This Past Weekend - Robin Tran | This Past Weekend #89

Episode Date: April 20, 2018

We have our 3rd ever in studio guest. The Scully to my Mulder, I sit down with comedian Robin Tran who also happens to be transgender. We talk about how the transition affected her career and relationships, her goals as a comic, and her last name which is very real and not a pun. Check out Robin Tran Coming out to mom bit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpnba-l3qfc Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robintran04/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/robintran04 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/robintrancomedy/ Music: Stevie Starlight "Come Over" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RbfQri3Nv3M Greyblock Pizza: https://www.greyblockpizza.com Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/theovon ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Theo Von: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theovon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheoVon Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theo.von Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheoVon/ ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gunts for Red October: Patreon Gunt Squad: Alaskan Rock Vodka Angelo Raygun Renee Nicol Matthew Snow Stephanie Claire Steve Corlew Ryan Wolfe Carla Huffman Ben Limes Alexis Caniglia Stoody Stepfan Jefferies David Smith Logan Yakemchuk megan Wrynn Aidan Duffy MEDICATED VETERAN Ken Comstock Dan Ray Audrey Harlan Matthew Popov kristen rogers Josh Cowger Kelly Elliott Mark Glassy Dwehji Majd Jason Haley Jameson Flood Jason Bragg Cory Alvarez Christopher Christensen Scott Lucy Ben Deignan Cody Cummings Shannon Schulte Aaron Stein Ken Melvin Lorell “Loretta†Ray Stacy Blessing Andy Mac Campbell Hile John Kutch Adriana Hernandez Jeffrey Lusero Alex Hitchins Joe Dunn Kennedy Joey Piemonte Robyn Tatu Beau Adams Yoga Shawn-Leigh henry Laura Williams Not Even Wrong Xela Person Mona McCune Suzanne O'Reilly Rashelle Raymond Chad Saltzman James Bown Brian Szilagyi Arielle Nicole Greg H Dave Engelman Dylan Clune Calvin Doyle Robert Doucette Jacob Ortega Jesse Witham Andrea Gagliani Scott Swain William Morris Qie Jenkins Aaron Jones Jon Ross Kevin Best Haley Brown Ned Arick J Garcia Lauren Cribb Ty Oliver Tom in Rural NC Christian from Bakersfield Matthew Holland Charley Dunhamac Casey RobertsSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What's up guys? Welcome to this past whatever today is. We have a guest coming in. We're in studio today and we have a guest coming in, Robin Tran, and she is a comedian and she is also transgender. And I'm not going to pretend like, you know, that's not part of the reason why I want her to come in because I want to, I don't know, just see what's cracking, you know, besides her, you know, sexual origination. So, so anyway, we got Robin Tran coming in. We just shot a pilot together down in Louisiana and we got to spend some time around each other and some of it was just some of the conversation was interesting and fascinating and I thought maybe we would capture some of that today for you guys.

Thank you guys for listening. As always, thank you, Gray Block Pizza, 1811 Pico Boulevard on the way to the beach. Gray Block, you know, get that hitter. Thanks for being here today. Thanks so much for having me. Yeah, sorry, do I seem stressed out? No, but now I can tell you that I'm stressed out. Are you?

Yeah, we're both stressed out. That's great. What's causing you stress today? Just being alive, you know? Being out of my comfort zone. I mean, it's almost like, do you live out of your comfort zone? No, man, I did nothing for literally like three years. And then I started doing everything. Oh, wow.

So it's like I keep missing my bed. But then when I'm in bed, I'm like, no, I got to get the fuck out of here and do something. I got to get going. I'm actually like ambitious for the first time in my life. Nice. Yeah. I quit marijuana like six months ago. I think that's what happened.

Oh, that'll change. One of my best friends quit marijuana and started one of the biggest clothing companies in the world oh my god really yeah geez so things can happen um you um you were depressed what was causing the depression you feel like um half my family i found out actually this year half my family has bipolar disorder like in vietnam even like it's it's just like a chemical imbalance and probably i probably i had a really traumatic childhood you know my dad drank a lot and um my mom had bipolar what he drank do you remember just beer just like you'd have like 10 beers a night yeah and then uh is he bowler or no what's that was he a bowler or no? What's that? Was he a bowler, like a league bowler?

No. I don't think he knows what bowling is even. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's crazy to be drinking that much beer and not know about bowling. Yeah, I know. Yeah, at least we would have had fun if you, yeah, if you knew about bowling, right? Yeah.

But my mom, and my mom would like just be gone for a while because she had to go to like a hospital because, you know, it was undiagnosed bipolar oh wow yeah she had that yeah and so at that point it was just kind of like willy-nilly they didn't know i mean that's probably when they were still putting people on valium and things like that or no yeah yeah i i well it's like not talked about in vietnamese culture like so they just like oh you know we don't know what's wrong with you you know and then it took like years for them finally go, here's some medication. You're sick in the head. Yeah.

This is real funny stuff, right? Yeah, sorry. Yeah, this isn't funny. But it's interesting. Is this supposed to be a funny podcast? It's so bad. No, it's just supposed to be a podcast. It's supposed to be just a conversation.

We don't have to talk about anything in particular. I just thought it would be really interesting. You and I just worked together on a pilot in Louisiana. And you are one of the most unique people I've probably ever met because you are, what is the term, transgender? Yeah, I'm a transgender Vietnamese lesbian. I am a lot of things. And you know what sucks is to be that, to be all that, and to also be self-aware. Because I wish I wasn a lot of things. And you know, what sucks is to be that to be all that and to also be self aware. Because like, I wish I wasn't self aware. You know, I wish that I didn't

know what I look like all the time. Wow. Because like, if I wasn't me, and I saw me, I'd be like, what the fuck? That's the comedian side of you. Like, I told you, like, sometimes I look in the mirror, and I like I get startled. Like I forgot that i'm transgender because i was someone else for 28 years who were you for 28 years was robert robert yeah really angry little asian dude just would yell at audiences for not laughing and just just like really overcompensating for something you know yeah and you don't see i mean i don't feel like you see a lot of violent asian really i mean that except maybe like in old movies and stuff yeah i don't know a lot of asians i feel like i really seem to be you know real like happy people you get the filipinos or i think they're even nicknamed

the happy people right and then you have the japanese which are kind of you know a little bit kind of electronic it seems like a lot of times like they have you know like you bust them open a bunch of gigabytes would fly out can i tell you a secret yeah i can't tell asians apart man you can't no and you're asian yeah i'm a bad asian dude is there bad asians yeah i'm one i think you know i kind of broke i kind of did everything i wasn't supposed to do like i didn't go to medical school and I didn't, I wasn't the man, you know, I didn't stay a dude. Like I didn't do anything. Oh, right. That's true because in some Asian cultures, they want the boy.

Yeah. Oh, and you're like, you're going to be like, I'll show them I am a boy. Red Rover, Red Rover. Exactly. Send a vagina right over. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So when did you get um because i mean it's

just fascinating to me and one thing that i love about you like you have this this comedy bit and we'll put it at the bottom of the video today and the audio a link where you were explaining to your mother about how you felt um and is it a woman trapped in a man's body is that how you felt or how did you kind of feel i just felt like like when I actually, like, I got off, like, Medicaid, you know, like, I was medicated for the first time in my life. For antidepressants? For bipolar? For antidepressants and, you know, for the bipolar. And I was singing, like, this song, this girly song.

And I just, like, usually I roll up the window and I do it quietly. But I'm like, no, man, I'm fucking happy. And it's when I did that for the first time in my life like dude my whole life flashed before my eyes like me as a kid wearing pink and like wanting to play with like this pink carousel set like these little horses you know like i remember i kept remembering that and like wearing jewelry and like i'd be in theater art you know drama class and they put makeup on me and i would just leave it on like for days and it's like the yeah these these memories came back and i was a lot of clues kind of like clues yeah and then i

was like man you know if i was a woman my whole life would make sense like it wouldn't be a good life right it would be a life and you know life is like life right but and then it made sense and i just it was like a religious experience dude like i don't know how religious people feel, but it must be kind of like that. My whole body shivered. And I started crying. Dude, I cried for like half an hour, man. And like in my car. And then I had to go clock back into work.

Oh, man. I was like. Yeah, a lot of chicks have done that, dude. Yeah. You know, that's right. I mean, I think at that point, you definitely qualify. Yeah. No, that's fascinating to have like a moment where you're like this.

