This Past Weekend - E527 Lobster

Episode Date: August 27, 2024

Theo is back with a solo episode to talk about what went on behind the scenes during his interview with Trump, strange people at the flea market, touring America’s lobster belt, his reaction to RFK Jr. suspending his campaign, and much more. He also listens to some of your voicemails, and gets a major update from Riley Mau.  ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp — go to http://betterhelp.com/theo to get 10% off your first month. Shopify: Go to http://shopify.com/theo to sign up for a $1-per-month free trial. Tommy John: Go to http://tommyjohn.com/theo to save 25% off your first order.  SimipliSafe: Go to http://simplisafe.com/theo to get 20% off any new SimpliSafe system when you sign up for Fast Protect Monitoring. ------------------------------------------------- Music: “There Is a Light” by Stonekeepers ft. David Manuel https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlYmX8jvwz8 ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: [e-mail] Hit the Hotline: [phone] Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Producer: Riley https://www.instagram.com/riley_mau/  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Otherwise you'll end up on a secondary site and those aren't the prices that we are charging. Gang, hope everybody's well today. I was touching my legs earlier. I never touch, I, I know, you know, I realize as I get older, I never touch my legs. I just, you know, I'll touch the top of them a little, but rarely do I just, I put my hands just along my entire leg on each one.

And it just, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. So good to be here and hope you're having a good day. What's going on? We just did a run of shows up through Connecticut and Maine and then out to Moncton, which is in New Brunswick, which nobody, most people didn't know existed to be honest with you, nothing against them. People just, nobody, nobody knew. And then we went out there to Halifax and just beautiful beautiful in the summertime that whole stretch and you know and I and people like law they like lobster out there I noticed that people like lobster and at first you know you get like it's interesting because as you go along that coast up there it gets you know how people communicate about lobster gets it changes I noticed that for sure like

you're if you're in Providence, Rhode Island, a guy will run up with a gun and be like, hey, you want some fucking lobster? You know, but as you get, it gets less aggressive and just more like into the word as you get up towards Maine, you know, they're like lobster, you want some lobster? And then about to banger main like you want some lobs

They just keep saying like everybody like I don't care if you say it or not But everybody you talk to wants to talk about The and then you get further out to New Brunswick and Halifax and they're just like And then you get further out to New Brunswick and Halifax and are just like And it just I I I'm amazed how just I just I guess I'm amazed how much people love lobster and that it, just that it, people get, it's involved in every conversation as you go up that stretch of the country

and of the nation and of the world. And we'll put some of it up on a map so you can see where I'm talking about, but everybody, it's just like, you want some lobster. No matter who you're talking where I'm talking about, but everybody, it just like, you want some lobs there. No matter who you're talking to, they're like, yeah, we're going to have some lobs there. You know, Tiffany's having a baby and so somebody's cutting up a lot over there. So just fascinating to witness that and just, we were really on the, up

on that lobster trail up there. Um, but beautiful to see in the, God, it's just like, um, nature is just showing her cooter up there. It is that whole area is just like, God dang, mother nature got some new tits. You feel me? It's just like that, that kind of vibe up there. So, that was beautiful. We got to do that. What else? Went to a farmer's market yesterday. I don't know if you've been to one of those recently. Um, there it's fascinating the whole culture, you know, I got there. There's a mime who's flying a kite or whatever, you know? And I, and I'm like, what is it? Why?

You know, I don't like a mime. Like you're already a mime, like at least get a job, you know, at least have a job. I feel like, you know, those are the mimes that I respect the ones, you know, a mime who has a shovel or something and like, you know, we're like a wood chipper. Like, you know, I don't like the mime who's just doing, you know, just playing connect for something's like, we don't even, I don't know, just playing connect for something. It's like, we don't even, I don't know, I guess, I don't know, maybe even mimes are out of work or whatever.

I don't know. But I don't like the mime that juggles whatever. I like the mime that is employed out. If I see a mime, I want him to be at least, because he doesn't even live in like the regular universe, whatever, he lives in like a silent mystery cage or world or something. At least he can be doing, he's employed.

I like to know that a mimes are employed. Yeah, just, but farmers, just like, we get there, there's a guy like selling a mitten, you know, he had one mitten or whatever. And he's, he's trying to, he was saying like, well, if you have, once the one hand is warm, then you put it on the other hand. I'm like, I, I just, if I'm doing mittens, dude, I'm doing both mittens. You know, I'm not trying to be like a creep or whatever, but I just, I want to, I want to do both mittens. I don't want to, you know, I don't want to be some guy who's just swapping, putting a, you know, changing his mitten onto a different hand each day or each 40 minutes or whatever. So that was like a concept that guy had this guy, like one

mitten Andy or whatever his name was he had like a little booth and that But at that point is you could just use an oven mitt or whatever be a little big or whatever But so that was something they had a guy they had they just have the weirdest shit, you know They had a guy selling secondhand tomatoes And I'm like dude, you know, I don't want, I just want tomato, I just, I want my own tomatoes. I want tomatoes that have no mileage on them. When I get that bitch, I don't want a bunch of old fingerprints on it or like, I don't

want the tomato, I don't want to look at the tomato and it remembers its old family or whatever. I just want the tomato for the first time, you know? And I feel like at farmers markets, that's the stuff you get. You know, you get like a lot of, like, you just get like a lot of crazy stuff at farmers markets. You know, you'll get, they had a dude with like a bunch of lamb eggs or whatever. Like he had like 11 lamb eggs. And I'm like, how do you even egg a lamb? How do you even get an egg out of a lamb? You'll see some dude who had like the freshest milk or whatever.

It's like freshest milk is so, so fucking fresh, you know? And there's like, like the most naturist dude is like, just has milk just pouring down his fucking chest and it's just like thick milk and, and if you put your ear up to the little jug of jar of milk or whatever you can hear the cow wisp, you know, it's that fresh you can hear like the Cow just being like this is my milk or whatever Just real super fresh stuff over there. They had everything is like farm to table and like

stuff over there. They had everything's like farm to table and like they had farm to table tables. They had actual tables. And I was like, damn, that's, that is, that's, that is, that's farm to table, you know? Um, and then there's like little tents where like there's like bitches selling whispers and shit. And you're like, what? And yeah, for like $3, some, some bitch will whisper to you. Uh, and what else did they have? They had a guy doing foot massages, dude. If you think I'm driving over to a random field, it's basically an empty children's ballpark and letting some dude touch my feet for 25 bucks for 15 minutes bro then don't think about that bro because

I'm not doing it you know I'm not doing something like that so that was crazy they had everything there they had like they had like paleolithic eye drops or, uh, some dude with a baby Bjorn with like a dachshund in it or something. And he's just giving them just fresh milk, boy. And he just, just bottle feeding a fucking dachshund, some dude. And, um, yeah. And they have like real farmers and stuff. And then they have just like, like lesbians that get up early or something

that are saying that they're farmers or whatever. It was, um, I don't know. It was just, it was a farmer's market, man. You've been there. They got carrots. They got fucking, um, you know, you can get your, you can get your name carved in a carrot or something, you know, uh, Scotty was here or something 1997 or something, you know, just like that.

