This Past Weekend - E553 Grace O'Malley
Episode Date: January 6, 2025Grace O’Malley is a comedian and podcaster originally from Boston, MA. She previously co-hosted the Barstool show “Plan Bri-Uncut”, and has a new podcast launching next month. You can also see h...er live on her “Down for Anything” tour happening now. Grace O’Malley joins Theo to talk about growing up in Boston before heading to NYC for comedy, how she found herself as the co-host of one of Barstool’s most popular shows, why she’s going solo now, and what she’s got planned for her new show coming to the Unwell network. Grace O’Malley: https://www.instagram.com/gracekomalley ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ Acorns: Go to http://acorns.com/theo to sign up now and Acorns will boost your new account with a $20 bonus investment. BetterHelp: This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp — go to http://betterhelp.com/theo to get 10% off your first month. Blue Chew: Go to http://bluechew.com to try your first month of BlueChew for free. Oracle: Go to http://oracle.com/theo to see if your company qualifies for this special offer. ------------------------------------------------- Music: “Shine” by Bishop Gunn Bishop Gunn - Shine ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Trevyn https://www.instagram.com/trevyn.s/ Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Cam https://www.instagram.com/cam__george/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Make sure to go through that site.
And thank you so much for your support.
That'll still be the return of the Rat Tour.
Today's guest is an entertainer out of the Boston
and New England areas of America.
And I got to see her backstage the other night
when she was performing standup here in Nashville, Tennessee.
She got her start with bar stool sports and I've been a fan and I'm looking forward to
get to learn more about her.
Today's guest is Miss Grace O'Malley. I've got three younger sisters.
I think y'all do.
But I'm the milkman's because I'm a redhead.
You're the milkman?
I'm the milkman's.
Oh, the milkman's kid?
Yeah, my mom's a whore.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Oh, damn. I yeah, I wish I wish
Huh, oh, yeah, thanks. I wish um my mom would have gotten laid more. I think yeah. Oh
Yeah, I think she was I don't know she was making love to maybe this auto mechanic one time
I don't know he would always come around and look around at us
Auto undercarriage
Yeah, I think yeah, he was just,
I don't know what he was doing.
He might not even have been a mechanic.
I mean, it was in our town, it was like,
if you were greasy enough and kind of,
you know, people would do mechanicing in their yard,
you know, type of thing.
Where like, come drop the car off in my house.
And people would do a lot of like,
at home mechanicing type stuff.
Like tag your it, you've got the car now?
Oh no, just like, it was like, uh.
Like people didn't have to have a real shop
to be a mechanic.
Oh gotcha, alright, cool, cool.
You know, so people could just do it at home.
Oh, I never come empty handed to anything,
but I've been in limbo all day,
so this is the best I could do.
I heard you're on again, off again, quitting.
Damn, you brought me this.
Air bar.
I heard, sometimes you I heard sometimes you're
quitting sometimes you're not but mostly you're trying to quit so I feel like an
ass but. No it's nice of you. Very sweet of you this is very um yeah it's almost
like the first Thanksgiving or whatever you know whenever they did that. Yeah so
that's very nice. Yeah and I've actually been doing good about quitting. I think the tough part is, uh,
the worst thing about quitting is that you have to every day you're like,
I'm going to quit and then you don't. And then you, she's,
you set yourself up for failure. Yeah. It's a, it's a commitment that I just,
I don't have the willpower to do. Yeah. Have you tried it or no?
I was supposed to start dry January yesterday and I just didn't. Yeah.
I couldn't, I don't have the willpower.
I wanted to stop this going on.
We're going to try again today.
You got it.
Yeah, it's another day.
Yeah, yeah, that's the thing.
January is a lot of pressure.
It's a lot of pressure at the beginning of the year to get it all right.
Yeah, but for what though?
We're just new all of a sudden?
We're just going to flip it off?
Well, I think that's the goal.
I think that's the goal.
It just feels kind of tough. Yeah, it's a's kind of the goal. I think that's the goal. It just feels kind of tough, you know?
Yeah, it's a lot of pressure.
It is a lot of pressure, dude.
God, being alive is just damn,
it's a lot sometimes, you know?
It just feels like a lot.
Grace O'Malley, thanks for coming in today.
Thanks for having me.
I'm super pumped.
I tried to play it really cool the other day,
but I am a very big fan.
Oh, thanks.
Very big fan, so this is very sick. Yeah, I'm a big fan of yours, too
You always just seem like a just like such a human. I mean why not? Yeah, like I don't know
What's wrong with half of these people?
It's kind of fucking out of control
I think well, I think if people get into like the spotlight or get like popularity popularity ego
All that stuff is super dangerous, you know?
Yeah.
And you don't realize it sometimes,
like you can be getting infected by it
or that like, or suddenly you'll try to super manage
how you're perceived, which some of that's normal
because you want to protect yourself.
But I think all of that's just, it's scary.
Yeah. I mean, like you just gotta, you gotta say,
you gotta be yourself. Yeah. That's what it is, you just gotta, you gotta say you gotta be yourself.
Yeah. That's what it is. You just gotta be yourself. But if yourself has been
asshole, then maybe you should change.
If yourself's an asshole, bro. Yeah. Cause they got people out there now that are
not even gay, that are being gay. They have, um, all types of people, like fake
Native Americans.
Every week they're busting one of these politicians for saying they were Honduran or something.
Just a lot of bullshit.
I know.
I wish I had the 23andMe to claim one of those things
because I feel like if you can claim it, you can say it.
Yeah.
There's a lot of words I can't say
that I would love to claim to be able to say.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I'm trying to think if you seem like uh cuz what are you you are um?
I am a mech. I'm Irish. You're right pretty pretty inbred. Yeah, okay. Nope. No. Yeah, no judgment for me here. I
Yeah, I think yeah Irish or some people are really fucking Irish
Have you seen that video of that baby's like breastfeeding and he orders another tit or whatever. Oh my god
I know I haven't seen that but that's classic. It's the most Irish shit
Pretty much the way he like orders around for everybody in the room or something
It's some they're breastfeeding it like a family thing or whatever like a birthday or whatever
One of my worst jokes I ever wrote was um, like one of my first ones was that I'm so Irish that I was breastfed Guinness
Yeah Stupid yeah Like one of my first ones was that I'm so Irish that I was breastfed Guinness. Yeah
Stupid yeah
That's a rough one kind of I told some rough oh, uh, oh my one of my first jokes is like Oh, I need a job a blow job
So yeah, I stopped by the comedy club the other night
and you were doing standup.
How long have you been doing standup?
Just so, because some of my audience won't know you.
So you're a podcaster and a comedian.
Yes.
Okay.
And how long have you been doing standup?
So I moved to New York in 2020.
I was doing it like here and there on like the streets
because you had to do it like outside at the time.
And I was-
Oh, because of COVID? Because of COVID, yeah, yeah. And so I did like on and off here and there on the streets because you had to do it outside at the time. Oh, because of COVID? Because of COVID, yeah, yeah. And so I did it on and off here and there,
but started taking it serious around January of this last year.
Okay, of 2024?
2024, yeah.
Okay.
And so what did that mean, taking it serious? Just getting up more, getting into the circuits or what?
Yeah, it's like an oxymoron saying taking it serious because it's comedy but just like going up as much as I could like
networking I guess and
putting myself out there kind of thing so I've been going up as much as I could and
Whitney Cummings ended up taking me on the road with her. Oh, Whitney took me on the road with her. Whitney did? Yeah, she did. Oh yeah, that's awesome.
Yeah, so she put the fire under my ass. She came on, I used to have a podcast, it's no longer,
but she came on as a guest and she was like,
I fuck with you, you should open for me.
And I'm like, you don't want that.
And she was like, no, just do it, just say yes
and it'll all follow.
So she put the fire in my ass and I just
grinded. Wow and so you were just, now was it like you were overnight suddenly on
stage having to do a lot of time or no? So she gave me 15 which turned into
20 and she just kept at I guess I was doing something right because she kept
adding me to more cities so I was like alright I guess I'm doing pretty good. Yeah. That was nice.
So you're from originally from where at? I'm from pretty good. Yeah. That was nice. So you're from, originally you're from where at?
I'm from Boston, but like outside of Boston.
Okay.
Yeah.
And do people from outside of Boston
look differently at people than inside of Boston?
Culturally probably.
There was this thing in the 70s called busing
where they brought African American children
into the city.
For schooling and stuff?
For schooling, yeah.
So some people didn't like that, so those people,
they left, and that is unfortunately where I come from.
That's for your family.
You were birthed out of those people.
Yeah, those were those guys.
People make their choices, you know?
They have, yeah, they have, yeah,
cause Boston's interesting, they got a lot of racism up there, you know? They have, yeah, they have, yeah, cause Boston's interesting,
they got a lot of racism up there, you know?
Yeah, but it's, you know, it's not as loud
as it is down here, so it's-
Yeah, the South, it's more,
the South has more of that kind of slave magic history,
you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We just have just little innuendos of bad history
and bad things we did, I guess.
Yeah. So, it's still up there, though, for sure. Yeah, it depends on what side things we did, I guess.
It's still up there though, for sure.
It depends on what side you're on.
You should just meet my dad.
You'll see it there.
Is he a fireman or no?
No, he wanted to be a police officer,
ended up being an electrician, but he fucked that up too.
What, doing electricity?
Yeah, he got electrocuted.
Oh, he did?
Yeah, on the job.
And he said he saw God, he started to be a believer,
and Tyler Childers walked him into heaven when he died.
Tyler Childers?
Yes, Childers, yes.
The musician?
The musician walked him into the pearly gates.
So that's my father.
You almost gotta believe him.
Yeah, well, I mean, yeah.
You know, I mean, that's a real-
But like, that guy's still alive, so I don't know
what that illusion was with him.
That's true, yeah.
I'm not really sure.
Yeah, why would a guy who's not even dead
come and help you?
That's nice of him.
Yeah, it's really sweet, but that makes me,
it's like, oh, that's potential.
Yeah, that's when it got a little fictional.
Yeah, like you were having a bad dream,
then you woke up and you were blasted.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, dude, being electrocuted, it's kind of under,
it's not, it doesn, uh, it doesn't get
as much credit as it deserves really.
I got got once by, um, electricity.
Little fork in the outlet action?
Uh, no, when I was at a fair or something, uh, I was, we used to go to the carnival
down the street from our home or whatever.
And they had, they would let you ride the rides the day the street from our home or whatever, and they had,
they would let you ride the rides
the day before the fair opened up.
Oh, little test monkeys.
Yeah.
Nice.
So we're out there and we're doing it or whatever,
and they were just like plugging shit in
and whatever and ever, you know.
And I would try to get off one of the rides
and I like grabbed two different railings
and I think I connected some circuit
or whatever and so I was just like this, you know.
Oh, shit.
Did your friends see your skeleton like the cartoons?
No, I don't know.
My friends they kind of ran off.
They're like, oh, something's, you know, this isn't, we don't want to be involved.
It's going to be a superhero.
Yeah, this guy's not doing good.
We don't want to be involved in it.
And some guy called me, I think a f***er or whatever and kicked me in the back.
And I was like, okay, he saved my life, but he still called me a f***.
So I was like, well, you know,
but that's what you get kind of around the carnival.
But that time, and then I was walking behind a food truck
that was serving crab meat or whatever,
which I don't trust.
That sounds really wrong too.
Yeah, I don't trust crab meat that's that close
to like a gas tank, I think, you know?
Yeah, no, that's fair.
