Threedom - I'm Like the Sopranos

Episode Date: May 11, 2023

Lauren, Paul and Scott discuss doing book reports, funny voices and listen to some voicemails! Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

3O 3O 3O Pawalabani Parabhani Parabhani Parabhani Pawalabani Parabhani Parabhani Pawalabani Parabhani Parabhani Pawalabani Parabhani Parabhani I'm just going to be a little bit more I'm just going to be a little bit more

I'm just going to be a little bit more I'm just going to be a little bit more I'm just going to be a little bit more I'm just going to be a little bit more I'm just going to be a little bit more I'm just going to be a little bit more I'm just going to be a little bit more I'm just going to be a little bit more

I'm just going to be a little bit more I'm just going to be a little bit more I'm just going to be a little bit more I'm just going to be a little bit more That little fricking voice by Shirley Henderson. Yeah, from Transpiding and Doctor Who. Yes. Amongst others and also Topsy Turvy one of my personal personal personal fricking. Yes, Topsy Turvy. She's great in that. Does her own singing Yes. A name is Bobo Frick. I have to confess. I did her singing. I did her singing for that role.

Why? You never told me this. Yeah, she called me. I knew her personally. She's my best friend. Did I ever tell you this? No, I'm the one who said you got to do this Star Wars movie and call yourself Bob Ufrick. She came up with the name? No, I came up with the name. Oh, shit, you're right.

Yeah, anyway, I did all of her singing. Why? La, la, la. Oh my God, she's in the room. She's got a beautiful voice. Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? You know us. And I don't go. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day.

She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day.

She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. She's got belly day. Was he talking in Snoopy when he said that? Yeah, of course he was. Would Snoopy became a person for a day? Yeah. Yeah.

That was weird. Oh, it was a very unsettling peanuts. Because I didn't like how he didn't look like a normal peanut. No, he looked, well, he looked like a human, but he still had those long ears. Right. But they were like his skin tone. Yeah.

And people were like, did you have gauges at some point? And he's like, no, this is just how they are. Were we talking about Snoopy and the Red Baron? No. Ever? I mean, probably once. The Red Baron stuff is the most boring stuff. Well, of course it is. He's like in the war. You're like, let's make it modern people. Why would a fucking little dog be fantasizing about flying a plane of world world world world? I don't know. I'm not even talking about the why would he do that or whatever. I'm just talking about how boring you do it. Like, I watched the, World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World World at the time. Maybe, but it just shuts the plot down. Like there's no plot moving forward. It's not just like it's like dream sequences. Yes. Let's move it forward.

The intricate story is the great pumpkin coming or not. And and that's what I think it was real. It was the great pumpkin. Do you know what? I when I was a kid, it really bummed. What happened, Lauren? You dropped something. Stop the presses. I dropped my lotion cap. Can we get the late edition? It puts the cap on the lotion. And then I don't want to get the hose. So I do put the cap on the lotion. When I was a kid, it was again. It hurt last time. Yeah. It's much stronger than they think. Was he just whipping the hose out or he was turning the hose out? I mean, she was in a hole. So it's like how the water's fresh throughout the movie.

That movie is scary. Is it still? I haven't watched it in a long time. I only saw it for the first time a few years ago. I found it. Oh, yeah. That man, what did he say for you? It's creepy.

Jody Foster. What did he say to you? It's so good. It's so creepy. I saw an interview with her where she was saying he did something unexpected. I can't remember what it was. Chick-a-pea? And the hopkins.

Can we open out the key? He like, he basically did something scary that wasn't planned and the thing that she really had a real reaction. Was it the tongue thing? Yeah. Wow. I think it was. I can't duplicate it. I think it was the tongue thing.

Can you ever do a tongue thing with a one? Thank you, pardon. Yeah, you've been told to do this. I can't, I can't duplicate. I think it was the tongue thing. Can I ever do a tongue thing with a woman? Thank you, pardon. Yeah, you've been told to do this. Okay, I'm like this a pranus. Okay, DJ Khaled. Scott was told to stop. He was told to never do that.

I mean, how does it have Michael Douglas? Don't ever do that. You'll get cancer from doing this. When I made Khaled, when he was like, I'll never eat a pussy. And then the internet was like, you're stupid. Your song sucked, you're stupid. You really picked a wrong hill to die out of your DJ.

Why did Paul Stanley come out with a statement on, oh God, it just keeps me from doing it. I don't know who that is. From Kiss. Wait, my sound dropped. Don't statement on what? He's saying he's like, on James Tom's Don't. It what he say he's a He's a

He's a Who is asking Paul Stanley for this? Everyone shut up Everyone shut up Shut up God damn it God no one needs to know you're a You just don't care and your opinion is garbage by the way

Yeah, it's got no let alone that it's garbage, but it's like no he put out a statement It's like yeah, you simply have no reason to talk about. That kind of shit. It's like, am I official letterhead? It is Paul Stanley. That one gives you. It's a shit. You know, he needs to be kicked.

From the desk of the star child. Was he the star child? He's a star child, yeah. When they put the makeup on, no way, wait, wait, wait. Is he's freely the star child? He's freely, he's freely the spaceman. Paul Stanley is the star child.

Do you feel like the makeup ever got old for them? Like where they're like, and we're in our faces again. I just say, hey, doing theater and having to put because I did kiss makeup for Jesus Christ superstar one person. Oh, I forgot about that. It's just such a pain in the ass. Yeah. I did kiss makeup for something once and it took so long.

Wait, you were in kiss for one night. Yeah. You're making a wish. Wait, you were in kiss for one night. Yeah. You're number one night. Wait, what were you going to say before we talked about everything else that interrupted you? Uh, oh, the great pumpkin Charlie Brown. Yeah. Okay. It bummed me out when the great pumpkin did not show up.

