Threedom - Cringe n' Cheugy

Episode Date: September 26, 2024

Scott, Lauren, and Paul discuss socks, the circus, and Scott's dream before playing Instrumentals.  Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail] us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.comFollow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA.Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.comGrab some new Threedom merch at cbbworld.com/merchSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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in high-risk patients. The Coligard test is available by prescription only. I didn't say the M. I'm being naughty. Serito! Serito? I know! Like, Serito? One shot first. Okay. Serito!

Stop! Oh, you did it now. I was going to say stop doing that. That's why you have to wait and listen. This is a great lesson for us all. And yes, you fell into my trap, but I'm glad that you did because it's a lesson for the listeners. You do need to wait and listen Guys this is hard to write but Ted Cruz could lose but no one's donating

We could cut right to that chase that we donate to him What they wrote to if we raise enough money, he will have to lose. I got one last night that was, the subject line was pain, period. Pain. And I was like, what? And it was like, it was basically like describing the world

if we don't win, it will be painful. That's painful to talk about, but I was like- But this is so confusing. I was like, subject line pain? Subject line pain. Pain. Pain. Pain. The fine line between pleasure and pain. Was it from Hellraiser? It was from subject line pain. Subject line pain. Pain, pain. The fine line between pleasure and pain.

Was it from Hellraiser? It was from Kamala Harris. I saved her number on my phone as Kamala Harris because they always said maybe Kamala Harris. Let's just say it is. Let's just say it is. She's texting me. Maybe Kamala Harris.

She's texting me right now. I don't know how many of these are fake though, just trying to get you to send money to a fake place. Well, that's scary. I mean, I got the, the only place I've donated is through her a fake place. Well, that's scary. I mean, I got the, I'm on the email. The only place I've donated is through her official email. Okay, so that's okay.

But I, but I think half of the text that we get. I'm just assuming all those texts are 100% spam. I think they have to be fake. You cannot click links on the phone. No, of course not. No. Don't. You know what?

This is a question I was actually thinking about talking to you guys about. Yeah, please. Because I think it's sort of a commentary that I've seen on Instagram about millennials using their phone versus computer kind of thing. Yes, there's something these days about how millennials think that old people

only buy tickets to concerts on their computer. No, the next generation. Next generation. My generation. I believe that's a computer activity. I'm a millennial. Okay, you're a millennial. So the next generation thinks millennials are stupid for using their computer when you can just do it on your phone. I don't I

think there's a lot of activities. I think banking is a computer activity. I think like I think most I do it at the actual brick and mortar bank. Yeah, I also do go to the bank. Honestly? Which I am old for. I'll go back and forth between phone and computer. It depends what needs to be done.

I'll sometimes have a window open in the phone and in the computer in order to get better tickets. That's so decadent. I love it. I barely buy things on my phone. I will use Amazon on my phone, but I won't buy things on websites. You don't even buy things. Like you've had a GoFundMe for just basic dietary needs. Should we talk about our buying habits? And where we do them, is that a good idea?

A more refined. And when we're gone from our houses. So you'll buy something on your phone. Cause I think I'm a little old, but is it only millennials who have this problem? I will say looking- I will say your generation doesn't think that you've adapted and we're kind of going because we came into this in the age of computer in college. That's where you do all your things on the computer. Your phone can't do that yet. It's like I do most buying of anything on my phone. Whoa. I contact my travel agent through the phone to purchase tickets for me.

It's funny. My sister's a travel agent. She fucking gets to travel all over the place. They get deals. How do you pay them? You don't have to pay them. You don't pay them? No, they get paid from the actual like...

Well then I'll use one. Yeah, you should because they get deals that you can't get. Why not? Yeah, it's not like you're paying an extra 10% or anything like that. They get deals that you can't get, do da, do da, do da. They're really good, but we hardly ever use them.

Well it sounds like it's from My Big Friend's Wedding. My Big Friend's Wedding. My Big Friend's Wedding. My Big Friend's Greg Redd. She was a travel agent in that, famously. Was she really? She never traveled because she was a nerd. What was her character's name?

Greek? Muldon. Is it Mia? No. It's me, Muldon. It's me, Muldon the Greek. Welcome to my movie, my big fat Greek wedding. Hi, I'm Muldon the Greek.

Famously starring. It's a beautiful name for a girl. Aidan, who is fantastic in the film, John Corbett, who recently said he regrets his career. I say, wow, thanks for taking away my happiness. But you know what was funny? The way he expressed it was like he saw, what was it, he saw actors kind of speaking up for themselves and saying,

or doing their own projects and stuff like that. He wished he saw actors kind of speaking up for themselves and saying, or doing their own projects and stuff like that. He was like, I could have been doing that. He had become like more of a producer or something like that. Yeah, it's like he had a long time to think about. That's true. It wasn't that he said, I wish I was a teacher or something. That's not a thing that was invented last year.

He was saying, I should have been doing more on the like creative side. I was more a hired hand or whatever you call it, right? Hired gun. Actor for hire. Can I say this? And I've said it before and I'll say it again. I absolutely love Gen Z just making up shit to make fun of older generations. I think it's been going on forever.

Like our socks? That's the funniest thing. Ankle socks. Oh, now ankle socks are bad? Ankle socks are cringe. Ankle socks are cringe. Okay. Ankle socks are cringe. Nobody wears them anymore.

If you do, you're a fool. I sometimes will wear an ankle sock. I think it's more, isn't it more of a men thing? Oh, I don't think so. I can wear ankle socks to the gym. I'll wear a no-show sock. Yeah, that's a gym sock. I'll wear a no-show sock.

I love a no-show sock. I'm wearing a no-show sock right now, but you know what? They're not perfect. We haven't mastered this. No, no matter how much they say they don't slip, sometimes they slip. Even with that little rubber in the back.

Do you know what? When they don't have the rubber in the back, well, I don't even try. Don't even talk to me before I've had my rubber in the back. Is it cringe to use an ankle sock for your jerk-off sock? It's chooky. That's more choogie. Okay.

There was someone in the CBB meet and greet line. Oh yeah? Who was cringe and choogie? No, no, no, no. That's hard to read. We should do a CBB character named cringe. We're cringe and choogie. They were accusing me of something far worse.

What? I was wearing no show socks with my white Oxfords, it was summertime. Were they accusing you of having no socks? I think they were accusing me of having no socks. That's disgusting. These lunatics. And they accused me of being stinky.

Stinky! Me of all people. They said this to you? Yes, they did. Why would someone say that to you? They said, you can't, but you know, but you can't wear shoes without socks, it's stinky. And they waved their hand in front of their face and nose.

I will say, I think that's funny. Lauren, I can't believe this. How sharp are those serpents' tooth? I choked on a piece of spit. Good. One piece. Can I have one piece of spit, Lauren? Can I have a slice of spit? Please. Can I have a piece of spit. Good. One piece. Can I have one piece of spit, Lauren? Can I have a slice of spit?

Please. Can I have a gram of spit? That's the 23 grams. But who in this world is assuming we don't have a no-show sock on? Yeah, right? Who in their right mind? It's like-

And also me, of all people. A seritorialist? Sartorialist. Sartorialist? I think we're moving away from- I've never said that word, so you can give me three tries at it first. Yeah.

Absolutely, go for it. I think we're moving away from, what I'm picking up on is that we're moving away from the men doing the wedding style suit of super tight pants that are too short with no show sock and your loafer. We're moving away from that? I just grew out of my suit.