They'll do that kind of shit like carrot carvings. Uh, you know, there's people, they'll fucking, there's some girl with big lips and she'll just suck earwax right out of your skull for fucking nine bucks, that kind of stuff, man. So that was that. That was, yeah, that was, I guess, kind of some of what's been happening. A lot of touring. Thank you to everybody that's come out recently. I'm a little tired today.

I'm going to like a wellness retreat for a few days. So I'm looking forward to that. What else? Well, there's more. We'll talk about it, man. We'll talk about it in just a second. I want us to get into the episode. So yeah, I feel a little all over the place, but that's okay. You know,

that's sometimes how we feel. And yeah, I just, I wanted to, yeah, to just spend time today baby. Praise God. Let's get into it. Gang, baby. This is, Is A Light. And walk there with me I know a place where we can be free There is a light shining for you Guiding your way, helping you through And shadows and gloom are all that you see. We'll find a place where we can be free. Gang, baby! That is, there is a light by the Stonekeepers featuring David Manuel. And if you like that music, or that style of music, then you like it.

And that's okay. What's going on? Been, oh yeah, been a quite a time. I went to professional bull riding the other night and I've been involved in some pretty, you know, some naughty stuff, baby. You know what I'm saying? I was doing professional bull riding the other night. And I've been involved in some pretty, you know, some naughty stuff, baby. You know what I'm saying? I've done some things with some ladies that you definitely,

you know, you'd cover the kid's eyes type of behavior, but I've never seen any of the, I don't want to call it romance or whatever that's going on, but they just, because they get these young fellas, a lot of them, and they put them on these animals' backs. And I don't know if the bulls are male or female. That's the part that, you know, because I'd ride a, you know, I've been on some thick things, maybe, but, you know, I've been on some thick things, baby, but you know, and that's hell, that's, you know,

if you don't, if you can't afford heat, baby, that's what you got to do, baby, you know? A thick girl, baby, that's just that wiener mittin', baby, if it's winter, you know, that it is what it is, baby. That's love. That's the dang Lord's frickin' love, baby. But, what was I saying? Oh yeah, but I don't, so yeah, I don't know if there's any, I guess there's no eroticism in it, but I'm sure for some of the fans there is.

But watching that was fascinating. My buddy, Matt West, he's been on this podcast before. some of the fans there is. But watching that was fascinating. My buddy, Matt West, he's been on this podcast before. Him and Jess Lockwood came on and he invited me over there to PBR to watch the games go on. And it was fascinating, man, it's great. If you get to go do that or rodeo,

you know I talk about that a lot. I love those events. And I'm surprised that there's not more gay men watching rodeo, I think, you know? Especially for the times when it's a male rider on a male animal. Because you can't see that kinda, you you know, you got to pay a lot of money to watch some illegal shit, you know, some illegal streams, probably to see some of the stuff

that's you can almost witness or imagine when you see some of these fellas, you know, just, I mean, just riding these animals, God. And it's, yeah, it's like, I don't know, some of it, some of it's a lot, but yeah, what else, dude? We went to interview Donald Trump, and that was crazy, bro. I'm like, yeah, I couldn't even believe that we got to do it, you know? And I'd had a long week.

It was a long week. Everybody has a long week, blah, blah, blah. But I'd had a long week and then I get, we go up there and there's like a lot of Secret Service getting into, it was at Bedminster Golf Course. So there's a lot of secret service getting into it was at bed minster golf course So there's a lot of secret service getting in there So you got to stop here and this guy kind of touches your pockets or whatever and this guy, you know Somebody's reading your ribs or whatever. They got a mystic out there reading your ribs. They got a

You know people patting you down people patting you up one dude's patting you up. Oh my god this guy, you know, people patting you down, people patting you up. One dude's patting you up. I'm like, oh, this guy's, you know, obviously doesn't have a wife. And so yeah, you stop, there's a couple locations you gotta stop and get frisked and patted and wanded and wizarded. And yeah, they just ask you craziest questions, you know? Like, they'll be like, oh, what's your middle name?

You know, and then they'll be like, oh, does your mother fuck a lot? And you're like, what? I don't questions, you know, like they'll be like, uh, what's your middle name? You know, and then they'll be like, oh does your mother fuck a lot and you're like what? All right, you know, they but they're trying to you know, see where you're at and see if you know anybody from Russia or whatever and then So I get there. Oh and I had like 40 minutes from when I got there to when it was time to do the interview. So only had a limited amount of time and I had to, you know, I had my clothes with me, I had my suit coat and I had two shirts. I had one pair of boots, one pair of regular shoes and bathroom kit, hairspray, just to look the best that you could.

And I was super nervous to get in the room and I'm just kind of making sure the producers, Zach and Nick are there, my tour manager, Bizzle, is there, my right hand man. And so we were, you know, just getting everything like organized and making sure it all looks, you know, um, just like we normally do making sure everything is legitimate and, and then they had, and they had like the flags in the background and like, holy shit, bro, we are, you know, we are. Well, this is like the damn pledge of allegiance came to life, bro. It was, you know, it just felt this is like the damn pledge of allegiance came to life, bro. It was, you know, it just felt super real at that moment.

And there's like a, um, there was a secret service guy. And kind of over to second one corner of the room, I believe it was, it was just a guy and he was kind of by the near the restroom. And so I was like, I'm kind of afraid to go piss or whatever because I didn't want You know, I don't know if they live if they're like listening to you piss whatever. I don't know what they're Everything that they do or whatever, you know, if he's like thinks I'm like, you know using PP or piss or whatever to do like Morse code into the water or something you know I I don't know all their training or whatever so I'm like super

scared in there and I was yeah I ended up just peeing in what they had a cup like a red solo cup that I brought in there with me I peed in it and they just poured it into the toilet dude like along the side of the toilet wall so it would be real quiet you know I just I was kind of I think I was getting super paranoid and then um so anyway it starts to get like uh we talk with his advisors people start to kind of come in just to make sure everything's cool and this room has all been like uh uh, searched or whatever. And, uh, you know, drug dog, bomb dog, a sword. I think they had a sword dog come in. Um, two dogs just came in and were like, who the fuck are these dogs, dude?

