Threedom - Ghosts Say Happy Birthday To Him
Episode Date: April 25, 2024Lauren, Scott, and Paul discuss Scott's self-confidence, poetry, and the dictionary before playing Five Second Rule. Follow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA. Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gm...ail.com. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com. Subscribe at cbbworld.com to gain access to every episode of Threedom ad-free as well as brand new Threemium episodes every other week! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Freedom.
I really didn't know.
This is loud as fuck.
Jesus Christ.
I didn't know we were starting and I'm thrown.
Oh no.
But I caught up during the song.
You did, yeah, you're here now, yeah.
The face that Lauren made when it started was like,
thanks for the heads up, but fine.
Yeah, exactly.
That's exactly what I felt.
Right?
Yep.
That was your face win.
That was that feeling win. That feeling win, yeah. Is it That was your face when that that was that feeling one that feeling
Yeah feeling one or face one feeling I think it's feeling okay because people are always making faces
It's hard because it's hard to convey a feeling without making a face, but you're like that's so true that face when
I can't think of one. Oh, you know what it is? It's because it's MFW, which is my face.
I thought it was my face when.
I don't fucking know.
Because it's always a face.
My feeling.
What?
Let's look it up.
MFW is a thing?
I've never seen it.
I don't know about MFW.
Oh, you don't know about it?
Well, I do.
My face.
What about V?
It's my face one.
My face one.
You're right. And my face one joined the fellowship
and they went to throw the ring in the cracks of vulture.
My face one.
Your favorite movie.
My face one.
My face one, I throw that ring in the volcano.
Before your people depart this plane.
Welcome to Freedom, everyone.
I'm Paul.
I'm Lauren.
I'm Scott, and this is another episode. Did you think that we ended after the last one?umb, everyone. I'm Paul. I'm Lauren. I'm Scott.
And this is another episode.
Did you think that we ended after the last one?
Oh, contrary.
We got news for you.
It might've seemed, it might've seemed like.
Oh my gosh, she's having her baby.
Billy Crystal.
It might've seemed like.
It might've seemed like.
It did.
It did.
Did he have a hot cha cha?
No.
You thought that, no, he didn't have a hot cha cha.
You do know.
That is all that was missing though. Hot hot cha cha? No. You thought that, no, he didn't have a hot cha cha. You do know. That is all that was missing though.
Cha cha cha cha cha cha.
Did you know the rumor that's out there?
Oh shit.
From like, you know, tabloids and such,
or I don't know what.
From the Blois.
DuMois.
It might be on DuMois.
What's the room?
That Martin Short and Meryl Streep are a couple.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I love this.
I love it too.
I love it. It's old news by now. They're probably out and no, there was, they were just out to dinner
snapped by the paparazzi. I had heard about it. They were sharing a single strand of spaghetti
a couple months ago and eventually they kissed. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think that'd be a good kiss.
You don't think that would be a good kiss to have a single strand of spaghetti in between you?
I don't think so. You're crazy, Lauren. Or you don't think that would be a good kiss to have a single shred of spaghetti in between you? You're crazy, Lauren.
Or you don't think Martin Short and Meryl Streep
would be a good kiss?
No, no, no.
That would be a hot kiss.
I think they'd do great together.
Yeah.
They must become crazy.
They must be having so much fun.
Do you remember when Martin Short was on Regis
and Kathie Lee and Kathie Lee forgot that his wife died?
Yeah, he was so classy about it. He was so classy about it.
He was so classy about it.
He brought her up or something.
He's such a very classy.
He like asked, how is she doing?
How's she doing?
And he was like, or something about she's great, isn't she?
I think it was just that first.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Your wife is so great, isn't she?
And he kind of went, yeah.
And then she pressed it and was like, so how's she doing?
And he was like, well, you know, she passed away a year and a half ago.
That's really awkward. And that's why how's she doing? And he was like, well, you know, she passed away a year and a half ago. That's really awkward.
And that's why she's only doing commercials now.
I love it.
Those are really.
Yeah, she's doing commercials for like the vegetable pills or whatever.
And then she's like, you mean peas?
Take your pills.
Cracking up snap.
You swallow four peas with a glass of water.
That should be good.
In the commercial, she's like looking through photo albums
and there's one with Hoda, like a picture of Hoda and her having fun.
Oh great.
I'm like, did you get clearance for that?
That is so odd.
Hoda, can I use your image in an ad for vegetable pills?
I love Hoda.
I love Hoda.
I love Hoda too.
I love Hoda. We love Hoda. I love Hoda too. I love Hoda.
Oh, we love Hoda.
I do love Hoda.
Hoda, come on, freedom.
She's delightful.
And then go on Chapo.
What are you doing?
If Hoda came on Freedom,
it would ruin what we have
because we would be so in awe.
We would be such frauds immediately
because it would be exposed.
She's like an actual
Conversationalist. Host, conversationalist.
She remembers things that people say.
Personality, yeah.
She doesn't forget stories.
Yeah, I'm sure she doesn't.
And repeat them over and over.
She's never told a story twice.
No.
Well, I actually have a ghost story to tell you today.
Oh, holy shit.
Boo!
I thought you were gonna do a drop, yeah.
Light the fire.
So I was giving Holly a bath the other night
and she goes, mommy, there's a ghost behind you.
No, that's not something you wanna hear.
Never. From a child.
No, no.
In front of you?
No problem.
And then I was like, I said, what?
And it's me.
If you're a ghost, you'll be a friendly ghost.
If you're me?
Yeah.
Oh, you'd be so helpful.
I would try to be.
You wouldn't be just sitting there watching this jerk off.
I mean, there'd be a little bit of that.
I have to kill time.
What else is there to do?
Sometimes you're floating around
and you don't know what you're going to see.
And then you don't just leave immediately.
Do you think if you're a ghost, the floating is fun or can you not feel anything? It might feel actually really frustrating. Yeah
Like I wish I could just
Get down on the ground. Yeah, stop drop and roll. I think it would feel like just not satisfying like it's not a full step. Yeah
You wouldn't be able to dance ghost can't dance. I guess they can't
They do all the time. Yeah, yeah, they'll just dance is like a crazy person. He loves he dances
Like no one's watching in the Broadway production. I bet even more
Yeah, you don't have to bet cuz I've seen it
You see
I was with Lauren Bobert. Oh, I heard about this. You were like sucking her.
Her what?
I'm not going to say it.
Anyway, so.
Sucking her kiss.
Oh, thank you, Anthony Kiedis.
So I said, what?
And then she was like, there's a ghost behind you.
I was like, what?
Like I like truly, I looked around and I was like, what?
And I just was like.
I would be so terrified to turn around. I did. I turned around dripping
wet girl with hair. I asked her again, what? And she said it again. I asked her
again, what? I'll put it to you again. What?
And then I looked around slowly and slowly I turned. There was a ghost shaped soap on my shelf.
Oh, soap on a rope.
It's been there for a year and a half.
I got it for Halloween.
Like, yeah, of course.
Oh, you get out with your Halloween soaps.
Yeah, sure.
So yeah, you go around trick or treating,
people put soap in your bag.
I just don't even think about it anymore,
but it was her first time noticing it.
And then I was like, oh yeah, and I was so happy
I just gave it to her and then now it's in the tub.
