This Past Weekend - E490 Brittany Broski
Episode Date: March 26, 2024Brittany Broski is a comedian, podcaster and content creator originally from Dallas, Texas. In addition to her viral clips online, she is known for her shows “The Broski Report” and “The Royal C...ourt”, both available on YouTube. Brittany Broski joins This Past Weekend with Theo Von to chat about growing up in Texas, living in South Korea as an air-force kid, her terrible job as an insurance agent, blowing up on Tik Tok, why she desperately needs Caleb Pressley, her love for the Renaissance Fair, problematic McDonald’s characters, and much more. Brittany Broski: https://www.instagram.com/brittany_broski/ ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Shopify: Go to http://shopify.com/theo to sign up for a $1-per-month free trial. Babbel: Go to http://babbel.com/theo to get 55% off your Babbel subscription. BetterHelp: This show is sponsored by BetterHelp - go to http://betterhelp.com/theo to get 10% off your first month. ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3A_coTcUek ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling,
winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling saying I do.
Who wants this last parachute? I do.
Enjoy the number one feeling, winning, in an exciting live dealer studio,
exclusively on FanDuel Casino, where winning is undefeated.
19 plus and physically located in Ontario.
Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit
connectsontario.com. Please play responsibly. Today's guest has her own podcast, the Broski Report.
She's a comedian, a content creator, whatever that term means, and she is one of a kind. I'm thankful to spend time with her today,
Miss Brittany Roske.
I'm on the road. I'm on the road.
I'm on the road.
I'm on the road.
I'm on the road.
I'm on the road.
I'm on the road.
I'm on the road.
I'm on the road.
I'm on the road.
I'm on the road.
I'm on the road.
I'm on the road. I'm on the road. Oh, that's sweet of you to say that. Yeah, what's going on? How's your day going?
Man, uh, I've been up since like seven. Really? Doing a podcast tour today. Are you? Yeah. I did um,
Do you know Cody Ko? He's a youtuber. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I know who he is. White guy. He's in the white guy network.
The funny white guy network. Uh, yeah. WGN. That's him. You got the WGN? Yeah, I filmed with him this morning.
Oh, that's great, huh? I was podcasting a lot. I've got my own podcast as well. Yep, the Broski Report. You got the WGN? Yeah, I filmed with him this morning. Oh, that's great, huh? I was podcasting a lot
I've got my own podcast as well. Yep, the Brozki Report. You got it. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, I was watching a clip of I was watching an episode actually and you're singing you were like
You're like a um
Singer thanks. That's nice., that Celine Dion song. Oh, you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're only you're know you're extremely funny. Thanks so much. Yeah. Wow.
Some of your stuff, like the stuff where you're like in bed
and like-
On the toilet.
Yeah, I'm like on Secret Britney, I guess,
is the one I'm on.
You do not follow my account.
Is that yours?
Yes!
Yeah.
Oh, I'll freak out.
So I like Secret Britney and the...
Yeah, just the... it's just so.
I think it's called aggravated mental illness.
Okay.
That's kind of, I think the medical term.
Is that what it feels like?
It's what it feels like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's kind of like, you remember when they used
to tour circuses of people?
Oh yeah, you mean like the specialty guy,
like this lady can catch her ovary in her mouth or whatever.
Bearded woman, I feel like bearded woman sometimes.
Like, look!
But it's me filming it being like, check this shit out.
That's how I feel sometimes.
You know?
Yeah, sometimes it is weird because you're the subject and the director.
Exactly.
Yeah.
That's interesting.
It's like found footage.
Yeah.
Of yourself.
Of myself.
Yeah, my brother called me that.
He's like, man, I'm watching this video
and it just, this old comedy video,
you just made me damn tear up.
And like, I don't know what he's talking about.
It's like a clip somebody made or something.
Yeah.
I'm like trying to fucking get some Chick-fil-A.
I'm like, ugh.
I hate that when you're having a sentimental moment
where you have to roll down the window
to tell the Chick-fil-A person what you want. Yep. You're like one second. Yeah, let me get a
Six-piece grilled you ever tried their grilled nuggets. Ah delicious really? Yeah, I would recommend
You know, there's supposed to be a secret menu at McDonald's
Mmm, have you heard about that?
Yeah, I'm not in the secret menu club. Can you look up some of these secret items that they have over there?
Is this like, you mean like seasonal? Oh, what is this?
Yeah, you can add an egg to your burger.
Now, what do we think is in a McDonald's egg?
Probably not any egg.
I mean, yeah, I don't, yeah, it's probably mostly, it's got to be have some egg in it, huh?
Yeah, I wonder if you raise a McDonald's egg to completion.
Yeah. Is that the term?
Okay, from fertilization to burger.
Right. From when Grimace and whoever.
Who is the, can you look up who's the racist McDonald's guy?
Isn't it the Irish one?
You know about this Lord,
the like Seamus O something O'Hanigan?
He's like this forbidden McDonald's character
that's like a raging,
he like fights for the IRA or something like that.
Oh, he does.
But it's like made up.
For the Irish.
Republican army, you got it.
Oh, that's who it is, huh?
Irish Central, here we go.
Oh yeah, Irish Central. Who was Uncle O'Gremacy and was he really in the IRA?
Wow.
So this is a real, how the 1970s Shamrock,
shake toting McDonald's mascot, Uncle O'Gremacy.
Uncle, he diddled somebody.
Gotten mixed up with the IRA.
They used to have some really intense storylines
before America was like, we can't handle this.
Yeah, we need to lock this down.
With St. Patrick's Day season upon us,
oh, the legend of Uncle O'Grimacy,
as well as his cringey green shamrock vest
and diddly eye accent lives on in YouTube,
thanks in part to the US-based nonprofit.
Is there a video?
Oh, no way. Here we we go McDonald's shamrock shakes
Come and match me shamrock shakes! Shamrock shakes are back!
Let's celebrate at McDonald's!
Shamrock shakes, they're a beautiful green!
They just have guns.
Shamrock shakes, they're a beautiful green!
Shamrock shakes, they're a beautiful green!
Uncle of Grimacy!
Oh, so they're trying to bring a new character and I guess it just didn't stick, huh?
I guess not. I do love how these character shapes are just kind of nutsacky in general.
They were both kind of nut shaped.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah, I think they want to give you a,
like a comfortable,
like, hey, you could look like this.
This is the ideal male form.
Keep coming here.
Yes. You could look, you could be one of us. Yeah, what happened
to that uncle O'Sharnon? If you look it up, brother. Yeah, I just want to, I do want us
to get to the end of what actually happened. Yeah, I don't know how his story ends. Here
we go. Introduced the new mascot, Uncle of Grimacey, in 1975. The Irish uncle of the purple mascot, Grimace.
Oh, he was an actual uncle.
They're related.
They did a 23 and Me.
They did a bloodline.
They did a fucking.
Oh my God, I couldn't imagine being related to that guy.
Would travel from Ireland each year,
bringing shamrock shakes to McDonaldland.
Uncle O'Gremacy was quietly phased out of
McDonald's marketing after a few years due
in part two in alleged incident.
In Philly.
In Philadelphia.
It always happens in Philly.
In 1978 where the person portraying him,
scroll up please, made statements in support of the IRA
and that British soldiers were better dead than alive.
Wow.
That is crazy.
So that's just some typical Irish
banter though. What do you expect out of a guy like him? If you're expecting anything other than
just patriotism, you're wrong. Yeah, if you're expecting anything. First of all, this guy's
obviously some lactose junk. I don't want to fucking put him on blast, but he obviously, uh, big on milk, big milk
guy to bring a bag of milk or a bunch of milk from Ireland.
Yeah.
You brought your foreign milk into our country.
Get that shit out of my face, dude.
Uh, yeah, that kind of blows me away.
Uncle O'Grimmacy.
Dang.
Yeah.
I can't believe you didn't know that.
Yeah, I didn't know that that happened.
And some of them were mint flavored too, which is insane.
I don't like that.
What is a shamrock shake?
What is the flavor?
That's a great question.
Yeah, I guess I just thought it was just green flavor.
You know, whatever that, not lime though.
Like how Kool-Aid is
just red flavored yeah yeah yeah the shake was lemon lime flavor with a
vanilla ice cream lemon lime sherbet and vanilla syrup by 1973 the shake was
merely a green color vanilla shake it is now mint flavored so I guess they still
have a version of the shake when you you were growing up, was Olive Garden like a treat?
Yeah.
I mean, we had a place, Larry's Ribs.
We had a place, was it called Garden Options, I think?
It was like this salad area or whatever.
Okay.
Like a... Health food. I think it was like this salad area or whatever. Okay. A salad, like a.
Health food.
Yeah, a place where you could somebody a julienne
to care it and people would drive from 20 miles
to see it or something.
Yeah.
Olive Garden was not, it was a prom kind of destination.
Yeah, how old were you when you went to Olive Garden
for the first time?
Oh God, I don't know, I guess whenever I really started
to get a palette for the world, probably.
For Italian cuisine.
Yeah.
17, I bet.
Okay.
Those Andy's mints.
Oh, they're good.
I thought, that's what made me think of it,
the Shamrock Shake being mint flavored.
I remember like,
cause we used to do Olive Garden like birthday,
or you know, like a really like special event
And I would always want to go and those Andes Mints
My mom would fill her purse with them and we would snack on those like she put them in my lunch the next day for
The next like week or two. It was like a real specialty looking back chocolate mint really not not good
Yeah, not great. I don't think but I thought they were pretty good. Yeah, not great, I don't think, but I thought they were pretty good.
Yeah, or were we just kids?
I still sometimes, if I'm leaving a place they got those,
at first I'm walking past them, like, nah, fuck them.
But then I get two steps away.
Make that loop around.
Yep.
Like, let me fucking.
Make that U-ie.
Let me boomerang a little.
Pull that U-ie.
And get me a little mitten going on.
You've toured in the UK, right?
Yeah, I have.
You ever tried those nasty,
actually you wanna talk about fucking nasty,
the orange chocolates they have over there?
Mm-mm.
It's like, I imagine if you were to scoop diarrhea
out of a toilet and eat it, that's kind of what.
It's awful.
Oh wow, offshore work, huh?
Offshore drilling, there you go. Oh, that's crazy.
What do the British do?
They're still very confused.
They need help.
Well, they only have a few flavors over there.
Well, they don't care about, they didn't care about food.
I don't think if you go to Britain,
it's not, and you go to Scotland, Ireland,
wherever else you can go over there,
you can't, the food isn't, nobody's like, hey, I'm going you go to Britain, it's not, and you go to Scotland, Ireland, wherever else you can go over there,
you can't, the food isn't, nobody's like,
hey, come here for, it's usually potatoes, beans, sausage.
Yeah, yeah, they eat like it's still,
there's Germans flying overhead.
You know what I mean?
It's very much a war meal.
It's a war meal. That's government rations. Yeah, yes? It's very much a war meal. It's a war meal.
That's government rations.
Yeah.
Yes, it's very much, yes, our, and I
don't want to say illegal immigrants,
but our semi, our new friends in America,
OK, are eating way better than this.
You know, they always talk about this online of like,
you know, the UK colonized everywhere, stole the
spices, stole the artifacts, whatever, and
you bitch, you seasoned shit with salt.
You couldn't figure it out beyond just
salt. Even then.
True. What, yeah, I wonder if some of
that's a ruse, because if you think if they had
done all that,
they would have
better music well I mean they had the Beatles
they got great music yeah they're Sinead O'Connor they've had the Pogues they've
had One Direction I was just about to say it if you weren't thank you yep and
they've had um Fred again Fred again. Is he British?
Yeah.
Hell yeah.
I believe he is. You're locked into DJ culture.
Skrillex.
Skrillex isn't British.
Okay.
I just wanted to say that.
Oh damn, you're right.
Oh, he's from Ball Ham.
Yeah, dude, come on.
Ball Ham.
Yeah, Fred again.
I saw him, I saw him perform a couple of weeks ago. You could put him in a police lineup in front of me
and I would not be able to identify him.
Well, I think that's why they named him that,
that's why his parents, even they were like, oh, it's this.
Again.
Yeah, we'll get it.
Yeah, that's bro.
Yeah.
Oh, he could, yeah, it's kind of nice he could probably blend,
but you know, especially now that his career's getting so Oh, he could, yeah, it's kind of nice. He could probably blend, but, you know,
especially now that his career is getting so big.
Oh yeah.
That he could just blend in.
Oh yeah.
What about you?
So you start out and you're in Texas.
Cause I just want my audience to know more about you.
Yeah, let's get into the lore.
Is it okay?
Yeah.
Some people don't like to talk about it.
Could you imagine if I was like, I'm not really,
that derails an interview too, right?
It's like, what are we doing? Yeah, sometimes
Well, I think it's interesting with podcasting. It's like sometimes I forget that my audience doesn't know people
and so I want to know more about
So I have to make sure I do a good job of
Introducing them you want to know my social security number. Let's get to it. Yeah, if you give me a little bit of it
Pull up the rest I'll learn the rest. Okay. Yeah. Ask away. Sexy line for somebody. I'll learn the rest. Hey, you give me, give me two digits of that phone number. I'll
learn the rest. I'll Google it. You give me your grandma's name. I'm finding your whole family on
Facebook. Don't worry about it. Oh my God. Um, yeah. So you started out in Texas. You went to A&M?
I went to A&M.
Yeah, I graduated with a Lib Arts degree.
Oh yeah?
You know it.
With a minor in Spanish.
Ooh, really?
I do, I speak Spanish.
Do you?
I do.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Thank you so much.
And what made you wanna learn Spanish?
Was it just because there were so many people
speaking Spanish in y'all state?
Yeah.
I mean, it's like you start taking Spanish classes as early as sixth grade in Texas.
So it's like you have the beautiful option of learning a second language for free, you
know, as a kid. And if you follow that all the way into a collegiate level, it's like
it's a life skill that you never lose. I mean, ideally, you know, you have to practice it,
of course, but like it's great. And I I feel like graduating it gives you a leg up on like I
Understand a different part of the world that a lot of Americans never do. Yeah, you know
They just really don't care to learn not only a second language, but about other cultures
So and Spanish obviously is like it's spoken worldwide, but so many different countries so many different cultures. It's not just one
Latino culture. Yeah, it's very beautiful. Yeah, I gotta learn more
I got a really bit of it in it in you. Yeah, my father's from Nicaragua
He speaks Spanish when we were children and he would call me names. I think I don't want to say we can beep it
I think he called me like FAG or whatever, but
But he was also very old.
Yeah.
So it wasn't like a young guy calling, you know,
it was just like an old, like I don't even know
if he knew what it was.
He said hard T.
He said the F slur with a hard T.
Yes.
I think he just thought I was some kid
in his house bothering him.
So it makes sense.
Neighborhood kid.
You gotta say something, yeah.
Yeah.
But, so that was pretty wild, I remember, but he would speak a lot of it to his friends It's like neighborhood kid. You gotta say something. Yeah but
So that was pretty wild
I remember like but he would speak a lot of it to his friends and he would have people over and they would like smoke
cigarettes and fucking play like
Domino's and just you know
And my mother then would just fucking make him sleep
in the living room at night.
That sounds really prosperous for you as a kid
to really grow in.
It was kind of romantic, I guess, in some ways.
