This Past Weekend - Perth Path | This Past Weekend #201

Episode Date: May 27, 2019

Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_ Checking in from Australia after a week off of podcasting. Back on sugar. Six days clean off masty. Hit the Hotline [phone] Music “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn Find Theo Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw Gunt Squad www.patreon.com/theovon Name Aaron Jones Aaron Rasche Aaron Wayne Anselmi Adam White Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Alexa harvey Allison Jones Andrea Gagliani Andrew Valish Angelo Raygun Anthony Holcombe Anthony Schultz Arielle Nicole Ashley Konicki Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Bad Boi Benny Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Benjamin Herron Benjamin Streit Bobby Hogan Brad Moody Brandon Hoffman Brandon Kirkman Bubba Hodge Carla Huffman Casey Roberts Charles Herbst Christian Coyne Christina Christopher Stath Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh COREY ASHMORE Crystal Dakota Montano Dan Draper Dan Perdue Daniel Chase Danielle Fitzgerald Danny Crook Danny Gill David Christopher David Smith Diana Morton Dionne Enoch Donald blackwell Doug Chee Drew Munoz Dusty Baker Faye Dvorchak Felicity Black Ginger Levesque Grant Stonex Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia J.P. Jacob Rice Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter Jameson Flood Jason Price Jeffrey Lusero Jenna Sunde Jeremy Johnson Jeremy Siddens Jeremy Weiner Jim Floyd Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joel Henson Joey Piemonte John Kutch Johnathan Jensen Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan R Josh Cowger Josh Nemeyer Julie Ogden Justin Doerr Justin L justin marcoux Kaitlin Mak Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kiera Parr Kirk Cahill kristen rogers Kyle Baker Lacey Ann Laszlo Csekey Lauren Williams Lawrence Abinosa Leighton Fields Madeline Garland Mandy Picke'l Marisa Bruno Matt Kaman Meaghan Lewis Meghan LaCasse Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Mike Poe Mona McCune Nick Butcher Nick Lindenmayer Nick Roma Nick Rosing Nikolas Koob Noah Bissell OK Passenger Shaming PF24 Gang Gang Qie Jenkins Rachael Edwards Rachel Warburton Randal Ranger Rick Robert Mitchell Robyn Tatu Rohail Ryan Hawkins Ryan Walsh Sarah Anderson Scoot B. Scott Wilson Sean Scott Season Vaughan Secka Kauz Shane Pacheco Shannon potts Shona MacArthur Stefan Borglycke Suzanne O'Reilly Theo Wren Thomas Hunsell II Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Todd Ekkebus Tom Cook Tom Kostya Tommy Frederick Travis Simpson Tugzy Mills Tyler Harrington (TJ) Victor Montano Victor S Johnson II Vince Gonsalves William Reid Peters Zeke HarrisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

I'm just sitting on your front porch Wondering how could I be so far from my home My mind is somewhere else but when I find it I'll have you up where it's good to be back you got that break got that break and I hope you're having a wonderful time wherever you are and I'm coming to you out here from Perth P-E-R-T-H in Western Australia and I'm out here on the banks of the Indian Ocean not far from the Tasmanian Sea and south of the Timor and Banda seas and I am I'm happy to be here and I hope you're having a good day I don't have a lot of intro music or sweet dangles or anything like that you know I don't have a lot of those ear

bells or fancy cat whispers to kind of get us just ease and into the deal today but I'm happy to be here with you and I'm grateful man I'm just what's going on man I'm out here did I took last week off and I went to a Bali I went to a country called Bali for a little vacation to kind of chill out and just just not have to do some stuff not have to do anything you know these days we have we have so many things that we have to do you know email text text message listen to people regular conversation look at something close our eyes put on a hat brush our teeth put on clothes eat something it never ends you

know buy someone a gift it never ends so to be able to have a little bit of time where some of those things I could just take off of the plate and just have nothing on my plate and just be on a on just a full-life diet as far as responsibilities go like a responsibility diet it was nice and I went I'll just tell you where you know what I did I hope you you're doing good you know I hope things in your world are are nice I hope you got a little bit of milk in the fridge and I hope you got a little bit of candy in your pocket a sweet candy maybe a cinnamon barrel you know at some point in time I don't remember

when it was really but they started they made candy in the special shapes a little cannon you could get you a little while liquor a little cannon liquorice used to come shape like a little like a little cannon or a gun get a little licorice gun or you could get a root beer barrel root beer came in a little like a wooden shape like a wooden barrel you know where they had a um they had these little canaries they had a little kind of lemon canary candy I remember when I was young and you get your little look you know low handful of them lemon canaries and just start a damn aviary started damn you know started

a damn uh you know like a little bird sanctuary in your mouth but what was I talking about oh I'll tell you this so so I took the vacation and I went to Bali Indonesia and look to be honest man I'd never heard of it people said Bali you know I thought it was somebody who mispronounced that place saw Bali's fitness Bali's 24-hour fitness facility and you go into a 24-hour fitness joint that shit you know it can be real some people consider fitness different things you go in there 2 a.m. they got a dude in there you know when he's used in the treadmill and he's got it going really fast but he's in there polishing

rare rare gyms and stones on it you're like well damn that's but to him that's fitness you know he leaves out of there in the morning with a pocket of sweet rubies and he's going to trade that batch off for something special you go to anytime fitness at around maybe 10 a.m. or 10 p.m. you might have a brother in there he'll take a lady on a date there I've been at a 24-hour anytime snap you know fitness ballies and they have you'll see you know you have a dude in there a brother take a lady on a date in there he'll be in there he'll have a couple you know he got two dates one guy saw this dude named Jermaine he had

