This Past Weekend - E497 Sketch

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Starting point is 00:01:06 going to a friend's wedding in Europe and so I was able to find some dates last minute and these are what we can do for now. I will be coming back and doing other cities and maybe doing some of these cities again So don't be upset if I'm not coming to where you are right now. I'll be in Belfast on June 7 at the SSE Arena. I'll be in Dublin on June 8 at the 3 Arena, Manchester UK on June 13 and London UK on Juneth. Those tickets in Europe are all on sale right now. I will also be in Las Vegas on July 5th and 6th at Resorts World. Get your tickets early starting this Wednesday, April 24th at 10 a.m. local time with the presale code RATKING. General on sale starts Friday, April 26th at 10 a.m. local time. We also have tickets remaining for Halifax, Nova Scotia, and Vancouver in the British

Starting point is 00:02:13 Columbia. Today's guest is truly one of a kind. He is everywhere right now. He is an entertainer. He's a streamer. Um, he is just the dang, he's the Winnie the Pooh of America and of the world maybe. Um, I'm fortunate to get to spend time with what is also quite possibly one of the greatest minds in football right now, if we're being honest, today's guest is Sketch. I'm gonna stay. Yeah, dude, I just got an IV, man. But if you don't, if they don't get it in the vein, it can just fill up your arm. Yeah, that's scary. I wouldn't want to do that.

Starting point is 00:03:21 Yeah. When she was pumping me up, she was like putting the pressure on the bag and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. That's when it was like, I'm going to still kind of feel the pressure. It feels, it's whack. It's like, feels weird, but I feel way better. You do?

Starting point is 00:03:33 Yeah. What did you do it for? Just for fun? Yeah. I just was on a flight this morning and I just wanted to, I can feel like dehydrated sometimes. Did you do it on the plane? No, no.

Starting point is 00:03:42 I did it when I got home. Yeah. And there's some babes sometimes that do it, you know? We had a pretty good looking lady pull up. Yeah. I had a dude, uh, last one I did in Vegas, I did it and they took a picture of me. And then they asked like to post it on my social media. And then like, you look at my picture, they posted, I was doused in water.

Starting point is 00:04:00 Cause like, when I get nervous, I just was like pouring water. I poured two bottles on me. Yeah, just to calm down? Sitting like this. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. If I get nervous, I like to feel cold. Oh yeah?

Starting point is 00:04:11 Yeah. Yeah, you're like a, who else is like that? Maybe vampires or something. Maybe Native Americans or whatever. Probably. I don't know what they did to kind of cool off if it was real hot. Yeah. My mom puts that shade in her window, you know, like.

Starting point is 00:04:29 Oh, one of those? Yeah. Yeah. But she doesn't like do water or anything like that. Yeah, curtain. Yeah, yeah. She just puts a curtain up. But yeah, my arm just blew up.

Starting point is 00:04:38 It would look like one of those, you know, like when somebody like a clown blows up one of those balloons. Yeah. It was turning into that, you know. Oh, turning into like a Mickey Mouse hand? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I wanted to twist it off and just give it to a kid. Pixar arm?

Starting point is 00:04:51 That's funny. Sketch, thanks for coming in, man. Thanks for having me. Thanks for hospitality. It's been amazing. I appreciate it, man. Yeah, I was just thinking, what was I thinking about? Can you see pretty good? No. You can't? I can't read pretty good. I can I thinking about? Can you see pretty good?

Starting point is 00:05:05 No. You can't? I can't read pretty good. I can see pretty decent. Can you see me? I can see you, but if you're in a crowd of people, I'd probably have to get up in your face a little bit. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:15 These are more for reading the chat, but I usually don't wear glasses. I don't like going to the doctor or the eye doctor. I don't like things around my eyes, so getting them checked and stuff like that. I was kind of trying to get out of there. So she- Oh, it just makes you nervous, huh? Well, yeah, I just don't like the stuff around my eyes or whatever.

Starting point is 00:05:32 So like- Yeah, eyes are like, they're almost like your butt holes of your face. Yeah. You know, I mean, see they're very, you don't really want, you know, people are gonna come around and you want them to ask first. Yeah, no sticks around them.

Starting point is 00:05:43 Yeah, yeah. Nothing, nothing sharp. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nothing sharp. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But you can see pretty good? No, not really. The ones that I have, like the glasses that were prescription, one's like a scope lens

Starting point is 00:05:57 and then the other one's like way off. I think they're three clicks off because I was just like going, yeah, I'm good, get me out of here, get me out of here. And then I got them in the mail and I was like, oh my God, I can't wear this shit. No way. They're not doing it by mail now, are they? They sent them in. Yeah. Oh wow. Yeah. It's hard to, I mean, get them, you got to get a, have you ever gotten a prescription

Starting point is 00:06:15 form? Uh-uh. Well, you got to go get prescribed form. So if you're like run out of your prescription, you lose your glasses, you got to go like back in. And I was like, I'm not going back in. Yeah. Just mail me what you, I guess, in like, yeah. Mainly whatever you have that's doing pretty well for people. Yeah. That's what I would say.

Starting point is 00:06:31 Yeah. I wonder how far people should even be able to see sometimes, you know? Yeah, should have it limited? Well, it's just like, what are we doing with, like, I guess actually being able to see far is pretty good. Yeah, that's like a super power. I started losing my eyesight like three years ago

Starting point is 00:06:47 pretty fast or whatever. Really? Yeah, I don't know what it was. Probably not drinking enough water I think. Yeah, it feels like they could start cinching up for looking like SpongeBob when he doesn't. Yeah, maybe that's why you're pouring water on your head. That's my butt.

Starting point is 00:07:02 I'm doing it the wrong way though. Yeah, maybe your eyes are saying, look bro. Yeah, okay. We'll work from the outside if that's how you want to do it. Yeah, sometimes I wonder if, I wonder if we only could see like four feet or something, if that would be awesome. Like sharks or crocodiles or something. Yeah. Just moved by vibrations. Yeah. Yeah. And you would meet more people too. You'd meet everybody. Yeah. Everybody you'd be like whoa hey. Hey, nice to meet you here. Nice to meet you here.

Starting point is 00:07:31 There we go. Everything's shoulder to shoulder. Sardine lifestyle there. Yeah, that'd be pretty wild man. That is cool. So do you think your vision went away? Were you sitting too close to the screen or something or what do you think it was? It was that and then, um, I think it was not drinking too much water. And then, um, I, I never got my, apparently squinting makes it worse. So I've been squinting for like the last four years and it's just, I got a stigmatism too or whatever, but like, I think it's still the water and then, uh, I don't know, I probably did something, did something bad and it's karma. No, I'm just kidding.

Starting point is 00:08:04 Yeah. It could have been maybe, you know, I could have something bad and it's karma. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, it could have been maybe. You know, it could have been, yeah, I guess. Yeah, maybe somebody has a voodoo doll. You should go check out your neighbors. I know. I need a, someone probably does have a voodoo doll of me now. They probably have one of you too.

Starting point is 00:08:17 Well. You have one? I don't know. There's definitely been, I've had some things mailed to me, some dolls people have made. Yeah, I mean, I guess we might have one now. Somebody might have one. Yeah, it's working. Yeah, I got some back pain. It's working Yeah, you're not doing good. I'm out What if CJ Strauss starts feeling all the shit that they put if they start needling years up?

Starting point is 00:08:36 That would be worse. I'd have to sacrifice myself for the greater good of our team here He's a great guy though. Yeah, Have you met him? Met him, met him twice. Really? Met him randomly at the Apple store and then met him. We were, when I was in LA, we played a little football. Oh, sweet. I was about to throw up when we were running around. So it's like. Why it just was tough. It was just. I haven't run in a while. You still run much. And is it scary to run if you can't see? That's really brave. Yeah. No, that's, that was the other part, was when he was throwing a ball, I could not see to save my life. Damn, but you still went out for a pass?

Starting point is 00:09:08 Yeah. Wow, bro. Like Batman. Yeah. Batman. That is awesome. That's like Vietnam kind of for you. Kind of, yeah. Less fire. Less fire and traps.

Starting point is 00:09:19 You've really taken over America. Dude, you've kind of become like a, like a stitch in the American flag. I feel like you're like this thing that everybody feels like they can believe in, you know? You're kind of like the young male Helen Keller of like the gaming community. Yeah. You know?

Starting point is 00:09:39 Yeah. I think you're this like new, like Harriet Tubman of humanity in a way. Like, how did that kind of start? Just for my listeners that don't know. Yeah, I think you're this like new like Harriet Tubman of humanity in a way like How did that kind of start just from my listeners that don't know so you're a Streamer or gamer like take me through some of it. I know you're a human being. Yeah So I started I started randomly streaming like last year. So I'm like less than a year in okay No, this was doing it on like okay. And what is streaming mean? So just so because some people won't know

Starting point is 00:10:05 Oh, so like I play video games mostly and now I do more stuff But it was started off just like playing Madden you're playing football and stuff Mm-hmm, and when you stream you're playing it in front of your computer. Yeah playing it Like where's the how are you setting up the stream like I said, I said like desktop It's in my room. Mm-hmm and then I have a webcam and I just turn it on and then Start start going. But then people started, I kind of grew up, blew up a little bit when I was doing the

Starting point is 00:10:30 Madden stuff because I like to do the audibles and stuff. Yeah. When there's like more people in there, I get nervous. So I like to fucking, or sorry for cussing. Yeah. Is that, but blur that out? Yeah, we'll do something. You don't have to.

Starting point is 00:10:43 We'll put a buzzer or we'll put a louder cuss word over it. Yeah. Is that, but blur that out? Yeah, we'll do something. You don't have to. We'll put a buzzer or we'll put a louder cuss word over it. Yeah, I like that idea. Put it on someone else. Shift the blame. Yeah, we'll put a worse, we'll put a worse word over it. We'll throw Papa John saying the N word over it. Oh my God. It's on him.

Starting point is 00:10:58 There we go. Hey, it's good pizza. I know. A great garlic sauce. I'll tell you what, that'll make you shit your pants. I mean, it'll make you, yeah, it'll make you say things you shouldn't. Coming out like hot soup.

Starting point is 00:11:10 Yeah, that's how today went. So you started streaming, and you were on there, you're just playing, and then people start to get a vibe for you, and they're like, oh, this guy is a unique person. Yeah, and I was just like, well, I would do by art motions and stuff like that. Oh yeah, I mean, everywhere, you see it everywhere. There. There's kids some first word so they had a baby the other day

Starting point is 00:11:28 It's first word was what's up, brother? And that was crazy. Yeah, and I think it was a woman or a trans boy Oh my god, and it was like but beautiful, you know babies. Yeah, and so just to see that there's people. Yeah, I mean there's There was like a guy his last words were what's up, yeah, I mean, there's, um, there was like a guy, his last words were, what's up, brother? Oh my gosh. Which is, yeah. That's, that's brutal there.

Starting point is 00:11:49 It died, died for brain rot. I call it like the zombie effect or whatever. Yeah. Just be like, you find a group of people, they get infected. That's just like, they start. Oh, with the what's up, brother? Yeah. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:12:02 That's where it's like, it's a, I don't know if it's a stitch in the flag or if I'm a meme yet. It's like, I gotta stay alone for stitch in the flag or if I'm a meme yet. It's like, I gotta stay alone for a little bit longer. Otherwise I'm a meme. Yeah, that's a good point, huh? Yeah. That's true. Meme is kind of like the coffin you can go in, huh?

Starting point is 00:12:14 Yeah, that's where internet people go to die. Wow. I could be here soon. I'm scheduling everything back to back, making sure we squeeze everything out of this f**king rag here. And so then people just started kind of falling in love with your personality, huh? Yeah, that's what it was. And then people started clipping me, a dude in the army, it

Starting point is 00:12:37 was like, they couldn't have TikTok. He was trying to explain people what I do or whatever. So he was like the first one he would send that and he started posting them. And those clips started doing good and that's kind of what took it off for me. But then... Cause it's a kind of strange, it's a unique ascent. It's almost like you're an astronaut. It's almost like you're an astronaut

Starting point is 00:12:59 but you haven't left the earth. It's like you don't see a lot of people that have just had such a change in their life. Oh, dude, I was doing real estate like a year ago and then... Near-sighted real estate? Yeah, it was... I'll tell you what, my last real estate deal, I crashed on the way there. Really?

