This Past Weekend - E474 Kat Von D

Episode Date: December 12, 2023

Kat Von D is a tattoo artist, musician, and entrepreneur. She is known for the show “LA Ink” which followed her tattoo shop High Voltage in Los Angeles. In 2021 she released her first album "Love Made Me Do It", and her latest single “Vampire Love” is out now. Kat Von D joins This Past Weekend w/ Theo Von to chat about her life since leaving Los Angeles, why she bought a “haunted” house in Indiana, the public reaction to her baptism and faith journey, why she’s choosing to black out all of her tattoos, the time someone called the cops on her for having a pet squirrel, why goths hide in trees, and much more.  Kat Von D: https://www.instagram.com/thekatvond/ ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit  https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ  Gametime: Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code WEEKEND for $20 off your first purchase. Manscaped: Go to http://manscaped.com and use code THEO to get 20% off and free shipping.  Shopify: Go to http://shopify.com/theo to sign up for a $1-per-month free trial. BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp — go to http://betterhelp.com/theo to get 10% off your first month. Füm: Start the Good Habit at http://tryfum.com/THEO  to save 10% off the Journey Pack today. ------------------------------------------------- Music: "Shine" by Bishop Gunn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [e-mail] Hit the Hotline: [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Ben https://www.instagram.com/benbeckermusic/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Brisbane in the Australia. March 2nd, Melbourne on March 5th and Sydney in March 8th, both of those in the Australia. Presail starts Thursday, December 14th at 10 a.m. local time over there with code rat king general on sale begins Friday, December 15th at 10 a.m. local time. We also have tickets remaining for Charlottesville VA, Raleigh, North Carolina, Columbia, South Carolina, State College PA, Syracuse in Y and Amherst. And we will also be looking to add some shows over there in, um, in you know where the Australia, um, all tickets are available at Theovon.com slash T-O-U-R. Also, if the tickets get overpriced, just wait. Don't go, don't waste your money on these secondary sites. We

will, we'll add a date or we'll come back. And just, just thankful, grateful to get to bring this show and have people see it, man, I can't even believe it. And thank you guys for being a part of this journey with me. Praise God, baby gang. Today's guest is an artist. She's a tattoo artist. She is a musician and she's a unique, a unique person in the world. She's a Christian and she's just had quite a journey in life as we all have. We're grateful to sit down with her today. Today's guest is my friend, Miss Cat Von D. I'll spin and tell you, that's your reason

Shine on me And I will find a strong I'll stay there I'll go Wait, you're like, to go to the grocery store. Those are the girls, can you want to pull the mic up? Are you okay with that? That's okay. You're going to the grocery store in those?

No, I don't go to the grocery store. I can't even, I mean, maybe like on Neptune or something I feel like. I don't know how I wonder if they would even, if I were at the grocery store, I don't know if I would let you in. I think it almost looks like you're shopping. We don't have to wear glasses by the way. I'm thinking of you.

No, we can take them off. I know that you walked in with these and I was like, wow, yeah, I feel like that was virtual reality before they had kind of virtual reality of this. Well yeah, because like glasses, like if you have dark glasses, I feel like then, yeah, the reality was kind of virtual because it almost seems like when you have glasses on, like that the world is a little bit separate from you. Yeah, I mean, when I walk around with these, I can like stare at people and they don't

really, I don't feel bad about it because I can't see it. Yeah, because they're skiing by you probably. I would assume that's probably why. Note that you always look so stylish and so that's why I wore this nice jacket. That is nice. Yeah. But yeah, we can take them off if that's okay with you. Yeah, sure.

Yeah. And they look really neat. Thanks. Yeah. Thanks for coming in. Thanks for having me. Yeah, it's a pleasure. It's really, really cool.

I've known about you for a long time. Sorry if I seem a little bit rad. I'll end up watching a movie that's really great yesterday. Oh, yeah. you for a long time. Sorry if I seem a little bit ratted. I ended up watching a movie that really ate yesterday. Oh yeah. Yeah, I was watching, well, it's holiday time. You know, so I was watching Family Man. That's my favorite Christmas movie. Okay.

Have you seen it? No. Really? No, my son's on a home alone kit right now. Ooh. Yeah, he really loves Harry and Marv. Like, yeah. Like to hear his little voice say like,

I love Marv. I'm just like, this is the cutest thing ever. Yeah, I mean, it also shows he might be lightly be considering crime, I think, because Marv, they're the wet bandits, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's the Tom and Jerry situation where he like laughs at somebody falling, you know?

Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was watching that sequence the other day and it was so funny when he sets the little race cars. And then I just love how they, they don't get deterred though. They keep trying to get into the house and do the dumbest stuff. Yeah.

I wonder if people like Harry or Marv more. Huh. I don't know. Harry was the lovable one. Yeah, that's Daniel Stern right there. He was kind of the, I'm a huge, joe peshy fan. So you are? Yeah, Ivable one. Yeah, that's Daniel Stern right there. He was kind of the, I'm a huge Joe Pesci fan. So you are?

Yeah, I think like my cousin Vinnie is one of my favorite. Yeah. My cousin Vinnie, it feels like is my life currently. Oh, really? Yeah, because my husband and I, I mean, my husband doesn't look like Joe Pesci, but he dresses like him in that movie. Like with the cowboy boots and like the black leather.

Oh, yeah, like an Uber driver and Tulsa kind of. I don't know. But we ended up, um, Oh, there's your husband and kid right there. Yeah. Hot or so handsome. Thanks. But we ended up moving to Indiana in the middle of nowhere.

And it's just, uh, it's kind of like, weirdly fish out of water, but not really like we really, I really do feel like we belong there. Yeah. But yeah, so I always think about, um, my cousin Vinnie's scenario. Yeah, cause he was kind of in a rural area, wasn't he? Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, so I always think about my cousin Vinnie's scenario. Yeah, because he was kind of in a rural area, wasn't he? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That movie was good. Yeah, like family man, do you have a favorite Christmas movie? I don't think so. I mean, like I remember before Christmas, I guess that's kind of the token goth Christmas movie. Yeah. I think after what's that movie that that what was that? What's the thing that all the God's people do in town, I used to go to it sometimes.

Rocky Horror Picture Show. Oh, yeah, yeah. Uh huh. Or is that a God thing or is that not? No, I think it's like a theater kid thing. I don't know. That's what it is. Yeah.

Yeah, sometimes like the God's kids would always get, get kind of grouped in with that. Yeah. Like I remember people would drive by him sometimes and be like, yeah, have fun at Rocky Horror picture show. And be like, what? So maybe that's what. No one's yelled that at me before. But, um, you see McCulley Colken was just on the news yesterday.

Yeah, he got a star. He got a star. Yeah. I don't know why that made me so happy. Like, yeah, I don't know why it took that long, I guess. He's like the most like iconic child actor, right? What do you think about it? Oh, yeah, I think so.

I try not to think about children much, because if I don't just for checks and balances and all, but yeah, I love, yeah, he was the best. It was interesting, kind of, listen, did you see a speech that he made? No, but I saw Catherine O'Hare was there and I love that support. I think it's so cool.

Yeah, it was really sweet. Yeah, I wonder, I think of that a lot about like childhood actors, like how can you play it real quick, you can find it on Twitter? It was kind of interesting. Just because of growing up in Los Angeles, it seems really scary place. Yeah.

Or the entertainment industry seems like a really uncomfortable place to grow up in. Yeah. But yeah, thanks for coming in. Kat Von D, really nice to see you today. Yeah. And so, just so for some of you, is that don't know, right? Sure. So, I know that you are an artist and a tattoo artist. Yeah.

And an entrepreneur. Thanks. And you started or people would know you a lot from LA Inc and from a lot of your tattoo work. Yeah. And and that whole universe, right? Totally. Yeah. Fair to say. Sure. Yeah. I think a lot of people know me from the tattoo world and the tattoo TV shows that I used to be on and stuff. Yeah. and then I've done a lot of things along the way. And yeah. Nice. And so now you've moved out of Los Angeles, right? Recently, yeah. Yeah, how long did you move out?

Well, I bought a house about two or three years ago in the middle of nowhere in Indiana. And it was really about the house. I mean, it was about a lot of things. There's a lot of reasons behind making such an extreme move, but I love restoring old Victorian houses. And in LA, I used to have a house that was built in 1890.

And this one was built in 1874. So it's a second empire style Victorian home. And it was operating as a bed and breakfast for, I think, a few decades. And my husband and I went all like the lockdown stuff started happening in California. We just saw a lot of a different facet to where we called home and we just didn't feel connected anymore. We don't really want to be there anymore. And so we looked up rural towns in different

states. And I feel like no one knows where this town is. Even my friends in Indiana have never heard of it. And so that was a really good sign. And we were like, let's find a place where we can be kind of left alone. And we went there and we loved it. And people say it's haunted, but I haven't experienced that. Yeah. Well, it's haunted by you now. It sounds like because if it wasn't haunted, I feel like it kind of like,

now it's got its chance, you know? Because, but also 1874, that is so crazy, especially in Indiana. Indiana, I think had a lot of like, I don't know if they had like slave stuff up there. Or like, so our house is built by Benjamin Franklin Shank and he was the hay maker of the town. So his family made hay

and they also owned a lot of the steamboats. And it's called Switzerland County because a lot of the original settlers were from Switzerland. And what's really cool about the the shank family is that there's actually underground tunnels that connected through underneath our house. So they were pretty big advocates for helping out.

Yeah. Oh, wow. So the underground railroad stop there. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. Yeah, I think I could see you being in a place that the underground railroad had stopped through

and kind of hogwarts probably passed to it. Like, it definitely a thorough, you know, I think I could see you being in a place that the underground railroad had stopped through and kind of hogwarts probably passed to it Like it definitely a thorough you know, I just getting pigeonholed right now Sorry, I love it. I love it The only way I know how to like accept things in the world is to pigeonhole So was it tough choosing because that sounds like almost so much fun like once you guys made that decision Was it hard to make that decision to leave Los Angeles? Or? Yeah.

Yeah, it was almost overnight too. We were just like, we gotta get out of here. And you know, we have a son too, and I think like a little bit of what you were talking about before. Just, there's pros and cons to everywhere you live, you know? I think like LA has some really beautiful things about it. I love my friends. I love the, I think LA has the best food in this country, to be honest, but it's just

my own opinion. Yeah. And, you know, I like the pretty things, I think. There's like nice, like where I'm at, there's no sidewalks. Like we just have like a lot of dirt roads. Yeah. So we don't, there's no billboards, there's no Uber, nothing, no delivery services. We have like one stoplight and a gas station. And it's, I don't know, I prefer the the ladder, you know? Yeah. But I go to LA a lot because if we still have like,

I make music, my husband is a musician as well. So we fly back out a lot, all of our producer friends and stuff are there. Oh nice. Yeah. Yeah, when you say of how it was interesting, like once you made the choice kind of, that was kind of the same for me.

Like I've been living in Los Angeles for maybe 16 years, I think. And so I still have my apartment there, right? Just because it's cheaper than going and even getting a hotel for when I do go back. I know, when I go out go back. Yeah, totally. I know when I go out there now I stay with with Charo. She's my best friend and she, she's nice enough to give us like a little room in the back

of her house. And yeah, it's, I look forward to it. I feel like being able to see my friends and stuff, but I also look forward to kind of escaping and just having like a safe haven. Yeah. Yeah, that's exactly what I thought and once I made the decision, there was actually a friend who said, you should move to Nashville and I was like,

that's so weird and I talked to a friend of mine about it and old friend of mine. And he's like, dude, you used to talk about that when we lived. But when you lived in Nashville? Yeah, he's like, when we lived together, he used to talk about that all the time. I was like, really? I don't's like, when we lived together, he used to talk about that all the time. I was like, really?

Uh-huh. I don't remember it, but I was like, yeah. And so then I came here and before I knew it, I had moved. And I was like, oh my gosh, I always thought it was so scary to be able to leave Los Angeles for some reason. Yeah. You know, there's like, there's something you're letting go of or giving up on kind of, but it's only been kind of like a gift, I think.

Yeah. Do you mean because of like the entertainment industry or something? I think that maybe that's it, I think. I don't know. I don't know. There's nothing really. I kind of decided there's nothing really

that I want out of Hollywood, really, which I think is why I'm grateful that there is a thing called that you can do podcast. You can do your own stuff and you can do stand-up comedy where you don't really have to have a Hollywood involved really, you know, these days. So what did you ask me? I'm sorry, Kat. I don't know, I don't think I asked you anything.

Oh, damn. That's where I live right there, a lot of the sides. Like people real loud, like, yeah, I said, I was gonna be talking to people like, dude, who are you talking to? Did you ask me something? I mean, I did. They're like, I'm just, I don't even know you.

And I'm like, all right. And I'm just gonna go get my car and leave. But no, it was interesting. Oh, just moving and making that choice and suddenly being somewhere. Yeah. Did you guys look at, because you seem like a real, you know, like you seem like you go to some realms

on Zillow that'll be the rest of us are not allowed into. True. Yeah. Like I feel like you probably have gotten some passwords. Well, it's funny because I do, like my real estate lady in LA, like would always laugh, because I'm just like, hey, let me know if anything interesting or obscure comes up and like would always laugh, because I'm just like, hey, let's let me know if anything interesting or obscure comes up. And it would be like, just some of the weirdest stuff.

