This Past Weekend - The Man Who Overcame Tourette's: Marc Elliot | This Past Weekend

Episode Date: December 27, 2018

Theo Von sits down with Marc Elliot to talk about living with Tourette’s and ultimately overcoming it. This episode brought to you by… MNML Case http://mnmlcase.com Use Code Theo for 20% off MeUndies http://meundies.com/weekend 15% off your first pair Grey Block Pizza 1811 Pico Blvd. Santa Monica, CA http://bit.ly/GreyBlock Music “Shine” - Bishop Gunn http://bit.ly/Shine_BishopGunn Gunt Squad Aaron Jones Aaron Rasche Aaron Stein Adriana Hernandez Aidan Duffy Alaskan Rock Vodka Alex Hitchins Alex Person Alex Sideris Alexander Contreras Amanda Sherman Andrea Gagliani Andrew Valish Andy Mac Angelo Raygun Angie Angeles Anna Winther Anthony Schultz Arielle Nicole Ashley Konicki Audrey Harlan Ayako Akiyama Bad Boi Benny Baltimore Ben Beau Adams Yoga Ben Deignan Ben in thar.. Ben Limes Benjamin Streit Big Easy Brian Martinez Brian Szilagyi Bryan Reinholdt Bubba Hodge cal ector California Outlaw Campbell Hile Carla Huffman Casey Roberts Casey Rudesill Cassandra Miller Chad Saltzman Charley Dunham Christian from Bakersfield christian prado Christopher Becking Christopher Stath Clint Lytle Cody Cummings Cody Kenyon Cody Marsh Cory Alvarez Dan Draper Dan Ray Dave Engelman David Christopher david r prins David Smith David Wyrick deadpieface Deanna Smith Dirty Steve Domonic DoMoreKid Donald blackwell Doug Chee Dwehji Majd Dylan Clune Felicity Black Felix Theo Wren Fernando Takeshi Sato Gabriel Almeda Garrett Blankenship General Moose Ginger Levesque Grant Stonex Greg H Gunt Squad Gary Haley Brown J Garcia J.T. Hosack Jacob Ortega Jacob Rice James banks James Bown James Hunter Jameson Flood Jason Bragg Jason Haley Jeffrey Lusero Jenna Sunde Jeremy Johnson Jeremy West Jerry Zhang Jesse Witham Joaquin Rodriguez Joe Dunn Joey Desrosiers Joey Piemonte John Bowles John Kutch John Slade Johnathan Jensen Jon Ross Josh Cowger Justin L justin marcoux justin shuy Karen Sullivan Katy Doyle Kelly Elliott Ken Comstock Ken Melvin Kennedy Kenton call Kevin Best Kevin Fleury Kevtron Kiera Parr Kigabo Kirk Cahill Kishalin kristen rogers Kyle Baker Lacey Briesemeister Laura Williams Lauren Cribb Leighton Fields Linsey Logan Yakemchuk Lorell “Loretta” Ray Luke Danton Mark Glassy Matt Eckenrode Matt Holland Matt Kaman Matt Leftwich Matthew Azzam Matthew Price Matthew Sizemore Matthew Snow Max Bowden MEDICATED VETERAN Megan Andersen-Hall Megan Daily megan Wrynn Meghan LaCasse Michael E. Ganzermiller Michael polcaro Michael Senkpiel Micky Maddux Mike montague Mike Poe Mike Sarno Mike Vo Mitchell Watson Mona McCune Ned Arick Nick Butcher Niko Ferrandino Nikolas Koob Nyx Ballaine Alta Old McTronald Old Scroat Mccrackin Owen Lide Paddy jay Passenger Shaming Patrick Gries Paul Flores Paul Lococo Peter Craig Peter Shea Philip James Qie Jenkins Ranger Rick Rashelle Raymond Renee Nicol RinDee Roar Hanasand Robert Doucette Robert Mitchell Robyn Tatu Ryan Crafts Ryan Forrest Ryan Garcia Ryan Jordan Ryan Walsh Ryan Wolfe Sam Illgen Sarah Anderson Scott Scott Lucy Scott Swain Sean Scott Season Vaughan Shane Pacheco Shannon Schulte Shawn-Leigh henry Sonja Prazic Stacy Blessing Stahn Johnson Stepfan Jefferies Stephanie Claire Steve Corlew Steven Stoody Sungmin Choe Suzanne O'Reilly Taylor Beall thatdudewiththepaperbag The Asian Hamster Thee shitfaced chef TheGremlin Cafe Tim Bonventre Tim Greener Tim Ozcelik Timothy Eyerman todd vesterse Tom in Rural NC Tom Kostya Tom Reichardt Tommy From England Tommy Redditt Travis Simpson Travis Vowell Trevor Fatheree Troy Ty Oliver Tyler Harrington Tyler Shaver Victor Montano Victoria Adams William Morris William Reid Peters xTaCx Stretch Zech JohnsonSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Today's episode is brought to you by gray block pizza gray block pizza It's a place where they have pizza and you knew that already gray block get that hitter Today's episode is brought to you by the MN ML case. That's the minimal case the world's thinnest phone case Go to any country Zaire Somalia United Republic of Congo Japan and you will still only have one thinnest case And that is the MN ML case the minimal case. It's just point zero one inches thick It's basically like a hard condom for your phone. If your phone wants to get into something naughty sultry Maybe go to a steakhouse. Maybe go lean up against a piano or a dark alley and listen to jazz music

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You might want a tougher case, but if you want something sleek and clean and something I mean good God you could slide this thing anywhere Then you're gonna want the MN ML case.com promo code Theo Today's episode is a young man who I'll be honest with you. I Don't know if you had if you had Tourette's or not from being totally frank We were looking for a Tourette's guy someone who had Tourette's or has had Tourette's a lot of our listeners No, I beat down syndrome when I was young, you know The doctor said 95% chance that he has it and then eventually said 40% chance by the time

I was like 11 years old or like 0% chance maybe 5% chance So I understand people overcoming afflictions and rare diseases, but This guy we look we wanted to have somebody in who had Tourette's and Tourette's is a French disease That made its way to America and afflicts millions of people maybe even hundreds of millions and And we had a fascinating conversation He was very kind to come in. He's given Ted talks on the subject and and this is a man who found a way to master You know those

You know those, you know, one of the Lord's most dangerous and wild gifts, which is Tourette's ladies and gentlemen our guest today is Ted talker author and Tourette's Defeater mr. Mark Elliott. I'm sitting here Mark Elliott. Thanks for joining us today brother. Thanks for having me Theo Yeah, I appreciate it man, and I was like because you You know, I was looking at some of your videos was looking at your Ted talk and I was like wow this guy you know

At first I was like because it's about Tourette's mostly about Tourette's syndrome You know, it's about a lot of things. Yeah. Yeah. Well, okay, so then well, tell me what Tourette's is man So if somebody doesn't know Tourette's, you know, like what is it? Okay, so So when I grew up, yeah, let me start there because I think it's a little bit easier Okay, the way that that I understood Tourette's syndrome is that it's a neurological genetic disorder that's involuntary and has no cure Yeah, it's like just somebody working freelance really on their own, you know, it's somebody just the Lord I feel like it's just remix and somebody and they're just kind of sure. Well, you know, some people I Mean sort of I mean for it. It's bizarre when you see somebody. Yeah, you know ticking because it's

Obviously, if you know it, it's not as bizarre. Yeah, but you know, just from you know If you're just walking or you're at McDonald's or you're walking somewhere and you just start seeing someone bark like a dog Yeah, doing things on control be that it's oh, we had a dude named Jim wager And he would bust out the n-word every now and then, you know, and I don't use the n-word unless you do You know what I'm saying, but um He was this white guy and he would just and so a lot of times people would just take him over and like set him in like The black area of like the schoolyard, you know and just run off and like just wait for him to go off, you know And then and that was kind of wild. I mean, you know, like so you have I mean

I guess kids can be more cruel about it But yeah, I guess for most people if they think about it like if I think about it I don't know about most people but it's like yeah, it's a it's a it's a disease or it's a syndrome or it's a thing where You are like involuntary. It's almost like somebody is like you're a puppet of Of you know, some dark lord or something Of a dark lord. Yes. I mean some people did I think some people believe that you actually are possessed by the devil kind of Yeah, it just it looks it looks it's just intense when you're watching it. Yeah But let me just explain a little bit of how I actually experienced it because it's sort of evolved over the years

Okay, but we had it you still have it or you have it you had it. I don't have it anymore. You beat it I beat it. Hell. Yeah, dude. Hell. Yeah. Wow. You beat it, man. So And I don't say that I cured it. I mean it was right. It was a journey. Okay, and we can talk sure we'll talk about it more Yeah, yeah, but basically, you know, I even posted some videos about this But basically the way that I experienced Tourette's is that there's a very uncomfortable feeling on the inside Yes, okay, so I always go to tell people, you know, think of an itch, right, you know So if like you think of an itch right now, you'll probably just get one, right? I don't know how that works with the mind. Yeah, it's craft. That's called it's craft. It's craft. Yes

So there's see exactly. Yeah, so yeah, you can start it. You think it you get it you start thinking about it Okay, so there's this uncomfortable feeling in my body. Okay, and When I was a kid the only way I knew how to get rid of that feeling was to Or to say a word Okay, or to you know hump my Thrust my my hips whatever it was. Okay, and as soon as I ticked that itch went away Okay, and it felt amazing, right? You just feel so much better because that discomfort whatever that itches. It was gone now, of course

When I was a kid, I didn't have that type of understanding about it though. I just was There was so basically there's the right understanding of it. So you're just living it I'm just living it and I wasn't like, oh, I have this this and then I'm doing it. It always one big mesh kind of ball of Tourette's, you know, yeah and the the Thing is when you use that analogy though, you have to be careful because people could then you know say well

Why'd you just not scratch it? Just don't don't scratch it and that's a great question, but It's tough. You know imagine having 10 like instead of just that one itch that you might be feeling on your leg imagine now having 10 15 20 Itches, yeah all in one spot. Yeah. Oh, well, then if somebody looks at you and says I have an itch right now And I'm not scratching it that person is We usually you know That person's with Satan or that person is like a that's a sociopath I'm saying imagine somebody leaning over to you and be like, hey, man. I

