This Past Weekend - Europe | This Past Weekend #255

Episode Date: January 20, 2020

Theo recaps his tour through Europe, and responds to some listener voicemails.   Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_     ----------------------------...-------------------------------------------------------------------------------   New Merch https://theovonstore.com    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Skillshare Sign up for 2 months free at https://Skillshare.com/TheoVon   Manscaped Visit https://manscaped.com and use code THEO for 20% Off and Free Shipping   Shipstation Use code THEO at https://ShipStation.com for a free 60 day trial   ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Intro “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn   ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hit the Hotline 985-664-9503   Video Hotline Upload here: http://bit.ly/TPW_VideoHotline  -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Find Theo   Website: https://theovon.com  Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend  Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw   -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Patreon Gunt Squad   Name Aaron Rasche Adam White Alex Bmayer Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Alexa harvey Amy Love Andrew Valish Anthony Holcombe Ashley Konicki Ashley M Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Bench Dog Wood Shop Benjamin Herron Benjamin Streit Brandon Woolsey Brian meek Christopher Becking Cody Anderson Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Crystal David Christopher Dentist the menace Devin James Cornwell Dionne Enoch Dusty Baker Eric Tobey Felicity Black Gillian Neale Ginger Levesque Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary HAPIteeth J Garcia Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter James Schneider Jameson Flood Jayme Sta Jeremy Weiner Joakim Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joey Piemonte John Kutch Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan Josh Nemeyer Joy Hammonds Julie Ogden Justin Doerr Kenton call Kirk Cahill Kyle Baker Lacey Ann Lawrence Abinosa Lea Rashka Leighton Fields LJ Logan Yakemchuk Madeline Matthews Matt Nichols Meaghan Lewis Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Mona McCune Nick Roma Noah Bissell NYCWendy1 OK Passenger Shaming Qie Jenkins Ryan Hawkins Sagar Jha Scott Turnbull Sean Scott Shane Pacheco Shona MacArthur Stephen Trottier Suzanne O'Reilly Tanner Kattenhorn Tanner Marvel Taryn Feingold Theo Wren Thomas Adair Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Tito Liebowitz Todd Ekkebus Tom Cook Tom Kostya Tugzy Mills Vanessa Amaya Vince Gonsalves Vincent Gil Vlog Master William Reid Peters Yvonne Zeke HarrisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 That's it man. That's it. That's it. That's it We elevators boy We elevators We are elevators Some people stop some people never make it off the ground floor Some people they don't really have a that they don't have that that rise in them that lift You know Everybody has a buddy who's just a he's an elevator, but he's just only in the parking garage
Starting point is 00:00:36 You know, he ain't even making it to the lobby out of building But we're elevators man And some people their elevator It's uh out of service Sometimes you meet someone and I mean, they should just have a sign on them. They you know, they ain't they ain't going anywhere So
Starting point is 00:01:03 But we on the rise, baby, you know that I'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could I be so far from my Home and I was far from my home, bro. You're rope and my mind is somewhere else, but when I find it I'll patch up where it's been wrong Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves. I must be cornerstone Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this piece of mind. I found I can feel it
Starting point is 00:02:03 in my bones But it's gonna take a little time For me to set that parking brake and let myself on my Shine that light on me I Spend and tell you Shine on me
Starting point is 00:02:33 And I will find a song. I will sing it just for me And now I've been moving way too fast on a runaway train with a heavy load of my Okay, okay, okay Oh, yeah, and in the world sometimes the world you just that globe you want to slow that globe, baby Sometimes you want to slow that globe I'm back. I'm back from Europe Europe my up our up And Europe if you don't know what Europe is that's that original America Well
Starting point is 00:03:31 If you go over there some places, especially Britain United Britain kingdom I mean they change they got so many names for that place. It's wild England, Britain, Scotland, North Scotland, Wales Celtics rangers, it's dude Willie Wallace is over there And he done he done closed down a Sherwin Williams buying all the baby blue face paint And they I mean it's ah, ah Good to be back Um, and it was a it was a it was quite a journey. It was a great time. It was
Starting point is 00:04:10 I'm gonna tell you about it. What happened man. Um Yeah, dude if you don't know about Britain or um It's basically it's kind of like If say if America had like you went over to your grandparents house and they had a bunch of stuff in the attic and they got like a lot of like A like a case with a lot of fancy shit in it
Starting point is 00:04:39 Like a lot of fancy um silverwares and the special spoons Dude sometimes your grandmother will have Of like a little shiffer robe With some glass doors on it Some just straight up lying the witch in the wardrobe type of deal And inside of it she'll have 30 spoons in there That wasn't the hell is this man Is she you know, is she free basin is she
Starting point is 00:05:08 You know cooking up that smack it what's going on grandma And that is a little bit like Britain it it's kind of like your grandparents house They got a lot of fancy old stuff um They have Just like a lot of like you'll see a guy walking by he'll have on chain mail You know, he'll have a scroll he'll have something from You don't even know how long ago it's from
Starting point is 00:05:37 You know, you'll see somebody they're eating food You know, they're they're having like a 400 year olds aged uh steak Like dang man that steak. What is that? Is that triceratop? What is that? You don't they it's just It's yeah, it's like going to Your grandparents they got all the old they got a picture of a dude on the ball with a sword Like who is that? You know Jerry sword
Starting point is 00:06:10 Who is that fucking pokey harness, bro? Who is it? That dude's got that thigh needle, bro. He have that that sword right there Ready to take somebody's eye out or whatever do a Shiskabab do the onion and the meat But man, I had a great time. I'm going to take you through a little bit of The journey uh Of the journey, um Yeah, let me start off. We'll start off with you know where it was
Starting point is 00:06:43 London London Britain And that's a little bit of british theme music right there And as you can tell from the music the theme is Nap time probably Britain okay Uh, we started off went over to Manchester and
Starting point is 00:07:26 I don't know who this manchester is, bro, but he He is pretty much A lot of the in britain they're like more you you know me You know everybody the real kind of Well, first of all man britain England has some of and I say this with love. I really do because I thought a lot about it England
Starting point is 00:08:00 Obtained somehow some of the worst-looking women I've ever seen in my life man, dude, I look I love and Man, it's hurt it hurts me to say it But some of the women you're like dude, no wonder they I if I if those were the women I had to be around Visually I would go around and Enslave the rest of the world
Starting point is 00:08:31 They need a couple of bad batches Shipped in over there It just uh Yeah, you'll I mean they just dang some of the women you're like oh dang you a woman Oh man I think that's the real reason if if if we could dig up a couple of these pilgrims and do a seance on them You know put that weegee on them, bro Throw a couple of magic rocks on their back or whatever or smoke a bowl out of their skull and get their ideas
Starting point is 00:09:10 We would know for a fact that the real reason That the pilgrims left England Whenever it was 1300 whatever a thousand whatever was because they heard there was some tan bitches over there in North America Some of those land bitches, bro. You know what I'm saying? some of those
