This Past Weekend - E553 Grace O'Malley

Episode Date: January 6, 2025

Grace O’Malley is a comedian and podcaster originally from Boston, MA. She previously co-hosted the Barstool show “Plan Bri-Uncut”, and has a new podcast launching next month. You can also see h...er live on her “Down for Anything” tour happening now.  Grace O’Malley joins Theo to talk about growing up in Boston before heading to NYC for comedy, how she found herself as the co-host of one of Barstool’s most popular shows, why she’s going solo now, and what she’s got planned for her new show coming to the Unwell network.  Grace O’Malley: https://www.instagram.com/gracekomalley ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit  https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ  Acorns: Go to http://acorns.com/theo to sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $20 bonus investment. BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp — go to http://betterhelp.com/theo to get 10% off your first month. Blue Chew: Go to http://bluechew.com to try your first month of BlueChew for free.  Oracle: Go to http://oracle.com/theo to see if your company qualifies for this special offer.  ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/  Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Cam https://www.instagram.com/cam__george/  Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:01:41 Make sure to go through that site. And thank you so much for your support. That'll still be the return of the Rat Tour. Today's guest is an entertainer out of the Boston and New England areas of America. And I got to see her backstage the other night when she was performing standup here in Nashville, Tennessee. She got her start with bar stool sports and I've been a fan and I'm looking forward to
Starting point is 00:02:12 get to learn more about her. Today's guest is Miss Grace O'Malley. I've got three younger sisters. I think y'all do. But I'm the milkman's because I'm a redhead. You're the milkman? I'm the milkman's. Oh, the milkman's kid? Yeah, my mom's a whore.
Starting point is 00:02:42 Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, damn. I yeah, I wish I wish Huh, oh, yeah, thanks. I wish um my mom would have gotten laid more. I think yeah. Oh Yeah, I think she was I don't know she was making love to maybe this auto mechanic one time I don't know he would always come around and look around at us Auto undercarriage Yeah, I think yeah, he was just,
Starting point is 00:03:05 I don't know what he was doing. He might not even have been a mechanic. I mean, it was in our town, it was like, if you were greasy enough and kind of, you know, people would do mechanicing in their yard, you know, type of thing. Where like, come drop the car off in my house. And people would do a lot of like,
Starting point is 00:03:20 at home mechanicing type stuff. Like tag your it, you've got the car now? Oh no, just like, it was like, uh. Like people didn't have to have a real shop to be a mechanic. Oh gotcha, alright, cool, cool. You know, so people could just do it at home. Oh, I never come empty handed to anything,
Starting point is 00:03:36 but I've been in limbo all day, so this is the best I could do. I heard you're on again, off again, quitting. Damn, you brought me this. Air bar. I heard, sometimes you I heard sometimes you're quitting sometimes you're not but mostly you're trying to quit so I feel like an ass but. No it's nice of you. Very sweet of you this is very um yeah it's almost
Starting point is 00:03:55 like the first Thanksgiving or whatever you know whenever they did that. Yeah so that's very nice. Yeah and I've actually been doing good about quitting. I think the tough part is, uh, the worst thing about quitting is that you have to every day you're like, I'm going to quit and then you don't. And then you, she's, you set yourself up for failure. Yeah. It's a, it's a commitment that I just, I don't have the willpower to do. Yeah. Have you tried it or no? I was supposed to start dry January yesterday and I just didn't. Yeah. I couldn't, I don't have the willpower.
Starting point is 00:04:25 I wanted to stop this going on. We're going to try again today. You got it. Yeah, it's another day. Yeah, yeah, that's the thing. January is a lot of pressure. It's a lot of pressure at the beginning of the year to get it all right. Yeah, but for what though?
Starting point is 00:04:38 We're just new all of a sudden? We're just going to flip it off? Well, I think that's the goal. I think that's the goal. It just feels kind of tough. Yeah, it's a's kind of the goal. I think that's the goal. It just feels kind of tough, you know? Yeah, it's a lot of pressure. It is a lot of pressure, dude. God, being alive is just damn,
Starting point is 00:04:51 it's a lot sometimes, you know? It just feels like a lot. Grace O'Malley, thanks for coming in today. Thanks for having me. I'm super pumped. I tried to play it really cool the other day, but I am a very big fan. Oh, thanks.
Starting point is 00:05:03 Very big fan, so this is very sick. Yeah, I'm a big fan of yours, too You always just seem like a just like such a human. I mean why not? Yeah, like I don't know What's wrong with half of these people? It's kind of fucking out of control I think well, I think if people get into like the spotlight or get like popularity popularity ego All that stuff is super dangerous, you know? Yeah. And you don't realize it sometimes,
Starting point is 00:05:27 like you can be getting infected by it or that like, or suddenly you'll try to super manage how you're perceived, which some of that's normal because you want to protect yourself. But I think all of that's just, it's scary. Yeah. I mean, like you just gotta, you gotta say, you gotta be yourself. Yeah. That's what it is, you just gotta, you gotta say you gotta be yourself. Yeah. That's what it is. You just gotta be yourself. But if yourself has been
Starting point is 00:05:48 asshole, then maybe you should change. If yourself's an asshole, bro. Yeah. Cause they got people out there now that are not even gay, that are being gay. They have, um, all types of people, like fake Native Americans. Every week they're busting one of these politicians for saying they were Honduran or something. Just a lot of bullshit. I know. I wish I had the 23andMe to claim one of those things
Starting point is 00:06:15 because I feel like if you can claim it, you can say it. Yeah. There's a lot of words I can't say that I would love to claim to be able to say. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm trying to think if you seem like uh cuz what are you you are um? I am a mech. I'm Irish. You're right pretty pretty inbred. Yeah, okay. Nope. No. Yeah, no judgment for me here. I Yeah, I think yeah Irish or some people are really fucking Irish
Starting point is 00:06:39 Have you seen that video of that baby's like breastfeeding and he orders another tit or whatever. Oh my god I know I haven't seen that but that's classic. It's the most Irish shit Pretty much the way he like orders around for everybody in the room or something It's some they're breastfeeding it like a family thing or whatever like a birthday or whatever One of my worst jokes I ever wrote was um, like one of my first ones was that I'm so Irish that I was breastfed Guinness Yeah Stupid yeah Like one of my first ones was that I'm so Irish that I was breastfed Guinness. Yeah Stupid yeah That's a rough one kind of I told some rough oh, uh, oh my one of my first jokes is like Oh, I need a job a blow job
Starting point is 00:07:23 So yeah, I stopped by the comedy club the other night and you were doing standup. How long have you been doing standup? Just so, because some of my audience won't know you. So you're a podcaster and a comedian. Yes. Okay. And how long have you been doing standup?
Starting point is 00:07:37 So I moved to New York in 2020. I was doing it like here and there on like the streets because you had to do it like outside at the time. And I was- Oh, because of COVID? Because of COVID, yeah, yeah. And so I did like on and off here and there on the streets because you had to do it outside at the time. Oh, because of COVID? Because of COVID, yeah, yeah. And so I did it on and off here and there, but started taking it serious around January of this last year. Okay, of 2024? 2024, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:55 Okay. And so what did that mean, taking it serious? Just getting up more, getting into the circuits or what? Yeah, it's like an oxymoron saying taking it serious because it's comedy but just like going up as much as I could like networking I guess and putting myself out there kind of thing so I've been going up as much as I could and Whitney Cummings ended up taking me on the road with her. Oh, Whitney took me on the road with her. Whitney did? Yeah, she did. Oh yeah, that's awesome. Yeah, so she put the fire under my ass. She came on, I used to have a podcast, it's no longer, but she came on as a guest and she was like,
Starting point is 00:08:31 I fuck with you, you should open for me. And I'm like, you don't want that. And she was like, no, just do it, just say yes and it'll all follow. So she put the fire in my ass and I just grinded. Wow and so you were just, now was it like you were overnight suddenly on stage having to do a lot of time or no? So she gave me 15 which turned into 20 and she just kept at I guess I was doing something right because she kept
Starting point is 00:08:57 adding me to more cities so I was like alright I guess I'm doing pretty good. Yeah. That was nice. So you're from originally from where at? I'm from pretty good. Yeah. That was nice. So you're from, originally you're from where at? I'm from Boston, but like outside of Boston. Okay. Yeah. And do people from outside of Boston look differently at people than inside of Boston? Culturally probably.
Starting point is 00:09:16 There was this thing in the 70s called busing where they brought African American children into the city. For schooling and stuff? For schooling, yeah. So some people didn't like that, so those people, they left, and that is unfortunately where I come from. That's for your family.
Starting point is 00:09:37 You were birthed out of those people. Yeah, those were those guys. People make their choices, you know? They have, yeah, they have, yeah, cause Boston's interesting, they got a lot of racism up there, you know? They have, yeah, they have, yeah, cause Boston's interesting, they got a lot of racism up there, you know? Yeah, but it's, you know, it's not as loud as it is down here, so it's-
Starting point is 00:09:52 Yeah, the South, it's more, the South has more of that kind of slave magic history, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We just have just little innuendos of bad history and bad things we did, I guess. Yeah. So, it's still up there, though, for sure. Yeah, it depends on what side things we did, I guess. It's still up there though, for sure. It depends on what side you're on.
Starting point is 00:10:08 You should just meet my dad. You'll see it there. Is he a fireman or no? No, he wanted to be a police officer, ended up being an electrician, but he fucked that up too. What, doing electricity? Yeah, he got electrocuted. Oh, he did?
Starting point is 00:10:21 Yeah, on the job. And he said he saw God, he started to be a believer, and Tyler Childers walked him into heaven when he died. Tyler Childers? Yes, Childers, yes. The musician? The musician walked him into the pearly gates. So that's my father.
Starting point is 00:10:37 You almost gotta believe him. Yeah, well, I mean, yeah. You know, I mean, that's a real- But like, that guy's still alive, so I don't know what that illusion was with him. That's true, yeah. I'm not really sure. Yeah, why would a guy who's not even dead
Starting point is 00:10:49 come and help you? That's nice of him. Yeah, it's really sweet, but that makes me, it's like, oh, that's potential. Yeah, that's when it got a little fictional. Yeah, like you were having a bad dream, then you woke up and you were blasted. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:59 Yeah. Yeah, dude, being electrocuted, it's kind of under, it's not, it doesn, uh, it doesn't get as much credit as it deserves really. I got got once by, um, electricity. Little fork in the outlet action? Uh, no, when I was at a fair or something, uh, I was, we used to go to the carnival down the street from our home or whatever.
Starting point is 00:11:24 And they had, they would let you ride the rides the day the street from our home or whatever, and they had, they would let you ride the rides the day before the fair opened up. Oh, little test monkeys. Yeah. Nice. So we're out there and we're doing it or whatever, and they were just like plugging shit in
Starting point is 00:11:35 and whatever and ever, you know. And I would try to get off one of the rides and I like grabbed two different railings and I think I connected some circuit or whatever and so I was just like this, you know. Oh, shit. Did your friends see your skeleton like the cartoons? No, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:11:49 My friends they kind of ran off. They're like, oh, something's, you know, this isn't, we don't want to be involved. It's going to be a superhero. Yeah, this guy's not doing good. We don't want to be involved in it. And some guy called me, I think a f***er or whatever and kicked me in the back. And I was like, okay, he saved my life, but he still called me a f***. So I was like, well, you know,
Starting point is 00:12:07 but that's what you get kind of around the carnival. But that time, and then I was walking behind a food truck that was serving crab meat or whatever, which I don't trust. That sounds really wrong too. Yeah, I don't trust crab meat that's that close to like a gas tank, I think, you know? Yeah, no, that's fair.