Yeah. I remember- You were trying to get bigger from that? I just grew out of my suit. Yeah. I remember- You were trying to get bigger. Yeah, I grew five inches the other day. When that first started, the first time I saw that, it was like a Tom Ford thing for Brooks Brothers, I think. And it was a long time ago, and the suits were all so tight,

they looked like they didn't fit, no matter what your body was. It's like a kid. It looked like, yeah, so it looked like you were- It was kind of hot for a second. For maybe, I think so. I would say, yes, it looked like you were- It was kind of hot for a second. For maybe- I think so, but now- I would say like, what are we talking, 20, 15?

But also like you wear these pants, these pants are supposed to be this short with no socks and all that, this looks ridiculous. No, we're moving away from that and I like it. And you know what I really like? Are we getting back to like big, huge shoulder pads and bulky suits? Cause that's what I could use right now.

Frasier times? Frasier times? We're getting back to Frasier times. You know what I really like are those pants that are like the 40s. Like it's kind of a high waisted, no like the guys pants that are like, have like the pleated high waisted.

It's almost like a built in vest. Yeah, it looks good. It's almost like a built in vest. Except it's pants. Well, it's hiding the part that the vest usually lies. If you know what I mean. Oh, stomach. Yes.

Stomach. I. Stomach. Poopa. I need to get more vests, I think, because about- How many do you have currently? I don't know if I have- Zero? I need at least one of anything.

I don't think you should wear a vest. Really, why? I can't see you wearing a vest, actually. It's not really great. Well, no, a vest and no shirt. You look good in a vest. Yeah, thanks. A vest and no shirt and gold chain. I'm saying I don't think you I'm a vest and no shirt. You look good in a vest. Yeah, thanks. A vest and no shirt and gold chains.

I'm saying it, I don't think you should wear a vest. I don't think that's your style. Okay, fine, I won't wear anything. No, I think you should wear clothes. What if we started doing a show nude? You know, you could do a sweater vest. No. That could be cool. You're not in charge of my clothes.

Yes I am. I picked out everything in there. You did? Yeah. Cool, a sense to me for approval. Don't pretend. Obviously, Lauren is in charge of your clothes. I picked out everything in your house.

You really? Shit. Everything in your house. This dishwasher? That you should conceivably wear. Oh, I could wear the dishwasher. So bowls. Yeah, bowls. Yeah, bowls, cuffs.

Yeah, for a hat. Bowls for a hat. Or a bra. Did you ever get a bowl cut? Not intentionally. You sort of look like you have one now. No, I don't. I actually have the best haircut of my life

is what people are saying. People are loving this hair. It's the best of my life. It actually is. I got a new person, it's fucking crushing it. Yeah, great stuff. How many haircuts have you received from this person? Oh, you mean a person doing your hair?

Yeah. When you said I got a new person, I thought you were talking about Gigi. Oh, I got a new person. How many times, she's cut it fully once, then she did one, we're now working on a bang, we're on a bang journey. I had my check-in at five weeks to trim,

and then we're growing them out into a style. I like that there's a plan. Are you singing the Bang Bus? Yeah, the Bango Bus. The Bango Bus is coming, the Bango Bus is coming. So in five more weeks or in four weeks from now, I have another bang trim and then we're going to do another haircut or we're creating the vision. So do you have a picture in your mind of what you'll look like?

No, when you know what it is, for the first time I didn't show a picture. I didn't try to, I just keep adjectives. I'm not going to say them because they're embarrassing. Chuggy and cringe. Chuggy, cringe. Chuggy, cringe. Chuggy, cringe. But I actually had a friend say the adjectives, tell me the adjectives to say. Chuggy, cringe.

Oh really? Who's the friend? My friend. I always say the same things and then I end up being annoyed by my hair. You take your jacket off, Paul. You're doing like Fat Guy in a Little Coat. It's like you're like. Fat guy in a little coat.

Never seen that movie all the way through. What? Yeah. Classic. But I know that part. You should do a Paul hasn't seen all the way through podcast. You know, I finally saw Grease recently, which I had seen. You'd never seen all the way through.

I had never seen it in order. It's called my big fat Greek wedding. Oh, my big fat Greece wedding. Is that just called Greece? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I'm Montauk. Montauk? It's Mondos the Greek. Mondos. No Mondos. I want to look up her name. Mondos? Mondos? Mondos the Greek. But I had never, I had seen, I think I'd seen all of Greece but not in the order that it was intended. Yeah. Yeah. So you sort of saw it like pulp fiction style. Yeah. All the scenes were out of order. And I had a ball gag. Wait, you saw it. Someone Googled is Mia Vardalos or

Nia Vardalos Greek. I'm like, I know. I think her name in the movie is Mia, but I guess her name is Nia. That would be if that's true, though, that's why my brain did that. There's no part of it that is her name. OK, please keep

going. What is her name? I'm trying to find out. It should be so easy. Did Brad Pitt ever play a character named Rad? Fautula, Tula Portocolo, Portocolos. Are you fucking kidding me? Tula Portocolos. Or is it Portocolos?

Portocolos. Portocolos? Like on a castle? And John Corbett gets to be Ian Miller. No wonder he thought his career was a waste. He's like, if I were behind the scenes, I would have named him like Montauk. Montauk the American. Hey, I was reading...

Wait, wait, wait, hold on, you saw Grease. You saw Grease. Did you get up and do the hand jive? Of course I did. I didn't even want to. Yeah, you had to. The ball guy? What if the gimp in the fiction started doing the hand jive. Of course I did. I didn't even want to. Yeah, you had to. The ball guy. What if the Gimp in the fiction started doing the hand jive? I mean, why not? He might as well have.

What were you going to ask us? So I was reading, well, I was reading books to Emmy last night and I realized something. He's involved. Yeah. They all end with someone falling asleep. Yeah. And I'm worried that she's going to grow up thinking that's what books are.

And she's going to be like, oh, the catcher in the rye was good, but no one fell asleep at the very end. Yeah. I think there's time between now and then to kind of get that across. Did that happen to you? Did what happen to me? Did you grow up thinking? No, I never I never read books until I was 15. I first the first book I ever read was The Catcher in the Rye.

But books were read to you, dear. No, no, no. What? I didn't like them. Wow, you said no, no, no. You never heard a story. Never, no. I mean, someone probably told a story

of like what they did that day, occasionally around me. Oh yeah, that's what I would do with my kids. And I went and I picked up my dry cleaners. Good night. That would be so boring. It would work probably. Holly sometimes will ask me like, when I say I'm going to work,

like, what work are you going to? And I'm like, You don't want to tell her yet. I'm like, I sort of tell her, I'm doing a podcast. She's like, I want to do a podcast with you. Like she doesn't know what we're talking about. I know, but I would love that.

Will that be cute? Yeah, it would be cute. I try to give, like as she's getting older, I'm getting more explanation for it. I usually just say work no matter what I'm doing. Well, nowadays as an artist, you need a bunch of different monetary streams. Oh, even if you're like going into the bathroom to cry.

Yeah, I'm going to work. I'm going to work! She did the dish. We're going out to dinner, I'm like, I'm going to work. But I'm like, now I say I'm going to dinner. It's like, cause it's like she could kind of handle, she didn't want me to go out to dinner. I'm like, I'm going to work, but I'm like, now I say I'm going to dinner. It's like, cause it's like, she could kind of handle, she didn't want me to go have fun, you know? Right.

She saw the video of you- Which does she consider fun? Okay. Dinner. She considers dinner fun. Yeah, what? She saw the video of you coming out on stage. And jerking off the microphone.

Several times. And I was wondering how that was explained to her of like why people are applauding when you come out. She saw me on Yo Gabba Gabba Land and she liked it. And she's like, yes, you. And I was like, yeah, she's like, you're dancing with them. And I was like, yeah. She's like, cool.

Like she just thought, she liked it and she wanted to watch it again. But I was worried that she then would be like, well, I want to do it too. Yeah, I think it's so abstract that I think it's just, we went to the circus the other day. Oh, you did? Yes.