two he had one lady over there on the treadmill and he had another lady he was doing on the leg press and he was going back and forth and he's trying to you know this dude's two-time and in meanwhile this the whole thing's a damn date he's got these ladies out on the date and he's you know running them back and forth got a little you know got some wine in his squirt bottle and he's winding them up and you know and getting their calories off of them at the same time and he's so you just never know when you get into a fitness place like that but what am I talking about man I think I'm rusty I think I'm rusty

so today's episode is also brought to you by Comedy Central has your new favorite podcast and it's called stand-up with Krista Stefano every week Christopher de Stefano who's a friend of mine and who was on on here he will he and his producer will be listening to and discussing some of the greatest stand-up of all time from classic bits out of Comedy Central's library to jokes from today's hottest up-and-coming comedians they'll unpack their favorite bits discuss the comedy scene call up other comedians and generally get into everything comedy and hey since a record at Comedy Central's headquarters in

New York City you never know who might drop in imagine listening to an expertly curated playlist with jokes from John Mulaney and Hannibal Burris or even better Maria Bamford and Mitch Hedberg it's basically two podcasts for the price of one completely free and there's no podcast out there that's anything like it subscribe and listen to new episodes of stand-up with Krista Stefano every Thursday wherever you listen to your podcasts anyway I took this trip I went to Bali oh yeah I went to Bali and and I was nervous you know I've never traveled anywhere by myself like I've traveled by myself for work

but I never traveled by myself for just natural life you know for like an experience and I went to Europe when I was in college a girlfriend and I went to Europe for two weeks and then I've been other places but only only with others never so lament a and that's Spanish for by yourself one-timer so I get you know I'm on my way Simon rec some people know dirt nasty the guy who really you know in LA was a combination of you know him and Joe Rogan's and you know a couple other guys who really kind of Joey Diaz Bobby Lee Krista Leah guys who really helped me kind of catch some traction in my own business in the

past couple years but Simon Rex was the guy who told me you got to go to Bali man you got to go to Bali and he's in the videos he's on like a little go-kart and and it looks exciting so I go and I take Korean Airlines and look I'm all excited I'm excited to get on the plane I've been on the keto diet for a month or six weeks and and let me hear let me just before I tell you about the plane let me tell you about the keto diet before I forget here's some of my findings so the no sugar right you got to stick to the keto diet and I had there were a couple times where I had some chocolate that was only like 60% cacao

or whatever and you're supposed to be at like 75% but but anyway here's what I found from that diet is you lose a lot of weight I found I lost a lot of weight by staying off of anything processed and off of sugar like I got lean like lean to where I had I didn't know I could be as lean like lean in my muscle real like I could see things that I've just memories in my like I started remembering shit like my brain got lean like it took the gristle right off my brain and and suddenly I remembered maybe a gift that someone had gotten me a long time ago or I remembered somebody who maybe had held a door for me maybe you know seven or

eleven years ago at a 711 maybe even but I it was it was interesting because it just took the it took a lot of the fog out of me I noticed mentally so mentally from being on the keto diet a lot of the fog was lifted I felt more energy more free energy because I'm always thinking oh I gotta have these carbohydrates and this and that and I'm not saying go do the diet I'm said look there's some downsides of it I'll tell you in a second but I just want to make sure that I let you know the experience that I had from a month on the keto diet and the sugar you know I definitely notice some withdrawals man you want sugar boy what

is that a sugar what is that do you get if somebody whistles for a taxi bro you fucking and they've been having a donut or a snack or a you know something recently you even in the do you hear somebody whistle and you fucking what is that oh sugar lips over there they had a sucker two weeks ago at the bank you can hear it on their lips you know you get real caught into you can you get jealous of it somebody you see somebody leaving the store with a bag of bread and you you follow them to their car you don't even realize it you follow them to their car what am I and you kind of come out of a trance what are you gonna

do you're gonna check you're gonna choke somebody out for a loaf what are you gonna do you know so you get real you do have some withdrawals I got angry I notice I get real spicy oh real real real spicy with others I mean somebody said something I don't like it and I'll tell you I don't you know I just make a face like hmm you know like somebody just been stuffing my just been just hiding a bunch of very very very young lemons in my fucking mouth mmm I make a face like that hmm boy hmm hmm so you got your you know if you if you're one of the seven dwarfs you grumpy that's how it made me it made me you know I had

some withdrawals but it made me very alert it made me when I woke up in the morning I felt immediate energy and excitement I didn't have to wake up it was like I was either asleep or I was awake and there wasn't a lot of like shifting gears in between the two I was ready to go you know I felt like um I started to feel like a lot of foods and stuff really slow me down really slow you down it's almost like what you eat it's like if you have a lot of bread then you you get breaded up you know you might feel if you know it's like you're a little slower in the morning you got a couple of baguettes in your step you

know you got a couple of you're on the basketball court you're a little slow where you got a couple of croissants stuck in your crossover you know you know you start to feel like I start to notice whatever I eat is what that is it impacts my behavior or it impacts my motion my fluidity or fluidity so I started to notice that a hundred percent you know you might have a couple you know a little bit slower on the dance floor if I've been having too much dessert it kind of sticks to you I got you know I'll have a couple of crème brûlées in my hip-hop hooray you know oh hey ho so I noticed that kind of stuff I you know I

maybe have a little bit more you know I might have a couple you know I might have some I just have a little bit less I'm less fluid I'm kind of slowed down and and so those are some things that I noticed on the keto's diet some withdrawals from the sugar much better energy much better mental clarity very very clear anger more anger now at the same time I was on Chantix non-cigarette pills and I mean people you that the anger the anger could have been from the pills you fucking killed you know you'll drive a car I knew a fucking shopping mall during a during a Nike sale you know during a sale over there