Starting point is 00:12:23 I think crab meat should be fresh from the ocean yeah like right from the ocean I actually when we got here this weekend I had I had crab legs I'm like what am I doing I was shit my brains out this whole last oh yeah yeah yeah yeah you're in land block right now right yeah I don't know what I was doing never seen a crab anywhere around here I've never had money before so I was like yeah we'll get some crap legs. This is sick rest smooth as Tennessee Crab legs babies getting a grill The crab legs this baby's getting a grill and we're getting fucking Gay that I could get
Starting point is 00:13:16 I'm trying to think of shit that we got like there are that yeah, what was your what was your first new money buy? Oh? I got a fucking cyber truck was the only thing I've ever really gotten for myself That was like expensive. Somebody was telling me about that and they were saying that you thought that nobody would recognize you in that thing? Oh yeah, that's what I thought at first. Are you ready to march? Yeah, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I thought everybody would have them, you know? That's gonna make people do many double takes. Oh, it was horrible.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Once at the car, second at you. Yeah, it was horrible. Or sorry, once at you, second for the car. No, it was all horrible. Because, but whenever you first got them, I got home. I ordered like five years ago, right? Because it was $100. Oh, that's like putting it on the wish list. OK.
Starting point is 00:13:51 Right, so for $100, you could be like, I got a Cybertruck coming. It was online. It was just on layaway. Yes. That's rich people layaway. Yeah. So I was like, yeah, I'm getting a Cybertruck or whatever.
Starting point is 00:14:01 And then I kept bothering Elon on Twitter, where are they you know give them you know Are you guys on on a basis of like no talking? Okay. No, I don't know I was just tweeting at him and stuff or like, you know Saying stuff like that and then um Finally one day I got home I'd been on time for a few weeks and it was in my garage Oh sick and so I was like, holy shit, dude And at first when you would drive down the street people would like there were people cheering people at American flags
Starting point is 00:14:32 There were Mexican people out there doing this and dancing or whatever That's from president You're like where did these Mexican people come from, you know? Ole, ole, ole. And you were just driving, but really they had like, we are the champions. It was like gay people, people were coming out of the closet in front of you.
Starting point is 00:14:53 You had girls flashing titties. It was a lot, yeah, it was just a lot going on, you know? And yeah, I did it, I thought it automatically would have extra darkness on the windows, you know? And it didn't. So for a long time I thought it was like, yeah, obviously, I can just draw, there was extra darkness.
Starting point is 00:15:15 And then my buddy was like, dude, you gotta get those things tinted. And I was like, oh shit, man, they're not tinted. And then, so finally I did get them tinted. Well, what was it, run DMC or the? Fuck I forget who it was what they said tinted windows don't mean nothing. They know who's inside really? Yeah So you're fucked And and so is the guy who waited five years for a cyber truck just to blow it up
Starting point is 00:15:41 What a science experiment. Oh, yeah, some guys did that huh? Yeah bring that up dude. Actually you know what's funny? I thought about getting like a big fuse and putting it like hanging out of mine. Oh yeah. That's a goodie. Oh he did it for 4th of July. He did it for New Year's? That's what it does look like. It does look like a spectacle. I think it was to a political point in front of Trump. Oh in front of Trump Tower. Wow. I think one person did die so it's tough to find a point in front of Trump. Oh, in front of Trump Tower, wow. I think one person did die, so it's tough to find a joke there, but I mean.
Starting point is 00:16:08 It was probably some Middle Easterners like getting a picture next to it. People are always like, can we get this? Can we? And you're just like, leave me alone. I'm gonna blow a lid. Don't come and ask me. But the problem is the horn sounds
Starting point is 00:16:21 a little bit effeminate too. Does it? Yeah, if you hit the horn, like a couple gay dudes will kind of walk over They still have prostitutes that work the streets Do they? Yeah. Not here. They don't have to anymore. Where's just some good, where's streetwalkers still in America? Can you pull that up, please? Because I've been looking. I've told my friends before. I don't get laid much. That's just a fact about me. But I told my friends, just surprise me with a hooker one day.
Starting point is 00:16:51 And don't tell me it's a hooker. A male hooker? A male hooker. They exist? I'm not sure. I think that they, yeah, definitely. I mean, there's like Italian guys, if that's what you're talking about. Gross.
Starting point is 00:17:02 But I don't know what you're looking at overall. Nevada has the largest commercial sex market in the United States when adjusted for population. Oh, word. Okay, number of prostituted people. Nevada has more than twice as many prostituted people per capita as California and 63% more than New York. All right.
Starting point is 00:17:20 So they still have brothels there. All right, so I'm moving to Nevada. Might have to go to Nevada to get it. Yeah, there we go. Yeah, I wonder what would that be like for a woman? Because I've gotten a Lady of the Night or whatever they're called, a mystical pussy. Yeah, just one time on shore.
Starting point is 00:17:36 I don't know what they call them. Yeah, a mystical puss. Yeah, I got one in Amsterdam, right, where people go get them. Oh yeah, that's like the prize, the Mecca. Yeah, the Mecca of Horus. It is, that's like the prize. Yeah, the red like, the Mecca of whores. It is, it's like the Istanbul of like, you know, midnight couture or whatever, you know?
Starting point is 00:17:51 And so I went there and, oh, here was the funny part, my buddy and I, both of us like, acted like we weren't gonna go there, so we both like went off by ourselves. Oh, you went to these two separate rooms like, hi man! Yeah, night bud. And then saw each other there, we both like went off by ourselves. You went to separate rooms like, all right, man. Yeah. Night, bud.
Starting point is 00:18:07 And then saw each other there. That's tough. That's when you just have to embrace it and then just do a force up or something. But here was the sad part of it. You go in there and it seems like it's very alluring and the mirage of it is very compelling. But you go in there and right when you go in their door, because they're standing out there and there's kind of some red lights inside of the room,
Starting point is 00:18:28 you go in there, in the main door, and there's like a bouncer guy right there. And he's very, you know, tough guy. And he says something real tough or something. And then you kind of go like that. And then you go into the room, and it's very much like a doctor's room. Like everything's kind of like covered in like paper or class. It feels like...
Starting point is 00:18:47 Classy. It feels like, uh... It feels very clinical. Clinical, okay. So it's routine, it's like an appointment. Right, that's what it starts to feel like. So the magic of like any like, you know, romance or whatever is going on. Were you looking for lust and love? I don't, I think everybody probably. Probably.
Starting point is 00:19:10 I thought you were looking for just like a white willy. No, I'm one of those guys who like would leave the strip club and be like, man, I think I'm, you know, I think there's a chance we're going to get her off the stage. You're going to give her a pep talk the next time you go in. They're like, hey, Annabelle magic. I think I'll put you in community college, babe, you know. So much better than this you could be so much more oh wow that sure is something. So I think it's very hard like I can't get an erection like around broken glass or I can't get an erection I'm realizing around like some environments like that that are so clinical. Have you ever spent a
Starting point is 00:19:41 night in jail? Yeah. So that's like exactly that how could you get right? How do you get off that feels like jail? Yeah, with just a little silk. Yeah, it's kind of crazy Yeah, it's a slightly silky jail silky jail. I would go to silky jail smoothie jail. Do you have a mugshot? Um, I don't know if I'm a mugshot. That's a great call. That's a great question If I do it's in Mississippi or Louisiana off to check. that's a good thing to look up for that would be sick merch Wow, is that supposed to be you? And then this one's just literally your headshot not a mugshot Wow, yeah
Starting point is 00:20:28 Go back up to your tiny baby boy in that and that blue shirt one very young very impressionable There I am. Yeah, what did I do? It was kitty porn. Oh no kitty vids. Yeah Ki tty. Oh, so it's meow. Yeah. All right. No problem. What about you you been in? No, I'm dying to though because I would like I would like to uh, I'm upshot. See you in there I would yeah, it would be good. I think I'd run that thing like a McDonald's I'd see you in there keeping stuff in your bra Yeah, and like it they come to me and they gotta ask,
Starting point is 00:21:06 like oh, do you want red dye number two? You want some lipstick? Because that's what the girls do in there, they go crazy. Yeah, you wanna watch them call it on? You want me to thread your eyebrows with some, I don't know what they'd use, but I'll find out. And I'll be the head of the market. Yeah, you want me to pull some Clairol out of your pussy or what?
Starting point is 00:21:26 Like people smuggling makeup in there. Yeah, I mean is Clairol still makeup. I don't know what that is. You don't? Not sure. Um. I could pretend. Clairol. I thought it was a makeup company, is it? All right, sure. Um. Fuck it. What does love look like for you? What's your love life like? Do you have a boyfriend or you don't have a boyfriend? I do not have a boyfriend. I have
Starting point is 00:21:52 You might have said that too, sorry. I've never had one and I'm 26. I know and it's like everyone always does that. It's like, ah rats. Like damn, every single time I'm like, oh I should just let that person have that reaction because it is crazy.
Starting point is 00:22:07 It is crazy, but I have to address it. But it's also pretty special though, I think. Yeah, when I find that Mr. Special Guy, it's going to be real good because I've waited this long, I suppose. Yeah. So, yeah, 26 years. You ever missed them? Do you feel like you've missed out on some good ones or no?
Starting point is 00:22:24 No, no, they don't really, they haven't missed them. Have you? Do you feel like you've missed out on some good ones or no? No, no. They don't really, they don't really flock. You'd be, you'd be totally shocked that I'm not flocking. I don't really scream, um, uh, fuck me. Like I don't really have fuck me eyes ever. So I think I'm more of like a, a bro to some people. Like my way of flirting is like misogynistic. Oh, like kind of, yeah, just being buddies.
Starting point is 00:22:44 Yeah. Just being like, yo dude, like check out her tits or you can check out mine if you prefer. Yeah, I'm the thing Yeah. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah So haven't had luck thus far hence the male hooker. Did you have a like a high school prom date? He is now I had to ask him he was a year older and he is now she and we don't, I have, I have. Is he straight still or in a woman or is he now a gay woman? I'm having a hard time picking up the pieces because we don't talk. You know those people you just have to be like fix the clues in and see what they're all about, like the little clues that they put out there. And then I didn't go to my senior prom you didn't know I was one of those
Starting point is 00:23:28 I'm still waiting to get picked up from my senior prom in my head. Oh foolishly Yeah, one day But yeah, dude. Yeah, that's definitely I got stuck after the prom This dude was crying and he had barred his his dad had left them a long time ago and he barred his mom's business blazer and had those uh Shoulder pads in it. Oh classy Yeah, it was classy, but it was also just like a sign of the times
Starting point is 00:23:55 You know yeah like young men being raised by single moms and having to wear their mom's business blazer to the prom Yeah, I guess I could have had it worse and it kind of broke. It was like he was bawling about something. He thought he looked like Damon Wayans or something, but some bullshit or whatever. I don't know. He was out of his fucking mind. And I was trying to get laid, but also be nice. I was waiting to go see my girlfriend, but it was just a nightmare. But this was your buddy? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:17 I know I got stuck giving him a ride after prom. Oh, fuck. To this party. And he started just bawling. Damn, it's not that bad. Take it off, just wear the t-shirt. Yeah. Underneath. But he's like, everybody says I look like Damon Wayans and I wanna have my own life. And I was like, motherfucker, you don't look anything like Damon Wayans. Is he black?
Starting point is 00:24:35 Oh no, he was kind of like tan or whatever. Like bitch, you don't look anything like fucking Damon Wayans, dude. You're closeted homosexual. Just fucking come out of the closet so we can go to this party. You wanted to wear that. You bought it specially. Oh, he loved it. Like fucking damn way is dude your closet and homosexual to You wanted to wear that you bought it Was he bald He did have a skinned head and he um had uh You know any seen kind of black sometimes just for fun But he was a great guy
Starting point is 00:25:04 Dang that's I guess that's interesting interesting. Sorry to act like that about that. No, no that's actually, I think it's hilarious. But now does it become a thing where you don't have a boyfriend because it's almost become a thing? Yeah, like I'm like too far in now. So it's like I don't really, I'm not looking, I don't really give a shit at this point. It's just, it is what it is. If it comes, it comes. But I would love to love to come one day And are you saving yourself for marriage type thing or you know? Well, I would be if I could be If I had it coming towards me like that, oh my god, I'd be a whore but I'm basically Accidentally celibate which is a beautiful thing really, you know some women
Starting point is 00:25:43 They say oh, it's so easy for a woman to get laid, they can have whoever they want. No, it's not true. There are some of us that have a really hard time. Really? I know a lot, I feel like I could name at least five or six guys that would definitely make love to you that I know firsthand.
