This Past Weekend - E463 Bobby Lee
Episode Date: September 19, 2023Bobby Lee is a stand-up comedian, actor and podcaster known for his shows Tigerbelly and Bad Friends. You can catch him on the Bad Friends tour happening now through December. Bobby Lee returns to ...This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von to chat about what’s new in his love life, why he might not be the best roommate, the latest with the movie they made together, dangerous Meerkats, why Bobby might secretly be a redneck, and more. Bobby Lee: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive/ ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ DraftKings: Download the DraftKings app and sign up with code THEO. New customers can bet just $5 and get $200 instantly in bonus bets. Manscaped: Go to http://manscaped.com and use code THEO for 20% and free shipping. Factor: Go to http://factormeals.com/theo50 and use code theo50 to get 50% off. BlueChew: Go to http://bluechew.com and use code THEO to receive your first month FREE - just pay $5 shipping. HexClad: Find your forever cookware @hexclad and get 10% off with promo code THEO at http://hexclad.com/THEO! #hexcladpartner Babbel: Go to http://babbel.com/theo to get up to 55% off your subscription. ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek&ab_channel=BishopGunn ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach Powers  https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers/ Producer: Colin Reiner https://www.instagram.com/colin_reiner/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
The best place to bet on the NFL is Fandule.
North America's number one sportsbook, you can bet on everything from who's going to
win the Super Bowl to any time touchdown score.
Plus, with Fandule, you can build same game parlays in a snap, all on an app that's safe,
secure, and super easy to use.
So, download the app today and get in on all the action with Fandule, official sportsbook
of the NFL.
19-plus and physically located in Ontario.
Gamling problem call 18665-126-100
or visit connectsontario.ca.
We're back with another week of football
and Draft King's sports book is keeping us in
on the NFL action with great offers
every single game day.
New customers can bet just $5 and get $200 instantly in bonus bets. Throw five down on any of this week's epic matchups to walk away an instant winner.
So download the app now and sign up with code Theo. New customers can bet just $5 and get $200 instantly in bonus bets.
Only on Draftking Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL
with code Theo, DC October 22nd.
Las Vegas, Nevada, October 27 and 28, Norfolk, VA, November 9, Roanoke, VA, November 10th, and Huntington, West Virginia, November 11th at the Mountain Health Arena,
formerly the Big Sandy.
Get all your tickets at Theovon.com slash TOUR.
Thank you for the support.
We have a new merch drop.
We merch and maybe check out the new Be Good to Yourself tie-dye hoodies in Aqua, Indigo,
and Cream Sickle. Find that
in much more at TheovonStore.com. Also, there's a lot of other bootleg merch out there,
and some of it's real neat. But if it's not from our store, just know that we're not
the ones doing it, just so you know that. Today's guest is beloved in the comedy
community. He's an actor, he's a podcast host, and he's an endangered species of a
man. Today's guest is is from the far east, and we're happy to have him. You know him from
bad friends and tiger belly. Today's guest is Mr. Bobby Lee. I
Like I
Like what does that mean because it's happy
To st-iracial slurs in one word man. Oh, that's. Oh that's uncalled for. That is uncalled for dude.
Yeah and I'm like dude I'm no sugar to you dude.
Yeah that's crazy.
And you can say sugar because you are what it means.
How do you can anybody say?
I didn't say it dude.
So why do you come up to me go,
yeah what's up sugar and I go what?
He's like, yeah man two racial slurs in one.
I go I'm not a sugar but Tiger is, you know what I'm saying?
Oh, dog was soft.
Oh, that's out of pocket.
It's so hard to be racist these days because of diversity and
intermingle.
What do you mean? What do you mean?
Like, it's always been hard to be racist.
Oh, yeah, you know, yeah, it's always been hard thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it should be. I don't yeah, it should never be easy. Yeah,
it should be. Yeah. Yeah. But if you can do it, good for you. The problem is there's no like,
there's no way to win with racism. There's no way to lose either. That's the thing.
There's no way to lose either of them. That's the thing.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's like, well, in between kind of thing, you know?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
I don't know either, man.
Sometimes I don't even know, dude, but you just do it, you know?
Yeah, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The racism that I think is kind of the safest way, if I've seen any, to try and do any racism
is, I don't know. I don't know.
But you don't want people doing anything dangerously.
That's the thing about racism, dude.
It's like for me, it's like, if there's a, you know,
a noose, or they're gonna drag me in back of a truck,
you know, how they used to do that.
The at least your tie-asians in the back of a truck
and they just try, you know, really?
Yeah, I give it a ride, you know what I mean?
Like you're like, oh, like, oh, like you're wake skating
or something? Yeah, it was like a reverse rickshaw what I mean? Like, you're like, oh, like, you're wakescaiting or something?
Yeah, it was like a reverse rickshaw.
It's like the white version of a rickshaw.
You know?
You know, but like, if it's like,
if comics are being racist, amongst,
you know, we're amongst friends, I like it.
But if it's, if I don't know you dude,
and I'm at an airport and you're like,
what's up, Chigger?
It's like, it's like, oh, I don't like it at all dude.
It breaks my heart dude.
It breaks my heart dude.
The saddest thing I think, but also the thing that kind of like,
if say that you're hanging out with somebody, right?
And you guys are different ethnicities or whatever.
You'll give me specifics because it depends on the,
of what kind of ethnicity it depends on this, how I react.
Okay.
Say you're hanging out with like a Muslim guy.
All right.
No.
Okay.
We'll say someone, pass.
Say somebody's hanging out with a Muslim.
All right.
You know, let's, okay.
I'm hanging out with a Muslim.
I know a couple.
Yeah. So I'm hanging out with like Muslim. I know a couple. Yeah, I'm hanging out with like
Fee he man war okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right so
And somebody drives by in a truck right because it's always a truck I guess that race always a truck
And always and yells out
Get out the street slim. They call them slims a lot of times. We'll wait
They call who slams a lot of times. We'll wait. They call who slams? Muscles.
Don't be dope.
Yeah, they never make shit up, dude.
I've never heard anyone go, what's up?
Like after 9-11, those slams, bro.
They never said that.
Bro, people, it's definitely been said.
That has been...
You said it probably a thousand times.
That's why.
And you heard yourself say it and you're like, oh, that's a thing
Oh, all right, so I'm with a fee here. We're walking out of street. Okay truck drives by
Now I think we would look honestly. I think we would look at each other go
I think was they talking about me? You know what I mean? Right. Or you because we've never heard slim before.
Okay.
So we went both, we both absorb it.
Understood.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, what I'm thinking is the best way for any racism to occur
that it shouldn't occur.
It should never occur.
Right.
But if it has to occur in the world,
the best way, sometimes it has to, right?
Well, is that what you're saying?
Sometimes it has to.
I don't, I don't, I think a little bit keeps thing,
it keeps, you know, it keeps the engine running.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It keeps the engine, yeah.
And let's don't use the term engine.
It works.
All right.
Well, what I'm saying is that I think you,
the best way for a racism to occur,
if it has to occur, is if somebody drives and yells it out of her
because then they're gone. It's over. It happens.
So drive by racism. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. But you say that's okay. No, I don't think it's okay,
but I think it's the safest way for it to do it. It's the safest way to do it. Yeah.
But then if they do a U-turn, then we got a problem.
We'll sub slim and I'm like, uh, that's, eee.
They turn around. Yeah, then we're running.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And we don't even know me and Fee
and we don't even know who they're talking about.
But we're both gonna run just in case, you know.
Yeah.
I don't, you know, can I be awesome with you, man?
Yeah, man.
You don't have a racist bone in your body, man.
I don't think so.
I don't think so, man.
Yeah, I don't think so either, don't think so either dude.
I can name a few comments that may, you know, mean,
they kind of lean, you know, I want to name it.
Oh, can I just get out of this way, bro?
Yeah.
And I have some resentments not towards you.
Yeah, but toward the community, okay.
I'm gonna do, so anyway, what happened?
Well, yesterday was my birthday.
So over the weekend, you know, we, me and bad friends. We did some shows. We were in um
Cle- uh
One of them white Columbus one of them places. No, we were in Pittsburgh, bro. Oh, yeah
So we're doing a show. Oh damn it. Sorry, it's Pittsburgh boy. Thank
Oh damn it.
Sorry, it's Facebook boy. Thank, thank, thank, thank.
And thank from man.
Da-da-da-da-da.
Mom's gonna get your playboy subscription.
Is that Facebook news?
You come down from man.
All right.
Anyway, we're at Facebook, we do a show.
Half of it in the show, it's my birthday, right?
So then Andrew goes, yo dude, happy birthday.
And you're Santino from bad friends your co-host
I'm just making sure everybody knows you talk about
yeah man
we need to say his name he said Andrew
yeah but I said back
anyway yeah but Andrew Santino
okay okay so then he goes um
you know we have happy birthday
I got a birthday collage of people sending in
you know I mean videos
oh yeah and I want to say bro thank you so much you sent in a video dude collage of people sending in, you know, I mean videos.
Oh yeah.
And I want to say, bro, thank you so much.
You sent in a video, dude.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
A lot of people did.
John Mayer did.
Wow.
Yeah, not the musician, you know,
I know got him John who was a mayor at Victorville.
Oh yeah.
No, the musician, that's a bad joke.
But John Mayer did, right?
Whitney Cummings, right?
The little handsome dwarf who's in the movies,
what's his name, the handsome dwarf, Adam Devine.
No way.
Yeah, dude.
Wow.
One of the best looking dwarves I've ever seen.
Better than Peter Dinklage.
Oh, yeah.
And they're not acting similar, but it's just a good looking dude.
Oh my God, dude.
Divine versus Dinklage?
Dude, that's a show, dude, or movie or something.
Yeah.
It's like Alien versus Predator.
Yeah, it'll be that kind of movie.
Do you think?
I wonder how much dankly she's got on him.
That's gotta be it, no.
He won't say that all the time.
Yeah, so there was a bunch of people sent in videos.
Oh man.
Except, and then afterwards, I looked at Andrew and go,
who didn't send one?
You know me, because he requested a lot.
And I wanna call anybody out, man, but there's a couple that I don't want to say their names, but it really broke my heart man
Let me got requests
And they never sound one can I guess you someone could be I can give you some hints, okay one hint. Yeah
One of the guys imagine finding a dead body in a leg, but it's been there for a month and it's
bloated. Oh yeah, it will be bloated. Yeah, some of the jewelry too will be like. Yeah, so that's
one of them. Okay. The other one used to look like that. What? Bert, I'm not going to answer that,
man. Okay. The other guy is he's friends with the dead body guy,
who used to look like that, but doesn't,
and he claims he's Hispanic,
but you don't see no Hispanic blood,
bloodlines in his face, you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's like, you know, definitely,
never said that.
Okay, never said that, either, okay.
But those are a couple of guys, man,
that like I thought they were like
My boys dude and they betrayed me a little bit like you know you sent a video was long
Yeah, there's some people that I don't even know that well that's in a video. Yeah, you know Mm-hmm, and you know it just goes to show you who your friends are man. Oh in this business
You see like Steve right. I see like your brother. This brother done. Yeah. Yeah, we need to test stuff. Yeah
But you know when we get emotional we do this. Yeah, yeah, I mean, so it's like
Yeah, you think that like there you're you know, you know those two guys you know what they're like man
You know what they're like? You know warded. Oh, you know, do you ever see forest comp? Yeah
remember
The guy who's the guy that lost his arms is the, oh, oh, uh, not Dan, not Dan,
Dan, Dan.
Benedict, arm, not Benedict, don't know.
No, either I'm not even talking about, oh, yeah.
Look at him.
Remember when, who was he saving when like, um, for us was running and in the Vietnam War,
he was grabbed, he went to go save somebody's life.
Was that him?
It was, it was the black guy, blah, blah. Was that him? It was Bob. It was the black guy. Bob.
Bob.
Anyway, that's a terrible analogy, but these two guys would not run back for me in a war.
I feel like if you weren't an iron war, let's just make up a war.
Okay, the war, the Serbian Marna, the great, what's the called?
But wars are going to sponsored probably by different.
So it would be like the like Amazon War of 2027.
Right. And there are, oh, you know what dude?
Amazon versus the Eskimos.
That's never been done.
Mm, there's not a lot of Eskimos.
I know, but still, if it's cold dude, they might win.
Yeah, I don't know.
If it's the icy environment dude, like hot, like Amazon versus like who Amazon truck drivers are?
Yeah, dude.
Amazon truck drivers versus Eskimos.
I mean, that could be a good war.
Yeah.
Anyway, you and I are cut up in it.
Oh yeah.
Right, my legs are gone.
Oh, right.
I feel like you would go, I think you come back for me dude.
Yeah, I put you on my, on my back, you know?
Put me on your back, like a backpack, like a backpack, yeah.
Buck, buck, buck, buck, and oh, this is my friend, buck, buck.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What I would do with you, I would put Ty a rope to your neck,
but not to hang you, but I would drag you.
What?
It sounds very, very,
what all you have to do is put your hands with a rope so you can get some oxygen.
Oh yeah, that sounds comfortable.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I would drag you out.
My point is terrible analysis, but my point is
these two fools probably wouldn't even save me, man.
Wow, I've said it really hurts your feelings.
A little bit.
Wouldn't it hurt yours?
Well, I think if Andrew asked everybody,
I don't know who he asked, you know?
And did a lot of,
we're most of the, did you,
did anybody else make a video?
Like did a lot of your other comedian friends make a?
Or I'm gonna tell you, Bobby Kelly.
I know, okay.
He's from New York, I've known him for a very long time.
Him and I have rekindled our relationships.
I really love the guy, Bobby Kelly.
He's sounding one, right?
My brother obviously, Kalilah obviously,
and then who else is Whitney, Adam, John Mayer,
fuck you, a bunch of fools.
But you know, they were just not in it, you know?
Anyway, would you need or so you wouldn't be sensitive about it?
Oh yeah, I think it will it depends on who they asked and what was going on.
If they were people were, if they've been ill,
if they've been in a hospital, if they've been going through like a family thing.
I don't remember how long ago Andrew asked me for it.
I think it was just a few days ago.
Yeah, that's what he told me.
And he goes, if Theo responded so quickly, and that's what I think, dude.
Don't cry, brother.
You know, brother.
Don't cry.
That really hit me because I was laying on the stage.
Yeah.
Like this, watching the video.
Oh.
And I got emotional.
Yeah.
But then, of course, I asked, but anyway, let's move on from it, but, you know, it's
out of pocket, dude.
It's out of pocket.
God, dude.
And you feel like you're gonna pay, how do you pay that back to,
are you gonna hold a grudge?
Cause it sounds like you have a resentment.
Yeah, I do, a deep one.
And guess what?
What?
I'm not gonna fuck with those guys for a while.
Wow.
Maybe at least a month.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
One month, huh?
Yeah, then.
One month off that bubby leaf.
Yeah.
Bubby leaf.
Because you've never been,
you've never been in the outs with me, bro
well Oh, fuck yeah
I forgot
The only outs about no I think after you and your girlfriend broke up
I think there was a moment where you thought I was gonna try to make a move I think
And I remember you being a little bit strange to me. I'll tell you one
I think out of all the comments that would have made a mood that you had the better chance the best chance to get in. Maybe that's what it was. Thank you.
