Three Bean Salad - Sharks

Episode Date: October 16, 2024

Dan from Bremen chooses sharks for this week’s topic as well he might. After all, just as the shark is a perfectly evolved apex predator, so is the bean a perfectly evolved apex legume. No one wants three sharks to team up: that would simply lead to a bloodbath. Three beans on the other hand means a lukewarm banter bath and everyone’s invited (special rubber socks will be supplied for those with untreated athlete’s foot or verrucas).Join our PATREON for ad-free episodes and a monthly bonus episode: www.patreon.com/threebeansaladWith thanks to our editor Laura Grimshaw.Merch now available here: www.threebeansaladshop.comGet in touch: [e-mail] @beansaladpod

Hello everybody. Hello and welcome to Three Bean Salad, a show where three men talk about a topic sent in by the audience. We'll get to that later, but first, what have you guys been up to? Hi Ben, Mike here. Hi Mike. I've got a tree surgeon next door's garden, which might be making quite a lot of noise through the show.

Is that true? Yes, sorry. There's also someone who seems to be beating the proverbial seven trades out of some white goods in the other house on the other side. Basically the economy is thriving here, but it might be quite noisy. Hey, wouldn't that white hot heat of works? Well, people cutting down trees. And the other house on the other side, basically the economy is thriving here, but it might be quite noisy. White, hot heat of works. Well, people getting entries.

Yesterday I experienced a train incident. Did you? Yeah. Were you hit by a train? No, but I was nearly hit on a train. Oh, so I had to take a train yesterday towards the south of Britain into Sussex. Okay. I was on it. I was headed to three bridges, which is one of those sites.

Have you been there? I have. I've been through three bridges, very near sort of Gatwick and Crawley that next one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's quite sort of bleak rail hub sort of zone place, but I had to go there. Apologies to our three bridges listeners. Yeah, yeah, a balls. So I was on a train heading towards three bridges. And loads and loads of people got on the train suddenly. Yeah. And they're all football

fans on their way to watch a football match. So I was sat opposite a bald old man. Yeah. Was it a mirror? Nice one. I mean, I put that there left there. I could feel Yeah, I could. There was there was a gravity wasn't there. Someone needed to pop that bubble. Was he looking at you not with a degree of nostalgia? I think he was actually. Yeah, I think he was quite dewy eyed. Well, that may have just been one of the multitude of health conditions he was

clearly suffering from. Anyway, we were sat there. So it was me. Well, we were sat on a square, a standard square, square, square, square table, square train table. We did the traditional thing, which is he was already sat in one corner, I went to the opposite corner on a diagonal. The Battenberg formation? The Battenberg, the classic Battenberg, because that means both of you have leg room. Yep. Do you know, because I do, which is the preferable of those positions to be in? One is next to the window, one is next to the aisle.

Isle. I believe wrong. Explain. You want aisle for what? For toilet? Mixture of toilet and aisle bonus leg room for the aisle leg. The aisle leg can kind of wonder when the trolley's not going past the aisle, they can kind of wonder about. Mike, we've had words with you about this.

The police had had words with you about this. That leg needs to stop a wandering on the trains. Cause you've got incredibly agile legs. But yeah, cause because your leg will sometimes be like three rows up, wouldn't it? Like flicking through someone's Hello magazine. Trying to get into the first class section. Yeah. I believe that the, I see what you're saying, but I think a leg that's a wandering into the aisle is never a leg that's a comfortable a wandering into the eye. For me, it's just if you're next to

the window, basically, when other people join the train, the first place they'll go is next to the person next to the window. It's sort of like a game of knots and crosses. Yeah, but the, well, actually me and that guy both both both bald, we actually did look like knots from above. Well, actually me and that guy both both both bald, we actually did look like noughts from above. But the position next to the guys next to the window that that free seat next to him is on the outside. That's where someone will the first if someone comes on the train, that's where they'll sit opposite you. So you now don't have leg room and all you can do is shift to your

right where you're on your opposite another bull tosser. You got no leg room either there either. You see what I mean? Yeah, that's it. So that guy next to the windows in the best position. Anyway, he was that was retaken by the bull guy. I went diagonally opposite to him initially. It's guy was like me in the future. And he did a little thing we went and is there a bin up there? Yeah, and I went Yes. And he handed me his coffee cup and I put it in the bin for him. Very good. bald men reaching out

over the generations their hands touching helping each other. The ball connection lasts for 1000 years. That's how you mate, isn't it? That's how we mate. Yeah. So he he's now will have probably the fishing would have taken place but now there'll be three of him now. He'll have woken up and there'll be three of him because of the bald fishing. Whereas you have you Harry, you wouldn't barely look at each other, would you? You and your barnets.

You didn't help each other out in that way, do you? There's too much hair jealousy going on. You're thinking who will sire the future of the herd? It'll be me or this pursuit get. It better be me because I want them to be glossy. Glossy! Glossy with just a hint of curl. Whereas me and the bald man, we know that neither of us will lie to the sire, anyone

in the herd. That's why we will touch fingers and reproduce by fission, which now bald people reproduce just to emphasize that again, fission. I remember it's completely impossible to contract herpes from fission. Now, But you can get it from touching an old bald man. They're rancid with it generally. So then, so people started tripping onto the train. So I then sat, I then shuffled over it as you do to sit opposite the bald guy. So there's two zeros on that side and then two crosses, two people with hair sat in the two seats

next to us and the whole train filled up with people. Suddenly loads of people and they're all football fans. So I thought hey we're on our way to Brighton. So I said who who who I said this guy the guy who sat opposite diagonally to me so next to the old ball guy I said um I said um was it a derby no no no it's a cup final day the magic of the cup I can almost smell the sausage and onions on your breath. Is that okay? Bovril all round. Oh god, I love a fucking awful pie. Do you love an awful pie? And then you get out your little wooden ratchet thing. My little wooden ratchet starts going...

So I thought, I thought engages in football banter. You've got what it takes. You can talk to Sunday. It's a nice day. Yeah. You'd been to a football match, I believe only the day before. I had, because I'm an Arsenal fan. I support Arsenal. I have an Arsenal season ticket.

