This Past Weekend - E535 Joe Gatto

Starting point is 00:00:00 At Wealthsimple, we're built for whatever you're building. Built for Jane, who wants to break into the housing market. We're built for Ted, who's obsessed with what's happening in the global markets. And built for Celine, who just wants to retire and explore the world's flea markets. So take a moment and think about what you're building for. We've got the financial tools to help make it happen. Wealthsimple built for possibilities. Visit wealthsimple.com possibilities. Some new tour dates coming up. Sioux Falls, South Dakota,

Starting point is 00:00:34 La Crosse and Green Bay, Wisconsin, Moline, Illinois, Colorado Springs, Colorado, Casper, Wyoming, Billings, Missoula, Bloomington, Indiana, Columbus, Ohio, Champaign, Illinois, Grand Rapids, Lafayette, Louisiana, and Beaumont, Texas. Get all your tickets at theovon.com slash T-O-U-R, and thank you so much for the support. Today's guest has been entertaining humans and taking care of dogs for most of his life. And we're lucky to have been on the receiving end

Starting point is 00:01:13 of some of that. You know him from Impractical Jokers. He has a new standup comedy special out on YouTube called Messing With People, as well as a new children's book called Where's Barry? I always enjoy my time and grateful to sit down with just a light of the world. Today's guest is Mr. Joe Gatto. Oh, wow. It's nice. Fantastic. Yeah. Sometimes you just forget where you've been or where you haven't even been, you know?

Starting point is 00:02:16 You never know where you haven't been. Yeah, that's true. Good to see you today. You brought a little buddy, huh? This is my buddy. Yeah, Spimone. Oh, wow. One of my pups, one of my ghetto pups. And how is, it's a man or woman?

Starting point is 00:02:29 This is a woman. It's a woman? This is a woman. Yeah, this is Spimone. And how is she doing? She seems okay, yeah. She's doing alright. Last time we spoke, she's fine, yeah. Yeah, okay.

Starting point is 00:02:40 She's good, she's one of my travel pups. She just comes on the, when I'm not flying a lot and I'm just on one or two and driving, she'll come with me, you know? Yeah. Yeah, she's not a great flyer, but she loves to chill. And yeah, she seems very calm. In Japan, they were giving pills to a lot of those dogs

Starting point is 00:02:56 and so they could take good, cool photos of them. You seen the ones with their tongue hanging out? I know those, I have a lot of those kinds of dogs because I have a senior dog rescue and all their teeth are out. So they just, yeah, they just hang out. That's weird. I didn't know they do a pill induced tongue out.

Starting point is 00:03:10 Yeah, bring it up if the Japanese were... They're taking, they wanted the tongue out. So it was like, it made them like really like thirsty or just, yeah. Yeah, I think it just- Nicotine in the mouth a little bit. It just like, you know, like that, yeah, like. Just cause you're there. Like they lived in Baltimore kind of, you know, like that. Yeah. Like, just cause you're there. Like they lived in Baltimore kind of, you know, like some of these Baltimore

Starting point is 00:03:28 hitchhikers, like bring, bring that up. If they were dropping tongues out in a Japanese, Pilling up the dogs. There's a supplement. No, no, no. Were the Japanese given pills to the dogs? That's a really good prompt. Yeah, you're just looking at medication.

Starting point is 00:03:50 You're just looking at dog pills. Or some of it, they hide a lot of the good stuff. Yeah, that's something you gotta dig deep sometimes. Let's see if they come back for it. That's not gonna be on the first results. No, no, no. Yeah, that's true, man. We gotta learn to go deep, dude.

Starting point is 00:04:04 Sometimes the way that Google finishes your... Do you ever find that, like, no, no. Yeah, that's true, man. We got to learn to go deep, dude. Sometimes the way that Google finishes your... Did you ever find that, like, when you put in something and the way the search engine finishes what you started is more interesting than what you were looking for? And you just go, oh, what is this? And you click that. Yeah, that's really weird. Yeah, and all of them, it's always, like, gay.

Starting point is 00:04:19 It's like... Dead, gay. Yeah, it's all that stuff. Yeah, dude. That shit's always ridiculous, man. Good to see you, bro. Good to see you. It's been a minute, man. Yeah, it's all that stuff. Yeah, dude. That shit's always ridiculous, man. Good to see you, bro. Good to see you. It's been a minute, man. Yeah, it has been a minute.

Starting point is 00:04:29 Last time we saw each other, we were both in the same city on tour and we got some pizza. Yeah, in Milwaukee. Yeah, in Milwaukee. And a pizza took forever, remember? Forever, I went back and got it. Yeah, that was good.

Starting point is 00:04:37 I think we left and you just went, yeah, you went back later that evening. I went to the kitchen and I was like, let me get this later. We ordered these pizzas and they gave it to us, yeah. They owed us some pies, man. Yeah, oh, you went back later that evening. I was like, let me get this later. We ordered these pizzas and they gave it to us. They owed us some pies, man. Yeah, oh, those people were, they did not want to give it up. And I'm like, well, if you don't want to give out the food,

Starting point is 00:04:52 then don't be a restaurant, right? Right, right, this is your thing. This is what you do. Yeah, like I was back there. He was eating, he was back there eating too, the one guy. Yeah, whenever we saw him. Congrats, man, you got a new special out. A new special out, yeah. Your first special. First special. Wow. Messing whenever we saw him. Congrats, man. You got a new special out.

Starting point is 00:05:05 A new special out, yeah. Your first special. First special. Wow. Messing with people, yeah. It's really excited about it. It's out on YouTube and it was great, man. I toured with it for two and a half years

Starting point is 00:05:14 and you know how it is. You don't want the content to just go away. I'm super proud of it. Yeah. So I put it out there and it's great. Was it, when you guys taped it? Come here, come on, come on. Good girl.

Starting point is 00:05:24 When you guys taped it, how many tapings did you do? I did two. Two in one night. I did the Paramount in Huntington, in Long Island. And it was fun, man. Like, it was the first one you know, you get a little nervous. Like, it's all, and I wasn't used to, the jib almost knocked me out like four times,

Starting point is 00:05:38 because I'm very physical on stage running around, you know? So I ran to like the sod and the jib was like right there. I almost got like knocked out, but it was good. It was really cool. the sod and the jib was like right there. I was kind of like knocked out, but it was good. It was really cool. Yeah. And the jib is like the camera. That's the camera that's on the arm. Yeah. On the arm, yeah.

Starting point is 00:05:51 Oh, you forget, right? That's for everybody at home. Yeah, just because some people don't know, you know? Some people don't know what's going on. Yeah, there you go right there. That's it, yeah. Did some of the other jokers come out? Yeah, they came to the taping.

Starting point is 00:06:05 Sal came to the late taping, I think. And then the next, I was working that week and then Q came out and stuff. But yeah, it's good. They come and see me. I see them when they're on the road. It's fun. We try to give each other the support.

Starting point is 00:06:16 You know how it is. Have you gone to one of their shows? Do you still do the touring show with them or no? No. Right. No, so I did. They just wrapped up their last tour and I came out on stage there.

Starting point is 00:06:27 And then when they did Radio City, I popped out. That was really fun. That's cool. When I came to Radio City, it was so cool. It was really great. The place exploded. Wow. It was really nice, yeah.

Starting point is 00:06:36 Have you missed that aspect? Cause they just came out with their last, the 11th season, right? Of their show. Yeah. Of Jokers. Yeah, they're doing that now. They just wrapped shooting that one.

Starting point is 00:06:45 I think they got another one. But yeah, I mean, you know, you're missing with your friends. The hardest part for me is like, it's appointment friendship now, right? Like you got to think about like, you used to see each other all the time. And now it's like, you know, like I feel like I haven't seen you in forever, right? When you see them, it's like they're working together or doing something. You're trying to find a time together. So that gets a little tricky.

Starting point is 00:07:04 Yeah. You know, so, but everybody always asks, you still friends? find a time together, so that gets a little tricky. Yeah. You know, so, but everybody always asks, you still friends? I always tell people, no, I hate those guys. Like, I'll just say stuff to mess with people. People are like, do you like them? I'm like, no, we don't talk anymore. I was saying for a while that Sal had slept with my wife.

Starting point is 00:07:15 That's why I laughed. It was so fun. He's like, dude, you gotta stop saying that. Someone's gonna believe you. But yeah, it's good. We're still boys. Yeah. Just trying to see each. We're still boys. Yeah. Just trying to see each other gets a little tricky.

Starting point is 00:07:26 Yeah, I think that just gets trickier as you get older, too. Like, just being an adult, it's like everything gets more appointment. That's why I miss like, it's like, you never know when you're in high school and college and stuff like that, that those are going to be the greatest times. Because everybody is just there. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:07:45 Yeah. Everybody's, you're going to bump, the bump into factor of a college campus, right? You might just bump into somebody on the way to the CAF or something. Yeah. That's totally different because you're all enclosed like a community.

Starting point is 00:07:53 It's like a cult almost. Like you're living on this, you know, the stockade. Yeah, dude. That's one thing it's like, but you don't realize that when you're there. Like I remember whenever I was like graduating high school or whatever, I was like, thank God I'm graduating. But then you don't realize that when you're there. Like I remember whenever I was like graduating high school, whatever, I was like, thank God I'm graduating.

Starting point is 00:08:07 But then you don't realize that like 10 years later, you do anything to go back and have one big full day of high school. Yeah, for sure. But there was some people you were looking forward to getting rid of too. That was the bad part, right? That's the other side of it. Like, I cannot wait till I don't have to see this person again. Like the ROTC guys were really at our school were very, they kind of acted like they were like a gang

Starting point is 00:08:26 sort of or whatever. You know like those guys with the wooden guns you'd see them after school or whatever. And they wouldn't even have like the part of the gun that like had the bullets in it or something. It's like a glorified stick. It was the right shape of a stick. Yeah and they would be running through the halls like yelling different quadrants at each other and shit. Doing this stuff and signaling. You're like, guys, I'm getting to algebra. Get out of my way. Yeah. I didn't, uh, we didn't have ROTC at our school, but we definitely had, um, different cliques. Cause I went to an all boy Catholic high school. So all boy school definitely had like a different type of like clique set up kind of thing where you had your jocks

Starting point is 00:09:06 and your mathletes, which I was a proud leader of. Were you? Yeah, yeah, math guy. Yeah, so I was like geeky, but I was a bowler. We talked about this just quickly. I was on the bowling team and stuff. So it was like a different thing. But then humor, like once people found you were funny

Starting point is 00:09:20 in high school and you're with all dudes, I think it's a different thing. I think it's like, oh, you know, and then people like want to be around you and having fun. So once my humor started coming out, it was a different animal. That was so much fun. Yeah, dude, being funny. That was like them.

Starting point is 00:09:35 Yeah, I think that's what it was too. Cause you always had an audience around. You always had like, everybody was right there. So you could make so many jokes and references and like you'd see each other in the hallway in between classes. And that was the weirdest thing. Cause you had like one second where you were passing your buddy in the hallway and you got to just.

Starting point is 00:09:53 You got a drive by. Yeah. Yeah. I was known for pratfalling in high school. So I used to pratfall into my Spanish class every day and Mrs. Lonzo, my teacher, always thought it was this guy Mike Irving that was tripping me. And she would always give him detention on him. He was like, my teacher, always thought it was this guy, Mike Irving, that was tripping me and she would always

Starting point is 00:10:06 give him detention on it. He was like, dude, you have to stop, stop, it wasn't me. And I was like, oh, he tripped me, you know, like that. So when I got my diploma, my mom knew that I was big and my mom was always like, you know, you had to be respectful, so we're getting my diploma. And everybody's like, trip, trip, trip. Like they all want me to fall on stage.

Starting point is 00:10:22 And my mother like threatened my life. She's like, if you trip on stage, you're done. You're dead. I was like, God, I can't make my mom mad. So I don't get it. Then I surprisingly get an award. I got an award. They were like, they were giving out these awards.

Starting point is 00:10:33 And one of them was some of the, and I look at my father and he goes, and I went up. And when I went to get the award on stage, I bit it. And I, like, fell off the stage. The place went absolutely nuts. It was so funny. I was like, that's the reason why I won that award so I could have my moment. Yeah That's class. Yeah

Starting point is 00:10:51 That shit was so much fun man. Yeah, you think about just do you have friends from high school anymore? Yeah. Yeah Yeah, you don't keep in touch with yep. I still got actually a pretty decent amount I've always done a good job of like trying to and connect every now and then and just see what's up with folks, but are definitely from high school. Yeah, so I keep them in contact pretty decently with some of them. Who's your oldest friend? Do you have somebody from?

Starting point is 00:11:15 My buddy Scott from where we was in second grade or whatever. Oh wow. This went to his wedding, he had a destination wedding. Oh, yeah. We're on the same page. You mean a forced vacation for you? It is, yeah.

Starting point is 00:11:32 And then some people can't be there, you know? And then they feel bummed out about it. For sure, because somebody had to miss it. And then both people feel bad. Yeah. There's two different schools of thought about it. You know, but. Because the other school of thought is what?

Starting point is 00:11:45 It's like you're making a memory for everybody that can make it. And you're making it more of like an event. And you're spending your money. You might as well get this big memory out of it instead of being at a hall hitting the Queens and spending all this money. But for me, we almost did it.

Starting point is 00:12:00 But at the end of the day, I feel like it's a lot, it's a big ask. Yeah. Yeah. Did you ever renew your vows? So after we got back together, my wife and I, we were thinking about doing that. And then we just- Did you guys get divorced or no? No, we just got separated. You got separated.

Starting point is 00:12:13 Separated for two years. And then- Oh wow, it's a long time. Yeah, it's a long time. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, I had never lived alone. So I was 47 years old for my first time living alone

Starting point is 00:12:23 in an apartment. Did you get an apartment? An apartment. Yeah. An apartment. No, if you, look, if you and your wife get separated first time living alone in an apartment. Did you get an apartment? An apartment. Yeah. No, if you look, if you and your wife get separated, you have to get an apartment. You can't get a house. You can't get a house. You're in the, you're in the tension.

Starting point is 00:12:33 No, that's what, that was actually the reason kind of like why we got back together was I had put a bid in on a house. Cause it was like, okay, this is not happening. And I was like, I'm a grown man. I'm not going to live in this apartment. I needed a yard. I had my dogs. I'm like, I just didn't want, there was a fire drill in my building.

Starting point is 00:12:50 I'm outside 1130 in my robe. And so I was like, are you Joe from a practice? I'm like, get the hell out. Like this is my life right now. So I was like, yeah. So I, I put a bit on a house and I didn't get it. Could you imagine you're going to the fire drill of your building and Joe is there in his bathrobe.

Starting point is 00:13:05 I was like, oh. Two dogs in my arms. Like Cruella Joville. You're just out there with a fucking million pups. So it was like, yeah, so it was rough. And then, so then I put a bid on a house and I didn't get it. And then I was like, oh, I had to look at another house.

Starting point is 00:13:18 And I said to her, I was like, oh, what about, I was like, I'm looking at this house. It wasn't too far from the kids. And she just went, do you want to get back together? And I just instantly, I just went, yeah, do you? And she goes, yeah. And that was the first time we said it out loud. We both weren't thinking we were going to.

Starting point is 00:13:30 We were afflicted on it after. And it was just that moment. And we just, we were in a, I was doing a dog event in the city and we were waiting in the hotel room for the dogs to be ready. She was napping, I was working. And then we just started talking for like four hours. And I said, okay, let's give it a couple of months.

Starting point is 00:13:43 I'm not going to move back home. Let's make sure it sticks, make sure we wanna do it. And it did, well worked out. So then I came back home. But living alone was like so weird. I didn't even like hang stuff on the walls. It was so sad. It was like those white freshly painted sheet rock.

Starting point is 00:13:56 You know, yeah. I hung like one picture and then I was like, I don't even know if I like that there, you know? It was just like, felt like you had to. Went on Wayfair and I bought a bunch of like discount furniture and I go to the house, there's all the nice furniture. And I'm like... You're like, hey, at least let me come back and shower.

