This Past Weekend - Gary Owen | This Past Weekend #208

Episode Date: June 20, 2019

Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_ Gary Owen joins to talk about road stories, having a black audience, and his relationship with the Cincinnati Bengals. Gary Owen https://instagram.com/garyowencomedy YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEiJQ6Uohu1mUHMIoCiOlPw This episode brought to you by… Free Fly Uncommon Apothecary Visit https://ua-cbd.com Ridge https://ridgewallet.com/TPW Use code “TPW” for 10% off Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis Music “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/MakinIt_BishopGunn Gunt Squad www.patreon.com/theovon Name Aaron Jones Aaron Rasche Aaron Wayne Anselmi Adam White Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Alexa harvey Andrew Valish Angelo Raygun Anthony Holcombe Anthony Schultz Arielle Nicole Ashley Konicki Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Bad Boi Benny Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Benjamin Herron Benjamin Streit Bobby Hogan Brad Moody Brandon Hoffman Brandon Kirkman Bubba Hodge Carla Huffman Casey Roberts Charles Herbst Christian Coyne Christina Peters Christopher Stath Claire Tinkler Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Crystal Dakota Montano Dan Draper Dan Perdue Daniel Chase Danielle Fitzgerald Danny Crook David Christopher David Smith Diana Morton Dionne Enoch Donald blackwell Doug C Drew Munoz Dusty Baker Faye Dvorchak Felicity Black Ginger Levesque Grace Jenson Grant Stonex Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia J.P. Jacob Rice Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter Jameson Flood Jason Price Jeffrey Lusero Jenna Sunde Jeremy Siddens Jeremy Weiner Jim Floyd Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joel Henson Joey Piemonte John Kutch Johnathan Jensen Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan R Josh Cowger Josh Nemeyer Joy Hammonds Justin Doerr Justin L justin marcoux Kaitlin Mak Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kirk Cahill kristen rogers Kyle Baker Lacey Ann Laszlo Csekey Lauren Williams Lawrence Abinosa Leighton Fields Luke Bennett Madeline Garland Mandy Picke'l Marisa Bruno Matt Kaman Meaghan Lewis Meghan LaCasse Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Mike Poe Mona McCune Nick Roma Nick Rosing Nikolas Koob Noah Bissell OK Passenger Shaming Qie Jenkins Rachel Warburton Randal L. Nu Ranger Rick Robert Mitchell Robyn Tatu Rohail Ryan Hawkins Ryan Walsh Sagar J Sarah Anderson Scoot B. Scott Wilson Sean Scott Season Vaughan Secka Kauz Shane Pacheco Shannon potts Shona MacArthur Suzanne O'Reilly Theo Wren Thomas Adair Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Todd Ekkebus Tom Cook Tom Kostya Tommy Frederick Travis Simpson Tugzy Mills Tyler Harrington (TJ) Victor Montano Victor S Johnson II Vince Gonsalves William Reid Peters Yvonne Zeke HarrisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Don't be like that anymore. Get that front pocket carry from Ridge. They also have phone cases. They also have knives. Visit ridgewallet.com slash TPW and use code TPW at checkout for 10% off. That's code TPW for 10% off at ridgewallet.com. Today's guest is one of America's most loved crossover comedians. He has a podcast called Get Some.

You may know him from Think Like a Man. He's a very funny guy. And I've run into him a couple of times recently and happy to have him here today. Mr. Gary Owen. Dude, no, but thanks for your patience, man. I'm sorry that I was late. Oh, y'all went to a chiropractor, bruh.

Dude, you think you look like this just automatically done? My fault. I'm always, I always think chiropractor scare me because I think they'll fix the problem. Yeah. But then they'll also fuck up something else and you come back, you know, like this. All right, my sixth vertebra is great,

but now there's third one. And they do, I think they do it just a little bit. So we're going to give them eight months. Yeah. And then when he comes back, you know what I mean? Then I'll come up with something. Oh, you were hiking? Oh, yeah, that's it.

Yeah, they kind of, yeah, they put something in your bones. Are we cruising, Nick? Yeah, they put something in your bones that like, oh, well, this will, yeah. They set you at like three months. They set that knee at three months. I'm telling you, man.

That layup. Nobody's ever gone to a chiropractor and just stopped. They come back. You know what I mean? It's hard. Like, I don't trust them. Like, they're like mechanics. Yeah, they're like mechanics.

I get my oil change and they bring out some filter. You're like, I got a Camaro. That's a Toyota filter. Yeah. Yeah, they bring back a sunroof. You don't even have one. Yeah. I've never, I never in my life have I gone and got an oil

change when I, when I had shitty cars and they just went, all right, $19. Like, like the thing says on the marquee. Yeah. It's, you walk out there at $60. Like they get you on something. You had to like that. It's 19.

It makes you feel like your car cannot go without that. We find a used squirrel in your catalytic converter. That's what they used to get my dad with all the time. Or they had a mouse in your catalytic converter. Catalytic converter. The guy be like, just give me $40, man. We'll handle it. Hey, man, you're flux capacitor.

You're not going to be able to travel back in time. Oh, you're time traveling, man. We got to shut you down, man. Yeah. Sorry about that. Yeah. Government says it's $200. It's just written on the wall, $200 for time traveling.

Right. Yeah. It's charged. It's coming, baby. Yeah. Yeah. Car prank is dangerous, man. I went in there and this lady laid me down too, dude.

She was, I think, Scottish or something, man. Fuck, I felt Scottish by the time she was back in there, dude. She was deep at some point. Just want to go watch Braveheart. Bro, I could feel my grandparents just building up in my cheeks, bro. She had me just reminiscing, bro. See, some professions should be women.

I don't like the whole, we're all the same. Like, if I go to the dentist, I don't want a dental assistant to be a dude. Yeah. I don't want some manhands in my molars. Yeah. I want some nice, soft, female-type shit going on. You know what I mean? Some jobs should not be.

When I had my knee surgery, I remember I couldn't piss or shit. Because you want pills? Yeah, just knee surgery and I couldn't eat until I pissed. I wasn't allowed to eat. So the nurse came in and they go, look, we can either wait this out or you want a catheter. You couldn't eat until you pissed? Yeah, I wasn't allowed to eat anything.

I could drink water, but I wasn't allowed to eat. They had to make sure everything was moving correctly, I guess, after the surgery. Oh, I see what you're saying. I thought this was some kind of weird, like you were in that movie Saw or something. No, no, no. It's like you get out of surgery and then they're like, you know, the guy's with you and then you got to piss, where you can eat anything. So it'd been a while.

So the lady nurse came in and she literally goes, look here, we can do the catheter and get the piss and then you can eat. You know, we can wait a couple more hours, what are we going to do? I said, I'm starving. Just do it. She goes, now you come through with me doing it? Would you like me to get a guy to do it? I literally went, why would I want a guy?

I remember looking at her like, so really people say that? I go, and all that thing was, I was trying to tell her like, look, it's not where it should be right now at surgery. And you know, it's very Ken Jeong hangover popping off right now. Dang, dude. Yeah, that's true, especially like a fireman or something. I don't want somebody to be like, yeah, we're sending barb up if you're in a burning building.

Right. Fuck barbed off. It's a great line. Fuck barbed, dude. Some professions got to be men and women. Yeah. Even when I was in the Navy, when I joined the Navy, women weren't allowed on combat ships. Right.

So women had it made. They were on shore duty. And when you're on shore duty, you get extra money. They give you extra money to go get an apartment. Oh, wow. Live out in town. It's a nine to five job when you're shore duty. When you're on a ship, it sucks because you're in racks that are three high,

you know, burning area sucks. There's no privacy. But women, there's a few women that were fighting for equal rights. And I was thinking, why the fuck would you want to be on a ship? Yeah. You got it made right now. And it's always like a few women. We want the same round like this stupid.

I mean, it literally makes their quality of life worse. Right. Then better. They could have shut up and been fine. But do you think that some of them actually want that? Or do you think it's some people that just want to, they just have to argue for something sometimes? And they just want to win. Yeah, that's what it is.

It doesn't benefit them. They want to win. Right. They don't even realize you're not really winning. Yeah. You're losing after this. And if you asked a lot of men would prefer to take a bullet for a woman, or at least when I was younger, it seemed like a lot of men would take a bullet for a woman.

Nowadays, it'd be like, you know, let's front some of these bitches. You know, put them out front. Well, I will say, when I was first in the Navy and women weren't allowed on combat ships, the first ship I was on had women. The second one didn't. Ain't like you got to be banging them. You just got to be around some women, man. You go for a month in the middle of the ocean with 1,000 dudes, and you don't see one female.

And that's just a fuck to your head a little bit. Does it? Man, you come back, you ready to bang Precious. Oh, yeah. You're like this. Dang. Oh, you're ready to bang Semiprecious. Anybody want some chicken?

Like you want to go steal some? Like the movie? Does your mom hurt you? It's like even when you're out at sea, when you're out at sea with women on ships, the first couple of weeks, and some of the women are like, ah, I'm good. And then a month in, you're like, you been working out? I know. You know?

And then by two months, it's 800 Halle Berry's on that ship. Wow. You're like, dang, Stockholm syndrome. It is. You're seeing the same women day to day. You start to just, man, gravitate to them. Yeah, I remember, I remember, so you're saying, so then there is a, it sounds like there is a real advantage to just having women around even on the boat.

There is something nice about just there being an opposite sex around. Oh, yeah. Like I said, you ain't got to be mess around and touch them. Just walk by, have a scent of a woman. Just to know that a woman's around. Yeah, and it's something, I mean, something that eases the tension. You know what I mean? Even if you, even if there's innocent, I was single.

So even if there's innocent flirt and like we had this one girl, her name was Love. I'll never forget it. Best ass, right? And Navy had, we had done, Dungarees. Oh, Black Lady? I knew what Black Lady loved. Oh yeah, it was Black Lady. She was dating a couple of the Chargers because we were staying in San Diego.

And to be a Navy girl, dating a couple NFL ball players, like you had to be looking good because you're up against the top of the top competition. Yeah. And I just remember her stencil was sewn in, but I'd still would be like, you know, I was a cop and I was a Navy. I'm like, love, let me see your stencil. She turned around like, are you good? Because the stencil ain't right.

You got to tell them to go fix it and mark it in because some people have markers, some people sewed it in. Hers was sewn in. I'd still be like, love, let me see that stencil. That was good for me. Dude, I wonder if it's the same girl. Oh, you know a love? I know a girl named Love.

From San Diego? A young Black woman. Yeah. But I don't, she wasn't from San Diego. She was stationed in San Diego. Yeah. She had to be from the South. The way her build was, she had to be from the South.

Yeah. There were some grits. I'll have to see. Really? My diet. Yeah. Dude, I meant, I, um, someone was going to ask you about just a second ago, we were talking about the military.

Oh yeah. They used to have a thing. So I went and did just some, just a different military base tours and stuff. I'm sure you've done some of those. Mm-hmm. And they had one, we went to Guantanamo Bay and they had the term Gitmo Pretty. And it was like, after a couple of days down there, you're like, yeah, that lady, dude, keep me away from her.

And by five days down there, you're like, hey, where's that lady? Right. Facts. Any ship, man, any military base. You're like, damn, Burdette is looking hot as fuck. Good lord, Pascal. Yeah. They had a big girl named Galaxy was her name.

I remember Galaxy Wilson. Her last name was Galaxy? First name, Galaxy Wilson, bro. I'm like, damn Galaxy. Fucking moons over Miami, bro. Let me be a part of that solar system. Blast me into that fucking, into that asthma sphere, bro. Dude, thanks so much for coming in, man.