Starting point is 00:13:19 I thought I had a green light. I hope that lady doesn't know that she would have sued me for nothing now. Now she can garnish some wages. What's up lawyer? What's up lawyer? We might need a couple. Dude, could you imagine if you're showing me a real estate, you're like, this house is six feet by six feet. It's like as far as you can see. That's probably what it's like. Take them in there. I'm finding everything, finding out everything like they are. You see that there? You see, you see that there? Dude, that's great.

Starting point is 00:13:49 See that would almost be awesome of a real estate agent because then everything's going to be brand new to you all the time. That's the, that's the beauty of it. Walk out there and just, but I did more land. So I never, I never really did houses. So the land was like, everyone good here? You like it? Okay, let's do it.

Starting point is 00:14:05 It was pretty simple, cut and dry. So yeah, you just show up and what, just look at land or whatever? Yeah, I would put stuff on a contract and then I would have to take it to like a committee and they'd approve like the purchase or not. It was more like raw land for like lots and stuff like that for like houses. Okay. Yes, sir. And you're driving a truck though, huh?

Starting point is 00:14:23 To Tehueto Tacoma. Hell yeah. Yeah, sir. And you're driving a truck though, huh? To wait with the coma. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I was and then I have a second one now because that first one got destroyed. I'll tell you what, it's a safe car though. That lady hit me, she was hauling ass. She minked it, huh?

Starting point is 00:14:37 45. Yeah, that's why you gotta watch the A-Gap, man. You gotta catch that Mike Linebacker. Exactly, it was like a blind side there. I was relaxed there. I had no clue it was coming. Dang, bro. Yeah, because you gotta buy land from a dude in a truck.

Starting point is 00:14:54 If a dude rolls up in a Camry or whatever, I ain't buying your fucking land, bro. That's like selling crypto there. It's a scam there. Yeah, that's bad. Bro, if some dude rolls up in a Fiat or a Mini Cooper, I ain't buying land. No, no way. If he's got a squad to get in his car, no way.

Starting point is 00:15:14 Unless he's a midget or something. Dude, I used to have a little person that was a... And some people say midget. I think midget is actually French, I think, but... Midget's French for keychain. Is it? No, I think, but. Midgets French for key chain. Is it? No, I'm just kidding. Oh, damn.

Starting point is 00:15:27 Put them in your pocket. Well, it'd be great if you had a little person just hold your keys all the time. Yeah, that's a good business plan. You gotta go to Ireland for them right here. That would be great. Or if he wore them on his earrings, you know? Oh yeah, like a minion.

Starting point is 00:15:40 Yeah. Like a, this pick will be minions. And then you just like brought him up to the door and he was just ear height of like most door, like locks. Yeah. Oh, that'd be great. Well, the good thing is like, they'd probably harder to get robbed from a midget.

Starting point is 00:15:54 So it's probably a good thing for a manager. Well, we had a little person at night, he was our roommate and we would watch him, we would all get together and have kind of have a beer or whatever and watch him run and jump in a bed at night. Oh my gosh. That's an Olympic sport there. Slingshot him.

Starting point is 00:16:10 Yeah. It was pretty crazy. No, he never wanted any help. He was very much like a, you know, he was kind of like a Jackie Robinson of little people. That's awesome. Like an independent woman. Yeah. He wanted to do it.

Starting point is 00:16:24 Yeah. Like very Shania Twain independent woman. Yeah, he wanted to do it on, yeah, like a very Shania Twain type of vibe. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, he was like the littlest dixie chick. He wanted to do it his own way. Oh yeah. I'll tell you what, they got a monitor on. Same here. Yeah, same here. Same size brains. Is that true? I think so. They're little people, little brains might go together, but I've met some, they're pretty smart.

Starting point is 00:16:48 They all are smart. Yeah, I'm trying to think if you have less, I think they must be just the same amount of smart because my friend Brad is a little person and he seems very smart. Let me see, almost all people with dysproportions, dwarfism have normal intellectual capacities. Rare exceptions are usually the result of a secondary factor such as excess fluid around the brain,

Starting point is 00:17:10 which is the opposite of what you have. Yeah, lots of extra space. Yeah, so they're really, I guess if they got too much water on them, you know. Well, it's water weight that would, it's always the water weight that gets to you. Maybe they need an IV. Yeah. Well, you get them,, it's water weight that would, it's always the water weight that gets to you. Maybe they need an IV. Yeah. Well, you get them, maybe that's, maybe that's how they get bigger. Oh, an IV would be a lot.

Starting point is 00:17:31 Kind of like those things you put in the water and then they grow and get bigger like that? Oh, like those little, um, yeah, what are the things like a little dragon or something like a sponge? Yeah. Yeah. Put them in the water and get bigger. I like that. They had a, um, they had a movie called bigger. I like that. They had a

Starting point is 00:17:48 They had a movie called Gremlins and that's what they did on there They it was like these kind of bad animals and they've just been misbehaving I guess in the community and Then they put water on them and they turn just really bad This Yoda. Yeah, this is like a it's almost like a dirty little Yoda. It's like Yoda's little son That got busted probably selling Trank or whatever doing some low-key bad shit Doing bad shit all the time. Yeah, just like doing that gas station salvia, whatever that stuff is, you know Yeah, taking that horny goat. We don't mess with your head there Yeah, and so yeah, they just ended up doing real well But um, but yeah, but that was a movie When they added water on him, it went bad.

Starting point is 00:18:26 Maybe they live longer, like Yoda. Oh, yeah. That's another thing. Yeah, I wonder, I don't know. But Sketch, man, good to see you. So you have this thing that kind of happens in your life, because it's kind of fascinating, dude. It's just like such a rare, it's just a, you know,

Starting point is 00:18:46 it's just a unique thing. How have you kind of felt like that people recognize you more and stuff? Is it, does some parts of it get scary? Does it all feel kind of exciting? It's cool, it can get like overwhelming, but it's more of like, I take everything a day at a time right now.

Starting point is 00:19:00 It's just like, if I think of everything, we're like, that's why like's like, just roll with the punches. Keep everything, you know, keep the schedule busy, but at the same time, don't worry about the next thing. Just focus on, you know, drink water right now. Yeah. Yeah, like this is cool here.

Starting point is 00:19:20 Yeah. Yeah, I know this is awesome. Yeah, man, well like- New territory for me, though. Is it, yeah. Everything is, everything's like, I don't know, I feel like a is awesome. Yeah, man. New territory for me, though. Is it? Everything is. Everything is like, I don't know, I feel like a newborn baby. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:29 It's like, yeah, walking around and people saying my stuff or I've caught a couple people doing it on Broadway. And then you just, I rolled down the window, it's like, what's up, brother? Like what? Whoa. I mean, dude, 20 years from now from now you could run that could be your campaigns like what's up brother could literally win the presidency that's just kind of how crazy the world is these days. I know I need to find a VP. Yeah. I don't know

Starting point is 00:19:54 who would be. I think. You want to be on that ticket? Yeah. I mean I think. Will you be president or be vice president? No. No? You don't want power? I want, no, I want to be the guy in the background who's like, kind of like, like goes like this in the background, but then gets to go and chill and kind of vape or whatever and talk to some ladies and, you know, hope for the best. That's a way to do it there. Yeah. Hang low and let it ride. There we go.

Starting point is 00:20:19 Just ride it like a wave. I feel like I'm in a swimming pool right now. This episode is sponsored by PrizePix. Do you love firing on sports? Well, PrizePix is the best daily fantasy sports app for you. You can fire on all your favorite sports, like the NBA, UFC, NFL, and many more. Instead of choosing teams, you choose individual players. That's what I love about prize picks.

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Starting point is 00:22:42 at Shopify.com slash Theo, all lowercase. Just go to Shopify.com slash T-H-E-O, all lowercase. Now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash Theo. So what, let me learn a little bit more about you, man. What like were your folks like? My folks, my loving parents, best parents I could ask for.

Starting point is 00:23:08 Pretty decent, pretty tall? No, they're pretty short. I got headed to short stick at the family. My grandpa was over six, or like six one, so. And what happened, he just died? Wait, he died six one, but he didn't pass down anything good. Rest in peace, Grandpa.

Starting point is 00:23:25 Great God. Was he? Yeah. He took it all with him though, it sounds like. He did. Yeah, he took the good blessings. He left behind a washing machine and a couple other things. That's not bad.

Starting point is 00:23:36 Tyson. Yeah, huh? Can't complain. Is it really? No, I don't know. It went to my parents. Oh, damn. I don't think I got anything. I didn't want anything

Starting point is 00:23:46 It's a weird thing to want. Yeah, I think I don't know if it's weird to want something for your grandparents I don't know. We're talking and thinking so fast. It's hard to know what I'm talking about But so what is your mom do for work my mom she works with my dad and my dad does home building Oh, really? Yeah, so I would buy the land for them. And then like, we would approve it through like a committee or whatever. And then that's how I would transact. Oh, I see. So you, it was a family business.

Starting point is 00:24:13 Yeah, sir. And then when like, so when I, I stopped, uh, it slowed down in 2023 from interest rates and that's when I was like, ah, fuck it, I'll just start streaming. And, uh, well not like to make money more, just like, I have a free time. I had a pretty easy schedule with them. I didn't make a lot of money, but it was like, it was chill, it was like enough to where it's like, just go in, I mean, you're not buying land or you are,

Starting point is 00:24:36 so it's like, work from home. I might've got some free dollars from my dad on that one. I'll tell you what, you probably shouldn't let anyone work from home, pops. Like robbing them blind. No, check your pockets. Yeah, that's a horrible idea to let somebody work from home, dude.

Starting point is 00:24:57 That's a, if it's your own family member too, because they're just working from home, they're not doing nothing. Oh yeah, and my boss wasn't a part of that family. So it's like, who's gonna, who's gonna call me in? I was like, I feel like I should tell someone, but I'm loving life right now. It's a good thing that I found a new job. You're like, I feel like it's 11 a.m. I'm gonna take a nap early. Oh yeah. But that's probably what time I was waking up.

Starting point is 00:25:23 Wow. Wake up, pop on stream, sending out. I probably got two emails probably what time I was waking up. Wow. Wake up, pop on stream, send in, I probably got two emails a day when I was working. Oh so very, it was very easy. It was calm waters for you guys huh? It was uh, yeah I was just floating, floating down the river. And what were some of the emails you would get like would it be people complaining like hey there's not enough land here or there's quicksand out here, whitey or something like that. There was, I had, I made some bad purchases before I bought some stuff

Starting point is 00:25:49 without looking at it. That's not, and then they go, Oh, there's an easement on it. I was like, Oh shit. It's like, you didn't see that either. I've had some good ones and some bad ones, some ugly babies. You know, it's not, they're still babies. That's exactly, exactly. It's just, it's land regardless. Hey, and once you. Oh yeah. It's okay. Yeah. You know, it's not- Hey, they're still babies.

Starting point is 00:26:06 That's exactly. Exactly. It's land regardless. Hey, and once you're, yeah, you still gotta breastfeed them, brother. Yeah. Look at that. Lactose intolerant, but I'll take one for the team. So what kind of land was, what was the land you would go, so what would you do with the

Starting point is 00:26:21 land? So it was like raw land and we were just like putting, we would spec houses on it. So like when I was doing it in 2020, like your interest rates dropped, the man was up cause he had a housing boom and builders were like looking to replace empty inventory. And it was, uh, I was overbidding on a lot of the shit, like, uh, I mean, from a thousand, like up to 10, 15,000, like that was the only way to get shit on our contract. Oh, yeah I had some good we had some good sales. I mean like it was but We had some good we had some good action on it. Yeah. Yeah, you couldn't go wrong in 2020. It was pretty

Starting point is 00:27:00 It was just like picking up stuff off the ground, but overbid How do you even why who would let you bid, who would, who would let you bid on land when this is the, is the catch phrase? That's why I worked from home. They didn't want to see me. Did the CFO not love me? When they were looking for, looking for better margins, it was the land was fucking them. Sorry for cussing, but.