Awesome. And I did not make a move. You would never make a move. Not a chance, brother. I could name
you who did. I'm not getting it. Dude, let me guess. Where they black or white white white white the whites do that shit the blacks don't do that
man they don't the loyal bro yeah yeah man I don't know a crypt would never shoot another crypt you
don't think I mean by accident maybe dude you know a lot of like bloods they don't they they take
seawords and make them start with B you know that know that But like what do you be like we had YG and he was talking about
Sexy red and he's like sexy rig on brazy
So they say instead of crazy they say brazy starts with a big wow like they say I'm moving to bompton like they want
Yeah, I love that island Patelina. Yeah, they say yeah, that's pretty cool. They put a B in front of anything
Yeah, so they call Hey,alina. Yeah, they say yeah, that's pretty cool. They put a bee in front of anything. Yeah, so they call,
Hey man, you like my bats?
Oh yeah, you can pet my bat.
Yeah, but then what would they,
when they actually had a bat, what would they call it?
Uh, uh, I don't see a brother with a bat.
Yeah, I've never seen a brother with a bat.
I don't, you're talking about Count Black, you little.
I don't think we're having that dude. Yeah, I've never seen a brother with a bad. I don't, you're talking about Count Black, you little.
I don't think we're having that, dude.
Yeah, I've never seen that before, yeah.
Brothers don't fuck with a lot of shit like that.
Yeah, yeah.
For bats, reptiles.
Yeah.
You don't see a brother with a fucking lizard.
Yeah, yeah.
Or a spider, dude.
Yeah, you don't see that.
I was a yo-man, my tranchilla, man.
I've never seen that before.
Yeah.
Now, you'll see at Halloween's and I was a brother
will leave is weaner out and put a fake spider on it.
You know, right, right, right.
And I don't want to be racist, but I shouldn't even
said that.
Yeah.
But I've never seen a brother with a cat either though.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah, that's true.
I don't think so.
I've never seen a tall damn mean either.
Yeah, like you see like old photos of like,
yeah, of like Marlon Brando was a huge cat dude.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Abraham Lincoln, how many cats did A Blinken have?
Let's look it up.
Yeah, yeah.
But check it out, dude.
And you think he freed Black people,
you think one of them would stop buying, pick up a cat?
Yeah, yeah.
I've never even seen like, but you've never seen Sydney Portier
with like a cat dropped, dropped around his shoulder.
But maybe, if you Google it, I've never Google it, maybe that's true.
Yeah, you never seen him just petting a tabby in the sun, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But if they have an article, then they fucky fucked with them.
Yeah, he was fond of dumb animals, especially cats, it says.
Are you serious?
Left his dog at home in Springfield when he went to the White House and then
had cats?
I was getting unexpected gift of two kittens from Secretary of State, William Seward,
wow, a man given another man two kittens is hell.
It's like suck my day.
That was the 1800.
Give me a beegee on me.
Why don't you duck below that Mason Dix?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're gonna fuck a brother.
So we're good.
Yeah, if I give you a couldn't do, I mean, what would you do?
Why don't you emancipate these nuts?
You know, yeah, yeah, that's what's going on.
But that's wild.
Yeah, you don't see and bring up brothers with cats, man.
Maybe I'm wrong, though.
And I, you know, I've just never seen it.
Or Google my black friend with his cat.
Cause you want real images. I don't want stock footage. Yeah. Yeah. Yo dude. All they show is black
hats. Yeah. And black cat. That's, oh, it is a brother with a tabby. Where?
Right there. That's a kid though. That's yeah. Oh yeah. There we go. Oh, there we go. There we go.
kid though. That's yeah.
Oh yeah, there we go.
Oh, there we go.
There we go.
One kid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
Listen, listen, you know,
that's true.
I don't want to, I don't want to make assumptions.
So that's crazy.
I would even say that.
No, it's something I've never seen, you know, man.
Bro, it's America, man.
It's okay to look at things and see things you see.
Right.
You know, um, yeah, dude, I would never have tried to slide in your
ex. Are you guys, are you still living with your ex girlfriend? No, she moved out. No.
Yeah, I do. No, she moved a couple of blocks away. Was it sad when she moved out, kind
of? Yeah, because the house is so dirty now. Oh, really?
When you're living with a girl, your house is clean.
It's like it's on filtering system.
Yeah, like oysters have that.
Right, right, right.
But now it's like there's cat vomit all over the place.
And the other day they found maggots.
Yeah, I did.
No.
Yeah, how many of them?
One, maggot. No, dude. Yeah, how many of them? One maggot. No, they found a hundreds. Oh, you
know what it was. It was like, what I do, you know what I've been doing. This is so fucking
sad. I know it is. But you know, when the girls lived up, because I had jewels left
there too, the girls of their, you know, we would put out the cat food wet food. And after
the cats were done, they would wash it. Me, I just leave out more bowls of cat food, right?
And then all of a sudden,
Jules was cleaning my house.
And then she was like,
she saw one of the, and it had been there for a month.
And there was just the baggots in it.
Yeah, so that's the sad part.
But it's, you know, in the beginning, it's lonely.
It really is, because when you're living
with somebody for 10 years,
and then all the life is sucked out of the house,
the two took the dogs too.
Yeah, so like the first couple of months
it was like you'd wake up, it was silent.
You know what I mean?
It was a silent in my house.
And it was like, I don't know how I made it through it, man.
I was really sad about it.
But then like, I think I started bringing girls over
and then the young, the vaginas, man.
Oh, wow. And Dan Er, huh?
Hello.
I'll take the specs off for Dan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey.
I mean, start hooking up, right?
Because I haven't done that for a long time.
But that's kind of sad, though, isn't it?
Like, it gets kind of sad just.
Some gal comes over and you, you know,
and you hook up and then she,
now are these women sleeping overnight
or these women going home?
One of them spent the night.
It was okay, so there's one girl that I was seeing
and this is maybe seven months ago.
And I was like, oh, I like this girl a lot.
And then all of the blue, she goes,
I met someone younger, bye.
No.
And then I looked him up, dude.
Younger than an Asian?
I know. It was a baby., dude. Younger than an Asian. I know.
It was a baby.
Oh, yeah.
He's dating a baby.
He's eight months old.
Yeah, yes, no.
This dude, it hurt my feelings, but this dude
look like Brandon Lee, bro.
Who's Brandon Lee?
I don't know, man.
No, he was Bruce Lee's son. Bruce Lee's son. The
crow died. Oh yeah, he died. You know, I got shot. I remember that. Yeah. He was the
first one to do that. You know, I mean, oh, how are you? His handsome handsome dude. This
dude was he looked this her. So she goes, I met someone younger. I looked at my that's
what he looks like. Oh man. And then you see photos of them like at pool parties and he's ripped.
No.
Yeah.
So I was like, oh, you're more together than, you know, your body styles, I wouldn't say
I wouldn't use the term ripped, probably.
Yeah, I mean, what else about him?
No, but no, what I'm saying though, dude, is...
And I just, just say that I'm fat.
I don't think you're fat at all.
I think you... But I'm the opposite of ripped.
I wouldn't say, I wouldn't say, I wouldn't say ripped.
I would say you're...
Right?
Conjointed.
A conjointed.
Yeah.
Or, I would say, you're...
There's two people in one body.
Like a sign me.
Like a sign me.
Like a sign me's twin thing. I think we you're two people in one body. I would like a sign me. I mean, like a sign me twin thing.
I think we could carve one off of you.
I probably wouldn't want it to.
That's me, you did.
We could carve a little.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I guess the way it is.
Kind of be honest with you, daughter.
Yeah.
I didn't see you in a while.
You gained a little bit too, then.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And you got a weird tan.
Huh?
I do a little bit.
It's healthy.
You look healthy.
Thank you. Anyway, so she started, she goes goes I met someone and it broke my heart and then I'm like but now
I
I met somebody you did
Yeah, man
What
What's up? Where at you met her online?
And here there no you better than the deems remember when I saw you in that movie were to swipe and people were saying you winged
Erzen Brassing everything oh No, you better than the deems. Remember when I saw you in that movie where the swiping people were sending you winged ears and bracing everything?
Oh, it was in that movie?
Yeah.
No, but I met this girl after that.
Okay.
Yeah, I met this girl.
I don't want, because it's new, but it's like,
she's the first person that I kind of want.
I'm like, I kind of like her.
You know, it's like from the girl that betrayed me
with the brand-new league, you know what I mean?
But yeah, I like this new one, you know, she's,
yeah, she says something, I don't know what dude,
bro, let me just be honest with you.
Yeah.
I fuck it, I fuck, oh man, I love wholesome.
You do?
Yeah, I love church going when they make sweaters.
Yeah.
What do you call that?
When they knitting.
No, crocheting. Yeah, crocheting, yeah, knitting, whatever. You know what I mean? I they knitting. No, a crochet.
crochet.
Yeah, knitting whatever.
You know what I mean?
I like it when they they're like, I've never seen good fellows.
Yeah.
Right.
You can show them that the blows are mine.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
I never seen the departed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or it's like, they only this girl that I'm saying, she only likes Taylor Swift.
Oh, yeah.
You know what I mean?
So then you can open her mind up to like, we're good music to you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This girl that I'm saying she only likes Taylor Swift. Oh yeah. You know what I mean?
So then you can open her mind up to like,
good music, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, like, this is good music right here.
You know, like, the clash or whatever.
But I like wholesome, dude.
She goes to church twice every Sunday.
Really?
Yeah.
What ethnicity, like what church ethnicity is she?
What do you mean?
Like what? I've never heard church ethnicity, she. What do you mean? Like what?
I've never heard church ethnicity, you know,
denomination, sorry.
Oh, I see.
I don't know, the one with the cross.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, yeah, it has to do with the cross.
It has to do with other things.
Yeah, that might be an antian or whatever.
Protestant.
Yeah.
It's one of those mega churches,
so it's like one of those born again. You know how they do the harvest crusade? Yeah. Yeah. It's one of those mega churches. So it's like one of those born again.
You know how they do the harvest crusade. Yeah. In like a huge stadium.
Jesus. Yeah. It's a future. I don't know how they love and love and good. Jesus.
Touch my teeth. That's the one I'm from. They have that in Oklahoma or whatever.
That's the one I'm from. You are really?
They have that in Oklahoma or whatever.
What is it, my skirt?
Yes, that's a good shirt.
Yeah, that's the crazy one.
I saw a guy the other day, a gay guy had a shirt on it said,
Jesus, oh, it said, God is my girlfriend on it.
I was like, that's insane.
That's insane.
That's sexual, dude.
I know, it was a lot.
Yeah, that's a lot, dude.
Yeah, dude, the Christians, they get real gay with Christ, huh? Well, I think anything
The more that the at the at everything the with you get too much of these dicks. No, it's too much love if you get too much love going
There's yeah, something gay has to happen like you listen to lyrics like you're the love of my life
All I need is you, Jesus.
It's like you're you're hitting on it's just weird. Or Jesus lost Vegas. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they're like kind of get people to go to Vegas. Vegas. Yeah, it's weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We just got the church, man.
I don't even know what it Jesus loves you. Yes, I know
For the Bible tells you so that's a classic. Yeah, that's like free bird before Christian. Yeah, you know, it's a classic
Well, it's hard to say you're not gay if you love Jesus and you're a man
What? Because you there's a part of you that's loving another man right right?
There is a gay vibe there. Well, there's just a, it's impossible to be,
you have to be at least whatever tithing, 10% gay
to even do a Christianity, it appears like.
Right, right, right, right, right, I getcha.
Yeah, yeah.
And that's also, can I just say another thing about it?
Yeah.
They talk about like, I was listening to some lyrics
of a Christian song and they said
Jesus hold me in your arms forever
Jesus has arms
I mean you think about it. Yeah, like he's just up there as a human form. Yeah, he's yo
Cuz he shake your hand when you go to welcome sir You know me You would think that because there's probably millions of planets out there
with intelligent life.
And they probably don't look like us.
So if Jesus is,
well, there's a Jesus right there.
Yeah, I'm not saying Jesus on planet earth.
Yes, when he was on planet earth, he had arms.
He was on the leper.
Right, but he was like a guy,
you're talking about.
In heaven, I don't think Jesus has arms in heaven.
But he might, I mean, he got them
Reachers on in my bed. I got bad bed. He got warm arms too.
You think so? Yeah, Jesus. Yeah.
Sometimes you can feel Jesus and you're like, sometimes I feel like Jesus is around
or the love of, you know, when you feel like in love with something or whatever.
All right, gentlemen, let's talk cookware for a second
because we need to, if you've been anything like me,
you've been cooking out that dirty skillet,
but what at things?
Oh, okay, even when you look at it,
you just feel bad for anything, it's about to cook.
That's what I'd been using until
hex clad came along. There today's sponsor and they have revolutionized the cookware industry.
That's right, hex clad has a hybrid pan that gives you all the convenience and clean up of non-stick,
the versatility of your grandmother's cast iron and sheer durability.
And they last a lifetime, did I tell you that?
That's right, they have a lifetime warranty just in case
something happens if you find a way to destroy them
while grilling up a nice grilled cheese for your hinge date.
Gordon Ramsay may be the toughest critic in the world,
but these are the pots and pans he uses both at home
and in his Michelin star restaurants. For a limited time, only our listeners get 10%
off their entire order with code Theo at hexclad.com. Support our show and check them out at H-E-X-C-L-A-D dot C-O-M and use code Theo.
I'm grateful to have some new cookware.
Hey fellas, if you're running into some stubble trouble up on your grill, on your face, then
you might want to tighten up.
Manscaped can help you.
They are the brand for below the waste grooming, but now they're taking care of that face, buddy
I want you face to look good with their brand new handy man electric face shavr
Your face is the first thing people see you want to keep it tidy
For me being able to shave up to three days growth without the mess of traditional shaving is really nice
You don't have to get wet. You don't have to get the razor. You don't have to do this and that Three days growth without the mess of traditional shaving is really nice.
You don't have to get wet, you don't have to get the razor, you don't have to do this
and that.
Just get that handy man out, baby.
And for my fellows with a little more scruff, man's scapes beard, head, or pro kit has
everything you need to tame your mane.
Get 20% off and free shipping with the code Theo at manscap.com. That's 20% off
with free shipping at manscaped.com and use code Theo. Hit the refresh button with the
handyman. Bobby Lee, man, good to see you, dude.
Like we just ran with the fuck. Yeah, let's get rid of my center. Speaking of ladies,
I sent a DM to El Chapo's wife,
dude, when she just got out of jail.
Bring her up, please, Zachary.
Really?
Yeah.
I sent a DM to her, just saying, what's up?
There she is right there.
I think you can do better, Dad.
You think that you think so?
Yeah, I did.
Then Emma Coronelle.
Yeah, I did. Shush.onelle? Yeah, I did.
Shush.
Plus, there's like, your life wouldn't,
I think your life would be in danger for you.
Eller.
Shapa?
Yeah, but your life would be in danger.
Yeah, dude, but it would be exciting.
Imagine waking up every day.
And you don't know what's gonna happen, my friend.
Yeah.
And I was like, you're sober, guy.
Yeah, but I could handle it.
I would just, she'd be around a lot of coke, no, no.
Maybe I don't know.
She could do the coke I'll watch in the back.
Yeah.
She's kind of cute there.
