This Past Weekend - Relationship Animals | This Past Weekend #230

Episode Date: September 16, 2019

Subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/ThisPastWeekend_     Theo announces some rescheduled/rebooked tour dates, listens to voicemails about heartbreak and new love, and follows up with Drippy Mitts and Surprise Baby.   New Tour Dates DATE CITY, STATE VENUE TICKET LINK 10/4 Bethlehem, PA The Wind Creek Event Center https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0200569D8071196C 10/8 Cleveland, OH Masonic Cleveland https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0500569ADA078624 10/9 Indianapolis, IN Egyptian Room at Old National Centre https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0500569AC206682B 10/10 Grand Rapids, MI 20 Monroe Live https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0800569AC52B46B8 10/11 Detroit, MI The Fillmore https://www.ticketmaster.com/event/0800569AC9D54AA1 10/12 Milwaukee, WI The Pabst Theater https://pabsttheater.org/event/theovon2019/ 10/13 Madison, WI Barrymore Theatre https://barrymorelive.com/event/theo-von/ -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   New Merch https://theovonstore.com    ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This episode is brought to you by    Skillshare Visit https://Skillshare.com/TheoVon for 2 months free   ZipRecruiter Visit https://ZipRecruiter.com/TPW to try for free   -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Hit the Hotline [phone]   -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Find Theo   Website: https://theovon.com  Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend  Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiEKV_MOhwZ7OEcgFyLKilw   -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Producer Nick https://instagram.com/realnickdavis    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   Music   Intro “Every Night” - Jameson Flood https://soundcloud.com/jameson-flood/every-night-edit   Outro “Anything You Want” - Bishop Gunn https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo4GA2Vqxuc   ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Patreon Gunt Squad   Name Aaron Rasche Adam White Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Petralia Alex Wang Alexa harvey Andrew Valish Angelo Raygun Annmarie Reilly Anthony Holcombe Ashley Konicki Audrey Hodge Ayako Akiyama Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Benjamin Herron Benjamin Streit Bobby Hogan Brandon Brandon Woolsey Christian Coyne Christina Peters Christopher Becking Claire Tinkler Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Crystal Dan Perdue Danielle Fitzgerald Danny Crook David Christopher David Witkowski Dentist the menace Diana Morton Dionne Enoch Doug C Dusty Baker Eric Tobey Faye Dvorchak Felicity Black Gillian Neale Ginger Levesque Grant Stonex Greg Salazar Gunt Squad Gary J Garcia Jamaica Taylor James Briscoe James Hunter Jameson Flood Jayme Sta Jeffrey Lusero Jeremy Siddens Jeremy Weiner Joakim Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joel Henson Joey Piemonte John Kutch Johnathan Jensen Jon Blowers Jon Ross Jordan Josh Cowger Josh Nemeyer Joy Hammonds Justin Doerr Justin L justin marcoux Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kirk Cahill kristen rogers Kyle Baker Lacey Ann Laszlo Csekey Lawrence Abinosa Lea Rashka Leighton Fields Luke Bennett Madeline Matthews Mandy Picke'l Mariah Marisa Bruno Matt Nichols Meaghan Lewis Mike Mikocic Mike Nucci Mike Poe Mona McCune Nick Roma Nikolas Koob Noah Bissell OK Qie Jenkins Ranger Rick Robyn Tatu Rohail Ruben Prado Ryan Hawkins Sagar Jha Sarah Anderson Sean Scott Secka Kauz Shane Pacheco Shona MacArthur Stephen Trottier Suzanne O'Reilly Theo Wren Thomas Adair Tim Greener Timothy Eyerman Todd Ekkebus Tom Cook Tom Kostya Tugzy Mills Tyler Harrington (TJ) Vanessa Amaya Victor S Johnson II Vince Gonsalves Vlog Master Wendy C. Volkmar William Reid Peters Yvonne Zeke HarrisSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today's episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza. Gray Block Pizza, 1811 Pico Boulevard on the way to the beach in Los Angeles. Gray Block, get that hitter baby. Oh man, you know, I was a, I was a unreasonable child. If you'd have seen me when I was a child, I was, I was unreasonable. You know, I'd wear a tank top sometimes in the winter. And then I just, just, just yell at people about how cold I was. I'm cold.

And people were like, well, you got a tank top on. And I'd be like, eat my ass, buddy. So I was that kind of kid, you know, the kind of kid that, you know, I'd wear like a little rain jacket or something in new, uh, in a re-K or whatever it was. Uh, pre-K, a re-K. Dude, I was in all the Ks. I was a, I was in pre-K, K, re-K, 3K. I was in 3K, that was the, I think at one point I thought it was Ku Klux Klan.

But, uh, but it was just continual, continual kindergarten. And they spelled continual with a K. But I was in there, man. And I'd wear, you know, sometime a slicker, like a rain slicker, you know, like that. Really, what really should be called the 11th wonder of the world. And that rain slicker. Cause how the, it's amazing how the whole force of nature rain can be stopped by just one layer of, uh, of slicker plastic. But I would wear that bastard, I'd wear that bright yellow bastard right in the, in the dead of summer.

In the, at school. And I'd be complaining in the classroom, it's hot, it's hot as hell in here, Miss Lewis. And they'd be like, you, you got a slicker on, boy. You got, you better get that. It ain't even raining, you got a slicker on. I'd be like, eat my ass, guys. I'm, you know, I'm doing my best. So I think I was just probably just an unreasonable child.

Every night I lie, every night I lie away. Every night I feel like a fake, I put on this show. No one, nobody will call me. I lose me, every night you sleep. That is, um, Every Night by Jameson Flood. That's a music man. And, uh, he sent that in. Long time ago, whenever this, uh, when the pod first kicked out.

When this pod first just, just was that first just, you know, just kind of float into the verse, bro. Into that uni. I want to tell you, I got some new tour dates back onto the books. 10-4, October 4th in Bethlehem, PA at the Wind Creek Event Center. That is back on 10-5 now. This Saturday, I will be in Pittsburgh at a theater there. I don't have the name, but the, the tickets are all, um, on the website, theovon.com slash tour. Cleveland is back on, that's October 8th.

The 9th is Indianapolis. The 10th is Grand Rapids. The 11th is Detroit, Michigan. The 12th is Milwaukee, Wisconsin. And the 13th is Madison, Wisconsin. And those are just one show a night. So I'm making some adjustments to get that, get a little more calm. To get a little bit more calm in my water.

You know, some of the water inside of me, some of them, it's just been, it's been damn drastic. Like these hurricanes coming in. They have a new hurricane, I think, Yolberto or something. This thing, who knows? I don't know. I will say this, if they're going to build a wall, let's build it over there on Florida and stop these. Cause some of these canes are coming in illegally. I will say that.

A lot of canes rolling into this bastard on the IL, bro. And the short for illegal. Um, I got a information here too, man. I'm not going to do the film, the, in Atlanta. So it, uh, I got there, did the training, everything was cool. Um, and the part was just for the amount of time commitment and for the sacrifice of shows and, um, of other stuff I have going on here. Once I saw the part, it just wasn't for me. It wasn't, it was too much on the scale of, oh, you can't, you can't be there for eight to 10 weeks.

Uh, for this role. So the role just didn't fit. Um, you know, I thought about it and talked with, you know, people I trust and friends and people who are, have more experience than I do for a few days and got that. You know, communication. I got straight communication with others. And, um, and that was that. And then I just made that choice. I talked to, to, uh, the director, um, talked to Chris Pratt about it and that was that, uh, and that was my decision.