Did you almost feel like you like who you really were like erupted out of you or something? Yeah, I think that's exactly true. And, you know, I just remembered this. I never looked at people in the eyes until I came out. I avoided eye contact with everyone except for my girlfriend. Like I would just look down and I never knew why. I was like, I think subconsciously it was like, if they see me, they might know it about me,

but I didn't know what it was, you know what I mean? That's fascinating. So you were afraid if you were looking at somebody, if they saw that they might see the truth in you that you didn't even know, maybe? Yeah, that's exactly right. Dang. Yeah. That's so bizarre. I mean, it's not bizarre that's not the word no it's no it is i think it's so uh but i think that's so

real i think because that's a reason why a lot of times we don't look people in the eyes because we're afraid that they're going to see our truth you know they're afraid that we're going to see that you know that we're hurting or that we are confused or uncertain or sad. Yeah. You know, that's just so, what was the song? Oh, it was like an indie pop song. Probably people don't know it. It was a Rilo Kylie song.

I don't know if you know who that is. Yeah, it's very girly. It's gay. It is? Yeah, it's very girly. It's like that It's Rainin' Men song? No, it's kind of, it's a different kind of gay. It's like celebrating It is? Yeah. It's like that It's Raining Men song? No, it's a different kind of gay. It's like celebrating this different femininity.

You ever hear Patrice O'Neill talk about It's Raining Men? Uh-uh. He says that when you're a guy and you're singing karaoke, you got to change the lyrics. And you're like, it's raining stuff. It's raining things. One of my favorite bits. It's raining things. One of my favorite bits. It's raining stuff. So it's kind of interesting.

Like I was noticing some stuff. And so Robin and I were working and you were Robert and now you're Robin. Yeah. Yeah. And one thing that's so neat and I appreciate this is like you don't make me feel like I can't talk to you about these things. You know, like you don't make me feel like i can't talk to you about these things you know like you don't make me because sometimes i get this vibe and this is just me being honest and this isn't trying to me be like i know anything but i get a vibe sometimes by some people that are you know are out of what would some people would perceive as the norm right sometimes

when you try to engage with them about a conversation they take that as being judgmental even like asking questions and stuff or being curious and i think it makes some people who are curious about stuff afraid to ask you know yeah i know those people i mean i actually i deal with that too i think there's like infighting within the community about how to talk to other people and stuff um i don't know man i want to say this but i don't you know no say man i say stuff on here all the time it's like a lot of the white ones really really mad like because they they didn't have the racial discrimination before so when they transition there's like this new like they're being discriminated against now oh and so like it's like a fucking they're taking it all on at the same time but for me i'm just like oh yeah discrimination i've experienced

that before i'm just adding on to it but i'm not down not downloading the entire thing you know this is a theory of mine i don't know if it's fucking true oh i think it's really fascinating because you're saying like oh well if i was black or v or Vietnamese, I've already experienced some discrimination. Yeah. So now that I'm switching genders, fuck, sure. Yeah. It's still hard, but it's like I kind of prepared myself for it, you know, just by being Vietnamese.

You're like, oh, I already, you're like, I beat Vietnamese. Now I'll take on the world. I love that. Exactly. That was the plan all along. But for a white person, they're just like, fuck dude everything was great yeah man it's just a theory everybody i do not know no it's interesting that's a that's a really interesting theory man it's so funny when you

when you were talking about um you know looking people in the eyes and them seeing did you know that what you were afraid that they might see in you was like, like your sexuality or did you have any clue? Yeah, I had a feeling it was like, because like, you know what? I do this with my hands when I'm in private, you know, that's it, man. Fuck, did I do that sometimes? I fucking love doing this man it's like my favorite thing and i think i was like you can't hear on the radio she's showing like a kind of a

like a hanging wrist so yeah yeah you know like a yeah like a limp wrist or like a walking dead extra yeah exactly and uh and i think i was like man i'm gay am i gay but i'm not i don't like dudes you know but i'm not i was like I would always look at myself like, you're not straight, man. Like, so it makes sense that I'm a lesbian. Because like, if people say you're not a lesbian, like, and they look at me, I'm like, well, do you think I'm straight then? Because I don't like dudes, you know? Like, would you look at me and say, that's a straight person?

You know what I mean? Like, did you have to chart it out? Because it sounds like, you know, for somebody that's not a good math person it's you're adding in some different elements yeah it no when i when i came out i was like this is gonna be fucking complicated for people because you came out and you said i said i'm a woman but i didn't say i'm a lesbian because i felt weird saying it at first you know because of my voice you know like i'm glad there's a video on this podcast because like being transgender is not really great for audio podcasts you know people are like what the fuck i don't i'm confused you know and i remember

this little girl once saw me at an open mic and she goes uh hey that girl sounds like a boy and i was like oh that's great you got completely right. The little girl got it right. So we get back on it. What was the bit you have about when you explain your. Coming out to my mom. Coming out to your mom, yeah. Just like that she doesn't speak Vietnamese and I don't speak English. So I had to be like, mom in Vietnam.

She doesn't speak English. Yeah. Do they have born boy brain girl? And she's like, what? yeah do they have boy born boy brain girl and she's like what and i'm like born boy brain girl she was okay i don't know sometime you know and then i'm like okay me that i don't want to do that do you want me to do the whole no it's good we'll post it below it's just a great story yeah it's it's just so interesting for you it's like born boy brain girl it's like such it's like the simplest yeah you know It's like born boy, brain girl. It's like the simplest. Yeah.

You know, it's a simple way to put it for somebody. Yeah. You have to make it simple because if you don't speak the same language, it has to be like the most simple words. And also, I don't know the complicated way to explain it. Yeah. So I just like would just yell it for an hour until she got it. Which is also a very popular vietnamese form of communication exactly yeah they're very quiet like amongst strangers but to each other it's like man why

are you guys yelling at each other you guys having fun or are you guys mad at each other sounds like the same thing yeah they're very game of thrones i guess i'm like who's a lannister in this motherfucker i thought it was nap time right yeah um that's so wild do you feel because i'm trying to think so we went down to louisiana together right and i'm trying to think of how i think and feel about like like how if i if if there are certain things that i think of you as a certain gender or you know like if without even choosing to yeah you know not if not a judgment but just like because i think of you as a young lady yeah you know um but i guess sometimes i would treat you like a man right is that kind of a common like do you notice

any things not in the even just in the way i behave towards you but i think um i notice it more with like you didn't know me before my transition right so like people that know me after yeah they treat me with like a little more of this respect because i think i think it's the voice i really do i think like i i present pretty feminine i still not completely but it's easier for people right but what i notice is that from people before my transition you know like um at open mics the comedians like hang around in a circle and they talk shit on each other they don't do that with me anymore because they're too scared ah and i think it's like a loss you know like oh man i

love talking shit yeah but they're afraid of like stepping on eggshells and saying the wrong thing and misgendering me and stuff because they knew me as Robert. Right. So it's harder for them, I think. When you dream at night, do you dream, like, as, do you notice if you dream, like, in a male or female perspective or if that's changed? I don't dream as myself usually. So, yeah, I don't know. Sometimes I think I am Robert. But, you know, I don't dream as myself usually. So, yeah, I don't know. Sometimes I think I am Robert. But, you know, I don't know.

Do you remember, like, a first night that you went to sleep and felt like you were a woman? Because, I mean, I think, yeah, just saying, do you? I don't know. I probably slept with a smile for the first time. Yeah. Oh, I can't imagine how, like, freeing it would be. Yeah. You know, because there were times in my life or there have been times in my life where you know i was having such a tough time like

relating getting into a relationship and being like comfortable in a relationship that i thought i might be gay you know and i'm like well there's something you know i mean after like there was nine years where i wasn't in any sort of a relationship with a woman i was dating yeah you know i was jerking off on, mutually jerking off after people had agreed everybody was okay with me jerking off in the room. Great, yeah. With women and stuff like that and doing some sex.