We went, I took her to Ringling Brothers. They still, that still exists. Circus still fucking exists. Some of the kids from school were going, um, it's, it's at the crypto.com arena. Oh my favorite arena. It was too big. My feeling was- Really?

The circus didn't fill Crypto.com arena? You want it to be more intimate so you feel like something is happening. I felt like for her, first of all, she didn't like it because a firework went off at the beginning and she hates fireworks. And so from that point on, she wanted to leave.

So I had to like kind of convince her to stay, but I felt- How did you do it? Like, did you show her how much the tickets cost? She had her hands on her. I told her the parking was 40, the popcorn was 20, the fucking toy you got was 25, the tickets were 100 total.

Okay, and then the other thing was, which I want to tell you about, Crypto.com Arena has this thing. And have you been to this place recently? Crypto.com Arena once. I've only been recently. I've only been once. This is pretty new as far as I know.

It's formerly Staples, correct? I've been there a few times, but not recently. What was it before Staples? That was the first thing that happened. Was LA Live also that? That whole thing was built right around the time that I started seeing Cool Up. It lived around the corner from it.

And it was a very kind of the type of neighborhood you wouldn't go walking around at night. Yeah. So it's now better and they've turned it into a an actual like, you know, neighborhoods. Yeah, no, they've swept the people away. So there's this I wanted to get a water and the Ringling Brothers stands where we were in line to buy popcorn and a toy were not selling water. They said you have to go to one of the grab and goes or something like that.

So I'm like, okay. So one of the like official crypto.com like genders. Let's stop saying crypto.com, it makes me sick. It's sick. Why? It's such a good website. To have a website as your name. Come here, come here, come here, come here. At least just say crypto.

Yes, because all I wanna do is go to the website right now. It's terrible. Take website to have a website. It's your name. Come here, come here, come here. Take a look. At least just say crypto. Yes, because all I want to do is go to the website right now. It's terrible. Take a look at the world's premier crypto trading platform. And if you text, if you text. By Bitcoin, Ethereum, 350 plus cryptocurrencies with US dollars. I was like DMing about it and someone said, where was I? I said the crypto.com arena. And then it just said I said it said arena and then it? I said the crypto.com arena. And then it just said, I said, it said arena.

And then it made a link to crypto.com separately. And I'm like, I can still put it in a sentence. Anyway, I went to the grab and go, okay? This is what this is. It's like an airport store almost, where it's just like a front of a thing. It says like, it was basically a beer store. This is out front, right?

No, this was inside. Oh, okay. I'm sorry, it's out front at the other arena. No one cares. Dodgers? Mmm. Scott? Where we saw Prince? The Forum. You mean outside? Thank you.

Yeah, it's outside of the Forum. The landmark Forum. You can't go outside or you can't come back in. So this was indoors. But you can't stay here. I'm just telling you my experience at the Forum. I love your story. So. And you can go outside.

It was a related story. And go back in. That's nice. It is nice for the patrons. It is nice. I got water at the 7-Eleven. Let me tell you about this. Near my house. You can go in and leave and go back in.

I like that. This is not like that. OK, this is different. This is inside and you can't go outside and leave. I'm going to start selling tickets for you to come in here. It's. Okay, this is different. This is inside and you can't go outside and leave. I'm going to start selling tickets for you to come in here. It said like beer and seltzer station. We've ever had some name to it. So I I'm waiting in line and they have all these like, um, sliding like partitions. Like it's like a sliding door, just like you're going through a security.

It's like a glass, the plexiglass thing that's going to go once you go up to it. Like a turnstile sort of thing. Yeah. But you have to put your debit card, you have to scan your debit card to enter the store. This is the same thing as the forum. This fucking sucks. And then it tells you what you bought as you leave.

You never have to. You never told me. I did this at the airport. I hated this. I grab a water, there's no prices on anything. I said, it just knows the guy. That's insane. The guy said, welcome to the future. Huh. By the way. By the water, there's no prices on anything. I said, it just knows the guy. That's insane. The guy said, welcome to the future.

Huh! By the way. By the way, it's the present when he was saying this. I'm here to see the circus dickhead. And I know, I'm going to see the oldest show on earth. And by the way. That's what this circus should brand itself as. And by the way, I'm with a three year old

so I can't even fucking meander and look at what's going on. I have to just get my water and go. I take the water, he says it'll just scan, it knows what you got. I'm like, okay, so I leave. I'm like, how much was that fucking water? I log into my bank later,

because I was like, I need to know how much that was. Do you wanna guess how much, so smart water, a normal bottle, not a big. A normal bottle of smart water. $25. That's too much. That's too much. $24.

That's right. I'm gonna say 12. Okay. More or less. I'm gonna say 15. It was $9.84, but I still felt that that was absolutely disgusting and illegal. It's bananas. And it's more than the airport, which is rude, because that's already crazy. Yeah. You can't do this to people. I'm like, how the fuck is someone supposed to go to the fucking circus, which is like already a whole big thing. Don't they have? Drink water in your car, ma'am. Well, also you could just drink water out of the taps in the bathroom.

Oh, that's good. Good hack. That's not disgusting. Bring an empty bottle. Why is it disgusting? Are you allowed to bring an empty bottle? It's not disgusting. It's not disgusting. I think it's wonderful. I think it's beautiful. But the circus, here's my thing about the circus with an empty bottle. Tell you what, we have to take a break. No! When we come back, tell us your thing about the circus with him. Tell you what, we have to take a break. No! When we come back, tell us your thing about the circus. Okay.

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or for those that medically qualify access to doctor prescribed weight loss medications and registered dietitians in Weight Watchers Clinic. See how Weight Watchers fits you at WeightWatchers.com. That's WeightWatchers.com. And we're back. We're talking about Andy Circus. My thing about that is he's so great in 13 going on 30. Um, he's the boss at the magazine. Who's terrific in, um, Topsy-Turvy as well. Great. I mean, he's great in Black Panther. Alrighty. We love his performances. He doesn't need that whole suit. I'm a monkey shit. He's great on his own. I like him as Gollum. Um, Holly, the kids were, did you ever think about calling Holly Gollum? Yes.

And then I just thought, it's already so popular from the movie. It's true. A lot of Gollums were born after that movie came out. I think the circus is too abstract because one thing I, one note I have for you brothers. How many rings, first of all? I don't know.

It better have been three. There's no rings. There were no rings in this three ring circus. So it was just purely a, it was down at the bottom. I think their name is Ringling. Just a catch is catch can. I know their name is Ringling. That has nothing to do with-

You think their name is Three Ring? Have you ever heard of a Three Ring circus? I have heard of it. I'm just having a little fun as we do on the show. There was a center platform that was a circle that was raised. And then everything else was kind of like things they would a circle that was raised and then everything else was kind of like things they would bring in like something would come down from the ceiling for a high wire sort of situation or like a turning object that there are no

animals anymore. There are no animals. I looked this up in 2016. People were complaining enough were protesting and they took they stopped prodding elephants. So I think that's probably there There's no animals at all? No, there's a robotic dog. Who by the way, needs more pizzazz. I mean, no offense.

I just have some thoughts about it. I feel that they got, when they got rid of the animals, they got rid of the ringleader as well. And I don't know why. Yeah, the ringleader is like a big part of it. We need him to tell us what we're saying. Some vestige of the old circus. I felt that we needed that because for her,

through Holly's eyes, I'm like, is it amazing that that person really far away is walking on a highway? You don't know what that means. So wait, the person just walks on the highway and you're supposed to understand that they're walking on a highway? There's like no intro of the people. That's so weird.