I think crab meat should be fresh from the ocean yeah like right from the ocean I actually when we
got here this weekend I had I had crab legs I'm like what am I doing
I was shit my brains out this whole last oh yeah yeah yeah yeah you're in land
block right now right yeah I don't know what I was doing never seen a crab
anywhere around here I've never had money before so I was like yeah we'll get some crap legs. This is sick rest smooth as Tennessee
Crab legs babies getting a grill
The crab legs this baby's getting a grill and we're getting fucking
Gay that I could get
I'm trying to think of shit that we got like there are that yeah, what was your what was your first new money buy? Oh?
I got a fucking cyber truck was the only thing I've ever really gotten for myself That was like expensive. Somebody was telling me about that and they were saying that you thought that nobody would
recognize you in that thing?
Oh yeah, that's what I thought at first.
Are you ready to march?
Yeah, I didn't think it was that big of a deal. I thought everybody would have them, you know?
That's gonna make people do many double takes.
Oh, it was horrible.
Once at the car, second at you.
Yeah, it was horrible.
Or sorry, once at you, second for the car.
No, it was all horrible. Because, but whenever you first got them, I got home.
I ordered like five years ago, right?
Because it was $100.
Oh, that's like putting it on the wish list.
OK.
Right, so for $100, you could be like,
I got a Cybertruck coming.
It was online.
It was just on layaway.
Yes.
That's rich people layaway.
Yeah.
So I was like, yeah, I'm getting a Cybertruck or whatever.
And then I kept bothering Elon on Twitter,
where are they you know give them you know
Are you guys on on a basis of like no talking? Okay. No, I don't know I was just tweeting at him and stuff or like, you know
Saying stuff like that and then um
Finally one day I got home I'd been on time for a few weeks and it was in my garage
Oh sick
and so I was like, holy shit, dude
And at first when you would drive down the street people would like there were people cheering people at American flags
There were Mexican people out there doing this and dancing or whatever
That's from president
You're like where did these Mexican people come from, you know?
Ole, ole, ole.
And you were just driving, but really they had like,
we are the champions.
It was like gay people, people were coming out of the closet
in front of you.
You had girls flashing titties.
It was a lot, yeah, it was just a lot going on, you know?
And yeah, I did it, I thought it automatically
would have extra darkness on the windows, you know?
And it didn't.
So for a long time I thought it was like,
yeah, obviously, I can just draw,
there was extra darkness.
And then my buddy was like,
dude, you gotta get those things tinted.
And I was like, oh shit, man, they're not tinted.
And then, so finally I did get them tinted.
Well, what was it, run DMC or the?
Fuck I forget who it was what they said tinted windows don't mean nothing. They know who's inside really? Yeah
So you're fucked
And and so is the guy who waited five years for a cyber truck just to blow it up
What a science experiment. Oh, yeah, some guys did that huh? Yeah bring that up dude.
Actually you know what's funny? I thought about getting like a big fuse and putting it like hanging out of mine.
Oh yeah. That's a goodie.
Oh he did it for 4th of July. He did it for New Year's?
That's what it does look like. It does look like a spectacle. I think it was to a political point in front of Trump.
Oh in front of Trump Tower. Wow.
I think one person did die so it's tough to find a point in front of Trump. Oh, in front of Trump Tower, wow. I think one person did die,
so it's tough to find a joke there, but I mean.
It was probably some Middle Easterners
like getting a picture next to it.
People are always like, can we get this?
Can we?
And you're just like, leave me alone.
I'm gonna blow a lid.
Don't come and ask me.
But the problem is the horn sounds
a little bit effeminate too.
Does it?
Yeah, if you hit the horn, like a couple gay dudes will kind of walk over
They still have prostitutes that work the streets
Do they? Yeah. Not here. They don't have to anymore. Where's just some good, where's streetwalkers still in America?
Can you pull that up, please? Because I've been looking. I've told my friends before. I don't get laid much.
That's just a fact about me.
But I told my friends, just surprise me with a hooker one day.
And don't tell me it's a hooker.
A male hooker?
A male hooker.
They exist?
I'm not sure.
I think that they, yeah, definitely.
I mean, there's like Italian guys, if that's what you're talking about.
Gross.
But I don't know what you're looking at overall.
Nevada has the largest commercial sex market
in the United States when adjusted for population.
Oh, word.
Okay, number of prostituted people.
Nevada has more than twice as many prostituted people
per capita as California and 63% more than New York.
All right.
So they still have brothels there.
All right, so I'm moving to Nevada.
Might have to go to Nevada to get it.
Yeah, there we go.
Yeah, I wonder what would that be like for a woman?
Because I've gotten a Lady of the Night
or whatever they're called, a mystical pussy.
Yeah, just one time on shore.
I don't know what they call them.
Yeah, a mystical puss.
Yeah, I got one in Amsterdam, right,
where people go get them.
Oh yeah, that's like the prize, the Mecca.
Yeah, the Mecca of Horus. It is, that's like the prize. Yeah, the red like, the Mecca of whores.
It is, it's like the Istanbul of like,
you know, midnight couture or whatever, you know?
And so I went there and, oh, here was the funny part,
my buddy and I, both of us like,
acted like we weren't gonna go there,
so we both like went off by ourselves.
Oh, you went to these two separate rooms like,
hi man!
Yeah, night bud. And then saw each other there, we both like went off by ourselves. You went to separate rooms like, all right, man. Yeah.
Night, bud.
And then saw each other there.
That's tough.
That's when you just have to embrace it and then just do a force up or something.
But here was the sad part of it.
You go in there and it seems like it's very alluring and the mirage of it is very compelling.
But you go in there and right when you go in their door,
because they're standing out there
and there's kind of some red lights inside of the room,
you go in there, in the main door,
and there's like a bouncer guy right there.
And he's very, you know, tough guy.
And he says something real tough or something.
And then you kind of go like that.
And then you go into the room,
and it's very much like a doctor's room.
Like everything's kind of like covered in like paper or class. It feels like...
Classy.
It feels like, uh...
It feels very clinical.
Clinical, okay. So it's routine, it's like an appointment.
Right, that's what it starts to feel like. So the magic of like any like, you know, romance or whatever is going on.
Were you looking for lust and love?
I don't, I think everybody probably.
Probably.
I thought you were looking for just like a white willy.
No, I'm one of those guys who like would leave the strip club and be like, man, I think I'm, you know, I think there's a chance we're going to get her off the stage.
You're going to give her a pep talk the next time you go in.
They're like, hey, Annabelle magic.
I think I'll put you in community college, babe, you know. So much better than this you could be so much more
oh wow that sure is something. So I think it's very hard like I can't get an
erection like around broken glass or I can't get an erection I'm realizing
around like some environments like that that are so clinical. Have you ever spent a
night in jail? Yeah. So that's like exactly that how could you get right? How do you get off that feels like jail?
Yeah, with just a little silk. Yeah, it's kind of crazy
Yeah, it's a slightly silky jail silky jail. I would go to silky jail smoothie jail. Do you have a mugshot?
Um, I don't know if I'm a mugshot. That's a great call. That's a great question
If I do it's in Mississippi or Louisiana off to check. that's a good thing to look up for that would be sick merch
Wow, is that supposed to be you?
And then this one's just literally your headshot not a mugshot
Wow, yeah
Go back up to your tiny baby boy in that and that blue shirt one very young very impressionable
There I am. Yeah, what did I do?
It was kitty porn. Oh no kitty vids. Yeah
Ki tty. Oh, so it's meow. Yeah. All right. No problem. What about you you been in?
No, I'm dying to though because I would like I would like to uh, I'm upshot. See you in there
I would yeah, it would be good. I think I'd run that thing like a McDonald's
I'd see you in there keeping stuff in your bra
Yeah, and like it they come to me and they gotta ask,
like oh, do you want red dye number two?
You want some lipstick?
Because that's what the girls do in there, they go crazy.
Yeah, you wanna watch them call it on?
You want me to thread your eyebrows with some,
I don't know what they'd use, but I'll find out.
And I'll be the head of the market.
Yeah, you want me to pull some Clairol out of your pussy or what?
Like people smuggling makeup in there. Yeah, I mean is Clairol still makeup. I don't know what that is. You don't? Not sure.
Um.
I could pretend. Clairol. I thought it was a makeup company, is it?
All right, sure. Um.
Fuck it.
What does love look like for you? What's your love life like?
Do you have a boyfriend or you don't have a boyfriend?
I do not have a boyfriend. I have
You might have said that too, sorry.
I've never had one and I'm 26.
I know and it's like
everyone always does that.
It's like, ah rats.
Like damn, every single time I'm like, oh
I should just let that person have that reaction
because it is crazy.
It is crazy, but I have to address it.
But it's also pretty special though, I think.
Yeah, when I find that Mr. Special Guy, it's going to be real good because I've waited
this long, I suppose.
Yeah.
So, yeah, 26 years.
You ever missed them?
Do you feel like you've missed out on some good ones or no?
No, no, they don't really, they haven't missed them. Have you? Do you feel like you've missed out on some good ones or no? No, no.
They don't really, they don't really flock.
You'd be, you'd be totally shocked that I'm not flocking.
I don't really scream, um, uh, fuck me.
Like I don't really have fuck me eyes ever.
So I think I'm more of like a, a bro to some people.
Like my way of flirting is like misogynistic.
Oh, like kind of, yeah, just being buddies.
Yeah. Just being like, yo dude, like check out her tits or you can check out mine if you prefer. Yeah, I'm the thing
Yeah. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah
So haven't had luck thus far hence the male hooker. Did you have a like a high school prom date?
He is now I had to ask him he was a year older and he is now she and we
don't, I have, I have. Is he straight still or in a woman or is he now a gay
woman? I'm having a hard time picking up the pieces because we don't talk. You
know those people you just have to be like fix the clues in and see what
they're all about, like the little clues that they put out there. And then I didn't go to my senior prom you didn't know I was one of those
I'm still waiting to get picked up from my senior prom in my head. Oh
foolishly
Yeah, one day
But yeah, dude. Yeah, that's definitely I got stuck after the prom
This dude was crying and he had barred his his dad had left them a long time ago and he barred his mom's business
blazer and had those uh
Shoulder pads in it. Oh classy
Yeah, it was classy, but it was also just like a sign of the times
You know yeah like young men being raised by single moms and having to wear their mom's business blazer to the prom
Yeah, I guess I could have had it worse and it kind of broke. It was like he was bawling about something.
He thought he looked like Damon Wayans or something,
but some bullshit or whatever. I don't know.
He was out of his fucking mind.
And I was trying to get laid, but also be nice.
I was waiting to go see my girlfriend, but it was just a nightmare.
But this was your buddy? Yeah.
I know I got stuck giving him a ride after prom.
Oh, fuck. To this party.
And he started just bawling.
Damn, it's not that bad. Take it off, just wear the t-shirt.
Yeah. Underneath.
But he's like, everybody says I look like Damon Wayans and I wanna have my own life.
And I was like, motherfucker, you don't look anything like Damon Wayans.
Is he black?
Oh no, he was kind of like tan or whatever.
Like bitch, you don't look anything like fucking Damon Wayans, dude.
You're closeted homosexual.
Just fucking come out of the closet so we can go to this party. You wanted to wear that. You bought it specially. Oh, he loved it. Like fucking damn way is dude your closet and homosexual to
You wanted to wear that you bought it
Was he bald He did have a skinned head and he um had uh
You know any seen kind of black sometimes just for fun
But he was a great guy
Dang that's I guess that's interesting interesting. Sorry to act like that about that.
No, no that's actually, I think it's hilarious.
But now does it become a thing where you don't have a boyfriend because it's almost become a thing?
Yeah, like I'm like too far in now. So it's like I don't really, I'm not looking, I don't really give a shit at this point.
It's just, it is what it is. If it comes, it comes. But I would love to love to come one day And are you saving yourself for marriage type thing or you know?