Starting point is 00:14:10 Yeah, you got that good loofah. Wow, and what did you, right after you guys decided, okay, we're going to do that, did y'all go eat somewhere or something? We did. We had dinner that next, well, I always went to the house for dinner. The kids didn't know any sort of disruption. So that was always well, I always went to the house for dinner. The kids didn't know of any sort of disruption.

Starting point is 00:14:27 So that was always good. I was always at the house having dinner, family dinner. I was always still very involved. The kids didn't really know anything because at the time, they're nine and seven now. So they were between six and eight or whatever. And the next night we went to one of our favorite restaurants in town.

Starting point is 00:14:42 And we just had a nice date night, and it was nice. And then we went away, just the two of us, and for a night up at this farm in upstate New York, and just all worked out. You know, it was a lot of conversations. Yeah. A lot of hard stuff you gotta talk through, a lot of forgiveness and talking about, you know.

Starting point is 00:15:00 I think the biggest thing always is in any relationship, you always, especially with your significant other, you always think it's your soulmate, and you know what they're thinking and you just don't. Like people, as well as somebody, you just have to say it. So we just started talking. I just opened up everything, you know? Dude, the craziest thing is how hard it is to say stuff,

Starting point is 00:15:16 even if like you're with the person you're married, it's like, and they would rather you probably say it so you can get to the next part, but we just hold the fucking words. Yeah, and then you get mad that they don't know what you're thinking. That was the funniest thing. I used to say that to Arton.

Starting point is 00:15:30 I said, you get mad because I don't know what you're thinking. I didn't have no idea. I'll admit, I don't know what you're thinking. I'll never know. You know, so that's like the biggest thing I found in relationship is really, as we starting to like get through it again, it's like, just say what you're feeling.

Starting point is 00:15:41 Life's too short, man. Just say what you're feeling. Yeah, just say, I wish your legs were longer. Longer. Just get longer legs. How'd you know? Did she tell you that? What was the thing?

Starting point is 00:15:49 She's like, Joe, I wish you were five. I wish you were six foot, man. You had longer legs. No, yeah, I don't know. I mean, that shit's all that stuff's complicated, man. But that's awesome, man. Congrats. So that feels good then.

Starting point is 00:16:01 Yeah. So you got the family back on track. Got back on track, baby. Yeah. I'm a real dad, which is nice. I feel really tight with the kids. Good partner. It's all, it all feels good now. Yeah. Yeah. And creatively I'm doing everything. That's good. You know, it feels nice to be able to dabble in different stuff and. Did you, oh, your kids came to the special cause I saw them. You give them like a hug for you on stage. Yeah. They gave me the microphone before.

Starting point is 00:16:23 One you gave a hug and one you gave a high five. Yeah, I gave the high five to my son. He was super nervous. He was? He was like, yeah, he's cute. She is like me, dude. She comes out for a bow. She loves it all.

Starting point is 00:16:34 She's all about it. My son is a little bit more of a wallflower, but he really likes to laugh and to make me laugh. And we do like fun. Oh, there. That was a thing. All good. So yeah, that's the kids. So the, you know, there's Jake, there's Jakey, yeah, Mark.

Starting point is 00:16:49 Yeah, he's my tour manager, he's on tour with me. But then yeah, this is my daughter and my son there. Oh, that's awesome. And yeah, he's really excited. I gave him a little smile too. Oh, you gave him a hug, sorry, yeah, I mean you didn't, yeah. Yeah, I love my son, don't try to. Yeah, it was definitely.

Starting point is 00:17:01 I already see the clip, she oughta love his son. Flitting my ears, dude. I'm sorry. Startin' to start your drama. I was trying to, I already see the clip, Jonah's a loving son. I'm splitting my ears, dude. I'm sorry. Startin' to start your drama. I was trying to remember that. Yeah, dude, Jiggy was there. That's awesome, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's with me all the time.

Starting point is 00:17:13 He's on my new tour with me. He's my feature. He comes with me the whole time now. He's great, he's so funny. He has one of the best stories. I don't know if he turned it into a show, into a stage bit. It's like, he met a girl on an airplane, right?

Starting point is 00:17:24 So he's on an airplane. He's sitting next to like this beautiful Brazilian, Brazilian girl he said, and like the plane kept getting delayed or whatever. Finally they get them all off the plane and it's like midnight. They're not going to leave till the next day. And the girl's like, you can come stay with me or whatever, you know, or at least she says, she could have said goodbye and Brazilian, but that's how he took it. She's like, why is this guy in my car? He's following her out of the airport.

Starting point is 00:17:53 Her grandmother comes and picks her up, right? So now they are all the, he and this girl he just met stay at the grandmother's house and they just had, it was like a big studio. So they're sleep in one bed altogether. And they watched, I think they watched Saving Private Rock. Which is amazing. A real warm and romantic story. It's like the house in like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory where everybody sleeps in the same room, in the same bed.

Starting point is 00:18:20 It's all the old kid and all the parents. Oh yeah, with grandpa Joe or whatever. Grandpa Joe is there, yeah. That's hysterical. And then, yeah, cause I think he thought he was gonna go to this kind of romantic night and then he just stayed in there all, yeah, and I guess something else occurred,

Starting point is 00:18:34 but it was pretty unbelievable. But yeah, that story's great. He met the family already though. Oh yeah. That's good, yeah. And they, oh, he said that they had popcorn and then, yeah, and then I guess they all fell asleep or whatever. He, oh, could you imagine being somebody who came home from work and that's where you see they,

Starting point is 00:18:52 like, where they pick up this straggler he came in. He's the best to go on tour. He's just a bundle of joy and like energy. He's just so positive and fun. Like we click really well on that, but he gets like, we make fun of him because Steve Burns on the road with us a lot too. And we love to watch him eat when he's hungry

Starting point is 00:19:08 because he literally, if you, he doesn't know you're watching him, I'm not even kidding Theo, he'll go like, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum. He'll be like excited to eat, and he'll be like doing yum, yum, yum, yum, and he moves his hands and you just watch him. He's just like a little kid for the first time and I'm like apple pie, like it's so funny.

Starting point is 00:19:23 I'm like dude, you're a grown adult, man. You have a child. Like, what are you doing? He gets so excited, yeah. Yeah, he's classic, man. He's so funny. Yeah, his energy is some of the best energy to be around. Yeah, for sure, for sure.

Starting point is 00:19:37 Yeah, what's gonna, oh, Dikembe Matumbo died. You see that? No, did he? Yeah. Oh no, when? He just died, brain cancer. 58. That's young.

Starting point is 00:19:48 That is young, 58. The committee went on the Hall of Fame finger wagging center. Yeah, he did that, remember? He did the whole thing with the big finger, yeah. He kind of gave, I wonder if after he did that, is that when they came out with those finger things or not? You know, I think those were, I think those were where number ones.

Starting point is 00:20:02 I think that's where that comes from. Oh, I see. But I think people started using it as it wasn't intended. Yeah. This was not for this, this was for this. Yeah, we're number one. I was like, no, no, no, no.

Starting point is 00:20:12 No, you're not. Yeah. Yeah, dude, he had that, that was wild. The finger wag, yeah. That's funny that that becomes like your thing. Yeah. But then you have to do it all the time. Right, people are waiting for it.

Starting point is 00:20:23 Yeah, people are always like taking photos and people are like, can you do the- Yeah, could you do this? time. Right, people are waiting for it. Yeah, people are always taking photos and people are like, can you do the... Could you do this? Yeah. It's like me getting yelled Larry. If you're like, yeah, I can do this. What do you get asked the most, do you think,

Starting point is 00:20:31 when people want to take a picture with you? Or when people see you, what is the thing that they... What's Bobby Lee like? Yeah, that's what you get all the time, right? Yeah, tell me about Bobby Lee. Is he real, is it real? They'll say, they'll call him an it, and I'm like, that's crazy. Uh, are they referring to Bobby?

Starting point is 00:20:48 I don't know. Some body people don't believe in like people of the orient, but, uh, and also look at the guy. I mean, there's, you know, for sure. There's definitely 50 shades of Shezwan right here. So there's a lot going on. Uh, then after we got to interview Trump, I get asked about that a lot. Oh yeah, for sure. Just what it was like to be there or something. We got to go up to Bedminster, New Jersey. That was nice up there. Yeah, I think I talked to you when I saw you,

Starting point is 00:21:12 there was just the rumblings that you might have been able to sit with them. And I think you told me you were like, dude, it's crazy. I might be able to do it. So that had to be a wild experience. Yeah, it was crazy. Yeah, it was definitely. That took a long time to come together, I imagine.

Starting point is 00:21:21 It wasn't like a. It was kind of on and off and then it was just on, you know, but it was definitely interesting. Don't think, don't think, uh, I didn't notice you put on a suit jacket. Thanks. They're on a jacket. Yeah, I appreciate it. I think it's been at two funerals and one presidential interview. It's on its way up. Here you go. Yeah. The Kimbe had that thing. Dude, which finger, what finger is used for different stuff the most? Do you think this is for?

Starting point is 00:21:48 Yeah, this is always good and this is always bad, right? This is good. This is bad. This one is. So yeah, this is bad. This is, this is never good. This could be bad with a thumbs down. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:21:58 I think every, every finger has a personality. Kind of for sure. Yeah. Right. So you could use this for that. This is, this is kind of, This is probably the most useless, right? The ring finger. Well, unless you...

Starting point is 00:22:09 When you were a little kid, this became a big, cause you'd be like, I'm not giving you the finger. Oh, that's true, huh? You would hide it. You'd hide it like, oh, I'm just kidding. But this one is also the ring finger. So it also is like the... Signifies, yeah.

Starting point is 00:22:19 Someone has claimed you. Yeah, you're locked in. You've been claimed. Yeah, your own. Yeah, this is for hitchhiking too, used to be. Hitchhiking, the thumb is the most versatile, I think. Hitchhiking, you're the best, kill them. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:22:32 Kill them, right? Murder. This is a murder indicator, straight murder. What are we doing here? Yeah. Yep. This is the first thing I taught my kids, by the way. That was a parenting hack I heard from somebody.

Starting point is 00:22:40 Thumbs up. Teach your kids, because a lot of times your kids are like far away if they're scared or something. Teach them to give you a thumbs up if they're OK, or a thumbs down if they're not. Because if you can't see them, or if you only see them, you can't hear them. So I have my daughter on top of this huge slide down

Starting point is 00:22:54 where I was by a playground. And I was scared for her life. I'm like, OK. And she's like, and then she went. And I was like, OK, crazy. Yeah. Oh, and then you do this thing, right? That means help me.

Starting point is 00:23:03 I'm taking, call Liam Neeson. That means I need some help. That's what that means? Yeah, this'm taking, call Liam Neeson, right? That means like I need help. That's what that means? Yeah, this is like, this is the thing. Like if somebody goes, yo, there's like the wink back in the day, like something's up. If somebody does this to me.

Starting point is 00:23:12 I'll wave it back. I'm like, you're so cute. Yeah. It's like a puppet show. Yeah, I'm leaving, dude. Yeah. Dang, brother. Yeah, I can't believe that, man.

Starting point is 00:23:22 I can't believe that we only get five fingers. Have you ever been so mad that you double-barreled somebody with a double, like, F you? Like, that's a different level of getting somebody angry, that they're like, I need both hands. Well, if you do this, this, and then you're a wreck, too, it's a third, if you hit them with that. I've only done that once.

Starting point is 00:23:38 I don't like to talk about it. These are just predecessors, you know what I'm saying? Then it's the big finale. Yeah, then it's the big finale. Yeah, that is the big finale. The double guns, they call that, right? I wonder if in every culture that means this, every culture of people, that's like world like all over.

Starting point is 00:23:54 Like if you were in like the jungles of Zimbabwe or something and you saw it and you were angry at some dude, some guy popped out and surprised you. He thought you were a, like a... Warthog? Yeah, a warthog or something. He tries to stab you with his stick or whatever, and you'd be like, ah.

Starting point is 00:24:07 Ah, you didn't get me. And then he high fives it. You're like, wait, what does this mean? It's good? He's like, got you. The high five and stuff too, like all those gestures, they all come from somewhere, which is so weird, right? The high five is kind of crazy.

Starting point is 00:24:18 If a dude was like, hey, man. Yeah. Hit it. That was good. That was good. Yeah. Just smack my hand. Just smack my hand. Just smack my hand.

Starting point is 00:24:26 Cause that feels not even that cool. Just when we did it now, but weird. Yeah. Cause it was, it was very soft. You got to really do it. Yeah. Glenn Burke, a former outfielder for the Los Angeles Dodgers is accredited with inventing the high five during a game against the

Starting point is 00:24:42 Houston Astros October 2nd, 1977. Wow. So I'm only one year older than the high five during a game against the Houston Astros October 2nd, 1977. Wow. So I'm only one year older than the high five. Wow. When he ran toward home plate and raised his hand and greeted a teammate who had just rounded the base after home run. Wait, so why did I give it to him? Who's a teammate?

Starting point is 00:24:57 Cause he just had his hand up. He was just doing a hand in the air. The guy who high five Glen Burke. Oh, is Glen Burke the guy that did it? That's crazy. One guy was a white supremacist and then he came by and said, you know what? He ran into it. He was waving to his grandmother in the stands. He's like, Hey, mom.

Starting point is 00:25:11 He's like, Hey, your whites are so am I. And he just said, let's make it happen. That's crazy. That is crazy. The high five, dude. Yeah. The fist bump, it seems. Do you ever get the aggressive fist bump where somebody just fight your fist? They don't know how to, they just punch you in the hand. Cause like you meet a lot of people, right? You don't always want to be touching people and stuff, right? You're like, Oh aggressive fist bump where somebody just fights your fist. They don't know how to, they just punch you in the hand. Cause like you meet a lot of people where you don't always want to be touching

Starting point is 00:25:27 people and stuff, right? You're like, Oh, fist bump. Sometimes you'll do fist bumping. And then people just come in to you and hit you hard. Like they just punch your hand. Or yeah, sometimes people will keep pushing against your hand. Like push your back. Yeah. You're trying to move me? What am I doing? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:25:38 But yeah. And also people have, a lot of people have sweaty, wet hands now. Yeah. It's a thing. Oh, it's gotten way worse. And when I was a kid, everybody's hands were dry, right? Like, you know, sometimes you'd see like some facial sweat or somebody with like, who never shaved their neck,

Starting point is 00:25:53 they'd have like a lot of sweat and hair on their neck or whatever, but you didn't see people's hands just, you know, shuffling. Yeah. The worst is when you're done with it, now this is your sweat that I have on my hand, what am I gonna do with it? Am I gonna ruin my pants?

Starting point is 00:26:06 Am I finding a piece of furniture? Like you have to figure out where to put it. Yeah, they don't give you any direction that's like, hey, here's some wet me. This is your problem now. Yeah. This is some wet me that you have to deal with. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:26:20 For today, yeah. One little wet me. Dude, somebody said that Pharrell, the singer, had really dry hands. Dry. Somebody told me that once. I remember that. That he wasn't like, he wasn't sweaty or was it dry to the fact that it was like, you felt it was like champagne.

Starting point is 00:26:36 Yeah. Like, wow. Yeah. Very dry hands. It could be from mixing those albums or whatever. Gets calluses. Yeah. That could be it. He works with his hands.

Starting point is 00:26:45 Yeah. That's a good point, man. This episode is sponsored by prize picks. Do you love firing on sports? Well, prize picks is the best daily fantasy sports app for you. Sign up today and get $50 instantly. When you play $5, you don't even need to win to receive the $50 bonus, it's guaranteed.

Starting point is 00:27:09 You can fire on all your favorite sports like the NBA, NFL, UFC, and many more. What I like about prize picks, personally is that instead of choosing teams, you choose individual players. Each player has a set projection and you either choose more or less than that set projection. If you're smart with sports

Starting point is 00:27:31 and you know what players are gonna perform on what nights, PrizePix is the best app for you. I played this weekend on some of the NFL games and I won, I won something. First time users download the PrizePix app, use code Theo, and PrizePix will instantly give you $50 on your first lineup of $5 or more. No strings attached.