Yeah.
Because you'd always go out there
and he would be out there in the living room.
And then when they got divorced,
my dad would wait by the window,
some guy would drop him off off from to come see us.
He's like 75 at this point, 78 maybe.
And he would, so he'd come and we'd go get some pizza.
And then he would sit by the window in a chair
and wait for his friend to come back and pick him up.
And his friend was always out on the town.
And so his friend.
Late, always late.
It was like four hours later,
my dad would just sit by the window. Yeah, my mom would turn the light off
Because we just save electricity money. So she just asked him if he was okay
Yes, and then she would shut it down. But anyway, but yeah, so tell us more about you. Sorry shut out your dad though
Yeah, he was he had the he had that a little bit of like
He liked to tell us stories from where he grew up and stuff like that. So there was some culture about
Not around but not a ton. Okay
That sucks. I feel like you could have really connected in a different life
my dad is a, he was in the Air Force.
Oh, he was?
Yeah, and he's retired now.
But he flew A-10s for a while and watched Top Gun
and like really was like, that's it.
And said I'm going in. That'll do it.
Yeah.
God, so many men that happened to, huh?
Yeah, I think for a lot of men,
and correct me if I'm wrong,
Tom Cruise is kind of like y'all's Taylor Swift.
I think he was, and then he got so rich and weird
Are allegedly the Scientology kind of of it all yeah
Yeah
What did you get so like known that then the media shapes whatever they want people to think you are you don't have any real?
Sure, who are you gonna tell like yeah?
I think Tom Cruise for a lot of specifically Tom Cruise Top Gun, for a lot of men it was like,
that's the coolest thing I've ever, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Like really changed a lot of people's lives.
So my dad was in the Air Force.
He does like contract work for the government now, but he really loved it.
We moved around a lot as when I was a kid, and I lived in South Korea for a bit.
Nuh-uh.
I did. Really? And then we moved back to the States.
I've lived all over the Southeastern United States,
anywhere from like Arizona, Texas, Alabama,
all the way up to Virginia.
And then, yeah, I ended up at A&M and I loved it.
I loved A&M.
I really did.
Yeah, it was great.
Wow.
So living in South Korea,
do you even remember living in South Korea?
Mm-hmm. I was in sixth grade.
I was crazy. I remember, I was like old enough to remember.
And I moved back to the States after, we were there for a year.
And it was just like some redneck middle school in Wichita Falls, Texas.
No, no, no, when we moved back to Texas.
Oh, I thought it was like, red, Korean red.
I was like, how would that even be like?
She's Bobby Lee
No, I'm dying
the correct thing
Yeah, yeah
Red and over an Asian redneck sound like I wonder I don't know what they sound like
But I imagine it's just like eating chicken and dumplings with some Those cool like ramen spoons. Yeah, I mean, that's probably that's it. We were there for a year though, and I remember
We lived in Seoul like in the capital and the smells were crazy
I had never in my life like first of all been outside the US, you know
so that was kind of culture shock at first too, but like
It's a whole different, when you walk down a market,
the fresh fish market and the spices,
and it's just a different, it was crazy as a kid.
It was kind of scary,
but then you live there for a year
and it's like, I might be Korean.
Yeah, you get in, you start doing some of the cultural stuff.
You start like...
We would bow to each other as we would,
because it's a cultural thing, it was crazy it was crazy it was it was a lot of
looking back like crazy experiences at 11 year old 12 year old yeah oh I bow
anytime I walk in on like any Chinese restaurant or anything I bow right out
the gate they're like you don't have to do that triple bow fucking see a bitch
in the distance and fucking crack her off one day. With curtsy?
If I'm flexing, yeah.
I'll fucking, I'll fucking.
This poor man, he's got some condition.
Why he ticks like that?
All we can do is pray for him.
Yep.
You know that's one of my favorite clips on TikTok?
Really?
All we can do is pray for him.
How about the people at Vineyard Vines?
Is that what your clip was about? Yeah.
Oh, I didn't know the full, what's the context of that clip?
Yeah, somebody was selling the illegal Ozempic at Vineyard Vines in Charlotte.
That's right. I have seen it. That's right.
And I was worried that it was going to come into some of the communities I live in and I was like...
Right.
Yeah, somebody had called in about it and I was like, this shit is just...
You gotta, we gotta just, all we can do is pray for it's in his hands. That's it man
Well fake Oz and back. I was talking to a girl out in LA and she
Every time I saw her there was less and less of her. She was literally
Disappearing withering away. I'm not even joking. Good for her. Yeah
Yeah, but yeah, but it just like and can still work. Good for her, yeah.
But yeah, but it just like,
and then though, here's the kicker though.
One day she's like,
oh, I'm gonna be out of town for a few days.
I was like, oh, what's going on?
She's like, I'm driving down to Mexico to get some ozempi.
Some zemi.
Yeah. Yeah.
Some zem.
Some ozempica, she called it.
Ozempica, that is, yep, you got it.
I'm like, well, we can't, what are we,
if we're taking Mexican ozempica.
Look.
What can you say?
No, I'm glad that,
I'm glad we are still getting
drugs from Mexico instead of
just China or wherever we're getting from now.
You're like, look, I'm not complaining.
She's just weathering away. She seemed like an addict, that now. I'm not complaining. Yeah, she's just weathering away, but it was just she seemed like an addict
That's what I'm saying. Oh
Yeah, that's what this whole thing is about right right right right?
Yeah, she seemed like an addict. You know anything about
Adam create them. Yeah, create them scary. Yeah, have you why do you talk to men that are using it?
I've got young gentlemen that are off the crate. No, I've got um
Some friends who have accidentally been like you tried to shit. I'm like, that's an opioid. I'm pretty sure right?
It's like a synthetic opioid and they just sell it. Oh, yeah, it's crazy. You can get it at the gas station
It's crazy. Oh my nephew totaled so many of his vehicles on that. That's bad. Very alarming
What is creating a tropical tree native to Southeast Asia?
That sounds, first of all, fictional.
Willy Wonka.
Yeah, they could write anything.
Consumption of its leaves produces both a stimulant effect
and sedative effects.
Whoa.
And can lead to psychotic symptoms
and psychological and physiological dependence.
What is the point?
I'm not sure.
Is it a treatment for something?
I know Brendan Schaub was taking it for a while.
He's a podcaster and comedian.
I know Bobby Lee, I guess, manufactures it.
I mean, I have no idea if it's his people doing it
or who brought it over.
Can we get a video of someone on it?
I'm just curious to see the effects.
I've never really sat around with someone
dealing with a flare-up.
Yeah, me either, me either.
What you should know, okay.
Oh, it's awful.
It's like a drink, it's like a smoothie.
Don't miss shot.
That's what they sell.
Yeah, let me see someone under the effects of kratom.
I always wonder, whoever you got Googling back here, He sell. Yeah, let me see someone under the effects of Kratom.
I always wonder, whoever you got Googling back here, are they just like, every day I wanna quit?
Oh, I think they're just doing that.
They don't fucking know.
Every day. If they had an idea,
they would already have brought something up.
Right.
Oh, that guy's on Kratom withdrawal.
First ever death by Kratom.
Oh no.
It's like crack a little bit.
Mm.
Yeah, but just love to see someone under the influence.
Yeah, that's crazy.
I've always wondered, what were we talking about before that?
Age, your Korean experience.
Dude, I remember the first Asian we ever had,
or there was a,
somebody said there was one, right? So people were like,
what in the fuck are you talking about?
Liar.
Yeah, people were fucking beating each other
and drinking Dr. Peppers and just fucking furious about it.
And so me and two of my buddies,
we got a taxi cab to go see where this alleged Asian guy was,
because it was in Slidell, Louisiana. got a taxi cab to go see where this alleged Asian guy was.
You know, because it was in Slidell, Louisiana. It was like 17 miles and like,
you can't just tell your mom I wanna go see an Asian
and they're gonna bring you.
You know, it wasn't that kind of time.
And so next thing you know, we get a taxi over there.
It was a Pizza Hut.
Remember Pizza Hut?
Bring up those unique rooftops.
Yeah, the combo, the combo. No, remember the Pizza Hut up those unique rooftops. The combo.
No, remember the Pizza Hut had those unique rooftops?
The like brick.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, a Pizza Hut had burned down
and that roof was snug on the ground
and somebody had just said that Asian people
were living in that.
And that was like the rumor that took over the area.
Do you remember, what's the pizza place
that's combined with another one?
It was $17 to get over there.
What's the one that combined?
Oh, I think that's...
You know how they'll have like Baskin-Robbins and Dunkin?
Yeah.
Like the combo double whammy.
They had a pizza.
Pizza talk about, yeah!
Mm.
Bring this back.
Yeah, you like that that I think there's
something so I just a patriotic tear comes down my cheek when I see that look
at this fucking arterial gangbang over here for people dude this self change
the pH balance in your that way it will It will, it will. It seems really.
It's very yeasty.
You show up here kind of yeasty.
It seems very intense.
Yeast infection.
Oh my God.
It's that and then an urgent care.
You know how CVS and Walgreens are usually
on different corners?
Is this an urgent care?
Spade and Farley, Key and Peele,
Faye and Poehler, Burrow and Chase.
There's a lot of famous duos out there
that get the job done.
What about the perfect duo
when it comes to growing your business?
Shopify is the global commerce platform
that helps you sell at every stage of your business.
From the launch year online shop stage to the first real life store stage, all the way to the did we just hit a million orders stage. Shopify is there to help you grow. Whether you're selling
scented soap or offering outdoor outfits, Shopify helps you sell everywhere. Sign up for a $1 per month
trial period at Shopify.com slash Theo, all lowercase. That's right. Go to Shopify, S-H-O-P-I-F-Y
dot com slash Theo. Now to grow your business, no matter what stage you're in, Shopify.com slash Theo.
You know, one in five Americans have learned a new language on their bucket list.
I'm one of them.
If that's you like me, make 2024 the year you finally check it off the list with Babel.
Babel's quick 10 minute lessons are handcrafted by over 200 language experts to help you start speaking a new language in as
little as three weeks.
Don't pay hundreds of dollars for private tutors
or waste hours on apps that don't really help you speak the language.
Babel's convenient courses are easily consumable.
I've taken some and I'm just amazed at how quickly you feel like you're capable and willing
to speak in real life situations.
Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now.
Get 55% off your Babel subscription, but only for our listeners at Babel.com slash Theo.
That's B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash Theo.
That's right.
Get 55% off.
Wow.
At Babel.com slash Theo spelled B-A-B-B-E-L.com slash T-H-E-O.
Rules and restrictions may apply.
Oh, I didn't know they were doing all this.
I get nervous when I see some of this kind of stuff.
Well, you can't handle it.
Well, if you see like a Long John Silver's and a,
like, do they really get along, the Colonel and the Fisher?
Like, you just wonder if the mascots give, you know,
are they
Yeah Who's the Long John Silver's mascot? Is it a fish or is it John?
I think it's um
Oh, it's a pirate. No, I think it's uh mercury poisoning
To be honest, I believe my friend Billy
And rip is not dead, but he ain't doing well. Okay, okay. He's off the mercury.
He's got some flare-ups still, but he's gonna be fine. Love you, dog.
Shut up.
He's a sweet guy.
Yeah, Long John Silver's, I could not tell you a single person in my life that I have
ever known that has eaten at a Long John Silver's.
Really?
And they used to be with A&W, remember that?
That's what it was.
And that was, people were,
people were shook when that happened.
Yeah, Long John's Zervers and A&W combined,
like, but then what happens?
The kitchen combines, like what happens inside?
It's the same hormonal 17 year old slinging fish
and root beer floats.
Oh, oh, see that's the thing.
I don't want.
That was a bodily reaction.
I don't want fish near my ice cream.
Near your milk?
Yeah.
You want fishy milk?
Come on, what's wrong with fishy milk?
You're right, I guess it's from, I guess, yeah.
I should, I'll have a little.
Just a bite.
Do you ever used to do the,
if you don't like it, spit it out in my hand?
Your mom ever used to do that?
No, dude, my mom never saw us.
My mom would drive by and yell for us to brush our teeth
out of the car window.
Okay, well I had that.
Okay, what happened to me? Yeah, well I'm having this weird
day where I'm just saying I'm just making it about me. Thank you for coming in. Of
course. And yeah, what does it feel like? Because you didn't start out in comedy,
you started out like entertain like as an entertainment like what was your first way of entertaining people arguably my parents divorce was I have
got to be the center of attention that'll do it really you think that did it yeah for sure
wow that's so interesting yeah I need people to look at me yeah I always I
like to make people laugh from a young age but that's every fucking funny
person is like I always just had a knack shut the fuck up
Yeah, but it also is like why like I like it's interesting. Yeah, why do you ever really think about it and think about why?
Yeah, I think it's it's just a
Innate joy, you know to have everybody look at you and be laughing with you like that
Like you were able to create that response in a room.
You know, it's a real pat on the back feeling,
but it's also like, it's insatiable.
Once you start, you can't stop.
That's a good point.
There's some addictive tendency to it.
I never thought about that.
Yeah, it's a high.
Yeah, because then you see like it's an effect.
It's almost like a wizardry, I think, when you're,
I'm just thinking as a kid.
Yeah, it's Kratom.
We got our own brand of Kratom.
Yeah, it's that, I think, for me as a kid,
and I was a theater kid as well.
Oh yeah.
That did it.
And then in college, I don't know, I did improv in college,
but it was like, improv at Texas A&M, what are we doing?
It was like...
Well, that's y'all's whole cheerleading team,
it seems like.
That whole thing.
You mean the yell leaders? I was like, is this little Abner? I was like well that's y'all's whole cheerleading team it seems like That whole thing. I was like just a little Abner
What? I don't even know what's going on
Yeah, the y'all leaders are gonna be a point of confusion for a lot of people
That's what it you know what it's a point of confusion if you don't know about it
Yeah, there were links going around like last year two years ago something had happened
I thought there was a big video that went around.
From A&M?
A&M. And it was making, and that was the first time you saw that there was a male...
Like, they're not cheerleaders, they're yell leaders.
Yell leaders. That's what it was. And people didn't know what's going on.
Yeah, it's a lot. Because what would you think about it? And this this is it's a weird thing for me as a woman and I respect a name man
My god cousin or somebody went there James somebody he's doing pretty well divorcee, but he's good
He went there. He's there now. He's he's already gone. Okay. Yeah, he's yeah
It's a way because the history of a name which I don't know if you it was a military school for the longest time
it's Texas
Agricultural and Mechanical College. Yeah. And
So women weren't allowed in until like the 60s, 70s. I'm not joking. And
minorities were not allowed in until the 60s, 70s as well, which is fucking late to let in. Women then minorities?
Yeah. Let me think if that's how I would do it. No, I might be lying. I think it was it was
Minority men and then they let in women in the late 60s early 70s regardless It's fucking embarrassing but the culture at A&M now I would argue is very progressive
I wouldn't have gone there if it wasn't but it's weird because they still have some of those like hyper
Masculine traditions like the yell leaders.
We're not going to have cheerleaders.
You know, we have.
Yeah.
And there's five of them.
Oh, there's only five.
Five.
Yeah.
There's two juniors, three seniors.
Oh my God.
And they.