Yeah, no problem. What's going on? You living in Cincinnati, huh? Appreciate that. Thanks for being on time, man. Well, look, man, I know you like to work in a lot of the black circles, so I'm wondering if you're fricking. Thanks.

I wanted to be late. Well, I was, I thought that's why I got here early. I go home and prove to him. We're not all like that. It feels stuck in traffic. Whoa, he's in LA. I guess he didn't see that coming. You know what I mean?

Way to plan ahead, Theo. Do you, so you, you've had a great, you've had probably the greatest career for someone that doesn't live in Los Angeles or New York. Maybe, I don't know. Yeah, I never, I lived here for a little bit, but my career took off really when I left, went back to Ohio. Because you know that, I mean, that never happens, but that's not most people's story.

Yeah. Why would I would fly out whenever I was needed in LA or New York? Yeah. And you know, we just kind of, hmm. Yeah, you'd like, I like, I don't know any of the, I hear, I was talking to your guys before I got here about, you know, there's very much a click, the, the comic store comics. You guys are like your own little click, you know,

because you see each other so much. And I'm wholly not in the loop. I'm almost like a big foot. Right. They're sightings of me. Oh yeah. In LA, like, even when you're somewhere at the airport. Oh yeah.

There's, there's Gary Allen. Gary Allen. Oh, it's crazy. He doesn't exist. Well, it's almost kind of nice because it's almost like you're then like a celebrity to LA. Oh yeah, cause I've never seen. Cause you're, yeah, you're like so rare.

It's like, yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if I saw Dwayne The Rock Johnson. I've seen him twice in LA. I've only seen you once in LA. And that was at the airport on my way out. Yeah. On my way out with a liver in Minnesota. Where were you going that weekend? Uh, I don't know yet.

We're in Minnesota. Remember that? That was the layover. Yeah. Oh my God. What the fuck? Beautiful airport too. Big though.

That's a big-ass airport. Jesus. It's almost too big. Yeah. I think the metrodome's somewhere in there. I remember at one point, I remember crossing a 40-yard line at somebody. Somebody, somebody fumbled around in hand-handys. That would be great.

The football team attached to the airport. Just watched the game from the side. Well, now a lot of, a lot of the airports got the hotels right there. Detroit's got that Western right in it. Oh yeah, five or three hour layover, dude. I might, sometimes I'll bust a coin and get that, get that lay down for a little while. Well, they, well, Atlanta's got the minute suites. You seen that?

Mm-mm. You can rent a room for like an hour. Oh wow. It's like, I don't know what it is, like $30. I did it. I had a, I had like a, I had a, I was, oh, I was coming back from Japan. Mm-hmm. I landed at like five in the morning and my next flight went to like 11.

So I bought that thing for three hours. Man, was it good? Yeah, it's like a, it's your own room. It's got a cable, outlets, a bed, you know, the bathroom you have to leave. Not, you don't have to go in the hallway, but there's a bathroom for, for the pods, but it's, it's like a little pod. It's cool though. You know what?

I was in Australia a couple weeks ago and they had at the airport in this one area that it's had like these kind of like, look like a big molar actually with a, with a roll top, like those roll top desks and you could get in there. Like an egg? Yeah, like an egg. Like more, more, more commendi? Yep. You pay like three or $4 and getting that egg and that's that and you just right in the airport?

I mean, just literally you could walk. I mean, bro, there were kids running around through and playing games and shit. And you're in the egg locked in. You're in there sleeping. Yeah. I mean, I think you lock yourself in from the inside. You bring a lady in there? I don't know, dude.

Make a little bit of fucking. What was she doing in Australia? Performing. Exhaled, bro. Uh, yeah, I was doing shows over there. I never, I've never, outside of military bases, I've never, only place I've been outside of the country, uh, is Squam in London. That's been it.

Well, Canada, but that's, that's kind of America too. Yeah. Australia is kind of Canada, but way like it's Canada with more of a criminal element, you know, because a lot of criminals, like that whole country is based on criminality or, you know, people that did crime. Crime. Where did you get that statistic from? Crime, uh, just from being alive.

Like I'm just buying it like really? I go, never heard that. He was just breaking off shit. Yeah. Like Ohio, Ohio was founded by a Capone, you know, he was running drugs through there and he just named it Ohio. Do you ever feel left out because you don't live in LA or New York? No, no, never do.

I'm so busy as it is. You know, even if I, when I get off the road, the last thing I want to do is go to a comedy club because I do it so much where I know a lot of the guys in LA, they're, you know, they're, they're at the comedy clubs every night. And I, I did that when I was out here. So I feel like I got it out of my system, but it hurts a different vibe at the comedy store now. I heard there's different management and ownership and everything else.

Cause I, when I first started, I did the whole wait it in line for three hours to open mic. Oh yeah. And, and this is not an indictment on Mitzi Shore. I'm sure she's a nice lady, but what she did to me, I was like, I will never perform here. That's why I'm never there. She iced you, huh? Well, I wait in line, I did the, I did what you're supposed to do for like two, three weeks, right?

And then I got, I got picked a showcase. So five, five, a showcase that night. And it was four women. It was four women. I was the only dude. I don't know who the other women were, but there was four women in me and I was the fifth. So the four women only black guy to perform to pretty much. It's like, do you remember who the other people were?

Chris Tucker, Chappelle. So I don't know why they didn't get picked. No, it was four. But when, when I went up and you only get five minutes, I looked in the back of the original room and she was like holding court with the four girls and wasn't watching me. And then I got called the next day and I go, yeah, you didn't get picked to be a regular. I said, what? And not to sound conceited, but I clearly had the best set.

Yeah. Like it was even close. Look, we know we have a good set and we don't. And I was like, I didn't get picked and then when I found out the girls did, I was like, I'm out. I'll never perform here. So you had a real, you had a real resentment then. Towards her a little bit.

Just cause I felt like I did what you were supposed to do. Now, if none of us would have got picked, I'd have been like, all right. But in, in honestly, I knew my stuff wasn't hacky. You know what I mean? I knew it was some original stuff. Yeah. So I was just like, I didn't get picked. It just didn't make any sense.

And I go, she just didn't watch me. So for whatever reason, it is what it is, but I, I've never performed. I've never been back. Well, didn't make you feel like it wasn't fair. Like I'm just curious, like a, cause I mean, yeah, you hear all kinds of stuff about Mitzy Shore. I mean, obviously, you know, she's run like one of the best clubs, you know, like, I think her, like, I don't know all of it, but like her, you know, she got the club

finally from her husband or something. I think like there was some other ownership, you know, you hear that she never paid people. People went on strike. You know, you hear all kinds of stuff. I mean, you know, there's tons of history out of that building. I mean, she was also a woman that started a business, you know, so like, I think that was a, you know, there weren't a lot of women doing that in the comedy space at the time. But yeah, I mean, you hear all kinds of stuff that she was dating half the comedians.

I mean, there's tons of things you hear. Yeah. I mean, I'm just saying, she's probably a nice lady. I'm not saying she's a bad person, but that, that night, I was like, man, fuck this. Well, did that make you feel like you weren't going to have any opportunities in LA overall? Oh, no, it, it got me all fired up. And a lot of people know this. I ran, I ran the, um, the main room for two years on Guy Torey's Fat Tuesday,

because I'm in St. Louis and Guy said, man, I gotta let it go. I'm too busy. I said, you can't let it go, dude. That's like, that's like the black spot on Tuesday. At the comedy store. Yeah. I said, let me take it over. I said, I won't change shit.

I was running, me and my wife was running it and nobody knew I was behind it because I just wouldn't show up. I would just, but it was funny because my wife would like, we were booking it, right? And then people would be like talking shit about other comics and stuff like comics do sometimes and she come back and give me feedback. And sometimes if you talk shit about me, I was like, really? But I never held against him. I wouldn't like not book somebody and take him off.

I was just like, I just thought comics do that. I came because there's a, there's a little bit of bitch in all of us at some point. You know what I mean? So you're going to have days and nights where you're, you're just, you want to blame somebody when you don't realize it's just the business. It is what it is. Yeah. That's another thing.

Yeah. It's just the business. It's like, yeah. I mean, even going back to the Mitzi short thing, it's like, you know, people could say that, you know, you'll hear that she didn't pay comics, but you also don't know if she was getting a shittier deal because she was a woman in certain circles. You know, you just don't know. It's like, you don't know how like what the business is always.

You don't know everybody's angry. Everybody's, how everybody's dealing with it. And you know, you know, with her seeing open micers all day, every day, she might have been having like, I'm fucking done today. I don't have time to see this guy. Or maybe some man in the business had been a dick to her that day and she's like, you know what, I just saw, you don't know. You just don't know.

Back then I was like, fuck this shit. Now it's more just a story. It's my story. Right. You know, it's not, I'm not mad. I've never said a bad word about her in public or anything. It's just, it is what it happened. Yeah.

I'm just like, but that night, fuck. I was pissed. Oh, I can imagine. Fuck the comic store. Fuck Encino, man. Fuck the Jersey Shore. Anything with a short and I was done. Want to go surfing?

Fuck you, man. I'm going to pool. Fuck Gulf Shores, Alabama. Yeah. Fuck Floor Bama, the bar, the shitty bar that's down there where people always get date rate, but to decent music. Sorry. Right. But look, dude, if you're going to get a date rate, get a date rate to some,

you know, some easy listening. You know what I'm saying? To some skinner, bro. I don't want to get date rate to some damn trick, daddy. You know what I'm saying? I want to get date rate. Skinner. Yeah.

Okay. Something like this. Yeah. Sounds good, dude. I'm not Brent Schwab. I'm not agreeing with you. I'm just kidding. No, that's all right.

Dude, here, Brent, I'm going to see a definite agreement mode. I get that in podcasts when I'm talking to somebody. I'll just have no idea what's going on. They're just agreeing with you. I'm just fucking agreeing with them. Yeah. Like, hey, we're thinking about killing your whole family. Like, oh, that's a great idea, man.

Awesome. Yeah, man. Yeah, my mom's a bitch. But yeah, it's like, sometimes you just don't know. It's like, you know, it's like, we just don't know sometimes what everybody else is dealing with, you know? That's right. Yeah, looking back on it, it's just like, I just, I'll never forget as long as I live,

the four women standing around there and she's just holding court, like telling them about, I'm reading what they're saying. Like, you got to work on this, you do this, this and this. But it looked like they was all having a great time. Oh, that was great. And I'm up here going, you know what I mean? Like, I want to stop it. Like, hey, Mitz, I'm up.

It's my third Sunday waiting in line for three fucking hours. Going to give five minutes. That's going through my brain. It's such a helpless feeling, too, when you can't do that. And you put the mic back in the stand and you walk off going, this is pointless. This was fucking pointless. And then when I would drive by and see the guys in line, I don't, it was like a Tuesday at a waiting line.

That was like the long line in front of the comedy show for open mic. And I drive by it and see just for the next couple of years, like, I want to be like, wasting your time. It's fucking pointless. Wow. So you had to, yeah, man, I'd have a, look, I can totally go through that moment. You're on stage and you see the person who's supposed to be paying attention to you. And you're already nervous. There's already a lot going on.

I mean, this is like a moment in the sun to even get that opportunity to showcase at the comedy store. And then the other people that have already gone on, they had their time to be in front of her. Now they're all talking to her. And you have to still be doing your jokes. Your mind is locked in it. Even if it could be complete darkness in the room.