at our S. Day Lauders so it's that kind of vibe you know so Chantix is you know the non-cigarette pills they'll make it do shit so I shouldn't have been cross I was cross-pollinating the different evacuations I was trying to evacuate the sugar and the bread and the kid do the keto's diet and I was also trying to evacuate to nicotine so I think I spoiled you know I spoiled the you know I spoiled myself as a testing facility but but those are some things that I did notice immediately my mental clarity was was very clear but I was very antsy and some of that could have been just still withdrawals from the sugar and I probably

should have taken a little bit more time but I think I'm gonna I'm gonna do it again I'm just gonna I'm going to make sure that I'm not doing something else at the same time like not mixing diets or not trying to evacuate you know sugar and cigarettes and you know alcohol or whatever else all at the same time just a little because that all that's a lot but those are some things that I noticed oh also notice this less gas less body gas you know less body gas man I if you got a gas come out of you you're almost surprised you're like you know you're almost it's like you know it's like when you hear it's like hearing a knock at

the door you're like oh fucking forgot I even had a door or if you hear a door bell these days it not not as many people come over anymore so you know you hear a doorbell you're like oh shit what is that oh I have a door I forgot I have a doorbell I forgot usually you get a text somebody says I'm coming over but to hear that old-fashioned they were back in the day when I was young and you heard that doorbell go off boy everybody tried to get to the door to see who it was every kid in the house man you could be doing you could be crying you all you but here you but immediately you dry your tears up you put on some powder

whatever flour sugar whatever you got to do to make it look like you wasn't crying to tighten up to get to the first to the door you could be in the other you could be in a coma or pretending you're in a coma so you don't have to go to school fuck that the doorbell goes off oh shit all my levels are legit you yank that homemade IV out of your arm and run to the door your mom's like I thought I thought you was dying boy when the doorbell went off you might have a sister that wasn't even born yet she's still in the womb right not when the doorbell got dinged down the boy she'll you see a rappel from the you

know whatever that is that lavender tightrope the um the the um the um umbilical you see a rappel from that umbilical cord she's off to the damn door she don't even know how to walk she's just rolling over on her side when the doorbell went off it was like the special Olympics boy because that shit was special because people didn't ring it that much and that shit was the Olympics because everybody was trying to get there to see who it was who is it somebody would yell in the halfway to the door like it's for me you don't even know you just trying to lay claim you get there dude you get there and you

open that door dude and it was somebody it was somebody man it was Jehovah's Witnesses boy and suddenly everybody was like damn man it's the Lord and he's going door-to-door different times dude I miss that when the doorbell went off he just something happened to you it kicks so it didn't matter what you were doing oh your whole world was left behind when that doorbell went off because that was opportunity there was an opportunity there there was an opportunity you didn't know what it was and you were headed towards it I'm talking about dude so let me just get back into my trip but that was the keto so less body gas more

clarity movement I would move a lot faster quicker much clear to communicate anger though I found myself getting angsty I didn't notice any drop-offs in my energy levels I noticed a lot of lean lean body lean what else people say you get keto crotch or something or Keto crotch I didn't get it my crotch seemed normal my crotch has enough issues as is you know with that mild to you know kind of lowercase erectile dysfunction Matt you know my you know my dick it's not I don't ever erectile my dick is lazy though I will say that I got that LD and you know I'm saying if you walked in you know say you walked into work and a lot

of dicks are supposed to be at their desk you know doing the typewriter my dick will be over there by the wall you know maybe having a cigarette or so or lying to one of his co-workers you know trying to fly so those are some things that I noticed I'm trying to think of anything else so I get real clear on what my experience was doing the keto so just you have just not that anybody's asking but I do get you know messages saying hey what you know what's going on so and oh I started to notice immediately after about four days five days I started to notice how some sugar and some sugar candies were just too

much man like once I started to lose the pallet for like a snicker or even you know you know watch them I call it or some neck of wafers once you started to lose that pallet man when you looked at him again you were like oh that looks nasty then you know me I love a baby snicker dude if I go to heaven you know when the Lord lifts his skirt up I hope a hole you know I hope about 30 baby Snickers falls right out of his dress and and so when I you know when I started to look at these candies and it was just too much for me I just it was you know it was surprising I was like wow now I see where that sugar is and it makes me

I don't want anything that sugary it's too much it felt fake and natural sugars I started to really like the taste of like 80% cacao chocolate the shit that you taste you're like damn this ain't chocolate at first but by the seventh day on keto you're like dang that stuff is sweet you start to really realize where sugar is everywhere they'll put sugar on your fucking wife bro if they think you don't like her and a lot of women use sugar they know we you know you'll see a lady so hot a couple of you know a couple of milk duds or something on the back of her neck she'll tape a fucking tape a you know a little short

stack of starbursts on the nape of her neck because they know sugar attracts men you'll see a lady back in a day she'll put her head on the side and put a couple drops of um of honey in her ear that old-fashioned fucking keep you around sauce you know because they know this sugar attracts so but that was my experience man that was my experience and even I noticed like a tomato if it were really good it would taste really sweet and that was about as sugary as I got because you got to stay off fruit as well there was a couple moments where I cheated like it would be you know I would have like a sunflower or seeds and