So there's five men each year who and do they have the they must have trials.
Oh yeah. It's's serious and they show up
It's a political race you run for yell leader. No, and they get voted in. Yep. Yep. Yep. Oh my gosh
I didn't know this shit. It's crazy and
There's so many I mean like after a game you throw them in the pond and all this they're in all white
It's real slutty if you think about it
Oh, they throw these men in they throw them in in the pond and all white wet t-shirt contest all men
Okay, so and we don't do cheers we do yells. Okay, and for different plays during a football game
We do different yells accordingly and at so, you know, it's really involved
It is because the the crowd you don't sit for an a& am football game, which I think is kind of common in SEC
I want to go I would we should go to an am game. I'd love to take you. It's so much fun
I would love to go I um, I love that they're in the SEC now. Yeah, I think that's really fascinating and
Yeah, I'm trying to think of what else I know about him I never been to where the school is up there in college station
I've wanted to go but I just haven't gotten to go. Well, it's the only thing there. I mean there's not
Yeah, I would like to go what else does it say about the yell team? Is there anything else? It's just such an interesting thing
About the leaders about the the group when did it start?
Yeah, do you yell leader history? There you go. Yeah
The tradition of yell leaders began during a football game in the early 1900s.
The Aggies were losing badly
and the audience was growing bored.
Shit.
Wow.
The upperclassmen ordered the freshmen
to find a way to entertain their guests,
many of whom had been invited by Texas Women's University.
Wow.
It was separate.
But women had a part in it.
In the crowd.
We need to entertain these ladies.
We need to entertain the women.
And hey, women still want to be entertained.
It's true.
The tradition of Yale leaders, the freshmen
found white coveralls and began leading the crowd in Yelts.
They had so much fun and received so much attention
from their audience that it was decided
that only upper class would be allowed to participate
in leading Yelts in the future.
Wow, so they made the younger people do it,
saw that it was awesome, and then like, you can't do it.
Yeah, yeah.
Actually, nevermind, give it back.
It was very bad.
So there's a, when they're going for,
you gotta help me out,
when they're going for a field goal or for a,
what's the conversion called?
Two point conversion.
Two point conversion.
When they're doing that, the yell leaders will squat
on one knee under the field goalpost and it's called
squeeze em eggs and they'll squeeze their nuts oh yeah it's just like
they're bracing for them to make the it's just it's so gay I love it yeah oh
look at that's true that's fucking eggs squeeze an egg baby and we see that
every time we passed by this town
because my dad was always like,
do not ever knock anybody up in that town.
And he would make us, even when we were kids,
he got that in us.
That chastity belt, yeah.
Just hold your nuts when you drive through there.
Protect the goods.
Yeah, you do not wanna.
Yeah, you know what else I wanna talk to you about?
Knock anything up around there.
I need Caleb Presley biblically and that's your best friend. Mm-hmm. Just texted with him today
Special guy. I have a I have a crush on him. That's like really it's bad
Because he's another SEC boy, right?
He went to
Yeah He went to North Carolina. You're kidding!
Why is he, he's like a volunteer's fan.
But he is a volunteer's fan.
He says he played at North Carolina, he didn't.
But he's a liar and a cheat.
True but he's handsome.
It is true.
And he is extremely unique.
You guys are similar I think.
You guys have had a really nice time.
We do kind of look alike.
You think?
We look a little related. Oh I think maybe it's true. You guys both have blue eyes.. You guys have had a really nice time. We do kinda look alike. You think? We look a little related.
Oh, I think maybe.
You guys both have blue eyes.
Yeah.
You have blonde hair.
Yeah.
I have the same facial hair as him.
Oh, damn well.
I'm just kidding.
No, look, I think it's just, yeah.
Yeah, I, because he's been on your pod a lot of times.
Yeah.
And I've seen all your stuff.
I mean, you went hunting with him and stuff like that?
Yeah, yeah.
We went turkey hunting together.
Yeah.
And it was interesting because yeah,
I'd never been hunting and then,
I don't think he'd been hunting,
but some people were eating,
there were some children out there eating mushrooms
and they were making everybody nervous.
But yeah, we had a great time.
He shot a turkey.
I didn't.
That's sad.
Yeah. Yeah, the turkeys were, some of them, yeah.
Some of them looked like they had been,
I don't want to say using.
But some of them were not doing that good.
Mercury.
Yeah.
They're off the Merc.
Um, yeah, yeah, they were off the Merc.
Off the Merc. It was like...
Uh, but, um, yeah, when you were singing on that show, it was like...
It's so magical. You can sing really good.
Thank you so much! It's the theater kid. I can't...
What was, like, your first play that you did?
You Monty Python fan?
Um, yes, John Cleese.
I did Spam a Lot.
That was the first one where I was like,
this is a lot of fun.
Yep. Damn, you had that locked and loaded.
Did they?
Monty Python, Spam a Lot.
And guess what?
They had me cross-dress.
They did?
I didn't play a woman a single time in the whole production.
No.
They had me in a beard.
What?
Yep.
And did you feel?
Did your parents write a note or anything like?
That I guess it yeah, yeah, you just play what you get, but it's weird
It's interesting to have a woman just play the man as it like in a high school
It's something to be said about the director looked at me and was like get her in a beard
Let's see her in a beard.
And it worked, I did it.
But I think it's a compliment to me,
if you think about it, that there was no one manly enough
to do it the job except for me.
You could pull it off.
I could pull it off.
Wow. Yeah.
That's fun, was it a good time?
Oh, it's so much fun.
Cause that, I mean, any Monty Python,
I mean, it's so not PC today, could not do it today.
But it was, they edited it down
for a high school production to do, you know,
so it was, it's funny. We did high school production to do you know so it was right
It's funny. We did um, Adam's family as well. Oh you did. Yeah
What's a song like what's one of the songs from spam a lot?
I could not tell you if you held a gun to my head really forgot it all
Damn, yeah, I
Remember um, I was in I was a theater kid too. What'd you do? I did doesn't shock me. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, I think I well I didn't like to ride the bus home a lot of times because it was like
The poor kid bus or whatever so I wanted to stay at school to do stuff. I would be like I'm staying
I'm involved in something. I'm in the fucking
where extracur curricular yes, and uh yeah, I got in key club. Yeah, no I got in yet theater and we did
Sherlock Holmes oh fun. It was fun, and I was doing uh I
Was Watkins right and so I come out Watson
Watson It was kind of those it was heavily urban I was Watkins, right? And so I come out. Watson? Watson.
It was kind of, it was a heavily urban.
We had a lot of black characters, so I was Watkins.
But I come out, right?
And I, for some reason, I just did a Mexican accent
for my character.
And it wasn't any of the ways we'd ever rehearsed it.
And so everybody is like, what the fuck, dude?
Now, Watkins is fucking Mexican.
Creative liberties were taken.
Yeah, and it was really kind of selfish looking back
because everybody was just kind of shook
and they didn't know what to do.
But I kept being like, what's up, homes?
Like I did it all just for that joke.
And I bet it killed.
Hey, homes. It killed for a joke. And I bet it killed. Eos!
It killed for a little bit, but then it was like...
You hadn't learned like the rule of threes yet and all that.
I didn't have any plan.
No.
And it got old fast and...
Then you couldn't not be Mexican, so for the next hour and 10 minutes or whatever, you were Mexican.
You made your bed, you gotta lie in it.
Miss Porcio was so furious.
Man.
I say a silent prayer for theater directors every night. You made your bed you got a lie in it. Miss Porcio was so furious. Man, I
Say a silent prayer for theater directors every night, you know high school theater directors are kind of like God warriors
They're soldiers. Yeah, I don't want to say that they are very similar to
Who was that? Sergeant that helped during Katrina, that guy everybody loved? Joel Osteen.
Let's pull up a picture, Joel Osteen.
Didn't he not open the church up?
Yep.
The Lord's not working during this storm.
No, who was? No, it's not really Joel Osteen.
It is Petraeus., uh, Petraeus.
It was General Petraeus.
Anyway, that joke took too long and
That's all right.
My brain should have been better at it.
Yeah, were we talking about Britney?
We were talking about
Oh, you were a theater kid.
Yeah, I was a theater kid.
Yeah.
Yeah, so it's always been,
but I didn't go to school to be like,
I don't wanna be a comedian.
It was never on my roster.
I mean, my friends in high school were like,
you should audition for SNL.
Oh, so people said that to you.
So people, see, we were entertaining, you liked it, yeah.
I liked it, but it's also like, first of all,
not how that works.
You don't just audition for SNL.
Yeah, people don't understand at home.
No.
They're like, now what you doing, man?
You gonna get you over there, do you a little something?
You know, Saturday night.
Yeah, what's Gwyneth Paltrow doing? People text me that on fucking Friday, bitch
Don't know could not tell you yeah, that was always like a you need to be on SNL. Mmm. It's also
I don't know. It's a very interesting conversation because I feel like
With what you do and with what I do
It's an interesting conversation because I feel like with what you do and with what I do,
there is a path to success in comedy that's not,
you don't have to do SNL anymore, you know?
Like it's-
No, and it could derail you.
Arguably, yeah.
Like would you be able to tell some of your stories
and antics and have some of your same energy that you,
would you know each week that even something
you wrote was gonna get on there it's a nice yeah and it's yeah I think you're
totally right yeah and to be able to connect with an audience you know as
like on a very personal level you can't do that when you're always playing a
character and also on top of playing characters having to fight for your spot
every week why would you know it's like that it can't be the only way to make it in comedy as a young person.
Yeah.
So I feel very fortunate that, you know, I graduated college, started working a job.
I used to be an insurance agent.
Oh, you did?
And then I worked at a bank and then-
Oh, I love going to the, I used to, I used to, I used to love going to the bank.
It's a great experience. Wasn't it so much fun much fun be like can you make change for this hundred? Yeah
Maybe like and you'd sign in and you knew somebody that worked at the bank
And so you'd be like it is putting my work check in
Yeah, remember those pins that were attached to the the desk
Bring those back and every time one would be missing like oh what happened here a crime
Okay, do we get that on camera?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You wanna know something?
I figured out from working at a bank
and the doorway of every bank.
So like if you're the teller
and you're looking at the door,
there are lines that go up the vertical of the door
so that you can identify if someone robs or whatever,
how tall they were.
No.
It really is like a, yeah.
Holy smokes.
Isn't that crazy?
It's how you identify, so you can get like a,
what's that called?
Suspect description.
Oh, suspect description.
They just had three children rob the bank.
Oh, good for them.
Good for them.
Yeah, Houston's Little Rascals.
You're joking.
Three Texas juveniles dubbed the Little Rascals, age 11, 12, and 16, accused of bank robbery.
The boys allegedly walked into a bank and showed a threatening letter to the teller
before fleeing on foot with an undisclosed amount of cash.
Wow.
It sounds like they're bank robbers.
The FBI has arrested three minors
in connection with a bank robbery in Houston.
And they have been dubbed the little rascals.
Love it.
You know the 16 year old is like the ringleader
and the other two were like, yeah, boys.
Yeah, we'll do it.
Yeah, we got to work.
Yeah, boys.
Yeah, when we doing it, huh?
And they're like, oh, we doing it next week.
But then the day came and like, oh, I thought we was just getting some candy. Yeah, boy. I don't know about all of this
Yeah, oh
We'll the little but here's what it's happened now. It's like you do a crime
You get somebody to write an article and now you were a now they're going on tour. They are
They're in the Billboard top 100 And now you were a, now they're going on tour. They are, they're gonna fucking.
They're in the billboard top 100 right now. They'll have a song out in two months.
Featuring Fred again.
Yeah, yeah, the little rascals.
Good for them.
Yeah, and that's so interesting to write a letter.
What would you put on a letter?
Oh, I remember dude, one time I was trying to write a letter. What would you put on a letter? Oh, I remember, dude, one time,
I was trying to flirt with a girl at the bank.
And so I wrote this note.
That said what?
It was like, hey, great to see you today at the bank.
I've seen you before.
At the bank.
Would love to connect sometime, right?
Okay.
So I'm walking over and I slide it into the dish
and you can see immediately like,
people are like, this is a robbery.
Yeah.
You know, tactic.
Yeah.
And one of the managers came and got it and,
yeah, she couldn't go to that branch anymore
Banned from the facility. It's just shamed man. Oh, you mean like you personally couldn't you wouldn't go there anymore?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, sorry. I wouldn't go anymore. Yeah, I thought you mean they they went ahead walked you out of that building
No, they I knew
The second I'm sliding under, I realized,
oh, I see what's going on here.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Right, they think I'm a robber
and it's just very scary to them.
Yeah, that's the plight of being a man, huh?
All you want is just some love
and they're like, get him.
Yeah.
Yeah, feel sorry for you guys.
I wonder if it is.
Is it the plight? You guys have it so rough.
This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.
If you struggled mentally or emotionally, struggling just adapting or figuring something
out, if you're going through something in your life, it could be work.
It could be just your stress.
You know, I struggle a lot of times with feeling inferior or feeling like I'm not doing enough.
And I go to therapy, better help.
They can help you.
If you're thinking of starting therapy, give better help a try.
It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule.
Just fill out a brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist.
Switch therapists at any time for no additional charge.
I have benefited from therapy and I have experienced BetterHelp.
Become your own soulmate whether you're looking for one or not.
Visit betterhelp.com slash Theo today to get 10% off your first month.
That's BetterH-E-L-P, better help.com slash Theo who is there was an
article I saw some lady just had there was a lady who said she was too pretty
can you look that up mmm you see this she's too pretty so she was gonna shave
her head there you go Isa Gonzalez claims she missed out on the movie roles because she's too pretty.
Oh, God bless her.
And thought about shaving her head to make herself less attractive.
I remember being told for so many projects, she's too pretty for the role.
She's too hot for the role. Then I just be like, what is Margot Robbie?
She's the hottest beautiful woman ever I've seen in my life.
Even though she doesn't believe any of this is really about her.
I had an identity crisis for so long time, she says.
I was like, do I shave my head?
You're like changing the grammar to make it more racist.
Do I? What did she offer to do?
Change her grammar?
I said, you're changing the grammar to make it more racist.
Oh am I? I don't think it's racist, the lady- It's a perfectly like beautiful English sentence
and you're like skipping words because she's Latina. Oh no, I'm trying to make it so it
makes sense to people. Right. Do I make- because I feel like if you just say it like a white
person, do I make myself less attractive? But if I'm like, do I make because I feel like if you just say it like a white person do I make myself less attractive?
but if I'm like do I may it gives it like the I
Can see right you're painting a picture. I can see it coming from her do I make myself less attractive?
There you go, okay
That's wild though, huh that is a problem. I never
Have had to think about yeah, I'll be totally for real with you.
She is beautiful.
I know, she looks very nice.
Did you, yeah, did you have thoughts like that growing up?
I remember like-
That I'm too pretty?
No.
I had thoughts like I was, yeah, just always
was like worried about how I look or just felt.
Anything that I could feel bad about,
I would find a way to feel bad about it
Oh, yeah, you know yeah
Thing when you I mean now that like fame you ever look for it online you seek it out
Seek out like hate or people talking about you in a negative way sometimes you see stuff and sometimes it's so accurate
It's fucking makes you laugh or it's like yeah, that's real damn sometimes. You're like ah
But I have like what do I have I have like hair annoy a lot of times
You know like I'm well I get paranoid about my hair a lot of times
My body sometimes like this the way my body was shaped. I think you're beautiful the way you are thanks
Just trying to think of things that people think I guess everybody has like things huh yeah
I was always told I looked like the yellow M&M
Which one was she?