I remember when I was doing it in New York for Estie, right? Who passes at the comedy cellar. And she's over in the dark and I don't know where she is, but then at a certain point I knew exactly where she was in the dark, paying attention to me. You know, it's like, you can just feel like the spot in the dark where somebody in the room is supposed to be judging you. And to think that they're not even paying attention

and you still have to do these jokes. And you don't even care if the other people in the room even see them. It's a helpless thought. So helpless, dude. Fuck. So helpless, bro. Like trying to breastfeed and be a man. You know, it's like.

On Jerry's Deli afterwards. Oh yeah, it's meat only, bro. If you're breastfeeding, you're a man. Yeah. Turn them out. Just today, the Hollywood reporter named Adam Egett, the new manager at the comedy store, and SD, two of the 40 most powerful people in comedy.

Wow. So it was crazy that you brought both of them up. And there you go. It's like, and then it's like you look years later. I mean, it's like, you know, Paulie's like, you know, Paulie's always, you know, he's always trying to be supportive. He's always trying to stay creative. You got the file that has passed away, the lore of just the story even staying.

Like all the times it was supposed to be sold. I heard it's a different vibe. I didn't spend a lot of time there, but I heard it's completely different now. It's different now, man. It's very supportive. But you know what? A lot of that is, I think more than any other time in the history of stand-up,

like comics can control their own narrative now. Right. Through podcasting. You know what I mean? Just through social media, YouTube. I mean, you can build your audience. You don't need somebody to say, give you like the yes. Yeah.

You can do it on your own, you know? Even with, you know, I've gotten to know you through the podcast networks pretty much. I mean, outside of road rules, you were amazing on that. Yeah. Well, I mean, I was a kid, you know? I know, because that's the thing, man. I've always followed you from afar because I saw you on last comic standing. You were like the internet guy.

Yeah, me and Josh Wolff. Because when I saw you, I go, that's the fuck from road rules. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then when you did road, what year was that you did road rules? Uh, 99. 99.

And you, you were like a mid-season replacement or something, right? Didn't you come in? Uh-uh. You were there from the first? I was just regular, yeah. Did someone get kicked off that year or something? And somebody new came in? No.

Fuck it. I'm thinking of Cyrus. But it's a lot of seasons. There's a million seasons. I'm like this. Fuck, I'm thinking of Cyrus from Boston road. Yeah. But the reason I always felt like the, that just the 90s, I'll say, is I was in the Navy

and I tried to get on the real world. Uh-huh. I could see you on there easily. The Boston cast. And I remember my buddy, this is the internet. You had to write a letter. So I wrote a letter to Buna Murray. And then.

You didn't tell me you were gay at the beginning of a letter. No, no, no. I told him I like black women. Oh, yeah. So I said the perfect house would be me with seven black girls. Oh. You know what I mean? And then here's what's funny.

Who are you? Scott Storch, right? That was my thing. I go, Hey guys, I love black women. Let's do being seven black girls, you know? And then they said they sent me a letter back. Like I got a letter back and they said put yourself on tape. So my buddy worked at good guys.

So we said like literally a hundred TVs up. So everything I did was magnified by a hundred. Wow. And then I had like a black girl walk in and I go look. And then and then they asked me to come up and get interviewed. And I got interviewed and then I didn't get it, obviously. But it was the Boston like 96 season. Oh, yeah.

And what was crazy is I'm active duty. So how would I have done it anyway? Right. Like I still had a year left. You'd had to ask for leave and they might have given it to you. So when I see that season, there was the black girl that went to Stanford that didn't like interracial dating. But then they went on vacation.

She banged the white dude on vacation. I went, I was supposed to bang her. Like literally I was like, I was supposed to bang her. That was supposed to be, I was watching it like. I see what you did there. That was supposed to be me. I found a Heather, Martha's Vineyard. I was looking at like this.

And then it was funny because when I sent in all the tape, like, I like black girls do me with some black girls. A big arch of that season was Cyrus dated a lot of white women and the black girl didn't approve of it. So in a way, it was like they addressed what I had talked about in my video. You know what I mean? I was like, it's fine. I was like, I would have been a great asset.

Yeah. And that season was kind of boring. Yeah. Boston. Yeah, I don't even remember it. I remember the first season of the real world. I remember was when real world Hawaii went. I mean, I remember some of the other ones, but the first one I watched,

I just remember tech jumping into that swimming pool. Naked? I don't know if he was naked or not. He was naked. Yeah. Was he? He got naked. And then the.

I didn't notice that. Oh, I did. They blurred him out. How do I look? What are you saying, Theo? Bro. It was like an 18-inch sensor bar. Yeah.

But I thought he was the first. I'm like hitting on the side of the TV. Yeah, he was the first to like start getting like, well, no, there was the guy from the first season was the ripped guy from New York. Oh, Eric Neese. Eric, yeah, he was the first one. He got like spin-offs and shit like that. Yeah.

He was a real G. But, uh, but yeah, man, I'm trying to think of, um, I'm trying to think of, I don't even know where our train of thought went here. What were we talking about? Reality TV in the comedy store. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I think, oh, you mentioned that Estee and Adam just got those,

that got those things. Yeah. And then you said, yeah, it's like people can make their own destinies now. It's like, yeah, you don't have to have like, I mean, one of the reasons why some people got into podcast and was like, I couldn't find a TV show or anything. I couldn't even be represented out here. You know, like they were not, they're not putting anybody from like, I don't consider, I mean, I'm from the South.

I don't consider myself like a redneck though, you know, like, but they're not putting any, they weren't putting anybody that even represented me. I felt like, so it was like, I had to start a podcast to even just, you know, have anything to be able to say anything. I felt like, yeah. I think people gravitate to podcasts because you, you are unfiltered. Yeah. You know, like I did, online last week, I talked about an argument I had backstage

with my opener and it was a legit, I was throwing food at him. I was so pissed because he yelled at me. It wasn't about the food. It was like, did you just yell at me? Would you throw in him? I got to know that. Fried rice and egg rolls. And he was Asian.

Oh my gosh. So he's Cambodian. Wait, what? Let me see what happened. And Cambodian, let's be honest, dude, it's Asian, bro, but it's also a little something else. Okay. It'll be a wild out there. It's the other of Asian, you know.

Even Asian people are like, I'm not going out there, you know. It is Waysian, bro. It's past Asia, bro. You're out there, dude. Well, here's what happened because I want to hear about this, man, because people often say that you're hard to deal with. So I want to hear what happened. I want to hear about this.

Brian Kelly. We talked about that. I'm talking, I was talking to your guys before I got on here. I got, I got, dude, I go, you know, the internet's notorious for anybody says anything good about you. You don't hear shit. They say something bad, I get DMs and Twitter tags and everything. And the Brian Kelly, Brennan Shaw, when they, when I, oh, my wife got profile on Delta and

they brought it up and they go, and Brian goes, yeah, I heard that guy's hard to deal with. I was like, what? So I watched it. It really was, Brian even said, he goes, I don't know why I said that. I shouldn't say that. They call you the, dude, they call you the pink Chris Tucker. That's what I hear all the time. The pink Chris Tucker.

I thought it was the white car Malone. I'm like the only one. Like he was the only black guy with a John Deere deal. You know what I mean? Like I'm the only black guy at the barbershop. I'm the one who got a barbershop where my picture's on the haircut. You're a white guy. You want that Gary Owen right there on the poster?

It's all black guys and me. No, let me see what happened in Dallas. I want to hear about this. I'm not hard to deal with, but it's not about the food that I threw. It was that he yelled at me is what made me throw the food. Because I, before I went on stage, you know, comical food isn't the best. Right.

I'm over 40 and trying to eat good. So I literally just told him, I said, go anywhere, just get some brown rice and teriyaki chicken. That's anywhere. Right. So they, they, they couldn't find the place that they said they were going to order from. They couldn't get it.

So I get off stage. So you, you know, you're hot. You got three shows at night. You just want to eat. You're like, okay, get your palates ready for some. And they ordered Thai food. And I was like, I don't, you guys know me. I don't like Thai food.

So automatically I'm like, why would you order Thai food? Yeah. Of anything. You could have got me a salad. Right. So then I opened it. The vegetables looked all dry. It just looked bad.

All the food looked like, no. I was like, so now I'm not, not happy. The only thing that looked good. And you know, Asian food comes into big containers. Was this big container of noodles and veggies and chicken. I go, that looks good. So I take the fork and the county club brought us plates. So I take the fork and I'm taking some noodles and put on a plate.

And I was going to take some other stuff too and just make a plate of little samples, everything. So a container, my opener comes in and say goes, hey, those are mine. Those are mine. Those are mine. I said, okay. I was like, I'm just going to take a little bit.

Is that okay? And he was like, oh yeah, that's fine. Okay. So I take the noodles and then he takes it and it's a big container. And he puts his fork in it and immediately he starts eating it. So we still got two other people in the green room that's got to eat. And I looked at them and I said, say, you know, you've been selfish, right?

Like you should have, I'm thinking in my brain, you should have offered something to the other people in the room. Right. And he goes, huh? I go, you know, you're being selfish, right? And he just went from zero to 10. He goes, I'm not being selfish. And it was when he yelled at me, I went, what?

It was like, I had a movie and I just grabbed the nearest thing I saw on this container fried rice. I go, get the fuck out. And as he's leaving the room, I'm throwing one egg roll at a time. I go, get the fuck out. Oh yeah, bro. So he gets out. That's like the Laotian Olympics.

Right. And he comes back in and he yells again. He's like, I was just trying to, and there's one more egg roll. I said, get the fuck out. He gets out, right? So then I calm down. I go, okay, I probably overacted, right? And then my road manager, Brad, he explains that he just broke it down.

He goes, man, he's got a real life voice. Man, I just think, I think you was hot and you was hungry. And the food wasn't there that you wanted. And in Se's mind, those were his noodles. Yeah. So you was eating his noodles. I go, I go, yeah, you probably probably overreacted. Somebody just yelled at me, man.

I could have had a discussion about it. It was him yelling that set me off. And then we're laughing about an hour later. But I talked about it on my podcast, right? Last week. And I'm telling people a story. At no point I said I was right or wrong. I was just telling a story.

But some people were like, uh, you know, you was wrong, Gary. Or some people was like, I'm looking at you different. You're like a diva. Oh, those were his noodles. The funny part is that's the part is the word noodles makes it funny. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We got to argument over some noodles.

And the other two people that had to eat were Brian Cowan and Brendan Schaub. So that's why he was upset. Now, but here's the funny shit about the whole thing. I didn't throw my plate of food. I had already made mine. Say he had his noodles in his hand. The only person he could eat was Brad. Yeah.

The Roman who had nothing to do with the archie man. He goes, man, I ain't getting any. Hey, you guys ate all the food. You was hot and you was hungry. Yeah. He ain't just broke it down. Here's what I think happened. You was hot.

You didn't get the food you wanted. Those were his noodles. I was like, oh, yeah. Yeah, probably. Dude, that is the word. Dude, it is the word. So because sometimes you'll have a long day of traveling. You don't have a chance to eat anything.

You'll get up early. The layover is really fast. It'd be 30 minutes. You have to get to your gate. And so then next thing you know, you've had a coffee and a muffin or something or a banana. You finally get to the place you, you know, you maybe have a snack or something before you go on stage and then you have to do the first show. You get off.

You want to eat. That's your time to finally get something to eat. Right. And your palate's ready for something. Yeah. And that's not like an extravagant dish. Like no brown rice and teriyaki chickens. You should be able to get that.