Starting point is 00:25:57 Oh wow. And have seen in the past two weeks, you know? Wow, and you've got some cool pals. I mean, or just, you know, like, like I mean cuz yeah, I don't even yeah But it's like what am I even talking about is that a crazy? No, it's great to hear actually that just gave me a little bit of a boost. Yeah, are you kidding me man? I know some people that would definitely probably Knock you up even
Starting point is 00:26:22 People that would just be amazing I was thinking about it the other night I'm like, you know what? So anti having a kid But I guess if I had one I would have to have it because that would be my only shot You know only shot at what having a child? Because if this one guy wants to bust it in then I guess I got to put one out It's like it seems like a sad thing people, but this is just my life. No, Grace, it's definitely, you know, I think there's a lot of semen heading your way in 2025.
Starting point is 00:26:52 Oh my God, I can't wait to guzzle it down, my man. It's gonna be good. But like, it's funny to not be a whore, but like really wanna be. Yeah, that's a great. There's something special about that. Yeah. Because most whores, they don't wanna be.
Starting point is 00:27:04 They wanna be known for something other than their hole or their box. Right, but then they're just out there Yeah! There's something special about that. Yeah. Because most whores, they don't want to be. They want to be known for something other than their hole or their box. But then they're just out there slurping or whatever to feel decent. Yeah. But at least you don't have to do that, huh? Yeah, I guess. I guess. But you know, mouth's wide open.
Starting point is 00:27:16 I'll wait for my special day. I don't either. This is why I don't have a daughter, dude. This is why I don't have a fucking daughter, dude. What do you do if your daughter is like a tramp and you're the dad? I don't have a daughter dude. This one. I don't have a fucking daughter, dude What do you do if your daughter is like a tramp and you're the dad? Ah? That's me you got to start. Do you have a talk with them you think have any of your friends ever there? They're like damn my dad had a talk with me because he knew I was like
Starting point is 00:27:41 Getting smashed so much or a lot of sex or whatever I think when you start having the talk is when they develop more of a daddy problem. It's like there's nothing you can do as a father, I feel like. It's just like their decision to be what they wanna do. Oh. I suppose. I don't know, I've never been a whore yet, yet. So, we'll see.
Starting point is 00:27:59 If you had a daughter, what would her name be? Probably something from that Scarlet Letter book. What are some names in that book? Something from the, you know, the days when people used to die on long ship journeys type shit. You know what I'm saying? Hester, that's beautiful.
Starting point is 00:28:19 Hester, maybe a Pearl. Pearl. Roger Chillingworth, that would be one. Yeah, maybe a you have? I got Danger, but we call him Danny. Danger? Danger. And everybody in Boston named Danny anyway. No matter what their name is, it becomes Danny. Yeah, it doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah. It could literally be Roger. Danger is good. Yeah. Yeah. It's my name is, it's Roger, but they call me Danny. Yeah This kid yes, so like when he's filling out medical forms. He has to write danger, but everybody knows him as Dan or Danny
Starting point is 00:28:52 Oh, yeah, I think it's good. That's a cool name. Yeah And he could get a cool job. He could be I'm trying to think of what he could be anything. He could be the caution sign when you mop the floor Yeah, could be anything. He could be the caution sign when you mop the floor Yeah, it could be Traffic guard I feel like I'm blowing this am I blowing this this conversation. Yeah, no, I feel like it too Okay, do you feel like I am no, I feel like I'm blowing Ask you about the best Sometimes where I just have to be like I feel like I'm fucking this up
Starting point is 00:29:24 No, I think it's interesting is I never really I don't think I'm too honest sometimes where I just have to be like, I feel like I'm fucking this up. No, I think it's interesting because I never really, I don't think, I'm not good at like, I don't talk to women that much about sex stuff. Yeah, I never talk about sex. Really? I'm just trying my very best. Yeah, thanks for trying. Yeah. I have no personal experience.
Starting point is 00:29:37 Dude, well, hold on. I'm like, I'm like writing a book report on a book I've never read. We're going to get somebody to come in here and just... Look, I'll do it like this and you guys just figure it out. Oh, shit. Oh, dude, that's crazy. You know, when I was growing up, I had a job cleaning out wishing wells over there in my parish. And there weren't many of them. Yeah, I agree, You know, but I wasn't much of a worker as well.
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Starting point is 00:32:58 Yeah, it's good. It was okay, I got a fever or something, you know? And so I was like, everything was miserable, kind of. Yeah, I feel that. I had an ear blow out. I can't hear out of this one. Really? Yeah, like at all.
Starting point is 00:33:10 And what occurred? Were you guys out on the water? I was on an airplane, and like three weeks ago, it just blew. And this is just a nightmare. I've never had it. I can't hear. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:21 It's pretty brutal. But other than that, pretty classic of a holiday. Good stuff. You spent time with your family? I did, yeah. Nice. Are your parents still married? They shouldn't hear. It's pretty brutal. But other than that, pretty classic of a holiday. Good stuff. You spent time with your family? I did, yeah. Nice, are your parents still married? They shouldn't be. They can't afford the divorce.
Starting point is 00:33:30 They looked into it. And so I'm just working really hard this year so they can get there. Dude, that's such a great thing if at the end of the year, you actually have a big divorce for them. I think they'll be stoked. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:41 It'll be really good. And they still live outside of Boston? Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's beautiful. Yeah. And so you have, so just so my listeners know, so you, I know you, because we had Brianna Chicken Fry on, you guys had a podcast together.
Starting point is 00:33:54 Yes, yeah. And it's called? Plan Bree Uncut. Plan Bree Uncut. Yes. And you guys don't have it anymore. It's no longer. It's no longer.
Starting point is 00:34:02 Yes. And so you guys, and you guys had been friends for a long time. Yeah, we were friends forever. Okay. Since we were like in fifth grade. Oh wow, kid friends. Yeah. Oh that's cute. Since we were little baby children. That's sweet. And have you guys kept a good friendship after? I know that there's been like, I'm not trying to get into like the tumultuousness of things or whatever, but how is, how does that stand today? Because it must be tough to like have a business with a friend.
Starting point is 00:34:30 Yeah. I was just, I've always just, like in 2020, she got the job at Barstool and like had to move to New York for it. And I was taking a semester off from college and she was like, do you want to come with me? And I was like, yeah, fuck it. Why not? And so like I door dashed on foot when we got there and stuff and like she slowly but surely like was trying to get me a job at Barstool. Oh really so really hustling for you. Yeah so like she like really like like stuck her neck out for me and like we ended up doing the podcast together after like a year of living there and it was just so much fun we had a blast it was always fun doing
Starting point is 00:35:04 it. Yeah a lot of's clips are so great. Dude, we were just, shoot the shit, good banter, but you know, we're just, I think we're just going through a rough patch right now and we'll, I think one day we're going to figure it out. But she's doing her thing, I'm doing my thing and I still love her so I'm being a politician right now. You feel? Trying my best. You know what's interesting is I've had times where I was like, I was going through moments
Starting point is 00:35:33 with friends and stuff, you know, and most of them evened out over time. But the toughest part about it was in the times where we weren't getting along or we were having differences that I didn't have my friend at times. That was really the shittiest part. It was like, even though I would have like a leg to stand on about why I was upset about stuff, sometimes I'd be like, man, fuck Scott, dude. I'm gonna call Scott right now and tell him.
Starting point is 00:35:58 I couldn't even call my friend. I'm so fucking fired up. I want to, when you get done with the conversation, like, ah, dude, you know who would really help me out with this? Exactly who I'm talking about. It's want to get done with the conversation like ah dude You know who would really help me out with this exactly who I'm talking about It's fucking brutal. It's tough. That is kind of the worst part sometimes was just hitting that type of moment We're like, oh man, because it's hard to kind of have good friends, you know, yeah, you still have pals from growing up Oh, yeah, yeah some good pals from growing up
Starting point is 00:36:20 So and then I've made more over the years kind of like people go through things a lot of friends get married and stuff And since I'm not married you kind of fall into this weird place where you just become like you're just friends with Whoever's not married. Yeah, that's kind of fucked up. Yeah, what does that start happening? I would say probably in your 30s It starts getting we're like well, I guess it depends on where you're from like where I'm from, Louisiana people get married early Yeah, yeah, and so you lose a couple guys right out of the gate and right after get married their hair falls out immediately I don't know why it's well at least they locked it in beforehand. That's true Yeah, and maybe some of those guys know their hair is about to fall out. Yeah
Starting point is 00:37:00 Dad is just having a conversation with him. Hey buddy. Yeah, it's it's time to get that ring and put the knee down Like that. I'm only 15. No, they always had that one kid that went bald way early, you know And people using to buy alcohol they're like, yeah By liquor and be like he's only like he's bald He just took the foot out his 401k fine He rode here on his bicycle it you'd think a fucking child is bald, damn it. He's a DUI, he already bought the boost. That's why he's on the bike.
Starting point is 00:37:31 Selling the liquor, damn it. So yeah, but I still have good friends from when I was growing up. I think, yeah, and then I met, you know, it's been like, I think like, since I work in business where I kind of travel around and stuff, you meet a lot more it's been like, I think like, since I work in business where I kind of travel around and stuff, you meet a lot more people probably than you do
Starting point is 00:37:48 if you just stay in one, live in one town. Yeah, I do think everyone should get out of their town at some point. Oh yeah. Because like, you don't know what you're missing if you don't. Yeah. Like, I thought everybody was Catholic growing up.
Starting point is 00:38:00 I never knew any Jewish people, I never knew anyone who was different, and I didn't find out until my junior year of high school that there's other religions. Oh, yeah, that's pretty retarded. Yeah, and you guys are so Catholic is the one With the priests. Okay. Yeah, the one where they're playing freezeg with the kids, but they didn't tell the kids and that's that's where I thought I could get some but oh really they only like the boys. Oh, yeah I've been trying every angle for years anything you put eye black on or anything I guess I could have shaved my head, but they see right through that with the tits, you know Oh, it must be horrible in a pre-seed tits. He's like
Starting point is 00:38:33 Good day, so you shall not be blessed Yeah, I never been I'm trying to think if I ever been Catholic or not I might have been we were we were Presbyterian for a while I know and then my mom got in a fight with somebody outside of the church once and said then we I think we were I think we're Methodists or six Methodists or something. I don't know how many there are I gotta ask my mom Is that like Mormon shit? No, it's just like, you don't drive far to the church, wherever that one is. Okay, yeah, sure.
Starting point is 00:39:09 Like the closest church or whatever. The Lemonade Stand Church. It was very, yeah. It was, yeah. It was like, okay, this is it, you know? Yeah. Yeah, it was like that kinda. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:22 But, okay, so now, so you ended up in New York. Yeah, yeah. Was that your first time you had lived in New York when you went there with Brianna? Yes, yeah. Wow. So I've been there for like four years and... Do you feel like you're fitting in there now or is that... Well now with stand-up, I'm like, I'm like, oh, finally, I love New York.
Starting point is 00:39:39 Like, I needed like my thing and I finally found my thing. Yeah. And so I've been loving that and I was just too scared to do it. I was just being such a pussy. To get up on stage? To get up on stage, yeah. And even give it a whirl. Open mics and shit, I just wouldn't.
Starting point is 00:39:54 Yeah, because you're so endearing. I mean, one of the things that I always admire about you is just you being you is, it's immensely charming to like, it's like immensely charming to like, it's like you can't help but not like want to follow along with your world it feels like. Yeah, that's really sweet, thank you.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Yeah, it's great. I try to be like just myself and like open and honest, but my problem is I do this accent and it comes out only sometimes. So I've got like this Boston accent, but sometimes it's on, sometimes it's off. So people are like, you're doing a fake accent. But I don't even know I'm doing it.
