Three Bean Salad - Orange

Episode Date: September 20, 2023

The topic of orange is wmg’s gift to the beans this week and you can bet your bottom dollar the beans don’t just squeeze every last drop of chat juice out of it. No siree! They candy the peel, compost the pith and pulverise the pips to extract linoleic acid which could be used in the production of organic varnishes for example (metaphorically).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladGet in touch: [e-mail] @beansaladpod

What's happened is? What's happened? Well, this podcast started off as chat that we would do before or writing sessions, in a way. No, it didn't. I'm on lecture mode, Ben. It's not really, this isn't really an interactive bit of chat. You're joking. I was joking the origin story. Because people want to know, how did it... People want to know, wow, did it start?

How did it start? I'm myth making, that's what I'm doing. Okay, okay, okay. So the mythos behind, behind the hybrids out of podcast is, are you gonna talk about when you discover BP in a five-eighth line, low? That's right. Yeah. Ragged.

He was hiding underneath a wicker carpet, a wicker or a wicker section of flooring. It was very similar to that scene in Star Wars, where they're hiding under the floor of the landing falcon, but everything's made of wicker. Is that how you imagine a favela to be? Or rather, favela, it's not even favela, I think it's favela. I do know a strong mental picture of any of these things,

so what I tend to do in any situation where I don't know a strong mental picture of it is I'll have to land the landing falcon because I feel like I'm roughly no more around that. Made of wicker. But it's possible that you're mixing up a favela and the inside of a conservatory and sorry. That's possible as well. Yeah. There's another thing that I haven't got a strong mental picture of so again I'll be getting up again with the Millennium Falcon but this time we're made of glass. And that'll be

within the one made of wicker. And in your mental victim, an Indian falcon that you draw every time you don't have a strong mental picture of what you're talking about. Yep. Is it too back of there? Um, yeah, well, yeah, we, he is, he's hiding. Right.

Okay, okay. Well, because of the, because the hiding, yeah, that little hiding underground, hiding bit is pivotal, it seems. That's the sort of jumping off point at the underground hiding bit. One of my earliest disappointments in life, I was given the Millennium Falcon Christmas, the toy of the Millennium Falcon for Christmas, not the actual Millennium Falcon. And it was basically one of the greatest moments of my life, of course.

And it was absolutely incredible. It was an incredible moment. You were 20 well at the time, so. life, of course. And it was absolutely incredible. It was an incredible moment. You were 21 at the time, so... Hey! Hey! Come on. Oh, yeah. Very nice.

You, my humour, humour, humour. Really great. There's nothing to add to it, really. I think that's what I was. I think we can say that was three being salad podcasts. So you're next to it. So we're going to have to do it all. Yeah. Because that was sense fucking sational.

Captain Print. I was literally in my head thinking, should I resist saying that? Like, it's not a great thing to say, is there? Is there for me to say? It's always available, isn't it? But in the past when you would have had that and you would have said, should I resist

and you will have been able to resist? I know what's happened. That's key, that's the pivotal detail here. You've waited up in your head and you thought, do you know what? I don't know, I don't do it. There's no way, seasons one through nine, you would have resisted that. I think you've crossed a rhubicon. Developmentally, yeah.

It's the slow rot. It's the slow rot. Yeah, so why is that? Does that tell me that one day I will be a father? It's hard to interpret isn't it? There's a lot. The only thing it brings to mind for me is the release of the the latest, well the announcement recently of a new studio album by Rolling Stones. It feels like a similar moment. Okay. How'd you mean? That's the one where I've just taken the plunge and I'm thought, I'm going to have to work this one out. I'm going to have to retrofit the actual point I'm making here.

Are you saying the running scenes should have resisted making new album, but they just couldn't help themselves? But ultimately it's to the benefit of nobody. Again, season 1 through 9, and if I haven't answered you do that, but right now, the sticks don't feel high enough for me to make the mental effort to actually answer it. Just put it going, we are dancing around something at the moment actually. Yeah, there's something in the air isn't there? It's over 27 degrees. Yeah, thank you.

And I think the audience would have already picked up on that. That's the reason I made that little joke. Yeah. That's the reason my Henry can't think of anything to say. Yeah. We're working in conditions under which we should not even be working. If we were unionized, there's no way we'd be.

No. I mean, Mike would still be turning up. We'd be shanning scab at him. Down. Ruinly. We'd guys look at this. So I've got a little thermometer on my desk. Yeah.

64. That's the percent to your energy. We guys look at this, so I've got a little thermometer on my desk. Yeah. 64. That's the percent to you in a city. Fucking out is that 65. Is that your internal organs age? That's gone up by one, then. It's gone up again, you're out. Then you're 66.

Did you make that joke, I mean, did that for age your organs, that joke, or did you make that joke because of the age of your organs? Which way around is it? Your organs have got wind of it. They're trying to catch up. They're trying to catch up with your joke age. You're just going to be 67.

We've got a joke age of 67 now. Now, those are the... I heard something recently. I'm 68, right now you're going to die on air. It's time before we hit the emails. This is amazing broadcast. This is incredible. It also has just hit 27 degrees as you'll see. So we have to turn off the recording now.

Your body ages gone to 16. It's gone to 17. We didn't even know at times. I guess 69, Jake, we didn't even have time. It's just a few or anything. So, if you see what? It's just a bit of a gap. It's just a bit of a picture for the listener.

Just so you know what's going on, I've got a temperature gauge and it's also got a humidity gauge on it. Oh, so the humidity was going up? Yeah. But it's going up steadily. It's gonna be over a hundred soon and then what? Also Ben, I've got nature's humidity gauge, by the way.

That's hair, isn't it? But you're quite poorly set up for that. God, again, you wouldn't have made a baldness joke. Like, once in a nine, you would be slightly off the link, baldness. Not this early in the episode. Not. It might have been a sort of 40 minute lag time, maybe. That's what those bald comments come at.

Which has been, which is the shyness of your face, which is, it's a bit like an eclipse. Your face is not in any other way, but it's a bit like the moon right now, in the sense that, just in the sense that it's got shadow over half. Covered, yeah. We've all got that thing.

Ben's complexion is very much, man who was strangled 36 to 48 hours ago. That's right. We're all up, but non-facely. We're afraid, Lee. That's right. Sort of waxy, sort of leaning in this casket type thing. And also, the body after death will continue making jokes about Baldur's,

and he will continue to claim it. There are certain reflex jokes that you don't need to have brain life to actually do. That's what she said. And so on, that kind of thing. Yeah. As the actress said to the bishop, Oh, the classics. It is, it's like your face is about a sundial or a humidity dial.

Because the humidity reflects, obviously moisture reflects light more rapidly than dry. Is there any Latin inscriptions on his face? We should check. I think there's some Latin, rather ribbons that Latin graffiti. On his left side of his chin. My face is very clammy at the moment.