like a banana or something at night a couple times and that's just my experience I hope to have a bigger and more lengthy experience but that's been my experience so far that I tried so I'm on Korean Airlines and I'm in the sky I'm on vacation I'm ready to you know I'm taking it easy now no more diets no more this or that well I get up there they bring and I look I got a first class seat you know I treated myself this is my vacation I'm treat you know I got a little it was nice they had like a little magazine there in Korean and that's nice because you know what I don't even have to read it if I see a

magazine in English I feel pressure I'm like fuck man I gotta read that great here goes a bunch of reading I have to do but I see a magazine in Korean I'm like bang bang well can't read it oh well so that immediately was relaxing to have a bunch of shit I couldn't read if I wanted to and then we get cruising and they start bringing you food right and look I have I've had food in some different countries I like different stuff but man I'll tell you different people have different ideas of what food is and Korean Airlines amazing airline comfortable loving people very kind of at one point in the night it

was like a 16-hour flight I've fallen asleep the lady put my blanket back on my on my on my on my shoulder but the food they had on this Korean airline just left a lot to be desired they they first of all they bring you a bunch of little dishes of things I don't even know what it is something look like paint it look like I I thought they wanted me to do a art you know but next thing I know I see people around me spoon in all of the different colors into their mouth the one thing I recognize a dish of jalapenos and that was like the nicer they had a bowl had fish in it the fuck is this and chop sticks and I've had

fish sticks okay don't get me wrong I've had them but I've never had them where you got to do the math yourself where you got to get in the bowl and catch them I thought I was at the carnival all I needed was a dude on some fucking middle-range methamphetamine standing there next to me you know I'm gonna be surprised somebody's throwing ping-pong balls to win the damn dinner well I'm trying to eat it this it was it was bizarre especially when you when you are ready to relax and somebody shows up to you with something that is not relaxing man they had something I'd never seen it before I didn't know if it was a vegetable

I didn't know if it was if it was mountain lion I didn't know if it was a meat I don't know if it was an idea I didn't know if it was granite I had no idea what it was could have been chocolate could have been a dessert could have been an epitaph could have been fuck I don't know could have been something could have been siding could have been you know something they were waiting to be tested on a forensic files episode I have no idea that's what all the trays I had no idea what was going on so they don't know man and in some didn't they bring you the set I thought that was the whole meal you know I had

three or four jalapenos did a little prayer and then I pushed the thing aside then they bring the plate back and put take all those things away put more shit on them and they do look I at this point I don't know what's going on I thought I was on a really bad game show I thought Howie Mandel was gonna pop out from behind the seat I mean they had cat tails they had they had a little stack I like look like damn aardvark snouts or something with a you know it kind of a geriatric you know bull you base peppermint remelod on them it was crazy man it was it was too much for me man now also I'll tell you this everybody on

the plane was Asian everybody on the plane was Asian everyone because I was going to Bali Indonesia but I was going through Korea that was the flight I could get that was most fair price so you know I saw them going through Korea and everyone but me I'm thinking you know I'll get on the plane there'll be some other Americans will be kind of excited or I'll see some in Balinese and people not none of them none of that I get on and it's just all Korean and beautiful people you know especially the flight attendants man and just so I'll take the cleanest airplane I've ever been on in my life Korean Airlines you

walk into the restroom as soon as you leave one of the one of the flight attendants walks in after you cleans up the restroom you need something they pop up and they all look they have a very and from my perception you can tell a Korean person or this is how I have I think they're they have very white look to the skin some of them you know and they almost put a makeup on some of them look almost like you've ever been a mortuary ever had somebody that died a couple people that died or something and they you know they put that uh they do a little bit of light kind of plaster of Paris on them they got that my you know a

lot of these Korean flight attendant ladies have that deceased but fine like hot and deceased you know like damn she's dead you know like kind of fine but it's just the way it's their makeup style it's whereas we go for more like tan in the u.s. they go for more of a pure kind of color white and man it it looked I mean I felt like I was in like that movie my girl you know I was like Macaulay coke and do they was beautiful I was hoping and fucking let some bees loose on the flight and you know maybe meet a lady they were beautiful over there but they have that mortuary style look you know very red lipstick big

beautiful eyes and kind of flower kind of they put like a like a light flower on like a white color what else man so we yeah but anyway then I get there and uh and Bali was cool man it's very relaxing I stayed in a place called Changu and I got me a little I got there at midnight it's real quiet you know I get to the hotel and like there's literally some boy standing there no shoe with no shoes on and like a nightgown waiting for me and I thought like damn I ended up in some kind of um you know I was nervous to talk to him he worked for the hotel I don't want to end up in a damn you know sexual ring

or something disorganized sex thing or something with you know with some of these you know people doing all that I would never do anything like that so but he was just he worked for the hotel and it was just real peaceful and you go back there in the back and they had all these beautiful trees and and they put me into this into this hotel room and it was just relaxing and I just got some rest and I stayed there for a couple days went down to the beach in the morning went to yoga got in the water man it was really cool but you they had a lot of construction going on a lot of construction a lot of Western kind of

ideals coming you could see it and you could see the people there like working hard because there was a lot of money coming in the Balinese and people but you could also see how this place was going to change into a place that they could never get back the place they once had you know and so some of that was kind of sad you know I was like wow this is such an amazing place but it's it's starting to get run over by business and you know made me think a lot about well when do we when do we stop doing things because it's because business isn't important you know like at what point do we is it not about the business you know

what point is it about the love of a place like at what point do you say I'm not gonna build a damn CVS right here because they got because this is a beautiful place to look at it just made me think so you know about some of that like man because it was beautiful you know you see the fact the father going by and he's got the two kids on the back of the scooter and they're just the kid you know one of the kids is so young he can't even the wind is making his eyes it's too much for him to keep his eyes open and it beautiful dark hair just blowing in the wind and and that one the other kid is maybe two three years