Starting point is 00:27:56 Put in $5 and instantly get a free $50. This episode is sponsored by PrizePix and we thank them. Today's episode is sponsored by PrizePix and we thank them. Today's episode is sponsored by Morgan & Morgan, America's largest personal injury law firm. For over 35 years, they've been fighting and winning for the people just like you and me. They've won so many cases, they've racked up more than $20 billion

Starting point is 00:28:22 in recoveries for their clients. That's right, billion with a B. And because they've got your back, I'm excited to announce that they're offering one lucky listener $2,000 and two tickets to WWE's Royal Rumble. Entering to win is easy, just text TPW to 4, the number four, The People. That's TPW to 484-373-6742. Or click the link in

Starting point is 00:28:54 the description below if you're watching on YouTube. That's right, no purchase necessary. This sweepstakes is open only to natural persons who are legal residents of the 48 contiguous United States, including the District of Columbia, who are 18 years of age or older. Sweet Stakes ends 10-31-2024. For entry and official rules, visit morganwwe.com. Void where prohibited. What a day, man.

Starting point is 00:29:22 What else is going on? Those storms, dude. It's so heartbreaking. I know, I know. I had a show in Evans that I had to reschedule. No, did you? Yeah, I got my one off in Savannah, and then went to the Evans won the place, you know,

Starting point is 00:29:37 the power, they didn't have power in the theater. Evans, Georgia? Yeah, Evans, Georgia. Yeah, it was tough down there. And then they were like, you know, we don't have power. I was like, we're not going to do comedy by candlelight. Like, what do we have to do with it? We have to reschedule it.

Starting point is 00:29:50 So. Yeah. But down there, the people are so like equipped to handle it and be like, it's such a community when stuff like that happens down there. It's crazy. Like, because we were there and there was people going, driving over to be like, oh, we're just going to go get, they had like family and whatnot. I was talking to somebody at a restaurant and to be like, oh, we're just gonna go get they had like family And whatnot. I was talking to somebody at a restaurant

Starting point is 00:30:06 They were like, yeah, we gotta go pick up my aunt like they just like know what to do and they just write ready for it It was yeah people in the south are really dialed in with their families, you know being close with your families Like it's one of the main things. Yeah, you know, and everybody has a truck. Everybody wants to help out. Everybody has a truck Yeah, that's so different. You know down there everybody's got's got, yeah, Kenny, he's got, call Tim. He's got the, you know, cousin Tim's got it. He's got the truck. People are like, I don't know one person with a pickup truck in New York. I don't know one person.

Starting point is 00:30:33 People are like, I'll fucking help out right now. What do you need me to do? Everybody knows CPR or knows a fireman that says he knows CPR. And then when he has to prove it, it's a problem. He's just blown in this guy's face. Yes. I was in a situation where somebody was choking on, I jumped into action.

Starting point is 00:30:52 Uh-uh. Yeah, our tour manager, our tour manager had this, we didn't know he had this. Where we all eating at. No, he was signing, we were doing the settlement down at the, we were in the hotel ballroom, one of the things at the hotel, we had a little room and he was signing the check

Starting point is 00:31:09 to pay us for the weekend. And he had this condition when he coughed, he would lose his breath and just like pass out, but we didn't know that. So we started coughing and he was talking through it, right? So it's me, Sal, and Murr, and he's coughing, he's like, and he just goes, and he just shuts down and so

Starting point is 00:31:26 I'm sitting next to him on one side, Murray's on the other and Murray just starts shaking goes, is this guy saying who's Jeff? He's like Jeff, Jeff, Jeff. So I hopped up and I was like alright I gotta do something but I didn't do the high-lats. I did like it over the shoulder like seatbelt like and I just started like shaking him trying to wake him up. Sal ran over and it was at the Hoyt Sherman near near the Hoyt Sherman Theater, and he ran and grabbed the phone that was connected to the bell desk. And he was like, call 911 instead of calling 911. He yelled at the phone.

Starting point is 00:31:53 And I'm hugging him and I'm like, oh. And then all of a sudden he just came back to life and he's like, oh. And I'm over his shoulder. And he goes, did it happen again? And we're like, what are you talking about, dude? Yeah, so I had no skills. The only person that had any skills was Q because he was a fireman and he was in bed.

Starting point is 00:32:08 So we couldn't even help. Hey, that's typical fireman, dude. If there ain't a fire, dude, put a hot dog in my jaw and I'm going to sleep. Done. Yeah, so I'm not equipped for any of that emergency stuff. Yeah, that's scary, dude. We had a one time me and my buddy Scottie,

Starting point is 00:32:24 the same guy I was talking on earlier, we'd eaten some LSD, right? And, uh, and we were children, man. And so we went, uh, we got to the waffle house, you know, and we were so excited, you know, it was like four AM at the waffles and there was, and we were laughing so hard, dude. We had the giggles so hard and they had a gay gentleman working there, right?

Starting point is 00:32:53 And we never seen a gay gentleman. We'd heard about her, seen drawings of like a guy like grabbing somebody's wiener or something, see somebody chisel that into like a tree or into like a side of a bridge or something, but we'd never seen like a gay gentleman. In the wild. Yeah, yeah. In the wild, dude.'d never seen like a, you know, when it really- In the wild.

Starting point is 00:33:05 Yeah, in the wild, dude. And in the wildest place on earth, bro. The fucking halfway house that has a waffle maker, you know? So we're in there, dude. And he's like being real, like, he had like as much gay as you could have inside of somebody, like for his frame or whatever. And you could just see it kind of bubbling out

Starting point is 00:33:26 of his shoulders every now and then, you know? And we were laughing so hard, my buddy Scott, like when he laughs, he kind of does like this choking thing. So the guy thought that my buddy was choking, dude. So he comes around. To save the day. Yeah, starts doing that. My buddy Scott is a little guy,

Starting point is 00:33:45 starts doing the fucking hammock on him, dude. And I am laughing so hard. Oh, dude. I'm laughing so hard. I remember I had to beat my feet against each other because I needed to get more sound out of it. More energy, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, he fucking seeing a gay guy do the hammock maneuver.

Starting point is 00:34:04 Bouncing your little friend around. Oh, dude, yeah. Thinking he's saving the day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, he fucking seeing a gay guy do the Haman Hoover. Bouncing your little friend around. Oh, dude. Thinking he's saving the day. Yeah, yeah. It was just like spumoni on your lap, brother. Same difference. So that was like a crazy thing that happened the first time anybody ever choked by us or something.

Starting point is 00:34:19 I've seen people successfully do it. And it's so weird that people don't know what to do that. Oh, it's beautiful when people do it well. When people do it well. When they do it well and the piece of the chicken bone just comes flying out or whatever and then everybody just starts clapping. Like it's like the plane landed. It's like everybody's like yeah, like that's so weird to take a lap because you just saved this guy because he didn't chew his filet mignon. Yeah dude we had um what was happening? Oh dude, I was at a hotel in Hawaii and a guy starts choking at the breakfast bar and it was like, it was a nice breakfast bar.

Starting point is 00:34:52 They had like cereal, fruit. Assortment of different styles of eggs. Scrambled, hard-boiled. Yeah, they had a couple of, they had those little, the big silver things you have to open up and see what's in it. Oh, surprise. They want to keep you guessing. Yeah, it's like Aloha. What do we got here?

Starting point is 00:35:08 And then there's like two of them that just have smoke coming out. There's just like warm water. They're like, oh, we're bringing it back out. We're bringing that ham out. I think I don't think that anything was ever in here, but they make it look like it was the water out thinking it's something exotic. I'm getting out of the water. Hot water.

Starting point is 00:35:23 Oh, God, I'll have out of the water, hot water. Oh God, I'll have another bowl. Honey, give me another bowl. Give me a bowl of that pineapple hot water. That's great. So this guy starts, uh, choking and they bring out one of those like divider things where you just like can divide a room, you know, with one of those. And they bring that out. Cause there's like all these tables right there, just eating. And so they bring that out and one guy keeps eating and people are like, quit fucking eating, dude. You don't fucking-

Starting point is 00:35:49 You don't eat in front of a possible death situation? Like seven feet over, you can hear this guy like struggling for his life, dude, right? And this guy's chomping on his cornflakes over here. And Magic Johnson was there, dude. So at a certain point, and this took a long time, they were trying to revive the guy. And so at a certain point, everybody starts looking

Starting point is 00:36:11 at Magic Johnson, like fucking do something, Magic Johnson. Your magic. Yeah. It's in your name. Like just, yeah, go double dribble on his heart or something. Do that, right? Yeah, if you- Cross over his arteries.

Starting point is 00:36:22 Yeah. Right? Do something. You can't tell him, you can't fucking pat him on the back in a special way. Yeah. At least give him a hug or something. Yeah. One more assist. And so it got so crazy and then nobody would eat dude. Cause they were really like, boom, raging into him and beating on his chest or whatever. And, um,

Starting point is 00:36:41 and then finally they took him out of there. I don't, I, he didn't make it. I know that, but. So that was his last breakfast. It was last breakfast. But at a certain point we'd all sat there and then somebody has to. Take the first bite.

Starting point is 00:36:58 Yeah. And the guy with the cornflakes is who's laughing now. I didn't miss a step. I'm ready to go. Yeah. Taking the first bite in that situation's rough. Yeah. It just broke my heart, man.

Starting point is 00:37:10 And I was like, I told my dad, I was like, we're not doing, do not eat first. Yeah, yeah, you just waited. Let somebody else, let Magic eat first, let somebody else eat first. I think everybody looks at Magic Johnson in that situation. And I think ceremoniously, he should be like, let's eat. It's like your dad at Thanksgiving when he's like,

Starting point is 00:37:24 okay, we can do it. Like, I'm done carving, we can eat. It's like your dad at Thanksgiving when he's like, okay, we could do it. Like, I've done carving, we could eat, yeah, like anything. He puts it out. But that was crazy, man. So yeah, I mean, it's crazy because you're in the guy who is magic himself and he could do nothing. I think it'd be worse if there was a real magician there,

Starting point is 00:37:43 like if David Blaine was there. And they're like, dude, make the chicken bone and his throat disappear. Like, dude, make it come out of behind his ear or something. You know? He'd pull those rags out until there's a piece of chicken on the end. That's right at the end.

Starting point is 00:37:53 He's got the bone coming out, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think that would be tough. Yeah, dude, that flooding stuff just makes me so sad. And it doesn't seem like there's much you can do. You can donate, right? Like, I've reached out to a couple of friends to find ways to like do, um, a type of event or something, cause it looks like it's really bad.

Starting point is 00:38:10 Yeah. Yeah. They got, it came in hard. It came with the coast, the other side too, right? It came in. Asheville, North Carolina. I mean, look how beautiful that area is too. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:38:21 Man. And they had alligators too. Did you see those? I've seen an alligator. Yeah But did you see him in this? There no alligator surprised your door like it's not bad enough now. You're gonna have alligators rolling up to your porch Yeah, oh, that's tough, man Wow, that's a damn gator, baby. Well and they had two alligators at the mall too they found by like an aeropostale or whatever. They make them into purses?

Starting point is 00:38:56 I have no idea. But also it's like I guess alligators never eat them all. If you're an animal you never even get to go to the mall. So this is your one shot. I'm going to go and see what's on the sale rack. I got these little arms. I got to keep myself warm. The props of this guy for seeing that's an alligator.

Starting point is 00:39:12 I wouldn't have known that was an alligator, right? That looks just like another piece of debris. I'd have just gone missing. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, an alligator at the mall. Like you have a really long medium, you know? I need, you got a, you have a tailor because I'm going to need it.

Starting point is 00:39:24 Then they go into Lacoste and they think they get a discount. long medium, you know? I need, you got a, you have a tailor cause I'm going to need it. Then they go into Lacoste and I think they get a discount. Like my face is all over this place, man. I did a- They can't even get up to the counter at like Panda Express, you know? He forgot his wallet in the car, he's got to go back. He forgot his wallet, but then he realizes that his tail's made out of wood. He's like. See an alligator trying to get on the escalator,

Starting point is 00:39:49 that'd be a good time. It's like his leg's flat, wiggling out, takes up 16 steps. Yeah, alligators are crazy. And we're joking, guys. Obviously there's a lot of people that are struggling over there, but we're just trying to bring some laughter to it.

Starting point is 00:40:02 For sure. That's the worst. Have you been involved in a big, it's like a tragic environment like that? Like where did you guys, were you guys in New York or during 9-11? Yeah, I live in Staten Island during the time, but I was, you know, New York came together in a way that day there for sure. Yeah, I think 9-11 is the closest I've come to some sort of tragedy like that. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:27 It's always tough, but I do find always, and people always say this, you know, people come together when it's that, like I find that so true, don't you? About like human nature shines brightest when it's tragedy, when it's wrapped in tragedy. I think people just come together in a real way and be like, we gotta tackle this thing, you know? Yeah, let me help.

Starting point is 00:40:41 Let me grill something, let me help, I got a truck, I gotta. But even like you said, like you could donate and all this stuff. I feel like people just really just like come and do something if they're not there. You know what I mean? It's like just, it's really cool that people do that and grill. It's cool. Let me grow for it. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:40:56 Let me get up there and grill. Is that the thing too? Like it's always people send food, right? Even like in a personal tragedy, like I remember when my, when my, uh, my father passed away and they were like, people would send food to the house. And my mom was the one that cooked. And it was like, she's like, no, I still got this, but do you know how to like to pay the electric bill?

Starting point is 00:41:12 Why does that work? You know, it seems so funny. But food is always such a thing of like, we got to feed these people, right? It's just the thing that people don't want people to have to worry about. Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah. Yeah, it is amazing that the ways that people come together and help each other,

Starting point is 00:41:26 even like when you look at people donating organs and stuff. Oh yeah, you an organ donor? Yeah, I am. Yeah. Yeah, I would definitely. I wouldn't do it to somebody. These are not good. Really?

Starting point is 00:41:38 Yeah, this is a used car. This is no lemon law. And it's like, take a leg, we got you a kidney. And they're like, from who? Like, I'm like, ah, leg, we got you a kidney, and they're like, from who? Like, you're like, oh shit, who else you got? Yeah. Yeah, if you put your ear up to the kidney, they can hear a mer just giving up.

Starting point is 00:41:54 Just the one kidney, what to say to the other kidney. Yeah, yeah. I think everything is just like, I think if it's not my eyes, you don't want it. It's like, he's got a nice set of eyes, give him his eyes. Get the eyes, yeah. Yeah, the organ donor thing is, that's so selfless too.

Starting point is 00:42:06 But that's so smart if you think about it, like, I mean, you're not gonna use them, what are you gonna do? Yeah, what are you gonna do? But then I think part of you wants to always feel whole. It's like, you wanna be like, okay, I wanna know that when I'm laying there dying, I'm still able to like, chill or relax or think or whatever.

Starting point is 00:42:20 Right, because imagine that's the deal, like you, that's how it all comes down to it. You're still thinking, you're laying there and you don't realize it because we don't know what happens. You're just thinking that's the deal. That's how it all comes down to it. You're still thinking you're laying there and you don't realize it because we don't know what happens. You're just thinking that some guy just stole your leg in the back of a college you didn't go to. I'm like, this is crazy, dude. How'd it get there?

Starting point is 00:42:36 It's crazy. That'd be pretty wild, man. Yeah, so with the new tour, will you go to, so now you have to start with building the new material and stuff, huh? Yes, I got the new tour now. Let to, so now you have to start with building the new material and stuff, huh? Yes, I got the new tour now. Let's get into it. It's been really fun.

Starting point is 00:42:48 I was, I head off for the summer to hang out with the fam and the kids and stuff, which is great. So I finished this in March, the Messing With People Tour, and now this new one just started in September. And it's cool. It's real fun. As a comic, you're nervous about it. You're trying to build it and whatnot.

Starting point is 00:43:04 But then when you get what your ideas are. I'm a storyteller, so I just figure out what stories I want to tell. But I'd always talk about sitting alone. I was stuck on my thoughts so much where I was thinking about how you end up the person that you are. So my Let's Get Into It tour really is about,

Starting point is 00:43:18 how did you end up like this? Because I started as a real, we were talking like a geeky kid. I used to make tests for my father. Open up the encyclopedias, he would come home and I would have a multiple choice exam from him after his 10 hour day, trying to sell life insurance door to door, I'd be like, pop quiz bitch.