It's credibly clammy. And the clammy's just going up, and the shine is getting brighter as it's the white shine. Oh, wow. I also know my glasses are steaming up. Yeah, I've just literally just lied. I know you're only on your left.

It's just now, you're left glasses are steaming up. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's... It's moving across your face right to the left. Your left specs have just completely steamed up. I have quite a matte finish, weirdly. You do, I don't know how you achieve that. It might be a setting on my Mac. Whereas I've got almost no shine at all. I'm weirdly credibly flat like a black hole. There's no light as kind of going in or escaping my face, it would seem. It's like looking at a map of a bit of the universe that hasn't been discovered or something. Do you know there's no, there's no data. Of course they normally mark with puse don't they?

You know that's what it's been. This level of puse. It's what is like Henry's like perfect, it's like sort of what's the word like two perfect ham. A perfect ham, a perfect ham. Yes, yeah is a breakfast ham, yes. A ham which is like, there should be some sort of marbling or something to cut around, but there isn't. Exactly. It's two process. In one of those fast food ham, Spanish ham joints, there'd be a photo of some ham over this above the tail.

You'd know the ham's not going to look like it. No, but I'd say you wouldn't want the ham to look like that, Henry. You would ideal ham by any means. That's ham that's been created into a loaf of some sort. Is that the kind of hand which, if you came across it on a breakfast buffet and hold it, you'd end up staring at it. You'd stare at it, you'd stare at it,

and you'd sort of feel like you're falling into it. And then put it on your forehead and claim it was your complexion. Yeah, which is what's happened today, right? This has taken 10 years off my dating profile aid. So soon I'm leaving you. Oh, maybe it's a setting on my computer. Oh, I think that's what happened. And then you'd end up dating

a Spanish waitress from the hotel. Conchita. Conchita. You'd end up going on a tour of Ham Towers, the ham, or the ham ancestral home from her forefather's, which is an organ her family, but you can still visit. From the national, well, the ham, El trustio del ham, the Spanish equivalent of the national trust, you've gone a tour of that. In the attic, you'd come across a box where you'd sneak into the attic. Boxer dry pegs. From the attic, you'd come up with a box where you'd sneak into the attic. Boxer dry pigs. From the attic? It was a boxer dry pig. You'd try to clench, you'd hold on to one of them. It would burst into just, into, to pig powder or ham powder in your hands, but inside it would be a bunch of letters written on ham from during the Spanish Civil War, which would

reveal that concedera actually still does have a claim on the house. So you chuckle the vizis out and you and Conchita now, the seren madden of Hamtowers, which you turn into a, well you turn it back into a, well you give it back to the National Ham Trust. Because it's very expensive to maintain. Especially the way it is to salary.

But in the mean way, we throw it everyone out, you demolish the coffee shop, because they don't have to read completely wreck the coffee shop. Yeah. Yeah. And you've just had time to replace all the ham tapestries with a massive widescreen, Tally. LAUGHTER

See, basically, slightly ruined it. Conchita falls out with you. The slice of ham one day falls off your forehead, revealing your real complexion. Yeah, and it hasn't been improved by the having ham stuck to it for a decade. And then what happens is, conchita's brother comes in and you knew this was coming.

Conchita, conchita comes in. Like most Spanish brothers, 70% of his life is spent sort of avenging his sister. Avenging sisters. And repairing on us, sort of doing so on sister, avenging sisters, and repairing on those sort of doings on the based sister reparation work. He's starting slapping you, slapping you hard. So you should see what loads of sisters,

so it's taking them all to get around you. Anyway, slapping you, slapping you, slapping you, slapping you, slapping, slapping, slapping, slapping, slapping, slapping, slapping, and then slapping, slapping, slapping, and then Henry, Henry, Henry, Henry, Henry, he's been staring at that hand for five minutes. And all that's happened is you've been staring,

you're still in the breakfast buffet. So who's slapping you? No. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Concealer. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. I was just, where one? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

She was, get married. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Was it Ham Towers? And he was trapped in a hammock. He trapped in a hammock. But is that, is that sort of complexion, isn't it? Yes, both, yeah. I think it's a bit more pate than how much

you know I like it. It's got the element of gray in it, you know, because that's good I said that earlier. Mike's complexion, can I say? Yeah. He is. Why is he, he's just gone a bit out of focus, doesn't he, when I said that?

Right. Is it a defense setting? It's a save blushes setting. Is it the save blushes setting? Mike's looking quite pink. I feel quite pink. Is it a bit, but it's a healthy pink. No, it's a, it's a, it's a,

I forgot sunscreen. Is it? Is it for the sun? I don't know that he's a 27 degrees pink. It's what I am, I think. It's very airless. Do you have classic British man reaction to excessive heat mic, which is patchy,

patchy pink botches, or have your body here. And random sweat patches. So say, I've seen this on a show, I said random. Yeah, well, I'm genetically, technically speaking, I'm a build of polish and and Welsh. So I mean, my suitability for the sun is absolutely zero. Zero. Can't cope with it at all. The two, two of the pinkest. Yeah, come out of it looking like a slapped up rhubarb, basically. I mean, my suitability for the sun is absolutely zero. Zero. Can't cope with it at all. The two, two of the pinkest. Yeah, come out of it looking like a slapped up rhubarb. Basically, very quickly.

Very quickly. Bad business. Is the shame we'll never see bronze beans? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I need a three bus, I'll really be bronzed. Surely you could bronze, can you? I can't bronze. I've never seen you bronze.

I can't bronze. I've got Turkish heritage.. I can't bronze. I've got Turkish heritage. Yeah. But there is a, there is a pale, you have a fairtourk. There are fairtourks. But there is, yeah, I think I must have fairtourk lineage. Because I cannot town.

In the same way that kind of Boris Johnson is Turkish. Yeah, I know. He's very famous. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, which couple of them, yeah, any other sort of. Yeah, sorry to the example to reach for for yeah, what were we talking about are you or me? I'm Falcon toy and then I made an absolute podcast kidding little quip I'm sorry. I made it. I won't say anything else for the rest of the episode. Yeah, I think it's probably safest

No, well, I was it was a chat strand within a chat tenderl There was an off-shoots from a chat side growth, to be honest. But what's the trunk of this? Well, the trunk is what we're all trying to find, isn't it? I think it's all a trunk. It's a Ring 1. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the first ring. Are you trying to make some myths, right?

You and with making about the podcast. First of all, I better do quickly do the Millennium Falcon thing, which is just, I've raised its head I Was given the Millennium Falcon toy it was one of the greatest memes of my life. I could see reaching out ahead of me You know a good half decade of joy Contenny was 71 of joy. Continue with 71. Okay. Well, half a fuck's eight. Okay.