older and he's a little more experienced so he can keep his eyes open and they're all just holding on the dad and yeah and it just made me think man and in two years you know there'll be a dang subway sandwich right here by these rice patties were right there they had these beautiful rice fields and next thing you know they're gonna have a subway sandwich over there and I don't know it's just interesting it's like when is it okay like how do you know I guess it's just zoning and I guess it's their choice it has nothing to do with me but just made me think that about a lot of things how a lot of things go by the

wayside because there's opportunity for business and at what point do we start to make laws or regulations or just choices as humans to say man this isn't that important is it that important to have 7g LTE phone so I can keep in touch with my sibling or somebody or Janet or Larry or Zaveldron or anybody Sharlisha anybody Kwan Doris anyone how fast do I need to keep in touch with them I haven't seen them in two years but how fast do I need to have that upload how many more trees got to go down so we could get the more towers so we keep you know at what point do we say it's not worth it it's worth it to you

know to not have this much technology it's worth it to re-embrace our set you know what we who we are as humans and and maybe that's just crazy thinking I mean look I'm I'm uh I mean I'm on a computer right now I'm communicating over camera and video camera but it just made me think that man looking at that place and did it was cool you'd be out by the beach and they had one thing I noticed about Bali they had dogs with nuts on them running around just like when you were a kid remember that remember how nice it was you see a dog rolling by with them big-ass fucking with them big-ass with that hanging sack

of Behold tits them nuts boy bro I remember that dude you see and then they have you know then some rich people came moved in on accident to your neighborhood they stay for one month and their dog didn't even have any nuts and you'd be like what where's your dogs nuts at but Bali you got at night you see six or seven dogs running the street maybe one of them have a little deck of cards under his arm and one of them got the cigarettes you know we're doing it uh the Chewbacca the chewing tobacco and they're gonna want to have some fun and they got their nuts and everything they're still living life

that's Bali baby they got nature's loose here not America where you got a bunch of fuck bunch of freaking eeks over there cutting animals nuts off what's going on in America you were cutting off of animals nuts when I was young you had a everybody to have male dog didn't matter dogs out there doing sex with everything you see a dog out there male dogs doing it all meet me you know you see three or four dogs doing it all doing a little you know not a um you know doing that little a little bark bus you know you see three dogs in a row humping they called it humping you see three dogs humping each other no women

in it maybe or two women who knows everybody had nuts back then and it was just more beautiful that's how you learn about it too as a kid you see a couple dogs doing sex you're like oh you know maybe I can do that one day maybe I can be somebody you know like muffin over there or like uh you know like kibbles over there maybe I can be somebody like one of them it was just a different deal and it was just you know and that's what I liked about Bali you see a whole flock of dogs going off to do something they had ideas because you take the nuts off of something the idea is kind of hey the idea is kind of lose

the wheels but not these Balinese and bad little barkers these little wolf wolves these boys was out there flexing and even the ladies you saw some of the ladies you know some maybe some uh some dalmatians a couple of dalmatians kind of roll by and they spotting the dudes in the distance and they flirt and they stood because they get because the energy still out there they still got nuts on the table and it was it was just good to see man it was really nice to see to remember what that was like because when I grew up that's how you learned about sex you see a couple animals doing it and they were having fun man and you

whistle at them or somebody you know toss a little stick at them but it was different it was everything it's a different time man but God it was nothing more fun than when you were young if you were bored in the neighborhood at least a couple dogs come over by and do sex for an hour or something gave you something to kind of not be a part of but at least you felt like you know like a like a member of society you felt like a man and there's something special uh and that that that that energy is still alive over there in Bali and I was there were there in Changu and that's something you can see

in Bali is the local dogs still getting at it being hard uh what else man what else was it like there oh Greg Odin was on my flight so and he is a basketball player and he played for Ohio State and so he was on the flight and I was excited right when I saw him I saw him years ago I did a show at Michigan State University and he was this is when he was playing basketball and he went on to play for some different teams he played for I don't know if it was the Pacers he played for uh Memphis I think almost he had a lot uh he you know he had kind of a hectic career maybe Philadelphia even he

had kind of a hectic under the the trailblazers he had a hectic career you know he just had some physical limitations or you know I mean he just he's a giant he's a giant amongst men and so but I saw him on the plane right when I got on I recognized him him and his wife were going over on vacation and that was pretty cool but he had just had a nice energy about him and I went up after him and I'm you know I know Maurice Claret came on the podcast one time and they're both from the same area I said hey you know I'm a friend of Maurice's and and and I texted Maurice I said Greg Odin is on my plane and he

said oh that's my man go tell him hey so I was so nervous man because there's something about meeting like a basketball player somebody real tall I think that makes regular-heighted people nervous and so I was nervous but I went over and said hello and and so that was it was just kind of cool to meet like a giant and like a legend like that oh what else what else oh oh Bali another thing in Bali you you can order they have an app you can use in Changu and Changu they have they have like it's real peaceful and it's about 40 minutes from the airport and the beach is right there and there's nothing real

commercial on the beach you go get in there's no lifeguard you might die but they believe in reincarnation there so you die you know you're back an hour later I mean you're a toddler and you're a fucking you know you might be a lizard or a lizard or whatever down the street but you're alive you know you but that's kind of neat that they have that there but it was good I would recommend it and then we went and saw the rice paddies one day Ari my feature came and surprised me because I left my retainer in America and he brought it over and so that was cool and then I went to an AA meeting one day there and what else oh

