Threedom - I'll Pick Up a Buffalo Nickel

Episode Date: May 2, 2024

Scott, Lauren, and Paul discuss locking doors, dimes, and family trips before playing One Three Five and The Picnic Game. Follow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com. Subscribe at cbbworld.com to gain access to every episode of Threedom ad-free as well as brand new Threemium episodes every other week! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Tired of not being able to get a hold of anyone when you have questions about your credit card? With 24-7 US-based live customer service from Discover, everyone has the option to talk to a real person. Limitations apply. See terms at discover.com slash credit card. Hey everyone, it's David Duchovny. Do you ever feel like a failure? Trust me, I get it. Hell, I've spent my whole life almost feeling like a failure. It's appropriate though, because on Fail Better, my new podcast with Lemonado Media, exploring the world of failure, how it holds us back, propels us forward, and ultimately shapes our lives is the whole point. Each week I'll chat with artists, athletes, actors, and experts about how our perceived failures have actually been

our biggest catalysts for growth, revelation, and even healing. Through these conversations, I hope we can learn how to embrace the opportunity of failure and Fail Better together. Fail Better is out on May 7th, wherever you get your podcasts. Freedom! Freedom! Freedom! Kaboosh! Spash!

Apoosh! Apoosh! Apoosh in a bush. A A push in a bush. A push in a bush. A push my bush in a bush for life. For life. For life. The roots. It's a long time. Yeah, that's too long. Well, that's what you're committing to with marriage here. Could marriages just be 20 years and then we like reassess without having all the financial considerations of a divorce?

It's just like, I want to marry you for 20 years. This was a plot in something that I read. Was it The Simpsons or Seinfeld? Where the people, there were a married couple who every year on their anniversary would decide if they were going to stay together or not. But I think I think legally, legally the problem is then suddenly like a divorce proceeding happens where you have to split everything equally. It's like, could we just like, you

just want it to be like, what's mine is mine. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not countering what you're saying. How many years have you been married? It will be 14 years this year, this April. Oh, wow. What about you? 16. Wow. What about you? It'll be, it'll be six years.

Single digi's. I can't believe it's been six. That's crazy. It's gonna be October, yeah. Yeah, mine's September. Yeah, definitely September. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it'll be October. Yeah, that's October.

Mine's April. 100% October. April. April. Yeah. By the way, welcome to 3Dim, I'm Scott. By the way, I'm Paul. By the way, I'm Lauren. I wasn't even gonna say anything, but I figured I should.

Yeah, we should probably tell everyone who we are. We should probably tell everyone who we are. I am a D.B. me. Have we ever not identified ourselves on the podcast? Yes. Wow. Almost every episode. No, I think we always do.

I'm trying to remind myself to do it. I think we always do. I'm trying to remind myself to do. I think we always. Trying to eat my lunch. What is it, that's what I don't know. The whole time, the whole time, the whole time. It was Richard Dreyfuss, and I don't know if he ever said that. I'm trying to eat my lunch.

I'm Mr. Holland. Mr. Holland. Opus. Opus. You turkey. We've talked about how, and I think Sean had the same thing I had, which is when we both saw that movie, we thought that the child went deaf from the-

The opus? How loud. From his opus. From the fire truck. He caused it, it was so bad. Yeah. Yeah, we talked about this. We've talked a lot about Mr. Holland's opus.

Well, you know, it's an opus. It's like there's so much to get into. It's not like it's a magnum opus. It took him, by the way, 30 years to write that five minute shitty song. Yeah. Not to go back over Mr. Holland's opus again, because that's not what the movie. I think I want to watch that again. Enjoy yourself.

Five times. OK. I'm gonna watch that again. Enjoy yourself. Five times. Okay. I had, I was thinking about this this morning because, you know, I've, I don't know if you guys know this, but I recently had a daughter. What? Why don't you tell us anything? I'm sorry. I totally slipped my mind.

She is, as of this, as, as people are listening, I don't want to say, but she's, she's over one. So while you spend a whole year not telling us that you had a child, she's over one and under two. Yeah. Um, but she, she wants to take everything apart. So once she found out that some of her toys naturally unscrew and come apart, now everything is like open, open, open. Absolutely. And and she's constantly looking at everything, trying to figure out how everything works. You know, and I feel like I was not like that as a kid.

I feel like I was because like that as a kid. I feel like I was, cause I remember my brother would constantly do stuff like he would take off the plates on the electric plugs and show me everything inside. And I was always like, look at the guts. I was always like, those come off. And I remember I was 13 once and he was changed.

So was I. Yeah. Yeah. Different years probably. For like a year I did it. I did it for like a year too. It was actually pretty, actually exactly one. I think it was 365 days for me. But is it considered 364? Cause it's like, there's one last day that you're 12 and then

you're 13. That's a good point. And closed on Sundays. Yeah. Right. I didn't.. Hmm, that's a good point. And closed on Sundays. Yeah. Right. I didn't. I took two weeks off for a vacation. But he was chasing me around as he was wont to do when he was supposed to be babysitting me and trying to murder me.

With a switch plate? With a knife several times. I had a child I babysat. He chased me with a knife once. Wait, the child chased you with a knife? Yes. Was he a little boy with red hair wearing overalls? Could have been. He loved to fart on me too.

That's Chucky. I gotta check back on him. That sounds like Chucky. I gotta remember his name. That's totally Chucky. Classic Chucky. Charles. Yeah, his name was.

Charles! Chucky Cheese. What if Chucky went through like a sort of finishing school? He came out as Charles. Hello, I'm Charles. And when he farts he's like, excuse me. I'm going to stab you, you dumb bitch. He's a bitch, right? Well, Freddie did. I don't know if he did.

I don't think I've ever seen Chuckie. Scott hasn't seen. I'm not available. To watch Chucky. I think I've seen the first one. I've seen the first one. Yeah. It's a mere child's play. But I remember my brother trying to like me when we- Trying to like you?

We're all trying to like you. I relate. Come on. We're just kidding. When we were able to get locks on our doors, I remember like- Oh, you all trying that. Hey. I relate. Come on. We're just kidding. When we were able to get locks on our doors, I remember like him.

Oh, you got a lock? Him chasing me and me going into my room and then me locking the door. And then him taking a screwdriver and undoing the door knob. Dang. And I was like, those come off. I had no, like, I had no.

Your response to everything. You had no interest in like. Interest in how anything worked or. He took off his shoes, those come off. I had no interest in how anything worked. He took off his shoes. Those come off. Yeah. I just wore the same ones since I was two. Or my dad, when he would like fix things in the drywall, I'd be like, oh, there's like stuff in the walls and wires and shit.

