zoey and catch on the ride, which I've also read 10 times.

Starting point is 02:26:30 But no, oh my God, I can't. Charles Dickens. Oh, Chuckie Dickie, huh? Yeah, but it was an uplifting moment that I'll never forget. I never read that. No, I mean that guy. Oh, that European man? Oh, God, dude, I remember a girl one time.

Starting point is 02:26:49 How old were you when you kissed somebody? I think I was like, maybe I was 11. Some people locked us in a closet or something. And they were angry, some angry people. And they kept calling us queer. They like you, Fagee's better make out. It was me and a girl,

Starting point is 02:27:08 but they were just like, great, you know, idiots or whatever, you know? Weird. Oh, it's horrible. And I was so nervous and she had like a chip tooth pretty bad. And I didn't want to, I thought like if I, I don't want to get a chip tooth.

Starting point is 02:27:23 And I was like, I don't even know how this works. And it's just so fucking you know that you felt pressured to Yeah, oh Yeah, that's so ugly and horrible. Oh, and then the rest of my life I felt pressure to perform dude. I was always taking them gas station weener pills all the time Oh, they sell them at the gas station. Yeah, I Know I got entangled in one of your Suarez there at the comedy oh

Starting point is 02:27:48 Remember I got in between them two girls. It was both there to see you you mischeduled something I think Who knows what happened, but I was I know I do I was in there breaking up the fight in the bathroom I said well, obviously he's made a mistake. So, you know, give each other a break here. Then you went out with the third one. Well, I don't know what happened. I mean, there's a lot of discrepancies in a lot of these stories, but I do remember that night that you came and you went up and that was awesome, dude. That was my first time on stage for fucking a hundred years or something. And I was shit faced because I was so scared. And I told my son, I will forever love you because you told me,

Starting point is 02:28:31 afterwards you go, you might want to lay off on the drink and your premises need work. I love you for saying that to me. Damn, I cannot believe I said that. Yeah, you did. You said you got a lot of laughs, but you know, but that was what a comic says to a comic and I loved it. It was good. Well, we need your voice out there so much.

Starting point is 02:28:51 Well, I wanted to do a show. I remember after you got canceled I hit or whatever and canceled is only care. The only people that care about it are Hollywood human beings regular American 90 95% people don't give a fuck about that. That's what everybody's, some people are still under this old rules like that this trick works every of this shell game, but most people aren't even playing it anymore. You know, like my friend Morgan Walling

Starting point is 02:29:16 got canceled or whatever, and he's the number one selling artist in the world now. Oh, that's so great to hear. In the world. Like, yeah, and it's like, I think it just made only seem more human, right? He dropped an in bomb on some white dude that was being a little bitch, right? Oh.

Starting point is 02:29:32 And uh, yeah. And so it was like, and everybody loved him now. And not just white people, fucking black dudes love him, you know? I got a look at my butt, I haven't heard of him. He's neat. He's a neat guy. He's interesting. he's a neat guy, he's interesting. And he's a cool, he's an interesting guy, he's smart. But I don't know what else we were talking about,

Starting point is 02:29:56 but we've talked about so much. Oh you said you wanted to do a show with me after I canceled. Yeah I did. And I can't remember if I texted, I can't remember if I texted, there was a guy, maybe your agent or somebody that I was talking to, I don't remember if I texted. I can't remember if I texted. There was a guy, maybe your agent or somebody that I was talking to. I don't remember who it was. But yeah, I was like, that's what I need.

Starting point is 02:30:10 I did hear about it and that made me feel so good. I thank you for that. That was uplifting for me at the time. Yeah. I think a lot of people just need your voice out there. So I'm glad you're still using your voice. Thank you very much. I'm glad I am too.

Starting point is 02:30:25 I wondered if I would, because I was like, well, I go back for that shit. But once I got on, you know, the stage, it was like, I'm never leaving. In a weird, in a weird way, are you feeling more empowered in some ways? Like, is it almost like a new? It must be like a new, what do I do now? How do I, how do I,

Starting point is 02:30:46 how do I best use my voice and have a purpose? I was talking to CK, you know. He called me. He was another kind person to call me. Louis Awesome. He is. And we were talking about it, and we made a deal that we're gonna come back, this was like five years ago or something. We will both come back and are about to each other and to comedy was we owe to come back more offensive than ever before. And not offensive, but braver, more courageous.

Starting point is 02:31:27 And I think we are. And that's the only way to fight back. And it's the most fun way too. Yeah. And so I say, I said this to Tucker and to James O'Keefe too. I said at first you'll feel like, you know, I said, you'll look back after the storms passed and you'll realize that God took you out of Egypt. And you might wander around in the desert for a while, but you will eventually come to the Promised Land

Starting point is 02:32:01 which is total, artistic, and creative freedom. And that's where I feel I am now. That's the Promised Land for all of us. And, you know, I think both of them are going to find that they agree with me because when that news is off your neck, you just cut free and you've gotten up but freedom and you still got a name and you can come back and you can be better than you ever were. Of course you're going to be better after you you know whatever don't kill you makes you stronger. So that's what happened to me and I'm really grateful it did because at some points I didn't know if I would, but that's just part of the process of coming out of that dark night of the soul, you know? But we all gotta go through it in order to come into the light again.

Starting point is 02:32:53 But the only way a good story is told is if the person that's how on the journey has a setback, you know? Yeah, exactly. There's nobody wants a fucking full-time winner. No, the hero always falls in every story. Yeah. The hero has to get back up and with this strength

Starting point is 02:33:14 and determination and support of the few that knew that he was really Superman or whatever. Yeah. You know, fighting for the masses or whatever. It's just, it's a great feeling to go on stage now and just all the love that's shown to me. It's uplifting. Yeah, and you're here, you have a playground here in Texas

Starting point is 02:33:34 here at this club where you can figure it out. Yeah. It's nice. And bomb. Yeah. It's so great to be able to bomb sometimes. Yeah. And not have to be to experiment.

Starting point is 02:33:48 That's right. Thank you so much for your time. Thank you so much. Yeah, and on behalf of me and my mother and our family for giving us so much joy over the years. The interview my mother was most excited about. She asks every week, is her saying coming? Is her saying coming? So thank you. Well asks every week, is her saying coming, is her saying coming.

Starting point is 02:34:05 So thank you. Well, thank you, your mother for me. Yeah, I will. You brought us a lot of joy over the years and I think gave us a way to connect. No, because my mother was just a hard working lady was trying to make things okay, you know? And I know she tried her best.

Starting point is 02:34:19 And you know. Well, you tell her for me that she raised a wonderful son. Thank you. That was good. Roseanne Barra, thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. I'm a stone Oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share this piece of mine

Starting point is 02:34:47 I found I can't feed it In my bones But it's gonna take you

This Past Weekend - E448 Roseanne

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