I know. I know it's a thing, but like, come on, go, go by once. I didn't want to learn a lesson. I wanted to see how I can break book. Yeah. Sometimes those can be really like heartbreaking films. Absolutely, yeah. A lot of nostalgia so crushing that it's just.

Yeah, I mean, there's so much on we in the peanuts universe. Oh, we. Yeah, there is. The movie Snoopy come home. I remember that in the book, Ribzy, we're both about dogs who were lost for months. Oh, no, you know who has a funny story about Ribzi is TIG. She, I'm gonna tell the story wrong, so whatever,

but the gist of it is that. I like your confidence. She did, she wrote a book report about Ribzi for like many years at school. Anytime she did a book report, it was always about Ribzi. Yeah, there's a point to the story, of course. Well, I don't have that. That is kind of genius because you're elementary school teachers.

Yeah, I'm sure like a certain, a certain age. It's like, yeah, you're in high school. I'm probably telling that story so wrong. But why not, why not just use it for like third grade, fourth grade, fifth grade, sixth grade. I think she did. Another one. Another one.

No, I don't mean eating buses. I of course famously in junior high school did a book report. We had to do a book report on black like me. Yeah. And the teacher gave me a failing rate on that said I did not prove to him that I wrote the book. You wrote it. You wrote the book? Wow, that clocked me. Someone in our class wrote the book. And we all had to write, I like to guess who wrote it. We all wrote that we wrote it. It was like Mafia.

And I was like, I wrote it. He said you did not prove to me that you read the book. Did you prove it to him like after that and say, well, look, I did not prove it to him. I was like, I did the report. What, how, I wasn't vague. I didn't know. No, I had this teacher once, him. I was like, I did the report. What how I wasn't vague. I didn't know. No, I had this teacher once, who's my journalism teacher,

which makes you wonder why we're even doing this project? Or we had to, we all had to like, I guess, well, we had to report on the groups of Wrath, who you're just like, but he assigned us like as groups, like a section of the book, like I just had to read the middle part as someone had to read the end. Then we each present our part of it all. But it was like, I don't know what happened. It was like a horrible, I mean, no sense.

That's a bad assignment. I'm trying to, I'm trying to figure it out from a journalism angle. I don't even know if there was any connection. Bringing it back to peanuts from, from my newspaper class, there was an editorial about spanking in school because it was still happening at the time for some reason. And I drew a cartoon for it, which was Charlie Brown, like bending over the table, being spanked and going, good grief.

And my journalism teacher held it up in front of the class and said, all right, everyone, what is wrong with this? And someone raised their hand and said, it's copy it's copyrighted and he went, exactly. There's no way we can publish this. And in my mind, I'm going, he's wrong. And it is wrong. Like, the parody is not the thing. Yes, the whole point of it is you can use copy,

it's fair, you just make me so, I'm not true because Thomas Nass, the famous political cartoonist, the reason he drove driven one so fucked up is so he wouldn't get sued. Because they were originally who? Well, the blondie character's Dagwood and blondie? No, no, no, he would draw like boss tweed,

but it would be a gross caricature so the boss tweed couldn't sue you. Oh, wow. He was like, because if he sue, you have to admit it looks like you. Right, right. Yeah. Yeah, I'm that person looking yeah, that's me obviously in the corner

That's me a big round man Who is boss sweet again? The cheap out don't scandal my dear boy. I don't know that much about that much I was I was famously character characterized in Mad magazine as part of Orange is the new black That's very cool. I look hideous, but that's great. Hey, I mean, this is how you are last I did some someone had me sign their book Zatr jacket nice nice good stage name Zatr jacket

I'm Zatr. I'm Zetcher. He's Hector Jacket. He's Hector Jacket. Zetcher. A man barely alive. That was just a real moment in time, everyone. Steve, do you remember? I remember the introduction to the $6 million man. Steve Austin. I was a man barely alive. I was imagining a man in a Tuxedo introducing the $6 million.

Every week. It's like that episode of Cheaters. I'm so glad you're here. Tonight we present yet another episode of the six million dollar man. This time he may be encountering a mythical creature who shoes eyes as rather large. Did you see that episode of Cheaters

that I'm talking about where the producer came in? It took Cedom. You've told me about this so many times. I can talking about where the producer came in a Tuxedo. You've told me about this so many times. I can't remember if I saw it or I just envisioned it. I just feel like saying, have you seen that episode of Cheaters? There's five million and I was saying. It was eight. No, this one is not the same.

Not the same. Not the same. Because it was like a special episode. It was like the 100th episode or something. And so like the producer came out in a tuxedo to introduce it and then said, and it's a brand new era for cheaters because the old host, I forget who was old and who was new, but Joey Greco was one of them. Yeah, who I met once in a garage. And the other guy was Greco Joey. Greco Joey. Yeah. So one of them was

one of them got fired and the other one was replacing him. So it was one of them could only tell the truth. So it was Guy and Tuxedo introducing a very special episode and then they they filmed the new guy introducing the footage, but they only had the old guy doing the footage. The most confusing like three-host show of cheaters I've ever seen. But that's a good episode and you have to watch that over and over. Yeah, yeah, you just love you got to say I want to put some YouTube. Does it always end the same? No, it's always in the same one time.

No one cheated. Just kissed. They were so insulted. Both of them. Like how dare you would insinuate this? Oh my God. Have you ever been on cheaters? And we'll go around the table.

Would you? You know, you know, taking it, removing it from our personal lives, don't you kind of love when there's some hot goss going around? Why do you know some? No, I'm saying like, but those moments when it's like something's crazy happening, you're like, oh, this is insane. I like it when I'm, there's a certain remove from the goss.