What's up with your brain? What do you think it is? I think I do not care about how things work. You were full of very brief wonder. Yeah. Where you've learned a thing about it and then you didn't care. Yeah. I truly, I think that was my father who was always a person who, if there was something wrong in the house, he would fix it. He would like look up how to fix it because he didn't want to pay for it. Yeah.

Well, I wish I spoke about him on her podcast and said a lot of really cool things about him that he built their whole house with. Yeah. He did, he- He built their whole house. Rearranging the whole floor plan himself. Like things that are, that's very challenging. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

None of your own stuff. Yeah, so he would do all that stuff and he learned how to do like electric stuff, uh, cars, guitars. That was all he worked on. But, uh, so he was always frustrated that I had no interest in any of this. And I was always just like, well, it works or it doesn't. And a repair person comes and either comes apart or it doesn't. I don't care. Yeah. Well, like I'm actually really surprised that your parents let you guys put locks on your doors. Yeah.

I think that would have been a dream. It feels like, yeah, I definitely didn't have a lock. My door sometimes wouldn't even close because it would like swell. Oh, sure. So like I was just like shove it. And I'm like, that's as good as we're getting here. Yeah.

Interesting. But you were allowed to add a lock. My brother's door had a lock just because that door happened to work and had a lock. It was like. Right, like a lock in the knob, like one of those locks. No, it was like an old timey, regular old. had a lock. It was like... Right, like a lock in the knob? Like one of those locks? No, it was like an old timey, regular old...

With a key. A deadbolt? In theory, there was no key. I mean, I don't know. The fuck are you talking about? It was like a fucking, yeah, like not a deadbolt, but it was like, you know, what goes under, there's a door knob and there's a little like click

and you can like do a little lock. Okay. Okay, so there's probably a keyhole, but I don't know. That does sound like a deadbolt though sounds like a deadbolt Is that considered a deadbolt? Yes, not an alive bolt Excuse me, let me Google types of locks Don't spell it LOCH. Oh, you'll find out about three times types of locks messy

No block, maybe a no, we're almost through season two Knoblocks. Nessie. I love him when he shows up. Knoblock. Maybe a Knoblock. We're almost through season two. Oh boy. I know you said- Which is a much better season than season one. Oh good. Knoblocks, deadbolt locks, cam locks, padlocks, mortise locks, smart locks, and keypad locks.

God, imagine having to know the difference between all those. I guess I would call it a deadbolt lock, and I guess you're right. Good guess. So congrats. I'm happy for you. There are some families who they just never, like Coolop comes from a family that never shuts doors,

which would drive me crazy. Like she, like when her mother will stay with us for months at a time sometimes and she'll like, I'll be taking a shower. I'll get out of the shower. The bedroom door is just wide open and I'll have to naked go over there and try to shut me. Imagine this dripping wet glistening,

blinding your dogs. Imagine me with a really good body, please. Beads of water sliding down to my nether regions. My nipples are in the cool air. Cool up just was raised in a family that never shut doors. She would just walk out of the door and just leave it open, no one here in the shower. Or if I'm sleeping, when we would go to visit her parents in Minnesota, I'd be sleeping, she would wake up, go outside of the room and just leave the door open.

Which would of course wake me up. Absolutely not. No, you can't do that. No, you can't do that. Never really shuts doors or anything. It's just not really top of mind for her. Yeah, privacy issues. She just grew up in a house where everyone,

I think was always in each other's business. I think that's just like a different kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah, it is. Because that's not good. But you had so many siblings. We had so many people, we were always in each other's business, but not in a great way. But we all, we valued privacy, you'd go into your room, which would be your sanctum. And you each of you had your own? Eventually, but we shared rooms for a long time because there were so goddamn many of us. Yeah.

And yeah, I remember getting my own room and it was a huge deal after my sisters had moved out and everything. And then eventually my brother moved out, my older brother moved out, so it was just me and my little brother. And we had lots of room to roam. And it was great. Did you feel like it was really different then? I do feel it was really different.

Like they all moved out and you're like, now it's just us. Yeah. I mean, that was, I was in charge. Charles. Like, Charles or Chucky. Yeah. I was in charge like Charles. Like Charles or Chuckie. Yeah, Chuckie in charge. Chuckie in charge. Oh, this is a good Funny or Die video. Oh, my God. Let's call them. Perfect.

Let me call up Gary Sanchez productions. But but Lauren, your door is never even closed. Well, my door was closed. It was more of a like, it wasn't always able to be fully closed in the winter. It would fully close in the summer. It would not. In the summer would expand. Yeah. And sometimes my door just wouldn't, wouldn't close, but I could still close it and you honor that level. You have to honor it. Yeah. When you see the closed, the closed door. But yeah, I mean, I feel like it's interesting

like thinking of kids having a lock. So all the doors in my house have locks. So it's like, I guess once Holly figures out what that is, she could lock the door. Yeah. But like, that's weird. I don't know, but I think it was like a teenager thing. Like once we were teenagers.

Teenagers definitely want to lock the door. Cause your parents don't want to walk in on you, you know. Well also, yeah. Listen to me. I mean it's worse, it's worse for them, right? It's bad for everyone involved. It's bad for everyone involved. Yeah. You gotta knock. You gotta knock. You gotta knock. I think it was also like, you gotta knock. I think it was also my brother not wanting me to go in his room and vice versa. It was more of against each other. Oh yeah. Well yeah, I'm sure my brother was trying to keep me out. But I would go in his room when he wasn't home and clean his room, AKA keep every dollar and coin I found.

And anything else I found. You're a little scavenger. Yeah. And that was my payment. Quota portion. Yeah. I considered it my payment for cleaning the room. And how well would you clean it?

Well, I liked cleaning. I still like cleaning. I liked like picking- Do you want to clean up around here? You know, I'm off duty. Unless you have coins hidden somewhere in here. I probably do. She still works for coins.

Man, coins, you couldn't even get me to pick one up these days. Wow. That must be nice for you. No, like pennies and stuff. Remember how thrilling it was to pick up a penny? And don't think I would stop for a penny. A dime. I would stop. Dimes are a symbol of your loved one from the other side in my family.

What? So when I went to a funeral for one of my relatives many years ago and this old woman who I don't know what her relationship was to me or. Did she just. A wart on her nose. Stroke your face and say thinner. Yeah, and I was like, bye.

Dimes. She was like, look for dimes. She was like, look for dimes. If you see a dime, that's him saying hello. Like look for dimes. And then you would, then you would see dimes. And it's actually very interesting because it's like, I understand there's somebody out there is like,

it's because this is whatever. Yeah, cause I'm looking for them and whatever. For them. Well, but I'm saying, no, no, I'm saying other people would say, well, the logic behind it is actually that you see all types of coins, but you don't really notice the dimes. I like it.