Yeah. You should be able to get it, man. And especially if he's Cambodian, dude, you can't come up with a little teriyaki chicken papa. Motherfucker. You the Cambodian. Call somebody. Yeah.

If I ask you for fucking doughnuts or something, you know, and you don't know how to come up with a couple or I ask you for, you know, a couple of Cornish game hens or something. It's like asking me, you know, where can I get some quiche? Yeah. You know, tuna casserole. I can make you that. I'm going to interrupt this conversation just to say a couple of weeks ago,

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to the show. But dude, I remember we worked together at, remember the charity basketball, the basketball thing? The basketball referee. Who am I thinking of, brother? Oh, Tony, something, was that in... I feel bad his name is... Virginia Beach? Virginia Beach, yeah. Tony Brothers. Tony Brothers, yeah. I forgot about that, man. Tony is a sweet man. He was not happy that night.

He was not happy that night. Because they booked, they overbooked the theater and the weekend and he said, you guys knew I was bringing this show here. I'm doing this for the community and you booked like two other urban comedy shows around it. Oh, really? There was like one the week before and like one, two weeks after and he was like, you killed my show. I didn't know that. Yeah, that's why he went on stage and told him because I'm not happy about this.

I was like, damn, I never seen somebody go up and thank the people for being there, but then go off on the venue. And un-thank the venue. Right. There's a beautiful venue. Yeah. There's a beautiful venue, man. Yeah, you crushed. I mean, I'd never seen you. I mean, I'd seen you on film and I'd seen you on the internet and stuff.

I'd never seen you on stage before. Yeah, it's a different beast. And you, yeah, you really, really... I get that a lot. I didn't know it was like that. Really? Well, it sounds conceited, but there's a different energy with a black audience. Yeah. And it'd be a white guy to have.

It was blacktastic, bro. It was blacktastic, dude. Yeah, it was Howard Homecoming. Yeah, it was something. It was unique, bro. I mean, there was people doing that. But when... We were excited. The, you know, I'm the white guy.

Yeah. For black people. Oh, you're the extremely strong fit. You're the very physical and talented Michael Rappaport people call you. Hmm. I can see that. Yeah. Yeah. For real.

I mean, easily. I can see that. Yeah. And yeah, it's a different energy. And I, you know, like, I just did my latest special last week in San Antonio. And even my agent at UTA hadn't seen me live in years. And he goes, I forgot it was like that. And I know that sounds conceited.

Right. No, it doesn't. It's a different energy. That's your job. Live. Yeah. It just, not only that, it's just a reaction when I come on stage. Like, I am very...

Like I said, I am black famous. Yeah. That's many black people that walk by. If they don't know my name, they know my face. Oh, you're Frederick Douglass almost. I mean, it's like you, Freddie D, who else? A couple of others. I'm trying to think of famous, yeah, white people that are...

Larry Bird. Yeah, Larry Bird. He ain't going too far. Yeah. It's very, yeah. I'm trying to think of famous white guys that are real famous in the black community. But it's crazy. Like, it is a different...

Black Hollywood and Hollywood is different because I heard stories about Philip Seymour Huffman, and I don't know if it's true, but I got it from a reliable source. He used to go to like the Starbucks in the urban neighborhoods, because he could sit down and read and be left alone. Oh, wow. And like, nobody knew who he was. I like this. He'd go to like the Magic Johnson Starbucks.

That's crazy. And just like, read. And some might be like, dude, that... And some might tell me, they go, yo, that dude from that movie. Yeah, that dude. That dude, you know? I'm a fucking idiot. I'm a fucking idiot.

That dude from Boogie Nights. And you do the opposite. You go to like nice white... Oh, I go to Salt Lake to get away. I go to Park City. I was in D.C. and it was funny. I was telling them on stage, I go, dude, I'm in D.C. I did not get stopped one time by a white person in five days,

but I couldn't go a block. Got me was the homeless motherfucker stopped me. Oh, you couldn't go a black, bro. I go, the homeless dude stopped me. I was like, God damn. That's when you know the motherfucker is homeless. I knew exactly, but if they don't know me, I'm that's old boy. Oh, yeah.

Oh, that's old boy right there. That's old boy. And then what's funny is they'll have a whole conversation, but won't know my name. Yeah. I go, yeah. And then it's funny to argue with themselves. Yeah, that's you.

Yeah, you know that's you. You know, you, you, you, you, right? Yeah, that's you. Yeah, you know that's you. They walk away and they tell their friend, that's him. And then they go, oh, that is him. They're calling their friend. Yeah, I saw that dude.

Yeah, you know who? Yeah, nobody knows who. Yeah, him. You know, you, you know. It's like a who's on first that never ends. Yeah, you, you, you, you, you, you. You know, you, you. Dude, it was fire, man.

But yeah, do you feel like though that do you ever, was that your plan from the beginning? Kind of to have a black audience? Or did that just kind of come up? Like, well, you don't, you don't choose your audience. They choose you. Right. I just got on BET early.

Right. That's where you got your, really your break. Yeah. Like I would have to tell a Mundo if I could have spoke Spanish. Yeah. Yeah. You know, you break into this. You just want to, you just want to be funny and get on stage.

Yeah. And I just, my, my every TV appearance was, was BET in the beginning. And for some reason, the movies I got in were black lead actors. Yeah. The only movie I've done that was a all white cast was a movie called College. And it probably did the worst at the box office. Wow. Do you think there's something about you that black people,

that really attracts black culture? Or that like, is it like a, like some, a way that you look or a way that you? Well, I, I, uh, deal, he, he, he, he broke my, my self down to my, myself. Yeah. Yeah. He just said, you know, you, you're authentic. And he said, and your stories are your real life. It's not like you're up there just doing a joke to get a laugh.

Like you're really telling, like you really went to a black church. Right. Like your joke was that experience from your perspective. Right. You know, and I think, I think a lot of times too, I'm not putting down people. I'm just saying it's different. Right. You know, there's no put down.

Cause there's, I don't, I tell you what, what gets on my nerves when I see white stand-ups going from a black audience and just completely put down white people. Right. You know what I mean? Oh, I hate that. Just to get on the, on black, and I even seen some black people in the audience be like, dude, we don't think like that. Right.

Like we don't hate white people. What are you talking about? You know what I mean? Right. That shit. I'd be like this, dude, stop. Yeah, what do you do? Yeah, it sounds so.

It just, it makes my skin crawl. Well, that's half of LA these days, man. I feel like I get off, like if I get on stage, there's a lot of so many comedians who are like, you know, like apologizing for their white privilege and shit like that. And that's fine if someone feel like that it was that big of a thing in their life, you know, where somebody came in their room and they were young and were like, hey, you're white, you know, we're going to be all good. I've had more issues of white males in my life than black dudes.

All the black dudes have been cool. Yeah. The white dudes in my life, I'm like, what the fuck? Get away from my stepdad. I can't stand that motherfucker, man. Good Lord. But yeah, my stepdad was every bad black stereotype. Really?

Every, you know, people, you know, black guys are lazy. I'm like, no, Rod's lazy. Classic. Black guys can get a job. They don't want to get no job. No, Ron can get a job. Who the fuck are you talking about? My stepdad, every time I heard of a bad stereotype about black males,

it's my stepdad. That's hilarious. I was like, he's worse than all this shit. That's hilarious. Who are you describing right now? Early on, did you have a lot of stories like in your standup that with black culture? Is that why you think they like? Well, when I started in San Diego, I was trying to get on the comedy store and the

Hoya and everything. But, you know, with open mic, you're lucky to get up, you know, the open mic night was Sunday nights. And then that was it. And then I was like a couple of black guys in the Navy with told me about all these other spots I could get on stage, but you had to go where the black people were. You know, a lot of mainstream comics, they don't want to do that. And I was like, where?

Okay, I'll go there. I was just naive to everything. Right. And then, and then I would start doing like karaoke bars. Like I would, if I couldn't get on stage, I would go like a karaoke and it was a mic and it was speakers. Right. And I was like, instead of singing, I would tell jokes.

And they like, people got to know me like, oh, that's the funny dude. He's not going to sing. He's going to tell some jokes. Oh, that's pretty cool. You know what I mean? I would do like musical bits and not singing. Right. My jokes was about music.

I remember, and it's not a very good joke. So you might lose some listeners. Oh, we won't. I make enough shitty jokes during the podcast. Yeah, my, my, I remember my, my first joke. I'd always tell the karaoke bars was about Janet Jackson. I'd be like, I go, have you guys noticed like Janet Jackson? Like her first song was, uh, let's wait a while.

I go then her second album. The song was, um, uh, come back to me. I said, well, fuck you told him to wait. And now you're telling him to come back. I go, now this latest album was any time, any place. I go, somebody turned that motherfucker out. You know what I mean? And then that like opened up like, oh, okay.

He's just talking shit about musicians. So a lot of it was just like whatever songs was hot. Yeah. I'll just make fun of them at the karaoke spots. Do you think that you, um, are actually white and you have to like be black in the morning when you get up? You know what I'm saying though, kind of? What do you mean? Like if we like move the switch on the back of you and be like,

well guys, I hope everything's going well. No, what am I like, Caitlyn Jenner? Like deep down, I know I'm black, but there's no surgery to fix it. Like God, I wish I could just switch this up a little bit. No, it works for me being the, uh, being like the, I don't want to say fish out of water because I am kind of a fish out of water, but I'm very comfortable in the water. I'll say it like that.

Yeah. I've never, I don't know. Like a lot of times I think we feed into what the media tells us. Yeah. When, and that's not been in my experience. Like, oh yeah, dude. I don't let, yeah. I mean, my day to day dealings with people.

Uh, I don't, I don't see too many people just out and out hating somebody else because of their skin color alone. Yeah, totally. Now I, I mean, I'm more scared of white guys with tattoos on their face and pants sagging. Yeah. These days it's starting to change. Well dude, I'm scaring more. I'm scared.

What I'm scared of is some of, you know, with a lot of, um, you know, people of different cultures, especially when you have black and white people having children, you're going to start, you start to get a lot of soft black dudes, man. I'm serious, bro. These grays, bro. I've seen a couple. Why are you talking about what, man, dude, you keep me talking about my kids, man. I'm just saying, bro, I saw some of these, some of these mixed kids.

They're fucking slow. It's like, oh, welcome. You wanted white shit? You got it, man. Welcome to these fucking layups. Enjoy these layups. Well, that's the problem when you are mixed because the black and you says dunk it, the white uses pass it out and you're just fucking confused.

Then you become Steph Curry. Just shoot threes, take it to the hole. No, you got to share. But the black is more fucking throwing that shit down, bitch. Dude, we had, we had a, we had a black guest in here. We were talking about getting scared. Who was it? Donnell Rawlings.

And I've always felt like that black people don't get nervous. I always felt like, didn't you ever? On stage? No, period. Like, did you ever, like white people always felt like we have like a thing where we get nervous and like black people don't have that. Like, I remember asking him, I'm like, dude, do you guys get nervous? Like it just doesn't.

Well, the thing about is white people have way more skeletons in their closet than black people. Right. You know, black people like historically, especially in this country, their history is laid out there. Yeah. White people, we did a lot of dirty shit, but we don't want to talk about it. Yeah. We did some dirty, like I was just in Tulsa a couple of weeks ago and I found out about Black Wall Street. You heard about that?

