Threedom - Boom Boom Acka Lacka Boom Boom

Episode Date: March 14, 2024

Paul, Lauren, and Scott discuss walking the dinosaur, unexpected apologies, and kitchen catchphrases before playing Realty Bites. Follow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Freedom!

Scott, I thought I told you to clear out these Christmas candies! Scott, we have asked you a million times. Southern Comfort jars? I'm supposed to chomp into this and get alcohol? Is there Scott, we have asked you a million times. Southern comfort jars. I'm supposed to chomp into this and get alcohol. Jar is there actual Southern comfort in these? Why did you say jars?

Cause it's like a bottle. It's like a bottle. Yeah, so I said jars. Oh my God, I drank half a jar of wine last night. Well, I'm a hick. I'm a hick. Okay, it's chocolate. You have to bite this. No.

You have to bite this. I don't and I won't. It's 10 a.m. You have to bite this. I pre-know that those are disgusting. It might be alcohol. Why did you unwrap it first? Because who wants this? Lauren.

No one. You've lost your mind. It's 10 in the morning. I'm saying nobody wants it. You don't have to unwrap everything that's in front of you. Yes I do. All right, whatever. I'm just curious, okay?

I'm a curious little George. Good defense. All right, whatever. Do you want me to unwrap this? I'm going to unwrap this. I'm going to unwrap this. I'm going to unwrap this. I'm going to unwrap everything that's in front of you. Yes I do! All right, whatever. I'm just curious, okay? I'm a curious little George. All right, whatever. Do you want me to bite into it really?

Yeah. And you want me to report back as to what's inside? I would like you to keep talking. Can we talk about Curious George and have a frank discussion about that? I have a lot to say about that. Okay, first of all, let's introduce ourselves. My name's Scott.

My name is also Scott. And I'm also Lauren. Okay, then I'm Paul. Okay, Curious George, actually, because I've been reading some of his texts sure His texts his text you Take the sacred texts his sacred texts. What's going on in there? It tastes like alcohol Well, I just I'm going on in there. I did your mouth I bit the neck off the bar the jar rather did the juice come out no juice yet. Hold on

You gotta drink the juice Drink the juice come out? No juice yet, hold on. Oh, my banana! You gotta drink the juice. You gotta drink the juice, Shelby. Ha ha ha, still haven't seen it. Guys, I actually did see it. What is Shelby? Drink your juice, Shelby. Steel manonias. Yeah, which I always mix up with fried green tomatoes,

and I haven't seen fried green tomatoes. Oh, you should do scott has, oh no, we already did. No. I only do one movie on your show and it's once a year. You've never asked me to do Scott hasn't seen. He's drinking alcohol out of chocolate right now. This guy's a maniac. He's out of his mind. Why are you doing that?

I mean, it definitely tastes like it, but it doesn't have the bite of it. So I think it's just flavored. That's nasty and horrid. Well, you wanted me to do it. Well, I'm glad you did. I just think why do these exist? Who wants the flavor of alcohol without the fun? Drunks. Drunks just want the flavor? Drunks in the former. Drunks in the former.

No, I'm sure there are many sober people who enjoy the flavor of alcohol. Anyways, Curious George, one thing I really dislike about the books and I'm... He's too curious. He's just always getting into everything. Although I thought he was bi-curious. Anyways, Curious George, one thing I really dislike about the books, and I'm... He's too curious. He's just always getting into everything. Although I thought he was bi-curious. He might be. I was like...

The one thing he's not curious about, George is very heteronormative. He's obsessed with being straight. He's like, there are two genders. On the last page of every Curious George book, he goes, as always, when is the straight pride parade? Is that the title of this week's episode? No, no, absolutely not.

No, no. And just for record, I now pick the titles. So yes. Oh my God. That's right. I have so much power. New regime. The George books start in a way that bothers me.

It will just say, here's George's friend. This is George's friend, the man with the yellow hat. Who's George? Like they jump in, in a way that they don't set up. George was a curious monkey. He lived with his best friend, the man with the yellow hat. I'm like, they'll just be like, the man with the yellow hat said, hey, George.

I'm like, who are we? Where are we? What's going on? Here's what I say. Okay. I think this is dynamic storytelling. You do, you think? Because you are saying, who's George?

Yeah. And you're saying, who's George? Yeah. And you're curious. Oh my God. Oh, that's what the curious in the title were fucking to. They fucking got me. They got me. So we just understood now finally. So now I relate to George because I'm curious.

You're like, what the fuck is going on with this book? Yes. I'm like, who's the man with the yellow hat? And what's his sexuality? I do wonder. I do. You never see him with a partner. He seems gay, but you know, he's at work.

He's at work. They live together. I just read a whole thing. They had a Valentine's party at their house. All the neighborhood kids. I for some reason, I thought the man with the yellow hat was a zookeeper. He's an explorer, isn't he? He found George and he took him back to America. Oh, shit. Which is why do I remember this?

I don't know. It's been 50 years since I've read any secret texts. There's one text where George helps the woman bake a cake. The woman, who's she? Who's the woman? I don't fucking know, but there was sexual tension with the man in the old hat and the woman. Really?

Where I was like, they're gonna fuck after this. Cause she lost her. But George felt uncomfortable and left the room. George makes a crazy mess. George saw some things he shouldn't have seen. and the woman's necklace gets baked into the cake Of course George is eating the cake when he shouldn't but he finds the necklace so it's kind of like and then the man with the old hat has a bunch of cake to and He also has a bunch of cake. He eats a bunch of cake and maybe

Like a jar full they'd be like a mason jar of cake That actually does sound great How much is a bunch? Like a jar full? They eat like a mason jar of cake. That sounds delicious. That actually does sound great. If there's any company out there sponsoring podcasts that does mason jars full of cake. Cake in a jar? A lot of people do that. Where you have to break the jar to get the cake. Sorry!

You smash the jar, you get down on all fours. You smash the jar, you get down on all fours! You start biting until you... Everybody wants the dinosaur! Oh my god, I used to love that song. Why? Smash the jar, get down on all fours. Is it the subject matter about walking a dinosaur? I loved it because when I was five,

I went to Disney World and we went to the parade and the dinosaurs from the show were in the parade singing and dancing to that song. From the show dinosaurs. Yeah. What a great time. Those two things happened at once. They were together. It wasn't on purpose? No, I think it was an accident. It was like a laboratory accident. I thought that was their song. No, they spilled the

song onto a TV. And that's how the TV show happened. The brother was hot. Let's just all say it. The brother was hot. What, the dinosaur brother? You have a history of liking... Reptiles. This turtle, this teenaged mutant ninja turtle. Michelangelo I was attracted to, Kermit I was attracted to. Hold on. But they all looked alike, right? So it was the voice and the personality that got you? I attracted to green. Then you should have loved all of them.

Well... What about Oscar the Grouch? He's so rude and it's so hot. He's real alpha. And the green M&M is the horny one, so I guess it all makes sense. Remember how that was a thing? Yeah. I mean, not just recently, like I feel like.

When we were children. Yeah, I was like always sad. Remember during our M&M's taste test episode, we all got horny when we ate green ones. Well, we did. Yeah. We did some off mic. Fucking.