But I wasn't able to love and lock down anything there. And so I was like, man, well, maybe I, could I be gay and I just don't know it like i'm such a bad judge of character yeah that i don't even know if i'm gay yeah um but then i realized over time that for me i do desire a strong connection a male connection but what i want is like a brotherly connection yeah and that's something i've always really you know missed and a fatherly connection so i really gravitate towards some moments like that with other males to have some camaraderie yeah um but that you know i was just i was just lacking a connection with my own mother and so that's you know hampered the ability to

connect with women beyond anything sexual you know right yeah you know that's you know hampered the ability to connect with women beyond anything sexually you know right yeah you know that's really i feel kind of bad for guys that you know you can't have that camaraderie because it's like it's kind of like oh are we gay you know like you can't just i still have some male qualities just out of habit and there was a guy that um they used to go to this wellness center you know for like to get better. And there was this guy that helped me every day. We talked every day about comedy and stuff. We became like best friends. But I never hugged him because it was like in my head.

I'm like, is that gay to hug him? Even though I'm not like I'm like a woman in my head, but still feels like the old guy is still there. Like we just can't be friends. You know what I mean? Like it's we're too close and we're not, like, are we supposed to date now? You know, like, it's that feeling. Yeah. And guys don't, guys aren't, like, allowed to get close with each other like that.

Yeah, yeah, there is. There's, like, a weird thing sometimes, you know? Yeah. Like, if I pat my buddies on the back, I'll do it, be like, oh, I can't pat him again today. Right. Yeah, you used it up for the day. Yeah, I used my pat up today because, you know, that's the pad rule. You know what I'm saying?

The pad rule. I can thumbs up them from real close. I can do point blank range thumbs up all day, but I can't do an extra pad. Yeah. Was there some strange moments? Like, I mean, this is just, do you ever feel like in the future we will all be, that things will be more fluid and that you are like a pioneer on this sort of horizon of gendership, if that makes any sense? You know, I was thinking about that and it's either going to be like everyone is kind of a fluid fluid or that it's going to be so many that you can pick from or something but as for the pioneer thing i actually just like my my dream is for it to be boring you know to not be like like you're brave or to be like you're you're the worst thing like the youtube comments were

probably for this video i'm gonna be like i'm not gonna read them you know and uh like you can't have you can't be a woman if you got a dick like comment number one thumbs up a lot of thumbs up for it you know i already know they didn't even watch the video you know um yeah they didn't even watch the video but i also have the other one like where it's like you're so you're so brave and it's like man, don't call me brave, man. Like I'd rather just live my life. Like I told you, I forget I'm transgender sometimes. Like I'm just like out and oh, why is people, why are people looking at me? Oh fuck, I'm wearing a dress. Oh my God.

I fucking forgot, man. Like I'm already depressed about something else. And now I got to think about this shit, you know? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you really, like for a comedian already to be afflicted with whatever it is that makes us want to be comedians yeah you know whatever like toil or like broken like piping or whatever inside of us that you know makes us covet that constant attention yeah and

then to be like oh well yeah i know what i I know what I'm going to add on to this. I had to throw away all my old material. Did you? Yeah. I was up on stage, and I just said it on stage one night. I was like, hey, I'm not joking, guys, but I feel like a woman, and I don't know if I'm going to start wearing skirts

because I'm lazy, and I don't know what I'm going to say tonight, so have a good night, everyone. And that was it. I put the mic back in the to say tonight. So have a good night, everyone. And that was it. I put the mic back in the mic stand and left. Like people were like, holy shit. Like, is Robert kidding? And I'm like, no, I'm not Andy Kaufman, dude.

I don't do that. I'm kidding shit, you know? And that was how I came out to my comedian friends. They just did it on stage. Did you ever, has anybody ever accused of it being like a thing? Oh yeah, sure. Like, I think someone was making fun of me. did have you ever has anybody ever accused of it being like a thing oh yeah sure like um i think someone was making fun of me i forgot who it was whereas like robin's gonna just start adding afflictions like uh just to you know get more people to go get behind her like right take

off a leg yeah next week she can't walk you know like she's blind now like just adding on more she's a service animal you're like really the fuck all right robin you're taking it too far yeah of course um do you was it were you attracted to women at a certain point in your life yeah i feel like you were yeah i was always attracted to women and i always felt like one i remember thinking when i was a kid like man i wish i could be a lesbian dude like out of everything else like i just loved like i saw like uh ellen degenerate kiss some woman on tv and dude that was like like i i got so horny when i saw that it was like you know like when you remember like the first thing you saw where i'm like i don't know what jacking off is yet but if i I can jack off, it's going to be to that kind of shit. So even to this day, just women making out, I'm just like, fuck, man, I got to jack off.

Like, so like, that's my favorite thing. You know, I don't think that was what you were asking me, but. No, I think it's, well, it's like, I mean, I guess I just wanted to know kind of, yeah, where your attraction was, you know, because. I just wanted to know kind of, yeah, where your attraction was, you know, because, I mean, because then you have to kind of, I'm sure, like, as you're trying to figure out what your place is or what your escape from whatever, you know, did you feel trapped? I always felt trapped, yeah. Yeah, I think you're right, yeah. I don't know how else to put it, but it's just like, I just felt like. Like an escape room? You ever been to an escape room? No,'t been to one but you know what it is yeah it's like where there's

clues and then suddenly you get out but then it's just you and your friends back in the lobby of a hilton or something yeah i kind of feel like i just wanted to scream and i didn't know why i would say that's how it felt wow. And do you still feel some of that? No. No, I know who I am now. Sometimes I get like the identity crisis of just like, who am I like as a person who's not as depressed anymore? Because I'm kind of getting over that too. So you notice that this has helped you through depression?

Yeah. No, no, no. That's separate. The two things are separate. Oh, they are? no. That's separate. The two things are separate. Oh, they are? Yeah. That's what's so fucked up about it. I'm not as blown away by the gender thing anymore.

It's been three years. It gets kind of boring for me personally. And then I'm like, okay, now I'm a depressed transgender person or whatever. And then the depression has lifted a little bit or a lot. So now I'm like, well, who am I if I'm'm not depressed i guess i just have to figure it out day by day just do things you know and be active like i can't believe that i we did the thing in louisiana yeah i can't believe i did i went from doing nothing to the most fun three days of my life yeah it was really the most fun three days of my whole life yeah that's cool yeah i wish i you know

i uh yeah i mean there was a wish i you know i uh yeah i mean there was a moment where you and i were driving like that grand marquee down on that highway i mean because we went back to covington to my hometown i talked about this on a regular podcast a little bit last week but i didn't tell them that you know i said i was here with another comedian robin tran um but i didn't tell him that you know you had a sexual transition or you know get in any of that um but i told him that i was back there and you know it was pretty wild and that one dude was like remember him yeah it was fucking hilarious he was like like how slow can you say that get the fuck out of here get the fuck and i was like we were down there and it was yeah we were just

cruising all around like sculliam older just like you know a recovering rural yeah guy and uh and a new transgender comedian you're probably the first the craziest thing i've seen in that town yeah actually had a three-legged pony growing up yeah okay maybe it was that she was a real beaut no you know i actually almost blew the whole thing the first day i almost fucked it yeah you know my eyes a little red right now there's a reason for that like half an hour before they were gonna pick me up i took what i think is my bladder medication because i gotta pee a lot and i look at the pill dude it i took my fucking sleeping pill no like and it's like it knocks you out after an hour and i just look at kate like i took a fucking lunesta and she's like you gotta throw it up you gotta throw it up right and she's like a

coach for like the worst sport ever you know you gotta fucking throw it up so she's on the all bulimia team yeah like i'm over the toilet dude i'm fucking crying i'm like i blew it man i can't she's like this right before they come to pick you up for the first day of shooting yeah she's like she's like put your fucking finger down your throat i'm like gus fring from breaking bad like putting my finger down my throat it's not nothing's working and she goes think of disgusting things think of fucking disgusting things and that's not working she goes think of the most disgusting thing you can think of and then i thought about eating my mom's pussy then then it all came out i'm fucking crying because i'm thinking about it and then like 10 minutes later everyone picked me

up i'm like hey everyone like but in my head i'm like that was the most fucked up thing that ever happened to me like i'm traumatized by it you know i'm it was the most traumatizing moment of my life and then the most fun three days of my life here we go back to back yeah damn i never know anybody just get all hopped up on loon nest yeah hit the town and then that's why i popped a blood vessel by throwing up oh really yeah then i thought i was gonna die one time in chicago i if i eat tuna fish and gatorade at the same time i'll fucking my throat closes up oh my god really can't handle that much excitement you know just fucking fish oil and uh you know whatever electrolytes electrolytes yeah wow my shit'll throw up just shut down so i literally was having a i was fucking crawling through the hall of a hotel in chicago pulling on the dress of a cleaning

lady and like had my hand down my throat oh my god i think she wanted thought i wanted to do sex or some kind of sex act like this is the weirdest uh mating call i've ever seen in my life he's crawling on the floor just holding my throat open yeah it's like this is a weird yeah yeah yeah uh okay guy we'll upgrade you to a suite down um do you feel sometimes like a woman now? Sometimes I feel like, man, I feel like a woman, but I'm fucking getting lazy. I gotta put makeup on, and I gotta fucking wear dresses. I've done it for three years, so I started buying boy clothes again. Yeah.