Like I know all the castles in LA, there's not that many, but I used to live in one. But yeah, just interesting. Yeah, you're right, there are some. Oh, yeah, I think definitely if there's a bit of, you know, anything that's had a missing person in it, or just like a, you know, they found femur. Maybe somewhere.

I mean, one time I saw like the unibomber had his little shack and was Oklahoma, right? Yeah, he had. Oklahoma City. That was for sale. And I was like, who would, it was in the middle of the forest. Like, I saw that one for sale once.

He was like, who would buy that? And then you like send it to your house. You're like, what do you think, babe? I don't know. I mean, but you have people, some stuff is collectors items, it's, you know. But yeah, you guys, and it's interesting because like,

I always say like, you know, your idea of a good time is my idea of a nightmare, you know, and vice versa. And I feel like you look at these houses that, to me, I love the historical aspect and preserving things of the past. I like the human fingerprint of art in general. I have friends that are into the complete opposite.

They love the modern stuff, or even 1950s, or Art Deco. Some of that stuff, it's cool. But to me, I feel like I want every corner to feel like somebody dedicated their lifetime to it, you know? Wow. And so I appreciate that a lot. And I like conserving that and restoring it.

So, but then some people would look at it and be like, let's tear it down and just, you know. Yeah. I think that happens a lot. You seem like somebody that would have like crown molding in the top of their mouth probably. Yeah. You know, like you see, you definitely, like you just are really ornate or a ornate is the word.

Yeah ornates a wonderful ornate. Yeah. And yeah, I'm not trying to judge but I'm just judging you out like clearly. That's funny. I never thought about that. Yeah, I always like to page it. I put people in like little spaces that makes it feel man. I don't know if it makes it feel managed.

Well, I never thought about that before. I like it. I mean, to me, it makes life a lot simple, more simple because I don't know, I only wear black. I know it's a choice. I just like it. And I remember the day that it happened. Like I had these beautiful dresses

that I had accumulated over the years that I just, they were really colorful and I was like, I'm just never gonna wear them. Why am I kidding myself? And I just gave everything away and just kept, I simplified everything. And now I just wear black. And I pigeonholed myself into this

gothie corner, I guess. Yeah, but that's, I like to wear black when I do stand-up comedy because I don't like to make a lot of choices but that's, that's, I like to wear black when I do stand up comedy because I don't like to make a lot of choices. Like even this today for me was making it took, this took a long time to figure out. And, and yeah, and I just don't, well, I don't know, I don't like making a lot of choices.

But yeah, did you, did you guys look at some other places when you were looking for your home? Cause 1870, I mean, that's an old place. Yeah, it is. Uh, we were looking at different states. And, um, and I think, I think Indiana was appealing to me because I saw like the mass exodus of California happening and everybody was moving to Texas and Nashville. And, um, I don't know what the other places were. They were, I think those, those two are kind of some Nevada, I guess. Yeah. And I just wanted know what the other places were. I think those two are kind of, some Nevada I guess. Yeah.

And I just wanted to get away from as much as I could from the California mentality in general. So I was like, Indiana seems safe. Like no one's going there. But yeah. Wow. That's so cool. And I like, like our little town is,

it's cool because it's right on the Ohio River. And so the houses along the river are like the prettiest, you know, cause they're, I don't know, I guess. Yeah, cause you got that money to live by the wall. Yeah, usually. And then it's like, then we have like our little main street. And it's just like our downtown or whatever is literally one block long.

And then in between that and where my house is on the hill, it's kind of like houses that could use a lot of love. And I just felt like no one's gonna move here. You know, like if like, okay, so you're from in California, like Silver Lake and Echo Park, I was around when that was just super ghetto. Like, you know, nobody in the right mind would move there. It's like, it was actually quite dangerous in some areas.

And now it's like, good luck finding a tiny place for less than $1.2 million, yeah. And so I feel like I've bought myself a lot of time finding a place that's not gonna get changed. Yeah, I gotta want, you know. Yeah, yeah, you don't want, yeah, you wanted to get as far away from that as possible. Yeah, yeah, interesting.

Yeah. What were some scary parts about moving into a house that old, like what are things that people do not think about, I guess? Because that's old, bro, that's like, that's only, I mean, that's pretty old, I mean, 18 1874 that you can't even really get much older. I don't think that would be better. I feel like not in America.

I feel like there are some houses from the late 1700s, I guess, but. I don't know. When do people start using wood to build houses? Because at some point we evolve probably from like a real thing, really, because you know Like on the east coast you don't have earthquakes. So you can have a lot more bricks. Oh, it's true. Yeah so what's the most popular piece of house building material?

Well, it's expensive now just because of a inflation everything. Oh, yeah these days dang you got a oh It is thought the first wooden structure was built over 10,000 years ago. Europe's Neolithic long house constructed in around 5,000, 6,000 BC. And it is an example in the earliest free standing timber dwellings, huh? So wow, 5,000, 6,000 BC. So that's like almost 8,000 years ago.

Yeah. Wow. But I guess it makes sense, dude, if you're standing around and you're cold or something, and they got a lot of sticks around, if you don't do something, you're an idiot. I think no offense to whoever that guy is, you know? But you gotta like, you gotta figure it out, dude.

There's only so long you can just go like this, you know, before he tried to change the game, you know. And the most common building material in the world is concrete. Well, is the most widely used, is the most widely used building material in the world, making it a good starting material to get to know. What did you guys have to do to the home when you got there? We're actually still renovating it right now. So actually we don't live in it yet because there's just so much work having to redo a house like that. So we live actually at our church's parsinage. So the pastor from our church lives in Louisville and so he, him and his wife,

well, they drive up every Sunday. So they're like, you know, there's just no place to rent out there. Like there's literally no people, people live there forever. And then they pass it down or sell or whatever. So when we first moved out here, we're like, man, where are we going to live? And then they were just so nice enough to let us stay there. Oh, that's nice of them. Yeah. Yes.

So you're in a place where there's like not even a really a real estate market. Yeah, if you say there's no ubers like,, yeah, I was in a town recently and I couldn't get an uber at night. It was like, it was like, what? It's kind of a busy, but it was like, I guess everywhere doesn't really have it. Yeah, no, no, not where we're at. Yeah. Yeah.

What had been some neat things about being out there, like in just that... Well, I homeschooled my son, and so I like that Indiana has, they're very supportive, like the state of Indiana is very supportive to home school families and stuff. So that was a very big selling point for us. And why is it hard to do? Is there like a lot of regulation with them?

Some states in different places have different, yeah. So to me, I'm like the less government, the better. So I was like, you know, that's one of the perks of the state of Indiana. And so, so yeah, like I my son just turned five last week. So it were, you know, getting ready to start like first grade. Yeah. I know it's so cool. Wow. And so do you like have to redesign the room, like the learning room or whatever, each year to make the grades seem different or? I mean, right now he's like,

we're not doing crazy curriculum because he's just turned five. So, but once we get into the house, I do plan on having like a little school room area, but that's the cool thing about homeschooling is that you can teach anywhere really. I feel like the idea of putting your kid in a, you know, like a school or a classroom setting, it's, I think that's kind of, people are tending to steer away from that in a lot of places. So, yeah.

Well, some of this starts to feel dangerous too. It seems like there's a lot of violence in schools. Yeah. It seems really, like, but I don't know, maybe that's just like the algorithm, like for some reason sends me those videos sometimes, but it seems like there's like a lot of violence in schools, but I don't know, it's one of the reasons why I chose to live in Tennessee.

It's very safe, or in Nashville, it's very safe here. Yeah. It's super safe. Yeah. And, um, yeah, but I don't go to school anymore, so I don't know what it's really. Yeah, same. I didn't go to school anymore. So I don't know what it's like. Yeah, same.

I didn't go to school. You didn't? I started tattooing when I was 14 years old. And then I remember the first time I ever did a tattoo. I'm like, this is what I want to do. I just knew it in my heart. And so I was like, why would I spend so much time in school when I don't need to?

Yeah. Not that I would condone people dropping out or anything like that, but it worked for me. Oh, people will do it without you condoning them. I know. A lot of people are just, don't like it or they're, not even smart and they don't like it. Do you, your family started in, your family, because you're from another country,

a family similar to the country. Yeah, so my family's from South America from Argentina and I was born in Mexico and then I moved here in the 80s. What were they doing there? My dad was a missionary for the church, so he's like long line of like missionary doctors and so he was building hospitals and like little

webritos that didn't have any hospitals and then me and my siblings were born there. So it was pretty cool upbringing, I loved it. Yeah. We came from nothing, like literally nothing. Really? Yeah, we had like dirt floors and no running water and it was like truly third world, but it was cool.

And you're from Nicaragua? My father's from there. My father, my grandfather, my grandfather, I guess, was a missionary. Oh, really? Yeah, and they were down in Nicaragua and that's where my grandfather, I guess, was a missionary. Oh, really? Yeah, and they were down in Nicaragua, and that's where my dad was born, because that's where my grandfather, I guess, met his wife or something. And then that's where my dad was born at.

And so he grew up there. He used to tell me stories about kids in his village that would eat dirt, actually. And they didn't have anything to eat, and they would eat dirt, and their stomachs would get like all the stended and stuff. Like he would tell me some kind of crazy stories, but yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, that they were missionaries down there as well. And then so then your family moved up to America?

Yeah, we came up through Texas and then moved to a little town in Southern California called Lo Melinda. We say came up through, what are we talking about? I'm gonna say anything. Like driving. Okay. We just drove through.

Okay. I was still, I didn't have my papers yet because I was like underage. Okay. I was gonna say if the D stands for deportation. No, I wasn't through, like I wasn't in the trunk or anything like that. Okay.

And it would have been so you to be in the trunk though, I feel like I guess I saw it in some mysterious compartment. It's the reason I look like this now. You're like, this is the closest thing I can find to a coffin. Hey, this coffin's got a tire in it. That's funny. Yeah. Oh, oh, oh, boys and girls get ready to jingle and protect your holiday balls with help from our friends over at manscape. They help your balls. Baby, they'll do it. They can do it.

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when they use code Theo to help make starting the good habit that much easier. Were your parents, what were your parents like? Did you guys have a fun family growing up? What was it like? Yeah, I mean, it was pretty modest upbringings, you know, went to church a bunch. We didn't have a lot of money, but my dad and mom,

they had a piano, and so all of us were trained, like, classically trained in piano, since I was five. And so I've always loved music. Music has always been like my biggest passion. I like classical music, because that's what I was kind of brought up on. But now I make like more electronic, like, synth wave 80s style music.

Oh, sweet. Yeah. But Charles was good. I have two siblings who I don't talk to anymore. They actually live in this state here. Really? You don't talk to them? Uh-uh.

No way. Yeah, no interest in it. Really? Yeah. Wow. Wish them well though. Yeah. I have one that we barely, we don't really talk much anymore.

It's weird kind of hum. Yeah, it's strange. Yeah. Family's funny, you know, but. Yeah, I think it's interesting because it feels like a lot of responsibility, but it also feels like the only people that maybe will have a lot of the same ins,

like that shared some common information, I guess, and shared some common experiences. I don't know, I think it's interesting to, yeah, I think a family is something you really have to build and has to be put together pretty well by the parents a lot of times. Yeah, I mean, I can watch a movie and I see people who are close to their moms

or their siblings and I can understand it, but I can't really relate as much. And I probably will sound a little bit cold, but I just feel that you feel a sense of obligation because you're related to somebody by blood, but I think it's kind of the opposite where, like, or what you said, where you have to work at it if you really want it to, you know, be a good relationship, like any relationship, you know? Yeah.

But like I look at my husband's family and like they're just so cool and so warm and welcoming and just like, like, I'm like, I'm like, I don't have, I don't have that. That's okay, you know? Was it just, uh, yeah, because I don't have that, that's okay. Was it just, yeah, because I think about family stuff a lot, I think about that kind of stuff and how does it affect you as you get older and stuff?

I'm really close with my dad and I'm trying to talk him into moving out with us. Oh really? Yeah, that would be my dream if my dad could live on the same land with us. Does he have a cool Spanish name or a, or like his real name? Central American name or no?

His name's Renee. Oh, Renee is like a painter, huh? Renee Carlos, yeah. Oh, yeah, he's in, dude. Yeah. Oh, I'll buy it. Look, I'll buy a 28 by 12 from him. And I was a unique Jake for art, but I'll take it.

Yeah, Renee Carlos. Yeah. Oh, for sure. That's beautiful. Yeah. I think if you're spanned, you can have kind of a little bit of a woman's name and then let you slide more.

Yeah, I feel like there's probably a lot of Italian Renee's, right? Yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yeah, they definitely get away with being a little bit more of a woman in the name, you know? My dad's like the opposite of that. He looks like a 1950s boxer. Oh he does.