I'd been to see Arsenal day before. Now I knew we were heading to Brighton. So I, so this was the train to Brighton. Something in my brain went, these are Brighton fans. They're all jumping on the old train to go to Brighton for the Brighton match. So my brain just told me that. And I, for some reason, I took that on as an implicit assumption. Anyway, so I said to the guy diagonally opposite to me, said to him, so who are you playing today in the big match? Hope everyone remembers the shin pads. Although it's awful the way now that big money signings have ruined the game

to a degree. They've all got PR agents and stuff now because it's all about social media. In my day, all they got was a bowl of Bovril, that's what they were paid, wasn't it? They got paid in Bovril and after the match they'll have a Bovril bath. And then they smoked Bovril, they used to smoke Bovril bongs, bong-vrills. Out of a pipe. Out of a bong pipe Bovril. I said, who Bovril bongs, Bovril bongs, Bovril bongs. Out of a pipe. Yeah. Out of a bong pipe. Bovril. I said, who are you playing? To this guy. Equal opposite me. So this guy was a sort of normal man in his 30s, hair on his head. Just a normal, normal

football fan guy. And I said, who are you playing today? And he said, Tottenham. He said Tottenham. He said Tottenham. Now, either I hadn't actually said what I thought I'd said. Yeah. And either I'd said, or he didn't. I think he must have interpreted what I've said as, who are you playing today? Because he was in a Tottenham strip. Was he, yes, this is pivotal. Was he wearing a strip? No, well, I'll come onto that in a minute. He said Tottenham and for some reason my brain, my brain said these are all Brighton fans and they're off to play Tottenham.

Yeah. And there you are sat as a, I mean, even I understand this. You're, you're a fan of Tottenham's arch rival, correct? I am a fan of Tottenham's arch rival. Now which I then announced to him very proudly because I thought he was a Brighton fan and that he was off to play Tottenham. So the first thing I said was, so I said, who are you playing today? He said Tottenham. I said, Oh, I'm an Arsenal fan. Like that to him. And the punch in began.

And the reason my face looks okay is because I actually punched my face out and then back in so many times that it's just coincidentally has reformed its natural shape. But it's actually loads smaller than usual because they've punched it all in. And you're actually able to take parts from the old man's bald head face just to patch up yours. Well, that's what, luckily the A&E squad, is that what they're called? The A&E squad that saved my life on that train said, Henry, you wouldn't have survived this if we hadn't had the parts to hand.

Well, the train would have diverted directly to A&E, wouldn't they? Yeah, it would have done, yeah. Well, yeah, they do that. As soon as they heard you after that word. In instances like this. But of course, I of course I was the equivalent of like an old sort of like an old sort of MG that had been wrecked, but luckily there was an even older, there was a kind of. Yeah, in the scrap yard next door. In the scrap yard. They had all the parts they needed.

And they actually said to me, you know what Henry, I don't know if it's more your face on one that other old bastard's face now, but. But here is his wife. She may well follow you around for a few months pining obviously we say wife it was a bald fish and version version of himself wearing a female wig so essentially this is quite an awkward spot i hadn't realized my faux pas yet which is essentially he was telling me who he was supporting rather than who they were playing. So I thought, oh, is it Brighton fans off to play Tottenham? Now, look, I know that, you know, I'm not into the football rivalries and stuff.

I know they're all a little rubbish. You know, everyone's just the same supporting their team and stuff. But, you know, for a bit of fun banter, I then started getting stuck into Tottenham and I said, oh, you can really attack them. Their defense is rubbish. And basically I just carried on like this for a while and then I suddenly, it's a bit like in a, because I realized that, I mean, I do pick up basic social signals.

The sharpening of an axe. The stuffing of a sock with snooker bolts. These little social signs. The waxing of a body bag. Like in the film, like in the Da Vinci Code or something where someone suddenly, suddenly I noticed a little, an obscure symbol tattooed his arm. It was a chicken sat on a football and it's on his shirt and there's a chicken sat on a football and there's everyone's shirts in the bro and there's a chicken sat on a football which is the, I believe is the Tottenham logo isn't it? So it's a cockerel on a football.

And every all-cyber is all of them are Tottenham fans. So then it was, it was just incredibly embarrassing because it was really, really awful. And but also I was completely, as I described that the seating situation, I was completely wedged in and also the corridor, you know, the aisle everything was wedged with Tottenham fans. And the ballgabers at me wouldn't wouldn't even look at me in the eyes anymore. He doesn't want to deepen that emotional connection. He's he's it's over. He's already started the grieving process.

And basically, I looked at my phone, I realized I had 40 minutes until three bridges, I knew for a fact they were going on to Brighton, which is beyond where I was going. So I was going to sit the rest of the journey. It was just really, really awful. Really, really embarrassing. And did you at any point go, Oh, sorry, I thought you would know about you. I thought you were bright. Thanks. Thanks, Ben, for that, that loving portrait. That loving and affectionate portrait of how much I dealt with it. I felt in a way that would have been worse. I didn't know what to do. I put my AirPods in, right, but I didn't play any music in them because

I wanted to hear if they were planning my murder. But weirdly, you just kept the 999 line open. Just kept it open, ready to go. But of course I was a moving target because the train was moving. So how would I tell my own where I was? It'd be impossible. It'd be literally impossible. I'm moving through Sussex. I'm currently being thrown out of a train somewhere in the middle of West Sussex. Also, they've got three bridges to choose between. In terms of throwing me off one. Probably throwing me off all three. And luckily it was on the way there, right? It wasn't on the way back after a belly full

of strong lagers. That's true. And also Tottenham did actually have to go on to lose that game. It's been almost exactly the way that I'd laid out that they might through having a poor defense. Let's turn on the beam machine. You bet. Yes, please. This week's topic, as sent in by Dan from Bremen. Thanks Dan. Is sharks. What does the shark in Jaws represent?

Oh, very good, Ben. Very, very, very, very good. Very, very good. Russia. It's always Russia. It's always Russia. Of course, the great thing about Jaws is you actually don't see... You actually don't see Brezhnev until the end, do you? You don't see Brezhnev until the final scene where they put a gas canister in his mouth

and blow his head up. The shark is Russia, powered by Brezhnev. And then so who is the sheriff then? Because he's a Russian agent, isn't he? Initially. That's right? Cause he's a Russian agent, isn't he? Initially. Uh, that's right. The chef's the bad guy, isn't he? It's to be empty shark, but actually what the shark and the no, no, cause

that the mayor's the good guy. The mayor is America. The mayor is capitalism. Cause he wants to keep this thing going. The beach going. And it's, if I want to go and party on the beach and Cape Cod or whatever it is, It's your right. It's my right to get my legs bitten off while I'm having an ice cream and a frosty beer.