Um, there was no ill will. There was no bad vibes. Um, you know, it was just, at some point, I just had to trust my instincts. It was just like, oh, for me right now, this role, you know, um, and I didn't, I didn't get to see the script. I didn't get to see the script before I went. So there wasn't the opportunity for me to see what my part was going to be. And I think there was a little bit of miscommunication. Um, but I don't think it was anybody's fault.

Uh, and, and that was that I'm thankful that I was able to decommit without causing any problems. And I'm grateful that I even, you know, was considered and that I even had the opportunity, um, to do it. You know, I think there's some parts about it that I'll miss out on doing, you know, but it was just the time commitment for, uh, the stuff for this, for the role for what the role ended up being for me. Wasn't, it just didn't work for me. It didn't work for me. Um, and some people will be like, well, you know, you, I mean, you got to take it. It's a movie, but, you know, I have a lot. I mean, I have, uh, you know, I already have enough kind of responsibilities going on and, um, and that was it.

That was just a choice. I had to trust my instincts, you know, I had to trust my instincts and that was, uh, and that was it. So I'm bum, man. I had, you know, I had visions in my head of eating hot dogs and stuff with, uh, with Christopher Pratt. And doing, you know, maybe, you know, having a second hot dog or sitting in chat and, you know, conversations going well. We're talking about baseball or something or having a couple of peanuts or something. And I had, you know, visions like that in my head. You know, us doing something, maybe going to a, I don't know, doing, you know, throwing coins in a wishing well or something.

And just hoping for the best or, you know, maybe, you know, maybe, um, I had visions of us maybe, uh, you know, driving in like a Jeep or something. But nothing wild or anything, nothing sexual or anything like that. I just had, you know, fun ideas in my head, you know, or maybe us, you know, doing, you know, nothing crazy, but just looking for, you know, maybe looking at art or something, you know, somewhere. Or, um, you know, or maybe throwing those, uh, circus peanuts, those beautiful little, you know, orange fuck, you know, soft hard hitters throwing those into each other's mouths and stuff from kind of close range, but then getting further and further apart, you know, you know, until it got too dark out to see them and throw them back and forth and catch them in your mouths. But, oh, but, but, you know, that's that. And, and, you know, I, yeah, I know that, like, if I get to be in a film or something, it's not going to be, you know, it isn't in my movie, you know, um, but I do want to be able to be in a role where I feel like I can at least do some stuff that you get that my personality maybe works well in. Um, and yeah, and this wasn't anybody's fault. It was just sort of just kind of, you know, I just had to trust my instincts and stuff once I, once I was able to, you know, read the part and look at it. And I still think Christopher Pratt's probably one of the top, you know, 15 or maybe, I don't know, you know, 18 or even probably, I don't know, I bet he'd be on God's fantasy team though. And so, you know, that's all good. And communication was there was upfront communication and, um, and yeah, hopefully there'll be maybe be some other opportunities. We'll see, you know, but that, you know, I just had to kind of trust my instincts.

And we, and if I sound down right now, well, it's because Drew Brees got hurt, man. He got hurt. And you know, you could just, and it's so funny. I was watching the game and the Saint, the New Orleans Saints and the Los Angeles Rams, who most people even have not even heard of that team, but they were going at it. And it was exciting right in the beginning and, and then Drew Brees got hurt. And it was so funny. I would have rather watched when the camera would cut to him. You got to see somebody, you know, here he is, he's 40 years old and the injury looks kind of like it could be bad. You know, he couldn't even pick up a football. And it just, he couldn't even grip that freaking pig, that little, that little, you know, deceased brown pig. Isn't it crazy that a football is a pig? That it used to be a pig and now it's just, you know, they cut off the head and tied off the ends of it and put those white, you know, try to kind of give it some white stitches or something by the liver. And now they're throwing it around, man. I mean, this, you know, we think we're so far removed from what is it called? Uh, not the Ice Age or something, but um, bestiality? No.

Um, you know, we think we're so far removed from, I don't know what it's called, neolithic, the neo pale, uh, old days, the old days, let's agree with that. We think we're so far removed from the old days, but then here you see, you know, a bunch of guys throwing around that, um, just throwing around that, that little ripped up swine chunk. And you're like, damn, we are, we are still, we are a little bit stuck in the past, you know, uh, but, uh, what was I talking about? But yeah, but Drew Brees got hurt and at some point I was enjoying, not enjoying, but I was, there was more, every time the camera cut to him, man, it was just so much, it was more entertaining than the game. Because I was watching this man who had, you know, this was a man who had the world on his back and who you could tell how, just how determined he was and how focused he was in every game you can tell it. Like he's playing the game, but he's also playing this bigger game. Like what he's doing right now always seems like just a move in a grander scheme of his life. Like he, and he's able to do both at the same time, it always seems like, um, and you were just seeing him, just how limited he was by the, by the, by the moment.

You know, you could see him and he couldn't, and how limited he was by his vessel, by his own body. He couldn't grip that hand, he couldn't close that hand up and he couldn't grip a football and he couldn't express himself. You know, when you started to just see a man that was limited by, you know, it's like even whatever that desire, that fire inside of us that, that want, you know, where it's all limited a little bit. Limited a little bit by the reality, by the actuality of what's going on by circumstance. And man, that was a much greater game to me was just seeing the look in his eyes, the mental game that was going on inside of him, trying to hold his composure and trying to almost in the moment find out who he was when suddenly he was, when suddenly the, the path he had been on came to an abrupt, like there weren't anymore, there was no more path for it just came to a, like a cul-de-sac. And you were trying, he had just so much energy, so many people behind him, so many, I mean so many Saints fans, you saw him winning a championship again, you saw him, you know, you already had these visions of him like hugging his kids again under the whatever that is. Paper, the paper, the little paper rain.

Fuck, man, my brain is stalled out, dude. What is my brain, a Dotson? This shit is, shit needs oil. But you saw him stalled out, the confetti, you saw, you know, and you just saw and suddenly everything stopped, man, all of it, it just, and you saw him trying to find out for a month. Or that's what I saw, saw a man struggling to know who he was at this moment when the world had taken, you know, a different, a different turn, you know, when, when the reality that whatever we want always isn't what's going to happen. Or that things aren't going to work out perfectly, or that when reality strikes, you know. And man, it broke your heart as a fan, it broke your heart as a human, I feel like, to see someone with so much capability and so many people who look up to him or look at him as a figure of direction, an example. And suddenly he, you see him come almost, even though he didn't put himself into the atmosphere, you see him, and I did, I put him up in the atmosphere, I put him up, you see him come back down to earth. And it's, I don't know, it was, man, it was, it was hectic, man, that was a hectic moment. We got some, we got, we got, look, today, you know, I know that we've been, you know, we've had a couple of guys recently that have called in the young fellow who had the surprise baby.

Dude, that's got, I mean, well, we're going to check in with those people, you know, we're going to give them that ring of ling and see what's cracking over there in their hood. Especially that surprise baby boy. Like that's what I'm saying. Who is it? What's going on here? Knock, knock, who's there? And then ta-da, you know, gestation. They got that baby, that hitter, that zygote. That's got to be crazy. If you think, you know, you just, you, I got, so we're going to find out how that all went down because that fellow just didn't know they were having a baby. And we will get into, we'll get into a call. Also, I'm going to give a call over to the big dog himself, Mr. Drippy Mitz, you know, and that boy had that water hanging. And he had that unique water hand. And so we're going to get into some of that and just see what's going on. We had a call that came in and I'll get to that in just a second. I want to let you, I just want to let you know we got to pay the bill, you know it. The hiring process can be slow.