Starting point is 00:43:32 Like, get out of here, you know, like that. And now I'm this. So I was always thinking about that. So I just like tell a lot of stories and think about your life and it's really, it's been really fun. I like this one a lot, I like this one, yeah. Yeah, it's funny to see how you'll evolve to and like how your brain will start to think up things that are like a little

Starting point is 00:43:47 bit more You know just more personal or you know, like how you get out of just telling jokes and try to like share something Yeah, you know, yeah, it's kind of fascinating. I think how that kind of works out. Do you feel like you share? More I mean you've taught you talk so much right you talk so much with the podcast and everything, right? Do you feel like you share more, I mean, you talk so much, right? You talk so much with the podcast and everything, right? Do you feel like, do you think about after you, because people get to know you in a real way on when you're, this is you talking. So do you feel like that you have, people know you in a way different way than they would like five years ago, if you were just doing standup, you know, does this podcast open up a completely different part, right? Yeah, I think so. Cause we talk about a lot of, I mean, yeah, we, cause sometimes we talk

Starting point is 00:44:29 about stuff that's personal or like, you know, I was kind of like a late bloomer, I think in dealing with like a lot of stuff from when I was young. And so I didn't even know that I had still had to deal with, you know, I didn't even know what was going on. So I think I've learned about a lot of that stuff, like even a second, the past five years and so we'll probably try to share kind of like candidly or sometimes you're talking and you just learn something as you're talking so like things like that have happened a pretty good bit because a lot of times you get busy with work and then

Starting point is 00:44:57 One of the times that I would sit down and kind of be with myself was when I was podcasting So you just be sitting there sharing and thinking and, yeah, sometimes you kind of get into some stuff that's pretty personal, and then, yeah, people will come up and say, man, I can relate to this. Yeah, that's a cool part, right? Thanks for talking about this or that, you know? I love that, yeah, that's what's really cool, too. But I've always been associated with a group.

Starting point is 00:45:19 So, right, so over the past four years it's now just me by myself, so it's a little different where you're not, you know, your opinions are like your own or your feelings are like your own or whatever. You're not like lumped into a category of just what everybody and you get to, they get to know me. People who started with fans of like jokers

Starting point is 00:45:34 are like fans of me, which is, it's really, it's a cool evolution, which are, I really like. And you do that. Yeah, was it hard to make that? Was it hard to like, were there moments where it was like, man, it's tough to do my own thing or? Yeah. Yeah?

Starting point is 00:45:48 Yeah, I think the, well, you're part of such a great legacy. I like that show, whatever it is. I know, it's like playing with three Tom Brady's and then now you're like, yeah, I'm gonna go be my own Tom Brady. No, I'll do what I was, I'll play flag football. Let's see how I can do. But I think it's, the best part about it was like,

Starting point is 00:46:04 I was part of that and I don't shy away from that, because you find people, like, when they talk to you, like, oh, you know, I love Jo and Jo. And they're afraid to talk to me about Jokers. But I'm like, that's my life. I mean, I'm so proud of that. It was a decade of my life. 300 episodes, it's not something that I shy away from.

Starting point is 00:46:17 And even in my stand-up, the show, I was me. So if you watch the show and liked me, you're going to like me when you see me, because it's the same guy. I wasn't being a character. I wasn't playing an actor. So there's just like some benefits to it, which is cool. And it's part of my personality. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:31 So I don't mind it. But it is cool to be able to try different things. Like I wanna write a kid's book, I wrote a kid's book. I wanted to do the standup thing. I've been always wanted to be a filmmaker, so I've got some scripts. And I never had time for any of that stuff. Right.

Starting point is 00:46:43 It's cool. Is this their last season, is it? I think they are, they're going to go back into production to finish their last season as of now, but you never know. I think they'll, they might get renewed again, I don't know. Yeah. But I think they'll let them go till they don't want to anymore. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:59 You know? Yeah, it's like, it's just so good, like why. Oh, yeah. I mean, some of my first fans were you guys' fans, you know, from going on the Joker's Cruise and getting to meet people on there, and then like fans that we'd have for years, you know, and that still are.

Starting point is 00:47:13 So thank you, man. You got it, man. They're a loyal fandom, they really are. It's cool. I get them come out to the shows. It's funny too, because you see them, they see me by myself now, and they're like, wow, you're really funny.

Starting point is 00:47:21 I'm like, thanks. Like, were you expecting me not to be? Like, yeah. But it's interesting for people to see you in standup. It's a totally different world by yourself, 60 minutes talking. Oh yeah, dude. That was the biggest thing for me, not being on stage with other people.

Starting point is 00:47:33 Oh yeah, huh? You're like, you just like, hey, you take it for a second. There's nobody there. I got cough and I'm like, no, no, no, get your, and they're like, oh, you just look. And sometimes people make you the craziest thing. Dude, this, somebody made me this. They brought this, this weekend. It's a real taxidermied rat.

Starting point is 00:47:48 That is the racket. That is unbelievable. If you open it up, it's very real. It was real. Yeah. At one point that is, that's super cool, man. Pretty cool, man. I got somebody who made me, uh, it was very interesting.

Starting point is 00:48:01 He made me and him this weekend. He made me, he made us Funko Pops. And, but he made himself as well. And it was me with one of my, one of my biggest fan. He made himself and we're both holding teddy bears because my new kid's book wears Barry. And he's like, hey, you don't have one of you with the bear. And I was like, how'd you know I had any?

Starting point is 00:48:19 I was like, get my Funko Pops. And it was just like, yeah, he made me see it. There's a Captain Fat Belly one there. From me and the show that I had pretty famously. And he made me one, but he made one see there's a Captain Fat-Belly one there I'm being the show that I had pretty famously and he made me one but he made one of himself And he gave me a two-pack and he's like now we could be together when you keep best friends like all right Yeah, but it was so cool. I love that. Yeah, that's funny, man Yeah, it's funny all the things like just little things that people make that like you talked about on a show or like Moments that affected them or something like that, you know, it's pretty cool

Starting point is 00:48:44 But even like you're saying it's like when people get together There's a sense of you know, it's pretty cool. But even like you're saying, it's like when people get together, there's a sense of, you know, when people want to do something for one another, you know, like when people want to help out, whether it's a storm, whatever it is, you know, people want to like kind of latch in, you know? But yeah, they gave me that rat baby and that thing.

Starting point is 00:49:01 Wow. That is insane to think. First of all, to think of it then execute that, that's really cool. I know. And you can't see it at home, it's in a little... Like a little, like a protective... Aquarium.

Starting point is 00:49:13 Yeah, yeah. Like a small, like eight inch diameter round aquarium that's about a foot high. Imagine like the brain that they kept for Frankenstein, they had that jar. It's the same thing, so it's got a rat in it. And it's got a rat in it, and he's wearing like a fancy gown. He has a scepter Has some flowers dude in New York. They just put out um

Starting point is 00:49:33 They have a rat problem there. Yeah, you know You're welcome. Yeah, that's what they get That's what they get for fucking being know-it-alls, dude I'll send more you'll send what you think you got under control. Look out here come dude. I'll send more. You think you got it under control. Look out here. Come more. I'll send more. So now they're trying a new tactic against me.

Starting point is 00:49:49 The war on rats could soon shift from trash to a new target procreation. Rat birth control could soon roll out in New York City. Little rat condoms. Give me a minute. Honey. She's like, you got a dick like a mouse. He's like, shut up. New York city council on Thursday will vote on a bill that would introduce rat

Starting point is 00:50:12 contraceptives to the city's rodent fighting arsenal. If the bill passes, city officials will choose two rat ridden zones to place the contraceptives and then monitor whether they reduce rat activity. How did you do that? The pilot program will last 12 months, dude. Unbelievable. And now rats are going to be hearing that other rats are on birth control and go over there and trying to smash. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:50:44 They're going to be like, yeah, it's no no risk rat smashing Yeah, they it's it's insane. Like I've walked down certain parts of the city and you just it looks like the sidewalks moving. It's insane there's just Just moving it looks like An ocean like it there's just like waves. It's crazy. It's beautiful Yeah, the build of Flacco's law is focusing on mitigating the risk of rodenticides, rodenticides? Rodenticides.

Starting point is 00:51:12 On other animal populations like birds. So what does that mean? Well, the birds are going to be, it has a reverse effect on birds. It's like Viagra. So the pigeons are just going to be pounded away. Yeah. Because how do you know what's going to eat it?

Starting point is 00:51:25 Right? Cause if it's just on the floor, like birds are going to eat it, right? Pigeons eat the same stuff rats do. Oh, so they can't poison them because they said other animals will eat them in those animals. Like if owls it says. Oh, gotcha. So that way they can't poison them. So they have to try this.

Starting point is 00:51:36 They have to try birth control. Unreal dude. They don't want to get rid of the owls. Yeah. So now they're going to be on. So now big ph going to be on. So now big pharma is basically animals are on. Is your animal in any drugs? No, no, she's, she's pretty clear.

Starting point is 00:51:54 We have some animals at home, the older ones that are on some sort of things and whatnot. And what do they get on blood dinners or whatever? They give them a, it depends what they have. Trazadone is a big one for dogs if they're nervous, like a lot of dogs that, we have a couple of dogs that get nervous during thunderstorms and whatnot. It's like a calming thing. You could give it to them before they fly. She doesn't need it depends what they have. Trazodone's a big one for dogs if they're nervous. Like a lot of dogs, we have a couple dogs that get nervous during thunderstorms and whatnot. It's like a calming thing. You can give it to them before they fly.

Starting point is 00:52:08 She doesn't need it, she's good. But like some dogs, Trazodone is like a big one. They get that trazi in them. I'll pop a little Trazodone, dude. You feel a little nervous? Yeah, just take some Trazi, man. They just all, it's so funny because they get, it like dehydrates them too.

Starting point is 00:52:22 So they'll just be like laying there panting with their eyes half closed and they're like, you clearly see. Yeah. That's, that's a big one for them, but they get some kidney medicines. The old one, all my old ones. It's just so I have, so my rescue is all senior dogs. So I get them when they're all jacked up. Yeah. So it's like, you ever get any of the ones that are in the wheel to little

Starting point is 00:52:39 chariots, kind of the Roman ones? Yeah. I got a couple of Roman soldiers. Yeah. Yeah. We said, they're going to live. We were like, no, no, we're going to make it. We had a couple of those. Thumbs up. Yeah. So that's like Michigan. That was my first senior, the one on the fourth there.

Starting point is 00:52:52 One more over here, that one. So that was my first senior dog and had no teeth that tongued him out. That dog's not on that Japanese pill. That's just how it lives. Yeah, sure. Yeah, it's a good one. Looks like Biden, dude, that one.

Starting point is 00:53:02 A little. A little bit, yeah. So that's where it was our first senior. But now we get these seniors, and they were all. A little. A little bit, yeah. So that's what was our first senior, but now we get these seniors and they're all jacked up. And where do you get them? Do you go meet somebody? Do you guys meet at like Howard Johnson's or something? Like how do you pick them up?

Starting point is 00:53:13 Panera. Yeah. Yeah. Grab some lunch. We get them from kill shelters in New York sometimes, or we get owner surrenders. A lot of them have, when they're this old, like older people die and nobody can take care of the dog.

Starting point is 00:53:26 It's like, you know, they've had this dog. So the dog is like 12, 13 years old. And they're like, could you take it? So we do a lot of owner surrender work. We try to find new homes for them. And your wife likes taking care of them too? Loves it. Yeah, that's her thing.

Starting point is 00:53:39 She started, really started it. She's like, that's her day to day kind of thing. She like runs it all. And you know, we have come together to work it out now that it's our thing, which is fun. And do y'all pet every dog every day, you think? We have volunteers too that come and help out. They come and pet them, come play with them.

Starting point is 00:53:55 We have an adoption center in town where people come through. Yeah, right there, that's the adoption center we just opened up last year. And people could come through and howling out with the dogs and pet them a little bit. Oh yeah. Yeah, if you ever wanna see, yeah, these are some of our VIPs right here. So if you ever wanna come through and having out with the dogs and pet them a little bit. Oh, yeah. Yeah, if you ever want to see these, yeah, these are some of our VIPs right here.

Starting point is 00:54:07 So if you want to come through and pet a dog when you're in New York, buddy, I got you. Oh, I'll come one. I'll rub one out. They're fun, man. I mean, I'll pet the dog. No, we heard you. That's insane. Is pornography causing a problem in your life? Do you find yourself watching porno for longer periods of time

Starting point is 00:54:27 and having trouble stopping? Is porn affecting your relationship or dating life? Well, you're certainly not alone. Watching pornography has become so commonplace today and oftentimes men use porn to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety, and depression. Shame and stigma prevent men from talking about these issues and getting help for them.

Starting point is 00:54:53 I want to introduce you to my friend Steve. Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery, a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity. Steve is a long-term sexual recovery member and has personally overcame the emotional and spiritual despair of abusing pornography and has dedicated his life to empowering men to do the same. Steve is an amazing person and he is a close friend of mine. I mean that. Valor Recovery helps men to develop the tools necessary to have a healthier sex life.

Starting point is 00:55:27 Their coaches are in long-term recovery and will be your partner, mentor, and spiritual guide to transcend these problematic behaviors. To learn more aboutcoaching.com or email them at admin at valorrecoverycoaching.com. Thank you. Dude, I remember the first time I ever saw a dog inside somebody's house, right? I was at my buddy Scott's house and they had a, a golden retriever came around the corner in his house, dude. And it was beautiful. It was one of like the,

Starting point is 00:56:10 it had the most beautiful hair I'd ever seen on a man or woman or anything. That was it, but it was long haired. Google long haired golden retrievers. Oh, like the wisps, like it, yeah, like it goes back. When they run, it bounces like those things. Yeah, yeah. It was like, it had like, it looked like Pam Anderson, dude, it came out of the water.

Starting point is 00:56:28 Yeah. I was like, just shaking its hair off. The droplets slowly fly. I was like, damn. So you must've been inside the home. You're like, what the hell is going on? I couldn't believe what was going on. I was like, where, how did this, what is this?

Starting point is 00:56:41 First of all, this really beautiful pony. I thought it was, it was pretty big. And then how did they get it inside? Because in our neighborhood, it was just dogs outdoors, biting, just like ruining your fucking birthday because you had to get stitches or something. My next door neighbor had, so we had a little mutt, midnight her name was, she was a mix,

Starting point is 00:57:01 but she went to schnauzer or whatever. And then my next door neighbor's had a full Doberman Pinscher. Her name was, she was a mix between her snails or whatever. And then my next door neighbors had a full Doberman Pinscher. Her name was Ninja and they had to keep her outside. So she had an outdoor pen and my dog would go under the fence and they would hang out. And he was like a, there was this huge, yeah, like that. Like one of those big, you know, like in the movies, those big German looking, yeah, like those dogs, right?

Starting point is 00:57:24 Like big scare and I had this little mutt and they would just hang know, like in the movies, those big like German looking, yeah, like those dogs, right? Like big scare. And I had this little mutt and they would just hang out. It was the oddest couple and they hung out, but they had to keep that dog outside. They didn't bring him inside. So when Jason came over my house and my dog was inside, he's like, oh, you get to play with it like on the couch. He's like, this is so weird.

Starting point is 00:57:36 Cause he played with his in the dirt, like in the backyard, you know? Wow, dude. Yeah, I guess having them much dogs brings you a lot of joy. The other day I was sitting at a meeting and somebody's dog came up and I'll, even when I petted it, it makes you feel good. Yeah. Yeah. For sure. You don't, you don't have a dog. No, I'm going to get one as soon as I get. I think after this year coming up late in the year,

Starting point is 00:57:59 I'll kind of take a break from touring for a while and then get a nice pet. If you want to mess up one-eyed one, you call your boy. I'll take care of you. And what are some of the tougher things about dealing? Oh, research has shown that simply petting a dog lowers the stress hormone cortisol. That's the truth. That's truth.