Yeah. Just as it's the shark's right to bare teeth and to- My right, my choice. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. First to dispatch my children on a Lilo into the blood soaked waters. Exactly. And if your leg happens to float its way towards the back door of Big Bill's

meaty beach buffet and wends its way into one of his burgers, then that's just capitalism just flourishing, isn't it? Yeah. If he wants to take that opportunity to grow the economy and grow his family and improve his business, fine. And it's someone else's choice if they want to have a burger with an ankle sticking out of it. Or if you want to get over the fact that you've lost your leg by eating your own leg. Eat my own leg. The suits from City Hall aren't going to be shutting me down. It's literally a foot long like, yeah, he's one of your Pingo agitators, basically. Which one's Rob Schneider? No, not he's the he's the sheriff. He's the

sheriff. He's come from the he's the hero. Yeah, he's come from New York City. Well, that's what you think. New York City full of its liberals. He initially tries to defeat the shark with jazz, doesn't he? It does. Which doesn't work. Just makes the shark more angry because the shark hates jazz. It's actually not Rob Schneider, is it? Is it? Which have we got right?

Is it the Schneider or the Rob that we've got? It's Roy Schneider. Roy Schneider. Yeah. Rob Schneider was in Juice Bigelow, Mel Jiglow. Yeah. Roy Schneider, New York exile. They say he doesn't understand this town.

He's trying to shut the beach down. Why has he been exiled? Is it because he's presumably because he accidentally killed a man because he was on the bottle and he shot his own partner in front of six children who he also shot because they were in the bottle. Because they, because Hollywood had already released 58 films that week with that backstory. Yeah. They decided against that.

And he just wanted to move with his family somewhere where there was a nice beach. Upsize? There's more sort of property. Just sort of upsizing. Just sort of upsize. Yeah. So even though he was enjoying the upsizing, but he did accidentally kill his mortgage advisor because he was on the burden.

He was on the edge. You never should have brought a gun to that mortgage meeting. But god damn it, I'm a cop. Give me a badge. And the other one. The blooper one. That you keep in your ankle, suck. And the one that says, I'm 38 today. Who's Quint? There's definitely someone called Quint in it.

Quint is, he's the fisherman. He's the, uh, he's the veteran. The sea dog. He was the guy who was on the, who's on the USS Indianapolis. A mission so secret they didn't even send out distress codes when the Hungarian torpedo hit us when we were sinking. And they were like, everybody's so dead you might as well just send us a bunch of croutons to pour in the ocean, because it's man and shark soup you're looking at here, baby.

I didn't literally mean it about the croutons. Stop by Lifting Croutons. Another shooting down the crouton plains, god damn it. That crouton pilot. God damn it. That crouton pilot was my best friend. What a senseless waste. Of course, 200 of the guys survived the shark and actually ended up dying from brain injuries from croutons falling from a great height. That's the irony of one of the ironies. Yeah, I mean, he's absolutely brilliant.

He was haunted man of the sea, who'd been screwed over by it by the man. But he describes Ben, there's this incident which happened in World War Two, where loads of them and he says, 259 people went into the ocean. 259 sharks came out. 259 sharks came out wearing their clothes and they now walk amongst us and one of them is president of the United States of America. America. America... America... America...

America... America... America... America... America... America... in New York City. Oh, just give up now. You'll never be an actor, mister. Clemens. Burgers. So I don't remember that. So is he saying that when his ship sank, there were lots of

sharks there? He was saying, his ship was delivering, he said that his ship was delivering the bomb. Basically the hottest woman in the history of the United States. It was the 70s. They were delivering a super hot chick. Weapons grade babe. Atomic babe that was going to be dropped onto the enemy. So he was delivering the bomb to where though? To wherever the airstrip was that had the bombers that was going to be dropped onto the enemy. So he was delivering the bomb to where though? To wherever the airstrip was that had the bombers that was going to drop it. Yeah, drop it on Japan.

So it was so secret no distress signal was sent. I see. So then when it sank, those are sharks turned up. Yeah, and 297 people went into the water and 475 people came out of the water. Depending on how you define a person. Old guys have been fishing in the water. Conditions are perfect. But why didn't he get eaten by a shark?

Is that what he's saying? Well, I guess he survived. It's basically for some reason they decided to give by a shark? Is that why he's saying? Well, I guess he survived. This basically, for some reason, they decided to give this guy a backstory as to why he hated sharks as opposed to just the usual reason, which is everyone just hates sharks because they're sharks. But this guy has a specific backstory about sharks. Because I've never been crossed by a shark or had an issue with a shark. I do hate sharks. Yeah. Because I'm a normal human. And no matter what they tell you,

sharks are evil. They should be wiped out. Definitely. They kill seals. I'm a big fan of seals. It's important that we make that clear. Our position on sharks along, same goes for spiders. Oh, they help get rid of flies. No, no, no. Sorry, you're wrong about spiders there. Spiders are our friends. Oh no, Mike's got a thing about spiders. Because Mike hates flies even more than you're supposed to. I will not clear a spider out of this house. I refuse.

Yeah. Absolutely. Why? Because they're helping you in your, in your aim to exterminate all flies. Yes. Well, have you heard Mike's backstory about flies? He, he, he did a, he tried upon it upon a picnic a few years ago. 14 people came into that picnic. No distress signals. No distress signals said because it was into that picnic. No distress signal.

No distress signal was said because it was just a picnic. Dead eyes, lifeless eyes. Well, those are, those are the eyes that I have. I always think of that. P people think of my, of that scene. Cause he describes the shark's eyes. Those lifeless eyes, those Henry Packer S guys. Come on, come on.

