This Past Weekend - This Past Thursday: 11-30-17 | This Past Weekend #56

Episode Date: November 30, 2017

Follow up to Monday's Episode. Callers respond to Adam's issues. https://www.livetree.com https://www.patreon.com/theovonSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, man, let's be young criminals, man. Let's be some young criminals. All right It's Thursday You hear that? Some kind of song before you masturbate at a junkyard or at like a recycling center, boy. Yeah, let's go! Yeah! Yeah, let's go! And I appreciate it. Thank you guys for being here today on Thursday. And it is November 30th the follow-up this week. I'm going to get right into it because I'm not playing.

You know what I'm saying? I'm not playing today. I got my weekend ahead of me. I'm headed to Calgary. I'm headed to Calgary, Canada tomorrow on a flight with three other comedians. We're going to go to Calgary. We're going to do a show at a place called Cowboys. And I have never been to Calgary. I're going to do a show at a place called Cowboys. And I have never been to Calgary.

I've been to Canada. And I've had some unique experiences up there. Got some severe food poisoning up there one time. And had to lay by a fireplace for a long time and get well. Very Native American experience up there. And sometimes I wonder what happened with the Native Americans that were in Canada. Because you always hear about how Native Americans got treated here in the U.S. and not well, might I add, if you miss those chapters in school. But the answer is not well there.

And then I start thinking, well, how did they get treated over there in Canada? You know, those kind of frost, They call them frostbacks. I think a lot of people up there. And I think, I don't know if that's a racial term or not. I hope it's not. But anyhow, man, thank you guys for joining me. I just got out of some yoga. So I'm feeling my spirit.

I'm feeling my spirit kind of living in the ends of my arms and legs. And look, I'll tell you this about yoga, man. I used to be anti-yoga. You know, I used to be anti-yoga. I'd go in there. People are sweating. You know, you can hear some ladies, they got their hoo-hahs dangling out. You know, people, some people's in the corner just kind of, you know, laying on the thing with like a little blanket over them and you know, they freaking tugging out, you know, You know they freaking petting that whistle, bro. But then you also have people that are in there that are really getting it done and getting their bones and joints in better condition.

And that's the kind of people that I was dealing with in there today, man. It's good, dude. Yoga, I'm starting to get into it. They have that Diamond Dallas Page yoga. I've never done it, but I hear that it's pretty cavalier. But I'm happy, man. I'm feeling good. I've never done it, but I hear that it's pretty cavalier. But I'm happy, man. I'm feeling good. I'm feeling lively.

You know, might have to go hit that gray block pizza over on Pico Boulevard. Roll up in there. You know, peaceful. Roll up in there. And namaste.

Let me get that hitter, huh? Let me get that gray block pizza. Fill my mouth. What's inside of your mouth right now probably air, maybe gum maybe your tongue imagine if your tongue was pizza

that's what can happen to you if you go to gray block pizza so you check it out when you're in Los Angeles G-R-E-Y-B-L-O-C-K-P-I-Z-Z-A dot com we're doing the follow up I want to get you guys immediately into the call that led to a lot of calls. We had a lot of people hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.

We're going to get into it. I want to put that call for you right now so you can hear what a lot of the calls were about. Here we go. Hey, what's up, Theo? My name is Adam. Hey, what's up, Theo? My name is Adam. And I've got a little question for you. Maybe get your thoughts on a little...

My wife, at about year two, informed me that watching pornography was akin to cheating. Year two. First of all, this dude... I mean, that's a wild way to put it, I guess, two but yeah so 700 days into the deal you know after having the cake and the big party with everyone and friends you know and love and family and getting those gifts and getting that money your wife says that porn is akin to cheating let's go and so so she requested that I stop watching that pornography. And so I did. But what she did for me was she allowed me to start filming us doing the nasty. That nasty, boy.

And you know what's interesting to me, Adam, is that nobody ever – it's never – doing the nasty. That nasty, boy. And you know what's interesting to me, Adam, is that nobody ever, it's never, I love how the nickname it is the nasty, you know? It's not that beautiful dance, you know? It used to be called humping. Sometimes they call it humping.