Starting point is 00:40:37 So I don't know who I am. It's kind of crazy. If you don't know who you are, then you're a comedian. Then most comedians don't know who they are because that's why they're putting on a show. Some of the show is over time, they're trying to figure know who you are, then you're a comedian. Then most comedians don't know who they are because that's why they're putting on a show. Some of the show is they're, over time, they're trying to figure out who they are. They're trying to manage this presentation
Starting point is 00:40:52 that they put to the world. I think because when they were young, maybe whoever they were didn't feel comfortable or whatever in the world, so they started making this them. And anyway, that's a little bit meta, I think. But what was the, did you ever, there was ever a point in your life where you're like? Oh my god? I want to be a performer I liked I liked when people laughed I didn't I didn't know I didn't I think I didn't I never really trusted people that much, but I knew if they were laughing
Starting point is 00:41:27 that They couldn't Not like me. Yeah, like I feel like it would be impossible to hate somebody and laugh at the same time kind of yeah Because you can't you can't fake a laugh, right? You can but you but if you're telling but I would know yeah I know a genuine laugh, and I know a fake laugh Yeah, and if you're just gonna fucking hate me and be a dick then you're not gonna laugh in general And then I could wean you out. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, so I think there was something like that for me probably
Starting point is 00:41:58 Do you think you kind of had that comedian thing like that? You know that you wanted to be a comedian or do you think that you just wanted to be a performer? Did you kind of know what it was like where you wanted to end up and do you still know? I've I've always wanted to do stand-up. I just didn't think I could I didn't think it was an option and I there's a part of me that like wishes that and this is I guess serious, but there's a part of me that wishes I Was able to get into stand-up before anything else because I just want to be... I don't want people to think I'm just doing it for shits and gigs
Starting point is 00:42:32 to have this other thing. It's like that's what my main focus is and that's what I love. It just so happened that one came before the other kind of thing. And I wish I got more of the reps in before people started coming. Right, and coming to see you. But I appreciate people coming and seeing you. But I really wanted to get it right. I didn't even want you to stay the other night.
Starting point is 00:42:55 I was like, one day you can see it, not yet. It's not there yet. But it's good enough to buy tickets, but it's not there yet for you, no shot. Oh, it was just cool to see you and your friends in the green room. That was dope, dude. And just like to see, like, just, I wanted to like kind of see what your energy was about going up on stage and the room was buzzing, man. People were so excited.
Starting point is 00:43:17 I think especially with podcasts and stuff, I noticed this. I've sat in the audience and watched some of my friend tour podcasters as well. I noticed this, I've sat in the audience and watched some of my friend tour podcasters as well. And you just wanna kinda listen and be there in the room with them. You're like, that's my person or that's my friend. Whatever it is, I fuck with them, I just wanna be in the room while they're doing whatever.
Starting point is 00:43:37 Yeah, yeah. And I've done the podcast touring. That shit is so easy. Oh, you mean being on stage with, just as your podcast? Yeah. Oh, I've never done that. It is so easy. Oh you mean being on stage with just as your podcast? Yeah. I've never done that. It's so easy you just it's like you have segments you do the same thing every night you like you can switch around with jokes depending on the crowd but compared to stand-up like it's a walk at the park it's like you're it feels like stealing. You're stealing money from fans that adore you. It's
Starting point is 00:44:02 like it's not fair. What? But I never made any money off of it. Really? Barstool took it all, yeah. Off your tour? Yeah. No way. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:12 I had an interesting contract. Yeah. But I loved them so much. Are you still working with Barstool? I actually just recently left. OK, so if you leave, that means, do you still have your rights to? I didn't make anything when I was there. Half of your podcast, but you had a contract, you got paid something annually.
Starting point is 00:44:32 Yeah. So I got, I had a salary. Okay. And that was, that was kind of it. And so I had the option to leave and I took it. Was it a good salary? It was decent. It wasn't equated to. Was it like $ salary? It was decent. Um, it wasn't uh equated to Was it like five hundred thousand dollars no nothing close to that now My buddy was made a little bit more a lot of it more a whole shit ton more. Okay So there was discrepancy in power there was but she was doing another podcast and whatnot
Starting point is 00:45:01 Oh, that's right. She was bringing a baby different client different fans from that. Oh, yeah. Yeah got it So it's all relative. Yeah, and also some of that stuff is as much as it like it's like It's live and learn sometimes. I also didn't care I was just happy to be there right like I was like literally just I was stoked to just have the job Yeah, so I was at one point. I was working for free selling t-shirts just paying for my own Yeah, it was crazy. I was like yo, I t-shirts just paying for my own I'm just like really happy to be here Do it anyway, I can't yeah, it's about to grind Oh, yeah
Starting point is 00:45:34 And I you know what I think no matter what and no matter what you get involved in you have to go through that You have to go through periods of that yeah, and even with stand-up. You can't escape that It's like you just have to you know get it on stage. We all you know It's like we all learn it. I still learn it every time I take some weeks off and go back on stage. It's like, God, this feels new and scary. And my balls just hide inside of me. That's the new thing I'm learning is,
Starting point is 00:45:55 because I haven't taken time off this whole year, and with Christmas, I took like two weeks off, and I fucked myself big time. I was like, Jesus Christ, this is bad. This is bad news, bitch. Those shows, I don't know, they were fine, but they weren't great, I fucked myself big time. I was like, Jesus Christ, this is bad. This is bad news, bitch. Those shows, I don't know, they were fine, but they weren't great, I'll tell you that. It was tough.
Starting point is 00:46:12 What, do you have like a close, or like do you have it set up? Like are you telling stories? Are you telling more jokes? Like what's your set like right now? I'm kind of all over the place. I'm trying to find my thing. I'm doing half jokes, half punches.
Starting point is 00:46:25 The punches are corny. Oh, some of the punches to the jokes are corny? Yeah, I don't know if you can tell, but I hate my entire set at the moment. I really think it could be a lot better. But that's why I'm doing Dry January when I hit the ground running. Oh, for sure, for sure.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Try some new ones. Now, do you feel like a comedian, or do you feel like somebody that's pretending to be a comedian? I feel like I'm pretending of course and you can tell It's brutal. I'm like I really want to be taken serious, but I can't even take myself serious fucking fool I'm just foolish at least
Starting point is 00:47:00 But you know what dude I'll pay to come watch you be dishonest And you know what dude? I'll pay to come watch you be this honest. I will pay $42 plus fees, okay? To come to a room and watch somebody be this honest. Just like fucking sweating. Sweating through my pants. It's really not as bad as I'm making it out to be. Hey! But... No, but I think, look, there's something about honesty.
Starting point is 00:47:26 There's not as much of it in the world. I would literally pay to go to a room and watch somebody be honest with themselves about what's going on. I'm learning it. I think we all pretend to be something until we get the hang of it. Yeah. You know?
Starting point is 00:47:39 I just, I mean, I look up to you. I look up to like all your buddies. And. Well, we just been doing it longer. We don't know the fuck we're doing. But you've got it. I just, I mean I look up to you, I look up to like all your buddies and Oh we've just been doing it longer, we don't know the fuck we're doing But you've got it and it's just like so awesome to see, I just can't wait for the day I finally get it, you know? Yeah When did it click? I don't know, I mean I think it like about 11 years you start to be like
Starting point is 00:48:03 I don't know, there's some different moments. I mean, thank you, that's sweet of you to say that. I mean, I definitely feel like I don't have a, like this is, like it is my job now, you know? For a long time, I didn't know if it was my job. I felt like it was, but you keep going home like at Christmas and you don't have a real job. And you can be like, I'm a comedian, like, whatever, dude,
Starting point is 00:48:21 where's your husband? Because everybody just thinks you're homosexual. You know? Until you get on some sort of television or platform. Like, oh, he's actually very successful. You should have been rooting him on. I'm good for him. Yeah, maybe we'll scratch out these
Starting point is 00:48:34 f***ing posters that we drew. Wait, actually, will you sign this? We're actually a huge fan. And like, it's a poster that says, you're a f***ing, you held up at my show. But yeah, I'll sign it. Thanks, guy. So yeah, I'll sign it. Thanks, guy. Um, so yeah, I think there's like...
Starting point is 00:48:48 So that kind of stuff gets tricky. And then I think there comes a point where it's like, you don't have anything else, and so it's like whenever you give up anything else, like there were times I quit to do real estate, there was times I quit, and I f***ed up like the third contract ever, didn't I? I had to pay somebody's lease for like six months
Starting point is 00:49:05 How'd you fuck up that bad and put myself as the? guarantor That just takes one John Hancock to pay six months rent I had to go live with my girlfriend and I'm paying rent for these other motherfuckers I Was going through some weird shit, sometimes I would pee in the sink at night at my girlfriend's, because I didn't want to pee loud and wake up the family, right?
Starting point is 00:49:32 Oh, with the family, oh shit. And the cat would go in there and like mill around in a sink and fucking snitch me out the mom knowing that I was urinating in the sink. What's that talk sound like? Oh She said it your boyfriend been peeing in this
Starting point is 00:49:54 It's not the first boyfriend's ever peed in the sinker she's kind of into it the moms into it I remember her daughter texting me mom knows But the piston in the sink who knows whatever grace going through it I suppose Who knows whatever grace You got I mean you're gonna figure it out and I think it's interesting these days I think because I'll say this there used to be more of stairways for how people got into comedy, right? Yeah, there was like Obviously you got on stage, but then you got on different like little, like there was like a Comedy Central 10 Minutes or there was like these, now there's like Dry Bar and different groups like that, but there was other small groups
Starting point is 00:50:33 where you did comedy sets that they put out there, right? And now a lot of that's disappearing. There was like, what was that? Late Show, there were some late shows where you would just sit around in a panel, right? Where people would start to build their name. And now I think just a lot of podcasting has kind of become that.
Starting point is 00:50:53 It's taken the place of a lot of things. That's true, yeah. Whereas before there was maybe more acting roles or things like that for comedy. Because there's not even that many comedies now, like shows Not really no not so much. I Think that's I think that's the new wave that they're trying to do right now is that they're trying to
Starting point is 00:51:16 Cast for a lot of comedy shows because there has been like a lull yeah That's what I heard so I think that you have to have some place where you start to build You know that's like an entertainment outlet, So I think podcasting is that, you know, I think it's just kind of become that. Or Tik Tok or some sort of like just, you know, people's own social media, you know? Cause sure you have the podcast, but then also the clips are kind of what bring people into your world a lot of times.
Starting point is 00:51:38 Yeah, that's true. That is really true. I also feel like I'm preaching at you, do I? No, no, no, I'm listening and I'm taking it all in because I, it was clearly I need it. I need it all the. Do I no no, I'm listening and I'm taking it all in because I Clearly I need it. I need But you don't don't take any of my ideas no, no don't take any of my uh, I'm not trying to give you any advice No, no, that was that was the advice you gave don't don't uh, don't take anyone's advice. Was it the other night? Oh good. He said oh well, I just fucked that up
Starting point is 00:52:01 Don't take anyone's advice. Was it? The other night. Oh, good. He said, oh, well I just fucked that up. Because that's even advice, huh? Damn, what an idiot. I guess I haven't podcasted in a while. I'm pretty rusty.
Starting point is 00:52:11 I'm usually good with the banter. No, you're always great. I usually go with the jokes. I feel like you're doing good. Your sister's here. Shout out Nora. What's up, Nora? Nora's here.
Starting point is 00:52:21 We're trying to figure out, so Nora just graduated from West Virginia University. Wow. And we're trying to figure out what we're gonna do with her. She needs a job, so I'm trying to think of what she can do within the realm of working together. Do you have some skillsets, Nora?
Starting point is 00:52:36 Pretty much. I can edit. You can edit. Yeah, so we're thinking she's gonna be doing the social media side of things. Great. Yeah, so. That'd be nice. She's tagging along. It's good to have someone that knows side of things. Yeah. So that'd be nice. Just tagging along.