they had a friend a couple friends of Simon Rex's kind of took me around so anyway a lot of name dropping in this one and then I and then I don't want to forget to tell you guys whatever else happened but I'm getting kind of tired of talking about myself what else you can get a good deal there you can get a good villa you know a couple hundred dollars a night which I know is expensive but if you're really splurging on yourself and and taking a vacation you can get a villa where you have your own little place in your own pool your own little pool in your little yard and that dude I didn't there was two days I don't

think I saw anybody the guy from the front brings your breakfast is due day why he brought in the meals you know me have beautiful eyes young guy which he was a woman but he wasn't you know wouldn't of mine seeing a little bit of tits you know and anything else about that place oh one thing I noticed let me see this in Bali the religion in Bali a lot of Buddhists Hinduism and they believe once you die you come back so they live with a different set of values like to them everything isn't so severe because if shit you get hit by a truck lucky you now you get to be a four month old again you're gonna have a tit in

your mouth in an hour you know you in your 30s you get but you know somebody you get hit by a fucking arrow in the neck lucky you 40 minutes later you a newborn over there in Kuala Lumpur and you got a tit in your mouth and you back in the ball game so it's kind of they say you live with a whole different mindset you don't live with this mindset that like everything's on the line right now you live with a mindset like oh I'm just once again I'm passing through existence I've been alive for who knows how long and once again I'm passing through existence and this time I'm a a plant or this time I'm a young woman or

this time I'm a king or this time I'm a warrior or this time I'm a baby that doesn't even make it through birth but you build up these experiences inside of you and those are the and those become the the colors of your soul kind of those become the patterns and the textiles and the and those become the the the pine needles and the and and and the stray piece of of yarn that make up the birds nest of whoever you are these imprints through time you know through different existences and this interesting man is and so then when you notice that when you're interacting with a lot of the Balinese and people you notice that like

man why is this person so calm because there's nothing on the line man and that peace was just it was beautiful I mean it really was beautiful to see their joy when there's not when it doesn't matter man when it's just they know that you know that they're that that it's not it's not life or death it was interesting and they look and I could be you know I'm not denouncing any other religion but it was nice to just see that that level of faith and what that feels like and for that connection to see you know I am a proponent of faith I am and and so it was just nice to see man it's beautiful to see real beautiful to be in that in that

environment and see people to be at peace and it made me think more about the peace that I want to have you know because you know I have been a little stressed out this year I mean a lot dude a lot actually and sometimes I want to have more peace in my life but a lot of that is just me turning it over to a faith or to a higher power and letting it out of my own you know just quit trying to control everything I mean sometimes I just get a little sick of myself you know what else I haven't even gotten Australia yet I want they have one other thing that was real cool in Bali that I noticed was you

can go get coffee Luwak they got a place called Luwak coffee where they have mongooses and a mongoose is like a ferret that you know it's like a ferret like say if you mix like Andrew dice clay and a ferret that's a mongoose you know they're real edgy you know they're real they might do be doing a fucking Winston or you know you know just attacking a lady or doing whatever you know they're wild so so anyway they had mongoose and they eat these coffee beans and they do they do them out their body out the back door duty and once they got them out the people take the beans because the beans the mongoose

doesn't digest the bean and so the bean comes out their body they take the bean wash it off wash off the rest of them you know the mong where the mongo you know the where the the mongoose mongoose the mongoose they wash it off and they take that bean and then they make coffee out of it and you buy it so you got that special duty hitter brah you know so but that's a real thing it's called Luwak that Luwak coffee and you can look it up and that's beans have been straight out that mongoose gut so you got that colon hitter so sometimes coffee makes you feel like you have to go to the bathroom well this coffee already went to the

bathroom so you're safe I guess I've even gotten Australia yet I wonder if I should just wait until I get back to tell you about what Australia was like I'll tell you right now I'm in Perth and I'm in Western Australia and it kind of reminds me of Denver and it's beautiful and the tour has been wild and we've been staying at some nice places and it's crazy you stay at a nice hotel you know it's three four hundred dollars you know a night like I do that this price I'm not even going to sleep that you know I lay down for a half hour that's forty dollars worth of fucking money so you feel like you got to stay awake and

just enjoy the whole room you know I drank probably gallon and a half of water out of the faucet earlier trying to decide you know if it tasted better than if you went like a you know I'm usually stay at the best Western or the Hampton Inn and Hampton Inn they got good water right out the tap bro but this and I the shit here is a little better I did notice that but yeah I'll do in this room you do all kind of stuff you look at the plants they got a plant they got another plant right over there two plants what it's almost like a damn farm it's like a little so you stay awake because you don't want to miss a

thing sweetest dream we'll never do I still miss you baby so yeah being in a nice hotel room it's definitely a different vibe but I don't want to get too used to it you know I don't want to get too used to it but yeah it's been good we went to Sydney the first night it was like 2,000 people at a theater and dude it blew my balls open I mean it blew my balls open like a damn Balinese and beach dog so it just was crazy then went to Melbourne and just cool fans man not fans but just cool supporters of this past week and that came out of the pie like I don't know man it just blows my mind it's hard to

really connect the dots like how you know we talk about stuff on here and then it just we live it out in the world you know that a young guy who had been on the podcast episode I think 139 or something and he called in about losing weight and he lost 30 pounds since then this kid named Jamie it's good to see him in person I remember talking to him on the phone just so crazy and then here he was alive and we were in each other's lives they had a guy that came out in Melbourne and I'll say this the Melbourne shows were in a they put him in like a almost like a student it looked like a place where you would do a school