But with the M&M's, with M&M's, like what's so good about it is that each color does something else to you. So it's like when you eat a bunch of them, you get a little horny, but then you get a little smart. You get a little, like there's other things that happen. Yeah, if you eat the blue and you get depressed. Brown is smart. Brown is smart.

There's the title. And they should never have gotten rid of tan. Let me, yeah, it was a nice option. It was, because it's like, I don't want a brown. I mean, I want a brown one, but I don't want the whole. Because that brown one was so dark. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Let's just lighten it up just a little bit. Do you remember when there was the competition to choose the new color? You could call in. Do you remember? You would send in a paint chip. You could call in both. Do you remember when Pantone got so pissed? Like, this is our domain!

Why do they pick a color every year? Who cares? They have nothing else to do. They're sitting around just waiting for it every year. Yeah, all they're doing is giving out little cards with colors on them. They're like, look, this year's color is jade. And it's like, we don't do anything with that information. How often do you paint your house?

Every day. Yeah. Same, same. Every day. The entire exterior. I w I okay. I have a few things. Okay.

What do you first of all, I would love to paint the house a different color, but it seems like such a gigantic undertaking. It is, but you don't do it. I know, but it has to be done. If you were a real man, you would do it. Yeah, that's true. If you'd get out there on your fucking ladder and just do it, you'd fucking do it.

Yeah, you could do it and probably. I think that would make me start smoking again. Yeah. If I had to paint my house. Honestly, if I saw you outside in like a white tank, I'm not gonna call it by its old name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're. Painter's pants.

And you're wearing painter's pants. No, I'm wearing a painter suit. You're wearing a painter suit. I'm wearing gonna call it by its old name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're- Painter's pants. And you're wearing painter's pants. No, I'm wearing a painter's suit. You're wearing a painter's suit. I'm wearing like Gabbardine slacks with a belt. Oh, I love that. I love that. And then you have a cigarette. Dress shoes.

Your jar of alcohol is like strewn on the floor next to you on the ground. I don't have like a can of Bud or something. Okay, well you do, you're holding a Bud can, but you already drank whatever. By the way- You drank Colt 45. Invention idea. Colt 45, Jesus Christ. Invention idea just came to me. I thought that's what this was, but you already drank whatever. By the way. You drank Colt 45. Invention idea.

Colt 45, Jesus Christ. Invention idea just came to me. I thought that's what this was, but it's something else, 43. Just came to me. A thing you put around your beer can that can hold your cigarette. It's like a circular thing you put around your beer can,

and it has like a little container, or a little slit for your cigarette. A slit? So that you can paint. Are you describing an ashtray around a beer can? Not an ashtray necessarily, but something that will help because you know how when you're painting and you're holding a beer, if you have a cigarette,

you gotta hold it in your mouth the entire time. Well yes, but that's kind of a skill. That's the classic thing. But what if you wanted to just put it in this little thing that's attached to your beer, then you could just go. Okay, but so is it's it's horizontal alongside the beer I don't know what direction it's in probably a degree angle okay when I smoked I used to love just holding the cigarette in my mouth it's cool I

thought it was I thought it was smoking is not cool so it's not boys nice it's not there was a period where it was I look at it now and I think it's I can't I'm I I came out so far on the other side that I look at it now and I think it's I can't I'm I I came out so far on the other side that I look at It it looks no matter who it is. I think it's crazy I see anyone even if it's like a really hot person. Yeah Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so you really believe that especially Yeah, like Mary Kate or Ashley Olsen. Oh my god Mary Kate and or Ashley or or yeah, not and or and or yeah, that's right. Is that weird?

OK, and or right, right. But then they also have indoor. It's like, what are we doing? You guys think when is indoor coming? This might this might this question might start. Star Wars takes place mainly indoors. Have you ever noticed that? Boy, that's true. I've only noticed that.

It was a big deal when they went outside for the first time and they all like died because they couldn't breathe. Just going outside. Not even into space. It's like oh my god, there's no atmosphere on this planet. They are in space. We are too, Bane. Everything's in space. Did I just blow your mind? Whoa, I never thought of it like that. Have a couple jars of condoms.

Am I like a little ball in the sky? Can I talk about everybody walked a dinosaur and what it makes me think of every time? Yes, please. First of all, I have not heard that song, I think, since it was out. So who wrote that? Was not was. I thought it was done by cavemen and dinosaurs. I honestly like you.

I thought it was performed by cavemen, actual cavemen and dinosaurs. I honestly like you I thought it was performed by cavemen Dinosaurs, that's who I saw perform it and I felt like it made sense That's who you saw perform it wait cavemen to yeah, I got like a boom boom. I forgot about that part Well, this is a remake by Queen Latifah. Oh, thanks from the Ice Age dawn of the dinosaur. Oh wow, we did it recently Anyway, let it play a little bit Oh, thanks from the Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaur. Yasss Queen. Oh wow, we did it recently. Anyway. Let it play a little bit. This is a remix of that song or? Remake.

A remake. Yes. Very different from a remix. This is Queen Latifah. You're right. You think Queen Latifah's out there just remixing songs and this is a rema- I don't know what she does when she's off of equalizers. You said it was for a movie.

I'm sorry, we want to hear the chorus. I'm sorry, we want to hear the chorus. Get on the floor. Everybody want the dinosaur. Get on the floor. The dinosaur. And out. So, years ago when I was starting out in stand up comedy, I did a show in, God, what was

it? It was like Ocean City, Maryland or something. You did a show in the butt? This is a classic. Do you remember how we were convinced that was an urban legend? Right. I still am. Is it real?

They showed the clip. They got receipts. I need to know what you're talking about. Okay, the newlywed game. Supposedly, and now Paul says it's real. Where's the craziest place to make whoopies? Where's the craziest place you made whoopies? Strangest place you made whoopies. In the butt. In the butt, Bob? In the butt, Bob. Who said it? A woman said it, and she did not say Bob. She just said in the butt Bob the put Bob who said it who's at it a woman said it and she did not say Bob She just said in the butt That's the best that's honestly. That's like how every family feud answer is no Family feud has gotten so filthy

Family's watching you can't kiss people anymore, but we're gonna make it disgusting There was one answer that was like where's like what's, what's the man's favorite part of woman? And it was like, Dairy Pillows. I'm like, are we? Was that the episode we were on? I think so. Yeah. I don't know if that was the question, but yeah. Dairy Pillows.

So I was doing the show, I was the MC of the show, and the headliner was this dude, I won't say his name. Okay. But he was just like a hacky club dude, I won't say his name. Okay. But he was just like a hacky club dude, but his big closer was, I think this was his closer, he would get somebody up out of the audience to do some sort of dance to Walk the Dinosaur. And under what pretense, if you don't mind me asking?

I don't remember how he got into it. I'm imagining him saying, hey, I want someone from the crowd to come up and dance to Walk the Dinosaur. Yeah. I'm sure it started with like, hey, you know that song, Walk the Dinosaur? And everyone was like, yes, we all know that song. We know it and love it! The Queen Latifah remix.

It's a current song that we're enjoying. And so he would always get like an attractive woman out of the audience to do this with him. How are there, why are attractive women going to stand up shows? I don't know. They should be out there having sex. Not going to stand up. Do you think women should be having sex

instead of thinking and laughing? Well, here's the thing. Here's the thing. One night, this was like a three night gig, a weekend gig, and one night, the woman that he got out of the crowd, he convinced to go back to the hotel with him. I don't think that's uncommon.