Have the biggest itch. I'm like, you know my my leg is my arm is itching so bad But guess what? I'm not gonna scratch it. You're like, what a psychopath, you know, so yeah, I want to scratch an itch That's totally normal. You can't not it's like you would do it no matter what yes and growing up. I didn't I didn't Know of any other way it could be right that was just the way it was right and so My definition of Tourette's now has sort of evolved over time But this is kind of interesting for me and this is just my opinion. Yeah that itch that I described To me that's Tourette syndrome. Okay that feeling whatever that is and then When you see somebody tick or somebody would see me tick that was actually me in a sense

Coping with my Tourette Okay Does that make sense? Yes, it makes sense. So the itch is the Tourette's the uncomfortability the you know, the but you know The baffling uncomfortability the need to do something that the in in controllable desire to act Yes, that is the itch. Yes, that's the Tourette's and then your reaction your tick is a It's the release It's the way that I can get rid of that that uncomfortable feeling because as soon as that feeling goes away you feel normal You're normal. Yeah with Tourette's syndrome. It's difficult because

That feeling comes right back. Okay, you know, it starts to build up again So, you know now how is there special ways like I remember this one kid like the same kid this boy Jim wager at school They would put like, you know, if they laid him on their no joke They'd lay him on the grounds when I'm put like cement on his back cement pieces and he would not get it for a while And it would like what do you mean cement? Calm him down. Just like, you know blocks not cinder blocks, but Thick kind of chunks of cement, you know so and it would like I don't know if that was the weight of it or something it would kind of like You know, it would exacerbate the desire or the buildup

I guess of the Tourette's and him, you know, I mean, there's also kind of old school You know, not doctor, you know, you do whatever you can. I mean, yeah But I remember yeah at one point they were stacking and then it got a little bit weird because people were to stack and pieces of cement on him You know, like you know why he was basically like, I mean it looked like he was in his own little 9-11 there You know, he's just like in a big pile of rubble, but he wasn't karate chocolate. Yeah, I don't seem like Dude, did you ever have that teacher that would come to school? It was always like this weird teacher He would come to school and do like the karate presentation for the student body. You ever have that? Oh, you're bringing back some memory. I mean

You yes a big memory of like, you know, sort of like a 50 year old man like the huge you know in the white Karate Jersey, whatever you call it. Yeah. Yeah, the key. Thank you Yeah, that was a big thing in the south where every like other year or something one teacher will put on like a skill They had in this one dude had on num chucks I guess, you know, and he had an assistant and he was literally they started it And he hit this girl right in the next or and then they just shut it down No one with num chucks knows how to use them. Yeah, thank you Thank you. Do you okay? And that should be a crime. Oh, who knows?

I mean, this was a different time when they didn't care if everybody was okay, you know, but um anyway So yeah, not trying to you know, but I would see I saw this the only experience I had with being around somebody with threats when I was young and this isn't about me But it was just a you know, this boy that had it and how people would react to him and then You know, people would do things like I remember a lot of people would like kind of hug him or push on him Sometimes and it would it would make him kind of feel okay or comfortable for a little bit Did you find ways that made the Tourette's feel more comfortable to you or to kind of like quell it so that it didn't Build up so fast because like you said you relieved it with a tick

Yes, you would release it or relieve it and then it would start to build up again I tried so many different things. Okay. I mean I I did medications Okay, well the the cool thing is with that analogy that I was describing with the itch in the scratch Now sort of looking back. I see that and again, I'm not a doctor. This is my My diagnosis of how I how I saw it But when you take medication in a sense that numbs the itch, okay So now if the itch is numbed you you have less of a desire to want to scratch that itch because you don't feel it as much So for a lot of people with Tourette's or sort of other neurological disorders like that

I think that's so beneficial and helpful to them because they don't have that desire like that You're not ticking as much. Okay for me though the consequence and the ramifications were the side effects from the medication Oh, really? Like I got wild ones. What is it? Say that again. What is some of the side? Oh some of the side it was um, I mean I had sedation I mean I just was sleeping all the time even one time. I had Really suicidal thoughts. Yeah, and I wasn't a really depressed person, right? But it it just it messes with you. Yeah, and you're not you're not the same It's sort of like there's this

Kind of wall or this sort of like buffer between you and the world Yeah, a little you and yourself almost a little bit. This might be a medication or what it's like, you know That was my experience with it, you know, and that's a very accurate experience. I found that with anti-depressant. It's it's like Yeah, I don't feel depressed, but I also Don't know if I'm a hundred percent and I'm just sort of separated from my feelings overall So I don't feel as much of whatever my feelings are. Yes And for some way that might be worth the trade right but for you that wasn't it was not worth it. No, it wasn't worth it I mean, I was

Yeah, I mean, it's and it's just tough. I mean you're in such a difficult position already, you know I mean to be for a lot of people in my situation or your tics are that bad You're trying to do whatever you can to end this you just I just remember a lot of times crying because it was just so bad Really and it was like wow and you know, I was an interesting person and you got diagnosed with it. I was diagnosed I mean, I had it's not self-diagnosed. This is not yeah, I didn't have a self diagnosis I mean, I started when I was real little so I had you know, like little things like sniffing and oh, yeah My brother even put like a contraption on my nose when I was a kid because I was like like imagine it wasn't sniffing It was like an outward sniff. So imagine like your little brother like constantly sniffing on your face

So yeah, yeah, I could see it being alarming after a while alarming for you know Just it's not even alarming like maybe something's wrong. It's like what's happening? Yeah, this is weird Yeah, my my brother's a French bulldog all of a sudden, you know or something, you know So I kept doing stuff like that and then I supposedly the way it goes down is my dad was reading and Anlanders, which was I don't know if it's still around but it's like a medical column or something on the newspaper Yeah, was she medical was it medical and landers kind of that they would what they have dear Abby was self something like that But some sort of self-help. Yeah, you know, she's like a grandma. They gave you good advice. Okay, and so yeah He was reading the article and so the way I kind of imagined

You know, he's reading the article and sees me and reads the article and sees me and eventually he goes, you know Maybe he's got Tourette's right. It was an article about Tourette's and the and landers and we went to a neurologist And you know, there's no blood tests or anything like this. This is a really so there's nothing like that There's nothing like that. This is a behavioral thing and yeah, I think in order to be diagnosed with Tourette's You need to have both motor and vocal ticks. I had both at the time both I had both. I mean you were making the joke about the friend that you knew I used to tick the n-word as well Oh, yeah, so I'm if you're gonna do it do it, you know, you gotta go all out And at least if I get busted saying it dude, I don't have Tourette's, you know, or I might put that day

You do. Yeah, I'm gonna put that out there right now. But yeah, it's like if somebody, you know So you would say that you'd say you said them all me it would get I did everything Did you have control like did you know if an n-word was coming? You're like, oh shit I got to get to a white area of town. I I mean, that's pretty much how it was I mean, well the thing is with the analogy that I was describing to you. So First off, I wasn't saying the n-word when I was you know in fourth grade, right? But you know, I've heard of some cases where you know, you hear some kids are saying just Inappropriate things when they're young. Yeah, not even that they have a they're not even cognitive to understand what they're saying

I don't even think you know, right? It's just maybe they know. It's not a good word, right? You know or something like that, but As I got older, I also had pretty serious OCD and OCD was based, you know obsessive Compulsive disorder and it was basically the same thing as the Tourette's in the sense of there's this uncomfortable feeling Mm-hmm, and I have to do something to get rid of this Okay, so the way that it manifested for me was I would I used to think of what's the riskiest thing I could do Hmm, whatever the hell that was that became my itch

So I used to give me an example that you're about to I guess so I used to stick my hand on the Garber disposal. Oh, yeah Yeah, that my mom was what she heard that I was doing that that was That's not it's not that I Don't like my fingers. Yeah, I mean I'm so grateful to have my fingers But there was just this you want to ride the darkness you want to ride the darkness. Yeah And sometimes I would lift myself over in the ledge of if I'm on a on a building or you know I had a friend's patio or something and then When you're around people I used to think of what's the riskiest thing I could say and this isn't you know rocket science

Right think about any time you meet somebody. Oh, yeah within a half a second, you know You could you know three risky things you could say to that person. Mm-hmm. That would either offend them Or would be about their insecurity. Yeah within a half a second. Oh, definitely, dude You know so instantly I would see someone so if I saw you know a really fat person Yeah, what would you say? Yeah, what would you say? I maybe would say it's okay Well, the thing is so growing up, you know, the the mullet was something that was like totally not okay Yeah, for us, you know, I may would maybe tick like Hoosier, right or mullet. I would maybe start ticking mullet Oh, just start saying something that so it's like something that feels forbidden that you maybe wouldn't say yes

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Go to meet undies comm slash weekend. That's right. Me undies comm slash weekend Tag us in one of your posts if you put it on the social media on your story so we can share it We love me undies my whole crew is in them Let us hold your junk for you me undies comm slash weekend Don't laugh So hold on now, no, I'm curious about this because you know what to so like say if I you know look at you, right? And I would think like You know, I would think this you know, the first thing I would think would be what's that store that's in all the malls

You know, what's that, uh, you know that one, I know the one that goes The one that goes that's in every mall where people buy like nice clothes, but it's even in like smaller malls too Banana Republic So I would think like Banana Republic like right when I saw you, you know, we're like J crew or something You know, like kind of like a put together kind of, you know men's shop, right? Okay, and not and so But like yeah, I might not just say that right when I saw you, you know Like I wouldn't think of that as even as a bad thing, but just like, oh, you know, you see the guys nice He's put together. So I think oh, that might be something popping in my head Banana Republic, you know, J crew

Um, you know Wells Fargo something in my head that pops up. So then if I was just sitting there now Is that an idea that comes to you? Here's what I'm asking. Sorry. Is it an idea that comes to you of something negative to say? Yes, okay, so it's an idea. I'm literally thinking what's the worst thing I could say right now Okay, and whatever that was that became the itch. I don't know the physics behind that like the mechanics of how that worked Is actually them but it was just until I then said that word. So if I was with you, right? Oh my god I got to say mullet. I got to say mullet and I'm this dialogue is going on in my head, right? And well, it was also hard about it. It's just being an ass. I mean, it's to some people It's just be there. They're just being an asshole if they have that what's the difference between somebody who's just an asshole and

And somebody who has Tourette's then I guess it's a good question The thing is is that I don't think I think it's more about the person's intent, okay You know, so where there's a lot of you know There's people who say a lot of mean things to people right and They are purposely trying to hurt the person correct meaning, you know trying to degrade trying to do something to Take him down. Yeah, where with me with the Tourette's syndrome and I think you know most people with Tourette's syndrome That wasn't what I ultimately was trying to do even though it seemed from the outside dude, you're just saying