It's a he.
It is a man? Oh well.
Put him in Spamalot, that's all I'm telling ya.
He would kill in Spamalot.
Cast that guy. Oh wow, I think he has nice legs.
Thank you so much!
I see that. I think that is the ideal body type
It's where we're all headed I feel like circular
Yeah, I got the LLM and M a lot and I got a
Mr. Incredible Katy Perry I see some I get a Dell sometimes that's when people are feeling nice. I see that when they're trying to like
Get me I'm like
Yeah, yellow. I'm pretty funny. I can't argue. Oh, yeah. Nice. Yeah, if something's funny
It's great. You have to if you think thing if you like to be funny and something is funny you give you it wins
Yeah, whoever's commented that on my shit you won. It it wins. Yeah. Whoever's commented that on my shit, you won. It always wins.
Yeah.
You look like Morgan Wallen too.
I used to, I look like,
I look like Morgan Wallows in mud, I feel like.
I used to have this joke, I would say,
I look like somebody that looks like
they might have matches on them.
And I always thought that that was a fair description.
Yeah, that's so specific.
You look like Morgan Waluigi.
I don't even know who that is, that makes me laugh.
Look up Mario and Waluigi.
Oh yeah.
He's like the evil one.
Oh yeah.
He's the evil version of Luigi.
Oh okay.
You're the evil version of Morgan Wallens.
Oh okay, I'll take it. Unless Morgan Wallens is also evil. of Luigi. Oh, okay. You're the evil version of Morgan Wallen. Oh, okay. I'll take it
Unless Morgan Wallen's also evil. I don't I think he's probably not
Yeah, we had I'm trying to think of
Any other draw like when I was a kid? Oh, we did the vampire
Thing one time Dracula we had to do a play was fun
And it was always in theater class
You were always around some of the kids who were probably gay or closeted to
So it was just interesting, you know, cuz you always like but you knew those you got like kind of close with those guys
Some of the funniest people you'll ever meet. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but at that time it wasn't like like when I was in high school
It wasn't people wouldn't really say if they were gay
But at that time it wasn't like like when I was in high school It wasn't people wouldn't really say if they were gay
So I think back then you would kind of you got to be around like some of the kids
Or just kids that were like maybe questioned or something
But theater was always like kind of like a hodgepodge group, you know
I was always it was always kind of the miss fit like
Absolutely. Was it the Misfits? Yeah, and it was the kids who got kicked out of band
You know how fucking weird you have to be to be kicked out of band?
Man, the freak weirdos.
Yeah, that was my theater group in high school was like some of the weirdest fucking people
I've ever met to this day.
Like as a child, I remember being like, you're weird.
As an adult, I'm like, God.
And it's sad too, because it's like,
what did you end up doing with your life?
Usually not much, you know.
Those kids, you mean?
Yeah.
I don't know.
It was also we had guys that low-key could sing,
but didn't want to admit.
We're like afraid to sing in front of other guys.
So it was always that crazy night at school where you you were like we have a chorus like our choir or whatever
Like you had no clue you had a choir or chorus and then it was like one one week at school when you were a junior
suddenly like the chorus is gonna perform and
Everybody was dressed like they worked at a Chinese restaurant and they would come out and fucking sing. You're like, Ricky Singh.
And it's beautiful.
It's fucking beautiful.
And then you would see him the next day and he would act like he had never done it, dude.
That's the thing.
You got to act like he's not a star.
Yes.
Yes.
Like you didn't have American Idol at school.
That's a great point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They had like, yeah, I remember this one kid named, I don't even know what his name,
I don't even know if he had a fucking name. It was like caramel or something and he
sang jewel
Like the singer jewel yes, and people didn't know what to do and the curtain closed in the world had changed people like
fucking caramel
Same and yeah, it never was the same.
And yeah, you saw him and you were like, God, that guy, I didn't know.
Yeah, and you never would have known.
Yeah.
That's the beauty. I think...
That is cool. That's the talent show time of year.
Yes.
When that happened.
Did you ever do the talent show?
Yeah, I MC'd it one time.
You DJ'd?
Yeah, so we...
Oh, no, you like hosted it.
Yeah, just like the, yeah.
Okay.
Hosted it with this funny girl at school named Rebecca.
Did you do standup?
No, I did it once I got out of like 24,
I think I started doing it.
Okay.
And it was, yeah.
I mean, standups, yeah, it's been great.
I don't know if I would have found another avenue
to be entertaining, I don't know.
Once I saw standup, I was like, oh, I couldn't believe it I would have found another avenue to be entertaining, I don't know. Once I saw a standup, I was like,
oh, I couldn't believe it was a real job.
Period, yeah.
You're like, I remember in college, we won tickets.
They would always call you every day and like,
you won tickets.
To what?
Every day, that's right.
And usually we would just hang up
or somebody would call them a name and then hang up.
And then one day we're like, we'll go.
And it was to a comedy show.
I don't remember when we got there.
And we knew what it was gonna be.
But sometimes until you see something,
you don't really know what it is.
Like the Blue Man Group.
Yeah.
You don't really know what it is till you see it.
Yeah, did you go?
I love the Blue Man Group.
Oh, is it good?
Yeah. You've never been? We'll go there after we go to an A&M the flaming group. Oh, is it good?
You've never been? We'll go there after we go to an A&M game.
Sorry, continue.
No, no, no.
Hell yeah!
Could you pull up a video for Theo?
Yeah, you know what? I have no concept of what this is.
It's kind of like Shenyon or whatever.
I was going to say Shenyon.
Were you going to say?
I was going to say Shenyang. Every...
Oh, definitely, huh?
This is the fucking...
This could literally also be
a political national convention.
I'll just say that.
Like, I would not be surprised.
This one I imagine they were doing at Jonestown.
Like, in Jonestown.
I don't know what was going on, but...
Fast forward where they get to the base. I don't know. Like, I would not be surprised. This one I imagine they were doing at Jonestown. Like, in Jonestown.
I don't know what was going on, but...
Fast forward, where they get to the paint.
They'll put neon paint...
This is Rufus de Sol.
They put paint on themselves?
They'll put paint on the instruments.
And then they turn a black light on and they'll play the drums and it goes everywhere.
I had no idea they even did music. I thought that they ran around and kind of hid from each other.
Okay.
Like I literally that's what I thought Blue Man Group did. This is crazy. If you would take in this style, I would be like, no way. This is Blue Man Group. Wow. Yeah, I saw it in Vegas with my fit.
Think about this.
I took a family trip to Vegas with my family
at the ripe age of 15.
And we saw the-
What is that?
What is that trip like for a girl?
Because a lot of girls go on this trip
with their family to Vegas at that cuspy age of like-
Yeah.
Like I'm reading One Direction fan fiction,
but also like I'm afraid of men
Yeah, uh it was terrifying, but it was it was a lot of fun, and I thought the Bellagio was the nicest place on earth
Mm-hmm cuz it is I like it
Where do you stay when you go to Vegas? Oh God I stay
Last time I went I stayed at the Wynn. Wynn's nice. Because
that's where I think I had a show at and I really liked it. My friend Jasmine
works over there. Okay cool you had a little hookup. So a couple friends that
worked there. I just, the people that I see and I see them repeatedly and I feel
more at home. Okay period. Yeah I like the Bellagio, it makes people feel like I'm in Italy.
Yeah. That's for people who have never been out of the country.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, I remember the first time
that we went to Rainforest Cafe.
Oh, that's a great example.
I used to take my girl there all the time.
It's a nice facility.
Facility.
Well, I kept promising when I was gonna take her to like,
we're gonna do like a Caribbean cruise and skin fucking.
It's just Rainforest Cafe.
I would, I mean, yeah, I would hope like subliminally
it would help our relationship, I guess.
Or like she would remember like, oh yeah,
we're gonna do that one day, you know?
And?
We didn't.
Never did.
There's nothing more romantic than going to a place
where children are running around at your feet, you know?
Screaming kids, throwing poop like monkeys.
Yeah.
What?
What's up?
Oh, you were in a very realistic rainforest, Katharine.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know about the one you were going to.
Have you ever been to, this is so specific,
have you interviewed Post Malone? No. Really? Mm-mm. I would going to. You ever been to, this is so specific, have you interviewed Post Malone?
No. Really?
I would love to.
I've met Post Malone one time.
I would. He was groovy.
Yeah.
You've interviewed him?
I've not interviewed him, but I've met,
he's a sweetie, I mean, and he's from where I'm from,
well, kind of, he's from Grapevine, Texas,
which is in the Dallas metropolitan area. And I used to go's from Grapevine, Texas, which is in the Dallas metropolitan area.
And I used to go to the Grapevine Mills Mall,
and there's a rainforest cafe there.
And I did one time witness a toddler,
someone had left on the floor unattended,
and they had taken off their diaper and were playing,
they were going to play with the poop.
That was what happened.
Oh yeah.
Oh, it's B-Y-O-B.
I feel like for a
kid there's no other... I'm not showing up at a rainforest. With an empty diaper, dude.
Yeah, with a child own toys, man.
Dude, we had, the first time I ever learned
about like theater and stuff,
I never really thought about this,
but we, in the apartment down from us,
they had a married couple, right?
And they were, I believe they were gay.
Okay.
But both of them would always, when I was, when one of them wasn't there, when the wife
wasn't there, the husband wasn't there, I would always sit there with their son.
And the son, now I know something's probably wrong with him at the time.
I just thought he just was kind of complacent.
Okay.
And, and the, yeah, the parent, the other parent would always complain about the other one,
but it would always be that like,
everything they complained about, it was always just like,
well, that's what a husband is, or that's what a wife, like.
I don't like that he's got a penis.
Yeah, it would be like, yeah, like,
I wish she used a comb, you know?
And he'd be like, well, then that's, you can't be upset.
But they would both play, watch musicals
all the time on television.
Interesting.
And I would always watch like, yeah,
there would be like newsies, different stuff like that,
different theater stuff.
Okay.
So it was the first time I ever saw that stuff, I remember.
That's crazy.
And then I dated a girl that worked at a Renaissance fair for a little while. Oh, that's fun. I love a Renfest
did you ever were you a
Competitor, what are they called? No
Performer performer. Yeah. No, I wasn't but I did enjoy
I love Game of Thrones. I'm a big got fan. Yeah, I've seen some of you. You have a lot of references that yeah
Well, I've got a show that we're trying to get.
A royal.
Yeah, I got Royal Court.
Royal Court.
I've got a bunch of, would love to have you on.
Yeah, is it for, do guests come on it?
I haven't seen it.
Yeah, it's a celebrity interview show
that we write the show around them.
You just had Drusky on, we're trying to get Drusky on.
And he's just the busiest motherfucker alive.
That's true.
And he rolls with like 45 people with him.
So we're trying to get him on.
He has a group. We had to get him a bunch of sausages and stuff when they was coming.
So what do you mean by that?
Just food items.
Oh, okay.
Some people want certain stuff.
The writer is just full of Jimmy Dean sausages.
Yeah, I mean they wanted sausages, you know.
Hell yeah.
I know, I respect it.
Can't hate it.
I love it, that's true.
Pretty good.
Yeah, we're trying to get Drusky on.
We'd love to have you on.
Thank you.
Backtrack, Renfest.
I've only been to a Renfest.
I've never performed there,
but I imagine that that is crazy.
Because you know how at a bar,
all the bartenders usually are having relations with each other
Yes, Rinfest is worse. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah the girl that I was dating she ended up leaving me for a guy who was a
Did the horseshoes or whatever
And it's called a... Tossed him or cleaned him. Yeah, a farrier the guy who re puts him on. How do you spell that?
Farrier?
Farrier. I watch a lot of those videos sometimes.
Oh, I love those. Sometimes it makes me feel weird though.
Sometimes it's like, hey guy.
They'll get too deep in there. I did not know that was the word for it.
A farrier is a specialist in equine hoof care, including the trimming and balancing of horse's hooves and the placing of shoes on their hooves, if necessary.
My sister married the son of a farrier."
Farrier. Yeah, farrier. Sweet talking son of a farrier. Preacher man.
Yeah, that's, that's, it makes me feel a little weird when they get way too deep in there because
it's, I don't know if it's bone and I don't know if it's, is it like what our nails
are made of?
Right, you don't know, and you're like, hey,
and the horse doesn't have, you almost want the horse
to have like a person next to it who speaks horse.
Right.
Who can be like,
that's far enough.
Yeah, time.
But yeah, the girl I dated, she was like a little...
Yeah, Renaissance Faire, it's home of the white tit.
It's home of the mammary.
Oh, the girl I dated.
Mammary gland.
She was just a beautiful little boiled egg of a lady and I...
And we...
Because it was more of a Ruben-esque woman's world.
Because the skinny girls, they would make them all be in like the malaria area
or whatever. Exactly.
Or like the plague.
Like the skin's coming off or whatever.
Psoriasis tent.
Yeah.
Yeah, if you had like no tits,
you were in like the scurvy stable or whatever.
Yeah.
Or the pile.
You'd have a pile of like three people.
You're going to be dead body number four in the pile.
That's what they would do.
You have to be well endowed to work at the Wrenfest.
Oh, she was a fucking little, oh my God.
That is crazy.
Look at that.
That is crazy.
And I love the dress too.
I mean like, boob aside.
I agree.
It's just beautiful period pieces.
A lot of people by us would do
Civil War reenactments Renaissance Fairs. It's where like yeah a lot of children could get work
Chimney sweeps
I'm just thinking like to work for children. Yeah, dude that Renaissance Faire shit that shit was fucking and then I remember she actually auditioned
Years later because she stuck with it for like six or seven years.
She got really into it.
Yeah, it's a lifestyle.
Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah, it is.
Because she even flew to Dallas to audition
for Medieval Times or whatever.
I love Medieval Times.
And didn't get it.
How do you get rejected from Medieval Times?
I don't know. I guess it's tough to get it. How do you get rejected from Medieval Times? I don't know, I guess it's tough to get in.
There's only one woman slot, by the way, it's the queen.
Medieval Times is a sausage fest.
Oh, that must be why.
It's all the nights.
I don't know.
Yeah, look up the Dallas Medieval Times,
see how many stars it has.
I've frequented that many a time.
Really?
Yeah. Oh, you know it's what I'm talking about
Yeah, I used to live in Lewisville, Texas, which is in Dallas four point seven
We know about that if people don't know what medieval times is you've been right? Yeah. Okay. It's a dinner theater. Yes
That is in the middle is a big sand pit where it's literally they'll do
equine
jousting they'll do equine jousting.
They'll do hand to hand combat.
Yeah, they'll do, I mean it's.
It's crazy.
And then each like section of this big auditorium is like,
you get a color and you cheer for your night.
You cheer for your color.
The bad part that happens is people start
abusing drugs usually in the evening and that somebody gets too fucking crazy.