You know, and one of them ate a thing of peanut butter crackers that, uh, my buddy had, but, um, so anyway, so we're sitting there and like, you know, I'm going through like my questions and my thoughts and you know, and yeah, I was just nervous. Like, you know, yeah, I was just kind of, mostly I was just nervous, I think. You know, I'd met Donald Trump before a few times at UFC

and I'd met his sons enough so that, you know, right when I saw him, I could say, hey, you know, I met you with Dana White. And yeah, so he comes in and I kind of walked over after he came in, because he was like not in the little place where we're shooting yet and just like you know said hey and just let him know I was thankful for his time and and then we sat down and sorry if this is

getting boring I'm just trying to think we sat down and yeah and then yeah we just went through the interview. And I thought one thing that was nice, I thought it was nice that he said that his son had been the plug to have me come in. I know Dana White had obviously helped a ton and made it happen, but that he'd asked his son, is this a guy's podcast that I should do? So I thought that was kind of neat just to know that he like, you know, checks in with his son Baron or whatever about different stuff, you know? So that was, yeah, it was cool. It just went so fast. I only had a kind of a limited amount of time and it went so fast. And the next thing you know, we had to wrap it up.

And I was like, I couldn't, I wanted to ask like one more good question, but I didn't know what to ask. Um, and I know that, um, sorry, I'm saying, um, a lot guys, I think I'm nervous even reciting this for some reason. I think I just feel, yeah, I just feel like, I think I just feel like a lot of energy or something. I'm not sure.

I feel kind of activated, I guess. That's where I'm at today. So, oh, so I had one more question and I wanted to ask him, Michael Jackson used to live in one of the buildings that he owned. So I wanted to ask him about that because, you know, we've been trying to learn about Michael Jackson. So, yeah, that was it. And then it went pretty quick and then he had to go do something. There was some, you know, the next thing that he had to go do.

And then some of the workers came up, uh, that worked at the golf course and we walked around and took some photos. Um, I got to meet, uh, Ivanka Trump and her husband Jared, which was pretty cool. And it's rich there, dude. They got a nice, they got a pool where all the umbrellas are nice. You know what I'm talking about?

The umbrellas are nicer than, it's the kind of umbrella where they take it away when the rain comes. You ever been to somebody's place like that? Like it rains they put the umbrellas away because they don't want them to get Messed up and if like well, that's its job so they had nice umbrellas they were like probably 200 thread counter 700 and Yeah, and the umbrellas I think had a special pattern on them or something. This was what somebody was telling me.

One of the security guys was telling me there's a special pattern on the umbrellas where birds will not defecate on that, on that umbrella if they're passing by because it's like a optical illusion or something. So I thought that that was pretty cool, man. When you got enough money or enough nice stuff where you're, you know, the birds aren't even shitting on you, you're like, damn, that's nice. And that's crazy to know that just because

if you're poor, the birds shit on you. So that was like, that kind of blew my mind. I was like, damn, I wanna make enough money one day where I'm free of these you know these chains of bird shit or whatever that bind us what else was interesting about it I'm not trying to brag about it I just think that some people would think that it's interesting you know I wanted to talk with him I wanted to learn more about hit just his family a little bit if I could yeah I wanted to talk with him. I wanted to learn more about just his family a little bit, if I could.

Yeah, I wanted to ask that Michael Jackson question and I forgot. I wanted to ask if he thought that he had a better chance of running against Biden or Kamala. Yeah, and then I just wanted to talk to him. I wanted to, I know he had a brother that passed away from alcoholism and I wanted to, just to talk about that, just to learn about it a little bit and see what that was like, you know, because I know that a lot of times we talk about that stuff

on here and if people, if there's a way to talk about it with people. So, but yeah, I was super nervous. It even makes me nervous. I think even thinking about it, uh, I wore like a suit coat or something. Um, and that made me know, you know, that just makes you fucking nervous. You, you know, you just feel like a damn stuffed animal. When you put those things on, you feel like just a little teddy bear or something You know you feel like you're just supposed to date

you know like you're just supposed to get angry at your secretary or something and And then cheat on your spouse or whatever. You know just you know you just feel Like you just can't handle it kind of shit like those jackets kind of make me feel like that too, but I wanted to Be respectful you, it's definitely, it's a respectful environment. And I'd never gotten to talk to a president. I mean, you know, I'd gotten to say, you know, see one kind of in passing and, but it was just fascinating. So that was, yeah, that was fascinating, man. But it was just fascinating. So that was, yeah, that was fascinating, man. And then, oh, this was one thing that was really cool.

So afterwards, there's a restaurant at the golf club in Bedminster. You know, it's really, I mean, it's beautiful. But the grass all looks like it actually went to super cuts. You know, not like just somebody did it with a mower. It's super cuts you know not like just somebody did it with a mower it's like so you know like somebody you know it's like the the lawn looks like it waited in a chair for its appointment with a barber it's just nice and um oh and there's secret service this is the craziest part so

there's people playing golf and then there's secret service. This is the craziest part. So there's people playing golf and then there's just secret little setups of secret service people with, I don't know if they're cannons or whatever, hand cannons or something, artillery just placed in different spots. So yeah, I think you just gotta be careful where you hit your ball over there.

But so there's a restaurant. So we go up there and I'm sitting and I'm eating dinner before I have to leave. I'm getting some dinner with one of his staff members and we're sitting at a table. It's just me and him. The guy I'd been communicating with his name is Alex. Nice guy. Really creative guy. And then Trump comes up for dinner at some point.

I didn't know this. And they play the song proud to be an American when he comes up, right? Which is kind of, it's crazy. You know, it's a vibe and, and, uh, but they play it. And so the song, so everybody's standing up and kind of clapping and, um, and you think the song's over, right? It's a kind of a long song. And then it's like, you think it's like over and then it's like, and I'm proud.

It does it one more time. You're like, all right, let's go for this ride again. And then he sits there. He keeps at his table. He keeps the iPad with the aux cord or whatever. And so throughout the meal, he's just playing songs. You know, he played, what did he play? He played some poison, I think, unskinny bop at one point,

I think, trying to remember. He played, oh, during soup, they played Trick Daddy, which I thought was, that was awesome. You know, I've never had soup to trick daddy and then Baby cuz I'm a thug and then oh at dessert I that during dessert they played smooth criminal Which I thought was the best thing ever, bro So anyway, the whole thing was It was just interesting.

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Oh, something that great that happened recently, we got to go over to Stowe, Vermont and go swimming. They had like a beautiful, it's like a beautiful town. If you've never been there, it's really great. Even in the summer. I think it's a skiing place. But apparently the skiing I think is like east coast skiing, whatever that means. I'm not sure what it means. But during the summer it's nice. They have all these places you can swim and cliffs and we went fishing up on this kind kind of small mountain top or this like really high hill.

Yeah, that was pretty magical. I'd never gotten to be in that area. So that was pretty stunning to be up there and just be even close to where people start talking about lobster. about law. Yeah. It's like, however you can say, whoever says law, the deepest is like the best person in town or whatever it gets to be the mayor. And once you get into Maine and up there out in a, you know, that Eastern Canada, it's like, every now and then there'd be like a Mexican guy and he'd be like lobster and he'd be like hey lobster

this guy he's doing it differently you know cuz there's all there's the old-fashioned white guy who's like lobster and then you'd have the Mexican guy that's like hey lobster you know hey que paso que lobster and then you'd have a brother and they'd be like lost oh lost at all Hey, can puzzle, can lobster. And then you'd have a brother in there and be like, lost, lost at all. Lost, where these hoes at? Lost, lost. So anyway, that's what's going on over here. You're at lobster. Riley Mao, you ever had any lobster? I have.