Oh, just because a lot of women, they end up getting lazy to just buy boy stuff yeah they're like oh i'm just a sports fan and it's like like a tomboy kind of you know and uh i don't know kind of think like the initial novelty wore off and i mean novelty not like oh this whole thing is like a like a stunt or anything like that but you know uh you you just kind of get over the it's called gender euphoria and then you experience this gender euphoria and i think when it goes away you're like okay now i don't have to always wear a fucking dress can i just wear a fucking t-shirt and and jeans and like light makeup and stuff you know do you find yourself having like really like over overdressing like wearing like a bride's outfit a couple of days a week and stuff yeah i i would overdress every time i just wear dresses and fucking nice clothes and these shoes from be

as lady as possible yeah from nordstrom's you know like just expensive shoes and shit like was there guys that you like had before when you were robert that you were like oh that guy's kind of cute that you were like you know just trying to just offering to just fucking chill and shit like that or no? Oh, you mean guys that I knew before? Yeah, well, you were with lesbians. You were attracted to women. Yeah.

Well, I mean, the other side, though, like there were some guys that were like, hey, like. They want to hit it. You know, if I were attracted to you, would that make me gay? You know, hypothetically. And I'm like, it's a weird hypothetical question to, you know, Facebook message me at three in the morning you know but like i don't know man you know i guess it doesn't like if i'm a woman so it doesn't actually make you gay like i actually like had to look it up isn't that weird gosh yeah if you like if you are a guy that dates transgender women you're not gay yeah so if i dated you i wouldn't be gay yeah people would think you are though right everyone would Right. Everyone would call you gay. So it's like, you would be gay anyway. Well, you know, it's funny.

Yeah. I don't feel like, like if I feel like if here's a, here's interesting, I noticed this, if you were sitting here and you were a man, I would feel like, oh, if I dated Robert, I would be gay. Right. But if I sitting here and I'm just thinking about you oh if i dated her yeah i might be you know a real wild cat yeah you know what i'm saying i might be in the hunting rare game but i uh you know but i don't i don't have the same feeling yeah that's that's kind of interesting yeah it is yeah just because my total like you know if you put you next to a boy i'd be like oh well i would you know i think a lot of people like on like i'll read periscope comments about me and stuff and they're like yeah what the fuck is that thing you know when people

are like that mad i'm just like all right dude like i i don't think it's true when people are like they hate trans people it means they're attracted to them but the ones that get really fucking mad i'm like you kind of want to fuck a transgender woman dude like why would you get that mad you know if people just went ew yeah and i was like okay you just don't like the way i look yeah but just the fuck that what the fuck is that thing oh my god like you know like they're like their brains are gonna explode you know like oh okay do you want to fuck nwo fans yeah like new world order fans you press that and turn it back on uh new world order fans maybe i'm a huge wrestling fan are you oh yeah dude i know more about wrestling than i do about anything else in my life combined oh wow i've been watching

wrestling since i was four years old um and how old are you now i'm 31 dude i was a huge and this is a little bit for you but i was a huge the von erics were like a big family i know i know history yeah the pride of eric there was the texas tornado yeah wwf he like transferred over yeah like the the like he would spin around and do a clothesline right or a punch carrie von eric i think that was eric and he was the handsomest one outside of that he got a little kind of animally looking yeah yeah one of the brothers look like a damn sheep i thought like a tall sheep uh who was one of your favorite wrestlers growing up it was always sean michaels man oh yeah hbk i think is the greatest wrestler like that ever lived and marty genetti no it's so sad

marty genetti is always like referenced even nowadays as like if there's a tag team and one of them explodes and one of them doesn't they call him the marty genetti of the oh isn't that yeah isn't that heartbreaking yeah both of them had nice hair do you think it was something about wrestling that kind of had that that has that sort of trans appeal to it in a weird way? No, I think, you know what? I think it's completely separate from gender. I love, I love combat. I don't know why.

You know, I love roast battles and I love wrestling. And there's a movie called Changing Lanes with Sam Jackson and Ben Affleck. And they're just like trying to one up each other with like trying to fuck each other's lives up and i don't know why i just love that like being boastful like i can fuck you up and i can back it up and the other guys like no i can fuck you up and just watching them try to fuck each other up yeah i love it it's my favorite thing in the world but i don't like people actually getting hurt so yeah that's why i like that it's like staged that's why i can't watch like ufc like oh that guy's legs really broken man like the fun's over man oh man you kind of fuck that

guy's wife and you pretend to hit each other oh that's what's fucking awesome but like oh man that guy's legs became like rubber i'm like oh jesus man this is fucking real can't deal with that do you were there things that you like more now after um your transition that you didn't like before like do you notice no no i like pretty much all the same things and uh i don't know like i still like wrestling as much as i ever did i was afraid i would stop liking wrestling oh you know and then like what would i do it's so scary like yeah were there things you were afraid like of losing you know you're afraid you're afraid you're going to lose this or lose that. If you go into this,

dude, if I lost wrestling, I don't know what I would do with my time. I spent, I spend, you know, WWE network. I spent hours just watching that every day.

And I, you know, WrestleMania was just like last week in Louisiana. You know, I just, I love it. I love it more than it's like number four on my list of things I love in my life.

Like, you know, family, my girlfriend, me, and like wrestling. Yeah. You just fucking love it. That's it's like number four on my list of things I love in my life. Like, you know, family, my girlfriend, me, and wrestling. Yeah, I just fucking love it. That's most of America, I think. I think you just described.

Yeah. Did you experience, like, any loss of, like, friends or any connections that really changed or evolved for the better in your life yeah i lost a lot of friends and uh i don't know some of it wasn't because of the transgender thing but some of it was like when i came out like all of a sudden 10 people unfriended me right away and then like i posted a picture of me in a dress and some guy went like some guy i knew in high school we knew each other for years and he and he went is this for work or something and i went no man i'm a woman and fucking and he fucking unfriended me and i was like fucking heartbroken well maybe his wife doesn't want to be all friends but another guy actually looked at one of the pictures and he liked he liked like nine in a row you know when someone like likes like a bunch of your pictures in a row and then one of them i was like really

made up with these big boots. And he just went, fuck you for this one, Robert. And then unfriended me. So I think he jerked off and felt bad. You know what I mean? Why would he like a bunch of pictures and say, fuck you for this one, and then unfriend me, right? Oh, the boots, dude. A lot of people have

foot fetish, you know? Oh, yeah. Oh, there's a guy around me growing up and he couldn't even come unless a pair of Justins were in the room. I think I'm a lot of like regretful coming sessions. I think people have jerked off to me and then felt really embarrassed afterwards. I think that's what I am for people. Have you always jerked off to the same stuff? Oh, no.

I jerk off to like weirder shit now. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. So you find that has that evolved or devolved? No, man. I've jerked off to like my own pictures. Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. So you find that has that evolved or devolved? No, man. I've jerked off to like my own pictures. Really? Yeah.

I'm like, oh, man, if I had a clone. Totally fucking. Have you? Yeah. It's cool. I mean, I think it's unique. I've never done it. Yeah.

When I was growing up, they had a dude. If we didn't even have pornography when I was young, you know, we couldn't get any mags. Yeah. But they had this dude named Nick, and he would draw you a little picture of some cooter for the weekend, you know? So for $4, you'd hit this dude Nick up on Friday, you know, or Thursday night, if you wanted a good sketch, you know, cause if he had that extra time to work on it, man, and then Friday you get that hitter, you know, and you jerk off all weekend. I still think it's not as weird as jerking off to a selfie, but yeah whatever oh

yours is definitely weirder i was just trying to make you feel a little less uncomfortable no what is it about a selfie that can make you calm you think i was like man i never looked like that before you know and then i'm really happy with how i look oh so you'll take a really nice picture yeah and then jerk off to that i don't i haven't done it for a while, so maybe my self-esteem is lower. Do you feel like one of my buddies used to get a cake and put like, you're a good guy, Matt, on it. He'd get that written on it and then eat it at home by himself.