Okay. It's not Ben's fault. His internal humanity is up to 98%. Well, you said half decade didn't you, rather than half century. He's a real lurch. He said half decade. Yeah, yeah, you made a massive lurch in terms of. So I should have said into the 26. Yeah, yeah, sorry, I'm not, I'm sorry, again,

not you're even doing the dad joke wrong. Oh, and which I think is a sign that it's not all your unfold. I think. Yeah, no, Ben's not even fold himself. Well, they're good news. My internal organs have come down to the age of 62. I've got you any 60 to internally. You know, we do all have an internal body age. But it's different from external body age. Henry's beef cake journey. Okay, well, that's another thing we need to get back to. Yeah. Well, the main falcon moment was just, I was giving the main falcon toy.

Great toy. You lift the lid off and you can see the internal structure of the main falcon. Yeah. Which is just one big room essentially name Falcon toy. Great toy. You lift the lid off, and you can see the internal structure of the menu Falcon. Yeah, which is just one big room essentially in the toy. It's the L-shaped sitting room of space, isn't it? Basically. But it's horseshoe shaped. That's right, are you right? Which they've done,

and essentially they've knocked it through to make it seem more roomy, and it really works. Okay. Because that's what I'm saying. And also, in keeping with these stars, mythology, no cupboards and no toilets. So Han Solo can be coming up with plans to find a universe with a toilet in it, absolutely desperate. I'm really am hot, I'm hot. Come and push on through. Oh, and then, and then, and then,

it was Christmas. It was the same. So it was Christmas day. I was playing with the time. It's same day, I haven't been given it. I'm playing with the time. Loving it. And, and my mum stood on the, the lane falcon, permanently breaking off its cockpit. Oh, cut. So full show, it was a full indoor show, stand on. So the cockpit, which is the one external, it says one indoor room, whether you do everything

else. And then the six-dernel cockpit, which I do if you remember, has a window, a little bit, just a little bit, it has a window slash lid, you can lift off. Chew back, I can go in there. If he's doing a number two for a shot, I assume. Go in there. Bit like Ben's higher than I. Closer top.

Ha ha ha. Um, put a CD on. A little bit. A CD fun let rip. Well, hands on the lip, presumably, is doing the same thing in the main section. Again, it's as universal without top. Yes. So, anyway, she's still on it.

She broke, broke She broke it off. So the lid bit didn't close on. The lid, the lid, the top of the cockpit essentially was broken off. And obviously it wasn't returnable because you can't return, you can't return and get refund or an exchange or something, which you stood on, even if it was day one. So we had to patch up a solution involving cellotape. So from then on, from day one.

Yeah, we're talking less than half an hour of pure play, pure play time with this thing. Day one, that thing has got a huge chunk of cellotape holding the top of the copy on. It doesn't hold it on straight. That's impossible. Every time you open it a bit, you hear the crunching, the cracking of the cello tape. Don't you mean galactic tape? It's galactot tape, Henry. If anything, it's even better. Think about it. It's transparent, futuristic technology, Henry. I mean, Henry, if you're truthful with yourself, were you playing with your Millennium Falcon

in a city place? Ah, dad, were you in a thoroughfare? Well, it was, it was, were you in a doorway? It was, I think there was, there was talk that it was, it was quite near a doorway, which is a good lesson, well, it was a lesson I learned the hard way. And also, you've got to consider that, you know, how happy you were before it happened. You're just coming off the back of,

well, only three months before you'd graduated from university. Yeah, come on. Yeah. Yeah, there we go. Nice. That's good because you've added to it. Have any of you added five years on? It's getting better, the joke's getting better.

I'm not, I did five years on. No, because better, the joke's getting better. I'm not added five years on. No, because you still have 21 before. When do you finish university? Yeah. How long did I take you to graduate in? I've just been. I just have to reveal that. Your gap, hemi-dack-aid.

Yeah, mum, I think you'll just need five or six years just to get over to process the money involved and think, after you go to India for a long time, and to get over there. So I'm going to have to speak to the wisest Australian tourists, second time. The wisest and the most authentic Australian tourists to give me the wisdom. Ah, just get over it, Mike, day and hour, fuck, come on you, fuck, you know what? No, I know what you mean. You know what?

Yes, I will study it to your feet for the next three years. Right, so we've covered that story. What did that have to do with the myth making that you were trying to do? No idea. You're talking about how this podcast began? Yes, it began. So the problem I was addressing right at the beginning,

I was suggesting that we should do our actual small talk. After we finish recording the podcast, is when the three of us should shed our pod personas, come our actual cells, which is Ben Mega-Jock. Like, Southern Bell. Mike, Southern Bell. And Henry, the criminally inclined Ibiza style techno dub DJ. Yeah, hands-on.

That's right. Welcome to the hands-on. Six, six, six, eight, and most of you can't know I'm not even thinking about brunch options. And I have to keep my volume on for. That doesn't stop it being the Hengzone. To your, your, your, the DJ after breakfast, perfect. DJ and egg chef. He's still living with Möndi's dream.

Not over. Still the only DJ in Ibiza who can poke your egg on a turntable while playing house music. How'd you with your egg spun? That's just a display egg. I can't actually do that. Sorry, mate. How'd you with your eggs spun? Duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-duk-uk-duk-duk-duk-duk- So after the show, once we shed our pod personas, and yeah, we do some sort of, where they said, what's essentially what's been happening is we've been doing our small talk before the actual show, which then made me think of the mythology of our podcast,

which it started at the National Theatre, didn't it? On the main stage at the Olivier. It's the Olivier. Mike was playing Hamlet. I was playing with Beth. And I was playing King Lear. It was the age of the Olivier. Mike was playing Hamlet. I was playing with Beth. And I was playing King Lear. It was the ultimate matchup. Absolutely.

It was the ultimate Shakespearean matchup. It was that brief trend. It was the GCSE triple basically. Crimes, the E-60 students, absolutely cram them in. We're going to get this done. It's easier. And we can't stress it enough. If we have proof, this is easier than just reading York notes.

It's easier than York notes. You watch the triple bill. But they happen concurrently, right? So each story plays out alongside the other. Hambeth. King Hambeth. King. It was King Hambeth.

And of course, but in this version, King Liz daughters were the great Gatsby. Nicholas Nicolby and going in the green night. I'm going in the green night, both of them. Just in case it was a power and blue bell doing a version of Romeo and Juliet and the Flai if that was on yours. It was, it was heady times, wasn't it? It was a great money spinner. It was a great money spinner. Oh, well then it became obviously the merry wives of King Ham Beth. And his daughters, great and the great night, the great Gatsby and Nicholas Nicolombe and Cressida. And Cressida, and Cressida at the end.

Yeah, it was when we tried to incorporate solvents and boiling points that I think he got too much. We crossed the subject barrier. You can't cross the subject barrier. It was too much. Yeah. The whole thing was taking place next to an Oxbow Lake and they spent a lot of time talking about what that was.

Yeah, we did we managed to incorporate geography and of course everybody in the cast or all of our costumes were made out of magnesium strips, weren't they? They did. They did. All the end of the show, was someone else. When we jumped into the Oxbow Lake, that's what I mean. They had to float out the show onto the Thames. We had to leave the actual building itself.