At the bottom there was like a little screen that said the Lopez family and there was this family that walked on a slack line. I was like, give me some intro of the people. That's so weird. At the bottom there was like a little screen that said the Lopez family and there was this family that walked on a slack line. I was like, give me some history on the family. We need a ringleader. For the past 20 years, this family's been doing this all over the country. I wanted them to come out and say,

hey, we've been traveling all over this country to put on the greatest show on earth and now we're in Los Angeles, let's hear it. There was like nothing like that. We need a ringleader in circuses and we need a ringleader in movies who like comes out and tells us like what's going on. There was a woman who sang songs

and like made a couple of proclamations, but I feel like there was not enough. What were the proclamations? There was enough. The emancipation. Explanations of what we were watching. It was more like, today's a great day. Have you ever been to Cirque du Soleil? Yes, a bunch of times and it's really good.

And they usually don't like announce what's happening either. They are artists. That's a different kind of thing though, because they're telling a story. I know, but maybe they're trying to be more like this. No, they shouldn't be. No.

Cirque du Soleil is telling a story from the very beginning. And the music is amazing and they're coming into the audience and they're interacting with you and there's like, and the makeup and the costumes, it's all, it's a visual joy. Feast. This needs more.

Everyone was a great performer. I'm not making fun of anybody involved. I just felt that- Did anyone fall to their deaths? No. I felt that we needed- Well, that's a good circus, so no Robin. An announcer explaining how amazing everyone is

because for a little kid- Yeah, so it sounds like you're auditioning for the job. I just, I'm auditioning to write it. Because I'm just like, we just want some backstory. When I think of the circus, I do think of somebody that's like amping everybody up, saying like, this is gonna be an amazing thing that you're about to see.

There was some of that with a song, but it was so loud that it was almost like you couldn't. No. Like a little kid, it's a lot to process. Like I just felt like I needed it to be bragging about the people. So what, all of this aside, what actually happened? There's a robot dog and one aerialist.

What else happened? No, there were amazing, there were two girls who went up on a ring and did like, you know, hanging and doing like cool stuff. They did a trapeziotomy. There was like two guys who went on like a spinning thing that almost looked like it would be like the zipper at the amusement park, but they were walking on the outside of it

and it was going around. It was really cool. But you're just like- A lot of balancing. So a lot of acrobatics. Yeah. And one robot dog. I would say it was about 99% acrobatics, some clowning.

We left it intermission due to her not having fun, but that was because she didn't like the fireworks. Were they clown clowns, like with the makeup and everything like that? No, they needed- They were just dumb guys? It was kind of like they were just dumb guys. I needed some more makeup, but this is all my. Oh, did they have like the minimal makeup?

Yeah. Like a nose and a mouth kind of thing? You wanted the classic circus experience and what you got was a loud firework at a robot. Yeah, I really did want like, I want the old school. I want to feel like I'm in a tent. I feel like they could have put something on the ceiling that would have made it feel a little smaller in there, like some hangings, like, or a loft. Yeah, at least put a tent around the Crypto.com arena

so it looks like it's, you know. Being fumigated? Yes. Yeah. But you know, the real fun was had talking about the circus all week beforehand and walking up to it and getting so excited when we walked in. This was all wonderful.

So do you think she will never want to go back to the circus again because it was not fun? I might have to find out if there's fireworks and things before I take her to think. Do you think she'll ever get to like fireworks or? I thought this year was going to be different with 4th of July because she hated it last year, but no, fireworks, no go.

Might always be a problem. Poor memory. Yeah, yeah, I think it's. Also, why are they setting off fireworks inside? It was like a snap. It was like, but this big firework went off. It was a firework. Was it literally sparks or was it like a shooting, like, you know, piece of cloth and stuff?

No, it was, it was very high in the arena and it was like a... That sounds odd. Lauren, would you pause for just one second? What do you mean shooting piece of cloth? You know what I mean? Where like, uh, little streams of ribbons of cloth come out of a gun and stuff like that. That's not upsetting.

I think I know what you mean. Okay, great. So we get started. You're not interested in my thoughts? No. Yeah. It was all in all, I would say it was a really fun time because I like to go to things like this.

I think it's like really fun and I enjoy the pomp and circumstance of we're going to the circus. I love pomp, but I hate circus. You could just go to things like this. I think it's like really fun and I enjoy the pomp and circumstance of we're going to the circus. I love pomp, but I hate circus. You could just go to graduations. That's true. You're guaranteed. Do you think, is there some way that you could find out

what you didn't see in the second half? Yeah, our friends stayed. Also, why are they taking an intermission? Our friends stayed. I know, I mean. To take kids to the bathroom or something? It was, I was really glad because the lights came up so we could exit.

It was, she had her hands on her ears the entire first hour. You know, we have a mutual friend who, whose child never liked any kind of recorded, like a toy that had a recording coming out of it. And that changed. Yeah. So maybe. Yeah, I think I would like it if she grew out of it

because honestly, there's just so many fireworks in LA that it just comes up a lot. Yeah, and also like if you go to the Hollywood Bowl on 4th of July, you're gonna see him. If you go to- If we see him in our house on 4th of July, it's like bombs going off all over the place. It's crazy.

LA loves fireworks for sure. Yeah. For sure. And you give them an inch and they'll take a fucking mile. Because if it's a fireworks event, they'll start setting the fireworks off. At 1 p.m. Days before.

Yeah, yes. And then days after. Yes. I'm okay with it. I don't like the ones that are obviously just people around town doing it. You know what I mean? You don't like that?

Yeah, because they will do it until four in the morning. And they'll start in the daylight. I'm always like, what are you doing? How is that fun? Yeah, because they will do it until four in the morning. And they'll start in the daylight. I'm always like, what are you doing? How is that fun? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But we- They should be allowed to do the little snakes. Remember the snakes?

I just like, that's all I want is snakes and snaps. If I go to the Hollywood Bowl- I want to see them do snakes on the stage. We loved those growing up, and we loved cherry bombs. Just regular old firecrackers? Smoke bombs, not cherry bombs. I love smoke bombs. Snakes were the only thing we were allowed to do

in the daytime because we were always like, can we do the fireworks? Can we do the fireworks? They're like, no, we got to wait for it to be nighttime, but we could do the snakes. I love the snakes. We love the snakes. Me and my little friends went through a smoke bomb frenzy

because there was a store in our neighborhood that sold them and we were buying them. Any money we ever got our hands on went to smoke bombs. We never got tired of them. And I remember one time I wanted to hold the smoke bomb to like have the smoke shooting out from my fingers and that thing fucking flew out. Like I could not believe the reaction. That's good that you weren't holding onto it and it exploded then. I wasn't holding onto it tightly enough, I guess.

It didn't, yeah, it didn't explode, but it was like the whatever, because we would like put them on the ground and they would just sit on the ground and the smoke would go out. Yeah, we put them in our pants. Yeah, they kind of just like hissed. Yeah, and issued a beautiful color smoke.

Yeah, beautiful, beautiful. Like the Wizard of Oz kind of smoke. Like the Wizard of Oz kind of smoke. Yeah, the kind of thing that we get with it. So you were trying to hold them in your palms to look like you had magic fingers? I was holding it in my fingers because I wanted to look like a wizard or some shit.

And then that thing rocked it out of my fingers. And what would that have achieved? The feeling of being a wizard, you fucking dumbass. Yeah. Would your friends respect you more? Yeah. And now, since that thing went out of my hands, they did not respect me. I lost shame. I lost face in

the neighborhood. I lost shame. I had to go zero times. It's a law shame accident. In Philadelphia. Because they were not legal in Illinois, but we would go over the border. They must have been eventually. Yeah. But we had firecrackers and shit like that. We had a little one. We could do little ones and sparklers and stuff, but you couldn't find fireworks. But in Indiana, I would say there was nobody that was shooting off like into the sky fireworks.