Starting point is 00:52:45 It's good to have someone that knows you very well. Yeah. So. Yeah, and just find new things that are creative. That's just like one of my goals I started thinking of for this year. It's like, well, what things could I do that would be create? Like would seem like unique or that I could try
Starting point is 00:52:59 and be more creative. What do you got so far? Well, you have to, that movie is coming out. Yeah, me and David Spader are making a movie. You're making a movie. It's in the process of being made right now We still have to yeah, we wrote it and we start making it in January. What's the writing process for that? Like are you allowed to talk about it? Yeah, we just try I mean it took us like two years and we try to get financing nobody wanted to help and so we're Making it ourselves. Oh no shit. Fuck yeah, that's sick. So it's like, yeah I think I thought, like I never wanted to be an actor or anything like that
Starting point is 00:53:29 and I don't really think that that is a world of mine, but I thought like if I look back and I was like I get a chance to make, I got to do something with David Spade who I like idolized. And do you Skype and write or? We would write together. Together? Yeah, I still have my apartment in LA
Starting point is 00:53:46 So whenever i'm there, well, we we've worked on it over the years in tons of ways. Oh, fuck. Yeah, but it's been fun I can't even believe it. I definitely have learned a lot and um We think that it's funny, you know, but if I look i'm laying in my deathbed or whatever Yeah, I think it'd be neat to be able to say that I got to do that. Absolutely. And also that I tried to do it. You know, because people may make it seem like you can't do this. You have to have all these special people like, I haven't had an agent help me, nobody's... And so that to me is like the kind of shit that I like. Oh yeah. You don't think I can do this? Watch me. Yeah, fuck you. You know? I'll prove you wrong. Yeah. There's nothing, the only thing difference between you and me is that you've done it already
Starting point is 00:54:25 Hmm, that's the only thing that's fair. I don't know that shit makes me fucking activated for somebody No, dude, you're locked in I love to see that. I don't know why well you're excited you're jazzed I don't know if I'm excited. I think I'm just fucking angry I'm ready to hide somebody's kneecaps in their ass dude. Do you even spay just spaded people? I mean it'd be look if anything I get to sit around with him for five weeks and laugh and we have a good time so it'll be cool Um when do you know something like that's done? That's the toughest thing is scariest is that Like you know once you move on you can't there's no yeah like that scene or whatever is locked in yeah
Starting point is 00:55:03 You know so and I'm not a great actor You know it's like I you know I'm gonna do my best. I have a plan and And I'm excited about what we wrote you also worry that if you wrote it now, and it comes out in Seven months will any of the will it jokes to be funny? I'm sure that sort of thing I'm sure you guys timeless timeless humor. He does. I don't know fuck. I'm doing But he's definitely so I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, dude. But he's definitely, so I don't know, it's just a lot of little things you learn,
Starting point is 00:55:28 like oh, this is maybe why I don't, this isn't something that I love. What did your mom get you for Christmas? My mom got me a megaphone for Christmas. And I got her a trip to Hawaii. So, uh, a little different. And your dad too to go to Hawaii? No, that's what's kind of fucked up, I'm realizing. But my father and I, we have a tricky relationship.
Starting point is 00:55:55 Really? Yeah. And do y'all have any brothers? Does he have any sons? No, even the dog's a lady. So, yeah, the poor bastard, everybody always says, but it's what he gets, he says. I guess he was a fucking asshole growing up, so. Was he to who, to women?
Starting point is 00:56:11 It must be, yeah, he must have been a fucking prick because he says, I deserve it, that's what I get. Four women and a lady dog. Yeah. Yeah. And what happened again? He was in a fire, what happened? He was electrocuted on the job, so he's the guy, when the lights go off in the city,
Starting point is 00:56:27 he turns them on. And he got zippy zapped. And now we're doing the same drugs. He does ketamine therapy. Does he really? Yeah. And he does his in a doctor's office and I do mine under the Brooklyn Bridge.
Starting point is 00:56:44 It's a little different. Hey. Yeah. Dude, my buddy Ernest used to do it in a doctor's office and I do mine under the Brooklyn Bridge. It's a little different. Hey. Yeah. Dude, my buddy Ernest used to do it in a car wash all the time. He'd call me. I was like, how are you doing? He'd be like, get him into the car wash. It's raining.
Starting point is 00:56:55 Wow. And is your dad kind of a romantic guy still? Do they still have a romantic relationship, your parents? Um, no. I'm just trying to envision him. Just absolutely no. Picture like any Irish guy with like a scally cap about like yay high, wide, one dead tooth. Oh yeah. The old Andrea Gale, huh? Yes. Chewing tobacco but he doesn't care anymore. It's just all in his teeth.
Starting point is 00:57:22 It's just all like... Like a fucking salad bar hanging out of his face. Confetti, tobacco all over. It's like every day's a party in his mouth. Yeah, like that guy that's fucking whistling tunes, just whistling the soundtrack of the departed Just rehearsing for lines. He doesn't even have he just always wanted to be a mobster. Who's on the ball? Who is on your Boston?
Starting point is 00:57:55 Mount Rushmore, we've got Ben Affleck. Oh, yeah, Matt Damon. Mm-hmm. And then it used to be it used to be Marky Mark, but he kind of lost me because he wakes up too early in the morning and gets too swollen too early. Yeah, got him, got bizarre, but he was also selling liquor too. That was a strange, I was like, it's selling a liquor, but you're also up so early. His hands are in too many baskets. I don't trust him. He His hands are in too many baskets. I don't trust him. He has his hands in too many things.
Starting point is 00:58:27 Do you think he still has the pulse of the streets in Boston or no? Nah. I think he lost that. He went full Hollywood. He might have. He lost us. He moved to Vegas now, I think. I think he lives in Las Vegas.
Starting point is 00:58:40 Nice guy. Busy man. Busy. He's busy. He's done a lot. Yes It starts early on beating the shit out of an Asian guy all that jazz he did that he did that You can't get caught he's not stopping Asian hate at all. Yeah, and that's a shit Yeah, the brothers picked it up a couple years ago. I mean when the brothers was zapping Asians everywhere
Starting point is 00:59:02 And that's a shit. Yeah, the brothers picked it up a couple years ago I remember when the brothers was zapping Asians everywhere Your brothers are the brother brothers the brothers Zapping Asians everywhere and the news kept being like Asian people are under attack. You're like, yeah my brothers It was the brothers and my father. My dad just is Sparky now Yeah, your dad's like that guy who just walks across the floor like this and he's like, uh, remember doing that shit to people? Oh yeah, I get people good. I used to, my favorite thing to do to fuck with someone was pass the milk carton around
Starting point is 00:59:35 and say, oh, you sit on it, it's all right. And then you give it to the biggest person and you know it's going to explode. They sit on the milk carton and it opens? Yeah, people did that to me. Really? Yeah, it wasn't me, people did that to me. Really? Yeah, it wasn't me who was doing that to people. Would it open under you or not? Always, every time.
Starting point is 00:59:49 Really? And I fell for it every time, it was foolish. I got jumped a lot growing up. You did? I did, yeah. By whom? One time from a black man. Oh yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:58 That was good. That was at a 21 Savage concert. That's the old, yeah. Yeah. That's the Irish hello right there. Yeah. It was at a hello right there. Yeah. We got a 21 Savage concert? Yeah, he was kind of windmilling me and I was pissing my pants crying.
Starting point is 01:00:10 And then all of a sudden 21 Savage said, Yo, y'all wildin' down there. Y'all gotta chill. And I'm like, can you help? It was crazy. Were you wildin' or you were not? I was getting wilded on. Sorry that happened.
Starting point is 01:00:25 You know, it was brutal. And it was good though because my buddy didn't even try to help. The girlfriend of the guy who was punching me said, nah, just let it happen. And she did. She let it happen. No way. So there wasn't even any female support? No, it was just, yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:41 It was just... Oh my god, baby girl, that's tough. Yeah, no, it's quite the story though. just uh, baby girl. That's tough. Oh, yeah. No, it's quite the story though I went to school the next day with a black eye. Mm-hmm from a black guy. Yeah, so that was nice I was kind of like, oh you own that and then they say that's cultural appropriation. You're like give me a fucking break, dude I just pretend it was from sex Let's keep bringing it back to that. Well, I'm sorry that some,
Starting point is 01:01:08 yeah, you got abused by a brother like that. No, it's all good. You could have gotten knocked up though. That would have been nice. Have you dated a lot of black men over the years? No dating is what- You haven't dated either? No.
Starting point is 01:01:20 A what? Well, like I've been on, I've been on three dates in my life. Are you serious, Chris? Like the last date I went on, he recorded inside my house, so I said, I think I'm good for now. For now, yeah. Yeah, for now. Two weeks later, you're like, let's run it back.
Starting point is 01:01:35 Yeah, dude, just lock your camera up, I guess. Yeah, so that was brutal. I got to think of somebody who could have said, well, now that's sad. I shouldn't have said that. No, sorry. Another date I went on, I was talking about it on the podcast, keeping it very ambiguous. I didn't want any feelings to get hurt, but he showed up hammered and I thought that he was like just wicked drunk and slurring his words. Well, it turns out he had a speech impediment and I didn't realize and I didn't pick up on that and he sent me a very long text I have a speech impediment and I don't know why very long. Yeah, he said I didn't I didn't know why You didn't like the champagne. I bought you at the dive bar. So I'm sorry. I guess we just want different things
Starting point is 01:02:15 Oh, yeah, I don't know. I don't have a good track record. Well, yeah, I think you do I think it's just you know,, I think I would have no idea. Yes, Papa? I know. I'm not gonna fucking tell you, dude. It's quite all right. No, we're gonna get some fucking real dogs in here to smash you, Gracie. Hell yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:36 Have you seen that girl? Have you seen that girl who got railed by like 150 guys? Oh yeah, I saw that. I don't know how I feel about that. I don't know what to do with that It's just is it's just a thing that happens. She's almost like the evil Knievel of like Yeah, she's kind of doing like magic like I don't know. She's like adding time. She's doing daylight savings or something Yes, that's a lot of time spent. Yeah, it just seems crazy. And then what are you really doing? it's almost just like, like people are just running
Starting point is 01:03:05 and just kind of jousting themselves into your vagina real quick and then we're running off. It's like a meet and greet with their dick out. Yeah. Yeah, just like next. Yeah, Lily Phillips is her name. She's gorgeous. British OnlyFans. British girl, yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:20 Well, I wonder if this is the thing you're starting to see because of OnlyFans, like people are having to start to one up each other. Yeah,, this is going the extra goddamn mile um Yeah, this is I don't know if I I don't know if I would even enjoy something like that You know like I mean, yeah, even if you were doing it, you know, we're like i'm gonna make love to 100 women I'd like I'd like 11 women. I would definitely want to chill have a gatorade or something something, get on my phone. Yeah, it was like, yeah, like what's, uh, I don't know why I was gonna ask that. Listen to some Scott Stapp or whatever.
Starting point is 01:03:50 Did you see that Scott Stapp, that their band has made more this year than they ever made before? Who did? I thought that was pretty interesting. Bring that up, brother. There goes my hero. You know that song? Watch out where he goes. Yeah, know that song? What's it, wow, it goes, yeah? Is that it? Yeah.
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Starting point is 01:05:25 That's what I'm noticing for myself. I've got some of the same things. And I'm not getting into self-pity, but I'm just noticing, hey, some of this stuff, I keep carrying it. I keep carrying it. I don't wanna have this luggage anymore. You know, I even met with a therapist today
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Starting point is 01:06:03 And you can think of therapy as an editorial partner. Write your story with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash T-H-E-O to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterH-E-L-P, BetterHelp.com slash T-H-E-O. Dude, your friends were so funny the other night. You have the best friends. So yeah, those were my friends from growing up.
Starting point is 01:06:26 What I didn't realize was one of my friends, she's a really big fan, and her boyfriend who was sitting next to you, he's an even bigger fan of yours. And um- That guy, I think one of his lips was sweating a little. Yeah, he was losing it. And she had her phone out and she did exactly what I asked her not to do and she had her flash and she recorded a video. And I was like, she thought she was taking a picture and she actually took a video and it was like three seconds long of her boyfriend saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so, yeah. That's alright.
Starting point is 01:07:00 I was so embarrassed. The scary part is if you think somebody recorded your whole conversation just because then you don't even know what you've said. No, no, no. I think you say. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed.
Starting point is 01:07:11 I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed.