No, it's not. So this is the whole reason he's doing it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So this is the whole reason he's doing it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. So if it happened one of the three nights when you were with him, that's usually his ratio. 33% of the time. I would think so, yeah.

He'll find someone to come back to his hotel. And so I remember he, we were supposed to be sharing a room. And then when he got this woman to come back with him, he said, we're going gonna go in this room. If my wife calls, tell her whatever. Have you told this story? I don't know. I haven't heard it.

I mean, ever in my life? Yes. I haven't heard it. I want only exclusively news stories on this, meaning you've never told anyone in the world. I have a news story. Oh, that's tough. I heard people fucking when I was staying in San Francisco.

Whoa. Okay, back to the room where you... Paul was up there too. So I was annoyed like, oh, I have to like, this guy's just assuming. Like, yeah, go ahead and lie to my wife for me while I fuck. I've had somebody say something to me to not tell somebody something.

I would not pick up the phone if I was in that position. But as they were going to the other room, she like took off her top like in the hallway. She was ready for it. She was ready for it. She's probably drunk out of her mind. I hope she was not. I hope she was sober and gave consent.

Me too. I hope so too. And then I was in the other room with one of the waitresses. Really? Oh, the story is getting a little bit hotter. I was wondering if you brought anyone back. Well, she wanted to hang out. I'm sure she did. But really, she just wanted to talk about this comedian

from Philly that we both knew that she thought they had a thing and then she was discovering that they did not have a thing. Okay, it's a boring night for you. It sucked. Yeah. Because it's like- Did you think something might be happening?

Of course. Well, I didn't, I was like, I was not- She wants to go back to your place at like 2 a.m. Yes, I was not reading this properly when it was like nothing was gonna happen. Like she was not, she really just wanted to gather intel on this other dude. On this other comedian. That you knew? But I was still, kind of, wanted to gather intel on this other comedian. That you knew.

But I was still, kind of, yeah. I knew from around the scene. But he was like one of those guys who was like not funny but he was handsome and so he would like bang all over the place. My ears are burning. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like you wanna be there? And I wanted to be there. I'm neither. I wanted to tell her, yeah, I'm neither, how about me? But it was that kind of thing where, when I look back at it now,

of course nothing was gonna happen, but at that age, I was keeping hope alive. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, definitely. Those were all the time. Those were all the time. Those were all the time in that age. So is the image of her with her shirt off walking towards the bedroom door just imprinted in your mind?

That is imprinted in my mind. Him on stage doing the dinosaur thing with a young woman and like laughing as she messes up and all that. That's imprinted in my mind. What dance would he make them do? All I can remember. The only thing I can remember was a sort of mimed, like a... I think it's like what happens in the video. Yeah, right? I can't remember the video at all.

But making your hand into a dinosaur head and your forearm is now the neck. I feel like your hand is the jaw of the dinosaur, not the actual... but I don't know, maybe this is the eyes? And then you think there's an invisible head around there? You're insane. So you're just doing the bone structure within the skeletal system. You're doing the skeleton, because you forgot the dinosaurs actually did have flesh.

They, you know, we don't know. We don't know that, they had feathers. Lot of times they had feathers. That's true. We think they had leathery skin, but they had feathers. No one goes the most direct, they were just skeletons who were alive. Yes, exactly.

Like why are we hypothesizing? Why are we adding layers to them? No, they're proud skeletons. We found the bones. They were that. That's what they were. When you see skeletons on Halloween, they're not former bodies. They are just their skeletons. They were born skeletons. Did you imagine giving birth to a skeleton? I don't know that that's something we want to put in Lauren's mind right now. But it goes wah wah. I don't like this at all. But then all the zylophone noises. Oh, it's talented?

Yeah, the doctor's face. It's talented. The doctor's face makes the zylophone noise. Okay, we have to take a break. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more.

I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more.

I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. I'm gonna go get some more. Yeah. Oh. Boom, boom, aca-laca-boom. The entire band is saying boom, boom, aca-laca-boom, boom.

Sort of embarrassedly. Ha, ha, ha. Like, I was forced to do this for this song. Like family photo style? Yeah. Well, because it's a very, like, child song. Very child song. But at the same time, I feel like a lot of things

at this time were, the style was just kind of extreme in this way that feels like it's for kids, but it's not. My future's so bright I have to wear shades. My future's so bright I have to wear shades. Because I got my eye poked out during a drunk driving accident. The cop came over and he went boop. Do you know what happened to Sammy Davis Jr. Yes. Is that he lost his eye in a car accident because the kind of car that he was driving had this sort of ornamental thing in the center of the steering wheel.

Oh no. And it fucking went through his eye. That's horrible. That's why you should never put like a pen in the center of your steering wheel. Yeah, a knife. Don't put like a big curtain rod in there. Yeah, that could hurt. A bugle snack. Sure. A bugle the instrument.

A bugle would just crumble. If you're a bugle, you think it wouldn't go through your eyeball? Going into your eye? A bugle will obliterate your eye. Okay, fair enough. They are pretty hard. Lauren, a bugle will obliterate your eye. I already gave in. I just feel like you're not taking this seriously. I really am. It's actually scary you're not taking this seriously. I really am. It's actually scary how seriously I'm taking it. Oh no, are you okay?

It's kind of my whole identity now and it's all I wanna talk about. We went too far. We turned her into a bugle hard person. You're not a bugle hard person now, are you? Bugles are the hardest thing on earth. You know what's second hardest? Apologizing.

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. But you got to do it because people really like that. People love apologizing. Oh my God, they love it. They're fucking horny for them. They're horny for everyone. God, who's going to apologize to me today? How many do you receive in a year, would you say, apologies?

Four. Yeah, it seems like maybe four. One a season. Yeah, sure. A seasonal apology. When you get a really nice fall. I'm sorry, a maybe four. One a season. Yeah, sure. A seasonal apology. When you get a really nice- I'm sorry, I tumbled all.

I'm sorry. I will say, when you get a very nice apology out of nowhere, that's a very nice thing. It is very nice. That happened to my wife recently. You apologized to her? Yes. For the past 20 years. Out of nowhere.

It happened to her. Yeah, it was very unexpected. I was of course filled in the whole story, but it was, we both remarked, it was a really good apology. I had the same thing happen to me. Excuse me. And it was unexpected and it was a very good apology. And there was no, but you also did this,

or I'm just saying no, like I'm still mad about that. It was just none of that. And I was like, this makes me feel better. And then it allowed me to apologize. And I felt good about it. You know what? And it's a good apology, unlike, really recap, yeah, Tom Sandeval. Okay.

Okay, so I really only know him from Special Forces. Do you watch Special Forces? I'm saying World's Toughest Test. Instead of Vanderpump? Vanderpump? Yeah. I love special forces. I actually get watching that instead of Vanderpump rules.

Well, I mean, they're very special forces. And it's the world's toughest test. How could you not watch it? Yeah. So it's kind of like, you think I'm not going to watch the world's toughest test? If there was a show called Forces, a tough test. Yeah. It would be like, a tough test. yeah, it would be like a tough test

Let's make these forces a little bit more special. Let's make the test the toughest test I think so. Yeah, and I mean, you know, he was on that show and he was so Eyeroli, oh he's the worst. I just I could his whole deal. His whole his whole voice is like this He I was really shocked by his whole look, vibe demeanor. Did he have the mustache? I'm trying to think. I think he did. Oh, really? I thought it was mustache-less. Maybe he doesn't have it.