Yeah, it's kind of like that. Yeah, it's kind of like that, but with your dick. Yeah, yeah, self-love. So do you still have a penis? Yeah. And do you take drugs? What is that whole kind of thing like? Or is it that that's not even part of it? And this is just good information for people because there's a lot of people that don't know.

Yeah. I am actually afraid to take any extra medication to like hormones and stuff because I take a lot of medication for the bipolar. Okay. So I don't take any medication and I haven't gotten any surgery. Okay. It's just more I just dress up and I just like try to, you know, make my hair look as feminine as possible. Okay. So I don't take any medication and I haven't gotten any surgery. Okay. It's just more I just dress up and I just like try to, you know, make my hair look as feminine as possible. Okay. Yeah.

Do you feel like it could have just been, and I don't mean this in a bad way, but I just mean this in like in a curious way, that it could have, this could be like some part of the bipolar thing? No, no. Do you ever have to think about that though do you question that ever or is it not even the same no i think what i think it actually kind of bothers me that i think that's the misconception because um like uh i think like it's in america it's hard to look at people like with multiple oppressions you know it's always like well that guy's oppressed because he's you know black but maybe he's also bipolar you know but people only can see black you know or like you know like when you look at mental health issues like on tv it's mostly white people

because that's like they can only look at one at a time like if you have vietnamese and bipolar it's like too much like they can't look at and transgender whoa like pick one because we can only focus on one on tv so like mine are all separate like i don't i don't think it's like related at all you know what i mean right so you don't know but you don't feel like inside of you like and i don't know what it feels like to be bipolar you know i've seen some friends that have come down and been afflicted with it as they got a little bit older at a high school. But you didn't think like, oh, maybe I'm just bipolar at first or something. There wasn't any of that. No, I thought like maybe this will help. And it helped my depression for a while.

Like I got out of it for a while and then, you know, came back because, you know, I wasn't taking the right medication. But just coming out helped me. Like for three months, I didn't need anything. I was just like really happy. Can you, do you feel like you can see when other people might have the same thing going on? Yeah, I do. Wow. I was like, yeah, I think that, well, I see it with.

Like you're like the hormone whisperer? Yeah, I see it. Like there's a woman friend I have that I'm like, I'm like, she's a dude. Like the way she acts hormone whisperer? Yeah. I see it like there's a woman friend I have. I'm like, she's a dude. Like the way she acts, the way she talks. Like she's not a tomboy, man. She's a fucking dude. Does her name start with a G or not?

No. Okay. I can't say it. Yeah, we won't out her, but I just thought it might be the same person. We're just going to stop there at that first letter. Yeah. Yeah. Do you, do you, I'm just trying trying to get i guess get to do you feel like

like did you feel like when we're in louisiana that people thought differently than anywhere else or do you feel like when you went there that you might be looking for that yeah you know i was surprised by how how little people seemed to give a shit about the transgender thing. You're better than it. You're definitely better looking than half the women there, too. Did I tell you that I think they were thrown off by my ethnicity more because several people, like, fucking bowed to me? That's awesome. Like, I think the mayor bowed to me.

That's what someone told me. Hey, did you check out the mayor bowing to you? So the joke that I've kind of come up with is I think they were thrown off that I was Vietnamese. And now they just have a weird stereotype about Vietnamese where they're like, oh, hell, I didn't know that Vietnamese do dress up like chicks. Hell, I ain't judging you. I think that that's what they were thinking. I don't think they knew that I was a transgender woman. But yeah, I guess Vietnamese was way more on the list.

And I thought they were going to give me dirty looks, but no one did. Oh, wow. Yeah, I mean, I worried about it some too, you know, that people would. I mean, I didn't think so, but you just don't know. And places are getting so diverse. A lot of places are getting more diverse nowadays,

you know, or at least more multicultural. Right. Like I think the gender stuff is still probably kind of rare yeah you know probably people are afraid to talk about it yeah it's really new i think well and it's not new because it's been going on for actually thousands of years like native americans used to have a third gender oh yeah like two-spirit you know for i think that was the transgender back in the day that double up yeah that's what they call it the double up that's sexy and uh but um but now you know it's

new like now like we're finally talking about it it's new in that sense do you ever worry that you will wake up one day and feel differently yeah Yeah. Because then I'll have to transition back. And I think I'm, I'm so, this is how arrogant I am. I think I'm so good. I'd be able to pull it off, you know,

but I'm not a dude, you know, like you're the David Copperfield. Yeah. Um, there are moments when I'm like, I wish I was a guy. It would be a lot easier,

you know? So that's how, that's how I kind of know I'm a woman. Cause it would be so much easier to switch back. My It would be a lot easier. That's how I kind of know I'm a woman because it would be so much easier to switch back. My life would be a lot easier. It would. Yeah, I don't have to put makeup on every day. I don't have to worry about people looking at me

or sending me weird messages on Facebook or anything. Just walk around kind of like I'm invisible. Did you feel more invisible before? Oh, absolutely. Yeah, no one looked at me. Being transgender... And how did you feel more invisible before oh absolutely yeah no one looked at me like being transgender and how did that did that feel certain did that kind of like hurt your feelings some no it's like you don't know that you feel invisible because you are you this is like your reality all the time it's like you know a fish in water doesn't know it's in the water

right yeah like a goldfish in a bowl they don't know they're in there yeah their world yeah so i think like now i i miss it a little bit because now when I walk into the store, people look at me and stuff. It's like you're like a celebrity, but people don't know who you are. You know what I mean? It's almost like the Wizard of Oz. Yeah. Right. Like you heard he's back there in the beginning of the movie, but then they get there and he's kind of not even around.

Yeah. Yeah. That's who I am. Yeah. getting of the movie but then they get there and he's kind of not even around yeah yeah that's who i am yeah um do you like have any thoughts like when it comes to like families and stuff like that like having a family did you have any thoughts that changed i'm just trying to think i'm just trying to really i guess get into what that's like a little bit like you know if your thoughts kind of are you just the same person but you're but you look like a woman now? I think that's more like that.

It's more like I'm the same person, except I just kind of embrace my feminine qualities. I do the limp wrist thing, and I don't care that my voice sometimes sounds girly or whatever. I don't care. I'm not trying to be macho anymore. Yeah, my friend told me to get a girlfriend, he goes, like, you're too flowy, you know, to get a girlfriend. You got to, like, walk like this. And I'm, like, putting up my shoulders right now. Like a peacock.

You'll get fucked if you do this all the time. I was like, oh, man, it's really stiff, man. Like, I can't do that all the time. So that's the main difference, I think. Was there a girl or something you had apologized to that you hooked up with before no no there have been girls i've had to apologize for other reasons yeah yeah but it has nothing to do with the gender thing did you feel like immediately you could get in some legit fights with bitches before that you couldn't get into i didn't think about the fighting aspect of it like Like if you hit a girl now, are you off the hook or you're still, oh, Robert hit that bitch?

I don't know. I just wouldn't feel right to hit a woman. Would you have felt, I mean, yeah, look, I agree. Yeah. You know, I'm not out here, you know, I'm not, you know, supporting that. But did you feel any differently before? That's a really interesting question. No, I feel, I actually feel exactly the same way as I did before.