But I was like, yeah.
And now it's just a circle.
And all its ghost edges sanded off.
I was just so relieved that there was some physical thing
that looked like a ghost
so that I did not have to feel scared in my own home.
Absolutely.
You should put up ghosts all around the house
so that she does it to Mike.
Well, his birthday card, she drew ghosts in it.
Oh, she likes ghosts.
Yeah.
I asked Lauren yesterday,
and I'm so glad I asked her.
To marry you?
Yeah.
And he's so glad. On Mike's birthday?
He's so glad he asked me because I said yes.
And he always wondered.
And then I said, that's all I needed to know.
I'm not gonna do it.
I just want to know.
Will you marry me?
If I would.
I wasn't asking, are you going?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I asked Lauren, what did Holly think about Mike's birthday?
Because it was Mike's birthday yesterday.
Yeah. And I'm so glad I asked. Yeah.? Because it was Mike's birthday yesterday.
And I'm so glad I asked.
Yeah, she thought it was her birthday all day.
She also says when her birthday is,
but she was like, it's my birthday.
At what point did she learn what a birthday,
because we were talking about this the other day.
Was it the second birthday?
Did she realize what it was?
No, it was really from going to parties.
So it's kind of like the more part,
I mean, it was definitely after, I feel like maybe
it was after two.
Yeah. I learned from parties.
And like we went to, had been to enough birthday parties
that like. I learned from parties.
That's what I just said.
She had, then they're singing at school kind of regularly.
Like it's kind of always someone's birthday.
It feels like.
Isn't that the fucking truth, baby?
It is always someone's birthday. It's almost like every day always someone's birthday. It feels like. Isn't that the fucking truth, baby? It is always somebody's birthday.
God damn it.
It's almost like every day is somebody's birthday.
Every weekend, like both days,
I have to go to someone's birthday.
Every weekend is somebody's birthday for two days.
The more she hears the song.
What song?
It goes like this.
Happy.
Now we went to two the other day. One was a fairy, like one was fairies in the park.
It was a fairy quest.
It was all the time.
And it was.
How old was the birthday child?
Six.
Okay.
And so how old was the birthday child?
How old was the birthday child?
How old was the birthday child?
This seems about six years old.
But so, I mean, just kind of like watched,
but it was, it was, I think, you know,
they, the hosts got their money's worth, I will say,
but I think it was a little long for a,
it was an hour, like they,
they really wanted to make sure they got to that hour.
And I kind of feel like the kids were like, this could have been 20 minutes.
Well, a lot of improv. Yeah, it's tough.
The kids, let's get over 20 minutes.
Well, when we sang happy birthday to Mike last night, she went, it's daddy's
birthday. We've been saying it all day.
You drew on a card.
Yeah. Remember how I kept telling you, go say happy birthday to him.
Ghosts say happy birthday. Ghosts say happy birthday!
Ghosts say happy birthday to him!
Um, but anyway, it was super cute.
It might be because I make up the titles.
This is Lauren's bailiwick now.
Wait, did that happen?
That you became the official title of the group?
Yes, she's the official titleist of Freedom.
Since our transfer.
When did that happen?
She has responsibilities now. Since we left, since our transfer. When did that happen? She has responsibilities
since we left, since we left,
since we've been gone.
When was this discussed?
I suppose Scott begged me to do it
because he said he was too afraid.
I doubt that.
I highly know he begged me to
because he was afraid to
remember to single thing.
We've done.
That's not true.
Oh, that's not true.
He was really afraid to express his creativity
by making up the titles and writing the summaries
that he begged me to do it.
And he said, you will not receive compensation.
Lauren, please.
Scott, I want you to listen to a little song called
Roar by Katy Perry, because I think it will help you
discover some self-confidence.
OK, I'll try to do that.
Can you put it on?
Yeah, I'll try.
Kidz Bop version?
Okay, roar Kidz Bop.
I wanna say this to the listener.
Never doubt our commitment to Kidz Bop.
First we have an ad for something called Kugali?
No, from the makers of Kugali?
Don't help them.
Here, what do you think so far? do you feel I don't feel confident yet
Yeah, that's how I feel
Yeah, that's how I feel would you do something with a bow and make a mess? Yeah
Did that happen to you I guess well, I don't remember not remembering it
Did you fall for everything this song stupid is just describing how I'm feeling right now
Okay, nope
Okay, forget it.
This song's so...
No, stop!
I know, he'll never have confidence.
I'm never gonna have confidence.
No, we'll never hear him roar!
What if Katy Perry was just like, and that's it.
I used to be like this, and now I still do.
I'm a loser.
Bye!
I watched a clip from American Idol Reel to recap,
which I don't watch these days.
But...
Someone sent you a clip.
No, no, the Instagram.
You found a clip.
Somebody shared a clip and I thought, I'll click that.
Yeah, for old time's sake.
To see someone sing well, sure.
Yeah, why wouldn't I?
It was moving. Are you okay?
It was amazing.
It was beautiful.
What song was it? And then they all go,
that might be the Wex winner. The Wex winner? The Wex go, that might be the wax winner.
The wax winner?
The next winner.
That might be the wax winner.
That might be the next winner.
They all said, that might be the wax winner.
The song she sang was a Billie Eilish song
called The One From Barbie.
The One From Barbie.
What was I made for?
And she played piano.
Did she sing like this?
No, she just sang well.
What was I made for?
Yeah.
I do, the worst clip on Instagram,
like the worst audio clip that people use a lot,
like, I think, it's like,
I think I like this little life.
Or something.
Yeah, I've only seen people making fun of it.
I've seen real ones.
It's like people holding their toddler and like doing something that's like...
And that's from an actual song?
I don't know.
Should we look it up?
Okay, okay, okay.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Let me at least handcuff.
Look, look.
It's someone called Cordelia.
Let's hear it.
From Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Cordy?
Oh wait, here we go.
I'm not hearing what you're talking about.
You can't hear the words?
I can't.
Is there a ghost in this song?
They're just repeating them over and over again.
What?
You can't hear them.
I think I like it.
I thought it was, oh no, that was good.
Honestly, I wasn't looking and I honestly thought
that was the real vocal. Wait, let it play.
We have to.
What do you have me describe?
Describe.
With light.
With light.
We'll get into the part where she says that.
No, I think we're gonna sing it.
If you can see the lyrics then just.
Why does everyone sing like this now?
Wish light. I know, that's what you're saying. It's like. I can't see the lyrics, I'm just... Why does everyone sing like this now? Wish like...
I know what you're saying!
Wish why we were, why we do it.
Wow, why are you pointing at me?
Stop fucking pointing at me!
It is like that now.
Everyone's like,
I wanted to be so tame.
I turned around,
you broke my heart.
Hahahaha! I guess everyone in the 40s sing like,
we've moved past the idea that everyone should sing the same tone.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Well, I'm sure I've talked about this, but I always wonder how people find their singing
voice in that way. It's like where you're like, Oh, that person's a successful
singer, but they sound nothing like that. They talk to us like that. They do.
They're like doing almost like an accent. When did that get put on?
I don't know. You don't know. No.
Jim neighbors. The most classic example of voice don't match singing.
Because he talk like this, Sarge, what are you going to do?
And then he would sing like this.
Let the music play.