Nice, brother. And where'd you have it? Is that a traditional food in your aquarium or whatever? Uh, it is not. Okay. Okay, and where'd you have it at, buddy bear? I had it up in Boston. Ooh, yeah. That's where they punch the fucking lobster to death.

They fucking fist to death. They fucking fist cook it. They be like, get it, get it, get it, get it, ow! They hit it 45 times in a row, you know? That's where some girl up there will give a lobster, frickin' BJ wearing a Kevin Euclid's jersey or something. You know, or a Dustin Pedroia jersey and she's up there BJing a lobster. Was it good up there buddy? It was. Nice man. What's been keeping you busy Riley Mao? You know, just working. Oh yeah? Yeah. And

you're feeling good. How's your health in your body and everything? Really good, really good. And how do you know if you're healthy? What signs do you get from your body? You know, just if I feel good, then I feel good. Alrighty. Anything new in the dating world? Uh, kinda.

Yeah, what you got, you little squirrel buddy? What happened? Well, back in March, I had a little incident with a girl. You had an incident? And was, you mean like, was a cops involved or it was? No, it was more, I met her at a bar and then went home with her that night. Whoa, whoa, bro. And where was the Lord, brother? That's what I wanna know.

He was up there. Wow. Okay, bet, man. All right, we'll come back. I want to talk to you about it in just a minute, man. I want to take a couple of calls. I want to look through a little bit of news here. Um, what happened? I see, Oh, Trump brought out RFK jr.

In Arizona. Um, you know, we got to have Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump come on. You know, I loved, uh, Bernie Sanders. I felt like he got really just screwed over by his party. I thought that that was really messed up. I'd always hoped that they would have had a Trump and Sanders ticket. I thought that that would have been interesting. You know, I know people don't like politics and stuff and I'm not, uh, I'm not, I don't really care who people support, you know, I know people don't like politics and stuff, and I'm not, I don't really care who people support.

You know, I think it's good to vote for sure. I sometimes wonder what our vote means anymore, but that's out of our control right now. You just do the best you can and you go vote. That's what I feel like, or for me, you know? I'm not telling anybody, you do whatever you want. But I thought this was interesting though. Oh, because I always thought it would be interesting if you had,

like whoever didn't win the presidency should be the vice president. That way you still, you have to have like a, not an enemy, but somebody who has different views in your same thing so that you guys have to like negotiate and figure out the best thing for everyone. You know, that's something that I always kind of wished, uh, that that's the way that things were, you know? Um, so like if a Republican won, then the Democratic nominee was the vice president and if the

Democratic won then the Republican nominee was the vice president. I always thought that that would be interesting because then it creates constant, constantly where it would seem like you're having to work together to get a solution on different topics and stuff. But I'm novice and things like that, I don't know. Um, but yeah, getting to meet with Bernie was amazing as well. Uh, I'll talk more about that next week. Um, what else was I thinking? Oh, but Trump bought out RFK Jr.

You know, and I love Bobby Kennedy. You know, he and I have been friends for years. Uh, he is, people can think whatever, he's an awesome guy. You know, he's just a good guy. He's he's, I feel like he's just dedicated. He cares. He's smart. Um, and I think he wants wellness for people.

And so that's why I think it was pretty fascinating that, um, that Trump offered him a spot if, if he gets the election. And the Democrats kind of shot themselves in the wiener or the trans wiener or whatever people have to have. And I'm not claiming anybody has anything, but because they should have, you know, they didn't really make it, they made it so hard on Bobby to get on the ballots

that he didn't really have a choice except to um, kind of join a side with, with the hopes and the promise. It seems like that he will get to be, um, in charge of or spearhead the things that he cares about most, which are people's health and getting like big pharma out of our bodies, you know? And out of our influence and everything, I guess. I don't know, I'm rambling. I'm gonna get off politics now because people have different thoughts about it. But anyway, I just thought that

that was interesting. It's funny because it seems like Trump is just being different. You know, even when you saw like when he brought out Bobby Kennedy, he like, it was just more, it felt more thoughtful than he had like spoken in the past. You know, I don't know, just seemed kind of interesting. But I thought that that was, that that's super that Bobby has a chance to get a job, or not a job, because he doesn't need a job, but that he has a chance to get like, to do what he really cares about. I thought that that was pretty super. Um, and then people, you know, you know, people say, Oh, well, Trump, you know,

people often refer to Trump as like a shady businessman, but it's funny because politics now it's not like who's the best person or anything anymore. Really politics. The whole thing is a shady business. more really politics. The whole thing is a shady business. It's a dirty fucking business that's compromised at every corner. It's not about who's the best. It's it's, it's about the, it's so you need a dog in there.

I think that's one thing I'm realizing. You need a dog in there. Cause yeah, politics is just a dirty business. So yeah, you don't, you don't, you don't hire a peacekeeper to do a thugs job. I know that. Uh, so anyway, what else happened? There's a U S pilot. It says here who took magic mushrooms and tried to cut the engines while they

were in, in mid air, I guess. Oh, this is pretty interesting. while they were in midair, I guess. Oh, this is pretty interesting. An Alaskan Airlines pilot who attempted to shut off the engines of a passenger plane mid-flight after ingesting magic mushrooms said his actions were unfathomable in some of his first public remarks

after he was indicted on 83 counts of reckless endangerment. Wow. Unless he was listening to that song, I just wanna fly by Sugar Ray. If he played listening to that song, I just want to fly by Sugar Ray. If he played that while he did it, that's kind of a vibe. I don't know. I've never been a pilot on drugs. What else?

The Taliban says it wants people to visit Afghanistan. I'm good. No, you know, I'm good. And yeah, that's what we got, man. We're gonna get to some calls here in just a second and then we'll check back in with Riley Mao and see what's going on, baby. And seeing if that little bust guppy has some, if he's been churning that buttar, baby, you know what I'm saying? If he's been churning that but tar baby you know what I'm saying if he's been buttering that we'll be right back man when I put my Tommy Johns on I feel good feel comfortable I feel it almost feels just almost

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More like it cares that it's comfortable. No questions with Tommy John. God, it's comfortable and it's warm and cool. It's kind of whatever you need it to be and they have different layers. You can kind of put it together yourself, man. Make your body mean something to you, God. And when you show up in that bed, if it's just you or if it's somebody else, God, you look good. Shop Tommy John right now for huge summer savings. Get 25% off your first order at tommyjohn.com slash Theo. Save 25% at tommyjohn.com slash Theo. See the site for details.