Starting point is 00:58:14 When I have her on the road with me, I sleep so much better. Really? Yeah, for sure. They said a new study just came out that I had just seen too that it was if a dog, hearing a dog breathe with you is like kind of lowers your, uh, makes you go into a deeper REM cycle. Hmm.

Starting point is 00:58:28 Yeah. Which is cool. And I have eight dogs that sleep in my bed. So I'm in a coma. You over, like Joe OD. Yeah. Yeah. I get, I get like three hours sleep and I'm set for like two weeks.

Starting point is 00:58:41 Wow. Yeah. They have a lot of people, Oh, benefits of sleeping with your dog. Decreased sleep. So you don't have to sleep as much. Eases insomnia, comfort. Yeah. Promotes theta brain waves. Wow. I get them thetas up. Do you? Yeah. Yeah. Rush theta. Yep. And then lowers blood pressure, sense of security. Yeah. Warmth, come on, now that it's fucking. Now they're just throwing in buzzwords. It's like, decreases loneliness.

Starting point is 00:59:09 Yeah, cause you're not alone. Yeah. You can sleep with a catnil to decrease loneliness. So that's not to do with a dog. Ah, that's beautiful, dude. Yeah, I wouldn't like to get me a couple puffs and do like a little Iditarod or something. That's something I'd always love to do.

Starting point is 00:59:20 An Iditarod with dogs? Is being the Iditarod, man. Yeah. Because there's a parade, I think the day before And Iditarod with dogs? Is being the Iditarod, man. Because there's a parade, I think, the day before the Iditarod. Look up Iditarod parades if you can. And all the dogs go through the town or whatever and you get to see them all.

Starting point is 00:59:35 That's cool. Yeah. And look at the ones with those blue shoes on. That's mine. Those are fancy, yeah. I think they're sponsored by Nike or something. Oh, I'd have mine and some fucking Yeezys out there. You know what I'm saying?

Starting point is 00:59:48 When we used to have the dog of the city, we used to put these little balloons on their feet because the city's gross. You know, and then you have these dogs and their paws are like porous. So my dog used to walk around in these little balloon shoes. They're literally like, it was like, do you do like that?

Starting point is 01:00:01 Yeah, that was them, exactly. Oh, that's it. Oh, look at those. What, those fresh paw balloon? Look at those right there, the third picture exactly. Oh, that's it. Yeah. Look at those. What those fresh Paul Beluga's. Look at those right there. The third picture. Yeah, that's it. Right.

Starting point is 01:00:09 Let's zoom up on that a little bit. Something to those guys. Yeah. He's got them. Wow. New York fashion week. Oh, they did Yeezy inspired sneakers for dogs. Wow.

Starting point is 01:00:18 Unreal. Some people have too much freaking money. Too much money. Yeah. Yeah, but he said Mark Cuban on here. That guy has a crazy amount of money. Some people are billionaires. isn't that crazy, dude? That's so nuts.

Starting point is 01:00:27 That's so nuts. Can't even imagine, like, what would, and then how do you even? 5.7 billion is what Google's telling us. That's a lot of money. Well, you would think at some point you wouldn't need, want to try and make any more money, I guess. Right, right, yeah. But is it that like, you're just like so good at it

Starting point is 01:00:43 that your money's making money, right? Cause people say like, why wouldn't you stop? He's like, I did stop. I'm just, my money's making money. Like, what do you want me to do? You know, it's like out there like Musk is like, you think he's out there being like, let me clock in like his money is just making money. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's not like he just like has to drive over to work in the morning. Bye honey. I got to get to the office. Like you are the office. Like you can do whatever you want. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I think that's a big part of it. It's one of the problems I'll never get to the office. Like you are the office. Like you can do whatever you want. Yeah. Wow.

Starting point is 01:01:05 Yeah, I think that's a big part of it. It's one of the problems that I'll never have to worry about. Yeah, I think I felt like, you think at a certain point you would just wanna do helpful stuff and not making more money. But then I guess if you wanna do helpful stuff,

Starting point is 01:01:17 you still have to keep making money to do it maybe. That's part of the thing. Yeah, I think Bill Gates talked about that, right? When they were talking about the Bill Gates Foundation or whatever. And he was like, people are like, oh, you could just give all your money away. He's like, yeah, but what do I do when all talked about that, right? When they were talking about the Bill Gates Foundation, whatever, and he was like, people were like, oh, you could just give all your money away. He's like, yeah, but what do I do

Starting point is 01:01:27 when all my money's given away? I need to make money to give away the money. Like, it's part of it all, you know? It's just cyclical. You gotta keep putting money back in the bank to give it out. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:01:38 You a charitable fella? Yeah, I think so, man. Yeah. We do, trying to start a foundation and start doing more charity stuff. Oh, cool. So do you ever do something like that? Yeah, well, I started my for, my nonprofit for the dog.

Starting point is 01:01:51 It's like a real nonprofit. Last year, we did it. Oh, sweet. So, Gattapops and Friends, like, I registered one now, so that was our thing. But I give to, like, we do a lot of animal, mostly animal stuff, I think I do, but I also work with a couple other foundations in New York.

Starting point is 01:02:04 But I like it, but you get tapped a lot to be like the celebrity, like at the events, like you have to, I've hosted so many things, like you end up hosting and like doing, you know, the charity drives, like the auctioneer and stuff like that, which is it's good for. Like Whammer honors for narcoleps or whatever. You're right, right.

Starting point is 01:02:20 You're like. It's always crazy shit. You're trying to get out there and you have to auction off this like, you know, this trip to Hawaii for these people and you run around like auctioning, trying to pit people against each other. So it's fun, but I could see that being a cool,

Starting point is 01:02:33 that's a cool part of it. I do a lot with, Howard Stern does the North Shore Animal League, that's the big... North Shore Animal League. Animal League is in Long Island, it's a big dog foundation there. And they do their cat rescue with them. So I've done a couple of events with a dog with them.

Starting point is 01:02:47 And it's so funny just to be at these big events. Yeah, that's it. Oh yeah. And see as many dogs as you can. So many, yeah. I try not to take them home. Oh yeah. So cute.

Starting point is 01:02:56 Yeah, I think I have a goal. I wanna like start, like I wanna, well, we wanna like make like kind of like a half house, but I don't know what it's gonna be for really like an addiction place, you know? So we started a group that meets online on Tuesday afternoons, that's a Zoom meeting. And it's like intimacy disorder, sex and love addiction,

Starting point is 01:03:19 all kinds of stuff like that. But then- It meets online once a week? Yeah, it's pretty good. And then, I mean, it's awesome, what I'm saying, it's pretty good. It's cool, you see guys start to turn their lives around and stuff.

Starting point is 01:03:31 That is awesome. Yeah, but then we wanna get, eventually make a center, you know? But we'll see, one step at a time. For sure, for sure. Like right now, all the dogs live in my house. I don't wanna eventually have a place where you can do more. Little motel.

Starting point is 01:03:43 Yeah, I wanna, definitely, like a motel six, bed and breakfast. little motel. Yeah. I want to definitely like a motel six bed and breakfast. Take over that one in Seattle. Did you see that? There's a, uh, somebody made a white house. Um, homeless people are just making their making houses. They're like, literally a lot of them aren't even homeless anymore. They're making houses, making their own homes just in parks. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:04 Just like, okay, we're building a home. Yeah. Look at this guy built a fricking white house somewhere. Oh my, look at that. Your downtown Seattle, the Soto white house. That's it. He built, he made that with the fence and everything. So it's crazy that suddenly... Get out there and build it and they will come, man. You just do it. You solve your own problem.

Starting point is 01:04:30 This guy built his own life. Look, he's like, stop filming my house. He came out to get the mail or something. It even has an address on it. Number 12. Go back and look at it again. Look. He gave himself his own address.

Starting point is 01:04:41 If he gets mail there, that'd be amazing. What? That is amazing. That's pretty'd be amazing. What, that is amazing. That's pretty impressive actually. Oh, it's unbelievable. A lot of stuff people are doing. There's so many great, a lot of homeless people are just taking on ways or like they're in between homeless and not homeless,

Starting point is 01:04:58 you know what I'm saying? But they're finding like a way to make it work. I mean, there's people building all kinds of like small businesses and stuff that just out on the street, you know? There's a lot of the, the barter ends up, right? It's going back. It's taking like a step back inside that community where it's like, you know, help each other out.

Starting point is 01:05:11 Yeah. I'll trade you soap for nails or whatever. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Human ones? No, I'm good. Even got some nails. I'm trying to build this white house. Yeah. That's changed a little bit. Yeah. But I, it's, it's interesting to see how that community like starts.

Starting point is 01:05:24 Sticking together. Yeah. It's the same thing, man. Yeah. But I, it's, it's interesting to see how that community like starts sticking together. Yeah, the same thing, man. Oh yeah. Cause you see how much people they're usually like in big groups. Like if you get on to like, um, some of those areas, we were in Vancouver and they have a street there.

Starting point is 01:05:36 I can't remember the, Hetchin or something. Um, who's Vancouver? Hastings. Hastings. Yeah. And man, we went down there at night, but was it. Hastings, yeah. And man, we went down there at night, but they're still like all in groups.

Starting point is 01:05:47 Somebody's got the grill out and somebody's like, It's like a tailgate. Somebody's a Jets fan or whatever, you know. Right, yeah, yeah. But yeah. Yeah. But it was just like out there, everybody working together.

Starting point is 01:05:57 Somebody's cooking up a drug, somebody's, you know. Yeah, they're all there. That's like a sense of like, people are busking, they're trying to make some money, you know, yeah, they're all that that's, that's like a sense of like, see if people will busk in, they're trying to make some money, you know, I saw, I watched somebody the other day play tears in heaven on a vacuum cleaner down there. So it's some real talent is what I'm saying. Get down to Hastings in Vancouver. You want the next Justin Bieber.

Starting point is 01:06:20 You got a tear coming out of your eye and the carpets clean. It's fucking, how can you lose, bro? You can't lose. But that's what I'm saying. There's so much skill out there in a lot of these communities and they're working together, you know? Yeah. You want to cut the AC on a little bit?

Starting point is 01:06:32 It's a little warm in here, do you think or no? You fine? I'll take some AC if you got it. Okay. I was in the ice bath. Oh, really? Earlier. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:40 I was in a ice tub or something. Yeah. It gets, and then you're so cold you don't know what's going on. How long do you do it for? I stand for 10 minutes. 10? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:06:51 I never done it. I did a cold plunge in a spa once, and I was like, this is not for me. Yeah? Yeah, but people love it. You're more that warm boy, huh? I'm more that warm boy. I love a good sauna, steam room.

Starting point is 01:07:03 At night, do you sleep in bed with your dogs or not? Yeah, yeah, I got eight of them in the bed with us. Oh my God, hold on. There has to be like an Amy's Law or something, huh? What is it? There has to be some sort of. Yeah, this is, yeah, this is pretty close to it, actually. Yeah, those are my, those are my pets.

Starting point is 01:07:20 And do they all, do they get like- Yes, Bimonier, oh no, no, Bimonier's not in this picture, actually, that's Biscotti, my favorite on top. do they all, do they get like- Yes, Bimonier, oh no, no, Bimonier's not in this picture actually. That's Biscotti, my favorite at the top. Do they all have to pee at the same time, kind of like a women's basketball team or whatever? They hold it for 10 hours. Nuh-uh. Yeah, they go to the bathroom at like seven o'clock,

Starting point is 01:07:35 we take them out and then at 5.30 they're up and we take them down. Wow. So at 5.30 you gotta take them down. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, yeah. Even in the winter.

Starting point is 01:07:42 That's why I sleep so good. I get that four hours, I'm ready to go, baby. Yeah, even in the winter, in the winter. That's why I sleep so good. I get that four hours I'm ready to go, baby. Yeah, even in the winter. In the rain, the rain's rough. It rains worse than winter in the rain. But we have a run so they could go by themselves. I had to walk them, thank goodness. But yeah, that's tough when it's in the rain.

Starting point is 01:07:57 They don't want to go outside. Yeah. What's a crazy gift that somebody brought you guys one time? Did anybody? The more of it's the tattoos. Like you get this too, right? People tattoo themselves.

Starting point is 01:08:08 I saw this woman just tattooing our faces on themselves and stuff. This woman on her upper thigh gave like the, a caricature version of the jokers. Like of each of us, like around her thigh. And it just said, and I was like, that's for life. Like, that's great. Like you sign people, like they put their tattoos on you.

Starting point is 01:08:25 That's crazy. I started doing this thing where I started, people asked me, oh, could you sign me so I could, you make a tattoo? I said, can I just draw you something instead? I said, cause I feel like that'd be, so I just draw a heart with like a paw. That's a heart.

Starting point is 01:08:37 I was like, this is important to me. It'd be cool that you do that. So, but yeah, like see this woman has her name all written on all of us. That's all of us. She finally got all of our signatures. Yeah, she got Sal. Who held out?

Starting point is 01:08:45 Just help the lady out. I think the last one was, I think she had to meet Q, I think it was. You can tell by the placement, like she met Sal early. Sal's right in the middle of the arm, you know? Yeah, Sal's got the Sal guy. Look at Murray's always in the back, creeping. But yeah, people get our signatures a lot.

Starting point is 01:09:01 But then people get like interpretive stuff too, whether it just be like a bowl of mashed potatoes. Of a mashed potatoes, like, look I got Scoop Scoop potatoes on me. I'm like, dude. It's like, thank you, I guess that's very odd. Oh, because of a joke you made, you know? So that's really weird.

Starting point is 01:09:16 But we've gotten like, I get a lot of fan art of like drawings. Like I see you notice you have some drawings and stuff too. I get some drawings and some of them are just like, really, really well done. And it's like, wow. And then you just get some that are like, that's really bad.

Starting point is 01:09:29 Like, I can't, like, earned this. Or interesting. A lady this week gave us a painting and it had a rat and open vagina on it. The rat, it was very like a vaginatic or whatever. It was, yeah, something in heat or whatever, you know? Yeah, gotcha, gotcha. And uh.

Starting point is 01:09:46 Well, you gotta send that thing to New York. Solve that problem real quick. It was crazy, dude. It was just like, it was a really neat painting too, but it was definitely wild, man. Yeah. I'll have to put the picture on the YouTube if we can. I don't even know if we can put it up.

Starting point is 01:10:00 I had this woman who took a picture off my Instagram of me and my daughter. It was a jewel, and she made a jeweled painting of it. So she used like jewels, just different color jewels. And she made me and my son and my daughter. Oh, that's beautiful. And it was, I framed it and I put it in my office. It was really cool. I get some really cool stuff.

Starting point is 01:10:16 It's so funny because they're so talented and I can't, because you draw, I can't draw. I'm so unartistic. So I'm like taking a back part. I'm like, wow, this is really, really nice. Oh yeah. If our teacher tried to get me to draw, I'd accuse the teacher of touching me or something. I'm like, dude, we're shutting this down. I didn't have, we had art history, which is still in high school. Like we didn't even have like art art classes, art history, bro. Is there anything worse when you think it's going to be art dude and it's art history, dude, you get in there and you're like, where's the audit?

Starting point is 01:10:46 And they just give you a book about stone. You got to read. And you're just out here reading about art reading about art is the worst. It's the worst thing. Let me read about art instead of doing it. Yeah. Even if when you're at the gallery or something, you see the little thing with the name, like I'll read only like a third of that little card that is a guy's name

Starting point is 01:11:07 It's like tell me what his inspiration was. Oh I do like going and sitting amongst art. I feel inspired by yeah I like taking a look but I don't read the things about I don't know anything about artists Yeah, I don't know a lot, you know, I could pretend about some stuff, but I don't know that much You know, it's like, you know, but I don't know that much. You know, it's like some stuff I know a little bit. Do you have any art? Yeah, I got a nice piece of art.

Starting point is 01:11:31 This lady. Tell me the history of it. She, yeah. This lady is an artist out of Louisiana. And I saw her in Hawaii and I bought a piece of art that she had. Oh, that's cool. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:11:45 Cor Corcal ski Cor palsky. Can you look it up? Cor palsky Laura Cor palsky maybe. Um, Maui artist, LA URA. Lori, Kuprowski. Wow. Yeah. She had some really cool art, man.