Yeah. Dude, yeah, because if I was like, yeah, this is my buddy Sarah right here. A lot of dudes with it. People wouldn't be as accepting, I don't think, in America. Yeah. So your life now, so you moved out to Indiana and you lived there, oh, one neat thing I saw in your Instagram was, yeah, you have to Indiana, you lived there. Oh, one neat thing I saw in your Instagram was, yeah, this pretty crazy tulip garden. Oh, yeah.

Throw it yet. So yeah, so I got, um, there's like this plot of land right in front of my house. So people know where I live. Like once, once like, they found out that I bought the property was in the news and stuff. And so, and also like the shank mansion is kind of like famous on its own because of like all the supposed haunting. I haven't seen anything, you know, but what do you know?

No, I'm just thinking of what it's going to be like when the ghosts show up over there. I just, you know, I've never seen a ghost and I'm not saying that I have tons of friends that have like solid, you know, they're stable people and they have seen things and experiences. I just personally haven't. So it's hard for me to, you know, I don't know. But you don't believe in ghosts, you think? Well, I don't know if I necessarily don't believe in it. I think like, I just haven't experienced anything. And also, I've lived in old houses,

so like, they make noises all the time. And I think that a lot of people want to, like, experience it. So they like, that's why they have like haunted tours and things like that. But I don't know, I just feel like, I haven't seen it. But. Yeah, people want there to be somebody else. I just feel like I haven't seen it. But. Yeah, people want there to be somebody else. I think some people are lonely too, and so they want

to go to be around. Like there was this, like, these two guys, like when I bought the house, because I Googled the house to see if there's anything that came up. And on YouTube, there was like a, like a house tour that these guys did. They like rented out the bed and breakfast, but I don't know if they told them,

they were gonna film, and they were just kind of dressed, I don't wanna say goth, but like, just older gentlemen, and they were just like, really wanting to catch some paranormal activity, and it's so bad. Like, it was like dust in the air, and they're like, did you see the orb? And it's like, there's nothing there, you know?

But, but I don't know, I haven't experienced anything there, but the shank mansion there it is. Yeah. Yeah. As for the store in 2000, it operated in a bed and breakfast to listen to a national red dystero of historic places in 2002. Oh, look, it says that I bought it. Yep. So that's cool.

Yeah. So back to the tulip thing. So, so there's this plot of land that's right in, like right outside our gate. And it's just, just grass. And the lady who saw me the house, she owns it, my friend Lisa. And so I hit Lisa up and I was like, hey, look, I got a bunch of tulips.

And I thought it would be cool just to bring something in the community, you know, just have, because people are coming here to take pictures anyway. So why not, I give them something like really cool to look at. And so I got 10,000 black tulips. And I thought like this is going to be an enormous, like just a field of black tulips. VTM, bro.

10,000 is a lot. And then we did the math in the square footage. It's like, it's not that big. I feel like it's maybe twice the size of this room. The tool of the what? 10,000 of them. Oh, that's all that big. I feel like it's maybe twice the size of this room. The tool of the what? 10,000 of them. Oh, that's all it makes? Yeah, because you plant them about three to four inches apart.

Oh. So I feel like, I guess they don't want to be far away from each other. Yeah, so we'll see. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see.

We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. We'll see. Yeah, they're cool with doing their own thing. I mean, apparently, two of them are kind of like, I guess they're, I guess they get loans or whatever. Or whatever it's called. I don't know what that would be like as a flower. Like what is it?

Yeah, so we'll see. We'll see. We have like, you know, wildlife out there and everybody in my Instagram was like, you know, be careful because the squirrels are gonna dig them up or the mulls. So we're hoping that by the time spring comes, they don't eat all of them. But dude, if you had an only fans of you just fighting moles, I think a lot of people

was subscribed to it. I mean, I think you get a lot of the hunting audience, you know. How do you fight a mole, though? I don't know. That's up to you, I think. But I think it would just be pretty fascinating to watch. Is it, do you feel different being out of LA? What does that kind of feel like?

Does it feel like, were you kind of done with entertainment? I mean, you've had a neat career and at least got into experience. Yeah. You know, certain things, you know, like, that's one thing about having a different opportunity sometimes, at least you get to experience what it's certain things. That's one thing about having different opportunities. Sometimes at least you get to experience what it's like, whether you were there was great

or you didn't like it, you get experience. Yeah, I mean, I'm still, I haven't retired yet. So I mean, I feel like you said, the beauty of being able to create and do things that you don't necessarily have to be in LA anymore. And so I think before you used to, I feel like you had to live in LA if you needed it if you wanted to do things.

But now it's like, I mean, I make music so I can do that from my house. I don't need to, or I could fly in and record, or you don't necessarily have to live in Hollywood anymore. Yeah, that's nice. Yeah, yeah. What else can we think about? So like, did you know that in the state of Indiana,

like you're not, it's illegal to own a squirrel? I found this out because my son found like a little, a little baby squirrel that had fallen out of a tree. And it happens a lot, like squirrels fall out of trees and stuff. And this one was like barely breathing and really dehydrated. I used to work at the California Wildlife Center and back in California.

And so, like rehabilitating scrolls is pretty easy. It's not, it's not like a, you know, like an owl or something. Like, you need two hands to do it. You can do it one hand. Probably need two hands to do it on. Yeah, two. Because you have to like feed them with this little syringe thing. But so we rehabilitated my son named him Lucky's

like the cutest thing ever. And then I got baptized and then I got a bunch of criticism about this baptism video. So I had to make this, I didn't have to, I was inspired to make a video like calling out like judgemental Christians or whatever. And in that video, Lucky is just like, just like flying behind me.

He's just like running around. And somebody saw him and reported me to the animal control. And they showed up, like the guy showed up with like a gun and everything was like, hey, do you guys have a squirrel? Like, you know, you can't have one, so we're gonna have to take it. And I'm like, they put him in coughs. No.

No. No. No, but they, so I asked the guy, I was like, are you gonna euthanize him? Because I know that's what you guys do. What are you gonna, you're not gonna house him. And they're like, yeah, it's gonna get euthanized. So why are you kidding me?

Yeah. So they took him out of a warm up. No, of course they didn't take him. Oh, you kept him. I'd slide and I told them I'm gonna release him the next day. Oh, cool. And then we made like a little Instagram video like.

Of him leaving? Yeah. Yeah. We don't have to tell anybody if he came back or not. Yeah. But the other side, you got it. Lucky lives elsewhere. Wow, dude.

That's incredible. Like, who would do that? That's crazy. It's so cool. Well, it's just also the Wow, dude, that's incredible. Like who would do that? That's crazy. So cool. Well, it's just also the weird, like how legislation is so obtuse from like, like there's no intricacies a lot of times with like laws and rules, you know?

It's just for this general thing. And so it's, and they don't have any room to bend a lot of these guys who come to, you know, it's like they're just trying to do the, whatever the no I was just more confused by who who in the right mind would be like Oh, let me go and report. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be be squirrel. Yeah Yeah, I would feel so perverted even reporting. Yeah, or I would just be like hey, uh imagine that call Like hey, I'm not trying to be a snitch or whatever, like a brand. I'm gonna be a nut.

Yeah. But, uh, there's a scat on the ass. A squirrel. Dude, they should, if, you know, they release that body cam footage, they have to release that call. That call, you should remix a beat to that call and that you should name. I wish they did have one.

One of the best house songs. Get one, eat, get one. Well, the best was like my, it was my husband that opened the door and he was like, topless with like, and he's like, fully tattooed with the squirrel, the shoulder. Oh, well, then that didn't help. Yeah, yeah.

People are trying to get this animal in M-squirrel 13 over here. There's not this bad stuff going on out of here. Yeah, so how do your journey go to like, I don't know if I want to call it a journey, but what was like, what role has religion like played in your life and stuff because, um, you know, I think it's worth a time in the world. I think in just, I think we're always at a time in the world, but I think we're, it feels

like a lot of people are looking for something that makes sense more. I feel like we're getting exhausted. I by the truth that a lot of the things that we feel like will make us feel good aren't doing it, you know. I feel like that a lot. But yeah, what is some of that experience been like, I mean, if you got baptized, they really, how, what kind of, and was it like, what do they do in it? What are they baptized in?

Water. Oh, yeah, yeah Good Oh Here's your video right here It's pretty there the Lord Jesus Christ and it obedience to His divine command. I bow to you my sister, the name of the Father and the Spirit. Oh, congratulations. I still get teary eyed when I see that. That's cool. It's powerful. Yeah. Yeah, what is that like in your life?

Yeah. What's it like? Or how do you get there? How do you get? Because I think a lot of people are lost. I think the lost a lot of times, you know. I think a lot of us feel that way. And so how do you feel like you solved your lost?

Well, I mean, or is that even a fair question? I don't know. Yeah, I know, I get what you're saying. I was brought up with Christianity in my childhood, and then I strayed. And so in a nutshell, I just kind of, in the last five years have made my way back

and have a different understanding than maybe when I was a kid, because I think when you're a kid, you're like, or at least for me, it was like, we just go to church because that's what we have to do. And you know, I don't, I didn't have actual profound questions that I, I want answered like I do now. And so I think as an adult you get to have a different understanding of that. And so that's kind of what, you know, how I, in a weird artsy way just kind of came back. And I just, the last five years have just been studying the Bible and now like at this

church, like we have our women's Bible study and stuff that I, that I tend and, um, and I just, I'm meeting you, you go to, right? I watched another podcast that you were on. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Um, I heard you talk about anyway. You guys have a Bible study each week. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Um, I heard you talk about anyway, that you guys have a Bible study each week. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and you know,

I think I'm going to always have questions and continue to want to learn and have deep understandings of things and so, but I in that podcast that you probably watched, like I talk about, like a little bit, what you said, it's like we're trying to find meaning or, um or want to feel again, you know, and I think there's a lot of temporary fixes or, you know, I used to, like, I was an addict and I'm so, I'll have 17 years sober in July. And so, you know, I think I feel like those are all things that kind of lead you in that direction. Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, it's such an intimate and personal thing.

My relationship with God is my own. And I've never really felt like I belonged anywhere. Like, especially now, I think, being public with my faith puts you into this microscopic critical tank. And so I get criticized from all sides now, which I don't care because at the end of the day, my relationships with God, not you, but it is interesting. I feel like now it just becomes funny,

like some of the comments I get. I think because people have a hard time understanding the aesthetic and pairing that with something, which is- You're aesthetic, you mean? Yeah. Right, the ambiance of you and the, and then pairing. And Christianity.

And it's so silly to me and like, I don't understand how people don't see how close-minded that is, you know, and how like, Yeah. Why would you think that you have to look a certain way to have an understanding of the Bible, you know? Yeah you think that you have to look a certain way to have an understanding of the Bible, you know, or, you know, yeah, that's a good point too. I think it's all, well, a lot of that, there's a lot of interest in stuff there, you know, like, I do, but,

you know, so there's a lot to think about in all of this. Yeah, for sure, you know, like one time I went to like a Jordan Peterson lecture and my husband and I were like the only people that looked like us there. But I was like, what do you mean? What? You mean black people? No, wait a second. I just like, and I don't want to diss on like Jordan's fan base,

but I feel like everybody had their own uniform, you know? Like there was just rows of people in front of me and they all kind of dressed the same. Really, yeah. And I was like, man, for some, for people, and I'm not, again, not judging or criticizing, but you would think that like free thinkers would, or maybe they just don't care, I don't know.

Or maybe there's just only so many stores too, where you can, I mean, I feel like it's a lot of Johnson and guys who like, are sad, like, I don't know, I'm a Jordan Peterson fan, but I'm like, I think it's a lot of like, there's, you know, it's a lot of lost boys, but who have, and who can comprehend well, or well enough, you know, because otherwise lost boys who can't comprehend, they kind of, you know, because otherwise lost boys who can't comprehend,

they kind of, you know, they listen to maybe Huba's tank or whatever, you know. But I think if you get or, or, hey, hey, come out and fight. Remember that song? You gotta keep them separate. Oh yeah, yeah, huh. Offspring? Offspring, yeah. Dude, yeah, so a lot of like, yeah, if you are a lost boy who can't

communicate as well as you'd like to sometimes, and this is a judgment, but you probably have owned an offspring album. And then if you are a different version, then it's sometimes Jordan Peterson. But yeah, I could not imagine seeing it. It was like playing Where's Waldov, I saw you at a Jordan Peter's concert. So that's interesting. But that's awesome that you guys went and you found like that what the... Oh, so my whole point was just that I feel like maybe we pigeonhole ourselves, right? Like I feel like everybody kind of like I went into this... So the church I go to is like a really small church, and there's not enough people to have a running trend

or anything like that, but when I went to like a big church in California, recently I looked around and it's like, a lot of people have the same style. And so I realized that maybe because modern day Christians are so used to being surrounded by people that look the same as them when someone like me comes into the mix, it's like, oh wait, this is demonic

or this is, because I get called demonic a lot, or this is like you're serving two masters. And I'm like, I don't think any of that is accurate. I don't think you have to, there's no dress code to be a Christian. Yeah. There's like, um, oh, that's baffling to me. Yeah. But I get it a lot. Like I just recently posted this, the, like my last post was just, uh, I thought was like a very cool, like modest image of me, like, in a, in a dress and some funny shoes. And I just, oh, the comments are just hilarious. It's just people like Satan's gonna bring you home.