Like, it would be as wrong. What did your father think about it? Oh, my dad? What do you, transgender, what do you mean? This is my son, where's that for comedy? Oh, he still thinks that? Yeah, after three years, even though he sees me like this sometimes, like he's walking around. It's like he sees like a fucking censored person or something he doesn't even acknowledge it god that must be crazy and fun to be in that brain just how everything's

just kind of whatever yeah he doesn't know he raised two lesbians you know oh shit i shouldn't have said that on the air that's okay we'll pretend that your sister isn't a lesbian yeah look all everybody's pretty much do you feel like we're all going to be lesbians soon air that's okay we'll pretend that your sister isn't a lesbian yeah look all everybody's pretty much do you feel like we're all going to be lesbians soon yeah that's exactly right i mean i think everyone should be yeah yeah it just makes sense i don't know i just think women are beautiful and i love women so much you know like to look like this and sound like this and to say that i love women what sucks is that you know it's been portrayed as if you're a guy and you're straight on tv and you're like oh i love women and it's like oh that's a gay dude and he's suppressing it but

like i actually sound and talk like that and i like women but i don't like dudes and it's hard to prove that when you sound and talk like this you know what i mean yeah do you have to prove to did you have to prove like you have a girlfriend now right do you have to prove that you had a penis at first were you like look i promise i got a dick in here somewhere or do you you know like like did she no she she no she stuck with me through the transition oh your girlfriend was with you before yeah she was with me as as robert and then she stuck with me through the transition yeah we have a show about it we we do the unconventional lesbians show we talk about our whole relationship and how i where can i watch that at we perform like oh you go it's a

stage show it's a stage show yeah yeah yeah we have one coming up in june i think okay yeah yeah we'll put the link into that yeah if you if i were like what kind of person out there would maybe have the same thing that you have? Like what clues would they have if they had this, you know, if they had this kind of wild condition, I think, um,

is it as a wild condition? Is that a, no, I don't think that's the correct way to put it, but I, I would say that the most important thing for me is that everyone's journey is kind of different. You know,

like some people who have not had the experience i had where like i always knew and then i didn't know some people just kind of figured it out one day and i i kind of don't ask people how they figured it out i guess it doesn't matter yeah i guess it doesn't matter to me is there still something that like did you get like did the gay lesbian community kind of latch like was, do you feel like there's a whole connection there? Do you feel, like, not connected to that world? Do you just feel like you're on your own path? No, I was surprised by how open they were to me.

They, like, welcomed me with open arms, you know. I'll never forget that they did that for me. I needed, like, a new family afterwards basically and they were my family for a while but i don't know i not as much anymore i think i think i'm figuring out who i am and i'm just kind of i don't like to be put in a box you know like i'm kind of like someone that likes to say something for the first time uh yeah yeah and that's like it has nothing to do with gender this is my arrogance you know so like got put in a box by society i'm transgender and then the transgender people were like oh this is

how you do it i'm like no fuck you i'm not gonna i'm gonna be like so i'm the buzz aldrin yeah man no i'm not even yeah i'm different than all you transgender people huh yeah what's even more different yeah we'll even more different than you so that's where i am right now do you do you ever worry or not even worry but do you ever think fuck you know like maybe that's a part of what even led me into this was just an ego to really be unique no no absolutely not i i know it's real because like dude you know how like uh people who were like hate gay people like end up being gay i was like dude i hated trans people like i fucking hated them. I'd watch, my girlfriend tried to get me to watch Transparent on Amazon, and I was just watching it, and I was screaming at the TV like, what, what, fucking I have to call this

dude she? What kind of fucking world is this? And I would just yell at the TV. And then as I'm yelling, I don't remember I said this, and I'm like, you know, in some kind of life, I would have asked people to call me she. That would be fucking awesome, but you don't see me said this and i'm like you know in some kind of life i would have been called i would have asked people to call me she that'd be fucking awesome but you don't see me fucking whining about it and she's like she's like are you transgender and i was like i don't fucking want to talk about i slammed the door i don't remember i said that so it was almost like this alternate you said it yeah yeah did you ever feel like a little woman inside of you like crying

out for help or crying out to be noticed or any of those things i didn't feel like any of that stuff yeah i don't know what that would feel like did you ever um see a movie and be like oh yeah i want to fuck that cartoon or something like brave no you think brave's hot or not who's brave brave is like this gen she's like an irish archer and she was a like a child star on disney or something like a but it's a cartoon it's a drawing it's not a real child sounds like you think that she's hot is it okay to say i'll fuck a cartoon but not knowing what age it is i don't know i guess we'll figure out a little bit worried about that all of a sudden i remember i watched this movie called the joy luck club and it was like all asian women and dude that made me that movie

made me cry like nine times man i was i just watch it and i would relate to all asian women and dude that made me that movie made me cry like nine times man i was i just watch it and i would relate to these asian women but i'm like that's weird i'm not an asian woman but that's like the movie that i watch that i'll think about all the time yeah why because something there's a feeling in there then that you must really relate to yeah like the um not being listened to and by and, you know, the things that Asian women have to go through. And, yeah, it's just, like, weird. Like, I don't remember the specifics, but I remember, like, I can put myself in their shoes. And, like, that's how I would feel.

And then it feels tragic, you know. Like, did you feel like you used to hurt a lot more and now you don't? Yeah, actually, yeah. a lot of my women friends weren't really surprised when i came out they were like oh my god that makes so much sense because like they would always tell me it's like you think like a woman because we would talk about life and stuff and then they would talk about boys and i would talk about girls and the way i talked about girls was like different than any guy they knew because I wouldn't I wouldn't you know be like oh yeah I like her or whatever I'd be like man the way that she oh my god oh my god oh my god like look at look at what she look at what she I am to me look at what she I am to me

what do you get what do you think I think this means like that's how I would do that and then you're like you're a fucking girl and I'm like no fuck you I just I like her a lot I like her a lot dude so you were low all this time you thought you had a lot of friends were girls you were low-key trying to fuck them all but as a woman yeah no no no no wait you know what's funny is damn do you like the benedict arnold a pussy dude no i wasn't trying to fuck them all and that's kind of what a different like my guy friends wouldn't understand i had a lot of female friends and i was attracted to all of them but they would always be like you want to fuck all your female friends and i'm like no actually i don't like i like their

company they'd be like oh so if you're saying right now if so and so was like i want to fuck you you'd say no and i'm like i didn't say i would say no i'm saying that i don't doesn't think it's like no if you wouldn't say no. Like, I think guys look at it like more black and white. Yeah. And women look at it more gray. Yeah. I'm like, I can be attracted to someone and then not want to fuck them.

Yeah. And then, like, if they wanted to fuck me, I might have a weak moment or whatever. I think that's more. That's more female. That's more female. Yeah. And that's how I still look at it. I was at this party one time and this dude wanted to hook up with this chick really bad and everybody's drunk and she's like if you let my friend who

is homosexual blow you then i'll fucking hook up with you right yeah he's like all right you know so this dude blew him and then she didn't let the fucking dude hook up with her oh that's awful yeah this dude just got blown did Did he have a good time? Huh? Did he enjoy himself? I mean, you know, it was, I think, 4th of July. That's pretty fucked up. But the thing is that I remember there was this one game this fraternity played I went up to,

and it was in Ithaca, New York. They had a school up there called Cornell or Cornelius? I don't know. Cornelius, maybe? Cornelius Academy. Cornell. Cornell. Which one sounds right?

Cornell. Cornell. Okay. Big Red or something was their fucking team name, right? Yeah. Stupid. But they had this game called Don't Wake the Bunny. And they would take marbles, put them in a dude's ass that was passed out.

Oh, God. And whoever woke him up had to drink or whatever. And I'm like, I don't think that's, you know, this guy wakes up and has nine steelies in his ass, you know. Why isn't that considered gay? That's a very gay thing to do. Drawing dicks on your friend's faces and shit, you know. They're calling me gay.

That's party, dude. That's Native American culture, I think. That's Native American culture. Yeah. Chris had a question, too, that we were talking about when i was driving in chris what was that question you wanted to ask i was wondering if you felt like more respected inside of the comedy community or like just in the regular community since you've come out oh yeah if i'm as respected okay so um i feel like uh people who don't who don't see me perform respect me a lot less like they haven't seen me do comedy yet i'm like a caricature of a person but

when they see me perform they do this switch and and they'll make sure they'll say this like it's it's funny every single person says it like wow you're really funny you know what trans has nothing to do with it you're just funny you know fuck trans and fuck you you're just a funny person i almost said that yeah like it doesn't even matter and i'm like i didn't say it mattered you know you're the one bringing it up so it's like i'll never get a fair assessment so like um back then when i went on stage right just a little asian dude um little robert yeah little robert would go on stage and people would be people would start laughing already because it's like asian people aren't funny so the bar so the so the bar would be really low but dude you

have this crazy also self-hatred for asian people like if i see asian people i usually think they're pretty funny japanese people seem like they're asleep but also alive at the same time. But every other type of Asian to me seems really funny. I think that's a rare assessment of Asian people, though. This is how I feel. If you're Asian and you go on stage, if you can put a complete sentence together, the audience will kind of laugh. Because they're like, whoa, I didn't know an Asian could put jokes together. That's kind of laugh because they're like whoa i didn't know an asian could put jokes together you know like that's kind of the racism but like it's like you get like uh advantage due to racism and so now i get an extra advantage because i'm trans because they're like