Well, I would be if I could be
If I had it coming towards me like that, oh my god, I'd be a whore but I'm basically
Accidentally celibate which is a beautiful thing really, you know some women
They say oh, it's so easy for a woman to get laid,
they can have whoever they want.
No, it's not true.
There are some of us that have a really hard time.
Really?
I know a lot, I feel like I could name
at least five or six guys that would definitely
make love to you that I know firsthand.
Oh wow.
And have seen in the past two weeks, you know?
Wow, and you've got some cool pals.
I mean, or just, you know, like, like I mean cuz yeah, I don't even yeah
But it's like what am I even talking about is that a crazy?
No, it's great to hear actually that just gave me a little bit of a boost. Yeah, are you kidding me man?
I know some people that would definitely probably
Knock you up even
People that would just be amazing I was thinking about it the other night
I'm like, you know what? So anti having a kid
But I guess if I had one I would have to have it because that would be my only shot
You know only shot at what having a child?
Because if this one guy wants to bust it in then I guess I got to put one out
It's like it seems like a sad thing people, but this is just my life.
No, Grace, it's definitely, you know,
I think there's a lot of semen heading your way in 2025.
Oh my God, I can't wait to guzzle it down, my man.
It's gonna be good.
But like, it's funny to not be a whore,
but like really wanna be.
Yeah, that's a great.
There's something special about that.
Yeah.
Because most whores, they don't wanna be.
They wanna be known for something other than their hole or their box. Right, but then they're just out there Yeah! There's something special about that. Yeah. Because most whores, they don't want to be.
They want to be known for something other than their hole or their box.
But then they're just out there slurping or whatever to feel decent.
Yeah.
But at least you don't have to do that, huh?
Yeah, I guess.
I guess.
But you know, mouth's wide open.
I'll wait for my special day.
I don't either.
This is why I don't have a daughter, dude.
This is why I don't have a fucking daughter, dude.
What do you do if your daughter is like a tramp and you're the dad? I don't have a daughter dude. This one. I don't have a fucking daughter, dude
What do you do if your daughter is like a tramp and you're the dad? Ah?
That's me you got to start. Do you have a talk with them you think have any of your friends ever there?
They're like damn my dad had a talk with me because he knew I was like
Getting smashed so much or a lot of sex or whatever I think when you start having the talk is when they develop more of a daddy problem.
It's like there's nothing you can do as a father,
I feel like.
It's just like their decision to be what they wanna do.
Oh.
I suppose.
I don't know, I've never been a whore yet, yet.
So, we'll see.
If you had a daughter, what would her name be?
Probably something from that Scarlet Letter book.
What are some names in that book?
Something from the, you know,
the days when people used to die
on long ship journeys type shit.
You know what I'm saying?
Hester, that's beautiful.
Hester, maybe a Pearl.
Pearl.
Roger Chillingworth, that would be one.
Yeah, maybe a you have? I got Danger, but we call him Danny. Danger? Danger. And everybody in
Boston named Danny anyway. No matter what their name is, it becomes Danny. Yeah, it doesn't matter.
Yeah, yeah. It could literally be Roger. Danger is good. Yeah. Yeah. It's my name is, it's Roger,
but they call me Danny. Yeah
This kid yes, so like when he's filling out medical forms. He has to write danger, but everybody knows him as Dan or Danny
Oh, yeah, I think it's good. That's a cool name. Yeah
And he could get a cool job. He could be
I'm trying to think of what he could be anything. He could be the caution sign when you mop the floor
Yeah, could be anything. He could be the caution sign when you mop the floor Yeah, it could be
Traffic guard I feel like I'm blowing this am I blowing this this conversation. Yeah, no, I feel like it too
Okay, do you feel like I am no, I feel like I'm blowing
Ask you about the best
Sometimes where I just have to be like I feel like I'm fucking this up
No, I think it's interesting is I never really I don't think I'm too honest sometimes where I just have to be like, I feel like I'm fucking this up. No, I think it's interesting because I never really, I don't think, I'm not good at like,
I don't talk to women that much about sex stuff.
Yeah, I never talk about sex.
Really?
I'm just trying my very best.
Yeah, thanks for trying.
Yeah.
I have no personal experience.
Dude, well, hold on.
I'm like, I'm like writing a book report on a book I've never read.
We're going to get somebody to come in here and just...
Look, I'll do it like this and you guys just figure it out.
Oh, shit.
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Um, I don't even know what to ask about.
Hey, I was your holiday.
Yeah, it's good.
It was okay, I got a fever or something, you know?
And so I was like, everything was miserable, kind of.
Yeah, I feel that.
I had an ear blow out.
I can't hear out of this one.
Really?
Yeah, like at all.
And what occurred?
Were you guys out on the water?
I was on an airplane, and like three weeks ago,
it just blew.
And this is just a nightmare.
I've never had it.
I can't hear.
Yeah.
It's pretty brutal.
But other than that, pretty classic of a holiday. Good stuff. You spent time with your family? I did, yeah. Nice. Are your parents still married? They shouldn't hear. It's pretty brutal. But other than that, pretty classic of a holiday.
Good stuff.
You spent time with your family?
I did, yeah.
Nice, are your parents still married?
They shouldn't be.
They can't afford the divorce.
They looked into it.
And so I'm just working really hard this year
so they can get there.
Dude, that's such a great thing
if at the end of the year,
you actually have a big divorce for them.
I think they'll be stoked.
Oh yeah.
It'll be really good.
And they still live outside of Boston?
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, that's beautiful.
Yeah.
And so you have, so just so my listeners know,
so you, I know you, because we had Brianna Chicken Fry
on, you guys had a podcast together.
Yes, yeah.
And it's called?
Plan Bree Uncut.
Plan Bree Uncut.
Yes.
And you guys don't have it anymore.
It's no longer.
It's no longer.
Yes.
And so you guys, and you guys had
been friends for a long time. Yeah, we were friends forever. Okay. Since we were like in
fifth grade. Oh wow, kid friends. Yeah. Oh that's cute. Since we were little baby children.
That's sweet. And have you guys kept a good friendship after? I know that
there's been like, I'm not trying to get into like the tumultuousness of
things or whatever, but how is, how does that stand today? Because
it must be tough to like have a business with a friend.
Yeah. I was just, I've always just, like in 2020, she got the job at Barstool and like
had to move to New York for it. And I was taking a semester off from college and she
was like, do you want to come with me? And I was like, yeah, fuck it. Why not? And so
like I door dashed on foot when we got there and stuff and like
she slowly but surely like was trying to get me a job at Barstool. Oh really so
really hustling for you. Yeah so like she like really like like stuck her neck out
for me and like we ended up doing the podcast together after like a year of
living there and it was just so much fun we had a blast it was always fun doing
it. Yeah a lot of's clips are so great.
Dude, we were just, shoot the shit, good banter, but you know, we're just, I think we're just
going through a rough patch right now and we'll, I think one day we're going to figure
it out. But she's doing her thing, I'm doing my thing and I still love her so I'm being
a politician right now.
You feel?
Trying my best.
You know what's interesting is I've had times where I was like, I was going through moments
with friends and stuff, you know, and most of them evened out over time.
But the toughest part about it was in the times where we weren't getting along or we
were having differences that I didn't have my friend at times.
That was really the shittiest part.
It was like, even though I would have like a leg to stand on
about why I was upset about stuff,
sometimes I'd be like, man, fuck Scott, dude.
I'm gonna call Scott right now and tell him.
I couldn't even call my friend.
I'm so fucking fired up.
I want to, when you get done with the conversation,
like, ah, dude, you know who would really help me out
with this? Exactly who I'm talking about. It's want to get done with the conversation like ah dude You know who would really help me out with this exactly who I'm talking about
It's fucking brutal. It's tough. That is kind of the worst part sometimes was just hitting that type of moment
We're like, oh man, because it's hard to kind of have good friends, you know, yeah, you still have pals from growing up
Oh, yeah, yeah some good pals from growing up
So and then I've made more over the years kind of like people go through things a lot of friends get married and stuff
And since I'm not married you kind of fall into this weird place where you just become like you're just friends with
Whoever's not married. Yeah, that's kind of fucked up. Yeah, what does that start happening?
I would say probably in your 30s
It starts getting we're like well, I guess it depends on where you're from like where I'm from, Louisiana people get married early
Yeah, yeah, and so you lose a couple guys right out of the gate and right after get married their hair falls out immediately
I don't know why it's well at least they locked it in beforehand. That's true
Yeah, and maybe some of those guys know their hair is about to fall out. Yeah
Dad is just having a conversation with him. Hey buddy. Yeah, it's it's time to get that ring and put the knee down
Like that. I'm only 15. No, they always had that one kid that went bald way early, you know
And people using to buy alcohol they're like, yeah
By liquor and be like he's only like he's bald
He just took the foot out his 401k fine
He rode here on his bicycle it you'd think a fucking child is bald, damn it.
He's a DUI, he already bought the boost.
That's why he's on the bike.
Selling the liquor, damn it.
So yeah, but I still have good friends
from when I was growing up.
I think, yeah, and then I met, you know,
it's been like, I think like, since I work in business
where I kind of travel around and stuff, you meet a lot more it's been like, I think like, since I work in business
where I kind of travel around and stuff,
you meet a lot more people probably than you do
if you just stay in one, live in one town.
Yeah, I do think everyone should get out of their town
at some point.
Oh yeah.
Because like, you don't know what you're missing
if you don't.
Yeah.
Like, I thought everybody was Catholic growing up.
I never knew any Jewish people,
I never knew anyone who was different,
and I didn't find out until my junior year of high school that there's other religions. Oh, yeah, that's pretty retarded. Yeah, and you guys are so Catholic is the one
With the priests. Okay. Yeah, the one where they're playing freezeg with the kids, but they didn't tell the kids and that's that's where
I thought I could get some but oh really they only like the boys. Oh, yeah
I've been trying every angle for years anything you put eye black on or anything
I guess I could have shaved my head, but they see right through that with the tits, you know
Oh, it must be horrible in a pre-seed tits. He's like
Good day, so you shall not be blessed
Yeah, I never been I'm trying to think if I ever been Catholic or not I might have been we were we were
Presbyterian for a while I know and then my mom got in a fight with somebody outside of the church once and said then we
I think we were I think we're Methodists or six Methodists or something. I don't know how many there are I gotta ask my mom
Is that like Mormon shit?
No, it's just like,
you don't drive far to the church, wherever that one is.
Okay, yeah, sure.
Like the closest church or whatever.
The Lemonade Stand Church.
It was very, yeah.
It was, yeah.
It was like, okay, this is it, you know?
Yeah.
Yeah, it was like that kinda.
Yeah.
But, okay, so now, so you ended up in New York.
Yeah, yeah.
Was that your first time you had lived in New York when you went there with Brianna?
Yes, yeah.
Wow.
So I've been there for like four years and...
Do you feel like you're fitting in there now or is that...
Well now with stand-up, I'm like, I'm like, oh, finally, I love New York.
Like, I needed like my thing and I finally found my thing.
Yeah.
And so I've been loving that and I was just too scared to do it.
I was just being such a pussy.
To get up on stage?
To get up on stage, yeah.
And even give it a whirl.
Open mics and shit, I just wouldn't.
Yeah, because you're so endearing.
I mean, one of the things that I always admire about you
is just you being you is,
it's immensely charming
to like, it's like immensely charming to like,
it's like you can't help but not like want to follow along
with your world it feels like.
Yeah, that's really sweet, thank you.
Yeah, it's great.
I try to be like just myself and like open and honest,
but my problem is I do this accent
and it comes out only sometimes.