Don't get away.
Sounds really good. What's that song?
Let the music play. Shannon.
Is that who sang that song? Yeah.
Let it play! Okay.
Okay, we would like to.
I want to hear the part of those songs.
No!
I want you to fucking hear the parts!
I already closed it, I don't give two shits.
I think I like this little life.
I think I like this little life.
I think I like this little life.
That's my phrase if I ever have to do an Irish accent again. There you go. I think I like this little life. That's my phrase if I ever have to do an Irish accent again.
There you go.
I think I like this little life.
The eyes of Vorge.
God.
Stop it.
Shrek.
Shrek.
I Shrek.
Donkey.
She's never gonna say it.
Can I say this?
I think Shrek sucks.
Okay.
I think he sucks.
You don't like as a person?
I'm not a person.
I'm a dog.
I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I'm a dog. I Shrek. Donkey. She's never gonna say it. Can I say this?
I think Shrek sucks.
Okay.
I think he sucks.
You don't like as a person?
I don't think he fucks. I mean as an ogre.
No, he's great at being an ogre.
But I do think he's not funny.
He wasn't even like always an ogre.
So it's kind of interesting.
It's kind of one of those things like you should try things.
Shrek is nice.
I don't give a shit.
He's a nice person.
You know what? Shrek actually holds up. He's a nice person. You know what, Shrek actually holds up.
He's a tryhard and I hate him.
Shrek actually holds up.
And just cause you're dressed like him today.
Yeah.
So I'm wearing a sweater?
You have a plaid hat on.
Wait, does he wear a plaid hat?
Nobody's Scottish.
He should.
You just have a Shrek air about you.
Oh no, this is bad news for me.
I'm disturbed here.
You know that they did the whole thing with Chris Farley? Yes, I did. Oh, the whole, I didn't know it you. Oh no, this is bad news for me. I'm disturbed to hear this.
You know that they did the whole thing with Chris Farley?
Yes, I did.
Oh, the whole, I didn't know it was the whole thing.
The whole thing, the whole thing, the whole thing.
And then they were like, nah, let's throw it away.
No, he passed.
Yes.
I don't think they did the whole thing.
They did like three quarters of it.
That much?
You're just guessing.
Why didn't they just go ahead and-
She said it so confidently.
Because they weren't done.
And they had to start over.
And if they want to do four of them, they're going to need somebody else.
Why didn't they get somebody who could do a Chris Farley voice?
I don't know. I would like to hear the difference down by the river.
That's how you did.
Shrek. Oh, God.
Donkey.
What are you looking up?
You're looking at how much he did about 85% eat my shit.
Well, you said three quarters.
I said 75. And you said, I'm, you're making that up.
There's no way. How come they wouldn't just, you didn't get it right.
Well, I was close.
Does it remember? I said he probably did 85%.
No, no.
You did. Don't lie to us, Paul.
You're under oath.
He did about 85%.
About 85%.
About.
So 84% probably.
We don't know. We can't get the exact facts and figures.
We won't know. Isn't that weird? We won't know until we go to heaven.
I know.
And then it's the first thing they tell you.
We'll just see all the sessions.
Chris Farley did 86% of Shrek.
I think there was an S&L sketch that was all about that, which I found very fascinating.
About him doing Shrek?
It was like someone dying and then St. Peter taking them through.
Oh, it was Dana Carvey and Kevin Nealon?
Yeah, yeah.
What's the eighth most disgusting thing?
That was a very atypical sketch because it was very quiet, but it was really funny.
It was like, how many bugs have I swallowed in my life or something like that?
Yeah. He's like, what's the grossest thing I ever ate? And he's like, how many bugs have I swallowed in my life or something like that?
He's like, what's the grossest thing I ever ate?
And he's like, I can't tell you that.
You'll lose your mind.
He's like, okay, what's the thousandth and one grossest thing?
Right.
Yeah, it was really, was it funny?
Yeah, it was good.
Yeah, it was funny.
It was really funny.
Restrained performance by Carvey,
the like of which we have rarely seen.
They're great.
Lauren, if you could,
if you could star as either Hans or Franz,
which one would you star?
Oh my God, I hate this question.
Oh, wow.
So basically I think of them as being the same.
Oh, come on.
What?
What are you talking about?
Hans and Franz are the same?
One is Hans and one is Franz.
I would be Hans.
The taller one.
Yeah, that seems right.
Yeah.
Just based on odds, I'm sure whoever I'd be paired with
probably be shorter than me.
You're either a Hans or a Franz.
Which one are you?
I'm more of a Franz, I think.
Wow.
I'm definitely a Hans.
Yeah, I can see that.
I'm giving Hans right now?
It's Hans season. It's giving Hans. We have to take a I'm definitely a Hans. Yeah, I can see that. I'm giving Hans right now? It's Hans season.
It's giving Hans.
Mm-hmm.
We have to take a break speaking of giving Hans.
Wow.
So bye.
But when we come back,
we'll have an exciting new story to tell you.
Why would you say that?
Let's come up with one.
Oh no, we gotta go live some life.
Okay, we'll be back in a week.
Bye.
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Oh guys, guess what?
What?
Chicken butt?
Oh yeah, I was gonna say chicken butt.
Then I have two things.
Oh, okay. What's the first one?
Chicken butt.
First one, chicken butt.
Okay, got it.
Second one is this show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
You're kidding me.
No, I wouldn't joke about it.
That's so cool.
Well, this is interesting because I was wanting
to ask our listeners, how is your social battery
doing these days?
Are you feeling drained or a little burnt out?
Well, Lauren, it's so weird that you would ask our listeners
that because I was going to say it can be easy to ignore
our social battery and spread ourselves thin.
It's really important to step back and figure out
the right amount of socializing for us.
That's weird because what I was going to say was therapy can give you the self-awareness
to build a social life that doesn't drain your battery.
Well, that's really crazy because I was going to say a good therapist shows you how to set
boundaries, strengthening that muscle so you're much less likely to agree to things you maybe
don't have the energy for.
That's so odd because what I was going gonna say next kind of relates to what you were saying,
which is if you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It is super convenient,
flexible, and fits right into your schedule. Are you ready to get goosebumps? Okay. Because... R.L. Stein time.
I was gonna say you can do it all from the comfort of your own home.
You just fill out a brief questionnaire to get match with a licensed therapist and switch
therapists anytime for no additional charge. This is going to sound crazy, but I actually
have a code that would help people for this. What would tell us? So you can find your social
sweet spot with better help. You just visit better help.com slash freedom today to get 10% off your first month. Okay, that's better
H-e-l-p dot com slash freedom. Oh, that's how you spell help
Hi there, it's Julia Louis Dreyfus You may know me from my podcast called wiser than me where I talk to older women and get their wisdom from the front lines
Of life after season one aired, I was amazed by how many people told me our show made them look
forward to getting older.
Which is why I'm here to talk about season two of the show.
Sally Field, Billie Jean Kane, Beverly Johnson, Ina Garten, Bonnie Rae, just to name a few,
and of course my 90-year-old mom, Judy.
All hail old women. Wiser Than Me Season Two is out now from Lemonade Media.
And we're back.
Zadidu-dodo.
Zadidu-dodo.
Zadidu-dodo.
Zadidu-dodo.