And just things, that's crazy. Yeah, I guess there's all levels of everything, like I didn't wish you'd get into like the Chris shit. Like if you, like, I thought I was gonna get hate from my existing fans, you know, like just people who are, like feel like you could be a deserter or something. Maybe people that are fans of yours that don't have a religion

or aren't Christians or something, they would have a thought about it. And no, they've been super loving and open-minded and I love that, you know? But it's been the other side that I was just so surprised. But wow. Yeah, you know, that's where it's like, I think there's a lot of interesting stigmas with Christianity, I guess. Like I like religion, right? I like, I don't know if I care what religion people are.

Yeah. You know? I think I wish I knew more about some of the religions. You know, I probably prefer Christianity for myself because that's what I know the most. And, but, or I would say that I prefer God. That's what this is, it's a term I like to use. And most of my belief started through AA,

through going to 12 step meetings. It was like the first time I ever started to get like an understanding of like starting to build a relationship with God and talking to God and feeling like that if I think or feel something that there's something on the other side of the universe that hears it or cares about it, right?

And that blew my mind, dude, because, you know, I've been, I've been electrocuted a couple times, whatever. You have? Oh, yeah, but I never had a feeling like this. It's not like being electrocuted. It's just like feeling like, What do you mean? You've been electrocuted?

Yeah, I've been electrocuted, I've been electrocuted. Yeah, I mean, I guess a handful of times or whatever. Yeah, yeah, I guess. One time I got electrocuted at a carnival when I was young, I got electrocuted. Oh, three years ago, I stepped on, I was walking behind a hot food truck, and I stepped, they had a plug-in, a big joint plug-in

and I stepped right on it and just, you know, I wasn't, it was like the opposite of being baptized. It was uncomfortable. But yeah, but I was, yeah, but I, yeah, I like thinking about God. I love thinking about it now. You know, I was just asking God this morning just to help me, just to help give me some better direction in my life. And help me with the few things I've been struggling with. I've been struggling to quit vaping, right?

So I don't wanna vape and so it's just been so hard and I realized I'm an addict. It's like, dude, I will wake up in the middle of the night and see if there's vape places open and stuff. And then some assholes started to open in 24 hours. Oh yeah. Like, cigarettes was the hardest for me.

I love, oh my gosh, I love smoking. Yeah. I love cigarettes, but I just can't, I don't wanna be that, that mom, like, well it became my, like vaping became my higher power. And a lot of ways, like if I have an uncomfortable thought, feeling, moment, whatever, let me hit this thing. Yeah.

And so I realized, oh, this is the thing. I'm serving this, like, whether I wanna have a higher power, whatever I want it to be, this is whatever, I am serving this thing. I show up when this, whenever the little, like a ping goes off inside of me, I show up for this thing. That's crazy. Yeah, my life revolved around smoking too and it's funny because

You start like treating it as like little treats like I would be tattooing and I'd be like all right I'll just get through like two hours and then I get a treat and then you know get these little breaks and stuff and then But then everything like life becomes an inconvenience for at least for me. I've never talked about this before, by the way. Like, I feel like, usually when I talk about, like, subriding stuff, you talk about, like, drugs. But, cigarettes were the hardest. I mean, I just, I love the ritual of it.

I love the smell, like, leather jackets with, and cigarettes to me is like so sexy. I just, I, Oh, Sam Elliott in the mask. Have you seen him in that? No. Was share remember that movie? Oh, yeah, yeah. I was thinking the other mask.

Yeah, yeah. I wish Sam Elliott was in that one too. Yeah, yeah. I like Sam Elliott. I mean, I don't like him. Like I like him, but I like him. Yeah, yeah. But, um, yeah, people don't talk enough about that.

It's, yeah, it's so, I mean, it just, the, all of it is, yeah. I mean, I was like two packs a day. What? For like, till recently. Tax Von D, huh? That's for it. Is he dude?

Two packs a day. You're watching the lights? You look so lovely. Still after having smoked that once. I know, yeah, true, true. And not, not, not I know. I mean, like, I know. But no, it's a blette, yeah, it's like, that's fortunate.

You see some people that are just like, yeah, some people look like they start to eventually they, they look like the inhale that they take off a cigarette. They're just like, like they're whole, it's like, yeah, you know, yes. But if I see people doing drugs and movies, I just instantly get like sick to my stomach. I'm like, I just like the idea, the idea of doing drugs again is like, I'm beyond that, but if I see somebody smoking a cigarette, I'm like, man, like, I still have that. And like, I can't, I can't cheat on that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I stopped at a high, dude, this is a sad story. I remember kind of milling around a high school, if some kid was vaping after school one day.

When we were all- And vaping's so not cool. Like that's the one that's like, I'm like, why? Just smoke a cigarette. Like, why would you, it's like so like, steampunk, like with your little things.

The steampunk's the almost dude. The steampunk's the craziest about it though. And then like putting together assembling, like it's so weird, just get a cigarette and be a man. God. That was a terrible right. But I'm okay. This is the conversation I need that helps me. Yeah, I just didn't. Yeah, but there's something that people they put the crank in and make their own vapor whatever They like add vanilla

Seasoning or is I they have a machine it is a tumble drive setting on it like what yeah, these are the guys that are doing This is a guy. Let's play that can we play that let's see one of these yeah Dude the people that blow the smoke and they what like this., there's team come, come, come, like a guy. You don't do any of that? I don't do it. No, this guy's out of his mind. This guy has a 12 gauge faith. Oh my God, this guy, this guy's wife is missing.

There's no reason to need that much nicotine unless you did something bad. Look at that. This guy's a damn motor and it, nicotine unless you did something bad. Look at that. This guy's a damn motor and it, but the craziest ones are the competitions. It's almost like it's one of those dog shows now. It's like the guy will blow a big smoke ring and then it's wife-boy, I wanna jump through it.

It's like, what is this shit? It just, anyway, but it's hard. It is. It's hard and I think since I don't have a family or anything that I constantly need to address, then... I feel like I probably wouldn't have quit if I didn't have a... Really?

Yeah. I mean, the minute I got pregnant, I got the plus sign, that was the day I quit. And then I started again after I had my son not right away, but like... Can we hiding and doing it? No, no. Fuck yeah. No, but I also know that you were. No, I mean, I never would post like I,

there's, you'll be hard pressed to find, there's very few photos of me smoking online, but. Yeah. But then when my son was two, because I had my little smoking nook outside, and he came out, my son came, he learned how to open doors, you know, and he came out and was like,

Mommy, Mommy, and he's like, what's that spell? And I just felt like such a loser. I was like, I can't, I can't be that mom. So I, I would hate that being that dead, which I smell, it's like, oh, it's cranberry lime crush or whatever.

Is that your flavor? Ice or whatever. Yeah, whatever. No, I prefer watermelon lemon. And then some of them I'll do watermelon lemon mango if they don't have the one that I like. But it's like, it's sad. It's all pretty sad, I think.

And the guy knows me, he calls me big boy when I walk in there. That's the worst part. And he's like kind of like a, he calls me big boy when I walk in there. That's the worst part. And he's like kind of like a, he's this spanic or like Egyptian or something. He's like, what's up big bite? That's what he says, every time I go in there, and this is the saddest part.

I will buy it, hit it a few times, and then throw it away so I don't hit it anymore. And then you have to buy it again. And then I'll go later on that day and buy it again. Oh, I was just like, I would just buy cartons. I just buy cartons. And you buy a boatload. You'd be out there like on the Ohio River,

like flagging down. I buy cartons and then like one of my biggest pet peeves was like when people would ask to like, bomb a cigarette. Why you have a cart? Well, yeah, but I've been, like I'm averaging one every 30 minutes. I don't have a spare. Like, why would you do that? Like just go by your own. There's some famous comedy duos out there, baby. Tom and Jerry, Ricky and Morty,

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Today to get 10% off your first month, that's betterhelp.com slash THEO. That's how it was when I would do drugs. So you like, I remember in the beginning, it was like fun party time, you're out with your friends, and then the minute that I realized, oh no, this is mine, I would just start doing drugs by myself.

Oh yeah, me too. Yeah, that was it. Like no sharing, because there's so many pre-loaders. Yeah, and I was one of them, first of all, and I'd finally gotten some drugs. So the last thing, if I'm free, yeah, it's finally time I get the free load off myself, you know? But yeah, I would go home, I would get cocaine, I'd go home and just do it by myself. And it would be sad. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It was the saddest man. I don't

know why. But yeah, people do that. But yeah, I think I did, I'll get through a, through like going to 12 step meetings as well, started to build a relationship with the higher power and really believe in one. Before that, I just never had it presented to me in a way that felt, I don't know, that it, like, meshed, you know. Yeah. Yeah.

I think that's important. I think is how you, how it comes into your comes into your life too, a lot of times. I just like having our power, like having an invisible friend that, yeah, all like having an invisible friend. Yeah. I feel like I came from the school of thought where you have to be empowered and just believe in yourself and all this idea that it's kind of almost like self-worship. And I think in AA, they do talk about that where it's like that you can't do this on

your own. And I think taking that to the bigger picture part of it, where it's not just with addiction that for me, I'm like, I've definitely surrendered to that. And I don't think there's anything wrong, you know, to humble yourself and be like, I can't do this on my own. And so it's kind of where I, where I, you know, landed, I guess. Yeah.

Well, I think that's the part I struggle with a lot. Sometimes it's just on a daily basis, like turning my will over to God, turning my will over to higher power. Like, I pray every day, and but I just, I know that it's a relationship that I want to be stronger in my life, you know? I can feel it all the time.

Like me just wanting like a stronger relationship. Yeah. And then yeah, one thing I like, I liked, one thing I liked about churches was just the sense of community or religious places people meet up worship centers, was just the sense of people doing something together. Kids being able to do like Sunday school

or whatever and you go in the back and you know, you back there, everybody's's making little arts or whatever. I like that. I like that sense of community. I think it was good probably for communities to have some shared meeting space. I think churches and religious worship centers used to be that more in America. I don't know what it's like in the rest of the world, but Yeah. In America, you know, I don't know what it's like in the rest of the world, but. Yeah, I love that community.

I personally love like, I look forward to my Sundays and we do like church, we do choir practice on Thursdays and like, I definitely feel, I mean, I think because we have a small church, which I think is a good thing, like, when people are missing, like they're, are missing, when they go out of town or they're missed, I feel like I genuinely miss my church family when I'm in LA.

Oh yeah, that's cool. Yeah, I don't know, I never really had that before. I'm not that kind of person either. I don't like group therapy. I don't like communal seating at restaurants, like I like lone wolf, you know? But where I, you know, I found my little, my little, I guess, tribe, whatever.

No, it's fair. Well, I think there used to be a lot more that, I mean, there is even that book by Sebastian Younger, I think it's called Tribe, maybe, where, yeah, it was about that. It was about when we were in smaller groups and stuff like that. People used to, yeah, you would miss somebody they'd be gone. It's like, otherwise you get so caught up with so many things

and your space gets too big and it's hard to know. It's hard to pay attention. It's hard to connect, you know, or you're trying to connect to too many things. You know, people feel like that's part of it. We're just trying to connect to too many things. I don't think our system is built for that a lot of times. So I think it's nice. I bet having a place where you notice

or somebody's gone. That's pretty cool. Yeah, it's cool. It's important. I think it's important for us. Yeah. You know, what was it like when you did you think you really had an addiction problem?

What was that like? Oh yeah, I mean, I was like a when you did you think you really had an addiction problem? What was that like? Oh, yeah. I mean, I was like a big time user drug user. Loser, yeah. Loser, yeah, that's fun. No, I mean, you know, I'm like a quick learner, so it's not like, I can't, I'm never casual about anything. So it's like, you know, what starts off as innocent and just experimentation all turns into like my entire existence. Yeah, wow.

And you know, that part of my personality I've managed to change over the years too. Like I've grown up a little bit more, you know? Like what part of it you mean? Well, because I think before when I looked at like my relationships, I would have looked at like, just everything has to be an excess you know, and and now I'm like a little more balanced. Did you ditch the jacket? Yeah, just to my jacket off because I don't know if I'm getting warmer or not or I don't know if I'm just feeling like If something's wrong with me. I feel fine. I'm not gonna faint. I don't feel like sick. I just yeah, I was like

Do I still want to have a jacket on? Hint hot is took action, I guess. You know? Yeah, I think faith is just so interesting. I think it used to be probably a long time ago, people had to have more faith because there wasn't like your television screen was almost like the sky or the, you know,

it was like watching nature. Like if you wanted to be watching nature, you had to go outside. Like you already lived outside. You gotta just look, you know, it was like, I think we're so much more connected probably to the universe. And I don't know, I think,

I don't know, I just think it's interesting what religion is like. And some people say that it's bad for people, you know, that people call it like the opiate of is like. And some people say that it's bad for people, that people call it the opiate of the mass. As you hear people say that. But I don't know. I would, whoo. I think there's bad representations of everything.