You're just saying really offensive things. Yeah, and you mentioned that you were gonna I don't know if we were gonna watch it later or not, but there's a clip from South Park Yeah, I don't know if that's one of the ones that you saw. Yeah, it is Yeah, we have some do you want to you want to pop into them now Nate? Sure Tourette's is like a cough or a sneeze. It isn't contagious like some people think A lot of people with Tourette's have different tics. My tic is That I have to bend my neck and set my fingers, but a lot of people don't even notice it This really isn't all that fun

Oh Yes coming from my Is that Nick Swanson? I think the last one was actually Nick Swanson. Uh, maybe Nick Swanson has to rest He might he told me the other day. He was gonna shit out of his armpits So and I think that and that was in a Christmas card. So he certainly may have it Okay, so we see a clip like that, right? I mean first off, I'm laughing cuz I haven't seen that in a long time right All right, I mean South Park is brilliant. I mean, I think just then in general I think they have a certain brilliance of how they do things. Yes

On the night I had a I really had a belief growing up that You have to make light of things. Mm-hmm. And I also You know, I had an amazing support system with my family And I had a belief that if I wanted to be if I wanted people to be tolerant of me I also needed to be tolerant of people. Okay hmm and I mean when I see that now, it's a little bit different from when I had it, but it also was I mean, it's really funny

I mean, it's oh, yeah, I mean when he sees it when The very first scene when Cartman finds it. He learns about Tourette's syndrome first. He goes I found the golden And he sings this whole song and You know to the because he found a way to be able to say what he wants to say whatever he wants to say Yes, right. And that's why I was thinking of I thought of this clip because when you were asking about, you know What's the difference between somebody who's just a jerk, right? And it's you know, I don't think most people with Tourette's View it that way. I don't think that They're the kind of person or I know I know I agreed, you know, it's like

It's you know, because and this is the other thing to it So there's funny parts to it. Mm-hmm. And it's great and then there's also all the other times you don't it's not funny Right, you know like I was You know, I had an older brother that That liked men and then was gay, right? That's tough to you know constantly be around your brother and say oh, yeah and tick really offensive things for gay people Right, right. So yes, it is funny. Mm-hmm. And then there's also the pain Right of what it's like to be in front of people. I mean, I had black friends. Yeah, I had great black friends

Yeah, tick in the end. We're right in front of their face. But then also like you are like a lesson for everybody in you know Since it's involuntary You have the ability to be a way that everybody could kind of just learn about You know tolerance really, you know, it's almost like you're just like kind of like this tutorial kind of this bootleg tutorial That's kind of floating around the universe when you have it of you know Be tolerant, you know, because it's not it's coming from another Realm really, it's not you know, it's not like you're sitting there and you got a 30 second timer and you clock in and

Then you know in 29 seconds, you're gonna straight up dropping in bomb, you know or You know that's crazy though, it's almost like you're like the Bruce Willis of like profanity kind of I feel like you know Yeah, I mean it was You know every pop quiz hot shot. I mean everyone seconds left on this for I wasn't happy to everybody But it was more than just cuss words. So I mean I'm taking racials thirds cuss words, you know, if I You know walked up to somebody and they had a mole. Yeah, I would start ticking mole, you know, and that was right when Austin powers. Thank you. Yes. Austin powers came out with the whole bowling bowl. Oh, yeah I

That was real though for me. Oh moles were hella popular then do they've gone back out of style Along with Fred Savage that was Fred Savage. They had that mole in Austin powers. Oh, it's true And if you have a mole, dude, I had some moles on growing up and I like a normal person cut them all off one night when I was drunk in High school, which is something I highly recommend to a lot of people, dude What happens cuz I had the same thought a couple times Oh, I just took some toenail clever's and just saw them all off, dude I had a couple of drinks one. I'm kept coming back for about six years and finally I got to the root of it You got to get in there get in there

But you don't think it's fascinating man when I hear you talk about this and look we're just yeah We're joking about this in some light, you know, it's like but we're not I'm not, you know discrediting that that you know The disease or people that that suffer from it You know at all like and I think it's I think it's fascinating man. I mean I couldn't I'm trying to equate it to like what does it feel like because I have this feeling inside of me Sometimes it makes me want to like do something bad, you know, it's like a misbehavior almost It's like and for me sometimes it's like a you know, some people will call like an alcoholism or something inside of them that like It's like a restless irritable discontent feeling and it's almost like when you see a power line and it's cut and it's on the street

But it's still live, you know, it's like that's that's the feeling I get inside of myself sometimes at night And it's like I can't it's like I want to do something It's just like I need to do something right now and I don't even know what it is But it's like I need to do something so I can just then I'll be okay What I don't even I don't even know what it is, but when you're talking about Tourette's it made me think like man That's I That's something like that I get but it's in my whole being it's like in my and I guess when you Really have Tourette's and you have that I can't imagine I have some control of whether or not I do something

I can't imagine not having control and knowing that whatever this is like a champagne bubble is just gonna bubble up to the surface of you Yeah, I don't I think it's actually pretty correct. What you're saying. I mean I I Really believe sort of everybody has Tourette's now. Yeah And again, I won't keep qualifying it, but it's this is my experience now. Yeah, you know of My journey of living with Tourette's for 20 years, right, you know, my friends and I we think When I wrote my first book we were estimating. Mm-hmm. I probably ticked around 25 million times You know, that's like comes out to like over 3,000 times a day, you know, so you know Really experiencing Tourette's

Knowing what it was like living with a day-in-day out and then overcoming it and going through that journey. Yeah, I I I just I I think about it and feel about it very differently now And I sort of think that in a sense we all have Tourette's. Yeah, and so I think it's it does make sense that you say that as I'm describing it You're like, you know, I wonder if I feel I Think I know that feeling or might know that feel right. I can relate a little bit. You know, I really can't and I don't mean that I'm not saying that I can relate to having Tourette's but I can when you said that man It's it was very specific like man. That's the feeling that I get It's like an uncontrollable thing and it it's in me and I can feel it like

It's almost like an amoeba or something that is like alive and it's like it's not really in a specific spot But it's like on the edge of my skin. It's in my throat and it makes me want to Do something, you know, it makes me want to you know, for me it usually comes out in like a master like Masturbation smoke and cigarettes makes you want to do something bad to myself. That's what I feel like for me But yeah, so I can't I can't I can't imagine if you're just sitting there I can nine years old and you just feel the dark arts bubbling up Well, I don't what I what I don't know is why that feeling started for me Ah, you know, and was there a time before that you didn't have it

I mean supposedly, you know, I started ticking when I was around four or five. Okay, and so Whatever it was, you know my My Body whatever it was just let's say it is genetic. Let's just say it is, you know I mean, I experience it way less that way, but who knows but maybe my you know what one of my mentors said I mean, you know, maybe your body had a genetic predisposition towards feeling that feeling, right? okay, so maybe my body was more sensitive in feeling that feeling and As I just grew up, you know as a little kid and you feel that feeling

What do you do as a little kid if you feel uncomfortable? Yeah, you do whatever you can to not feel uncomfortable, right? So literally this is how I hypothesize it. Yeah, I'm sitting there one day I'm making this up. Yes, I Have a feeling and I go, I don't like that Okay, I feel better right done and the 20 seconds So I have two minutes five minutes go by and all of a sudden the feeling comes back again And I go, oh, I know how to get rid of that feeling. Yeah. Yeah And it just goes on and on and on so the way that I think about my threats is that in a sense that I was a type of

positive feedback loop That I just continued to do and I didn't ever learn like a self soothing type of thing Yeah, and I never learned a different way to deal or cope with that feeling right, you know It wasn't you and who knows if you would have this was probably your but because a lot of times naturally You'll do what you need to do Yeah, you know and some people I don't know the exact statistic But you know 50 maybe 50 percent of people grow out of Tourette's, you know And some people's ticks wax and wane and different things and so, you know, everyone's got a different body a different

They relate to their body differently Sensations in their body. Yeah The way, you know, all these different kinds of things so and do you have to now say if are there people who are diagnosed with like do you does a doctor Diagnose you is it how does the diagnosis go because when I saw it when I when I was like watching some of your tech I was like this guy doesn't have any this guy seems fine, you know, this guy seems Good, you know, well, it's it just depends on what went when what videos you saw right and when right now Yes, when you go back to the ones from you growing up and different points your life and showing like it's like

Oh, wow, that would be wouldn't imagine that would we have the ability to play of the tick compilation? Yes, absolutely. Yeah, let's get some ticks out. No It's your mark Elliott. You would just type in mark Elliott tick compilation. Okay. Let's I want to see these bad boys, dude Cuz I'm not sure which one you yeah, but which videos you saw and can you put some? They'll be sound with put some trap trap music in the background. Have you ever done that if you remixed your tics? Dude, how do you not remix your tics, dude? We'll have somebody somebody a fan of the show will definitely put some trap music It's a rats dude. How do they not have that? I think well, they have it now. Yeah, you can have a whole album. Oh

So this one once I beat it I used to then play this clip really gonna give my speeches because no one would believe me that I had Traps that you had it. Oh I have Tourette's, by the way, just gonna throw that out there, okay? What's that guy, we're trying to buy something from you? No, this was a security guard at the library. He was actually very gracious. So is this something that, so you have this bite, it's like a sound and a biting face. Some people will only be able to hear this.

It's me going like this. It's basically like Peyton Manning. You're like Drew Breese basically, but no one's ever snapped in the ball. Now was this a living dream of being a QB, right? All the time, just non-stop. But that was so... Dude, blue 42 you threw into. Blue 42 is right there, bro.

It must be an arrowhead or something because they can't see him, so it just keeps yelling hot. And it's a feeling that's, for that, it's a feeling in my teeth, it's a feeling in my throat. How does this relate to like a cerebral palsy almost? Because that I feel like, I'm trying to think of something that would be like the deep end of maybe along that same spectrum, where it gets to so much where you can't even... I don't know it enough. The way that a doctor explained to me pretty early on, they described Tourette syndrome as the mother disorder to me.

Because we're talking in the realm of neurological genetic sort of involuntary disorders, because you can't really compare Tourette's to like MS or Parkinson's and things like that in the same way, because with my very little knowledge of those kinds of things, like a tremor is, that's something that's happening truly not at the will of the person. Like if you have Parkinson's, I think it's like, you know, their arm is shaking. It's not just like, oh, I have this itch and I need to keep going like this. It's like the physiology is doing that. Okay.

Where with the Tourette's, it's not like my mouth was... It's not that my mouth just did that from a divine... Right. I'm saying, Mark, okay, you need to move your mouth now. Okay, I feel better. To get better, yeah. So that's why it's different, the way that I understand it. But it is the mother disorder.