It was, well, put it this way. It was, I call it a dog's breakfast, but that'll be an insult both to breakfast and dogs. Two stars, the evening standard. Isn't it? We got... So, historically, worse GCSE results on record. Yeah. So, that's how we met.

You know, that's how we met, wasn't it? Who was doing that? Yeah, we'd meet up, you know, working on, like, you know, right to right, essentially, to do something else, and then we'd shatter a bit at the beginning. And in a way, I like to think that that's when I had the idea for the Rebeans salad podcast. LAUGHTER All of its segments.

And that's when I mentally at least copyrighted the... Certainly, the format points. And internally sent myself a letter saying that I own certainly or merchandising reproduction, film, TV, animation and declare myself as the copyright owner of all the jingles I'm afraid. As well. What I don't like about what you've just said, Heavenly, partly is that you've sewn up, from a business point of view, you've sewn up the podcast to the big...

I've sewn it up. You know, me and Michael, you know, we get nothing out of this. And because of the way that we record the podcast, now you can't delete this recording. No. But also, the thing that's most egregious is the way that you suggested that the reason we're doing the podcast is because we were all having a chance,

and you thought, do you know what, this needs to be broadcast. This small talk, this is almost, I mean, forget the question of where, where on earth is it all come from? I mean, we're never answering that. And also, take it as red, we're absolutely nuts. I mean, do're in there. Do you remember when, do you remember we'd be at the national and we'd go, because we did

used to meet up and work in the national. It was a way of telling our parents, I'm off to the national again. But really, we were just using the FOIA for the free, sort of why we're using the free FOIA. It was free. It was some of the stairwells. And then you'd spend quite a lot of money on like chocolate covered nuts, right? That's right.

That's right. I'd tell you what, I'd say to the woman I was buying and I'd tell you what, tell you what, some of the stairwells. And then you spend quite a lot of money on chocolate covered nuts stuff in the cafe. I tell you what, I'd say to the woman I was buying and I tell you what, I almost don't need it by nuts. I've got a couple of prime ones upstairs, I'm currently chatting to. I was like, just cover there and chop. I've done what I've done with it. Honestly, where does it come from? You.

Yeah. What? No, but that isn't how I, that isn't how I'm about to... but it is a bit like the chat, you know, it's a bit like just chatting stuff that we used to do. Whereas, when I feel like we do the podcast, there's a thing where it's like the thing that we have to do today is we call the podcast. So then before there's now another chat window where we chat a bit before the podcast. Yeah.

Do you want to... You say that you want to turn that into a podcast? Well, in theory, we could. And in theory, it would actually be an even greater distillate, finer distillation of the pure essence of what this is, isn't it? There will be quite a lot of private information here. A lot of private information. Yeah, then be a lot of, there'll be a lot of recordings of Ben and I waiting for you looking at blank, a blank screen. We blank screen. You've activated the chat, and you're just simply not there. We can hear a frothy coffee machine going in the background.

Activate. Activate chat. Run off. Piss. Make a coffee. Second piss. Short walk. By which time the duck is done. And then the duck's ready for its first basting. I tell you what, those potatoes, they come up absolutely perfect every time. I don't know what you can play any about.

So as we reached the end of this introduction section, what was the point you were trying to make? And in a way that is the point, nice one. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Time to turn on the beam machine.

Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine.

Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine. Time to turn on the beam machine. This week's topic as sent in by WMG is orange. Orange. Oh, the word which famously rhymes with Lossinge. And Siringe.

And Bloringe. Which is a hill near Abergavelli. Yeah, the Bloringe. The Bloringe, hell. It's a hill. Have you mounted the Bloringe? I've never mounted the Bloringe, I don't think. No, have I climbed it?

I've come here. Hey. Ooh. That's a joke about somebody trying to have sex with a pill. Ha ha ha ha. It is very hot. I'm really is. I'm lucky at the blunge, healing whales.

I've never had of the blunge. I've been through and in Napa Kavani many, many times in my life, but I've somehow missed the whole, the whole, I've been through and in Nabyk of any many, many times in my life, but I've somehow missed the whole Bluringer thing has passed me by. I've just got to stop and take time sometimes guys. Just, that's it. It's all too pacy, pacy, pacy. Because sometimes there's a bluringer right under your nose.

Yeah, and you're bursting your way to Crick Howl and you're not even looking. Life is not a rehearsal. I can't stress that enough. And if it is a rehearsal, it's like a tech. It's a late tech. It's like the final tech. Sort of dress tech. They put the dress and the tech into one in the end because they've run out of time. It's the dress tech. They've run out of time. The crew didn't change stuff because the trains are going to stop in a minute. And is there a budget for a premier in?

No, not for the crew as per. And none of the GCSE students have bought tickets, so no one's coming. The thing is, in life sometimes you are at a rehearsal. And the knife is a rehearsal, that's a good point. Yeah, I'm looking at the bronjum, it's kind of, you know, it's not, it's normally not very nice just to, well, because it says kind of thing about bits of nature and stuff, but I mean, I think for me, I think that's, I'm looking at him to get, I'm probably,

probably will give that a miss out, I imagine. Pfft, yeah. There's a lot of hills out there. There's only one blorinch. I mean, what, what are your top hills then? What are the hills here? Well, Snowden, Kilimanjaro, K2. Well, these are mountains of my friend.

Yeah, but as I said, it's not a rehearsal. You're gonna escape hills entirely. Don't do hills. Don't do hills, good straight downs. No hills, no tours, no noles. No, that stuff. No hillocks. It says on Wikipedia,

most visitors are walkers and sightseers. Some come to see the grave of Sir Harry Cluelin's famous stroge jumping horse, Fox Hunter, who won Britain's only gold medal in the 1952 Summer Olympics. The only medal went to a horse. I must have read it really bad. And he was murdered soon after for it. And buried in the hill. I think I'll be driving past the blorrinch tomorrow. Oh yeah, we're taking the blorrinch. I'm going to Hellmaw tomorrow.

Oh you lovely. Well something in Hellmaw. I've got a friend who lives in California and they're coming over for a holiday to Wales and they're staying near Hail White. Wow. I've got to say there's a bit of a weird thing with it, which is they're from California, right? Which in terms of natural beauty, sort of has it all, I would say. Yeah. Three mile high trees, for example. Yes. deserts, mountains, beaches, it's got

the works, everything in between again, again, no offense to any to the blurring itself or any blurringers, but that is not even getting a name in California. That's not named, that's not a named hill. Well, that'll be flattened to the double road across it. That'll be a road. Yeah. They might prop up a driving movie screen against it. Yeah, that road across it. That'll be a road. They might prop up a drive in movie screen against it. Yeah, that's about it. So yeah, so she's come over from California and so she messaged me and sort of said, you know, what would you recommend? And it's just like, guys, none of it's going to be quite as good as the stuff you've got California reading. Whereas the world's version of Hollywood, whereas Hollywood, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm Well, it's got the redwoods. Exactly. Well, and it's got the bears. Yeah, famously. They even make it to the flag. Maybe she's just looking forward to a kind of bear-free hike. Well, they've got they've got bears on their flags and they actually have bears. We've got dragons on the flag and we've actually got dragons. You know, I expect you to see a dragon. I hope.