Yeah. I mean, there's like certainly bad representations of people in AA, you know? Like I always had a hard time going to AA because I just couldn't stand a lot of the people to be honest. And also, I just feel like it was never really anonymous, especially in LA. People go there as a scene, you would go. And it's like so and so was at a meeting.

I remember I was going with a friend and then someone took a picture of us from the back or whatever and posts, like, man, like, you know, it's like my friends trying to get through something and then, you know, it's like this unnecessary attention or the worst would be comedians, like that would show up and they would speak and they're just like practicing their- Really?

Yeah, it's like the worst. The worst, I'm like, this is why I've ate. At least now I have somebody to blame it on. But no, I'll say this, you know what there is? Some things about that that make people feel uncomfortable. You know, I try to go to meetings and share his honesty as I can. And that's cool.

But sometimes, you know, that partner may able to get over like if somebody hears something I'm thinking or feeling about, because that sometimes could be, was a hang up for me a little bit, like, you know, if people started to recognize me, it made me feel like scared, I think a lot of times. I mean, it all helps and it all doesn't.

I mean, you know, I feel like if it inspires somebody to keep coming, that's cool too, but you don't want that to, that somebody's subride hinged on that. But, and I think there's also, it's cool too, but you don't want that to somebody subride the hinged on that. But, and I think there's also, it's like churches. There's some that are mega churches that are preaching weird gospel and like, and then there's smaller ones that are not, or whatever. I think it's like, because I know there's meetings that are much more private and like, it's not a scene or dating scene or something.

Yeah. But, yeah, he's interesting now. I think it's interesting that, you know, it's not a scene or dating scene or something, you know? Yeah. But, yeah, he's interesting, though. I think it's interesting that, yeah, he's interesting. But then also you're like, well, what, this is why I'm here. Sometimes it depends on my attitude. If I'm in a good mood that day, it's like, I don't care.

Yeah. But yeah, one, there was a meeting in Las Vegas recently where a guy was like kind of filming like himself like with this, with me in the background, and that made me just, I mean, I spoke up for myself and I asked him what was going on, but it was just something that stuff's a little bit weird. But then you're like, well, yeah, I don't know,

but I love going to meetings. That I really like. I thought it was super helpful. That's good. I was trying to think of something else with fate that we can talk about. You want to talk about that stuff more? Is it okay with you? Yeah, yeah.

Well, I love thinking about it. I don't have a lot of people on that are, that I guess that we talk about it with as much as I'm talking about. I'm probably the worst person because I'm not like a studied, you know. Oh, I don't know anything about like the history of it. I mean, I know that, you know, I know about the family in the woods.

I know they had the apple. I know one of the sons killed the other one. So things got a little hectic right out of the gate, you know, but there's a lot of like this, but I don't know, a lot of the logistics, you know? Yeah. So I think I wouldn't, yeah. That part I don't know about.

Yeah. But I just think about feelings and stuff. Yeah. I like thinking I wouldn't, yeah. That part I don't know about. But I just think about feelings and stuff. Yeah. I like thinking about that kind of stuff. Some of that is intuitive too. I feel like, you know, like there's parts of, you know, I think there's like some things that are like ingrained in us that you can't really explain, you know, like it doesn't feel good to harm somebody things like that. Yeah But I don't know Yeah, but then yet so it's interesting how that kind of stuff happens in the world sometimes, you know, I don't know

I don't know. I think the then people go well, you know, if why would God let that happen? Yeah, I don't Don't get a shot of it because that's gross. I hate people do that. I just want to do this. I will. I'm not even on my phone. I'm okay. Oh, well, yeah, we can blur them out. No, you know, the blur. Yeah, I think sometimes people want to blame God when it's bad and not for the good stuff, but I think you look at like, I always think like we're human, you know, we sin, we were capable of making mistakes and we have free will to make, you know, good and bad choices. So it's like, yeah, of course, there's going to be evil in this world. But I don't, I don't think God would be the one to blame, you know, I would, you still

have to take accountability for your actions. Yeah. Yeah. It's a shame that bad things do happen to a lot of good people and innocent people. That's the way of the world, you know. Yeah, I think that's always been there throughout time, you know what? I don't think God of God is like a specific instance to instance type of like landlord or whatever you want, you know, leader, you know, or champion

or whatever some people call me, different names, but I think of it more as just this jet of like, I think of like of, I like to think of his view of us as like a general energy, more like, it's just something that's always there, no matter if even if things are horrible, it's there, No matter if even if things are horrible, it's there. And if things are good, it's there. You know? It's almost like this, like... It's like this code or something that kind of fits to whatever you need it to be.

I don't really think of it as like too much of like a rigid thing. So, yeah, I guess I wouldn't blame, like if something horrible happened, I don't know if I would take it to God. I would just be like, that's what we do here. Unfortunately in the world, you know, I might talk to God to try and have understanding and maybe I would blame him and he would let me blame him.

You know, that's one of the things he does, he just let you blame him. You know, I don't know. I don't know. I lets you blame him. You know, that, I don't know. I don't know. I like thinking about this though. Some of it's interesting, you know? Yeah, yeah. Because it's like, yeah, how do we,

and we all know if our brains can conceptualize everything. Like we're only, we only have five senses, you know? Yeah, yeah. I was just talking to my buddy about this the other day, like, dude, we only have five senses. Yeah. Not that many do. A lot of you done with that though. A lot of you don't know about that though.

A lot of you don't. No, no, and what people are doing a great job. No, but you're right. I feel like there's like parts of my brain that can't comprehend the concepts of time, you know what I mean? But we just try our best to get through that. Like I think about like the story of Job in the Bible. Like that one is, you know, even if you look at it,

you know, not literally, like where Job was this guy, and I'm going to just paraphrase it. Totally paraphrase. And look, if anybody judges something for paraphrase out of the Bible, we're not pastors. Yeah, yeah, we're just two people sitting somewhere behind our best to be alive in the universe. Yeah, that's true. But just things. But Job was put like, Joe was put through all these trials and all the worst things that you can imagine happening to one person and through it, he just maintained his faith. And even at a point where even at one point his wife was like, come on, are you serious? Like how can you still like praise God when you're, you know, you're losing your children, you're losing everything we've had, you know, and now you're sick and covered in boils

and on the brink of death, you know, and he was just like, praise God, you know. And I feel like a lot of times, you know, through my decades of tattooing people and hearing like the worst and saddest stories, like just, you know, I was kind of known for doing a lot of portraits. And so I would do portraits of people,

they're loved ones who have passed or they're loved ones who inspired them, things like that. And you just hear some of the most heart-wrenching stuff that I can't even begin to imagine like how you're still walking, you know? But they still find a way, you know? And I feel like, I wanna be like Job in that sense, you know, because like the last few years for me, I've been so rough, like behind the curtains, you know, I don't

share all of my, I'm not the type of person that goes on Instagram and cries, you know, but it's like, you know, we, we suffer quietly through things and we like, you know, no one's, no one has a perfect life and, um, but I'm still going to live in a state of gratitude, you know, and I'm still gonna be like excited to be here sitting with you today, you know, and it's like the world could be falling apart and I'm still like, I praise God, you know? Yeah. Yeah, it gives you hope, I think. Yeah.

That's the thing that I think that's, I don't know, I mean, yeah, I love that. Yeah, and we do all sit, it is interesting how we suffer quietly, huh? Yeah. I mean, some suffer loudly like a dick, but oh, yeah, like my freaking neighbors dog. I think it's not even suffering and But it's loud. Yeah Well, it's all gonna be okay. Yeah, I think that's what God is to a lot of people. It's a it's a real It's it's like I would way rather have Hope me too Then not have it. Yeah, that's the thing. It's like

And yeah, I don't know. I've just felt God. I've just felt God like same I just it was the only thing I could say it was yeah, you know, because one time I was smoking a bunch of menthols, I actually went back to cigarettes, but my girlfriend had broken up with me, and I was about to just, you know, peel my skin off of my body and feed it to something, and I wasn't doing real well. And I was just really doing real bad just on the inside.

I was just, and I just, I mean, I swear, it's crazy, I felt like something literally just like, put like a big hand, went around my heart, and I started to feel better. But I felt like it really felt like that, which is. Same, yeah. I had the exact same feeling. Yeah, it was weird.

And I don't really talk about it because then you sound all like, I wanna give a fuck, people know I'm that shit. You know, we're doing our best. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If anybody thinks, yeah, that they think I know anything about God, like any exact low key BTS information about the Lord, they're out of their rep in mind.

And if they think they do too, then they're out of their rep in mind. I just am trying to think out loud and feel out loud with somebody. Yeah. Is that what that, but you had something similar? Yeah, yeah, where I felt like, like a hand, like just kind of wrapping me in warmth and I just, I just had this feeling of surrendering to it. You know, where I was just like, oh man, like it's, it's going to be fine. And it's not, it's not me just be like, oh, tell myself until like, you know, like, no, like I had like a clear understanding that like, you got me, you know.

It's kind of cool. Mm. Yeah. Yeah, and what's interesting too for me is I've even taken my own will back so many times since then. Yeah. And that's the tough thing. I think that's where I want to get more into like,

just my morning routine. It's just like, turn of my, just die will be done, you know? She's in it just takes all the pressure off of me. It takes all the pressure off of me to like, feel like I have to make everything okay or that I gotta make everybody okay or that I have. What are those pressures like, like I don't know, I think I just feel,

I've always felt like I'm running late for something. I've felt that my whole life, like if I don't keep doing more, then I'm not enough. Or like if I don't do, I think I felt as a kid, like if I don't do something, like I just wasn't seeing my mother,

my mother didn't really look at me, right? And so I think I felt like I have to be perfect. If I'm not, the only way I have a chance of being seen is if I'm perfect, you know? And if I'm not perfect, then I just don't have a chance to be seen, you know? And yeah, it makes me sad to think that a kid would think that, you know?

But I think that's how I felt, you know, I think. And I'm not blaming my mother, I think, or my, you know, I don't know what their lives were like, but I just remember like, as I've got an older, I've been able to recognize that. Like man, if I just, that's what you were feeling for so long You know, I felt like I always needed to go do something to try and make myself better so that I was enough Same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, yeah

So I think When I say yeah, I will be done. It's like just letting like None of that matter. It does, everything's okay. Yeah. Yeah. You know, like, no matter how you are, if you're good or bad or if you're not doing your best,

if you're not even like, a lot of you're not even trying, really, I feel like you should try. Yeah. But just that everything is, you're just not alone, you know? Yeah. And so I think I've always had a tough time like letting people love me, you know? Yeah, it's been really, really tough.

Like in relationships or something? Yeah, I think I'm just, I think that muscle just wasn't built up when I was a child with my mother and so I just didn't, I just have had a tough time with it. And so I think the interesting thing about having, or through 12 steps, for me, is just been having some, trying to build some relationship. It's the first time that I've kind of

have really let somebody into my life is in my negotiations with God. Kind of, and I'd call them that, but that's kind of, you know, that makes sense though. Like how much of my will and to turn myself over to boot that somebody else is gonna, that somebody else is gonna be with me, you know? Even if I'm not enough,

or if I don't feel like I'm enough for them to keep me around. You know, anyway. Yeah, sorry. I don't know about it. But yeah, thank God. Yeah, I had this scenario this last week when I was in LA, actually, where I had this makeup line for 12 years and it did really great.

And then at one point, I got a bunch of backlash, and I ended up having to really sit with myself and figure out what I wanna do with my life if I wanna keep up this fight of, I mean, I don't know, there's like contractually things that I can't talk about anymore, but when I sold my makeup line, I had to sit there in a meeting with the production company and lawyers and stuff.

And I remember I just wanted to like shut it down. Like, let it go. Like, I don't wanna do this anymore, you know? And they were like, but I think they saw there's profits to be made and stuff. And so, in order to buy me out, like, you know, there was negotiations and at one point. And I was always very fair about things.

I don't, I wasn't asking for, you know, the world. And I remember at one point, this guy, this old man with like this balding old man with a potato nose, alcoholic potato nose, like looks me in the eyes and told me, you're not worth anything anymore. Like, like, looks at me in the eyes and told me, you're not worth anything anymore. Like, and those words in his voice, like, hot me still, even though I know it's not like, this guy's telling me what's cool.

Like, you know, and I know it was just like a leveraging point to whatever, try to give me as little as possible. But, so when I go to LA, I like, this is one thing that I don't thing that I do complain about where I'm at in Indiana is that there's no places to work out. And I actually, it's good for my health to work out. So when I go to LA, I'll fly in and then I just go to Barry's boot camp, which are people yelling at me to run faster.