Starting point is 00:09:41 Outdoor biatches, you know what I'm talking about Indians dude native americans because the women they just uh They god, bro. I would start a war with somebody too if those were the women I had I'd start a war I'd go warring for women I'd roll a cannon down at a fricking straight over to the To the females in a different country
Starting point is 00:10:13 And I'd fight anybody that wanted me to not have those women because These ladies some of them They're just I can't even they just They look kind of I don't know and then in britain the people a lot of them real and look thank you guys Thank you guys for coming out manchester you guys showed out um And this was now this I started in manchester, bro and so
Starting point is 00:10:43 And manchester, I don't even know how the place got started probably this man You know he just said hey I must chill right here if y'all want to be here with me and everybody was like All right, chester, bro. We'll do it so But yeah, the women bro. They just little they're all real kind of little And their legs they don't have All their whole body seemed to look like a butt
Starting point is 00:11:15 Their whole body seemed like a little like a like a kind of a like a strong little butt Like a little um Like imagine if somebody had butt all over their body You know they just covered up in that fricking cheek meat You know when they walk you'd be like even when they wave at you to see that ass shake a little bit on their forearm everywhere They smile him like dang they got that smiling ass meat face Kinda and that's you know how it was they just That's what it was like over there
Starting point is 00:11:57 and And in england a lot people are just kind of like mom. I mean y'all And everybody I call them the white japanese man because The british they're very traditional okay, you have ton of tradition you have a lot of I think kind of inner turmoil
Starting point is 00:12:26 and like inner kind of pain and um There's a lot of like family name honor And they kind of keep things chill until they get drunk and then they lose that absolutely lose their shit and they turn red And basically that's the jet. That's the white japanese very
Starting point is 00:12:53 To me they have that they had that white japanesey kind of feel Like I bet at night secretly a lot of british people put on karate suits Because they know in their heart and deep down in their bone marrow where They are really from and they are the white japan Um And everything is pudding. That's what they have for I don't know what it is
Starting point is 00:13:26 I don't know what it is. You want the pudding? pudding pudding man blood pudding pudding out of pudding pudding Hey mister mister pudding And some of the ladies look like they had about 7 000 servings of pudding dude And they just look like a pudding in a boot
Starting point is 00:13:48 I mean Oh, man, I feel so ice cold and look I'll say this I knew that the women were a good look and when I was getting hit on I was probably one of the I would say 7 000 best-looking women in england when I was there bro gang dog gang But with that said man, uh Yeah, we got to manta and it just was you know really glum. There's a lot of like
Starting point is 00:14:21 Like eeyore is probably from there from the pattington winnie the pooh, you know, where's my tail? that guy You know probably that some folk all their fling blade When they Kaiser blade that dude sling blade probably would be the mayor over there Because it's got that real Ambien knots, you know, it don't have much ambiance. It's got that ambien knots Like ambience is like And that was the start we started off in Manchester, but the shows were good the show it was
Starting point is 00:14:56 You know it's the starter When i'm starting something up, it's you know, it's like You know to go somewhere and you get off the jet and the plane and the people and you got to do it You're like damn. I got to do it still um But the crowd was real nice supportive and uh And I didn't change much material. I would kind of try and talk about the area a little But since I just got there in Manchester, there wasn't anything to discuss yet because I was fresh to the gate
Starting point is 00:15:30 And I was fresh to the gate, bro Like that freaking lettuce dog um, and then uh, we went to Hold on. I know where we went to Ireland And that's some irish music right there and that is from a group called rune dale rune dale And ireland showed out. This was I think a monday night in Dublin. We had two shows and a
Starting point is 00:16:19 uh The irish I got this jacket I got this soft jacket from there from trinity college And we went into trinity college in Dublin And they have the oldest library This is like where hogwarts Keeps its hogs, you know this thing old
Starting point is 00:16:44 I mean some of the books you open it up doing your great-grandfathers in there You know washing his legs in a bucket Like damn this thing old Do you open one book in uh st. Peter's in there reading an even older book? Like damn Hmm Dude opened up one book bro. It had time in it
Starting point is 00:17:08 You know time bro from the beginning of time It's just falling out Dewey decimal was there He was there man. He had hurt his leg, but he was there And we went into this library and it's the oldest library. I think in Like in earth In playing in earth. They haven't found anything else. That's older And it's priceless. They said the value of the books in there are priceless
Starting point is 00:17:37 trinity college the library's at And you can even go and check the books out I mean if you I'm sure if something happens to one of them you're You know, you're gonna work there for the rest of your life, but you could go check it out But what happened? Yeah, people came out in ireland brought. Oh a dude a guy brought me some great art Uh It's all it's like great and not great, you know, it's kind of This young artist bro McCloskey is the boy's name
Starting point is 00:18:09 And Yeah, and yeah, I mean it just Once you go from england ireland you get a bit more The tradition's a little bit different the tradition gets a little more I would say alcoholic You know people's just um, you know, they just feel they just They I don't know there's a lot more. It's just more whimsical
Starting point is 00:18:38 You know, you'll see a dude just walk, you know wash using a nice bar of soap over there like in a puddle you're like, all right And they're tough people there too the real you see a baby. I saw a baby getting pushed in a little carriage, bro You know and he and it was windy. I mean they probably had 30 mile per hour winds just right on the street and this baby's whole head just Just really chill. He could you could tell he was He was just toughening it out though. That's the irish, bro They tough it out
Starting point is 00:19:12 This baby had a little russet in his jaw, bro You know, he had a fucking half a kilo of potad in his cheek And he was just tatering against the cold just And his mom is just pushing him You could tell this baby he was gonna You know, he nothing would stop him for the rest of his life because he was He was dealing with it all right now I mean when you 11 months old and you going straight face-to-face against 30 mile per hour winds
Starting point is 00:19:48 I don't even think the baby had a damn hat on or anything. He had a diaper. He had a very strong diaper And and the baby honestly might have had a tattoo man the irish are wild And they're real pale too So I mean, I'm kind of you know, I'm racist, but I ain't fucking irish racist, dude Those do as soon as you see them. You're like, damn, I'm white, but I ain't this white, bro Dude, they really they whitened it up um
Starting point is 00:20:24 What else yeah, but that baby you'll see the mom will just if the baby gets too he can't handle the the the the Elements the mother you'll see them the mother lick his cheeks and wetting them up You know, we're just lick his eyes shut real quick but let the baby get some rest But in Dublin, man, the people were great uh And it was just a lot of like kind of stop and go was like you go you get to the place you get some food you get It and then and then you get moving and then you get going to the next place Um, oh, I saw Prince Harry and Meghan they left
Starting point is 00:21:05 And if you don't know about it, then you can know about it right now Prince Harry and Meghan left and uh That's so wild if I was a prince Would I just they gave up the titles kind of Move and they moved to Canada and America That ain't really rough in it Do you want to rough it give up the titles move to uh, Serbia? and Montenegro dog you know
Starting point is 00:21:38 You want to rough it move to? um You know st. Louis and Afghanistan You know, but giving up the titles would you give up the titles? The titles are kind of old-fashioned, I guess I mean, I think that some of the thing is crazy. I mean, I don't know I don't know man. I got a lot of school. Sometimes I wish we had a king