Bovine. Come on. Are you giving me bovine? I think more. Um, okay. What is that? What do you say? It's shark. That's that's French for shark. Is it? Okay. Okay. Nice word. What's the word for shark? I think I've got people say I've got shark guys, by the way, on top of shark guys, little important fact for our listeners to know if you get attacked by a shark, one of the ways you're supposed to deal with it is maintain eye contact. They become socially awkward and they invite you around for dinner, which neither of you want to go to, but it's just so awkward you have to end up going and it ends up telling it's more of an awkward friendship

with the shark. And you're eating another diver. You're eating another diver, probably your friend, colleague or relative generally of yours. You live in Taken Down. They say go for their eyes, don't they? Because I remember when I grew up, my brother had a shark book. This book almost had a kind of religious, not religious, I don't know. It was like, well, I suppose it was the equivalent of the Nikkani Khan. The Book of the Dead. For me, it had a kind of religious power. It was so terrifying. So everything else about my brother

was normal. He liked badminton. He liked, he did his homework and stuff. He listened to his Walkman and he also owned the book of the dead. Can I just say that every time you say necromania, you get it wrong. I don't know what the right way is. We always get like 20 and I think the people who complained about that, they've long gone though. Surely they can't bear it. Necromania skeptics. I didn't care about them.

I mean, I think it's important that we keep saying it wrong. They can keep sending in their comp-lonic claims, Necron. They're trying to trick us into saying it correctly and summoning the Necromancer. The Necromancer himself. Which we won't do. Or the Necronic on the novelist. By the way, something people definitely realize, you realize the necromancer got turned down by like 15 publishers. It's one of those things that really reminds

you to stick at it. Yeah, the sad thing is that the necromancer didn't know it would be success until long after his death and the death of thousands, thousands upon thousands of innocent souls that were burnt in the forge that created the Necronikon. Yeah, I think we're going to pass actually, but we really admire, you know, just stick at it, you know?

Would you be, do you think you'd be good at writing a recipe book for air fryers? Because there's a big market for that at the moment. It's ready cash. In a sense my book represents a human buffet in which mankind will boil and burn throughout the eons. Yeah, well it's got a sort of whimsical story about families of rabbits, things like that. And the Rompies Badgers, got that kind of stuff. I do have an idea about a free-floating eye with teeth. What about a personal memoir about the death of your parents grief and wild swimming? How

about that? Well I killed my parents with the bones of my uncles. Is that the kind of thing? No, but in terms of, yeah, so that this shark this shark, but was like, was like the Necronikon to me, right? It was an object of almost religious sort of reverence and terror that I held in equal measure, which is exactly what the Necronikon is going for. Yeah. Oh yeah. Which is like you want it, but you don't dare look in it.

Yeah. There's the, you're terrified about what you may summon. Exactly. Yeah. In the dead of night. Will you open up a chapter and it's just a big staircase. Yeah. Big wet staircase. And you end up being sucked into the staircase. And then you come back to life and you're, you now are the photo of the author of the Necronik on the inside back cover.

Yeah. And you're trapped in his photo forever. Yeah. And the blurb has changed to fit your biography. Yeah. At the age of seven. Yeah. Singularly unimpressive. But you have won the Costa award for best first book.

So yeah, things are in place for payment. I was hoping my advance. I would hope it would be something more along the lines of 70,000 horse skulls. And I will take my royalty in tears. So I used to open its pages and I would literally glimpse, I would so terrified of the photos and I would that glimpse just through like opening a crack in a door, you know, with one eye I would sort of peer into the book.

And there was one horrifying page that was just, just a blood soaked shark teeth, just row after row of teeth. But there was one, there was a great photo of a guy that had a huge shot, mouth shaped shark bite, shark mouth shaped bite over his body who'd survived. And he said in his thing, he'd reached the shark and encased his upper body in its mouth. I think that bit just will happen. There's no point fighting that bit. Shot comes towards you. You're going shark and encased his upper body in its mouth. I think that bit just will happen. There's no point fighting that bit.

The shark comes towards you. You're going to get encased. If anything, I'd say swim into its mouth because at least then you're in control of the narrative. So get your torso nice and wedged, front straight as you can into its mouth. And then what you do is you reach up with your arms. Of course, remember shark like a bird.'s eyes are on the side of its head. So you can reach both your arms up and if you can reach the eyes, just get your hands into the eye, just start from within the gob, you're saying you're

going to scratch the inside of your arms of onion, the older on the teeth. There may be some scratching Mike. I'm sorry to break this to you, but you could, you're up a body in the, in the mouth of a great water as well. That's gonna, it's gonna smart. You're in salt water as well. That's going to be smart. It's going to be stinging like Billy. There's going to be some stinging.

But basically you just have to punch away at the eyes, get your hands in, all the stuff that people automatically want to do when they see my eyes. You just want to get in there and just start looking at them because they're so dark they stare into you. They just stare into you. They harpoon those mothers. You just harpoon them because you're staring into the blackness in the heart of everything with these, aren't you?

The same with the shark. So you get your fists in their eyes, just grab onto them, mess around with them, give them a squish. Just get in there. Just get squishy with it. Does require some presence of mind. Does this guy claim that that's what he'd done? That's how he'd survived.

Yeah, that's how he'd survived. And I think the other one is punch him on the nose. What about shove a grenade in their gill? There we go. A gill grenade is good, but you'll be going down with that shot Ben, probably, if you're in its mouth. I'm that petty that I think I'd rather take it down. Go down with the shot. What if you really went for it? Swam right in so that almost

the teeth don't get you, you just go straight in. So all that's left then is your feet poking out. You get to shore and then you can walk around like sort of novelty shark on feet. Like do you know what I mean? With your head sticking out of its anus. Well in an ideal world, yes. Or cloaca or whatever it is they might have. Day of the Jingle. Welcome to the Kluwaka Zone. Punch out a couple of armholes. Yeah, exactly. You're basically a kid's party. You're basically a kid's party ready.