oh my god this trans person's actually funny like it's it surprises them so at the end they're like really blown away i think black people have the opposite problem like i remember this black guy was at an open mic and the bartender was like oh i think this guy's gonna be funny yeah and i'm like are you saying that because he's black oh yeah yeah he was just like a he's like a brand new comic doing it for two weeks yeah bomb because he's fucking brand new so like people were like oh man i thought that was gonna be like the new fucking chris rock or something you know yeah there's a lot of expectations i feel like on black people yeah it's like you know it's like with basketball you know like you see a tall black guy you're like that dude definitely plays basketball or unfortunately

works at the airport yeah like that's the way it's you know there's just there's definitely some you know stereotypes that are out there i can't believe a little this little... Do you think Robert was a cool guy now that you're Robin? No. I think Robert had moments of... I think Robert tried his best, but definitely hurt a lot of people. Like how? Just said mean things when I was mad, when I would be mad at people

and not knowing people's boundaries and like you know like a girl would block you on on aim aim i don't know about that but yeah i can imagine like yeah you get blocked and then you get a new screen name and be like why did you block me like i would do shit like that man it was fucked up like robert 002 yeah but um yeah you know i'm gonna go back to the comedy thing for a second i think I got a chip on my shoulder about my stand-up because I think I'm really good. You know, like I don't think I'm great at a lot of things, but I think I'm a great comedian. And one day I wanted to just be that. I don't want to be like a great trans comedian or a great Vietnamese comedian or whatever.

I think that's the biggest chip on my shoulder I have right now. Well, I respect you for being honest about that because I think that that's hard for people to be honest about sometimes is A, to say that we're good about something without – sometimes I battle if that's my ego talking if I were to say that or if that's a low self-confidence. But to say that and hear you say that, I respect you saying that. And I agree. I saw your comedy and I didn't know what to think of you. I met you through Roast Battle. Right. In Roast Battle, for people who aren't familiar, it's where two comedians basically insult each other with jokes, and then judges get to judge.

Yeah. And was that when Jim Carrey was there? No. No, no. It was a different night. I think you were there the night I was battling Connor McSpadden. Yeah. Yeah.

Yes. Yes, I was. And I was like, what? I i just never seen anyone like you before yeah you know and then after that i went home and watched your comedy and i was like holy shit this lady this lady yeah it's like uh this bitch is kind of hardcore a little bit yeah like transgender is kind of a secondary thing but it's weird because it's this thing you see first right yeah yeah but it's not your only thing right some people and this might be a generalization i don't give a fuck if it is really but they hang their hat on oh this is my thing right you know like you'll meet gay guys and like i'm gay you know or black people and i'm just you know i'm you know

you know you know what i'm saying black power uh you know, you know what I'm saying? Black power, you know, brown power, blacks forever. We can't do it. We, all we do is do it, you know? Yeah. It's just like, oh, just hold on for a second, guy. Let me get on board here. Or you'll meet a white guy that's just like, you know, fucking white, you know, man, this shit, this, you know, we got to whiten up.

You know what I'm saying? Paint your fucking friends white, dude. Yeah. You know, dip somebody in fucking white water. Yeah. Like, what is white water yeah but i got trans jokes but they're always like they're always like i i switch to expectation of what i'm gonna say like like i'll say like um man i want to be one of those trans i want to be a

trans woman that gets start shit for no reason like just walk into a store and be like why doesn't your women's restroom have any urinals you know like i'll say shit like that where it's like that's not a that's not a cool thing to say you know like i think it is cool because you're not you're not taking the normal path of like i'll be i'll just i'll say something that's evil so that the crowd doesn't expect me to just say nice things you know i'll say a lot of evil shit i'll see i'll see if i can turn on to get them to turn on me first and then i'll do comedy to see to see how to see how good these jokes really are well see that takes me back to a little bit more of like

do you like it there's something been something inside of me i know this in my life that i wanted to make things and whether i did it consciously or not that i wanted to make things hard on myself yeah because there was something inside of me that like like, if life wasn't, like, I was so used to feeling some type of a hurt or some type of uncomfort. Right. That if I didn't keep things there somehow. Right. That I wasn't, like, I wouldn't even know what was going on. Yeah.

I know what you're saying, but I think if I stayed as Robert, that would have been the harder, harder path. This is the easier path for me. Like the outside world might be a little tougher, but I feel like I can look at people now, you know, and I'd never give that up.

So, so you know, so there's no doubt that, that, that, that's a, that this, that this is your truth.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. That's cool. Yeah. Cause some people, I think a lot of times we walk around just not knowing, and maybe sometimes for some people it's a gender thing for some people. I think it could even be like a job thing.

You're in a job and you're like, I don't, this, you know, this doesn't fit me, you know, but I walk by a paint store every day and I'm just fucking, no, but i want to be a painter you know i think but you know i'm saying i think you know people don't know where they fit no but i still have that just not with the gender thing i see like you know i i had this moment about roast battle like i'm like should i be doing this like because like am i selling out my my gender for laughs or or am i being a badass and i'm stepping in you know like i have that moment where i'm like is this cool that i'm doing this and i still like question myself all the time like did i get this opportunity because i'm whatever and it's like and if i take it am i a token but

then i think like fuck it you know your life's been tough enough just take it and then like blow them away like like make it so that you got there because of your gender or whatever. And then once you're there, it's like, wow, we should have actually just got you because you were good. You know, it's funny you say that because I think the same exact thing sometimes about, you know, like whenever I started in comedy, I worked in reality television. You know, this is a kid.

I mean, I was a kid at school. Right. And I basically won a contest, you know, and ended up on a show. And I felt like that. I didn't even know what i wanted to be or anything i didn't know that i wanted to be a comedian yet yeah and then people would judge me kind of for that or have a look in their eye or have a thing you know and it made it that's the only thing it drove me for about eight nine years yeah was that i'm gonna show these people that i'm

fucking good yeah yeah yeah i have the same drive yeah because i didn't know that i wanted to be a comedian yeah you know whatever was going on before that i was a child 19 i was teenager yeah technically yeah and you know but i'm gonna show these like it just that's what put that chip on my shoulder that's what made me that was my stand you know yeah i think it's more like we get doors open for us that wouldn't be normally open and it's like that's good but then they look at you once the door is open like all right we're just letting you in because we want to see you yeah we're going to take a peek yeah we almost we almost let you in just because we wanted to judge you yeah yeah it's how i feel a little bit and that city this city's full of that yeah it's great it's crazy how gross it is out here sometimes even though it's supposed to be so accepting do you

notice any of that oh i don't well i don't live in la but whenever i visit it feels like everyone's trying to get on tv or like everyone is acting like there's a camera already on them i went to the in and out with my girlfriend we were like looking around and we was like everyone here is dressed up like they're on camera like what the fuck this is so weird like everywhere else like people it's like one in the morning you would be dressed in your pajamas or whatever you know but that's how that's what i know it's a lot of like uh plastic people yeah yeah would you learn about love from your girlfriend from staying with you through that transition i learned that uh if someone if

anything if someone loves you enough they'll stick by you through anything that's that's like i don't know i'm kind of blown away that she stuck with me because i when i came out i was like i'm about to throw away my relationship that's what i thought because people were thinking like oh what was this like a duo thing like you know she's a feminist she does a joke about it like people think that like she made me a woman like she's like like or whatever like a frankenstein yeah yeah but it wasn't that at all um no i just learned that um i don't know it's kind of corny but like love kind of conquers all but i also learned that if you love yourself enough you will throw away everything to be who you are the fact that

i was able to like come out like and go my mom might not love me anymore my dad might not talk to me anymore and my material is going to be gone my girlfriend might leave me but like i need to do this right now for me that's that's what love is to me yeah damn that's powerful it's so hard for us to make choices sometimes that we know are the best for ourselves yeah you know that that was an easy one for me it was an easy one it wasn't it was easy as in like i know this is what i gotta do but the consequences were going to be the most difficult oh but looking at the stack and the consequences that's when it really got yeah yeah it's so hard man sometimes to be the most difficult. Oh, but looking at the stack and the consequences, that's when it really got. Yeah. Yeah, it's so hard, man, sometimes to make the decision that we know is like the truest for us.