When you fall into the horse pit. There's a lot going on. I mean you're sitting there,
you're supposed to be like this fine dining experience, the animals, you know,
it's some people they don't want to be around it. Then don't go is what I would say. That's true more for us. There's a part which I don't know if you remember this with the Falcon
Mm-hmm. They do a you remember this there's a guy that comes out and they're like the royal
Bird whisperer and they come out and it's that guy with the glove and the falcon. Oh, yeah
I think the bird was off when I went. Oh, he was off duty or it might have been an off week
Oh there. Here we go. Oh, yeah, and this guy
Oh, I think maybe I have been but this thing will eat a bread off someone's plate sometimes. Yeah, I
Mean you're fucking with nature here. You know what I mean look and he'll send him around
He flies through the whole stadium that thing will fucking steal a sister's wig out there, I bet.
It'll steal a small child.
Happy second birthday to Amelia!
It's got Amelia and it's Clinton.
It's really, it's just real unfortunate.
I love Medieval Times.
It's one of my favorite places on earth.
I think it's one of the best things that America's come up with.
Yeah, you know, there's not as much dinner, uh, theater.
I feel like as there used to be probably.
You'd ever used to live in Nashville.
Yeah. I still live in Nashville.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah. I thought you moved to Austin.
I'm going to go tomorrow. No, I think about it sometimes.
Um, just, yeah, I think about it.
Do you remember I met you in Nashville?
Oh my God, I should have had the picture pulled up.
I met you, I think it's in the Gulch at that breakfast spot.
Hold on.
No, let me think for a second. We can put the picture in later.
Yeah, I'll send you the picture.
Okay.
I saw you come into this place and I was there with my friend Forrest.
And I go, I think that's the Yvonne. walked in you're just getting breakfast and he was like holy shit
It is and we sat there we were like do we bother him? Oh wait I do it Fenwix
Is that what it's called? Bring up Fenwix. It's like a breakfast spot. Yeah, and you go up to the counter in order
And then you go sit down. Oh
Is it look let me see the inside I
Should have had the picture locked and loaded to show you yeah, I don't think that that's it. No, that's not it
Anyway, I met you in
2021 before any of this kind of like wow for me. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I was gonna say dinner theater
Dolly's got her thing there in Nashville. Dory Parton?
In Pigeon Forge.
Has a dinner theater?
Yeah.
My sister went to Pigeon Forge for her anniversary.
Oh, fun.
I gotta get, spend some time over there.
I haven't spent that much time over there.
So yeah, what's it like for you?
Cause you weren't a comedian then.
Not really, I was a TikToker.
Right.
But I wonder if that's just the new like,
you know, something's happening in comedy right now to where there's a lot of videos that are being put up or crowd work
Yes, and it's not like a lot of material. There's people doing crowd work tours
It's crazy, right like it's really
Because it just makes me think like and I'm not judging it. I'm just looking at it? Like it's really, because it just makes me think like,
and I'm not judging it, I'm just looking at it.
But it's like- Is it sustainable?
Right, and then like, are we getting to the point
where like things are liquidating kind of,
where it's like, you don't need material anymore?
But because I hear from some people,
it's like, oh, I'm tired of seeing crowd work.
And it's like, well, but that's also a masterful art, you know, if you can do it.
Well, a lot of the crowd work I see on Tik TOK is like, what do you do?
Bro's a banker.
And that's the joke.
What are you talking about?
What's funny?
Like I don't, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
But it is interesting.
I had a guy say the other day is like, you know, one guy, I love him, but he
doesn't post anything with any material anymore.
It's just, but then also it's like, you know, one guy I love him, but he doesn't post anything with any material anymore. It's just
But then also it's like you have to save your material for when people come out
To see your live show. Yeah, like when you go on Fallon or whatever and you have to burn bits
It's like I guess that's
Part of it. But how else are you gonna get people to want to come? You know, like I don't know
It's a difficult thing
But at the same time if you're talking about someone
like a Matt Rife, where it's like, you're doing crowd work,
but half of the gag is that like people want you.
And I mean, he's fallen from grace now totally.
And like-
Has he?
Oh, absolutely.
Oh my God, did you miss all this?
No, I know that people accused him of something,
but that seemed extra, that seemed ridiculous to me,
kind of.
His whole comedy special was basically him saying I don't like having a prim- primarily female audience
I want dudes to like my comedy and the whole like 30 minutes of his special are like
I hate women like I fucking don't you hate it when bitches like it's horrible
I didn't know that why would you alienate your audience like that? And that's what I think happens when it's like
You got famous from your crowd work and people liked you and women liked you
Why would you alienate the women? Yeah, they're the ones that like really support you they buy merch
They show up to the meet-and-greet, you know, they I don't know. Yeah, it was sad. Oh, it's interesting
I didn't know that is that a thing that people is that like, is this a thing going on, Nick?
Look, he called his fucking thing problematic.
Like he's making a joke out of it.
Is he topless?
Oh yeah.
Wow.
He's nips out.
I didn't know that there had been this fall from grace.
It's bad.
Oh gosh.
And to do that whole sort of rampage of like,
I want men to think I'm funny.
Well, they don't brother.
So what now?
You know what I mean?
You lost your woman audience and your man audience.
But he's still selling out dates.
So I don't know, maybe it's.
So then did he really then?
Right.
How effective is canceling?
Right.
Oh, I don't think, I think the best thing
you can probably do is get canceled
if it's for something that really means something to you.
But if it's just somebody writing an article on some,
but yeah, I don't know.
I didn't see the special.
I didn't either.
Oh, you didn't even see it?
I saw clips, so I saw the first five minutes.
No, I didn't watch the full thing.
Cause I was like, this isn't funny.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, it's not, I'm not rocking with it.
Well, I feel like we should see, I'll have to see it.
But I didn't know that there was this fall from grace
in the, like in the,
why has Matt Rife turned against his female audience?
If you've been on TikTok,
you probably had Matt Rife pushed on you.
But it's just people found people that he's entertaining.
There's a lot of entertaining stuff, man.
He's got a lot of great stuff.
Well, that's the whole thing is like,
we're all entertainers, you know?
And I think it's just about highlighting people
who are genuinely very funny, very original,
and very creative and like should have a Netflix special.
If your whole thing is predicated on controversy, boring, don't care.
You know, like I want to tell me a joke.
Right.
Yeah, that's interesting.
I think is there a lot of like some people it feels like they create, it's more about,
I'm trying to think of people that it's more about controversy.
Like, what does that mean when you say that kind of?
Well, for him, I mean, coming off of all the drama on TikTok, that was when he was like,
and I'm here's my special.
Oh, I see what you're saying.
I did.
Yeah.
I missed, I think a lot of that boat.
I just knew that he was just on tour and that the ladies loved him.
And we were talking like, like five months ago, I remember talking about how he was like,
there's not a ton of like that handsome of a guy who gets to also do comedy
It kind of works against you in
Oh, God
Doesn't help you out. I needed you to look over at me. So if I don't fucking his head a fucking
Oh God, if my mother would have fucked somebody with some cheekbones, I wouldn't even fucking worry about this shit
If she'd have fucked one guy with a dimple in our town
Yeah, and look I know that guy didn't have dimples
I know it was an incident with a fucking can opener, but still mom bang that guy. Yeah. Oh
But no, I didn't know that that I didn't know that Matt had that fall from
Yeah, but I guess if he's still selling out does he even care what's even going on?
That's the thing which which is just like,
what are we even talking about?
Because evidently it just doesn't fucking matter
because he's going to make money regardless.
I do think that TikTok has become a breeding ground for like,
it's very democratic in nature, you know,
of like comics that probably never
would have gotten discovered are having a Renaissance.
So it's a really cool thing too.
And it's also cool for people.
Yeah, I mean a lot of people find you and me on there.
Exactly, where they never would have found us before.
And also, I mean I have such a different path than you.
I have no interest in stand up.
But I like obviously this sort of setting
and I would say I'm well endowed comedically probably
thanks to my dad.
But I don't want to take it on
Tour or anything like that. So what do you do and you do the internet and you can do it, you know
But don't you think eventually you that that could evolve where you may want to yeah, you know, yeah and not and not even like
You know, I respect totally what you're thinking, but I've thought about that
too. It's like, I'm always somebody, I never wanted, I'm always like, nah, I won't do that.
And then a lot of times I end up being like, oh yeah, this is okay.
Yeah. I'm the, you got to force me to do it. And then I'll be like, it's kind of fun.
Yeah.
I'm worried. Yeah. I'm worried about that when it comes to stand up. Cause I feel like
once I start, I can't stop. It's going to be addicting.
Oh, start doing it
Yeah, I can't bomb though. I'll kill myself
The spit I don't care about it's the death
fucking
Someone losing their life not to opiates in America if I bomb I'll kill myself. Oh at least once
Oh, well, then you're gonna need some extra lives dude dude. It, the craziest part, dude, I remember one time
just bombing so hard.
What do you do?
Your whole, well, my brain was like,
I'm not staying here and hanging out with you.
My brain like left in like the back of my body.
And then I just remember like a bunch of sweat
started pouring down my throat,
which had never happened, right?
Like you can sweat inside your body.
And I was like, oh, this is going so bad.
And I still have like 20 minutes left.
Oh, fuck me.
And it hurts so bad.
It hurts so bad, man.
Is that, do you think it was a combo of material?
Was it strong enough?
Audience blew ass.
What happened?
Oh, it was, I had to perform at a college.
It was lunchtime, right after lunch.
It was a lot of like derelict children who,
it's the kids who would come to that thing.
It's like, I'm in college.
I could be playing video games
or just laying in my bed touching my beautiful young body.
But instead I'm going to walk over to the student union because I saw a flyer up somewhere.
Let me go see this redneck, tell me a joke.
So first of all, it's complete derelicts who would even do that, right?
Or adventurous people Or people that came strictly to fucking judge you and ruin your day sure
So
That's like did you have well you haven't gotten up on stage yet you have or you haven't I've done one
Stand-up set did people know you were gonna be there. It was at this like
My friends doing a thing at his house,
like one of those things.
And it was 22 comics on February 2nd of 2022.
It was like a two, two, two.
Oh, I thought you were saying,
Groundhog Day.
Exactly, St. Patrick's.
Actually, I think it was on 9-11,
February 22nd, yeah, it's 9-11.
Groundhog, baby, that forgetful venison,
they call it in some cultures.
Berman, yeah.
That is crazy, that's an American tradition only, right?
Can you look up the history of Groundhog Day?
Well, the natives probably had something to do with it,
I would guess.
And shout out to the natives, and sorry about everything,
but I believe that they had a lot to do with it.
Dude, the groundhog, who's going to fucking look at a groundhog?
Some perv probably.
Some perv that was like, and if he comes out of that hole and goes back in the hole.
Yeah. Hey, look, I ain't saying nothing, but I believe this animal's got a little thing for me.
Okay. So if he comes out.
He got a thing on him.
What does it say? Go back to it.
What does it say? Go back to it.
Groundhog's Day. The Pennsylvania Dutch were immigrants from German speaking areas of Europe.
The Germans had a tradition of marking February 2nd as Badger Day.
Candlemas?
Of marking Candlemas, which is February 2nd as Badger Day, Dachstag.
On which if a badger emerging from its den
encountered a sunny day, thereby casting a shadow,
it heralded four more weeks of winter.
Wow.
So it's a badger.
We got it wrong.
Also, where the fuck does that even come from?
I'm even more confused.
Candlemas is a Western Christian festival
observed in the Roman Catholic and Lutheran
churches in folk religion.
Various superstitions continue to be linked with the holiday of Punxsutawney beginnings.
The first reported news of a Groundhog Day observance was arguably made by the Punxsutawney
Spirit newspaper of Punxsutawney PA in 1886.
Up to the time of going to press,
the beast had not seen its shadow.
God, first of all.
The mark of the beast.
It's just the crown.
This is how they think of us entertainers.
This animal's coming to fucking entertain you.
And they saying, oh, this beast ain't even showed up yet.
It just goes to show.
It missed its call time. It goes to show. Call time.
It goes to show the pain you even have to go through to win over an audience.
However, it was not until the following year in 1887, the first ground all considered official was commemorative commemorated there with a group making a
trip to the gobblers knob part of town.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So I'm not saying it was a little right right
This is a real fellas hanging I bet people have gathered annually at the spot for the event ever since I would like to
Go to that one day
We could add it to our list of things to do it's on the to-do list when we do our great American road trip
Yeah, that's that'll be a real beautiful time. I think that would be really nice. You think he's still alive? That guy right there? Yeah, I'm sure.
The marmot.
Oh, that animal?
Yeah.
He looks chill, huh?
He looks like, let me do another take.
You got it wrong?
Dude, if you've been in there all year,
what if you come out and just fuck it up?
You're like, fuck.
That's so embarrassing. He bombs.
You're like I got the news wrong.
Yeah.
He comes out of the hole and the little turd comes out
and he's real embarrassed.
He's like go do it again.
He's kicking it back in with his foot.
He stepped in it.
What do you think about the TikTok band?
Did you see it?
Yeah, here's the thing.
Just do it. Like I'm tired of this edging. We? Yeah, here's the thing. Just do it.
Like I'm tired of this edging.
We're gonna do it or we're not gonna do it.
I think that it's a red herring for,
oh, you really wanna ban an app during an election year,
you know, where arguably like,
it's a very democratic app in nature,
but I think that the timing is intentional.
Oh, you do.
So you think, cause who passed it,
that Congress or the representatives?
Tick tock Congress years long case against bite dance.
It was 50 to zero that they're passing this shit along.
What are you saying, Zach?
It was both sides and it was Congress.
Oh wait, both?
But it hasn't passed the Senate yet.
But Biden promised to sign it if it hits his desk.
So the House of Representatives, the House committee voted unanimously last week
to advance bipartisan legislation that would force bite dance.
That's the Chinese ownership, right?
To divest its TikTok ownership within 165 days.
I think it's just a shame because TikTok we've seen it's just it's launched so
many businesses and it's a way to share information and it's a way that I mean not to get to like
sociopolitical but like
The more we're on social media and the more that we don't like interact with each other. We've lost
The concept of third places, you know, like public parks and coffee shops where we can go to talk to each other
TikTok is that third place when you ban, was it people gonna go to Facebook?
You know, and it's like, you can't really have a community.
It's just sad, you know, like we've found a way
to actually connect with each other and see cultures
and things that we never probably would have seen
and now we're gonna ban it because why?
Because of security and privacy.
Brother, my social security number and parents address
has been on the internet for years.
You know, like our credit cards are there
What are we actually talking about? We had that's that's part of it. I agree like why
You don't think there's so many other sites that have our information
I don't trust Facebook and Instagram to have our information just as much as I don't trust a different company
But they're saying since this is a Chinese company that that some of the argument is that China would never allow us to have a company over there
but
I'm more scared of our information already being completely monopolized
Exactly, and if it's not bite dance, it's gonna be you know, name the winner
It's just but forcing someone to own it.
And I think there's a lot of people that say
they don't want like, or there's a theory out there
that they don't want information like from Israel, Palestine,
from like the war, like that kind of stuff.
Like, you know.
Censorship for sure.
They want censorship.
Yeah.
And people want to be able to like have,
there'd be like a big three who owns what you can see.
You can control it.