Starting point is 00:27:23 Look man, that's what they get bro. That's what happens. That's what happens when you don't... You give a big dog a little leash, now he's gonna fuck around, you know what I mean? Oh yeah, I mean that's business 101. Oh yeah, they're VD checks and balances, but it's a small office, so you know, just go to mom. Mom, come on, brother. We've overbid mom. What about, so your dad was a, like a prospector kind of? Um, like more like he would, like he would, what's a prospector, like a? I think that's somebody actually that looks for gold,

Starting point is 00:28:00 so he wasn't that, he was more like a guy, that a developer kind of yes sir we did we did development and then we did home building so like the stuff that I did was more like the home buildings on yeah he started developing more in the past year but the yeah I was like pretty much pretty pretty low-key like pretty low lift stuff yeah but um yeah yeah two emails. That's pretty calm. I feel like oh, yeah And then you just respond to him within 24 hours. That's another loophole there 48 hours and we I would text back or like my emails are pretty yet. Good morning one sentence. Thank you

Starting point is 00:28:40 Yeah, there we go. No, no tag there. No number on there. That's how I like to roll. Yeah, I think mystery is a part of business that's missing these days. Yeah. You know, be vague. Don't give the info. Yeah. You gotta keep your cards close to the vest. Don't let them see it. Make them want you. Oh yeah. Yeah. To do something.

Starting point is 00:29:01 Yeah. Yeah. That's what I like to do there. Yeah. Lead them on. Yeah. That's a great like to do there. Yeah. Lead them on. Yeah, that's a great idea. And so you were just losing your eyesight, you're at home, you're, and you're living

Starting point is 00:29:12 at home? Oh, that was at my house. Okay. Like I don't own the house, but I live with my roommate, which is one of my childhood friends. Okay. And then. Cooper?

Starting point is 00:29:22 No, what's his name? Cooper. Yeah. Cooper, great guy. He, yeah, he's a liquor salesman, so we got a pretty good, he's the plug there. Yeah. And does he drink a lot, huh? He might have a problem. No, I'm just kidding. He's a good guy.

Starting point is 00:29:34 Yeah. He- Hey, RIP. Rest in peace, Booper. Booper. He's about to start streaming. Is he? We're about to start a collective.

Starting point is 00:29:45 Okay, so what is that? So a collective, so, well, so take me, let me go back a little bit. So how do you make money on streaming? The ad revenue and subs. So like the ad revenue is like from how many viewers you have and all that stuff, and then how long you're doing it all matters.

Starting point is 00:30:01 But I do that in YouTube, but I don't stream that much. I stream like four times a month right now. So it's like pretty, because I just, I like, I make enough money where it's like cool and all that stuff, but it's also like, I like to do stuff that's fun and like, still like doing stuff like this or going to UFC 300 and stuff like that. Like that, that's what I like to do.

Starting point is 00:30:23 Yeah. Dude, that was so great. Yeah, that's where I met you. I was that power slab. Yeah, that was that was awesome Yeah, it's so it's so interesting in there. What did you think of it? Oh, I loved it Um, I definitely would go again. Yeah. Yeah, they were knocking that shit out of each other but I don't know if I would go up there and hold that stick behind my back and Dry on each other's hands out and stuff like slapping them with a freaking pan or some shit. Yeah, I think for some reason, and I wish they told you why the guys were upset with each other.

Starting point is 00:30:52 That's the part that I feel like as an audience, it would be awesome. Oh, I know. They need to add like the street beef aspect of it. Yeah. I had one of the dudes from the slapbox, I was going for one of them and then the other side is like a ring guy or whatever who was with him Was like fuck fuck off sketch. He's yelling at me when I was going for the other guy Oh, I saw you cheer really getting into it for one guy. Did it was that was a good fight? Yeah, that dude knocked out the favorite. He's like minus two thousand or something. Yeah, those guys are warriors

Starting point is 00:31:23 I would tell you what I would not catch me dead or alive doing that. You know, I think there's something to me about it. One thing that I think is really interesting, I noticed it this time. I think there's this element of like, if you survive the slap, that the gods are in your favor. You know, there's this feeling of like, like the gods want me to keep going. Yeah. I started to kind of notice that amongst some of the guys, like that, that was one

Starting point is 00:31:52 of the things that must keep some of them, like, must really be like a high energy, like after the slap. Yeah. They go back to the court and they're not talking to the guy. They're just praying. Yeah. Pray for rain, brother. Pray for rain.

Starting point is 00:32:09 Yeah. That would be a shitty situation to be in they have good snacks there, too Do you have any of the snacks in the back bussing? Yeah bussing and They had some cute chicks there That's some kind of wild guys and stuff there. I thought oh, yeah, you know is it good It was a good crowd good crew. I loved it. I would do it again. Yeah, how often is that your first one? Or you've gone to my second one second one. Yeah And it's growing on me. Yeah, it's a I'm waiting for them to like start opening up the stands or whatever for like You know where they host like host more people and stuff. I see how that does it. It'd be interesting Yeah, it's a limit. They only have maybe like 400 people in there.

Starting point is 00:32:46 Yeah, and then it's also like, I mean, like they're only, if they're playing like three rounds, it's like six laps if everyone stands up. So it's pretty, pretty chop chop. So I imagine that's what they're trying to find out what it... Oh, like almost still experimenting. Yeah, it still feels, it has an underground kind of vibe to it, doesn't it? Yeah, like street fight. We were at a street fight. Yeah, it really does. It really does feel like a lot of underground. I didn't think about that.

Starting point is 00:33:09 But yeah, there was like some pro-rest. There was the champion, Damien Priest, I think was there. Oh yeah. Yeah, I mean, he's just definitely interesting. And watching those guys come up and then people are just snacking and then they look and then some guy like just eviscerate somebody. Yeah, I love that feeling Yeah, love the feeling it was great watching what did you ever play any combat sports anything like that?

Starting point is 00:33:32 Or mmm. What did I play? Uh, oh, I've done like just like train some like Jiu-jitsu, but I've never fought in a ju in a fight. Yeah, like a MMA fight or anything Oh, no no but yeah I didn't play I played basketball in high school that was about it you're a basketball player I get taller than I thought you were really yeah maybe it's the TV I'm watching on my eyesight but you you're way tall how tall are you six I could tell you anything I'm 7'4 oh yeah catch me catch me slipping here so I hope someone doesn't find out that I can't read or not read but can't see Oh yeah, you're gonna catch me slipping here.

Starting point is 00:34:05 I hope someone doesn't find out that I can't read. Or not read, but can't see. Because then it's those contracts, I can start getting longer. Sign me to give away some organs. I'm down one right now. Or two. I don't have an appendix or a missing one kidney. Are you really?

Starting point is 00:34:22 Yeah. Well dude, if you're missing a kidney, that's probably why. It has to be something with your eyesight, huh? Yeah. Can you have one kidney. Are you really? Yeah. And well dude if you're missing a kidney, that's probably why it has to be something with your eyesight Huh? Yeah, you have no kidney and see very good. Will you pull that up? That's a that actually might be we might find out the problem here Kidney and um Yeah, our kidney and eyes related the kidney and the eyes have a lot in common on a physiological level as a result of the strong link between these two organs, the causes for kidney and eye diseases are the same in many cases.

Starting point is 00:34:52 Wow. And so what happened to your first year, original kidney? I was just bored without one. No way. Bored without one. Wow. Mine is minus 250,000 when I was born. That's how much a kidney costs.

Starting point is 00:35:04 I looked it up the other day. Is it? 250. Gosh. Quarter mill, quarter ticket there. Would you get one if we could get you one? Oh, yeah, I would take one. You would?

Starting point is 00:35:15 I would take one. If they don't need it or something, yeah, I would like to have two. I don't know if I have one mega one or if there's just a blank spot in the middle of my gut. Or they're back here. Yeah, I don't know if I have one mega one or if there's just a blank spot in the middle of my gut. Or they're back here. Yeah, I don't know. Does it feel any different than the other side or whatever? Sometimes if I don't drink water, it hurts to pee, but I don't know if that's my kidney or my wiener. You gotta get some water. But we gotta get you some water, man. Somebody's got to. I've been drinking all day. I've been working on it.

Starting point is 00:35:46 I'm trying to fix these things. Get some oil in the car. It's like driving a car without oil. My fucking brain's got black smoke in it right now. I'm about to freaking pass out. Oh my gosh, bro. We're gonna need to have AAA pull up in here, dude. Bro, you gotta, yeah, we gotta get some water in you. Um, what did you play?

Starting point is 00:36:09 But I saw you playing athletics and um, I saw you playing football online. Yeah, I played football I played football, but I went to like a private school for a year and I played there and so it's all whites Oh, yeah, it was it was definitely it was like a lot of playing the wide receivers were dual sport athletes and soccer. So it was like pretty easy. 120 pound wide receivers, like throwing them around. That was, I was pretty thick back then. I was like two oh five when I was in. Really?

Starting point is 00:36:38 So you were lifting a lot of weights. Yeah. Oh, and it went so well, my parents, well, I have like a thing where like, if, well, especially during school, I was like, if, well, especially during school, I was like, if they ever gave me, like when I was younger, I would go and like, if they gave, put their card on a lunch line, we'd have Chick-fil-A and stuff in there. So I'd get like two or three Chick-fil-A sandwiches. They cut me off. And then like fast forward, went to private school. Part of it is like the meal plan or whatever. I took advantage of it like no other.

Starting point is 00:37:07 Why they just, they have a lot more unlimited meal kind of style? It's just like, uh, yo, if I wouldn't pack my lunch really. So if I, if I would just, I would just show up kind of hungry and then fucking kind of kind of meal around like a raccoon between my friends. When I was in middle school, there's this one kid named Bryce, but he would, he was a nice guy, but if you asked him nicely enough, he'd buy you a chicken sandwich every day.

Starting point is 00:37:33 Really? Yeah. Every day? Every day. Mr., I don't, Bryce C. He probably, if he ever sees this, thank you, Bryce C. We'll drop his last name. Yeah, Bryce, thank you.

Starting point is 00:37:46 I owe you Chick-fil-A, brother. For a long time, it sounds like. Oh yeah, I was getting a- How many meals did you pull off of that fella? They had probably three sandwiches a week at least. 30 weeks, and it was probably over the course of five years or four years. I mean, that's 450 sandwiches, man

Starting point is 00:38:05 I feel bad now. I probably owned some chicken minis Something I'm I want my old chicken a whole farm here Now I heard the chicken that chick-fil-a is kind of fucked up so I can't get him back the right way Sorry for cussing but no it there's a lot of people what happened to the chicken at chick-fil-a Let's bring that up and yeah, we'll have to do something nice for Bryce man Maybe we'll see if we can't get something sent over to him. You have his address or anything? Oh, I have no clue. I know he's a he's a triplet. So uh, oh We hit one of the three. It's more of his pops that I uh, well, he's a great guy, but I owe his pops

Starting point is 00:38:43 His pops wiener stutters, okay Three of the same one of these one of these it just dangles a little bit Well, it's just anybody who's making three of the same kid bro. Like we get it. Oh, yeah quiet down three-headed dragon. Yeah Yeah, I don't believe in twins and triplets right where I, if people was twins, it would make them fight until one of them won, you know? And that was the one that everybody talked to. Yeah. What does it say? Citing diminishing chickens by Chick-fil-A

Starting point is 00:39:14 will back off its pledge never to serve chicken that was fed antibiotics. Wow. So instead it will embrace a looser industry standard, no antibiotics important to human medicine. So I guess it can't have like chicken that's on like, I guess a Z-Pak or whatever. Or, uh.