Okay. So underneath it, they would just... So it's kind of the root of some of those other disorders you're saying when you said the mother disorder? I don't know if it's the root, but the way he described it is, if there's this umbrella and the top is Tourette's, there's a lot of comorbid disorders. Okay. OCD, ADHD, social anxiety, anxiety, OCD, those kinds of things. And oftentimes people that are diagnosed with Tourette's,

those other disorders are much more debilitating than the ticking itself. Right. Because if you've got really bad OCD, that can really mess with you and limit you in what you can do in life. Oh, yeah. We had a dude I remember in school and he had a... I guess it was like a big bag or something. And every... I mean, two, three times a day, he'd have to get in this bag.

It was like a huge duffel bag, like a ski equipment bag. In the middle of the class? Yeah. Get in it, zip it up, and then get back out. It was like he was a magician. Like a magician's assistant, but there was no magician. You just see this dude just lay his bag down, get in a bag, zip it up from the inside, then unzip it and get back out and just sit back in his desk.

There he goes again. And it was just like, damn, Lonnie's bagging himself. I don't know. And everybody was just losing their minds. But I think it's funny the different... Man, I can... The more you say some of this stuff, man, and I'm not trying to make this about me at all, but it makes me think a lot about how people describe alcoholism,

how they describe it like it is this thing that they just feel like they have to do. There's something inside of them that is an uncomfort that makes them then feel like they have to engage in drugs, alcohol, illicit activities to quell the uncomfort. It's not like... Most of the time it's not people like, oh, I love the taste of beer all the time. That's why I drink or that's why I love cocaine. It's like there's an uncomfort and to quell it, these are the things that I'm using, you know?

So it's really fascinating because it sounds in some ways like some of the roots are the same. There's an uncomfort that builds up and then you are doing... You're doing something just to relieve it, just to make it go away. It's not... And it's going to come back. Yes. And so how do you get from where you were then to where you are now? Where now, you know, you are recovering Tourette's...

I'm a recovering ticker. A recovering ticker. A recovering ticker. What are they called? No, I made the joke, a recovering ticker. Oh, yeah. Yeah, a recovering ticker. I just want to say, you know, I do understand what you're saying and I don't think it's that

far of a stretch. Right. What you're describing. Yeah. Which I know is a sensitive issue. Yeah, yeah. And I know it is too, yeah. And so, you know, because we also just live in very sensitive times right now.

Yeah, that's true. You know? And so it's difficult because some of the things that I'm trying to say, it's a delicate balance because I'm one, I'm sharing my experience. Right. I do believe though that by sharing some of my experience, it might shed light into other people's experience of them dealing with Tourette's. Because growing up, I only saw it one way.

It was, you have Tourette's, this neurological genetic disorder that's involuntary and has no cure. So, you know, with respect to that feeling, this is kind of the way I think about it. So if there's that feeling. And as I got older, I had more of that awareness about, okay, look, I've got this itch and this scratch. I don't know how else to change it though. This is my...

It's like the itchy and scratchy show from Simpsons a little bit, but like in one person. In one person. Yeah. Can you imagine? It's basically like Tom and Jerry constantly. All the time. Yeah. And you're both characters.

I'm both characters. And it's also, it was a war zone on the inside. Wow. Because not only was I just, you know, one thing if it was just myself on the planet and there's not a single person, it's just me all day scratching, you know? But it was, you know, I didn't have a lot of self-confidence. So I'm thinking about the feeling and then I'm going, oh my God, I'm about to take mullet.

What's Theo going to think about me? Oh my God. Is he going to be offended? Oh my God. What's going on? And all this is going on through my head. Or imagine, you know, you're about to see the end work. Or when I was in an airport, I would take bomb all the time, you know, things like that.

So it's, you know, or, I mean, more funny ones too, when I was with the girl, I would take other girls' names. Really? The P word or not? You say P word? P word, everything, man. It was crazy. That would be so crazy.

Imagine if right when you pick a girl up and you're like, uh, drop off early, you just, she can tell immediately if you're interested or not. The funny thing is one time there was a girl, at least you get it out of your system, the rest of us have to mill it around all night, you know, just bullshitting, spending $40 at Chili's and then we got to take the girl and we're not even interested. It's more of a test. So if you say, you kind of just see where they're at and then, but what the funniest thing was one of those uncomfortable things wasn't even a sexual term.

It was, I met a girl, just, I just, I was crazy about this girl. We go on the first date and I start ticking, I love you, the first date. I mean, that is, that was paid for it away. Oh, that's painful. I do, I've done that over text here where you get a girl's number and then seven minutes later you're like, I love you and then you get blocked. I think I have text rats, but no man, and I shouldn't have made a joke out of that moment.

That's a real moment, man. I, I can't imagine that dude because then it's like, well, did that start to show you something like unique about like feelings and stuff though? Because then it's like, you know, save you because there is something funny if you meet a girl and like in your head, you know, you go off on, you know, this adventure, like I'm in love with this girl or something special and, and sometimes that happens just immediately out of the gate, you know, you'll, and within two minutes you have all of these, you know, you guys are living in a castle and she's, and there's all these perfect things going

on in your head. Did you start to find that sometimes your Tourette's was a good, like crystal ball of people that were like good people or people that meant something to you? I didn't feel it that way. You didn't. It was just a nightmare. It was. It was.

But you know what I'm saying? I know what you're saying, but it just was. It wasn't that. It wasn't that at all. It really was. I had no control over my mind. Yeah. No control over my body.

Yeah. And that is why though, I think it relates to so many things because that feeling, whatever it is for people, we all have these feelings and, and so often don't feel we have control and what makes Tourette's unique, I think is that, and again, I haven't been an alcoholic. I haven't done these things, but for all of us that have that feeling, you know, if you have that uncomfortable feeling and you want to get a drink, you have to go get a drink or if you want to overeat or you want to just eat to cover that feeling, you got to go to the refrigerator, whatever it is with Tourette's syndrome, you don't have to go anywhere

for it, it's just right in your body. It's like a one-stop shop. It's just a one-stop shop. So I, you know, in some sense, I think that's what makes it unique, but I think what also then makes it very universal is, is that we all, and I think as, you know, as a society, we have trouble dealing with those feelings. And I just learned a very specific way to do it, genetic or not, it doesn't really matter. That was just how it went for me.

That you learned a very specific way to deal with that feeling. And what I think makes it also different is, you know, when somebody, like, have you ever, you know, been uncomfortable and you just go to the refrigerator and you don't even realize it maybe, you just, you're just all of a sudden at the refrigerator. The thing is we don't call that a medical condition. Right. That's just you dealing. Snacking.

Yeah. Snacking, you know. And again, it's not like snacking is the same thing. The same dynamic. No, no, we're not saying that. It's okay. You can. You know, for a kid that's ticking.

Audience isn't a bunch of freaks, man. It's totally, you know, usually understanding about like, you know, discussing things. But I think it's neat is that for me, when I started to shift my perception that way with help, everything changed. But I want to know what is, so that it seemed like you had, you started to find some solution for yourself in that moment. So as I was describing with the metaphor, it's a metaphor analogy. I'm not sure.

It's okay. It's okay. Dude, yeah. I don't know anything and everybody's been listening for a while now. Yeah. It's pretty interesting. Okay. So that, if I've got that dynamic, I got this itch and I got the scratch.

Basically when I was a kid, doctors told me, hey, that itch, by the way, that's a neurological genetic involuntary thing. You go, just let it go. So imagine as a kid, what do you think I do when they tell me that? That just becomes basically the law of gravity. Like I don't even question that ever. You don't even question what the desire to act out or do something or say something strange or something.

No, because they told me that's... That's just science. That's gravity. That's your gravity. Yes. That's Tourette's. Right. And remember, it's no cure.

This is involuntary. This is genetic. Yeah. I mean, think of those words as a child, as you're hearing those words, like it's genetic. It's involuntary. Neurological, you know. Well, especially if, yeah, I would think it would very much sentence you to a way of thought and belief.

Yeah. And these were great doctors, by the way. Yeah. These were good people. I know some of them still, you know. But why then, as a child, with respect to this whole itching and scratching and ticking and all this stuff, why would I ever evaluate it again? Or even know how to evaluate it?

Right. It's just, okay, this whole thing that's going on, this is Tourette's. It's all just under one big label of Tourette's syndrome. Okay. So what took you out of that then? And I know you're getting there. So just, I wanted to preface that because that helps see it's like, why would you ever question that?

Right. Yeah. You'll never bend your leg from a kid, I mean, you're a child, then you'll just probably think your whole life you never will. Exactly. Yeah. And rarely would some people even think to go back and think, well, can I bend my leg? Yes.

And when I speak, oftentimes, you know, I talk about with childhood, like we're told so many things as a kid that some are totally true and some are totally false, though. So this is just what you're told. And the thing is, is the one caveat to that is, as a kid, you don't know the difference between what's true and false. Right. So you don't know the difference between Santa Claus and Eat Your Veggies. Yeah.

It's the same thing. Oh, it's interesting. I was thinking about that last night that kids believe that Santa Claus exists. That's fucking baffling, dude. It's baffling. You believe there's a senior citizen in the sky? You know what I'm saying? Traveling like that.

They'd shoot him down over half these countries. Somalia. This day and age. Oh, you know how many other small slaves would pull up alongside him in Somalia, steal all of his shit? Pirates. Yeah. Different times, you know.

But yeah, but as a kid, we believe that wholeheartedly. So it really does take you into the mind of a kid. It's good to try that on, right? So then when I was older, I guess this is now, nine years ago, I met this other speaker and he introduced me to these amazing classes called Executive Success Programs. And these courses had nothing to do with Tourette's. Nothing at zero to do with Tourette's in general. These are classes that teach people about emotional intelligence, fears, limiting beliefs,

all those sorts of things, things that you don't learn in regular school. So when you do the name Gary, that did it? Gary? Yeah. That did what? Told you about the classes. No. His name was Daniel.

Oh, sorry. That's so funny. You're a mind reader as well. No, I just know a dude named Gary and he sent me some links, but I was just wondering if it was the same guy, Gary Whitehill. I don't know Gary Whitehill. Yeah. That's a great guy.

The cool thing was I ended up finally going to the classes, again, zero to do with Tourette's syndrome. Okay. They just teach you about the human psychodynamic. So I ended up going through the classes. It's a 16-day course. And after the first five days, I started to learn so much about myself of just how I work. And again, when I say I learned about myself, literally what I'm saying is you go to school

to learn about math, arithmetic. That's math. Yeah. Is it? But also. Yeah. Science. You learn about those things, right?