So I've got like this Boston accent,
but sometimes it's on, sometimes it's off.
So people are like, you're doing a fake accent.
But I don't even know I'm doing it.
So I don't know who I am.
It's kind of crazy.
If you don't know who you are, then you're a comedian.
Then most comedians don't know who they are
because that's why they're putting on a show. Some of the show is over time, they're trying to figure know who you are, then you're a comedian. Then most comedians don't know who they are because that's why they're putting on a show.
Some of the show is they're, over time,
they're trying to figure out who they are.
They're trying to manage this presentation
that they put to the world.
I think because when they were young,
maybe whoever they were didn't feel comfortable
or whatever in the world, so they started making this them.
And anyway, that's a little bit meta, I think.
But what was the, did you ever, there was ever a point in your life where you're like? Oh my god?
I want to be a performer
I liked I liked when people laughed I didn't I didn't know I didn't I think I didn't I never really trusted people that much, but I knew if they were laughing
that
They couldn't
Not like me. Yeah, like I feel like it would be impossible to hate somebody and laugh at the same time kind of yeah
Because you can't you can't fake a laugh, right?
You can but you but if you're telling but I would know yeah
I know a genuine laugh, and I know a fake laugh
Yeah, and if you're just gonna fucking hate me and be a dick then you're not gonna laugh in general
And then I could wean you out. Yeah. Yeah, it's good. Yeah, so I think there was something like that for me probably
Do you think you kind of had that comedian thing like that?
You know that you wanted to be a comedian or do you think that you just wanted to be a performer?
Did you kind of know what it was like where you wanted to end up and do you still know?
I've I've always wanted to do stand-up. I just didn't think I could I didn't think it was an option and I
there's a part of me that like wishes that and this is I guess serious, but there's a part of me that wishes I
Was able to get into stand-up before
anything else because I just want to be...
I don't want people to think I'm just doing it for shits and gigs
to have this other thing.
It's like that's what my main focus is and that's what I love.
It just so happened that one came before the other kind of thing.
And I wish I got more of the reps in before people started coming.
Right, and coming to see you.
But I appreciate people coming and seeing you.
But I really wanted to get it right.
I didn't even want you to stay the other night.
I was like, one day you can see it, not yet.
It's not there yet.
But it's good enough to buy tickets,
but it's not there yet for you, no shot. Oh, it was just cool to see you and your friends in the green room.
That was dope, dude.
And just like to see, like, just, I wanted to like kind of see what your energy was
about going up on stage and the room was buzzing, man.
People were so excited.
I think especially with podcasts and stuff, I noticed this.
I've sat in the audience and watched some of my friend tour podcasters as well.
I noticed this, I've sat in the audience and watched some of my friend tour podcasters as well.
And you just wanna kinda listen and be there
in the room with them.
You're like, that's my person or that's my friend.
Whatever it is, I fuck with them,
I just wanna be in the room while they're doing whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
And I've done the podcast touring.
That shit is so easy.
Oh, you mean being on stage with, just as your podcast? Yeah. Oh, I've never done that. It is so easy. Oh you mean being on stage with just as
your podcast? Yeah. I've never done that. It's so easy you just it's like you have segments you do the
same thing every night you like you can switch around with jokes depending on
the crowd but compared to stand-up like it's a walk at the park it's like you're
it feels like stealing. You're stealing money from fans that adore you. It's
like it's not fair. What?
But I never made any money off of it.
Really?
Barstool took it all, yeah.
Off your tour?
Yeah.
No way.
Yeah.
I had an interesting contract.
Yeah.
But I loved them so much.
Are you still working with Barstool?
I actually just recently left.
OK, so if you leave, that means, do you still have your rights to?
I didn't make anything when I was there.
Half of your podcast, but you had a contract, you got paid something annually.
Yeah. So I got, I had a salary.
Okay.
And that was, that was kind of it. And so I had the option to leave and I took it.
Was it a good salary?
It was decent. It wasn't equated to. Was it like $ salary? It was decent. Um, it wasn't uh equated to
Was it like five hundred thousand dollars no nothing close to that now
My buddy was made a little bit more a lot of it more a whole shit ton more. Okay
So there was discrepancy in power there was but she was doing another podcast and whatnot
Oh, that's right. She was bringing a baby different client different fans from that. Oh, yeah. Yeah got it
So it's all relative. Yeah, and also some of that stuff is as much as it like it's like
It's live and learn sometimes. I also didn't care
I was just happy to be there right like I was like literally just I was stoked to just have the job
Yeah, so I was at one point. I was working for free selling t-shirts just paying for my own
Yeah, it was crazy. I was like yo, I t-shirts just paying for my own
I'm just like really happy to be here
Do it anyway, I can't yeah, it's about to grind Oh, yeah
And I you know what I think no matter what and no matter what you get involved in you have to go through that
You have to go through periods of that yeah, and even with stand-up. You can't escape that
It's like you just have to you know get it on stage. We all you know
It's like we all learn it. I still learn it every time I take some weeks off
and go back on stage.
It's like, God, this feels new and scary.
And my balls just hide inside of me.
That's the new thing I'm learning is,
because I haven't taken time off this whole year,
and with Christmas, I took like two weeks off,
and I fucked myself big time.
I was like, Jesus Christ, this is bad.
This is bad news, bitch. Those shows, I don't know, they were fine, but they weren't great, I fucked myself big time. I was like, Jesus Christ, this is bad. This is bad news, bitch.
Those shows, I don't know, they were fine,
but they weren't great, I'll tell you that.
It was tough.
What, do you have like a close,
or like do you have it set up?
Like are you telling stories?
Are you telling more jokes?
Like what's your set like right now?
I'm kind of all over the place.
I'm trying to find my thing.
I'm doing half jokes, half punches.
The punches are corny.
Oh, some of the punches to the jokes are corny?
Yeah, I don't know if you can tell,
but I hate my entire set at the moment.
I really think it could be a lot better.
But that's why I'm doing Dry January
when I hit the ground running.
Oh, for sure, for sure.
Try some new ones.
Now, do you feel like a comedian,
or do you feel like somebody that's pretending
to be a comedian? I feel like I'm pretending of course and you can tell
It's brutal. I'm like I really want to be taken serious, but I can't even take myself serious
fucking fool
I'm just foolish
at least
But you know what dude I'll pay to come watch you be dishonest
And you know what dude? I'll pay to come watch you be this honest. I will pay $42 plus fees, okay?
To come to a room and watch somebody be this honest.
Just like fucking sweating. Sweating through my pants.
It's really not as bad as I'm making it out to be.
Hey!
But...
No, but I think, look, there's something about honesty.
There's not as much of it in the world.
I would literally pay to go to a room and watch somebody
be honest with themselves about what's going on.
I'm learning it.
I think we all pretend to be something
until we get the hang of it.
Yeah.
You know?
I just, I mean, I look up to you.
I look up to like all your buddies.
And. Well, we just been doing it longer. We don't know the fuck we're doing. But you've got it. I just, I mean I look up to you, I look up to like all your buddies and
Oh we've just been doing it longer, we don't know the fuck we're doing
But you've got it and it's just like so awesome to see, I just can't wait for the day I finally get it, you know?
Yeah
When did it click?
I don't know, I mean I think it like about 11 years you start to be like
I don't know, there's some different moments.
I mean, thank you, that's sweet of you to say that.
I mean, I definitely feel like I don't have a,
like this is, like it is my job now, you know?
For a long time, I didn't know if it was my job.
I felt like it was, but you keep going home like at Christmas
and you don't have a real job.
And you can be like, I'm a comedian, like, whatever, dude,
where's your husband?
Because everybody just thinks you're homosexual.
You know?
Until you get on some sort of television or platform.
Like, oh, he's actually very successful.
You should have been rooting him on.
I'm good for him.
Yeah, maybe we'll scratch out these
f***ing posters that we drew.
Wait, actually, will you sign this?
We're actually a huge fan.
And like, it's a poster that says,
you're a f***ing, you held up at my show.
But yeah, I'll sign it.
Thanks, guy. So yeah, I'll sign it. Thanks, guy.
Um, so yeah, I think there's like...
So that kind of stuff gets tricky.
And then I think there comes a point where it's like,
you don't have anything else,
and so it's like whenever you give up anything else,
like there were times I quit to do real estate,
there was times I quit,
and I f***ed up like the third contract ever, didn't I?
I had to pay somebody's lease for like six months
How'd you fuck up that bad and put myself as the?
guarantor
That just takes one John Hancock to pay six months rent
I had to go live with my girlfriend and I'm paying rent for these other motherfuckers
I Was going through some weird shit,
sometimes I would pee in the sink at night
at my girlfriend's, because I didn't want to pee loud
and wake up the family, right?
Oh, with the family, oh shit.
And the cat would go in there
and like mill around in a sink
and fucking snitch me out the mom
knowing that I was urinating
in the sink.
What's that talk sound like? Oh
She said it your boyfriend been peeing in this
It's not the first boyfriend's ever peed in the sinker she's kind of into it the moms into it I remember her daughter texting me mom knows
But the piston in the sink who knows whatever grace going through it I suppose
Who knows whatever grace
You got I mean you're gonna figure it out and I think it's interesting these days I think because
I'll say this there used to be more of stairways for how people got into comedy, right? Yeah, there was like
Obviously you got on stage, but then you got on different like little, like there was like a Comedy Central 10 Minutes or there was like these,
now there's like Dry Bar and different groups like that,
but there was other small groups
where you did comedy sets that they put out there, right?
And now a lot of that's disappearing.
There was like, what was that?
Late Show, there were some late shows
where you would just sit around in a panel, right?
Where people would start to build their name.
And now I think just a lot of podcasting
has kind of become that.
It's taken the place of a lot of things.
That's true, yeah.
Whereas before there was maybe more acting roles
or things like that for comedy.
Because there's not even that many comedies now,
like shows
Not really no not so much. I
Think that's I think that's the new wave that they're trying to do right now is that they're trying to
Cast for a lot of comedy shows because there has been like a lull yeah That's what I heard so I think that you have to have some place where you start to build
You know that's like an entertainment outlet, So I think podcasting is that, you know,
I think it's just kind of become that.
Or Tik Tok or some sort of like just, you know,
people's own social media, you know?
Cause sure you have the podcast,
but then also the clips are kind of what bring people
into your world a lot of times.
Yeah, that's true.
That is really true.
I also feel like I'm preaching at you, do I?
No, no, no, I'm listening and I'm taking it all in
because I, it was clearly I need it. I need it all the. Do I no no, I'm listening and I'm taking it all in because I Clearly I need it. I need
But you don't don't take any of my ideas no, no don't take any of my uh, I'm not trying to give you any advice
No, no, that was that was the advice you gave don't don't uh, don't take anyone's advice. Was it the other night?
Oh good. He said oh well, I just fucked that up
Don't take anyone's advice. Was it?
The other night.
Oh, good.
He said, oh, well I just fucked that up.
Because that's even advice, huh?
Damn, what an idiot.
I guess I haven't podcasted in a while.
I'm pretty rusty.
I'm usually good with the banter.
No, you're always great.
I usually go with the jokes.
I feel like you're doing good.
Your sister's here.
Shout out Nora.
What's up, Nora?
Nora's here.
We're trying to figure out, so Nora just graduated
from West Virginia University.
Wow.
And we're trying to figure out
what we're gonna do with her.
She needs a job, so I'm trying to think of
what she can do within the realm of working together.
Do you have some skillsets, Nora?
Pretty much.
I can edit.
You can edit.
Yeah, so we're thinking she's gonna be doing
the social media side of things.
Great.
Yeah, so.
That'd be nice. She's tagging along. It's good to have someone that knows side of things. Yeah. So that'd be nice. Just tagging along.