Starting point is 00:39:31 Some of those chickens probably on Xanax now, it's 2020, 2024 now. Well, especially some of the flooding in that area. I remember when it flooded in our area and my buddy's mom got on pills after that and quit working. So yeah, I'm sure a lot of this chicken is. My buddy's mom got on pills after that and quit working. So yeah, I'm sure a lot of this chicken is... Something to do with the pills. They're probably on Adderall now.

Starting point is 00:39:52 That's probably why they're so skinny. They're all out there. Everyone thinks chickens are stupid. They're just wired to shit. They're on 50 milligrams of good stuff there. Oh, they'll make an egg in eight minutes now. Oh yeah, they'll cook it for you too. They'll fucking start, put it on the grill for you.

Starting point is 00:40:11 How do you want it? How do you want it, brother? Start flipping that thing. Oh, they're serving it a lot. Yeah, I think that's true. If a chicken's on Adderall, it could serve that egg anyway. They want, why don't we cut out the middleman of the chef and get a chicken?

Starting point is 00:40:25 to serve the Egg ready to order. I like that idea. It's uh, it's more probably humane there I don't care actually good, but I eat regs regardless. I eat a lot of meat do you well this would save you time I mean, I think imagine you a chicken can do that boil or Scramble would be crazy, I guess. They've got to be able to know how to boil water there. They've been on earth for as long as we have, so it's pretty...

Starting point is 00:40:55 But if we could heat their bodies up enough in a safe environment where they don't pass away, but they're able to serve. I like that idea. We buy like a YMCA with a sauna already in there, put them in the sauna, let them work out, let them use the equipment, maybe give them some library books. I think if we had like Ted Talks going 24 seven, they'd probably start gaining some information there.

Starting point is 00:41:19 Oh, I think there's no way they're not gonna pick things up. Oh, they probably pick stuff up without us knowing. Yeah, yeah. Little crazy little claws there. Oh, I can only imagine if I were a little fucking chicken. That's the thing about chicken, they're just like. That's how they, they're like that,

Starting point is 00:41:37 then when they're on the Adderall, it's like. Mm. When it turns into more like a Humminbird, mm. That's all it is. They probably, that's a good business plan there. We need to trademark that stuff before it's gone. Yeah, I'm sure it'll be gone. The second somebody hears this, it's already gone.

Starting point is 00:41:55 That's the problem with today. Yeah, it's gonna be like the, I forget the name of it, but probably a war crime to give chickens amphetamines. Well, it's just sad that Chick-fil-A is resorting But probably a war crime to give chickens amphetamines. Well, it's just sad that Chick-fil-A is resorting to getting this bootleg chicken. And a lot of the chicken has probably been through, has complex trauma. It's probably, who knows where it's from,

Starting point is 00:42:16 probably it could be Memphis, it could be East St. Louis. Who knows where a lot of these animals are coming from now? Yeah, from all over, all over the world. Chicago too. Oh yeah. I mean just some of the, us choosing to have different chicken, that's going to change everybody. That's going to change marriages. There are marriages out there that are based solely on the fact that twice a week, they eat Chick-fil-A together. That's true. My aunt actually got proposed to in a Canes, in a Canes box. She did not like that idea.

Starting point is 00:42:50 In a Canes, in the side of a Canes? Opened it up. It was on the Texas toast. No way. No, just wait. It was the worst idea. Forever combo? It was a short marriage though.

Starting point is 00:43:02 She's reburied now. Lovey lady. Is she? Yeah. Yes, yeah yes sir happy and you know yeah I mean I yeah I think where were you would you do it at a Cain's what is the best fast food or quick dining as they like to say place to get married at you think is chili's count is chili's fast no that's not fast enough. That's high class dining past. I mean, it's good food.

Starting point is 00:43:29 If you can get liquor there, it probably doesn't count. Well, no, Chili's is great. I think it's just a lot. Chili's is a place you can meet women easily, I think. Oh yeah. So I think if it's a place you can probably easily meet women, then it's not applicable for this. Chili's cutter reminds me of,

Starting point is 00:43:44 this is my first time going on Broadway, but it's like, I see two groups of people. It's either super young chicks or super old chicks. It's like the young chicks are partying, the older people are like going to war museums or something. Like that's how chick-fil-a is at the bar, or not the Chilly's is at the bar. It's a mixed bag out there.

Starting point is 00:44:03 Chilly's is a great place to go and back to in your hometown and make love to someone that you didn't get to talk to in high school. Rekindle a flame there. Two for 20, two for 20, get it rolling. You know, getting, getting out with it. I'll tell you what you ever made love after happen mozzarella sticks. Oh, it just sits in you. It's like a gumball machine. You got to shake me and

Starting point is 00:44:27 twist me to get that shit out of me, brother. Yeah, that's love, man. I wonder how many relationships have been started at some of these different types of food chains. Chill. Oh, couples are getting engaged at Chili's. Okay, so I guess it's a thing now. Oh, it is? Oh, that's good actually because, yeah, because sometimes it's so hard to decide where to get engaged at, and a lot of public parks and everything are very dangerous now. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:44:54 And so, yeah, there's some couples right there getting engaged. Where would you get engaged? I think I'd go old school. I'd go inside of a McDonald's. That's good. That's a good start. Maybe the drive-through. Think about it in the drive-through. Go in when you.

Starting point is 00:45:13 Yeah. Don't give her much time that way. If you pop out from behind the drive-through sign, and she's like, yeah, I would like a Mick whatever. Yeah. And you have a proposal with the shit traps. Yeah. And you'd be like, Oh, do you have a proposal with the shit traps. Yeah, and you'd be like,

Starting point is 00:45:25 oh, do you want this Mick husband? You pop out from behind there. That's that Chick-fil-A chicken. Chick-fil-A chicken make you make some irrational decisions now. Yeah, or you want this Mick prenup and you just roll out from behind. It's on the receipt.

Starting point is 00:45:39 It's on the receipt, lady. Lovely lady, though. Maybe a Waffle House. I bet Waffle House got a, that's got a loyal crowd there. It's like Cracker Barrel. Yeah, Waffle House, I Waffle House that's got a loyal crown there it's like Cracker Barrel yeah Waffle House I think people cheer you on as well they're gonna be like we want this love we want these MFers somebody would yell MFers or even queers at you sometimes yeah we can bleep that out but

Starting point is 00:45:59 people will yell yeah we love these queers even if it's straight people get married yeah oh here's one right here We can actually watch this one. Look at look at this Wolf house is a Valentine's Day tradition for John and Julie. Oh, that's cute. Uh, that is cute Taking notes And I just have one question. Will you marry me? Wow. Oh, he put it on a waffle. You guys can't see, but the waiter, who's a male waiter at Waffle House,

Starting point is 00:46:36 which you don't even see very often, which you have to pay extra to get, brought it over and it was a ring, a wedding ring, opened in a box on a waffle. That is a way to do it there. Oh, put it was a ring, a wedding ring, opened in a box on a waffle. That is a way to do it there. Oh, put it to think, you're gonna want that waffle a little bit, so you're gonna say yes just to get a little bit ahead of that waffle.

Starting point is 00:46:55 Yeah, you either gotta eat it or you gotta frame it or something, probably turn it into something crazy. Yeah, where would you go, you think? I guess chilies, that's a good answer, huh? Chilies, I like chilies, that's a good answer, huh? Chili's I like chilies. Maybe, uh, I don't know. I got engaged last weekend at Vegas. So maybe do that again.

Starting point is 00:47:13 And you got really engaged. It, uh, it was, I don't know if it's real yet, but it's, uh, we did get married. Oh, she was offered acceptance. It's a legal, legal contract. I'm going to, I'll find out how much money she makes. I'll bring up her ass. I need a cut of that Snapchat, please. And is she's a Snapchat artist or something?

Starting point is 00:47:32 No fitness, fitness lady. Wow. Yep. And where'd you meet her online? Um, my brother set me up, Nick Narasina. Oh yeah. I met Nick. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:47:41 I met him at the fight. He sent you up with a gown. Yeah, that's what, uh, that's what we did it the day before. She. I met him at the fight. Did he take you up with the gown? Yeah, that's what we did it. Oh wow. The day before. She wasn't with me at the fight, so things are rough sledding, rough sledding. Bad start out the gate.

Starting point is 00:47:53 Yeah, a lot of turbulence. Like Captain Sully, I hit a geese take off. We're in the water, someone come get us. Wow. But it's, you know, loving the married life. Yeah, it seems like it, man. Yeah, because that's a big challenge, dude, I think is getting married and being willing to be married.

Starting point is 00:48:17 You know, I've had friends that get married and then they'll come over the next day and they'll be like, dude, I'm, fuck. They'll be like, fuck, man, I'm married, you know? Yeah, I can't, that's why I can't, I don't like anything long-term. Yeah. Keep everything month to month,

Starting point is 00:48:28 month to month contract, that's probably, that's another business idea there. This heart is month to month. Yeah, exactly. Hmm. You know, I can love you as long as I can think. Yeah, I can love you as long as this electric bill lasts. Oh yeah, yeah, love you as long as it takes me to get to you.

Starting point is 00:48:46 By foot, by land or sea. Oh, I saw in Vegas you got a Lamborghini. Did you really get that? I did get a Lamborghini. No way. I'll tell you what, it looks pretty there. Oh, that's beautiful. Steve is such a nice guy.

Starting point is 00:48:59 Oh, I love Steve. He was awesome. He's built with such a unique joy inside of him. Yeah, he's a great person to be around. He was awesome. He's built with such a unique joy inside of him. Yeah. He's a great person to be around. He is. Yeah. It literally is like being around the sun kind of. Yeah. It's like the sun just is like hanging out with you.

Starting point is 00:49:12 Radiate, you get positive energy off him. Always good vibes. He surprised you with this? We walked outside to Red Rock and it was sitting out there. I had no clue what was going on. Have you driven it at all? Not yet. It's actually, it's coming from North Carolina and it's going to be in Houston when I get

Starting point is 00:49:31 back. No way. Yeah. Like what do you even do with the Lamborghini then if you, cause if you get home, where are you going to? I'm putting it in my garage. The Houston has a lot of potholes, so if I fuck up that, a rim or a fender, I don't know if I'm showing up the cash for that thing

Starting point is 00:49:46 I'll just have a fucked up sports car in there. It'll look cool though. I think it does I'll just leave the garage open 24-7. Yeah, try to get the hot dog walkers. You want to see something? You want to see some horses? Yeah, if you just sit in there and floor it did that a couple times it was cool Yeah, if you just sit in there and floor it. Oh, we did that a couple times. It was cool. Yeah, dude, we had a guy that used to ride, they had these girls by us that were twins, I think, or something was wrong with one of them. But they would sit on the back of this Mustang, it was a convertible, and this guy would always drive around like he was cool. And then he one time floored it and they both fell off of the back. Oh my God. Yeah. It's like those people that do the wheelored it and they both fell off. Oh my God.

Starting point is 00:50:25 It's like those people that do the wheelies on, on quads and fall off. Or yeah, that's a dangerous game there. Yeah. Yeah. It's a little bit risky, man. Yeah. But yeah, new car ownership is definitely interesting, but a car like that, you can't even hide anywhere, Scott.

Starting point is 00:50:39 Oh yeah. I'll tell you that the insurance ain't going to be cheap, brother. Not after my first crash too. What's up, brother? These rates, brother. They're like, oh, you totaled a Tacoma. What is the next thing you want on your ticket? It's a, it's a Lamborghini, sir.

Starting point is 00:50:55 Aviator Lamborghini. Look at that thing. It's got wings on it. Big uptick, huh? I know I'm going into, to, I'll probably write it, write it a couple of times. We're keeping it in the neighborhood, just Sunday drive. Yeah, Sunday drive, that's the move.