You know, when I started podcasting online, the furthest thing from my mind was having a shop. my mind was having a shop. You know, we have a shop online where we sell different shirts and merchandise from, from the relates to the podcast. And in the beginning we sold one shirt and we sold it out of a basement near Akron, Ohio, and there was some alcohol issues or whatever, and then we, we had to change speed and now years later we've evolved into a full blown store. And I can give a lot of that thanks to Shopify. Shopify, from the launch your online shop stage

to the first real life store stage, all the way to the, did we just hit a million orders stage? Shopify is there to help you grow. Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the U S and Shopify is the global force behind all birds, Rothy's and Brooklyn. And because businesses that grow grow with Shopify sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shop Shopify.com slash Theo, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash T-H-E-O now to grow your business no matter what stage you're

in. Shopify.com slash Theo. All right. Let's take a couple calls here. And as always, the hotline is 985-664-9503. Yeah, and sorry I'm all over the place today, guys. Last week was just, it was crazy, man. You know, it was crazy.

And yeah, everything's good I'm just looking forward to having a break so here we go hi Theo I am calling from Nashville flesh Franklin Tennessee Nashville Tennessee, a beautiful area, small city, big town. Can't cheat on your wife. Not that kind of place. Um, somebody will know. Onward. Um, I have a little like story slash, uh, issue.

Um, I wanted to get your thoughts on, um. I have a friend who has been dating this guy for three months and she already doesn't have like a whole lot of security, not a whole lot of money. And now she's just revealed to me that this guy is, he is homeless. So I just wanted to get your thoughts on that. Yeah. Well, guys are homeless. You know, there's guys, sometimes you see them and they don't, they don't have a home around them, you know, and that's the guys we're talking about. And yeah, I think, look, first of all, if she's dating a homeless guy and she's probably, I'm guessing they're probably making love if they've been dating for three months, then, you know, a vagina is just a little home, bruh. You know what I'm saying?

It's just a studio apartment for you, wiener, baby. And so it's a start, you know? So it may not have the square footage that he's looking for, but I think it's a start, you know? So it may not have the square footage that he's looking for, but I think it's a start. And so I'm just glad to see that. I mean, nothing will make that dude want to get a home more probably. You know? I mean, definitely. I did.

I touch a nice kid. I want to make sure, you know, I want to buy a damn Jeep Cherokee or something. You know, you want to get, you want to get something, you know, it makes you want to, you know, keep trying. So praise God to that. And I'm glad that she's out there servicing those boys. You know, I see some homeless guys, a lot of times I give them a dollar, but I'd love to give them, you know, half a can of Persia or something,

you know, that they could, you know, that they, you know, that they'd really enjoy or something. They should have a dang can Persia. So you could just, you know, you know, crack open a can and give it to, you know, Big Samuel or whoever, you know, whoever's over there just, you know, just nibbling on his own sweater and hoping God sees him, you know, praise God, baby. Let's take another call here. First time caller to this podcast or any podcast. Thank you for the call, brother. And as always, the hotline is 985-664-9503. Onward.

I wanted to call in and say I thought you did a really good job with the Bernie Sanders interview. I thought your questions were well prepared and smart. I thought that you raised sort of good counterpoints to some of Bernie's ideas that I feel like, you know, people might want to hear addressed. Overall, just a really strong interview. Thanks for doing it. Thank you, man. Yeah, I appreciate it, dude. I was so excited. I mean, I was, um... Yeah. Yeah, I'll talk about that a little more next week about what the exact experience was like, but... I'll talk about that a little more next week about what the exact experience was like, but

Yeah, I was just yeah, it was crazy, you know because here's a figure that I thought was really neat and you know, I admire some of his policies and I you know, And some people can say well these guys are all shills for this and I don't know about all that You know, I know that politics is very dirty and I know that even these men will say that democracy is, it's money based. So it's bought and paid for, I mean, you know. But yeah, I liked, well, some stuff that I learned from talking with Bernie, I was able to ask Trump about, you know, so it really helped me. Um, but I like, I just like his vitriol. It just, you know, I like seeing a, you know, my dad was really old when I was a kid. So that's my reference for, I mean, Bernie, you know, Bernie's the age.

How old is Bernie Sanders, Riley? He is 82. He is 82. He's 82. Yeah, so when I was 12, my father was 82. So I see him, you know, just like, you know, I think there's, I don't know, there's something about, I don't know, I can't explain it exactly, but so to see those men still, you know,

going and doing things and having determination for things that they believe in, you know, and then, and then I choose to believe that they believe in them. And yeah, I don't know, there's something about it that, that's all, that, that's awesome to me. So yeah, thank you bro. It was definitely, what was that like? It was so, he just, I'll talk about it next week. I'll talk about it next week, man. Next Tuesday's episode I'll talk about it a little bit. But yeah, I just, I can't even believe it.

I got to see these folks and have them come on. And yeah, and the simple fact about the healthcare, it's just, it's sick. There's a, it's a huge scam. And everybody, we're all just living in this scam and our politicians aren't protecting us. It's unbelievable. So that shit gets me activated, bro.

When people are sick and you take advantage, it's just, but thank activated, bro. You know, when people are sick and you take advantage, I just... But thank you, bro. Not trying to get into policy or, you know, I don't know about policy. What else? Let's do one. Here we go. Hi, this is Richard Aitken from Mississippi. Hey Richard from Mississippi, brother.

Welcome, brother. A long time fan, first time caller. And I just had a thought yesterday. I was on the lake, I was surfing, I was having a good old time. We're driving by and I see this woman on this pontoon boat. And I'm telling you, may be weighed a buck fifty But those breasts probably took up a hundred twenty five pounds of it God and and I looked at her and I didn't even get aroused per se. I just thought I was like man

You need to get on my credit score, you know You ever seen a woman that's so beautiful a rack so nice nice, whether it be a man, a woman or hell, if you're into it, maybe damn animal that just, you know, makes you want to feel like you got to better yourself and seek opportunities in life. Like something that makes you know that you want to go for that promotion. Amen, man. Yeah, thank you for calling, especially from out on the water. And yeah, I was just saying, I was just, we're just talking about this. We're just talking about, you know, something that just keeps you in the game,

you know? Riley, what were we just saying about, I was just, you know what I'm talking about, correlating something with this guy's call? I'm not sure. All right. Shit, I can not sure. All right. Shit, I can't remember. But yeah, dude, sometimes you see a one,

sometimes you see like that some girl had that dang Mount Chessmore. She'll just have a, she'll have damn four presidents in two tits, you know, and you're like, God, you know, for those about to rock, we salute you. It's just that's a thing, boy. She'll have those fucking peanut butter Falcons on her, baby. God, baby, she'll have those fucking land bears.