Great white poncho. Yeah. Or maybe you could like, there'd be a seafood restaurant that would want you to stand out the front. Yeah. I'm going to say for a maximum of three days, at which point you will start. Thinking of us with putrid. You will start thinking a little bit putrid. That's what I would do if I was that by a shark. Do you ever get great whites in Britain? They've never come this far. Have they? Not that I know of. It's a good like sort of tabloid summer stories, isn't

it? They'll see something and be on the front page. Yeah. I've got no idea. I've certainly never tried to answer that question. Maybe we've got a sharkologist who could tell us. Sorry, what question? Whether sharks got an anus? No, I'm confident the shark has an anus. You're confident the shark's got an anus? I'm confident. That's a big call. Thank you. Whether or not sharks have been in a great white spin in British waters.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. In living memory. Sorry, I'm just Googling does the shark have anus because I'm... Surely it's got an anus. It's got an anal fin. You're not going to name one of your fin, you're not going to name a fin an anal fin unless it's near an anus. It's got an anal fin. You're not going to name one of your fin, you're not going to name a fin an anal fin unless it's near an anus, surely. Okay, here we go. Digestive system of a shark. The stomach terminates at the pylorus, which

leads to the duodenum and then to the spiral valve. Oh, that sounds cool. The spiral valve is a coiled organ. It increases surface area so the nutrients can be absorbed. The spiral valve then empties into the rectum and anus and then into the cloaca. Wow. They've got everything going on. They've chosen all the extras. They've got all the options. They've got the cigarette lighter. No wonder people talk about them as like the perfectly evolved killer. Of course, they've got it all. Yeah, quite often they've got a lot of chambers to their stomachs,

haven't they? Because quite often you will find someone's leg, someone's arm, someone's head. A little rig. Yeah. I do know one thing I do know about sharks is that they they internally gestate. They're young. Is that right? Yes. In the same way that we do. Yeah. But but the sharks quite often eat each other in the womb. Good Lord. I think that sometimes happens. What a training ground. Ten sharks went in from the very get go, a fight to the death before

birth. And we'll be showing that on the screen three hours nonstop. And that's what I thought we could do at the at our book launch for the necraniac. I think I think that's right. They and then sometimes the mothers will eat the young, the young elite, the mother is that sort of that's that's that's one of the evil animals. So sharks are evil. I contend that spiders are evil. Spiders the kids eat the mother, the mother eats the brother. Everyone's eating each other.arks are evil. I contend that spiders are evil. Spiders, the kids eat the

mother, the mother eats the brother. Everyone's eating each other. Isn't it just evil? No, spiders are not evil. Spiders are pitiless. They're not evil, I'd say. So you admire a spider, Mike, for its pitilessness. I do admire a spider. Well, one thing which comes up in shark films quite a lot is something which quite often at some point someone in the film will say well of course in a way I do admire them yes because they're the perfect predator all they do is kill although if you do manage to stand on the beach then you're completely safe but otherwise the perfect killer or if you're on for example a raft or a boat, then you're completely safe. Completely safe.

Or nowhere near the sea at all. Or nowhere near the sea. Or a bridge. You're completely safe. And they could probably kill you, but think about it, they're quite fancy going in the sea, don't you? And they know that. Although you're safe up to about your own, certainly around the coast of most countries

in the world, you're pretty much safe all the time because they don't come into very shallow waters. But they're the perfect predator. They can kill with a left fin, they can kill with a right fin. They can kill with a glance. They can kill with an outfit and they're unencumbered by morality. Like, you know, guinea pigs and stuff have, don't they? The fact is all animals are the same. They're all, all they want to do is kill. Sharks are quite good at it. Just some of them want to kill cabbages. You mean?

Exactly. Yeah. Which are, which are alive. Cabbages are alive. They have cellular life. I remember when they, they found a really old shark that I think they thought might be the oldest living thing on earth. Maybe maybe oldest, not living things, obviously there's trees that are old, but you know, like oldest animal. And I remember in the paper, the thing they always led with was like, this shark remembers Henry VIII. And you go, no, it doesn't. It had absolutely no anecdotes. That was what was so disappointing about it. You remember? Because they had anecdogists from all around the world gathered. They thought we're going to get the best anecdotes of all time here.

He literally didn't raconte anything, did he? Were you there at the singing of the Mary Rose then? I didn't, I, no, I was, um, I was actually around Madagascar at the time. It was just, I had a lovely summer, but it was quiet. Nothing really. I was mainly just doing sort of following my instincts, mainly just instinct stuff, I think. He's in trouts.

Just, yeah. And is it still living? I think so. I stuff, I think. He's a trout. Just, yeah. And is it still living? I think so. I think so, yeah. So it remembers, it remembers when he'd get a pint in London for less than £7. Hats off to Sharknado, probably. There's a a film recommendation I've not seen it I've not seen sharknado it's it's a shameless piece of cinema it's an awful lot of fun good so I've seen sharks right I've seen sharks when I've been snorkeling a few times. I've seen anything called black tip reef sharks, which are, they're basically, they're just like fun sized sharks. They're about the

size, two and a half times the size of your average small dog. Yeah. Okay. It's about the size of a large dog. Not quite. Three quarters, three quarters of a large dog. Three quarters. Oh, yeah. Three quarters of two large dogs, depending on how you want it. But only lengthwise. But six eighths, but not three quarters. It's whatever's clear to you. So three quarters of one dog or six eighths of two dogs.

You're saying? Yeah. Language is just whatever makes it clear to you. But the important thing is it's only lengthwise. So imagine a large dog that could fit in probably like an, I'd say. But the width of probably two and a half medium dogs. You think?

Well, no, but you're having to fit the dog into a tube that's about, so in diameter, I'd say twice the width of your average sewage pipe on the outside of a Victorian building. Okay. So of a medium sized town? Of a medium sized town. Yeah. No, so it's because they're lengthways.

They don't really have much width size, but they're quite long. But you know what, they're about twice the size, probably about 10 times the size of a toy shark. But not the inflatable ones? Not the inflatable ones. It's quite hard to imagine how big that is. God, if only someone had invented some sort of unit for legs. You only go to a foreign hotel and they've got like a weirdly round pillow.

No. It's like a sausage shaped pillow. Okay, two and a half times the radius of that? Okay. Sausage dog, expand it in all proportions three times. So it's just a big sausage dog? Well, hang on, the legs will be massive now relatively. Oh God!

Run away! Tell me in British supermarketmarkets baguette. Okay, easy. Imagine you're trying to recreate a kind of World War Two style Gatling gun out of baguette. So you probably put about nine of them in a circle. That's about how big it is, actually. That's about that big. It's quite hard to tell how big they are, these shocks, because one thing I noticed, one thing I noticed about them is they've got it, they've basically, they've got, they've got it. They've got a glamour. They've got like, you just, when you see them, it's like,

fucking hell. You just can't look, you can't look at anything else. They've got an absolute X factor. These things, they've got a kind of, there's just a sinister quality to the way they roam. They've kind of, they've got a different energy to all the other fish. Oh, we've all, we've all known guys like that, right? Yeah. But it's not, it's not often that three of them get together and do a podcast and then two of them leave because they're from the original lineup and then replaced by Mike and Ben.