And you know that if you're trying to hire somebody and they come by the house and they, you know, they, I remember sometime they park in your yard. You're not getting a job if you parked in my fucking azaleas, bro. You out. You know, I remember one time my mom was hiring somebody to do something in the house, fix the, the cabinet had fallen down. Because my brother and I put a little bit of fire in it, actually. And, and this, and this fella fucking him and his buddy camped out in our yard for like a week and a half and never did the work either. So pieces of shit. But anyway, hiring can be a slow process. Well, Cafe Altura's COO Dylan Mischowitz needed to hire a director of coffee for his organic coffee company, but he was having trouble finding qualified applicants. So he switched to zip recruiter, zip recruiter.

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That's ziprecruiter.com slash tpw ziprecruiter.com slash tpw ziprecruiter the smartest way to hire. We got some great calls that came in and let's do this is the last ad and we're going to get it through this. This episode also look if you if you need to find somebody to work for you, you guys zip recruiter. Okay, if you need a skill to take to an employer, you got Skillshare. Skillshare boy, think about something you could do learn how to make a nice mole. You know, or mole or whatever you want. I'm talking about the sauce you never order at the Mexican place because you don't know how to say it. And some people risk thinking it's actual mole.

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That's skillshare.com slash Theo Vaughn. Yeah, we have some calls that have come in and we got a lot, you know, and I listened to all of them this weekend. And thank you. A lot of them, some of them is real dirty. One guy doing just doing gas, doing body gas into the, you know, receiver. One guy tickling somebody in his truck. Dude, you know, I actually, and actually, you know what, thank you for that one. That was actually probably one of the better ones. But a lot of great calls that came in and so we will, and let's get into a couple of those right now.

As always, the hotline is nine, eight, five, six, six, four, nine, five, zero, three. And then I'm going to make a few calls of my own to some of some of the recent calls that have come in and get some follow up. Let's get into this one gang. Hey Theo Vaughn, this is Zachary Chano calling from Cincinnati. What's up Zachary and a friend of mine actually over there in Cincinnati. He had a couple milkshakes one time and this was late at night. And they had two sisters out there. This one lady, this urban, you know, this beautiful urban lady named, I think Vasectomy.

I think was her name actually, exotic dancer, Vasectomy Harper. And anyway, she and this other lady were fist fighting one night in Cincinnati. And he went over there to make a video of him and his pants fell down because he was kind of chubby. And, you know, and I guess that doesn't matter that he was chubby. His pants didn't, his pants, first of all, they were shorts. So they weren't pants and they just, he just dressed like shit. This man Gary was his name. And so anyway, his pants hit the floor and he was video recording the ladies and Vasectomy and this other lady really came over and beat his ass.

And he tried to keep the milkshakes without spilling them the whole time while he was getting beaten. And, and that should be a damn Olympic sport. You know, just, you know, just riding leche. If you got two, you know, handfuls of, you know, the beautiful little sweet leche liquids. And you got a couple of sisters, a couple of, you know, a couple of wild ladies beating that ass. And you got to see, you know, try and keep as much a shake as you can in the cup. And maybe it could be called cup that shake and you got to keep as much as you can and they can only beat you for like a certain amount of time. But anyway, thank you for calling onward.

And I was just trying to see if you had any advice on getting over your first love, honestly. I was 18 when I first met this girl and now I'm 20 and she was my first everything, first girlfriend, first love. We had gotten a dog together and everything I thought we were in it for the long run, you know, and she finally broke up with me. Oh, you got that dog together? This is something that's going on these days. This is something that is going on a relationship animal and you got to shut it down. If it's a real type of animal, if it's a fish dude or you and your girl, you know, y'all split a cricket or something, you know, where y'all go half. On a little oyster, you know, or a Lazard, bro.

That's fine. But once you go and get a puppy or something that can really look at you and maybe remember a little bit of shit, you know, a strong mouse or whatever. You're creating havoc within the NK brother, the nature kingdom because you because you got to join animal. Now you got the animal. She's got the animal. Y'all split up. What is that? Now he's doing what? Now he's all scared. He starts wetting the bed at night.

You know, he hears y'all arguing in the kitchen and shit. You know, he starts eating alone at school. You know, he starts going home with other animals that he's not even really interested in. You know, he starts hiding under the bed. He starts, you know, he sees y'all going y'all separate ways. You know, it's just if you get a relationship animal, it's dangerous. You know, now you got an American water spaniel or whatever. He thinks it's his fault.

You know, he doesn't, you know, he quits, you know, he's staying up late at night and reading, you know, reading scary novels. You know, if you a relationship animal, it's just, it's not that you can't put that kind of pressure on an animal. If you don't know you're married to the person or whatever, bring your own animals into a relationship. You don't get an animal once you're together. Now all that, it's just, it's too much on that animal's back. You know, now you got, you know, next thing you know, you got a raccoon out there. He's vaping by the recycling bin because he can't handle his emotions because he doesn't know, you know, who still cares about him. You know, sure, your little parakeets getting two Christmases now, but it just, I think the risks of it outweigh the reward.

Yeah, and these relationship animals, the two owners, they start fighting and they start giving, both of them are giving the animal a treat. Oh, here I got a treat for you. You love me. You love Danny, don't you? And then, oh, I got a treat for you. You love Sandra. And then the animal doesn't know what to do. It's just treat it out. Now it's all hopped up on treats. It's gained 30, 40 pounds. The next thing you know, it's down there at the damn methadone clinic. So it's just, you can't, don't get a relationship animal. Just that's really all, all that place is going to be is just a cul-de-sac where you get, where you and your partner just drive by and just throw y'all's fucking problems out into the street.

That's all that relationship animal is. So if you're going to get an animal, get an animal for yourself. Don't get this little halfway house, you know, living creature that both of you guys are just using passively, aggressively towards one another. Don't get it because all you're really getting is just a little passive aggressive pet where you guys are just sending it this way and sending it that way. You know, just a little Paul Revere or whatever. Yeah. And next thing you know, it's lashing out. You know, it's at the parakeet park or whatever or the dog park. You know, it's biting other things. It's fucking stealing fruit or something over by the Vons or by the, you know, it's stealing fruit over there by the Wendixie.

It's just, you don't do it. You know, it's just you're better than that. You are better than that. And this animal deserves better. And it'll start thinking if it's, if it's his fault. You know, you'll see sometimes some of these, you know, these animals, these relationship animals and they're out there. You'll see them over there. I see them off of the 101 at night.

Sometimes, you know, kicking a can down the side of the interstate, you know, just, just, I don't know. I think there's just better ways to go about it. That's what I would say. But anyway, I'm really rambling onward. She's going back and sleeping with her ex and can't even think of another girl. Well, now you could do this, dude, if she's sleeping with her ex, you could put a little listening device, a little LD on that, on that animal. So suddenly that little bastard has a, you know, a purpose in the world again. Because he's probably feeling like nobody cares about him right now.

But anyway, man, let me quit thinking about that aspect of this and try and listen to more what's going on with you, brother. Onward. And I just don't know what to do, man. It's just hard to go. It's the moment of your first, you know, just really confusing what to do. So if you had any advice, that'd be really, really appreciated. Yeah, thanks for the call, man. The suggestion, you know, I was talking about this last week, a little, uh, that that first love, that's that first, that's that hot hose hit. You know, it's like drinking off that hose in the summer.