Starting point is 00:22:10 You know, I wish we just voted and we just had this kind of strange dude wandering around in a building somewhere You know in practice and jousting and shit like that and doing thumbs up or thumbs down Every time a new uh bad boys movie comes out So you know if you have to see it or not And then they you know But yeah, they're giving up the titles man, if I was a prince would I give that up? But Harry was the wild Harry was always the wild one. He was in the military. He seems like the cool cat You know, he had his wiener out in Vegas. Dude. That's a regular guy
Starting point is 00:22:47 I mean hell he could be president next, you know In two terms it makes you kind of The lady they got the baby Yeah, I'm saying if you're gonna give up the titles, you know They're gonna still be I think they kind of just didn't want to live at the house. That's what it sounds like They wanted to get out of London. They wanted to get into maybe something just more of an adventure kind of And plus his brother Charlie is the Yeah, Harry's the Duke I think yeah, the other boys that were gonna be the king
Starting point is 00:23:29 Yeah, the other boys that were gonna be the king, dude if my brother's gonna be the king, bro Fuck you guarantee. I'll be out fishing dude dang, bro I ain't just gonna hang out at the house and watch my brother be king Come on boy Dude, I'll grow my arms out and be out there chasing You know or I would um Dude if my brother's the king I would be up to no good I would get some neck tattoos and probably get a Dodge Charger
Starting point is 00:24:07 And drive past the middle score the or the senior the high school even though I'm too old to be there And floor it and make the ladies hot, bro Let the ladies get that damp canal, bro. Let them tighten up when they see daddy roll by If I was like Young I'm not talking about now. I'm saying if I was a young I don't know what I'm talking about But I'll tell you it is I'm happy to be home and I'm happy to have been there. Thank you very much England
Starting point is 00:24:40 For the support and for coming out dude. It was crazy to go to a place Uh And to have people come out I'm going to get right back into more of it. First. I got to tell you That if you sell stuff online You know if you sell things you're probably still recovering from the holiday shopping season Well, I have a way to help you in 2020 and help make things less crazy and more successful
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Starting point is 00:25:50 Get this year off to a great start at ship station dot com And use the code theo to get a 60 day free trial That's two months free of no hassle stress free shipping Just visit ship station dot com click on the microphone at the top of the page and type in theo That's ship station dot com enter offer code theo make ship happen We had a call that came in Um, and I want to drop it on you right here gang
Starting point is 00:26:26 Oh, hey, theo, it's rebecca from london in england. Uh yesterday Thank you for calling rebecca. It's very nice to hear you call cheers me cheers miss mom. All right Sorry for practicing my English Onward Me and my boyfriend came to see your daytime Saturday show At the shepherd's bush empire and we loved it Thank you very much. That's really uh, that's nice to hear you saying you got a beautiful accent too
Starting point is 00:26:59 That accent out is Now on the women that sounds nice and you sound really really you sound beautiful onward. It was amazing. We had a really good time um We wanted to check something out with you though as you were walking off stage outside We saw we saw you shake your head and now this could have been out of triumph or perhaps there was somebody Waiting in the sidelines that you're happy to see but maybe you were disappointed in something. We don't know but um We wanted to find out what you thought about the show about your reflections were general how yourself
Starting point is 00:27:38 The london fans differ from your u.s fans Uh anything really We uh also taken a couple of 15 milligram hitters just before so we could have got this totally wrong and the Sorry if we did look we were sitting at the back of level one and everyone around us was having a good time We were having a good time. Please keep doing what you're doing We love you gang gang Gang gang madam. Uh, wow, what a sweet call And even just hearing your voice just reminds me suddenly it takes me right back to being in england
Starting point is 00:28:11 And i'm sorry. I'm sure you are a beautiful lady and and now I feel horrible about saying that about Some of the women uh, but um You know, you're right actually the afternoon show in london and i hadn't talked about london yet london was a different experience than manchester. london is very bustling um, it's it's very um Divert you have a lot of different, uh
Starting point is 00:28:41 It just feels more worldly. It's huge also Every building i'm like is that the buckingham palace and people are like nah, dude Uh You know that's a wendy's Like dang bruh. Well wendy's living Largay out here papa You know what i'm saying, dude, obviously she moved on from that little uh Uh, you know, she was being a probably a call girl for old dav thomas and she moved on and got herself a nice spot out here
Starting point is 00:29:15 Um, you know, you're right though. I was in london and the afternoon show was tough It was just like I felt like it started off good and then I felt like it just I don't know got a little tough And so at the end I just I wasn't happy I was not happy with myself on the way offstage and it's so funny I do remember looking at arie because he's always standing offstage when I get off and uh and just shaking my head like dang So you're right. You're right about that. Um But i'm glad that you liked it. I'm glad to hear that that feedback. You know, that's my brain
Starting point is 00:29:54 You know, I have the brain That doesn't let me Be it always finds something to not be You know, it chooses not to be proud of me instead instead it chooses to give me these other options first Um But i'm also a perfectionist. I want it to be great You know, I appreciate everybody who came out even though I canceled on you guys or adjusted chris dillia cancels bro and that's
Starting point is 00:30:25 Can I believe that weather remember when he canceled because of weather dude? Wind bro wind Dude wind is not anybody dude. You could cut a fan on right now and cancel a show but That being said, um Yeah, it was just that was a tough one that afternoon. I think it's just the afternoon dude. Nobody want Fuck it. It's hard to do it in the afternoon. It's hard to to to to to pretend like 3 45 in the afternoon is 8 30 at night
Starting point is 00:31:00 And that show I even did more material than usual. Um And just tried to give you guys all I had Uh, but that venue was hectic. They weren't um They weren't allowing me to do meeting greets there. So that was a tough thing. It was What was the issue? Oh two of the shows we couldn't because of the time and so I don't know. I guess I felt like it would have been unfair. Um But it but london was cool man
Starting point is 00:31:31 We went down I had a friend one of my friends kevin came and visited me over in london Just friends nothing wild or nothing like that Not that there's anything wrong with being wild if you were a gay man That's great dude. Good for you. You know, you did it You know, because anyway, a lot of these bitches are driving a lot of us crazy. So I'm glad you got you know, you found something you like And And then look it's it's scary. Sometimes you wonder you go to another continent. Are you going to be a gay man there? Because I don't know the exchange rate on sexuality who does
Starting point is 00:32:10 You know, you could fucking you could fly to Nigeria and you know, you wake up you a damn You know, you a five three redhead and a gang bang it just you don't We don't know sometimes how it's going to shape out but But I would be shocked if I was gay man. I would be I would be extremely surprised, bro I'm
Starting point is 00:32:39 If I was gay, bro, I would be like, are you sure? because I would just it would really I would be extremely surprised But that's so perceptive of you, especially after you was only 15 milli hitters You and your man out there and I hope y'all was touching each other's bodies a little Because one thing I miss about getting high is just touching my body or touching somebody else's body female body tit God, bro Makes you feel excited, huh?