Cause they show some clips. Oh yeah. Cause it was kind of like a, um, what's that singer from Queen? Freddie Mercury. Wasn't it kind of like a long, like a thick mustache that he had? I mean, it wasn't. He had a good mustache, but it was not like. It was not like a gay biker. Oh, it wasn't a gay biker. Or even a regular biker.

It wasn't like Al Pacino in Cruisin'. Oh no, he was a guy without it. He was the only guy without it. That's how they knew he was undercover. He was looking with the most mustaches of all time. So he made an apology for obviously, for anyone who doesn't know, he cheated on his girlfriend with another cast member

on the show. Yes. And under all of our noses for years and years and years. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. Well, not for years. Not for years, but months. But he probably cheated with other people for years. You gotta assume. With randos.

It's tough, you know. But it is, this show, we watched it last night, Jenny and I, and it is, it was really a heavy episode, and it's become like a, more of a psychological study than like a fun reality show. Yeah. It was, there were like genuinely tense moments.

It was very surprising. I mean, it makes sense. I feel like the stuff that went down at that point was so real. I don't know about the earlier seasons. But here's his- The earlier seasons just felt like a reality show. You know what I mean?

It was like messy people being messy. Here's his apology style though. It's like, hey, I just wanted to check in with you. Like that's not an apology. When he says, I'm sorry, it's always, I'm sorry, but. I'm sorry, but you know, it was just a tough time. And then it's something that- Oh no, that's so exact. What about this? He goes, well, what about what you did to me? Yeah, exactly. I'm sorry, but you know, it was just a tough time. And then it's something that it's, yeah.

What about this? He goes, well, what about what you did to me? Yeah, exactly. Oh, that's always good. And everyone around him is always saying like, you just need to just sit here and take it. Yeah, exactly. Well, and that's what I think.

Everyone gives him the exact same advice. And he's like, I'm doing that already. He was trying to do that by doing toughest test. He was like, I deserve this. This is the- Go on another reality show. Yeah, like money. And get paid. I know,. This is go on another reality show and get paid. I know, but he was basically in the physical punishment of the challenges. More attention.

I deserve this. But there were times when I couldn't, I couldn't believe how weak he was. And I'm not saying I would be good on it. It's like, hey, lift up this ball. Jojo Siwa did amazingly well. Jojo Siwa. There was a point where I believe Tom was having a really hard time carrying a person or a big bag or something. And then JoJo was doing it. I was like this is a big bag. I think it was a person. I think she was carrying someone in her

bag. It was an empty bag but it was just big. Well they were full of bricks. Do you ever watch Kitchen Nightmares? Never. I don't like nightmares. No. I'm too scared. I won't go in with it. It's gross. No, really? No, hate them. I'm starving. Mike and I love to scream.

Not even the fridge. Gordon Ramsay, we have two things about Gordon Ramsay I wanna say. Okay, two, okay, look. We've been waiting for this. It's the third episode of our new season. This is a new department. Lauren has been talking forever about two things

she's wanted to say about Gordon Ramsay. Yes, this is now official. It's Lauren's things she's wanted to say about Gordon Ramsay. This is not official. It's Lauren's two things she wants to say about Gordon Ramsay and go. One, I think he's like an amazing chef and- How would you know? Have you ever eaten anything he's cooked?

No, but- Who would catch? No, but we've learned from him. Learned what? That he's an amazing chef? We watched a master class thing the other night about scrambling eggs. And we started doing it like him and it was really great.

What are his techniques to scramble these eggs? He put them in a pot. He used a pot. He cracked them into a pot. Okay. How big? Medium. So Tom Sandoval could not lift it. And it was full of breaks. He was whipping them around and then he puts in butter and he put in creme fraiche and he also put uni. I mean then he puts in butter, and then he put in creme fraiche, and he also put uni, I mean, I didn't do all this shit. But he-

What did you do? You just put it in a pot. In a pot, and then we put butter. We just ordered them. No, actually we had- We were at a restaurant. I think Mike put creme fraiche because he's trying to cook now.

I don't want to get into that, but anyway. Well, this has been a big thread. You've talked about how you're not cooking. Well, no, I do want to get into it, and then I'm very excited about it, but I don't want to, that's a whole separate topic. You don't want to have a husband who's like a woman. Yes, I do, I would be wonderful.

Cook me the shit. Number two. Number two, well, hold on. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. And so we always say. I apologize. No, they turned out great.

But the number one is still, the other thing I want to say is on the show, he's so, he walks in. You've already said number one. He's a great chef. This is part of number one. Then I might have three. It can't be a but.

I might have three. Number one, the title is, he's a great chef. He's a great chef. And then here's the description. Okay, or number two. What the fuck? He comes in.

You wanted more time for this! I just. Lauren! I'm trying to make it clear. I'm fighting for you! Because listeners can't. I'm reclaiming my time. I just... Lauren! I'm trying to make it clear. I'm fighting for you! I'm reclaiming my time. I'm reclaiming my time.

Listeners can't see my chart, so I wanted to make it clear. I'll just say number two. Okay, alright. Well, we can't see it either. It is invisible. So, number two, he will come into these restaurants that are gross. They're nightmares. And he has the best phrases, and so we love to say put our We're both trying to do something in the space.

It's like too small or something. Oh, I love pregnant Lauren so much. Pregnant Lauren giggles so much. Here you go. This place is a death trap! This place is a death trap! Hahahaha! I hope, here's what I, this made me, I had this thought flashed into my mind,

that years from now when your children are grown, that a sweet thing to tell them would be that you laughed so much. Aww, that's so nice! Aww! Cause it really is true. It is true, I just laugh harder. It's very giggly. It's true, I just laugh harder. He's very giggly. It's true, that's sweet.

And then the third thing about whatever his name is, is that- This is a bonus thing. This is, no, this was the main number two, but then the thing I just said became number two. It was- What the fuck? The thing, the death trap thing was really part of it. You were trying to tie one and two together, but they don't-

There's no, Lauren, come on. They're two, three things. So you're, if it was gonna be one thing it was going to be, we think he's a great chef, but he has these great phrases. No, it was. And he does this thing. OK. And the next one is that at the end of the episode, he re he sort of recaps like what happened to the camera by himself outside of the restaurant standing outside. He'll be like, in case you didn't watch it.

He just kind of like, Here's what we did. Here's what we did and here's our hopes for them. And here's like what like hopefully they have to do to make this work. And then we'll cut back to like here's a six months later and we'll see what happened. They have to add Uzi. He will look around.

We've deduced, okay. That his cue cards are on the ground. Because he's like looking over here and he looks down over here and he's like, he looks at ground. Because he's like, looking over here, and he looks down over here, and he looks at the camera, and then he's like, and then they had, you know, so many pots and pans, and then he's like, adding something else, he's like, and then-

You sure he's not, he's a downward thinker? You know how like, when some people think, they think up to the right, or whatever? Well, so, someone else posted about this, and we were like, oh my God, other people are noticing this. Then we watched the master class. He's looking down at that table,

there's nothing on it when he's talking. He is a downward thinker. Hold on a second. Cause he's looking down and saying stuff as if it's like referencing notes, but there's nothing there. I don't mean to sound all tinfoil hat. Okay.