Yeah, I'll just knit in the back or something, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She's pretty cute.
You've never dated, I've never seen you with a Mexican.
I would do it, man.
I think, I don't get hit on by a lot of Mexicans,
but I did IDM, the LTP, her.
She just got a prison.
My friend was showing me a picture of her.
He's cute.
I was like, I'm a slide, man.
So I wasn't gonna bring this up,
but we'll see what happens.
You ever DM'd a, I have a resentment towards you.
I just realized.
Yeah, yeah, yes sir.
What is it about you think?
And this is not a lie.
I swear to God.
I swear to God on my life, okay?
I'm gonna say.
So you know it's real, right?
I don't know, but yeah, I'm listening.
What do you mean?
Yeah, okay, okay, whatever yeah, I believe time three times okay
On hinge when I was on it and two times on Raya
Mm-hmm. I matched with the girl and in the direct message they said yo, I don't want to hurt your feelings
But um, I'm not really I didn't match with you because I want to hook I want to hurt your feelings, but I'm not really,
I didn't match with you because I want to hook, I want to hook up with the
yoke and it sat me up. Damn. And brawn. You didn't set me up.
How hard was that? I've been, I made that birthday video for you.
I'm saying bro, dude, oh shit, never looked at it that way.
Yeah, how hard you think so.
I heard it a bit when you know your voice out here.
Yeah, looking for love.
Oh shit, my bad.
Okay.
Looking at the Lord's lost and found out here,
lost and worthless.
You know what, so you just told me like,
I was selfish about it, huh?
Yeah.
So I could have been like, yo, I know you were,
you're so hot and I was excited when you match with me.
Yeah.
Cause I thought you liked, you know what I mean,
the way I looked and my comedy,
but you know, you think I'm disgusting,
but here's my boys number
cause I just talked to him and he wants to link up.
You think that should have happened?
I think it would have been the move.
I think because here's what I'm saying,
they say that if you give it, you give it away, you know, you give it away,
the more people you give it away to, the more it comes back.
You know what, dude?
Maybe you're right.
You know, I looked at it in a selfish way then.
But you have to admit, dude, that hurts your feelings.
You, would that hurt your feelings?
I think it probably, at some point in my life,
it would have now, I don't think it would have.
I've had, I've had buddy steal a girl that I liked
and I think it, yeah, maybe mad. liked and I think it yeah, maybe mad
But then I think like well if they're together then I'm not supposed to be with that dude
Oh, dude, you know, you're looking in a spiritual way to like everything happens for a reason
I think you are did I also put Nair and a girl shampoo one time who broke up with me when I was in college
So
times change
Yeah, I get it. I get it. So yeah, I mean, so I guess those ladies,
because I've been, I've been scolding them online, you know, on podcasts.
Yeah. And they lady, whoever you are, you fuck you bitch. And all that stuff.
Yeah, I'm really. Yeah. I get resentful, dude.
You have a lot of resentment towards women, do you think? Honestly or no?
Here's what I'm resentful about, dude. Girls, I, you, I hit, there are girls girls that back in the day like I'm talking about 20 years ago. I hit on
Like no, but now they want to link up. Yeah, you know, I mean now they want to know they want to link up
Now we now that you're the top dumpling. They want to fucking get in the sauce, huh? Yeah, I'm in the top
I mean until the dumplings do yeah, I'm in the bowl. Yeah, yeah, I mean I made it into the bowl
Yeah, it was like eight dumplings in there.
Now that you're the boss, bomb me,
you're gonna get a bite out of you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's like, now they're like, you know, wanting to,
but it's like, fuck you.
Yeah.
But it's like, well, I have, yeah, you know what dude?
And what's great about being, how old are you?
Me, I'm 43.
Great, dude. I'm 52 now, dude. You just turn 52. Yeah, I'm talking right thanks man. I'll talk about that bug with it
I saw bug
That's not from your apartment is that someone of the things that you have in there is it no
You don't leave those in here man. You just got to place. I didn't bring that. I'm gonna say you just told me you can your place
I'm gonna bring it
Why don't bring bugs around bro? That's great right you to what your story was at your place
But it's not like they're like you're being like hey, let me hit your ride
Well, I just one just flew off of you do that's the only reason I'm asking me yeah
Anyway, you seem like a great guy going. I just want to let you know at 52 though. Mm-hmm
Fuck you like sex dude great guy going. I just want to let you know at 52 though.
Fuck you like sex dude. It's just not that important anymore.
Yeah. Do you want to sort of say? Oh yeah man. I've like, he's to be number one dude. But will you ever, will you ever honestly? Will you ever, will you ever any good at sex?
Honestly, like were you ever brought that's so insulting dude? No, but honestly, I'm great.
Okay.
Maybe you are.
I'm gonna say something, dude.
I have two forms.
Slow form and long form.
Okay.
Do you understand what I mean by that, man?
I let me think slow form and long form.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So sometimes I go short. Oh yeah, I go quick Yeah, yeah. Okay. So sometimes I go short. Oh, yeah, I go quick. Oh, yeah. So that
involves rabbit sewing machine style. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. And then I do
long strokes. Oh, long strokes, you know, yeah, and then I could do an hour of that. Yeah, it's like a manatee swimming. Oh
Like a small manate
Like a minute
Yeah, whatever Whatever dude, but who wants a big huge winger that's all cumbersome?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Have a buddy hold it while you tire shoes. Yeah, I don't want all like I don't like checking in my bags
At the airport dude, I bring it on you tire shoes. Yeah, I don't want all of it. Like, I don't like checking in my bags at the airport, dude.
I bring it on.
You know, that's what I do.
But I have those forms and then it's like,
but that's back in the day.
Do you enjoy it, though?
Do you enjoy sex as much as you used to, you think?
No, but I can take, I can go without it.
Yeah.
You know, like, when I was in my 20s,
I would like stay up all night, hitting
on a girl. Like, you know, you see a girl at a bar. What do you mean hitting on a girl?
You mean masturbating at home? Or what do you really mean? Because I was, I'd be at the
house. Yeah. No. I mean, you know, like, if you were out, like when in your early days
of standout, right? Oh, yeah. In the early days, you met a girl on the road. And you
they were like on the fans. I would like stay, hang out with them till four in the morning.
But now it's like, I would never do that.
Like if a girl walked in right now,
and this is the truth, she goes,
hey, so next storm at a hotel,
when you come over and off, it's fog.
And I'd be like, how far is it?
Next door, I go, I would go, let's do it right here.
Wow. We'll be right here, like in front of you. Like let's say the moment, I'm not moving for it? Yeah. Next door, I go, I would go, let's do it right here. Wow.
Wait a minute, we're right here, like in front of you.
Like let's save the moment.
I'm not moving for it.
Right.
Would you move for it?
Let me think, to next door, yeah, I'd probably pop over there.
Yeah.
All right.
Maybe that was an extreme example.
Right, but I was saying, like, like, and Sino.
You're not going far out of your, yeah.
Yeah, I'm not going to go to and Sino.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're not going to, yeah.
You're not going to get out of map or something. Yeah. And then it's like, also, I'm not gonna go to see now Yeah, you're not gonna. Yeah, you're not gonna get out of map or something
Yeah, and then it's like also I've been doesn't I've never said this out loud before but say it man
I can't look at me man. I can't I
Can't come really it takes a long time
Yeah, I'm doing my brother
Wow
Yeah, I'm doing my brother again
Love's doing pretty good. Yeah, you can't come
Yeah, yeah, so I you know, but that's fun. Do you come easy me? Yeah, well that's one of my problems with sex over the years is band the
Immediate ejaculation, you know, it's almost like somebody not say somebody knocked on your door
Okay, okay, no, I all right. I knock on the door. Yeah, you open it and I throw a bucket of water in there Oh shit
That's crazy
That's too bad. That's too fast. It's really you want to be able to know like the person and see what they want
But you're saying I open the door it's this. If you even open a little people thing,
I'm on the client.
Oh, I see, I see, that's fun.
Yeah, just, yeah.
What do you think that is?
I just a lot of nerve, just like, a lot of,
like, I think I just, what I had a lot of nervous energy
around women, I was always so scared of women, you know?
You know, dude, it's so funny.
I have always been scared of cops and women.
Yeah.
And it's like, you do back in
the day before I did stand up. I couldn't even lock eyes with women.
Dude, same. Like, let's, let's, let's a year woman. And I met you. Yeah. I'd be like,
hey, how's it going? Yeah. Oh, I would even make love and be looking over there.
What? We like a, like a spot, a specific spot. Just like Just like, you know, I just, it's like, to be,
it's so hard to connect to what I'm doing.
Right.
With it's, if it's involved.
So I'm making love and this is our head.
Yeah.
You're looking over here.
Yeah.
I see.
I think yeah, it would just be like, I don't know.
I don't know.
It always made me so nervous.
Like, even getting in a conversation with a woman,
I can feel my skin crawl off of my body and into my body.
I feel like, yeah. Like, I would be so nervous, so nervous.
Yeah, I just could not even, well, you'd be grateful too.
Oh, I just, I'm grounded to it in there.
Oh, I think you got, but I would ruin it.
I remember one time this girl gave me her number and I didn't know what to do.
And so I ran and tried to jump over this fence and cut my body open on the bar.
Why?
What do we, at a party this week? Really?
Yeah, she was cute and you started hurtling toward a fence.
She like, I got her number and she gave it to me, right?
I don't know if she was out of her mind or something.
Or she'd been hit by lightning or something,
but she gave me all seven digits of her number.
Wow, wow, wow.
So I'm, and I didn't know what to do, bro.
I couldn't believe it.
Yeah, yeah.
And I literally turned this way and be lined,
or at this, in a, in a, at a party in someone's yard,
they had a chain link fence.
And I was like, I can do this.
I think party was like, I'm gonna impress this girl.
Oh, I see.
And I just tried to jump over and I got my stomach hung up on it
and got my hand hung up on it and had to go get a bunch
of stitches. It's sweet. That's, I mean, because when I on it and got my hand hung up on it. I had to go get a bunch of stitches.
It's sweet.
That's, I mean, because when I play that scenario in my head,
it's like that it's like, yo, can I get your number?
I sure here it is.
Thanks.
Yeah.
It's so fucking weird.
It was so weird.
And she's like, what the fuck is he doing?
Yeah.
Right?
That's your style.
That was what you did.
I just couldn't handle it.
Yeah, I get what you're saying.
And I was always afraid to approach.
I think you just had a lot,
just a lot of nervous energy around women.
So then I think even in my 20s,
I would be like, instead of going on dates,
I would do masturbation, you know?
And because I would, even sometimes I would plan a date,
but then I would look at pornography,
do masturbation and then cancel the date.
It's funny, I get what you're saying.
Because sometimes when I'm like,
I'm gonna meet Cynthia, but I don't wanna go.
Like I met this girl Cynthia
and I'm gonna meet our bar.
She wants to go to this bar.
When I, Jurega, then I call Cynthia and go,
yeah, I'm tired.
Yeah, it's like, I like that.
I like that style.
I'm tired of helping my friend move.
She's like, it's eight o'clock on a Tuesday night.
Yeah.
Let me actually
Said when you're making love to a girl and you're like doing your you're looking around like you do
Mm-hmm, and you looked out the window, and you saw her in the window. What would you do if I saw her in the window?
Would you be well she was like like this like her face is right and then you look down and there's what nothing there. Oh, that would be so
crazy. That'd be cool. But you want to see her again because she's a magician. Yeah. I'm just
telling it. Right. If that was on America's got talent. Dude, dude, golden buzzer. Yeah.
Dude, if that was on America, that would be Golden Buzzer shit. How amazing is that?
Dude, we know where Golden Buzzer shit out in the world.
There's not enough Golden Buzzer shit, man.
But for, explain to your fans what Golden Buzzer is.
Golden Buzzer is, well, also a Golden Buzzer is a term
I think in the gay community where someone's never made love
to a woman.
You know what I'm talking about?
With no, or Golden Wizard, What is it called? A horned
wizard or whatever? It's a, um, I don't know. I've never heard anything like that before,
man. Gold star gay. Sorry. And I think, yeah, and you also get free chilly. I think over
there at um, no, what I was saying is I like pondering with you because when I pond with
you, it's we, it gets, it gets, it gets like every time there's some cool weird shit
but I was thinking to myself,
are you like that with other guests?
I mean, because I like it.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I think, I don't know.
That's the weird thing about podcasting is,
is that you don't really know how it's gonna go.
You can kind of have a little bit of a plan sometimes
but I don't think you can really know how it's gonna be.
You don't know how you're gonna be feeling.
You don't know how the other person's gonna be feeling.
You don't know what's really gonna go on.
You don't know if people are gonna tell you
sometimes about what's really happened to with them
or just wanna talk about just the weather, kinda.
Yeah, because I had Bobby Robert Kennedy, Jr.
Yeah, I saw that.
And that was hard.
I saw that because it was so scared in the beginning. Me? He did. Yeah, I saw that. And that was hard. I saw that because it was so scared in the beginning.
Me? He did.
Yeah, he was frightened.
Yeah, but then once he was frightened,
you know what I mean,
then I got kind of scared
because I'm like,
oh, I don't think I know what I'm doing, you know what I mean.
But sometimes you're ponding with people and you go,
I don't think I know how to do it.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's so weird.
Well, yeah, I think you just don't know,
I mean, I think for one, you have to,
you don't know why people listen.
And you don't.
Okay, that's okay.
Let me say something.
I'm glad you said that.
I literally don't know why they listen.
Sometimes, you know, people go,
you change my life or you know what I mean?
I'm connect, I go, I talk about farts.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like, how did I, you know, so that's the first thing.
And second thing is, it's like, we do it so much.
I mean, I podged so much, there are times where it's like,
what else can I say?
But we keep doing it.
But today, we talk about things I've never talked about.
It's miraculous.
Really?
Oh yeah, I've learned things.
I don't know what Gold Star reviews are.
I don't know, there's just a lot of things,
things about you staring off in the distance when you're making love, that's a new piece of information that I'm
learning a lot from you, you know what I mean?
But what I'm saying is that it's such a strange job because it's sometimes it's hard, man.
You know, well, I think it's hard.
Yeah, I think there's times where it's like, I don't know what the, like, there's times where it's tough
to drop into a conversation sometimes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's how they start and go a crazy way
and you don't know what's going on.
Yeah, yeah.
Let me see what these gold star guys are.
I wanna be, I wanna be for sure on this.
In LGBT slang, they got rid of Q.
LGBT, what's the Q?
What was the Q? Q was for queer and I think. Oh, they got rid of Q. LGBT. Where's the Q? What was the Q?
Q was for Queerin, I think.
They got rid of it.
Wow.
And LGDB's, Clang.
You do the Queers of Mad.
A Gold Star Lesbian.
Yeah, they're mad.
You never met them.
Yeah, I get pissed.
I'm sure they're not.
In LG, in their slang,
a Gold Star Lesbian is a lesbian who's never had sex with a man.
Whoa.
And a gold star gay is a gay man who is never had sex with a woman.
Wow.
So I'm a gold star heterosexual.
No, I've, I've, if you ever have a sex with a man, well, what sex?
Sex I think is putting your body inside of their body.
Never did not.
Okay. I've tasted some things.
Have you really?
You had a little bit of that.
That's what it meant.
That front soy, huh?
A little bit.