You know, that house hose, that outdoor water spout. And it hurts, man. Because that's the crazy thing about a heart. A heart really, it's like a hand brush. It feels, you know, and your heart just gets so used to just feeling somebody. It's almost like they're in there. And then when they're gone, it's like, man, there's this piece of your heart that you just, it's not, it's not, you can't feel them in there anymore. And that hurts.

The saddest thing is time. A lot of it's just going to be time. And one joy in it, or one thing that's positive is that at least you have that, at least you care. At least you know that you can care about others. You can love others. You got that ability to, um, you got those, uh, what is it called? Those pulmonary capabilities. Because if you, if you're the person who your girlfriend leaves, you don't give a damn.

You just start doing construction or whatever. And, you know, people start going missing in your town, then that's different than you are. You're violent. You're a dark, dark angel. But that's not you, man. You know, you're somebody that has some feelings and, uh, and I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry you're going through that because yet sucks. You know, my first girlfriend, I put, I put these motherly qualities on her.

And so when she left me or when she, when she left me, fuck, we were children, dude. I mean, Jesus Christ. It's not like, I mean, both of us, if we actually wanted to leave somewhere, we had to have our parents pick us up. But when, uh, when we, when we went our separate ways, uh, you know, I felt, I remember, I even remember, um, I remember saying, I remember you, I was saying, you can't leave me, you know, you are my mom. That's what I remember telling her. That's crazy. That's how bent out.

I was emotionally, you know, because I just attached all these feelings that I'd never had a place to really attach them that much. I'd attached them to this girl and, uh, and time helps, man. And don't do anything drastic. Don't do anything crazy. Don't hide on her porch or anything like that. And don't be out there, you know, by a garbage and looking for shit or, you know, just bypass all of that. You know, uh, sometimes, dude, sometimes you got to stand on the sidelines and still look like you, like a man, even though, you know, things have changed.

You know, the, you know, just like Drew Brees, man, the day that the Druzic died, the day the Druzic died. That's, that's an old song. Nobody even knows that shit. Whatever dude. Uh, but I'm sorry, bro. Tighten up, dude. G up. Don't start masturbating and doing all that.

Don't look to pornography. Hold the line. You can do it. Go get a Drew Brees jersey and get back out there bucko. Because I think you got this, but don't put all this pressure on that animal. You know, don't be over there, you know, trying to ask the animal. You know, beating on the aquarium, asking what it heard. You know, was she having guys over in the animal?

You know, he's just like, so just don't whatever kind of animal. We all got a snake or something. Don't fucking write dirty messages on the side of the snake and let it loose on her side of the apartment or whatever. You know, you know, the world ends tonight. She sees that, you know, sees y'all's pet run by or something with a little sign on its back. If you got a little law, you know, Australian shepherd or whatever, just be a man. There's a way to be a man and go through this, man. A write a country song.

Listen to country dog. Get some plug tobacco and drive out of the distance and fucking cry into a stranger's ditch. Bro, if you want to know what I really did. And that's what I did, man. Dude, I used to fucking, I remember I would be out there. I was working on a farm over there outside of Natchez, Mississippi. And I would dude, I would get a big plug of tobacco until my whole face burned. And I had an abnatural reaction.

So my face would turn real red when I would do plug tobacco. God damn, I looked like a, I mean, my shit was so fucking red. I look like a newborn. I look like a damn tall newborn with some overalls on. And, uh, and yeah, I would just do so much fucking tobacco. And sometimes I would swallow it. I was so angry that me and this girl had broken up. I would swallow a big chunk of it and just vomit off the back of that tractor.

So, but you can do it, man. You keep your head up, bro. I promise you, man. You're going to have, you know, there's going to be other opportunities for other love around the corner men and different types of love. You're going to love other people differently. Um, but that, that first suck off that nectarine, bro, that first, you know, God dang boy, especially if you're young, bro.

You know, when you can be sober and have sex too, when you're young, bro, sober sex is for children. And I've always said that, dude, if you see some two sober adults fucking, bro, that shit is, mm, mm, mm, mm. I want to throw three or $4 in the church basket after that because something, it's just something. It's an awkward. That's a tough deal.

That's a par 30 right there, brother. Um, all right, what do we got here? Actually, this call came in, man. Let me throw this in your ear right here. Here we go. Hey, what up, Theo? This is Brett from California. I'm just calling in because I'm hyped, man.

Uh, I just went out on a date, I guess you could say with a girl that I went to high school with, you know, I'm like 26 now. So things are a bit different, but man, this is one of those girls that we've looked at, you know, saw pictures on the internet or whatever going just be like way out of my league. Yeah. Oh man, I remember one time there was this girl, Nicole was her name and, uh, dude, she liked me one time I found out and I got high and I ate some

mushrooms and actually jumped over a fence at a party right when she gave me her number and ripped my hand open ripped, uh, had to go to the emergency room. But, um, but after that, I kind of settled down and I asked her on it to a dance and she went with me. And afterwards we're at my buddy's apartment or his house, his parents house and he lived down in a lower portion of their house. They had a lower portion and he lived there and I was down there with her and she let me, you know, and she had on a skirt dude and I got it right up.

It kind of, she was sitting on a pool table and that's not like a water table. It's not like, uh, people, it's like a pool table, you know, for the game pool with the stick and the balls. I'm not thinking of the game of, uh, it's not like a pool, like a swimming pool. Um, yeah, it's not like that. It's not like a small pool you could eat off of. It's like a game and they had it indoors and she's sitting on there, dude, and she had on these, uh, well, she had on panties, bro.

Unders, you know, and dude, and when you're young, bro, you get your hands up legs, bro, everything, my neck was turning in circles, bro. My tongue kept just flip, flip, flopping back and forth over in my mouth like a fish on the dock because I was just so nervous, dude. And I got too nervous to make the move on her. And I always regretted that because I've, you know, I've hooked up with some real, you know, some, I've hooked up with some, some decent looking ladies and some real, you know, kind of chicks you might meet up by the interstate.

And, uh, but damn, I never, ever, I've never, I always regretted that. My God. And she had these hips, boy, like these kind of brown kind of like beige kind of look like somebody just kind of cooked her legs and butter a little bit, just beautiful skin tone. God damn, she had those buttery, just fucking hitters, boy. And I still think about her sometimes, man, I still sometimes close my eyes and just want to just bite the ass cheeks off that little beautiful falcon, bro.

Onward. She is way too out of my league, but I, uh, I don't know, man, I just shot my shot and took her out today and had the best time ever. Gang, I know I'm feeling like I should go for it again, but at the same time a bit pensive because I'm intimidated, I guess by her attractiveness. And at the same time, I don't know, we get along really well. So I guess I'm tripping. I don't know, man.

Just calling to see what you think about it. I'm not trying to brag. I'm just trying to get a little input on how I should approach it from here on out. Gang, bro, I like your attitude, man. It doesn't sound like you're trying to brag. So I like that you have that awareness, though, to try and think about that. That's a nice gift. Some people don't have that.