I'm just being them. OK. But I feel like there would be many times where it was just a dime, where it's like, why isn't it a nickel or quarter or a penny? And then it felt like it was like it is a dime. It is a sign. OK. It does make me think of the person. Yes. Well, that's nice. That's what I'm saying is there are other people. There is a logical reason behind it.

But for you, it was just a nice like, hey, this doesn't actually make sense. But it is making me think of the person and it's a nice thing. Yeah. And do you think if it's a message from beyond, do you think the person, the departed person is saying, give me 10 cents? Yeah, I do think. Please. I needed to get it to have it. Put this on my grave. I do think that. Yeah. Yeah. I'll pick up anything from a nickel above. Yeah, I think I would.

You'll pick up nickels? I would pick up a nickel. I'll pick up a nickel. If I saw a 50 cent piece, you're telling me I'm not gonna bend over for that? Oh man. 50 cent piece, that would be beautiful. Oh, I'd and unusual.

A Kennedy Hoff dollar? Sure. Absolutely. I'll pick up a sack of Jowia. I'll pick up a Susan B. Anthony. I'll pick up like a penny if it's a rare penny. I'll pick up a sack of Jowia. I'll pick up a sack of joeia. I'll pick up a Susan B. Anthony. I'll pick up like a penny if it's a rare penny. I'll pick up a sack of joeia. I'll pick up a sack of joeia. I'll pick up a sack of joeia. I'll pick up a sack of joeia. A buffalo nickel?

I'll pick up a buffalo nickel. Why not? Buffalo nickel. I found it on the street quarter. I paid for a pickle. Now rhyme with street quarter. And now I never did Dorner. I didn't think she could do it, but you did it.

He did it. That was solid. He didn't say it had to make sense. But you don't see money lying around these days anymore. Remember, like I found $20 in the middle of the street once. It was when I was like 13. It was thrilling. That's very exciting.

It was so much money at the time. But now you don't see money. If I found $20 right now, I'd be like, fuck yeah. Hell yeah. But you don't, because everything switched to ATM cards and credit cards. You you don't see money. If I found $20 right now, I'd be like, fuck yeah. Hell yeah. But you don't because everything switched to ATM cards and credit cards. You just don't see it. And paying online, dear.

Yeah. Yeah. And Apple Pay. Dear. Man, if you found some Apple Pay in the street, I'd click on it. That's crack hot. I'd click on it.

I'd double click on that. OK, wait. Are you familiar with the- OK. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Stop fucking around. Enough clown time. Are you familiar with the new Apple headset things, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, so it's like a VR headset, although I guess Mike said it's AR or something, I don't know. And then it has a, I don't know, it's called something else. And it had a

cord on the back, like you're plugged in. Yeah, like Avatar. And then you can see your eyes. Yeah. And then so the idea is that you're like with your family, but you're like also like, I'm on Zara.com. Yeah, yeah. It's like, it's- What.com? Zara. Oh, the shop. Yeah. It's like the Google Glass. Google Glass.

It's like Google Glass. Google Glasses. It's like the Google Glass. But you know how you're supposed to have conversations with people and all that while you can still see icons. But that's like so fucked up. Why is that better? It's not.

It will never be popular. I only ever saw Google Glass glasses in person one time. And it was I was driving down Beverly Boulevard and I got in front of a guy who I thought was driving a little too slowly. And then, of course, ended up at a stoplight. And I'm the classic guy like you're in a hurry to get the last stoplight. Yeah. But it's like, really, I just didn't want to be behind that dude anymore. Right. And then he pulled up next to me.

And it was like motioning for me to roll down my window. What I rolled up my window anyway You had to get here in such a hurry. I said are you wearing Google glasses? And then I rolled my window up and the light turned green Are you wearing Google glasses? Fuck you Would you ever say something like that to a person you to him it's Could work with like anything though, like if you're just like And then just drive away and they're like are you wearing a t-shirt? Oh, thanks for wearing your best t-shirt on your car trip

That's savage even I wouldn't do that. All right, we have to take a break. So Mother's Day gifts. Let's talk about them. They're so, it's, when you've been on this earth as long as we have, it's so predictable, it's so boring. Here, mom, here's a new car. Here's a second house for you. You know, it's just like, come on guys, this is boring, right? Well, that is why an Aura frame is the perfect gift

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and those will be exclusive to your Aura frame. This is an Aura frame exclusive. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. My mom talks about hers all the time. We send her pictures of our kid and my sister. She talks about how she gets home and she just turns it on and just sits there watching it and it like relaxes her after a hard day at work.

Not only is she gonna be grateful it's not another sweater, but she'll also love that an Aura frame means she gets to see more of the people that she loves. And right now Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day. Listeners can save on the perfect gift by visiting auraframes.com to get $30 off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame.

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get a free one-year supply of vitamin D3K2 and five free AG1 travel packs with your first purchase at www.drinkag1.com slash freedom. That's drink, D R N K, ag1.com slash freedom. Check it out. And we're back. And listen, I want to thank all of you for wearing your best t shirt for your car trips. Yeah, thank you. It is nice that you all dressed up to listen to this podcast. Seriously, next episode. I know you can wear whatever you want right now, but next episode,

put on a tuxedo. Why don't we make the ideas? Let's do a formal episode. Next episode, we're doing a formal episode. We will wear our fancy English... I'm gonna wear a gown. Our fancy English breakfast tee. Evening clothes.

We won't wear... It doesn't have to be white tails. You're gonna wear what? A gown. A gown. You'll wear a gown. Gloves? Gloves. I'm gonna wear it. Doesn't have to be white tails. A gown. You'll wear a gown. Gloves. I'm going to wear gloves. I'm going to wear a hat and a veil. I'm going to wear a big purse and I'm going to put my dog in it. Great. Great. I'm going to wear spats. Nothing else. Imagine me with a good body. Don't leave the door open.

And you? I'm going to wear, I guess I'm going to wear like a sort of tuxedo onesie. You know what I mean? It looks like a tuxedo. One of those. What are they called? It's kind of like a t-shirt that's kind of looks like a tux. It's like kind of funny.

Yeah. But this is like a whole thing. Was that the eighties? I feel, I remember it as the eighties. Yeah. The tuxedo t-shirt? Yeah. It might be earlier than that, but I remember it from the eighties.

It's like late seventies. Yeah, but yeah, yeah, it felt like the height of humor. Yeah, I felt like Dr. Domeno probably wore one without a dude. Ignoring all, ignoring all like history and like the bad parts of considerate life. Let's erase all what's like the best. What's the decade with the best vibes? Just vibes? We're judging it just on vibes?

Yeah, it's like don't think about how there were really bad things happening and like people were treated horribly. I guess the 70s. When did the Civil War happen? The 70s? Because you had disco. I feel like 70s. I lived through it.