You ever had the soy?
Yeah, the teaspoon of some fella show you, huh?
Yeah, you never had front soy?
No.
No boy, yeah, a little bit off of a fella.
Where were y'all? At a rave. Wow. Yeah, a little bit off of a fella. Where were y'all at a rave?
Wow.
Yeah, back in the day, you know, instead of glow sticks,
we, you know, there are other things going on.
No, you know, honestly, you've never had a gay experience.
I've never had a gay experience, man.
Now, I'll close if you've gotten.
This is how I'll tell you how close.
I was on a porch one time and this girl told my buddy,
she told him she said, hey, if you kiss my friend was on a porch one time and this girl told my buddy,
she told him she said, hey, if you kiss my friend and she had a gay friend there with her gay male,
she goes, if you kiss my friend, then I'll hook up with you.
And the dude, my buddy was like, all right.
So he kissed the dude and then the girl didn't hook up.
So also, oh, what, no, did she didn't?
No, no, no, no, no matter where you go.
I just thought I was like, man, I feel bad for that guy, you know, kind of,
but also that thing, that guy's a little bit, you know,
so I think it's like a mixed bad.
Yeah, yeah.
That's the closest you've gotten.
Yeah, close up.
Let me think if I've ever seen anything else that's seen, uh,
there was a gay dude, I think, or seem pretty gay who passed out on our front porch one time
when I lived in Charleston
But we didn't we just saw him there. We didn't do anything
That's just a guy
But still you're asking how close of ever that I mean that's the closest you've got you then you're not close at all
Oh, I fell a cameo mom one time at the movie theater. Well, that's pretty close. Okay. Did you know? I did know him he passed away too
That's pretty close. Okay.
Did you know him?
I did know him.
He passed away too.
Uh, really?
Yeah, he passed away.
Oh, that's my bad.
And of course, I mean, I'm sorry, I mean,
it wasn't your fault.
I didn't kill it.
You were on the road, dude.
You guys, I didn't go, I have a pension for cause.
Yeah, I'm actually like, kissed a penis, like intentionally.
Wow.
Yeah, because I did, you know, what flavor is it?
For some, you know, like, I know what badge tastes like. Yeah. Cause I did it. You know, what flavor is it? For some of you, like, I know what veg tastes like.
Yeah, right.
To me, like you, the quality of what they taste like
is kind of dropped off a little bit.
It has, it has, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Yeah, a lot of these women, it's like, you know,
clean out your purse.
Yeah, so it's past the expiration period.
Well, it's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You should put a date on there.
Yeah, if you have a handbag, make sure that, you know,
like it's not just like a bunch of,
but it's a different flavor badge than dick.
So for me, it's like, I wanna see what the flavor,
and guess what, what?
Don't like it.
Don't like the flavor, dude.
But how are you gonna know if you don't
have never had it?
You guys don't eat anything, though, dude.
Asians?
Yeah, I'm just saying.
I just said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, you've seen some mukbangs at the store.
Yeah, I know.
Pretty intense.
I mean, because I've been to a China, like,
Chinese market before.
Oh, yeah.
And you look at some of the shit that, like,
butterfly wing.
What the fuck, you eat that, right?
Or it says, like, a shoulder of a miracle.
Yeah.
Like, you eat that?
Like, they fucking, like fucking sloth ponials. Oh, dude, they'll mix that in. I love a jar of human freckcap. Yeah. Like you eat that? Like they fucking like fucking sloth toenails.
Oh, dude, they'll mix that in.
A little of a jar of human freckles there.
You can eat that.
They can sprinkle, you know.
You know what I'm talking about freckles?
Why are Asian people capable of eating anything?
Why is that?
Okay, I'll try to explain it to you.
Because it's really true, man.
It's not that, it's not true,
because let me say something,
I wanna make the opposite argument, right?
Like, I don't know if I think Chinese people is like,
who I people, they eat sometimes squirrel, right?
Like, maybe they don't fuck with squirrel,
but squirrel's weird.
Like, you eat and squirrel?
Yeah, I've had squirrel, Asian-wheat squirrel. You think so? I. Like you eat squirrel. Yeah, I'm at a squirrel, Asian way eat squirrel.
You think so?
I don't know, maybe.
Yeah, dude.
You're right, you're right.
I think I think you're right.
You're right, I'm just saying that there are groups of people
that eat things that we're like, oh, that's weird.
But it's a cultural thing.
I think they have, I think their theory is that
if they move, we eat.
Oh, right.
Because it's protein, right? So if you eat like the shoulder of a move, we eat. Oh, right. Because it's protein.
Yeah.
Right?
So if you eat like the shoulder of a miracle,
you're getting protein, right?
It's about survival.
It's about survival.
Yeah.
And then it's also it's like,
but check this out.
Check this out.
They don't eat certain things.
Like you can't go to a Chinese market and get panda.
Oh, wow.
Think about it.
Or a koala.
Well, it's awesome.
They want to eat cute shit.
But, Miracats are cute.
Miracats are pretty cute.
Yeah.
But I don't know, man.
I think it's because of survival.
I think it's a regional thing like,
all we can get is by the pi wing here.
Butter pi wing.
Yeah, butter pi wing here, or whatever.
Butter pi wing.
Yeah, but you know what, dude?
Yeah, butter pi wing.
So cool.
Yeah, butter pi wing. I would be, you think I could be think I could be Asian or not
Dude, I'm telling you right now. I dig if they had if they had a surgery. Yeah, you know mean
They wouldn't have to do much really
Well from the waist down nothing
Yeah, no kidding. I don't know.
No, I forgot it's good.
Really?
Remember, do you actually grab your wiener the other night?
Remember that?
Yeah, why'd you do that?
I thought it was an accident, huh?
Was it an accident?
Yeah, it was.
You gripped it then.
I didn't mean to.
Yeah, but you did, huh?
I just went like this.
I know you went down and you grabbed a little.
It was on stage. Yeah. Yeah, you went down and you grabbed a little. It was on stage.
Yeah.
Yeah, maybe that's, you know.
So that's probably the guess thing I've ever done.
That was probably the guess.
Yeah.
But I can't believe you met up with some.
So if you get face to face with a winner,
then what do you do?
Does it, who makes the first move?
That's an interesting question, dude.
I stared at it for like a good 45 seconds.
There's always a showdown. Yeah. Like, you know, the Western. interesting question, dude. I stared at it for like a good 45 seconds.
There's always a showdown.
Yeah, like, you know, the western.
So I was there, I backed up.
Well, I turned around, I did some steps.
Right.
Then we both turned around.
Wow.
Right? And we just stared each other.
And then, you know what I mean?
I had my fucking, all my mouth, I mean, whatever.
Yeah.
And then I went, that wane or maybe that long.
So, you had to, also I was 14 years old, 13 years old.
Oh, wow.
You know what I mean?
So it's like, at that time I was like, maybe.
Yeah.
And then I was like, no, they call it that long pussy.
Some people call it that.
They do in prison. Long pussy? In prison, they call it that long pussy. Some people call it that They do in prison long pussy in prison. Yeah, they call it say but you got it. You should cut of that long pussy
Come out. Wow. Yeah, you should go that long
Lea stag gustando mi pagost
Are you liking my podcast?
That's a little Spanish to English right there with Babel. That's right. Babel is a language learning app that can have you start speaking a new
language in just three weeks. One in five Americans have learned a new language on their bucket list. If that's you, you can check it off with Babel. Science has our ability to learn new languages peaks when we're children,
but since you can't go back to being six years old, Babel is your next best option. It's designed
for real people, for real conversations. All of Babel's tips and tools for learning a new language are approachable,
accessible, rooted in real life situations, and delivered with conversation-based teaching.
Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners to get you started right now.
Get 55% off your Babel subscription only at babel.com slash Theo.
That's only for our listeners.
Get 55% off at babbl.com slash Theo.
That's babble.com slash Theo.
Rules and restrictions may apply.
With the busy fall season already in swing,
you might be looking for wholesome, convenient meals
for jam-packed days. Well, factor is America's
number one, ready to eat meal kit. They can help you fuel up fast with chef-prepared dietitian approved,
ready to eat meals delivered straight to your door. They're good. They're tasty. I had one a week or two ago, it was like a chicken bacon
with mushrooms and it was just great.
It was like someone that who cared about me had cooked it.
You'll save time, eat well and stay on track
with your healthy lifestyle.
Factors fresh, never frozen meals,
already in just two minutes.
All you have to do is heat and enjoy.
That's it.
You can level up with gourmet plus options prepared to perfection by chefs and ready to
eat in record time.
They also have all types that will fit your diet, calorie, smart, protein, heavy, all types.
So whatever you're going for, you can get through factor meals.
This September get factor and enjoy eating well
without the hassle.
Simply choose your meals and enjoy fresh flavor packed meals,
ready and delivered to your door.
Head to factormeals.com slash Theo50
and use code Theo5050 at factormeals.com
slash thio5050 to get 50% off.
Blue chew, baby, when you gotta get it, when you gotta get some action in that Randle baby,
you know what I'm talking about. When you gotta yurp that churner, baby, and you gotta get it. When you got to get some action in that Randall, baby, you know what I'm talking about? When you got to yurp that churn or baby and you got to get it going, blue chew is
a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients as Viagra, siallus and
levietra, but in chewable, chewable tablets and at a fraction of the cost, I like them
are chewable, get you a little chew, get you a little chew, baby. I like them. They're chewable. Get you a little chew.
Get you a little chub. Maybe that's it. You can chew your way to chub and that's it.
The process is simple. Sign up at bluechew.com. Consult with one of their licensed medical providers.
And once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days. The best part, it's all done online. That's right. We've got a special deal for our listeners,
try BluChu free. When you use our promo code Theo at checkout, just pay $5 shipping. That's
BLUECHEW.com, promo code Theo to receive your first month free. Visit BluChu.com for more details
and important safety
information.
And we thank Blutew for sponsoring the podcast.
But I feel like you don't do, I feel like you don't do
weird shit and bad.
I think you're, let me guess, your favorite position.
Missionary.
My favorite position is making love to civil war music, dude.
Okay, so we're talking about it really. Yeah, put on love to civil war music, dude
Yeah, put on some good civil war hits
Oh
Yeah, dude, I think it's like a musketeer
It goes off and the war is over. Yeah, it's a fast. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's a short one. I mean, the civil war, you'd be North writers. You think so. Oh, I'd
have to ride with the South, man. You know, this civil war, there it is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Something kind of nice about it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You want to talk about the movie we did or no?
Yeah, we can talk about it, man.
What was I thinking about?
We did a movie.
Yeah, we did a movie when we talked about it a little bit last time.
Yeah, we did. Yeah, it's gonna come out
Maybe maybe not
We'll see. Well the strike is going on. You see what drew Barrymore what she did about her show
What she was gonna do it now she can't she's gonna do it. She's gonna see she all bullied into not doing I know
That's what's so great like I don't say I don't think bullies the right word. No, I don't think she's I mean
I don't think she should have done it. Like, how insane is that?
All right.
Guys to writers, I deeply apologize to unions.
I deeply apologize.
I wanted to own a decision so that it wasn't a PR
protected situation.
And I would just take full responsibility for my actions.
I know there's just nothing I can do
that will make this okay for those it is not okay with.
This is bigger than me.
And there are other things. That's wild, huh? That's wild, yeah. What do you think about it? for those that is not okay with. This is bigger than me. And they're under.
That's wild, huh?
That's wild, yeah.
What do you think about it?
So the reason that they're striking is because
it's like about residuals, it's about the AI
where they're using like, there's a lot of issues.
Right, there's a lot of issues.
And I believe, I mean, I'm supportive,
obviously, of the strike.
I'm both writers and actors.
With her, it's like like just what in her mind did she think that like even if like if I so was supportive of her decision
Not it's suicide
Like with Bill Martin. It's like suicide like just don't work. It's also on top of it dude. You're a millionaire
You can't wait a year like I don't have no idea what the fucking thought process is.
It's fucking crazy, dude.
It's like, I don't know, dude.
So what is the thought process that they just want
to still be able to work?
But it's not like, we all want to work, baby.
So then why would they even be able to work?
I think the justification is like,
because you can do reality shows right now, right? Those aren't effective. Spades is host to like because you know they're you can do reality shows right now right those are not effective. Yes, right. Just as host him. Yes, so spade is you can
do game shows. So in their minds are probably but the problem with that that those kind of shows
with Bill Maher and her show you need writers for bits. Right. They're not improvising it. Right.
Right. Right. So it's like and the writers are on strike. Yeah. So she's saying I'm going to go back
and do it and we'll just hire my own writers that are not or I'll improvise it. Wow. So she's saying I'm going to go back and do it and just hire my own writers that are not
or I'll improvise it. Wow. And at that point you kind of just are pot, you're you have a pot.
Like if you and I, if you and I, yeah, exactly, if you and I had our own show on HBO, which we should,
but if we had, yeah, and our own show on HBO, you and I would have a discussion like,
yeah, but we just make shit up anyway. So why can't we do it? Yeah. So I kind of get that,
but it's like at the end of the day, you and I would look at each other,
yeah, but just it's not gonna look good optically.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
So it's like, no, I don't know,
it's just fucked up, it's a weird thing.
Now, but also, I wanna say this,
she's feeling the pressure of people online
and that heat and she's worried that maybe my career is over.
I think that's fucked up too.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like am I canceled?
I mean, I'm not, I'm, I don't back that at all.
You know what I mean?
So it's like, she apologized, letter, apology.
Because you know, we have no room in our society
for redemption or like, you know, I'm sorry.
You know what I mean?
So she apologized.
So we're like, we're good.
Just don't do it again.
Yeah.
And Bill Mara apologizes, we're good.
But that's not what's gonna happen.
There's gonna be people in Hollywood as a mean,
I'll fuck her forever.
Yeah.
It's fucked up.
You know what I mean?
And Bill Mara, I think he's still going ahead
with his show, but his is just online right now.
I don't know.
Yeah.
No, no, no, no.
They're talking about his real time with Bill Maher on HBO.
That he's bringing back without writers,
and they're just not doing a monologue.
She's gonna be panel.
His podcast is on YouTube.
Oh, interesting.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm now, is that, I mean, what are people's arguments against it?
If he's just interviewing people,
well, then what's the problem?
I don't know.
Right.
Because you and I are doing that now, right? But we're not, that's a good question. Oh, I guess, because then what's the problem? I don't know. Right. Because you and I are doing that now. Right.
But we're not that's a good question. Oh, I guess because then maybe it's just still on television. It's like about that platform. I
just don't see how this just doesn't ruin or you know, hinder that whole platform even more. Yeah.
This is an interesting question. What if comics went on strike and we couldn't do stand up or podcasting?
What would we do?
Would we cross the line?
I think people would cross in the first week probably.
I know, because we're scowl.
We're scowl. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, I don, who right now can't do clubs because now clubs are booking people that can draw.
Which is like a business thing,
but back in the day, dude, stand up used to be this,
especially with the improvs.
We don't care if you can draw.
We want quality acts.
Is that true?
Oh yeah.
Back in the day, the improv was like that.
Like, we know so and so doesn't draw,
but we think he's talented,
so we'd rather have him than the guy that's gonna sell up.
But now it's all corporate shit.
Yeah.
The only book people that can draw.