Is it? And then two of them leave because they from the original line up and then replace by Mike and Ben So one thing I noticed about which really interesting is the way they look like They look like an accident of the light. They look like they're not they're not even real They look like they're not there because they're so well camouflaged that from the top They look like the bottom of the bottom of the sea has seen from the top. Hmm, and from the top, they looked like the bottom of the sea as seen from the top. And from the bottom, they look like the top of the sea as seen from the bottom. Like the way you'd paint a Spitfire. So they're green on top and then grey underneath, aren't they? Yeah, and with a big sort of bullseye insignia on each side.

That's right, yeah. And then like a sort of 50s style pinup painted at the front. No, but they've got, so basically from the bottom they're light because the surface of the ocean looks light from below and from the top they just kind of look dark. So they look like a kind of, they look a bit like Predator in the Predator films. You know, like does it look like just light is moving. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? But you look at the light and it's in the shape and it's the shape of pure death. That's right. It's death itself. Death made fish. Yes, that's right. Death made fish. So when you were in recently on holiday in Sri Lanka and you went snorkeling, was that the kind of place where there was someone in charge and they would tell you that it

was okay and these sharks aren't going to eat you? Or is that something you had to work out yourself? Well, what was great about it was not from far from where we were staying, you take a little boat out and all there was was this deserted little rocky outcrop with two to three thousand people on it and probably about 300 boats all floating around. And a Burger King. A really, really great Burger King. So what was the question, Ben, that really understand it?

Were you supervised and was that, was someone there saying- You're supposed to know if there's like a sort of harpoon sheriff. Yeah, like, or was someone saying, you know, if you see a shark this big, you probably need to be worried, but these ones are fine. No. Do you know what I mean? No. There was no, no, because I think, I think, I think the good thing about the 2000, 3000

people is that the sharks are just like- It's absolutely buffet for a shark, isn't it? It's too much of a good thing almost. So you're just snorkelling but you're also just punching anything with an eyeball in the eyeball, as you can see basically. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Thrashing through the water. But crucially putting your head in the mouth first and then going for the eyes.

Yeah, and with the small fish, often just putting my head in the mouth kills them. No, because these aren't these are these are known to be basically I think the truth about the big great whites and stuff that you know that they're gentle giants and I know they're not actually but they you know they just they don't come to these busy areas I think it's just some reason to know but there was there was no there was no chance of seeing a great white or a huge shark but so it's actually what you want you were desperately wanting to see a shark. And when you see one,

it's amazing. They'd rather bag a sea lion. Exactly. Exactly. According to this website, I've just found the last shark attack in Sri Lanka was recorded in 2004. There you go. It was about time for another one when you was actually. That's what we're looking at. It's one of those things, Shark Attack, where statistically it's so unlikely, isn't it? But it's such a viscerally unpleasant way to die that that person who was attacked in 2004, they had such a shit time while that was happening that it just permeates the culture as a fear. They didn't die, in fact, this person.

They were 11 years old, no injury. Whereas in 1950 on the 1st of January a man called Abu Baker went shark fishing, had his buttock removed and the species possibly a lemon shark. Really? And it removed his buttock? That's going to stay with me. Can you survive without a buttock? It says here that in the 20th century, a man called Rodney Johnclass was collecting ornamental fish in an Eastern province of Sri Lanka when a blacktip reef shark. Oh, wow. That's the one. You're the short was completely safe though. Attacked him. There was no injury and he beat off the shark with his collecting net.

So it doesn't sound particularly. That is extraordinary. I find it extraordinary that that has made the annals of history. Yes. That someone's bothered to write that down. It's survived to this day. Yeah. Yeah, no injury. I saw a really tiny shark came near me and nothing happened. And I hit it with my net and it went away.

Cue immortality. That is weird, isn't it? Well, I remember the name Rodney John Cl forever. Right. Sharks. Final thoughts. Can't live with them. Probably could live with it without them. No, no, I know the sharks. They're obviously part of the ecosystem. It's important without sharks. No one would eat one in 6,000 divers. Too many divers. They would eat too many muesli bisque muesli bars, wouldn't they?

Then there wouldn't be enough muesli bars. Well that leads to intensive farming, doesn't it? Then you're over farming the muesli, aren't you? And then the whole ecosystem. Polluting the rivers. Polluting the rivers. That then means that people can't go wild swimming, they look for some other sort of aquatic pursuits.

What do they get into? They get into diving. It's an awful cycle. It's a terrible, terrible cycle. Well thank you, Jarks. Thank you, Jacques. Thank you, Dan from Bremen. Thanks for your good work. And also thanks for being that rare thing, which is both the most deadly predator on earth, the most terrifying, amoral killer that thinks of nothing but disemboweling and chomping on the faces of any other living being. That's what it cares about. Most terrifying, just a literal metaphor for death. For being that

and for being quite popular with as a toy for kids. Yeah, or just an unusual choice of steak. Go with just a simple bit of lemon. Keep it simple. Bit of spinach. This episode of Three Bean Salads is dedicated to the memory of Rodney Johnclass. Let's read your emails. When you send an email, you must give thanks to the postmasters that came before. Good morning, postmaster! Anything for me? Just some old shit. When you send an email, this represents progress Like a robot shooing a horse

Take me your horse My beautiful horse! You can email us at 3beansaladpod at gmail.com This is from Andy. Hello Andy. Hi Andy. Recently I found myself watching the hit BBC show World's Most Dangerous Roads, in which I was startled to see TV's Mike Wozniak driving across the wilds of Namibia. Indeed. Arid, weather-beaten and showing signs of neglect, Mike did the best he could in trying

circumstances. Namibia, meanwhile, looked beautiful. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage the old switcheroo. Okay, yes, I see what you're saying. Yeah, you're saying that. What? I thought you were trying to say that. Oh, he's gone the other way around. He means that. Oh, that's what he meant. What he said before wasn't actually, I thought now he's gone the other way around with it. Oh God. It's the old switcheroo.