Key parties. I just love how it looks. Oh, key parties. I think the 60s because, well, the early 60s. Yeah. I lived through it. I didn't think. Key parties. I just love how it looks. Oh, key parties. I think the 60s because, well, the early 60s probably sucked. But are you including bad things that happened in history?

You're right. I'm sorry. You have to discount those. How about the 1920s? You're fucking getting drunk on bootleg gin. Yeah. Everybody's going to parties. Everybody's having parties all the time.

As long as you're rich. Yeah, nah I guess that would be, but we're ignoring, we're ignoring all that thing. Yes. Everybody's rich. Everyone's rich. Great vibes. Yeah. I guess there's great vibes for everyone who's rich always. How about the colonial era? Did you ever go to like see one of those colonial town, like you like one of those experiences? I didn't. and I don't know why, because I feel like growing up in Philly, we would have, I mean, we did have a Ben Franklin guy.

Yeah. What does that mean? There was a guy who- You know a Ben Franklin guy? Some nut who walked on your street and be like, I'm Ben Franklin. Wait, so I have told you about this guy. I'm Ben Franklin.

Didn't look like him. He's wearing a bullying dragon, some ready old kite. Yeah, there was a guy. I can't remember if he was sort of officially hired by the tourism board. Like the city, because I feel like I've been to Philadelphia. There's like those tours that go around to show you all the like historical landmarks where I did see someone who was dressed up like old. Could be like, you know, the person playing Superman over at man's

Chinese, where it's like, they're not actually hired by the city. They're just doing it on their own. I think this guy was he would walk around in full Ben Franklin regalia. He looked like Ben Franklin. It was good. It was like, yeah, it was not like cheap looking. The bifocals. He had the bifocals, of course. Did they work as bifocals? They did. Oh, I don't know. Could he see out of them?

I wanted to slap them off his fucking face. But I didn't do it. You're so nice. You're so nice. A lot of people think I'm nice because I won't slap glasses off their fucking faces. Well, I'm trying to think if it was in Philly, where was I? That I went maybe it was DC.

Do they have stuff like that? I went to like some old, of course, I don't know how I said it. I went to some like old like course, I said I went to something like old like, house that I can't remember. It was probably like the best house. There was the best Ross house in Philadelphia. Okay, but I think it was in DC. I don't remember. Of course, there's Monticello. I don't remember what his character was. historical character. But I walked through an old house. And but there wasn't anyone acting like it was that time.

And I think what I'm gonna need is someone acting like that. I think, I do think it'd be very funny to go on like a family trip with my children to a place like that and make them do that shit. Like I think that's really fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We went in London, Jane and I went, and I may have mentioned this in the podcast

when it happened, but we were there for the London Podcast Festival in 2018 maybe. And- Before everything went to shit? Just before. Well, things had started. Right.

2018? And there were bad things. Everything was good. Vibes were not good. Vibes were not good. But discounting everything bad happening in the world? Great, yeah. Yeah, it's true.

If you don't think about anything bad happening, everything was good. And it was also, you know, one of those things where it was bad, but it was going to get worse. So it was technically good. Like honestly, 2020, if you discount all the bad things happening, it was good. It was so good. Yeah. What's the main- I mean, we were in our houses. It was fun.

Discount all of COVID except for Trump getting it. I want to hear what you were going to say, but I also want to ask this one question. Yeah. When you think of the like first year of the pandemic, what's like the first thing you think of in your life? Weekly Zooms with people. Yeah, I think of roasting random vegetables that I would get in the mail.

What did you say to them? Fucking bitch. I roasted. Did you say roasting random vegetables you'd get in the mail? I was doing a subscription, it was a delivery service of the ugly, or some whatever. Like I was like doing a subscription. Like it was like a delivery service of like, here's some like some whatever. Yeah.

But it was like, it was all like ugly, random vegetables. Exactly. And I was roasting them constantly. All vegetables are beautiful. I'm forgetting what that company is called now. Me too. Cause it was something like that. I think ugly was in the.

I know. I don't know if that's even the one I got. But anyway, I remember being disappointed because we got we got that too. And it was like, these could look weirder, honestly. Yeah. Yeah. But I never roasted vegetables before, but I got very into that as like my main meal. And I thought it was exciting. Tell us about this London podcast. I got drinking a bottle of wine every day. There you go.

Cocktail hour would start at 2 p.m. Yeah. This house was this. Not a home. It was not a home. Luther Vandross was there and we were going to ask him. Oh, he sang about it. We opened our mouth to ask and he just shook his head.

And I was like, OK, message received. It was this this really old building. It's like a three story home. And the people that owned it had made each room like a different time period that this house had existed. It's like a museum. Yeah. And it was shitty.

The same. Yeah. People disco disco balls. Little signs of where occasionally would have like a sound effect or something like You laser you just heard someone walking into the other room, and this is the kind of shoes they would wear or whatever But they had people that were there to sort of Cuban heels wedge heel They had people that were there to direct you to the various rooms and everything. And they were very solemn and serious, but they weren't wearing like period clothing, which is like, do that at least. You have to, and then change it for each room you go into.

So they're constantly doing cost-effects. Well, they had a bunch of different people. Yes, exactly. And then I think, of course, of course, somebody always asked, do the people do people live here still? And we were and they said, yes, the the people do live here. But they, you know, they make they come to us at night. It was like, they clearly live in some other part of the house that's that we can't see. But the house is not that big. But then it's also like, well, maybe don't say they do. Yeah. Well, you think they were lying. I just didn't see how, I didn't see where.

Or they lived in the themed rooms. There's no way. There's absolutely no way. There's probably like a nice suite. What year was this? Oh, a nice suite. Yeah, what year was this by the way? 2018 you said?

Fucking 2018 I said. Wait, was this recent? Yeah. And if you think that's recent, let me throw another year at you, 2019. Whoa, that's even more sooner. It's even more sooner. No, but I was picturing this big of thing

in your town when you were a kid. Whoa, it's even more sooner. 2020. Huh, that was like yesterday. Whoa. We went on, I talked about this vacation on this show, but we went, the first like big vacation we went on. The National Ampoon one.

National Ampoon one. You went on like a Christmas vacation? Oh yeah, European vacation, where my boss wouldn't give me the bonus I wanted. But we went to back East for the first time and I went on my first plane and I saw my favorite year on the plane over there. I've talked about this and we went to New York first and stayed in the Howard Johnson Hotel and saw Merlin instead of Katz. Merlin the musical. Oh, Doug Henning. Doug Henning and Christian Slater. That one had such long term effects.