That's why like YouTubers and shit,
you know what I mean, they have a fan base,
you know, sometimes I'll play a weekend somewhere.
Yeah.
Or at three o'clock we have a YouTube show and sold out.
Yeah.
I get that, you know, it's a business,
but it's like, yeah, three o'clock foods
he's gonna come in here and over there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But 30 years ago, they never did that.
They didn't care.
They were like, no, we only booked people
that are really good comments.
I remember when YouTubers were coming in
and doing comedy clubs.
And yeah, I think all of us were like a little bit like,
we were fat.
We were fat.
We were jealous, because they were selling the places out.
I know, I know.
And that was just, that was great.
It was before we were doing podcasting and stuff. because they were selling the places out. I know, I know. And that was great.
It was before we were doing podcasting and stuff.
And then,
but we took advantage of what they were doing.
It was funny because I used to go,
look at YouTubers ago,
my show's aren't sold out.
But JoJo Santana, I don't know,
is selling it out because he has a,
yeah.
And then it's like,
I would,
I would, I would, yeah, yeah. But then it's like, I would, I would, or Wilson or whatever, or whatever, or whoever, yeah, you know.
But then I was like, well, how do they do that?
Oh, online.
Oh, let's figure this out and we figured it out.
And we figured it out and now we did what they're doing
by putting out content and grabbing an audience that way
and we cut out the middleman, which is Hollywood.
Do you, do Do you do you?
Did you see those Mexican aliens?
You didn't see them? I have no idea what you're talking about. Mexico found the aliens.
Oh, other than Mexicans were aliens. Look at it right here. Let me see. I don't know, I, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. like an unboxed millions are Chinese like it's a market's brown leave video
First of all, why does that one have as best? I know but they're little and they have little Asian eyes and he's doing this
It looked like a Chinese dude who was using a straw and he got hit by a new clear attack
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Go back to it.
Whoa, dude, that's crazy.
So that they found it, huh?
Yeah, they found two aliens here and they presented them.
And he's that's insane, dude.
I love how there's like dirt around it.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
And one of them had eggs in it, too, they say.
No, yeah
Dude, I mean, do we go to do if any more information about him a come on good that guy looks like
Yeah, and look at he was raised face first in a in a tuna can
Yeah, wow dude, wow look at the little nostril. That's cute though.
Oh, I think.
Yeah, wish aliens look like that.
Oh, a lot of chicks, I'm sure have already been
in this aliens DMs for sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Would they show the dick?
Or I have to know the dick.
I mean, I bet it's pretty similar.
To what?
To Chinese people?
I don't know.
I know. Wow, what a cutie. don't know. Uh, yeah.
Wow, what a cutie.
And that looks like a government thing.
Was that like on like Mexican, it was Mexican government?
Yeah, they had like a government like.
Oh yeah, zoom in on that.
I wanna see that's the whole body.
Let me see.
No dick, look.
Ooh, some dick.
It could be a woman getting closer.
What do you mean?
There's a little pile of something.
Yeah, yeah.
God, they're so cute, huh?
Yeah, why have people been putting cigarettes out on him,
though, that's what I want to know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that's crazy, dude.
Look at the posture, too.
Good posture, I think.
Unbelievable.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just so like, dude, they can't fucking break dance.
I'll tell you that right now.
Imagine them do it.
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. You know what I mean? It's more of a mockerina. They can't fucking break dance. I'll tell you that right now. Imagine them do it.
You know what I mean? It's more of a mockery.
Mark, Mark Arena is something. Yeah. Yeah.
That's a cup of shuffle, maybe.
Yeah. Wow.
I, man, that's so interesting.
It's so interesting, dude.
Who do you think is most like aliens that's already on earth based on the looks of this creature
right here based on the looks? this creature right here. Based on the looks of this.
Oh shit, here we go.
People with progeria, really?
You know what that is?
Progeria, let's look it up.
You don't know what progeria is, is that disease?
Ooh.
And I'm gonna get in trouble for saying this.
No, you're not.
Yeah, watch.
When you see it, you're gonna be like, oh,
oh, that guy, huh?
Is that guy as progeria?
What is progeria?
Can you bring it up?
It's the age super quick.
Oh, you know what I mean?
It's like the reverse Benjamin button.
No, it's like Benjamin,
yeah, the reverse Benjamin button, maybe.
Progeria also known as Hutchinson.
You know, for progeria's button. Oh, dude, I've never seen a black one before. Let me see the black one. Extremely rare progressive genetic genetic. We're first Benjamin Button maybe. Progerie also known as Hutchinson. You offered Progerie as a son.
Oh dude, I've never seen a black one before.
Let me see the black one.
Extremely rare progressive genetic disorder.
I've never seen a black person with the Progerie before.
Let me see.
Look at this white guy in black face,
trying to do it, go down there.
We're right there, left.
That's not, what?
Back there.
That's a black guy with your right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not like,
well, the entire maybe think that it was a white guy.
I thought you were saying a white guy with Progeria
was doing black things.
You know, I thought it was a white guy doing black,
doing fake Progeria.
Oh, fake black.
Okay, okay.
I see.
Yeah.
What a, like what a condition, huh?
I can't.
So go back to what the condition is.
Can I look at it?
It causes children to age rapidly starting in their first two
years of life.
Children with progeria generally appear healthy at birth.
Wow, so it's a surprise.
I forgot to go down this lane.
Do you know what?
Harlequin etiosis?
Uh-uh.
Really? Don't even fucking look Google that then. Harlequin etiosis? Yeah, yeah. It's not a, uh. It's people that, Lane, do you know what? Harlequin itchiosis is. Uh-uh. Really? Don't even fucking look Google that then.
Harlequin itchiosis?
Yeah, yeah.
It's not a, uh, it's people that, um, you sure, you're talking about, it's not a movie
character, is it?
Joker's a girlfriend now.
Harlequin itchios is a, people born with like a layer of skin or something.
Oh.
Was it looking up?
Yeah, that's, yeah, that's what the baby looked like.
Oh, that's so sad.
Like, it almost has a,
don't do a joke.
I'm not doing a joke.
They have a, almost a Aztec look.
You know what I'm saying?
Like if you saw like art or it almost looks like a job.
Wall painting, like a cave wall painting.
Yeah.
Is that what you're saying?
A cave painting?
Yeah, that's not bad.
Yeah, that's sad.
Mom says, Tyler, is happy, smiley, despite painful skin condition. Yeah, but then they grow up to be,
they look, they, they, they can survive this condition. Oh, wow. Yeah, so, you know,
that's cool. That's amazing. Did you, um, or there were a lot of fears, uh, in your
culture of a lot of birth fears, or there are a lot of birth fears
that don't happen in other cultures.
Like, is there like a lot of like,
you know, do Chinese people do they have like,
well, can I ask you something?
Yeah.
And I honestly believe this.
I believe that you don't know what I am.
Because several times in this podcast you've referred to China and then you look at me. Do you think I'm Chinese?
I don't know if you are no
Be honest. I don't care if you are I know I know you know
I know you know I know that you don't care that I am okay
Yeah, I know that you don't care right? I mean I do care, but it doesn't matter It doesn't matter to you. You're welcome around me. I know you you don't care that I am. I know that you don't care, right? I mean, I do care, but it doesn't matter to you.
It doesn't matter to you.
You're welcome around me.
I know. You love me regardless.
But it is information that you should fucking memorize.
Okay, well, chill, bro.
It's information you should fucking memorize
because I've known you for 20 fucking or whatever, dude.
It's not about chill or not chill right? It's about
Memorize that shit dude because every time I fucking see you do this like China China you people in China
Why do you guys eat this you know me how come you guys run this way? How come you fly? You don't know to fly or whatever
Whatever your fucking said is I'll be happy to fucking answer those questions but memorize what the fuck I am.
My bad dude.
I'm Chinese.
I'm fucking new dude.
Dude, what do you do?
I'm Korean.
Are you really?
I'm Korean dude.
I'm fucking Korean dude.
So it's like, I will admit it.
Get it off your chest.
It's not a will just admit it. Get it off your chest. It's not a secret
Google it. It's not a secret what I'm saying is that every ever since I've known you
You think I'm some other fucking Asian like when I came in here. What'd you say mom long?
I'm on or something I'm not from mom. I walk in you. That's the first thing you fucking say to him.
Brother. It's insane. Dude. Memorize that shit. Let me ask you some questions and you tell me what they are.
Okay. Margaret Cho. Margaret Cho. Let me see. Cho. Cho. Cho. Cho.
I'm going to say, uh, well, I'm going gonna say Chinese.
No, no, no, no, no.
Let's forget it for a while more.
Let's try one more.
You want to try another one?
Yeah.
Here's a complex one.
Steve Burring.
I would say chyrish. Chyrish?
Yeah.
That's what you just said, chyrish?
Chinese in Irish.
No, dude.
Really?
Yeah.
Korean too.
Yeah.
Korean will surprise you then.
We got to write this down, huh?
Yeah.
He's chyrish. We got to write this down. Huh? Yeah, he's kairish. We got a right
He's tyrant not chyrish. We got to write this down
That you know the right right at no honest the joke bro. Let me let's be real dude. Yeah. I love you
Dude, I love you brother dude, right what I'm saying dude. Yeah, it's not something you need to write down
It's something that you could put in your brain. You know how you like memorize different kinds of corn
Yeah, right and like different kinds of corn. Yeah, right.
And like different kinds of like,
conditioned like white people conditions, you know what I mean?
Like bowl, leg,
and asthma, whatever.
Yeah, asthma, whatever.
You can memorize what people's, you know,
ethnicity is and their nationality and stuff.
Korean.
Exactly, dude, it's not hard.
Do Koreans do well around like what is the
Who is y'all's arch nemesis and the
In that like in the Asian realm do you guys have like a
Do you see realm it's like you're talking about
Lore the rings or some shit
It's really a realm. It's just a part of the world. You know me realm. Okay. really, it's not around, it's just a part of the world.
You know, I mean, realm.
Okay.
Yeah, it knows that okay.
Oh, sorry.
I'm just like, I'm just saying, you're like,
you, they were like a warlocks or some shit.
No, I don't know.
When you see a realm, dude, it's like,
I'm just saying, like what wizards don't you fuck with?
It's like, no, we're just a part of the planet.
How about this?
Yeah, don't say realm again.
Okay.
All right, it's crazy. But if y'all were in? Yeah, don't say Ramadan. Okay. All right. It's crazy. But if you all were in a
zoo, let's say that. Okay.
Don't say that. All right. All right. I can go with that.
You know, whatever you're on the zoo, too. Yes. Why people are in the
zoo to all the zoo. It's a huge. It's a huge. The aliens have
created a zoo. Yeah. And there's a white people like a few
zoom. There's two aliens in Mexico. Right. Okay. They created a
zoo. I think they can mix, you know, I mean, different
races in a environment. Okay. What you're saying to me is is that aliens would go to the human zoo
and go, let's go to the Chinese section. Yeah. You do that. Look at that.
Hot center. What do you think that? Oh, you're right. All right. So what they, yeah, you know what,
dude? They would probably have an Asian section. Yeah, and separate them
So they would probably put like the Vietnamese and Cambodians and the Filipinos in one section. Yeah, that's fair
Yeah, they would put but I think they would put the Chinese in its own section
That's a lot mm-hmm
And they would create some Japanese aftermarket to a lot of it what do do you mean? A lot of that's aftermarket isn't it?
What it was aftermarket.
Chinese, they make a lot of aftermarket products.
Can I talk about that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like if you want a replica of like a rear view mirror, something like that.
What would that have anything to do with them being in a fucking suit?
I'm just saying that you put them maybe in a special section.
Go on.
Because of the aftermarket?
I'm thinking outside of the box.
Oh, yeah, I think you're thinking too much.
I am.
I think the crayons and the Japanese would have to be, yeah, I think, you're thinking too much. I am.
I think the Koreans and the Japanese
would have to be separated.
But I don't know, because time has passed.
But you have to say the Japanese back in the day
did some fucked up shit.
Yeah.
They invaded China, they invaded Korea,
they invited, it's the Philippines.
You know what I mean?
But they've chilled over the years.
Now they're into like, hello kitty,
and you know what I mean?
And they're like, relaxing.
Relax.
Yeah, they're into relaxing. They like to relax,
did they don't have a military anymore?
Japan doesn't know. They have a military. I think the only kind of gun you can get in Japan
is a shotgun. And then you have to get a bunch, you have to do a bunch of classes and shit.
You know, my point is that they've chilled over the years. That's what the two bombs did.
And you know, shout out to Oppenheimer.
They've chilled over the years. That's what the two bombs did and you know shout out to Alpanheimer
Damn, so are you pro-opinheimer? No, no pro-opiniver. That was a fucked up
But I'm just saying that you know, yeah, man. I'm sorry. It happened. Yeah, right? So oh it feels horrible It does it's horrible. There's a lot of pain in the world
You tell me to so much pain in the world though. There's a lot of pain in the world. There's a pain in your life
You tell me, dude, someone's paid in the world, dude. There's a lot of pain in the world.
There's a pain in your life.
I think what's been going on.
I think the toughest thing for me probably
has just been thinking about getting married and stuff like that.
Is there anyone, is there anyone?
Right now that you want to marry?
No.
There's, you know, I kind of amendating somebody.
There's nothing I don't think.
But I think it's just a general fear of getting married.
Do you have that, you think?
I think when it comes to you doing it,
and at the end of the day, you and I are very similar.
And I think we have commitment issues.
Yeah.
I think you and I have exterior struggles that we relate to.
I don't know how you are with porn.
Is that an addiction for you, I don't know? I've watched a decent amount of it. Yeah, yeah. I've seen a lot. You could be a critic for
a newspaper. Yeah, there was a porn critic. You could be one. That's how much you've watched
it. Don't you think? I've seen enough. I don't need to see anymore. Yeah, you could write
articles. Yeah, I could read. Yeah, yeah. I think it's bad for you, but I don't think I need to see anymore.
I've been a little bit.
You know, bad for a little bit.
Yeah, I just, I watch it a little too much, but I'm, yeah, my point is that, and here's
another thing too.
It's like, I know, women like you, I hear it.
And yet, here you are alone almost.
I know what that is, dude.
Are you still in therapy?
Yeah, Tuesday's every other week at three.
Yeah, yeah.
So I don't know, but because you know,
I've known some of the girls,
I know you're not a vocal about it, I would never.
But I've seen you in situations like with people.
Yeah.
And some of these girls that you've seen,
I've liked. Really? Oh yeah. Like some of these girls that you've seen, I've liked.
Really?
Oh, yeah.
Like, I, I, there was one in particular years ago
where I went, I hope that happens.
Yeah.
I think I remember that one.
Yeah, I hope that happens.
It never happened.
Never happened.
So I think that you and I are, um, I think it just seems so scary.
I think, have you been married?
No, I'm not, you know, of course I'm not just seems so scary. I think, have you been married?
No, I'm not, you know, of course I'm not.
You know that.
You're gonna, I'm, man, you're gonna have to do.
Yeah, well, you gotta get married.
I got no, dude, I got somebody, maybe I will.
Maybe I will, dude.
Would you propose, where would you propose that?
Oh, shit, I'm never, you know, you know,
what I would do, dude? I would have Shen Lim do something.
Shen Lim the magician?
Yeah.
Yeah bring him up.
Shen Lim, I love things like that.