Starting point is 01:07:19 I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. Here right here Creed reached their highest calendar year earnings in 2024 grossing 64.8 million from 825,000 tickets across 55 performances Damn, that's their highest calendar year earnings Is that ever is there any more information with it? So Cree's never been hotter
Starting point is 01:07:37 Than right now. That's crazy to think cuz didn't weren't they playing stadiums before you know be a good idea I've been saying this is there should be a comedian at the half time for the Super Bowl. That's a horrible idea. Yeah, I wanna do it. You do? Yeah. Grace, you would be, you-
Starting point is 01:07:58 I would fail miserably. You think you would? I don't know, maybe give me what, 11 years? Oh, 11 years, yeah, I thought you were talking about in a couple of months. Oh, right now? No, no, God no. No, I could pull that though if I wanted to. It'd be hard.
Starting point is 01:08:11 I think it would be way too scary. It would do like half music, half, you can find like the good happy medium between fireworks, music, and jokes. It would be, yeah, I think it'd feel like- It'd be like the worst thing that's ever happened at the Super Bowl thus far. Fuck, I'd be brave of you.
Starting point is 01:08:28 I would pledge allegiance to that. Okay. Salute on that. That would be intense. There goes my hero. Does Creed even sing that song? No idea. Truly and honestly.
Starting point is 01:08:44 But yeah, it says right there, Creed earned more money in 2024 than they did in any other year over the 30 year career. Um. Oh so they've never been hotter. Good for them. My hero. Oh no that's my Foo Fighters. Oh shit. What's Creed? Uh, who knows dude. I don't know if I'm supposed to say this but I saw Kid Rock the other night on New Year's he looked like he was Like he'd been through it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You look like crack rock dude pull up that video of him from the other No, I was I saw him with my own eyes Oh you did you look like he was about to he was about to go out on a stretcher Is that always the thing is that is kind of you know that's not always a thing But oh did somebody get a video of him?
Starting point is 01:09:25 Yeah, this is it! He definitely, um... He looked a lot worse upstairs. He seems pretty healthy right there. Yeah, he's clean. Looks like a good drinking night out. He was shaking good. Was he singing?
Starting point is 01:09:40 I don't want problems with Kid Rock, actually. He's the best at taking jokes and telling jokes. Oh, good, all right. Yeah. I feel like he had a good time. Yeah, no, he had a blast. I almost met him for dinner that night, actually. Oh, really?
Starting point is 01:09:51 Did you ever spend time around him? No, just that one hi and bye kind of thing. She do his comedy festival. He does a comedy show here every year that rhyming is for charity. Oh, no shit. It'd be fun to get along. Oh, yeah. If you wanted to.
Starting point is 01:10:04 If you guys got to meet and you guys got along I'm trying to think um. You think he'd fuck with me? Yeah. Are you fucking with me? He's his sweetheart Yeah, all right. I'm fucking with you. Cool cool cool cool cool cool. I'm a fan. All right, let's go. I think you're Yeah, I'm curious to see Yeah, I'm just excited to fucking be along for the ride and see what goes on. Yeah, thank you man. I'm really pumped for your movie. That sounds like really exciting stuff. So when do you start filming that? We'll see. January 10th. Yeah, I don't want to think too much about it because I think it's horrible and then it's like you have to put it out. Oh yeah, just enjoy it. Just enjoy it. Don't talk about it. Just do it. Real G's moving silence like lasagna. Yeah. That kind of shit. So that's the kind of shit we're doing. I'm trying to think of um You have a new podcast coming out or it's out already. Oh coming out. Okay
Starting point is 01:10:48 I signed with a new network. Have you heard the unwell network? Yep with Alex Cooper, right? Okay, I never thought a day in my life I'd be a diversity hire, but it's all blonde hair blue Eye pretty girls there. So are you considered a diversity hire? Yeah. Why burn uh redheaded a redhead and I just bring a different kind of flavor so oh yeah ba bay leave huh do they have back bay leaves I think they might grace and Malley is officially unwell so that means you're officially working with their network so that's happened that's happened yes so that happened like right before the new year. And then... Did you know that was coming? Was there...
Starting point is 01:11:30 They helped on it quick. So I... You already separated from the from your previous podcast before this happened. Yes. And so I thought it happened on... I left Barstool on Sunday and then I got the call Monday and we had paper signed by Thursday. Wow. So it moved pretty quick, which was kind of crazy. And is it a better deal than you had at Barstool? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:51 Oh, that's good. Yeah, I'm excited about that. You feel good about it? I feel good, yeah. Except the one thing I'm concerned about is I don't have health insurance anymore, and I'm going deaf in my left ear. Oh, yeah, it's true, huh? So I'm gonna have to figure that out.
Starting point is 01:12:03 And especially if you start taking on a lot of kicks this year, you're probably gonna need some health insurance, you know? I'm gonna need a couple of Plan B pills and whatnot. Oh yeah, get you a couple grams of Plan B. Yeah, I'll buy the bulk. They should make a... I'll get it from Kid Rock. Yeah, get it something from that ditch on you dude. He'll sell you something bro. Plan B should do a powder huh? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:12:30 How great would it be to do a line of Plan B? Dude, I would fucking rip that left and right if I had the sex. I'd do it. Bye! I had my first crazy fan bring me a bag of cocaine to my show the other night. Yeah, that was good. They know I like to stuff, but they wrote, we love you so much on a bag of cocaine, which I thought was hilarious. So cool.
Starting point is 01:12:58 It's just interesting. Were you able to use any of it or not? I preferred not to just because just circumstantially it was unknown where the origin was from. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah dude, my buddy's aunt used to fucking shed that like a hole in her throat or whatever and they used to boof cocaine right down it.
Starting point is 01:13:16 That's fucking awesome. That's sick. Just rocket that shit. I wanna get there. Right through that little bird. You gotta be doing something right to get to that point. Right through that little birdhouse door she had on something right to get to that point right through the birdhouse door She had on her neck hole. It's cuckoo. Yeah
Starting point is 01:13:30 She had that little birdhouse door What else is going on what else is happening in the news right now? We have not confirmed that the explosion was caused by very large fireworks and or a bomb carried in the bed of the rented Cyber truck and is unrelated to the vehicle itself. Well, it could have been a fun time or Terrorism. Yeah, dude the toughest thing about a cybertruck. What do you drive grace? I don't have a license You don't have your license. I live in New York. Oh, you don't need it, huh? Yeah I used to have it but I just let it expire. I used to drive. I used to drive and I had I had a Lincoln I just let it expire. I used to drive. I used to drive and I had I had a Lincoln
Starting point is 01:14:13 2002 Lincoln presidential town car which is either an elderly person or a pimp I don't know if you've ever seen those bad boys very prestigious. Yeah. Yeah three three Three in the front three in the back. That was the fucking cruiser. We loved that thing. It was awesome Whip in that thing. It was awesome. Whippin' that bitch, boy. That thing was classic. Whippin' work in that bitch, son. That thing's awesome. Yeah, still smell like my dead grandpa. Oh yeah. It was good. All right, Papa.
Starting point is 01:14:34 Yeah. He's in that bitch for good. I could've waved from the croak to cop that thing. You ever are. Didn't you ever make out on your backseat of that car with any man or anything like that? I mean, I'm sure you had some dates, huh? We had plenty of room for it.
Starting point is 01:14:50 But I never did. God. And Nora, you don't coach her on dating or anything? It's hopeless. Well, it's fine. I'm not worried about it. Right. I'm not worried about it. But it's just been something that's been in your life.
Starting point is 01:15:04 Mm-hmm. Now, what if a man came along and he's looking for marriage? Do you think that that's something you would actually consider, you think? I mean, at this point, it's starting to be like, well, the older I get, and the bigger reaction that I get when I tell people I've never been in a relationship is when I start to think, yeah, I think the next guy will probably be a forever. Might be, huh? Yeah. He could be a real prick, too.
Starting point is 01:15:24 No, he breaks. I gotta lock it down. He better be a prince forever. Might be, huh? He could be a real prick too. No, he's- I gotta lock it down. He better be a prince. It's- He better be. And there's gotta be some, I'm trying to think of, what's your ideal man?
Starting point is 01:15:36 Or do you even have that? Such a dumb question, isn't it? Who gives a fuck? I'll, fuck it. I'll tell this story. I had a crush on Shane Gillis for a little bit. Big crush. And I had met him at my work.
Starting point is 01:15:49 And I just word vomited. I was talking to him, and I dropped a sandwich that I was eating, and he said, are you gonna pick that up? And I said, I gotta go, and I just left. That kind of thing. And I just kept running into him. You pick it up, white boy, that kind of shit.
Starting point is 01:16:03 Well, I just got really nervous. I wasn't playing cool at all. Oh, it wasn't a stacked tactics. No, no, I just, I scrammed out of there. But I just kept running into him that month, like a lot. And it looked like I was stalking him. And it ended with he hosted Saturday Night Live. I was at the after party.
Starting point is 01:16:21 And I'm looking at him. I'm like, don't look at him, don't look at him. And I looked at him, I go, him like hey congrats tonight man he's like yeah thank you so much I said yeah but you're gonna get mad pussy tonight bro oh yeah I don't yeah you're not supposed to say that one and he said what what did you say I said ah I just left the bathroom line. I bought him a beer because I felt bad. Fuck yeah, dude.
Starting point is 01:16:49 No, I respect your fucking move. That's how I flirt. Yeah, you want this pussy, you're never going to get it, whitey. Don't you come honky honky and around this thing, around this little fucking kitty chamber, whitey. Yeah, that's just like a really great example of how I operate. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:10 So it all makes sense, right? I feel you sometimes. I would get so nervous. I followed a woman one time for like seven or eight blocks and I finally caught up to her and I was like, I was so nervous. I just was like, I'm not following you. That's what I said.
Starting point is 01:17:23 Yeah. I fucking walked off. Yeah. Ugh. I'm not following you, that's what I said. I fucking walked off. Yeah. Ugh. I'm not following you. And someone was uphill, it was like obvious that I was fucking following her, dude. My face was all wet.
Starting point is 01:17:33 She started running. Huh? She started running fast. No, she's moving quick, kind of, you know, with pace or whatever. Yeah, Shane just won Cracker of the Year. Oh yeah, that's a huge. I saw this the other day.
Starting point is 01:17:44 This is a new one by him, right? From Mr. AB. I don't know, what is this? AB. He did like a whole, like, he was giving awards out to everybody this year. Oh, he was? Antonio Brown? Yeah, funniest cracker. Somebody said Winner got to use the N- that was his thing, Winner got to use the N-word, is that what Antonio said? One time or something? I got a new goal for next year. The end, that was his thing, when he got to use the N word, is that what Antonio said one time or something?
Starting point is 01:18:06 I got a new goal for next year. You do? Yeah. This is it? This is it. Cracker of the year. What do you get to say the N word? I think you can do it once.
Starting point is 01:18:15 All right. It's not even like a month. It's not that I want to, it's just like, it would be a nice perk. No, yeah, you should, it's gotta be a prize. Yeah. Yeah, and I- I wonder if you could say it like in public
Starting point is 01:18:24 or does it have to be alone in the shower or something? I mean, you can, I don't, I don't say it, I mean, I'll think it sometimes loudly or whatever, but you will not, I'm not that guy. Somebody in our town used to write it down all the time and throw it in, like put a message in a bottle and throw it out into the water. And then it'd go downstream.
Starting point is 01:18:42 Yeah, and then like, some dad and his kid are just walking along the stream, and the kid finds it and he's like, what's this? Oh, this is a historic artifact. It's just sad that that kind of shit is just like. That's unfortunate. It's that kind of shit that's ruining our waterways. That's what I'm saying. Have you ever been in a contest? Did you ever win like a most talented or funniest contest? No, I've lost pretty much everything I've ever tried to do. You're crazy!
Starting point is 01:19:16 But you know, you can't let that stop you. I lost class clown to some girl who dropped out of high school. Nah. Yeah. So we did him at the beginning of the year and she was not there to receive the award at the end of the year. You should have to be able to stay in school to even be able to do it. That's insane.