You know, it was like cats ran for 25, 30, 50 years. This one also we talk about constantly. Right. But so that was the first three days was New York, right? And we did a bunch of New York stuff. Was it all like crazy there? Because it was like, it was it wasn't it's still really gritty. Well, we had talked about this about how like we had he was in this gritty gritty

Yeah, well cuz times first thing It was like everything was like gritty we have talked about how my there was a super gritty There was a section of that we had to go on a subway to get somewhere and my parents were freaked out about it Oh sure. Yeah But um, but then the other part of the vacation, it was like we were doing this for 10 days. But I learned this recently was that, you know, we were going to be going to Disney World. And at a certain point, my parents were like, look,

it takes so long to get to Florida and to get back. And we live next to Disneyland. Can we not do that? And we all agreed. OK, I was so bummed. But it's not the same as going to Disney world, but yeah. But, but instead golf center, my father's golf ball. Instead, my father scheduled all these like trips to civil war, like that's not going to work for me. And it was days of this. And then this is what I learned is in his, he recently passed away and in the like sort

of bio that that we went to the Hershey factory, he cut it even shorter. It was going to be longer, but he cut it shorter because we were complaining so much. You only worked one shift? You guys were so mad about how many times he had to shove in your mouth? No, but he cut the Civil War battlefield stuff shorter. Wow. He called an audible because we were,

and it felt like an eternity of days and days of this. Yeah. Oh, so you got to go to her, she has a treat, because you were like, okay, shut the fuck up, we can go here now because you're being so annoying. Yeah. And then you were like, this is fun. You liked Hershey. I thought I was disappointed that they didn't give you candy like they don't give you candy. No, you they deposit you in the gift shop and then you buy at regular prices candy. That's fucked up. Okay, I don't think that I think we talked

about. I do. And I agree. Well, I'm glad I for me. I think we've talked about this. That's fucked up. And you have had the exact same reaction. And I agree with you. Well, I'm glad I'm consistent. I think you should be walking through pocketing chocolates the whole way. Yes. Pop chocolate. It should be free. Yes. Everything should be free.

Well, you've always said that since the last episode. You should get to get in a vat of chocolate, of milk chocolate. I know. Eat your way out. Yes. Drink. Eat or drink. Eat and drink. Do both. and do this in memory of me

What if you only ate chocolate and drank chocolate every meal of your life, but you never got fat Be okay with that What a good what if does your did was you get tired of it that story Yeah, you'd have to get tired of it. So you didn't really hear that story a lot? You just read it? No, I just always remember that that was part of the trip is we went and I had thought it had been planned that we were going to the chocolate factory this whole time. And I remember there being way too many Civil War battlefields, but I never knew that they

were cut even short, that we were supposed to be doing them even longer than what we did. Do you feel like your dad, like, complained about that a lot to your mom, and like, that was why that was a story? The fact that it's come up 40 years later in Addy's funeral, then yes, he must've... He never let it go. He must've been so mad.

He was so annoying. But this is also... God damn it. But you gotta understand too, like, we grew up, we were just common people. I was the defendants of farmers. You had sharkies instead of jets or whatever. Yes, and this was the only vacation

that they were ever gonna get to take, you know? And the only time he was ever gonna get to see any of this stuff. Wow. Should have made it his honeymoon. Honestly, should have told you all to shut up. I would have. I would have said,, I would have said, yes, sir. Yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah.

But yeah, it's that sucks. It's I mean, to be to be everyone to be 13 and having to go see all that stuff. Oh, no, no, no. I would be the most complaining person on earth. I mean, I definitely complained on trips so much like it sounds so bright because like we went to Italy when I was in high school, and I remember like pouting. Like, who even knows?

But there's like a picture of me and my brother sitting on a stoop, and we both looked so pissed. To be in Italy. Like, I don't know, I think I loved the trip, but I was like, I'm sure I was tired, and I was like, we're walking so much. I wanna eat gummy worms. Yeah.

I mean, like, who knows? Your brain's not formed. Trips are just lost on kids. It's not true unless you go to a kid place. It wasn't totally lost. I mean like I respected it and like thought it was cool. No, Scott seems you're wrong. And I look back and I'm grateful for it,

but I also at the time definitely complained about, about things where you're like, you should shut up. Part of the trip was being in Boston. I remember like there's a big walking tour of like going to all the famous, you know, Boston places. And the only thing that was interesting to me was there was like a unicyclist in the town square doing like a big, you know, for, for money passing the hag. You were his target audience. Yeah.

And that was the only interesting part of that day. I remember. And everything else was super boring. I sort of think Boston is where I went to that special house. That makes sense. You're both joking. I'm gonna joke. Welcome players. I'm gonna joke.

That's a 3-mium callback. Wasn't it? Welcome. Still makes us laugh. After all you heard it. All these minutes later we're still enjoying it. Oh my god. We didn't take many trips when I was a kid.

Yeah. I mean there were school trips but there were not a lot of family trips that I can recall. They're expensive, especially with how many- Oh, I fucking, I can't imagine. How many- Kids? Kids you have.

What do you call those things? Well, I know in the middle of that, I was trying to remember if we were all in one hotel room, and I think we were. Oh, that's weird. Oh, for sure. We never had our own hotel room. Oh, no.

Oh, my brother and I had to share a bed on all these trips and I'm like, yeah, we'd be pushing each other like, get the fuck away from me. I feel like we would. In Europe, like we would take my, because my dad valued going on like a big trip like that more than like going to like Portland or something. We like never did that. So like we would be like every few years we do like a big trip when I was in high school and stuff. And my brother and I had to share a hotel in this, share a bed in this room, everywhere. And we're like having pillows and we're like punching. Well, because I remember this trip, we were in one room and it was the five of us and

it was like, I think my mom and dad in one bed, my brother and I in one bed, and then they would get a cot for my young sister who was, let's see, when I was 13, probably five. You know, it's just like, is that fun? I don't know. That's literally, I mean, I think that's, but what are you going to do? You're going to put your kids in the other room. I'm sure people do that if you have the money to do that. But like, but I do think about that trip a lot of like, and I saw so much

stuff that I'm appreciative for. Yeah. But like battlefields. Oh God. So chocolate. So glad I'm appreciative for. But. Like battlefields? Oh God. No chocolate. So glad I saw that field. I saw one chocolate. I saw one Hershey's chocolate, it was a dollar 50.

I don't think I stayed in a hotel until I started doing comedy. Really? Yeah. I don't remember ever being in a hotel as a kid. Yeah. Yeah. Well you started comedy young though too.

Yeah I was four years old. Yeah. Yeah, you started comedy young though, too. Yeah, it's four years old. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like most of it was all about how dirty your underwear was. Yeah. Yeah. How I can't wait to not go to school tomorrow. I think most of my like state sightseeing was like as an adult and like a lot of like on tour. I think a lot of the cities went to it was my first time going to a lot of.