And so this is something different. So that almost makes me feel like
That could be the reason, you know
It's overall just very sad and it's launched so many careers for so many people and it's
I think been an overall net positive for
I don't know
My life specifically but also just like I don't know, my life specifically, but also just like,
I don't know, it's fun.
Oh, there's no doubt it's fun.
I mean, I find myself getting more,
like in my downtime, it's so interesting
because each moment is a new, what is this?
Even if you have your own algorithms,
sometimes you forget that you do
and you're just like, what is this? And then sometimes something flies in from like totally out of left field and you're like, um,
Wow, that's so I never would have seen that that's interesting. I didn't know I was rocking with this. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, didn't know I was fucking with it like that. Yeah. Yeah, you're like damn. I didn't fucking know I was like that
I discovered Caleb Presley on tiktok really
Yeah, he had that clip go viral with Post Malone actually where he was like always tired being a Cowboys fan
I was like that's hilarious. Who was this guy? I need him
What do you say?
He's so funny that's a good impression. He's a wonderful guy. I feel lucky to know him. Yeah, it's so funny.
Like, yeah, some of the people you'll get to meet
or know, that's true.
Yeah, all the friendships you made.
It's also as what we do, where we make content online,
that's a major platform going away
that you can't promote on, you know?
Well, yeah, I mean, it would be really a travesty.
Then you would really have to go through like
It just yeah, I wonder if there's more to it because I just feel like
China has as much of our information as they want
That's a done deal at this point. It's like everybody goes to team who or something everybody's buying like shovels or whatever or whatever
They're getting you know, they're buying shovels rope duct tape
Whatever. I'm just spitballing here.
Frigidares.
Do you like living here in LA? How long have you lived here for? I moved from Dallas in
like early 2020, right before. The Pandy? The Pandy.
So I was paying LA prices to not enjoy LA,
which was so much fun.
It's all right, I like it.
I think it was culture shock for me at first.
I don't know if you experienced that too.
Like being from the South,
I was like, you bitches are weird out here.
Well, there's fast, there's so much going on.
There's people on bikes and stuff,
and you just don't know what's going on.
Yeah, those scooters.
We have, there's just so many little,
there's like, there's a lot,
there's just a lot more happening.
Yeah.
It's a lot busier.
Like even when I go back to Nashville,
like it's just, it's another,
so quiet. When Nashville's like,
when you're there, it's like,
I gotta go get my kids from school.
Yes. You know, like you're hanging out
with celebrities and it's like, I gotta go, it's 3's like I gotta go it's 330 damn y'all have real
lives here here doesn't it feels like a different planet yes you know it's like
not especially in entertainment it's like I don't know what we're all just
tweaking it's not yeah it doesn't see yeah you're like what is going on and I
just wonder what it's like now if you don't have comedy well I guess now you
started your podcast like if you don't have the, well, I guess now you started your podcast. Like if you don't have the stage. Yeah.
It's just interesting to see like, is the stage and doing standup still a viable way
where people feel like they can get an audience?
It's probably changed.
It definitely has.
I mean, especially when you talk about selling tickets, how do you get people to care?
You know, where do you go post it?
Right, they have to see, right.
So you have to be able to have stand up and then,
or have some sort of a live show that's good,
and then also have people see you.
Yeah, have the discoverability.
Cause on Instagram, it's like, you can't,
people who follow you will see your tour dates.
If they don't follow you, who gives a fuck?
You know, they don't know about you.
So it's like that's the beauty of TikTok
is that anything can go on anyone's For You page.
And that's gonna go away maybe.
So I mean, that sucks.
But YouTube, there will, a competitor will rise
when Reels came out on Instagram or YouTube Shorts now
where people just need short form content.
Or maybe a new app.
I'm hoping for a new app, but we'll see.
Yeah. Yeah, it always evolves.
What else do we have in the news? Nick, anything else?
A son's of OnlyFans model admits he films her content for her.
No.
Son of OnlyFans model admits he films her content for her. Wow.
While most teenage sons can't be bothered
unloading the dishwasher for their mothers,
this one goes above and beyond.
Oh, I don't like that.
Andressa Oroach is a successful OnlyFans content creator
and boasts over three million followers on Instagram.
Wow.
That's really all you had to share with us?
That was the best of the all you had to share with us.
That was the best of the best.
Wow.
Arthur is the one who does it.
Man.
Arthur's going to that therapy bill is going to be crazy.
I mean, but it was a, it's he's.
You think he gets a cut?
I mean, he used to live in there.
So I'm not saying that makes it fair, but it's like,
what's that Miranda Lambert song? You know what they say?
The house that built me.
Yeah.
The house that, you know, they say,
you can't go home again.
Yep.
Yeah.
Here we go.
I just had to come back one last time.
Man, I know you don't know me from Adam.
You like Tyler Childers?
But these handprints on the front steps are mine.
This is what, if you're filming your mother's vagina, this is a hole.
I don't, I think this might be the first time anyone's ever thought about it
from that perspective. What Miranda was doing when she wrote that. Well, I'm just saying
it as like, yeah. But is it getting to that where people don't have jobs anymore and they're
like, everybody is, you know, you have somebody driving doorash and filming their vagina at the same time just to make
ends meet seriously you start to wonder
if that's if people keep losing jobs
is that how dystopian it ends up you
know because then what Brittany oh then
what is I think at some point we're all
just gonna have to sell post pics even
men you got to figure out a way to sell
post pics I think you'd fold figure out a way to sell post pics
I think you'd fold your nuts into something kind of romantic or so, you know, I don't know what you would do
Origami nut or some you know a thing. Wow, that's cool
Something you'd put on a pillow at a night of fucking nice hotel, right? Right, you know, yeah a little trinket something you'd set in the yeah
On the toilet roll at a nice hotel, you know, yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Man, that's unfortunate any other news. Sorry. That was a lot. We'll get you out here in a few minutes, Brittany
Do we have any that aren't fucking life-altering well, this is important and I thought since you were an insurance agent
Surely you'd understand this
Taiwan man persuades friend to get legs
amputated for
1.3 million dollars. Now see if it wasn't a scam, if it wasn't a scam, do you think it'd be worth it?
1.3 million?
Would you do it?
No.
No, I don't think I would.
You think you know somebody that would though?
You could call. Yeah.
What if this were that new like phone a friend show
and it's like.
Sharks.
Sharks, I've got a crazy business proposal for you.
University student? Oh, he's so young so young forced himself to have a W invitation after he put his feet in a bucket of drives for more
Than 10 hours was caused frostbite I
Was thinking it was gonna be more like saw style like someone is there
Like with a comedically large saw oh yeah, that's actually
God I bet that hurt claims onlaims that on January 26, scroll up
please brother, Zhang got frostbite while riding a motorbike with his friend. That's what they said.
The prosecution said that a few days before the incident he filed for life, health, and accident
insurance. Some of the policies was 1.3 million. He was taken to a nearby hospital
where medical personnel thought his wounds were fake.
According to the release, the medical staff reported
that although the patient's feet were frostbitten,
they were neat and symmetrical.
Uh-uh.
Injuries and no socks or shoe marks.
No fucking way.
So how'd they get the amputation then?
There's nowhere close to freezing.
They're saying he did it to himself. Oh. So they're saying he needed the amputation then? There's nowhere close to freezing. They're saying he did it to himself.
Oh, so they're saying he needed the amputation,
but he did it to himself.
Oh, also they said in Taiwan, a subtropical region,
cases of severe frostbite requiring amputation
are unheard of.
Yeah, that makes total sense.
The plastic bucket that was used to freezing feet,
insurance papers, a white polystyrene box contained dry ice, eight cell phones, and electronic devices were discovered by police during their investigation.
So they were running a scam.
Oh yeah, if you have eight burners, dude.
Man.
And, yeah. Wow.
That is, I can speak from personal experience.
Really?
Insurance companies do not give a shit if you live or die.
Are you serious or die.
Are you serious?
Absolutely.
I believe it.
Because I worked at a call center for insurance companies.
It was like a brokerage.
And people would call in, and they'd be like,
I'm in a car wreck.
And I'd be like, let me pull up your policy one second.
Put him on hold for 30 minutes.
They'd be like, my leg.
And I'd be like, one second, sir.
And listen to the hold music.
And I'm pulling up, I'm taking a bathroom break.
And I'm like, all right, got your policy right here.
How can I help you?
They'd be like, I just got hit by a semi
and my fucking whatever and my dog,
my dog was in the, please.
And I'd be like, I would have to pull up their policy
and see where they selected, I don't want that coverage.
And I'd have to be like, are you sitting down?
We cannot help you.
I was like, I am now in a wheelchair.
Now I'm forever sitting down.
I literally had to be like, on this day at this time,
and I quote, you said, fuck y'all,
I'm not paying for that shit.
I had to quote it back to them and be like,
you rejected this coverage, it's not covered. I'm so sorry
Well, what the fuck do I pay for fuck y'all are scammers?
It's like with insurance the more you pay for the more it's worth it because when that shit happens not that but like when shit
Happens you're gonna be thankful that you would have people yell at you all day every day and call your names
Oh, yeah, yeah, I got called a bitch on the phone more often than not, I would argue.
Yeah.
It was a good time.
God.
We used to get angry voicemails from people
and we used to play them for each other and laugh.
Because you have to laugh at a certain point, you know?
Because it's like, you're mad at the situation, not at me.
I had to realize that, because I used to cry.
I used to cry.
Would you?
Yeah, they're so, like people are mean.
Oh yeah.
You know? I used to cry because I was like, I thought they were mad, like people are mean. You know? I used to cry because I was like,
I thought they were mad at me.
No, they're mad at themselves for.
Yeah, you fucking c***, give me my money.
Literally I have gotten that message verbatim.
And I was 21 when I graduated college
and I'm sitting there in this desk like,
is this the rest of my life?
Is that me with a, thank you for calling 10 insurance.
And do you have a lunch break too or not?
Yeah, I had a lunch break, but I would always try to go over.
And so at the end of the lunch, I'd be like, I'm going to go take my dump.
And I'd go in the bathroom and I'd hide.
And I'd just be on my phone.
And they'd, oh my God, this company was so micromanage-y that I would be in the bathroom.
And it was one of those bathrooms where the lights were like motion activated.
And I would sit in there for so long that they'd go out
People would come into the bathroom and literally knock on the stall door and be britney
Uh, uh, it was awful. It was awful. I hated every fucking minute of it
Dude at one time I was going to do a number two somewhere in seattle, right?
And uh, capital of america. Yeah, is it what coffee capital poop capital is it well?
It's the cat coffee capital so poop checks out. Yeah, um
And yeah, I went in I
Go in and when I go there's a bathroom attendant in there. There's like a guy working in there, right?
It's just handing you a right so I go sit in the stall and the dude comes and knocks on the door like don't worry
Bro, I got you, right? I'm like
Was he gonna wipe me?
I don't know what he means. I'm like, what do you mean you fucking
I don't need anything, right?
So now I'm wondering like how much does it cost like was I supposed to pay like a tariff or something like
Like how much does it cost to shit in here for a few minutes, you know to be in here defecating and am I running up a tab now?
I'm like all concerned, right?
It's an hourly rate, yeah.
So then here's what happens.
The guy, somebody else comes in and knocks on the door,
they have to use the bathroom.
This guy, the bouncer, the shit bouncer, whatever,
starts yelling at the fucking dude, knocking on the door.
He's like, hey my leave my boy as is
right well he was defending you he was defending you yeah the bouncer is like
hey hey leave my boy as is right and I'm like I don't know either one of these
guys out here but he's riding for you yeah yeah that guy's riding for me yeah
so they actually ended up getting a little bit of altercation, but...
And you're just pants around your ankles.
Yeah, I'm just like, why did I pick this place?
Yeah, you're whole out.
Yeah.
Oh.
That's, that's, you ever been walked in on while you were shitting?
Like someone opened the door?
I did it at a woman's restaurant the other day.
Apparently it was a gender sex uniform restroom. And I didn't know. I mean, I guess I did it at a woman's restaurant the other day. Apparently it was a gender sex uniform restroom.
And I didn't know.
I mean, I guess I did know.
I went in there and it just said it was like in somewhere
and I opened the door and there's a woman sitting right there.
She'd forgotten to lock the door.
Well, that's not necessarily your fault.
I mean, that's like, if you're not locking it.
Yeah, I wonder if she likes that
Probably not but what can you do at that point? You know, it's like and then you got to stand outside and be like you done
She's kind of walked by you as you walk in. That's the weirdest. No, just leave the restaurant at that point. Yeah
Yeah, I think that's weird if I'm in the bathroom, so I won't even come out until the bathroom is empty usually
That's that's the way to do it. Really?
Yeah.
Well, yeah, I don't want to look that person in the eye.
You just saw my gooch.
Or even if you're just in there, yeah.
Yeah, you're probably right.
Any other good news, guys?
Speaking of your royal court.
There we go.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaking of your royal court, Buckingham Palace confirms King Charles III is alive
after Russian media reports his death.
Classic Russia.
Oh man.
And that's Prince's Diana's husband, huh?
Yes.
Yeah, after reports surfaced in Russian media
that the monarch, who was recently diagnosed
with cancer, passed away, Buckingham Palace put an end to the speculation telling news agency TSS
We are happy to confirm the king is continuing with official and private. That's right. He's the king
Queen Elizabeth died even the king for what maybe a year now, maybe
When did Queen Elizabeth die
Do you know that meme of damn two years almost two years? Yeah, you know that meme of, damn, two years,
almost two years ago.
You know that meme of whenever someone dies,
they'll split the face and put XXXTentacion
with that person?
You ever seen this?
Look up, look up XTentacion Queen Elizabeth.
I'm like, anytime any public figure died.
What?
They'll post this and be like, RIP Queen Elizabeth, you would have loved September 9th, 2022.
And what's that the day after?
It was the day after she died.
She'll never see it.
Yeah, I remember Princess Diana died.
I was at my friend's house and he was a homosexual
prize fighter, right?
One of the toughest fighters that they had in our area.
And he invited me over there.
In the gay weight class?
Or what does homosexual have to do with it?
No, they didn't have it.
He was only a fighter?
Yeah.
Okay.
But he was the toughest guy around, but he was also gay, but people were like-
Period.
So they just didn't even have a guy like him.
Okay.
And he was, and he sold a bunch of weed to the kids, but he was awesome.
Yeah, he sounds awesome.
Oh yeah.
Can you shove him on the pot?
He's deceased.
But-
Damn it.
Yeah, he drove into an embankment actually, but he was, before that, he,
we were at his house, getting high over there,
and he's like, yeah, Princess Diana died,
and he started bawling, crying,
and I didn't know Princess Diana was.
And I thought it was like our mayor,
his wife or whatever in our town.
You thought her first name was Princess?
Well, I just didn't know, Like it was such a big deal.
And he had all these beanie babies,
these Princess Diana beanie babies, but.
Wow.
It literally, I mean, akin to like,
if Jesus had come down and gotten shot.
Yeah.
Oh, people were heartbroken.
Yes.
My best friend's mother has like statues
of Princess Diana in their home.
Yeah, she's like a saint.
Yeah, do you think,
what does the royal family even do though?
That is actually a great question.
What do the kings do?
Regrettably, a number of the king's forthcoming
public engagements have been rearranged or postponed.
He sounds like he's dead.
His majesty would like to apologize.
But what does he do?