Remember all the fireworks we bought in Hawaii? Yes. And we bought way too many. I think we did. Yeah, we had to leave a lot of them. We left a lot of them at the property that we were renting. Yeah.

So many sparklers. But the deal was impossible to turn down. It was. Yeah, they were like. It was like 10 for one. Yeah. They wanted us to take a lot. It was like this match in order to make Ted Cruz lose.

That was so fun. That was fun. Can we do it again? Sure. We'd love to do it again. Paul, will it be annoying that there's gonna be all these little kids running around? No, it'll be fun.

Okay, great. It'll be fun. Yeah, I mean, we're going in a little while. Why didn't I get invited? You wanna come? No. I don't think you'd enjoy it. We're gonna miss you.

You're going? Yeah, of course. We're staggering these kids too much. What do you mean staggering? You know what I mean? Like you had one. There's too much, yes, I agree. Then I had one, then you have another one.

Like there's never any time where there's no. It needs to line up. Yeah, we need to line these kids up. I'm talking, my dream is to go to Hawaii next summer. Okay. Or next year, whatever. Okay, that sounds fine. Yeah. Let's do it. Great. Okay, see you there.

All right. Just guess when we're going. Okay, I hope I see you. I bet you will. I hope I'm gonna be there all summer. Oh, great. Wow, all summer. I love Hawaii, it's so awesome.

It's the most peaceful. It's gorgeous, man. It's beautiful. Let's get a time trial there. It's so peaceful. How does that work? Well, let me take you to a seminar. It's so wild to go there knowing that

the people that live there wish you weren't there. Yeah, and vice versa. Well, there was that point where everyone, they were begging us to stop going there because they were having issues and people I knew kept going. Yeah. No, I think it's a delicate balance

of some people really want you there because of the tourism dollars or so. Well, yeah, those people. But this was during like a bad situation. I can't remember what the, it was a natural disaster. The fires and all that. No, it was the- They were all the fires that were happening when I was there.

The fires, yes. Yeah. You booked your trip when you saw them. Yeah, I was like, let's get there. No, there were all these fires where like ash was falling on you all the time. Yeah, and they were saying, don't come here because we need to repair and we need... Yeah. ...and all this stuff.

Repair, replace. Safe flight, repair. Safe flight, replace. Did you see that video of Tim Walls singing Menards? I saw that because Menards was trending and I was like, I had never heard of Menards before. And so I, I sent it to, no, I had never heard of it. Sorry. Until Charlie McCracken just in, uh, where were we?

We were in Madison, Wisconsin did the Menards pitchman. Just randomly? Just randomly, because he's from that area. Where is it from? Cause I mean, I'm from Chicago and we had Menards. Yeah, so he's from around there. And he did the Menards spokesperson who did the commercials or whatever.

It was very funny. I'd never heard Menards and Sully Menards is trending. I sent it to him. Oh, cause it's his influence. And then Charlie said that Tim Walz is stealing his bit. Yeah, he's like, he has this whole video where he's talking about the importance of cleaning your gutter.

He's like, I just think it says a lot about a person if they have a clean gutter. I like to look at gutters. And he was like, and get my tools at Menards. Where were they? Because I'm used to seeing that gentleman interview people on the subway. That's what I thought they were.

It didn't look like the subway to me. The subway has gutters. Oh, was it a train? Oh, cum gutters. Ew. What? What? The subway has rocking cum gutters.

Stop. Come on. No. Everyone says this expression. Even for you. Everyone says that expression. You know what it is. They say it when it's I guess appropriate My just plugging it in there my brother

Hot though my brother sent me this Subway car had just a subway car. Yeah, just had this the link up. Yeah. No, that won't work What are you an objectum sexual? Yes, my brother sent me this today. It's a slippery slope Okay, what did your brother send you? I don't know if he knew that I love this. Okay, we're playing something on a phone. It's not working, this is not working. That's the wrong plug, dear.

Oh shit. Face. Wasn't even plugged in what you were. Well, how should I know? I haven't talked about that in such a long time. Okay. When somebody gets embarrassed. Face. Would somebody get some face? Face.

So rude. It is. Of course it is. All right. Hopefully it will be on Tuesday. OK. Should be no problem in getting order processed. Thank you. I was wondering if I could get to report you on many more.

We'll meet you right now at our computer system McDonald's. Your brother sent that to you? Stop moving it. Is that report going to be due on Tuesday? Oh great Mr. Jones, I'll get it done for you. No problem. There should be no problem with this. I want to know why the reports were not done on time. There should be no problem. I want to know why they were not done on time. Stop moving the cord. I was going to get that report. Please pass it over brother. I hope it will be on Tuesday, okay?

Alright, I'm unplugged. But also get a new cord. I'm gonna buy you a new cord. Yeah, please. That'd be great. I'm gonna donate that to the studio. Yeah. That'd be great. Buy me a new cord.

Maybe one that you don't get the counter at 7-Eleven. This is an official Apple cord. I'm not buying an official. I didn't get AppleCare for it, unfortunately. I'm not buying an official one. I was told that I had the AppleCare. I'm not buying official. I didn't get Apple Care for it unfortunately. I'm not buying an official one. I told that I had the Apple Care! Remember that lady? Oh, I gotta get Apple Care for my headphones.

Oh, you really do. Don't worry about doing that. Oh, there's gotta get Apple Care for my headphones. No, I got it, I just, I gotta activate it. I gotta get it. I gotta get Apple Care for my headphones. Fuh, fuh, fuh, fuh, fuh, fuh. Cause what if they don't have the care?

It's for my headphones, you see? I need them for the care. They need a doctor, the Apple doctor. Oh, the comb cutter's in my house. He said it. I didn't want to say that. Is it getting hot in here? It's getting hot in here.

Yeah, we both took off our coats. Now look, I knew that was gonna happen. But I still didn't ask the question. You're still curious. Is it because I'm drinking coffee? I think I'm warm. I took my coat off It's I mean I have this guy's hoodie on. I think it's because we're kind of getting into it. It's blowing 75 degrees should it be lower? Yeah, you want to lower? I want it lower. Because often Lauren is cold. But I have a jacket today. Lower. That's the fate of women in the office, my dear boy.

They're always colder than their male counterparts. That's why we can't have them in the office. Yes. Because we want the temperature where it is. All right, I'll turn it down at the break. Is that fine? Thank you, dear. Sounds great.

Okay, we have two and a half minutes. Can you survive until then? Here, I'll give you down at the break. Is that fine? Thank you, dear. Okay, we have two and a half minutes. Can you survive until then? I think so. To think about click hole says interesting angle. Twizzlers has announced that they believe the rise in inceldom is somehow related, whether positively or negatively to Twizzlers. Click hole really makes me laugh. They are funny.

They're funny. They're funny. We love them. Clickhole really makes me laugh. They are funny. They're funny. They're funny. We love them. We love them, we love what they do.

Just one and a half minutes left. Clickhole, have you seen this? Have you seen this on Clickhole? Have you seen what they're saying on Clickhole? Have you seen what they're saying? I would like to be a circus ringmaster. I think I'd do a great job. I think you'd be fantastic with a tail.

You just wanna do it for the claws. Top head tails. You know I already have the claws. I made the joke before. No, it would be really good. The robot dog was interesting. We didn't talk about the robot dog at all. So what did it do?

I think its name was Bailey or something. Why does it have a name? Well, it's their mascot, but as you're walking in. To distinguish it between the other robot dogs. You see Bailey kind of on a, there's doing something with him that you can see. I was like, oh my gosh, Holly, what is that? It's so cool. I thought that was cool. It was kind of interactive a, there's doing something with him that you can see. I was like, oh my gosh, Holly, what is that? It's so cool.