Starting point is 00:33:11 um But yeah, that was a show. I had a tough time with that one and there was one other one Was it in Oslo Oslo, I felt like was kind of tough, but we'll get there. We're still making our way Uh, we're making our way across. But yeah, London was the other one London is just yeah, you go out at night. It's very posh And that means fancy You know, you'll see a guy some guy dressed up like Ichabod, uh crane And then you'll see somebody else fucking
Starting point is 00:33:47 You know dressed up like, um Like JC penny or somebody, you know, just it's really You know like Donnie Nordstrom or something Or fucking Sandra Marshalls. They got everybody's just fancy You'll see a dude wearing a damn train track or something You'll see a guy wearing, uh He's got a jacket made out of fucking worms You know 14 karat gold actual worms
Starting point is 00:34:20 You're like dang that's what's going on You know, I'll go fishing with that jacket, I'll catch a big I'll catch Moby Dick On a 6,000 pound test line, bro. I'm going in I'm going in Um What else happened in London? That's it That's it that I really remember You know, it does you you also start to remember where time started and everything and where
Starting point is 00:34:50 You know, we're basically where white time started You like, you know, you're in the UK and you see people from You know Ireland and you're like, oh, okay the name Megan, you know, you hear the name somebody's like, oh, this is Megan You're like, oh I know now I see where Megan started where the name came from Or you'll hear, um You know, uh
Starting point is 00:35:17 Uh Cara, you're like, oh, okay Cara. We say Cara, but I see this is where Or maybe that's just the accent. I don't know But there were things you're like, oh, okay. I see how this we're doing this in America, but it started here You know, it's just like going to your grandparents house and seeing The pictures on the wall, you're like, oh, okay. That's where I'm came from. Oh, yeah, I remember uncle Ronnie Yeah, I remember him. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He had two wooden arms, bro And he used to fucking play the drums, dude Of course he did
Starting point is 00:35:54 But you're like, yeah, yeah, I remember And everything is like a artifact everything is historical Um And they got beef, dude United Kingdom But it should be like, yeah United Because they got they beefing man
Starting point is 00:36:18 Britain's brexitting um The other uh Scotland is divvied up and they got north scotland or north eye somebody got fucked They're trying to get their own shit the scottish You know Ireland they're partying, bro. Dude, Ireland man. Those people are some happy people There's some happy people man, um And the band played on brother and we moved on and I didn't know what to talk to people about over there
Starting point is 00:36:51 So, you know me I'm talking about shit. The only things I know Revolutionary war titanic So that was the toughest part about being in the united kingdom Was just some of the conversation and charles dickens Or chuck dick a lot of people called him when I was growing up And chuck dick was also a uh Pedia file about two towns over
Starting point is 00:37:20 Over from sly dell Louisiana And I never met him, but I heard about him, bro Uh One of the more popular pedia files when I was young But All right, let's move on. We got into some other places and some other music and the next place we went to was Scotland Glasgow Oh
Starting point is 00:38:07 And that is some scottish music right there by a band Trabant 33 Trabant 33 with that hit right there um Okay, you get to glas go and it's uh It's a lot of hills And it's raining And it's about
Starting point is 00:38:29 55 degrees Fahrenheit And it's raining Even when it's not right If it's not raining a lot people call that sunshine Like it would just be raining a little and people like oh man, it's beautiful. We're having a wedding today. I'm like, what? You're in a wedding out here You can have a half inch of rain You're gonna have a half inch of rain at the nuptials, brother
Starting point is 00:38:57 God my heart is beautiful And the accent god if in britain it was like And then in ireland it was like And then you got to glasgo and people wasn't even One guy just talked in all just uh L's and K's men You're the mayor Um, but the people of glasgo, man, right when you're looking their eyes, they're beautiful They're good people man. They're good people in there. They have cigarettes even for breakfast
Starting point is 00:39:47 You see a six year old over there banging out a You know a door owl You know where you're fucking you'll slip, you know, you'll reach up the sleeve of a nine year old girl And she'll have two winstons in there And a thing of cinnamon gum Like damn, all right They're staying warm out here
Starting point is 00:40:11 And in glasgo, you would a lot of the men if you were out and about at night the men get real close You think all the men are gay But it's just because they're friendly You see nine dudes hugging each other around the neck and you're like dang everybody's loves men here's me, you know The women they never gonna have any You know little chickadees because the men are just You know just loving each other, but it's just friendship It is just friendship, but you can't tell because they're just such mates. They call it mates
Starting point is 00:40:50 And checkmate that's when you either playing chess or you actually are fully on You know, you full-on homosexual And that's beautiful, man. Isn't everything is great about that if you're home sexual, bro Then you did it You know so that's great Um, but yeah, the Scottish man. It was great. We went out in glasgo. I put a video of it on my instagram And it was just electric it was electric and then hung out in glasgo for two days Oh
Starting point is 00:41:27 And yeah, just kind of dreary rainy He stated a nice place there though is a nice nice this hotel we stayed in And the people of glasgo man just walking up and downhill just you know, just getting it done Eating haggis and I think that's basically to I don't want to say it's I think haggis is like the stomach or m It's like the damn whatever connects your stomach to your nuts, bro
Starting point is 00:41:56 Uh, that's what it is and it's Scottish and they They eat it. So no wonder they drink. I'd drink too if I ate that If I had a plug in half, you know, if I had two panfuls of somebody else's nuts I'm having a micolob light, bro. No doubt about it Um And yeah, I heard they had a lot of cocaine and Scotland. I didn't have any but That was like a popular export that I heard about I think a particular specific
Starting point is 00:42:30 I mean that was just it that was the uk it was a lot of It I mean, it was just great. It was just a lot of go go go People think oh, did you travel? Did you get on a camel? Did you do anything? man, I didn't By the time you get off stage at night, there's no places open to eat You got to find a spot to eat and next thing you know, it's 1 a.m And you got to get up early and cruise And so that was just the vibe it was a lot of go go go
Starting point is 00:43:00 But thank you guys so much over there for coming out in the uk and Man, I'll say this everybody. Oh, uh, big this dude ginger monkey came out The biggest dude I ever seen and his buddies had him he could eat a banana without even using his uh hands He could peel it right out of there with his teeth and everything And his buddies kept having him do it the dude probably had Fucking nine bananas after the show And I was like, yeah, put him in the zoo, bro. Do whatever you got to do. I think the guy could be Homo erotic
Starting point is 00:43:38 You know, this guy could be the mayor of west hollywood in probably 45 minutes All he need is one good youtube video But that was that man, uh Yeah, what a lot of for the breakfast they had a lot of like meats Like you somebody give you a cut, you know, nine little cuts of uh a beat for breakfast like what in the hell is You know, every meal seemed like you were at like you were in the military Like a little pot of beans and a little Some hard piece of bread and uh, like what is this like?