I mean, I think they just like eat beans on toast and like be very royal. They be royal and they like be racist sometimes.
Yeah.
For fun.
Wasn't that it was a big thing that Queen Elizabeth like fucking hated Meghan Markle.
Did she really?
Yeah.
Oh wow.
It's like blatant racism for fun. Oh
These meetings are completely private and no official records have kept what is said
He receives daily dispatches from the government in a red leather box
Including briefings out of important meetings or documents needing his signature Wow
The king is the UK head of state, but his are largely symbolic and ceremonial. He remains politically neutral.
Interesting. There's something so silly about all that garb. Yeah I wonder if you
didn't have it though. What would it be too much of a loss of tradition? Right.
Have you seen the coronation chair? It's like a graffitied, ugly,
yeah, look up King Charles coronation chair.
It's like the most unassuming,
it's like the most important throne
in all of royal history of the UK.
Oh, wow.
It's just ugly and it's like wood
and it's got graffiti on it.
It looks like the birthday chair at a Texas roadhouse
where my sister used to work at.
It does, it does.
Literally.
Yeah, there's like ash, ash marks from cigarettes.
There's peanut shells on the floor.
It just has some Conway Twitty lyrics or something
like chiseled into it.
Oh wow.
Happy anniversary Mark and Carol.
Yeah, that's what my sister used to bring out all the time.
God, I love a Texas Roadhouse.
She was a waitress?
Yeah, she was a waitress.
I bet that was fun.
She did a pretty good job of it, I think.
I think people enjoyed her energy.
She's a nurse now.
Period.
Yeah, that Texas Roadhouse to nurse pipeline is pretty common it's really common yeah where all my Texas Roadhouse to fucking nurse
bitches at where the nurse hose are you excited having a podcast how long have
you had yours I launched mine oh your video with that fucking shirt collar? Show that video dude.
Tell me what happened.
That shit, okay so, you know what a dickie is.
You're familiar with a dickie.
You go, yeah, I'll let you play it.
Fake collars from Amazon so I can wear a sweatshirt
and not have to put a collared shirt under it.
And girl, that's so stupid as fuck! So bad!
Dude you look like every character from Harry Potter in one person right there
You know who I look like? Fucking Chris Farley from that one, the Chippendale sketch
Look it up! That's what I look like!
No angel baby, you do not look like that.
That is, that is your imagination.
I put the top on for mine.
This, I remember my mother showing me this.
Oh my God.
I really was like, this is about to be a fashion moment.
Wasn't humiliating.
I can't believe it.
How much did they charge you for those?
That'll run you about $4.99 a pop.
And you don't think China has our information?
They know the width of Britney Broski's neck.
They know my neck cup size.
Well, she's got some Ds on her.
It's a girthy, it's a D cup neck.
Hey look, it's a 12 inch neck she's riding on.
It's a good diameter.
Yeah, that shit was real humbling.
What else, Nick, anything else good in the news?
I feel like they were kind of negative from if we we had an uber driver attacked in Chicago, New York City squatters
Uber is leaving Minneapolis
Yeah, that's crazy. What's that about?
Yeah, I saw that uber is uh
Wait uber's no longer gonna be working in many uber's longer going to be working in Minneapolis. Uber and Lyft, right?
Burt.
Excuse me.
Very fair.
You can audition for the yell team.
Thank you so much.
Oh, it's only guys.
It's only guys.
Damn.
Why don't they have a women's one?
Nope.
Tradition.
It's horrible.
There will be one day when there's a woman yell later. God willing.
After the Minneapolis City Council voted 10-3 to override Mayor Jacob Fry's veto of a ride-hailing pay raise ordinance on Thursday,
Uber says it will pull out of the entire Twin Cities metro starting May 1st.
Uber wrote, we are disappointed the council chose to ignore the data and kick Uber out of the Twin Cities,
putting 10,000 people out of work and leaving many stranded, but we know that by working
together with all stakeholders, drivers, riders, and state leaders, we can achieve comprehensive
statewide legislation.
I don't trust Uber.
What's going on?
What are they supposed to do?
Cabs?
Oh, the new ordinance aims at guaranteeing drivers earn minimum wage in Minneapolis.
It requires ride-hailing companies to pay drivers rates
equivalent to the city's minimum wage of $15.57.
Amen, I think they should have to do that.
They definitely should.
So that's why, they don't want to pay them $15.57.
They'd rather ban both companies, that's crazy.
They didn't ban it, Uber and Lyft voluntarily pulled out.
Oh!
I see, so they're saying if you want to work here,
you have to pay them that much. I think that that's fair. I think that, I see. So they're saying if you want to work here, you have to pay them that much.
I think that that's fair. I think that I was just in Australia and they have there, it's like a livable wage, right?
I can't imagine that. So people can get like $30 an hour just like
for like so many jobs. What is it? Look it up Nick, so I know what I'm talking about.
But you know what? First of all, you...
Whoa!
23.23 per hour.
It's a minimum pay rate provided by the Fair Work Act of 2009.
That's like what I was making with a full bachelor's degree.
Yeah.
Like, I worked my ass off to make $20 an hour.
That's crazy.
And so, uh, the crazy part was you would see, so then everybody was like kind of happy in their job.
It's like, everybody knows that they're going to be able to survive.
They're going to make it through.
So there was this total energy.
Australia's minimum wage is go back is Australian 23, 23 per hour for adults over the age of 21. So actually
the Australians the same amount as US though it's $15.23 US. Is America's that?
Well I guess it depends on the state. Yeah what's our um... I tell you I used to
work at Baskin Robbins. I made $7.25 an hour.
California, it's $16 an hour.
But the cost of living in California
is so much higher than everywhere else.
It's unbelievable.
The federal minimum wage for covered,
non-exempt employees is $7.25 per hour.
Do you ever work in the food industry?
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I used to sell Mexican food for a living.
And what else?
Um, yeah, I worked at a... another Mexican spot and then, yeah, I was a waitress or whatever, waiter.
You were not a waiter, you were a waitress.
I was a waitress. Which one did you work at?
Uh, Baskin-Robbins.
Oh, you did?
I worked at Baskin-Robbins. I was slinging cream.
Were you?
Yeah.
Praise God, mama.
I was slinging cream at the age of 16.
I worked there 16 until I turned 18.
Oh, really?
Now, did a lot of guys come in there to flirt?
Because I feel like a...
Really?
It's old people who go...
Like, to physically go into a Baskin Robbins,
it was like old people being like,
I'll have the regular.
Sir, I just started working here, what's your regular?
And that's gonna be a large milkshake.
Imagine a large at one of those places.
Praline, butter pecan praline milkshake.
And that shit's delicious.
I can't lie.
Old people, they love pistachio, they love butter pecan,
praline, whatever, all those like, seems nasty, pretty good.
And I would have to make these grown men
who like own companies their milkshake.
Oh wow, so they like it.
It is an old fashioned kind of place, Baskin Robbins.
It is.
And it seems like, but it's prominently,
is it a white clientele mostly?
It's a white clientele, yeah.
Cause I worked at,
what was the one, um,
Cold Stone Creamers. Oh, that's where they do the scoop and the chop and the- Yeah, we were fucking yeah. You did that? Huh? Oh, I chopped the shit with a credit card.
I'm looking at how you get weird boy. You're dipping it in that water, that
murky water. I'm raging in that bitch. Two amexes. You're doing it with your hands. Yeah
god it was fun. Cold Stone was like a culinary experience.
Oh yeah, Cold Stone was a vibe, man.
What's your order?
I like cake batter straight up.
You didn't do any mixings?
I would throw in a little bit of sprinkles,
but nothing crazy.
I don't like it where it like infects the ice cream so much
and it gets colored out.
So I just put it in a certain area and eat it fast.
Almost like put a little mustache of sprinkles on it.
Right, right.
Get that in me first. A ribbon. Yeah, I eat it fast. Almost like put a little mustache of sprinkles on it. Right. Get that in me first. A ribbon. Yeah. Yeah. I liked it though. Yeah, what else?
Well, the Uber drivers, well, in Australia, so everyone makes a little weight, so
you'll see like a gorgeous woman working construction. Period. What's wrong with
that? Nothing. You don't see it. We see more of that. We need more. Yeah. Yeah
It's just like you don't you would see like a supermodel
So that I'll put it like that you would see a supermodel working in like you'd be walking by the constructions
You oh my fucking god like
What I will just build I will let that lady fucking just build my build it like a My fucking God. Like, what?
I will just build, I will let that lady fucking just build like a two bedroom, two bath in my heart.
Yeah, yeah, crown molding.
Yeah.
I trust her with my life.
Yeah, so it just, I guess that was kind of interesting.
I think, yeah, that just the minimum wage is too low.
But I don't know enough about economics
to learn about that. And I'm kind of in the same boat with you don't know enough about economics to learn about that.
And I'm kind of in the same boat with you.
I should have somebody on to talk about that with.
Yeah.
You should see if Caleb's available.
Yeah, he doesn't know.
Tennessee could ban marriage between first cousins.
Wait, Tennessee. No!
Yeah.
Oh, come on!
Dude, my buddy Justin's gonna be pissed.
I'm not even joking, dude. Come on! Well, my buddy Justin's gonna be pissed. I'm not even joking, dude. He...
Come on!
Well, here's the thing. Here's why they're even...
What do you mean?
I'm not saying... It depends on where you live.
Here's the thing. If you don't have any gas money, your parents don't have a car, you live in an area,
how far will you walk for love that's the question for gooch what
would you do for gooch well at a certain point if your family lives rural enough
how far are you gonna walk to make love how far would you walk to make love me
12 miles you're capping it at 12 yeah I'm not walking after that I'm like who's
within this area? Yeah.
And if you do it myself with, if it's over 12. Oh yeah. But I think,
yeah, just interesting, I guess.
I will admit I did not know that it was already legal to begin with first cousin. That's your parents, siblings, kid.
Right? Yeah. Now I'll say that. That is a little too close to home, I think.
That's like for real inbreeding.
That's not even like, oh, it's a third cousin
on your mama's side and she got divorced three times.
That's your for real blood.
Yeah, why buy the cow when you can just smash your cousin?
You know, that's that kind of thing.
I feel like it's like.
But House Bill 2041, initially filed for introduction
by Representative Darren Jernigan,
prohibits marriage between first cousins.
Wow.
What does that say about Dan and Shay?
Dan and Shay are supporting?
Dan and Shay surprise, oh, I thought that was related.
Are they surprised the voice fans downtown?
Nevermind.
Yeah, that's actually crazy that it's legal.
I know.
Gosh.
Are we supportin' Bill 24?
I think that at this point, especially with Uber,
now if you live in Minneapolis-
You could be fuckin' your cousin.
But with Uber, I think you gotta figure that out.
In this sort of scenario, I mean, Tennessee,
that's already pretty, that's redneck.
Some places get pretty rural.
Yeah.
Yeah, if you get it out of East Tennessee.
If you remove Uber and Lyft from Tennessee,
we're dealing with something major.
Yeah.
A pandemic, an epidemic, you know.
Yeah, I wonder what would happen
if all those things went away.
We would go back to almost a different time, really.
That's what I'm saying.
I was talking about third places earlier.
Like, what if we have to leave our houses?
What would we do?
Oh, like where would we go?
Yeah.
Yeah, cause I guess like, yeah, like,
you're more of like a culture
where everything is really on social media, you know?
Whereas my life's been kind of split
where that wasn't really the case.
So it's like, you just, it's a different time.
It's just more, I will say this,
there's more room for imagination
and you used to leave things up to chance more.
Like it felt like if you saw somebody or ran into somebody
or then it was like, there was like, like oh the world has some purpose in this yeah yeah it's gone
now I feel like everything you hide behind a screen what's there to risk
there's no like spontaneity yeah them right yeah the man yeah there wasn't as
much like will I see them again and if you do it meant there was like so much
value and build up like yeah what if I will I ever see them again? And if you do it, it meant there was like so much value and buildup, like, what if I, will I ever see them again?
What if I never see them, you know?
You talking about like potential partners or friends?
Yeah, potential partners, yeah.
Like if you saw a girl, then you would just pine over
until like the next time you saw her,
and you're like, oh, when I see her,
I'm gonna say something,
and then you wouldn't say anything.
You'd be like, but when I see her next time.
Exactly.
And then it would be 20 years later,
she would be married and you'd be like,
but when I see her.
Things are gonna be different.
If I just would have seen her.
Oh, if I just would have seen her.
Now you can find her address
and show up to her house
or send her a DM and say, just your penis.
I see you.
Yeah, I see you.
I'm outside your house. Yeah. Scary. What do you. Yeah, I see you. I'm outside your house.
Yeah.
Scary.
What are you, yeah, I saw you went through some love issues.
Recently, there was a guy you had kind of met
and it fell off.
Yeah, I had an Irishman.
When we were talking about the Irish,
had an Irishman that I met on a Christian dating app
that I did a brand deal with.
And I was like, they gifted me premium.
And then the premium ran out
and I went ahead and paid for it myself.
34.99 a month.
Get your life.
And I got it.
And I found this beautiful young gentleman and he was-
In Ireland or in US?
He's gonna be in Dublin.
He's in Dublin.
And I was in Nashville at the time.
And I was, so we were messaging and he was still awake
cause that's what?
That's Eastern time.
Yeah.
So they're only five hours ahead, but back here it's eight hours ahead.
So it just sort of slowed down,
and then he was responding to me
like every three to five business days,
and I was like,
this isn't very romantic,
you know what I mean?
Yeah.
He was so funny though,
because I'm always worried,
you know when you talk to people from other countries,
it's like,
you're going to get my sense of humor.
Yeah.
And he did,
and he was smart, and he like went to college, and I was like, it's like, you're gonna get my sense of humor. Yeah. And he did, and he was smart,
and he like went to college, and I was like, okay, okay.
But I'm going to Ireland in July.
You'll see him then, you think?
I'll see him.
So were you guys FaceTiming and stuff,
chatting like that?
No.
Not one voice message, not one.
No way, not even a voice message from an Irish.
You gotta get it.
He did tell me though, he said,
he goes, I need to tell you something. And and I was like there's nothing you could say because I'm so I've built him up
In my mind. I'm like there's nothing you could say. He said I've got some fucked up teeth
Does he and I hit dozy and I said they can't be that bad. He sent me a photo just of the teeth
Yeah, it's bad
Not that good. It's not that good and I's not that good, and I don't really have
dental insurance I can offer him.
We're kind of self-employed entertainers.
You can get him a package,
oh no, you go, I know his look like,
yeah, if your teeth look like the ones you see
in the bones of a skull or whatever,
that's always bad, you know?
A Victorian skull?
Yeah, that usually feels bad to me.
Yeah, you got teeth that belong in a museum. Yeah. That usually feels bad to me. Yeah. You got teeth that belong in a museum.
Yeah.
That's what that is.
He sent me that photo and I said,
Oh,
yeah, what is that?
I wonder, because there is something about you meet people online.
It just feels so tough.
Like it's like, does this mean any, what's going on here?
And then you'll spend so much time in this fantasy world of your own.