You know, if just a woman is just, you know, I guess kind of on her knees and you're just back there behind her, you know, that's humping. You know, if you, if just a woman is just, you know, I guess kind of on her knees and you're just back there behind her, you know, that's humping, you know, but the nasty. And if you've ever watched two people have sex, dude, it's kind of, it's pretty ridiculous, like not on pornography. Like on pornography, you're talking to the all stars, you know, these are the Shaquille O'Neal's of fucking on pornography on sexual you know these are you know these are your your your you know these are your your Neil Armstrong's of sex and of you know you know tits and butthole work and all of that everything they're doing these are connoisseurs you know these are this this is your salt bay of of uh of sexuality these people

on pornography somebody rolling into your bedroom or my bedroom seeing you know our hairy you know derrieres that hairy air but seeing our hairy derrieres or our you know our you know maybe a if i have an ink stain on my leg because a pen broke in my pocket at work and it's been there for seven months. I mean, we're not showing off the best case. We're not showing off the best elements and the best limbs and everything. So your trade-off, I mean, that's a beautiful trade-off. At least your wife gave you an option. She well if you can't do this i don't want

you doing this but you're allowed to film you and me being nasty let's hear more so anyway the dark arts part of this comes in with me um i kind of want to try something else, and I'm not sure on how she's going to take it, but I kind of want to film her banging somebody else. That may sound weird to some people. It may sound, you know, the jealous types, you know, they wouldn't get into something like that. But I've been thinking about it a lot man and you know even sometimes when my wife is doing nasty things to me i kind of in my head start thinking like i'm somebody else there you go so he really in his in adam's head it feels like

he is well let's see what some of you guys thought man because he's let his wife is saying i don't want you watching the pornography that's akin to cheating but you can film us having sex and now he wants to bring some other people into the bedroom you know he wants to bring i mean first of all you know the number one draft pick is probably going to be a brother and if you're going to bring a you know somebody going to come in there with a big instrument you over you know you could you in there with your little synthesizer and a brother shows up with a big bass drum, you know, I mean, maybe that's what you want to see though, you know. Or if you get, I mean, you could get 11 or 9 Asian dudes rolling up on your lady, you know,

hanging off over like one of those bicycles in the Guinness Book of World Records, you know. You might have 11 or 9, you know, 11 or 9 Asian dudes, you know, you might have 11 or nine, you know, 11 or nine Asian dudes, you know, some Viet or some lay oceans, you know, popping off, giving her that, uh, you know, that, um, what's it called when they prick your skin with all those needles at one time? Um, I don't know what it's called, man. Needle, needle work, you know, if they knitting, they doing all that knitting, boy, they, you know, those little bitty, you know, crazy hammers. You know, the specific hammers.

A lot of Asians, they come with that specific hammer. You know, almost like they got a, like they're sewing. You know, they got that little, they got that sewing machine weiner. But you get 11 of those, boy, you know, they got that sewing machine wiener. But you get 11 of those, boy, you know, you could call some arrhythmia or something on your old lady. But so that was Adam's call. And you guys got some great calls that came in. So let's pop into one of those right here. Hi, Theo.

This is Ashley. I'm calling from Tampa. Hey, Ashley, thank you for calling from Tampa. Tampa, bad zoning down there. You know, a lot of, I got accosted by a gay gangbanger down there one time. Dude tried to get me, honestly, to masturbate and give him my wallet. So that's, you know, it is what it is, but they got some unique zoning down there. You know, strip club right next to a place where you could get a boat or, you know, get an animal euthanized.

All types of stuff. Spanish moss, everything. Let's hear more. Thank you for calling, Ashley. I saw you for the first time a while back and I think that was the first time I ever laughed, cried at a comedy show. Well, I appreciate that.

Thank you for the compliment. One dude, one night at a show, he laughed so hard, he came out of the closet. You know, he was just like, I'm gay. And his buddies were like,

what the fuck, Gerald? You know? Calm down, bro. Have another beer. Get it together, bucko. Onward. I've become a big fan. I'm actually calling

in response to your is porn cheating question. And my short answer is no. However, I think that it can definitely be a huge issue in a relationship if the person has some sort of addiction, which I think that one of my ex-boyfriends had an addiction. which I think that one of my ex-boyfriends had an addiction. Yes. I mean, I don't know if one of your ex-boyfriends did have that, but I certainly have been there. That is a bad habit, and it's a dark – that's the dark arts, and that's where a lot of the dark arts even started for me was getting caught up in that and just feeling around. I used to blindfold myself

and, um, and pretend I didn't know where my penis was and then find my penis and then masturbate. So, you know, just cause you got to spice it up even when you're just masturbating, you got to spice it up, you know? Um, but yeah, for some people it's a bad habit. So you're saying no, Ashley. And it's nice to hear a woman's voice on this, I'll say that. There's something immediately, you know, takes it to another level when you got a woman talking about sexuality

and that, you know, right here in this conversation, in this, you know, in this vile little cauldron that we've created here to discuss this dirt topic, you know, onward. this dirt topic, you know, onward. It was to the point where he would rather lock himself in the bathroom and jerk off than have sex with me. Ooh, that's a little Silence of the Lambs-y, you know? He's in there petting that black sheep and you outside looking for some wool, you know? So, yeah, that's wild. I've never, you know, I mean, So, yeah, that's wild. I've never, you know.