Starting point is 00:44:17 Like oh, it's it's uh, it's the uk mate And that was more in britain, but But the people were great man across the board over there and I love you guys and thank you so much for coming out uh and just Making me feel welcome even after I couldn't make it in the first time in september Um Yeah And uh, here let's take a call. We'll take a call that came in and then we'll get to some other things
Starting point is 00:44:45 But yeah, you were right about that young lady. I was I was shaking my head after that show and For some reason the afternoon was tough. I never did a show in there I never did it even in that evening or the afternoon deal I never did it and now I did it. So let's take this hitter right here gang Dude, this is Kyle from Texas. I was just calling because I knew you were going to be in europe this week And uh, I just wanted to see if you tried those cheddar and onion chips and doubling me and my wife one time we got to go there and uh The bartender suggested these things and they were so good man
Starting point is 00:45:24 I don't even remember who made some but cheddar and onion potato chips. You know, you got to try them, dude And if you do Tell me what you're talking about. Oh man. I love you gang gang gang brother. Yeah. Thank you for calling I didn't I didn't I just got the message today from you. But I didn't I don't know if I had the chips or not I don't remember what I had. I had some eggs. I remember And they got some birds over there. Yeah, they you know, they're taking eggs off of old school birds out of a ostrich Out of a damn stork. You're like, oh shit You know, they got eggs out the bible over there. They got old school food over there
Starting point is 00:46:04 Um And they give you a little pot of beans with everything. Oh, you can't read. Here's a pot of beans Oh, your cousin lost his limb out there in a fire Here's a pot of beans for you. Oh, you never seen breaking bad Here's a pot of beans mine What would you know what you're doing? What do you need? Yeah, the British is like everybody's keeping a secret but nobody will tell you it's almost like you're out of funeral But nobody will tell you who died
Starting point is 00:46:32 That's the vibe I got like this kind of sullen sort of Like everybody was playing a game of clue, but no one ever even opened the board the box so You're like where who's colonel mustard everybody. It's just I don't know um but you know I think everything's cool between us and them
Starting point is 00:46:58 I think overall everything's cool. Nobody nobody One girl at a bar got offended That we were from america And I don't know what she was upset about but this Honestly, bro. If she got upset because we're from america She got she got she was upset before that her parents were probably both upset whenever they were making love to make her so
Starting point is 00:47:22 gang man, um And then the next place we went to was Amsterdam And before I tell you about it I have to tell you that I have been taking care of my crotch And if you listen real close you can't hear a lot of wind going past my crotch because
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Starting point is 00:49:38 Amsterdam And that is a hit from Amsterdam High six is the name of that band Hysysys With that regional hit called made in Amsterdam And that's a strong you could feel the beat in there you can feel the undertones and the The different overtones as well Amsterdam the Dutch baby
Starting point is 00:50:31 the Dutch By far some of the most aerodynamic people you'll ever see I mean they're the Dutch are downhill. They're downhill individuals They will they are in motion I am D. Baby the in motion dutch You you don't see a lot of still dutch Name 70 still dutch Nobody can brother. Okay, they're in motion doesn't matter. They're on a tram. They're on roller skates
Starting point is 00:51:02 Uh, they're selling a magic carpet and riding on it at the same time the dutch are doing things If you don't have any missiles fill you a frickin dutch buddy's mouth up with gunpowder And send him on his way, bro. He'll get the job done They are movers, uh Tell someone in Amsterdam to keep a secret no problem They're they will never stop long enough to even share what you told them I mean everywhere you go in Amsterdam. They're just
Starting point is 00:51:34 On a train on a bike on a boat on a bird on a rumor on a breeze The dutch are coming and going I saw a dude pass by on a falcon putting on skis And worried he was going to be late Uh for a regional avalanche They are on the move Where are you going brother? Oh, there's a ship. You know, there's a unicycle. There's a bicycle Doxy cycling
Starting point is 00:52:19 Rocky Johnson. I'm catching him. He's headed to heaven Um, yeah, gotta catch the five train man to a canoe to a uber pool That actually drains into a real pool and it's a whirlpool and then I'm meeting Your and van der salute and hopefully the bermuda triangle will still be open because We got to be there. I can't believe they let people get high there. Okay. There's way too many moving parts It's almost like trying to smoke a blunt in the middle of a game of tetris on difficult
Starting point is 00:52:57 I mean, I can't be in high there just everywhere. There's just it'd be like being high in a Like a in a conveyor belt factory bruh Nah, I found Nah Maybe, you know catch me. I'll be in the hammock area but Amsterdam
Starting point is 00:53:19 They the dutch man. I'm sad. I'm telling you They're aerodynamic for a reason Because they're on the move and look if you see if you see a dutch person. This is how you see them That's a dutch Oh, what's oh, what's that? Oh, that's a dutch Whoa, dang. Oh Man, what was oh a dutch? Oh
Starting point is 00:53:48 Oh, what was that? Oh dang What's that? Oh, is that hail? Nah, that's a batch of dutch son The dutch are coming and going they're in motion. Whoa Somebody just pulled the floor out from under me. No, that's a shift son. That's plate tectonic dutch Beautiful city beautiful people, but you got to be ready to move To move Everything's in you know, even the cows there they running bruh. They're not grazing. They'll You'll see a cow jump over the moon
Starting point is 00:54:37 Dude and do it a couple times that day that everything there On the go You get a steak at night. There's no meat on it. This cow. Damn. Who's this carol lewis This thing ran right out of his own meat And the steak be like a damn nugget bruh Like a beef nugget. You could throw it up in the air And that's nothing bruh, you know, you got a mouth full of uh, Ampster steak
Starting point is 00:55:06 Stay dutch, baby Stay dutch All right, let's take another call that came into the hotline What's up, deal a quick question for you. What do you what are your thoughts on the candle that like when a caltro Brought out that supposedly smells like her the gene Oh Um
Starting point is 00:55:34 Yeah, look Here's the thing If we can sell the candle Then at a certain point You're gonna you I think you're gonna have to legalize prostitution Because here's the thing you put that in your window some guy stops by You know some guy climbs in your window with an erection Yeah, he's not in the right but
Starting point is 00:56:05 You know, we're creatures And we have senses, you know, we have up to five senses and um You can't You know, you can't say you selling whale meat and I get there And they ain't got no fucking blubber in the cupboard. You feel me? If you put two titties on the sign and I show up for uh, let me think some titty You can't get all pissed So that's the thing you throw a couple of uh, vagandals out there
Starting point is 00:56:47 And somebody shows up Wanting a little bit of serve and a little bit of service and a little bit of service and a little bit of service I'm wanting a little bit of serving of uh, you know cooter cat You can't don't be shocked You know Don't be shocked don't be shocked if an obgyn shows up at your door With some uh, you know tongs or whatever. I don't know what they even use Probably not. I mean something
Starting point is 00:57:23 Just don't be shocked You know, you got a vagandal or you light a vaganter in your yard Don't be shocked when a couple of uh dobermans and heat show up You know or a couple of um You know, maybe a local soccer team they're running doing doing laps around the block And they be lying over and bring a couple of freaking Everybody's got their own goalpost. Do you know what I'm saying? You know, what's next they're gonna have probably vagina might
Starting point is 00:57:57 People aren't sure, you know, somebody lights that and throws it somewhere And everybody thinks that some local lady Ruined everything You know and then next thing it's a vajisles, bro You know the militaries they shooting vajisles over there into the middle east And then things land And they already hate women, but now their noses are gonna make them think they have reason to You know, they're you know
Starting point is 00:58:28 The vajisles that's going to be left in the air is going to tell them that they are Vaj justified and that's enough vuh words Uh, I think But yeah, I don't know when does it stop I think Gwyneth didn't think of this through So but thank you for the call brother. I appreciate that All right, let me tell you one more thing that I need to tell you right now and that is about skill share
Starting point is 00:58:56 It's the time of year Where you need to look real hard into the mirror. Are you happy with where you are? I don't know if I am I don't think I am Did you make the right choices with your life? Are you the person you want to be I mean dang these are some real hard questions But The answer really is simple and that is skill share Make 2020 a year where you explore new skills
Starting point is 00:59:27 Deepen existing passions and get lost in creativity with skill shares online classes What you find might just surprise and inspire you personally. I'm taking Simon Sinek's how to share ideas that inspire action Because it's important if you're trying to communicate with somebody You want to do it well You don't want to be talking to somebody about architecture and then they You know next thing you know, they don't know how to you know, they try to make a pizza. You're like, what?