Like I thought that was cool. It was kind of interactive, like got a face with eyes that are going boop, boop, boop, and kind of like on a screen. A screen for a face. It's not like a black mirror robot dog that's going to kill you. You know those-

No, I don't think so. You know the videos of those like robot dogs that look insane. You know what it's more like? It's like those dancing robots that are like doing that like dance and everyone's kind of like, this feels too real and they're going to kill us. It's kind of like that.

Featured at the end of Battlestar Galactica. But they need, they need screens around the arena, which they didn't have where I could see everything up close. Yeah. They didn't have screens even? No. What the fuck? They already have screens there.

No, they have screens. They just didn't hire a video crew. Yeah. There was, there were screens that were at the base of the. This is janky as fuck. I'm trying to be nice. There were screens that were at the base of the floor where you could see some things, but it was only the angle that you were. You should produce your own circus.

I have thoughts. But who could we get to be the robot dog? I also thought the merch for Bailey could be better cause I would have bought that. I was willing to buy basically anything. I like to celebrate the moment. The Bailey merch wasn't crushing it. Okay. And I didn't feel connected to Bailey. The dog was only brought out once.

Okay. I have a video of Bailey the robot dog. He probably had a big moment in the second half. Yeah. Okay. Maybe he did. I should ask my friends. You're right. First we have an ad for. I should ask my friends. He probably had a big moment in the second half. Yeah. Okay, first- Maybe he did. I should ask my friends. You're right.

First we have an ad for- I should ask my friends. What is this an ad for? For mosquitoes show up? Mosquitoes. Oh yeah, whatever it is, just make sure you can hear it. Oh, Terminix.

So do we. This is an ad for Terminix. So do we. So do we. Okay, now here's Bailey. Oh, this is a Fox News digital story. Oh, good. Oh, good.

It's a reimagined Ringling Brothers, right? So we wanted to- Wait, I'm not on board with this yet. You can't just say right. It's a reimagined, it sounds nervous as shit. Is that Bailey? Yeah. That's Bailey.

We introduced sort of a non-human sort of fantastical elements. Sort of. Well, they mean non-human. Something sort of. What they mean is we can't prod animals. Is this guy the ringleader or did he ever appear? I don't recognize him. I also don't recognize that like non-human element

That's something that's like a little cheeky a little out of the way a little from left field He's not fulfills that for Bailey Bailey looks bad. I don't like his look gets into a lot of trouble She's like him. Oh she was cute when it came out. I just wanted more to happen with Bailey and to be honest I was not big enough. It's a robot like I don't even it's not big enough. I don't even, yeah, it's not big enough because you can't really see it. If there's no screen. It's the size of my dog. Yeah.

It's a lap dog. I want it to be as big as- It should be the size of a horse. Bailey is a piece of technology, just like you said. Bailey's a piece of shit. Just your phone or your computer, you know, it's not perfect all the time. All right, shut the fuck up.

Shut up. Already explaining Bailey's not gonna mess, he's gonna mess up. He's not perfect. He kinda sucks. No, it should be a horse size animal. That's very big. Did you ever see Cavalia?

Cavalia, no I didn't see that. Cavalia, Larry King's favorite show. Larry King's favorite show. Oh my God, he loved it so much. We went to see it and it was just like, horses doing, sort of doing tricks, but mainly shitting. Every time he came up. They love to do it.

I don't want animals to be abused. I would like, is there an animal that would enjoy being in the show that could do one trick that I'd be like, yay, or can sit around and watch and we can just look at it. Can chime in if they want. I sort of like wanted to visually see an animal. Like a snake who's like, you know,

sort of wants to be up on stage. An interested snake. Yeah. A snake that has like, you know, sort of wants to be up on stage. An interested snake. Yeah. A snake that has passion for performance. What if Bailey were the size of like a St. Bernard? That would be better. It is too small. It's the size of a small dog right now, which is just too small.

That looks so cheap and shitty to me. And now I'm imagining this whole cheap shitty circus. It's kind of making me mad. No, no. You try to invent one with just like $250. If I'm being honest, it made me kind of sad because I remember going to the circus as a kid. And I don't know if it was I think we went to Ringling Brothers when I was a kid and I think but it might have been the big Apple circus.

Oh, yeah. I was trying to remember the name of the rival, the RC Cola. I rode an elephant. Why? Afterward, you could wait in line. You got married in India, right? Yeah, I was just I'm just telling you something else that happened to me. No, I rode an elephant as a kid at the circus. I don't think that should be happening now because that's not good.

But it did leave a lasting impression. I need something that is going to create memories. Yes, absolutely. And robots are just too, we already know, kids are already so tapped in with the screens. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Screens and robots are two different things. But it feels the same. But you don't feel like there's a little bit of an overlap?

I mean, maybe a robot has a screen. I didn't see, by the way, Bailey's face. No, they never showed the face. They probably were reporting it. It's basically big, like animated eyeballs, like a screen. Okay. It's not like their eyes got moved like a robot. Screen's got a screen. Robot a screen. Okay. It's not like the eyes that move like a robot. It's a screen. Robot has screen. All right, Paul. We have to take a break. Yeah.

We always say, are you satisfied? Great point. And now I'm going to turn down the air conditioning. All right, we'll be back. This message is brought to you by the Coligard Test. Coligard is a one of a kind way to feel more in control of your colon cancer screening through a use at home test with none of the prep that's required of a colonoscopy. The Coligard test is the only FDA approved non-invasive screening test that looks for both altered DNA and blood in your stool. The American Cancer Society recommends if you are at average risk, you begin screening

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The KolaGuard test is available by prescription only. There have been a lot of jerks making the news week after week, and if you need a little pettiness to go with your politics, Hysteria from Crooked Media is the podcast for you. I'm Erin Ryan, political commentator and comedy writer. I'm former Obama White House Deputy Chief of Staff Alyssa Mastromonico, and each week we discuss everything from the profound to the downright absurd. Joined by a crew of hilarious women from coast to coast, Hysteria leaves no stone unturned from reproductive rights to the hottestright absurd. Joined by a crew of hilarious women from coast to coast, hysteria leaves no stone unturned, from reproductive rights to the hottest trending topics.

New episodes of Hysteria drop every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts. Sorry, haters, we're back. You thought we'd be done? We're not. Yeah, all you haters have been listening to over 200 episodes of this show, wondering when we're gonna stop. Well, maybe next week. or not. Yeah. All you haters have been listening to over 200 episodes of this show. Wondering

when we're going to stop. Well, maybe next week. Maybe next week we'll stop. Yeah. But not this week. Haters, haters hate listening to haters never prosper and prosperers never hate. That's true. We're going to play a three chair. What is a three chair? My throat made a noise. My throat made a noise involuntarily. You're actually like your throat isn't part of your body. Like, oh, my throat, the separate thing for me made a noise. I can't control how that happened. It wasn't a fart where I might have some say.

Where you have some agency. I have a vote. I vote for not farting now. We are going to play a three chair. What is a three chair? A three chair is a game that we like to play. Also known as a buster. If you would like to send us a game, a party game, a game you play in the car, you can

write to us at freedom USA.gmail.com. And this person did that. Okay, this is interesting. This person did that. This is called, this is a game called instrumentals and this is parentheses based off at yummy ponies suggestion. So we don't know who is basing this off

of yummy pony suggestion. Yeah, who's the intermediary between yummy pony and us? The Holy Spirit? Yeah, probably. Each person goes around and mimics the sound of an instrument and everyone has to try to guess which it is. Sometimes it's just that simple guys.