Starting point is 01:12:03 Um, I like that. So you saw it at a gallery and yourowski, wow. Yeah, she had some really cool art, man. That's cool. I like that. So you saw her at a gallery and you got him, yeah? Yeah, I got it and... It spoke to you, as they say. Yeah, it just makes me feel like, I don't know, you can feel when somebody puts something into something, you know? For sure.

Starting point is 01:12:17 Yeah, but she had some really neat things. And she was from Louisiana and we met each other in Hawaii and so I was like, oh, this is like a cool sign or whatever. Yeah. There's a, I did, I was like, oh, this is like a cool sign or whatever. Yeah. There's a, I did, I was in San Diego for Comic-Con and who's the guy that drew Bugs Bunny? Mel Blanc? Mel Blanc, right?

Starting point is 01:12:34 So they did, the old Warner Brothers lot used to have a Bugs Bunny stop sign. So Bugs Bunny would be standing there with a stop sign when you pulled into the lot. And he did 50 versions of it. And I bought one of those. But it's huge. It's the size of like this.

Starting point is 01:12:49 So I actually mounted it inside a sliding door in my house. And that's like, yeah, it stays in there. I was like, that's a really cool thing. It's signed by him. He only made like 50 of them. And it wasn't that expensive. And then I went back a couple of years later, to Comcom again, the guy was like,

Starting point is 01:13:04 you set up that Bugs Bunny right? I said, yeah. And he's like, it had gone up like exponentially. And I I went back a couple years later, this is ComCon again, the guy was like, you set up that Bugs Bunny, right? I said, yeah. And he's like, it had gone up like exponentially. And I was like, really? He's like, yes. So some things like, I didn't get in for the game. I just love Bugs Bunny. I grew up with it. So I was like, that's really cool that actually it is something, but now it's a door in my house.

Starting point is 01:13:17 So like, I can't, if I want to sell it, I have to sell the door. Yeah. It's that stop sign right there. Bugs Bunny stop it a lot. Yeah. I remember seeing that on the shows a lot. That's it. Yeah. So Chuck Jones. That's it Chuck Jones. I'm Think of other things that uh, anything else. I've got another piece of art I don't know if it's a piece of art or whatever

Starting point is 01:13:36 It's just like there's some other nice things that people have drawn us that that are up in the studio in the in Los Angeles. Yeah some other stuff. Yeah that are up in the studio in Los Angeles, some other stuff. But yeah, it's amazing, man. People, like the other night, two kids gave me these little bracelets that they made. I love that, yeah. They make the bracelets and say stuff. Yeah, just like so many.

Starting point is 01:13:54 That bracelet culture, because Taylor Swift, she did something right there with that. I mean, everybody's giving out bracelets. I love that. You get them all the time. So I get bracelets from the kids and I actually bring them home and my daughter loves them. My daughter will like keep them keep Yeah, it says yeah

Starting point is 01:14:05 Yeah, I have a pretty good collection or like different like rocks or something people give you rocks But then somebody brought me their molars one time they got and taken out Somebody brought me what's the story behind for a reason or just wanted to give it to you? I can't even remember what it was. Yeah, I Was crazy people have brought me like a box that smelled so fucking bad, dude. Opened it up and it just, there was nothing in it and it just smelled fucking horrible.

Starting point is 01:14:35 It's hot soup water from Hawaii. Yeah. It's got me so fucked. Just what? Yeah. It's terrible. I've gotten some like weird stuff to what a lot of people just like to bring me food.

Starting point is 01:14:45 Yeah? Because I'm known for being a sweet tooth kind of guy. So I'll get people bring me in cannolis and pastries and donuts and stuff. That's awesome. But I'll never eat them. Like I made you these cookies at home. I'm like, I'm gonna eat these.

Starting point is 01:14:57 Oh my God. It's like in a Saran wrap. It's still greasy. I'm like, I'm good. They're like, eat one. I'm like, I'll eat it later. Make sure you do. Yeah, it's so weird. It's like tracking devices in it. Oh, I had a guy bring me 10 hits of LSD one time. He's like, I know your server, but here's

Starting point is 01:15:11 10 hits of LSD. And I was like, this could go, do you know how sober means? Any direct, this could go, this could go, this could go poorly. Um, but yeah, a lot of times just some super neat stuff and, uh, yeah, it's crazy and then just people like adding to your world of like, of your podcast or of your show, you know, or have you guys podcast or, um, which is kind of fascinating. Yeah. Um, what else is going on, dude? Oh, I saw that, uh, the space X they're going to pick up the, those, the astronauts that got stranded.

Starting point is 01:15:46 You see that? Oh, I did not. So two astronauts got stranded, right? You knew that part. On the international space station and for the stranded astronauts, the arrival of their ride home, perhaps an additional reason for Butch and Sunny to celebrate the space X rescue mission was launched from Florida with just two astronauts on board. The other two seats kept free for the extra passengers when it returns to Earth in February.

Starting point is 01:16:16 It is a coup for the company, but an embarrassment for Boeing, which is still trying to work out why. Thrusters on its own Starliner capsule failed as it docked in June leaving the test pilots marooned. Lots of cheering here in the room. There you go so. So they called an Uber? They called an Uber and they're like can you come get us? They called Uber X.

Starting point is 01:16:38 I'm ready. Dude they so yeah Elon's SpaceX is going to pick up these two stranded astronauts, bro. Imagine being just stranded out there. That's insane. Imagine you think you're going home, you're supposed to go home, and then they're like, no, it's going to be from June to February, it's going to be seven more months, eight more months. Dude, I mean, there's got to be a...

Starting point is 01:17:00 Nine more months. Sorry. Nine months. Do they have enough? Do they have enough food? Package to oatmeal? Do they kind of have enough stuff? I bet they pack like a head, but like surely. Seven, nine months more?

Starting point is 01:17:10 Yeah. That's a full baby being born. Like that. And even the person who packed it up was probably like, they're not going to be out there that long. Yeah. Yeah. Let's take some of this oatmeal home. 100%.

Starting point is 01:17:21 They don't need this much of this oatmeal. Not a, yeah. You think they need 80 jars of applesauce? Give them 68 and they'll never know the difference. Meanwhile, they're up there like, Licking the spoon. We just had 12 more jars. God, dude, but yeah, Elon's gonna get them.

Starting point is 01:17:36 I actually tweeted at him the other day to see if they would let me, I wanted to interview the, Oh, go, it would be sick, dude. They're sending Theo to go pick him up. Would you take that risk, you think, if they said you could go? No, definitely not. Definitely not.

Starting point is 01:17:50 That's a big risk, it would feel like. Yeah, but that would be, that's a one in a bajillion thing. Nobody else would ever say they did that. You know, they picked them up. Who'd they send? Did they send people that were equipped to do it? Or was it? I don't know.

Starting point is 01:18:02 Hopefully they send Ben Affleck because. He's working on the drill. Well, I think he could just use- Him and Bruce Willis is what I want to send, right? They got that work experience. Bruce Willis is already, he's out of space currently. I think he's has dementia right now, which is basically free outer space.

Starting point is 01:18:17 You know what I'm saying? He's just there. And I'm just joking, Bruce Willis. Yes. But no, Sunita Williams and Barry Wilmore have been stranded on the ISS since June after the Boeing spacecraft suffered thruster failures. SpaceX rescue flight will not return until February. Oh wait, it arrived already though. So they already picked them up. No way. But arrived

Starting point is 01:18:38 just after 10 30 p.m. on Sunday. Oh so they already picked them up. That was really them picking them up. They're in today. They're in, but at the right back, they're hitting some traffic. It looks like the Waze map is telling them that they're going to be hitting some traffic. Okay. So they got them. So halfway there. So coming back must take so much longer than. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:18:58 Yeah. How'd they get there? So quick. That doesn't make sense. I guess so. Let me see. When did they leave to go get them? NASA confirmed in August that the two will return to Earth

Starting point is 01:19:07 and will not return until 2025 with SpaceX now in charge of rescuing the astronauts on a crew dragon flight. But what's the plan if they don't send SpaceX? What's the plan? How do they get these guys home? They put their homes out the side. Like, oh my God. Or crew situation, like come on, stroke, stroke.

Starting point is 01:19:25 Take me to the river. River, right? What is the plan? What is Boeing's plan? I know, that's crazy. If Elon doesn't bail him out like that. That's crazy that there's a late, yeah. But everybody's flights are getting delayed now.

Starting point is 01:19:36 That's the crazy thing. You're equating a Southwest flight being delayed. It's still a flight. It's true. I guess, I guess I'll favor. Everybody's having trouble, dude. Nobody's above it, man. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:19:49 We're all just human at the end of the day. Nobody's above it. But yeah, I wanted to get to interview the two astronauts podcast with them. Yeah. But they'll come. You think so? I mean, it would be interesting.

Starting point is 01:20:02 Yeah. If they're fans, yeah, sure. If they're just, they don't have anything, if they don't have anything to do also, you know. I mean, it would be interesting. Yeah, if they're fans, yeah, sure. If they don't have anything to do also, you know? I mean, their job's done. They never have to work a day again in their life, right? They're done. They get some sort of pension. You kidding?

Starting point is 01:20:14 You're, name a bigger hero. You went and saved two people from space. That's a movie plot, a real life movie plot. But that's working for NASA, that's working for the government, man. Dude, you work at the post office, they barely give you a fucking, you know? That's true. Some guy was stalled over on McDougal, they couldn't pick him up for three weeks.

Starting point is 01:20:32 Yeah, dude. Where's Jim? Oh, his car broke down on McDougal. We'll see him in March. Yeah, so let's don't put it past the government. First of all, if the government said, hey, I want to take you and a buddy to space, I'd be like, fuck no, dude. You guys can't even decide on a correct price of stamps, dude.

Starting point is 01:20:52 All expense paid, you guys are going to space. Thanks, I'm good. I'd be like, dear God, no. But everything's become privatized now. That's just how everything is, you know? Yeah. Yeah, even rescue missions, apparently. Yeah. It's crazy. It's like it used to be everything was kind of like the public things were is, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Even rescue missions, apparently. Yeah. Yeah. It's crazy.

Starting point is 01:21:05 It's like, it used to be everything was kind of like the public things were rocking, you know? And then now it's like... Not. They're just going home. It used to be the post system. Now it's Amazon, you know? It's just like everything's kind of... Yeah. Or a lot of things have become more that way. What else is going on with you, man? Sorry, I feel kind of tired today.

Starting point is 01:21:24 Okay. Do I seem tired? No, you're doing great. Really? Am, man? Sorry. I feel kind of tired today. I seem tired. No, you're doing great. Really? Am I boring? Okay. Good. You're doing great, dude.

Starting point is 01:21:31 I've been trying to fast a lot. And so I think it's slowing my energy down. So yeah, you look good though. I feel pretty good. Where are you in your weight? When your weight loss journey or your weight gain journey, are you like trying to do something? No, I've just been trying to fast just to like, see if it helps my brain

Starting point is 01:21:44 get like more like sharp Yeah, just sharp and just like they say can like reduce inflammation and stuff like that. Gotcha Yeah, but then you find yourself like suddenly you can't think or anything right? Get cloudy. Yeah, but maybe it's just part of the process. Do you do you do you drink caffeine? Do you drink like coffee and stuff or no? I've been off of it for a little bit. Yeah. Yeah So I do a cup of coffee. You do? Yeah, I do coffee.

Starting point is 01:22:06 I had a cup before I came here. That's why I'm so bright eyed. I normally have one earlier in the morning, but I didn't get one. I was kind of late getting it, but I got one in the afternoon and I realized like it woke me up a little bit. So that's good.

Starting point is 01:22:19 Oh yeah, dude. One time I took 30 days off a coffee man and I felt wide awake, dude. Did you? Yeah. I felt wide awake, dude. Did you? Yeah. I felt like rocking, bro. Really? Yeah. I think for sure, like, I also like the taste of it.

Starting point is 01:22:31 There's some people that don't even like the taste of it. But I enjoy a cup of coffee. There's some people like, oh, I need my coffee when I wake up because it's got to wake me up. I never drink it to wake me up. I drink it just because I wanted to enjoy a cup of coffee and that's a warm beverage. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:22:44 It's nice. Yeah, there's something nice about it cup of coffee. And that's a warm beverage. Yeah. It's nice, you know? Yeah, there's something nice about it. Something kind of romantic about it a little bit. By the fire, cozying up. Hey! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! What else is happening, dude?

Starting point is 01:22:54 What else is going on, Joe? I got lots, man, you know? I got my kids book came out, where's Barry's really fun. Yeah, and what's it about? So you had another kid's book a few years ago. I had a book. A cookbook. It was a photo I had a book. A cookbook.

Starting point is 01:23:05 It was a photo book. Photo book. The Dog Father, my love of dogs, desserts, and growing up Italian. Yeah. And I was still wearing COVID. I had taken pictures of my dogs because I'm a photographer, amateur photographer too, and I had done a bunch. But my Wards Berry book just came out and it's like a legit book,

Starting point is 01:23:21 which is cool. Got published by Penguin. No way. Yeah, yeah. Dude, congratulations. And that's Spumoni's actually in the book too which is cool. It got published by Penguin. No way. Yeah, yeah. Dude, congratulations. And that's Spumoni's actually in the book too. But that's my son and my childhood bear. He animated for me.

Starting point is 01:23:32 So that's really cool to see that happen, you know? And what happens with Barry? What's he dealing with? What is it? So my son, and at Remo, he lost his bear in its bedtime. So he's having a little bit of a meltdown, you know? And that's like the worst catastrophe for any parent. So he has to go find it.

Starting point is 01:23:46 But in reality, it's based on a story. My son is beside himself at night, and he's like, I can't find it. And I was like, all right, well, where'd you put it? And I had to teach him how to calm down and trace his steps. But he was decided in real life to play hide and seek with it, and he hid it under a pot in the kitchen, in a cabinet.

Starting point is 01:24:02 I never would have found it, ever. So I had to calm him down down and he went and found it. So I wrote this book up and I sent it over and the guy that did it, Luke Flowers, is awesome. He's a huge Jokers fan. He put a bunch of Jokers Easter eggs in it, which is really cool. I saw when I got the first things,

Starting point is 01:24:17 but it's a really good book. I mean, I like being a part of bedtime. I think it's pretty fun. I read it to my kids, my kid and my son. I went to their school, got to read it to the school, which was fun. Yeah. So my, my son's like, he's like, I'm going to book, you know, it's really cool.

Starting point is 01:24:31 Was he excited when his dad came to school or not? Yeah. Yeah. He's super excited when they, they love when I get to come to school and do stuff, but they come on the road with me too, which is cool. They're going to come on the road with me. Uh, next week, actually there'll be two weeks. They'll be with me.

Starting point is 01:24:43 Um, and they're going to come hang out on the road, which I love, I love to get to take them out. Yeah? Yeah, it's fun. They love coming on stage at the end and bowing, like they did at the end of the special. It's really fun. But they just like to be like room service.

Starting point is 01:24:57 You know, it's like, can we get pancakes? Like, you know, it's like, feels like a king, which is fun. They get to see these towns, which I like too. They get to go to different places. I like them to not be sheltered. I want them to see the world and stuff. Yeah, we were just in Milwaukee.

Starting point is 01:25:11 Milwaukee was a really amazing city that I didn't know it was like that. Oh yeah, Milwaukee is great. Bro, I had no idea. And then there was another city that we were just in. Springfield, Missouri. Springfield, Missouri. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:25:24 It's a sleeper. Yeah. It's a sleeper. Yeah. Yeah. It's a full moon. Yeah. And I don't even remember where else. Jesus. Yeah, but that's like my favorite part about it is like when you go to these little towns.

Starting point is 01:25:35 Two years ago, I wanted to perform live comedy. I wanted to perform live in all 50 states. So I did it. I checked off all of them. My last one was Fargo, North Dakota. I went through there. Yeah. What's your cool, such a cool little town, you know?