Is there bear on the flag of California? Sure, it's quite flag. That is good. It's very communist looking, isn't it? California. It's a big Russian looking bear and a big red star. So basically, I just want to make sure they have a nice time in Wales. I might have to sort of rig up a projector of some sort on a huge screen

and then project maybe California onto it. I think Wales is nice enough, but when people come I'm always like, you could go somewhere. I think I think you're doing the classic indigenous person talking trash to the hometown. Yeah, and round hate is super lush. She's going to be okay. But is it worth flying from the Pacific to? That's my question. Well, you've got the fact that the things are old. Oh, no, that's worth good. I think castles is going to be the key.

Although that doesn't, yeah, castles get, it doesn't work for mountains and stuff because the earth is all the same age. Although that doesn't work very well for hay castles because they've done it up, haven't they, half of that's new now. There's basically an old, a very old wall around which there's a very nice, sort of modern new glass bookshop.

And cafeteria. Ah, yeah, that's no good. Ah, the castles. To be honest, man, you can make up any old shit, to be honest. Anything Arthurian just go, this is where Gwyneth has pouted through. Slid to the first door. Just just make up stuff.

Because the thing is, the thing is, I know what you mean, that you feel a bit inferiority complex or something. But the fact is, they love it all, they're American's absolutely love. Everything, they love everything. Well, it's got English. They just love, they love it all. Because I even got this with my, I've got another friend who's also coming over from California this week or next week to go to London. Now obviously London, you know, Henry, you know, better than anyone.

London's a place you'd fly from from Mars to get to. It's where, you know, especially if you can get cheap tickets for phantom from the half-friars ticket. Well, they do say that if anywhere has been discovered by aliens, it probably is London. Because they go to Abavoyage. Well, Abavoyage is the ultimate honey trap, isn't it? For Aliens.

I think what they weren't expecting when they started Abavoyage was that... Was he called again? Bjorn. The guy from the rest is Paulus X. And it's the Campbell. Yeah, now it's the Campbell's been about six times. I see. To have a voyage.

Where is he an alien? He's possessed with it. I don't know. I really want to go to have a voyage. So we're doing our London podcast festival shows. I think this episode is going out. I asked, we really done them. So thanks for coming.

What's a good time we all had. Oh. Where does it come from? Honestly, don't know. We really have done them. So thanks for coming. What's a good time we all had? Where does it come from? Honestly, don't know. And thanks to our special guests, Jimmy Nezbit, Nicholas Lindhurst, and Paul Decker, for the day of email. We're recording this before they split it will go after that. I'm considering going to Abavoyage. We are considering going in retrospect or instead of... In September?

In the live show. Yeah. We've done the live show. What reality? Can I say, those three shows were great, weren't they? And weirdly, we weren't as tired as I thought we were going to be for the second one on the Sunday. I thought we were going to be absolutely dog shit. Well you find it, don't you?

Oh Dr. Show. You find it. And the whole thing about, which you guys didn't believe in, that I said we should do, we dress up as a nut bar. And it's like, eh, eh, no, no, no, where's it come from? Eh, well you're nuts, I am nuts, you're a nut, hey, get your nuts, have one, nut, nut, nut, job, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

sorry, Henry, you can't say dress up as a nut bar because a nut bar isn't, what's a nut bar? That's what I'm, that was what I'm the issue to you having that, I said, it's not literal, Ben, it doesn't matter, we're not literally beans, I always, not, it's not literal, so like a, like a pub,

but you get nuts instead of beer. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha nuts instead of beer. Half a pineapple cashews, please. Half a squirrels. It's squirrels have their own, right? Right. It's a squirrel. It's a squirrels have their own metropolis. And is that why Paul Day could have the form red to the Daily Mail was dressed as a trans squirrel? It was a very alpha move, wasn't it, given the vibe? He said he'd only turn up and do it if he was dressed as a squirrel. We had to come up with the idea around that. That's ultimate predator.

You're considering going to have a voyage before or are? Yeah. Well, I wonder, by the time they've listened to this, the audience, if it was true or not, if it did, if you did go. Well, moments before you started recording this podcast, I was on the Abavoid website trying to ask Per. And I was thinking, maybe I could go on the Sunday evening, so we finish our second live show Yeah, and I could whisk myself straight to average. Oh

What an amazing day that would be and fortunately, it's not possible and less I Can get one of the abatars to be me for the final three being sad live show We have to do a swap it right. They can use the same technology. It's all set up Yeah, you just change the data input so the live show for the previous side will be Mike Henry and Agnetha and then I'll be on stage at Aber Voyage who's gonna be beamed in there's just have to change the GPS settings exactly we just have to sort of drill a hole in the ceiling of the venue the we're at and they'll be met through yeah and we can keep the they don't have to change

the settings to the internal organ age we know that that's true's true. We can still, it's still sort of 70ish, isn't it? Yeah. We know that from the intro. And but I could go on Monday. I think I'm going to stay overnight in London. So I could go on Monday. But then I'm thinking, it's going to Abavoid you're on your own, okay? I only meant to go with a gaggle of girls or are you the gamble? One or the other. What you want is who you want to go with is the best friend girl character from a TV show. Yeah. So Sally, she wears lepiscan leggings. Fun, fun, fun, fun. Keep saying fun. Is she fun? Keep saying fun. Is you fun? Can you show off fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fun, fungal niece, we've got that wrong. She got a fungal niece that you need to find out

about in the sixth episode. She still loves her. She still loves her. But bloody hell, she's good. You're gonna have the Windows Open Wednesdays round. He's basically a year seven mushroom, that kid. What you wanna know, you wanna go to that with the best friend, the female best friend character

from film, so Lebskin Legan leggings, fun jewellery. Okay, yeah. Heads a bit all over the place. Oh, a couple of glasses of wine last night, silly me. It's just been fired again from a sort of yoga admin job. Oh, I'm lucky in love, but it's absolutely rock when it comes to it, you know. Yeah, but that's he want to go with, isn't it? Guotsy in northern. Oh, lovely. Nice touch. Gutsy and Northern when she needs to be. Let's put it that way. But a feat and southern when it's appropriate. Exactly.

Yes, what happens? I need to have gone through a breakup. I mean, I don't want this to happen. Yeah. But maybe my partner can temporarily break up with me just for the Monday. Mm-hmm. Yes. I'll be going, oh no, I've broken up a company with love of my life.

And then this character comes in and goes, hey, cheer up. We're going to see Abba Voyage. And you're like, you're from Surrey, you've never been north of Watford. Do the maths are just chit, just pop up. Cheer up, unblock up. Yeah. All right. We're going to have a voyage.