I love this game. We played this once before and I think we had fun. I think I loved it. I think I loved it. But what am I so afraid of? It's just that noise from an instrument. I dreamt I met Tom Jones last night. You what?

I dreamt I met Tom Jones. I'm just remembering. I dreamed I met Tom Jones last night. You what? I dreamt I met Tom Jones. I'm just remembering. I dreamed I met Tom Jones last night, alive as you or me. And I was, I think I was talking. And I was dancing. I was talking about a Tom Jones song and I realized I was talking to him about it.

I went, oh, whoa, this is your song. And what did he say? He got disgusted and left the room. I have a little song for you. Okay. Speaking of Tom Jones. How does it go? There was, but when I was hosting Best Week Ever,

we had a clip where Tom Jones was on The View and he was saying how he dreamed he murdered someone. And the people on The View were not really acting like this was a big deal. They were just kind of laughing or whatever. Okay. Well it's a dream. And he was saying like, no, but I really did. And they were like, ha ha ha. And then I closed it out by singing this song.

Tom Jones, he had a dream that he murdered someone on the view. Nice. Thank you. He had a dream that he murdered one of them? No. Oh, just someone. Yeah, but I think we've all had that dream, right?

Where we dream. I don't think I've dreamed that I murdered someone. Really? I don't think so. I've had the dream where like, I suddenly realize I have, oh yeah, that's right, I'm guilty of murder. And I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

This is a common dream, but I have not had that dream. And I just don't know why. I don't think I have had that. It's secret, my wheelhouse. Yeah, maybe that's why. Cause I actually have murdered someone. Yeah, so you don't dream about it. Cut this part out.

It's like my whole life is different now. I am now a murderer. And until the rest of my life, for the rest of my life, I have to be a murderer. Can we use this in court? Please don't clip this out. Please don't clip it out? Just calmly saying, my whole life is different now because

I murdered someone. Terrible. Oh Tom Jones. Why have you forsaken me? Tom Jones. Well I mean why would they act like it was a big deal? I mean he's telling a dream on tv. Well they didn't seem I mean, he's telling a dream on TV. Well, they didn't seem interested in exploring. Yeah, I guess I would ask questions. I mean, like, why not? Who was it? Why'd you do it? Now, this is me remembering this many years later.

So Bob Odenkirk used to tell me this story about seeing Mickey- And who is that again? Seeing Mickey Rooney on Conan, I believe, where Conan asked him, so you've been married, like say it was, I don't know how many times, it was like a high number. So you've been married eight times.

And seven of your wives have been murdered. And Mickey Rooney went, murdered. Pfft. What? He swears this happened. Yes. I bet we could find it.

Like he was derisive about the concept of them being murdered or like, yeah, murdered. Is this perhaps Bob is remembering Dana Carvey doing this? That's what it sounds like, but no, it was one of those things that- There's no way that seven of his eight wives have been murdered. Is that? Let's look this up. He would absolutely be in jail.

Just to be on the safe side. Like a jury would say, just to be on the safe side, you have to go to jail. Well, okay. So Barbara Ann Thomason was murdered in 66. Oh, that's too bad. Get ready to say that seven more times. Okay. And then, no, I don't think any of the, maybe he was just saying that one of the wives was murdered and then he would be a murderer.

Why would you bring that up on a talk show? If you're talking, someone find this clip. This did not happen. That's the dead point. Murdered. Why would you bring that up? Yeah, no one would bring that up. Why would fucking Conan O'Brien be saying,

so I understand one of your wives was murdered. None of it makes sense, but it was so specific and he used to say it all the time and we used to say it all the time when we were working with him, just cause his impression of it was funny. Murdered. Anyway, alright.

Let's play instruments or instrumental or what is it called? What are you looking up? Instrumental. So I was looking up Mickey Rooney, Conan murder. Mickey Rooney, Conan murder. All right. So what we're going to do is we're going to go around the horn. No pun intended. Pun intended. No pun intended.

And singer voice fucking crushed it. Instrument intended. Singer. Voice. Fucking crushed it. Instrument was voice on that one. Who would like to go first? To imitate an instrument and see if we can guess what that instrument is. I would like to go first. Lauren? How long do we have to do it? The floor is yours.

Until we guess it right? You make one noise and then people try to guess. One note? And then you keep making notes. No, not one note. This is why I'm asking. One noise. Stop making fun of me for asking for clarification when I want that.

One note. One note. One note. One note. to guess. One note? And then you keep making notes. No, not one note. Yeah, I think- This is why I'm asking. One noise. Stop making fun of me for asking for clarification when I want the clarification. Okay, nerd.

But I don't want you to have the clarification because that's why I'm making fun of you. It's like one quick noise. And then we see what we'll add as needed. It just says you're imitating the instrument. So if you can do that in one note, great, God love you. I'm going to- Any instrument can play one note.

Stop, I think it is one note. That's not true. That's what's funny about it. You think it is one note. See, I feel like- Let's just find out what's funny. That's what's funny about it. Let's just find out.

I feel like if we did it for too long, everyone would be able to guess it right away. Yeah, but I think it's actually so bad that you can't guess it. Well, yeah, you don't do it for like a song length. Okay, listen. There's a happy medium between one note and an entire song. Who said there wasn't?

I'm saying five seconds. You wouldn't be able to guess. Here's mine. You said, Scott, earlier you said, do it for a whole song. No. So it's. That may be that laughing may be lightheaded. It sounds like a trumpet with one of those plungers on it. It's not a trumpet with one of those plungers on it.

It's not a trumpet. French horn. No. Don't be mad about it. This is the game. You can't tell what it is. Do some more. This sounds like Kim Cattrall. It's Kim and I was doing it.

Theramin? Wuh, wuh, wuh. What? Is it a cello, like plucking the strings? No. Like a violin? Yes. Violin. I don't know that I would have imitated a violin.

Let's see what you would do. I was gonna say the same thing, and then I thought, I don't fucking know. Yeah. Here, this is a violin. Let's see what you do. Yee. Yee.

And you can't move your arms. You can't mime it. Okay. Shee. Shee. Shee. Shee. Yee.

Yee. Knife. Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. Bloop, bloop, bloop, bloop. Okay, you do one now. You do you. You do you now. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Doop you do one you do you you do you know, okay Okay Harp no Clarinet no Obo No. Do do do do. Oboe? Do do do do do do do do do. What? That guy's fucking nice. Do do do do do do do do.

Like a drums? Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do Okay. Foo. Clarinet. No. Foghorn? Foo. Foo. Foo. Cello.

Keyboard that imitates another instrument. No. Oboe. Foo. Foo. Foo. Foo. Foo. No. Oboe. Vee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee higher pitched instrument. No, I think it's a lower voice. It's a lower pitched instrument. How is that a falsetto? Is it a wind instrument, dear? No. Okay.

You're always talking in falsetto, aren't you? His voice is like this. No. It's my impression of you. Hi, I'm Paul Topkins. Is that what I'm doing? Um. Wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh. Wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh, wuh. A little flare on it. Um, that's tough.

I never went wrong. You kind of went wrong. That's false. That's Scott. Hold on. The listener is confused now. Okay. Okay. Yeah. What was that?

What is that? That's a trumpet. That's what you were just, everything sounds like a trumpet. This is the problem with this game. Anything out of the corner of your mouth is a trumpet. Okay, go ahead. Okay. Do it again. Do a tune. I was well do when I know girls just want to have fun. Do a tune. I was. Well, do one I know. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun, do it with this instrument. Foo, foo, foo, foo, foo, foo, foo, foo. That's Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. That's really a downer.