you know like they didn't have any theaters available so they put it at like a convention center and it was the the audience was awesome the people that came were awesome the people that I met amazing kind but the the venue I thought it was nice but it was just kind of a shit place to see comedy comedy is something that needs to be in an environment that where the walls and can appreciate it and these places kind of a thing something you do anything you could do whatever in there just seem like general a general space it didn't have any like the walls had no desire or care of their own like the walls just

look like they didn't even know who their parents were you know or like they had parents they just seem kind of like somebody had built a box for us to do anything in we could have done a murder in there we could have made soup we could have done anything you know we could have we could have done anything just stood in the corner and lied to each other could have been whatever but but then we came where else did we go to Sydney Melbourne Perth that's where we are now and we have one show here last night and it was fire and we had two other shows in Sydney we went back and forth and and the shows have all been

cool man it's been really cool to switch the venue and Melbourne have been different but in the future maybe we'll hope for a different venue I'm not complaining at it it just wasn't ideal for comedy and yeah and they had a guy who came out who would just say you know he said he said hey man I lost my mother and my sister in the past year and you know your podcast has really been awesome there's just moments of it where it's cool and it makes me feel okay and that really made that really was that was really cool and I think he's supposed to send me a message online but I didn't get it so if you hear that brother we

send that again just so I can so I can keep my eyes open for you for it I'd love to catch up but yeah just cool man you know just I wish you had more time to meet everyone it just you know it's a lot of traveling it's a lot of quick movement it's a new country and people are so polite here it almost feels like I'm on a prank show a lot of times people are so kind and Chris Lilly came out dude what if you have not seen summer high tie it's absolutely wonderful somebody last night brought me his other movie called we can be heroes I've never seen it but imagine getting to meet you like George Washington or

something just somebody who just was like a next somebody who you just they blow your mind when you watch them do creativity and that was him for me man he's like it's like it's like meeting a shark outside of the water or it's like seeing a seahorse at an arcade he just there's something so rare about that guy Chris Lilly and he has a new show lunatics and I urge you to start with his old stuff and migrate forward with it so you can get the full vastness of who that man is one of a kind man one of a kind but anyway sorry to be talking about myself so much you know one thing it's interesting that you know there's

there's costs with every opportunity like this is it's been awesome obviously being over here we still have another week of shows to do but it's been I kind of miss sometimes just being at the comedy store you know like a year ago I was just I was at the comedy store four nights a week and I just got to be there every week and you know just see all my buddies and see like the other comedians and and you start to feel a little bit like not left out but you know life just goes on man life just life goes on you know that's why it is such a it's not critical but it is it's such a unique

opportunity it's a unique opportunity we have here and maybe we get it again but even if we get it again it's just such a unique opportunity when you look at all the rest of the energy out in the world and the outer space and the ground and plants and ants and and you see that we get to be at this forefront of this ability to be able to connect with one another and and hug someone or let somebody know we care about them or or miss somebody even missing some something or missing somebody is what a unique thing that is you know like I miss my friends at the comedy store I miss just being there and just hearing some of

them laugh or something I mean it sounds gay ass but you know we're just seeing them in the hallway or you know getting a give you know they have the Eleanor Eleanor Kerrigan as a comedian I always give her a hug every time she always is very sweet and you know Steve Simone is always up there and I see him all the time and it just are just different people's faces my buddy Adam Egett who works over there and he's really troubled just like me and we you know it's just it's interesting missing people is interesting you know not to mention Coco Diaz you know and I mean just getting to see Rogan and Deli and just

even see what they're you know talking to them is like trying to talk to a comment or talk to a shooting star you know they're just there's someone's going on in their lives but it's it's good but even just have that moment with them just to touch base and shake hands or give a hug or see Bobby Lee you know it's funny I didn't realize how much the comedy store is kind of like my home sometimes today's episode is brought to you by Ridge wallet Ridge wallet is a it's a wallet and you and you may not have one and it's a you know a lot of times that a wallet will be something you you hear about oh I heard you know

you hear about that wallet and it'll be but but when you think about it it's in the back of someone's pants you know what's something else you keep in the back of your pants you know duty maybe gum if you sat in gum so why would you keep your wallet back there well Ridge has that new front pocket carry and Ridge wallet is a haul it's a it's like a holster it's like a holster for your money and your goods and you can go to Ridge wallet comm slash hitter and you will get 10% off that order and you want that front pocket carry you want to be able to keep all your your ID your credit cardery all of that keep it in that

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you don't know go get in him find summer heights high find Jonah from Tonga angry boys go find one of these things and get into this strange man's universe and then come to Australia and you're gonna have such a unique experience I went to an Australian rules football game yesterday you know there's a this I'll finish with this little deal and thank you to everybody in Australia that's come out and and all the people that have bought tickets to all the other shows in the US I I think the only shows that we're still trying to sell tickets for an hour in Norway which I don't even fucking know where that is man as sad as

that is Norway and Stockholm Sweden but this um I was gonna say oh so this happens so we flew in to Perth and it was like maybe a four or five hour flight and man we had a before I got home maybe like one the morning before got to bed by about 2 30 you know how to be downstairs at 7 so not too crazy but kind of a busy morning get to the airport we get to wherever we get to Perth which I mean it's on the other side of Australia and we get here and they have oh they lost one of my bags so and that's fine that happens which was so funny because there was like 40 open seats on the plane so I so just makes