It's good to have someone that knows you very well.
Yeah.
So.
Yeah, and just find new things that are creative.
That's just like one of my goals I started thinking of
for this year.
It's like, well, what things could I do that would be create?
Like would seem like unique or that I could try
and be more creative.
What do you got so far?
Well, you have to, that movie is coming out. Yeah, me and David Spader are making a movie. You're making a movie. It's in the process of being made right now
We still have to yeah, we wrote it and we start making it in
January. What's the writing process for that? Like are you allowed to talk about it?
Yeah, we just try I mean it took us like two years and we try to get financing nobody wanted to help and so we're
Making it ourselves. Oh no shit. Fuck yeah, that's sick. So it's like, yeah I think I thought,
like I never wanted to be an actor or anything like that
and I don't really think that that is a world of mine,
but I thought like if I look back
and I was like I get a chance to make,
I got to do something with David Spade
who I like idolized.
And do you Skype and write or?
We would write together.
Together? Yeah, I still have my apartment in LA
So whenever i'm there, well, we we've worked on it over the years in tons of ways. Oh, fuck. Yeah, but it's been fun
I can't even believe it. I definitely have learned a lot
and um
We think that it's funny, you know, but if I look i'm laying in my deathbed or whatever
Yeah, I think it'd be neat to be able to say that I got to do that. Absolutely. And also that I tried to do it. You know, because people may make it seem like you can't do this.
You have to have all these special people like, I haven't had an agent help me, nobody's...
And so that to me is like the kind of shit that I like. Oh yeah. You don't think I can do this? Watch me.
Yeah, fuck you. You know? I'll prove you wrong. Yeah. There's nothing, the only thing difference between you and me is that you've done it already
Hmm, that's the only thing that's fair. I don't know that shit makes me fucking activated for somebody
No, dude, you're locked in I love to see that. I don't know why well you're excited you're jazzed
I don't know if I'm excited. I think I'm just fucking angry
I'm ready to hide somebody's kneecaps in their ass dude. Do you even spay just spaded people?
I mean it'd be look if anything I get to sit around with him for five weeks and laugh and we have a good time so it'll be cool
Um when do you know something like that's done?
That's the toughest thing is scariest is that
Like you know once you move on you can't there's no yeah like that scene or whatever is locked in yeah
You know so and I'm not a great actor
You know it's like I you know I'm gonna do my best. I have a plan and
And I'm excited about what we wrote you also worry that if you wrote it now, and it comes out in
Seven months will any of the will it jokes to be funny?
I'm sure that sort of thing I'm sure you guys timeless timeless humor. He does. I don't know fuck. I'm doing
But he's definitely so I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, dude.
But he's definitely, so I don't know,
it's just a lot of little things you learn,
like oh, this is maybe why I don't,
this isn't something that I love.
What did your mom get you for Christmas?
My mom got me a megaphone for Christmas.
And I got her a trip to Hawaii. So, uh, a little different.
And your dad too to go to Hawaii?
No, that's what's kind of fucked up, I'm realizing.
But my father and I, we have a tricky relationship.
Really?
Yeah.
And do y'all have any brothers?
Does he have any sons?
No, even the dog's a lady.
So, yeah, the poor bastard, everybody always says, but it's what he gets, he says.
I guess he was a fucking asshole growing up, so.
Was he to who, to women?
It must be, yeah, he must have been a fucking prick
because he says, I deserve it, that's what I get.
Four women and a lady dog.
Yeah. Yeah.
And what happened again?
He was in a fire, what happened?
He was electrocuted on the job,
so he's the guy, when the lights go off in the city,
he turns them on.
And he got zippy zapped.
And now we're doing the same drugs.
He does ketamine therapy.
Does he really?
Yeah.
And he does his in a doctor's office
and I do mine under the Brooklyn Bridge.
It's a little different. Hey. Yeah. Dude, my buddy Ernest used to do it in a doctor's office and I do mine under the Brooklyn Bridge. It's a little different.
Hey.
Yeah.
Dude, my buddy Ernest used to do it in a car wash all the time.
He'd call me.
I was like, how are you doing?
He'd be like, get him into the car wash.
It's raining.
Wow.
And is your dad kind of a romantic guy still?
Do they still have a romantic relationship, your parents?
Um, no.
I'm just trying to envision him.
Just absolutely no. Picture like any Irish guy with like a scally cap about like yay high, wide, one dead tooth.
Oh yeah. The old Andrea Gale, huh?
Yes. Chewing tobacco but he doesn't care anymore. It's just all in his teeth.
It's just all like...
Like a fucking salad bar hanging out of his face.
Confetti, tobacco all over.
It's like every day's a party in his mouth.
Yeah, like that guy that's fucking whistling tunes,
just whistling the soundtrack of the departed
Just rehearsing for lines. He doesn't even have he just always wanted to be a mobster. Who's on the ball?
Who is on your Boston?
Mount Rushmore, we've got
Ben Affleck. Oh, yeah, Matt Damon. Mm-hmm. And then it used to be it used to be Marky Mark, but he kind of lost me because he wakes up too early
in the morning and gets too swollen too early.
Yeah, got him, got bizarre, but he was also selling liquor too.
That was a strange, I was like, it's selling a liquor, but you're also up so early.
His hands are in too many baskets.
I don't trust him. He His hands are in too many baskets. I don't trust him.
He has his hands in too many things.
Do you think he still has the pulse of the streets in Boston or no?
Nah.
I think he lost that.
He went full Hollywood.
He might have.
He lost us.
He moved to Vegas now, I think.
I think he lives in Las Vegas.
Nice guy.
Busy man.
Busy.
He's busy.
He's done a lot. Yes
It starts early on beating the shit out of an Asian guy all that jazz he did that he did that
You can't get caught he's not stopping Asian hate at all. Yeah, and that's a shit
Yeah, the brothers picked it up a couple years ago. I mean when the brothers was zapping Asians everywhere
And that's a shit. Yeah, the brothers picked it up a couple years ago I remember when the brothers was zapping Asians everywhere
Your brothers are the brother brothers the brothers
Zapping Asians everywhere and the news kept being like Asian people are under attack. You're like, yeah my brothers
It was the brothers and my father. My dad just is Sparky now
Yeah, your dad's like that guy who just walks across the floor like this and he's like,
uh, remember doing that shit to people?
Oh yeah, I get people good.
I used to, my favorite thing to do to fuck with someone was pass the milk carton around
and say, oh, you sit on it, it's all right.
And then you give it to the biggest person and you know it's going to explode.
They sit on the milk carton and it opens?
Yeah, people did that to me.
Really? Yeah, it wasn't me, people did that to me. Really?
Yeah, it wasn't me who was doing that to people.
Would it open under you or not?
Always, every time.
Really?
And I fell for it every time, it was foolish.
I got jumped a lot growing up.
You did?
I did, yeah.
By whom?
One time from a black man.
Oh yeah.
That was good.
That was at a 21 Savage concert.
That's the old, yeah.
Yeah.
That's the Irish hello right there.
Yeah. It was at a hello right there. Yeah.
We got a 21 Savage concert?
Yeah, he was kind of windmilling me and I was pissing my pants crying.
And then all of a sudden 21 Savage said,
Yo, y'all wildin' down there.
Y'all gotta chill.
And I'm like, can you help?
It was crazy.
Were you wildin' or you were not?
I was getting wilded on.
Sorry that happened.
You know, it was brutal.
And it was good though because my buddy didn't even try to help.
The girlfriend of the guy who was punching me said, nah, just let it happen.
And she did.
She let it happen.
No way.
So there wasn't even any female support?
No, it was just, yeah.
It was just...
Oh my god, baby girl, that's tough.
Yeah, no, it's quite the story though. just uh, baby girl. That's tough. Oh, yeah. No, it's quite the story though
I went to school the next day with a black eye. Mm-hmm from a black guy. Yeah, so that was nice
I was kind of like, oh you own that and then they say that's cultural appropriation. You're like give me a fucking break, dude
I just pretend it was from sex
Let's keep bringing it back to that.
Well, I'm sorry that some,
yeah, you got abused by a brother like that.
No, it's all good.
You could have gotten knocked up though.
That would have been nice.
Have you dated a lot of black men over the years?
No dating is what-
You haven't dated either?
No.
A what?
Well, like I've been on,
I've been on three dates in my life.
Are you serious, Chris?
Like the last date I went on, he recorded inside my house, so I said, I think I'm good for now.
For now, yeah.
Yeah, for now.
Two weeks later, you're like, let's run it back.
Yeah, dude, just lock your camera up, I guess.
Yeah, so that was brutal.
I got to think of somebody who could have said, well, now that's sad.
I shouldn't have said that.
No, sorry. Another date I went on, I was talking about it on the podcast, keeping it very ambiguous.
I didn't want any feelings to get hurt, but he showed up hammered and I thought that he was like just wicked drunk and slurring his words.
Well, it turns out he had a speech impediment and I didn't realize and I didn't pick up on that and he sent me a very long text I have a speech impediment and I don't know why very long. Yeah, he said I didn't I didn't know why
You didn't like the champagne. I bought you at the dive bar. So I'm sorry. I guess we just want different things
Oh, yeah, I don't know. I don't have a good track record. Well, yeah, I think you do
I think it's just you know,, I think I would have no idea.
Yes, Papa?
I know.
I'm not gonna fucking tell you, dude.
It's quite all right.
No, we're gonna get some fucking real dogs in here to smash you, Gracie.
Hell yeah.
Have you seen that girl?
Have you seen that girl who got railed by like 150 guys?
Oh yeah, I saw that.
I don't know how I feel about that.
I don't know what to do with that It's just is it's just a thing that happens. She's almost like the evil Knievel of like
Yeah, she's kind of doing like magic like I don't know. She's like adding time. She's doing daylight savings or something
Yes, that's a lot of time spent. Yeah, it just seems crazy. And then what are you really doing?
it's almost just like, like people are just running
and just kind of jousting themselves
into your vagina real quick and then we're running off.
It's like a meet and greet with their dick out.
Yeah.
Yeah, just like next.
Yeah, Lily Phillips is her name.
She's gorgeous.
British OnlyFans. British girl, yeah.
Well, I wonder if this is the thing you're starting to see
because of OnlyFans, like people are having to start
to one up each other. Yeah,, this is going the extra goddamn mile
um
Yeah, this is I don't know if I I don't know if I would even enjoy something like that
You know like I mean, yeah, even if you were doing it, you know, we're like i'm gonna make love to 100 women
I'd like I'd like 11 women. I would definitely want to chill have a gatorade or something something, get on my phone. Yeah, it was like, yeah, like what's, uh, I don't know why I was gonna ask that.
Listen to some Scott Stapp or whatever.
Did you see that Scott Stapp, that their band has made more this year than they ever made before?
Who did?
I thought that was pretty interesting. Bring that up, brother.
There goes my hero.
You know that song?
Watch out where he goes. Yeah, know that song? What's it, wow, it goes, yeah?
Is that it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
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Dude, your friends were so funny the other night.
You have the best friends.
So yeah, those were my friends from growing up.
What I didn't realize was one of my friends, she's a really big fan, and her boyfriend
who was sitting next to you, he's an even bigger fan of yours.
And um-
That guy, I think one of his lips was sweating a little.
Yeah, he was losing it.
And she had her phone out and she did exactly what I asked her not to do and she had her flash and she recorded a video.
And I was like, she thought she was taking a picture and she actually took a video and it was like three seconds long of her boyfriend saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so, yeah.
That's alright.
I was so embarrassed.
The scary part is if you think somebody recorded your whole conversation just because then you don't even know what you've said. No, no, no. I think you say. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed.