Yeah. Is it a cello? It's still not a cello. It's still not a cello. Um, I don't know. Clock is ticking. What happens if the clock runs down? I leave. I walk right up. We have to do another episode. Um, sorry. It's not. Is it a, is it a string instrument? No. What is it a percussion? Is it a wind instrument? No. What? Is it a percussion? Is it a wind instrument?

Sounds like a wind instrument. You know what? I already said that. That is involved. Organ. No. Pipe organ. No.

Involved. So no type of organ. No, but related perhaps in a way. Harmonica? Accordion. Accordion. Whoa. Accordion. My dad used to play the accordion. In the 1980s, my mom always wanted me to keep going.

My brother took lessons and I had to go to it all the time. I wish I could play the accordion. Yeah, that'd be great. That'd seem like fun. You should learn right now. Call up Al. Why don't you split up your time between learning Italian and accordion?

Then you could be like some dummy on the streets of Italy. Some what? Some dummy on the streets of Italy with a monkey. You know, that's my heritage. What? Yes. Monkey?

I'm half Italian motherfucker. And half monkey. Wow. Yeah. That was a fun game. Is that it? I'm half Italian motherfucker and half monkey. Wow. Yeah That was a fun game Do we have another one? We know any more instruments other than three I can do another one Flute. Yep.

Scott? Here's mine. Bounk, bounk, neer, neer, neer. Guitar! Electric guitar. Yeah. All right. You.

Bing! Triangle. That's right. We're getting good. We're getting really good. Drum. Yeah. Okay, Scott?

Thump, thump. That's right. That's right. This is, we're getting good. We're getting good at this. We're getting really good. Drum. Yeah. Okay, Scott. Thump, thump, thump. Thumper. Thump, thump, thump. Bass drum.

Bass drum. Brrrring. Wind chime. Telephone. Chimes. Did you say telephone? Yes. Not chimes. More telephone should telephone? Yes. Not chimes.

More telephone should be in orchestra. Brrrring, we already had telephone. But it could be a different version of it. Brrrring. Different brand. The chimes. I already said that. I don't care, sweetie.

Honey. Brrrr. No, I get it. Brrrr. Do you? This is G. Because you didn't actually get it. A keyboard imitating chimes. No, I get it Didn't actually get it a keyboard

imitating no piano no, honey, no underwater aquarium piano Yes, thank you. Tell me what it was. What is it? Delil my mit my mit first Should have gotten there You're doing the glissandos. Exactly, as best I could with my mouth. Mm-hmm. Hoo, hoo.

Hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo, hoo. Any guesses? Could you please do it again? Hoo, hoo. Coke bottle. No. What? Recorder? No.

God, this is... You're kind of close. It's a child's recorder. It's an adult version of a recorder. Which is a recorder? Woo, woo, woo, woo. Clarinet. No. Woo woo woo woo woo. A clarinet. Oh, clarinet. Which I played famously in middle school and never practiced and my reed was moldy.

I know I only realized that as an adult. I was like, that's what was happening there. That's why you didn't want to practice because this thing was disgusting. What are you supposed to do with your reeds? Probably get a new one every once in a while. Oh, so it's not a thing you have to clean every time reeds? Probably get a new one every once in a while. Yeah. Oh, so it's not a thing you have to clean every time you play?

Probably should clean it. I think I put it back covered in spit into the little container. I was, you know, 12. Just one slice of spit? Yeah, one little slice of spit. Scott? Oh, are we doing, okay.

Uh, how about, trying to think of all the instruments? All of them. The bass? No. Piano. No. Although, yeah.

Jaws. Jaws, yeah. Jaws, guys. Jaws? Nope, not Jaws. Oh, how about I guess is that. Drums. Kind of drums. Keyboard. Drums that are...

Timpani. Timpani! Thank you. Kind of keyboard? What kind of what? You said kind of. I said kind of drums. No, I said kind of drum. Is it strange that drums, if you can play the drums, you can play like the xylophone. Yeah, strange. You know what I mean?

I guess, you know. Like one has musical notes. I guess you can tune drums to be sort of musical notes, but it always never seemed to translate to me. Like why just because you can play drums and keep a beat, can you then also play the xylophone? Who is saying that you can also play the xylophone? I think you have to learn how to play it.

You have to learn how to play anything. I'm just saying they're related instruments. They're related instruments, but are you saying that if you can play the drums, you can then play the xylophone? I'm saying a lot of drummers also play the xylophone. I think it's a little tense in here, and I think we should wrap it up.

Paul is being very combative. Okay. All right. Very combative. Ff, ff. Ff. Foghorn. Ff. How is that a foghorn? Foooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo This only plays one note? Whistle. At a time. Recorder. Don't do it at the same time. Recorder. Do them consecutively. Recorder. No, no, no. Recorder. It is made, no! It is made to play one note at a time. A slide whistle. Meaning only one note. How am I wrong? Ever. You can play, how are you wrong about what? Slide whistle plays a lot of different notes. Because it's not sliding at all? It's not doing the one thing that slide whistles do. Meaning if you use this instrument during a song,

it can only play one. You don't use it during a song. You use it to pitch, pitch, pitch pipe. Pitch pipe, you both got it. How about this? Congratulations. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Trampoline.

Yep. You think anyone's ever smoked out of a pitch pipe? Yeah. Cool. How about this? Oh, oh. Seal. Dog.

Dog. How about this? Meow. Kitty cat? I don't know. Cow. Cow? No.

Let me do an impression of the thing that you turn over. Oh, okay. That makes it kind of nice. Oh, I loved that when I was a kid. Okay, so you turn it over and then it goes, meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo He's making it up. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Grrrrrrr quickly, before we go, we stayed at a hotel. I think this is in San Francisco. Because is that where Breakfast at Tiffany's is set? Is it?

That doesn't seem possible. It doesn't seem possible. I mean, it seems possible. No, it's gotta be New York, yeah, because of Tiffany's. Wherever we were, maybe it was at the hotel in New York. There was a screen in the lobby that was playing breakfast, breakfast and Tiffany's all day long. Dallas, Dallas. Why? I don't know. But I, they, they were showing old movies.

I think it was an old building. They were only showing that movie. Okay. I don't remember seeing any other movie. Okay. No sound. It's just playing behind glass on a screen. So cut the fucking Mickey Rooney part out. Why is that in there? Oh yeah. I never saw it. If it's just people are not like sitting and watching this movie. Yeah. So you don't have to show for like background purposes. You don't need to have this horrendous visual of this guy wearing fake teeth and glasses.

Yeah. Yeah. It was a weird choice to me. It's crazy. It's strange. Are there other movies like that where like you should excise one complete character from it? I mean, obviously 50 First Dates. Anything with Rob Schneider. And we're going to answer that question. Sorry, I know we can't say that. We're going to answer that question. Sorry. I know we can't say that. We are going to answer that question in our next episode. So listeners, join us next week. If you would like to send us a three, sure, of course, threedmeosehemail.com. If you'd like to leave us a voicemail for our three

Mium episodes every other week, then you can go to the website, hagclames8.com. Hagclames8.com. Leave us a voice message. And if you want to hear the entire archive of all of our episodes. God love you. Go to CBB World, get a subscription

and you'll hear all of them. But if you don't want to do that, we re-release them every week on Tuesday. We call it three visiting on the Tuesdays. We sure do. We'll re-release an old episode and you'll enjoy it because you have to. Yeah.

And then the other thing is, is we do these three medium episodes every other week on Wednesdays. If you have a CBB World subscription, they're up there, as well as if you subscribe to LEMONADA Premium. And that's fantastic. And I hope to see you there. All right, everyone. Bye. This message is brought to you by the Cologuard Test. The American Cancer Society recommends that if you are at average risk, you should begin screening for colon cancer at age 45, no matter your race, ethnicity, or gender.

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