And so, but if you've ever been to a Barry's workout, it's like there's no talking. And that's another thing I like about it. You just go, you workout, and then in between, like you do like floor work, and then you have to switch to the treadmill, right? And in between that you switch. And so we're right about to switch, and I'm just sitting there like,

this guy's boys gets in my head, I'm looking at myself in the mirror, and it's just like, like, you're not worth anything anymore. And I'm like, what am I doing my life? And I was like, on the verge of tears and right at that moment, this like blonde girl just comes up to me and was like, hey, get really quick.

I just want to tell you, I think you're so amazing. And I just like lost it. Like, and then she just went on her treadmill and like went, you know what, didn't see her again. And I was like, man, I know it's not, this is the part where you should blame God for like these beautiful divine like moments where it's like, man, you sent this girl to me

just to say like a few little words that like just changed my, you know, I was just like so grateful in that moment. I like went back home after that workout. I just went to my house and I was like, this girl just changed my life. You know, and he was just so grateful in that moment. I went back home after that workout. I just went to my house and I was like, this girl just changed my life. You know, and he was just like, yeah, why are you even listening to that?

I'm like, I know. And that was years ago. And I just still, I don't know what part of me. And it's probably my childhood stuff where, I don't know yours, but mine was constantly seeking validation through my mom. You know, that wasn't there. And it's like, and you know, like that wasn't there. And it's like, and you know,

I've gone to like years of therapy to like fix myself and stuff. So I'm not where I was before, but before I was like definitely like, oh yeah, like I need to do more. There's not enough, like there's so much I want to do that it hurts. And it's just like, and it's not,

it doesn't really matter if you have like a sea of people that are like cheering you on at the end of the day. It's like, it's just all in here, you know? But, yeah, it's just, it's crazy to see it in real time now. I feel like ever since I got to this place that I am now, like with, with my faith, like, I start seeing it in real time all the time where it's like, God's just kind of diving in and being like, cut that shit out. Like, you know, but I don't think it's ever gonna go away though.

You know? Yeah, and that childhood stuff and all that kind of, like, I don't suffer from that stuff every day. No, me, me, it just creeps in sometimes. Yeah, sometimes people shit, you know, they're like, man, you seem like you need, I'm like, I'm okay. Yeah. But it's still a part of me that lives inside of me.

Yeah. And sometimes there's still, I noticed there's a lot of feelings. Like I never got to have feelings when I was a kid. I didn't know. I was always in some type of mode of like, I need to be like, seen, I need to make sure my mother sees me so I'll be fed, just taking care, you know, whatever. So I, so at that point, you're not developing any other feelings except for like, you know, yeah, like a stress. Yeah. And so I think, yeah,

but I think the first time I've ever really been able to have some sort of a, even discussion of a relationship in my life has been through recovery and through the introduction of God that way, because it was like you get to choose your own God, right? And I've just chosen the most common God that I know and the one that I, you know, if friends, families would take me to church and stuff and so, and that's fine for me, you know,

it's, but I think a lot of that's interesting. Yeah, man, I can't, what gets me is that somebody would even want to work in a job. We're debating or negotiating for money is worth even the value of saying something to someone. Yeah. That's the sickest part of the world. I mean, it worked. I've definitely was like questioning myself

in that moment and was like, maybe I should just settle, you know, and it's like, you know, but lessons learned. I don't, I think everything turned out the way it was supposed to anyway, you know. But that's a lot of LA. It's like, you almost have to hire sick people to deal with other sick people in some of that. And it's like, you know,

but that's the nicest thing about being out of there. I think it's having some semblance of, like I don't have a manager, I don't have, I don't know. I've simplified my life too, it's crazy. And a lot of these things have just, because you know, I've been so used to being in this little bubble where it's like having the assistance and the managers

and all this stuff. And then it's like, we move out here and I was like, I can't really, I don't want to bring a compound of people over here. And we had a nanny, for example. And I wasn't blessed with a very close family. So when I had my son, it's not like I had a village of family that was helping us out.

Like it was just me and my husband by ourselves and it's fine. You know, we can do it. But then I ended up hiring a nanny who was like family to us, you know. And she would just come from nine to five so I could do all my work during the day. And then once we moved out here, it was like, I was kind of like left alone. And I was like, man, this is actually a cool being a full-time mom. I know it sounds so dumb to say that out loud, but like where I'm, it's just me 100% of the time

instead of having somebody help. And I think it's made me obviously a better mom. And, but you realize like with less, is sometimes easier, it's definitely less complicated. Like my life is definitely, like I let go of publicism and all that stuff. I mean, we'll definitely hire, when we have an album launch and stuff

I'll put together a team and we do things. But in general, I'm not dealing with a sea of people anymore and it is definitely liberating and it feels like just, there's just more benefits to it, I think. Like even when you guys hit me up and stuff, it's like I used to be like, oh yeah, I'll just let someone so hand on,

I'm like, oh it's cool, I'll just drive myself here, you know? Like, because Southern Indiana is not that far from here and I'm like, my son and my husband, we took a little road trip, you know? Oh, nice. Yeah, and then it's just like, like, it's just easier that way, you know? Yeah.

Oh, yeah, and these days, it's like, I don't want somebody fielding something that has no idea what my interests are. Or what, who I, or what, you know, they may have some idea what my interests are, but they're not gonna make the choices, you know, it's almost like a lot of that whole world is built on the shell system that you need somebody to help you be a human, you know.

But these days a lot of like, people don't even believe a lot of stuff in the press. Nobody takes it. I don't believe any of it. It's all a bunch of fucking sound cloud right, you know? It's all like a bunch of fucking sound cloud right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's all like a lot of fucking. I mean, if anything, usually if I see certain headlines, especially with my friends, I'm like, well, you already know the truth behind things and I'm like, oh, I'll be more,

my first thought is to be like, oh, it's probably the opposite. Yeah. Whatever it is out there. But I feel like do people still fall for it now? Probably. I don't know. Look, if you still fall, if you don't think that, I mean, there's just so, like I have friends, it's like, who is my friend the other day was telling me that there's some celebrity

that they pay a couple grand or something and then some, the people show up and take pictures of them and then it's going to be in some tabloids, but it's all set up and take pictures of them and then it's gonna be in some tablet. But it's all set up and none of it's like, it's all for show. None of it, it's not real, you know? It's like, and it's like, people will come out with a brand and then they'll call their friend in a magazine

and they're like, hey, can you say that this brand is amazing? And then their friend writes an article and says the brand is amazing. And we don't even know if the brand, it's just like so much of it is, it's just, valueless. Cause it's not true.

Yeah. You know, and I think that's the thing is just trying to sort out what's true. And I think that's what we're all trying to do. I think a lot of times just in our own lives even, it's like, well, what do I really think or feel? What's true, you know, I think that's something I've had an interesting time. So I mean, I mean, I think that's one of the reasons I've always loved you and everything

you do is like, there's a level of authenticity. And it's like, like earlier we were talking about style and stuff. And I'm like, I love your style because's it's just you're effortlessly doing it Whatever you like, you know, or unless there's a lot of effort. I don't know. I mean it took while I'm staying there and be like I don't know if this is okay But I do with that black coat cuz I know you like black stuff I wish I could be as brave as you I think I did think that's the reddest lipstick I've ever seen in my life But it's kind of a nice Christmas color too. Wait, what do you mean brave?

I think it's just brave to like... To put this on. To be like... Like, because I remember when I was in junior high school, my friend Matt Shenavear, he was like, he was a neat guy, and his brother played in a band. And I don't want to say the band was bad, but the band was bad,

but the band was probably had a unique sound. Okay. Okay, so. And their name was like, you know, like, shuttering, like it was something crazy, you know? Like desperate victim or something, you know, like definitely, like the name of the band was,

one guy was playing the drugs, but he was just fucking shaken with anger, so much in the of the sticks and his hand, and he was just keeping some type of a vague, wooden metal falsetto. And it was just that too, they were, you know, but so I would go sometimes and try to be like, and I would listen to like, blind melon and like,

fucking. Blind melon is like, and I would listen to like, blind melon and like, fucking. Blind melon is like, the one that. The girl I can say is my life. But they somehow rolled, I guess they weren't goth, but they were kind of hippie. I don't know if we had goth, maybe we had one dude. Oh yeah, goth was different, sorry. These were just kind of like-

Blind melon's like the office. Yeah, these were just kind of like, like, violent hippies office? Yeah, these were just kind of like violent hippies. Okay, all right. So that's kind of the group I was in for a little while was this violent hippie group. And then, but yeah, the goth kids were like those shoes that were like, and then they could sign it. But they had to wait till everybody left to walk back

because it was like such a uncomfortable walk sometimes. So like why are those goth kids still hanging out by the tree over there? Like, they're always in the trees, it's weird. There is even a website, I think it was called Goths and Trees. And for some, there's like a fascination with like, goth people that are like in trees.

I didn't, I've never felt the feeling calling, but I don't know, there's a lot of them. Yeah, that's cool. It's a thing. So go on. There it is, Goths and Trees, right there. It looks like it a few of them. They'll all hang out. I thing. So go on. There it is. Goss and trees. Look at it. Look at it.

Look at it. They all hang out. Oh, that guy's gone. That guy's gone. Oh, that guy is gone, dude. Yeah. They all hang out in trees. I don't understand.

Oh, there's something very edg-garal and po about it. You know? Because they're, because they're raven. I think so. And now this lady seems like it's a thing. I've never done it. Let's see more. This is fascinating. Wow. Now that guy is got. Yeah. Look at their inside trees. It's weird. I wonder if there's something about it that feels good to them. To our species. Yeah. I could see it. Now this is really interesting. She brought props. Oh, yes,

she's a sith. Uh-huh. Her sith or is it a sith? She's a sith. Oh, wow. Yeah, these are goss on on a tree house or yeah, it looks like a tree house or a zip line. Goss on zip line would be good too. But I love this. This is really fascinating. I used to love when there was some dope Tumblr pages out there. That's just fun, wasn't it? Yeah, but you were gonna get to the point where it's so you had the friends that were in the band.

And yeah, but yeah, and I thought I was goth, but I wasn't, I guess, yeah, we would just like listen to like skinny puppy or different bands, like, you know, epilepsy lizard or some kind of shit like that. And then yeah, that was it. That was about as, it's kind of as goth as I get, but I was always marveled at the people that could go full dark wing duck, you know,

like people that. People with that dark wing duck. Yeah, I think the people that like, and be like, whoa, this person, like how did they get to the corner? They flew here themselves, like that type of, I think there was something like interesting about it. Yeah.

And there was always like, there's such an allure I think about that sort of woman. Or yeah, I would probably say woman more because I think it's like a, there's something interesting about a goth person. What is it? What is it about goth people? Why is it like a like the loose screws probably or what is it?

Like why do they what is it like the the calling towards like is there like a code of conduct or something? I mean, there's got to be some childhood stuff, right? I mean, I know for me, I like I said I never felt a sense of conduct or something? I mean, there's gotta be some childhood stuff, right? I mean, I know for me, like I said, I never felt a sense of belonging even within my own family unit. So I remember discovering music and then not necessarily seeing myself, but like there was a reflection

of emotions happening. Like when I love the cure and choosing the Banshee's to push, and I think like, lyrically, and just like this, the soul to it, I feel like a lot of people are sensitive in that sense, but then they just like take it to the outward expression

of that, but I don't know. I just like it. Maybe that's it. Maybe like, I, I'm always, Maybe that's it. Maybe like a way to be seen too, because I guess it was an outlier, like I grew up in a small town. So, but it's kind of not,

because like, right, because you have your own group then. Like, is that what you mean? Well, I mean, I don't know, I, I'm not judging, I'm just looking at it. I'm like, it's just like, it's funny, like even this morning when I was getting ready,

I was like, you know, I feel like, I tend to dress very, I cover all the time. Like, I don't, I very rarely show my tattoos at all. And I was like, you know, I'm gonna change it up. I'm gonna go see Theo today and I'll just wear short sleeves, you know? But I feel like I would always get tattooed for myself.

Like, I just like to look at images or like what it looks like with the appearance of it. I, in the appearance of it. I'm in the middle of nowhere in Indiana like I dress like this every day. And it's like, but it's not for anybody else other than why are you laughing? I could just see how many men got it. I pulled it back at home like honey, I've seen a damn apparition down there. Damn, this neighborhood's going shit.

So. You think? Really? I think there's something interesting about, or no, there's something. I look, I think a lot of men, I remember in our town, a lot of men would go and cry over by the wind dixie and their truck, I remember. Why? I don't know why, but we would go ride our bike over there sometimes.

It was like a sad place. I think men would just go sit over there and be sad sometimes. I remember seeing that. But yeah, I think there was something very alluring about a God woman to me. It seemed like a siren, you know, like in that book for Odysseus.

You know what I'm talking about? It seemed that's what it seemed like. There was like something like what's going on? Yeah. This is different. It's different, you know? I think it's what's brave to be different. I think so that may be like,

yeah, it was an element of like this feels brave to me. Like I'm just interested how somebody kind of leans into that or how they, you know, not that they're joining a group, but it's like, what, how does that kind of, yeah, what is, what is one goth, you know? Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I just like what I like, I think,

and I just do more of that or do a lot of that, I guess. Yeah. Yeah, it's interesting. I've never gotten a, you know, I think there's maybe a might've dated a goth woman at some point. I don't remember. But I probably, I think I could have. I think I did.