But maybe before the master class, he saw that people were on to him. Oh, this is a sci-op. He was like, the master class, I gotta memorize this shit and remember to look down. Yeah. So he's looking up and thinking, I gotta remember to look down. Then he looks down. To remember to look up.

I just feel like they could help him in the attic. And enjoy the blue sky. Because when he's looking down, it looks so distracting. Well, that's the thing is, they say that you can tell if someone's lying, if they're not, when they're remembering something, if they're like looking up into, I believe it's the left, because then they're like pretending.

That's when you, that's where your imagination is. You have to go up to the left, to like look into your imagination. It's like when people actually, when people are trying to remember something. I thought it was to the right. When people are really trying to remember something, they look up to one direction. I don't know.

They look to one direction. I always look to one direction. And you know what? I still think Harry's going to get back together with them. I think he will, eventually. I mean, Justin got back together with NSYNC. That's right. NSYNC. NSYNC. Was it apostrophe N-sync? I think it was star N-sync, maybe?

But it could be apostrophe. I don't know, let me look that up. I wanna look at like when you're thinking or when you're lying. Why are the Backstreet Boys the Backstreet Boys? Well, they were all born in alleys in dumpsters. You know what, passed and answered. Yeah.

I did not know that, they were all dumpster babies. Yeah, one of them was a toilet baby. I was going to say. They moved him to a dumpster because they were like, this is too embarrassing. JC Chazay or was he in sync? Okay, it's a myth. He was born in a sink actually. It's a myth.

But that's the thing is like all the Backstreet Boys, they were born in sinks. Born in sinks. Okay, no, this is a myth that people look to the left. I didn't know I was pregnant. Then I looked in the sink and there was a baby. It was debunked. Debunked! But a University of Michigan study found

when participants lied, they maintained eye contact 70% of the time. I do think that's actually more accurate because it's like you're trying to be like, I'm being. Like I am being straight with you right now. I'm not blinking or anything. I have nothing to be afraid of.

I'm just looking at you telling you the truth. I'm looking at you normally. Yes. With my eyes wide open. Well, that's the other thing, when I read telling me the truth. I'm looking at you normally. Yes. With my eyes wide open. Yes. That's the other thing, when I read the book Homicide. Colon Life on the Street?

I don't know if it had a colon in the book, but I believe it was just called Homicide. Just smaller lettering under homicide? I don't think there was any life on the street in the book. I think it was just called Homicide. I could be wrong. I hope you are. But I was probably wrong about NSYNC,

not having an apostrophe. But actually, the Wikipedia page for NSYNC has just the N and the sync next to each other, like it's one word with no apostrophe. Oh no, I know this very deeply because I'm working on a project connected to NSYNC. How deeply? Are you in NSYNC now?

Yeah, I'm doing all the dancing. Just the dancing? Yeah. Are you doing Walk the Dinosaur dance? Yeah, we are working on that. I wasn't supposed to share. Yeah, wow. Okay, what I was gonna say about- Sorry, sorry, no, no, no, no, no, breaking, breaking.

Breaking news? There is an asterisk in front of the- It's asterisk N-Y-S. One word though, NSYNC. Asterisk NSYNC. Yes. Asterisk NSYNC. Asterisk NSYNC. So NSYNC is who? Yes. I... Astrid has head and waist has eyes. Astrid has eyes, head and waist has eyes.

So NSYNC is who? It's... This is true. I've just been doing... I've been watching so much old footage. I'm doing a project with Lance Bass and Danielle Fischl. Okay. Okay.

We believe you. Why are you giving us eye contact? Because I don't believe that you believe me and I'm lying. The old footage is so amazing. When you go back and look at all their wardrobes, I just, well, do you want to stop talking? I mean, in their houses? Yeah. Oh God. And then you go to Narnia.

Let me do stop talking. And Backstreet Boys are there. It's okay. So it's Justin Timberlake. Justin Timberlake. Lance Fast. Joey Fatone. Let me try to- Chris Kirkpatrick. Okay. That I'm out. You almost had it.

And one more? JC. Lance. JC, Shazam. All right, Backstreet Boys. Don't know. Carter. Not S.Dark Carter.

Nick Carter. Agent Carter. Agent Carter, yeah. All the Carters. Nick Carter. They should have a band together. They should, all the Carters. Haley Atwell.

Jimmy Carter's still alive. Jimmy's still- He's available. He's hanging in there. I don't think I know everyone's last name. Any single ladies. Nick, Kevin, Brian. That's where I'm. If I saw them maybe I can name them. And I don't know anyone's last name other than Carter. Nick DiPaolo. Kevin James, Brian Cranston. Yes. And then one more. So AJ. AJ McClain. Nick Carter, Howie Dorough, AJ McLean. Hollywood, ain't it a bitch. Brian Latrell.

Who is that guy's name? AJ Benza. Oh, AJ Benza. Kevin Richardson. Okay, so the one thing I learned from the book Homicide is that guilty people, when they bring them into the interrogation room, they always fall asleep.

And this is according to cops? Yes. Okay. Liars fall asleep? Guilty people, when they get into the interrogation room, they always fall asleep. Well, I know somebody who, when they were caught doing something, like caught in a lie.

I know this story, yes. They fainted, but it was pretense. Like one of those ghosts. You've told this story. So my feeling is like, falling asleep is like a sort of tactic to be like, I'm not even here, I can't talk about this. You can't wake me up, it's rude.

But I also have a friend who used to interview. And you can't keep me longer than 24 hours. So if I sleep for 24 hours. God damn it. He fell asleep. I have a friend who used to interview celebrities for like E and stuff. And she would get very sleepy. Like in exchange for ecstasy. This person would interview celebrities. Yeah. This is John Tesh. She would get, once you get nervous about certain people,

she would get really sleepy. Yeah. So that's what I think they're trying to say is like, these people are so nervous about being caught that they tend to fall asleep. Like it's a, I don't know. That's so crazy. I'm like, I think if I was to be caught, my adrenaline would be higher than it's ever been. They also tell a very funny story about how they would use the copier machine as a lie

detector supposedly, where they would put the copier machine as a lie detector supposedly where they would put in the third piece of paper. The first piece of paper when you're loading the paper, it would be blank. The second piece of paper would be blank and then they'd load a third piece of paper that would say lie and they would ask, they'd go okay we have a lie detector here and they would ask a question like what's your name? The person and then they would press the button and a blank piece of paper would come out. They go, where do you live? They would say a blank piece of paper would come out. Did you kill that person? No, I didn't press the button lie. They go, well, we got you. And then they would confess. But like, why didn't the other one say, why didn't the first paper say true?

I, maybe it did say true and I'm misremembering this. It's been 20 years. Like that one one just blank It was by noted cop lover David Simon and it was called homicide colon a year on the killing streets a year on the killing streets, yes That's too long, I may be a little afraid I don't want to I don't even spend two hours on the killing streets I'll spend a good hour and a half on the killer. I Oh, absolutely, I love it. I love them. Yeah. I would like to spend a year. Have you watched American Nightmare? American Nightmare.