I mean, honestly, I'll tell you this. I did have times where, man, I would, when I was seeing a gal, I would masturbate. Even when she and I were not having good sex. The sex was not, we were not even having sex at a time. And I would still be pleasuring myself. You know, so at that point, there is something going on on because, you know, this was a girl that I loved, you know, that I was in love with. And I don't know why I wouldn't, you know, exercise that sensuality with her. And instead, you know, you know, I'm out, you know, beating that thing like it's a bad school boy, you know, like it just failed the third grade.

You know, I don't know why I do that, why I did that or why someone does that. You know, you really got me thinking here now, Ashley. I think some of the reason was just I almost wonder if someone was out of a selfishness. Some of the reason was just, I almost wonder if some of it was out of a selfishness. Like if I don't, like the more I connect with this girl, the more in love, maybe I'll fall more in love. And maybe I'll get my feelings hurt. You know, whereas if I just pleasure myself, then I know I'm in control of everything. I'm in control of the situation.

Nobody can hurt me. I don't know. Interesting though. Let's hear more. Thank you for calling Ashley. So I feel like if that's where you're at and he's not willing to admit that it's an issue, then I think that's fair to say that, you know, he should obviously stop, but is it cheating? No. There you go. It's not cheating, she said, unless it's a bad habit. But I'm assuming his wife must have thought it was a bad habit if she told him to shut it down. We got some of the great calls that came in. Let's get right into it.

Yo, this is Rico calling from that New Hampshire. Rico, that hamp. That hamp city., that hamp. That hamp city. Hamp, hamp. Calling about the porn cheating. Hadn't considered it until Adam brought it up on the call where his wife called him out. But after thinking about it, I do think porn is cheating. I believe that I have been cheating on my girlfriend.

There are times where I will masturbate before seeing her because I don't want to engage in sexual activities with her. Wow. I mean, this is kind of part of what we were just talking about. Let's hear more. I'm interrupting you go ahead Adam sorry that's cheating that's cheating with your hand okay so you're saying that you even feel like that that's cheating

that if you're masturbating you know you dropping that ounce you know what I'm saying you know you you dropping that ounce, you know what I'm saying? You know, you working that water pole and you're keeping that away from your girlfriend, then that is cheating. I mean, that makes sense, you know, in a way like, yeah, I'm keeping this for me.

This isn't for you. I mean, that's the same thing cheating is. I'm putting this somewhere else. I'm keeping this for you. I mean, that's the same thing cheating is. I'm putting this somewhere else. I'm keeping this from you. I mean, there's definitely some synonymity there. Synonymity. Let's hear more. Like you said, it's only a once in a while thing.

But if you're doing it instead of giving love to your lady, then yeah, I would consider cheating. If you're doing it instead of giving love to your lady. And yeah, I mean, I wish, you know, and a caller hit this on the hotline. They said, well, why don't you have a therapist call in sometime or come in sometime and discuss some of these things with you. And that's something that I hope we'll be able to get into here in the new year. A couple more months here, we're going to try to, you know, maybe even get into a bigger studio where we can have more applicable space for a guest uh those are pipe dreams but those are real dreams and and some of that support comes from people supporting on patreon um from our charter sponsors stuff like

that so but that would be great to have a real therapist sitting in there and then we can try to gun down some of these issues you know walk through some of them whenever we're on a day like this where this is the kind of stuff that we're talking about. But if you're keeping it from your lady on purpose, there's something going on there, you know, because why wouldn't you

engage in that sex with somebody else? You know, there's also a thing with the man, like once you get close, it's like sometimes whenever you get, like a lot of my buddies are in, they're in relationships, marriages, but they have no sexual attraction to their partner. You know, it's real stuff out there, man.

People are really out in these skeet streets and dealing with this stuff. Next caller. Hey, Theo. This is Josh from Wisconsin. Oh, and thank you, Rico, for that call. Appreciate it. Josh from Wisconsin. Wisconsin is where they had the making of a murderer man.

And that Brendan Dassey, dude. Come on. Let that boy out. The best he's going to do is maybe get a job break and leave somewhere. Let that boy out, dude. Hadn't he been through enough? He had adult acne as a child. Let him out.

Onward. Love the podcast, man. i like everything you're doing with the dark arts and being that avenue for us uh he well i'm just out here in these i'm just i'm just a crossing guard man i'm a crossing guard who's jerking off on his lunch break you know what i'm saying i'm out here with you in these dark arts but onward heathens out here uh in response to adam uh the caller about porn. I don't think porn is cheating. I think as long as it's not something you do like on a daily basis and that's the only thing you lust for, I don't think it should be a problem.