Yeah. Those kinds of things. But when you're an adult, right, there's a bunch of things at school. Most schools, general public doesn't teach you about like, how do you deal with fear? How do you deal with failure? Yeah. Like things that are very real for all of us and you're just kind of supposed to figure it out when you're older kind of thing.

Yeah. Like how is race relations not a class that they have in elementary school? All of that stuff. Yes. Okay. Unbelievable. And how do you kids about a fucking Gerald Ford dude, you know what I'm saying, who I think played for the Celtics or it was a president, who gives a fuck is what I'm saying.

I'm saying, yeah, emotional intelligence should be the number one thing we're teaching kids after how to communicate. Play for the Lions. Who is he? Play for the Lions? He did. Gerald Ford. Gerald Ford, I'm pretty sure.

The president? Yeah. Did he? No. I could see that actually. Is that not true? Did I make that up? I'm sorry.

I could see that. That's okay. I have no idea. Go on. But the point is I didn't learn about those kinds of things and I started going through it and started learning about these things. Right. I started to learn a lot about the nature of fear as well.

Now with OCD, remember, I also had really bad OCD and I started putting pieces together and go, you know what, maybe that feeling that I've been talking about, I go, maybe there's, I have a bunch of fears around it because there was, remember, it's like you have to do something to feel better. So if you don't do it, it's not okay. Right. And I started realizing maybe I have some fears there. So right after the first five days, I ended up going down to Panama.

I had a bunch of speaking gigs in Panama and with my OCD and stuff with the Tourette's, I had a bunch of shit around my face and touching. You maybe have heard of people like this. Oh yeah. You can't, you know, cause germs and all the, the, the, the, and I freeze tagging themselves all the day. Yeah. Yes.

Fucking some dude just sitting there patty kicking himself and he fucking, one dude almost knocked himself out one time, about 800 times. You're making, you know, it's for you to make a joke, but seriously, sometimes if a friend touched my like one side of my face, I would go, dude, you got touched by the other side of my face. Yeah. Just stuff like that. Dude, it's so funny.

You say this when I used to walk down the street when I was young, I wouldn't, I would like bite my mouth, this side of my mouth, and then I would have to bite on this side of my mouth. Same. And I would bite on this side of my mouth and that dude, I did that for probably eight years, man. Okay. And then when it went away, I never fucking, I would, it was all I would think about.

When I was walking and biting, making sure I was even. And then when it finally went away, I never fucking thought about it again. Ever again. Until pretty much maybe now and one other time in the past 25 years. So similar stuff to that. So basically I'm at the beach and I go, you know what, I'm going to, I'm going to start going against this. And I had, you know, again, all these fears about Germans in my face.

And I go F this and I take all the sand on the beach and I start rubbing it all over my face. And it was, I really look at that as the beginning of beating my Tourette's. Because it was, it was finally me going, you don't control me. I'm going to start taking control here. And, and that experience was just so emotional and also just eye opening for me. Cause I, you know, what do you think I said to myself after that, like I'm rubbing this all over and then I'm there and I go, I'm okay.

Oh yeah. I'm okay. Right. Like, yeah, the devil didn't come. A dragon didn't, the earth didn't split open and fire eating. You know, all the kids from my childhood and they can come back and rip me back into the fucking universe and cut my genitals off. You know, so I ended up going through more of the classes and the president, the company,

her name was Nancy Salisman and she ended up coming to my training. And on the sixth day, you start to look at fears. And it was really cool because I had had enough shifts at this point that I go, you know what? I might be afraid of losing Tourette's. You might be afraid of losing it. Losing it. Like stopping it. Like, and again, I know it sounds crazy.

And it was, if you would have, if like, I would have known you Theo back then and you would have known me the day before I would have started that training. And if you would have said, Hey, Mark, you might be afraid of losing Tourette's. I would have been like, what did you just say to me? Well, because it was your identity. It was so much. And again, I wouldn't, even if, even if you would have said, Mark, it's part of your identity. Go, what do you mean it's part of my identity?

Yeah. I wouldn't even have known how to talk to you about that. Oh yeah. This is just, I have Tourette's. That wow boy. Yeah. You know, so. Wow.

That is crazy that somebody would say that because it's the last thing you would think. But you found that there was truth in it. For me, there was truth. And I started to do a bunch of explorations and I finished that course. And that was really all about the Tourette's was like, you know, looking at the fear, but I just started learning just a lot more about my mind and my thoughts and how a lot about the mind body connection about how, you know, things are connected. And so that was September, excuse me, that was over a summer I took that whole course.

The whole school year went by and I'm back on the road speaking at the time. I was a, I was speaking a lot of high schools and colleges all around the country. And did no more of the classes by the end of that school year, that feeling had gone down so much that literally I started to need to almost like fabricate ticking a little bit. Hmm. Oh wow. So now you're playing a role of a ticker.

Yes. To keep up with your thing. No, I still needed to, I still had the urge to tick. So it wasn't like it was done by any means, but it was, you know, these people were hiring me and I had Tourette's syndrome. You better show up with fucking Tourette's. Yes. You know what I'm saying?

If you say you're fucking, you know, running dope, you better show up with a mule. Yeah. Like that kind of thing. Don't come in a cup and tell me it's milk. Exactly. So at that point I go, you know what, Mark? You can beat this. And I ended up going back the following summer and I took some more courses.

Really? I was there for 17 days and now I came with the intention and every day I worked on my mind, my, everything relating to the Tourette's, anything that I could think of that because basically what I found was is that my Tourette's was way more emotional and psychological than it was physiological. Wow. Man, it's, I can't even tell you enough, like everything you're saying, it's very similar to stuff that you, that you hear in a lot of like 12 step programs, you know, it's like,

it's whatever's behind the behavior. Yes. Well, ultimately, and what I, what I talked to people about is that I found, not I found through the help of some amazing people and tools, I found the cause. Of your Tourette's. Of the Tourette's. And let me, let me clarify. Let me clarify.

I don't even know if I found the, the cause cause of it all, but I found a way to short cur, short, short circuit the whole system. Yeah. And I found of so much of what was causing that feeling. So that's what I'm saying. I don't know what originally caused it. Like how that feeling got there. Fine.

Maybe it's neurological genetic. Who cares? Right. Okay. Great. So I had it. The question is, what can you do now? Yeah.

And, you know, with the incredible help of these people and ESP, I, I found a way to begin to undo it. So those were courses you went to now, what about somebody who doesn't have the money to go to courses or who's not like, what can, you know, somebody that has like a, a tick even, even if their tick isn't at the level where they would get them, you know, it'd be classified as Tourette's, you know, um, I believe that there is a bigger thing going on in the world where it's like, we don't use our human interaction isn't as used as much anymore.

Like we're kind of out of this like colonial survival kind of times and tribal times when we're getting a lot more in like a sedate time. And so our nerves, which used to be like kind of the leaders of like what was going on, what was over the, the, the ledge, if somebody was outside as my family all in the home, you know, the, the, that system that was always a running in as a security system now has kind of been like idle in us for a long time. And so it seems like I wouldn't be surprised if there could be things starting to kink in it or, you know, it's settling into its kind of new unnecessary system, you know, unnecessary

use. So I could see like a lot of things like alcoholism Tourette's like just a malfunctions of it, you know, or, um, errors in the, you know, just from not use, you know, like, you know, because when you think about how much in a couple of generations, we're not using our fight or flight much at all. And to think such a powerful system sitting inside of us, it's like, what's going on there? You know, it's almost pretty bizarre. And I have no proof of that.

But when I just think of things on like a more of like a macro level, I could easily see in hearing you say that and seeing how many people are like, you know, struggling with their feelings and stuff these days and, and, and feeling like a desire, but not knowing what to do, um, I could see a lot of that being a little bit in the same umbrella like you were talking about earlier, you know, um, I think it's, but back to the question, what do people do if they don't have that? They don't have the ability to go to the, um, executive, uh, programming and they don't have that.

Well, I think, I mean, one, I hope even just being able to talk about it like this can begin to help somebody see what if there's a different way you can look at it, right? You know, because, okay, so reframe something for me. Well, simply even as I've been describing is when I grew up for 20 years, this is neurological, genetic, involuntary disorder with no cure. So the question is, okay, maybe that's true, maybe that's not the, what an individual can start thinking about is what if that's not true? What if that's not true?

Like why, I think just in general, what would it mean to be just more curious about yourself and your life? Let's say you can't go get help, you can't do whatever. What do, you know, can you just start questioning yourself and go, right? What if it could be different? Again, I mean, the way that it started was, you know, I did, I went to a class had a really different insights into myself and then I went to a beach and I go, I'm going to do something different here.

Yeah. So I'm going to start thinking about this and see what's on the other side. Contrary action. You know, because it was just so emotional for me not to do that. Oh yeah. So I think really one of the biggest prerequisites for anything in life, if you want to change is you have to one be curious and you have to want to change. Oh yeah.

Yeah. They had a dude, I remember this dude, Samuel, when I was growing up, they said he couldn't walk, right? He's in a wheelchair. He turned out his parents were too lazy and never taught him to walk. So turns out one day he fucking got up, you know, a couple of buddies helped him in the gym and by the afternoon he's shooting hoops, you know, this was someone you knew and it's like, what the fuck man?

You know, like, but if he doesn't ever get curious or question that thing, if you're just sitting in his chair forever thinking like, yeah, this is where I'm going to be. And man, when you say that, well, you were talking about his contrary action, you're talking about like, man, I don't want germs. I don't want things in my face when things touch my skin, it makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm going to fucking stick my head into the fucking universe, you know, two handfuls at a time and go through the looking glass. I mean, that's next level.