A lot of agents of you can just make two sounds
and then suddenly you can be a magician.
Yeah, yeah.
I want Shen to, because I love Shen Lim a lot.
He's so talented that guy.
Oh unbelievable dude.
So when I propose I'm gonna have Shen figure out how to do it.
You know what I mean?
But I want it to be a surprise
and I want some magic involved in it, you know.
And think about how easy he thought
his name up, Shen, right?
And it's in a limb, Shen limb.
Yeah, but limb is, anyway, spelled differently.
Without the B.
Like see the smoke stuff?
I would like to do that, but out of my dick or something.
Oh, you're like a vape, yeah, yeah. to do that but out of my dick or something. Oh, you're like a va- yeah, yeah. Yeah, I want to va- about on my dick and then like-
And then the ring forms, right? Right, right, your name and the side.
And I go stick your finger in the smoke ring. She sticks it in and then room.
And I go, will you marry me? Yeah. I imagine. Smoke coming onto my dick. That's how I'm
going to ask you about it. Oh, I love you that could happen. Yeah, how would you propose?
I think I would probably get
Probably something old school not on a cliff. I'm not doing anything on a cliff
Wait, wait, what'd it be a cliff? I've never even heard that just people always do proposals and then a lot of times
They it's like they fall yeah, there's an axiot.
I don't like that at all.
So that's too risky.
I would do something more ground like more sea level.
I would do, I don't know, you don't wanna do something
like, where you hide it in a soup or something.
I feel like that's kind of ridiculous.
Dude, I've never heard that before.
Really?
Like an alphabet soup?
Yeah.
But all the letters just felt like
marry me or something?
Do that be dope, dude?
Have shin work on it.
And then afterwards, it's marry me.
It floats the surface of the ring.
Hmm.
What do you think, dude?
That's never happened before.
Did you see, though, that one guy went underwater
and wrote marry me on a piece of paper
and he drowned trying to propose to his wife?
You see that?
No.
Let's see that.
There's no way that's a thing.
Oh, it's 100% is so sad.
God, man.
Don't cry.
I'm not.
It just makes me sad.
Louisiana man drowns after underwater marriage proposal.
You never got to hear my answer, his girlfriend said.
No, really?
Yeah.
That's a real thing.
A Louisiana man reportedly drowned it after he asked his girlfriend to marry him in
an underwater proposal.
She said in a social media post, they have the drowning on camera.
I guess some of it, yeah, but I guess part of it, you never emerged from the depths.
You never got to hear my answer.
Yes, yes, a million times, yes.
His girlfriend, Kanisha, and 12. Of course you're going to say yes. Yes, especially, a million times yes. His girlfriend, Kinesha and of course, you're going to say, yes.
Yes, especially.
What you just say, you know, even if you were going to say, no,
oh, we wrote it on the loose sleeve too, and Zee,
right, and put it like in a steepen with Weber or Weber.
Oh, dude, it's like, my eyes will just do it in an active volcano.
Like, well, that's the dumbest idea in the world.
You think? Yeah, dude, it underwater. Like, why would that dumbest idea in the world? You think? Yeah, do it underwater?
Yeah, I guess why do.
There's so many places on like earth,
I'm like on land that you could be original with.
Why would you do it in a place you could die?
Well, because then that adds an element of risk to it.
It's like, I'm gonna take a risk for this look.
Oh.
And you know what, I think there is something
to be said for that, you know.
And he was in an underwater bedroom.
Apparently there's a bedroom that's under water
and you get to, and you can, oh.
So he went outside of it,
wrote it down and proposed.
And I guess he couldn't hold his breath for very long.
Oh my God, so sad.
I can't even look at it.
Oh no, man.
He never emerged in Tanzania.
Oh.
How much time have we done?
I don't know about an hour.
We'll do a little bit more.
Why you do more than an hour?
Yeah, a little more.
Man, I'm hanging out with a buddy, you know?
Because you're gonna get to talk to you that much.
I'll see you next week.
You're not coming over tomorrow, it's the next week.
I'm gonna come to the meeting tomorrow.
Wednesday morning? Yeah. meeting tomorrow. Wednesday morning?
Yeah, please calm.
Wednesday morning is that noon?
It's that noon. Yeah, please calm.
I will.
That's awesome.
Is that going well for you, though, or no?
The program?
Yeah.
Yeah. You didn't go out.
I mean, how much time do you have now?
16 months, maybe.
Wow.
That's incredible, dude.
Because I'll have two years in January.
Will you?
Yeah, dude.
January 25th of two years.
Did you ever almost relapse or no?
I thought about it.
If you thought about it?
Yeah, I thought about it last weekend.
Yeah, yeah, I've thought about it.
So stressed that it's thought about just getting,
you know, ice cold beer.
Yeah, yeah.
It's not just beer.
It's like sometimes I'll be like,
people, you know what the thing is?
When people are on trums.
That makes you want to do it?
Yeah, like, cause I haven't had trums since I was 17 years old.
Like every time I relapsed, I never had it.
Really?
Which I should have done it then.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
But I've never had it.
So people are on trums now, where you know, and they go,
did a microdace and did?
Yeah.
You're like, oh, I don't know what that feels like.
Or like some of these other means, things like ketamine.
Yeah, ketamine therapy, boy. Yeah, ketamine or arm. Some of these things, but it's like, or like some of these other means things like ketamine. Yeah, ketamine therapy boy.
Yeah, ketamine or um, some of these things,
but it's like, but it's a brief thought,
and then I can just move on.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
But sometimes,
I see what you're on the road,
bro, and you're like at a bar.
Sometimes it's hard, but you know what I do.
I got a bar on the road, really.
You never? I don't go to a bar car on the road, really? You never?
I don't go to a car, really.
You got something like a couple of times
I've had girls go.
And you know, me and my friends are here.
We're at Charlottes plays or whatever.
And I'll go over there.
You will?
I'll go with their super hot, right?
And I'm at Charlottes plays and I try to act cool and stuff,
but it's like, it's not good.
And then they're drinking.
And sometimes I'm like, but then I thought to myself,
if I did drink,
I would probably do shit
that I will regret the next day, right?
Like, you know, hook up with somebody that.
Yeah, because you know, I'll be honest with you.
You and I are tastes have been sophisticated.
Or sophisticated, really?
It's like a fight.
You're not?
I don't know.
I think it is.
What do you mean when you say that?
What I mean is like, I like to date women
that are not just only attractive,
but that are bright and cool.
I have all the checklist of things.
I mean, I've had some suspect ones.
Have you?
Oh my god, yeah.
I mean, I can't talk about it, but I have.
Have you met a girl off of the DMs
and just went to a meta meter at night
in the middle of the night?
I did that a couple times.
Wow, was it scary?
I mean, I did some stuff I can't even talk about
on this podcast that were like, wow.
Like, I should be more careful.
Really?
Like crazy's.
Really?
Yeah.
Lady of the Nights, you know what I mean?
Wild Eye. Wow. Yeah. And is this, have you been to any like Really like crazy is really yeah lady of the nights, you know me wild. I wow
Yeah, and is this have you been any like sex dungeons or anything like that?
Like in here been anything no, I never been in the dungeon man a sex dungeon. That's not my thing. Yeah
Have you done that? No, I don't like dominatric. You know, it's so funny
My I'm just as a human being. I'm a very simple guy, dude.
Really?
I like a nice meal.
You know what I mean?
Do you eat the same thing every day?
It's funny.
If you look at my postmates and my door dash,
there are six places that I just rotate.
Like what are yours?
I like Mediterranean food about once a month.
So I go to Mediterranean, so I go panini and cafe.
Everybody in the panini?
Mm-hmm.
So I get kebabs there. Oh yeah, yeah. So I'll get like chicken so I go Panini Cafe. Everybody to Panini. Mm-hmm. So I get Kabobs there.
Oh yeah, yeah.
So I'll get like chicken or steak with Kabobs.
I'll get like a salad and then, you know,
they comes with the balsamic rice or whatever.
But I'll also get like cucumbers and hummus.
And like, so I do that, so I fuck with that.
Another thing that I go to is I'll do
one smash burger place.
Yeah, yeah.
I go to high hog.
Like Fatty Burger with.
High hog.
Yeah. Like Fatty Burger. They always, some of the names are high hog. Like Fatty Burger with. High hog.
Yeah.
Like Fatty Burger.
They always, some of the names are kind of offensive.
It's like, hey fat bitch.
Burger.
Like, you're like, what?
Yeah, yeah.
Like fat sales.
That's a place.
Yeah, fat burger.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't put fat in the fucking thing.
Yeah, that's a good thing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're right.
Yeah.
I don't go to those places that often.
Because of that work.
Yeah. Another place that I go to is like that then,
and then I'll do, I do sushi once a month,
I don't play, have you ever been to Austin Able?
Austin Able?
In Studio City?
No, I was a good, it's the best.
Really?
Yeah, I gotta take you there.
And then, I fuck with hot dogs, bro.
Really?
No, here's another thing.
You like glizzies, gobbler, huh?
Hot gobbler.
You like glizzies? I love it. Like here's another.izzy gobler huh I go up learn you like
glizzies I love it here's another I don't
know you're saying how many of you had so
many lizies glizzies I love the glizzies
pull up a glizzy dude what is it it's
like a it's like a hot dog at a black
guys house I think really yeah you
haven't heard glizzies though but you
know what I'm addicted to the fast food.
Harvey's dead.
Oh, there you go.
There's Adam.
What's his name?
Adam 22.
You know, there's a guy using one as a gun.
Yeah.
Glizzy gobler, homie.
Shit, dude.
A lot of Democrats eat it, huh?
I guess.
Fuck.
That's a grizzly.
That's easy.
Glizzy.
Yeah, that's a glizzy. I know you like like hot dog you like hot dogs? I like hot dog
Yeah, you like a dog. Hey like a dog. Would you rather be you think you think you could be Mexican or not
Pum pum pum pum pum pum pum. Dude put these glasses on. Let's be Mexican for a minute, dude
Okay
bro
Hey, how you doing? I know that. Hey, hold me. Hey,. Hey, are you doing?
I know that. Hey, oh me. Hey, oh me. Are you doing? I'm doing good brother. Hey bro. Yeah. Hey, what are you watching, bro?
Oh, but I'm watching right now son. I'm watching my teo play more shoes. Oh, yeah, bro. You know what I like bro?
Well, I like everybody. Oh, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like, I like piss of pluma you do I like
We would be so cool dude we would be the best
We've been the bit oh, oh
I want to say something to you and I wasn't gonna say this and I'm sorry you might have to cut this out
Yeah, but I have a I have dude
Who do I where's my camera right here? Yeah
Last night I went to the ice house
Have you been there? No, you know what it is. Yeah, they redid it. They redid it and
I wasn't gonna say this it broke my heart when I was there last night. Hmm
I'll tell you how
The fishers used to own that you know Bob Fisher. Yeah, do you remember him great guy great guy
It used to be like the comedy store, you know me like legend
They didn't change it when you walked in like oh, yeah, this is the ice house from back in the,
yesterday year.
It felt that way.
And I walked in there, it was like walking into like,
and as hotel.
They changed it.
Yeah, not only did they change it.
So I park in the alley where I used to go, right?
And I was like, I'm not, I'm not,
I know I'm not Dave Chappelle.
Right. I know I'm not Chris Rog, I know I'm not Dave Chappell.
I know I'm not Chris Rogg.
I know where I am in the comedy scale.
All right, but also I'm not an open mic or either.
I've been around and I've done some shit.
Yeah, okay.
So I park in the alleyway, then I go,
how do I get in the club?
I knock and there was a guy that works there.
He's like, yo man, what you want?
And I go, I'm playing in the main room, did I two shows?
You gotta go around.
I can use to open this, only comics I open that for.
I go, it's poppy Lee, yeah, go around.
So I finally get him to open it.
And he goes, you better be a comic.
Damn.
That's what the guy says.
So I go, okay, well, I walk around,
I don't know where to go.
So when I go to another person, I go,
where's the green room?
I was like, why would you need the green one for comics?
Not yeah, sort of hot. You think there was doing like a prank. No, that wasn't a prank. It wasn't a prank then
I walk around I see a fucking waiter that had been there in the old days
Mm-hmm. So where's the manager? The manager's sitting right in front of you and I look at him. He won't even look at me
Yeah, he doesn't say
Listen, I haven't been there since it's changed.
The assistant manager and the manager, they don't know who the fuck we are.
Wow.
And what I'm sorry, dude, if you're in a comedy,
you think we're getting too old, though, Bobby?
No, I'm not about that.
He's not about that.
It's not about that.
Because let me say something.
I was at Cleveland.
Maybe they're like they like Bryce Hall
or they're like fans of like, you know,
I don't know.
Oh, so they're only Trevor Wallace fans.
I don't know, I'm just trying to see.
Maybe we only like Taylor Thomas and Trevor Noah.
Yeah.
People that are in their 30s and 30s,
I don't think so, dude.
Okay.
Because when I went to, I went to three days ago,
I went to, I was in Cleveland,
and I went to a restaurant, and it was next to Hellarities.
And I looked at Jesse Johnson and I go,
let's go to Hellarities, I wanna introduce you.
When I walked in there, I wasn't playing there that weekend.
The owner comes, gives me a hug, gives Jesse a hug,
they give me a tour, they go, whatever you want,
we love you, they're like family to me
Yeah, then I
Jesse Kursan was performing just get cursed at the person I wanted to go say hi hugdur right?
You know me it's family. That's what we are, dude. This is what it is
Yeah, when I walked in the ice house dude
It was like I went into like a place. I wasn't to be, right? And then like Whitney and Natasha was there too.
And they, I mean, I didn't get deep into it, but I feel like they felt the same way.
Yeah.
So my point is, is that change your shit, man.
Wow.
It just was speck full, bro.
Wow.
See, don't act like you don't know the, I don't belong there.
Yeah, I mean, I think it's strange.
If you go somewhere, you don't feel like you belong, then you won't want't belong there. Yeah, I mean, I think it's strange. If you go somewhere and you don't feel like you belong,
then you won't wanna go back, man.
I'm never gonna go back.
Wow.
And I'm sorry, you know, it's so funny.
It's like, I have these little weird things.
I mean, and maybe I need to go to therapy about it
because I get mad about little shit like that.
Oh yeah.
No, I'm being real, I get, there's little things,
like one time I was playing Bellevue, Parlor Live. Oh yeah, I've been up there before and that guy falls asleep sometimes. Yeah, yeah, I'm being real. I get, there's little things, like one time I was playing Bellevue,
Parlor Live.
Oh yeah, I've been up there before and that guy falls asleep
sometimes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
and then the second show I did there, so I did a show Thursday,
Friday night at the first show, second show I left, came back,
and they wouldn't let me in the club.
And the dormant goes, Amen, we're sold out.
And I go, on the headliner.
Like, you know what I mean?
Yeah, what do you think?
I'm just some fucking lost fisherman.
Right.
When that shit happens, I don't know why,
but I lose my shit, dude.
I just, I don't know, is that me?
Is that you?
I'm not just that to them.
I don't know.
I know, is it ego?
It could be ego.
I don't know.
But we all have ego.
Ego gets scary, man.
That's a scary part about all of it.
I think your ego can be so dangerous.
It's like a, you know, it's a party that grows
and not even know what's going on.