I think the first time I went to Australia was with you guys. I think it was my first time too. And my last time. Yeah, I had been there several times before Not an easy flight to several times it's not but you know what I'm glad I did it Yeah, I always remember on that flight I was like in the last row and I curled up into a ball and tried to sleep for the entire time Yeah, not anymore, but I was, yeah. Oh yeah. I don't think I could do that now. I did a show there, was it the Melbourne festival?

I can't remember. I hope so. But I, why? I just hope it was. You invested in this? Yes. Okay, but I was flying, but they flew me and they flew me in, it was either,

I must have been business class, but it was like, like stretch out completely flat beds, you know. And so I was sitting in the like second to last row or something like that. And right by the potty, I was sitting next to Tickle, Tickle, Poopy, Poopy. Oh, and I've told the story. I was sitting next to rapper The Game. Wow. Oh, remember him?

And then he had a girlfriend or a lady that he was seeing who was also on the flight and she was sitting up in the front and he asked me to switch places with her so they could sit together. So you got a better seat. And he said, I'll give you my CD. So you got a better seat. And he said, I'll give you my CD. Come on, be a gentleman. Oh, don't do that.

The gentleman actually would be you in this situation. You switch with somebody else. Yeah. So I was like, yeah, okay. Yeah, why didn't he ask the person next to her? It actually was worse. The seat was worse. No.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. For a long time. It was like the equivalent of a sofa bed with like a bar in it or whatever. It was weirdly uncomfortable. I was like, this guy fucking got me. He, the game. This is why they call him that. Yeah.

He gamed you. He gamed me. Man, and now he's not popular. That sucks. And neither am I. All right, we have to take a break. Ah, Lauren, spring has sprung. Spring has truly sprung.

Wow, what does that mean to you? Well, I mean, for me, I like to get out there and I like to enjoy the weather. I like to sort of, you know, I like to be active. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. Get out in the sunshine. What going for a run? Sometimes I like to run, but man, I'd love to. Oh my gosh. Who's that? Oh my gosh. Oh no. Oh, it's me. Hey guys. Oh, hi. Yeah. I was reading a funny comic strip. Oh, that's Henry. Yeah. I remember Henry. Yeah, I remember Henry. He's bald, he doesn't have a mouth. Yeah, sure. Anyway, we were talking about it being spring and the things we like to do to enjoy the

weather. Oh, for me, what I love to do is I love to get on my electric e-bike and just zip around the town. Really? You know, I've heard they have an amazing variety of models built for riders of all abilities, and the fact that it's never been easier to fall in love with riding again? Scott, everything you're saying is true. And what I'd like to do is tell you and you, Lauren, and I guess everyone listening, since we are recording this, go to electricbikes.com.

Electric e-bikes. You forgot. Yeah. The thing is, is you have to go to electricebikes.com. Can I tell you what happened. You forgot. Yeah. The thing is, is you have to go to electricebikes.com. Can I tell you what happened? What happened? In my mind? Yeah.

I was thinking electric, and I was thinking, OK, I have to remind people that there's no E at the front. And so you skipped all E's. That caused me to completely skip all E's. It's a common mistake, but here's what the address is. Electricebikes.com. And you'll discover e-bikes that start at just $799 with the XP light.

And look, can I be honest with you? Yes, please. I want to share some feelings. Okay. This isn't weird. It's a safe space. I love my electric e-bike. Just owning it has made me so much more motivated to get out there and get some fresh air. I use it all the time. Well, they're a great way to get around, offering up to 150 miles on one charge through Electric's unbeatable long range options. Go full throttle into spring with Electric E-Bikes, the number one selling E-Bikes in the nation.

Get your adventure started at electricebikes.com. And please mention the freedom sent you in the post checkout survey. That's L-E-C-T-R E C T R I C ebikes.com. Tired of not being able to get ahold of anyone when you have questions about your credit card. Well, with 24 seven U S based live customer service from discover, everyone has the option to talk to a real person anytime, day or night.

Yes, you heard that right. You can talk to a human on the discover customer service team anytime. So the next time you have a question about your credit card, call 1-800 discover to get the service you deserve. Limitations apply. See terms at discover.com slash credit card. And we're back and It's time for a three-chart three-chart time everybody and you know what this is

This is where we play a fun game like a parlor game a car game the three of us play it together We're friends and we have a good time if you would like to send us one of the great time Paul I want just to know I don't want to correct you but we have a great time You're absolutely right Thank We have a great time. Paul, I want to just, I don't want to correct you, but we have a great time. You're absolutely right. Thank you. We have a great time. And if you would like to send us something

that would enable us to have this great time, why don't you write to us at threedomusa at gmail.com and let us know what feature you'd like us to play. That's right. And this one came from someone a while back that we have not documented who they were, but we've played it before. And whoever it was that sent us

They enjoyed hearing their name the first time we played it and don't need it this second time No, we take the names off if we play the game once we take the name off and now belongs to everyone Mm-hmm, and this is called one three five and we're going to improvise a Scene scene and one of us is allowed to say one word each time One of us can use three words and one of us is allowed to say one word each time One of us can use three words and one of us can use five words Which one do you want? I'll use three I'll do five. All right

Hi there guys, hi Well, well well look now Look at what? Huh? Look at what? Look at you two here. Oh, that's right. Payment.

Oh, right now? Today? Ideally. Pay for what? Work. Um, right now today? Ideally. Pay for what? Work. Oh, you did work for... You. Me. That's right.

I, um... I don't want to. Pay you that. Can we work something out? Done. Whoa. Don't put it down. Point that here. Pay. OK, be cool. No. Is that even loaded, honey?

Condescending. Okay. You showed me bullets in there. Yes. Bullets in there. Okay. Honey. Apology. Oh, are you, are O and K two different words? No, no, but she, she interrupted. She interrupted me.

Hey, be nice. Okay? Die. Now. I'm not dead. Be nice, okay? Die. Now. Psss. Psss. I'm not dead. Damn it. That gun shoots water, don't it?

Psss. You missed, honey. Psss. Psss. Psss. Psss. Quitting. Look, I'll pay you, okay?

Good. How much did we say? Million. Pennies or would you say? Pennies. That's too much. Oh, the oh was freestyle because I just realized what you said.

Shut up. Shut up? That's two words. Would you accept nickels in... In lieu of pennies? Okay. Check? Now you want a check.

ATM card okay? No. Oh, I can ATM card okay? No. Oh, I can't just tap? No, why not? How? Apple Pay? Fun on phone. Sure.

Apple said that about Apple. Apple Pay, fun on phone. Apple, if you're out there, why don't you get a slogan? Sure. Okay, double click to pay. Put gun down. Don't pee on me and tell me it's raining, Judge Judy. OK, there. Got it.

Have you received? Received. Glad we could do business. Bye Judge Judy. Bye. Wait, your robe! It's caught! Naked!