Starting point is 00:59:56 You know, they try to order a pizza or something from Hot wings or whatever. Anyway skill share offers classes designed for real life So you can move your creative journey forward without putting life on hold You can learn and grow with short classes that fit your busy routine Film and video music and video production productivity and finance and more Skill share is also incredibly affordable Especially when compared to pricey in-person classes and workshops an annual subscription is less than $10 a month
Starting point is 01:00:32 Unlimited unlimited capabilities at the touch of your fingertips or that can be at the touch of the fingertips of someone who has fingertips that need skills Explore your creativity at skillshare.com slash Theo Vaughn and get two free months of premium membership That's two months free at skillshare.com slash Theo Vaughn Get skills And thank you for supporting this past weekend
Starting point is 01:01:00 Thank you guys all for your support It's just uh It's nice. I'm a lucky man um And just that's one thing I noticed after the show is going over there In europe was just the same It's the same people that come out to the shows the value of just just
Starting point is 01:01:23 loving good people um That were podcast listeners You know the stand-ups a different thing. I love stand-up is my job. I mean, but you know podcasting has become of universe for me has become um For us, you know, it's just the amount of people that I meet that are just so supportive of me Man, thank you
Starting point is 01:01:50 You know, it means a lot to to have somebody care. It means a lot And And just the fact that you know that my higher power has given me people that care on such a level where I get to meet so many of them It really just inspires me a lot Um, you know what inspires me a lot not to give up on things when I want to so Uh Yeah, I just feel pretty blessed and and I hope that you can feel that too sometimes
Starting point is 01:02:30 Um And I hope to be able to do whatever I can to be a part of making your life feel good Uh And most of the time it does a lot of times, you know, I think we We're we're we're thinking too much And you guys remind me that a lot of people saying hey me just being too hard on yourself and this and that Um But just also there's so many fun people man. We came out we showed out man
Starting point is 01:02:57 I'm thinking of somebody that came to one of the shows This gentleman came to the show down there in uh, lafayette. Let's take a peek Put up feo's miss your boy jeb and val dosta georgia. Um Actually came and saw what's up jeb over there in val dosta And val dosta I mean, that's a place that Val dosta georgia something he could get a damn biscuit there. That's That'll make you freaking by land locally. That's how good it is. I bet gang onward
Starting point is 01:03:34 Saw your show and lafayette and I showed you a picture of the little camper 1964 model camper I was staying then over there and my girlfriend wasn't having it but Oh, yes Let we got a um, I'm gonna get this and I'm gonna put it in here. Yes, dude Uh onward She had to stay there because we had to go to you and uh, you told me to send it to the instagram So I figured I'd send the video uploaded a video for premature nick to get to you so
Starting point is 01:04:03 There's a nice little video of it to the cool little place. We actually stayed in it two nights and uh I think she she enjoyed it more. She said she did but uh, okay. He's talking about sex right there onward Yeah, she enjoyed the show. She's always given me a fit about watching new podcasts all the time, but funny thing is she posted Um on the ride home. She posted a video or a picture saying that she had become a fan of the ovan and uh That she thoroughly enjoyed the show. So you got a new fan out of that and she got me the coffee mug This past weekend coffee mug. Oh nice Christmas. But I was having a good new year and having fun over there in Europe, brother. Love you Love you too, man. Thanks, bro Man, it's so nice of you, dude. That's nice of you to come out. Yeah, I'm gonna um, we're gonna edit that video in
Starting point is 01:04:55 Uh, I'm gonna peek at it in a second, but thank you man. Thank you and thank you for bringing out your lady She sounds like a nice lady and I'm glad that you guys went somewhere and had fun. Let's look at this picture at this joint. Yes, bro If you guys are on youtube, you can see what's going on here and this is a very limited style Cuba Kyle right here they got This that pink and white that two tone You got her a picture of eyes on the back And the eyes are like the eyes that every kid draws when they're like in kindergarten. Who's not going to be a good artist
Starting point is 01:05:32 Or like second grade. There's always kids who are going to be a good artist and they draw like a damn, you know Mon and Lisa and then the rest of us draw a damn fucking shotgun Sally out there With two eyes and it's all it's all we could do in the eyebrows and then we kind of give up a little bit in the nose and mouth Look bad But yeah, this man look at this pictures right here. Let's see. Oh, there we are right there We're dusting the diamond Poirier right there Man, what a great night that was Man, we raised some money for good fight foundation
Starting point is 01:06:06 And we did all that together man. That was cool You know and there's part of me sometimes even when I was doing the fundraising and then uh That doesn't want to be sharing that doesn't want to be caring man You know that wants to be that just I don't know That's the dark arts, bro But then I see this picture man. It makes me feel good. Look you and your girl smiling beautiful lady Both of y'all looking fucking Fine as fuck really, bro
Starting point is 01:06:40 Oh damn, there's me right there Kissing a lady on the cheek. Oh, hold on. We got okay a text to that came in. Uh, this is um Camper guy. He sent it in. What's up, Nick? Here are the pictures and videos in 1964 camper I didn't have a pic of the tarp on top in the air bnb listing damn air bnb And here's a pic of Theo kissing my lady and staring me in the eye, bro. You know what I'm saying That's how we do it boy The chickens weren't in the listing either, but they were a nice addition the dude that owned it also had cocktail hour every night Bet he did and played his homemade accordion on the front porch and nick said we have a video of that here
Starting point is 01:07:22 Let's see that action jackson. Oh, okay. Here's the cottage right here We're going front of maryland Monroe unit Oh, hell yeah, she's got indoors and outdoors, huh? Oh, that's beautiful Oh, the tires are flat. Yeah, you can't you ain't gonna roll anywhere dude the dutch would hate it The dutch would hate it. Let's see if we got that music. Here's a hit of the music that the man did Dude, this might have to be one of the best air bnb listings ever and that's that a katie in that's that That's that uh bootleg zydeco. That's that cement zydeco right there
Starting point is 01:08:11 Because it's got a little bit of spanish moss in the pipes, but he's also It sounds a little bit urban right there, bro. One more hit of that Wow, that has a very scottish vibe too, man The scottish are basically like louisiana in uh, england. That's what it's like Just a lot of good people man in the irish everybody's good, but I'm just saying you get over to scottlin You have somebody who have a cigarette for breakfast, bro You know what you have for breakfast? Oh, I had nine derals, baby You know what I'm saying on the easter egg people, you know, they real religious around there