You know how last week or the week before
we were talking about our friend, Eggo.
Yeah.
Yeah. And this reminded me. We our friend, Eggo. Yeah.
And this reminded me- We got a lot of letters.
Yeah, oh my gosh.
Just loving it.
Just saying like, thanks for mentioning her.
Please talk about her more.
That was fun.
But no, I sent her this the other day
and it reminded me of this thing we read about you
that was actually right on the money.
Oh my God, I know that guy predicted my pregnancy.
Yeah.
Which, remember we read like a weird article that was like- Like an money. Oh my God, I know that guy predicted my pregnancy. Yeah. Which, remember we read like a weird article
that was like translated to like-
No, I think it was like an AI article maybe.
I don't know what it was.
But maybe it was before AI.
Oh, people ask this about Lauren Lapfus.
Yeah, what is her pregnancy?
Okay, so here's one.
And they said I was gonna have a baby in 2023.
And I was like, no.
Which I didn't do, but I mean, I did get pregnant.
Yeah, here's one.
Is Egowodim pregnant?
A comprehensive exploration of clues and fans eager anticipation of the SNL stars personal
joyous news.
That is so psychotic.
Is Eggo Wodim pregnant?
Eggo Wodim born in Baltimore, Maryland.
Oh, so nice of you.
Is a notable figure in the, Maryland. Oh, so nice of you. When you walk through the garden.
Is a notable figure in the entertainment world.
With her Nigerian background,
she brings a rich cultural mix to her work.
So true.
Wodum completed her studies
at the University of Southern California,
earning a degree in biology
and showcasing her diverse skills.
Then a lot of like blah, blah, blah about her career.
All right, and then after the career,
no, Ego Wodum is not having a baby. Why did you write the article? like blah, blah, blah about her career. All right, and then after the career,
no, Ego Wodim is not having a baby.
Oh.
Why did you write the article?
She hasn't said anything about being pregnant,
so it's not clear if she's going to have a baby or not.
Yeah, write about any,
you could literally say about anything at all.
Here's why.
The talk about Ego Wodim being pregnant
started when she shared photos on her Instagram.
People started talking.
Where she wasn't pregnant. People started talking.
Where she wasn't pregnant.
People started talking and guessing about it because of these pictures
of Bowen Yang's husband. What?
They're saying that she's with Bowen Yang.
Oh, my God. Since Wodim hasn't officially said anything about being pregnant,
those rumors are just guesses based on how people interpret the photos.
Cool. And then they show this picture of her and Bowen.
I do think like 90% of the internet should be deleted.
So if I'm reading this correctly,
so because of pictures of Bowen Yang's husband,
people are asking if Eggo is pregnant.
No, they think he's her husband.
They show this picture of her and Bowen together.
That they're in love.
Eggo Wodum is sharing her love story with her future husband,
Bowen Yang.
Oh, her future husband.
They're not just dating, they are engaged.
The couple even posted pictures on their social media
showing off their engagement rings.
No, they didn't.
Wait, did they?
They have been a couple for a long time,
supporting each other every step of the way.
I do think they joked that.
It seems like they might be planning to get married soon
and their friends and fans are excited to hear more about it.
Yeah, that's true.
I'm excited to hear more.
I'm thrilled. There's way more. I don more about it. Yeah, that's true. I'm excited to hear more. I'm thrilled.
There's way more.
I don't need it.
In case you're wondering.
You need a little more.
Okay, fine.
Do two more.
Two more?
Two more what?
Sentences or words?
Pages.
Words.
Words, words, words.
Um, Eggo and Bowen are an interracial couple as mentioned in her hashtag.
In one picture, they are sitting on a couch holding hands. Bowen has a paper bracelet with the date 2-3-21 written on it in blue letters.
The photo was a fun moment after Bowen.
2-3-21 written on it in blue letters.
What could it mean?
Can you put that together?
2-3-21 written in blue letters.
Well, it's the way the numbers are spelled out.
T-W-O.
Oh, here's how it all started.
The photo was a fun moment after Bowen jokingly proposed to her on SNL by going down on one
knee.
Bowen also shared a picture saying, announcements, I'm straight now, this is my girlfriend, alongside
a photo of them holding hands.
And the person writing this was like, that's all true.
That's great. Yeah. Anyway, great. Congrats. I love journalism.
But, but the one that we read about you was actually true.
Everything they said was true. Yeah. Yeah. So some hits. You are married to husband and my castle. Yeah.
So I think that this must be true.
I sent it to Ego and she just sent a gift of her
nervously pulling her collar going ehhh. So it might be true. She self-gifted? Yeah.
It's a power move. I like to do that. It was her pulling her collar? I think she was pulling
someone else's collar actually. She was pulling someone else's collar. Someone was nervous near her and he couldn't pull their collar
So she's always helpful. She kindly did it for them. Yeah
Would you mind pulling this death kindly stopped for me?
You're writing a poem. I was remembering a book. Did you have you ever written a poem? Oh my god. Yeah, I've wrote oh
I wrote poems and song lyrics when I was in high school. Really?
Yes.
You had to.
I had to.
No one had to.
You compelled.
And I cannot imagine, I still have the notebook.
I would be-
It's notebook two, Paul's lyrics.
I think I would cringe to death if I were to read them.
Can you bring them next week or the week after?
I can't promise anything. I can't promise anything.
I can't promise anything.
No, my poem was, one of my poems was published in a,
in a collection of student poetry across America.
Across America.
Okay, okay.
So when you read student poetry,
do you give it like more of a pass?
You have to.
Yeah. Yeah.
That's all about, I don't remember which poem it was though.
My favorite student poem, no more pencils, no more books.
No more.
I wrote a poem about the glass menagerie or like inspired by the glass menagerie.
Wow. Like fanfic.
I don't know. I don't know if it was an English assignment or if I just showed it
to my English teacher, but she loved it.
And she used it as an example for years to come. She loved it.
Wow. When did she stop? When was she like, boy, the shelf life on this? She loved it and she used it as an example for years to come, she loved it.
Wow.
When did she stop?
When was she like, boy the shelf life on this is not.
I only know about it happening for like one to two years.
So I really don't know.
Who's one to two years?
One to two years.
She's this woman who will do anything you want.
For two years.
For two years.
And then she's done.
It cuts you off.
It's a contract and it's a docu-sign
and it's like a whole thing.
I love DocuSign.
God, DocuSign is one of the best things ever.
It's really great.
You can do it from your phone now.
It feels like it's gotten better.
What are some of the best, some of the best inventions?
DocuSign.
Oh my God, Adobe Acrobat.
Yes.
Final draft, will they make you buy a new one
any time someone else has a new one?
They're so hyped on this new final draft.
Why do they make you buy it every time?
You can't update the app or the software.
It's actually criminal.
Yeah, it's criminal.
So if I'm working with a friend who is...
No, it should still work for you, the one that you bought.
You can't collab unless you have the exact same...
You mean all the new features on the new version?
You literally can't sync up.
You cannot have the person collab on there with you.
You used to be able to before.
It's, I don't think, you always have had to have
the same exact model.
And then you have to buy another one
and it's like hundreds of dollars.
That's bullshit.
It's bullshit.
It's like Microsoft Word.
How much do you make on your screenplay?