But I think you can definitely watch too much of it to where, like you said, you lose that desire for your lady and putting up with all the, you know, normal relationship stuff doesn't seem worth it. If you're not after that lust, after that nut. Yeah, and he here talking, this young man talking about that nut. And that's the thing. Because here's the thing. If you ain't doing pleasure and you ain't, you know, old faithfuling, you know,

and you ain't being a human geyser, and you're just constantly treating yourself to free orgasms, you know, like you're the only person playing monopoly and you're just going around the board as many times as you want like a damn cheating dirt ball you know if you're not doing that i mean if you are doing that then yeah it's so i mean first of all you're doing your own thing so how a marriage is where you're supposed to put it together you know you're supposed to put them body parts together you know you're supposed to put the love because you're supposed to see a woman in the kitchen and want to um you know treat her to some of that uh that dna glue you know what i'm saying that that maker that baby maker you know and i'm and how semen is not on the periodic table of elements i will

never understand i will never understand um salt is on there sodium chloride dude salt is gonna spruce up a steak maybe and some maybe some tighten up some broccoli but you want to start a family you need semen dude salt ain't gonna get you anything you throw salt in a woman's vagina dude dude, they're going to get pissed. And that's no children, just anger. And that's the truth. But let's hear a little bit more. But yeah, if you're spraying that, if you're giving that away all the time to whatever,

to a screen on your computer, to the sink, to whatever, to the shower drain, then you're not saving that for you. That attraction is not going to be there. Your chi is going to be dissolved for your spouse. Let's hear more. So there's that. Interesting thought here, though. Do you think his lack of watching porn now and not having that avenue to express his sexuality,

do you think that that led to his desire to share his woman? Also, I couldn't do it. I'm way too jealous for that. Wow, that's a really interesting thought. So the fact that he couldn't watch porn anymore, but he had been watching a lot of it, now he needs to see porn. I mean, his wife said she was okay with him filming them, but that's like watching the same porn over and over again.

Now he wants to see somebody else on the screen, you know? Now he doesn't want to just be at Butterthighs.com. He wants to go to Silver Foxes and Silver Crotches. He wants to go to BlackSuperstars.net. Silver crotches. You know, he want to go to blacksuperstars.net. You know? He want to see some brothers throwing that javelin with the sneakers on.

A couple brothers in New Balance going to town. You know? On Little Red Riding Cot. You know, he wants to see that. You know, he want to see them aerialists. You know, sometimes you can get on some of those websites and have a Chinese man or a vietnamese fella or you know just a a small italian and they'll come whipping off those um those uh you know those aerialist things that they have the trapeze and land in a crotch like that and try to do no splash you know or no you know try not to wake the lady who's sleeping there with her legs open or whatever the gist is of the pornography.

But so this caller is saying that. Do you think that by stopping one, but already being fused with it in his brain, that Adam now still wants to see porn, but the only way he can see it is by making it on his own? Wow, this is almost like a script for like a murder or something. It could be. Our psyche is like a chef that don't want to go to the grocery sometimes.

Our psyche will just use what's in the cupboard. Oh, if I got this already and I got this. That's why sometimes you have to go to therapy and you have to go to some of these things. You have to talk to people. You have to let it out. You know, you have to let these ghosts out of your soul. You know, out of your soul cave. Because if you don't, then the chef and your psyche will just use the same ingredients.

It'll repackage them. So now, and look, man, it can make a nastier recipe. Before you're just watching other people have sex on the screen. Next thing you know, you're spending $2,000 on cameras and lights. And your wife's getting, you know, chirped up by some bad birds that are flying in. You know, people flying in on Southwest to bang your wife. Man, what is going on? All right.

You know what movie I watched the other night it was uh horseman on netflix and dennis quaid is in the movie and i like dennis quaid because i interviewed him one time on our allegedly podcast and he brought some tequila to to myself and my co-host and he got in a fight with a parking attendant afterwards downstairs. And I thought that was pretty interesting. I didn't get the statement from the parking attendant but Dennis Quaid was just kind of TO'd and whatever. Who knows. But I thought it was pretty cool. And while we

were talking I told him that my favorite Dennis Quaid movie ever was this movie called Frequency. And he told me that hisaid movie ever was this movie called Frequency. And he told me that his favorite movie he ever did was called Frequency. So I always respected that. But I watched Horseman the other night on Netflix.

If you haven't seen it, don't. It's horrible. It's a bad movie. It's about like, I don't know, it's supposed to be about serial killers. It got four stars on Netflix, which means nothing. And we have no clue how they give them these stars or whatever. But it was absolutely bad. And the problem is with a lot of films you go see, they're bad.