Starting point is 01:08:53 You'll have somebody do they grilling up they got peanut butter sandwich, but both ends it's body of christ, bro And pb in the middle dude and you never put jelly on the lord. So back that sweetener out of there, bro gang Let me see how we get your lady sending a video too. Thank you for this I'm gonna kill him I'm gonna kill him Jeb has me all the way over here in lafayette louisiana in a god dang trailer like camper
Starting point is 01:09:21 Damn, bro. Yeah, she sounds real pleased brother. I will say that Um, if you guys get a chance to check out the youtube, you got to see this place that maryland monroe Airbnb listing there out there very rare Very rare in lafayette Um, let's get into the last places we went on the tour and the next place we went to was oslo norway And That's that banger right there called national anthem works wrx
Starting point is 01:10:25 And uh in norway it was It was bright outside for maybe 50 minutes a day norway and sweden you hadn't there was Literally you could be eating cereal at breakfast and if you took a long time to eat it It was bedtime That's what there was I think people went to work for maybe 40 minutes It was just
Starting point is 01:10:51 It's if you like to There's not a lot It's a good place if you like to read if you want to read go to norway Gray place to just You haven't read something you need to catch up on maybe I don't know 600 books Maybe you didn't do the You know fifth through 11th grade norway You got time to read it's easier to read in norway if you can't even read go to norway
Starting point is 01:11:26 Because you can Because you can It is oh It's just a good place to read And a lot of like viking type of people too. You see a lot of men with long hair beautiful women Amsterdam had beautiful women But yeah, you see like a lot of
Starting point is 01:11:53 A lot of people, you know, English is definitely more secondary language there So you have they use a lot of f's and j's in their words Like I dude, I was in a conversation. I didn't know what I couldn't tell if I was friends with somebody or Or if I just like bought a car insurance. I had no idea what was going on Dude, sometimes it would be like I didn't I thought you know, you thought you you just met somebody and next thing, you know, they you know They give you $40 or something and they take your necklace off your neck. You're like, what what just happened here Yeah, there were just some of the exchanges you didn't know what was going on And dude, you could hurt your neck saying a word
Starting point is 01:12:47 One guy he got stuck saying something. He was like fully And I I had I had to fucking pat him on the back real hard and two boiled eggs fucking came out of his mouth, bro It just does a lot of you do you put you throw your back out finishing a long sentence, dude They got And everybody in Norway has a backpack on They got these people. I don't know what's going on. I mean, I guess they just You never know when
Starting point is 01:13:19 You might end up on a mountain You never know They got a backpack. They got ice pick Fresh water salt water cold water They got all kind of water new water old water water water They got water's daughter, dude. Just wet bitch rolling by like nah in this lady I don't even know what's going on, dude And they had also in uh
Starting point is 01:13:46 In a lot of these countries. They got the same type of dude. I grew up with Daniel, bro You'll see him in different countries. He's got on a dutch hat over there And he's got a windmill over there and he's using it to just You know to help him fucking get Harder hits off of a vape You know, you'll see him over there in Amsterdam and they call him amster daniel bruh And he's out there throwing mushrooms, dude giving mushrooms to uh You know to just throwing them into the mouths of the passing dutch
Starting point is 01:14:16 You know when he's training goldfish do with a small wand So it just You know the dark arts tour brought out the dark arts themselves And the last place we ended up in was, uh Stockholm Stockholm And oh I had reindeer I had reindeer
Starting point is 01:14:43 Dude what you having for dinner? Uh prancer Dude, let me get a couple of them freaking prancer medallions, bro. You know throw me 40 kilograms A cupid over there and um, you know, throw it in a soup. We'll do a bouillabaisse boy Damn, you throw fucking two jingle bells in this flank steak, son and we doing it And that's brave as hell Stockholm Y'all eating Reindeer What
Starting point is 01:15:19 Y'all what else y'all having over there? Hey, let me get a couple of them. Uh, yeah, Care Bears. Yeah, let me get a couple of them. Oh mother goose Yeah, I'll take uh, two of her eggs for breakfast Yeah, let me get that. Um, let me get a little bit of Care Bear jerky. Oh, yeah, I'll take something. Let me get seven pounds of it You know how many Care Bears have to Take a perma-l so you can have seven pounds of cbj, bro Seven pounds of cbj. Hey, bro here
Starting point is 01:15:54 But they had reindeer and I ordered it And you get a small like that's the saddest part You get a leg. It's about a foot long. You're like, damn this thing I mean they killed it a little early, bro. You could have at least let the thing Mastastasize or whatever You know, you could at least let it heighten out At least let it play jv. I mean this thing they took its life early The whole leg you could see right from hoof to uh
Starting point is 01:16:22 To butt probably about 11 inches like dang This little reindeer this thing hadn't even played this thing hadn't worked for santa. This thing hadn't even worked for delta probably You know, this thing was in the pre-limbs if anything this thing was probably helping out a local crop duster I mean, this was a small rd, bro And it came and look I hate to say it but I had it And reindeer look at me man. Look at me over here too And back over here
Starting point is 01:17:02 It's good It's good If you don't think reindeer is good, then you shouldn't think Reindeer is good It tastes like beef went to college, bro. That's what it tastes like It's a very organized meat. Of course it is dude, you know, it's built to shuffle gifts across the universe So you can't come into that all haphazardly You know wag you and got shit on this little fucking, you know on one of the lords
Starting point is 01:17:36 You know seven favorite gift horses So I don't know what it was, you know, I don't know if you want a couple You know, you want a couple of uh Prancer medallions or you want to You know You want the burn-ins of blitz and whatever you want They got it So the Swedes man
Starting point is 01:18:02 Oh It's I can't believe y'all are doing it, but that is that is the darkest of arts When you take something out of a children's You know, what's next what what else what else is on the menu? Clifford the big red dog nuggets. What else is on the menu, sweden? pepper the pig patay Huh, which what else y'all serving huh? Just a just a kill boss of children's dreams And that's Sweden man