Yeah, that I enjoy. No, yeah, it's better when you don't, when you're not enmeshed. Of course, yes, when you don't give a shit about the people, when you care, it's sad. Yeah, I think when you care about the people, but not enough where you would be part of it. Does that make sense? Like, you're like, you're not their best friend, but you know them. Yeah, you've hung out with them enough to be like, oh, that's juicy. Yeah, yeah.

But not so much. It depends on what the cost is. Yeah, well, that's true. What if it's real narrow? What if they're in love? Who, the people? You know what I don't mean? I hear some gossip. Someone did love. Oh my God. That's fun. That's fucked up. Um, by the way, I saw Elvis yesterday and the funniest part I meant to tell you Paul's where Tom Hanks is like, and then we were in movies. We had fun. I just thought I could watch the movie that I'm hearing your impression of in the entire

time. Pretty accurate, right? Pretty accurate. But he just like, one way to go. I'm hearing your impression of in the entire time. It's pretty accurate, right? Pretty accurate, but he just like, at one point, he goes, I got him to, I got that. There's still be in movies. We had fun. So it's a weird, that framing device is so strange. He did you see it? I, well, see is an interesting word because. Yeah, thank you.

You're welcome. I had about eight screens open. This is the eight screen experience. You saw that running time and you're like, I'll be shopping for 10,000 things on 10,000 different tabs. And on my phone open and yeah. I'll watch it in Denver. That's one of the things to do when you're dead.

Yep. That's amazing. What are you adding? What the fuck were we talking about? Oh, gossip. Why do you have some gossip? No, but we're just talking about how it's just a blind item. I have a blind item. No, but I've

probably mentioned this show, normal gossip. It's a podcast. Yeah, I like it. They it's the host has people submit like nor like gossip from their lives, like, and then they just change all the names. And then they talk it through with a guest like, so this happened at this person's I feel like's place or whatever. I feel like every newspaper now is doing something like the ethicist or ask Carolyn Hacks or whatever

because they're always coming up on my Twitter feed. But I read one yesterday about a guy who went into his wife's phone and looked at her messages. Don't do that. Don't do it. But every message that she was sending to her friends were about how much she hates him. Oh! So he's like,

Oh, well, that's good. I was like, when he was cheating, got it. Yeah, yeah, that's like, and it's all like, what's good to get to the bottom of that? What a loser he is. Oh, that's so sad. He's been. He was fired and now I've had to pick, like,

it's been a financial drain on me and he's like no where I was fired. Yes, but the money we got from selling our house. She hasn't taken a kid. So he's like, what do I do? Because obviously I shouldn't have gone into her phone, but now I know she hates me. I'm supposed to sit here and take it. That's really rough. I think you just have to say you went in her phone and it's because you were suspicious of something. I think they were saying it's not equal. Yes, we did a bad thing,

but it's not equal. Like her hating you need to get over the relationship. You need to lead stories. Yeah, you need to like settle that. Yeah, yeah. But it always gives the other person excuse to go like, well, what are you going through my phone?

That's true. That's a tactic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely a tactic. That's a great one. It's really good. And it works. I use it all the time. And it's great because you were right, you know, I use it whether or not the phone is involved. No, because you can always say, well, why were you going through my phone? And chances are they probably were.

Yeah, it was to see if you thought I was a loser. I felt like you hated me. so I wanted to make sure. That's awesome. And I feel like obviously he's going through a phone because he knows something is wrong. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't just do that. Yeah, like, I think I might want to go through someone's phone.

Yeah. That is so chilling to me, like if I were to discover come upon messages like an affair or something like that would be I mean I know someone that's happened to you guys don't know yeah yeah we don't know anyone no but I mean I wouldn't be saying it if you did yeah it's the worst Jane Seymour yes okay I had a feeling no but it's so scary. From wedding pictures? Was she Dr. Quinn, medicine woman? She was. Yeah. What a funny descriptor.

Medicine woman. Like was it? They didn't have a term for it back then. Can't call her a doctor. No, you're not allowed to. Everyone go to like no, where is the actual doctor? Medicine woman. They still do that to this day, Scott.

What? My gynecologist is a medicine woman. Really? I just talk, I say that about her. Your gyno? My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my his name is male gynecologist and everyone wanted to go to him because it's a different meaning now. Yeah. I just thought of something I can't say.

I thought of a joke I can't make. But the fact that you thought of it means you're a bad person. Oh, no doubt. Don't worry, I've gotten myself low, they can take him. You care. So are you on Twitter still under your checkmark? Oh, yeah. Yeah, my checkmark went away.

I think I still, I was going to give it up after the book came out. But I also, I don't know, it's the only way to get news. But it is so bad, the worst people now are just, I don't know. I don't feel like it's the only way to get news, but it is so bad the worst people now are just I don't know. I don't feel like it's the only way to get news. I should be I should be more just on the news app Yeah, I mean, how do you get your news? I Mainly I get my news from Hudson news. That's my trusted news. Oh, I go to Hudson news every day In the morning, I hate that I have to buy a ticket But it's worth it. It's worth it. I spend a thousand dollars on four bags of snack every day.

Yeah. I never take a flight and someone several watch lists. But I, but I will say I did use to get all my news from Twitter. I'll say you take it flight lessons. I love taking flight lessons, but I'm so scared of planes. I did the flight simulator. Let's do look fun. I love doing funny love, but I'm so scared of planes. I did to the flight simulator. Let's do look fun.

They do look fun. The three of us should take a flight class. No fucking chance. What we'd never get up in the plane. Oh, you just go on the simulator and go, weee. Yeah, that's on. That doesn't sound like fun. I don't think they just let you hop into that part. I like to go weee all the way home.