Starting point is 01:25:47 And then you get to all these little towns. I love that about going down Main Street. You see all their little stores. Oh yeah. Little bobbin pops. Every store, every street's got like a candles and bullshit kind of store and they got their coffees. You just walk around. I love that. That's so cool. Yeah, that is awesome. Oh yeah. Just a simple fact to get in a sea certain places, man like we got to go through like Eastern Oregon And that was just do you ever do the coast drive? Did you ever do that drive on like the Pacific Coast? I've never done it. Oh, no. Yeah, that's really fun. Wait, I've done it down by California, but I've never done all the way up

Starting point is 01:26:17 Yeah, so my wife when she was when I was she was still my girlfriend. I picked her up She lived in us off near Seattle this town in Seattle So we took her from Seattle and I drove her down to her parents in San Francisco. So that was such a pretty drive. And then when I lived in LA, I never did it all the way, but I've connected each piece, you know? But it's really cool.

Starting point is 01:26:33 It's like movie sets, it's unreal. You know, there's pictures of it, it's so pretty. Yeah, America is a beautiful country, man. There's so many cool spots. Yeah, we just saw some Mennonites too. We were in Little Rock, I think. And we saw some Mennonites too. We were in Little Rock, I think. And we saw some Mennonites outside of there. Bring up a Mennonite. There you go.

Starting point is 01:26:51 Was it creepy? Nah, they were cool. Did you see them at night? No. They disappear, right? I don't know what they're off to at night. Well, we saw some lit up ones. We saw some daytime ones.

Starting point is 01:27:03 Daytime Mennonites. It's my favorite type of Mennonite. Nighttime Mennonite, yeah, lit up ones. We saw some daytime ones. Daytime Mennonites. It's my favorite type of Mennonite. Nighttime Mennonite, that's kind of creepy. Yeah, that's like a major trope in horror films, right? It's like that type of life. Yeah, that's crazy. I could never do that.

Starting point is 01:27:19 What are people feeling? Is there a lot of, do you see a lot of political stuff up in Staten Island? Is it like a- Long Island? Yeah, not really. I mean, I feel like it's polarized everywhere. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:27:29 You know, but I kind of steer clear of that stuff. I don't, I don't really try to put my opinions on people because I don't know much about anything, you know, if you're gonna make your own thing. Yeah. Do you find yourself getting in the mix a lot? No, I think so. Like it's, like, it's hard for me to think about it and talk about it at the same time sometimes.

Starting point is 01:27:46 It's like, and I don't know when to like kind of put my thoughts in. Like this year we started having just different people on, like we had some politicians on and then we had like, like even last week we had Mark Cuban on and we talked about some political stuff, but some of it's hard for me to think and share what I want at the same time.

Starting point is 01:28:07 Right, yeah. Just some of those conversations, it's not as fun. It's not fun. It's not as fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then you want to. That's why people don't really talk about politics,

Starting point is 01:28:14 because it's a divisive in nature. Yeah. You got to pick a side. So yeah, you want to be respectful, too, of what somebody thinks. But at the same time, sometimes it's like you don't want to get into a rebuttal, and then it's like, you know, so it's just some of that,

Starting point is 01:28:26 it's kind of like a learning curve, even with doing podcasts and it's like, how do you get into conversations with people? Also when they have more knowledge than you do too about stuff, or they- Because you're learning and contributing at the same time. Or they think they have more knowledge, you know? Cause then you feel like, well, I think something,

Starting point is 01:28:42 but I may not know a fact on it, but it is how I feel, and when to speak up. When people try to talk you out of feelings, that's the worst thing ever. When you feel a certain way about anything, and they try to disprove how you feel about something, I feel like that's wrong. Well, blah, blah, blah, and I hit you with all these facts,

Starting point is 01:28:59 which some were probably made up you don't even know, and it's like, okay, but I still feel that way. Yeah, yeah. What are you trying to talk me out of, you know? Exactly, dude. Yeah. That's an interesting thing to... What else is happening in the news?

Starting point is 01:29:10 What else is going on, man? You read the news when you wake up? How do you get your news? That's a good question. Probably TikTok, websites. That's it really. So that comes across your radar. Yeah, kind of like that are things that I'll see

Starting point is 01:29:31 kind of over and over again. Dude, you see that snake that's head got bit off and it's still bit itself? Bring it up. Watch this. They cut the snake's head off, right? That's its head at the bottom. That is insane.

Starting point is 01:29:49 And so, yeah, that's from Satan, dude. You think it's having a bad day and then it just gets way worse. Oh, bro, look at that. It bit, its head was a foot away from the end of its body. It taps it and then there you go and then the other end of the snake curls over and touches the head just reflexively and It just opens his mouth and and instinctually just chops down on itself

Starting point is 01:30:15 And now the snake is like not only if I lost my head, but now it's biting me. Look I've tried to do some things to myself Look, I've tried to do some things to myself. You know what I'm saying? That's a talent right there. In junior high or whatever, but this is kind of crazy. Did you, do you have a fear of anything? Are you afraid of snakes? Oh, snakes make me very nervous. That makes me, I'm not really afraid of snakes.

Starting point is 01:30:36 That clip changes my opinion. Well, it makes me feel like they're directly from Satan. Also, huge corporations make me very nervous. Okay. Snakes and huge corporations are your two favorite ones? And sheer evil. Yeah, those are tough. Those are tough. Yeah, and genocide also makes me nervous too a little bit.

Starting point is 01:30:52 And we're talking to no particular order here. Yeah, yeah. I don't want people to- All three of those things make me pretty nervous. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes you see animals pull off some stuff and you just can't believe that they're real with stuff. You ever see like when you see these Falcons, they're like a hundred feet out of the water

Starting point is 01:31:10 and they see a fish and they just dive, get it out of the water and just come up and have lunch. It's like, I missed a turn on the way here and I have GPS. You know what I mean? It's like crazy. It's crazy what some of these animals could do, but biting yourself when you head off, that's, that's bonkers. That's some diddy shit.

Starting point is 01:31:26 Yeah. Look at those, these are nuts. They just die and they go underwater. They can't breathe. They're just diving and going. You're just like, boom, I'm just gonna grab this fish, right out of the water. Oh.

Starting point is 01:31:37 If you could train a Falcon to do that and you showed up at a bass tournament. Everybody's there with their rods, you're just there with a little helmet on it. Go ahead, Maximus. In 30 minutes, you're done. I love birds. You're done for the day. You do? I love birds, man. If I could have a falcon, I'd have a falcon. I had a African gray parrot for a minute. No way. The best. Maximus' name was, he was a little bird I had, he was so fun. Yeah, those guys, they're super smart. And are these the ones that can read and write or no?

Starting point is 01:32:10 Yeah, they're the most intelligent of the parrot. Wow. Yeah, they got that red tail, they're really fun. But I didn't teach it how to talk because I only taught it to go, like that, because they live to 80 years old. I don't want 80 years old to like, hello, like I don't want 80 years of saying hello to this bird.

Starting point is 01:32:25 So I didn't teach it how to say anything. Oh, dude, come on. So like, what am I going to do? I'm going to be answering questions? That's like having a toddler or whatever. You don't teach him anything. It's a bird though. He liked his life for a while.

Starting point is 01:32:35 It was great. And what happened in the end? I moved, I ended up moving to LA and I didn't have an apartment or anything and I was living with a friend, so I couldn't bring a bird in a bird cage with me. So I ended up, there was this bird rescuer that worked at, with the Bronx Zoo. And she came over and took it and interviewed her,

Starting point is 01:32:52 and she was really nice. They got a good zoo in the Bronx, a lot of Union animals. A lot of Union animals up there, it's clean. A lot of Union animals. Yeah, the Bronx Zoo is like one of the biggest ones. Wow. They do a big thing at the holidays too.

Starting point is 01:33:03 I think all the zoos do it where they light up like and do that like at night thing. Oh yeah. And it's really, really cool. Animals at night or whatever, like yeah. I saw, when I went to Australia, did the weirdest thing. They had the nocturnal animals,

Starting point is 01:33:17 they change their clock on them. So they make, they're all indoors in this facility, right? There's like these mice and whatnot. And they change their clock because they are supposed to be asleep at night, that they make it sun at night inside this building, it's sun up. And then during the day, they make it night in this building.

Starting point is 01:33:34 So isn't that a war crime? I think it is. I think these mice are like, hey, they get, they haven't get out in the wild. That's not gonna do it. But it's great. You walk in, it's like you're walking through the prairies at night.

Starting point is 01:33:42 I think it was in Sydney, the Sydney Zoo or wherever I was. And it was crazy. Like you walked in, it's like you're walking through the prairies at night. I think it was in Sydney, the Sydney zoo or wherever I was. And it was crazy. Like you walked in and it was like you were walking through and I had all these mice run around all these different owls, bats. Yeah. Yeah. I wouldn't be able to be a night animal, dude. No, you're too lazy. Well, it's just too risky out there. Something like attacks you in the dark.

Starting point is 01:34:01 Something always sees better than you. Yes. That's tough. Yeah, dude. And if you can't see that good and it's nighttime or whatever, and you're like, I'm an animal or whatever, you're done. These scary movies too, where people like run through the woods at night. No, I'm going to stay here until the sun comes up and then I'll figure it out.

Starting point is 01:34:16 Yeah. Like trying to run through and stuff. I can't do that. Yeah. Like they said this Friday, the 13th movies, they were like that. Yeah. Did you ever watch those? Uh, yeah, yeah, I did.

Starting point is 01:34:23 I did. I liked some horrors and stuff. Yeah. That's it. Nocturnal house. The Taronga Zoo? Yeah, yeah, I did. I did. I like some horrors and stuff. Yeah, that's it. Nocturnal house. The Taronga Zoo, upper nocturnal house, Australia. So see that, that's the indoor. So they totally change it.

Starting point is 01:34:32 It's broad daylight outside. You walk in tonight. It's these crazy squirrel things. And all the Australian animals are all batshit crazy. They got some weird animals over there. Well, even if you think about like, it's funny, cause if you looked at, like say if you walked into the forest or whatever,

Starting point is 01:34:50 and they had, you saw a bear in there, right? But he was drinking, you know, he's sitting there drinking like 20 cups of coffee and smoking cigarettes. And it's like on his computer all day, you'd be like, something's wrong with this fucking bear. The other bears are just having fun, scratching their backs on trees, dude.

Starting point is 01:35:11 Eating berries or whatever, and he's just over there like, you know. Gotta get this report to corporate. Yeah. You're like, this bear's got something wrong with him, right? It just shows you what sick animals, we are just like humans, We've gotten kind of sick. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:35:26 Bear appears to carry a laptop computer at Montana roadside. Nevermind. He was like, dude, I got to give Theo a story. Wow. People get stupid around bears though. They always want to pet them. Yeah. It's got to be the number one animal attack.

Starting point is 01:35:42 There's always a video in the background. The kid's like, touch him down. And people think they're scarier than them. They're going, oh, oh. Meanwhile, the bear ripped the head off. Like it's so dumb. Don't be a wimp, dad. Yeah, go get a wimp dad.

Starting point is 01:35:53 Dad puts a bike helmet on and goes to fucking talk to the bear. It's OK. And he puts his hand out. It's like, oh, oh. Like, what are you doing? The bear's like, I'm going to eat you, you dumb human. It's so stupid.

Starting point is 01:36:04 People get so ballsy or so scared of bears It's unbelievable. Yeah, I don't know why people think bears are friendly It's the one because they look cute right? But the people like oh they're friends But like nobody goes up to like lions and tries to pet them lines are cute too, right? But they're not as they bears have been like commercialized as being so cute the barren stained bears, right? The teddy bear. Yeah, the teddy bear.

Starting point is 01:36:28 Yeah, so- Bear grills. Yeah. Holy crap. People approach him like that. Give me a bear, it's gonna bite you. Whoa, whoa. People just bear spray him all the time. No, no, no, give him a double finger to a bear.

Starting point is 01:36:41 He's like, you're not gonna eat me today. Dude, that'd be the best you see see a bear like in a, uh, Hakeem Olajuwon jersey somewhere or in a nuggets jersey. And the bears, the bears going, Yeah, dude, nature's crazy, man. Do you think that we are, we're like divinely separate or do you think that we're just part of nature? Do you think that we are, we're like divinely separate or do you think that we're just part of nature,

Starting point is 01:37:07 do you think? I think there's a, I think we're, I think we're part, yeah, it's hard. I think we are part of it, but I'm not sure. I think we fit in in a different way. We think we fit in a different way than we do. I think it's like, we're supposed to be part of the mix way more.

Starting point is 01:37:22 We're not in charge of half this shit. Yeah, we're supposed to be part of the mix way more. Yeah, like in charge of half this shit Yeah, we're part of the mix way more X hundred percent like we have to put these animals in cages to control them and stuff I'm like where the dumbest features like yeah, really let him out of the zoo and see what happens. I Think it's crazy that way. Yeah, I love animals though Yeah, man, I think I wish I would spend more time running my we had a this Neuroscientist on and she was saying that yeah being around animals being around horses Horses even just if you have a big family and you all sleep together in the same house that it creates more like

Starting point is 01:37:55 Feelings of like low stress, you know, yeah horses are used a lot in therapy, right? Equine therapy where they call it where we like hug a horse you go to a ranch for like a month Yeah, there's a big it's like a horse hugging. That's a thing. I didn't make that up. That's real. It can escalate too. This horse I found love in Arizona. You'll end up in a deep and one of those donkey shows or whatever.

Starting point is 01:38:17 How does equine therapy help trauma victims? That's a good question. Equine therapy is an excellent option for trauma victims who have a hard time opening up about their experiences or who feel overwhelmed anxiety or panic. Equine therapy provides a unique environment in which individuals are able to heal their invisible wounds in a way that is intuitive and fun. It's fun. Therapy can be fun, man. This is a website I think trying to sell us something. Is there actually, can you find something that's a little bit more information? Just like the actual information, please. I'm curious about that. Yeah, there's a cuz how do you do it? You know, so it's basically just kind of like you're around because they're low stress animals or like, you know

Starting point is 01:38:55 You that you have to be calm around a horse. So you have to calm yourself down I think that's part of it So I think that's that that does it but it's it's weird Like you see these people like they're laying down with the horses and just petting them And they're you see what the problems are doing with it's crazy. Oh, yeah, I'm at two alpacas outside of a Lowe's outside of Parks outside of Park City What were they picking up some? picking up some two by four

Starting point is 01:39:22 No, I don't know what they were doing One of them named macaroni. I remember that. But I love to put that video in of it. The movement of horses can improve motor function and core strength. Uh, no, the psychological effects of e-quinetic that they're become from the horse's ability to recognize human emotions and provide an intentional response.

Starting point is 01:39:40 Okay. So if you're like, you're freaking out, they'll just come over and be like, look, it's okay. I'm a horse. Improve self-esteem. I'm okay. Yeah, man, I think my brain just feels slow today. Do you ever have slow days?

Starting point is 01:39:53 Do you take days off sometimes? I just got off the road too for a few days. And it was just like- That's always the hard one, yeah. You think? Yeah, I think when you get back to settling, it's nice. You're trying to readjust because your clock's off too, right? Because you're having that high of doing a show at night,

Starting point is 01:40:09 meeting all those people and doing everything, right? So it's a little different. You don't get that at home. Yeah. Yeah. What time do you normally go to bed if you're at home? If I'm at home by 11. Oh, really?

Starting point is 01:40:19 Yeah. What about you? I go to bed probably around 1. No way. 1 AM? 12, 1, yeah. No way. 1 a.m.? At 12, 1, yeah. Joe, that's late, dude. Yeah, I know.

Starting point is 01:40:28 I probably should get more sleep. But, like I said, I sleep hard with these dogs. I get a good five hours that I'm raring to go. I'm a napper though sometimes. I'll shut it down for 20. I like a good cat nap. Oh, yeah. I'll grab a nap.

Starting point is 01:40:39 You nap? Yeah, dude. I like a nap. I think napping is the best. I think they're the best. Could you nap for longer though? Like if I go over like 25 minutes, half hour, I'm like, I slept. Like I need to go to sleep.