I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed. Here right here Creed reached their highest calendar year earnings in 2024 grossing 64.8 million from 825,000 tickets across 55 performances
Damn, that's their highest calendar year earnings
Is that ever is there any more information with it? So Cree's never been hotter
Than right now. That's crazy to think cuz didn't weren't they playing stadiums before you know be a good idea
I've been saying this is there should be a comedian
at the half time for the Super Bowl.
That's a horrible idea.
Yeah, I wanna do it.
You do?
Yeah.
Grace, you would be, you-
I would fail miserably.
You think you would?
I don't know, maybe give me what, 11 years?
Oh, 11 years, yeah, I thought you were talking about in a couple of months.
Oh, right now?
No, no, God no.
No, I could pull that though if I wanted to.
It'd be hard.
I think it would be way too scary.
It would do like half music, half,
you can find like the good happy medium
between fireworks, music, and jokes.
It would be, yeah, I think it'd feel like-
It'd be like the worst thing that's ever happened
at the Super Bowl thus far.
Fuck, I'd be brave of you.
I would pledge allegiance to that.
Okay.
Salute on that.
That would be intense.
There goes my hero.
Does Creed even sing that song?
No idea.
Truly and honestly.
But yeah, it says right there, Creed earned more money in 2024 than they did in any other year over the 30 year career.
Um. Oh so they've never been hotter. Good for them. My hero. Oh no that's my Foo Fighters. Oh shit.
What's Creed? Uh, who knows dude. I don't know if I'm supposed to say this but I saw Kid Rock the
other night on New Year's he looked like he was
Like he'd been through it. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You look like crack rock dude pull up that video of him from the other
No, I was I saw him with my own eyes Oh you did you look like he was about to he was about to go out on a stretcher
Is that always the thing is that is kind of you know that's not always a thing
But oh did somebody get a video of him?
Yeah, this is it!
He definitely, um...
He looked a lot worse upstairs.
He seems pretty healthy right there.
Yeah, he's clean.
Looks like a good drinking night out.
He was shaking good.
Was he singing?
I don't want problems with Kid Rock, actually.
He's the best at taking jokes and telling jokes.
Oh, good, all right.
Yeah.
I feel like he had a good time.
Yeah, no, he had a blast.
I almost met him for dinner that night, actually.
Oh, really?
Did you ever spend time around him?
No, just that one hi and bye kind of thing.
She do his comedy festival.
He does a comedy show here every year that rhyming is for charity.
Oh, no shit.
It'd be fun to get along.
Oh, yeah.
If you wanted to.
If you guys got to meet and you guys got along
I'm trying to think um. You think he'd fuck with me? Yeah. Are you fucking with me? He's his sweetheart
Yeah, all right. I'm fucking with you. Cool cool cool cool cool cool. I'm a fan. All right, let's go. I think you're
Yeah, I'm curious to see
Yeah, I'm just excited to fucking be along for the ride and see what goes on. Yeah, thank you man. I'm really pumped for your movie. That sounds like really exciting stuff. So when do you start filming that? We'll see. January 10th. Yeah, I don't want to think too much about it because I think it's horrible and then it's like you have to put it out.
Oh yeah, just enjoy it. Just enjoy it. Don't talk about it. Just do it. Real G's moving silence like lasagna.
Yeah. That kind of shit.
So that's the kind of shit we're doing. I'm trying to think of um You have a new podcast coming out or it's out already. Oh coming out. Okay
I signed with a new network. Have you heard the unwell network? Yep with Alex Cooper, right?
Okay, I never thought a day in my life I'd be a diversity hire, but it's all blonde hair blue
Eye pretty girls there. So are you considered a diversity hire? Yeah. Why burn uh redheaded a redhead and I just bring a different kind of
flavor so oh yeah ba bay leave huh
do they have back bay leaves I think they might grace and Malley is officially
unwell so that means you're officially working with their network so that's
happened that's happened yes so that happened like right before the new year. And then...
Did you know that was coming? Was there...
They helped on it quick. So I...
You already separated from the from your previous podcast before this happened.
Yes. And so I thought it happened on... I left Barstool on Sunday and then I got the call Monday
and we had paper signed by Thursday.
Wow.
So it moved pretty quick, which was kind of crazy.
And is it a better deal than you had at Barstool?
Yeah.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah, I'm excited about that.
You feel good about it?
I feel good, yeah.
Except the one thing I'm concerned about is I don't have health insurance anymore,
and I'm going deaf in my left ear.
Oh, yeah, it's true, huh?
So I'm gonna have to figure that out.
And especially if you start taking on a lot of
kicks this year, you're probably gonna need some health insurance, you know?
I'm gonna need a couple of Plan B pills and whatnot. Oh yeah, get you a couple grams of Plan B.
Yeah, I'll buy the bulk. They should make a... I'll get it from Kid Rock.
Yeah, get it something from that ditch on you dude.
He'll sell you something bro.
Plan B should do a powder huh?
Yeah.
How great would it be to do a line of Plan B?
Dude, I would fucking rip that left and right if I had the sex.
I'd do it.
Bye!
I had my first crazy fan bring me a bag of cocaine to my show the other night.
Yeah, that was good. They know I like to stuff, but they wrote,
we love you so much on a bag of cocaine, which I thought was hilarious.
So cool.
It's just interesting.
Were you able to use any of it or not?
I preferred not to just because just circumstantially it was
unknown where the origin was from.
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah dude, my buddy's aunt used to fucking shed that
like a hole in her throat or whatever
and they used to boof cocaine right down it.
That's fucking awesome.
That's sick.
Just rocket that shit.
I wanna get there.
Right through that little bird.
You gotta be doing something right to get to that point.
Right through that little birdhouse door she had on something right to get to that point right through the birdhouse door
She had on her neck hole. It's cuckoo. Yeah
She had that little birdhouse door
What else is going on what else is happening in the news right now?
We have not confirmed that the explosion was caused by very large fireworks and or a bomb carried in the bed of the rented
Cyber truck and is unrelated to the vehicle itself. Well, it could have been a fun time or
Terrorism. Yeah, dude the toughest thing about a cybertruck. What do you drive grace? I don't have a license
You don't have your license. I live in New York. Oh, you don't need it, huh? Yeah
I used to have it but I just let it expire. I used to drive. I used to drive and I had I had a Lincoln
I just let it expire. I used to drive. I used to drive and I had I had a Lincoln
2002 Lincoln presidential town car which is either an elderly person or a pimp I don't know if you've ever seen those bad boys very prestigious. Yeah. Yeah three three
Three in the front three in the back. That was the fucking cruiser. We loved that thing. It was awesome
Whip in that thing. It was awesome. Whippin' that bitch, boy. That thing was classic.
Whippin' work in that bitch, son.
That thing's awesome.
Yeah, still smell like my dead grandpa.
Oh yeah. It was good.
All right, Papa.
Yeah.
He's in that bitch for good.
I could've waved from the croak to cop that thing.
You ever are.
Didn't you ever make out on your backseat of that car
with any man or anything like that?
I mean, I'm sure you had some dates, huh?
We had plenty of room for it.
But I never did.
God.
And Nora, you don't coach her on dating or anything?
It's hopeless.
Well, it's fine. I'm not worried about it.
Right.
I'm not worried about it.
But it's just been something that's been in your life.
Mm-hmm.
Now, what if a man came along and he's looking for marriage?
Do you think that that's something you would actually consider, you think?
I mean, at this point, it's starting to be like, well, the older I get,
and the bigger reaction that I get when I tell people I've never been in a relationship
is when I start to think, yeah, I think the next guy will probably be a forever.
Might be, huh?
Yeah. He could be a real prick, too.
No, he breaks. I gotta lock it down. He better be a prince forever. Might be, huh? He could be a real prick too. No, he's-
I gotta lock it down.
He better be a prince.
It's-
He better be.
And there's gotta be some,
I'm trying to think of,
what's your ideal man?
Or do you even have that?
Such a dumb question, isn't it?
Who gives a fuck?
I'll, fuck it.
I'll tell this story.
I had a crush on Shane Gillis for a little bit.
Big crush.
And I had met him at my work.
And I just word vomited.
I was talking to him,
and I dropped a sandwich that I was eating,
and he said, are you gonna pick that up?
And I said, I gotta go, and I just left.
That kind of thing.
And I just kept running into him.
You pick it up, white boy, that kind of shit.
Well, I just got really nervous.
I wasn't playing cool at all.
Oh, it wasn't a stacked tactics.
No, no, I just, I scrammed out of there.
But I just kept running into him that month, like a lot.
And it looked like I was stalking him.
And it ended with he hosted Saturday Night Live.
I was at the after party.
And I'm looking at him.
I'm like, don't look at him, don't look at him.
And I looked at him, I go, him like hey congrats tonight man he's
like yeah thank you so much I said yeah but you're gonna get mad pussy tonight
bro oh yeah I don't yeah you're not supposed to say that one and he said
what what did you say I said ah I just left the bathroom line.
I bought him a beer because I felt bad.
Fuck yeah, dude.
No, I respect your fucking move.
That's how I flirt.
Yeah, you want this pussy, you're never going to get it, whitey.
Don't you come honky honky and around this thing,
around this little fucking kitty chamber, whitey.
Yeah, that's just like a really great example
of how I operate.
Yeah.
So it all makes sense, right?
I feel you sometimes.
I would get so nervous.
I followed a woman one time for like seven or eight blocks
and I finally caught up to her
and I was like, I was so nervous.
I just was like, I'm not following you.
That's what I said.
Yeah.
I fucking walked off. Yeah. Ugh. I'm not following you, that's what I said. I fucking walked off.
Yeah.
Ugh.
I'm not following you.
And someone was uphill,
it was like obvious that I was fucking following her, dude.
My face was all wet.
She started running.
Huh?
She started running fast.
No, she's moving quick, kind of, you know,
with pace or whatever.
Yeah, Shane just won Cracker of the Year.
Oh yeah, that's a huge.
I saw this the other day.
This is a new one by him, right?
From Mr. AB.
I don't know, what is this?
AB. He did like a whole, like, he was giving awards out to everybody this year.
Oh, he was? Antonio Brown?
Yeah, funniest cracker.
Somebody said Winner got to use the N- that was his thing, Winner got to use the N-word, is that what Antonio said? One time or something?
I got a new goal for next year. The end, that was his thing, when he got to use the N word, is that what Antonio said one time or something?
I got a new goal for next year.
You do?
Yeah.
This is it?
This is it.
Cracker of the year.
What do you get to say the N word?
I think you can do it once.
All right.
It's not even like a month.
It's not that I want to, it's just like,
it would be a nice perk.
No, yeah, you should, it's gotta be a prize.
Yeah.
Yeah, and I-
I wonder if you could say it like in public
or does it have to be alone in the shower or something?
I mean, you can, I don't, I don't say it,
I mean, I'll think it sometimes loudly or whatever,
but you will not, I'm not that guy.
Somebody in our town used to write it down all the time
and throw it in, like put a message in a bottle
and throw it out into the water.
And then it'd go downstream.
Yeah, and then like, some dad and his kid
are just walking along the stream, and the kid finds it and he's like, what's this? Oh, this is
a historic artifact. It's just sad that that kind of shit is just like. That's unfortunate.
It's that kind of shit that's ruining our waterways. That's what I'm saying. Have you
ever been in a contest?
Did you ever win like a most talented or funniest contest?
No, I've lost pretty much everything I've ever tried to do.
You're crazy!
But you know, you can't let that stop you.
I lost class clown to some girl who dropped out of high school.
Nah.
Yeah.
So we did him at the beginning of the year and she was not there to receive the award
at the end of the year.
You should have to be able to stay in school to even be able to do it.