Oh, you know all the way home. All right, speaking of home, let's take a break. Yeah, let's go. Let's go. I'll never return. Bye. Amazing. And we're back. For people who don't know during the breaks, we each go to our separate

homes. And then we reconvene three, four hours later, four hours later. Yeah. We just, yeah, we like to just come down from the high break. I, you know what I had to do that last night, come down from the high of the show. We had a fun show. Yeah. And, and then I, even though I knew I had to do that last night come down from the high of the show. We had a fun show. Yeah. And then I, even though I knew I had to do this in the morning, I stayed up a little later. Oh, I stayed up late last night. Did you really?

Coming down. Yeah. How late? I stayed up a little past midnight. I mean, that wasn't a two-way out. That's when we're going to let it all hang. Yeah, yeah. But I was, you know, what I was doing is I was catching up on one of my favorite shows,

a million little things that I had. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I somehow, because you know, up on one of my favorite shows, a million little things. Oh, yeah, I'm really amazing. I somehow, because you know, sometimes Hulu doesn't show you what you've been watching. Yes. And if you forget, I was like, wait, I'm like five episodes, I'm like, what, I just thought there wasn't an episode. And so I, I have been what I caught up last night. Oh my God, the series finale, I'm going tomorrow to go to a live event,

a million little things, because I was on the show, and so I got invited to this thing. But it's the finale, the series finale, and I'm gonna show you a thing. Wow, it's a series finale. I'm gonna sob the episode, the most recent episode before the finale is so emotional

and soul crushing. Oh my God. I don't know what this show is. Well, it's a great show. It's on ABC. It's, um, say no more. I love it. James Rode, Rodriguez, Allison Miller.

Um, we got a lot of great people. Have you ever seen that show 100 big things? Yeah. Yeah, I love that one. This is like that only it's tweaked slightly. Well, if there's more things I'm interested, but if they're not big, then I don't think I'm interested. I thought the same thing. Okay. It's interesting. Okay. All right. I'll check it out. But anyway, they're taking...

But anyway, because they knew that they're going to end the show, which you know, it's always hard when a show doesn't know they're going to end, then it just ends up. True. They're, they're taking us out of ice. Like every night I've ever been on, it's a nice emotional journey towards the end. And it's breaking my heart. Oh, but in a good way. Yeah, it's really good. Somehow heartbreak feels good in a place like that. Yeah.

Now I understand at the event, they've hidden a million little things all around. We're not allowed to leave until we find all a million. Yes. Yeah. And it's got to be a group effort. Yeah. Well, there's no way I can find a million by myself. Yeah. Exactly. You can find how many things in a day. 10.

Did you say in 20, 24 hour period? To find. Yeah. Yeah. No, no, no sleep. Yeah. How many things could you find if you didn't go to sleep? 10. 10. Yeah.

So if you did go to sleep, how many? With some rest, maybe 12. Wait, so you would find more things if you slept for eight hours in that 24 hour period. If I'm rested, if I'm not rested at all, I'm not looking at all, you know, it's like, I just stopped looking. You start to zone out. How many things can you find in this room right now? 10.

Which, so it's ten every time. Guitar, TV, frame, sky, guy. Sky, window, door. How's window? How's window? Maze window? How's window? How you know Maze Window is?

I've seen it. I've seen it. We saw where it's filmed today. How was he? He's doing really well. He's thriving. We saw where his film today might be. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it.

I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it.

I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it.

I'm seeing it. I'm seeing it. I'm's in the gurgling stage. I fucking love him. I love him. He gets me every time. I don't think he's not going to get me. He gets me. Oh, he's a jacuity. But do you know my feeling about the Star Wars shows? The only one I have not really, the one that kind of was like,

the least enjoyable for me was Obi-Wan. Right. But the rest of them, I, you find saying, I would rather than make them than not make them. Yeah, a great, you know what I mean? Sure. Because maybe I'll get to be on one at some point.

I would agree. I see there's a bunch of comedians on there. Yeah, Kathleen Kennedy, if you're listening, we don't think you're going to get fired. Kathleen Kennedy, if you're listening, I love you. Oops. Put me in whatever. Put us in Star Wars. I'll play whatever.

Whatever coach. I'll play a laser beam. I'll put in the work to be put in Star Wars at this point. I've yeah Oh really you were forced to watch the things that we watch for pleasure and I talked about it Please put me in this thing. I don't care about it. Yeah, no, but I would like it if I was on set. Well sure Absolutely, that's different. You go like I kind of have a new appreciation for this now Yeah, I think I know an appreciation for this now. Yeah. I see how the, how the, how the soup is made.

Especially through the eyes of my character, Blorth Flover. I got you to a Blorth Lager. Yeah. When is the last time you stayed up for 24 hours? Oh, I think, I think when we were doing the, the all night shows at UCB, the 24 hours. Oh, I think I think when we were doing the the all night shows at UCB the The 24 hours. I don't even know I Know that when I was younger, I guess yeah, no, that's true. I guess when I was like in college But it seems unfathomable to me now. Yeah, and it's so unnecessary

I remember one night like in my I was probably in my 40s or something and I had an early flight but a late night the night before, and I was like, I'll just stay up, I'll just stay up and go to the night. I always seem like a good idea. I could do it, right? Oh my God, I stayed up, it was like two more hours, and then I was like, I can't do it.

I know, sleep. So I got like a 45 minutes of sleep, and it's stuck. That's one already. I'm cycle in college, or whatever. It was like fun to stay out all night. Yeah. And the sun's coming up and you're like, do it hanging out. It's all fun. Yeah. It's not fun now. I have a fond memory of one night working at the local comedy club in Philadelphia. How local are we talking? Uh, local to fill to Philadelphia. I can walk to it from my house at the time. But it's not local to us right now.