You know what I'm talking about? Those just just huddled up in herboration, baby. Them things just staying warm for winter, boy. up in Herber nation baby them things just staying warm for winter boy she'll have them fucking milk lobsters yeah god baby and you just want to fucking baptize a mule in them in the milk of those things brother you just want to fucking wash a little just wash a little man's ass with that, with the beautiful splash that comes out of those bad dogs. God. All right, sorry, I'm falling apart here,

but everybody's okay. Let's take another call here. Hey, Theo, this is John from Kansas City. Hey, John. Thank you for calling. Kansas City. We got a show coming up there, I believe, and I'm excited about that, but I've spent some time over there.

You know, it's one of the largest land cities in America. I'll say that right there. Riley, look it up. What cities have the largest land in America? I believe the first one is, uh, Antridge. And the second one. I've got New York. No. No, New York. No, what cities have the largest geography land? All right.

Hey, just chill. I'm going to look it up, okay? All right. List of largest cities in America by land. The first one is Sitka, Alaska. Wow, the first four are all in Alaska. The first one in America is in Tribune, Kansas, the land area, 778 miles.

The first large city, Jacksonville, and then Houston, nevermind. Kansas City's not even, nevermind. Sorry for interrupting your call. Let's hear more, Brother Omward. And I got a question for you. So my dad is currently, you know, doing that powder. And he's been doing it for a while now.

He'll get these episodes where he's just angry. And I don't know what to do about it. So I've always, I want to try to figure out how to help him get back to normal, get back to being the dad that I remember because it's scary. But anyways, I just wanted to see your thoughts about it. See if you can maybe, you know, give me some insights on what I should do. Gang man, thanks for calling dude. Yeah, I'm sorry that your dad's going through that. I don't know if he's an addict or if it's just something

that he's doing for fun, but obviously it's affecting you. I think, yeah, I mean, maybe just try to sit and talk with him and say, Hey, dad, I feel like, you know, don't accuse him, but say, Hey, you know, maybe I feel like this is something that's going on. You know, do you feel like that's something you want to be doing or do you feel like it's a problem? You know, I don't know. do you feel like it's a problem? You know, I don't know.

You know, the only things, the only way that I have had success is through a 12-step recovery. That's the only way I've had success. And, you know, I've had some relapses, but that's the main way that I've found sobriety in my life. And, you know, they have NA, Narcotics Anonymous for drug use. And there's probably even a CA for cocaine use. There is.

So, I don't know, maybe you could offer to go to a meeting with them. Um, maybe you could go to a meeting and ask some people there if they had any suggestions. But yeah, just let him know that you care. And then you could even ask him, if he doesn't want to talk about it, you could ask him, hey, is it okay to ask you about it again? You know in a few weeks or something. Is it okay if I check back in with you about this? Because even then you're opening in a little bit if he if he's willing to say yes, you're opening a little bit of a door You know because people have to be willing to get help for themselves I think and i'm not preaching this is just um

Some of my own experience and things that I've seen. We have to be willing to get help for ourselves, but sometimes I'll notice like if, like if, like I have a friend that's used that trick on me before, and it's a trick really but it's not really You know, you know, he asked me about something if I was having a problem with some He's like do you want to talk about it? Like I don't want to you know I don't want to talk about but then be like hey, is it okay if I talk to you about it again? If I ask you about it again sometime, can I check back in with you about it again in a few weeks? I want to make sure you're okay

And by saying and I would agree to that and by agreeing to agreeing to that, it's slowly making me a little bit willing to hear something different, right? Because that's all your, that's all your, that an addict needs is willingness. They just have to get a little willing and then willingness will grow, right? So sometimes that's a way you, that you can maybe, you know, I'm not trying to trick your dad, and willingness will grow, right? So sometimes that's a way that you can maybe, you know, I'm not trying to trick your dad, but it's also a way where you can create a way, hey, I'm gonna check back in about this.

And then when you do check back in with an addict, it reminds them, oh, this person cares. And connection is really the, is one of the biggest remedies for addiction is connection. So anyway, I'm not sure if some of that makes sense, but you want to get a little bit of willingness out of somebody. So sometimes if you get a no, it's like, hey, can I check back in with you about it? But I'm sorry you're going through that, man, and I'm happy that you care about your dad. And I bet he's not happy about it.

You know, and he probably doesn't know where to start. But yeah, people have to want to help themselves, but sometimes we can help plan a little bit of seat of willingness by creating some patience and a chance for a little bit of mild accountability in the sense like, hey, can I check back in with you? So anyway, man, I love you, brother, and hang hang in there and we'll holler man I'm coming to Kansas City and if you want to bring your dad out to a show I'm happy to get you guys some tickets we don't have to say anything about this but that'd be my treat man. Let's see if we can get one more call.

Hey Theo, this is Alex from Little Olino, Wisconsin. Hey Alex, from up there in Wisconsin, brother. And glad you're here with us today, brother. Onward. I call in here with some good news today. Today, at the date of this call, at this exact time, my mother is 100% cancer free. She texted me, she said she rang the hell out of that bell. That's, I thought I should just... Let's go baby! I'm upstairs!

Gang dog, congratulations man. Wow. I can hear the relief in your voice man. I'm gonna play it again. I wanna hear it again. Today, at the date of this call, at this exact time, my mother is 100% cancer free. She said, she texted me, she said she rang the hell

out of that bell. So. Let's go. I thought I should just bless your day with some good news just as I was. And yeah, man, I just want to say I listen to your podcast every day at work. Get me through it, man. I appreciate what you do. Me and my girlfriend are going gonna see you in Green Bay.

Come to Green Bay. And she surprised me with tickets, which was very great before. She's amazing. All right, well, praise God, baby Gang Gang. Gang Gang! Wow, dude, that's awesome, man. Wow, sound like you got two really great women in your life,

man, it sounds like you choose well. Man, that, it sounds like you got two really great women in your life, man. It sounds like you choose well. Um, man, that's so cool. Man. Yeah. This is that I can't even imagine. God. Yeah. The peace y'all must be able to feel for a little bit.

You know, we don't know sometimes the stresses that are going on in the back of our man. It's like, yeah, one day a friend called me and he said, man, I'm finally getting in a recovery, you know, or in a rehab. And man, I just suddenly just started kind of breaking down. I didn't realize that, uh, that a part of me, it was almost like having a browser window that was open on your computer, but that you're not on the page, had just been running. Or just worrying, the same things that we all have. Just part of me had been invested there and to get to have some peace there, get to have some peace there.

Um, you know, just to feel a little bit of like hope, you know, a little bit of hope for relief and a little bit of relief. So that's beautiful baby gang son. Let's go boy. Be nine, homie. If I'm playing bingo, they call him be nine. I think benign means that mean, that mean the tumor's okay, Riley? Yes. You sure, you think?

I think. All right. All good, brother. I think it is. And no judgment, man. It's, who knows um Alex's mom baby she's off that chemo baby that's cool man thank you for sharing that bro yeah when you share that it just puts something in me, you know? Makes my eyes get up.

Makes my eyes create a little bit of weather in them. You know? That's all right, daddy. That's all right. I got these transformer shades on today. Hair's doing good. Let me see what's up. Hair's doing good.