Uh-uh. In 2021, it'll be the 100th anniversary and it was like this 36 block area of Tulsa that black people were flourishing. Like they had supermarkets and doctor's office and clubs and restaurants and big homes. They were like living in a bubble and all of a sudden, this black teenager got called with this white girl and they didn't even call do anything. They just got caught together alone in a building and all the white people came after this black teenager and the sheriff was like, no, the white girl's not President George and he didn't do anything wrong. The white girl's not President George and he didn't do anything wrong and this mom mentality happened

and they just started like literally murdering black people like on their front porches. Jesus. And they looted the businesses and then the like National Guard came in and bombed Black Wall Street like completely bombed it and it was like for what? Yeah. And then the like, I'm sitting, I'm like, I never even heard of this. And then this girl like gave me an entire breakdown of what happened and then she said, what's crazy about the aftermath is like there'd be like black women walking down the street

years later and they'd see a white lady with like her watch on or her necklace and you just, what are you going to do? You can't do anything. Oh, that was from one of their stores? Their store or their house. Oh, wow. You know what I mean? Yeah.

And it was like, it's a dirty part of American history and I'm, I would put money because it's coming off the 100th anniversary. There'll be a movie or a TV show about it. Oh, yeah. Soon. Yeah. Because I just heard, I was like, what? How did I hear about?

I've heard the term black Wall Street. I just didn't know what it meant. Do you think sometimes that too many movies and media want to like, or just making money even more off of just rehashing a bad past instead of like finding solution and stuff and moving forward? Yeah. I mean, it's part of our history though. So it happened.

Do you feel like sometimes though, it's like they don't always give like every side of the story feels like sometimes there's only just just one side of a story, you know, sometimes it's like at a certain point, aren't they just using black people again? Like by, by using these stories just to make money when a lot of people are, it feels to me like a lot of people are moving forward and a lot and sometimes it's just like a regurgitation of, you know, like, how many times can you make people that currently like a slave movie? You're making another slave movie.

Sometimes. Yeah. It's like, at what point do you say, look, let's just make a movie. Just, you know, how many times do we have to, do we have to do this same exact movie? You know. Yeah. Yeah. I mean.

It's like, because then they're just using black people again, because I'm sure it's a lot of white ownership that owns these studios to then once again make money. But this time they're doing it under the guise of that we're helping black America. I mean, there's definitely a disconnect between the powers that be that are the head of these studios, you know, because they don't, they just don't know. No, they, you know, that's like, we're standups. I don't, this is what I get about standups. And we were talking about sitcoms and everything else is, is, you know, the state of sitcoms

is so bad right now, because I, if I'm the head of a network, I want to take a standup that's on the road, grinding, because I feel like they have the pulse of what the country is going through, especially the flyover states. And you got guys in New York and LA, they don't, they're not in Nebraska. Right. They're in Iowa. They don't know what's making those people tick. Oh, and not only that, but then these same networks go and make fun of those people.

And they like, didn't that like, you know, it just seems like a lot of times that good people who haven't done a lot of stuff wrong have really been through enough, but these, but it's just like, how many times are we going to bring stuff up that something I didn't do, something I didn't have a part of, and I would never be a part of, you know, but it's like, I mean, I don't know. Did you watch Central Park? Did you watch, I haven't seen it yet. I want to see it.

I want to see it. I'm never, there was, there's, Ava did something cool with that. Is, you know, it definitely was those four boys got railroaded. Yeah. That's what I heard. But you also see when, when one of them goes to pray, one of them really had a bad, Corey Wise was one of them. Like he, he got it the worst and he didn't do anything.

He just went to go support his friend at the police station, basically. Wow. And they brought him in and he's the one that caught the worst at the most time, had the roughest time, but they showed how one guard and at Rikers was kind of a dick to him and, and was using them and he had to give him like all this extra shit to protect them, basically. And I don't know what that guy was, he mixed or black, I don't know. But then when he got transferred, there was a white guard that really looked out for him.

You know, was fair, gave him bookstreet news and solitary, you know what I mean? And, and it was just a, and it was never brought up. It's not like the white cop helped me. It was just there. And like, I thought it was cool how she made that apparent. You know, to me, I noticed it. I don't know if anybody else did, but I noticed it.

Right. You got a kid that don't trust anybody. It's been railroaded by the white people. But it was the white guard that would kind of went like, it was similar to like in Hurricane with Denzel. Remember the white guard was the one that was like happy for him when he got exonerated. The, and he was like looking out for him a little bit in the prison. I don't remember that part.

I mean, I believe it. I just remember it. It was the guy, it was the guy from, God, what is his name? He's in a lot of freaking movies, man. My favorite movies then was bad boys, not with Will Smith, the one with Sean Penn, when he was a teenager in prison. You see that one came out like 81. Uh-uh.

That's a great. I was one years old. Yeah. But it comes out. I saw the Wizard of Oz. It came out in 46. Yeah. That's a good point.

That's a good point. There's a movie. You can't see him, Theo. Just because you was one. Dude, I was one. What is it? I don't see movies in four nights. I didn't, I don't want you to picture me walking in in the fucking theater.

No, bad boys. Look up bad boys with Sean Penn. That's a great fucking movie, man. Really? I love Sean Penn, man. 83. 83. Let's check it out.

Great flick, dude. Brutal, though. Fuck it. That guy with the blonde hair, curly hair, dude. Yeah. What's his name? Rini Santorini? That's not him.

Santoni? No, he's got a normal name. Lisa Morales? Clancy Brown. Is that? No. His name's Clant. That fucking guy's name is Clancy Brown.

What's his name in the movie, do you know? I don't know. He was the blonde hair guy. There was a picture of him. You guys went away from it. The blonde hair curly guy. That guy. His name's Clancy Brown?

That's Clancy Brown. Yeah, you know who that is? He was in, yeah, Shawshank. He was the guard in Shawshank. It was bad. But he was in Hurricane. Wow. He looked out for Denzel in Hurricane.

That guy's a great actor. He plays a lot of prison guards, evidently. Clearly. Shawshank was a bad one. Bad boys, he was one of the gangsters. He was one of the kids in there because it's, Sean, it's about guys going to this terrible Juvie home. I could watch a bad boy.

Man, bad boys is good, man. I could watch bad boys. I would watch that. Do you feel like when something's released in black culture, you're like, oh, fuck, I got to watch this. No, I bet. Why am I not in it? Yeah.

When I see a white guy in a black movie, I'm like, really? Yeah. He can't promote like that. Yeah. He can't promote like I could promote. You know what I mean? It's funny because, you know. Do people think you were in movies that you were not in?

Oh, it's Malibu's Most Wanted. Yeah. They think it was in Malibu's Most Wanted. Like, we was talking this year, but I was like, some people think I'm in power right now. Mice and Men of Maisha and Men. I could see you in that. No, as any of the movies, I, oh, there was a movie called

The Breaks with Mitch Mulaney. People think I was the lead in that. Really? Yeah. He passed away like 10 years ago. I could see that, man. I'm trying to think of some other people. People think you're Darren Carter if you got an HGH.

I know that sometimes. Nah, I don't like nothing like Darren. Darren started in San Diego. Dude, Darren's funny, man. You put Darren in front of a big crowd, bro. I don't know anybody that could kill us hard, man. He kills, bro. I can't.

That's fine. Like this. He murders, man. That's fine. No, when I started stand-up in San Diego, it was funny. The first couple of times I would go to the comic store and sit in the back and just watch.

I remember it was like Bobby Lee, Darren Carter was that crew. And I remember Darren one time went up and got a heckler and destroyed him. And I went, oh my God, this is the one. First time you see a comic live, deal with a heckler, you're like, I got to work on some shit. I got to go home right now.

I would have left. Yeah. I got to find out who my real dad is. Yeah. First time you see a comic do like an hour strong. You're like, holy fuck. Like five minutes. When you first start, that five minutes seems like three hours.

Oh, dude, it's so. And you're like, oh, that third joke is going to kill us here. Only you only have three. You're like, I want you to get to that third one. You got no right or left either. You can't take a right turn. You're like, this is it. I'm working on this in the mirror.

Yeah. One guy drops a glass during your first joke and it ruins your whole night, ruins your whole drive home. You don't even acknowledge the crowd. Yeah. Like you are on autopilot. Like literally 9-11 could happen. You're just going through the building.

If there was a, there was like an open microphone at like a corporate event during 9-11, he would not have acknowledged the building's fault. He would have still been like, so then my daughter. Shit. Right. Nice dance, you know, he wouldn't even acknowledge it open mic. Two more minutes.

Yeah. Did they light me? Oh, that's just a fire department coming. We got some news topics. Let's get into a few, Nick. Sure. First up, it's been kind of a recurring story on this podcast, but the leader of the nexium quote unquote sex cult

was convicted on all charges this morning. They got him. Where's that at? It was in LA. Okay, the Allison Mack. That guy was the lead? Yeah. Is that Elizabeth Warren's daughter?

First of all. That guy was the lead of a sex cult. Yeah. Yeah, we had someone from the sex cult on the podcast that I booked. And the sex cult cured his? Tourette's. Tourette's.

But the reason we didn't know, we, yeah, we only booked him because he had Tourette's and we brought him in here and the whole time he thought it was a setup and we were going to ask him about the sex cult, but then it came out throughout the interview. And yeah, so we've just learned more about it. And we had Michael Rosenbaum in,

who was cast members with Allison Mack, who was also, she caught charges in this. Now, what about this? He branded him? Huh? Well, look, dude, you can't have people, look, you can't have your sex culties getting into the neighbor's sex cult.

Dude, good lord. I'm just saying, man, you can't have, you know. I'm just amazed that this guy was the leader. Bro, if Brenda jumps for fence, you gotta know, you know, here's what I'm going to ask you here is, would you think about that R. Kelly sex cult, man? What was going on? I know you're, you know, you got your whole life

on the pulse of black culture. So what do you, what was going on there? Cause you're in the Midwest here in Cincinnati. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's just- Did you know it was going on over the years? Not till the, the piss tape came out. But that was 15 years ago.

You know, but R. Kelly had the deep pockets. Like he had a lot of the- Were you getting paid off? No, no. I didn't even get tickets to his concert. Nothing. No, I bought 12 play like everybody else. Okay, me too.

No, he, you know, he had a lot of the Chicago PD in his pocket. And then when the money wasn't there, can't help you. All of a sudden, now everybody's got lawsuits and tapes coming out. But I watched this survive in R. Kelly and I was more like, those parents, the two girls now that he has, those parents brought those girls around. That's like famous a drug man. They brought their dogs around going, no, he was, you know,

he was exonerated, you know, he wasn't guilty. I'm like, really? There's a tape. But there's such a night, right. And there's such a night. There seems to be this strange naivety amongst parents almost, because the same thing happened with the, with the Michael Jackson, you know, with him, with the families,

just repeatedly bringing the kids around, knowing the kids were like in very precarious situations. Like as a parent, right. But as a parent, do you see how that kind of, I mean, how, how, how could something like that kind of happen? Like some parents famous intoxicating, and you're almost in awe. I mean, think about a religious figure.

I mean, Michael Jackson was as close as you can get to like, Daniel the Pope. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, holy shit, the, the, the biggest star on earth likes my, likes my family wants to hang out. The weird thing about the surviving Neverland, which I don't believe, some of it I didn't believe.

I think they were indulging some of it. But the fact that Mike would just go to somebody's house in like the valley. Yeah. Just be walking down the street. Can you imagine doing the dishes like, oh, Michael Jackson, walking down the street. Just checking the mail.

What the fuck? That's a boy. Yeah. That's a boy right there. That's you. That's you. No, that's you, you. You and the Billy G.