Murder on the Orient Express. Beautiful looking, nice train. But you know what? I'm not paying 25 bucks to go see a train. You know? Like I'll go on an actual train. I'll get on Amtrak and see a real murder for probably the same price,

but at least I get to travel across the country halfway. And the problem is with the film industry these days, it's that it's just built in such a way that it stifles creativity. You know, they deliver bad content. You know, there's just a few actors and a few people that keep getting the same jobs over and over again because they monopolized the industry. You know, there's only three or four studios that are even making anything.

You have to go through Seth Rogen. You have to have The Rock in any movie. You know, these companies know that if they make a movie that costs $100 million and that The Rock is in it, they're going to make $120 million after. So they make $20 million profit and that's enough for them. They know that they can just use

that cookie cutter format every time. But the problem is we get bad content until now. Now there's a new program. It's called LiveTree. LiveTree.com. You can go to it right now. And it's basically a network that's going to allow us, the consumer, to invest in projects and we will own part of

the project. So we get to kind of pick what will be created. Imagine like fantasy football, basically, where you get to put the players in, right? You will help choose the actors. You will help fund the projects, but you will have an ownership. You will have a stake. You will have a share. Imagine that. It's basically like create your own pizza, but it's for film and television. And that's what's going on now. And it's amazing. It's a way that the industry can change. Go to livetree.com. Check out how you can get involved. This is the time to get involved. It's like, say, if I told you five years ago,

you can invest in Netflix now. That's what's going on. LiveTree.com. You want to check that out. I promise. All right, let's go to our next caller here. This caller is from Huntsville, Alabama, where I was just a few weeks ago.

And I appreciate you calling. Here we go. What's up, Dale? This is Lee calling about if pornography and viewing is cheating or not. Thank you for calling, young bucko. Let's hear more of your words. I think you said it best, man. If it's a habit that you're setting aside time for on a regular basis, then yeah, I believe it's cheating.

I've been with my wife for about five years and anytime I got into the habit of watching porn, it always took the excitement of having sex with my wife away. A hundred percent. You know, if you got that gusto headed towards your lady and you sprang in that gusto out in the yard or pulling up there by the Winn-Dixie and masturbating or whatever, then of course, lady and you sprang in that gusto out in the yard or pulling up there by the Winn-Dixie and

masturbating or whatever, then of course, you're not going to bring that same gusto into the household, you know, and I feel you, man, you know, and it's wild out there. If you have it in your planner, first of all, if you have it in your planner, you know, breakfast, gym, jerk off, you know, that kind of stuff, then you gotta, then that's definitely not good. So I feel you there. Let's hear some more. Thank you for calling. And I wonder if Adam's fantasy of watching his wife getting nailed by another man

actually stems from watching porn. I don't have any experience with the whole cooking situation. And cooking, he's talking about cooking, and that's the thing where you, you know, you have, you know, it's basically tag team, where you you know you have um you know um it's basically tag team where you tag in somebody else and they come in and you know put your wife's vagina into a figure four leg lock onward but i would think that being married for only five years that it may be a little too early to start making those kind of

requests in the bedroom and if it was my wife i know it would kind of freak her out she'd feel like she didn't know who i was like i wasn't the man she married and that's a good point you know if all of yeah you can't surprise you can't be like hey you know i got a new sex toy to your wife and then you crack oh you know she's like well what is it and she's looking in the drawers and then you next thing you know you know she's looking in the bedside table the next thing you open the closet door and it's big ralph you know or it's thick hank you know rocking out you know you can't that's you know all of a sudden you're a conductor you're not even a participant in y'all's relationship you're more of a conductor at that point you know you're just fueling up that, you know, you fueling up Ralph or Hank.

If you getting them Gatorades or anything while they're doing activity. You know, so you got to think about some of that. And yeah, maybe you've evolved into some other type of deal, brother. You know, Adam, our original caller. Maybe you've evolved or devolved, however you want to look at it. You know, your tastes have changed. But that might not be what your wife signed up for. You know?

I mean, these are just thoughts, brother. Let's hear some more. Another caller. Here we go. Hey, Dave. It's Bob. Long time listener. Big Bob.