Judge Judy, whoa! Judge Judy, you are hot. Wood bang, Judy. Hey, Judge Judy, you up? Die. Oh no! Shot in heart! I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it.

I thought one would be easier somehow. It's worse. Quitting, quitting, winning. Remember that winning hashtag winning Tigers blood. Remember that tour he did? Oh, yeah. Yeah. People were like screaming and enjoying it. Can you imagine? God damn. It's like Tom Sandoval went on tour with his band after Scandival. At least he had a band. What if he just went on tour going Scandival. Remember when he was like hitting the wall with the hammer and

going Scandival. I don't like this guy. I don't think he's good What if he did that on tour he brought out a sledgehammer? I probably like Gallagher or Peter Gabriel like Gallagher Can someone take over Gallagher's sledgehammer duties? I thought his brother did that I know but I mean now that he's gone Could we just do it? What is it a public domain? Yeah, I think it's up for anybody if anybody wants to make that their comedy I think you could do you think smashing a watermelon with a big mallet is in the public domain? Yeah. I think it's up for anybody. If anybody wants to make that their comedy, I think you could do that. You think smashing a watermelon with a big mallet is in the public domain? I think it's just kind of an homage at this point.

You think like the first person who ever picked up a guitar and sang, like they own that? Well, I know a friend, he got his first real six string. He bought it at the Five and Dine. I know that guy. Yeah. I've heard of him. This was, I mean, this is,

it feels like it was about 54, 55 years ago. Something like that, yeah. Yeah. But it's like a big story. I mean, it's a story that's told a lot. Yeah, yeah. And I mean, he considers it the best days of his life. Really?

Obviously. I mean, honestly, it sounded like he was really free. God damn, I don't think I can look back at the past and say those are the best years of my life. Maybe when I'm very old I can do that, but right now I feel like I'm having a pretty good time. You could name the Halcyon days of your life right now. I like to think I'm in them.

I think so too. Even though I'm miserable all the time. Yeah, no, I think that each era has a positive thing to it. Each era has a positive thing for it. But each era has a positive thing for sure. I was thinking about the decades and like what, what, just All of them? Yeah, like twenties, thirties. Like from zero to now.

No, I'm just talking about my decades. Oh sure. You know, and I was trying to go, I was trying to go like, oh, what's, what are the best ones? But I think they've all had their own flavor. I mean, like in my 20s, starting out in standup and forging relationships that I still have to this day, and it was a lot of fun, we had a lot of fun.

30s moved, you know, it was when I was living here and working in showbiz for the first time. A lot of fun, a lot of anxiety. 40s, getting to know my, getting to feel more myself. Having some triumphs, having some tragedies. 50s remains to be seen. Yeah. How old were you when you met Janie?

be seen. How old were you when you met Janie? I would have been in my, it was 2005, 2005 we met. Doesn't that wait? Nope, 2003. That doesn't narrow it down for me. We met in 2003.

Doesn't work for me in my math brain. So I would say my good math brain. I would say I was in my mid to late thirties. Wow. Yeah. Cause we got married, we dated for five years. And then I was 40 when we got married. Wow. Wow. It makes sense. Wilson. Wow. We did the famous. Wow. Wow.

We ran through all the famous wows. Yeah. Yeah. Owen Wilson, Christopher Walken. And then, whoa. I'm trying to do another one, but that doesn't end well. How about this one? Wow. The nanny, Fran Drescher? Did she say wow? No.

But she could have must have. Guys, let's play one round of the picnic game. Oh, fuck. Oh, no. I don't think we do it right. Oh, no. That's okay. We, one person thinks of a criteria theme or category of things that their guests can bring

to the picnic. Oh, different. Okay, I'm gonna do criteria. Yep. This is different than the other one. And then we ask if we can bring specific things to the picnic. Oh, that game, Jesus.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you let us know whether we can come to the picnic or not. Okay. Lauren, think of the us know whether we can come to the picnic or not. Okay. Lauren, think of the criteria of what we can bring. Or category. Or. I've got it.

Ooh. All right. Can I bring my lunch pail to the picnic? Yes. Hmm. Can I bring my pack of individually sliced American cheese? Yes.

Can I bring my round spherical ball to the picnic? No. Well, how big is it? This big. What? Yes, you can bring it. Oh. Okay.

Can I, what are the things so far? Lunch pail and individually sliced cheese and a ball that's this big. Okay. For the listener, it's probably a circumference of baseball. Baseball. Yeah. Can I bring a handful of raw almonds?

Yes. Can I bring an elephant? No. Can I solve it? Yes. Is that how this works? Yes. Things you can hold in your hand. Yes. Whoa. I solve it? Yes. Is that how this works? Yes.

Things you can hold in your hand. Yes. Whoa. I gave it away. You did. You were mouthing it to me the whole time. That's why I laughed. Things you can hold in your hand.

Well, we got to do some ASMR real quick. Okay. Yeah, this is for the 3D ASMR. This is freedom. Freedom ASMR. This is a story that I've told before that I'd like to tell again. Piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss. Miss Pigs. Hello, Miss Pigs. This is for story that I've told before that I'd like to tell again. Piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, piss, a basket of cherries? It depends. Oh no.

Oh, that's a bad start. Can I bring my little Red Riding Hood cloak? No. Can I bring my purse? Depends. Oh my God. Can I bring my depends? No.

Come on. Can I bring my blackends? No. Come on. Can I bring my black leather jacket? Yes. What did you, Cherries? Oh, okay, right, right, right, right. Can I bring my elephant? No. Can I bring my...

You really wanna bring an elephant. I know. It's like so weird. My Depends. Can I bring my water, my plastic water bottle? Depends. These Depends are not helping. Yeah. Depends shouldn't be an available answer.

Can I bring my blue plastic water bottle? No. Okay. Oh, can I bring, oh, oh, oh. Can I guess things that are black? Yes. You have guessed correctly. Thank you, master. All right, your turn. Do one. All right, I'll do one. Your turn. Do one. Okay, I got it. Okay. Can I bring my comic book collection? No. Can I bring

a watermelon? No. Can I bring a turkey sandwich? No. Can I bring a trench coat? No. Can I bring my elephant? No. That's gonna be only elephants. Depends. Can I bring a lunchbox? Yes. Can I bring a picnic blanket? No. Can I bring an umbrella? Part of it.

Can I bring a umbrella? Part of it. Can I bring a window? No. Can I bring a car door? Yeah. Can I bring a book? No. Can I bring a pick and nick basket? No. Can I bring one chip?

Be more specific of what type of chip. Tortilla. No. Can I bring a 1950s robot? Yeah, please. Can I bring a Funyun? No. I'd like to solve. OK. Things that are metal. That's right. I would have accepted Iron Maiden album as well. Or like a chip for my computer.