It was a crisp one. I've got a lot of time for that, Andy, thanks. Because usually most switcheroo's these days, the fashion is very much for a very, very, very long winded switcheroo. Which is Kazza's place, it's great fun. But that was, I mean, so snappy that... I mean, the switch had hardly been established before it was, which has its place, is great fun. But that was so snappy that. I mean, the switch had hardly been established before it was a rood, wasn't it? Yeah. You were barely, yeah. So it was Clement. But it takes a huge amount of switcheroo confidence, I think, to do that. Yeah. And a huge amount of work because that would have, he'd have whittled it down to

that when it would have been a lot longer. The economy of language. The economy is stunning. New bandages in the post. Okay. This is from Mark. Hello Mark. Henry's doing a great job with his anecdotes and comedy. Thanks mate.

But I'd like to see more Henry Packer bass baritone singing, if that's available. Yeah. I do think it bass baritone. It's more like it's subcontrabass. It's kind of, it's earth woofer. It vibrates actually, um, certain, um, bowels. It's earth woofer. It vibrates actually certain... Bowls.

Owls and certain African prairie dogs. I'd said bowls, but yeah, I agree also with... Owls. So it's owls. Owls, bowls, cows, fowls. And jowls. So Simon, and Simon Cowell, unfortunately owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, owls, bass little song I've been I've been singing to myself recently. This one you used to clean submarines. It's the one I use. It's the one I used to clean the propellers of submarines like a big one. The rest of submarine is most of it's

just cleaned by traditional hoovers and Jeff. Just move it through the water a bit. Yeah, get to move through the water is constantly rinsed. And a bit of your cow on the on the torpedoes. And you're golden generally. Ben, I know you've done a brilliant Gementus jingle, haven't you? I think that would have debuted in last week's episode. But just to help explain that Gementus does mean smelling of horse piss, here it is again. Gementus, Gementus, it's a word that heaven sent us, to define the whiff of a horse's piss so we describe

that sent for us. But the my subcontrabass little tone song I'd like to do is about is about, um, German to because it's something I sing to myself sometimes. Okay. Yeah, because it is. Oh, what a tremendous morning. Oh, what a tremendous day. morning. Oh, what a jumentous day. I've got a jumentous feeling. Horse piss is coming my way.

Happy with that, Mark? Is that what Mark was after? I think Mark's Christmas has come early for Mark. Make that into a ringtone, Mark. Horse piss is coming my way. Big orchestral sweep. Yeah. Is that the opening of the musical? Tremendous, tremendous, tremendous, tremendous, horse piss, horse piss everywhere, horse piss, horse piss in my hair.

This feels like the final number, I would say, when everyone's running into the streets and kicking through puddles of horse piss. Can canning it all over the place. And you get a reprise of the horse piss overture from the beginning, which is 2000 horses pissing onto timpani drums. Yeah, exactly. And what is the plot of this musical? Gementus, three exclamation marks. That's what it's called. It's about a Southern belle.

A piss stinking Southern belle. Stinking Southern belle. Comes into the big city for the first time. Comes into the big bad city. Yeah, and everyone shuns her for stinking of piss, but she's like, but back in the country, this is what people like. This is how, yeah, this is what we wash with. And they forgot the old ways in the big city.

But then she falls in love with a horse penis surgeon. With his cloak of many horse penises. Cloak of many horse penises. He should already be betrothed to, um, to someone in the elite and the urban elite. Yes. But maybe she's also entered like a beauty contest, but she has no hope of winning because she's judged on odor alone. But she basically needs to convince the town that the smell of horse

piss is a beautiful smell. Cause what they've been used to is just the what? Well, they've moved on to the motor car, Mike. This is a set in the early days of the Model T Ford, right? So is it? Okay. Yeah. So this is what this is all about.

It's about modernity encroaching on the American South. And of course the cars are replacing the horses. Exactly. Aren't they? And petrol fumes are replacing the traditional more Germanic smells. So there'd be a song about car piss, wouldn't there? Yeah. Cause the piss of the piss, The petrol is the piss of the car. And then

of course the main plot then revolves around cause he tries to create a kind of Franken, a Franken horse, doesn't he? Which is halfway between a horse and a car. I saw Sir Hoggley. I sort of felt like a Sir Hoggley, but a Sir Horsley. And the end is a bit like, is it, is it Hamlet at the end? It's a bit like, so they all, they all drink what they think is lemonade, but it's actually horse piss. Well, Henry, you remember Henry, what Henry did for his degree. He's going back to the very early folios.

Very early folios. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cause all his early work was sponsored by horse piss. It's very commercial. But originally he was drinking horse piss out of Yorick's skull, wasn't he?

That was the big moment. Yeah. This is from Luke. Hello, Luke. A few weeks ago I subscribed to your Patreon. Thank you. A worth-filing investment to give me access to countless hours of previously listened to bean content.

I recently put this to good use when I took a 48-hour round trip from London to Sydney in business class. Oooooh. We've got a high roller. Blimey. Round trip? 48 hours? I assume he would have got off.

He must have stopped off there. Surely. At least walk around the airport. During which I listened to the aforementioned backlog of extra bean content for the entire journey. My word. Are you aware of the, there's a modern concept of raw dogging a flight? I am aware of that.

It's totally crazy. Didn't Harland do it? Harland, the Manchester City footballer, Harland proudly talks about how he can sit on a 14 hour flight just to not listen to any music. Not watching any films. Not going to the toilet. Is that part of it? I don't know. But just staring straight ahead at him.

It's a thing now that is competitive sort of this one-upmanship about to what degree you can raw dog a flight. The only thing you're allowed to watch Mike is that little animated tiny little plane going across the world. Yeah. I like that though. I can get lost in that for a long time. Yeah.

You could raw dog a flight. I bet Mike could raw dog a flight. Yeah. You could, you could raw dog. I mean, I'm not including the toilet thing. I'm taking toilet breaks. I can't even raw dog brushing my teeth. Like, but I know I can't, I listen to radio podcasts and stuff.

I'm brushing my teeth with Mike. It's about having literally no inner life. It's not having a calm and peaceful inner life. No, because Mike, there's nothing going on in there. When Mike isn't talking to us, it's just on stand, it's not even on standby. It's unplugged the telly. It's shark brain, isn't it? It's shark brain. There's no little red light.