Is it like a million?
Three million. It's like Microsoft Word. How much do you make on your screenplay? Is it like a million? Three million.
It's a great investment.
I got into it with whoever's in charge
of the dictionary app.
This was the...
You got into it with them?
Yeah, the dictionary app's gotten worse.
Can you look up the word for fucking cunt
and that's you, bitch.
Hey, are you talking to Paul?
Oh my God, Lauren.
Lauren is in a mood today.
That was Lauren.
I always think about this kid who listens to us now and I'm like, I gotta bleep that.
Kid, this is another thing we talked about in front of me.
There's kids who listen to this show.
Hey kids, turn this shit off.
It's not for you.
If you're a kid listening to this,
let me tell you about something called Toffee Fae, okay?
This was a candy that was too good for kids.
I don't know what this is.
So that's basically a Three in a Minute Toffee Fae.
It's a little round hazelnut cup.
I think I'm allergic to hazelnut.
With a little chocolate disc on the top.
How little? How disc? New phone, who disc? Lately I've been getting itchy mouth when I eat hazelnut.
Ew. So I'm like, I think I'm out. Gross. I can't do it anymore. So for that reason, I'm out.
In that situation, do you like scratch your mouth? I have my dog scratch my mouth. Yeah, that makes
sense. That makes sense. because they're great at it.
What were you gonna say?
Well, to first finish about this candy,
Toffee Fae, their ad campaign was,
Toffee Fae, it's too good for kids.
Toffee Fae is too good for kids.
And you know what?
It was because it was a more adult kind of candy.
Yeah, I remember certain candies
that parents used to like,, I remember certain candies that,
that parents used to like that I would just be like, uh, that's,
it's too specific. Was it always just like coffee?
Flavors. This was not coffee or toffee.
It was not coffee flavored. Okay. It's toffee flavored. But,
but as a kid, did you like toffee? Yeah.
Is it supposed to be like pig Latin? Was it sweet? I liked it.
Toffee, Fay. What would supposed to be like pig Latin? Was it sweet? I liked it. Hmm. Toffee-Fey.
What would that be?
Fae-toffee.
Yeah.
Foo-toffee.
So as a kid though, did it make you want to eat it?
Of course it did!
And no one-
The forbidden fruit?
No one ever let you?
No.
Shopkeepers would say, uh-uh.
Really?
Let me see your ID, son.
You know what I always thought was the grossest sparkling water.
I still don't like sparkling water.
I don't believe my thirst to be slaked.
I have Googled it and it does quench your thirst.
I know, but it doesn't feel like I don't.
Hydration is different than quenching your thirst.
No, but it is hydrating.
Yeah.
That's, that's what I'm saying.
Huh?
But it's doing that.
It may hydrate you, but it's not quenching your thirst.
Yeah, not like...
It's like, I'm gargling with salt.
What quenches your thirst?
What's the thirst quenching?
No, but the brand of soda.
The thirst quencher?
You know, they'd be like, it's...
Yeah, that is something.
Quest your thirst.
Quest your thirst.
The thirst quencher is...
Wasn't that an iced tea?
Was it Fanta?
Gatorade.
Gatorade, the classic thirst quencher.
And you know what, that would quench it.
Yeah, that quenches and hydrates.
Gatorade, they know what they're doing.
And this is not an ad.
We gotta talk.
We're so late on this, but the Reese Atisa TikTok,
52 part TikTokic toc.
I don't know what this is.
I watched the whole thing.
So it's about this woman.
It's a woman talking to the camera on tic toc.
You watched one part a week?
She made 52 parts.
I literally watched them all within two days
and I did start doing double speed
because I was like, I can't.
She did not do it.
It was eight hours.
It was more than eight hours.
This is it.
It's a tic toc series this woman made about her path,
her husband, ex-husband who was a pathological liar.
It's called, Who the fuck did I marry?
And so she's like, who the fuck did I marry part seven?
So, okay.
So, and she's like telling you this whole story.
And-
In chronological order.
In really excruciating detail.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like there's like, and then we woke up
and then we went to the store.
It's like, you know, you're literally like-
But the details are-
Oh no, they're good.
Yeah. And then by the end,
there's just one part that I just thought of from what you said,
where shit starts. He's a pathological liar.
He, yeah, he lies about everything.
He said Gatorade doesn't throok, quench your thirst.
He doesn't, he doesn't throok, quench.
And he, he, he has this like sort of, I don't know what happens to him,
he hurts his knee and he can't get out of bed
and he's losing weight rapidly.
It's a very odd sort of downfall.
I wish I had this, whatever it is.
Yeah, don't get out of bed and hammer it.
Ow!
Don't break your knee.
And then she finally goes into the room.
And lose weight.
I won't give away anything about it that's happening around that in case people do care.
It's also been months probably since this has happened.
But she finds that he's been pissing in Gatorade Powerade bottles.
He's only drinking Powerade.
He's not eating food and he's peeing in it.
I was not in the room when Jenny was listening.
And then he has since released his own sort of how-to Viet bottle.
And everyone's like, why are you putting your face on camera?
I don't know who you are.
Because she doesn't use his name.
She gives him a pseudonym.
Right.
I bet the 100 people who knew that he was married to her
are like, you pee in bottles?
Yeah, and so he has to come out.
He made up a whole thing that she cheated on him,
but he's such a liar.
That's their one takeaway.
And then his ex-wife also spoke untitled.
No, he was the cheater. Oh, but I thought you said he. One takeaway and then his ex-wife also spoke on TikTok.
No, he was the cheater.
Oh, but I thought you said he.
No, he said he caught her cheating.
That's why their relationship ended.
And she's like, you're a liar.
No, this wasn't said in front of me.
The lies are out of this world though.
Do you know pathological liars?
I've supposedly, but.
Yeah.
I think that I have, yeah.
I have, but I don't.
Oh no, I knew a guy. I knew a I have yeah, I have but I don't know
I knew that were lying. I knew a guy that just he refused to admit he had all these stories that
If you asked any follow-up question, he didn't have an answer for it and was like just admit this is not right
Yeah, that's a way. It's just you and me here
What is the peeing in bottles thing? Like, you know how Tina Fey talks about like comedy writers all peeing bottles
I think that's specific to her friends?
I really have never heard of people doing that.
I heard that about a beloved SNL cast member
who used to piss in jars and leave it in the office,
and then the assistant would have to take that off.
So it's just an SNL thing because they all are...
Because they're all psychotic people.
They're all psychotic and they're meant to...
They also are, like, compelled to stay there all night
for some reason.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's like a cult mentality led by a weirdo.
I'm trying to think if I've ever pissed
in anything other than a toilet.
What about a mouth?
Jesus, Lord.
God, I'm sick.
I guess a shower.
Oh, Lord. Lord, it's cracking up. I guess a shower. I guess a shower.
You never, you never pissed outside?
Oh, I pissed outside.
Yeah.
Aren't you a guy?
So outside a toilet.
It's one of the burs.
I've pissed outside and never, oh my God, I was always, I didn't think I've had to pee
outside like for various reasons.
I must have pissed in one bottle on a road trip. I'm sure you did. You must have. I was always, I think I've had to pee outside like for various reasons.
I must have pissed in one bottle on a road trip.
I'm sure you did.