Yes. Wow. That's heavy. When you think about it, it's wild. It's actually really deep how he did that. It's actually super deep. Oh my, oh. Put your ass to sleep. Zabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabad. Zabadibidabadibidabidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidibidib came to your house and you were having a heart attack and you're like scoodly doodly bop busty busty bop right before he put clear. I only really know him from Chris Catan's impression of him.

So I mean pretty accurate. I think you're good. You've never heard of Van Halen? I've heard I've heard of Van Halen. I just don't really know. Got it bad got it bad got it bad I'm half a teacher. I know that one. Lean down between my legs. Shut the a DJ. I know that one. Lean down between my legs. Shut the fuck up.

Pull the seat back. It's rude, it's a rude song. I know. It's nasty. It's nasty, because I think what he was really doing. Don't want. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, real quick.

What was he? Fishing for change. Kids that listen to this, stop listening. What was he pretending to do? Pretending, he's just pretending to do it. What were you saying that he was acting, he was acting like he was. Yeah. Uh, he's talking about cranking his yank.

Well, I got that part. Cranking his yank. Oh, he's in, he's in a car or whatever. Oh, okay. And he's like pushing the, like, uh, you know, releasing the lever to. It's pretty. Releasing the lever. It's pretty spot on. Yeah.

Not that much... No, he's filth. Layering there. He's a filth man. He's a filthy guy. I'm the filth man! I think Van Halen songs and David Lee Ross songs should be outlawed.

Okay. Wow, that's heavy. Outlawed. Outlawed, yeah. I feel like they almost are. I haven't heard one in a long time. I was thinking about that, like certain songs. Some people just will never hear them ever again.

Do you know what song I've heard a lot recently? I want to say in the last couple of years, more than I ever expected to ever hear again, is the follow-up to Rupert Holmes, the Pina Colada song. Oh, right. The song, Him. Yeah, that's right. What you gonna do about him?

It's him or it's me. And then there's a little bridge where he goes Woohoo! It's a weird, weird song. I heard a song the other day which was like an answer song to Billie Jean and it's called- The chat is my son.

It's called, who does it? I heard it for the first time. Melbourne Moore, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. But it was like someone in the, it was a woman singer in the guise of Billie Jean, like my name is Billie Jean. And it was kind of a hit, but it got me on the Wikipedia page of answer songs.

Sure. And most of the ones on the Wikipedia page are not true answer songs. They're just kind of like related songs. Yeah. But I do love a good answer song. They're so fun. Do people do it anymore? Well, in the 2020s, we have Jessie's Girl 2, Cohedent Cambria's. Who? Cohedent Cambria? I don't know who that is. They're like emo but happy. Yeah, but Rick Springfield is on it as well. So it's kind of more of a collaboration.

No, that's not an answer song. Daniela Yellow, of course, answer song to Papa Don't Preach. Yes, which was, Papa just wants the best for you. Papa just wants to see you through. Please have an abortion. Oh my God. I thought that Papa didn't want her to have the abortion.

Do you see? Papa don't preach. She was keeping her baby. I'm in trouble, do Papa don't preach. I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby. I always felt like that wasn't truly about, I'm gonna keep her baby. I'm in trouble, deep, Papa don't preach. I made up my mind, I'm keeping my baby. I always felt like that wasn't truly about, I'm gonna keep a baby. She was singing like about her baby, like her boyfriend.

That's what I think the song is. No, are you an idiot? I've always felt like the song was more about like, Papa don't preach to me about this guy that you don't like, I'm gonna keep my baby. That is a wild interpretation. It's a literal song. And then they made it literal later to like, nevermind.

They did. That's a weird theory. And you should be ashamed. Let's look at the lyrics. Let's look at the lyrics. All right, I have to pee though. Okay. Just letting you know that.

Pee in front of us. Lauren, don't pee. I'm in trouble. Papa, I know you're gonna be upset cause I was always your little girl, but you should know by now I'm not a baby. Gross. You always taught me right from wrong.

I need your help, daddy. Please be strong. I may be young at heart, but I know what I'm saying. The one you warned me all about, the one you said I could do without, we're in an awful mess. Uh oh. Okay, maybe you're right. I don't mean maybe, please.

She doesn't mean maybe. Yeah. I'm going to keep my baby. He says he's going to marry me. We can raise a little family. I still don't think this is an actual baby. But so Danny Aiello's song. By the way, they say Miley Cyrus's 2023 song, Flowers paraphrases When I Was Your Man by

Bruno Mars. Yeah. But is it an answer song? I don't think so. It's supposed to be an answer song to some song in Bruno Mars song. I think he says I will buy you flowers. Yeah. Yeah. But is it an answer song? I don't think so. It's supposed to be an answer song to some song in Bruno Mars song. I think he says, I will buy you flowers. Okay. So maybe. So I've heard that it is an answer song. It's like, I don't need you. Bruno Mars.

So there's a good example of a modern one. They used to be way more prevalent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hold my own hand. Superstar by the way, was Lydia Murdoch's song, the answer song to Billie Jean by Michael Jackson. Superstar. Superstar. And it has the same kind of like, doon, doon, doon, doon. And it was like, Michael Jackson, stop lying. You know you had sex with that woman. All right, we have to go. If you want to call us, call HagClaims8.com.

That's right. Don't call it. Go to the website. Go to the website. And then our old episodes come out on Tuesdays. That's what we call three visiting all the twos. And our freemium episodes, those come out every other week. That's at CBB World and Apple Podcast Premium or something like that.

And you can hear all of our archived episodes and ad free episodes over at CBB World. There you go. What more can we say but goodbye to you. Bye. Bye. Feeling decision fatigue about what to make for dinner? We get it. I'm Jane Black. And I'm Liz Dunn. We're veteran food journalists and as parents ourselves, we know how hard it can be to feed your family. That's why we created Pressure Cooker, a podcast that offers practical strategies for navigating the marketing madness and cultural expectations around mealtime.

Each week we'll check in with the experts. From social media diet trends to baby-led weaning and AI meal planning, we have all your food-related questions covered. Listen to Pressure Cooker wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm Feminaz De'Aren Gibson. And I'm Homosexual Brian Safi. And we're the co-hosts of the Attitudes podcast. Where we talk about LGBT plus issues, gender issues and pop culture.

Probably with much less respect than they deserve. Look, it's a wild world, and we want to help you laugh at it. Plus, we discuss everything going on in our lives. Like what do you do when your husband accidentally starts a fire in a dumpster? And the best armpit slapping techniques to get rid of the bags under your eyes.

Thanks for the advice, mom. And of course, how to spin a wig around to achieve a brand new look. Stunning. So if you're a fan of high heel shoe chairs or have a crippling fear of hot air balloons but also believe in social justice, then this show's for you.

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