You know, I think, uh, a lot of it, some of it's going to be out of your control. You can only control what you can control. So how she behaves is nothing you could really do to affect that, especially if you're trying to be on the up and up, if you're not trying to trick her or something. So a problem I did, I mean, I can only relate in the ways that errors that I made, I put a woman on a pedestal, I'll put her way up here on cloud six year, whatever. And I should have had her on cloud three or whatever by me. So then that way on cloud three, I can communicate with her like a, you know,

just like a peer instead of communicating her with her like this, you know, thing that I'd built her up so much in my head that I was afraid to even talk to her. I would just put her on a level where you can communicate whether keep her there. And, uh, I would be honest, but I would just kind of just take it easy. You know, slow and steady wins the race always because what if she's not ready right now today, but then you, you're laying the groundwork for later. Um, you just don't want to burn the bridge. Uh, you know, you don't want to burn the bridge while there's, you know,

while there's before somebody puts bacon on it or whatever, you know what I'm saying? So, uh, so yeah, I would, I would just take it easy, man. If you're not sure if you should do something, don't do it. Talk with a buddy, but take it easy, man. And then, you know, next time you take her out, do something fun, do something exciting, do something, you know, that's kind of cool and be confident about whatever you're going to do. And if she brushes you off or something, then that's okay. And if she doesn't, then that's okay too.

Either way, you're good. Uh, we had some calls that came in, man. I want to, I want to, I want to buzz a couple of these, you know, because just the baby, we got Cam, we got Will, we got the, you know, we had the magical baby, some guy, his wife. Um, well, let's start right there. We had this, uh, this fellow, let's listen to a little bit of the call that came in because his wife had a child and they didn't know about it. I've never heard a surprise baby story, but the day after the fourth of July, we had a baby boy

and we had no idea that was coming. She took some tests back in November all came back, not pregnant. She was having her cycle. Fourth of July, she thought she was concentrated all day long. I was driving around going to go to a pool party listening to King and the Sting. And, you know, she said she thought she was concentrated and feel good. So we were going to go to the ER together and she ended up going home, going to sleep. So I was waiting to get that call.

She wanted to go, but I never got a call and by her apartment car was gone. Call the hospital said they were getting, uh, she was getting transported there and came by. Her dad was outside waiting for me saying I was going to be a daddy. I remember one time I was all fucked up. I ordered a pizza and didn't know, right? I forgot. So me a little bit later, this person shows up and they're pissed, dude, because they tried. They've been knocking at the door for like 30 minutes, bro. So this motherfucker broke a bunch of plant pots on my porch.

Um, and, and, I mean, I got the pizza, but, you know, it was just, it was horrible, bro. I never, I just, it was stupid. But, um, anyway, they, you know, you got. So anyway, yes, sometimes maybe you'll get an errant pizza. You know, you get that surprise pie, but rarely do you get a human that drops in your life that you got to care about forever. Unexpectedly. So let's check in with Mike right here. Hello.

Big Mike. Hey, what's up, man? What's up, man? This is Theo Vaughn, dude. How are you today? Hey, good. How you doing? I'm doing good. Would you think it was another baby calling? No, no, no, not that. Hopefully not. Wouldn't that be crazy, bro? That would be crazy, man. I don't really know what I would expect after that.

I was scared it was going to be twin. Dude, that's so wild, man. How is, uh, tell me about the baby. I want to know because you guys had that surprise baby. You guys weren't expecting it, right? No, we weren't expecting it at all. I mean, I didn't know he was coming to about three hours before he was born. Um, I mean, he's about twice the size he was born now. We, uh, he has two most shots a couple of days ago. He's almost 12 pounds and he came out about six pounds. He was tiny, man. Um, like fit under my forearm.

He was probably like a week premature. Oh yeah. I mean, she only weighed, like my wife only weighs, well, she was my girlfriend at the time, but, uh, she only weighs about like 130, 125 pounds. Like she's not a big girl, man. So, um, she only gains about maybe eight, nine pounds with the baby. So I just thought, man, she was just getting a belly. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. Dude, winter's coming. Y'all are getting to know each y'all. You know, you kind of know each other by now. So, I mean, I asked my brother and my dad, I was like, how do I tell my girlfriend?

Like, you know, she's getting, she's getting a bit of a belly on there. It's like, you don't say anything. I didn't, I mean, I didn't say nothing. I was sneaking little hands like, Hey, like I'm going to the gym tonight. Like you want to, you want to come run the elliptical with me or something. Damn. Like, or Hey, like, and that's your child the whole time. That's the, the, the, the, she's getting, she's getting jacked with your son. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. Like, I mean, a week before he was born,

we were in Asheville and we were on a three mile hike in the mountains. And yeah. Dang, this almost sounds biblical now, baby. You getting out there into the hills, dude. I was just, I was just glad he wasn't born at that time. And you didn't know he was, you didn't know? We had no idea, man. I mean, her summit was hard, you know, but like, I just, we'd be cuddling the night and stuff and I'd have my hand around. I mean, nothing ever kicked. I mean, she was getting her period every month still.

Like she took a couple of tests back in November and they all came back like not pregnant. She would get sick every now and then. Man, we'd go to like, I mean, we'd go out, you know, like I'm 24. She's 23. Yeah. So you guys went out to the bars and everything, huh? Yeah, we would go out to like the bar. Hey, man, dude, I want to meet this baby, bro. This baby likes to fucking go ham, son. I like it. He's done some shit. She's only 130 pounds because honestly, bro, I think everybody thought she was fat. No, man. Cause like even

how do you get a sneaky baby? You know what I'm saying? Look, we've all, we all got fat, man. I got a huge, my ass has too big, you know, I have huge ass, but, um, but yeah, I can't believe, I mean, that's whatever, you know, in everybody's mind, you think of a larger lady not knowing that they got that baby in them. No, exactly, man. She's not a, she's not a big girl. She's a tiny, she's a tiny woman. How do you hide a baby in a tiny woman, dude? This is almost like a you know, Siegfried and Roy or something.

She has a, she has something called endometriosis and what the doctors think is, um, she would bleed sometimes and they think that he was hiding in the fallopian tube. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. He was like in some, like hiding under a cyst or something in her stomach. So that's why like her stomach didn't grow out really. Bro, he's a real snake. This little MF for, huh? Now he is, man. He is. And they had about, they had about 12, 15 nurses

in the way, in like the, the birthing room with us, because they didn't know what was going to happen, man. Nobody knew what was going to happen. I mean, all they could tell us is that he has a heart, like he has a heartbeat. I didn't even know he was a boy until he came out. Wow. I was just, that whole two hours, man, I'll be honest with you, I was just freaking out on how he would come out like healthy wise. Yeah, I bet. I can only imagine at that point you're like, Jesus. So you went from not even knowing you were having a baby to, to by that night, you were a father?

Yes, sir. I, he was born on one of the morning on July 5th. So he was almost a 4th of July baby. But he, he waited about an hour. Damn, man. Gee, Burs, dude. Yeah, it sounds like he was getting caught up into something. He's hiding out in his mom. He's showing up right at, you know, after midnight on the 4th of July. It sounds like he's really looking for trouble. No, exactly. Exactly.

And what's his name now? Did you guys give him a name or what is it? Yeah, his name is Monroe Emerson Baku. He's named after actually not really named after anybody. Man, we have a tradition in my family with guys, we do an M for the first name, E for the middle name. And like an hour before he was born, we were just writing down ideas on a whiteboard and some of the nurses were helping us out. We just crossed off the ones that she liked. And the next day when a little pregnancy brain was gone, we just kind of picked the ones she liked and that's the ones she liked the most. Wow.

Monroe. So, so y'all didn't have a, um, y'all didn't have a like a crib or anything at home for him? Bro, we had, we had nothing, bro. Jesus Christ. We didn't even have a car seat to leave with, man. They had, they made us go, we had to get a car seat because he was a premature baby. Yeah, premature nation, bro. Shout out to all the prematureers too, dude. Those people don't get any respect, man. Gang, gang, Nick said. Exactly, exactly. He, uh, they had to do a car seat test.