Starting point is 00:51:11 Yeah. Ooh, you could do last laps for like women, like senior citizen women that are, like have dementia or whatever. Oh yeah. They have that where somebody will come and take them in a, like on a last lap or whatever. Oh yeah, like a

Starting point is 00:51:26 Like a NASCAR little little do around. Yeah, just something, you know, just so that yeah So they can feel that you know, just just feel fun, you know, hang their head on the window or whatever You see the Sun again Talk them away in those houses Just one last orbit around the neighborhood. You gotta go through an airlock to get to Grandma. It's usually not a good sign. Yeah, one last run through the wind before the Lord brings them home. There's one of it right there. Look at that. Last lap. 83-year-old man's birthday wish to ride in a Lamborghini comes true.

Starting point is 00:52:02 Dude, you could do this for so many people. I would do that. I'll have prunes and oranges and cottage cheese in there for them. All that stuff. And they can hang their head out the window too. I think it makes them feel good too. I think that would be wonderful, man. But the only thing about a yellow Lamborghini is it's also a think it's kind of like a gay beacon or whatever. Oh, yeah. So it's definitely going to attract a like a gay beacon or whatever. So it's definitely gonna attract a lot of gay men out there. Hey, take any eyeballs.

Starting point is 00:52:31 The purpose is for attention here. That's it, you gotta take what you can get. Look at this, they're taking pictures of the car. They probably got some hot friends. There we go. Everything works out there. Good thing it's black too. It's black?

Starting point is 00:52:46 Yeah, it's gonna be. Oh, I thought it was yellow. So we took a picture with that one and then he's sending me one. Oh, so the one you're getting is black. All black, brother. Yeah, because yellow is, look at there, you go right there and there's a young man already sitting on that one. Shirtless. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:53:00 And that guy is looking to meet another guy probably. Maybe not, I'm not saying that. Probably got tape over his nipples. Probably. Chafing. Chafing. Because yeah, dude, I remember the first time we had a gay guy in our neighborhood or a dude, he said, he told us he was an EMT or whatever.

Starting point is 00:53:17 And he had me and my buddies doing like, um, CPR on each other, right? Practice. And well, then there was a fire in our neighborhood and somebody got burned and so somebody's like, we gotta run over to Mr. Gary's house, he's an EMT, he can help. And somebody's like, that dude's not an EMT dude, he's just a gay dude that's always perfect on people.

Starting point is 00:53:38 And we're like, aw shit. Oh my gosh, that's pretty, that's- Well then what about these certificates he gave us for CPR? You got your full certified there. These bitches aren't worth anything. You gave him more than lips, you gave him a little tongue in there, brother.

Starting point is 00:53:51 He's trying to breathe. I didn't do anything. This one kid, William, he was a fucking weirdo. But yeah, we shouldn't have been over there, but it doesn't matter. But he ended up having a vehicle like that. And this other guy named Big Roy would always play Navy with us at his house.

Starting point is 00:54:05 He had one of those big bathtubs. Yeah? Oh, what? A bathtub? And we would play Navy over there. There you go. You got underwater torpedoes. Look, hey look.

Starting point is 00:54:16 Dude, it was just, yeah, I was just like, I was barely enlisted, so. You were just part time? Coast Guard, I think that is. Coast guard he's almost in there. You never left the port. I was in active duty. There you go helicopter ride. He's swinging that thing around. What else can we talk about? I'll take you for a ride. Are you gonna drive it? I got a, well, my first two days are scheduled already. Got some ladies. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:54:48 One of the ladies I'm with right now. Yeah? Oh, look at this. Oh, she's beautiful. Beautiful ladies. Look at this, hard at work. Her name is? We'll just not say it.

Starting point is 00:54:58 BG. BG, yeah. There we go. That's a, yeah, that's a good name. And I think she seems like a nice person She is a nice person. Yeah, tell you what I'm fucking light-headed. I ate like a bird yesterday Eat with her. I was trying not to eat too much and Yeah, yeah, it was great. And do you like yeah, what's that?

Starting point is 00:55:20 Like now cuz you're meeting more ladies and stuff more ladies get to see you Yeah, has that been kind of nerve-racking to go from like like were you comfortable like growing up? Were you comfortable talking with ladies and stuff? I was not very good I just always had a friend group of friends or whatever and probably had too high hopes with a lot of ladies So it was usually flying solo. Oh, yeah, but I also when I go out I like to Go go ham, I guess. So it's like, I like to move light, you know, moving solo, getting through cracks and stuff like that.

Starting point is 00:55:53 That's how you like to travel kind of? Oh yeah, it's, I don't, well I just like to- You like to do your own thing. Yeah. Like I just like, even before I'm doing something like this, I like to pace around or something, and sort of do that with other people Yeah, and so now it's a little different though because you can meet it's easier to meet ladies now because they can see you without You having to be that you know they get they see you online. They see on socials. It's easier

Starting point is 00:56:15 Yeah, and uh and it's hard to get on tinder when you're sketch or whatever and because then it's like It's like a how do you get on tinder with your? With the persona or whatever it's like a, how do you get on Tinder with your, with a persona or whatever? It's like, what? Right. Yeah. That's why, uh, talking to all the ladies from where I live. Are you?

Starting point is 00:56:33 Yes, sir. And that's a lady. She looks nice. It looks better than the guy that you brought. He's handsome, but it's different. That's a great haircut. Yeah. He's a beautiful guy.

Starting point is 00:56:44 Is Barbara took it up high, didn't he? Yeah, his barber definitely fresh chop brother Guy Fiari on the top of military sides It has an upstairs It's a penthouse penthouse chop there It's gonna be more expensive to heat. Yeah, that heat bill is probably expensive on that motherfucker. Don't worry, it's cold in the winter, it's hot in the summer. Just don't worry, it's just a remodeled attic.

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Starting point is 01:01:59 I just, I don't really, not dating someone is one of these, like it's like hard to define love. Like I love people, love all good people someone is when it's like, it's like hard to define love. Like I love people, love all but people, but like, it's like love like that? No, not yet. And were you dating anybody in high school and stuff or no? No, I was, I moved high school

Starting point is 01:02:16 when I went to that private school and then I went back. So it was kind of just like all random timing. And then when I was in college, I had transferred to four colleges. So it was kind of bouncing around. Yeah. Were you getting kicked out or what were you doing? I was just homesick. So like I went to Mississippi state. It was too far. So I moved to OU. That

Starting point is 01:02:35 was, I was underperforming what I was paying. Well, like I was like, I went to Texas state from there because it was like, I was doing a business, but I was like, I went to Texas State from there because it was like, I was doing a business, but I was like, not even like really doing great at it. So I was like, I might as well pay less. Like I don't need the degree or whatever. Yeah. I don't need to do poorly, expensively. Exactly.

Starting point is 01:02:57 You know, I'd rather, you know. And yeah, you were just homesick kind of dude. When I went to, I went to university Arizona the first semester I was in college and I was so homesick. Oh really bro. It was horrible. I bet that's a that's a culture shock there from oh the bayou to the Yeah, it was dude it was just like a lot of people with sunburn and a lot of like violencia and like Mexican people like just beating each other up and like abandoned car washes and stuff and Beautiful area. Tire shops and yeah, there's a lot of people. Yeah, dude a lot of like Mexican people just threatening to fucking change your tires

Starting point is 01:03:38 Love love love my Hispanics Yes, sir Si, señor. So you went to those schools, were you really homesick? I was homesick and then I loved Texas State and then COVID happened and I was just like... Oh, so then you're home. I just got my real estate license, started working with my dad and then was like, just didn't... I wasn't really good at school, so I was like, no, I'm just going to do this.

Starting point is 01:04:02 And then I somehow got here. And worry, what are your parents? Are they still married? Is it still married? They're still paying off a college bill. I probably will. I will probably, uh, have to not have to, but I hopefully one day give them a little cash back there. Yeah. Yeah. Give them some pre-play. Oh yeah. I think they deserve probably something. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, what did they skateboard or something or? Yeah. Uh, I would say skateboard or something or yeah Something probably less dangerous for him. It's a pre one. Yeah, no sticker on it Even escape we just put on the wall in the room a longboard. Yeah

Starting point is 01:04:35 Maybe a lot of a line bike or a two-seater one of those two-seater bike Oh, yeah, dude My step-parents used to always go ride on that man and everybody in the neighborhood would call him to see all out queers My gosh, I'll tell you what I would take a sidecar for sure that Those are actually really hard to drive Yeah, and those are hard hard. They're harder to be seen on I feel like the drive cares if you can drive it or not I just feel like being seen on that is unbelievable. That's like a bike helmet.

Starting point is 01:05:06 Like if my dad ever wears a bike helmet, dude, I'm out. Yeah, it's like, I wouldn't trust the driver on the front of that thing. Like you're sitting there and. Yeah, especially if it's your husband or something because spouses are always getting rid of their husbands. Look at these two guys right here. A couple of Vietnamese guys biking.

Starting point is 01:05:28 Yeah, so you never really been in love yet then, huh? So you didn't start dating until after. Uh, yesterday was probably my first real date. No, sir. No way. And you were, he's helping me out here. Let's look at that. Oh, let's go. Bro, your first date and where did you guys go?

Starting point is 01:05:43 Uh, we went to Eddie V's. Oh, it's nice there Eddie V's They have um table calls in there. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It was uh, it was fine dining We had some steak had like two bites of it Everyone's trying to stay light. Yeah, the date doesn't eat much. Oh, no, which she's uh, she had she felt some pressure I guess Yeah, a lot of they don't wanna, yeah. I think women don't, I think, well, sorry to interrupt you. Go on, tell me more about the date. So we went to Eddie V's and then we went out on Broadway.

Starting point is 01:06:14 That was fun. And then that was it. Go to some bars? Some bars, we were bar hopping. And yeah, the bars here were pretty crazy. So it was a, it was a fun time. We had definitely, we both needed IVs in the crazy. So it was a fun time. We had definitely, we both needed IVs in the morning. So really.

Starting point is 01:06:28 Yeah. And was it a, I don't even want to be inappropriate. Was it like sleep in the same bed type of date or was it like a? Same room. Gentlemen. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Starting point is 01:06:42 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here we go. You don't need to score all the way in the first half Come on. It's a it's a first inning here Here you go. I love your attitude man. Wow, dude. He was it did it feel like romantic? Like how would you how were you feeling? I was feeling butterflies Butterflies with a little bit of the beer shit. I drank on the flight It was getting to me. You drank on the flight?

Starting point is 01:07:05 Oh, I just don't like flying so I drink a little bit when I fly. Yeah. Or maybe a lot, but whatever I'm feeling, depending on how long the flight is. A lot of step dads and aggressive business lesbians will drink on flights, I noticed. I'm on flights all the time. Yeah. Wow, brother. And so you've had a couple drinks, you get there. Did you go pick her up or how did you guys do? Same flight.

Starting point is 01:07:26 You came together? Oh, yeah. Wait, so you knew her already? Oh, yeah. Oh, I thought you said this was the first date? No, it was the first date, but first time it's a lifelong friend. Oh, it's a- Not lifelong, more later in life.