No, it is not, because it's in Philadelphia. It's in Philadelphia still. Right. I think it's still open under a different name maybe by now. Joe? Yeah, it's just called Thomas. Oh. This was the funny bone in Philadelphia.

And I was hanging out with... I don't like, by the way, when those clubs are called funny bone in Philadelphia and I was hanging out with. I don't like, by the way, when those clubs are called funny bone. Because how many tests can they be called? I know. It hurts when you get, it's not like, haha, it's so funny. Yeah. It hurts. It just reminds me of getting hit there. I don't like when it's a name that sort of,

it's supposed to be comedy adjacent. Yeah. Helium. So many. Oh, that's 10, just kidding. Yeah, because it is because you suck helium to be comedy adjacent. Yeah, helium. Yeah. So many. That's 10,000. Yeah, because you suck helium to be funny. Yeah, suck helium to be funny. Yeah. Or like what's laughing gas?

What's the nitrous oxide? Nitrous at like nitrous oxide. That would be a great name. Nitrous oxide? Doing nitrous. N-O-2. Is that what it is? I think it's N-O-2.

Oh, I hope so. No, look at those. Um, but so I had a little, I had a little fling with one of the waitresses at the club. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, no, no, no, nitrous dioxide is no two. It does the dye mean, I think that means the two parts. So I think I know would be what is nitrous dioxide? Do anything fun? It's a cry. It's crying, guys. It's one of a group of highly reactive gases known as oxides of nitrogen or nitrogen oxides. And OX.

Why, are you okay? Bye. No, I'm just reading. That felt like you guys just froze. And I were on a Zoom. Am I? I'm dying. It felt like that guys just froze. And I were on a zoom. Am I? I'm dying. It felt like that in my brain too.

So here's what happened. So me and this, and a few other people in the weight staff, we, this club went through many changes of management, right? And so there's one period where this person did not give a fuck and we would stay there and drink all night, right? And so I remember leaving in the morning. I don't know why that was coming from all night. I remember leaving in the morning and then walking down the street with this young lady and the fancy gourmet grocery store that was two doors down had just gotten their bread delivery.

It's fresh bread, and we fucking took a baguette out of this bag, this nice warm fluffy baguette. Did you pay for it? No, we were like street urchins. Wow, wow. That's romantic. It was like Paris, but you were in Philadelphia.

Where? Where? Wow, wow. That's so romantic. It's, that's the kind of thing marriages are built upon. Oh, remember, I don't want to break up with you because I remember that magical morning where we did get married for 45 minutes. No, it's like seven years.

And I kept bringing up that bread story. She's like, I don't eat carbs if she wanted to bring up with me, and I was like, remember bread, bread, bread, we found the free bread. What time of day was it? Dawn. Dawn. Yeah. That's it's always darkest before then.

Yeah. That's weird. That's really weird. I said, that's a pattern. There's something going on there. A few times. Yes. Yeah.

It's a really pattern. Yeah. It's definitely something. Yeah. It's really weird. That's a pattern. There's something going on there. It's definitely a pattern. Yeah, it's definitely something. It's definitely something that I notice. He's something. Hey, Jay. You've been noticing things, Jay. You've been noticing things, Jay. What are you doing?

The sunlight when it comes up, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like,

it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's like, it's come back up in the morning. Who used to do that? The two voices, Chris Ellie. It was Chris Ellie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So fun. Yeah, you'd be like, I'm pretty good at the work down here.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. How's the road going? Hey, man, man, man, man, man. I love that when a, like, in Homer Simpson has that where it's like two voices where it's like, oh, dude, dude, you know,

okay, or pee, pee, pee, pee, we heard him and that's the other one. Or pee, pee, we heard him and that was like, Jim and E. Glick does it as well. Oh my God. He's like, I have to do it. Jim and E. Glick is that voice is one of the hardest things for me to not accidentally Oh, yeah, when I'm doing a character that I haven't done before. It's so funny. It's so it's like your character funny James Glick.

Yeah, yeah, that's one where you kind of tend to go into that. You're really going to it there. He interviews celebrities. Wait, you're wearing your Dorito shirt. You said you'd never wear that in public. And I guess you're not in public. Are you? This is absolutely not in public. No, you said the last night. This is a private record. So he's wearing his redo shirt. You never dirty up his good shirts. When he sees people in public, do you ever when you're dressed shirt to be by us?

Other shirts to be by them. When you're dressing to you ever take into consideration, oh, what happens if I get arrested in these clothes? I don't think about that, but you know, I think about a lot is if there is like an earthquake

or something right in the middle of the night. I sometimes think like, I'll go, do I put on shoes or do I just drive in sandals? And then I go, well, what if I get arrested? Then I'm wearing sandals in jail. You look real, John. Like a guilty. You should keep running shoes under your bed for earthquakes. That's what you're supposed to do.

So there's under my bed or? Yeah, look at old pair under your bed for earthquakes. That's what you're supposed to So there's under my bed or yeah, they can hold pair under your bed And old pair of gym shoes why old well cuz you don't If you're if they're one do you want to wear every day that you put them back under your bed every day It's like you just kind of toss an old pair under there and then if there's an earthquake you go. Oh shit I have my shoes right here We're about to knew like like air Jordans or Fine, put new ones to have a really nice moment when the earthquake happens. What about the ones they make the movie about? Yeah.