That's insane.
It wasn't fair.
And I don't think I was eligible because of just being a shithead.
I had like a 1.5 GPA.
Oh, so you were not educated?
I was not. I was too worried about having fun and cracking jokes.
Oh, so you were part, you were having a good time?
I was blasting off, yeah.
Okay, so I see.
I wasn't as much of a loser, I just wasn't getting laid.
But I was cool, I was having fun.
And were you getting wasted at parties and stuff
and like having you?
Oh, absolutely, people didn't like having me around
because if you got stuck with me,
you would be dragging me out of the woods
Yeah, yeah, I would fall flat. Oh really? Yeah, you were fucking just I was just
The party stops here boys tree falls in the woods. You're gonna hear it. It's grace. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, we used to have this guy in our town this fellow. He had well a lot of Irish
they've always equated the Irish with like I
Don't want to say like a step up from having Down syndrome or whatever, but it's popular.
Yeah.
Right. Like we had a guy in our town, I've told this story before, but he had Down syndrome and his mom didn't know it, right?
Never got the paperwork or the blood test or whatever.
And so she just thought he was Irish, right?
She thought he's Irish and she's like buying him all this balls.
You talking about Shane?
Huh?
No, no, no. I'm sorry.
No.
This wasn't, this wasn't Shane.
Shane, Shane probably knows the guy.
But this was just a local DS guy, you know?
Oh, but his mom would get him all this Boston Celtic shit
and Notre Dame shit.
It was like, you know, and the train that came in our town
didn't even go to Boston, so it probably never go to Boston.
But whenever he would misbehave or whatever,
they would put him in this baby crib,
even when he was an adult.
And he had this thing where he just would not go out of it.
He would stay in the crib.
Like a playpen, not a crib,
but like a baby's play little area or whatever.
And he would stay in it even like 14, 15 years old.
Yeah, something like that.
What else did I see recently oh there was the LSD Diplo oh yeah oh yeah Diplo trips on LSD what's the most
I'm so curious what's the most conventional place looks a kid rock you've done LSD right D. Right now?
Right now? Did someone else talk to him already?
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Please, oh my God, hold on, hold on, hold on.
Please tell me.
Look at Anderson, he's probably getting sick from being,
could be gay from being,
D. Ed Diplo's definitely,
every time I'm in Las Vegas, I see that guy.
That guy loves to party.
Yeah, he loves to party.
That's so brave, dude, to go on live television on LSD.
Oh my God, I'd kill myself.
I really would.
That's so scary.
I would smoke my own nuts, bro.
I could not even fucking do it. I would take my penis nuts, bro I could not even fucking do it
I would take my penis off and just fucking hide it in somebody's face, dude
I could not I would freak the fuck out dude. He was playing it so cool too. So cool
I would have I would have been scratching my eyes out like yeah, I can't I did it one time you did
Yeah, you did LSD what when you were on camera? Yeah, I wasn't on, no. I just like in general did it one time. I didn't like it.
Oh, only one time? And where did you guys go?
Um, it was after a long day of partying and we ripped it at 3 in the morning. So it was a really bad idea.
Yeah, really bad idea. Oh, yeah. So I will be doing that anytime soon, but Molly's a lot better.
She's a sweetheart. I like her.
She's good shit.
Oh yeah, Molly's the other one's shit.
Yeah, I remember throwing a bunch of rocks at,
a bunch of grass or whatever we thought
there was like these little people in it or whatever.
We thought we kept hearing them yell
every time we throw the rock in there.
It was just children.
Oh, in the morning, half my buddy's drive
I was in that fucking, in this yard, dude. We's driveway was in that fucking yard, dude.
We were all sweating and our shoulders were hurting.
Who, it was like the neighbors?
Yeah, just fucking, they had these elephant ear things in the ditch and we thought that,
we kept throwing these rocks and I was like, listen, you can hear these people scream when
you throw it in there.
Get fucking devious on that.
You are not a one love hippie on LSD.
We threw a fucking eighth of a dump truck of driveway gravel into that ditch.
Started eating it and shit.
I'm trying to think of some famous LSD trips.
I mean I had some good ones. I had one where I like,
when I was in LSD I took mushrooms to a party.
And a lot of people had never taken them and I gave them all to them and I was in LST, I took mushrooms to a party. And a lot of people had never taken them, and I gave them all to them, and I was like,
let's play hide and go seek, and I just counted.
And they all went and hid, and then they fucking...
And they were all alone with their dogs.
I never looked for any of them.
Wait, that's classic.
I'm still never...
You are devious.
I've still never looked for them.
Yeah, fuck them, dude.
If they can't handle that fucking mountain lion bitch,
then get out of the fucking...
Can't handle their own goddamn
And get out the forest big dog, huh if you don't want to link up and get out the food chain
Like tear your friends like who can handle it
Who can handle being alone?
like who can handle it? Who can handle being alone?
Who can do their drugs?
My favorite thing ever,
I used to be with my buddy Jeffrey and Scottie and Nate.
We'd all be outside smoking dope or whatever,
smoking flour or weed or whatever.
And I'd come back in a few minutes early
and Jeff's dad would be always sitting in the house
just reading the newspaper or whatever.
And I'd come in and I'm like, Mr. Mike, they...
You're like, what's going on? I'm like, oh just Jeff was being kind of, I don't know like he just
he kept taking his shirt off or whatever and Mr. Mike had issues with like gay stuff.
Yeah I saw that coming.
So the second I was like he had his shirt off whatever he'd be like,
I was like, he had his shirt off, whatever. He'd be like, you can fucking,
you can feel his fucking teeth just climbing over his tongue
through the newspaper, right?
He'd be like,
Grrrr!
And so I would just plant that seed, dude.
I would just go and they would come in,
they'd be stoned out of their brain.
They'd come in the house and he'd be like,
Jeffrey! And he'd fucking have him come in, they'd be stoned out of their brain. They'd come in the house, and he'd be like, Jeffrey!
And he'd fucking have him come in there.
And he'd be like, just roast him for being homosexuals.
What are you doing out there with your fucking shirt off?
And Jeff stoned out of his face,
has no idea what's going on.
And he'd stay in the house behind him, like yeah.
Why you being such a gay homo?
Oh, it was a good time.
I mean, it was just, it wasn't a worst.
So you like throwing your boys under the bus?
I like fucking being the bus driver.
And all the seats are under the bus.
Nice. That's what I like.
And it's short too.
Yeah, I just like that.
I like it. I like just creating
something, right? Like let's see what happens
here if we set this thing up this way.
Let's cause some chaos. Um, there was that one famous story.
Who's the famous- there was two members of, I think Fleetwood Mac that took LSD.
Oh, wow.
Oh, there it is.
The night that Fleetwood Mac lost Peter Green and Danny Kerwin to LSD.
Yeah, what was this about?
Oh, they died?
It's all, uh, amid a manic psychedelic party
in a commune-like mansion, Green,
I think it's Peter Green is the guy's name,
was drawn down into the basement
and arrived out of the other side in tears.
In the band's eyes, he was distraught,
despite Green claiming to have had
an extraordinary experience and stating
that he played the best guitar of his life down there.
Another member of the band present that day
was Danny Kerwin.
Fate also besieged him that night.
Peter Green and Danny Kerwin both went together
to that house in Munich.
Okay, that's where they were after a show.
Their one-time manager, Clifford Davis, recalls,
both of them took acid, as I understand.
Both of them, as of that day,
became seriously mentally ill.
It would be too much of a coincidence
for it to be anything other than taking drugs as of that day, became seriously mentally ill. It would be too much of a coincidence for it to be anything other than taking drugs
as of that day.
A fear the rest of the band felt, an intense sense of dread in that place, and managed
to scurry away with the two heavily intoxicated members.
While Greenwood recovered and enjoyed a creative life away from the spotlight despite persistent
problems, things fared differently for Kerwin.
Danny had been a nervous and sensitive lad from the start.
He was never really suited to the rigors of the business. Mick Fleetwood once opined.
Touring his heart in the routine wears us all down.
One night while backstage his regression came to the fore, Danny was being odd about tuning his guitar.
Mick Fleetwood remembers. He got up suddenly and bashed his head into the wall, splattering blood everywhere.
I've never seen him do anything violent in all the years I I'd known him the rest of us were paralyzed in complete shock damn
He was wonderful, but he couldn't handle the life eventually ending up homeless on the streets of London Wow damn
Sounds like a Tuesday. Yeah, that's what happens dude
That's my biggest fear is it really getting schizophrenic really yeah, I like freaks me out
It doesn't even run in the family, but
That sounds scary
Yeah, I think taking a hit of acid or something next thing. You know you just you know you know
You know what you're doing. Yeah
Actually, it might run in the family. I got a cousin like that you do yeah
Tough and it's a man or woman um both Yeah. I actually might run in the family. I got a cousin like that. You do? Yeah. It's tough.
And it's a man or woman?
Both.
God, yeah.
That's a thing, dude.
I would just, I don't know if I could be a man and a woman.
Do you think you could handle it?
I think I do a good job already.
I'm saying manly shit to men to flirt with them.
Huh?
Like, yeah, fucking get some tail tonight, brother!
Like, what?
Yeah, huh? Euclid's huh?
Pedroia!
Let's go Brady! Come on now!
Deflate these balls!
God.
Yeah, that's the unfortunate truth.
Who's on my Mount Rush from where I wonder?
Yeah. From where you're from Rushmore, I wonder? Yeah.
From where you're from.
From where I'm from?
I'm trying to think of my Boston one.
Oh, my Boston one would be, is it OK if I do a Boston one?
Oh, please, please.
Be my guest.
Oh, Will Hunting.
So you got him.
You got Tom Brady.
You got Dutch Smith. You got a Dutch Smith.
From, um. Bring up Dutch Smith.
This is him following an arson over the weekend.
Police say a teenager is
responsible for all that damage.
He's watched 16th Nikki cries.
Joins us live from the Central
Pennsylvania Newsroom with more tonight, Nikki.
Julie, a lot of people in Shamokan are
upset that Dunkin Donuts is closed because they
didn't have anywhere else to go for coffee and donuts.
Today, we also learned new information about the teenage girl police charged with setting
the place on fire.
Yellow tape surrounds the Dunkin Donuts on West Sunbury Street in Shimokan.
The popular donut shop is closed until further notice because of extensive fire damage
There's a lot of people that's definitely gonna miss it no doubt about it a teenager is charged with starting a fire inside
Further down they start interviewing people Oh back up
Any people who live in Shamokin are upset that Duncan doughnuts is closed now
I have to rely on myself to go to maybe a turkey hill or something where I don't like their tone
It's I read the donuts at Dunkin Donuts, and I'm kind of dealing with it, but I really miss Dunkin Donuts
I go to every day I get a chicken bacon croissant or I get some coffee power rate if I'm dehydrated
I sit there all the time if I have any like legal work that I need to do I go
My attorneys there. I'm gonna miss that place when it don't open up
My friends go in there get the cold coffee ice coffee, I guess it's called
The guy in the middle was like yeah get stayed dehydrated meet my attorney up there my boy Dutch Smith
He's on my
He's on your mother's side?
He's on my mother's side
Is he also like on your team? Like I feel like you know him
The Dunkin Donuts over there
I gotta talk to my lawyers
He's like, I gotta do some legal work
What are you gonna do? Legal work? You gotta go to Ducks
That's classic
Oh yeah, what do they call up there? Ice cold coffee? Ice coffee?
That lady like, they call it cold coffee?
He's like, he's not freaking crazy for her.
Like, oh yeah, maybe he had to dunks on 15th and 2nd, we'll get to the legal work.
We got some legal work.
That is so good.