Starting point is 01:40:50 Like I can't, you know? My dream is to take an alarmless nap, dude. Wake up when the body says it's time. Yeah, dude. Before God starts pulling on your strings again. That's right, yeah. Blacked out curtains. Maybe the AC's on.

Starting point is 01:41:03 I like it. AC on, earplugs in, fan on. Yeah. One of those Vietnamese water fountains playing in the back or whatever. You got it, of course. Water dripping directly on my forehead in the center. Like I like, I like to be like a POW. That's it, getting out, right?

Starting point is 01:41:17 Oh, I want, yeah. You do ear, do ear? I want somebody that's just, let me, a small tin of beans around eight P.M. That's the only food. Do maybe little paper cuts on your foot Did you do air do you do like I'll do earplugs? Yeah, I'll wear earplugs now so nice to like 11 a.m. It's like there's just too much noise in the world. I don't want any of it. I don't care Wow, I've heard so much of it put the earplugs in see people. They don't know. Yeah talk loud to them

Starting point is 01:41:46 My god neighbors loud. Yeah. Theo's got his ears going. Do you have them in now? No, I don't. All right, good, good. But I'll put them, yeah, I'll put them in a lot, dude. That's good though, to slow, shut you down. What else do I do?

Starting point is 01:41:59 What's something else that I like to do a lot? Oh, I used to sleep in a neck brace when I was young to try to make my neck longer. Do you ever do anything like that? Stretch it do a lot. Oh, I used to sleep in a neck brace when I was young to try to make my neck longer. Do you ever do anything like that? Stretch it out? Yeah. No, I didn't sleep in a neck brace, but I had a... It's hard, it's pretty hard to do.

Starting point is 01:42:15 Did you have braces growing up? Oh yeah. Yeah, so I had braces. I was the last one to get it if some, my doctor totally threw this thing, where you know, he had the headgear thing. And like he, because I was the last one in the family, he was like milking it.

Starting point is 01:42:27 He didn't want the gatos to be out of that orthopedic, orthodontic game, you know? So I had to wear a headgear for like, for five, I braced it for five years. And he was like, you had to wear the headgear, you know, when you sleep. And I was like, you know what? I don't want to wear it for five years.

Starting point is 01:42:41 I'm just going to wear them all the time. So I just used to wear it like 24, seven. I'm not the head gear. Yeah. I don't have the head gear on like air traffic controller. I would have just have the like peace thing. Yes. So that that's a, that's a little bit.

Starting point is 01:42:53 Yeah. Could you Google like 1980s? Like that's, that's like, give your mouth over thing. Yeah. That thing. Yeah. Like the headband thing, the same thing. So bro, early braces was crazy. When you saw somebody with that

Starting point is 01:43:08 shit on you, like, what are you a part of? I'd go to school like that. Yeah. What? Cause I didn't want to wear braces for so long. Yeah. It was weird. That's what I, that's the only thing I really did, but that was because I wanted to get, be done with it sooner. That might be me actually. That picture right there. That third one, that guy looks troubled, dude. Yeah, he's like, I don't want to do this. Yeah, those things were crazy, dude. What were the first braces ever, I wonder?

Starting point is 01:43:35 What did they look like, the first teeth braces? I don't know any before this. Besides the silver things, they would glue to your teeth. They put it on with the adhesive to the front of your teeth. That's what I had. The exposed ones, kind of like 2D has right there. Yeah, and then they put the ones with the little rubber bands on them. You have to bring back the overbite. But then the big one was when they went to a clear front, clear ones, so they were trying to fool you that it was clear. Egyptian mummies were

Starting point is 01:44:01 found with metal bands around their teeth. Andologists believe they used Catgut to tie the bands together to move them. Primitive orthodontic appliances were also found with early Greek and Roman artifacts. Really? They were getting in that straight-your-teeth game early. But imagine using catgut. Catgut your tongue. That's right where it comes from. Oh we thought it was got its cat gut your tongue And we saw when we saw the mistress here Dude, you got cat gut Bro, oh, oh my god. Oh, they like drilled through the teeth though. That's not right

Starting point is 01:44:37 They had done that that doesn't seem correct horrible ideas. Yeah, this is also who knows if this is a reliable website It's one two three dentists This is also, who knows if this is a reliable website, it's 123dentists.com. So. They might have put this up together in Canva in the package and like threw together a graphic. Bro, that's the crazy thing about news nowadays. You don't know what's news and what isn't.

Starting point is 01:44:56 I mean, it's crazy. You don't know what is real, what isn't. You can go down a rabbit hole. You can, and even the real. You find something that gets disproved on the next page. Yeah, and the real news channels, they're not even serving you news. No. So it's like, what the fuck are they?

Starting point is 01:45:09 Their opinions. Yeah. Yeah. That's why I asked you where you get your news from and you said TikTok. Yeah, dude. Which is an insane answer if you think about it. TikTok, rumors. What my neighbor says. Oh, for sure. Whispers at the coffee bean.

Starting point is 01:45:25 People things yell out during sex or whatever. Anything you hear about that. I heard from Doreen, my neighbor. Trust me every now and then when Hank's home early, she leaves her window open and you'll get the real scoop. She's yelling, SpaceX is saving the astronauts. Like God, what do you guys come already? I'm sick of hearing this.

Starting point is 01:45:51 Dude, you, what about all that diddy stuff, man? He's going to go down, huh? You ever meet him? I never met him. Never met him. No. We're asking everybody now in New York. He was always around, but I never, I never met.

Starting point is 01:46:02 I mean, that was, you know, I'm only in the public eye for a decade now. He's been around forever. I never really ran. I know I'm not seeing him though. It was kind of crazy seeing that all that happened. You know, I, to me it's crazy. I wonder if say he does have tapes or information on like other other people, right?

Starting point is 01:46:22 I wonder if they are gonna use that to get people to support different, like I wonder if the government is gonna use that to get people to support different agendas, political agendas. Like that's what I wonder. It's like, okay, this tape won't come out. We need you to support this candidate

Starting point is 01:46:41 or we need you to support this bill or policy or something. Yeah, I mean, it's not beyond comprehension, right? I don't think so. Yeah, I mean, there's definitely stuff that people are afraid to have out there for sure. I mean, you know, he famously said that he's got tapes of stuff and everybody knows so. And then imagine if you were ever even there,

Starting point is 01:47:02 even if you were just eating an hors d'oeuvre really hard. Before you realize what's going on, you're just having some deviled eggs. You turn to your left and you're like, I should leave. But they already got you on camera eating deviled eggs. That's rough. A couple of four eggs and a baguette in your mouth or something.

Starting point is 01:47:17 And people are like, this guy's involved. I don't know. That would be, ugh. Yeah. That's right. I mean, it's going to be interesting how it shakes out, for sure. I think it's going to be a long time coming out, though. That see how it shakes out for sure. I think it's going to be,

Starting point is 01:47:25 that's going to be a long time coming out though, right? That's not going to be like a, I think it's going to go on for a while. Yeah, they got to drag that out. They got to drag that out for sure. Yeah. What else is going on? This is a, you're such an interesting fella.

Starting point is 01:47:42 I am? You are, yeah. Do you feel that? Because you are one of the most interesting people to sit down with. I love it. Every time we sit down, dude, I love it. Really?

Starting point is 01:47:49 I just feel like, yeah, I feel like my brain is a little bit off today, kind of. It's actually been good. I just sometimes feel a little bit like, I don't know. Like you got too much sleep, you didn't get enough sleep. I don't know. Yeah. You know?

Starting point is 01:48:01 It's a mixture of both. You need a nap. We got to tie you up and drop some water on you. Are we OK? Get you in some sleep. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it's a mixture of both. You need a nap and we got, we got to tie you up and drop some water. We okay? Get you in some sleep. Yeah. Did you ever go do one of those military shows abroad? Like a military tours? No, no, I didn't. I wanted to. I've never did that. Have you? Yeah. It was pretty cool. Was it cool? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just cause you get to go to places you never would even think that we have like military presence and you're like, Oh my gosh, we're in this place.

Starting point is 01:48:25 And like, suddenly you're performing and there's just like people, you know. Do you get like the military escorts and all that stuff too? Is that like when you get, when you're going on the way there? I had a girl who offered a BJ to me once in a blackhawk. That's not, not that kind of escort. I meant like they take you.

Starting point is 01:48:42 Not like a girl who's in the military offering. Yeah. I know what you're talking about now. This girl, but she had like, oh my God. Yeah. I just remember in a black hog. Yeah. She's like, there's black hog down. She was black hog down, man. She was white hog down. But she, yeah. Well, I don't know what she was into. She was white hog down there. But she, yeah, and I, I, gee, I just, I didn't do it.

Starting point is 01:49:10 I think I got too nervous. She also had a big, huge pimple on her neck and it made me nervous too. Yeah, that's a, that's not gonna do it for you. It just made me so nervous. I was like, I don't, you know. Don't you have one neck herpes. I was like, you know

Starting point is 01:49:31 So, I don't know that shit But then oh one time there was another time on a military I think it was an Air Force base they were doing like runs in the morning and some girl came by my room in the morning and I Don't remember what it you know I don't exactly know what happened but it was all above board or whatever yeah yeah but uh they'd love to on the basis yeah she was she probably a little late for work two minutes late for work but still yeah just a couple minutes. Just a couple minutes. I'm not going to brag. She was, yeah. 80 seconds late for work.

Starting point is 01:50:07 A minute 30 at most. Yeah. I hear that. What's been something that you didn't expect about heading off in a stand-up comedy? Like, did you expect it would be different? Do you expect it would be like the challenge of it? Like, I know you've always been on stage and been a performer. Yeah, the challenge of it for sure.

Starting point is 01:50:22 Like, to have to talk for 65 minutes, like, you know, and do all that and just put it together that way, that was really, like, the crafting of the hour was such a, it's such a really cool thing to do, you know? And being aware enough to be like, this isn't as funny as the other stuff, this has to go. That was such a weird thing. Like, the editing of the hour, you know,

Starting point is 01:50:42 is like where you think this is gonna be a great part of it and then you go and just some other stupid thing that happened and you're like, oh wow, this is so much funnier than that. And it becomes a big piece of it. Like a year into the tour, I found a different story and I just was like, oh, I gotta pull this out. This is not as funny as the other stuff.

Starting point is 01:50:57 And that was pretty cool. I never really experienced that because you think you have it. You're like, oh, this is a great hour. And then you have something like, no, this is a great hour, you know? have something like, no, this is a great hour. Yeah, I just had my son and I had a story about my, in the new special messing with people,

Starting point is 01:51:09 I had a story about my son going on the Star Wars ride. And he didn't, he didn't really, he'd never been on a ride and he never saw Star Wars. He's five years old and he thought he got abducted by aliens. So he legit, he started screaming, I want to go back to earth. And it was so funny. And like I saw, and I was told Steve Byrne that story. So he legit, he started screaming, I wanna go back to Earth. And it was so funny. And I was told Steve Byrne that story as we were driving

Starting point is 01:51:28 and he's like, dude, you gotta try that in the hour. He's like, that's funny. He's like, tell that story. And I was like, what? And that night we were driving that night, he's like, just tell it, just start telling it. And I told it and then I just started in bed, like working it out and figuring out what a punch was wearing.

Starting point is 01:51:39 It's such a cool part, but I had never really talked about my kids at all. And that was like, that's a really cool piece to add to the puzzle. And a really cool way to do it. I wanted to do it. Let's see just a just a bit of it. Big Star Wars ride. Any other Star Wars fans up in here? I got to go on that Star Wars ride that they built. And if you don't know about it, they spent like hundreds of millions of dollars

Starting point is 01:52:00 on this ride. It's basically a movie set. It's unbelievable, but it's also an immersive experience, which means everybody who works on the ride is in character. They play a character. So when the ride starts, you're in the woods with all the rebels and they move you down the line. Thanks for joining the fight. You go through the woods, a big alarm sounds and they go, the first order is coming. We got to get you out of here. You turn the corner. There's this humongous spaceship. The doors open, you get in with these big led monitors all around you, these 90 inch TVs, and you take off into outer space. A battle begins, you get sucked onto the Death Star, and the next time the doors open, you're on the Death Star face to face with 100 animatronic

Starting point is 01:52:35 human sized stormtroopers with their guns pointed at you. And I was like, this is the coolest thing ever, are you kidding me? This is so cool. What a cool experience for me. Not for my five year old son. Who's never seen a Star Wars film or been on a ride. That's good, dude. Wow, that's hilarious, dude. Yeah, when you take it back and think about that. Yeah, I think like he's gonna think he was abducted like later he's gonna be on like a Netflix documentary.

Starting point is 01:53:08 I got sucked in his face and they sucked on my butt. Why is it that everybody is taking his face? Everybody gets there and probed everybody. What is so interesting about our assholes? I don't know. Because and we can't even see them, dude. That's the scariest part. If all the information is there and you can't even see it,

Starting point is 01:53:28 that's the shit to just like, what are we fucking doing out here? That's why they're the higher intelligence. They got all the secrets we keep in our ass. Yeah, dude. Meanwhile, we look at dogs, like, look at these idiots. They're all like reading each other's QR codes. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:53:43 I know. Oh, that's the devil's QR code right there, dude. That's true, huh? And you know, no two assholes are the same. It's just like your fingerprints. Same exact thing. I don't know if that's true. Really? It's the 11th fingerprint. Maybe they call it that. Google the 11th fingerprint, see what it says. Ha ha ha ha. I think, you know what?

Starting point is 01:54:08 It seems possible, but I don't know if that's a fact. But also, how do you prove that? You got to know everybody's asshole print? Yeah. What is the rarest fingerprint type? Well, that's not it. Arch. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:54:20 Arch holes. Ha ha ha. The arch holes. 11th fingerprint. I'll use the numbers. I think you have to write it out ele v and th Yeah, it's gonna be one two three dentists is gonna tell us Fucking hiding the truth. That's it. Here it is, man. We gotta ask your neighbor Wake up Spumoni Google. I get the real news. Yeah, wake up, Spamone. Yeah, come on, Spamone. She's been great, man.

Starting point is 01:54:46 Thanks. Oh, she's doing great. Joe Gotto, you got the new special, Messing With People. It's out now on YouTube. It came out September 17th, yeah? 13th? Yeah, September 17th, yeah. September 17th.

Starting point is 01:54:58 You have your new children's book, Barry. Where is Barry? Where's Barry? Where's Barry? Yeah, where's Barry? Came out, and then I got, I'm on tour now at my new hour. Let's get into a tour. And where is the, where's Barry, what ages is it for?

Starting point is 01:55:09 It's four to eight. It's a picture book. Yeah. Beautiful man. More people who just one day wanna have children. You know, if they don't have kids now, it guarantees that you'll procreate actually. Really?

Starting point is 01:55:19 Yeah, it reads, it's in the, it's on the back flap. It's the opposite of the thing for the rats. So that's why the rats can't read it. If you play it backwards on a record player, yeah. Thanks so much, man. I appreciate you guys. Show's coming up in Memphis, St. Louis, Indiana, Akron, Oklahoma, Texas. Yeah. I'm in Atlantic city, October, uh, I think 19th. Yeah. How are you doing a lot of shows? Yeah. Yeah, I'm in Atlantic City October, I think 19th. Wow, you're doing a lot of shows. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:55:47 I've been, so I just kicked off the new tour. So you know how it is, you know, you get out there and do it. Yeah, I'm excited. Yeah. Well, dude, thanks so much for all the entertainment over the years, man. You're the best.

Starting point is 01:55:56 It's always so great to see you. It's been awesome. And thanks for the nice gift you gave me a nice, like, it's like a, it's almost like this, it's like a counter puzzle thing that you had sent to my room and whenever we're in Milwaukee Yeah, it was just awful. It had like a funny note on it but yeah, thanks for all the thoughtful humor over the years Congrats on the new special man and Yeah, and you have also have the podcast

Starting point is 01:56:18 Yep, ma to cool moms to cool moms with Steve burn with Steve burn. Yeah, find that wherever you get here Thanks so much to you for hanging out. I appreciate it. Love you, buddy Love you, man reach that ground I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones but it's gonna take a little

This Past Weekend - E535 Joe Gatto

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.