Can I put those? Yeah, you can. Yeah. Actually, I have a lot of shoes in them, I bet. Great, yeah. So you might have some nice dress shoes you're throwing out with your pajamas. Yeah, so your bed is super high and it's on top of a big

sheetery. Yeah, and these are all boots. Yeah, yeah, they're all thigh highs. What am I sorry, we're in thigh highs. Yeah, yeah, they're all thigh highs Yeah, you hardly ever see guys wearing thighs Unless you're why Captain Jack Sparrow or something for Paul Stanley him again What else are you supposed to do in case of an earthquake? I don't know, but I thought there was gonna be one the other night because my dog was like hiding in a weird spot like in a blanket being like

Like all scared and nothing happened. Yeah, it just means your house is on it. Yeah, I mean, did you do that or there was a firework which can happen at any point? Yeah, why are the fireworks happening all the time around here? I think people just like to have fun, but you know what I hate is when they shoot one off. It's show the city, baby.

Don't you hate when they, when people do a firework in the daylight, you're like, what are you, so you're just making a huge boom for no reason. I was walking to Dynasty. There was some show, it was still daylight out when I was getting to the theater. And as I was like turning the corner, I heard what absolutely was gunfire,

like a block away. Oh my God. It was fucking crazy. And I was like, and I'm looking around like, no one else seems to be bothered by this. Oh my God. It was really crazy. And I was like, and I'm looking around like, no one else seems to be bothered by this. Oh my God. It was really scary. It was scary.

Yeah. But then I just walked my regular speed. Yeah, I guess they were like, he doesn't care. I guess it's fine. I don't know. I don't know. I inspired them. Yeah.

I don't want to get shot. I really don't want to get shot. That's something I really don't want. I guess, I guess if I had to rank them, I really don't want to get stabbed with it like a butcher knife. Then underneath that is shot. Well, no, shot in the head is above butcher knife. Okay.

Then shot in the head and live. No. Are you talking fatal, fatal, I'm not just talking fatal things, I'm just talking things. Well, where are you both yawning at the exact same time? I was burping. I was burping. Oh, I was just, I want you to yawning, the exact same thing? I was burping yawning. Oh, I was just, I want you to yawning, you to burp.

I was farting. Oh, okay. Um, I, my ranking is, my ranking is, if I'm going to get shot and die, yeah, shoot me in that. But what about the open casket? We're all going to weep over you. Put a head over my face. Like I'm taking a sneeze.

A fillet hat? Yeah, just like I'm taking a snooze in a hammock. Wasn't burying me in a hammock. That would be so cool. If you went to a do a above ground barrier. No, I wonder why? But if you went to a funeral and the corpse was in a hammock and just like

pose like you're like laying like laid down down down down. You'd love it. You would talk about it forever. Baseball game and a transistor radio. Oh my god. You'd love it so much. I mean, that is kind of cute. Why not?

Right cheaper than a casket. Yeah. It is. How like, have you priced hammocks these days though? Yeah. I mean, I think you, you could definitely get a hammock for like a hundred fifty bucks. Meanwhile caskets. So expensive thousands so expensive thousands.

And what are we doing by spending money in that way? I know we don't think we have a choice and we're crazed with grief. Yeah, I understand the like the way it looks. The people who upsell caskets. I don't know. Yeah. Oh, by the way, new. The people who upsell caskets, I don't know. Yeah. Oh, by the way, new, speaking of slimy people, yeah, my mom got scammed twice the, in one day, one day.

Oh, it's like, and what happened? Mother augurment. And I do an okay job of telling her of like, hey, these things you've done, I think I told you about the, something came up on her computer, which said your computer is frozen. She believed it and called the number and all that kind of stuff. Anyway, so the,

my mom, whatever she asked, if something's real, like an email, I'll be like, read it out loud because you will see how this is not real. Yeah, I know. So this one was your Verizon, someone's tried to put a thousand, tried to charge a thousand dollars to your Verizon account. Call this number.

Oh my God. That one's kind of a good scam, honestly. I know. Is it a text message? Yes. And she has a Verizon account, so she called it and all this kind of stuff. And then I said, okay, you should just call Verizon. That's why I said, I said, mom, don't call that number anymore. Call the number on your bill. Yeah. And she did and they said, oh no, this is a scam. They took care of it. But then on the same day, she gets a call saying, Wells Fargo, your Wells Fargo account is whatever, whatever. She doesn't have a Wells Fargo account and said,

I don't think this is mine. They said, well, give me your social security number. No. And she does. And it's like, what are you? And they go, nope, you're right. You don't have a Wells Fargo account. It's like, come on, man.

Fuck, now she has to change her social security number. Yeah, it takes forever. Really does, they get mad at you. That sucks. I just, the people who scam old people, it's just, and it's like, rotten business. Here's part of the problem. Businesses in general like Verizon or Wells Fargo,

they're so confusing now. Every, you know what I mean? Yeah, they're not helping, because they want you to overpay. Yeah, it's honestly confusing to pay your bill online. Yes, or to leave something they want to make it difficult. Everything is so confusing now that scammers pray upon people knowing that old people are just like, I don't know, I have auto pay on this and not I don't know. I don't know until the boys from the girls.

I was like, I don't know, I have auto pay on this, and I don't know. I can't tell the boys from the girls. I don't know, it's so depressing. It's fucking sucks, man. It's horrible. And yet I think we're gonna fall victim to it as well. I think about that all the time because like, what age do suddenly we fall for?

Yeah, yeah. Well, I had one recently where I thought I was being scammed and I don't think I was, but I just couldn't continue because I was like, if I am, this is stupid. It was about serious XM because my membership, whatever it was ending, and I was like, I don't want to name more.