That's next level in that moment for you, but it's also it's just contrary action. It's like, yeah, like I have trouble like, you know, there's a lot of therapist methods where it's like, okay, let's look through your past and think of what happened and try and figure it out. And then there's a lot more active, proactive therapist methods that I've found from going to therapy where they're like, I don't care what happened in your past. If you want to have a better sexual relationship with your girlfriend, you need to get in bed with your girlfriend and lay there and start there as opposed to sitting in a room and

wondering, well, I don't know why we have these problems, you know, like, but I've definitely started to notice that there's two methods from going to therapists. And so it's kind of like what you're describing. It's like, you can sit there and know the facts and go through and the file folders and look back through a lot of your history, or you can, like you did, you had a frame of reference or frame of perspective. It sounds like in just, Well, I want to say for me, what was cool is I, it was really both ways because by going

through the class and, and really, really what happened is, is that I was able to proactively yeah, lower that feeling. So that itch within about a year and a half went down 90%. Wow. So, and, and a lot of that feeling I found was through a bunch of triggers throughout my whole life. So it was this beautiful synergy between going deep in there. And the other reason I felt lucky is because a lot of people are willing to go deep in

there, but they don't have a tool that really can help them find where to go and how to get rid of it. It ends up that the tool was incredibly sharp. And so I was able to go in there. And as I was going through some of these processes, which was just conversations with people, I would have this amazing experience or realization. And all of a sudden that feeling would go, boom, boom, and I'm going down because the feeling would start going down.

So it wasn't like I, for a way that a lot of people, a way that I think a lot of people tried to beat their Tourette's or help their Tourette's or whether it's alcoholism, OCD or anything in life where it's a type of challenge like that, sometimes you just sort of stick your head down and you just lean right into it and you go. And that's great. And that is what some of what I did. But what's also really nice is what if there's a way that you can make that really uncomfortable feeling diminish.

And so it's not such a mountain to climb. And that's why I feel so grateful because I didn't have to go climb a mountain. I had to work my ass off and there was something deep inside of me. Some, I also was really sick as a baby for an intestinal thing. And I think that that played a lot into it, but I have a really strong will. And I was willing to on that beach go, you're going in. And I don't know where that came from. But I had that in combination with a group of people and tools that made that battle

so much easier. You need help. Does that make sense? So it wasn't just like, I was like a Spartan going. It was, I was a Spartan, plus I had, I didn't even know what, I mean, I had some training wheel humans, you had partners, you had people that knew what to do, you had conversations that a lot of time can unlock. Yes.

Yeah. That literally unlocked my potential, my, my, I mean, literally the way that I connect with it is they helped me in combination with how hard I worked. I literally became more conscious. I became more self aware and that I go, Oh, that, that feeling. And one metaphor that I'd tell people as a way to describe this is one way that I got helped is, so there's this feeling and I was a little kid and I go, Oh, that's a bad feeling. That's a shitty, bad feeling.

But what if there was a way when I was a little kid, which was not possible, that I could have decided it was a good feeling? And the way that I think about it is, do you, do you like massages? Do you like the kind of massages where it's like super painful, like elbow in the back? Oh dude, I told him last week, we paid a couple of Vietnamese dudes to beat us up downtown. 70 bucks. So you like, you're one of those sickos. Yeah.

A top rope in there and everything. They'll come off the ropes. They'll do whatever you want. Yes. So you like it hard, right? Yeah. I like some attack in there. Okay.

Now, I like a little bit of fucking, you know, Vietnam too, if you know what I'm saying. Yes. I don't know how that ends, but it'll be, you know, it doesn't, it's a 70 bucks, a 70 bucks on the last about a half hour. The question is though, do you know people though that don't like it hard like that? Yes. Okay. So this is what's so interesting.

Here you have two people getting a massage and one person loves the pain. Another person hates the pain. So what if when I was a kid, I could have changed my perception of that feeling? Like I had that uncomfortable feeling. What if I could have loved it? Right. Right. Yeah.

What if you'd have been, been somebody that loved it? Yeah. Now again, there's no way I could have done that as a, but some people get scared and they get excited. That baffles me sometimes. Some people like, you know, like evil can evils, they jump off of stuff and they're fired up. Dude, if I go flying off of something on a motorcycle, not doing well, you know, and

I wouldn't even try. I mean, for me, that's like a nightmare. Yeah. I would think of it as a nightmare, but it's interesting how some feelings to some people are totally a different feeling. So what I was able to do with the help of all these people is that I was literally able to manufacture and literally almost rebuild my pathways. Did you do EMDR?

Did you do any of that? I don't know. And it was all through just a, or a lot of it was through, I mean, I know it's a lot of work. That stuff is a lot, you know, it's a lot of work. If you want to go back and really work on stuff, you know, I know that it is a lot of work. But the cool thing was, is that my experience was, is that the way that the process was,

it was incredibly, it was- Formatted? It was formatted and it was also very simple at the end. Not as simple, you have to be very skilled to work with somebody, but meaning within 30 minutes, you know, I could talk about an experience and feel very different. Do you work with this company now? Is this a company you're partnered with? So what's really cool is that, so I was going around the country speaking, you know, for years, and then, you know, it was an interesting thing, like I'm on the stage, you know, in

2011, I was college speaker in the United States by a campus activities magazine. Okay. So I'm sharing- You went to NACA and did those? All those things. Yeah. Yeah. Apka. All those.

Oh yeah. So the reason I'm sharing that is because like my whole life was Tourette's, you know, and I'm going around talking about Tourette's and- Oh yeah. Yeah. And really the whole thing. Shaky bad boy. Shaky bad boy.

And I was, my whole thing was really about kindness. Right. And it was really about tolerance and kindness. And it was an interesting thing though, because now here I'm trying to help people on stage, and yet I'm getting helped in a whole other way, like I'm getting penicillin back here, and I'm having a 40 minute talk with people. So when I realized that there was a way that I could help people in this way, that's how I wanted to learn how to help people.

I see. So you were helping people, you were talking about Tourette's, and then you got involved with the ESP group. Yes. Okay. And so I was able to do that over the last five years, and it's been unbelievable. And one cool thing was after we started, after what happened to me, and again, ESP had nothing to do with Tourette's, but once it happened, the founders, they started going, Keith Ranieri

and Nancy Salisman, I think they started to go, what if we could replicate this with other people? And so over the last four years, we've been able to replicate it with 10 other people with Tourette's. Get into the program and get better. Yes. Wow. Well, we created a special thing just for people with Tourette's, and this is the crazy

thing. So it took me like a year and a half to get down 90% as I was describing. Guess how fast it's been replicated? I don't know. Take one guess. Seven. Seven what? I don't know.

Like seven months? Yeah, I think so. Four hours. Oh, wow. Jesus, man. I hate guessing. People can get rid of, using this, can get rid of Tourette's and four... Oh, no.

No, they can't hit really. So I kid you not, it was probably one of the... Because that sounds like something I would say. I'm dead serious. So this... So I want to be really clear. It's not saying anybody can get rid of their Tourette's syndrome, it's saying people that had severe Tourette's syndrome that had tried tons of different things, that deeply wanted

to get rid of it and end it for themself. And also, we went through quite an interview process because we were looking for very specific people that we thought just met a bunch of different conditions that thought they would be a good candidate for this. For all of those people, I would say seven or eight, two or three out of the ten are down 70%. And the other six, seven are down 90 plus. Wow.

And what was so neat is that once this started happening over the last four years, we had this incredible filmmaker who he goes, we got to start filming this. So we started to film it. And so what was so neat is that I would find someone with Tourette's or someone would tell me about somebody with Tourette's. And we would go through this whole process to see if they would be a good candidate. And then once we thought if we had a good candidate, a film crew would go out to their life, film their whole life with Tourette's.

They would come work with us in Albany, beat their Tourette's, and then we would go back into their life and film their life without Tourette's syndrome. Do you guys... Y'all don't know... It's not... You guys can't be in the Special Olympics or anything. It's like you could fucking run that shit if you could tighten... I can't be in the Special Olympics, no.

But I will tell you, I'd much rather just train for the regular Olympics now. I mean, just because it's... I mean, life is so different now. Is it really? What do you miss about having Tourette's, man? Like really having it. You know, the thing that I miss is... I miss in some ways...

I'm gonna think about it for one sec. I... I'm gonna try and think what I would... The thing is, you... People knew me. Yeah. Oh, you're a rare element, man. I remember...

People knew me. Yeah. People knew you. So, part of what my experience has been over the years is that I had to start how to learn in a way that I never did before, how to relate with people. I can understand that. And I think... You know, that's not unique to Tourette's.

I think we all have different things. You know, you're a... I don't know a lot of your history, but you know, you were a comedian, you've been a comedian in a long time. Yeah. So, now imagine if somebody said, hey, Theo, comedy's done. Never can make a joke again. And then think about what it would mean to how every conversation now you had with somebody.

That's a really good correlation, man, to be baffling. You know? So, that's also what was so neat is that I was going through the classes. I was taking a lot... I was doing a lot of work to also build a foundation just to learn how to be more me, how to learn how to be with people again, because my whole life, I always had the Tourette's. I always had this thing. And that...

So it was interesting because, you know, the first whole journey was beating the Tourette's. And then there was a whole other journey after that. Who were you without the Tourette's? Exactly. It was almost like you're... Now you're Clark Kent and you're like, well, who the fuck is... Who am I? Yes.

Dude, it's funny you say some of that. When I was, you know, in high school or right out of high school, I did reality television. I worked on MTV for a little while. And I remember after that, you got real popular and went to school and all these kids knew you. And this was back when they only had, you know, 40 television channels. But then after that, I didn't know, I still, it had been like reformative years. I didn't really know who I was, you know, I was just kind of getting out into college

and into the world. And then I became, you know, I was this guy that was on this, on television, you know, and it was very uncomfortable to get away from that. I mean, I remember having visceral reactions. I remember I'd go to the gym and like I would sweat and without even doing anything in my head, it would itch. I'd feel these needles in my neck and head and like extreme on comfort because I had I was nobody without that thing kind of.

And I didn't want to be that. I didn't like that, you know, and I didn't. And I wanted to get away from that. But at the same time, it was like, I had no clue who I was, you know, because for a couple of years, this was kind of who I was. It just gave me, everybody always came and talked about that or that was the thing or something or, you know, and it was just hard to be, it was hard to learn who I was, you know, I can't even fathom that man.

Like being in this shaky cage and all of a sudden, you know, you're out of the cage and you're like, well, fuck, it's kind of wild out here. It's been wild. And I think it almost in some way, absolutely. And I absolutely felt naked. And I think what's hard for a lot of people that were close to me was growing up. I was, I was such this gregarious kid and I was outgoing. I was, you know, I was student body president of my high school.