You must have.
I must have.
And then a diaper when I was really young,
like one day old to maybe about three or so.
Like you just did it the other day
just to see what it was like.
I guess in the womb.
I don't know what I was doing in there.
I guess my piss is all over the place.
Honestly, that time for me is like very hazy.
Yeah, I don't remember much of it.
Yeah.
What is your early, do you have an earliest memory?
And then I want to get back to dictionary.com.
I remember coming out of the womb and being like,
it's bright, it's bright in here.
Let me back in.
And then there were six more weeks to winter.
You wanted to go back in?
Yeah, Lauren.
Tell us about dictionary.com. You got into it.
Yeah. So what'd you do about that? So this was, I'm trying to
remember what, what was it was not the Oxford. It was, it was
the dictionary app and I really loved it. No dictionary.com slash slash the source comm has gotten terrible now, and if they're a sponsor, I apologize has gotten terrible
What do you know? It's like the source.com you still miss every there's like half of the words. It's just the shrug emoji
There's like we're not sure you figured out try to use it in context
No now they only they only list a few and they're like, do you want to read more?
Yeah. This was the American Heritage Dictionary, something like that. It was a great dictionary
heritage foundation. And then they great they updated it and then they made they tried to charge you again for it.
Charge again. Oh, it was an app that you bought. Yeah. And they're like, hey, buy it again.
Yeah, it's like, well, if the physical dictionary
was updated, you'd have to buy it again.
I'm like, yeah, but this isn't that.
But I wouldn't have to.
You're making people-
I would keep my old one.
They were charging full price for it.
Right. No, no.
How much does the app-
Because they added like Riz or whatever.
Is it like, is it like Microsoft Word,
now you have to have a subscription?
Holy fuck, man, Microsoft Word?
I'm gonna say this on Mike.
Oh man.
Remember who I am when I go to use your app.
Listen, Microsoft Word.
Stop forgetting me and ask me
if I wanna sign up for a plan.
$160.
For how long?
For a year?
I don't know. That's too much for Microsoft
Or you can get it for a one-time free trial for a month and get it for a one-time fee of $80
I don't know. There's there's different I know facts and figures out here, but I just think it should be free with your phone or computer
I think the same way it used to be wasn't it free?
To buy it like a pack pages Pages is like Microsoft Office.
Yes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Where you get all those five.
Yes, pages.
Pages isn't.
I'll say it eight times.
But pages isn't Word.
It doesn't have all the features.
Well, you love the features so much, pay for them.
I don't want it at all.
I use Google Word.
Do you wish that you had Microsoft,
but all the things were in a different place?
Yeah.
Get pages.
Pages is just like nothing. Pages is like,
Pages is fine. And it converts to word.
It do's.
Pages is dirt on the bottom of the shoe.
So you got into it and what happened?
And the guy was like, well, all right.
Who's the guy?
I had to talk to a guy.
You had to talk to an actual person?
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Was he like a little guy in glasses
who was like the face of the dictionary?
Yeah.
Point Dexter looking motherfuckin'.
Exactly.
I stood over and was like,
uh, I think you're giving it to me for free.
And he's like, all right.
But yeah, the guy admitted. He admitted it. He admitted it? Oh my God.. But yeah, the guy admitted.
He admitted it?
Oh my God.
Oh my God, the guy admitted that.
Yeah, I guess that you have a point that.
It's stupid.
You know, we didn't print a copy of the dictionary.
Then now you have to buy a new version.
And then eventually it stopped working.
They were like, no, we're cracking down on these people.
Really?
Yeah. So many things.
I think that you should, when you're born, you should pay a bunch of money and then you
get everything for free the rest of your life. That makes sense to me.
Yeah. How much?
Like considering that all the stuff you'll have to pay for, you know, with inflation
or buy inflation rather,
like $3 million.
So everybody just has a one time.
One time $3 million fee.
And then you get food, shelter,
but it's a good house or what?
Like, yeah.
You get everything.
Yeah. And everyone's house is exactly the same.
And everyone gets the same amount of toilet paper.
This sucks.
Maybe I'm a communist.
Not good at it. Everyone gets the same amount of toilet paper. This sucks. Maybe I'm a communist. And not good at it. Everyone gets the same amount of toilet paper for your life.
That can't be good.
Yeah.
Why did you just say this sucks in the middle of?
He didn't even like what you were talking about.
Oh, I thought you were looking at something
and you were saying, this sucks.
No, I was trying to find the dictionary app
but it's not there anymore.
So they just erased it.
They took it from you.
I think they went out of business.
No, I'm looking in the store.
They went out of business, I guess.
Which dictionary went out of business?
The American heritage.
I thought it was American heritage.
I don't understand why that costs any money.
A dictionary dictionary app.
I can Google any word I want.
Well, that's true. Can you?
That's true. I like I like having the app. Try to Google one right now. Okay.
But liquor.
Can't find that in the dictionary.
Okay. Who is Bill Butlicker?
And who is he? He's a character voiced by Jim Halpert during the episode of Customer Survey on The Office.
I guess I could have written that episode.
This is our crossover episode, by the way,
with Office Lady.
Wait, on a network sitcom, they had a character
named Bill Butlicker?
Yes.
It's like a character Jim Halpert was doing.
No, he was calling on the phone going like,
I think it's funny.
Well, of course.
Television is funny.
Filthy.
All right, we have to take a break.
Hey everyone, it's David Duchovny.
Do you ever feel like a failure?
Trust me, I get it.
Hell, I've spent my whole life almost
feeling like a failure.
It's appropriate though,
because on Fail Better, my new podcast with Lemonado Media,
exploring the world of failure, how it holds us back, propels us forward, and ultimately
shapes our lives, is the whole point.
Each week I'll chat with artists, athletes, actors, and experts about how our perceived
failures have actually been our biggest catalysts for growth, revelation,
and even healing. Through these conversations, I hope we can learn how to embrace the opportunity
of failure and fail better together.
Fail Better is out on May 7th, wherever you get your podcasts.
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And we're back! We're back! It's Three-Chir time. I'm so excited. I'm so excited and I just can't hide it.
I'm about to lose control. I love my caffeine pills. I love my caffeine pills.
Is that Kathy Lee's?
Yeah, that's her theme song.
For Little Peas. Yeah, they play it.
They play it when she comes out of space.
She eats four coffee beans.
I love my caffeine.
I drink my energy pills.
She drinks them with water.
She doesn't know what pills are.
Guys, it's Three-Ture Time. Yes, this Three-Ture Time is when we play a parlor game. And if you would, guys, it's Three-Ture Time.
Yes, this Three-Ture Time is when we play a parlor game.
And if you would like to send us a Three-Ture, write to us at
threedomusa.gmail.com.
Yes.
And we thank you for your submissions.
And for your service, assuming you've been in the Armed Forces.
Um, this is Five Second Rule.
I don't know if we played this version of it, but this was submitted by tamer.
Maybe a lion. I don't know.
Anything tamer. Yeah. Um,
and the object of this is to name three things in five seconds.
So I assume we go clockwise and um, the, uh,
person says, uh,
name three famous Jennifers.
And then the next person has five seconds to answer three famous Jennifers.
Um, if they succeed, they get a point.