Starting point is 01:07:39 Okay, a later in life friend and you're only how old are you? 25. Oh, yeah, yeah, so it's a new friend. Yeah, pretty friend. Yeah pretty new yeah pretty new I was called. New love it's like puppy love. Oh yeah oh I love it it can't even catch a frisbee in its mouth yet. Yeah exactly you know we were uh stumbling don't know how to hold hands don't know how to walk together I was trying to open doors it's pretty hard when they're a fast walker calm down so I come back here I'm on camera here please oh wow so did it feel like there was it must have felt awesome huh it was awesome tell you what I'd do

Starting point is 01:08:17 it again well night two day two this could be it another night I know this is uh well now it's getting to the back half, so I might have to hit the panic button on the... No, I'm just kidding. That's true the second day, but also it's the best... It's like, if it still feels good, that's the best thing, you know? I think you're right. The worst move is to try to like, play all your cards and like, be like the hero on the first night or whatever. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:08:41 You know? That's a rookie move, really. That's a rookie move. I like to, well, impress her very well in the beginning. And then next time we hang out, it's probably not going to be as good. That's what I'm saying. There we go. Eddie V's first time. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:08:54 Cracker Barrel next time. There we go. Breakfast, breakfast food. Nothing wrong with biscuits and gravy. Biscuits and boobies. I'm just kidding. Dude. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:04 Do you remember even feeling like were you ever did you ever have like a crush on one of your teachers or anything I had some you know what you know I was gonna say do when it comes to taking girls for love for dinner you got to get them seafood bro that's exactly you're speaking the language yeah eggs not eggs what do you call it crab yeah some people say eggs are the seafood of a farm anyway. Oh yeah. But yeah, women love seafood, man,

Starting point is 01:09:30 because women love to go to the beach. Seafood is, it lives right outside of the beach. Yeah, that's about as romantic as it gets. Oh, I remember one time, yeah, I took this girl to seafood. We went to lunch and, oh, and then after, I had like like a big crush on this girl and I tried to hold her hand and she wouldn't hold my hand. Oh that's brutal. I was like give me back my fucking crab cake. Oh yeah, start giving her a Heimlich.

Starting point is 01:09:56 Give me it back please. Yeah, that's lump crab meat. That's king crab brother. We need that shit back. Yeah this ain't queen crab meat. Yeah, that's King crab, brother. Let's get that back. We need that shit back. Yeah, this ain't queen crab, mama. We're pulling this out of you.

Starting point is 01:10:10 Oh yeah, we got the wrong person here. So yeah, that's something I know. Women like seafood and they just like it dude. You buy a girl a fish dinner, get her a couple fish medallions or however they cut it up. They love it man. You know what I thought? I wonder if it would be cool to date a mermaid or not. That would be cool. Half half real half fake. Well just their mermaid. What is a mermaid made out of? How much is it human and how much of is it fish?

Starting point is 01:10:46 Can you bring that up, please? I'm guessing 45%, no, not 45%. It'd probably be 60% fish. Yeah, I'm guessing more 60% fish. Well, it would be, you have a crush on any mermaids or something? No, I just thought I was just thinking about it, what it would really be like, cause there's always these kind of like romantic ideas of a mermaid, you know?

Starting point is 01:11:10 But no one ever really thinks about the day-to-day of it. Like you're not gonna be able to bring her home. There's not gonna be any, I mean, there'll be some intimacy, but there's no, she doesn't have like a lower, so there's just. What's like she's dressed sexy. That's the fish scales are like latex, you know, great touch. Great feeling.

Starting point is 01:11:33 Right. But they don't have, they're just a fish from the bottom. So you'd have to like, I think there's, yeah, there's a lot of, you could probably ride on her back underwater. That would be pretty cool. That would be cool. Yeah. I guess there's some highlights of it, but then what would happen is you'd fall in

Starting point is 01:11:48 love you'd bring her home you get her a tank. Oh you get her a tank that's the only way you could do it. Yeah. Yeah you'd get her a swimming pool. Yeah and look yeah maybe with maybe like the fifth year anniversary you get her a pool or whatever I don't think you start with a pool right out of the gate. Yeah I love swim up bars it's like we died at a swim up bar every time that works. That works. Here you go You ever been in um, you ever been to a swim up bar? Oh, yeah I like sitting there and it's the craziest place where people can just pee on each other like secretly I always pee in the pool. Oh, no guilt. No

Starting point is 01:12:22 Survivors remorse. Sorry. Yeah, dude our forefathers died for us to be able to pee in pools. Exactly. Exactly. Like the young heroes that we are. Blood sweat and piss. That's it, man. Oh yeah, see, this would be a relationship. You'd be the bartender and she would be the one on the other side.

Starting point is 01:12:39 I think the bartenders probably, no, you give a guy four drinks and he doesn't move. He's pissing the whole time. He's letting it rip. Yeah. They should actually have like a little piss cop or whatever that swims up. Oh, yeah. Maybe a catheter or something. Something. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:12:54 That you can just attach right in. Like an IV you just put in your, in the main vein. That'd probably work. Um, okay. So what else were we talking about? Oh yeah. Being in love, dude. Did you ever, so, but what about first loves that you had? Obviously you love your mom in like a mother-son way. Yep. And you, did you ever have a crush on a teacher or anything like that? I had some really good

Starting point is 01:13:16 looking teachers actually. Oh yeah. I was in second grade though. She was Miss Oklahoma. She was an absolute smoke show. What? Miss Oklahoma. Set the scene. So you get in there, huh? It's regular education. I went over my head, my dad, when we got out of there, he's like, your teachers are pretty hot. And I was like, Oh yeah, that's right. That was more just trying to get in and out. Oh yeah. Yeah. I think when school's tough, you're not thinking about, yeah, you got to stay focused on the grades. Now was this regular education sketch or what type of energy was it? Oh, it was public education.

Starting point is 01:13:49 Oh, wow. Oh, yeah. She was, I mean, she was two years removed from Miss Oklahoma's second grade teacher. And you're in public education, so you're playing for the Raiders over there. Oh, yeah. I was pretty good school, pretty good school. It was more of like, I don't know, a great time. And were there times that you noticed

Starting point is 01:14:09 when you started to feel something for Connor, when you had like a. You know, it was probably some dreams, probably some thoughts, but it was, I wish it could happen type thing. Yeah. What about you? You ever been in love with a teacher?

Starting point is 01:14:25 Yeah, we had this lady. I think I feel like her name was like Miss Breast or whatever. I don't even know what her name was. That's how much like breast that she had. And she would wear, she wore like, she would button all the way up to here and like with like a doily on the necklace.

Starting point is 01:14:42 You know what a doily is? What's that? Show a doily if you can. Please? The neck would have it was like that around the top like it had like a very formal looking. Oh like a pilgrim. Yes. That's perfect. Yes it was like a pilgrim with knowledge. There you go. And we she would come over by her desk and help me with math. And her breasts were so warm and like, it just felt like, it felt like kind of when you go into

Starting point is 01:15:13 like a dominoes or something, and they're just baking it and everybody's pretty excited, you know, like a new domino. Yeah. Yeah, it was just that good warm feeling. And she would help me with my math and I would like mess up the math so she would stay there. It'd be like eight divided by four is and I put like six thousand or whatever

Starting point is 01:15:29 That's a good way to do it. That's a good way to do it. You got to keep them somehow Oh, you know stayed right there man. That's a good call. I might have to steal that one Yeah, bro. So that was I think the first time that I was like really into like a teacher or something Oh, yeah, and I loved that, you like a teacher or something. Oh yeah. And I loved that you know. Happy Thanksgiving. Oh yeah she had the toughest bra to her bra was like a damn. It's like a bullpen trying to hold back trying to hold back some dogs there. Trying to hold back a couple puppies. And a couple relief pictures. It was like it was just it was made by like DeWalt or something it was a serious bra. Oh yeah it had some, looked like they're about to pop or something. It was just, it was made by like DeWalt or something. It was a serious draw. Oh, it's, yeah, it had some,

Starting point is 01:16:05 looked like they were about to pop or something. It was like a 40 pound test on it. Sometimes they look like they, they open up like a missile silo, like he just, brrr. Yeah. Go out with a claw. Yeah. That's a cool attachment there.

Starting point is 01:16:18 So I just remember her and I just, God, I had a big crush on her. I had a crush on a lot of teachers though. I think it was, yeah, I think because they were around you and they would help you do stuff. There was something kind of hot about it. Yeah. There's a lot of hot teachers out there.

Starting point is 01:16:34 And now a lot of them are making love with the students. That's true. We missed out on that trend there. Run it back. If I could have a time machine. Table for two, please. Here, look for two please one more chance please god dude I don't know if I would have been one of the students that had enough confidence so to hit on the teacher like really hit on oh really some of this need you know kids stand up we got a waistband it oh yeah pitching

Starting point is 01:17:02 a tent the saddest thing when you would go up to ask a question or something by the teacher and then you would get an erection. Yeah. And then you had to walk back to you. So like you would, people would start like learning a moonwalk and shit, just like things so they would like, like, so you couldn't tell that they had an erection while they were walking back to their death yeah you get up like you're trying to hide something or somebody would just walk like this like just any way to like camouflage when I would that's my secret

Starting point is 01:17:35 if you see me in the morning and I'm holding a blanket in front of me morning would just that's that's what that is that's it oh I'm just holding this walk walking around Fix it. It's like get your gut in your hole So you're not doing magic or anything that yeah, no not magic. You just waste bandit I'll tell you you forget about it talk to the dog about it If you forget you forget about it top of your dick gets real cold and purple gets frostbite. He just headless dragon there. Oh real cold and purple. Gets frostbite. He's just headless dragon there.

Starting point is 01:18:09 Oh man, dude, I used to want to mail my dick to a starving country or whatever to feed some of the children. Isn't that crazy? Oh really? It's a hunk of meat there? I would have dreams about it. You know, I'd give them more like a mini corn dog if I gave them some, it's more of a delicacy than a, it's more of a delicacy than I'm out here. Yeah. They're like, Hey, this isn't even tipping the scales. God, there's nothing rotting on my thing. It's just, uh, you know, no, no weird things going on.

Starting point is 01:18:32 Just shoot you straight. Yeah. That's a good thing. That is really the best thing about a basic regular, smallest wiener. It's like, Hey, we're not playing any games here. Right. We know it's not a escalator, whatever. We just know this is a two door sedan and it'll get you from A to B.

Starting point is 01:18:48 It's perfect for practice. It's like a kickin' tee. Sit there, pick it up, you know, get it hopefully practiced later. No, just kidding. Whoa. Hey, sorry for cursing. Sorry for, sorry for everything. There we go. Um, so you go to school. So now you're just sketchman. So now you are a Lamborghini owner, near sighted, right? Water deficient, water deficient, very positive, very positive. Um, talented.

Starting point is 01:19:23 Thank you, brother. Energetic. Thank you, brother. Energetic. Thank you, sir. Handsome. Hopeful. So now what do you feel like? Like, do you feel like, like, are there things that you feel like you want to do now? Cause now you have somewhat of a platform.

Starting point is 01:19:38 Oh yeah. Well, like if you started to think about that, has it been kind of scary? Like, what's some of that like? Cause I think there's a lot of people out there who dream to be in like a position Where okay, um, I'm creating stuff online and it starts to people start to absorb it. Yeah I'm well my first thing I'm gonna do we're launching merch. Um, we plan on donating the proceeds to a charity It's gonna be our first first shirt and then Besides that that take everything a day at a time so it's

Starting point is 01:20:05 more of a I know I want to travel I want to meet people and that's cool more of my goal than the money side of things but that's kind of that's kind of what I got planned right now oh that's good goals yeah I would love to go to like Ireland or something like that really are you Dutch or whatever you're I'm a I'm pretty Hispanic and native and English. Oh, wow. My mom's 50% Hispanic. Hispanic, native, and English.