I have a sort of experience where I get my self-confidence back. Yeah, and should be like, if you get package one point in the gig, you start feeling a bit like headed and you're getting a bit sad about the break on the relationship, should be like, don't worry, I've got a handful of panchetta in my handbag. I think you've broken the character there. I'm not sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That stacks up at all. Handful of panchetta, I think your Islington upbringing is coming through. There's no one in a handbag. So you've got a bum bag, this one. A bum bag in a handbag. She's got a bum bag, this one. She's a bum bag, Fanny Pack. She's got a bum bag, but she wears it as a handbag.

Because she's a little bit, you know, she's just a little bit zany. A little bit. Well, wouldn't it be sort of like melt and mobré pork pies or... I think it'd be a vegan option, frankly. I think it might be skittles. Maybe it's skittles. I think this character's falling apart. Yeah.

Well, this is what I say, you know know, there's often a lot of these parts that are underwritten, you know. Well, there's a strike on, isn't there, to be fair? That is true, isn't it? Hasn't affected us though, has it? Hasn't affected the beans? Still, well, it's because we haven't had any work apart from this, isn't it? And it has actually affected me. Of course, because you were going to be in the second series

of the remake of Sex and the City, weren't you? That's right. As a Jedi Knight. Is an HBO Disney mashup. I love that Welsh guy. It's so hard to believe he's actually 69. Internally. Anyway, so I might go and see Apple for you.

It's quite expensive though. How much is it? To stand up. I think they cloak the idea of standing up by calling it the Dancing Arena. But I think it means standing up. That's like 80 quid. That's not the average. And if you want to sit bull. That's like 80 quid. That's not the average. Yeah. And if you want to sit down, it's like 180 quid. Bloody hell.

My word. I mean, that's got to be the good of a lifetime, isn't it? You put Mike, you're literally not seeing Abba. I know. It's like, how many times can you say that you've done that in your life? Literally not seeing them. Yeah, I do.

I mean, I sort of understand. What's the crowd going to be like, do you think? Maybe everyone. Quite tourist heavy, maybe. Yeah. Does it happen elsewhere in the world? What was this the only one? Only one. The fact that Alistair Campbell has been six times is quite... What's that about?

How does that informer understand they give a new labour at this point? And it's legacy. I'm going to see a musical on Tuesday then afterwards. I'm staying in London for a few days and sort of having a London experience. You really are. I knew what's the musical. I'm going to see Operation Mint's meet. And that's supposed to. Oh, I'm very jealous of that. I want to see that. Yeah, I'm going to the Matinee on Tuesday.

Can't wait. Can't wait. What else are you doing? London Aquarium, obviously, the Shrek Experience. Have you seen this a Shrek Experience? I think the Shrek Musicals had to be cancelled because of the Concrete thing. What? Yeah, there's a production of Shrek the Musical, which has had to be cancelled because of the Concrete scandal. We might have to explain the Concrete scandal to What? Yeah, there's a production of Shrek, The Musical, which has had to be canceled because of the concrete scandal. It might have to explain the concrete scandal to some of our broad listeners. Basically, also people have been building schools largely,

and it turns out some theaters with some quite a spongy, naff concrete several decades ago. And this has all come out. Everyone's worried that these rooms are gonna fall on their heads, which has meant some schools closing down, but most tragically of all the Henry's pointed out, has meant at the temporary first moment of Shrek, Shrek the music. With all of this knock on impacts for the economy at large.

I mean, yeah, we're bracing for a recession. I would imagine off the back of this. I mean, Shrek the music always, I think, you know, you can keep bracing the flake, wasn't it? I'm keeping it as it in Britain and float, was it? I'm keeping it in the G9. Wasn't it? We track the musical. It was certainly our final by-going ship with Putin, wasn't it? That's gone now.

Yeah. Sadly, that's certainly the plans for a track the musical pipeline have been those that we've felt. I mean, that's not. That'll never be. We're a nation on its arse now. We're in a race with arse. The Blorinjas now are top tourist attractions.

Yeah. And soon we'll find that the Blorinj has made a spongy, concrete look. Any final orange thoughts? You've reminded me, I do have a short plum anecdote. Or should I say a short plum's anecdote? It looks like it's blood has turned cold. LAUGHTER So it's a very quick anecdote.

You've said that before, Henry. There's trust problem now. No, this genuinely is. It's not even an anecdote, frankly. But it started with a plums anecdote. It's already expanded to a plums anecdote. It's sort of making me anxious. It's a punitive plums anecdote. It's a plum orchard based saga.

The saga of ye field de plum trees. It's a medieval tale. Now, I popped into a posh grocers, yeah, it's in London, to buy a couple of plums. This sounds like a nursery rhyme, doesn't it? He popped into the grass, we thought we'd be pie a couple of plasmas.

And, well, I'm just, there was something in the queue, there was a few people in the queue. I just popped in front of the person at the front of the queue. Because I knew that this is a gross as wear, it can take quite a while to get served. Who do they talk about? They tend to gas on a lot. Oh, awful.

Got him, I mentioned. What? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'll be on my way, do you mind? So just snuck in and sort of like snuck to the front and say, did you say, did you mind? Just, I'm just getting two plums. So what do you mean? You went to the front of the queue. The bed, bed, bed, bed. I was only getting a couple of plums, come on. Doesn't matter. Well, because everyone else was queueing up

and they were getting their weekly fruit, were they? What's the idea? Well, there was a person in the queue that had masses of fruit and veg and it's a place where they were individually, so it takes ages. So I just said, do you mind, do you just get to just see these two plums? And it was at that point that I realised that the person at the front of the queue, I just knuck in front

of, was Sophie Alex Bexter. So it's Sophie Alex Bexter. It was Sophie fielis, but yeah, yeah, it was so fielis Bexter Play the jingle So low, batter sea, old South-Ack, Strater, Voxel, Tuffinall Park Barnet technically, Madden Tursort Buson at half, Halfless Zone 5 Mind the gap between your provincial existence and this metropolitan utopia. Next stop, Urban Enlightenment.

The glamorous London life of Henry Macca. Hang on a second. Is that Saranjoo Lloyd Weber? No, it can't be. Because you're Saranjoo Lloyd Weber. M-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha What's her song again? It's Murder on the Dance Floor. Yeah. Do you bednut steal the groove? Be gentle. It comes on the dance floor.

You bed nuts. Jump, loop, cue. And did she unleash a torrent of foul language? No, I think, I think she took it, reason you up. She did have quite a few kids and stuff with her. So I think there was a slight element of you are pushing in here. I wouldn't have pushed in if I had known it was in front of a leading lunge,

let's say, probably wouldn't have. But anyway, so I looked at how I clocked it, Sophia Lisbeckster, but at that point, I had two plums and man's. What do you do? So I just went ahead, I think I fulfilled the cutting in, I bought the plums, and I was on my way. What would you, what would you have done in that situation? I think I've fulfilled the cutting in, I bought the plums, I was on my way. What would you have done in that situation? I'm gonna...