It's basic instinctive stuff. He will flee from fire, he'll flee from heat. I want to feel, if I feel the heat. If he feels it. But that's the kind of stimulus that he's interested in at that point. But Mike, do you genuinely think you could rawdog a flight? Yeah, with no issue at all. Wow. I've done it on, there's been plenty of times when I've on a long drive or a train journey

or whatever, I've just gone, do you know what? I'm just going to shut this all off. But you're so right gone, I'm just gonna shut this all off. But you're so right, Ben. I can't raw dog brushing my teeth. I have to have input data. I have to have data. Data needs to be getting processed at all times. Yeah, me too. I've got little hamsters, isn't it? We've got the hamsters going around. Whereas Mike is like, Mike's like a dead

hamster. That's just sort of a fetid, but it's been dead for so long it doesn't even smell anymore. It's just like powder, just like a powdered hamster, isn't it? At the bottom of a wheel and the wheel doesn't turn anymore. It's becoming completely encrusted on its head. It's been locked up for safety reasons. The mechanism has been sealed in. Luke continues, in addition to the likely permanent damage to my brain caused by such

unrestricted access to Henry's ramblings, I believe this business trip may put me in the running for the world record for most environmental damage caused whilst listening to Three Bean Salad. Let me know if slash when I can collect my frame certificate. All the best Luke. What Luke doesn't know about is my listening and tire burning parties. I wasn't going to announce that I've been doing them on this secret just to pilot them, but I will be making them public soon. Yeah. There's also Henrin, my listening mmm sewage processing plant sabotage symposium. That's right.

They're a lot of fun. And also actually this, I think it's this Friday, I'm doing one of my, um, my listen mmm carpet bombing of koalas Fridays. So Luke, I think, you know, good, good try. Um, you know, but, uh, we're way ahead of you. We're way ahead of you. Sorry, Luke. It's time to pay the ferryman. Patreon, Patreon.

Thank you. patreon.com forward slash three bean salad. You get access to our bonus episodes, our Film Corner Film Review podcast. You get ad-free episodes and if you sign up at the Sean Bean tier, you get a shout out from Mike from the Sean Bean Lounge where Mike spent the whole weekend. I certainly did. And it had to be weekend because it was the annual Let's Maintain the Sean Bean Lounge hydroelectric power station.

Weekend. It certainly was. Thank you, Ben. And here's my report. the Sean Bean Lounge hydroelectric power station? Weekend? It certainly was. Thank you Ben. And here's my report. It was Let's Maintain the Sean Bean Hydroelectric Power Station weekend this weekend at the Sean Bean Lounge. While Helen Lees and Moses Gale were pigging an external pipeline, they noticed a small blemish in the dam wall, caused when JD Kirk, Kim Lilley and Rob Trueschel from Ohio used it to play Ohio Fall-style semi-aquatic squash with Red Billet and Axel and Emily. Christopher Hardison skittered up the dam to inspect the blemish more closely and summoned the vision of Matt Battler, the

strength of Nancy Reedus-Emore, the courage of Suze Molyneux, the judgment of Richard Lucas and the B&Q all-in-one wall scanner of Graham Hollingsworth. This revealed this section of the dam wall was inherently weak, and an on-the-spot inquiry led to Adam S. confessing that he had deliberately bought cheaper concrete than budgeted for and used the spare change to fund Katie Duckworth and Nick Saunders' new start-up, which is an app that tells you what Rick Astley would be doing right now

if he wasn't doing what he is doing. Private investors to the start-up included Comedy Gremlin, Illyn Victoria, Joe Bromfield and Rory McMahon, all of whom are currently languishing in the Sean Bean Lounge debtors jail after the company went bust with knock-on effects that included all Peruvian pensions being cancelled for the next 50 years. Meanwhile at the blemish, Welsh Lee felt confident he could fix it from the back but hadn't brought his Scuba Handyman kit,

so borrowed what he could from Ben Maxwell and Chris, but they'd been planning to teach a Collins's guinea pig to scuba dive and had only brought miniscule air tanks. Welsh Lee rushed the job therefore and managed to turn the blemish into a puncture. On the dry side, Grant Tildesley bravely stemmed the flow of water by inserting his nose, but Barry Hutchinson's aftershave made him sneeze and the puncture became a hole. Daniel McCollum shoved his fist into the hole but too hard, effectively punching the hole and turning it into a bigger hole. Lees, Leanne Hobden, Stephen Davies and Dan Holt conducted a thorough emergency debate on the merits of using body parts to plug broken dams versus calling a dam plumber and we await their conclusions with interest. In the meantime, Matthew Apostoloff pointed out the flow of water through

the unstable hole was making it steadily larger, a situation not helped by Dan Draper, Rothcatt, Rosie Grant and Sonia Shaw using it as a flume and causing further erosion. Emily Hazelhurst, Lola and Tess, thinking quickly, shoved Alex Powles, Nick Skews and Matthew Pulfreyman into the hole and commissioned Rebecca Gleeson to make a flume closed sign. Peter realised this would be a temporary fix only, panicked and zipped himself into a waterproof hiking bag. Robot Moff Puchapsky decreed that a permanent fix was needed and that the only solution

was that the entire dam wall should be laminated. James and Alex were dispatched to the Sean Bean Mega Rymans, where Tom Machin was on duty, and demanded the biggest maxi-structure laminator on offer. Regrettably, Will Cooper had already bought the large wall laminator, as he and Kate Pig Zanola had been commanded to make the Sean Bean bouldering centre wipe clean. The next best choice was somewhat larger and designed to laminate off-season skiing resorts. Don McGowan and Kate Buckley lined up the Titanic piece of stationary equipment at the foot of the dam, and Harry Longmore activated it with panache, but unfortunately without warning the people left inside. The dam was fixed, although it can no

longer generate electricity, so this week we're going to finally plug in Sean Bean's very own homemade Thermal Neutron nuclear reactor. Thanks all. Okay, let's finish the show with a version of our theme tune sent in by one of you. This is from Matthew in Swanhaven. Thank you Matthew. Which is on the south coast of New South Wales, Australia. Dear beans, I've been listening to the podcast for some time now and have not yet heard a scar interpretation of the theme tune.

Oh nice. My attempt to create one is attached. All the best, Matthew from Swanhaven. Well there now and have not yet heard a scar interpretation of the theme tune. My attempt to create one is attached. All the best, Matthew from Swanhaven. Well there we are. Thank you Matthew and thanks everyone for listening. Thank you very much. Bye! Cheerio! So So Music