Yeah, that's you thriller. That's Billy G out here, man. Where your coat at? Yeah. Um, I was on stage actually doing an open mic here in LA at Westwood Brewing Company. This is probably maybe 13 years ago. And there's a window outside that goes to the alley.

And across from that, there's an Oz, A-A-H-H-S costume shop. And Michael Jackson pulled up there one night with his kids and got out of a car after hours. Then they let him into the costume shop. And he was just in there buying stuff and then got back into their car and left. Yeah. I was on stage, man.

It's crazy. And I literally looked out the window and I was like, oh, Michael Jackson's out there with his children going into the costume store. That's fucking crazy. I thought I would get to meet him. I had a development deal with Quincy Jones. And we had it for two years.

And we just couldn't get the show off the ground for whatever reason. But I was always over at Quincy's house trying to develop and everything. And I kept just thinking, I know I'm going to go there one day and Mike's just going to be there. Wow. I know it.

And Quincy's got the best stories. Does he? And you know, he's not lying. Some people, like in Dulles, like that Michael Jackson story, I don't know if I really believe you. Yeah. I mean, like, I trust you. I barely believe me.

But I'm like this. I think that might have been Jackie. Yeah. That was Tito. It was not Mike, dude. Sounds good. I'm just kidding. But Quincy's stories, you know he's telling the truth.

He's talking about Frank Sinatra and the rat pack and shit like this. I just couldn't get enough of it. Because half the time I was with Quincy, it would be like we'd be trying to put a show together. But the show would take 15 minutes. And then it'd be a two hour session of him just talking about life and shit that he's seen

and everything else. You know what I mean? I was like. He'd been through a lot, huh? I mean, he's seen it all. He's seen it all. MJ, all of it. What about, where was that?

I heard this maybe a couple years ago that you and Cat Williams had an investment or something together. I don't know if it was a food or a restaurant. Nope. I want to say what a burger or something. But I'm not sure. The only person I ever asked me to invest in a restaurant

was Nick Lachey. Really? He opened up the bar of Lachey's. And he tried to get it. And he opened the bar in the restaurant. But he was trying to get all like Cincinnati investors. So he got like a couple of the reds and the bingles and other people in there.

And it just, when I talked to my accountant, he was just like restaurants are not a good investment. We're not doing that. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to put any that amount of money for that. But you and so you and Cat Williams never did like a what a burger or anything like that?

What did I hear? I don't know where you hear that at. Have you ever worked with Cat Williams or met him? Yeah. Yeah. Every black comic I know, trust, I've worked with every one of them. Wow. What is Cat Williams like?

Because I saw him one time, right? He was riding on a bicycle with that. Had those, it had like these kind of lights in the wheels down Sunset Boulevard with a couple of other guys. Oh, really? Yeah. Cats. He's, he reminds me of a kid kind of.

He marches to the beat of his own drum without question. Like, you know, he got realized I've known cats as 98. Wow. So that's when he first, he had one tooth in the front, you know? And then, but he was, it was crazy. Cat always rolled like he was a huge star. Even when he was like featuring, he had a bodyguard. Wow.

Even when he got on JetBlue, he had a bunch of fake chains on. Like he was rolling like, I'm the guy just waiting for it. Yeah. And then when he got Friday, the second Friday, it was like that part was written for him. But nobody else could play that. You know, I mean, other people could, but. It was him.

It was all him. You know what I mean? So he always rolled like, and he did one of the, and I've said this on stage, he did one of the coolest things a comic ever did for me after a show. And we were in Austin, Texas, and it literally was a two, it might have been one other person, but it was me and Cat on the show. And it was a weird time in his career because six months prior, we had to Kent State. And he was bubbling like people knew him, but kind of knew him right.

And then all of a sudden I got this contract and we were at the basketball arena where the University of Texas plays. I go, why would we be there? I'm thinking me and Cat are good for like 1500 seats, not 10,000. Right. And I get there and I go, oh, fuck, this guy popped in six months. Right. Wow.

So. Was that pretty crazy to see? What was it like to kind of witness something like that? You're just like, it happened. I don't really think about. Did you even think it could happen? Was it the first time you kind of saw something like that happen? Yeah, I was like, you're more like how, like what, what was it that made him pop?

Because I think we're, every now and it happens, like with Tiffany Haddish and Girls Trip, there's that one role that people just boom. Yeah. But I think it's more now you just pepper people. You keep peppering them. And then hopefully then. Then you make them. Yeah.

Yeah. Then you make them right. But I don't know. I, you know, Friday had been out for a couple of years and then the HBO special came out and whatever he just popped. And it was crazy. So we, we get done with the show. And then my limo, we had two separate limousines.

So my buddies were in town and I was like, I asked my driver and said, yo, can I get the limo for a couple more hours? And he was like, it's 300 bucks. And I was like, all right. So I tried to give him cash and he wouldn't take it. He goes, I need a credit card. And I go, but it's cash. You ain't got to tell nobody to just take it.

He'll do it. I can't company policy. As I'm having the discussion, Kat pulled up and he goes, Hey Gary, what's going on? You going out? What are you doing? I said, yeah, I'm going out for a couple of hours. I said, my driver said he don't take cash. He needs a credit card.

And Kat goes, hold on. He took my driver around the back of his limo. And to this day, I don't know how much money he gave my driver. All I know is Kat walked by me and this is all he said. He goes, he's yours for the evening, Gary. Enjoy your night. Oh, yes, they do accept cash. And he just laughed and I went, thanks.

I had never had service like this in my life. That dude, I think he pulled in the club. We went to the club and we were in it. Well, I saw it out front. I saw it here. You know what I mean? And then the guy was there the next while I went. I got back to the room, went to bed, woke up.

He was still standing in front of the car. I go, how much money did Kat give this guy? But it was just cool like that. But I heard Kat was notorious for like the $100 handshakes. Like he tips somebody to just be a hunter in their hand. Yeah, he just loves that lifestyle. He loves to be able to help out. He loves to be able to, it's just something he likes to do.

He's a pimp. You know what I mean? He really is, yeah. But you don't know what Kat you're getting sometimes. I've personally, I've never seen the wild bad Kat. Oh, it could be. Yeah, it could be a house cat. It could be an alley cat.

It could be a house cat. It could be a saber-toothed type. Yeah, you don't know what you're getting that day. But I've never had any real issues with any comics like as far as confronting me or. What about trap house stuff? Because I know, you know, they have a lot of black trap house activity. Have you ever been involved in anything? Nope.

Well, damn, dude. I'm fresh Prince Black, man. Oh, you are. I don't know, what's you, I ain't, this ain't the wire. Oh, damn, look. What the fuck you said, trap house activity? I'm just trying to say. Yeah, man, I'm leaving here.

Dude, I'm just. That's why I find a lot of comics hustle merch. I hustle Coke after my shows. Dude, tell me everything you know, man. I want to know about LeVar Ball, okay? Do you think LeVar Ball cares about his children? That's what I want to know. Yeah, they're mixed.

Like you said, watered down. If that dude was all black, God, Lonzo would be a beast. You imagine? Well, first of all, he would have never traded them. He would have never traded them. Yeah, they would have never traded them. There's no way. LeBron, who? The other one is a legit.

Lamello. Yeah, Lamello, dude. That's a soda. Okay. Yeah, I know, right? Mellow yellow. Don't you miss good, like when I was growing up, they had wild black names, Blizzard.

Dude, we had. I've never met a Blizzard in my life. You met a Blizzard in the south, man. We had a Blizzard. Magma, Magma Jackson. Yep, Magma, Quincidence. Okay, go to Facebook and find me fucking Magma Jackson. Find me Blizzard.

I was taking Theo's word for it. Pull up, go to Facebook and just pull up Blizzard. Well, if any names pop up, like if you put up Mary Jones, there's going to be a million Mary Joneses that come down. See how many people are named Blizzard? It's Blizz Wilson or Zard Wilson. He's not real. Come on, Blizzard.

Come on, Blizzard. Theo's like, fuck, come on, Blizz. Oh, it's not coming up. Nick, well, let's get to some other news then. We have two patriots. Look, we all know Theo's from Boston, right? Theo went to private school. Where's Blizzard at?

Oh, we're looking for a first name Blizzard. Yeah, yeah. Well, that could be him down there that's Terence Blizzard. Blizzard Jackson, there we go. There he is. Oh, he's on Myspace. Even Facebook's like, dude. Yeah, broke the search.

Look, you know what's going to come up? Theo's lying. They might go, he might go about BJ. Just put in BJ and see what comes up. Blizzard Jackson. Oh, shit. There you go. Gang, gang, boy.

He's white. Blizzard Jackson's white as fuck. We don't know. That's just, I mean, look, he can bet anybody's. I think it's like Sammy Sosie. He's got all black friends. All black friends. Got 17 friends.

It seems like about him, kind of. He was very much kept to himself. Did you really know he got named Blizzard Jackson? 100%. From, where is he from? BJ, they called him. He's from Slidell, Louisiana. Slidell's outside of New Orleans, right?

Yep, they called him Blizz. Some people call him Blizz, some people call him Zard. Magma Jackson? And I'm not going to say they were related, but I would just say that a similar last name. What about Quincidence Carter? Oh, man, he must have passed. I definitely, I definitely spelt that wrong.

Damn it. And you might have passed. All these people, Theo's talking about like, not ringing the bell. I think it has a couple of cues in it. Let's get to some more news. What else do we have, Nick? We actually also have a couple of Patreon questions for Gary.

Okay, let's get to that, then. Question, you got it. You got it. All right, cool. Question one from John Page. Gary, do you feel like you have a sort of special permission to dive deeper into jokes that analyze black culture because your wife is African-American?

Yeah, of course. Oh, shit. Yeah. Like I said, the black people trust me. Yeah. You know, I'm a friend. I'm a friend when they come in. Then you got to start playing the middleman, dude,

as if there's any miscommunications, you know? I'm here, just white America don't know yet. Okay. That's why when you said questions, you got two. Okay. We got two questions for Gary. Well, we actually had a lot, but we only picked, I picked two of these.

And the second one was from Dalton Wyndham. It was, what was the craziest thing you've ever seen happen at a comedy club? Uh, crazy, oh man. Most of it's in the early days because when you're open mic and you're hitting bars, I used to do some wild shit. For me personally, I threw an egg roll at you.

No, I got a, I got, I got escorted. I was in Louisville, Kentucky, and it was the night before Thanksgiving, which was a big party night. And this guy named Spike Davis had a one night. Look him up. Spike Davis is legit. You're going to find Spike Davis.

I'll look him up, dude. Watch, watch how fast Spike Davis pulls up. Bam. Holy shit. And he's from Louisville. What the fuck? Okay. Okay.

We'll accept Spike Davis. Oh yeah. No, you can Google Spike Davis. He's right there. Spike Davis. Where? Carnival Cruise Line. Comedian at Carnival.

Comedian. He's doing cruise lines now? Yeah. Yeah, that's him. Look, the University of Louisville. That's Spike. My shit pops up. I don't know who you be lying to, Leo.

But this guy, okay, to this guy, Spike Davis, he had a Wednesday night in Louisville. And the problem with his show was, there was, you know, you're on, the chairs are on a dance floor. And the later it gets, the night turned into a club. So the comedy is supposed to start at eight. It should be over by 10.

So people get, well, the show starts late. Then on the headliner, so I'm going up late. So by the time I hit the stage, pushing 10, 30, 10, 45. So people start to come in that want to go party. So you're fighting these, that, you know, the people here are laughing, but the people are here, they're ready to party. They're like, get this fucking dude off the stage.