Yeah, I've been, it's funny.
When I was reacting like that last night,
I tried to like,
stay in the moment and go, are you overreacting?
Let's be, you know what I mean?
Let's see what this is about.
And then I realize, no, it's fucked up.
Yeah.
I do spend time and I go, listen, where are you at?
What's your part to play in this?
Well, I think places are just having tough times
hiring people all the time.
You'll go to a bakery now and the guy working there
like does like oil changes.
You know, like I think people don't have like people that know comedy working at comedy clubs anymore. like you'll go to a bakery now and the guy working there like does like oil changes, you know?
Like I think people don't have like people
that know comedy working at comedy clubs anymore.
Like people are just hiring whoever they can, you know?
No, but that's ridiculous because it's like,
if you go to the laugh factor improv,
they cannot, there's not a single moment in my life
where I've walked in the laugh factor
and they go, no, you're not allowed in here.
It's always like, they don't say anything
because they just know you belong there.
But they have a history of knowing that you've been in there,
I think, you know, and I think this is...
I've been going to the ice house since I was in my 20s,
but I think that you, these people, I don't know, dude.
But I think, yeah, it's like you got a guy who's working at,
you know, you got a guy who works at Jiffy Loop now working
at the Breit Bakery counter.
You said that a bit.
I'm just saying you got a guy.
It's a weird analogy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
What do you mean, like, I'm in a bank run like,
Hey, bro, why you used to look at Juffie Loops?
I don't know how to make bread.
Is that what you're saying?
No, I'm just saying.
You'll have a guy like, hey, bro, you want,
you need two quarts in your absence.
All right, then you're able to,
or I'm a fritter.
I think you're saying.
Like I think you're saying,
best deal what you're saying.
If people who don't know what's going on,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Give a butcher working at the barber shop, you know.
Yeah, I don't need much, dude.
All I need, this is what I need on a comic club, right?
I don't need, you don't even have to be a fan.
You know what I mean?
I don't need people to go, I'm a big bombing event. In fact, there's a lot of people that don't think I'm funny club, right? I don't need, you don't even have to be a fan. You know what I mean? I don't need people to go, I'm a big bombing event.
In fact, there's a lot of people
that don't think I'm funny at all, right?
I know that, I don't care.
But, just at least treat me like I am a comic
that I belong to this place that, you know, it's crazy.
Right.
Well, I think that it is you get people
that don't even know about comedies.
Like I'm a door guy, I'm a balance or whatever. I'm a chef
But I was talking about the manager and the assistant manager didn't know and then finally the manager comes up to me
Goes, hey man, I heard you were upset. I go. Yeah, I mean I walk in here. This is 45 minutes now. I meet you
Yeah, he's like, what's your problem? And I go?
Well, I mean I haven't been here since you guys changed. I've been coming for three years
You would think that the manager would be like,
hey, this is what's changed about it.
Right.
And he goes, well, I could show you around now.
Yeah.
I got too late.
Yeah.
Well, we want things when we want them, dude.
I got to ask you this, go on.
What about Joe Biden falling asleep all the time?
How weird is it?
Do you think it's weird we continue to put him out there
as like a, like, as he's a normal dude? It starts to feel like really mean,? Do you think it's weird we continue to put him out there as like as he's a normal dude?
It starts to feel like really mean, don't you think?
It's a thirst trouble, you're doing.
Not at all man.
I'm not gonna bite the bait.
Do you think it's a bad thing to talk about?
I just think it's my, here's a deal, okay.
Both options. I don't like. But to me, one guy is still the lesser of two evils.
That's all I'm going to say. Okay. What do you think? I think that it's wrong to put a guy
out there who is not doing well mentally right now.
It seems like he needs, it just seems like he's suffering.
And no matter who the person is, it's a bad look at how we treat our old people.
If we put a guy out there who it seems like has dementia, I could be wrong.
Maybe a lot of videos I see are edited.
I think so.
But the other day he said, I'm going to sleep.
I'm going to bedy bed right now.
Yeah, because he was tired.
That's what people told me. I say that too when I go, I'm going to bedy bed right now. Yeah because he was tired that's what people told me.
I see that too when I go I'm going to bedy bed.
Yeah yeah yeah.
I see it right.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Just see it yeah.
If you don't know what you want at the meeting, if you don't have a game plan, he may
have a game plan.
He just hasn't shared it with me.
But I tell you what I don't know about you, but I'm going to go to bed.
Yeah, that's what people say.
That's a good point.
Yeah, we talked about, we talked about,
we talked about at the conference overall,
we talked about stability,
we talked about making sure that the third world.
It made me smile, I never mind.
I mean, if you go, hey, Joe Biden, how's life?
I'm a tech window instructor. Yeah. Like if you use like answering questions like fun, never mind. I mean, if you go, hey, Joe Biden, how's life? I'm a tech window instructor.
Yeah.
Like if you use like answering questions like that,
then I'd be like, oh, dude.
So you need another level.
I need another level of crazy for me.
Because even when Mitch McConnell froze,
later they did a cognitive thing
and other centers are like, ah, he's fine.
Yeah, he just freezes it.
Freezes everyone's in a while, dude.
Oh, dude, if I've had a lot of ice cream,
I fucking get on Mitch McConnell.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mitch McConnell was the quarterback for the,
you know, L.A. chargeers, and you freeze during a play,
then that's one thing.
But you could freeze every once in a while as a politician.
You're right, dude, we're kind of overreacting.
I think we're overreacting.
We got some pictures that we made.
We made, we got some AI pictures
of a lot of comedians put together.
Good, cool.
That we're being children. Let's check it out, dude. Yeah, we've, we got some AI pictures of a lot of comedians put together. Good, cool. That were being children.
Let's check it out, Dave.
Yeah, we've been playing around with AI.
We asked it to show us scenes from
famous comedians from their childhood.
Okay, cool.
Do I guess without it, oh my God.
Oh, that's so, can I, can you set me that?
We'll see what we can do.
No, can you set me that?
I don't know if we have a copy of it.
They have a top. That's
me, right? That's you. Dead dude. This is AI. What AI thinks your childhood was like. It
makes me heartwarming. That's very handsome. Very cute. God, you were cute. And look what
you were eating too. Go back and see what he was eating. Wow. Wow. That looks like shoulder
of a mere cap. It looks very. I'm not going to say illegal. Yeah, but do I look Korean or Chinese there?
Mm.
Okay, let's move on.
Next one, cute.
Okay, that's you.
That's pretty good, dude.
You again?
That's really good.
Awesome.
Okay, there we go.
Oh, that's we go. Oh
That's so funny that they they just Caleb and yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, that's a great picture. Yeah, Chinggillus
Shenggillus is Civil War. That's amazing. Let's see if I look zoom in
Who is that
Shenggillus again,. See you the next one.
That's, uh, David Spade.
Oh, that's David Spade.
Oh, I know that guy.
He's not for its average.
It's not?
No.
Do you know who it is?
Yeah.
Oh, I know.
Can I guess?
Yeah.
Samarro?
Oh, that's a great guess.
It should be.
It's Mark Norman.
Mark Norman? We can all
Can we guess
Tom Sagarah
Oh shit, that's um
That's a Chelsea. Yeah
That bike is cool, huh? Fuck, who's that?
I don't know who that is. Huh?
It's Hannah Gatsby.
Ha!
Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
Isn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
Now, that's Hannah Gatsby now.
Who is that?
Stover of South-East.
Oh, I said that's good, that's good, that's good, okay.
I'll buy that.
That's awesome.
Next.
Tim Dylan.
Yeah, Timmy D, boy. That's it it for these and then we also asked to show us older
what you'll look like when you're old. Okay, cool, cool. That's good. I can handle it.
Yeah, that's me. Oh, I took that photo. You did? Yeah. Yeah, it sources from like what's out there
on the internet. Wow. I hope you okay. Yeah, that's me. You look at you making the sporting equipment. Yeah.
And we asked it to advance to end of life.
Oh, what are the odds you were just saying earlier with you not having any legs?
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's end of life.
How'd you lose your legs, you think? I didn't lose them.
They're inside my body now. Oh, they are. I got the operation. Oh, it's beautiful.
Yeah.
We got old Theo. Oh, they are. I got the operation. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah We got old B.M. Oh
Damn dude, it's getting bad. It's getting bad, dude. Oh
Andy
That one looks exactly like how he's gonna look that's what it's gonna look like. Yeah, that's what Andrew's gonna look like
Oh That one looks exactly like how he's gonna look. That's what it's gonna look like, dude. That's what Andrew's gonna look like. Oh, that does no way when he's gonna look like that.
That isn't Whitney, man.
That's your ex-wife.
Is that Kalilah?
Yeah.
Oh, fuck, she's hot.
She moved out, man.
All right, let's move on, dude.
I wanna talk about that anymore.
Oh, Joe.
But that looks like Robert De Niro, for you know.
Yeah, let's go.
Oh, that's Jay Big J. Yeah. Oh That's a J big J. Yeah, yeah, he looks the same looks the same. Yeah, looks great
Gabriel oh
Oh Joey
Joey.
It's gonna be sad, don't. Shane, go out.
Oh, what are you gonna do?
What a sad, a good woman.
Yeah, there is something to say about it.
Yeah.
You know, it's weird as we enter the second half
of our lives, Bobby.
That's what I'm, I'm in the last, I'm in the last,
do I mean the last chapter right now,
to think about what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna last year, whatever.
Yeah, it is, it's the end.
Do you start to think, I mean, is there any,
do you feel honestly, dude, like really? Do you feel like it's time for you to have a family? Like it's the end. Do you start to think, I mean, is there any, do you feel honestly, dude, like really?
Do you feel like it's time for you to have a family?
Like it's time for you to, I think it is.
I'm ready.
I'm not only am I ready for it, but it's like, I want it.
I want it, and also, because I'm good with kids, dude.
I mean, this girl that I'm seeing now has a kid.
Really?
Yeah.
And how tall is the kid?
Pretty tall. Wow. You know, and I'm really good with him. I you know, we got our kids and
We talk about Pokemon and then we also do these stuff and we play with the stuffed animals in his room before he goes to bed
Oh, man, and I like all that stuff and I think that I could be a good dad then
I'm not good at the disciplinary stuff. I'm not good at like, I probably wouldn't get up in the morning and make lunch, but I'll
pick them up from school.
And I think that I could have seen some white shit, you know what I mean, but yeah, but
you know what, the love would be there.
I think the feels the same with you.
I think would change your lives, dude.
Do you think it would change your life?
Yeah, I think it would, man.
I think it would.
What do you think's been the scary thing for you
And I mean, I'm happy to talk about it for me too, but like what's the scary thing you think about going there about good like doing it
You know, it's stuff. I have to give up right I got to give up the starfield and
And it started to vali in video games
I can't play it as much. Yeah, I think that I would have to change my sleeping schedule.
Like today I woke up at 130.
Oh yeah.
Oh dude, you have this sleeping schedule
with a warm bat, I feel like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I do.
So to the change that,
and I think I would change my language.
Really?
Yeah, I'm filthy.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, like yesterday, I also behavior.
So yesterday, me and Jesse, you know how sometimes you have to take a rental center to the
airport, you have to take a tram, you know what I mean?
So we were one of those shuttles.
It was packed, completely quiet, and literally, I'm standing, me and her are the only standing
angle watch this.
And I bent over and I ripped a fart
that was so loud and it made it so uncomfortable.
And me and Jesse were laughing, but everyone was pissed.
They were pissed?
Yeah, I mean, there was one dad that was like dying laughing
because it was so loud, but it's like, I do that all the time.
And at the change, probably that.
Dude, I don't always, I feel like the thing that,
that's like the, you wanna,
everybody wants to really rip one in like a public setting.
Yeah.
You know, let the God speak, you know?
Yeah, I would not.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, so it's like,
but do you think you could really do that
and could you live in a house where when you wake up
and your wife is right there with you in bed?
And then like, then if you go in the kitchen,
she's also in the kitchen.
Yeah, and also that sounds disturbing to me.
She's everywhere.
Like that's the part to me for some reason
that feels overwhelming.
And also number two, I noticed because,
you know, the girl that I'm saying now,
she's showing her best side.
You know what that's what they do.
And I'm showing my best side.
Like I don't do fucking gook rippers, you know what I mean?
In front of her.
What is that below and about your nose or something?
No, just fart.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
I don't do like, you know, some of my natches should.
Yeah.
I say, you know, I, I showered the best sides of me.
Yeah.
Right.
And, um, and then, you know, what happens is you,
you commit to the person and you guys live together.
And that's when, oh, she's in every room.
Oh, now it's a problem that I'm playing video games too much.
Yeah.
And all those things that come up.
So I'm not really interested in that.
I'm not doing that.
But are you going to let them know first?
This is kind of how I live my life.
Like that's a scarier thing as we get older is I hear from my friend.
You haven't got married to other older is that it gets harder to get like, like,
the, it gets harder to match with somebody because you have too many, you know,
but when you, I've thrown my boundaries out there already. I've never done this before. So I've set the many, you know. But when you, I've thrown my boundaries out there already.
I've never done this before.
So I've set the like, you know,
if I ever get married, we're sleeping on two separate beds
in two separate rooms.
Yeah.
And they're like, well, that's weird.
I just think that it's better.
If I have to go on the road or I'm playing video games
all night, I don't want to keep you up, right?
And you do your own thing. So it's like, that's that. Yeah. And if they don't like keep you up, right? And you do your own thing.
So it's like, that's that.
And if they don't like that,
well then it's not gonna work out.
Yeah.
I mean, there's just certain things that like,
also, but another thing that I do is,
you know, I'm like, but you know what, dude?
Every meal I pay for, whatever you need, you'll have.
Wow, huh?
Whatever you need, you'll have.
Unlimited dim sum.
Dim sum, and you can do whatever you want.
I will support you.
Yeah.
If you're like, you know what, me and my son,
we want to go to Canada for like,
and he's never seen Vancouver.
I'll fund it.
Go, go, go, go.
I don't give a fuck, right?
But it's like, don't get into my shit
and tell me when to sleep, when to wake up,
do any of that shit, dude.
What do you think?
I think, yeah, I think the scary part is just like,
I don't know, I never wanted to anybody to be at,
like I never, I don't know,
I always like kind of being by myself,
I always like being able to do whatever I wanna do.
Yeah, well, what about this then?
But at a certain point, it's pretty lonely.
Yeah, let me ask you this, could you do this?
Could you do, this is your part of the you do, this is your part of the house,
and this is my part of the house,
and then you design your part the way you want to design it,
and every once in a while,
because sometimes in a week,
we'll meet in the middle of the house,
have meals, smash, do whatever, hold hand, or whatever.
But for the most part, I want to stay on your side,
you stay on your side, Would that be good for you?
Like a red rover, red rover.
Kind of like a red rover, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like red, red, red, red, I'll see you at dinner.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think I could maybe do something like that.
Yeah, but they would never go for it.
You'd have to meet a girl that wouldn't want to do that.
But I also, I have a problem sometimes of being up like saying what I need in the beginning
So it's like then things get going and it's like I don't say what I need you know, and it's like that's what I'm telling you to do it now I've been trying to do it now like this is my thing
Also, here's another thing I say upfront
You can never say hey
Can Sunday nights be about us and not do stand up? No. Stand up will end my business
and my career will always be first. Be first. Really? Like if it's your birthday, yeah, our
anniversary, yeah. If someone dies and your uncle Jimmy dies and we have to go to his funeral, I'll go.