They had to take him for a couple hours, uh, right around a car with him to make sure his heart rate wouldn't go up or anything. Damn. That's like when the police, when you go ride with the police or whatever and see him get, uh, get people. Exactly, exactly. So he's just wading into the world and how's he doing now? He's doing good, man. He's completely healthy. He's got a big ass head. Um, he's got in that high percent tower head, got a little, a little chubby, but I mean, he was small man, but like they say he's perfectly healthy now. Amen. Um, he got all his shots

a couple of days ago. He's up the, up the speed and all that. Oh yeah. He's just, we're just kind of hanging out right now until, uh, I'm trying to, I'm in construction. It's like, I'm trying to build our own little starter home right now. So I'm trying to do something like that. And we're just kind of living in between places, but yeah, dude. Well, I see what you're why. I mean, I just wonder if you, what else you, what's your wife's next big reveal, you know? Yeah. Hopefully nothing wild, man. I don't know. She needs to calm down with us for a little while.

Dude, you might want to get her a, um, a breathalyzer or something. You know, see if she's put, you know, if she's going to have another one or not breathalyzer, but uh, what's that thing where they hook you up and see if you're telling the truth. A polygram. Yeah. Get her that polygram, dude. You know what I'm saying, bruh? No, yeah. I need to get her one of those. Bro, you didn't, you weren't like laying there. You weren't ever laying there and felt the baby kick or anything. He never kicked at all, man. I mean, we hung, we hang out every single day, man.

Damn. Is he a mind, bruh? This just sounds so wild. I don't know, man. And then I have pictures like we went to this gala in Wilmington, um, for this big festival thing back the beginning of May. So at this point she was probably like seven months and we have pictures like of her and me and, I mean, you just can't even tell, man. Um, I had a lot of pictures. I mean, I got that picture the night before we went hiking. We were out on Nashville and she had this tight little dress on me.

Real, real big, but I mean, I just thought that I was, you know, I was going to have a good night. You know what I'm saying, bruh? I didn't think that they were just bigger than usual. Them tits, yeah. And what about were y'all doing drugs or anything like that? Cause that seems like it'd be wild. I mean, I guess I can, I can kind of talk about this now, I guess, because like we were truthful to the social workers and everybody and what we were doing in the pregnancy because we had no idea, but I mean, yeah, we did. I mean, do the week before we were in the mountains, we did a little, a little stuff.

Hell yeah, boy. I'll fucking do something if I had it, bruh, but I can't do it, but I want some. You know what I'm saying, boy? And ever since I haven't done any since, man. I want to fucking get some, bruh, but I can't, but whatever, dawg. We ain't thinking about that, dawg. But damn, bruh, that's what I'm saying. You guys might have that new way to do birthing that, you know, just kind of let it do its thing. You do your thing and then you'll meet up when it's time, you know, for the baby to show out in the world. Exactly, man. I think it all worked out in its own cause we weren't really together

when we conceived him. I mean, we were talking and stuff like that. And I felt like we knew that she was pregnant. We probably would have had to force ourselves to be together and everything. Wow. It all just kind of worked itself out in a way. And then I mean, a couple of weeks after he was conceived, I was in a pretty, pretty bad car accident, crushed up truck. And then I mean, I didn't know why I was still walking around, but I guess that, I mean, he, you know, eight months later, I kind of figured out why I was walking around. You know what I mean?

Hey, man, bruh. Yeah, that's cool, dude. Damn. And so it sounds like yeah, you sound like you're in good spirits now. So things are kind of cruising along pretty good. Yeah, man. It's pretty long, pretty good. Kind of gives me like a self urgency kind of thing. Makes me a little bit, get going a little more at work trying to get stuff done. Yeah, I like that. Even if I'm having a bad day, I know I'm gonna come home to him and try to get some going a little bit. That's exciting, huh? It is exciting, man. It's just like a

family that I didn't expect to get so soon, but I got it. And I'm happy, man. Wow. That's crazy, man. Wow, bro. What a crazy story, man. I know it's pretty wild, man. Her uncle, he's in filming and stuff and we went up to Ohio the other weekend and he did this little production video stuff with us and he's trying to send it into the PLC right now when he gets it all edited out for that TV show. Oh, interesting. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I guess

there's people having surprised children out there. Yeah, and that's the thing too, man. Like, if I was watching that show before, I'd think it's people are wild. How do you not know that your wife or whatever is pregnant, but man, it's people don't bullshit, man. It's the real stuff, I guess. And bitch is behind the shit, man. Let's be honest, dude. You know what I'm saying? Bro, I saw a chart the other day. It says six out of 11 bitches be keeping secrets. So, I mean, you know, it could happen.

Is there any warning signs you would give to fathers who may not realize they're about to be a father? Something that they can look like, looking back, is there any way a guy could tell maybe that his wife is pregnant? Maybe anything he should look out for? I don't know, man. It's hard. I mean, I guess if she like, because she would get sick sometimes, if you see your girlfriend or your wife sporadically throwing up randomly, think to have it in the back of your mind I mean, she would never even have food urges, man.

I think that whole thing is a myth, too. If someone thinks that they're pregnant, they feel like they can eat just whatever they want because there would never be a time, there was never a time where she would be like, hey, let's go get this to eat, or hey, let's go get this to eat. It was just a regular eating schedule. I mean, she was even on a keto diet, bro. There were days where she wouldn't eat till three or four in the fucking afternoon. Dude, this baby sounds amazing, bro. Drugs, keto. This baby could probably pledge a frat, bro. Probably. Probably. He'd get in.

Dude, that's amazing, man. Munro, brother. Yeah, it's wild, man. That's a wild story. Well, dude, is it cool if we check in every now and then on this baby, dude? Because this thing, I don't know what he might do next, you know? That's what we got to kick out of when you said he'd be a secret agent, man. Because that's exactly what he would probably be. Just not even making noise coming behind somebody and crack their neck.

I'm like, is he a mime? How do you stay still for nine months, bro? Yeah, I know, man. He's definitely not quiet now, man. Little fucker can cry. Once he got out, he let us know he was around. Wow, man. Well, look, this is an exciting story because for me, it just reminds me that there's possibility in the world that anything can kind of happen in that, you know, that just that thing, you know, just that things can occur. Sometimes we get so stagnant thinking that nothing, you know, there might not be any magic left

in the world, but that's definitely, it sounds about as almost mystical as you could get. It is, man, because I mean, with her, like, and her family genes, I mean, she didn't think that she'd be having really any kids anytime soon. And then my history, man, I mean, I got a bad history with, like, drugs and shit like that. So, I mean, I didn't really think I could produce like that, you know what I mean? And I guess, I mean, she was on that strong ass work control, man. Damn. They're shooting your arm. Jesus, bro.

I'm gonna take the swimmer's dog because I don't know, man. So, that's why I mean, it is. That's like the shit they got at the zoo, bro. That's that strong strand, man. Yeah, exactly. Damn, boy. Well, dang, dude, you guys are really, I can't wait to see what y'all do next, man. Man, I mean, y'all can call whenever you want, man. I've always got my phone on me going into something. Okay, we will, man. We'll check in with the baby. We send Nick a picture so we have just an image we can put up of Monroe.

Yeah, man. We actually do like these little family portrait things that my mom last week. I can send a picture of him or like all of us, whatever y'all want. Yeah, that'd be cool, man. Is your mother excited about having a grandchild? Oh, yeah, man. It's her first grandchild. She's all over the place. Cool, man. Well, it sounds like you guys almost got force fed kind of like a new beginning in a weird way. Exactly, exactly. Yeah. Well, I hope you make the most of it, man, and congratulations on your son.