Starting point is 01:18:36 and that's Sweden And that show in Stockholm was that was fire that was fire And look some of it look, you know, everything was great man. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful They were all great. I'm just trying to be honest with you about how I feel about the shows about how I feel But you know, my brain I have that terminal thing that always wants to kick me in the in the D You know, my my brain my ego puts on big boots every morning just to kick me right in the freaking D, bro Um
Starting point is 01:19:09 Gang man, let's take another call here. Here we go My name's Thomas. I just wanted to say listen to that. Oh, Thomas man. Yeah Oh my man. I used to know somebody named Thomas dude. Hell. I used to know probably six people named Thomas, man So So that's awesome man more number podcast again, and I thought about how interesting it was They kind of get a perspective, you know, not from a big name person, but from the everyday man I just thought it'd be kind of interesting. I'm kind of biased, but I'm a firefighter Paramedic and I just thought it'd be cool if you have oh, that's dope man. My friend is a paraplegic
Starting point is 01:19:45 and he um What else does he do he does he does a lot of different shit, but Sorry onward not anybody's that were like maybe like doctors or nurses or You know firemen EMTs or something to oh, yeah, we're gonna get some different people in man. I appreciate that suggestion man to get kind of Maybe get one of them guys on the show because I know I've got some pretty interesting stories And I love hearing other people's stories. I think You know like a first responder type of dude or even like a subway sandwich artist would be kind of interesting
Starting point is 01:20:17 Oh, I love that idea that subway sandwich artist bro because most of those shops get a B that food B Yeah, first responder. What about that last responder? That's what I'm talking about They don't talk about that guy that shows up about 30 minutes late To a cardiac arrest, you know And he's over there huffing down a Winston bra and complaining about his stepmother like damn bra That's what I'm talking about that last responder I'm talking about La Cedric. You know what I'm saying who shows up over there two hours late You know and he fucking he and he forgot his work shirt. So he's dressed just in personal clothing, you know
Starting point is 01:20:57 he's dressed just in a Cincinnati bangles jersey and he's trying to do CPR on you. You're like damn man. I've been look I've been fine I'm I healed up. I healed up 45 minutes ago You know, that's what I'm talking about I'm talking about a old Deborah, you know, who's a little much on the outside of the age range to be a first responder You know when she gets caught up over there, she forgets to keep the walkie-talkie volume up because it hurts her it makes her shingles flare up So she she shows up, you know, maybe 45 or 60 minutes late
Starting point is 01:21:36 to um You know to a house fire And she's over there trying to tell you, you know, tell y'all y'all shouldn't be smoking cigarettes You're like, what are you talking about? This was from a space heater seven people died And she's like, all right, you know Well, I'm gonna read my reader's digest over there about a truck. You know what I'm saying? I'm talking about these last responders That's what I'm talking about. Where are the where are they at?
Starting point is 01:22:05 The real people, bro I'm talking about the bootleg ambulance dude who shows up Because he keeps that scanner and he rolls up You know, hey for 40 dollars, bro. I'll get you to the uh, you feel me For 40 dollars. I'll get you to urgent care, bro. You know, you could bring two people with you That's a five dollar up charge right there gang So that's what I'm talking about That's that's what I'm talking about. You know, I'm talking about big willy
Starting point is 01:22:33 I'm talking about big willy in the church van. He's like, well, I'll take you over there, man God wants you well, brother. I'll take you over there You know, hell, we'll stop at my cousin's house You know, make me a make a uh, merloton casserole Grill up a uh grill up a pumpkin You ever had a hamburger stuffed pumpkins? And I what son? What are you talking about? Did I broke both of my legs and it's fell off a building?
Starting point is 01:23:04 He's like, oh, well, that's free man. This is free. You know, I'm working with the church So I'm just I'm talking about these last responders. That's who I want to know about That's who I want to know about um What else we got man? Everything came in cool. I'll see you guys this weekend. I'm gonna be in Denver, Colorado Uh, I think that's sold out. We got los vegas coming up january 31st and february 1st Those are that's in los vegas. Yeah gold country casino orville casino february 15th And then the queen elizabeth theater in toronto for february 20th
Starting point is 01:23:42 Um, that's kind of what's going on right now Oh, that's that I think we got through that's europe I mean there's so much more to it But we did it and I just And I try man. We tried our best man. We got out there. I was taking cold showers before the show just to make sure my energy was up um You know and we did it we got through it, you know, we got through it and
Starting point is 01:24:11 and just Yeah, getting to meet people are so nice people Oh, you know brought out some gifts. I got somebody brought me a little pair of shoes for a child Somebody got me um a couple things a candy Uh art my boy mcloskey, dude one of the best and worst artists in in ireland Hit me up with that home stretch piece Um, I got this from trinity college. I got this adult fitness band that I have on my head And this is for kind of snow fitness
Starting point is 01:24:47 And that kind of thing um And Yeah, I would come back I would come back in a heartbeat And just the vibe that everybody had of like hey, thank you for coming here man. It was cool You know, uh I'm just grateful man. I tried my best to make the stories fun and Um
Starting point is 01:25:10 And just to be a part of y'all's lives and thank you very much For welcoming me over there Uh All right Let's get out of here today man. You guys be good to yourselves. We'll be back this week. We got bobby lee coming in Um, we got some other great guests coming up Uh, really excited about it. Uh, it's gonna be a big year king And this thing is back this week
Starting point is 01:25:39 Um And everything's okay You know and thank you guys for making me feel okay And Don't give up on yourselves You know, we got this We'll be okay You know everything's gonna be cool
Starting point is 01:26:00 Uh And I love you You know, and I do love you and uh, thanks for Staying in shitty air bmbs or not shitty ones, but just unique air bmbs Uh to come out and be a part of my dream and and to be part of stuff that That this past weekend is a part of it means a lot and And that's it man Be good to yourselves. You deserve it and good to be back in america
Starting point is 01:26:30 You know people want to curse a lot of people want to curse america right now and stuff because Of different things and That's to me. That is crazy man You know, it's just I don't know how some people I don't know. It just doesn't help us. I don't know. I don't want to say some people but it doesn't help us to live somewhere and to be Ungrateful for it You know the news wants us to be so angry, man, but our hearts don't I believe that man our hearts do not Um, or you guys be good to yourselves, man
Starting point is 01:27:07 We'll uh, we'll head out of here on that some of that old scottish town gang You

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