If they fail, the next player gets a chance to answer, but can't use any of the,
uh, ones that the first person answered.
Wrinkle in time.
Keep Madeline Langle
Yes, and you keep alternating until someone wins a point I love those books when I was a kid which ones wrinkle in time
One or those I remember it being trippy then I saw the movie. It was pretty trippy I was in the wrinkle in time boring. I guess I should see it. Zach Califianakis your co-worker is to
That movie looked a little too theme parky for me.
That seems random that he's in it. Yeah, he gave me a free blu-ray of it
as a punishment
For putting him in there. Yes. You put him in it? No
Okay, so five second rule. I play Zach Kalifidakis all the way out.
Let's not try to get too hard with each other. Let's ease into this.
What do you say? I agree. What happened last time? You're traumatized.
No, I'm just saying we were really challenging to each other and it devolved into a lot of tears.
I remember the Lord of the Flies type of situation. Yeah, you guys both were crying.
We murdered someone calling me piggy.
OK, that happens in that, right? Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Someone gets called piggy. Yeah. That happens in that, right? Yeah.
Someone gets called Piggy, yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Don't even worry about it.
That's like a big part of it, right?
That's like kind of the whole thing.
He's the voice of reason and they murder him.
No.
And he has glasses.
He has?
Yeah, he has glasses.
And they break his glasses?
He's fat and he has glasses.
Yes.
And then they murder him?
Yes.
Oh.
That's a bad sequence of events.
But this guy. Agreed. So they cut off his head? Yes That's a bad sequence of events
Agreed So they cut off his head. What did we talk about this on this show that I don't know Gene
Siskel had a problem with one of his problems with the movie the Lord of the Flies
Was that the book the Lord of the Flies didn't exist in the movie
What?
So everything is like that so that it like, I think the idea was that.
The book exists in the book?
Maybe it was a yeah.
The kids are constantly like, this is like Lord of the Flies.
Because maybe it was a version.
It was a modern version.
It might have been a modern version.
And he for some reason was like,
how can you not acknowledge the book Lord of the Flies?
I mean, it's like, what does he not get about it?
It's a lot like, like if you're watching a Batman movie.
And you're like, why don't they just say
there's movies about Batman?
Yeah, or why it's a world where like in 1989,
no one was excited about going to see Batman.
That's what I think they should do in Godzilla movies.
And I've said this online.
I think the Godzilla movies now they should say, should reference Godzilla movies. Right yeah. It's vampire
movies that never mentioned Dracula like where they're all like what is this? He's
biting people's necks? How about the Mark's famous one? Well yeah when they're I don't
have a problem with that it used to bother me and then I understood why they did it like
with zombies like when they wouldn't say the word zombie. Oh, I know, they say walker or whatever.
Yeah, and I was like, oh, because they're trying to,
they're creating their own universe
where this is the first instance of this happening.
Yeah, but we live in a society.
We live in a society as-
Have you seen, and maybe we've talked about it,
the videos of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert like fighting.
It's so good. So funny. It's so good.
I highly recommend Googling that.
Okay. I read there the book about them recently. The,
you read it to them. I read it to them.
I went to their grave sites separately.
Well, they are buried side by side.
You just read it out loud. They might hear it.
With their thumbs pointing up
Yeah, their wives are pissed
Okay, so are you guys ready I'll start I'm ready I'll give Paul the
I'm just very quickly and I'll look at this later, but I'm looking up
Did Gene Siskel actually say that about Lord of the Flies great, okay, because what if I'm wrong?
What if you what if you were?
What if we one time said something that wasn't true?
So now this is hard because you have to name three things,
but you also have to think of a separate thing
to give to the other person, right?
Yeah, but we can pause after you get it.
Okay, but thinking of things is the hardest.
Thinking of things is the hardest, yeah.
We could, well, I don't know how to fix this.
All right. Here we go.
Ready. I'm going to Paul as Paul is to my left.
Yes. Clockwise classic.
Paul name three.
Comic strips.
Lil Abner, gasoline alley, drabble.
Right. What?
Lauren, I didn't know two of them.
Name three types of hat.
Popper Joker.
So what the fuck? Popper! Joker!
What was the first one?
Popper?
Pauper?
What is that?
And Joker is a human head I don't think
Popper!
Popper!
Okay, it goes to me
I'm gonna cry
Okay, but can we check in real quick?
What does a popper have?
I don't know.
I think you mean like a por- like a Newsy?
That was the first point you said.
I guess I could've said like, well I don't wanna give you any ideas.
All right.
Bowler, stovepipe, Newsy cap.
Wow.
Okay.
Okay, I get a point.
Okay, now I think-
Joker.
Does it- because I got it.
Do I go to the register or does Uncle Fester?
I'm a cove it tester.
I think Lauren has to.
I want to do one. Go to me.
OK. OK.
Get it together.
Hopper. Joker.
Name three types of headache medication.
Aleve, Advil, Tylenol.
You do. Nice.
OK, Paul.
Name three things you would find in a tool shed.
Hammer, bench, ranch.
Ranch.
Ranch dressing.
To lubricate your car.
Lauren, name three models of car.
Models?
Five seconds. Volvo, Subaru, Volkswagen. I'm gonna go with the Okay, one more. Is Jenna a model? Yes.
Escort. There you go.
Maybe not five seconds,
but we're being nice to each other.
Sure.
All right, now you to me.
No, you to me.
No, you to me?
Name three carnival rides.
Ferris wheel,
the roller coaster,
and the swing thing.
That didn't feel good.
There we go around.
What is that swing thing called?
Just the swings?
I mean, I know the Knott's Berry Farm one is the dragon swing,
so I wanted to see that, but yeah.
But I felt weird being that specific about it.
I love that ride, the swings.
I hate them.
When it just swings in the air going around.
No, the material is so nervous right now. I really liked it a swings like in this the air
I really liked it a lot. Well, why don't you go on there was a place called West Point Park?
I can't remember how far it was from where I lived But it was like a you know between half a mile and 300 miles something like that
Hmm, and it was like a crappy Indy amusement park, you know, but they had
Yeah
the Indy amusement park, you know, but they had, yeah.
What'd you say? Indiana Jones theme.
Yeah, you read it.
But they had, there was like a big sort of like pond,
like a huge pond that was,
you would go over it on the swings routes.
Oh wow, that's funny.
It was very exciting.
Hmm, that seems scary.
That's what made it exciting.
Yeah.
Danger is exciting.
Danger is exciting. I remember going in the zipper when I was a kid.
Going to what?
The zipper.
What is the zipper again?
It's like you're in a cage and they like flip around.
Like the cage is like flip around.
I thought they were called the salt.
We call them the salt and pepper shakers.
Yeah.
But I famously at West Point Park went on that
with my older brother and I was too small to get on the ride, but they let me on anyway.
And so I wasn't really secured in it.
Oh no.
And so it was just like throwing me back and forth.
It was horrible.
Yeah.
I remember being really scared because you'd fall like face first into the cage
part, like your seatbelt it in, but like you have your hands on it like every time
it goes forward, it's like, it could just pop open.
I remember a magic mountain. I went on something where it's like, it could just pop open. I remember a Magic Mountain that went on something
where it was like, it spins you around in a circle
and the centrifugal force is such that they then
lower the floor and you're just stuck to the floor.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And the thing was, they would always tell you like,
oh yeah, if you puke on this, by the way,
it'll just come back right in your face.