Starting point is 01:19:35 It wasn't fair. And I don't think I was eligible because of just being a shithead. I had like a 1.5 GPA. Oh, so you were not educated? I was not. I was too worried about having fun and cracking jokes. Oh, so you were part, you were having a good time? I was blasting off, yeah. Okay, so I see.
Starting point is 01:19:52 I wasn't as much of a loser, I just wasn't getting laid. But I was cool, I was having fun. And were you getting wasted at parties and stuff and like having you? Oh, absolutely, people didn't like having me around because if you got stuck with me, you would be dragging me out of the woods Yeah, yeah, I would fall flat. Oh really? Yeah, you were fucking just I was just
Starting point is 01:20:11 The party stops here boys tree falls in the woods. You're gonna hear it. It's grace. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, we used to have this guy in our town this fellow. He had well a lot of Irish they've always equated the Irish with like I Don't want to say like a step up from having Down syndrome or whatever, but it's popular. Yeah. Right. Like we had a guy in our town, I've told this story before, but he had Down syndrome and his mom didn't know it, right? Never got the paperwork or the blood test or whatever. And so she just thought he was Irish, right?
Starting point is 01:20:39 She thought he's Irish and she's like buying him all this balls. You talking about Shane? Huh? No, no, no. I'm sorry. No. This wasn't, this wasn't Shane. Shane, Shane probably knows the guy. But this was just a local DS guy, you know?
Starting point is 01:20:55 Oh, but his mom would get him all this Boston Celtic shit and Notre Dame shit. It was like, you know, and the train that came in our town didn't even go to Boston, so it probably never go to Boston. But whenever he would misbehave or whatever, they would put him in this baby crib, even when he was an adult. And he had this thing where he just would not go out of it.
Starting point is 01:21:12 He would stay in the crib. Like a playpen, not a crib, but like a baby's play little area or whatever. And he would stay in it even like 14, 15 years old. Yeah, something like that. What else did I see recently oh there was the LSD Diplo oh yeah oh yeah Diplo trips on LSD what's the most I'm so curious what's the most conventional place looks a kid rock you've done LSD right D. Right now? Right now? Did someone else talk to him already?
Starting point is 01:21:46 Oh my God. Yeah. Please, oh my God, hold on, hold on, hold on. Please tell me. Look at Anderson, he's probably getting sick from being, could be gay from being, D. Ed Diplo's definitely, every time I'm in Las Vegas, I see that guy.
Starting point is 01:22:05 That guy loves to party. Yeah, he loves to party. That's so brave, dude, to go on live television on LSD. Oh my God, I'd kill myself. I really would. That's so scary. I would smoke my own nuts, bro. I could not even fucking do it. I would take my penis nuts, bro I could not even fucking do it
Starting point is 01:22:25 I would take my penis off and just fucking hide it in somebody's face, dude I could not I would freak the fuck out dude. He was playing it so cool too. So cool I would have I would have been scratching my eyes out like yeah, I can't I did it one time you did Yeah, you did LSD what when you were on camera? Yeah, I wasn't on, no. I just like in general did it one time. I didn't like it. Oh, only one time? And where did you guys go? Um, it was after a long day of partying and we ripped it at 3 in the morning. So it was a really bad idea. Yeah, really bad idea. Oh, yeah. So I will be doing that anytime soon, but Molly's a lot better. She's a sweetheart. I like her.
Starting point is 01:23:05 She's good shit. Oh yeah, Molly's the other one's shit. Yeah, I remember throwing a bunch of rocks at, a bunch of grass or whatever we thought there was like these little people in it or whatever. We thought we kept hearing them yell every time we throw the rock in there. It was just children.
Starting point is 01:23:20 Oh, in the morning, half my buddy's drive I was in that fucking, in this yard, dude. We's driveway was in that fucking yard, dude. We were all sweating and our shoulders were hurting. Who, it was like the neighbors? Yeah, just fucking, they had these elephant ear things in the ditch and we thought that, we kept throwing these rocks and I was like, listen, you can hear these people scream when you throw it in there. Get fucking devious on that.
Starting point is 01:23:41 You are not a one love hippie on LSD. We threw a fucking eighth of a dump truck of driveway gravel into that ditch. Started eating it and shit. I'm trying to think of some famous LSD trips. I mean I had some good ones. I had one where I like, when I was in LSD I took mushrooms to a party. And a lot of people had never taken them and I gave them all to them and I was in LST, I took mushrooms to a party. And a lot of people had never taken them, and I gave them all to them, and I was like, let's play hide and go seek, and I just counted.
Starting point is 01:24:08 And they all went and hid, and then they fucking... And they were all alone with their dogs. I never looked for any of them. Wait, that's classic. I'm still never... You are devious. I've still never looked for them. Yeah, fuck them, dude.
Starting point is 01:24:21 If they can't handle that fucking mountain lion bitch, then get out of the fucking... Can't handle their own goddamn And get out the forest big dog, huh if you don't want to link up and get out the food chain Like tear your friends like who can handle it Who can handle being alone? like who can handle it? Who can handle being alone? Who can do their drugs?
Starting point is 01:24:44 My favorite thing ever, I used to be with my buddy Jeffrey and Scottie and Nate. We'd all be outside smoking dope or whatever, smoking flour or weed or whatever. And I'd come back in a few minutes early and Jeff's dad would be always sitting in the house just reading the newspaper or whatever. And I'd come in and I'm like, Mr. Mike, they...
Starting point is 01:25:05 You're like, what's going on? I'm like, oh just Jeff was being kind of, I don't know like he just he kept taking his shirt off or whatever and Mr. Mike had issues with like gay stuff. Yeah I saw that coming. So the second I was like he had his shirt off whatever he'd be like, I was like, he had his shirt off, whatever. He'd be like, you can fucking, you can feel his fucking teeth just climbing over his tongue through the newspaper, right? He'd be like,
Starting point is 01:25:31 Grrrr! And so I would just plant that seed, dude. I would just go and they would come in, they'd be stoned out of their brain. They'd come in the house and he'd be like, Jeffrey! And he'd fucking have him come in, they'd be stoned out of their brain. They'd come in the house, and he'd be like, Jeffrey! And he'd fucking have him come in there. And he'd be like, just roast him for being homosexuals.
Starting point is 01:25:51 What are you doing out there with your fucking shirt off? And Jeff stoned out of his face, has no idea what's going on. And he'd stay in the house behind him, like yeah. Why you being such a gay homo? Oh, it was a good time. I mean, it was just, it wasn't a worst. So you like throwing your boys under the bus?
Starting point is 01:26:08 I like fucking being the bus driver. And all the seats are under the bus. Nice. That's what I like. And it's short too. Yeah, I just like that. I like it. I like just creating something, right? Like let's see what happens here if we set this thing up this way.
Starting point is 01:26:24 Let's cause some chaos. Um, there was that one famous story. Who's the famous- there was two members of, I think Fleetwood Mac that took LSD. Oh, wow. Oh, there it is. The night that Fleetwood Mac lost Peter Green and Danny Kerwin to LSD. Yeah, what was this about? Oh, they died? It's all, uh, amid a manic psychedelic party
Starting point is 01:26:45 in a commune-like mansion, Green, I think it's Peter Green is the guy's name, was drawn down into the basement and arrived out of the other side in tears. In the band's eyes, he was distraught, despite Green claiming to have had an extraordinary experience and stating that he played the best guitar of his life down there.
Starting point is 01:27:02 Another member of the band present that day was Danny Kerwin. Fate also besieged him that night. Peter Green and Danny Kerwin both went together to that house in Munich. Okay, that's where they were after a show. Their one-time manager, Clifford Davis, recalls, both of them took acid, as I understand.
Starting point is 01:27:20 Both of them, as of that day, became seriously mentally ill. It would be too much of a coincidence for it to be anything other than taking drugs as of that day, became seriously mentally ill. It would be too much of a coincidence for it to be anything other than taking drugs as of that day. A fear the rest of the band felt, an intense sense of dread in that place, and managed to scurry away with the two heavily intoxicated members. While Greenwood recovered and enjoyed a creative life away from the spotlight despite persistent
Starting point is 01:27:39 problems, things fared differently for Kerwin. Danny had been a nervous and sensitive lad from the start. He was never really suited to the rigors of the business. Mick Fleetwood once opined. Touring his heart in the routine wears us all down. One night while backstage his regression came to the fore, Danny was being odd about tuning his guitar. Mick Fleetwood remembers. He got up suddenly and bashed his head into the wall, splattering blood everywhere. I've never seen him do anything violent in all the years I I'd known him the rest of us were paralyzed in complete shock damn He was wonderful, but he couldn't handle the life eventually ending up homeless on the streets of London Wow damn
Starting point is 01:28:18 Sounds like a Tuesday. Yeah, that's what happens dude That's my biggest fear is it really getting schizophrenic really yeah, I like freaks me out It doesn't even run in the family, but That sounds scary Yeah, I think taking a hit of acid or something next thing. You know you just you know you know You know what you're doing. Yeah Actually, it might run in the family. I got a cousin like that you do yeah Tough and it's a man or woman um both Yeah. I actually might run in the family. I got a cousin like that. You do? Yeah. It's tough.
Starting point is 01:28:46 And it's a man or woman? Both. God, yeah. That's a thing, dude. I would just, I don't know if I could be a man and a woman. Do you think you could handle it? I think I do a good job already. I'm saying manly shit to men to flirt with them.
Starting point is 01:29:02 Huh? Like, yeah, fucking get some tail tonight, brother! Like, what? Yeah, huh? Euclid's huh? Pedroia! Let's go Brady! Come on now! Deflate these balls! God.
Starting point is 01:29:19 Yeah, that's the unfortunate truth. Who's on my Mount Rush from where I wonder? Yeah. From where you're from Rushmore, I wonder? Yeah. From where you're from. From where I'm from? I'm trying to think of my Boston one. Oh, my Boston one would be, is it OK if I do a Boston one? Oh, please, please.
Starting point is 01:29:35 Be my guest. Oh, Will Hunting. So you got him. You got Tom Brady. You got Dutch Smith. You got a Dutch Smith. From, um. Bring up Dutch Smith. This is him following an arson over the weekend. Police say a teenager is
Starting point is 01:29:53 responsible for all that damage. He's watched 16th Nikki cries. Joins us live from the Central Pennsylvania Newsroom with more tonight, Nikki. Julie, a lot of people in Shamokan are upset that Dunkin Donuts is closed because they didn't have anywhere else to go for coffee and donuts. Today, we also learned new information about the teenage girl police charged with setting
Starting point is 01:30:13 the place on fire. Yellow tape surrounds the Dunkin Donuts on West Sunbury Street in Shimokan. The popular donut shop is closed until further notice because of extensive fire damage There's a lot of people that's definitely gonna miss it no doubt about it a teenager is charged with starting a fire inside Further down they start interviewing people Oh back up Any people who live in Shamokin are upset that Duncan doughnuts is closed now I have to rely on myself to go to maybe a turkey hill or something where I don't like their tone It's I read the donuts at Dunkin Donuts, and I'm kind of dealing with it, but I really miss Dunkin Donuts
Starting point is 01:30:53 I go to every day I get a chicken bacon croissant or I get some coffee power rate if I'm dehydrated I sit there all the time if I have any like legal work that I need to do I go My attorneys there. I'm gonna miss that place when it don't open up My friends go in there get the cold coffee ice coffee, I guess it's called The guy in the middle was like yeah get stayed dehydrated meet my attorney up there my boy Dutch Smith He's on my He's on your mother's side? He's on my mother's side
Starting point is 01:31:28 Is he also like on your team? Like I feel like you know him The Dunkin Donuts over there I gotta talk to my lawyers He's like, I gotta do some legal work What are you gonna do? Legal work? You gotta go to Ducks That's classic Oh yeah, what do they call up there? Ice cold coffee? Ice coffee? That lady like, they call it cold coffee?