Do do do do do do do. Stay away from me. Oh, what is that? I don't know, but Elizabeth Lame's always talking about on her podcast, so I. So why are you bringing things up that you haven't even watched? She's always talking about it, but you don't know what it is.

Well, it's a documentary about something really scary. You're a documentary about something scary. But I was going to watch it last night and I texted her should I watch this? She's always talking about it. Cause I'm going to be, like when Mike was asleep so I was like can I watch this alone or will I freak out and she was like I would say watch it during the day.

But then I was curious if you watched it but I know Janie likes stuff like that. Janie likes stuff like that. I thought we would leave that in the old place. Janie likes stuff like that. Janie likes stuff like that. Let me, I thought we would leave that in the old place. Janie likes stuff like that. Let me see. What old place? Janie likes stuff like that.

The Haunted Mansion. Oh, oh, we're all going to the Haunted Mansion? Yeah. Great. We should do a Disney day. We'll record from Disneyland. Yeah, that would be so fun. I did a podcast from Disneyland one time.

You did a podcast from Disneyland. You did a podcast from the Disneyland? Don't be scared This was this was a podcast called walking with Michelle I went walking with Michelle. That was the theme song. I bet it was. And it was hosted by Michelle Balloon from Fun in Canada Oh, yeah, when that song came out, I thought It was old like a 70s song. Why? The way it sounds. And then I learned.

And also the way your brain is. Yeah. You received that information. When I heard it, I was like, this is like a cool retro song. And then it was new. Okay, go ahead. So the idea was we were gonna go there

and we were gonna record podcasts from, she was gonna go various places and record a podcast with a guest. And so the first one was Disneyland. And this was me and her producer, Matt Belknap, whom you might know from Never Not Funny. Yes. And this is this is early podcasting days. The Silent Killer. That's right. Because he has a silent K on his name.

That's why. That's correct. So I call him cholesterol sometimes. Oh, that's fun. The Silent Killer. I thought hypertension was the silent killer. I think there's a lot of silent killers. Too many. So many don't announce themselves. Yeah, like talk to us guys. So we recorded this on a Sunday morning.

Perfect. Sunday morning. The day after I went to a friend's wedding. Ooh. Bad timing. Bad timing and then we discovered that the reason we were doing it we had to be at Disneyland at 10 a.m mmm, was that he thought there would be

Less traffic and fewer people there. It's not how that works. That's absolutely not how that works There's less traffic and fewer people at like 7 p.m. Yeah. Yeah, Disneyland It turns out is very popular and people with children who wake up early will go there in the morning. And I was hungover as hell. This is what I do in this situation. I call Disneyland and I say there's a bomb. That's what you do. And so then they close the whole place and you can't go? Most people should leave. But let a few of us in, okay?

There's a bomb that is set to go off around 2 p.m. So. All right, we have to take a break. Bye. ["Dreams of a New World"] And we're back, and it's time for a three-cher. I know. This is so exciting.

This is a special part of the show where we play a little game. Are we playing a game? Yes we are. Yes we are. Or we do a scene or it's something like that. Yeah. Cause this is three-cher. These are submitted by you.

Three-cher time. Yeah, so don't blame us. Yeah. And the theme song was submitted by Michael Jackson. He submitted it. For our approval. And we said, you know what, turn this into something different for your own album. Oh, Scott, you didn't finish drinking your alcohol. I drank everything in it. I don't want to eat the chocolate. Hey, you don't have to drive. Go ahead. Okay, this was submitted by Robert Cub. Okay. I know he's a little cub.

He's just a baby bear. He's just a baby bear. It has no title. Or tiger. But then our ex. Other things are cubs. Okay. Matt Exop producer.

Polar bear. Matt Exop producer. Oh, Matt Exop. I hate that guy. He, man, we can finally say it. Benedict Arnold. Yep. We left, he just stays where he is

Did Benedict Arnold do anything that bad that we're still talking about Benedict? I I saw something recently that led me to believe that I guess certain people think that he was Framed or he was trying to do something good certain people Let me guess they don't like the company Pfizer. I love Pfizer. His last name is Kennedy. Pfizer had a commercial during the Super Bowl that was so bad. And it was like, it was to the tune of Don't Stop Me Now by Queen. Oh yeah, the mustachey old rocker. They just did like moving lips,

it's like that face tune thing or whatever. Just moving lips on paintings and busts and sculptures and shit like that. It looked so bad. The CGI, the animation was so bad, so bad. Well they had to spend so much money getting it on TV. I know, but the whole thing was like, we're the future of science.

We've always been at the forefront of science. Like this sucks. If this is how good your drugs are. Yeah. Yeah. I always feel like I could write great commercials. If only I was given the chance. I've always felt that about you too.

Yeah. About the band you're in. About the band you're in. That you should be in it? I know, you too could write great commercials. I think if Bono wanted to, if he put his mind to it, he could write a jingle. A lot of his songs should just be commercials. Like know you two could write great commercials. I think if he put his mind to it, he could write a jingle. A lot of his songs should just be commercials.

Like Witch. Yeah, like Witch. You're the expert. Witch. But you know what, a lot of them would have to be really, really, really. Oh, I love that. You're a witch, you're a witch.

And the witch is back. That part of Hocus Pocus 2 was fun. Wait, hold on a second. I have not seen this before. It's fine. So in the witch version, it's an accusation, as opposed to the original version, it's like I on a second. I have Nazi books. It's fine. So in the witch version, it's an accusation, as opposed to the original version, it's like, I am a bitch.

I'm a witch. Okay, look, we gotta do this thing. I'm not a witch, I'm you. Remember that? No. What was her name? O'Donnell, I think. Rosie. Rosie.

No, if only. Speaking of hitting houses, Rosie O'Donnell. It was this young woman who was running for president. Remember that movie, East of Eden, where she's dressed like in a... Like in a Domineer... I remember the cover of it. Domineering gear. I remember seeing that at the...

Domineering gear. I saw it at the video store like all the time. Like who do you want to see in this stuff? Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Aykroyd. But he wears Domineer's gear. I believe so. Yeah. I gotta watch this. And then there's a sub on this island they go to.

I haven't seen it. A submarine? Wait, so they're in a dumb sub relationship? Well everyone goes to this island. They're undercover cops. Yeah, they're undercover cops. But they're all dressed like this and there's a sub who comes in and goes, I will do anything you command of me, mistress.

And she goes, paint my house. It's one of the oldest jokes. I'm going to watch that. It's as old as In the Butt Bob. I think even older. Which is, by the way, from Sea of Love. The movie Sea of Love, the Al Pacino movie. Two characters are telling this story as if it's,

and it's an old joke that turns out to be true, as we learned from Paul of Tompkins. Oh, the newlywed game thing. Yeah, the newlywed game thing. That is in Sea of Love. You can't just put, this is where it's like, you can't just use some old street joke and call yourself a script writer.

It's like write your own joke. That's so weird. Why is that in Sea of Love? I don't know, but the killer, I believe it's a killer the killer steals that joke killer steals a bad guy There's a joke. There's the breath. Okay. Look, this is Matt Exxon producer says maybe this could be called reality bites Why Matt? We don't it doesn't make any sense for what I know. Oh, maybe oh, sorry realty bites. There we go So worse well, that's not actually make know. Oh, maybe. Oh, sorry. Realty bites. There we go.