She didn't write you a poem? Huh, I'm sure she did. I'm sure. Dude, I was in the French court of the other day with my brother and there's people there if you go up to them. They'll write a poem for you and your friend. About you, is it funny or is it like a nice poem?

They're like, okay, tell us a little bit about yourself. And I was like, oh, this is my brother. And so you tell him a couple little things. And then you have to stay in there for about 11 minutes. That's the tough part. Because they're on typewriters. Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. And they're all sitting there on typewriters.

Like a row of like four of them and everybody's just like, and there's like music playing. Like people are playing the street music and It was pretty awesome. We had a great time and yeah, we got a nice little Christmas gift there. It was cool It was super cool. Yeah, it was real nice But yeah, they yeah, yeah, I was well. I was in a class with this lady and she was She smoked a lot of we like her. Some of her. I think she had discolored a teeth from them belt, but um She was awesome. She was like the stone or teacher kind of a red stone

and we would write poems in there all day. So I think that's maybe where I saw some guys. Where her teeth, they were yellow. I think they had a tint to them. I don't want to, yeah, I don't want to call, you know, I don't know if she could have had a, I'm so self conscious about my teeth lately. I feel like in pictures, because I wear lipstick all the time.

No, I'm looking at yours, yours are super white, mine are not. I mean, not white. And I was like, I even Googled like, why? Because I brush and floss like crazy and I quit smoking. So I thought, oh, I'm gonna get white teeth. It's gonna be amazing.

And then I just, it's just not happening. I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to get, I won't get the fake teeth that everyone's getting now. This is crazy. Everyone looks crazy. Hey, brother. They look so crazy.

Everyone. I don't want to be blind. I'm like, damn, what have you been eating, buddy? Electricity? Huh? What have you been eating, dude? Maybe you got gloss finish teeth? Which crazies of your teeth look very nice.

I would, yeah. Your teeth are wider than your skin. No, your teeth are so white. No, uh. Yeah, huh. Oh, I guarantee you that. But this is, look, everybody watches like, these people have the yellow as fuck

and teeth these idiots. I just, well, I'll live with my yellow if it means not having like, chicklet teeth, or whatever their one has. Oh, my mom was always brushing her teeth and putting on a hand cream. Yeah.

Oh, our house could be burning down, but as long as she was getting her hand cream on. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty cool though actually. I think, yeah, it was just, you know, she don't always have that hand cream. But, boy, you like to have it. I think it was probably calming to her too,

maybe to be doing to kind of do this with her hands. I wonder what my son's gonna take away from, like, that's one of your little core memories, and I'm like, I wonder what... Oh, what his will be? Yeah. Cause he's so sweet. He learned the word ravishing.

Now he's like, this morning, mom, you look ravishing. I'm like, thanks. You're like, go get in that tree for family pictures. Actually, no. Dude, that would be a nightmare. No, we do, we do, we do a lot of family portraits together. And I like, I love our little family because we just, we look like a little family, you know, like my son, he is not scared about like what I think I'm not scared, but like spooky

to him is fun because it's what he's around, you know what I mean? He's normal, but spooky to him is fun because he's a round. He's normal is a lot different than normal kids. And we get a lot of criticism about that too, because he wears black or he'll, I'm like, that's what he likes. At this point, he sees his dad or his mom. It's normal to him. So we did a photo shoot for this,

it was actually for like an interview, like for a magazine thing. And they wanted to shoot us in front of our house. And so it's like, oh, there's like this little fountain and I had like my little like Tim Burton, like Parasol thing. And people just hated it. I think they just hated seeing,

like it bothers them that we don't look normal. Wow. It's really weird. I would just be able to think like, oh, that's cute. It's. I don't understand, it's really weird. I wouldn't think like, oh, that's cute. It's very like Adam's family or something, you know? Well, even like we're saying earlier, people want to put, and I'll do it too. I want to have a box.

I want to have a safe space for things to be and I don't want things to, I'm okay with you, I just praying, but I think there's a part of me even like a system of organization, I think. Yeah. Because your brain, all your brain does is just organizers. Yeah, that's true. That's true. So I think when things start to get a little weary, they don't know what's going on. Yeah.

What's your husband like? He's cool. His name is Rafael, and my son's name is Leah Far, which is Rafael spelled backwards. He's a far. Yeah, it's pretty cool. Wow. I know I wish I had a cool name that sounded good backwards. Yeah.

I don't. Yeah. But it's cool. He doesn't. I just read it. I know. Sorry. Sorry.

But yeah. Denov attack. Denov attack. But yeah, it's very, you should get your son a vulture or something for Christmas. I bet. Anyway, sorry. Sorry. I'm sorry for making so many jokes about it.

I love it. You're aesthetic and stuff. Yeah. But it's cool. I'm very accurate though. Well, I wish I got to talk to more people that alike or goth people, I think. I don't ever do. I don't know if I don't go to enough goth places. I think I've always kind of had a affinity for goth women, I think I don't ever do, I don't know if I don't go to enough goth places.

I think I've always kind of had a affinity for goth women maybe I think. Oh, my brother likes goth women too, I think. Are he like creative ladies, kind of like artsy? Yeah, and yeah, I think where I was growing up, being artsy was weird, you know? I think it was like people thought you was gay or something, you know, where you was dating gay or whatever,

if you, you know, did, like I remember if you got or something, you know, or you was damn gay or whatever if you you know did like I remember if you got good Great, you know people thought you were homosexual, you know, oh, yeah, dude, and so it was like Yeah, so I think being brave enough probably yeah, and when I was little to have a somebody be like unique yeah, like you seem, like you are, I think that would have been, so maybe that's why I think it's really fascinating. I mean, I think it's maybe the trauma,

like that's, like, like, cause I think about why do I think cigarettes are sexy, right? Like, because there's this, like sense of like, you don't care that you're damaging yourself. Oh, yeah. And there's like a, I'm not a danger to it, but just like, it's self-destructive a little bit. And I think with maybe it's just like, there, I don't know, like some, some of my favorite bands and the music I listen to, it's like, there's some stuff that I'm like, oh, they're, they're good, but you could tell they just, like, they don't have any trauma. Like, so it's like, I just don't listen to happy me.

I don't like happy. I don't, I'm not attracted to it, you know what I mean? Yeah. So yeah, maybe that's what it's, what it takes. I know I've had trauma. I mean, I've seen some crazy things. Do a lot of people mistake you and Dave Navarro ever? No. No.

But you know what I do, hey, it's like, because I really wanna have bangs, and every time I've ever cut bangs, people say that I look like Cher, and I don't think I look anything like Cher. I think it's because we have a deep voice, right? Oh, yeah, that could be it.

I saw Cher at a game, she was running around with a young brother at a super Bowl last year. Yeah. She's dating like a 17 year old, I think, or 18, sorry. Yeah. But yeah. Yeah, but I don't look like David Navarro.

Take that back. Sorry, you don't look anything like David Navarro. I was just trying to think if somebody were like really ridiculous, they would run up and say that. Dude, the saddest thing that his mother got murdered. I know, I did a portrait of her on him. You did?

Yeah. No way. Wow. The street I lived on was where it happened in Los Angeles. Oh, really? Yeah, and it always, always think about him all the time. For some reason, I guess because of that or something. Is the interesting guy, I never got to meet him. Uh- got to meet him. I don't really know him that well. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I never got to know him or know anything about him. But yeah, I just remember that. I like Jane's addiction. Oh, dude. Yeah. Bro, a friend of mine through his one-year-old birthday's kid, his kid's birthday at Perry Farrell's house, right? Oh, cool. So I knew about Perry. I didn't know. I knew about Jane's addiction, but I didn't know Perry Farrell's house, right? Oh, cool. So I knew about Perry, I didn't know, I knew about Jane's addiction, but I didn't know Perry Farrell, right? So I'm over there just kind of lurking, lowering. Wait, wait, somebody's kids birthday?

Yeah, my friend, they didn't have a lot of, like they, like, you know, in L.A. a lot of times if somebody finally gets a nice house, everybody starts throwing their children's parties there because it's a big enough space. Yeah, okay. So yeah, they did it there and Perry Farrell was in there.

And I didn't know I was just kind of loitering around in the other room, because I'm hanging out with a bunch of fucking one-year-olds. You know what I'm saying? Well, I was just thinking about this year because it was my kids birthday, right? And he's like super into Billy Idol right now. Like, he loves Billy Idol.

And he, not even Billy Idol, he loves Steve Stevens, which is the guitarist to Billy Idol. And I just love that my kid thinks he's so cool, you know? And he has this little like plastic red guitar that like he'll be in front of the mirror at the house and he'll make the faces like Steve Stevens. And so I tattooed Steve a while back. I did a portrait of his beautiful wife on him.

And I was like a Texan. I'm like and I sent him a video of my son like. And in the video I'm like, Hey, who are you? And he's like, I'm Steve Stevens. And like, you know, it's cool. And so there's a picture of him Stevens. I'm like, you know, I'm just like, cool. And so- There's a picture of him there.

Yeah, right? That's cool. Exactly. I'm like, oh, I love it. See, my son gets it, you know? And so I was like, should I, because my friends were like, are you gonna ask him to come? Because I did a rock and roll theme part,

birthday party for him. I'm like, you're gonna ask Steve Stevens to come? And I was like, no, dude, I'm not gonna do that. Because I feel like, that's one thing that irks me about like LA people that they'll do that when they get weird about their kids and they'll be like, I wanna get, like without naming names, I've like dated some people that put their kids on these weird pedestals

and they'll like use their name to get people to, you know? So it's like, I was like, no, I'm not gonna, and also like it'll be weird if he just like shows up and is just hanging out with like a bunch of, and a five year old if you say no, the five year old. Or just, it'll I'm not gonna, and also it'll be weird if he just shows up and is just hanging out with a bunch of- And a five year old if you say, no, the five room. Yeah, or just it'll be boring for him, right? Yeah, it's like, it's like him and Steve's even take a walk and talk about their careers

or whatever together. It's like, yeah, that part I think when we got to the phrase part, I think it'll be really probably sweepier son. Even though I did ask Leophar, I'm like, hey, what would you do if Steve, if you hung out with Steve's like, I'll take him to the pirate park. Because there's like a pirate ship park there, I, like, hey, what would you do if Steve, if you hung out with Steve, like, I'll take him to the pirate park.

Because there's like a pirate ship park there. I'm like, oh, cool. Show him your Sonic the Hedgehog toy. Did you, um, but one time, so one time a long time ago, Kirstie Alley hit me up. Really? And was like, hey, my son, true, is like your biggest fan and he's having, and this is when

he was really little. I think he's like an adult now. But we're having a Kat Von D theme birthday party and she showed me the cake and she's like, she's like, I know it's weird and annoying, but do you think you could come over and just like surprise him? And I was just like, Kristielly's so cool, you know? Like, I loved her, you know? And I was like, should I go over there?

And I was tattooing that day and afterwards, I just rolled up and it was just so awkward. Because it was just like, hi. And then you're just like, I don't have any tricks, like, you know, there's nothing to do. So, yeah. Oh, there's nothing weird that when you realize you don't have a skill,

like an actual skill. Yeah, I'll say, like, make balloons or something. Unless you start tattooing a skill, like an actual skill, like make balloons or something. Unless you start tattooing little kids, you know. Dude, my best friend Scott, his aunt worked with Kirstie Alley and we went out to Maine one time. Why is that? That's where they live at, like out on Al's Burl Island.

Really? So we got to go out there and we got to go eat dinner at our house one. Oh cool. It was a pretty cool thing. I remember he's not that great, but I think it was pretty great. Yeah. And she had a tennis court that was like kind of in the ocean on these rocks. Really?

Literally in the ocean. So it was just like. So cool. And being on like Maine is so like, you know, it's like so just like, yeah, we'll see about that. You know, it's got that fucking grid in it. Yeah. Stephen King grit.

Yeah, a lot of fucking domestic abuse up there as well. I'm not pointing fingers, but you could point him anywhere up there and you'd be right. But yeah, I love that place. Portland, Maine, have you been there? Portland, no. One of my most favorite cities. Oh, really?

Yeah, I didn't know it would be amazing, and it was actually blew my mind. Okay. Is there a place that you really like? I'm not going to say it because it's Ubergoth. Oh, it is. Transylvania. No, I would say Prague was my favorite place. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, just the Gothic architecture and stuff. And also, I love Beethoven. And like, I'm going gonna be a nerd right now, but one of his apartments is there. And so I went and like took a picture and wrote the apartment and everything. Oh, that's cool. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm trying to think if I've seen anybody's good death place or place that's like, have you ever done any weird like rituals or something? I'm sure people think that you've done some. No, no, but my friend and I, we used to collect pictures at cemeteries all around the world, which I thought was cool. Yeah.