Well, I was gonna say, I think you always see those things
of puke just like flying to the side and then flying back or something in that.
Yeah.
I was on one of those as an adult and I tried to take a picture as it was starting.
And I got yelled at by the ride operator.
Really?
Why?
Because your picture, your camera could break.
You're supposed to just be standing perfectly still.
Yeah.
You're not supposed to have like items out because it could hurt somebody.
Because it could fly.
Yeah.
But it like got over a loudspeaker and I was ashamed.
Mortified. I once I remember being on that pirate ride, the ship
where it just like flies and then they get caught on fire.
So we were like caught on fire.
Like there was like a fire and then we were like, so like,
and me, I fired upon it.
Probably. Yeah. Cannon or something.
And we were stuck like halfway floating and we all had to like come off of it like carefully,
but it was like so crazy.
Jesus.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Ready to name.
All right.
Paul name three synonyms for sad. Uh, blue, but down in the dumps, uh, in my fields.
Lauren.
Yes.
Name three non comedy podcasts.
The dollop.
Kind of.
I don't know what that is.
This American life. This American Life.
This American Life.
The Daily.
I don't think there are any.
The New York Times.
Do they have one?
The New York Times.
You got it.
Spring-seeded Obamas.
That's not naming anything. See, it's not as easy as you think,
as you were scolding me.
I didn't scold you.
No one scolded you.
Well, with your eyes, you did.
We did eye scold you, both of us, yes.
I was just trying to like...
God, what's a podcast? I know.
Serial you're wrong about.
Um, okay.
Well, you made up the category.
So obviously you're going to know.
I don't know.
Neither of us gets a point.
No.
All right.
You can.
I can do.
Yeah.
Name three.
Name three.
Numbers that are not three.
Three. Name three places you find a fire that would make sense.
That you would find a fire is that what you said? Yeah.
The stove, a beach, a building that's on fire.
Make sense.
Make sense?
Point.
I feel like it fits.
It fits.
You must acquit.
Paul, name three celebrity trials.
Oh, OJ Simpson, Fatty Arbuckle, Gwyneth Paltrow.
Yes.
What happened with Fatty Arbuckle?
Oh.
Look it up, you didn't hear.
I knew you were a fan.
Lauren, name three nicknames for Edward.
Ed, Ted, Tedward.
I mean, it's technically, if you call it that.
Sure.
Would have accepted Eddie.
Okay, good to know for next time.
Name three desktop apps on your computer.
On my computer?
Oh, he can't do this.
Pages, Safari, iTunes.
Wow.
Fucking did it.
He's obsessed with Pages though.
He's obsessed with Pages.
We gave him Pages,
because we were already talking about that.
That's why you wanted Paige Davis on the show.
Yeah, I love her.
And Stephen Page.
Yes.
From Bare Naked Ladies.
And Jimmy Page from Led Zeppelin.
The three of them collaborating.
Three pages?
With Hitler.
They could.
You know, why with Hitler?
Because collaborators.
How did he get in there?
Oh, I see.
Yeah.
I see.
All right.
Name three people that were born before 1900.
Charles Dickens, Jesus the Christ, Abraham Lincoln.
You got them. All three of them.
Thank you. You named the three.
Lauren named three people born after 1900.
Michael Jackson,
OJ Simpson, Must have quit.
Cato Cailin.
Okay.
I just had one in one way.
Oh yeah.
Name three branches of Real Housewives.
New York, Orange County, Beverly Hills.
Harry.
Nice.
Name three more.
Potomac. Harry. Nice. Name three more. Uh Potomac, uh Atlanta, and uh New Jersey. Yeah. Oh. Name
one more. DC. That was brief. Salt Lake City. We have that. There's two, that, this is too many.
Name one more. No, I mean now we're just saying Chicago. No, Miami.
That's the last one.
Miami, Scott.
It's the last one.
So just name the last one.
Say it.
Miami!
You did it.
Okay.
Would you like to go with me to Miami?
That was Eugene.
Oh, name three famous Eugene's.
Oh, Eugene V. Debs. I'm going to say Eugene Cordero.
I think it counts.
And I'm going to say Eugene Oregon.
Yeah, that's famous. Yeah.
All right. We have two more.
Paul, you get to do one and Lauren, you do one.
I'm ready. Jesus.
Name three types of cough drop.
The three brands. Ludens. Three brands.
Ludens, Hulls, and Ricola.
There you go.
All right, last one to me.
Name three tissue brands.
Kleenex.
Ah.
Ah.
All right, Paul, chance to steal.
We are tied.
Scott. Mm are tied. Uh, Scott.
Kind of embarrassing you can get that one. Yeah.
Shame on me.
Puffs.
Yeah.
It's toilet tissue, but Charmin.
You just said tissue.
Okay. I think we all knew what I meant, but you can Charmin. You just said tissue. Okay. I think we all knew what I meant but you can
have it. You can have it. And Paul you're the winner. I won the game with seven points.
I feel great. I'm on top of the world. Again. What did I get? Four. If you would like to
send us a three-chart, 3dmusa.gmail.com. And if you would like to call us, leave a voicemail,
give us a little prompt for a conversation,
you call us at the website, the famous calling website,
Hag Claims 8.
And if you want to hear-
.com.
.com, sorry.
Sorry.uk, we have not yet figured it out.
And if you would like to hear ad free versions of the show,
sign up at cbbworld.com
and thank you to Lemonada for hosting us.
And also Apple Podcasts premiums, where you get those.
Oh, okay.
I'm not aware that that's a thing.
We keep talking about it.
It's just what I've been told, it's like,
or it's Lemonada's Apple.
I don't know what it is.
Lemonada's Apple. They've never given what it is. Lemonada's Apple.
They've never given us.
Jinnisterquad.
What it is, but you can hear those somewhere.
Oh, no, not ad-free episodes.
The Thremium is what I'm talking about.
Oh, okay.
Then it's not what I was talking about, so.
Paul, I apologize, and I'm mad enough to admit it
when I was wrong. You apologize?
I apologize.
Oh, I like it.
But the 3Mium stuff is at CBB World and whatever the Lemonada Apple podcast is.
Yeah, 3Mium is where we discuss your voicemails.
Yes. And we release the old episodes every Tuesday that we call that three visiting on the twos.
Which is fun.
It's so fun. And I want to thank my beloved co-hosts.
What? What's happening?
For doing another episode. This is my final one.
Oh my god. Scott steps down from freedom.
Okay, can we still use your house?
Yeah, you can just move in.
Oh, that seems like more work than I want.
And did you hire someone to replace yourself?
Yeah, it's cover your own shift, right?
Yeah.
Yeah. So I've hired you to replace me.
Okay. And then you have to replace yourself. right? Yeah. Yeah. So I've hired you to replace me. Okay.
And then you have to replace yourself.
God damn it.
Should I do your part?
Yeah, why don't you replace me
and now you have to find someone to cover your shift.
Okay.
Maybe I could replace you?
Is one of your dogs available?
Woof woof.
Okay, that works.
All right, we'll see you next time.
Bye.
Okay, that works. All right.
We'll see you next time.
Bye.
Bye.
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