Even worse. Well, that's not actually makes sense. No, no, no, no, no. It's perfect. No, it's called realty bites. Realty bites. Okay, for this game, one person's a realtor and then the other two are a potential couple

trying to buy the house. A potential couple. Yeah. It's a will they, won't they? It's a first date. It's like a Sam and Diane situation. But they're being kind of quirky. I'm like going to look at an open house.

Here's a fun thing to do on a first date, buy a house. I think I mixed up the words, it's potential buyers of the house. So, here's how we should do it. You just, you, neither of us are gonna text you this problem. You just come up with a problem for the house. Is that okay? Oh, I have to guess what the problem is. Yeah, and we'll try to figure out what they probably guess what the problem

Wait, we're all gonna try to figure it out I don't know. No, you know you you know what the problem is the words on the page No, because we're changing it. So one person doesn't just sit there I sort of I sort of feel like it makes more sense for the realtor to not know what the problem is. Like in the way these games go. Okay, so I'll text Lauren what the problem is. What? What do you? What honey?

I don't get why me knowing, like tell me what's happening. I'm the realtor, I have to guess what the problem is. He's going to guess. And we're going to hint at it. Yes. Yes Thank you. So I'm gonna text Lauren what a problem is and we're gonna be a couple if you're new to the show We play these three chairs that are variations on five different things and and sometimes the people who submit them don't Exactly incorporate all three of us into the thing. So we have to change the rule. Yeah, it's rude I know people trying to push me out of the show

the fans Okay, I have Yeah, it's rude. I know people trying to push me out of the show. The fans. Okay, I have texted Lauren the issue. Exciting. And we are going to hint around the issue. Got it. Okay. Yeah.

Reddit. Put it in my memory. Reddit. Hi, come on in. Oh, the door's open. You don't have to. I know, but I just wanted to see if it works. It's a nice party door. This is a good door. Oh, the door's open. You don't have to. I know, but I just wanted to see if it works. It's a nice party door.

This is a good door. It's very, very thick. It's a party door? It's a party door. Well, it's good for a very party. It's nice of a thick door. I was going to say, it's great for parties. I love this.

So this is beautiful. Thank you. Can you tell me a little bit about the home? Yes, it has. Tell me too. Like, don't just tell. Oh, no, no, no. And are you a couple or you're almost a couple?

We're a potential couple. It would work out that way, but I'm the breadwinner. So I think you should speak directly to me. OK. We see here's our situation. We want to live together. Yeah. But we don't know whether we want a date or not. So we feel like if we get a house that's big enough, maybe it has upstairs, downstairs kind of thing like one part could be his

or mine. And if it doesn't work out, then we each just have a good place to live. That sounds terrific. And I'm in a similar situation. Oh really, what's your situation? Like a situationship? I'm stalking someone that I think is gonna come around. Okay, great.

Oh I'm sure they will because you know. Is someone who lives in your house? So I live in their house in the walls. Oh, oh got it. Oh, like a bad Ronald situation? Yeah, my name is Ronald. So you get to hear like everything. Are you bad? Oh like a bad Ronald situation You get to hear like everything good I get to hear everything that they're doing everything that they're doing well

That's great gives you a lot of insight into what kind of stuff they want to talk about Also, I surprise them with gifts, you know them intimately at this point, so, you know, whether you like them or not Where do you leave the gifts? I leave them in the walls, which is not working great. Yeah, yeah, especially if it's food Do you ever say like, Have they spoiled it? High through the wall? I do. High through the wall?

I'm very quiet. Cause I don't want to scare them. Right. So what I'll do is like, when this person gets in bed, I will be behind the head of the bed in the wall and I'll just be like, Hi. Do they have a sound machine or anything

while they're sleeping? They do, but it broke a while ago, so now I have to imitate the sound. Oh, okay. So they don't know it's broken, they turn it on, and you have to immediately go. Shh, shh, shh, shh. Okay, Ronald, I'd love to give you a huge commission.

Please call me good Ronald. I'd love to give you a huge commission on this house, because you just seem great. I would love to tip you on top of the commission. I like the sound of this. Well, let's talk about the house. So you like upstairs and downstairs. It has two upstairs.

Okay. Oh, cool. How's that work? You mean three stories? Exactly. So you go upstairs and then you can go upstairs again. That's so fun. And you can also go back downstairs twice.

That's so fun. Okay. Does it have a slide at all? And how many times can you do it in one day? It doesn't have a slide, but it's slide ready. Oh, okay. Can you install a fireman's pole, do you think, in between all these? I can't, but you can. I'm sorry, I'm a woman.

I just sell the houses. And I asked a question. I'm sorry, what was your question? Are you in STEM? I was just going to, I was wondering how many times a day you can go up and down the stairs. It's unlimited. You can go up and down the stairs as many times as you like. That's part of the mortgage. We're paying for unlimited stair usage.

Yes. It has crown molding. Is there a way to discount it if we don't ever want to go upstairs? I can talk to the seller about that. Well, there's something I saw. Now I just want to be a little bit, I think we should just tell them. We were poking around outside, kind of peering through windows. Well, there's something I saw. Now, I just want to be a little bit, I think we should just tell them. Yeah. We were poking around outside, kind of peering through windows.

OK. And we saw, I think, what's a huge problem. It's definitely a problem. I don't think, well, I think I know what you're talking about. I hope so. I mean, it's huge. I would say. It's affecting a whole thing.

Right. But look at it as, I know that it seems like a problem from the outside looking in. But I think it would be worse when we're inside. It's an opportunity to what? To to do something that you've never done in the house before. A swim? I don't think it's. Yes. That's one thing. OK. But one thing you could pretend to go fishing. I don't think any fish could survive. It doesn't seem sanitary. That's why I said pretend. Okay, that's a good point. He did say pretend. I know. But imagine if I call you don't call me that yet. What do you want me to call you?

Avery. Dr. Avery. I know you have your PhD. I have a last name too. I have a last name too. Wait, I thought Avery was your last name. I thought so too. It's my first name. What's your last name? It's a wonderful first name. Belong. Avery Belong?

Dr. Avery Belong. What's your name? I'm sorry. His name. Peanuts. That was your last name? No, that's my, that is my last name. Oh, your last name is Peanuts. Yeah, is my last name. Oh your last name is Peanut.

Yeah, Mr. Mr. Peanut. Yeah. Mr. Mr. Peanut. Mr. Mr. Peanut. His first name is Mr. Mr. Mr. Peanut, Dr. Belong. I know that it seems like that area in the house is maybe toxic and dangerous.

Yeah, I mean, you know. I know it seems, and it seems deep. It's incredibly deep. I'm just worried that I could catch some sort of disease. Yeah, I mean, it's fine for most of the house. Obviously, you know, I don't expect it to be finished necessarily, but. I mean, I think it should be dealt with, I I do is there any way to drain it I

Wouldn't do that because I think the fuller it gets the more you can take advantage of it I'm just worried it's gonna see the floor. So do you think maybe I can donate it to science or you think I? Mean that's up to you. I I think you can I think you can it's good for tracing circles Where did it all come from? No, it's not even know what that means Tracy sir, well, it's a realtors term There's not a term for it Realty bites, so there's no way there's no way to describe it without talking about it without without being a realtor exactly mr. mr. peanuts

gets it yeah I actually get it too I'm a woman in stem but you but the the you could just put the cover on it it has a special cover that you could put on it okay okay you see like a waterbed feeling at that point. And maybe we'd forget what it was underneath it. Yes, exactly. And I'm helping you out, honestly, because I, I don't think I can live like this. I mean, it doesn't, if we just never went down there, it would be fine. But eventually things down there. Yeah, eventually we want to, or you can store things. I go like, what? What, what? What do you need storing and I'll tell you if you can do it. Childhood mementos.