Like you see their pictures
You think about this you've seen them from so many angles. You're like
God, it's you think you know them. You don't know that person
No, you don't know them at all and you have all these judgments already about them
Yeah, without any of their own real energy. That's it's very true
I'm like I'm filling in the blanks with what I want them to be
Oh, yeah, he could be a fucking perv loser, but I'm like in my head we're married.
Where we've been happily married. We have some tiffs sometimes, but you know we're married.
And it was in the church and we have two kids.
But it's like yeah, it's scary to think like I'm going to his country, a place I've never been before.
And so you told him like hey, I'm coming there, and did you do it to go see him?
I wouldn't care if you did. Yeah. Yeah, we've all done things like hey, I'm coming there and did you do it to go see him? I wouldn't care if you did yeah, yeah, we've all done things. I mean hello
You've never flown across world for a dick appointment. You're lying
I've flown some places domestically. Oh, yeah, okay, if you add them up. Yeah, it's definitely an international flight
Yeah, you got some Delta points
At least a free flight probably.
You hit a diamond medallion.
Or flown somebody in, you know.
That's crazy. I want to get to that level.
I want to start flying dudes out.
But it's just what he's doing. You're going there.
Or just the girl coming to see me.
Yes. Yeah.
Yeah.
But you front the bill, right?
Yeah, I think that that's fair if they're spending their time to do it.
Right. Yeah, I'm going to start doing that for men.
I think that's... Yeah. I'm spending their time to do it right yeah, I'm gonna start doing that for men I think yeah, I'm gonna get some dudes flew down
Dude, no, I see it. Well. That's a thing. It's just interesting. It's like yeah
How do you find because a lot of relationships are online these days? I just saw an article the other day
See if you've seen anything Nick and then we'll get out of here Brittany
The the place people meet now is online.
It used to be an actual real place.
Yeah.
But that's over now.
Oh, it's a graph.
How couples meet in the US.
Whoa.
And this...
Work was the number one under friends?
In 1980, this is an example,
through friends was 33%.
Whoa.
Work was 25%.
A bar was 22%.
Through family was 18%.
Grade school, first of all, pedophile,
I'm gonna say that, was 10%.
The schoolyard.
I just knew that.
Neighbors was 8%.
Whoa. And online was 8% Whoa!
And online was 0% in 1980
now
Does this say just actual numbers so I don't have to go through all that again?
That's 2020
50 over 50% of all relationships
Yeah, wow
That just makes me sad, you know?
But I think it goes into kind of what you're talking about.
It's like, how do you get back?
Yeah.
What are the percentages, Nick?
Just find them for us in a little graph or in a, not a graph, but in a, just a list if
you can, brother.
Um, what it's like, yeah, cause I, I wonder what things do you miss by not having that
old fashioned thing?
Yeah. Like it would just be like like I remember you'd see a girl
I saw a girl go by on a school bus one time and I saw her through the window
Mm-hmm, and I fell in love with her. Yeah, of course, of course
And then I told people she was my girl for a couple months, right?
And she was we're seeing each other on the weekends and said and there was no just a lie. Oh
It was so sad. I was just at my apartment just being sad. Yeah, and then um
And I never saw her again
She might have been the one
She might have been you think about her. Yeah, I still think about her sometimes man
Nearly 45% of survey respondents reported online dating apps to be the place. Wow. Making it the most popular spot.
I feel like it's more than that.
That's crazy though.
Um, yeah, and girls always have to do so much to get ready for a date, I feel like.
Oh yeah, dudes just barely even shower.
Barely show up.
You know?
They left half of them at home.
It's just pitiful. There's this picture of, you know, just like half of them at home. Oh. It's just pitiful.
There's this picture of, you know, just like the difference of the effort that like men
and women put into a lot of things.
There's this picture of Beyonce and Ed Sheeran at the same award ceremony.
And Beyonce's in this beautiful like Terry Mugler vintage gown, just like glam, thousands
of dollars.
Ed Sheeran's in jeans and a button up.
And they're side by side, they perform together, he's in fucking...
That's it. Oh, that's the most Ed Sheeran vibe ever. He's always like that. He, you cannot blame...
I love it. Yeah, wow, that's crazy. She looks dressed like a beautiful ovary or something. He looks like somebody who fucking donates at a sperm bank.
You know?
Who's banned from a sperm bank.
Yeah, yeah.
And God bless you, Ed.
We definitely.
God bless Ed.
He's one of the greatest musical minds of a generation,
but we have got to get you in a suit, brother.
He's one of a kind.
Oh, that is really special.
He's one of a kind.
And I shouldn't have meant Phyllis, but we have got to get you in a suit, brother.
He's one of a kind.
Oh, that is really special.
He's one of a kind.
And I should have meant Fallopian Tube,
but that's what I meant.
Fallopian Tube.
Happy International Women's Month, by the way.
I'm always an inch away from what I really mean, you know?
We can get you there.
Yeah, I love this photo, it's crazy.
Yeah, that is pretty wild.
I saw him perform one night.
I was watching who the chain smoker is in Las Vegas, and he came out and performed. Yeah, I love this photo. It's crazy. Yeah, that is pretty wild. I saw him perform one night.
I was watching who the chain smoker is in Las Vegas
and he came out and performed.
He's amazing.
So good.
Yeah.
And at first, so like, just do part of your song.
He's like, none of my songs, it's like,
I have kind of ballad-y stuff.
Yeah, heart-wrenching.
Yeah, and you guys are like DJs,
but then like, so they've did a little bit of one of them.
And then another, and then next thing you know,
it was just like, became like his show. I'm in love with with the shape of you that song goes crazy. It was fucking hype, dude
People were just fucking lonely, but also feeling something at the same time. It makes me very like
If ed sheeran can find love
Beautiful love I can yeah, you know what I mean? It gives me he's he gives me hope. Is he married?
Happily.
Oh wow. I didn't know that he was married.
Yeah, it's interesting figuring it out, finding somebody.
You know?
Yeah, what if you had to move to Dublin?
Oh, that's where, what's her name's from?
Sinead?
No, that other lady you said looks like you guys look alike each other, people tell you sometimes?
Adele?
Adele.
She's British. Oh Oh she's British. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, she's from London, South London. Oh, that's nice. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Hoseyer is from Dublin. Oh he is? I need him
desperately. Yeah, dude. Yeah, in like the most biblical sense that a man and woman can need each other. I need him like that.
Yeah, there's something real interesting about that Hoseyer. He's about six foot seven and that's not a joke. Oh god.
Big monster of a man. Love him seven, and that's not a joke.
Big monster of a man, love him.
That's a long boy.
If you're stretched out.
God, imagine being that long
and just longing around everywhere
and you can't even hide, you know?
That would break my heart.
But at concerts, I bet it's nice
you can look over everybody.
But then people meet up at you at fairs and stuff.
Yeah, meet at the big Irish guy yeah, yeah, just meet at Danny at 11
Wherever Danny's gonna be you gotta trust him Danny just y'all gets all fucked up and he's never there that is crazy
Now it is crazy
Anything else man, I thought there was one other
thing I was gonna ask you about yeah let me hear it uh you know we didn't even
get into I had questions for you too you did we'll have to do a part two okay I
had questions about God and about but you've talked about that a little bit
before not that much you know I think about that a lot I've been trying to
have a better relationship with God.
I was going to say, because you did not grow up, like, in the church.
No.
But it's been a journey for you.
Yeah.
Especially with sobriety and, you know, just getting older and the more you realize about the earth and the world and people, where have you landed?
Yeah, I think I need a faith.
Love that.
But does it have to be nominal, like Christian or?
No, I think I prefer, I don't know if I prefer is the word.
I use Christianity,
because that's the thing I'm most familiar with.
So I think I use a lot of those kind of symbols.
I think I use a lot of those kind of symbols. You know?
But I think, yeah, it could be any way
you used to find faith, you know?
And build a relationship with a higher power.
I just find that I just need it more and more.
It's just too much strain.
I just can't handle it.
That's real.
Unless I like, you know, I've been just trying to say
thy will be done more often and say that as much as I can.
It's just like, suddenly like everything is not my responsibility.
Yeah.
Because that's how I get to feeling like that everything in the world is my responsibility.
Yeah, way is heavy.
Oh, it's just this weird stacking weight that you don't even realize is happening.
Yeah, it's also self-inflicted. Like you did that to yourself. Right. And it used to be a good skill when I was a
kid because I felt a lot of self-responsibility like I have to take
care of myself. So then it made sense. It was like everything is my
responsibility it feels like so I need to do that. But then as I got older
it's not this it's like it's you're not a kid anymore just trying to get look
their little life done. Yeah. Now you're not a kid anymore just trying to get their little life done.
Now you're an adult, everything is not your responsibility, you know?
And it shouldn't feel that way all the time, you know?
I like that. I like that it's kind of outside the bounds of like the church, but it's still familiar.
I like that.
Yeah, what do you feel about it?
Oh man, I'm ex-Christian.
You are? Yeah. Oh, you feel about it? Oh man, I'm ex-Christian. You are? Yeah.
Oh, you're a, you were a Christian?
I was, I was raised in the Baptist church.
Oh really?
It's like, well, Baptist on my mom's side
and Pentecostal on my dad's side.
Pentecostal, they get wild, they skirt it up.
They skirt it up, they got,
it's almost like Amish sometimes.
It's, speaking in tongues and like firing brimstone.
So I feel like I have two extremes on both sides.
And that's a weird way to come up,
because it's like, especially as someone who's funny
and has success, which I'm so grateful for
and I'm so fortunate, to accredit that to a God
and not me and what I've built is kind of where I struggle.
You know, where it's like all glory to this other thing,
but he didn't, I did the work, you know?
And so much of it, I think is chance.
TikTok happened at a certain time
that I happened to be posting videos.
I'm not more deserving than any other person.
We just got lucky.
So I struggle with it sometimes of like, I've been told that you need to look at the world this way, but I don't. So what do you do? And I sometimes have trouble sleeping a night over it, but I don't
miss the church. Yeah. Did you meet any men in the church? They're very judgmental. Are they?
Yeah, Christian men are the first to shame you.
Yeah, the church can be like that, you know,
even like Kat Von D was here and she's a Christian,
she's like turned her life over to Christ recently
and she was just talking about how, yeah,
some of the first to judge so often are like,
that you're not doing it the right way, All that kind of shit to me seems ridiculous.
Everybody's just trying, they're trying, you know?
And they're trying to figure out.
And I think it also, like some of that relationship
evolves over time.
Definitely.
Yeah, I think I got to the point where I just feel
like the gods are up there, like,
doing their fancy stuff and having like a dinner there like doing their fancy stuff
and having like a dinner and like doing things.
And then like a crumb of like creativity falls off
of their table and like, and it hit me
in the fucking back of the head or something
when I was a fucking kid.
Left that dent.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was wondering what that misshapen dent was.
So I think I feel like that, like,
I just feel lucky that sometimes that
I get to be like a conduit.
Like some people, everybody's kind of a conduit
at different times for joy.
You know, somebody can even just hug you
and they can be like that.
Some people have the best hugs,
some people have the best, they make the best.
Squash casserole.
Yeah.
And some people make the best or great art yeah
yeah condo vessels a great sort of image as well just like a yeah conduit of joy
I love that yeah I'm just like a radio station for the Lord you know it's like
everybody is FM JC and sometimes it's fucking rattly bullshit but every now and
then you catch something it's like all right right, it's all right. Yeah.
You know, so I don't know.
I know you help a lot of people too, who have similar.
Yeah, we got a lot of people,
we have a lot of people going through it.
You got a lot of broken fans.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, we are a meetup of really fucking,
some real beautiful fucking animals.
Yeah, I got, my audience is incredibly gay and female
and also non-binary, but also very mentally unwell.
Yeah.
And I love it.
Yeah.
You gotta have a little flavor.
Well, yeah, and I think people are trying to,
it's tough to figure it all out.
It is, it's hard.
Yeah, and I think it's gotta be really tough if people,
especially when it comes to people being non-binary
or a lot of that stuff, I can't even imagine.
My friend is a comedian and then he got,
he transitioned to a woman.
And it's just been interesting to see what what that is like like for him, you know, I
watched your video you posted I loved it on
When someone called in and asked for advice on being a man. Yeah, I thought your response was so beautiful
Oh, thanks. Yeah, her name's Theo to actually this lady and
Yeah, it was interesting.
Yeah, you just try to give somebody some pointers, you know?
Yeah, and just grace.
Red Rover, yeah.
Oh yeah, I can't imagine, dude, if I went over
to being a woman, I don't know, the first thing I would do
when I would get there, probably close the door
and be like, what are we in it now?
This is a lot.
What's going on down here?
Or just all of it.
Yeah.
Gosh, I couldn't even imagine.
Imagine all of the new things you would have to do.
Especially- I'm imagining it.
Yeah.
If you go, I wonder which way is easier
if one way is easier than the other.
I would imagine, well, I won't even try to speak to it.
But I do think that there's like,
I think women know more about men
than men know about women
because we've had to figure out
how to live in a man's world.
Y'all have never had to figure it out.
You know, like-
It's a good point.
I think that that,
and I'm not saying it would be easier.
I'm saying that there is more knowledge that we know.
Yeah.
If that makes sense.
Yeah, I would probably think that about men you mean.
Yeah.
Oh, definitely.
Because we're always wondering what do men think, what do men like, what do this, what do that.
And I know men think the same thing, but it's also like, especially when you talk about religious communities
or in the South where it's like,
your whole life expectancy is like,
you get married to a man, you have his babies,
that's your life.
You know, it's not really career driven,
the way that it is in like maybe New England
or the West Coast.
Like it's very traditional.
Do you think it's better,
do you think one is really better than the other though?
Cause I've thought about that.
It's like, cause then I have friends that like,
just work forever and
then they achieve all their goals and work but then they don't have a family
and they feel you know some type of way about it. I think to each their own I
don't ever want kids. Yeah. You don't? No never never. We're not gonna have any
little yellow M&Ms running around. Damn. What about some Irish ones, eh?
What about some what?
Some Irish M&Ms.
Some Irish M&Ms, maybe.
Dude, if you could have a little fucking Irish kid,
there's no way you couldn't imagine that.
Hey, Mom.
I think that having little ginger babies around me
would freak me out.
What are y'all doing?
You know?
Oh, definitely.
Why do you look like that?
They won't even allow you to donate ginger semen anymore at the sperm bank. They banned Ed Sheeran from the sperm bank. That's crazy
Um, Brittany Broski. Thank you so much. Uh
for hanging out if you guys don't know about Brittany check her out, I know a lot of you guys do but um
Yeah, just nice to be able to talk to somebody and
Big fan thanks for having me. Thank you. Yeah, a dream. I appreciate it It's very sweet of you to come and spend time and um yeah, I hope you I look forward to seeing
What you want to do with your?
Talent probably porn yeah, yeah if this doesn't work out. We're gonna you know
Hey, well hopefully have a son to film it.
Look, you're gonna need cheap labor with these wage rates.
Brittany, thank you so much.
Thank you. And let me know about Caleb. Go ahead and send him my number. I will. I'm gonna send him that picture that we all took.
All right, love it. and send it to my number. I will, I'm gonna send him that picture that we all took.
All right, love it.
Now I'm just floating on the breeze
and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
I must be cornerstone.
Oh, but when I reach that ground,
I'll share this peace of mind I found.
I can feel it in my bones
But it's gonna take a little