I did plays and sports, I became an inspirational speaker. But how could you do all that with Tourette someone? Well, the thing is I learned to compensate so much. Right. That I did. And again, I had this incredible support system that, I mean, what most people don't have, but I learned to that even because I didn't have that strong sense of self. I just did whatever I could to try to be normal, to try to get people to like me because I

felt like I was, because I was three, I felt like all these three steps behind because I had the Tourette's. Yeah. So the moment I started, I met you, I'm already behind because I got the Tourette's, I got to make up for all this stuff so that you go, okay, will you like me? Am I okay? Yeah. So that really has been the most profound experience of all this is finally starting

just to be more me. And just going, I mean, now when I talk to friends too, like the way that I think about my life is like my whole life, I was in the deep end of the water and I didn't know how to tread well. And I'm just trying to figure it out, get by, not offend people. What are people thinking? All that stuff. And really only like the last two years did it feel like I made it to the shallow end

and I just started walking out of the pool. And that it's just like I'm learning how to be normal, but just like on the inside, it's just so much more quiet now. And I can just learn how to be with somebody and be with me. And something that I never imagined, I didn't even know that could exist for me. Like it was just- Right. It was like being another ethnicity almost or being another culture.

So that's been, it really has been these different journeys, but so I'm excited to keep going, keep finding more of me now. And I really- Can it flare back up, Tourette's? So the thing is I don't think of it in that way or experience it in that way. Because the way that I also look at it now is, you know, I have like a very serious impulse disorder. Okay.

But you're still Tourette's though. Well, what I'm saying is, is like that feeling that we're going to call Tourette's. Like it was like I had an extreme impulse disorder. Like any feeling that I felt, I indulge in. Right. Okay. Now again, by no means, that's an involuntary feeling that I had. And I had no way to do it differently.

So over the years, I've gone through a lot of, with a lot of work on myself and training to really learn how to become less impulsive as well. And so what are some of those things that people can use even if they're not doing Tourette's? Thing is it's, what can people do? It's- I wish you would just- Because you can't take the course. Like, because the course is where you guys take it where and where.

I don't know. Unfortunately, the courses don't even exist at the moment right now. Okay. So but if they had the courses, like yeah, someone couldn't afford to go to a school or go to a place or get into a program like that, meditation, it sounds like is one good thing that could probably help. I think doing one things like that is meditation. Of course, when I had Tourette's and someone said do meditation, I said, you know, go screw

yourself. Right. But then you commented on it. Yeah, right. But then it probably helped, huh? It helped, but it was so hard for me because as I was just describing, I had no, it wasn't quiet on the inside. And it's easy to say to someone who would just try to be quiet.

Dude, you're in a hall in there. It's like a Best Buy in there. Black Friday inside of you. It was crazy. Yeah. You know, I think the best advice for somebody is try to begin to challenge things if you want that. Right.

And I wish that I could say... What do they do in the four hours? And the four hours with respect to somebody that beat it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you just tell them what you just said for four hours? No, you don't tell them that for four hours. So the thing is, I mean, the methodology, it's a profound way to help somebody basically break limiting beliefs and help them become more rational.

So it's like, if you're trying to help somebody with, like let's say you're still an adult and you walk around still believing in Santa Claus, we can work with somebody to start to ask them a bunch of questions where they on their own begin to realize Santa Claus isn't true. I see. Right. That's a really cool process to take somebody with that you need to be very skilled to do. Yeah, you got to be skilled.

You have to be skilled to help lead somebody to help them deduce things on their own. Yes. That's a valuable skill. So what, and what made it so powerful and why it could happen in four hours is because somebody wasn't deductively telling me it. So somebody could, so for instance, if, I mean, it would be insane if somebody goes up to somebody with Tourette's because they've heard this interview and go, don't tick. That would be not only would it be insane.

It would be a couple of years for you, bucko. Yeah. I don't even think that would be moral. It would be, it would, I don't think that would be a good thing. It'd be old school for sure. Part of the reason that I was able to, why it's so permanent is because I was able to, as you said, deduce on my own those realizations. And when you have that type of realization, it's, it's like a perceptual shift.

It's permanent. Yes. So does that mean that I have no feelings in my body anymore? Absolutely not. I still feel that Tourette itch very little. And I still do things to help change my relationship with it. But to say that I have Tourette syndrome at this point, I think would be insulting to somebody that really is struggling deeply with it.

So within those four hours, you know, it's, it's trying to help somebody. It's not about reframing or, you know, feel the feeling, but don't do it. It's really helping them have really neat insight into how they relate with that feeling and also figure out what's going on in their life that might be causing that feeling. And that's how we were able to, not I, how Nancy was able, you know, to help people so quickly. And the cool thing is, is that this past year, a documentary came out and you can literally see on the screen, you can see this happen.

You can see within four hours, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's profound. Yeah. To watch. And I really believe that, you know, one day that this, you know, sort of this methodology and also, uh, this movie can really open the eyes for a lot of people because I believe that this can open the doors for Tourette's for ADD, ADHD, social anxiety, anxiety, um, OCD. Yeah, no, I think some of the stuff you're saying, it's like, even if someone had Tourette's

right, who knows what other stuff builds around that over time and magnifies it so much more. Yes. Whereas even if you can go back through and scrape away some of those things by helping them deduce in their own time, in their own react, so it actually, they figure it out, which is such an articulate thing that some therapists and stuff will be able to do because they ask you questions and they help you figure out in a way where you figure it out. Yes. They don't, you're not telling somebody something.

Um, then they can, you can knock away so much of the stuff that, that, that makes everything so much tougher, you know, whether it be Tourette's or, I mean, it's some of the stuff they're using in a lot of other programs in some ways, but I think that's fascinating, man. Um, you know, and it's just the power of like people helping people, you know, I always wish I had a stuttered. I had a dude boss named Douglas Hueval, right? And he was, he might have even had a study, he might have been pretty ignorant, honestly,

but he was a nice kid, but I remember he had a stutter in school and I thought it was the coolest thing ever. And I'd impersonate him and the teacher would be like, what are you doing? You're making fun of him. And I'm like, nah, I just, I want that. I want to be like this, you know, this guy's so unique. Um, but yeah, I guess, uh, I don't know, man, it's definitely fascinating and it's definitely seems like it's been quite a journey, you know, I can feel that you're passionate about

it, you know. It's been an incredible journey. Yeah. I mean, I've learned, you know, just so much about just the human, human behavior. Human, the way that we interact with each other, the way that we treat people. Yeah. And that's really why, you know, when I started speaking 10 years ago, it was all about kindness because basically people, people were making judgments and assumptions about me without

knowing me, which is normal, right? It's normal. You see somebody, you, you think it's okay to think negative things about people. The question is, is do you really know what's going on? Right. And so I think it was a neat thing because here it was, I was doing all these crazy things and people were acting on those judgments or acting on those assumptions. And then they, they took whatever they saw me doing as if it was truth.

And so really when I started speaking, the message was about the first phrase that I used was live and let live. Yeah. I want to live my life, you live your life. But really it's like, look, if you don't like, can you recognize that whatever you're thinking about that person, you don't really know. Right. And if you don't really know, no matter how much hate you have towards that person, can

we at least be kind? Right. Can we, can we at least treat people with kindness even if we have really negative feelings about them? Cause we don't really know. Ultimately know. Yeah. You don't know if the guy's being rude to you, you know, or he was having a tough morning

or just cut you off. You don't know if he, you know, his house just burned down or, you know, he just lost somebody or if he even just killed us, you know, you don't know if he just killed somebody. Like you don't know what he's going through, you know, like you don't know what somebody's going through sometimes. Um, but yeah, no, look, I think it's fascinating to hear about. It's fascinating to hear like, you know, like your respect for the Tourette's condition, you know, like the level that you feel like, you know, you had it, how you envisioned it,

how you, um, you know, recognize it inside of yourself and, you know, ways that you use to, uh, deteriorate it, you know, or, or, or, or quell it to a place that's more manageable for you. And, and, and that you're able to be aware of that at the same time so that you can, you know, communicate it to other people. I mean, yeah. I mean, it's definitely, you know, cause I was like, does it, I was like, does Mark, it doesn't seem like he has Tourette's, you know, but then when you get in and you hear

about it, it's like, Oh, well this is very relatable, I feel like, you know, um, but there's a couple of videos we want to play real quick of a couple of Nick, you want to lead us into that. Yeah. And we actually had one caller, uh, call in with a question to about living with it. But yeah, we can pop those up. Sure. And then after that, we'll look at some examples of Tourette's and pop culture and we'll get

your grade on how it was depicted. Sure. Okay. It's a great, uh, photo there. It was pretty good actually. How's it quite a stencil? Is a stencil? You know, I don't know who did that.

Some man sent that in, probably honestly. That's actually really trying to fuck probably so there's a lot of sweets and real lurkers man. Beautiful. Theo Vaughn. I'm a huge fan. I have a question for your guest to us who had Tourette's syndrome, um, how often did you get laid while you had Tourette's syndrome and how hard was it to get women or men if

you're into that? I respect that. And then how often have you gotten laid since you've stopped your Tourette's syndrome? Um, all right, God bless you. Good night. God bless you. You came in a little surprising, but I still respect it. Oh, man, it was so uncomfortable with women.

Really? Oh man. Well, partly because how little self-confidence I had. Yeah. Again, it's all, you know, it's always easy when you're looking at someone from the outside, you think, you know, what's going on. Yeah. But on the inside, I, you know, I, I did not feel that confident about myself.

Oh yeah. I was super confident because of the level of compensation that I was doing all the time. Yeah. Were you doing crazy stuff? Were you wearing necklaces and stuff like that? Like were you trying to? No, it wasn't like I was trying to look like I was super rich, but I was trying to look like I was put together and it wasn't a shit show on the inside.

Right. Were you wearing like a, um, tuxedo and stuff like that? Not, no. Luckily, no. I still had some semblance of like, let's try to be, you know, with people. Oh, good, good, good. Yeah. Like I said, damn, you know, like you're, uh, Joe, you know, Joe Black or something

at every, at a, yeah, at a rave or something. But it was weird with women. I mean, it was, I mean, just imagine hooking up with a girl and yeah. You just crush it now. Is it easier now? I'm like, it is infinitely easier, but it's also just because I am more confident with myself. Yeah.

So after I, you know, I beat the Tourette syndrome, I mean, just to, I mean, sex is one thing. Just imagine sitting with a girl and not saying the riskiest thing. Oh yeah, I can't, but I could definitely say this dude beat Tourette's Let's Fuck would be the best book ever, even though that is not what we're talking about. But I do want to let people know that, uh, that, um, you have a book, you have two books now. What do you have? Tell me about it.

No, I have a book that came out about six years ago and it was called What Makes You Tick. Okay. But another book would be, I think, really good at this point, you know, because I, that book, I had just started, uh, ESP and, and, and beating like the 90% when that book came out. Um, and I also just wasn't as open about my participation in ESP at the moment just because you know, there was a bot, there was bad stuff about ESP back then.