Yeah put them in there. But they're going to be just ruined. They're going to be red and soaking wet. Red and soaking wet. Yeah. I mean. I guess I could store my old pads down there. Yeah I guess. Why are you keeping your old pads down there. Yeah, I guess.

Why are you keeping your old pads? Well, because I like to remember. Do you have your first one? I sort of just check every month to be like, and how did that compare last month? You know, and so it's just like, is it ever different? Oh, yeah. Really? What's the what's the variation on it? Sometimes to have your flow. Right. Right.

I think you could make a wonderful wall piece out of those. Like a sort of- That's a great idea. So I shouldn't put them in the basement. A dekooning, if I'm thinking of the right person. Yeah, I shouldn't put them in the basement of the person. No, don't put them in the basement. And you were looking through the basement window?

Yeah. Yeah. I would say that you can use this in an emergency situation. Like if I'm dying and need a transfusion. Yes, if you're the correct type. Which, what's your blood type? Z negative. She's kind of, she's an anomaly.

The universal refuser. And what's yours? I'm Zed. Oh, the English. I'm from Canada. The universal refuser UK. Yeah. All right, so look, a lot of houses are not going to have an amount of blood this substantial.

I mean, it's, it's too substantial. So, I mean, there's no such thing in, in home buying. There's no such thing as too much blood. Look, just tell us the truth. Why is the basement filled with blood? Why is the basement filled with blood? Before you got here, I had a bloody nose. This all came from you. I was picking my nose, okay? And it started to bleed. Don't you know you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose?

Yeah, that's why I wasn't doing it. Okay, because your finger's in my nose right now. Well, you're not my friend. I thought we were friends! You really think relationships are so much... Good Ronald? We went to high school together. Good Ronald McDonald? Is that how you get it? I'm not the bad one who sells hamburgers. Okay well I think we should just take it. You guys have a history. How much is it? Oh that's a good

question. How much is the house? Are you ready for this? Yeah. De-de-de-de-de-de-de. One dollar. And one billion cents. It's not that bad, actually. What's a billion cents? It must be... How much is one billion pennies?

10 million dollars. Yeah, 10 million dollars plus one dollar plus $1 for a bloody basement. And a house with two upstairs. I want that. I want that. I want the bloody basement. Can we keep the blood? Of course you can.

Do you want it back? No. You'll have a peck in your head. No. I can't take it back. I'm blood type K. Oh, that's the ultimate. That's a better out than in type. Oh, got it. Can't take it back. I'm blood type K. Oh, that's a better, better out than in type.

Oh, God. Can't go back in. K for can't go back in. K for can't go back in. Well, thank you so much, Dr. Ronald. Thank you so much. We obviously have a lot to talk about. No, we don't.

It's where do we sign? And we're a throuple? That's what I'm saying. We have a lot to talk about. Where do we sign? Oh yeah. Well, I think we should ask him. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Why are we discussing it? We're a couple., you're a couple and we're a throuple now

Who is living in the basement me I mean it's an upgrade from out of the wall I'm gonna sleep in a canoe This makes sense Yes, I did. So what? Did we just walk into your trap? Yeah. Do you like it? I love it here.

It's a beautiful trap. Thank you. 10 mil. You put an eight, I'll put two. That seems fair, dude. Eight dollars? Yeah. Times a million.

Damn it. This fucking guy. This fucking doctor over here. Fucking doctor. Damn it. This fucking guy. This fucking doctor over here. Fucking doctor. Alright, that's it. We did it.

We did it. That was fun, right? Thank you, Matt. The final time we'll ever refer to you on mic. But thank you Robert Cub for submitting that. Thank you, Cub. I'm trying to remember the story that there was... Cubby. I bet people call him that. Someone who did askat once who was a show runner. And he talked about how as a child,

how he picked his nose so much, he would put all his boogers in the lampshade and all over the room. And then one time he picked his nose, it started going crazy bleeding. And this whole family was like freaking out. And did he put the blood on the lampshade? I think he had to go to the hospital.

It was like a whole thing. Oh no. It was about how much he baked his nose. I did a podcast once. I can't even discuss it. It makes me sick in my stomach. Well say it. That's not.

It's not. I honestly can't. Lauren's in that pregnant thing where she can't do it. Say the gross thing. Where she wants to hear gross things like. I want a barf. She wants to eat pickles. It's like Oral's kajka.

Yeah. Yeah. Talk to me about the tasteals pika. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Talk to me about the taste of hair. Say it. All right. We're out of time. I'll text it to you, because I honestly

will gag if I say it out loud. Ew, am I going to throw up? I don't fucking know. Ha ha ha ha ha. OK. Here's what you need to know. If you want to write to us and suggest one of these games, write to us.

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about a week and a half ago, we're doing our 3mium episodes. 3mium! First time that we're mentioning them here. This is a really special announcement. But every other week we're putting out 3mium episodes where we're answering your voicemails. This is, you can get them at CBB World,

as well as Apple Podcast Premium. And if you want to, this is huge news. Remember how people could call us and leave these voicemails and they had to call a special number? Hag Claims 8. We do not have that number. We lost it.

We lost the number. But what we gained was a website, HagClaims8.com, where people can leave us voicemails. A website? A voicemail website? A voicemail website? A voicemail website, yes. So go to hagclaims8.com, the number eight.

The number eight. Hagclaims8.com and leave us voicemails and we'll answer them on our threemium episodes. It does seem better. Website seems more official. It seems better. Anybody can have a fucking phone number. You know what I mean?

Exactly. I mean, we'd have to figure out how to check it. We gotta figure all that out. If they spell out the number eight, will it redirect? I'd have to buy two websites, right? And then teach them how to fish. Who am I going to teach how to fish? Everyone knows how to fish these days.

Yeah, it's true. Well, what's complicated? It's like- It's like an archaic expression. No, it was, yeah, back in the day when they made up that expression, back when fishing was new. When fishing was new, everyone was like, how do you do this? Now everyone fishes.

Yeah. It's like, it doesn't make sense anymore, but we still say it. Oh, that first guy to fish must've been so annoyed. Like now I got to show you another one. It's like, I just figured this shit out. Why can't you show him after I showed you? So, uh, uh, leave us these voicemails at HagClaims8.com. Leave us these voicemails. Whatever you gotta say. Those come out every other Wednesday. And then our three Visiting on the Tuesday episodes are still coming out. These are our old episodes that are behind the paywall.

Classic. So that's all of the business here at Freedom. That's all we got. That's all we got for you. I don't know what more you want. We just hope you have a great day or night depending on when you're listening to this. Or if you're sleeping, because some people put on podcasts to sleep, which is so strange to me.

I'm crying! Bye!