Starting point is 01:20:34 Mm-hmm. My mom's side of the family, her parents were like migrational pickers and stuff like that. They would travel from like up and down the country to pick different types of fruits and stuff like that. Ooh, I love that. Yeah. I love picking fruit. My grandma used to grow strawberries. Oh really? Yeah, and we would pick them We weren't like I don't really like strawberries actually what I don't really like fruits or vegetables. I mostly eat chicken

Starting point is 01:20:57 Really? Yeah chickens like my safe food if I want to if I know I want to feel good. I eat chicken Oh, yeah, that's like a lot of adolescents eat McNuggets all the time. Dude, I'd tell you, I run up a check at Chick-fil-A and then they fucked up the chicken. Now I got to find a new spot here. I need to find something that does give me heartburn. Nashville hot chicken. It feels great coming in, comes out like dragon's breath. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:21:22 I think it's a risky move having that. Yeah those farts like have their own climate it's like a tropical storm. It's a real butt yeah it's a real butt party I think. Yeah. It's like a dangerous butt party it's like someone brought a gun to a fun party. Yeah, Plaxco Burst it. You might Plaxco Burst that thing in there. Little calf shot. Can't be dancing too much with a stick in your pocket. Same thing goes with waistband. It can't be doing too much. You got to keep it pretty. It's mostly in the shoulders when you have it in the waistband. Oh, that's a good point. Oh yeah, you can't, you get too high or low. You might reveal it. Yeah, yeah, and a magician never

Starting point is 01:22:02 reveals his trick. True, true. You know, it's the art of deception and illusion. It's like you're taking a picture, you take it from a good point of view. Take it with a selfie, it'll disappoint some people. Yeah, if you're taking dick pics with a drone, then I think you just have a small dick. Oh yeah. I think that's crazy. You know, take it with a GoPro. Take it with a GoPro That's probably the probably do the most favors Compare it to a GoPro. What? Dude, you're so you're so interesting. Thank you. Um, yeah, you bet man. Thank you so much. I love you bro

Starting point is 01:22:35 Spending time with me. Thanks, man. That's nice of you to say I think there's just something like it's neat to see somebody that is like unique You know, I guess people think that that's because everybody feels sometimes people feel unique and it's like not a cool unique. It's like, I feel unique, but they'll mis-present it to themselves. Like, I feel like something isn't, I'm not the same as everybody else. But instead of thinking, oh, I'm unique, they think, oh, I'm not the same. I'm almost, I'm different or I'm less than, you know? But you just are like, oh, I'm unique, they think, oh, I'm not the same. I'm almost, I'm different or I'm less than, you know? But you just are like, oh, I'm unique.

Starting point is 01:23:08 This is who I am. And then to see how much everybody is really interested in like really how much that brings warmth to people, it's pretty, that's awesome. That's like kind of the thing that I think we want to see. Thank you. Yeah, because I just wanted to, when I started, I just wanted to take, I had like small takes or whatever I do with this with my fingers

Starting point is 01:23:33 when I'm excited or whatever, but it was more of like taking off the barriers and that's where the hand motions was like, like it was like getting that energy out and like letting it fly, but there was a time last year and I just like, had a prayer where I was like, I want to be happy, I want to travel, and I want to meet people. And God answered me like crazy. Really?

Starting point is 01:23:52 Yeah. Wow. And you really were praying that? Yeah. No, he humbled me for sure. Wow, man. That's powerful, huh? Yeah, no.

Starting point is 01:24:02 Power and prayer. Yeah, I believe that too, man. 100%. Yeah, thanks for saying that. It's important. And you were just, you were to pray, you were thinking, this is my prayer, this is what I would like. Yeah, not, I didn't know it was streaming. I didn't, I just, streaming came out of randomness. I didn't, that wasn't like directly after. I just remember that prayer was like, like that was like my turning point. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:24:26 It's like, put your eyes on the Lord, brother. Yeah. Hey, I'm looking for the Lord. I always am, you know? Yeah. And I'll say, I'm looking for the Lord and somebody told me, hey, the Lord ain't lost. Yeah, true that, true that, brother.

Starting point is 01:24:40 Follow the light, follow the light. I know, it's, yeah yeah that's such a good statement man and to put your wishes into the Lord too not like I want like a um you know like I want to get a new Jaguar or I want to get a new um you know one of those color printers for our mobile home or whatever yeah but like a real like what is your real you know? And a lot of times it is to be happy, to feel of use. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Like that's good. That's exactly kind of like, if you find your purpose. Yeah. God has your purpose. He's just got to, he's just waiting there. He's poking and prodding. He's working on you. He's like an IV. Sometimes you got to stick that thing a couple times, find right vein, you know get your get your stuff rolling in the right direction. Yeah

Starting point is 01:25:29 Yes, sometimes you got to get your oil change by the Lord exactly there New tires to brother new tires. Thank you. Jesus. Thank you Jesus, do you think of yourself as like a role model or where do you kind of think of yourself as is it weird to? Think of yourself as something because even that is like a little bit of like our ego getting a little wild, you know? It's weird because like that's where people go like, oh, he's humble or whatever. It's like it's easy to be humble on camera. But it's like the more I've like met people and the younger I've seen them, the more I go like, well, I should definitely watch from putting out there and saying.

Starting point is 01:26:02 But yeah, like it's definitely weird to think like any type of role model, because it's like, I'm just playing video games, brother. Do not take my financial advice. I would put you in the dirt like a stick in the mud. This guy answered two emails a day. Dude, I'm not your guy. With good morning thanks. Yeah, good morning and thanks, brother.

Starting point is 01:26:24 There you go. I'm just letting them know I'm alive. That's their way of, man, that green circle was never lit up on my thing. Keep it vague. Good morning, thanks. Maybe a chat soon. Yeah, always from the phone too, never at the computer. I'll send some emails, you're in a completely different state.

Starting point is 01:26:44 I'm here brother. So that's it. That's where we're at. That's where sketch is now. You see yourself on, yeah, sports players who were at the Cardinals yesterday doing batting practice and a lot of them were doing some of your terms and singles and things. Yeah, it's crazy.

Starting point is 01:27:01 It's crazy. Yeah, the Cardinals shout out them St. Louis. Yeah, they're doing pretty swell. did Cardinals shout out them in St. Louis? Yeah, they're doing pretty swell. The Brewers were there too, man. But yeah, it's just kind of fascinating to see like the effect. I think that's an interesting thing too. It's making people feel like, oh, I can have an effect on one person or a lot of people by being myself. Yeah, and that's what like was crazy, was like the What's Up Brother, the special, all that stuff was like,

Starting point is 01:27:29 I was like not expecting it. It was more like I was just making shit up as I'm doing stuff, like half of them are like audible calls, like Tuesday or whatever, like that just like means get on the ball. But I was just like, I was talking to my, to my quarterback or whatever on the field. But I got that from when I when I first started I was used to

Starting point is 01:27:48 other my first stream I had like 12 people like it was mostly my friends and stuff, but uh, I turned off we announced her on Madden and send the games and That that's how I kind of started getting into it like we all did now it's it like it's a game and then we had a line on it and like some of them would bet it and stuff and like it's pretty fun. All of them go to like overtime. It's pretty cool. Oh, so all of the games you would, and you would just, you could MC your own game. Like you could be your own. So you can like take two teams, no one's playing with them. You just turn off the announcer

Starting point is 01:28:19 and then it was just me announcing and it was like a, it was like a random football game. You just get to watch the game? Yeah. Oh, that's pretty cool. We did it and I did it for like a tournament and the way we see, you picked your teams and then we seeded it and that's how you had your draft order

Starting point is 01:28:32 for the fantasy draft. Oh nice, and then you guys would just watch it play out? Yeah. Wow. It was exhausting though. Those games were like 30 minutes and I did probably 20 of them. Yeah, it seems like a really,

Starting point is 01:28:43 it seems like somebody who doesn't is not getting a lot of emails at work. Yeah, I know that is too much free time there. I'll tell you what. How do you meet people to play online on Madden? Do you just meet people like, I know you can just like set up with a guy and you both have your screen names and stuff, right? So that's how you just, do you just meet strangers?

Starting point is 01:29:02 Do you randomly pick people or what do you do? More like DM stuff? And then I usually like to talk to people before then because I like you didn't roast him a little bit so like let him I'm Simulate all the no doubt like um It's more like my content like with like Madden and stuff is more like banter with the boys So it's like kind of like couch shit talk and stuff. Uh-huh. So it's like people that uh couch shit talk and stuff. So it's like people that uh, they're all random. So it's like, I'll just literally, if whoever I talk to first on the phone or whatever, and then hey, you want to do this

Starting point is 01:29:31 tomorrow? And then you line it up? Yeah. I've gotten to play with like Tyreek Hill, Sauce Gardner, Vontez Burfect, um, Hunter Dickinson. Wow. Yeah, a lot of athletes, but it's pretty fun. And do um, and do you guys play for money or anything or no? Yeah, we'll do like gifted subs or whatever, which like 25 gifted subs is like $150 or something like that. But I mean, we would do like for like 10 subs, which is like 50 bucks or something like, you know, just stuff to do stuff. But yeah, it makes it a little more fun having skin in the game. Oh, I think so. I think that's what it's about.

Starting point is 01:30:08 Flesh on the table. It means something. Do you, um, do you think there's a team in the NFL that could use a guy like you right now on the field? On the field. And be honest with me. Yeah. Yo, definitely probably, uh, probably the jets.

Starting point is 01:30:25 And you can say the saints. Probably the jets. They need some wide receivers. And the saints, the saints are in trouble. Huh? They're your team? They're not doing great. Who is their quarterback?

Starting point is 01:30:36 It's probably a truck driver or something. You got substitute teachers running routes out there. A lot of good questions. Miss Breast is probably the teacher over there. Oh yeah. A lot of good questions, man. A lot of questions that need to be answered. Yeah. I could see you pulling up for the Jets, man. Getting a 10-day contract. 10-day? Fuck it. Give me a half a year. What? Half a million.

Starting point is 01:30:55 We haven't even seen your work yet. We had to get sight unseen. Purchase with it. You know, you don't get to take the toys out of the box, brother. You got to buy it in the store store then you got to take it home hey buy this land oh yeah hey please you what about land modeling do what if they had models for land like say you take some people out to some land and there's a couple of just legit bitches legit bitches not just bitches legit bitches walking across and modeling that land. That's that's perfect That's I mean some of them do that. It's literally instead of like that

Starting point is 01:31:30 Let's like, you know ranches with deer like showing the doughs and stuff like oh look at this But doing that have it like a car wash type thing. Yeah hot chicks bowing the lawn Be perfect. It's not a bad idea. There's no way if I'm even a little horny I'm not getting me a quarter acre. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. You don't need water and sewer. Just raw land, brother. We'll figure it out. We're living on love. That's how you sell the shit around the tracks. That's it, dude. Better fertilizer. Yeah. There's probably some car tires on that thing you got to dig up out of the ground. Yeah, just help him with their nature work.

Starting point is 01:32:06 Thank you sir. What's the proper etiquette on Madden if you're blowing somebody out? How do you end a game? Do you end it early? Do you guys decide? Like what happens there? I usually just, that's rare for me to blow someone out, but I usually like just leave the game if it's a random person.

Starting point is 01:32:20 But when I'm playing with other people, like I usually just we play, finish the game or we'll restart another one usually like 21 points or something like that when it gets that's you know when that cheeks are getting a little too rosy slapping that ass when so you're gonna do maybe a second date looks like it Shane Gillis today oh you're going tonight yes sir I'm going no way yeah what time um I don't know I could probably take if you need but um Looks like it. Shane Gillis today. Oh, you're going tonight? Yes, sir. Dude, I'm going. No way. Yeah. What time?

Starting point is 01:32:46 I don't know. I could probably take you if you need, but if not, I'll meet you over there. Yeah, no, he's like, we're going at 7. Y'all are? Yeah. Oh, then that's when I'll go. Oh, shit. Yeah, I might even jump on stage with him. That'd be sick.

Starting point is 01:32:57 Yeah, dude, that'd be great. Have you been to the Ryman to see him? No, is it pretty cool? I saw a bus saying it was one of the most historic places or something like that. Like it's pretty legendary. Yeah, it's very historic. Yeah. I'm sure you've played at a lot of crazy places like that. Where's your favorite place you've played? Some interesting places. Oh, let me think. I don't know. We just went to Australia and did some shows recently and it was really awesome. Oh, that's crazy. How was that? that? How was that? The different, different crowd, triple them and a ball of me.

Starting point is 01:33:26 It was great, dude. We got to do this cool show. Can you bring up the show with, um, have you seen this show called beautiful, tasty, beautiful? No, it's. There's two guys. One of them is, um, um, one of them has down syndrome. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 01:33:41 I saw this. You can't tell them. Yeah. It's a secret. Um, but yeah, I went on their show can't tell them. Yeah It's a secret But yeah, I went on their show and it's a cooking show. That's awesome That was one of my favorite things that I got to do that was in they live in Australia Yeah, oh, that's cool. One of them has down syndrome one of them was is just in a fraternity

Starting point is 01:34:00 Okay But they're excellent. I think he was a Pike or something, something that had more pills. Pike? Yeah, the pill popper. Is that what you know him as too? No, Pike gets piked. I'm not confirming or denying. I'm just saying. I was never, I don't know.