I appreciate it, man. Thanks for calling. Yeah, you bet, bro. We'll talk to you soon, man, and tell all that secret agent I said to keep it low key, you know. Oh, yeah. Exactly. I got you. I got you. All right. Take care, brother. All right, man. You guys do talk to you. Peace. Wow. I can't. I mean, I've waited for, you know, I've had things show up. I didn't expect, you know, we got that, all that plastic wrap come at one time, but man, imagine you tickling your girlfriend and then you got a child.

That's what I mean, you know, imagine just anything. Y'all go, you know, you have a couple of, you know, a couple ham steaks or whatever. And then bam, you know, you got a child or anything. You watching a movie an hour later, you got a fucking child, bro. I mean, it never stops. They got that magic baby out there. So possibility, possibility. You know, there is, there's always this something around the corner.

Something you just got to hold the line and get there. Hmm. And to the gentleman that called before him, the, you know, there's this, this could be something great that's right around the corner. But even if whatever's right around the corner isn't even though, even if it's not perfect or it's not the best or what you've been wishing for, praying for, it's going to be, there's going to be something

else. There's going to be someone else. There's going to be another opportunity. I think it's only opportunity that's right around the bend usually. You know, if you're, if you're keeping your head up and your eyes forward and your heart open, I think it's only opportunity that's around the corner for you. So I think that you know, we got somebody's finding, you know, right there, a guy, you know,

a woman he thought it's out of his league and suddenly they're playing, you know, they playing the ball together. There you go. Alright, I want to make a call right now to Cam and he, you guys remember his call was this. I got a problem with these sweaty hands, man. My dad had problems with it, tells me not to worry about it, but it comes a problem on dates, man. Oh, you got them sweaty hands, huh? You got them leaky mitts, baby, tell me more. Just wondering some advice that maybe

you could give a young guy sweaty hands, trying to forgot this world, man. Oh, you got that drip shake, huh? Hmm. I can only imagine, man, you try to shake somebody's hand and you and your daddy probably can't even handshake. Because it's just like a, just like two, like two fists trying to, just like two fists trying to hug and they can't, it's like, hmm. Alright, and I want to make a call to my boy Cam now. You know, your boy had that drool hand, Luke, really, and I wanted to

check in with him because a lot of great suggestions came in for him from different listeners. Yeah, you guys remember Cam, he and his father both had the same situation where they get extra water on their hands. So they could you know, definitely a liability, probably if you, you know, maybe playing certain board games or things like that. But also a unique witty. You know, that's a unique witty when you have a special I mean, shit, if God comes looking for an actual Aquaman

then you know, they're going to have, they're going to be right there at the front of the line where my dry ass is going to be back there at the back. But let's put a buzz into him right now. Hello? Big Cam. What's up, man? What's up Playboy Theo? What are you doing, bro? I'm doing okay, man. You know, I'm getting through me. Dude, I've always got something wrong with me. Dude, always, man.

Thank you, bro. I think I needed to hear that today, man. And I appreciate you calling into about the hyper hydrosis, man. You got those drippy myths, dude. I want to know more about it. Yeah, man. I've actually done a lot better since I saw that shit, man. So I showed it to my dad. He thought it was fucking hilarious, man. I appreciate that. Good. And I had a few people at work tell me to get like a shirt that said drippy myths on it. And I was like, I don't know, bro. Yeah, I don't know if you need that. I don't even know if that was the best

nickname either, man, so. Nah, dude, but it was pretty fucking funny, man. Like, I really appreciate you even having me on, man. You know, shit. Yeah, well, it's interesting, dude, because I was thinking whenever you were talking about that, I was thinking about it a couple days after and I was like, because I've always thought, you know, my hands look like my mother's hands. So I always thought I had woman's hands. So I remember some. Woman's hands, yeah, man. So when I was young, I would tell if I held a girl's hand, I would always remember I've forgotten about this. I would say, you know, I would

say I'm not a woman. I would always tell a girl that if I held her hand or something for something. And I'm sure they were thinking like, well, what in the hell is this guy talking about? Yeah, dude, you might as well just not even say anything, bro. Jesus. I thought I had it back. Good God. Yeah, definitely might as well not even say anything, but unfortunately, I said some stuff. But yeah, I think everybody has just like something that they feel like uncomfortable about. But I guess with your hands, it would be

like the first thing you reach out to somebody with sometimes. Well, yeah, man, I was talking to a dude today, got a good first impression, you know, we were talking about some shit. And then he goes to shake my hand, tap me up or whatever. And I had to wipe my hand off real quick. He didn't fucking care, man, like a fuck. So I mean, some people care about it. And like when they do care, it's like whatever, bro, like fuck off. So what's funny, because it makes me think because sometimes somebody will shake my hand and their hand will be if it's cold and wet,

then that's when I guess I get a little bit alarmed, maybe. Because I'm like, is this person like a living? Are they going to live long? Or is what's going to happen? But if it's just kind of damp, usually I think, oh, maybe they're just kind of nerves, you know, nervous. Is it nerves that kickstarted or what? Do you notice? Yeah, man. I mean, I have pretty bad anxiety problems or I think I do. But like everybody else says they don't notice it and like, I'm fine. But like, should I guess it's all in my head? Like you were talking about like getting out of your head

just the other day. And like, I mean, it's just all in my fucking head, man. So like the more I think about it, the worse it gets. So like, so like if I'm thinking about, oh, man, like, gotta get my hands dry. So, you know, like, hang on this girl's shoulder or whatever. It's like, well, man, you keep fucking thinking about it. So it's not going to happen, man. Like, so it's just like an ongoing game in your head, you know. And then once I get working out, man, it's like, fuck, it's gone because I'm working out and like I'm thinking about like the other task ahead instead of my

fucking hand sweat. So yeah. Yeah, man, I feel you with my house start to think my hair is losing out and then I start looking at it all the time. Then I start losing. Bro, you got fucking killer hair, man. Okay. Don't let anybody tell you different. Appreciate it, man. Thanks, dude. Yeah, I just fuck. But yeah, it's crazy how we just get so stuck in our heads, man. What were some of the things I know some people suggested Botox and people suggested that Ion Ion Ion Taderma. Okay, so I actually looked into the Ion Taderma

and I'm actually probably going to invest in that eventually. But I went to the doctor and he gave me like two solutions. He gave me like, he said I could put like this little rub on my hands that like makes him stay high. Or I could take this little cap or this little pill like say where to go out. It's supposed to like dry me out a little bit, you know. So I had a date and then like I could take that before I've tried it. Like it works pretty well. Like it's trying like I can feel it literally like sucking the damn like moisture out of me, man.

Like my fucking mouth gets all dry and shit. I'm just like fuck. But like I don't know if that'd be more of a problem or what. It works, dude. So hey. That could be more of a problem, dude. You might be that dry daddy, you know. Yeah, man. Be careful what you whisper, you know. I know it's so true, bro. So what did the Ion Taderma, what is it? Dude, I don't even fucking know. Like I looked into it. I think it's like some sort of like electrical shit.

I don't know how there can be like electrical shit in water. I don't fucking know without killing yourself. So. Maybe you're just killing like something inside of you, man. And it just like makes your hand stop. I don't fucking know, dude. It's dark arts where it sounds like. Yeah, man. It sounds like very dark arts and it sounds like you'd have to be like past 10 o'clock at night for you to be able to do it at least. It seems a little sketchy, man. I don't know about all that. I definitely ain't getting no fucking Botox. I don't want to be a freak, man.