Yeah. You know, or even the right decision, like in the face of even little things, like standing up for somebody whenever somebody else is, you know, fucking with someone and you're making fun of somebody and you're right there. Yeah. You know, or even like, you know, like when someone's like,

oh, do you remember so-and-so or do you know so-and-so? Even if you don't, just being like, you're right there yeah you know or even like you know like when someone's like oh do you remember so and so or do you know so and so even if you don't just being like you're always like yeah oh yeah i remember them i know them yeah you know it's like we just don't want to be i don't know if it's wrong we just i don't know we're not included we just we don't want anything that makes us feel left out yeah no i hear you i know what you're saying i don't know i i guess i i guess i'm kind of used to like not being part of a group like i've always been the weird one in the group every group i've ever been in maybe it's on purpose i don't know maybe i'm just pushing people away for no reason who knows right like maybe it's all subconscious um do you get any clues in any of that ever whenever i'm in a group and i get comfortable i kind of think like am i an individual anymore

like and i kind of freak out a little bit like i like hanging out with people one-on-one but in a group i get i fucking freak out dude like i don't want to be part of a group i want to be my own person and so it's very isolating well what are you scared of that the group might what no that i might be part of a group and i'm not myself anymore like you look at a group you know and you can't right you can't be like oh that person's the best or whatever right because it's a group it's a group you know I want to be like an island. Like, that's how fucking good I am. Like, I transcend all of it.

So that's kind of a mental illness, I think, is like this narcissism I have, you know, to want to be the best and to want to be the most unique and all that stuff and to be away from groups. Would you be surprised if something else, like, so now you've switched into a different gender. If, you know, you came up one day and took it to took you know found another thing in life that makes us more unique or more rare or more separate and you chose that as well would you be shocked if your

brain started to lead you there would you then think like oh maybe this is a clue that you know there's something going on that i'm not seeing i don don't know. And I'm not trying to lead you to that. I'm just, you know, just thinking about it. No, no, no, I hear what you're saying. I think that the fact that transgender is so rare is a coincidence. Like, if it was that, if my truth was that I'm gay, which is, like, kind of more common now, then I would have said that, you know?

Like, if I saw, like, there's, like, a group of people who are, like, they're going to come out, and there's even less of them, and they're even more oppressed, I wouldn't be like, maybe I can do that. I don't think that would be the case. There would be part of me that would be like, man, that would be fucking awesome, man. That could be even more unique. Of course that exists.

But it wouldn't be like I would go through with it or I would feel it or anything. I've got a couple of questions questions over town just on the way in um do you have any regrets about about what about my life about switching over to being a woman nope um do you ever get the feeling that like your body is just like a shell and that there's that your being is more does that make any sense i wish i did i hate my body yeah it's fucking gross yeah did you hate it as much before as you do now that's that hasn't changed has it i bet i hate it i hate it more than i used to really because i'm more uh i'm more critical of myself like when i came out i started noticing all these like pimples on my face like like i didn't give a shit before

as a guy and then as a girl it's like oh my god you gotta cover that up oh my god you know you gotta cover up the fat you gotta get clothes that fit well and were you more self-conscious now yeah i'm way more self-conscious now like like uh when i feel fat that's when i wish i was a guy because like feeling like a fat girl is like really fucking like awful you know because fat girls get treated so horribly oh you ever seen a fat girl eat a uh snow cone in the rain no oh beautiful do you think that because now you're saying like you feel more self-conscious as a woman do you feel like there's something inside of you that covets feeling more rare or pushes you towards separation yeah but i don't think that has to do with gender with gender yeah you think so so you're able to notice like okay this was one thing yeah that was definite

and true and sure yeah and then that these other things are just regular things or just other things about me yeah yeah i separate those things did you ever concern worry that that was one in the same i feel like that would be a huge concern. I'm like, holy shit, I just have this ego or something inside of me. No, it never feels that way. I think it's more like people perceive it that that could be it. And then I think I could see where they're coming from. And I can't explain to them how that's not the case. That's the frustration for me is I can't explain how separate they are.

I think you've done a good job here just talking because it's very it makes i believe it yeah and it's clear and that would be i wasn't a concern how whenever you came in it's just something that i thought about as we're talking okay i remember when i was young my brother and i there's a photo of us putting on my mother's dress you know because my mother raised us yeah um and we had on my mother's dresses and uh and he had on we're on her bed like just playing as kids you know and my brother was very he had like kind of tan skin he looked at people called us mexicans all the time because we had you know kind of you know a little bit of olive skin right and my brother my brother was pretty dark yeah they would call a spic and they would use racial

slurs but i mean there was nobody around yeah so i was like fuck yeah you know you're only get called that because you're basically you could have been in a fire once and people were like look at this fit yeah you know what i'm saying like uh those are third degree burns okay like sometimes it's just just difference you know when people don't have anything or they're you know there's such an education sometimes it's difference that makes people point yeah um but i remember i was putting on these dresses and my mother's and he had the the the kind of beige one or the pink one and i had the purple one yeah and i'm fucking i don't all i remember is i just remember man i bet he wishes he had this purple yeah i don't know what that means i don't know

if it means anything yeah except that i look bad i look pretty good in a purple you know i always loved pink, man. Did you? I loved it. I still do, man. Like I wore a pink top to like the first day of the taping. Oh, yeah, that's right. You did. That's the first outfit I bought, what you saw.

That's why I have a special like connection to it. Have any guys come up to you or girls come up to you and they asked you like for like advice in that world? Yeah. It's like how do you do your makeup like how how do you accessorize no advice in navigating your like you know your own genes and thoughts and you know uh no i get more asked for advice about just like cosmetic stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah it's wild i mean i feel like i'm talking with a woman yeah because you are, you know.

Yeah. I like it, dude. Yeah, we got to do some shows. One of these days you'll have to come out on the road with me somewhere. I would love to. I mean, would your crowd like me, you think? Yeah, I think. No.

Yeah. Yeah, 100%. Chris Perez is here. Man, he's Latino, dude. And he's non-practicing pretty much. I always felt like the joke I had with Theo is that I always like, man, our audiences probably hate each other. You know what I mean? Like the audience that likes me probably doesn't like you and the audience that likes you probably doesn't like me.

I mean, we both have bad hair kind of. I think my hair looks great. I mean, yeah, it looks better than mine. But when people saw the picture of us together like they were like in what fucking universe are these two hanging out so that you know i would love to man i'd love to go on the road and do comedy and stuff yeah well good all right because i'd love to take you out there sometime do you feel like other like diverse people like black people are like oh fuck this bitch trumps us you know what i'm saying do you ever get that i feel like white

guys look at me that way yeah i think it's like i don't want to say it's a hard time for white guys in comedy but i'm going to say it's not really a commodity as it used to be right like people are looking for diversity now yeah but who knows how long that'll last well it's what made me think either like we need somebody that's diverse and that's unique and i was thinking well who would look kind of unique to me who would come across as smarter than me yeah and i was like oh maybe this girl robin tran would do it yeah and i guess her real last name really tran well i couldn't remember your last name and then i'm like it's it's tran yeah uh which well that's one of my first jokes yeah yeah it's my real name you know it's not like you don't have to look far for clues no yeah i didn't just come out for the

pun you know like he's everything for a pun that's a long way for a joke yeah um well thanks for coming here and just sitting in and chatting with us and thinking about stuff of course man thanks so much for having me yeah i appreciate it let's do it uh let's do it again soon yeah sure i'd love to um cool we'll put all robin's links and everything at the bottom of the episode. Okay. And I'll see you guys this week. I'm going to be in New Jersey. I'll see you guys there. And what else? I think that's it. As always, thank our sponsor, Gray Block Pizza.

And anything else, Chris? No, that's it. Cool. Thanks, man. Yeah, we don't have Chris mic'd up, but we'll get him mic'd up next time. And thank you guys for listening to Robin. Thanks so much. Thanks so much for having me, man. Yeah, see you't have Chris mic'd up, but we'll get him mic'd up next time. And thank you guys for listening to Robin. Thanks so much. Thanks so much for having me, man. Yeah, I'll see you later.

Thank you. Thank you. I'll interview my friends. Sometimes I won't. And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head. You have three new voice messages. A lot of people are talking about Kite Club. I've been talking about Kite Club for so long. Longer than anybody else.

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