I'm fucking thug. I'm as today, dog. You know what I'm saying? Where the butter at, babies?? Gang dog. Let's raise a barn homie. I'm about to raise a barn in my pants dog. You know what I'm saying? Because we seeing big big big teats out on the water and cancer free on the land baby. Raleigh Mow. free on the land, baby. Riley Mao.

Let's get into it, man. So what's going on? You had some romance or take me on a, so you said you met a girl and where'd you meet her? You said, I met her at a bar. Oh, okay. And did you just meet her point blank or you had arranged to see her? Um, no, I just met her there. And did you make eye contact or what was...

Was she wearing anything? Was she eating anything? Yeah, she was wearing a dress and eating wings. Oh, damn boy. And you said, damn, baby, I know what'll go with them wings, baby. This little banana pepper, huh? And so what happened then? Did you approach her? Did you bring her some of those little wet napkins what happened um yeah there's an open chair next to her so I sat right next to her wow and did you have a wing did you I did okay, so now you guys have something common. You both are enjoying a wing. And then, I guess what occurred from there? Because it sounds like things escalated.

Yeah, we just kept talking for about an hour. And then she wanted to- Hold on a second. If you had to use four words to describe this woman, because we want to get a visual picture. Four words, right? And all of them don't have to be the most positive. They can just be general words. Some of them obviously should be positive because she seems like a special, or she seems like a neat girl. Yeah. Blonde. Okay.

Cute. Female. Blonde welcome cute. Mm-hmm Female and That's alright, that's good, that's good three's good man. Yeah one more in here. What do you think? Nope. All right. All right. Put that one down actually. Okay man, so blonde, female, what was the third one? All right.

What else happened man man? So, Jesus. Yeah, so I was talking to her for about an hour and she wanted to get in my car and leave. No! Now did she say it or you said it? She said it. And what did she say? She said something like, hey, did you drive? And I said, yeah. Good answer.

And she was like, cool, you wanna leave? And where'd y'all go? Back to my house. No! And now Riley, at this point, you're still in, your ejaculatory promissory note with the Lord is still intact, right? Correct.

Okay. So you're, you've never ejaculated. You have a woman now at your house, right? When you bring her inside, what do you do? Are you playing any music or anything? No, no, it was all quiet. No, you're a fucking, you're one of those silent guys, bro. Put a song on, dude.

But that's okay, that's okay, man. And so what happens when you guys come in the house, where do you sit down at? Well, we didn't sit down yet. You didn't sit down yet, so you walk in? Yep. And what happens? You guys? Just started kissing.

No. And was she taller than you a little? A little bit. So you have to go up on the feet, up on the toes a little to kiss her? A little. That's okay, man, that's fine. A lot of that's gravity.

People, you know, in space everybody's the same height. That's something that's, you know, so who even knows what's happening? But okay, so you guys are smooching in the living room and where are the roommates? They were both gone. Wow. And? And so then, uh,

after that we just went upstairs to my bedroom. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo for you, right? Yeah, no, I was pretty nervous. And what were you wearing, shorts or pants? Pants. Fuck yeah. A move, dude. Okay, so you get upstairs, and then what happened? Do you go in your room? Yeah, go in my room.

And then what happened? Did you guys lay down or were you listening to any music or it's still silent? Still silent. Oh my god, bro What if why is it so silent, dude? Are y'all fucking sneaking up on someone is it hot? Are you guys playing hide and go seekers? Why is it so quiet? I don't know. I just didn't think of putting any music on do you have any pets or was there anything moving around in the

distance or anything? Nope. Hmm, okay. What happened, Riley? Take us there, buddy. Yeah, and then we just started, you know, doing a lot of things. No, you guys laid down on the bed or just standing up?

Oh, laid down. Okay, so you laid down on the bed. Were you closer to the wall or on the outside? Uh, I was on the outside. Wow. It's kind of a, yeah, I think sometimes you're supposed to be closer to the wall so that the woman doesn't feel like you're trying to like, like, capture her or something. I read that somewhere, but, um, okay, so, and what, now were you guys nude or whatever? Um, kind of.

So she had everything off. What? And I still had my pants on. Oh my god. Is she from freaking New Jersey or something? I don't know where she's from. And you still had your pants on? Yeah.

No shirt, huh? Yeah. Wow. Like a fucking 70s actor, dude. Okay. And then what starts to happen? We just kept kissing. Mm-hmm.

And then, I don't know, I just started doing things to her. Oh my God, little buddy. Were you touching her body and everything? Yeah. Okay. And that was your first time ever touching a woman's body like that? Yeah.

Wow. You're going to hell, buddy. I'm joking, man. That's a joke, dude. And did she touch your body as well? Yeah. No. So what happened?

Did you end up? I mean, like, how did it end, dude? You know what I'm saying? Like, did you end up, you know, creaming that little nugget? Or what happened? Did you end up, I mean like how did it end dude? You know what I'm saying? Like did you end up, you know, creaming that little nugget or what happened? I did. No! What?! Riley Mow!

Wow! It's still coming out of your nose sounds stuffed up actually. Wow, brother, I can't believe it, dude. You've been yurping that little frickin' pants pencil, huh? God, baby. You've been balking that little choy, huh? Yeah. Wow, dude. You've been burping that little yellow muppet, homie. Gang, gang, dog. Good God, boy. And was it like, did you let her know as a first time? Yeah, she knew.

She knew? How did she know? I think she has watched the podcast before. Oh, wow. Oh, man. Damn. So you really got compromised man. Damn. So you really got compromised then.

Yeah. Do you feel a little bit taken advantage of? No. Respect. Wow, buddy. Damn, boy, that 11th toe, baby. That'll get you, dude. That 11th toe, baby, that Asian wiener baby praise God Wow

That Wow Wow and so what I Mean did it seem like a lot like cuz you like What and it seem like a lot like cuz you like What and it was like What part of her body was she did you have sex or no? Yes you what? Oh My god, bro, I thought you said you were waiting till you were married Things change Not in the eyes of the Lord, they don't brother. Wow.

You had fricking S C X dude with a woman. Yep. Way to go, man. F bro. That's crazy, dude. And how many times did you guys engage or what did you do after? Did you hug after? No, we both hugged. bro. That's crazy dude. And how many times did you guys engage or what did you do after? Did you hug after? No, we both fell asleep. Oh god. That's romantic dude.

And then what happened? Y'all engaged in the morning again? No, that was it with her. And has she ever come back around? Nope. No. My God brother I can't believe she snuck in and stole that freaking batch baby stole that first pitcher of Kool-Aid out of mom's Christmas closet dude I can't believe that. And did you try to engage with her again? Not with her. But you've been talking to other women? Yes. And you've engaged,

you haven't engaged in sex with other women? Yeah. What? Bro, I feel like I don't even know you anymore. Sorry, man. That is kind of guilt tripping you, dude. I don't mean to be like that, bro, it's just crazy, dude. I just can't believe that you've been out there just nutting all over and everything or just meeting people or whatever.