Starting point is 01:31:50 He's like, he's not freaking crazy for her. Like, oh yeah, maybe he had to dunks on 15th and 2nd, we'll get to the legal work. We got some legal work. That is so good. And you know he's not studying to be a lawyer. No. And you know he's not studying to be a lawyer. Yeah, yeah, you know, yeah, you know he's not studying to be a lawyer. Can you do accents? Do I do them?
Starting point is 01:32:13 Can you do accents? Yeah. No, I can't really do them that much. I don't think I sometimes I wish I spent more time focusing on stuff like that. Yeah. What about you? I can just do Irish. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:32:23 Yeah. Pretty, but under pressure, it's pretty hard, but you just really have to infidelsize the Irish really. Truly and honestly, yeah. Truly and honestly, yeah. How are you going? I do it a wee little bit, but here and there is a good party trick if you do it. Oh yeah. But it's not really going to take me far in life, is it? Yeah. Think about Charlie. That's bad. Yeah, I'm bad. if you do it. But it's not really gonna take me far in life, is it? Are you thinking about Ireland? That's fine, yeah, I'm bad.
Starting point is 01:32:47 But I think maybe it'd be fun to work on, I guess. I don't know. Yeah, I think I like it. You did a good job. Thanks. Have you toured in Ireland yet? No. You gotta wait.
Starting point is 01:32:58 You gotta wait. I'm new ski. Yeah, sorry. What are we talking about? I'm brand new. Which is probably why I have nothing to talk about. No, you're nothing to talk about. What's that guy? No, you're great to talk to.
Starting point is 01:33:09 Grace O'Malley, I'm glad I've gotten to sit and chat with you. If you guys don't know Grace, now you probably do. I think you have a good, I think, did we talk about your life enough, do you think? Yeah, sure. Okay. Oh, did you finish college or not?
Starting point is 01:33:23 No, I dropped out. You did? Yeah. But by the time I dropped out of college, I had a 4.0. Um, oh did you finish college or not? No, I dropped out. You did? Yeah But by the time I dropped out of college I had a 4.0. You did? Yeah, I found out what Adderall was Oh, so you were using it? So I needed it. Yeah. As it turned out. The Irish needed, what are the Irish missing? There's always that thing, you know. Uh, they're missing out on Well, the fathers are missing out on loving their children. Yeah. They don't know how to express it. Oh yeah, they can't, huh?
Starting point is 01:33:48 Yeah, they can't. Yeah, it's like... They just get you a fucking Edelman jersey? Yeah. They just hope that'll equate to love. It's good. Yeah, why can't they do it? Well, sharing a beer in silence, that's also supposed to be love in their eyes.
Starting point is 01:34:03 Really? Yeah. Yeah, why do the Irish have that trouble sharing love? Maybe, and if people listen, they can hit the hotline too with that 985-664-9503, and that would be great to just, I want to examine that next time we have a solo episode is why the Irish have that trouble expressing their love. Do you think that they have it more than other cultures? Let's think this good to compare
Starting point is 01:34:28 The Koreans can't do it. They can't know they know Tough is it tough love or is just no love. Well, there's a video you see that I think Steve Look up Stevie Weeby. He just put that video of him Bobby and their mother trying to do Christmas together or something Can you see that if you put it on his Instagram? Stevie Weeby, he just put that video up of him, Bobby and their mother trying to do Christmas together or something. Can you see that if you put it on his Instagram? They're Koreans, I don't think they can do it. Bobby's the Asian representative. Bobby is, I wanna say he, maybe.
Starting point is 01:34:55 You like it? You like it? Yeah. Yeah. Late at night and I leave Duke here by himself. He loses his mind. Oh, Bobby? No, Duke. that night and I leave Duke here by himself he loses his mind on no Duke you have no snacks here I'll go hungry no six in the morning So what happened last night was I went to 7-eleven, I got a slurpee, I got the full
Starting point is 01:35:33 anchovy. That's good. This is like that game show, like that telephone game or whatever. Can you see where Bobby comes in later or not? Is there any, can you help me out? Get further down, further, further. Is there any part where Bobby comes in or Trivial closed captions. No, maybe not. The mother is very endearing.
Starting point is 01:35:48 I would love to meet her. She's probably a star that I would like to meet. Yeah, who's up there for you? Who haven't you met? And who, on top of that, who was your favorite thus far? I don't know, I got to meet Mel Gibson one time and he was very captivating. Yeah, that's wild.
Starting point is 01:36:03 It's very like you get drawn into him, you know? You sit down and like shoot the shit with him? Yep. Yeah? Yeah, I did get to one time, which is crazy because Patriot's my favorite movie probably. Was there anything else that we wanted to talk about? You have any of our topics,
Starting point is 01:36:19 anything you want to look at really quick? I'm just trying to think, Grace, before I let you go. Oh wait, so your new podcast, tell me about it. Okay, so it is gonna be coming out in February. That's great Everything is completely up in the air right now try to figure out what the hell it's gonna be But for the most part the idea for it is the name's gonna be disgraceful and I'm gonna have Like guests on every week and for the first 50 to 20 minutes They're auditioning to be my new co-host because I need a new co-host.
Starting point is 01:36:48 So that's like the niche there. And then after that hopefully we'll shoot the shit. I'll get to practice in a little more and be a little better for that. So what are you looking for in your co-host? Do you already have a parameters? That's the thing, it's all just a gimmick. I'm never probably going gonna have a host.
Starting point is 01:37:05 Oh, you're not? We'll see how it goes. But there is possibility, though. Possibility. Like Alex suggested. Alex Cooper. Alex Cooper suggested that. From Call Her Daddy, yeah. So I had pitched her my idea for this podcast,
Starting point is 01:37:19 and she was like, yeah, that's awesome, but what if you did a podcast with like, Blake Griffin? I'm like, what? So that's the idea that she has for it. So we're gonna figure out something Something somewhere in the middle. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, that was just like a little behind-the-scenes kind of phone call So let's see how it goes. Will she have a say in it? Will you have a say it will it just be is it up to you? I get final say Yeah, so I think I think I'm gonna stick to my guns. Yeah
Starting point is 01:37:44 Yeah, I think just trust your instincts is yeah, whatever. So I think I'm gonna stick to my guns. Yeah. Yeah, I think just trust your instincts. Yeah, whatever your instincts are, I love them. Thanks, right back at you. They're fun. Your instincts are fun to ride along with. The Down For Anything Tour that's going on right now. Yep, and despite everything I've said on this podcast,
Starting point is 01:38:01 it is a good show, so come on out. Oh yeah, I believe that it is. I almost stayed, I wanted to stay there. I think I got nervous there were so many girls in there. A lot of girls, yeah. It's like a slumber party. Yeah. And then I just, my whole time, I'm just trying to make the boyfriends laugh. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:38:18 Because they don't want to be there. Oh, they are. So I like really try my best to make them laugh the most. You know what's so funny about comedy? A lot of times you'd be on stage and it's all dates there. Yeah. So not only are you the kind of, if you're the lonely one,
Starting point is 01:38:31 if you're the one that doesn't have a boyfriend or girlfriend, then you're also providing, you're the entertainment, right? They're paying for sure. Yes. But then they all have, and then you're like, oh, it just builds up this, sometimes they can build up this weird fucking resentment.
Starting point is 01:38:43 Yeah, totally. I mean, I just did a New Year's Eve show, so everyone, three, two, one, everyone started kissing. I'm like, I'm still on stage by myself. It's like a double whammy fuck you. I was like, this is nice, this is fun. And what do you do then, is throw a couple, you throw a couple fingers in the hoo-ha? What do you do at that point? I just, I started, I just grabbed the bouncer just fucked him on stage there
Starting point is 01:39:09 No, I started I started shotgunning beers Yes, I swear to God Gracie We're gonna fucking we're gonna send some cash away this year Gracie baby. Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna send some cacks your way this year, Gracie baby. Hell yeah. We're gonna send you a boatload of cacks. Yeah, fuck this year, that's for sure. You're that mighty, it is. And why do they say croc up there in mass?
Starting point is 01:39:38 CROC. Yeah. It's just, there's no way, it's not a way for a woman to talk. Yeah Yeah, dude. I was going in I had a show out right outside of it Not Medford. I don't know where it is. Is that right outside of the city? Oh, I've heard yeah And I had a show right out there and some guys walking up with his wife They're eating a piece of pizza and he's like Dorisis. That's the guy We're gonna give him your pizza. Give me pizza and they're both eating you can tell they just got a snack
Starting point is 01:40:09 They're running over running a few minutes late. I don't give it. He's like give me a fucking piece of Doris fucking bitch I love this guy I don't love you So Doris gives me her pizza, and then they go inside. The guys just eat, and I'm like, what the fuck you doing back there? Oh my God. I'm just like, what?
Starting point is 01:40:33 Yeah, that's the kind of guys up there, is they'll throw their wives across the card to impress their boys. Oh yeah, yeah. They get more about their boys, they're kind of gay for it. Oh, they're definitely, just to get a whiff of Pedroia's fucking catches mitt All right, I think we've had enough I think we've I think we've had a good start to the year any res anything that you're trying To push on yourself this year. I know maybe love is in the air. That's always in the air
Starting point is 01:41:02 Yeah, anything else you're kind of like any is there a real goal that you have or something this year? I get porked at least once. Okay. And then we'll go. Getting slammed, now we talking. We're talking, I'll take it wherever I can get it. Whoa, hold on. This is a Christian program.
Starting point is 01:41:18 Oh, is it now? Yeah. My apologies. Sorry. So you're right at home, go ahead. Yeah, no, and then I'm trying to cut back on drinking. I have a drinking problem. You do? I'm a functioning alcoholic. Oh yeah?
Starting point is 01:41:33 Yeah, big time. So I'm trying to kick back. Welcome. I'm going to start with the dry January and see where that goes. Oh, so you're going to get, you're tapping back in. So for the rest of January, you're off. Oh yeah. I missed the first day, but what are you going to do? That's still December in some places. Yeah, right in Holland. I think yeah, they're behind. Yeah, it's like I'm on Holland time Fuck it. I'm on Holland time. Okay. What about you? What about me? No, I'm gonna try to be sober all year. I think but any New Year's resolution resolutions
Starting point is 01:42:01 Yeah, I'm gonna try to be more pertinent with my time. Mm. Like, don't waste time in things that I know. Like, I think with relationship stuff, don't waste, like, dating time in things that maybe don't have a chance kind of thing. That's fair. I don't know. So stop dating girls with no personality? Yeah, just if I know it's not really there, don't just kind of use the situation
Starting point is 01:42:25 just because maybe I'm lonesome or something. Yeah. Or just because I don't have anybody to go do, just be like, well, just do shit by myself then. So I'm not gonna just be by myself or whatever. It's not all that bad. Right. It's not that bad.
Starting point is 01:42:36 Yeah. Do it all the time. And then, um. And then. Your nightmare is my everyday. I don't know. And then, nightmare is my everyday And then I don't know get out there and fuck Do some sex maybe I don't know something else. Uh, I
Starting point is 01:42:57 Don't know. I'd like to read a little bit more. Maybe this year You read a lot last year Not as much as I'd have liked But just kind of want to have that slow time. Yes just your thoughts are slowed down and you're just kind of relaxing Yeah, like my brain gets so sped up. Yeah, I can't I don't know how to slow it down Yeah, slow it down and maybe pray pray. Yeah pray if I meet a wife or something 20 20 why that's where I'm at There you go 20 20 why it could happen dude. Good. I like that. Welcome to come country. Oh, there you go Then you can hang out with your other friends. Yeah Yeah I like that welcome to come country. Oh, there you go. Then you can hang out with the other friends. Yeah Yeah
Starting point is 01:43:31 She give me pizza Doris Grace O'Malley, thank you so much for coming Nora O'Malley. Thank you for coming too and Cheers and blessings to you guys. Happy New Year. Happy New Year, man. Thank you very much. It was an honor, truly and honestly. And same for me, and best of luck with Disgraceful. It comes out in February? Yes. Okay, on the Unwell Network. Hell yeah. Amen.
Starting point is 01:43:53 Hell yeah. I must be cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground I'll share this piece of mind I found I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take a little

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