Dude, I'll tell you this, man. They had a guy in my town named Big Bobby Bobbertson, right? Bobby Bobbertson. And this boy was big. He might be deceased now. Bless him. Beautiful guy, but he was so big that you, you don't want him to fall on anything sharp because he would just pop. You know what I'm saying? You don't want him to fall on a nail or anything. He would just explode. He was that big. Just pressure. You could see the, his insides were just pressed up against his skin you know he couldn't i mean he there was just nothing there was no room for anything you know his eyes he looked like he was just trapped his eyes look

like they were just two balls that were trapped in his head um but he uh used to he eventually actually kidnapped somebody and got busted for pistol whipping some young fella. But before that, he was an attendant at a gas station, 24-hour gas station. We could get gas and different delectables, mostly fatty delectables like rotisserie hot dogs and cheese dips and chips, Slim Jims, Gobstoppers, Icy's, Freezy's, snack cakes, different things like that. Sometimes milk, but the milk would only last for a few days or maybe 24 hours. You know what I'm talking about, gas station milk. A gas station, you know what I'm talking about. Well, he worked there and he used to let uh he used to let

us go sit in there during high school we put lawn chairs in there by the liquor by the beer cooler and just drink beers back there and just sit in there like have a little powwow right back in the by the beer coolers there in the beautifully lit uh gas station i think it was called an am pm but anyhow big bobby bobbertson but nice to hear you Bob let's go question about Adam was raising his porn is cheating you know I just got man I've been I've been married for quite a while now almost 15 years and whoo that big kink say more and you know I man I've been beating my meat since the day I can remember. And, you know, ain't nothing wrong with, you know, getting your hands on yourself

and staying in touch with yourself and, you know, just being one with yourself. Oh, yeah, G-ing up. Sometimes you got to drink a Red Bull and just jerk off, you know, and get out there an outdoorsman. Let's hear more. You know, men have beaten off forever. They're going to continue beating off. I don't know about that.

Will people, you know, 300 years from now, will men still be masturbating? Who knows, brother. That's a big speculation. Onward. You know, porn is just a way to, you know, get that energy out, you know. And, I mean, I feel like if you take that away from a man, then, you know, porn is just a way to, you know, get that energy out, you know. And, I mean, I feel like if you take that away from a man, then, you know, who knows where that energy is going to be directed to. You know, for all I know, you take away my porn, you're taking away my biscuits and gravy, my freedom. You know, you're taking away everything.

Now, you heard it. You're taking away everything. If you take away that man's pornography, then what's next? You're man's pornography then what's next you're going to take away his guns you're going to take away his pudding pops you're going to take away his ability to buy gasoline you know where does it stop so yeah i mean you're saying men need it that it's okay and look for most men it is but this lady don't want this man having it in the household he don't want it to be a part of their relationship because it affects it. But for you, it doesn't. Some men, I think it's an unhealthy scenario. And in his situation right there, it's not.

So Bob right there is not affected. That's what's referred to by many Bob as being unaffected. You're unaffected by it. Let's hear a little bit more here. How's it going, Theo? It's Mason from Boston, Massachusetts. Boston.

Yep. And I'm calling the regards to that fella who was talking about filming his wife and another man having sex. I got to say to him, I don't think that's right at all. She says that him watching porn is cheating cheating but then he wants her to fuck another guy and that's okay i don't know brother i don't know about that that seems like the dark arts to me more than anything oh yeah well it's definitely the dark arts that's why we're discussing it here there's no doubt about it you know the man you know she said no to that he's thinking about introducing it you know i mean he's got an infection he's got that

itch to see that visual you know he's got that itch that's what i think but these are you guys's thoughts and that's why we have this follow-up episode let's check in a little more here we go hi theo i'm calling from miami florida um oh mommy from miami papayas um this is in response to the guy that wanted to bring another guy in to be with his wife. Yes. And film it. As somebody who's married, I don't think that porn's cheating, even though I did think that at first. I'm totally over that, and I just don't find it cheating. Okay, so you don't

find it cheating. And this is from a lady who is married here, Gashy, giving her throwing in her four cents. Let's hear more. However, I would say that about the whole bringing the guy into the bedroom. I think he should maybe reconsider that or really analyze whether he whether he really wants to bring another guy in or if he's just tired of watching himself in the videos that he's making at home because if that's the case then maybe he should just talk to his wife about the whole porn situation um i don't know i just feel like yeah look and i'm just gonna cut you off there but that's a great point maybe maybe you're just tired of watching yourself adam you know maybe you need to spruce yourself up you know instead of bringing another man in why don't you maybe do a disguise maybe paint your legs dark

you know why don't you you know i know you know people don't want to you know doing blackface and stuff like that it's you know it's you know it's um people think some people think it's ridiculous to do it if you're especially if you're being racially insensitive. Of course, anything is. But if you paint your body full body or put some skin toner on to darken up a little bit, maybe do that. And then be in the videos. Then you can be that kind of, you know, you can be that urban gentleman. Or put some, get a tattoo, or wear some wings or something. You can be that kind of, you know, you can be that urban gentleman, you know, or put some, get a tattoo, get some, or wear some wings or something. You can be that nightingale, you know, or if you wear a Mexican hat, you know, there's different stuff you can do.