And they were calling me non-stop, and then I was like, I don't need it. I have this other thing, blah, blah, blah. Then they call me back and they're like, do you want it? And I was like, actually, I kind of do because I want to hear my friend show, and I realized my app won't work if I don't have this anymore, so I do kind of want it? And I was like, actually, I kind of do because I want to hear my friend show, and I realized my app won't work

if I don't have this anymore, so I do kind of want it. And I'm like, okay, great. I was like, I'm glad you called me back. And then they were walking me through this thing, and they wanted my credit card, and I went, wait a second, is this really real? I just started to panic and think it wasn't real. And then I was like, this seems like a scam,

I'm just gonna go online. They're like, no, you can do it over the phone. They'll be through a different thing, where I won't see your number. It goes through a different- If it wasn't a scam, it's them trying to get the credit for- Right, right, right.

So then I was just like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Let me just, I was like, and then I was like, I have to go. No one should ever answer the phone. That's why I told my mom, I said, mom, never answer the phone. Yeah. There is a, because I think the Verizon one

was them calling. I was like, the simple solution, and she's like, well, I need to know for like doctor's appointments because they're, they don't- Yeah, there is a because I think the Verizon one was them calling. I was like the simple solution. And she's like, well, I need to know for like doctors appointments because they don't know the doctor's not trying to scam you. No, well, you know, it says the name. Like it said serious. I said, oh, my God, I'm so on.

Oh, it's them again. And the first time I was like, stop calling me because you call me so many times. And this time I went, actually, I do want your services. So it was like, I kind of was always answering for some reason. I got scammed last year. First time in a long time. I was looking for, I kind of was always answering for some reason. I got scammed last year. For some of the last time. I was looking for, I was looking online for a specific Philly's hat that was sold out by the time I learned of its existence

on the official like new era site or whatever. And so I've been looking for this often on like for a while and then found this site. And it had like that one that've been looking for this off and on like for a while and then found this site and it had like that one that I was looking for and some other ones that were sort of out of print, you know, items. And so ordered a couple and then got an email back that said, you know, your orders confirmed and everything. And then so much time went by. And I was trying to. Three summers. I tried to go.

This was. The counter pages are blowing off. I went, I went to go back to the website. And it just like the pages kept loading and loading and then eventually timed out. And I was like, oh no, did I get a fucking scam? And I looked up the shop. And I was like, yeah, this is probably a scam.

Then like three months after that, that website sent me another email saying your order is still being processed. I'm like, what do you just leave me alone? I haven't tried. I haven't even, I've just supported you. I've said goodbye to you. I had one that I got scammed with during the pandemic that was like, I saw this, the whole pandemic. Maybe I've told you. True. True.

But there was like this Instagram ad I think and it was like, this really squishy big seal pillow. Oh, you told us about this. Anyway, the one that I was so excited to see that arrived and it was a carnival toy. Yeah, I couldn't stop laughing. The one I've started to notice and we've noticed it because Paul and I just did some shows in New York, which sold out, thankfully, but people on Twitter are now saying like, hey, does anyone have wanna sell their ticket to the show?

And then like several people got scammed because people search for that. And then they say, I have tickets, DM me, and then they pay them $80 or whatever. Well, I noticed this on Facebook because I, when I was providing my first... And none of them follow me, and I always, and so I've taken to try to write back to everyone

going, these people are scammers because so many people have fallen for it and contacted me saying, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got scammed out of $80 trying to come to your show. It's definitely, if you're doing something like that, make sure you're in like a group or something. You're not just throwing it out to the world. No, but it was like this, my Facebook,

my like public Facebook page, I posted about my show, and then I noticed somebody was like, hey, I have three tickets, but I can't go, it isn't going to be one of them, and I was like, okay, that's normal, that happens. And then it was like happening, like a span, like a span amount of people saying, like, I bought these tickets and unfortunately,

can I go, I bought these tickets and unfortunately, and I was like, oh, this is fake. And then when I'm like, delete it all of them, but it was such a believable scam. Because that is how people do sell tickets sometimes. Another one that I can't figure out is the, I'm paying $5,000. Anyone who, do you have to do this?

It's like, how is this, and it's happened so much on Instagram now. I know, what do they think they're doing? What is happening? People are going, like, give me, I think this is what it is, because this is what happened on my mother-in-law. It's like you won $50,000.

You just have to pay us $2,000 in Apple gift cards and as a deposit and we'll send it for the shipping or whatever. Oh my God. Doesn't make any sense. Does it make any sense? All right, speaking and not making sense. We got to get a part.

We're talking heads are here. We got to get out here. Maybe for banging on the door. Okay, we're back and we haven't done this in a minute, but you want a little friend. You've been a wild old friend. You've been a wild, old friend, you want to play some voice mails? Yeah! Yeah! What's the voice mailed jingle again?

It goes a little something like this. If you ever say a thing and all you hear is a beep, you left a voice mail. If you rambled on and on and no one interrupted you, you're not on three. You left a voice mail. Wow, it's getting shitty. Yeah. All right, this is from hell. I don't know.

I don't know, but they'll say who they are. Okay, great. Hi, ganged, long time pig, first time piss. My name is Anna and I'm calling to some advice. I am horrible at dating, especially at noticing red flags. Can you name any red flags I should be on the lookout for, any that may be you've ignored, and some examples of green flags. I am in need of

help. Oh my God. Thanks, love you. Bye. That's a great question. It is. I would say the first thing that comes to mind is it's not cute to have to teach someone everything. What do you mean? Yeah, like I think there can be a thing where you're like, oh, I'm like, oh, this guy doesn't know how to do this. Let me show my do. Let me let me. How to drive? Like, I think there can be a thing where you're like, oh, this guy doesn't know how to do this. Let me show him what I do. I mean, I mean, how to drive?