There's even more bad stuff about ESP now. Is it like landmark? Is that like a group kind of? No, it's unfortunately, it's, I mean, it's definitely in the same realm, you know, it's in terms of it's a group of people that are trying to help people. Yeah. Um, you know, but now it's in the news with a bunch of controversy around it and things like that.

And that's not the set. Is it, did we have, uh, oh, we have Michael Rosenbaum on here. Yes. Unfortunately. Yes. Same group. Oh, wow. So it's, you know, it's, it's been a profound journey to a friend sent to me recently.

So here I used to have Tourette's and I used to experience so much prejudice because I was ticking the N word in public. And now that I've beaten Tourette's and now I'm just a white guy walking around it in a way I'm experiencing more prejudice now. Wow. And so, uh, yeah, walking into the club, dude, you know, at least you got to say it a bunch. Yes.

I know. We're fucking out here on an island. Well, I hope that made sense. Isn't that the reason I said about, and now I'm a white male is because white males in our culture don't experience a lot of prejudice relative to a lot of, you know, compared, a white male compared to someone with Tourette's experience is less. I see what you're saying. So it's interesting now of, of still seeing is that even without the Tourette's, I'm still

learning so many lessons about prejudice and the nature of how we treat people and how we label people, whether it's a group or, or a syndrome or whatever it might be. Yeah. So, um, yeah, we battle with that too. Like, you know, in comedy and just talking about stuff, it's like, it's different, you know? I mean, hell, I don't even think you could legally have, you couldn't even have Tourette's today in Los Angeles.

Like they, I feel like they'd hang you at the, at the cross if you dropped a couple of bombs out there, you know? Like when I was growing up, you could have some Tourette's, you know, you'd have a dude, you know, everybody, you know, people could have something's, you know, they carry the dude over there in the, in the area and he sets off a couple of bombs or use them. But in appropriate terms, people were more understanding. Can you even have Tourette's nowadays and be accepted? Well, the thing is, I mean, people were, I was really open and I, you know, my family

really was supportive and we pushed it and I would always tell people I had Tourette's. I would make announcements on planes and my classes. I think in general, most people are, I think at the core do want to be understanding. I think what's difficult is that we live in a time where, where people don't, there's not a lot of critical thinking and, and people are so quick to- Yeah. Just be mean. Just be mean or jump on the bandwagon of being mean with other people and whatever it is.

They don't want to communicate. So it's weird that they would say someone Tourette's has a problem communicating and now it's like, I'd rather have Tourette's than be, you know, one of these social justice warriors who's just beating everybody who doesn't want to have a conversation sometimes. You know? Well, I think, I mean, one of the big things that I, in trying to talk about kindness and stuff is it's interesting how we as a society, we fight bullying with bullying. We fight hate with hate.

And the question is, do we want to, do we want to continue to perpetuate that or do we recognize maybe there's other ways that we can treat people? I love that, man. I agree with that a bunch, you know? It's like, even, yeah, it fascinates me sometimes how much people will be hateful and just because it matches their point of view that it's okay to be hateful. You know, it's like, oh, you can't be hateful, but as long as, but I can, you know, it's like, yeah, how do you not recognize, I mean, being hateful is being hateful, you know?

But it, go on. Well, I want to say it's not that I'm above that. Right. I used to so much all the time fight hate with hate, you know, even when, you know, I was growing up with my older brother who was gay, man. I was one of those people pioneer and, you know, if you didn't like gay marriage, oh, I hated you. And then luckily, you know, through a lot of my education and going through some of

the classes too, I've started to really want to be different and recognize, you know what, I do, there are things that I really dislike or people that I don't dislike. And the question is, okay, can I still be different even if I feel that way? Yeah. Yes, that's it. That's the biggest thing. It's like, yeah, I know some great people who don't like, who probably would be who, who would be against gay marriage, right?

And I'm not going to hate those people for that. They're, they're good people just because their belief system or whoever taught them or something, that's their thing. Like it doesn't mean that they would be rude to gay people or that they would treat them differently. They may have some old, you know, a religious belief and that's their thing. It's like, or anybody's religious. That doesn't mean I have to believe it.

It doesn't mean I have to agree with it, but it also doesn't mean I have to shun somebody because, you know, their beliefs are different than mine. You know, it's, it's baffling to me that we do that or, and why would we do it? You know, because it's not understanding. It's not accepting really. Well, the reason I think we do it is because I think we're not aware of how we all do do that. Yeah.

And that was also. That's a good point. And it's also, you know, it was like part of my journey with the Tourette syndrome. It was, I couldn't even see the, even just about the fear of losing Tourette's. I wasn't even willing to look at that, maybe not even willing. I didn't even know. And so it was with help that I could start to become more aware of that. And then when you start realizing like, you know what, I also don't like a lot of people

or you know what, I also feel negative feelings towards people. That's when you can start to have a little bit more compassion when you see someone else doing it, you know, but now we live in a time where, you know, someone's caught on video saying some prejudice thing. And then what do we do to that person? Yeah. We're completely prejudiced to that person. Yeah.

Instead of offering that, well, how can we, what can we learn from this? How can we, this person, you know, how can we accept them into a fold and make them feel comfortable and make them feel like, oh, we all make mistakes, you know. And that doesn't mean you can't hold them accountable still. Yeah. Agreed. 100%. You can't hold someone accountable and still be kind.

You know, and do you think it's the media that's more like that or humanity is more like that? I struggle with that a lot. I think the media is just an extension of humanity. I think it's, you know, well, it's like, you know, when someone talks about a company, like someone's like, well, this corporation, and it's like, look, yes, it's a company, but it's just people. Yeah.

It's just people. It's people. It's not a robot. You know, it's people. So, I think this is hard for all of us, but I think it's just really what I've come to learn so much throughout all this journey of, you know, with the Tourettes, without Tourettes, my experience now in the company, experiencing a lot of prejudice of, I don't really know a lot.

I do want to stand up for things, but I think there's different ways we can do it. And I think, you know, when you look at history, and you look at someone like Martin Luther King, his whole message of nonviolence, I mean, here, look what he stood up for. Yeah. He stood up for nonviolently with compassion. That narrative is basically non-existent right now. And instead, it's sort of, you know, we live in a time where if you think somebody did something wrong, you point the finger and...

And people will quote Martin Luther King Jr. and then go out and beat somebody's ass too. It's like, this is insane, you know? But yeah, look, man, I love some of the ways, I love hearing some of this and being reminded of it. Like, you know, I find every day, like I'll be mean about stuff and then I'll realize that I had a part in something, I'll have to go back and, you know, apologize or, you know, I mean, it's... And I'm with you too.

I mean, this is a constant journey for myself. It's not like I'm above this, I don't do this, but it's more of I want to keep becoming a person that's not like that. Yeah. I want to become a person who's, you know what, I can feel really negative thoughts about somebody and still be kind. Yeah. That's not easy.

Say what you mean. My brother always says that to his kids sometimes. Say what you mean. Don't say it mean. That's what he says. I mean, it's just one little thing about what you're saying, but yeah, I agree, man. It's like, I'll get upset at groups of people sometimes and then I'll be like, well, what's really going on here, you know?

But I think we're getting to a place like that inside where people are thinking about those types of things more. Let's look at a couple more videos real quick so we can shut it down over here. We got to... Cool. This is from the 1970s, Quincy. Okay. It's a perfect scene.

That's the hallowpair at all, isn't it? I'm going to be okay once I get up there and concentrate. I'm going to go see when they want you. I've got a courtroom here and the kids got the rats, I guess. I feel like I just swallowed a butterfly collection. Well, you're going to be fine. I just... I don't want to scare them.

I feel so small. Well, just think of David and Goliath. Yeah, but I don't have a slingshot. Dr. Quincy, I don't know if I can really go through with this. Oh, you're going to be fine. You couldn't do it, Tony. Honest you can. There you go.

And that's Quincy is the movie and it's about... It was a TV show about some doctor, psychologist that helped people. I've never actually seen that clip before. Oh, well, there you go. Nick did some good digging right there. You put him on a disease at night and that guy'll really show up in the morning with some wild clips. For the people who are just listening, that guy, he just had facial tics and stuff.

How did that look? That looked pretty... I mean, I think you have a lot of people who do those kinds of tics that don't have Tourette syndrome. I'm sure you've met people that blink their eyes and stuff. And also, if someone's listening and you've been blinking your eye, you don't have to freak out. It's not like you have Tourette's.

You might have dust. You might need an air purifier. So that grade for that one? That was pretty low. I'm not sure what was... He was also doing something with his hands. Not in an intensity like his depiction. Yeah.

Did that actor do you a good job? What are you doing on a one to ten of that Tourette? I actually thought that was a pretty good, I mean, especially with the eyes. I mean, that's not... What do you think, a seven? I'll give it a six. Okay. Wow, six.

Tough grader, but that was lauded at the time when I was doing digging of just a good depiction and very educational. I thought it was good. This is my first standard. So I could give it an eight, too. It's far enough. Give it a six. I fuck it, man.

It's Tourette that guy barely did it. He did it twice. I want to see it real shake up. Here we go. This is Amy Poehler in Douce Bigelow, Male Jiggalo. Okay. Hello. Is this real?

Yeah. I'll be right down. God damn it! Nice day, huh? Yeah. Shove it off your ass! Jeez! Wow.

Jeez. You okay? I'm sorry. I have Tourette's syndrome and it causes me to have these uncontrollable outbursts. It's not so bad. Yeah. It's okay. I mean, you get used to it.

Balls wet! Inus! Inus! Like you're... You know, there are some places I can't go nipple-biter! What are you talking about? Oh my God. I can't believe Rob Schneider.

And Rob Schneider seems like the guy who would try to bang out chicks with Tourette's or different syndromes and stuff. He's been in some dark stuff. I would give that one a lower one because that's like, I would give that more like a three or four. Okay. And why is that? One thing is, you know, I was aware that I was saying the bad word.

I would try to muffle it. Okay. You know? So I used to like add words even sometimes. Yeah. So if I was going to say the N word, sometimes I would add the word dad. Oh yeah. It's like, yeah, yeah.

And then it would... Yeah. You know, to try to muffle it where that one seemed... Or just start singing a rap song? Yeah. Or I would say like chinkopotamus or something like that. Well, a lot of times I would go, huh, hi, hi. Even if it wasn't a bad word, like if I felt the tick, hi, hi.

Oh, right on. Like you're doing magic. Yeah. Like you're introducing people to something. Hi there. Yeah. Wow.