Yeah, like the, I think my two favorite cemeteries that I've ever been to, well, there's three, but they're obviously in Paris. There's the famous one where I eat a piaf and Oscar Wilde and everyone else is buried there. And then there's one in Argentina that is's the famous one where it eat with Piaf and Oscar Wilde and everyone else is buried there. And then there's one in Argentina that is like the coolest one ever and there's like this huge wait list to get buried there, but it's just the most monumental mosques or whatever

they're called, but super cool. You just walk and see all the architecture. Yeah. And New Orleans is like that too. I went to the New Orleans was good, but it was right after the Hurricane Katrina, a lot of the like body parts and things. Her back up.

Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people coming back to like, probably get money from the government or whatever, like even bodies were like, you know, you see an arm coming out of the ground, like give me a check, you know. It's just like, I gotta sit here,

I think over there. Yeah. What else do you wanna do? You've had an interesting life, Kat. Yeah. And look, I know some of the things we say, like being able to leave Los Angeles and do that kind of things, we've at least had enough,

been able to, like, I don't know. I sometimes wondered, does that seem like ego-tastic or, you know? I mean, I never want to put down like LA because I love LA, you know? Like, I love the dirt there. I love my friends. I love a lot of aspects of it. Yeah, and the weather being I'm going to go to the beach if you want. Oh, the beach. Oh yeah, that's true, Mom. That's your archanimesis. Yeah, the sun. Yeah, I forgot about that. Sorry. You got to put me back in that little box with a bow on it. Yeah. I know.

What if your name had been cat vitamin D? That would have been so ironic. Well, you know, I thought like, what if you and I would have gotten married? Then my name would have been Cat Von Vaughn. Yeah. Yup. Yeah. Yeah.

You're like, damn, this lady is interested in looking, but even crazier. She's got dyslexia. Who that started? Yeah, the stutter a nice landic chick. Yeah, she's something. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. Oh, there's some pictures from that we had of some tattoos that We wanted to just look at with you, was that okay for a minute? I'm sure people have done this a lot. Do I have to say bad things about them?

No, no, no, no. Okay. We can just say what everyone, oh, but I want to ask about your tattoos. So you are getting inked out. What is it? Is there a term for it's really fascinating looking at it? Yeah, I was one of those hairless cats.

Yeah, I have hairless cats. Yeah, I just, I've been blacking out all my tattoos. And so I'm in the process. I have like almost just, I've been blacking out all my tattoos. And so, I'm in the process, I have like, almost 80% of my body done now. Oh my God. Yeah, but it's not gonna look like a, like I'm wearing a scuba diving like, bang, I'm gonna have like these like black flowers kind of,

so how long does this process take? So I think I'm up to 40 hours now. So, but I mean, I've done like the answer. Yeah, but in increments, I go and I can't sit for more than two or three hours. And there's this guy in in Philly that he like specializes in it. But it's funny because you know, when I first got into tattooing was during a time when there was no tattoo shows or anything. So it was like, you would not get hired if you had a face tattoo or, you know what I mean?

It was a different era. And then I think when like certain celebrities started getting tattooed like the Jubari Moors and the Angelina Jolie's like it started kind of bringing it to the like if you had a tattoo a cute one, it was okay, you know. And then the TV shows like blew up and then everybody has a tattoo, a cute one, it was okay, you know? And then the TV show is like blew up and then everybody has a tattoo now. And it's kind of boring, but, but I feel like ever since I started blacking out my tattoos,

I feel like I went back to the time where people hated tattoos again because people just do not like this. They're like, they're very confused by why I'm doing this. Every time I post progress shots, it's always like, why are you doing this to yourself? Like this is so ugly, like this is They're very confused by why I'm doing this. Every time I post progress shots, it's always like, why are you doing this to yourself? This is so ugly. This is, you know, I think it looks for some reason. I didn't know what, I think it looks nice. I do too. I like the, it's very interesting. Yeah. It's almost fascinating in a strange way.

Like it's like the inverse of something. Yeah. exactly. You know, it's like that car, it's like, car, I don't know what it is. But it's, yeah, it's, I'm not, I don't like pain. So I, you know, I just numb myself up and, you know, he sits there and touches me. When you say numb yourself, what do you put on an analgesic or something, where you do a pill.

Top of a conocetix, like a cream. Does that work really? Yeah, I mean, it saves me like a good an hour and a half or something where you do a pillow. Top of a anesthetics, like a cream. Does that work really? Yeah, I mean, it saves me like a good an hour and a half or something like that. Yeah, no, I can't do pills, I can't do anything. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I can't do nothing like that, boy. Nope. I don't do no pills, Bubby. Yeah. And so how much, now you're gonna get 80% of your body done? No, I'm gonna do all of it. Your whole body's gonna be in a, in a, in a, in dark ink. Uh-huh.

Your whole body's gonna be in dark ink. Yeah. And now what? But it'll have like sections that are like, you know, like see how they're just... Okay, so parts that aren't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Interest.

Wow, it's almost like, uh, of like staying glass or something for some reason. It'll look nice. I mean, like people need to trust the process. It'll look good at the end. Yeah, if anybody has an eye for something that's unique or trying to do something new, I like that. It seemed like you would be at least granted that ability to experiment. Oh, yeah, here's a video of you right here.

Yeah, so that's like my last session I did. Wow. I felt like, Oh, what is that? Boy, is that a damn cake cutter? That's 40 needles. Yeah, damn brother, that thing. Oh.

Wow. Yeah. That's cool. Where do your folks have your folks been to visit your new place? My dad has, yeah. My dad's my contractor, so. Oh, he is, huh? Oh, good.

You can bitch at him easier. And what about your mom? She lives in Southern California. Oh, yeah. Are you guys close or not? Not as close, yeah. But I think, you know, once I, when I had my son, I feel like she likes being a grandma on the...

Oh, she does? Yeah, I think so. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah, that's one thing that's fascinating about kids that like gives your family a chance to like, regroup a little, I think. You know, I remember when my niece was born,

it just like was the first time that our family started to have any semblance of a family about. Oh, really? Because we all had one thing in common that we cared about. Yeah. And it was undisputable. And so it was like, it starts to,

like other things start to kind of bloom from that a little bit. That's cool. Yeah, that must be traumatic hearing people's stories when they come and tattoo. Because some people are coming with a story, huh? Yeah, every single one. I don't think I've ever tattooed somebody that just, you know, was getting tattooed out of boredom

or anything like that. Yeah. A lot of our therapists in the world are getting, they're oversaturated with pain, I think, from other people. Yeah. Yeah. What do you mean? I just think there's a lot of therapists. A lot of my friends that are therapists, they are oversaturated with people, you know, because even if somebody shares their story about comfort or pain, it still lands on somebody. Yeah. And I find a lot of my friends that are therapists are starting to struggle because they are like waterlogged. Yeah.

With other people's like trauma and sharing of it and stuff. Yeah, that's gonna be a heavy job. Well, that's what I thought, when you said it about tattoo work, is that never thought it? Or artists, tattoo artists, I'd never thought about that. Yeah. I mean, I love hearing people's stories, so I'm always very welcoming to that.

Or I was welcoming to all that stuff. So, you know, I never bothered me, but I know that a lot of tattooers didn't wanna. Didn't wanna hear it? Yeah. What would they do? What do you say, quiet tattoo time only? No, I just think that like,

I think when the TV shows came out, people saw it as an outlet for therapy, which it can be, you know, but some people saw it as an outlet for therapy, which it can be, you know, but some people aren't equipped emotionally to do that, you know. For me, I'm like, I, I can talk about anything I don't care. Yeah, you know, and I ended up studying books on death and everything just so I could better understand grieving processes and stuff. I'm not a therapist by any means, but, you know, well, these days anybody will listen

to somebody caringly, I think, is better than has. Sometimes it's better even than half the stuff we have out there. Yeah. There's a lot of shit therapists out there too. Yeah, yeah. Because anybody can do it. Yeah.

You just have to go to school and then they'll let you do it. Yeah. That's like crazy. Yeah, I wonder how much that works. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, there's a lot of great therapists too. Well, you have a lot of therapists friends.

Yeah, a lot of friends that are therapists and you just start to see that they're getting. I start to notice a lot of them having a tough time and it's like, I think a lot of that is just them taking on that people's pain, you know? And I'd never thought that tattoo artists hear a lot of it. Yeah.

I just never even thought about it. Yeah, I mean, I'd different types, I'm sure. Like if you're doing, you know, dragons all day, I'm sure it thought about it. Yeah, I mean, I different types. I'm sure like if you're doing, you know, dragons all day, I'm sure it's not the same experience, but which what's the toughest part for somebody to get a tattoo on them? What do you mean toughest like the hardest part? Yeah. I think like some people assume that like if you have like a fatty area, it's not going to hurt as much, but it's more

based on your nerve setup. So, you know, fatty area, it's not gonna hurt as much, but it's more based on your nerve setup. So, you're spine, you're gonna have a lot of nerve branching off of it. So places like your lower back or your butt, things like that are pretty sensitive, but I remember. Like your butt cheek is sensitive? I remember the crease where my leg meets my butt was fired. I like how that seems scary. The back of your kneecaps, like,

woo. Do you think there's something about the pain of getting the tattoo that is also part of the? I don't know. I don't, I never, I'm not one of those people. I know there's like, can't keep people on. I never like, I was. That's not their thing.

I don't know. I have a hard time with it. Yeah, I don't like it. Anything else we can think about or talk about? Do you ever find that video in McCulley, Colken? Yeah, it is. I just thought that this was interesting. I'd like to say Brenda.

You're absolutely everything. You're my champion. You're the only person happier for me today than I am. You're not only the best one I've ever known, you're the best person. I've ever known. You've given me just all my purpose. You've given me family. You know, and after the birth of our two boys you become one of my three favorite people. You're somewhere in there. But I love you. I love you so much.

So yeah, to wrap things up and in the spirit of the holiday season, I just want to say Merry Christmas. You feel the animals Life is like there's a part in the beginning of that where he seems kind of you kind of like he still seems like a kid and a man Hmm. I never heard his speaking voice like as an adult until now. Is there anything else that you'd like to talk about, Chad? Is there any other like endeavours you think about in your world? Do you think you'll go back to tattooing? Or do you still do it?

Is that a weird question? I don't know what's on about tattooing. No, no, it's cool. Yeah, I think I'll always want to tattoo until my eyesight goes or something. But I don't know if I'm interested in doing like I just you know, I stopped doing tattoos for money Decades ago. It's been like

you know almost Like 15 years or something like I just I just tattoo my friends, you know, oh, yeah, yeah, cuz I think the dynamic is Can be pretty intense sometimes if you're tattooing like people you don't know. Yeah. So, because you're like in a room together, intimately for like, you know, or stuck in there.

Sometimes it had been a nightmare being stuck in a room with somebody. I'm never alone, but like usually when I used to tattoo strangers, but now, you know, I just tattoo my friends. Do people like say they hire you for like a specific guest tattoo? Like is that kind of thing? Happened as a tattoo artist? Like when you get to have a claim as a tattoo artist, do they say like, I want you to come

and do my tattoo? Like I want to hire you like, like, how do you book an appointment? You mean or like specifically like, does that happen? Like somebody will might like, uh, come, come miss it, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, come, the backstory, that kind of thing, and then we would have like a booking process. But now do people, does it ever, you get a ring from like a prince of like, not a kid or something, and they wanna, does that happen to? Yeah, and I don't like that.

Okay. I don't like when people like, like, want me to go to them. Cause like, first of all, it's like, you're creating a sterile environment, and so like, I don't wanna do that in your kitchen, you know? Right. I've only done that like a times for my friends' friends,

but something about, I don't know, I don't like feeling like a stripper or something. Oh, so there's something about that then. I had it then to rest. Yeah, I would hate to be a stripper. I would be so bad at it. I don't like people see them, I think like my butt him, I think, like my butt sometimes.

Like sometimes if I hook up with a woman or something, I'll walk out of the room backwards. They don't look in the mirror. Really? Yeah. I don't think he's here. Rob, I was worried about that. Nothing is wrong with that.

I think I just like, I think just- Just know that when you stand up after we're done here, I think people would just be nervous. I think because I know I look at people's butts sometimes on this like, dude, so I just gotta stop looking at people. I'm self-conscious about that stuff too, to be honest. Like I feel like I even in photoshoots I'll always try and conceal myself somehow.

Yeah. I was like, hide behind things, but. Yeah, I love to be. Dude, I play on go see, I go hide, I'd fucking leave. I'd go home, dude. My buddy's out there looking for me for three hours, bro. Fuck him, son. That's life, you better get you to it, buddy.

Yep, thank you so much, Cap, on D and everybody. You just, you know, you can just find her wherever you usually find people in. Best of luck with you, new home. I wanna see when that tool of gardens, you know. I know, yeah, you have to come up. Yeah, what's the ETA on that thing? I think in spring is usually when they come up. Yeah, boy Yeah, that's gonna be interesting. Oh, you got to get a good scarecrow in it

Yeah, maybe not yeah, you could I do you don't want to it's fun. Yeah, that's all good Thank you so much. Yeah, no worries, thanks for having me. Yeah. Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be. Corn and stone. Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mine. I found I can see it in my bones

But it's gonna take