We're in a party. So you're dealing with it. So I start getting hecklers. So I'm having fun with this one guy. Like we're going back and forth. And it's actually galvanizing the crowd because now everybody's in on it. But I said, hey, man, why don't you come on stage?

Man, we can play to dozens. You know, not knowing. Two people didn't like me. So I turn around and I, for me to you, there was two brothers, Gold Fronts, didn't like they have shit to lose. They were just on the stage. And I went, oh shit.

I jumped off the stage into the DJ booth. And I still had the mic. Back then I get, dude, when your life's in danger. Yeah, you can jump. Watch, watch Peter Parker. So I'm still got the mic talking shit through him, right? And they're getting upset. So they literally, they escorted them out.

I didn't know they had undercover people in the club. Right. Police officers, they escort the guys out. They literally, I'm not lying. They had me ducking down, took me out of back door and got in a car and the guy had his pistol out, driving me to the hotel. And I was like, well, I was like, what the fuck's going on?

I go, dude, we're just playing safe. I think they were just, they didn't tell me. Clearly those guys were trouble. Yeah. So they was like, we're just playing it safe, you know, take back the hotel. So I get back to the hotel and they go, they were going to have somebody sit in the parking lot

until I left the next day. I go, dude, I'm leaving tonight. So there's dude file. And I was living in sincey. So it's just like an hour or two or drive. Is this the underground railroad dude? No. So the dude follow me, literally he followed me back

till I got on 75. And then I got, once I got on the highway, he like flags, flashes lights and he veered off. And then I just drove back home. I was like, what the fuck was all that? Why does spike call me like after the weekend and goes, hey, man, they love you down here, man. They want you back.

I was like, I will never be back in that fucking club. But back then he waited like four days. Like I'm going to forget. I got to escort it out. Hey, man, they love you down here. He never brought up. I got to escort it out. Dudes rush the stage.

They love you down here, man. They want you back. I will never be back in your club, bro. Never. Now I got sucker punched in Detroit after a show. Oh, wow. Dude, you're out there. I've been doing it.

I've been doing it 20 years. This is minor shit. Yeah, that's true, actually. And all this shit happened early. None of this shit has happened in the last 10 years, right? Yeah. So I'm in Detroit. And after my show, I go to this place called the Lyceum, right?

I'm not lying. Like, I'm gonna throw shit at them like this. I'm not lying. Look, all my shit is legit. You can find Lyceum nightclub in Detroit, Michigan. Yeah, let's see if that's a real thing. I don't know how you spell it. I don't know how you spell it.

Lyceum was the name. Detroit. Look at Lyceum Hanson, too. A kid I went to junior high with. Come just say him, man. He's out there. Oh, they never heard of it. It says right there.

Uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. Watch how that shit pops up. I mean, Kim got his 10 years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it never happened. There's pictures of it, man. That ain't, dude, that could be anything, man. You're spelling it wrong. It was an S.

There's an S in it. This fucking guy don't want to spell. That's your problem. Oh, he's fine, dude. That guy is doing fine, dude. Dude, it's called Lyceum. E-lyceum? I think it was an E in the front.

No, who gives it to him? They are the front, E in the front. No, fuck this. E-lyceum. Eceum lounge. Oh my god, Gary told the truth again. So anyways, closed. All right, so I'm at Elyceum lounge.

This thing got three stars, dude. Hey, shut up. Look, it was after my show, we go to Elyceum, right? And when I walked in, these three girls was like, Gary, can we get a picture? I was like, yeah, so take a picture with them. Then go to the bar. I got my buddy Reggie and his wife, right?

So the bartender comes and goes $125 for three drinks. I was like, what? I go, how much are the drinks? They go, well, those girls said you were buying their drinks too. Without even looking at the girls, I looked at the bartender, I go, oh, I'm not buying no bitches drinks here tonight. And all of a sudden I turned around, the girl's like, you call us a bitch?

And I was like, no, I said bitches per se, like bitches. But I never got to say that. I don't know where these fists came from, but these dudes went, bing, bing, bing. Like I got hit three times. For men? Yeah, over the girls, right? I don't even know who the dudes were to this day, right?

And I literally just hit my buddy Reggie. I go, let's go, man, this place is wack. So I just walked out of the club. Now I'm in the car and I'm in the rear view mirror, like looking like this to make sure I'm not cut up. I'm fine. And then his wife comes out, Reggie's wife comes out, her girlfriend.

She's like, she's hysterical. She goes, yeah, you all right? I say, yeah, yeah, I go, what happened? She goes, that was like the funniest and scariest shit. They say, because you were getting hit, but still talking. Oh, yeah. It happens so fast. So really, I was like, I ain't calling by a bitch.

Let's go, Reggie. This place is wack. And all I was thinking was I was on, I just got hired to be on House of Pain that's how it appears. Oh, you want to get in trouble? I didn't start filming yet. I didn't want to show up dotted up.

There was nothing in my, in me that said fight back or figure out what's going on. It just said, get the fuck out. Yeah. You know, this could get worse. And I just, I'm just so glad they didn't have any marks on me. I did have a knot up here. They got me pretty good on top, but I ducked.

I got punched by a guy on steroids and hit with a fence board once at Mardi Gras by a guy. Did you just start talking? Do you? No, it's just, I got, no, I got hit. Do you get more nervous, man? If you're like in an all black environment, do you get nervous sometimes?

Not at all. Yeah. I don't really get nervous anymore. You just, I wish I could get that feeling when I first started doing stand up. Oh, nervous on stage? Just the drive to the comedy club or wherever you're about to perform.

I wish I could get that feeling again. Yeah. Because I felt like you just felt like your senses was on 20. You didn't want to hear nothing. You couldn't talk to anybody in the car. You're just, you're so, I wish I could get that feeling. Like the open mic days. God, it was such a good feeling inside.

And it's so funny that you're so scared them and you can't go back to that fee. You can't just can't go back in. Is nobody get back there really? Yeah. It's, it's like, it almost felt like when you were playing high school football, like before the game started.

Yeah, I remember that. It's the closest feeling I've had to that. You know what I mean? So it's like nowadays you just, it's, you know, you're not like nervous. You're just like, okay, it's a job. Back then, it's not about ticket prices. It's not about ticket sales.

It's not about what the check is. It's just straight. It's about the show. I want these people to laugh at these jokes. I hope these jokes work. Yeah. Now there's so much else that goes with it. You're looking at your guy.

Did you count the room? Yeah. All right. What kind of percentage deal we got? Yeah, this ain't Teriyaki chicken. Right. We gotta say, where's my, This ain't fucking Teriyaki chicken.

Back then you're like this. Plastic Cambodian? Yeah. You guys don't have a censure? Yeah. The fuck? Am I drinking Fiji? Fake Cambodians, dude.

Camphodians, bro. Hey, let's take this question that came right here for you, Gary Owen. What's up, Gary? What's up, Theo Gangang? What's it like being a Bengals fan? I can name two Bengals players ever. Chad Ocho Senko and the Endangered Species quarterback.

So I just want to know what's that like, man. Tyler Eifert, Icky Woods. You ever met Icky? Mm-hmm. Icky's a good dude. Still isn't sincey. Does he? Mm-hmm.

He had a, he had a, he tried to dance like his son, some was a really good high school football player and passed away, had like some weird asthma attack or something. Came out of nowhere. Like it shouldn't have killed him. Yeah.

He passed away. Icky's a good dude. Listen, man. I don't know how the fuck I don't know two Bengals. Tyler Eifert. The greatest offensive tackle in the NFL was Anthony Munoz. Yeah. Like, and that is not even up for debate.

Yeah. So suck a cock, dude. Well, I mean, yeah. Not just kidding. No, everybody knows that. No, it's fine, but he's not a position player. He's not like, you know. Yeah.

It's tough being a Bengals fan, man. It's like an abuse relationship. It's like, I can Tina Turner. Just keep coming back for more abuse. Yeah. But we got a new coach, got a regime, you know. I tell you, I caught a lot of little flack last year because I did a video.

I was kidding. And I did a video like, hey, Bengals, front office. You think I can maybe take care of me this year if I want to go to a game? Or I'm like one of the few. It's like, literally me and Nick Lachey are the only two people out there that are vocal about being Bengals fans.

Yeah. That are on TV and are out there in entertainment. And I called for tickets one time and they said no. And I went, really? Like my publicist called. She goes, this has never happened, Gary. Like they just said no. And then the guys sent like an eight page email explaining

why they could not leave me tickets to the game. And there was 8,000 empty seats at the stadium. And I went, you got to be kidding me. And then the players start DMing me like, we'll leave you tickets, like the players, right? Hilarious. And then it's not about buying the tickets. It's just like, that's your squad.

Yeah. You rep them. You go on the NFL network, ESPN, they know. You think they can start some love. Like Gary's the Bengals guy. Yeah, they know everything. They should know everything that's going on. Well, I mean, that's what you do.

Like, if you see like Seattle, they got a 12th man. Seattle has a suite, the Seahawks, where when their celebs come in that are Seahawks fans, they put them in this suite and go to Atlanta. You got Samuel Jackson pumping up the Falcons for the game on the big screen and everything. It's like, that's just what you do. You take care of you.

Robert Kraft always takes care of the Boston guys. Right. So today he's got two. Well, they should include something fun and something exciting. Do you feel like? What did they say in the email? What was his?

It was something about revenue sharing, how they can't leave the thing. I go, oh my god. When they went to England three years ago, the Redskins left me tickets. I was like, you got to be kidding me. The Redskins front office was like, yeah, we got you. Left me field passes, tickets.

And I was like, the bingos like, nah. Can't do it. I was like, you got me. And then last year, so the. Do you still go to the games? Yeah, because it's not the, I'm a fan of the bingos. And they're, they, they were at my city and the players have nothing to do with that.

It's just, it's a mom and pops run organization. And, you know, it was crazy because last year, I did a funny video go, hey bingos, you think if I go to a game that you guys maybe can take care of me? And I gave them like a wink, like an Instagram post. So I guess they got a lot of emails from fans going, how do you not take care of our guy?

You know, and then, uh, so they did this. That's what they did. They said, yeah, we're going to leave you tickets and field passes and everything to the first home game, but we're going to do a contest where people are going to send in like their email and then we're going to pick a name to get to go the game with you. I said, great.

So they kind of used it to get people on their email list. They could start sending them like, like packages like, Hey, we got a two game package for you to go to. So then I go to the game with these two fans, had a good time with them and they took care of me. So then I, Pittsburgh, I found I'm going to be in town on like a week's notice and it's the stealer game.

So I sent an email to the girl that was my contact. I go, Hey, uh, I'm going to be in town this week. You think it's cool if I come to the game? She goes, Oh no, this game's way too popular. I went, wow. So they put you in your place. So I, I posted, damn, really bingles. Guess who called bingles.

I mean, uh, Pittsburgh's front office. Wow. Guess what? I've been tickets to the game. Pittsburgh. The fucking Steelers. Damn. And Steelers like, like, was like, we take care of people.

I was like this, it's a goddamn shame. Wow. And do you think it's because of the color of your skin? No, not at all. It's just how the bingles do business. That's their, they're like, it's not a very good front office. And then, uh, so I had Will Packer coming in town.

He's a Bucks fan and I was very animate with the bingles. Like if I could pick one game, you could take care of me and, and I want to show this guy. This is the one of the top movie producers in the world. I was like, he's a Bucks fan. So me and Will always, he comes to Cincinnati when the Bucks play and I go to Tampa when the bingles play the Bucks in Tampa.