you wonder how it all works out but that's what happened and then so we get there we have to deal with the lost bag then we get into a rental car and there's an alarm on the car that like one of those things when the doors open it just blanks like a mix of but all the doors were closed so it just had that going on the whole time we're driving it and you know I had a 1984 Ford Escort for a while and there was a it got stuck on a Christian Christian music station and you couldn't turn it off so every time I drove that car it had Christian music going and I had that car for about four years so and talk about trying to get I

mean especially in high school you trying to get to get a little bit of a of LA ID you hear me in case there's any children watching this but I'm talking about full-on sexual the last thing you want on the radio Christian music because that's the opposite of sexual boy so that stuff was hard you know not as hard as I was the guy but it was hard but anyway the man I don't even know if I remember how to be a podcast be a podcast guy the anyway fucking we get there that takes forever the bag then the the beeping thing I get to the hotel I lost my mind I was just stressed tired wanting to take a nap I go walk to the

coffee shop and there's a sport here called Australian rules football and I've been messaging with one of the players for a couple months this guy Mitch that plays for the Brisbane Lions and so he said he'd invited me to come to a game and I didn't know if I can make it or not and I was just all tired I was like I don't know if I couldn't even find his his I couldn't find his Instagram message and our messages and then I walked to a coffee shop down the street and he's in the coffee shop and so and then he it was great because he was such a such a neat guy and he invited me to the game got me a ticket so next thing you know

three hours later I go get a nap I go to the to the game and I'm sitting up in the stands by myself watching Australian rules football dude the stadium was beautiful looked like I was on the moon I felt like I was on the moon it's like a perfectly kind of round stadium it was just it was amazing they lost by one point but it was a great game but here it was like all this whole morning I've been all frustrated man the bag is lost now we got to wait for the baggage thing at the airport and this fucking beeping for 20 minute car ride the shit won't do nothing and it reminded me a Christian the Christian music and it made me want

to fuck a little and so then I'm tired and I want to fuck but the music's going on and I'm by myself except for Ari and the and and the guy who's driving us over there and I'm just like man I could have been taking a nap I'm so tired I I'm just at my wits end but if all that hadn't happened that it slowed us down because we stopped the car three or four times to try and fix the alarm then I don't then I'm not at the coffee shop at the right time I don't run into the to the Brisbane Lions or Australian League football team Australian rules and I don't end up at the at the game so it just made me just kind of just like if

this like was a moment that was like man as much as I want to try and control things the path that I'm on you know there's great opportunities if I can just relax and just be on this path path Perth Perth it's kind of like path a little bit but anyhow I've been rambling a little bit I don't even know how to do this anymore just so crazy we're gonna be in a new studio whenever we get back home but in the meantime I'm gonna get back out here in Australia I'm gonna go take a walk and I'll just enjoy this environment that I'm in and just what a blessing and this has just been awesome and just to get to be out here in the

world and just so many nice people that just come up and care and I just want to say thanks you know thank you so much man I care too you know and I care about so many that so many people that come out and and I wish I could just find more ways to express that sometimes and in the future I think that that that I will but but I'm gonna do the best I can and take advantage of of this path that we're on so you guys be good to yourselves we don't have any intro and outro music I don't have any everything's not hooked up but I'm grateful to Ari Manis my the other comedian working with me this that's here and and I'm sure

there's a lot of stuff that I'm forgetting I'll try to think of more of it later but but this is the first episode ever of this past weekend live from Australia or un-live I don't know what it's called if it's not live but it's you know almost live almost live from Australia man this Perth out here you guys be good to yourselves man you guys deserve it and and thank you a lot of cool stuff we got I think Biloxi Mississippi that just sold out over the weekend happy Memorial Day to all the men and women of service in every country in Australia and Korea in the US you know I do notice that Australian

people have a lot of Australian pride and it's cool to see and that's something that I don't that I hope we don't lose in America you know we shouldn't lose pride in being and being American I feel like a lot of times that you know there's forces out there that want to take that away from us or sell our pride off or trick us in believing that feeling like being able to be in America or live in our whatever our country is if your country's Australia America or Korea or Guam or Vietnam or Viet Guam that you should be able to be proud of that you should be able to be proud of that and it's cool to see you

get over here too and you wonder like a lot of people over here they recognize that the media is really tricky and you know you start to realize that okay there's a a lot of people are questioning what's going on in the world these days in this electronic world and that's what's neat about to get over here and get some human connection with one another because you see okay okay you guys kind of see this is happening to you guys too on this happening to us this is yeah oh yeah the media that the news wants us at war if we end up at war they get to cover it they're in business forever they're in

business till the end sorry I'm I'm rambling I'm getting probably a little bit political maybe not but anyway you guys be good to yourselves man and thank you so much for for this opportunity what a ride dude what a ride what a friggin ride dude love you I'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could I be so far from my home and my mind is somewhere else but when I find it I'll patch up where it's been now I'm just holding on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves I must be cornerstone but when I reach that ground I'll share this piece of

mind I found I can feel it in my bones but it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself on my shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my story shine on me and I will find a song I will sing it just for you now I've been moving way too fast on the runaway train with a heavy load of my hands and these friends that I've been riding on they want something that they're damn they're gone I guess now they just weren't built to last yeah I'm gonna fly to make sense of what I can of where I'm going oh and where I'll be shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my story shine on me and I will find a song I will sing it just for you and I will find the words to help you make it through if you call my name I'll sing it to you

shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my story shine on me and I will find a song I will sing it just for you yeah just for you oh oh oh oh oh shine on me yeah shine on me oh oh oh yeah oh yeah yeah shine shine on me shine on me yeah shine on me yeah shine on me yeah shine on me wellbeing yeah shine on me You