You know, you can grow some of your body hair out and be a Russian or be Italian. You know, you can, you know, you can do, get Yiddish, you you know, you can get Yiddish. You know, do something, get Yiddish, man. Eat some bad food and then bang a little or something, you know. I mean, there's definitely different things you can do. So I think maybe that's another thing you might want to spruce up. Or just hire a better

editor. Maybe that'll make the stuff you guys are filming more exciting. But I appreciate your call, young lady. That's a good idea. Let's hear some more. Here we go. Yo, what up, Theo? This is your boy Luke from California. You've been doing some things that have been going on

in my life. I've been a victim of the dark arts. We all have been, sir. These last couple years, I'm married. I have a kid, you know, and I love my wife. I love my kids and my kid. I'm going to save that call, actually.

I'm going to save that call for Sunday. I'm going to save that call for the Monday episode, Luke, if you don't mind, man. I think it just, I'd like to get into that a little bit more, and it seems like it fits a little bit better for then, so we'll check in on that Monday. But let's check one more them. So we'll check in on that Monday. But here's, let's check one more caller here that we had come in

talking about this pornography. Is it cheating? Is it not cheating? And what it looks like bringing somebody else in your own homestead there, you know, for sensual play

and for, you know, body joy. Hey, this is Punk Ass from Baltimore. Punk Ass from Baltimore. Punk Ass from Baltimore. And Baltimore is a place where if you have some spare dope and you don't feel like doing it where you live, you can drive to Baltimore and do it.

Nobody probably will notice. Baltimore, good place to get crabbed and murdered. Let's hear more. Calling in about, is porn cheating? Hell no, porn is not cheating. Now this fella sound like somebody that, you know, familiar with his own body. You know what I'm talking about. And I get the other side.

I've been to church meetings and things trying to convince me and show me that porn is cheating. And I get it. Oh, indeed. The Lord will try to keep you off your own meat. You know? He didn't build you and make you into this special creature for you to be, you know, you know, you know, fucking your own hand out there in the yard, Moore. I probably do agree that if you're living in a fantasy world,

that can't be good for the intimacy of a marriage. But I just think calling it cheating is just not a good way to help. It's just labeling people something that they're not, that the rest of the world hates, just to try and be more dramatic. And that's a good point. If you call it cheating,

then it's this whole other thing. Then it's, yeah, is it cheating? Great point. Is it cheating? Or is it just, this is how he's getting his jollies? You know?

He don't want to eat sugar at the house. He's popping his little jelly beans on the side. You know? That's what's going on really here. You know? So let's hear that one more time. That's a really good point. If you're living in a fantasy world that

can't be good for the intimacy of a marriage that's true if you know if that if your relationship is there with that screen then how realistic is your relationship uh in in physical form with your spouse but i just think calling it cheating is just not a good way to help it's just labeling people something that they're not that the rest of the world hates, just to try and be more dramatic. It really, I just think there should be another word for it. Like, it reminds me when I'm watching the news. Yeah, that's true. There should be another word for it, you know? You know, yeah. What's that another word?

you know, yeah, what's that another word? You know, if you're doing, if you're being like that, you know, if you're patty caking,

you know, but only using one hand and your other hand is a wiener and it's your own wiener. That's a lot of questions there. But yeah, by calling it cheating, do we just label it?

Are we making it scarier? You know, then you're in a whole different situation instead of just being, you know, hey, my husband's behaving like this. He's doing this. He's doing these activities. He's doing that one-handed patty cake. Other hand, wiener.

So let's hear the rest of this. And there's a fire in the background. I started a fire. Like a safe fire for joy it reminds me when I'm watching the news when I'm watching the news and there's a story about a little girl who's been kidnapped

and then you sit down and watch for 10 minutes and the kidnapper is her father and we're not even sure if he's dangerous it just seems like just a way to get attention to something you don't like by trying to make a big deal about it and i know the kidnapping thing is much more serious but i i've always thought that there should be another word for that yeah no and i get your point a lot of times yeah you get all these amber alerts six seven times a night and it's just some child's

real father trying to spend some time with them you know because there's some bullshit going on with the courts or it's a real mother just trying to, you know, finally get their kid back from an evil grandparent. I agree. It's a lot of clickbait out there. And it makes me wonder too, maybe even with Adam's call, was he, was he framing it up? Is he just trying to, you know, you know, how realistic is he being with us? You know, is he just taking us on a wild goose chase? Making him think that he's caught up in this wild universe.