I'm gonna... Do we mail in? Do you know like everyone is someone in Sex in the City? We've already discussed this. I'm Miranda, I'm like Miranda. Ben's a Gustav. We've already discussed this. I'm Miranda, I'm like Miranda, Ben Gustav. We've already discussed this. Everyone is someone in the Sophia L. Spext under two plums and Henry's story, aren't they?

Some people are the plums. Some people are the plums. Some people are the impatient toddlers. And some people are the creators of one that's eternal, a Ibiza bangers. So that's orange, I think. I think so. Orange.

Orange. Blorange. Time for your emails! Oh shit, when you send an email This represents progress Like a robot chewing a horse Tiffing your horse My beautiful horse Today's emails will have a theme, and the theme is people vying to get the record of geographical records vis-a-vis listening to the podcast in various geographical locations. Ooh, okay.

But there are various records. The first one that we talked about was about altitude. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Array writes, dear beans, I'm listening with much amusement to your banter about Mount Evans in Colorado. I know the mountain well having spent summers of my youth attending a Jewish sleep away camp upon its slopes. You've speculated about how high the road goes. It is in fact the highest paved road in North America. I think we were told that last time. I don't remember. The last time I was up there was in the summer of 2012 with a British friend of mine with whom a few weeks later I would become amorous. Why wasn't that British person at home celebrating the London Olympics? Good point. What were they enjoying super Saturday and getting

behind Jess Nis? They should have been supporting Team GB. Yeah. Ping pong, javelin, weird equestrian stuff. We decided that our summer loving was not complete on the North American leg. And I visited here in London a few weeks later around the time with the 2012 Olympics. Oh, nice. There we go. But then they did, I guess after the 2012 Olympics,

they said, no, the loving is now over. To the knots of go anymore. I don't think so. Does he give any details of the sexual metal haul? You want a nerfy podiumed? At any rate, I have a lifetime's worth of happy memories from Mount Evans. A lifetime's worth. Plathy hell.

And a lifetime ban from attending Olympic events. That's right. That's right. And at any rate, I have a lifetime's worth of happy memories from Mount Evans. And I'm happy to have you discuss it. Cheers, Ari. So there we go.

Okay, good. If you've banged on a mountain, why not email in? And what's the highest paved road you've ever banged? That's right. And what's the highest paved road you've ever banged? LAUGHTER And then she came back with him to visit him in London for the Olympics. I felt like the paved road of Mount Evans laid the groundwork somehow for the two of them.

They felt able to seal the deal in the atmosphere of the 2012 Olympics. Which was a tremendous, tremendous atmosphere. After the credit crunch and all we've been through and austerity of the previous few years, the national mood was lifted briefly. And I'm assuming while they were making love, Ari was doing the mo bot. Trevor the mo bot?

They assume they both were. Yeah. Lovely. Lovely bit of blue there from Ari. Really? Really? We don't get a lot of blue, do we? Well, it's not, I think we made it blue. And it was all he said was become amorous. And he used to phrase summer loving. But he knew that we in the listeners would be filling all filling in all kinds of gaps there. Harry has shown himself to be a very strong writer of

erotic nonfiction. And then he would have gotten so well that he would have said come back to London, the Olympics have. She's from London, he went to London. Okay, he went to visit her. So it's that summer, it's a summer love and thing that's gone quite well because there's a return visit. Almost instantly. And as you say, it's the Olympics. It's a great time to be alive with the metal haulers superb archery cycling, running, throwing, leaping, bounding. Daniel Craig is bombed. It's a great time. He's in his, he's in his pomp as he was bombed. And that thing where it felt like the Queen was just was going into this, into the stadium on a parachute. That would have been a hell of a thing to watch, you know, while experiencing young love. But I suspect

what then happened was there post-alimics come down, maybe for the two of them. I think probably their relationship was a bit like the Velo drone. Quite hard to keep up to keep. Maintain. To maintain, you know. But I think like the Velo drone, I think no one expected this to be a permanent fixture. Nice. Exactly.

And maybe it was a bit longer than anyone thought it would be. I'm probably now as covered in moss. Well, I do think actually the Velo drone, we've kept the velodrome up, so it was a bad metaphor. More like the aquatic centre from the Rio Olympics, which is now gone back to nature, I think. Very good. Or the volleyball courts on horse guards parade. Yes, that's better. Much better. Yes. Thank you for your email, Ari, which essentially was just a sort of brag, basically,

wasn't it? It was just a brag. It was, wasn't it? A boastful, erotic brag. Yeah, it got our juices out, flowing, they didn't it. It's really dead, it's dead. Not the L. Uh-oh.

Oh. Lured content warning. Lured content. Content. Hey, hey, hey. Time to address the records. Although we could give Ari a record, maybe And... And... Hey! Hey! Hey! Time to address the records, although we could give Aria record, maybe for highest bangings on a paved road? I don't know.

But not even while listening to the podcast. Just high... Highest bangings. It should be highest bangings on a paved road while listening to the podcast, isn't it? Yes, I don't think Aria was listening. It was pretty figured. Was pretty... It was pretty parlable, isn't it?

Anyway, let's get onto the actual records. This is from George. Dear Beams, I want to add my contributions to the highest listener table. I recently returned from a holiday to Ladakh in the far north of India. At several times, we crossed over high mountain passes where workers were rebuilding the road by hand,

right in front of us. The highest of these passes was Tang Lang La. Recorded at 5,328 meters. By me, that's pretty high. Is that higher than everything we've had so far? That is, so Mount Evans was something like 4,600 or so, isn't it? So this is smashing out the park. Whilst waiting for the roads to be built

and slowly losing my mind due to the altitude, I maintained my santi by chuckling along to your insightful podcast. Keep up the good work, George. Well done, George. I'm looking at a photo from Tang Lang Laugh. Yeah. And it's from an area that is so high,

there's almost no trees, it's just totally barren, because it's so high. And there's a sign that says, welcome's you at Tang Lang Laugh, top 17,582 feet, and then says, great courage and will of steel is the norm. It's quite a time time for our podcast, maybe. So I thought that at 5,328 metres,

that George would probably be the winner forever. You would think a Himalayan adventure would do the trick, wouldn't you? But then we received this email from Phil. Last September, I was a singer at the pod, at 5,364 metres meters at Everest Basecamp. No. Yes.

Wow. Who's Phil? I want to meet Phil. He's, he's picked George by a 36 metres, I think. Yeah. He has. That's just the base camp. Okay, more records.