And it's only ever four years because they're in different conferences. And Will was coming and I asked the bingles, you know, and they said, yeah, we got you. They left me row 30 for Will Packer. I went, no way. That's not pretty good, man. That's terrible.

Really? For the one of the biggest producers in, in the world. Movie producers? I don't know. He is, but I don't know who a lot of people are. You don't know Will Packer? Uh-uh. Okay.

He did think like a man, ride along, girl's trip, night school, stompy yard. Oh, wow. Just show, show debut yesterday and on Oprah's network ambitions. Will's like the guy right now. Wow. He's got the big deal with Universal.

Like his, his movies, he's, he doesn't have one L yet. All his movies have made money. Yeah. I don't still know any producers. Oh yeah. I recognize him. Wow. Yeah.

Maybe they're just a little bit behind the time. You think? Yeah. You think? Let's get a couple more. Look, there's, there's his movies. There's all his movies. Wow.

Just a few. We got them hitters, man. Wedding ringer. That sounds bad. What men want? Jacobs, Emmys? Jacobs Ladder. Straight out of Compton.

Straight out of Compton. What's about peeping Tom's? Straight out of Compton. Ride along. I'm in. No good deal. Let's hit, let's uh, what are the news we got, Nick? See, Bella Thorne, her phone was hacked and they found some of

her nudes and she was being threatened. And so she decided to release them on her own and uh, to get out in front of it. And then uh, Whoopi Goldberg was critical of just her taking pictures in the beginning. Oh yeah. And here's what Whoopi had to say. Take them and put them in. Listen, if you're famous, I don't care how old you are. You don't take nude pictures of yourself because-

But she only wanted to share with one person. But she should, listen, when they're hacking you, they're hacking all of your stuff. So whether it's one picture or a million pictures, once you take that picture, it goes into the cloud and it's available to any hacker who wants it. And if you don't know that in 2019 that this is an issue, you, you- I agree with her, I think. Mm-hmm. And then-

I agree with her. A lot of people took issue with that and said like her logic was flawed, like are you never going to buy stuff online because your credit card could get hacked and Bella Thorne put out a tearful response to Whoopi for her victim blaming, essentially. Yeah. Well, it's a, it wasn't, it wasn't that, it was just, I think it was Whoopi's tone. It came across very aggressive. And if she, if she could have said the same thing, it was like, look, I get it.

You wish you could take pictures and send to your husband or your wife. My wife sent me one time, I said, don't ever fucking do that again. Don't do that shit. And she goes, what? I go, don't. I said, dude, you just can't risk it. Yeah. Don't ever send me no new pic.

Dang it. Ever. Draw the one. I went off on her. I said, don't do that shit. Yeah. Last thing I wanted is your shit out there and I got to deal with that. You know what I mean?

Yeah. I was fucking jacking off to my wife and she don't want to do that shit. Get a Polaroid. You know, Blizzard Jackson would have definitely jacked off on my wife. I do, bro. No question. Blizzard. Blizzard's keeping it.

And Genevieve Conquistador, what was the other guy's name? I don't know. Coincidence, Carter. Apparently you guys grew up around some fucking weak fucking powder puff motherfuckers, dude. Yeah. That we can find. I'll say this. That we can find.

People are using electronics and not even thinking about what they do or what they're capable of. I mean, that's one thing. It's like, it's kind of wild that there isn't a class that shows you all the things that actually go on when you have a phone and when you're sending photos to people and all of this, like the transmission, the things that possibly could get stolen, how things could get taken. That almost seems like it should be a course that should be for children these days because

you don't realize the level of the intense power of a phone that you have in your hand. When you send someone a photo, you don't need, you know, yeah, you're not even thinking, oh, it could go out somewhere, but this thing's totally capable of that. You know, you're not even knowing what laws are even attached to it, that they could be taking what you're saying and using it to advertise against you. It seems kind of bizarre. It also seems like, to me, also like Bellathorn seems like a little bit of a fucking nutcase, but so does Wolpe, so I'm not surprised that both of them have that picture.

Well, like I said, that was all her tone. Like she was basically scolding Bellathorn instead of saying, look, it's not your fault at all, but you just got to be careful. You got to realize, once you send those news, you take that risk. Yeah, this isn't you drawing a picture and handing it to somebody, you know? Yeah, for real. So I think that was just all her tone. Yeah, I think that's a good point.

Yeah, I think that's a good point. And any most dramatic actresses are sensitive, sensitive creatures, man. Insane, they also say at a certain point. I worked with that girl on the baby music video and she was... Who, Bellathorn? Yeah, and she was, I mean, she's definitely attractive, but I don't know, I could see anybody, any of those people having like an ego that was just, to me, was astronomical, you know, but then also she's a big star, I guess.

What's her biggest credit? She came up on a Disney show and was doing that for a while and then now she does... She doesn't do like huge studio movies, but she does like the teen stuff like that. But she wasn't in the trap? She was not in the trap now. What about the trap six? I don't know her. What about this?

What else do we have, Nicholas? That's kind of it for news. Yeah? We're at about 95 minutes. Okay, cool. Wow, we're deep, man. That's what I do, man. Time with me just flies by.

Tell me, do you have any good Gary Minkie stories out of Cincinnati or not? Holy shit! How do you know Gary Minkie? Bro, who doesn't know Gary Minkie? For our listeners, Gary Minkie... Holy fuck! You talk about taking me back! How Gary Minkie?

You're gonna get burned eventually. Gary Minkie is a magical little Israelite that like lost half of his house in like, I don't know what happened to him. Fucking Gary Minkie? But he's like a guy who books people... That's a real person. That's not Blizzard Jackson. Oh, sure it is.

Minkie's real. I don't believe anything you say anymore. Gary Minkie... Okay, Gary Minkie was a guy that... Let me tell you the good and bad thing about Gary Minkie. If you were struggling and you had a halfway decent name and said, Gary, I need $500, he would find you a gig somewhere. Somewhere, he'd be like, yo, Dover, Delaware.

Somewhere in America. I got you. Got you. You know what I mean? But just trust you're gonna get burned at some point. Yeah. And Gary burned me New Year's Eve in Orlando. I'll never forget it.

I had probably 2005 or 2006, I bet. So he goes, Gary, man, look, I'm on one New Year's Eve this year. I said, all right, I'm okay, but I'm not really moving tickets enough. I have to be at a comedy club to move tickets. You can't put me at a place where they don't normally see comedy. Okay. You know what I mean? So he books me at some club that has a stage that doesn't do comedy,

but they do shows. Right. I'm thinking 12 people were there, and they kept holding the show, and I go, guys, they're not coming. Like I'm telling the dude that's there, go, a bus is not about to pull up, and 500 people get out. Let's just do this 12 people and get on with it, right? They have a money, right?

The club guy, like, oh, I didn't make no money, man. I'm like, well, my deal is with Mickey. So I'm calling Gary like, yeah, man, we got you. We got you. I got it. I go, Gary, I need something, man. I done. So basically, long story short, I didn't get shit. So I flew down. The only thing Gary got me was the hotel room.

Yeah. You know what I mean? And then it was funny because the guy, his business partner, Gary Mickey is a stumpy white dude. Yeah. So he had this, he had this other black dude that was his, the co-promoter on this with Mickey, right? So the black just want to pick me from the airport.

And when I left, then I go, don't worry about it. I don't need to ride home. I don't need to see. I'll deal with Gary. I don't know you like that, right? So the black guy had to nerve like a year later to show up and call the Tampa improv to say he knows me and wanted tickets to the show. And I go, no, that guy's got to buy tickets.

Oh, damn. So then he buys tickets. So then afterwards, he's coming up. Dang, you're the Cincinnati bankals all of a sudden. Right. Then he comes out afterwards, like, doesn't even bring up the fact you guys still owe me money from New Year's. And he's got like his whole crew with them

and they're taking pictures with me. And he goes, yeah, I'm gonna get one of them t-shirts, man, with the merch shirts. Like my, my Brad's like, I do. I go charge him, right? He was like, so just stared at Brad. Brad was like, you know, 20 offs. It was like a stair off.

Wow. He was like, he looked at me, he looked at Brad. And I go, and I'm like, it's 20 offs for a t-shirt. Like he just didn't want to be embarrassed. He thought he was just going to grab some shit for his people. Like we're boys. Like, dude, did you forget? What happened?

You fucking didn't pay me? That's minky, bro. You know? I haven't worked with Mickey since, but you know. Oh, he's a legend. He's a legend. Yeah, especially in that part of the country. Yeah.

Tampa to Richmond to Omaha. Florida up to the Midwest, Missouri, the stray animal belt. Yeah. That guy, man, I can't believe you don't do gear making. Dude, I'll tell you this, Gary got the best story ever, man. He had, you know, Gary used to carry a bunch of tickets with him in his pockets and he'd give them out to people for stuff around town for free stuff.

You know anybody? Oh, yeah. You go to a restaurant? I never pay for food with Gary. Well, I would end up paying for food. He would say, well, he's going to treat me. The guy would, the manager would not accept the tickets and then I had to pay for the dinner, right?

Oh, wow. So, he always had the tickets. One night, Gary gets a couple of milkshakes from the McDonald's, right? And he gets one for now and one for later, dude, you know. And so he's walking across this parking lot. This is in Cincinnati and they had got a couple of black girls fighting, right?

So, he goes over there to watch and polish off one of the shakes, right? So, the problem is he gets a little too close with his phone. He starts filming them, you know? So, he's holding one hand, one milkshake in his hand, the other one pressed against his chest, watching these ladies fight. He gets too close.

They turn on him and start coming after him, right? Now, he starts running. His pockets are full of all those tickets that he usually gives out. Free tickets for the bunny ball. It pulls his shorts down. Now, he can't run and he's got two shakes, dude. And these girls beat fucking... Are you saying he got beat up?

Oh, they beat a shake and four fists right out of his ass, bro. And the whole time he was trying to, he was getting beaten, but also trying to hold on to the shakes like Double Dare. Remember Double Dare? Yeah. Yeah, bro. That's great. He's slimed.

Yeah, oh, he got fucking smacked up. Double Dare is real. Oh, is it? Mr. Jackson? I still have a question about it, but Double Dare was a real show. Well, look up BJ and let's see if that's a person, man, because that's who we're missing. He played for the Bulls.

There you go. Well, what was it? Okay, yeah, when Gary, when the funny bone opened in Cincinnati, which was in Newport, Kentucky, back in like 2004, he hired a relative of mine that he didn't know was a relative of mine. And I go, he goes, yeah, man, I got this young girl, man. She's like hustling tickets and she's out in the streets and she's moving shit. And I told Gary, I go, that's my cousin.

I go, she's on drugs, dude. I go, she's gonna rip you off eventually. And he goes, I don't know, but them crack heads can move some tickets. Wow. It's like, it was my cousin that was living on the street. That's crazy. He'll get anybody, man. I was like, Gary.

And then when she showed up, she was like, Gary, I was like, okay. I don't know how she's getting them tickets out there. He's a hustler, man. You're gonna, I was like, and the clientele showed. It was a lot of her friends. Like Tuesday nights hit the funny bone. Oh, they weren't moving a lot of food. Sounds like a lot of, like a 12 step meeting.

Gary Oh, and thanks so much for coming and joining us, man. Really appreciate it, bro. Yeah, you're welcome. What a guy never closes like, no, thank you, man. Yeah, you're welcome. Try being on time next time, Theo. And now I've been moving way too fast on the runaway train with a heavy load of powder.