Starting point is 01:34:19 I might have the whole chapter come after me over that one. I don't remember. Wait, I got it with Com one. I don't remember. Wait, wait, wait, I got it with, with comfort. This, I don't know. Um, so that was something that was really cool that I got to do. Yeah. I don't know. Just podcasting is neat.

Starting point is 01:34:34 Getting to meet different people. Um, but yeah, performing. Yeah. Some great places. We're going to London in a couple of weeks to do some shows. Um, that is awesome. Yeah. Just things like that. I just can't that is awesome. Yeah. Just things like that.

Starting point is 01:34:45 I just can't even believe it. Yeah. You know, when did, when did you like start doing stuff? How old were you? Like six years ago, I started doing podcast and that's when like comedy got busy, but I've been doing comedy for like 15 years, probably 17 years. And you're, you're so like around in your lower twenties? No.

Starting point is 01:35:03 Uh, when I, yeah, I started when I was 24. The same time I started. Yeah. Look at us. I'm looking at myself now. Council of Ricks here. Yeah, sorry it looks like this. Yeah, no, your shit went left.

Starting point is 01:35:18 I don't know what happened. Wide left. Fucking teed off and hit a fucking house you got a window bill You know what else is okay, what's in the news? Let's hit a couple news topics man. Oh This was Drake. Yeah, I don't know if I cared about this how much They did you see that? Yeah, it came out the diss track right of who? I missed the days a lot of rappers used to actually shoot each other. Yeah they do still it's just they it happens sooner before they get big it's bad. Yeah that's the problem now. Yeah. These guys you have to wait until

Starting point is 01:36:04 you get bigger to do it. Yeah. You can't, yeah, you got guys that have put out, you know, a half a mixtape and they're just popping off on each other. Yeah. We had some legends in Houston die too soon. Yeah. Rest in peace, Kenny Liu. He's gone?

Starting point is 01:36:17 He, well, unfortunately, him and another dude, Ghost Magneto, they're great guys, but street life stuff. Street life got him, huh? It's sad. It's sad. Yeah, it is. It's pretty wild. Go inside. I'll tell you what I've...

Starting point is 01:36:34 You been in the streets much? No, I'm an inside dog, inside cat. I like the kiddle, I like the kiddle. I don't like to hang out with the big dogs. Yeah, it's okay, man. Tell you what, walk and look here. That's why I wear these air ball marks. I like the kiddle. I like the kiddle. I don't like to hang out with the big dogs Tell you what walk and look here That's why I wear these air ball marks. No one wants to rip these things off my feet It's like shit. You can have them, bro

Starting point is 01:37:00 Take them, please leave in them. Yeah, they had this video that of Tupac that I did see when he was young Apparently he was allegedly a homosexual male and I didn't know that my name is Tupac Shakur and I attend Tamapai High School and I'm 17 years old. Do you like being 17? Yeah, it's like 17's such a weird age. It's such a, in the middle age, you're not 18 yet and you're older than 16. But I like it, it's nice. It's interesting because they never really like

Starting point is 01:37:24 push him like that. They always just kind of like the energy about him is always just a little bit more like that he was like a gangster rapper. Yeah. You know? Maybe it's sometimes they take videos out of context. That could be true. I mean this could be AI.

Starting point is 01:37:39 It could be. But even then he I think like it's just interesting. I think for years I've never heard anybody say this and then now everybody's been talking about this video. Yeah, people like to say that stuff now. Yeah, everybody, yeah, the second somebody has any success, also they're gay. There's also like a lot of like new black gay people

Starting point is 01:37:56 like since like the Diddy thing, suddenly everybody who's black is accusing everybody else of being gay, I feel like. Yeah. It's just kind of wild. I think a lot of that stuff just in the black community right now is kind of wild, you know? Yeah. With a lot of just everybody's accusing each other of being gay, I feel like. It's just kind of wild. I think a lot of that stuff just in the black community right now is kind of wild, you know? With a lot of just everybody's accusing each other

Starting point is 01:38:08 of being gay. I think in two generations, everybody is gonna be bisexual. I think it's- Like the frogs? I think, yeah. Like the rich, too much runoff. Yeah. Too much runoff and it's at the amphetamine chickens.

Starting point is 01:38:23 Dude, that's where I think we're headed. I think it's just like, everybody is gonna be, that's where it's going to be. Yang and Yang. Yeah. Look at that. That'd be it. Just teamwork. Anything else in the news that was going on?

Starting point is 01:38:36 Oh, New York City proposes rat birth control to reduce population. That is disgusting. Huh. The war on rats. It seems so hard to imagine. What in the hell? population. That is disgusting. Huh. The war on rats. It's hard to imagine. What in the hell? But recent viral videos show a city overwhelmed with rodents. They're seen taking over sidewalks.

Starting point is 01:38:58 Oh, this is rats in New York. Well, here's what they should do. They should organize them and get them to work together, work with, with the community. There's too many rats. They've been trying this for years to get rid of them. It's getting worse. There were rats. They saw rats playing double Dutch the other day somewhere. It's getting bad.

Starting point is 01:39:14 Those are the ones that are gaining too much knowledge. They're in subways because they're taking public transportation. They're pretty smart mother- Sorry for cussing, but. No, look, if they're at a library too, I mean, this is crazy. Look how many rats. Rat population 2018 to 2022 is gone from 2.2 million to 3 million rats now in New York

Starting point is 01:39:34 City. What year is that that it starts to spike at? 2020. What happened? It's COVID. It was either- The COVID babies. Biden or COVID.

Starting point is 01:39:44 I wonder if maybe COVID, like when everything slowed down, they just had a chance to like- Well, yeah, everyone stopped eating bats and rats. So they started, started going up. Well, it makes you wonder how many restaurants were serving rat that suddenly didn't have any clientele anymore. You know? Yeah. Rail chicken.

Starting point is 01:40:03 Yeah. Anchor Van 2. Anchor Van 2. Dude, I can't believe you're going to get out there for your second date, man. Front row. Front row. You got great tickets. Are you not going to say front row with the show? Great tickets. Does Shane Gillis, have you guys ever seen him before?

Starting point is 01:40:20 Have you ever been to a comedy show before? That's like our celebrity crush. I'd have to tank him or something. Hey, put the shade, put the glasses on her then. Oh my man, let some fly there. Put the glasses on her, you know? I will. They'd probably knock off a couple points there. Yeah, I'm sure he's, yeah. I've seen Shane up close. Shane's a handsome guy. It's a very, it's just a unique type of handsome, you know? Yeah. What else? Any other news? Was there one more news story that was good? I'm trying to think of something that happened. Red Lobster's going under?

Starting point is 01:40:52 No way. Is it really? Losing millions on endless shrimp? Oh yeah. They should have took a book out of Carnival Cruise lines. 22 million dollar loss for the year. Um, because of endless shrimp, you can't do endless shrimp. Well, especially a lot of brothers and sisters, if they go on a date, they love endless shrimp.

Starting point is 01:41:16 Oh, I would, I would dine and dash dine and dash. Couple of those get free pounds. Oh, if the shrimp is endless, I'm standing on business. That's what a lot of people say, you know? I love that. I love that. Get nice and lubed up too with a couple drinks. So, you know, it turns into a crockpot. You just got shit wishing to wash in there.

Starting point is 01:41:35 Dude, so now that you're in the dating world, do you feel like you're going to start dating different ethnicities? Do you feel like there's anything or you just kind of... Open to all. Open to all. Look at me. Yeah. I'm like the UN. I'm just here to make at me. Yeah, I'm like I'm like the UN

Starting point is 01:41:45 I'm just here to make love Peacemaker be sure peacemaker here Dude thank you so much for Yeah, just making me laugh man. I appreciate you coming to spend in time. So you have much so you have Yes, you have merch coming out Some of that's gonna go to charity, that's really amazing. You're taking it a day at a time. Day at a time. Right?

Starting point is 01:42:12 Yes sir. You got your second date ever coming up? Yes sir. Back to back. Wow. Look at this. 94, 95 Rockets here. There we go.

Starting point is 01:42:20 Oh yeah, shit hit the fan after that, so tomorrow's gonna be scary. Might be 20 years of nothing. Hey, you could hit a drought, man. Yeah, that's why you gotta load up water. Pray for rain. Keep a jug on you and pray for rain. Hey, it's crazy to see a dehydrated guy praying for rain. Hell you wouldn't, try to get it somehow.

Starting point is 01:42:41 Hey, it's just the world we're in nowadays. Everything you want is uh, it's right in front of you. Hey I think you're really really right. What thoughts do you have for anybody out there like, oh dude I saw, I was thinking, because you don't have autism, what do you have? Do you have anything? No I don't have anything. You're just a regular guy. Regular dude, just like have a quirk or whatever, but it's like warm like I just When I'm doing my stuff like I just like get nervous or whatever

Starting point is 01:43:10 So like I just don't they're really like I'm trying to hide it with like I'd be like Yeah, but that's yeah. Yeah, that's a media. It's way harder So like doing this shit and like doing whatever like, you know, it makes me feel better. Yeah, like, you know like Better now it's yeah, I like it. Yeah, it's good. What about you? Yeah, it's perfect. Yeah, just running, just keeping the things.

Starting point is 01:43:31 There you go. I'd move the hands like, you know, it's like an orchestra. You're just trying to think through. And you're keeping energy moving through you. Yeah, that's exactly what I like. I like that. Like, I'll pinch my wiener if I get scared or if I'm trying to think. There you go. I'll clench my butthole when I get scared. So we opposite attract.

Starting point is 01:43:50 That's why we're closing the vault. That's why we're here today. Yeah. Dude, they were checking for people with autism at the mall the other day. Have you ever seen like, have you ever seen anything like that? No. Yeah. They had like a pop-up booth or something and they were, I guess they can check for it at the mall or whatever. like a pop-up booth or something and they were, I guess they can check

Starting point is 01:44:05 forward at the mall or whatever. It's like a photo booth going there or something. Yeah, it just develops something. You're like, oh this guy. Yeah, whoop, your green brother. No, and yeah, a lady was even doing like a, like one of those pen tests with somebody or whatever. I was like, I don't think that's, I don't think that person has autism I just be drunk. Yeah, check him He's got some funky shoes on Some guy goes some guy gets has to walk home because he can't drive Like an angry drunk to drink it nothing but fireball and piss in his pants mad at the world

Starting point is 01:44:45 Tuesday Tuesday He's like drinking nothing but fireball and pissing his pants, mad at the world. Tuesday, Tuesday. Tuesday, Tuesday. Um, Scotch, man, have fun. I'll see you at Shane Gillis tonight. Um, and yeah, I just hope to get to see you in the future, man. Thanks for being somebody, yeah, that makes it just seem like, hey, no matter who I am, I can just kind of be, you know? Yes, sir. And I can have some confidence in myself.

Starting point is 01:45:04 And, um, and yeah, and I can just have a good time know yes, and I can have some confidence in myself and And yeah, and I can just have a good time. You know yes, sir Thanks for coming and spending time and just making me laugh man. It's really thank you for having me It's a the hospitality been amazing. You know you saw when I've looked up to for for a while And it's amazing to be here, and thank you for having me. Yeah, you bet brother. Yes, sir, but brother And uh okay great man. Thanks. Yeah, thanks for coming man, and I'll see you at the show tonight. Yeah, you bet brother. Yes sir. But brother. And okay great man. Thanks yeah thanks for coming man and I'll see you at the show tonight. Yes sir. Sounds fun. Alright sounds good brother. Alright brother. Thank you brother. Bye brother. And like these leaves I must be cornerstone But when I reach that ground I'll share this piece of mind I found

Starting point is 01:45:52 I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take a little

This Past Weekend - E497 Sketch

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