David writes, do your beans, you may remember me as being the only listener so far that you've told to go fuck themselves. Anyway, apparently you exhausted him to go to one of the remotest places on earth and think long and hard about what you've done. What he said initially? He said that you've got some general knowledge blind spots. So you tell them to go to one of the remote spaces. Then he writes, so not three months hence, I embarked with my father on a journey to Longabean,

the most northern town on the planet, on the archipelago's fowl bar. Oh wow. He took me at my word. From there, we took a boat trip to the abandoned Russian coal mining settlement of Pyramidian, some 50 miles further north again. During this boat trip, I enjoyed accompanying my scanning of the horizon for polar bears with the smooth lukewarm tones of my three favourite beans. Wow. I would therefore like to claim the most gnawly listening to of three bean salad. I will of course also accept being told to go

and felt myself again by Henry. Come regard. David. That's a good one David, I like that. Because we've had jazz, I mean, jazz jazz, the polar scientists, I think has been in Svalbard, but I don't know if they've gone that extra 50 miles. Well, Mike, we've also had an email from jazz, the polar scientist. Oh, really? There we go. Okay. Hello from the world's northernmost community, Nye Eilsson Svalbard.

Okay. Nye me. So we'll have to work out who actually got for this North. I'm wondering if jazz and David might even cross paths because it can't be many people are they? I mean, if you're queuing in that green grocers. It's true. So unclear, I think, as to who gets that record.

Maybe hash it out amongst yourselves. Yeah. Some sort of jewel, some sort of jewel under the Northern Lights. Yes. Or just email and let us know. Yeah, take a pick. So those are the emails. That's a good clutch. I enjoyed that.

It made me feel a bit like I'm wasting my life, though. Like everyone seems to be going into… What do you mean? Tannels and going into the Arctic Circle. Yes, I don't have a good answer for you there. I don't think I can help you there. But it can't be that good if when they get there. They listen to us talk about bags or whatever

the episode might be about. But the thing is, that's the curse of the artist, Ben. You see, we're artists. We don't get to take part in life. We merely banter about it. I wouldn't describe this as art, Henry. I wouldn't describe this as art, Henry. I wouldn't describe this as art, Henry.

I wouldn't describe this as art, Henry. I wouldn't describe this as art, Henry. I wouldn't describe this as art, Henry. It's time to pay the ferryman. Patreon Patreon.com For a sash free beat salad. Thanks to everyone who signed up on our Patreon. Thank you. Thank you very much.

Patreon.com.4.3BeanSallad. We do a monthly bonus episode. We do other little things. We did a unboxing video last week. We do. And also, if you sign up at the Sean Bean tier, you get a shout out in the Sean Bean Lounge from Mike Wozniak and Mike, I believe you spent last out in the Sean Bean Lounge from Mike Wazniak and Mike I believe

you spent last night at the Sean Bean Lounge. I absolutely did, to the maximum, because of course last night it was the Omelette rodeo. It was the Omelette rodeo. Thank you, Henry, and here's my report. It was the omelette rodeo last night at the Sean B. Lounge, with eggs supplied by Richard Churchill's free range geckos, the 3D egg printer Christina Bergman found on a road trip through Area 51, and David Haines' strangely large people please a chicken Ben. Who is named after Ben Marsh, Ben Hambro, Ben McPherson, or even Ben who just goes by Ben, who is named after Ben Marsh, Ben Hambro, Ben McPherson, or even Ben who just goes by Ben, but after Emily Jullin, whose nomad graffiti when vandalising municipal signage is Ben.

Barrel racing was the first event with Mark Hinch competitive on the back of a cheese and ham omelette he broke in last year, Lin Carter tipping the barrel early doors on a pumpkin and halluminumber, and Alex Chandler-Zoo cornering impressively with a single egg microwave mug omelette. Best time however went to Tom Hachewski, who brazed through the course on an almost cloud-like, souffle-style, better-in-sundered tomato. In the rust-stock events, Brendan Stone made a prize pillow-cabre of himself by saddling a quiche, and Sam Heffel was double-discqualified for doping a custard tart. Alex S successfully barebacked an unset pretator, and John Strowmayr

wrestled a Denver omelet onto its side in less than 90 seconds, breaking Keenan Hahn's record by 38 minutes. A yoklas Spanish omelette got the better of Michael Green, David Thair and James, the last of whom was bucked into Patrick Harano before he'd even put his chaps off. In capacitated, Patrick was unable to haze Richard's long-horned Western Omelette, which veiled off into the open beast's chute, accidentally left open by Charlie Brooks who was busy with the wordle, and gawed Harry Kid until he was more smoothie than man. There was further trouble elsewhere as Anna Triggered a Provincial Omelette cake stand paid with injudicious spicy connollent usage, Michael Fairclough was trampled to death by

an eggful young that Edward Watkees had left on Tevat, and Timothy Walker got snagged in the flank strap of Alexander Pashby's Omelette Tortilla breakfast strap, and dragged into the car park, where he totalled Heather Colbert's motorbike inside it. By contrast, Jair's goat tied Chris John to a spinach and Bombay potato, Nicholas's speechly double-free handed a broncing Tamaguyaki, and they said it couldn't be done, but Hannah Vittessa wrote an unsuccessful avocado omelette with less than 5% soft-ex pillage. Thanks all. Right, that's the podcast we will finish with a version of our theme tune sent in by a listener.

And this week's is going to be from Jazz the Polar Scientist. Ooh! Thanks, Chef. They're in Svalbard. They're out. According to my colleague Emily, the Polar Scientist, a couple of series ago, I was supposed to bring Mike back a polar bear spleen. Sadly, I've not managed this. By the time I find somewhere with Wi-Fi to send this from, I'll probably be back in the UK. So I hope instead

he'll accept this version of your theme tune in the style of early 2000s pop-class called piano, e.g. Ludovico Inaudy in lieu of a spleen. In lieu of a spleen. It may be the world's most northerly piano. It's good, isn't it? Another record. Nice. But I'm prepared to be bothered on this by someone from some temporary obscure army base in Northern Canada. The piano is directly above the communal dining hall.

I only had my phone recorder app and no editing software, limited internet use, so the quality might be the worst ever had on the podcast. Enjoy. Good idea, jazz. And yes, absolutely. That's, let's consider it on a satisfied, sprained wise. And let's leave those polar bears in peace, Eric. I'm pretty exciting to have a theme tune played on the world's most northerly piano.

There's also a PS on the email. PS, the most provincial dad story of all time from their friend Emily the Polo Scientist. Yes, please. On a childhood family holiday, her dad drove them some way out of their way for an extra surprise. After arriving and trying and failing to get them to guess what the surprise was, he revealed it was the location of the emptiest square of land on the UK Yes. It's a nice idea for you to take the kids, Mike, and, you know, I'm going to track them down. Emily, the public scientist, I want to know where that is, please.

Yes. And that impacted on Emily's future career, seeking these fantastically empty spaces. I'd say, go Pines. Emily now works in the bar and might have been a form of experience. It's got points. So Emily, if you do know where that is, I'd be really interested to know. Yes, please. That's the podcast.

We'll play it with Jazz and Steam Tune. Thanks for listening, everyone. Goodbye. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. nd nd nd nd nd

nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd nd I'm going to be a little bit more careful.

Thank you.