You can smoke, there I'll go.
Right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I also want to dress the way I want to dress.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm going to wear my poncho on my fucking cowboy app,
or oh, but my point is, is that,
so there's certain things like that,
but it's like, no, I'm, it's literally what I do.
And it's who I am, podcasting and stand up and acting.
Like imagine a girl going, yeah, you can't do that movie because it's our anniversary.
You told me you're going to we're going to go to paradise.
I don't know.
I'm doing the movie.
You know what I mean?
So you got to say that upfront.
Do you think you'd be willing to spawn your own child to hatch your own prawn as they say?
I have proof, but I'm not going to tell you what it is.
My comment is strong, my friend.
Really?
So you can do it, so.
Strongest fuck, dude.
Wow, boy.
Boy.
Mm, it's good.
We got that dim yum on you.
Yeah, I got dim yum still.
Ooh.
How about your comb?
I don't know.
It looks a little risky sometimes, but I haven't really
like gotten in there and, you know, I haven't gotten in there
with like a,
like a magnifying glass or anything. Yeah, you know what, do that. You can go to the fucking doctor and do it, I think.
You don't have to do your own home kit. I think you just put it under like a microscope.
Yeah. Can you see if your semen works well just at home?
You don't think you can?
I'm sure you can, but I just never heard like a home kept.
But why drive over to somebody's place?
You don't really know.
Wait for the doctor.
Waste a load at his house.
Okay, here we go.
There you go.
And what's the rating?
Like, how much, what's the max you can get?
But that's on a chart though, is it?
Oh, normal range.
Yeah.
That's something I think about, dude.
But you gotta still have that.
I have it still.
You gotta have some beef in the batter, huh?
I still got some beef in there, dude.
Yeah, how to test sperm count.
Oh, you can do with water even.
Oh, you come in water?
It's show, yeah, you can use that. Oh, you come in water? It's show, yeah, you use that.
Oh, they're like sea monkeys?
Yeah.
Welcome to the zoo.
Yeah.
Yeah, man, I'll take your order.
That's what I feel like the zoo would be like in
on a different planet.
Oh, and well, a different country.
I feel like an Asian zoo would be like,
welcome to the zoo.
Can I take your order? Yeah. And feel like an Asian zoo. I'm like, welcome to the zoo. Can I take your order?
Yeah.
And they'd have great food. They'd have the best food.
What the photo down there, is that what sperm looks like?
Yeah, let's get that sperm. Let's see a real close-up look
a real sperm. Can you Google that?
High-res sperm?
Dude, that's high-res right there. Look at that.
Whoa, dude.
Whoa, dude.
Papa got a brand new bag, huh?
Whoa, dude.
That's crazy.
They look great, huh?
I think it looked pretty good.
Yeah, yeah.
Wow, it's very...
And the ovary looks like the sun.
It looks like one of those bosses on Breath of the Wild.
Yeah, maybe, yeah.
You know?
Yeah, yeah.
Or when that moon comes up, you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah.
No, those yellow Asian sprouts that you,
a Korean restaurants.
Oh, yeah.
We had a couple of news stories.
Those were anything good and then we'll get Bobby out of here.
Do how long do you go for podcasting?
Yeah, hours?
I do 50 minutes.
You do?
Yeah.
What is this?
Why do you do it like this?
I don't want to get to fucking hang out with you.
I know, I'm gonna see you again.
Will you?
Yeah, dude.
What is this?
Why do you do it so long?
It's fun.
It's.
You're on the phone, right? I think of these guys, they want it. What do you do it so long? It's fun. It's... You're on the phone.
Look at these guys, they want it.
What do you guys think?
Wow! You should, feel me, I'm Instagram famous, you fucking bum. You missed your shut up, I'm a fucking shot. Wow.
I'm not shocked at people.
I mean, planes are getting weird, huh?
Yeah.
People are stressed out and people are not used to being
around each other in person anymore.
People are starting to get, I think this is what's happening.
Okay, tell me.
Online people can say whatever they want, right?
So when it gets back and there are people people online more than they're in real life these
days.
So when it gets back to being in real life, people think they should be able to say whatever
they want to online, but they can't because it's not the same setup.
And it makes it creates this weird, uncomfortable, you know.
Does that make any sense?
Yeah. What she just said, I'm Instagram famous too.
I think people are entitled to,
like that bitch thinks she's entitled to say mouth off like that.
Right, I think, yeah, people think she's better than the people
that are in the fucking plane.
Yeah.
We're all the same, man.
Yeah.
You know, so it's like,
that's why everybody should have to carry a piece of their own shit with them.
Cause then nobody would think they're better than anybody else.
That's interesting.
In a bag, they're not like out like in the open.
I think in the open, dude,
cause if somebody's got a nicer bag than somebody else,
somebody's gonna have their ship,
but that's what you could make a bag.
Yeah, how about this?
Like, no, it's not, no, how about this is the best way.
Somebody's gonna have a fendee turd or whatever. We have, it make a bag. Yeah, how about this like no, it's not no, how about this is the best way to have a
Fendi turd or whatever we have it's a law, okay, right?
It's like you know um an
Altoid box. Yeah, so it looks like an Altoid box, but it's see through it's like completely
clear you put your poo in there, but it's in sealed then you wrap it around your neck
and it's like a bling right right? But everyone has to have one.
I think that would humble people.
Like some people might have like things in it like peanuts.
My mind has peanuts.
How about yours?
Yeah, but you guys use a lot of peanut
and a lot of sauces and stuff.
Yeah, but you're just a solid brown.
No, I think mine, I tend to run a specific color
like during certain seasons of the year, I think.
Oh, but spring is different.
But I think if you had to carry it in your hand,
it would be very, okay, that's ridiculous.
I mean, that's insane.
Yeah, that lady seems like she's nuts.
On to the next story.
Yeah.
Lower and more bird.
I know about this.
Oh, yeah.
She's the Colorado Red.
Yeah, I know somebody was young in on them,
somebody who was handing on them yummers, baby.
Yeah, so this is the actual the surveillance video
Yeah, somebody was hamming on the porch milkers, baby
God
Do you think she should apologize for this?
No, it's another here's another thing. Let me say something. Okay. It's another thing of entitlement
She's a comic congresswoman. I can vape because you wait she vape in there too, right? I can vape in there. I can mouth off.
You know what I mean? I'm above everyone else. I can, you know,
behave in a way that's on a pocket, you know, just because I'm a congresswoman.
But do you think she should be able to get her breasts felt in public? Is that
if that's not had a line of her or the man want to consensually do it in the dark?
If her titties are being rubbed in the, in the theater, that's not how to line it for the man want to consensually do it in the dark. If her kiddies are being rubbed in the theater, that's fine.
If that wasn't the thing, that was the only thing
that'd be fine, but she was acting a fool too,
like vaping and heckling, dude.
Yeah.
Wasn't she heckling?
I haven't seen heckling, I just heard vaping and grow up.
All right, well, that's,
wow.
Yeah, boy, she got the bomb tonsils on her baby,
you know what I'm talking about?
Yeah.
She got them reed. Would you marry her? I don'm talking about yeah, she got them really would you marry her?
I don't know if I would marry her. I don't know her. I don't know her either but I you know, you know, I
I'd look I'd probably I'd go see a flick also watch the movie Beatles do why would what you want to go to a little play?
That's true. Yeah, I don't know if she's my type. I don't know
Yeah, no, that's not my thing
But apparently she's got the big dippers, baby.
All right, anything else, brother in the news?
This is just something going on right now. There's a jet that's missing that just went missing.
Oh, yeah, they're asking the public's help for that. That's the weird thing. What's missing?
A jet. Was it F-35?
Yeah, it's a fighter jet just went missing over South Carolina.
The pilot ejected safely, but I guess they just found debris of it.
Yeah.
Well, if you eject it, then he's fine.
It's probably the four or so miles.
The pilot's fine.
They can't find the plane.
They left it on.
Read it.
Let me see it, Zach.
Yeah, this just came in.
They're starting to find a little bit of debris
in South Carolina, but they haven't found the whole plane.
But it was crazy that we're asking the public,
have you seen our plane?
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
Dude, it's getting to this weird space where,
oh, did you see that mosque like charged for Twitter?
Did you see that?
Yeah, I'm putting two years because they installed my account. Oh, did you see that mosque like charge for Twitter? Did you see that? Yeah, I'm a Twitter for two years because they install my account.
Oh, they did?
Yes, some guys running my Twitter account for two years.
I can't get it back.
Really?
Yeah, and they're now selling computers on it.
So I haven't been on my Twitter.
And I have Twitter hire professionals to get it.
Yeah, I'll give you 10 grand.
Get me there like we can't do it.
You're guys, yeah.
Anyway, what do you think about this?
I'll suggest you will charge,
because he's saying this is the only way
you can get rid of bots.
Is that what he's saying?
Elon Musk may flip the switch to make X,
the social network form in the Twitter
and entirely subscription based platform.
I mean, that way, I maybe I can get my fucking account back
to your point, because the guy that stole it,
I wanna pay for it.
To your point.
That's what he's saying.
He's saying, nobody's gonna pay for all these bots
and if you have to, we can scroll up some.
Musted and mentioned the timing of his plan
to charge Twitter users,
nor did he say how much it would cost.
I think that's a great idea, dude.
Because it's like people can like,
you know, like, you know, I know dudes
that like comment shit, like dudes that like
rip me apart, right?
Right. And then like I blocked them, but then just create another account.
Because I can tell that's the same guy at the end of the language and their aggression.
You know what I mean? So maybe that's a good way to do it, dude.
Because apparently the advertising sales, I guess, because he's the CEO, people think he's,
I guess, maybe they don't politically align with them, or they just don't allow them.
It says 50% that ad sales have plunged.
We're still negative cash flow advertising revenue.
Maybe Twitter will go down like fucking vine.
I don't think it can though.
Why?
I think you got to have it stay up if people can just talk on it.
Where else would people be able to communicate the one I'm doing?
Truth social dog.
What's that?
What you're on? Is it good? Okay, it's Trump's one. Oh it is. I do I do I do belong to it, but I only do it so I can read
The crazy shit
Why just I just love seeing like people go like like I just love the things that people say you know that you know
The Q&A people yeah, I like really really crazy ideas. There's some deep stuff in there
I don't know enough about it, but what is this?
Go down a little bit more.
I just wanted to see one more thing that he said here.
X is other benefits.
One of the chief perks of X blue
is getting verified check mark,
but everybody can pay for their check mark now.
I think they're saying if there's less,
if he will pay for it,
that there won't be as many bots,
because he's trying to get all the bots off of the app.
Oh, so can I just see about checkpoints and stuff like that?
It's like the whole point of it was because,
and I'm not, I mean, I don't care
when we're in another, but it's like,
the reason why, you know, we,
I wanted to check marks because 40 dudes were like,
making accounts with my name.
And I want people to know that this is the real one.
But now, all the people are like,
I wanna check Mark too,
because it's like a sign of privilege or being cool.
But it's like, why?
Yes, and it's like my wife died in a fire.
I need a check.
You know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They think that anything,
I guess it's a, it's a feeling of like, I'm important.
I mean, I know a comic that like, never got a checkmark
because this wasn't big enough and then like,
but then now he pays for it, now he feels great.
But fine.
I don't know why.
Dude, let's go, I gotta eat it.
This is insane, I think, two hours.
I didn't even hear two hours.
We've been here one hour and 21 minutes.
That's not true.
It is.
He's under two hours We're under two hours.
Right under two hours.
Yeah, we're 40.
Hour 40.
That's fun.
I'm gonna be on, yeah, go promote.
Tiger belly.
Next week, right?
Yeah.
Or tomorrow.
And let me see.
Next week.
Next week.
Yeah, I don't know when it'll come out though.
It's fine.
And then also, I want to also say that, dude, I mean, I'm just so when it'll come out though. It's fine. And then also, I want to also say that dude,
I mean, I'm just so proud of you're killing it.
Thanks man, you guys are too, dude.
We're doing pretty good.
I think we're all good,
but I look at you and I go,
oh my, I remember me and Andrew the other day,
we're like watching one of your crowds.
Like it was pretty crazy.
Yeah, and we were like, holy fuck, I mean,
it's like you can just tell,
it's a completely different deal
Dude, thanks for guess what then what you don't intimidate me at all
Really I don't go fuck dude. I'll fucking hide drugs up your ass, but when I know you remember honestly
I'll hide drugs up your ass and throw you over the border. No, no, no, no, what happens man? You know what I'm saying
I'll say this though. You've been touring a lot more. Thank you, man. I feel lucky for sure and throw you over the border. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what, no, here's why I like it. I like it because, you know, honestly,
if I wasn't touring, I would just be like,
I'm a loser or whatever, but, you know,
it's nice to go out because then you realize,
because an L.A. no one says anything.
But when you go out in the world,
like people are like, I'm a fan and you kinda go,
oh, well, maybe I am reaching an audience and stuff.
So it feels good in that way.
I like meeting people and hugging them and going
and talking to them, like, thank you for listening.
And you get to like, because we do meet in Greece.
I don't know if you guys do those.
Yeah, and it's like, it's good to hug people and go.
Thank you so much for your support.
And it makes me want to keep going.
So it's nice.
It's cool in that way.
We had a guy that got hit by a train
and I got to meet him recently.
Yeah. He came out.
Yeah. He walked. walked he's walking bro
Okay, walking
Walks across a train track train hits him mother farm had headphones on listen
Got to meet him there he is right there, buddy
That's it rail baby. They call him
That guy got hit by a train. Yeah, he did he looks so but I mean so small
I could go like more of them before he got it just mean, he's so small. Man, I don't know. I did a lot more of them before he got hit.
He just kind of flew off of it on.
I don't know what I'm gonna know.
He got drilled for the good man.
He's an American hero, dude.
Yeah.
And, uh, but yeah, you'll meet people that are calm,
people let you.
One lady, let me hold her tit with a Sodom arm,
the other day, biggest tit you've ever seen.
That's it.
You see people with, we had one guy
who lost part of his skull doing something
and he came out of hat on,
but he took the hat off and you could see
part of what was missing.
But then he could go like this
and it would fucking inflate the fold, dude.
No way.
Swear.
No way, it does.
Probably met some of the greatest people, man.
These people are doing, doing nice cross stitch
for you.
Somebody made me a rat crown the other day
with different rats.
Also, I'll be honest with you.
It's like, we do the south or whatever.
And I go, oh shit, I might be a rat neck man
because it's like, I think I have that vibe.
But you guys have a lot of the same stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're like eating pussy from the back.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In fact, I'm kind of a rat neckated, but I go out there and I go and I love them
It's like we hug dude like a few little bony bodies against my body, you know
You then bony dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's sharp. Anyway, um, I gotta eat something
Fuck out of here dog. Dude, happy boy. They're birthday, man. I love you too
I'm gonna see you later, man. I love you too. I'm a little bit of a big year for love for your brother
All right, buddy. I'm gonna keep talking even though you're leaving
I'm just gonna on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be
Cornerstone
Oh but when I reach that ground I'll share this piece of mind I found I can't feel it
In my bones
But it's gonna take
All the time, though it's gonna take