You know, with these, you know, does his wife really think it's cheating? But then he's bringing this in. It sounds like he's not. I think, you know, if we had to come to some overall conclusion, it sounds like Adam's just not making some good choices. You know, he's choosing this and he's going to get caught up. And what happens after that? You know, where does that end? I mean, that's, you know, that's one of my biggest things really is, is where does that end? You know? All right, let's get to one more here.

Hey Theo, my name is Gina and I'm a first time caller. Thanks for calling Gina. That's my mother's name. You know, and that's a beautiful name. I don't know. I'm going to look up right now what it means. I feel kind of sad that I don't even know what Gina means. Meaning of Gina. It's an English name. A baby name. Eugenia, Regina, Gina. Gina Lollobrigata. That was a famous Italian, I guess.

Gina's made great actors or singers. My mother could not do either of those. And some of them just can be good writers, it says. It's an English baby name. That's all it says. Anyhow, we learned that that that your name doesn't really mean much but that doesn't mean that it doesn't mean that you don't mean something to us let's hear a little bit more from eugenia thanks for calling i want to comment on adam's cuck

holding issue um we'll be like that boo-boo and get that comment out adam your cuck holding situation man i'm nervous for that conversation I just don't see it going well. I don't see your wife being open to that. I can't imagine it. But I do wish you luck with that. And, Theo, I do want to say how much we appreciate you, man. I do love listening to you. You make me laugh so hard.

And when you say at the end of most of your episodes to be good to yourself because we probably deserve it, man, that's some of the nicest shit anybody says to me all week. And I hope you're good to yourself, too, because I know you deserve it because we appreciate getting to laugh. Oh, that's nice of you to say, Gina. I appreciate that. Man, that really resonates with me more than hearing my own mother talk to me some. You know, I don't know why. It's crazy sometimes how we can hear a stranger's voice better than we can hear some of the voices that are closest to us.

I don't know what that is. I don't know what that is. But thanks, Gina. Yeah. What's he getting into? How deep is it going to go? You know? Adam, these women are worried for you. what's he getting into? How deep is it going to go? You know?

Adam, these women are worried for you. They sound like everybody's a little bit worried for you. How does this end? Are you getting caught up in these dark arts? How deep are you going to go, cat daddy? Alright, let's take one more call here and see what we can get. Caller. Hey, Vio.

It's Becca from Southern California. becca thank you for calling um i'm calling as a divorced woman of eight years in response to adam's call um dude i had to pause your your little because that comment, that call was so creepy that I just, I had to like take a breath and find my cell phone and be like, dude, I got to call that hotline. I don't make these calls. You got to hit that hotline when things get squirrely. You know, when suddenly you feel like an oak tree because you got squirrels running through your body. That's when you need to hit the hotline. [phone]. Give me more, Becca.

Let me get that hit up. Anyway, so Adam, you are embarking on a very dangerous path. on a very dangerous path and you'll probably like in six months be dead because like this is the beginning of like how murder mysteries start bro like it all started when adam said hey i want you to you know have sex with my friend mike steve it's always steve isn't it? It's all even in hypothetical scenarios. Steve being nasty. Yes, more? Then Steve and Adam's wife had a thing on the side where she was like, oh, no, I don't like Steve, but she did like Steve.

And then like, oh, Adam's got like life insurance. And now, bro, you just cut yourself out of the equation. Yep, right there. You hear, Adam, you might be on your way to a Dateline episode. A-D-A-M-D-E-A-D. Adam Hardy has two of the same letters as dead. Two of the same letters. So, you're close. Let's hear more.

So, I don't know. What is wrong with you maybe you should just be happy with it you're getting laid I don't know and there you go that that might be the general consensus right there that might be the general consensus from all of us all right I want to thank you guys for calling in. I'm tired. It's late. I'm going to get out of here.

But I will. I'll be back on Monday. And we already had some really good callers with some really good stuff. To go over on Monday. I'll update you guys. I'm headed to Calgary, Canada tomorrow. So I'm keyed up, you know. Get up there. Visit them Canadians.

And look them in the eye. And just let them know that we're doing okay down here that we're down here battling these dark arts uh thank you to our lovely female listeners that called in um and i'll see you guys next time be good to yourselves because you know why you probably deserve it. Good luck, Adam. You're going to need it, Adam. You're going to need it, dude. Fucking with fire, boy. You know what they say. If you fuck with fire, boy,

you lose your eyebrows, son. You might even lose a family member. Praise God, baby. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner. The answer may shock you. Sometimes I'll interview my friends. Sometimes I won't. Sometimes I'll interview my friends. Sometimes I won't. And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

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