And you know he's not studying to be a lawyer.
No. And you know he's not studying to be a lawyer. Yeah, yeah, you know, yeah, you know he's not studying to be a lawyer.
Can you do accents?
Do I do them?
Can you do accents?
Yeah.
No, I can't really do them that much.
I don't think I sometimes I wish I spent more time focusing on stuff like that.
Yeah.
What about you?
I can just do Irish.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pretty, but under pressure, it's pretty hard, but you just really have to
infidelsize the Irish really. Truly and honestly, yeah.
Truly and honestly, yeah. How are you going?
I do it a wee little bit, but here and there is a good party trick if you do it.
Oh yeah. But it's not really going to take me far in life, is it?
Yeah. Think about Charlie. That's bad. Yeah, I'm bad. if you do it. But it's not really gonna take me far in life, is it? Are you thinking about Ireland?
That's fine, yeah, I'm bad.
But I think maybe it'd be fun to work on, I guess.
I don't know.
Yeah, I think I like it.
You did a good job.
Thanks.
Have you toured in Ireland yet?
No.
You gotta wait.
You gotta wait.
I'm new ski.
Yeah, sorry.
What are we talking about?
I'm brand new.
Which is probably why I have nothing to talk about.
No, you're nothing to talk about. What's that guy?
No, you're great to talk to.
Grace O'Malley, I'm glad I've gotten
to sit and chat with you.
If you guys don't know Grace, now you probably do.
I think you have a good,
I think, did we talk about your life enough, do you think?
Yeah, sure.
Okay.
Oh, did you finish college or not?
No, I dropped out.
You did? Yeah. But by the time I dropped out of college, I had a 4.0. Um, oh did you finish college or not? No, I dropped out. You did? Yeah
But by the time I dropped out of college I had a 4.0. You did? Yeah, I found out what Adderall was
Oh, so you were using it? So I needed it. Yeah. As it turned out. The Irish needed, what are the Irish missing?
There's always that thing, you know. Uh, they're missing out on
Well, the fathers are missing out on loving their children. Yeah.
They don't know how to express it.
Oh yeah, they can't, huh?
Yeah, they can't.
Yeah, it's like...
They just get you a fucking Edelman jersey?
Yeah.
They just hope that'll equate to love.
It's good.
Yeah, why can't they do it?
Well, sharing a beer in silence, that's also supposed to be love in their eyes.
Really?
Yeah. Yeah, why do the Irish have that trouble sharing love?
Maybe, and if people listen, they can hit the hotline too
with that 985-664-9503, and that would be great to just,
I want to examine that next time we have a solo episode
is why the Irish have that trouble expressing their love.
Do you think that they have it more than other cultures?
Let's think this good to compare
The Koreans can't do it. They can't know they know
Tough is it tough love or is just no love. Well, there's a video you see that I think Steve
Look up Stevie Weeby. He just put that video of him Bobby and their mother trying to do Christmas together or something
Can you see that if you put it on his Instagram? Stevie Weeby, he just put that video up of him, Bobby and their mother trying to do Christmas together or something.
Can you see that if you put it on his Instagram?
They're Koreans, I don't think they can do it.
Bobby's the Asian representative.
Bobby is, I wanna say he, maybe.
You like it?
You like it?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Late at night and I leave Duke here by himself.
He loses his mind.
Oh, Bobby? No, Duke. that night and I leave Duke here by himself he loses his mind on no Duke
you have no snacks here I'll go hungry no six in the morning So what happened last night was I went to 7-eleven, I got a slurpee, I got the full
anchovy.
That's good.
This is like that game show, like that telephone game or whatever.
Can you see where Bobby comes in later or not?
Is there any, can you help me out?
Get further down, further, further.
Is there any part where Bobby comes in or Trivial closed captions. No, maybe not.
The mother is very endearing.
I would love to meet her.
She's probably a star that I would like to meet.
Yeah, who's up there for you?
Who haven't you met?
And who, on top of that, who was your favorite thus far?
I don't know, I got to meet Mel Gibson one time
and he was very captivating.
Yeah, that's wild.
It's very like you get drawn into him, you know?
You sit down and like shoot the shit with him?
Yep.
Yeah?
Yeah, I did get to one time, which is crazy
because Patriot's my favorite movie probably.
Was there anything else that we wanted to talk about?
You have any of our topics,
anything you want to look at really quick?
I'm just trying to think, Grace, before I let you go.
Oh wait, so your new podcast, tell me about it. Okay, so it is gonna be coming out in February. That's great
Everything is completely up in the air right now try to figure out what the hell it's gonna be
But for the most part the idea for it is the name's gonna be disgraceful and I'm gonna have
Like guests on every week and for the first 50 to 20 minutes
They're auditioning to be my new co-host
because I need a new co-host.
So that's like the niche there.
And then after that hopefully we'll shoot the shit.
I'll get to practice in a little more
and be a little better for that.
So what are you looking for in your co-host?
Do you already have a parameters?
That's the thing, it's all just a gimmick.
I'm never probably going gonna have a host.
Oh, you're not?
We'll see how it goes.
But there is possibility, though.
Possibility.
Like Alex suggested.
Alex Cooper. Alex Cooper suggested that.
From Call Her Daddy, yeah.
So I had pitched her my idea for this podcast,
and she was like, yeah, that's awesome,
but what if you did a podcast with like, Blake Griffin?
I'm like, what?
So that's the idea that she has for it. So we're gonna figure out something
Something somewhere in the middle. Yeah, something like that. Yeah, that was just like a little behind-the-scenes kind of phone call
So let's see how it goes. Will she have a say in it?
Will you have a say it will it just be is it up to you? I get final say
Yeah, so I think I think I'm gonna stick to my guns. Yeah
Yeah, I think just trust your instincts is yeah, whatever. So I think I'm gonna stick to my guns. Yeah.
Yeah, I think just trust your instincts.
Yeah, whatever your instincts are, I love them.
Thanks, right back at you.
They're fun.
Your instincts are fun to ride along with.
The Down For Anything Tour that's going on right now.
Yep, and despite everything I've said on this podcast,
it is a good show, so come on out.
Oh yeah, I believe that it is.
I almost stayed, I wanted to stay there.
I think I got nervous there were so many girls in there.
A lot of girls, yeah. It's like a slumber party.
Yeah.
And then I just, my whole time, I'm just trying to make the boyfriends laugh.
Yeah.
Because they don't want to be there.
Oh, they are.
So I like really try my best to make them laugh the most.
You know what's so funny about comedy?
A lot of times you'd be on stage and it's all dates there.
Yeah.
So not only are you the kind of,
if you're the lonely one,
if you're the one that doesn't have a boyfriend
or girlfriend, then you're also providing,
you're the entertainment, right?
They're paying for sure.
Yes.
But then they all have, and then you're like,
oh, it just builds up this,
sometimes they can build up this weird fucking resentment.
Yeah, totally.
I mean, I just did a New Year's Eve show, so everyone, three, two, one, everyone started kissing.
I'm like, I'm still on stage by myself.
It's like a double whammy fuck you.
I was like, this is nice, this is fun.
And what do you do then, is throw a couple, you throw a couple fingers in the hoo-ha?
What do you do at that point?
I just, I started, I just grabbed the bouncer just fucked him on stage there
No, I started I started shotgunning beers
Yes, I swear to God
Gracie
We're gonna fucking we're gonna send some cash away this year Gracie baby. Yeah. Yeah, we're gonna send some cacks your way this year, Gracie baby. Hell yeah.
We're gonna send you a boatload of cacks.
Yeah, fuck this year, that's for sure.
You're that mighty, it is.
And why do they say croc up there in mass?
CROC.
Yeah.
It's just, there's no way, it's not a way for a woman to talk. Yeah
Yeah, dude. I was going in I had a show out right outside of it
Not Medford. I don't know where it is. Is that right outside of the city?
Oh, I've heard yeah
And I had a show right out there and some guys walking up with his wife
They're eating a piece of pizza and he's like Dorisis. That's the guy We're gonna give him your pizza. Give me pizza and they're both eating you can tell they just got a snack
They're running over running a few minutes late. I don't give it. He's like give me a fucking piece of Doris fucking bitch
I love this guy
I don't love you
So Doris gives me her pizza, and then they go inside.
The guys just eat, and I'm like,
what the fuck you doing back there?
Oh my God.
I'm just like, what?
Yeah, that's the kind of guys up there,
is they'll throw their wives across the card
to impress their boys.
Oh yeah, yeah.
They get more about their boys, they're kind of gay for it.
Oh, they're definitely, just to get a whiff of Pedroia's fucking catches mitt
All right, I think we've had enough I think we've I think we've had a good start to the year any res anything that you're trying
To push on yourself this year. I know maybe love is in the air. That's always in the air
Yeah, anything else you're kind of like any is there a real goal that you have or something this year?
I get porked at least once.
Okay.
And then we'll go.
Getting slammed, now we talking.
We're talking, I'll take it wherever I can get it.
Whoa, hold on.
This is a Christian program.
Oh, is it now?
Yeah.
My apologies.
Sorry.
So you're right at home, go ahead. Yeah, no, and then I'm trying to cut back on drinking. I have a drinking problem.
You do?
I'm a functioning alcoholic.
Oh yeah?
Yeah, big time. So I'm trying to kick back.
Welcome.
I'm going to start with the dry January and see where that goes.
Oh, so you're going to get, you're tapping back in. So for the rest of January, you're off.
Oh yeah. I missed the first day, but what are you going to do?
That's still December in some places. Yeah, right in Holland. I think yeah, they're behind. Yeah, it's like I'm on Holland time
Fuck it. I'm on Holland time. Okay. What about you?
What about me? No, I'm gonna try to be sober all year. I think but any New Year's resolution resolutions
Yeah, I'm gonna try to be more pertinent with my time.
Mm.
Like, don't waste time in things that I know.
Like, I think with relationship stuff, don't waste, like, dating time in things that maybe don't have a chance kind of thing.
That's fair.
I don't know.
So stop dating girls with no personality?
Yeah, just if I know it's not really there, don't just kind of use the situation
just because maybe I'm lonesome or something.
Yeah.
Or just because I don't have anybody to go do,
just be like, well, just do shit by myself then.
So I'm not gonna just be by myself or whatever.
It's not all that bad.
Right.
It's not that bad.
Yeah.
Do it all the time.
And then, um.
And then.
Your nightmare is my everyday.
I don't know. And then, nightmare is my everyday
And then I don't know get out there and fuck
Do some sex maybe I don't know something else. Uh, I
Don't know. I'd like to read a little bit more. Maybe this year
You read a lot last year Not as much as I'd have liked
But just kind of want to have that slow time. Yes just your thoughts are slowed down and you're just kind of relaxing
Yeah, like my brain gets so sped up. Yeah, I can't I don't know how to slow it down
Yeah, slow it down and maybe pray pray. Yeah pray if I meet a wife or something 20 20 why that's where I'm at
There you go 20 20 why it could happen dude. Good. I like that. Welcome to come country. Oh, there you go
Then you can hang out with your other friends. Yeah
Yeah I like that welcome to come country. Oh, there you go. Then you can hang out with the other friends. Yeah Yeah
She give me pizza Doris
Grace O'Malley, thank you so much for coming Nora O'Malley. Thank you for coming too and
Cheers and blessings to you guys. Happy New Year. Happy New Year, man. Thank you very much. It was an honor, truly and honestly.
And same for me, and best of luck with Disgraceful. It comes out in February?
Yes.
Okay, on the Unwell Network.
Hell yeah.
Amen.
Hell yeah. I must be cornerstone
Oh, but when I reach that ground
I'll share this piece of mind I found
I can feel it in my bones
But it's gonna take a little