Gosh. Fuck yeah, because I noticed you look a little different man, you got more like, I know you had some necklaces and stuff on. Is it like, do you feel different? Yeah. What do you feel like?

I don't know, I just feel more alive. Hmm. Do you feel now when you're talking to a woman, like they know that you are about that, you know what I'm saying you about that fucking That hot pocket homie. You know what I'm saying you bout that fucking that third smut You know that you're about that fucking low smile. You know Yeah, you do yeah

So you feel more of a sense of bravado? Yeah. Dang, baby. Praise God. Wow. And did you have to pray about it or talk with your pastor about it? Because I know you were intent on waiting for marriage, man. No. Yeah, no. I haven't talked to them about it.

Have you even emailed your pastor or whatever? Nope. What? Bro, you said you were waiting for marriage and now you're out here just nutting around you know the town or whatever large town and you know now you're out here getting people to pet that baby and you didn't even email the church? Yeah I know. Damn boy And you've been squirreling around that young gravy, homie. And dude, if you'd never ejaculated, the clarity, the post-nut clarity must have been

insane, huh? Yeah, a little bit. I mean, you must've just been like, what the fuck, dude? I'm a little Asian guy. You must've been just mind blown, brother. Wow, man. Congratulations, man. Thank you. Congratulations, dude. I don't see a lot of that. Come over here and shake my hand real quick.

I just wanna shake the hand of a man that's come recently, this year.. Congratulations man. Thank you. Good to see you brother. All right go back. Wow dude. And was there anything afterwards you just like, did you sit in silence after? Do you bow or whatever? Like, what do you? No. No. Did you tell your parents? Nope.

Who was the first person you told? My, who did I tell? I don't remember. Wow, man. That's crazy, brother. People are beating cancer. People are beating off Asians.

People are... The world is blossoming. Our lives are blossoming. Yeah, I guess they are. I don't know. Did you wear a condom, brother? You know what I'm talking about? Or the Lord is your condom? I did. You wore a condom. And what type of condom did you get? A special kind? What type of economy do you get? A special kind? I just got like one of those, I don't know, regular Trojan ones. Okay. Just the regular, yeah, the, I think it's, I don't know if it's pleaded or whatever. I can't remember what some of them are.

That's crazy, man. Did you feel like it was romantic at all? Uh, what the first one no. Okay. But there was a, the second one was romantic. Yeah, that happened to be last week. Wow. And where'd you meet that girl at?

Um, I've been friends with her for, for a while. And finally you guys just took it to another level? Yeah. And is it you guys still talking to each other? Yeah. Okay, so there's something there? Yeah, we're still seeing each other. Damn. Yeah, dude, I can hear your nose has even stopped up with all of that. I think when there's so much in your system,

yeah, I can't believe you didn't just lose weight in your legs, bro, because if you'd never ejaculated, that's just, God is with us here. Oh, gosh. Feel like it's the day after Christmas now, man. Are you relieved that the journey's over? Somewhat, yeah. Do you miss it a little?

A little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, there's something, it's always like, people always say it's about the journey, not the destination, and I think thinking about sex sometimes is exactly when you think back on after you've had sex for the first time,

sometimes it's like, some of that's like that. It's like the not knowing, the curiosity, the uncertainty, all of that is that's really that's where the story is. You know, the other parts the ending. And I'm not not, that sounded like I was preaching there. I was like reading out of a damn Reader's Digest or something. Ah man, well I'm happy for you man. They welcome to, you know, being like a biological male or whatever they call it. And I can't believe you didn't play any music, bro. Bro, if you're the first, bro, if you're putting on some sex or something, dude, you got to play something romantic bro play some zz top play some usher well I didn't know about the music but after I found out what she does as a

job I figured she would have does she have a specialized job? Yeah, she's a stripper. Oh, so you so she's a um Dancer evening dancer they call them somewhere. Yep, or yeah, or sometimes they call them like You know pole babies or whatever whatever it's called candy cane Pussy or whatever. I don't know what they even call it Okay, Wow Candy cane pussy or whatever, I don't know what they even call it. Um, okay. Wow. And do you think she just came down, slurped you out because she knew about it and wanted to just get that gumption out of you? I think so.

God damn, dude! Was she Vietnamese or something? No, definitely white. Wow. And did she keep the, um... Was she Vietnamese or something? No, definitely white. Wow. And did she keep the, I'm not sure what it's called, sebum or whatever? Or like, did she keep the frosting? I don't even call it.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. The Unjackable, the Titanic has sunk. They frickin' came in and frickin', they frickin' uh, somebody came in and just permed that little baby corn on Riley Mao. Yeah and I noticed you just came in with more swagger. I see you got some jewelry on. What is all that? Yeah, just just a couple new things I've got yeah

Just a couple new things I've got baby just a couple little Couple little ornaments on this lobster. I love you guys man Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for supporting me and thank you for supporting yourself. Thank you for, yeah, just letting us be a part of each other's worlds. I don't know what exactly we're supposed to be doing, but I feel like we're supposed to do something big.

I just don't know what it is yet sometimes. But yeah, just hang in there. You know, and give yourself some grace, man. If you're being hard on yourself, if something's bugged, give yourself some grace. You know, that's something recently that I've just like, man, it's like, look, man, give yourself some grace, Theo. like, man, it's like, look, man, give yourself some grace, Theo. You know, you're trying, you're, you're, you know, give yourself some grace.

So I'm not preaching at you. I'm just kind of sharing, I guess sometimes I'm just sharing things that I need to hear. Um, but yeah, I can't believe we got to go interview some of the people we did last week and that was exciting. And, um, yeah, I'm just excited football's back and there's exciting things to think about and be a part of and make sure to just be good to yourself, baby. Cuz you deserve it, baby, gang, gang, Raleigh Mow, man.

We thought that nut would neveraleigh Mow, man. We thought that nut would never get out of you, brother. You have any final words after all of that? No. That checks out, brother. We'll go out the way that we came in here, man. With There Is A Light right here, baby. There Is A Light by Stonekeepers, featuring David Manwell.

Whenever you're down, out in the cold down out in the cold faithless and die your stories untold come take my hand and walk there with me Raleigh Mouw! I know a place where we can be free there is a light Raleigh did you make like a sound or whatever when it happened finally? Uh, no. Nothing. I mean, just breathing out, but. Savage. All that you see, we'll find a place where we can be free.

Where we can be free From the mountain tops Under the deepest valley Hear a voice calling you Is the rising sun Shining in the darkest valley Can you see you'll be free? I have been far, I have been wide Searching for peace, somewhere to hide

Now I am free, open and pure Fearless and bare, I am secure There is no dark that can be lit I will find a way You guys be good to yourselves, baby, you deserve it And, um, love y'all. Praise baby. you