Leakin' from my face. Like you're going to sweat from other places if you prevent that. So like I don't want to start sweating fucking from some crazy place on my body that you normally don't sweat from and then you really got a problem. Yeah, that's true, man. You don't. Yeah, that'd be crazy if you just started kind of like just dripping off your earlobes all the time or something. Yeah, dude. Or like say you had like a fucking mustache or something and it's like your mustache and shit. I mean, I'm too young to even be able to grow my

facial hair out yet, but I mean, it could be a problem, man. Cam, dude, I love your attitude, man. Thanks for the good words. And yeah, man, I just appreciate you like just kind of even just like making me think about what that's like. So if I shake somebody's hand and their hand's a little damp like in the future, at least I know, hey, man, maybe this, maybe they have this and then I can discuss it with them, you know. Yeah, man, just feel for them, you know. Like, you say you don't like your nose, man. Well, like, what if you had that fucking nose on your hand or something? I don't know. Like, so.

Yeah, I mean. Yeah, what if every time I just. Yeah. Yeah, everybody's got that thing, man. It's true, bro. And it's funny because the thing is, I bet if we traded and had somebody else's, I wonder if we would be like relieved or if we'd be like, fuck, man, I want my old thing back. Shit, man. I wish we could, man. I could get your nose for a fucking day. Oh, dude, I would moonwalk on my hands. That's the first thing I would fucking do. What the fuck? You could easily do that. Oh, shit.

I mean, I guess. I mean, if you know how to do a handstand long enough. Well, dude, thanks for calling in, dude. And yeah, we'll be in touch, man. We'll reach out and say, hey, sometime. Oh, yeah, bro. It's good to talk to you, man. I'm definitely going to come to a fucking show soon. Yeah. Where do you live at? Charlotte. Oh, nice. I live in North Carolina. So like, so yeah, maybe before if you hear that I'm coming, man, reach out or something and we'll get you some tickets, dude. Hell yeah, dude. Me and my dad will come through. Oh, yeah, that would be great.

You could shake the droopy meds, man. Fuck yeah, boy. Let's double down, dude. Hell yeah. Let's double down. All right, bro. Have a good day, man. I'll talk to you soon. Great to talk to you, man. Love it. You take it easy, man. Or are you two camp gang, bro? Peace. Man, you got to love that. You got to love his energy right there. Let's take a call that came in right here. Onward. Thank you. This is Chris from Wisconsin. What's up, Chris from WI and Green Bay really had that showing out. They showed out yesterday.

Onward. I just wanted to call and let you know that your podcast has really helped out quite a bit, man. About two years ago, my wife went through a hemorrhage after we had our baby girl. Oh, man. Sorry to hear that, brother. Thanks for sharing that. More? It's pretty serious. You could pass away after that. So anyway. Oh, yeah, it's serious, man. I mean, hell, dude, other guys, girl, they're out there

doing drugs or something. The baby's not trying to get out. So that's really, you know, if you're doing drugs and a baby's trying to get out of your body, that's almost like a damn episode of CSISUV or whatever. But onward. Sent my mind in a spiral and she had to get taken away by ambulance and stuff and I thought that, man, I'm going to have to raise these two kids so well and do without my wife, my partner,

my love, everything. Wow. Yeah, sorry to have joked around, man. That's a pretty, that's a real deal right there. I can't imagine that, you know, that you brought your lady rolling off there in that little hope wagging. That's all the ambulance is, bro. And that you're not sure what your future's going to look like, you know. All these things flashing through your head. Onward. My mind going, man. And I went into a pretty messed

up place for actually about two years and it was right around when I started listening to your podcast, man. And I just wanted to let you know, this human might not be the same thing, but other people are going through stuff too and yourself and all that. Yeah, man. It just kind of listening, man. It helped a lot and I'm happy to say like two years after that, my head is great. My family's great. My wife's great. You know, I hope you're taking care of

yourself, man. But your podcast has done a lot to help, dude. I appreciate it. We look forward to you coming back to Milwaukee. Gang, gang. Gang, gang, man. Thanks for that call. Yeah, I will be. I'll be in Milwaukee soon. But yeah, man. It's just, it's so crazy how it will change. It all changes. That's it's going to happen. So if somebody's broken your heart or somebody's done this or somebody's done that, you know, or if you fell in love or you fell out of love or you fell into a job or you decided

not to take a job like me, you know, if you are don't know if you're making the right choice or not making the right choice. Whatever you're feeling right now is going to change. If it's bad, it's going to change. And even if it's good, it's going to change. You know, I get sometimes hooked on, I think you know, I have such a short term memory emotionally. So that's why I make a lot of the same mistakes sometimes because my emotions, they just don't remember what's just occurred.

You know, and so I'll just, it's just I got short term memory, you know, and that's why I'm like, oh, well, how did I find myself here again? It's because I just I don't know. It just, you know, it forgets, your feelings forget. But then maybe that's one of the beautiful things about them too, man. If your feelings remembered all the hurt all the time, oh,

you know, I mean, sometimes they remember enough of it, but if that's all they remembered, that would just be we really wouldn't be a very unique creature, man. We really wouldn't be a special creature. Yeah, and we relate, we relate, we relate. And we forget how much we can relate to one another, don't we? We forget that. Yeah, man, when I saw just everybody's

man, everybody's got something. Everybody's going through something. And that's the that's what that's where we're the same. You know, that's where we're the same and through each other, we can find, you know, a little bit of opportunity to to feel better. I think a lot of times if we're not feeling good, but we get through it, we keep going onward. We keep going onward. That's it.

You know, you get up and you dust your feet off or your legs off or something if you if you got dust on your legs and or whatever, wherever you got dust. And you just, we, you know, we live to fight another day. We live to fight another day, whether we're fighting with our heart or with our head or with our hands. You know, we live to learn another day.

You know, when we brush ourselves off and we put ourselves back out there in the store window, because somebody might see us or we might see somebody, you know, we might be able to be an inspiration for someone or somebody might be able to be an inspiration for us. We just we stay in there. We stay in the we stay in the mosh pit. We stay in the mosh pit, man. And we keep going onward, bro. That's what it is. So anyway, what else is going on with me?

I don't know. I just appreciate all the calls, man. A lot of really just people calling in with what's going on and a lot of people being really real about what's happening in our lives. And it makes me feel connected to people, man. It really does. It makes me feel a little more human than when I when I sat down in this chair today. I mean, it's anything's possible. Anything's possible. You could start turning into Aquaman. You could have a kid

pop out of a chick, you know, and just say it's yours. You know what I'm saying? It's great. Anything is possible. There's a lot of unique things. There's a lot of opportunity. You've got to get up. You got to do it. I'm going to do it, man. I'm going to keep going, bro. Anyway, sorry if this got a little down in Dower. You know, I don't know, but whatever, bro. I'm also not sorry, dude. I don't even know who I am sometimes, but I'm fucking keep trying

to figure it out, boy. Let's take a song right here, man. Let's get us out of here. Uh... And we got it. We got it. You guys be good to yourselves, man. You deserve it, brother. And sisters. Gang gang. Here's Bishop Gunn, anything you want. Music

Music Music Music Music Music Anything you want, man. Music I got to get some more types of music, huh?

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Music Music Thank you guys for your support, man. That means a lot. Music Music Still my best, man. We're doing our best, you know. Music Music

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Music Music You guys take care of yourselves, man. Gang. Music Music Music Music Music