No, like, sort of social cues or cleaning things or just how to treat somebody. Or like, fixing someone is not, that's a red flag. Absolutely, yeah. And if enough people say, I'm not gonna deal with it, maybe they'll fix themselves for the, if you're a grown up, you wanna date another grown up. Yeah.

You don't wanna date somebody who's still working. But it's so common to be like, sort of charmed by someone's, or like think like, oh, I'll fix him. And then what happens is you do that, and then the next person gets the better version. So true. Yeah, just ask my wife.

What's wanting to be her next husband? I feel like there's so many. Hey. There's so many people who stack like updates now and do six and a night or whatever is in there some way to look at that. Oh, that's not something that's around when I was like, people have told you this.

Yeah. That's not something that's around when I was, people have told you this? Yeah, that's nutty. Like they do, they just roll, like they'll do a half hour drinks with one and then schedule. And sometimes they, You know what I actually totally, I totally get why that's a good idea because it's from what I hear from my friends,

like online dating is so horrible and then you're like, you waste your night, getting made up. Yeah, I'm getting made up. And then you're like, out with one person and you go home and you're like, that sucked.

So I understand going out with a bunch, but that's not cool, because then you're kind of just... You're not focusing. And you don't really care about any, right? I mean, it's like, you're not, that doesn't feel. I don't know why anyone would ask me about dating advice, so I'm not even gonna.

I would also say if somebody is talking a lot and not listening a ton. Yeah. People, you know what? Here's what it is. Somebody who doesn't ask questions. Yeah. It's hard because you're trying to see cool. So sometimes you, the impulse is to talk too much about yourself because you're wanting to go like, see, I'm a good person to date because, but, but really I was asking people wanted to just ask about them. People want to be asked about themselves. So I wouldn't even talk about myself at all. I would just like go, but then you see Mavasive. Yeah. Well, yeah, but I'm a drug dealer. What do I do? Uh, don't worry about that. Yeah, yeah. I do. Let's not talk about me. Let's talk about you.

A drug dealer, no further questions. Ideally, it's, it's a give and take. If you're not feeling a give and take, then it's probably not a good idea. And I think it's a red flag if you can't tell if they like you. If you're going out with somebody else, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. People do that a lot. Also, someone doesn't, this is what I did once. If someone doesn't show up for the first date, that they set and then they apologize and say, Oh, no, I'm so sorry. I didn't show up. But let me make another like just didn't show. That happened to you.

No, I'm the one who did it. What the hell? Oh, God. You're a walking red flag. Oh my God. All right. Well, that's enough for you. All right. Green flag. Somebody's nice.

Yeah. Green flag. They like you. They're fun. They're cool. They're nice. They're also they have a real hot pod. Oh, yeah. If they're jacked to shit, yeah, absolutely. That's a green flag. Yeah. It's actually red flag. Do you? Does. You know what? It comes. All right. I've got Paul and Lauren. My name is Amanda. Long time. First time, et cetera, et cetera. I'm calling to ask, what is your sliding doors moment? Aka, what is the moment where if you made a different choice, everything in your life would

be completely different? Okay, thanks. Bye. Oh my God. This question bums me out. I know I have so many. I mean. Because it's like, don't you kind of associate that with something negative that happened?

Like if I hadn't done, if I had just done that. Oh, I think about the opposite about all the good things in my life, like how precarious it is. That's the way to do it. Yeah. That's the same better. I could have easily crashed and burned. Yeah.

Me and CoolUp was such a crazy, you know, version of like this had to happen, this had to happen, this had to happen, this had to happen. It's like if I tried to replicate it, if I had to go back in time and live my life over, I don't think I would ever. I try to be my favorite movie about time. Yeah. So good. About time. About time. Have you watched that? You should do it in your podcast. I'm not going to do it, but you should do it. What do you mean you're not good? You have to do it. to do it, but you should do it. What do you mean you're not going to do it? You have to do it.

But with my celebrity crush, Donald Glieson, of course. That's right. Joanna Gleason. Don't all glee. So, um, you know, Joanna Gleason from Into the Woods. I don't. Um, no, but that Roger Rabbit. That, okay. That are even like getting into comedy.

I think it was such a random thing. Yeah, I had a teacher who was like, you should take improv classes. And I was like, if he didn't do that, I guess I wouldn't know what would happen. Like what if you would not said whatever funny hilarious joke made him go like, oh, she's pretty funny. Yeah, well, that was just a culmination of everything I did, but yeah. If I had not done the musical in my freshman year at high school, Oliver. I would not have met the guy who became my comedy partner who got me into standup.

The little kid who played Oliver. Yeah. Oh, well, I like. He's actually 40 years old. Actually, when I did the show Clipped, I was up for another pilot and I chose Clipped because it was picked up and the other one was. Right, and you wouldn't have met Mike.

And I wouldn't met Mike. If I hadn't taken that miserable job on real time with Bill Marr, I would not be married to Janie. Wow, how did that connect? Because one of the friends that I made at that job knew these other people that I was invited to like hang out with them on their regular Sunday night thing.

Janie, well, she was having a sort of fling with one of these guys. But she came in one night and that's how I met her. Wow. And so I would not have, if I had not been sitting on a stool, off camera watching in real time, real time with Bill Marr. I would not have met my wife.

Wow, actually, I realized that there was even more risk with my story that I basically got two pilots. We didn't know what would happen through their one of them, but only one of them I'd only be in like seven episodes out of 10 and one I would be in all 10. So I'm like, okay, I'll pick that one. We didn't know what to get picked up.

Then it did. Then it was a full year of waiting for it to be shot. The next episode to be shot. And then I got to know Mike during the time as a friend, which is also so, that was all just so random. Normally that would be a very disappointing situation. And I didn't think anything of it at the time, but. I never do do we.

Yeah. I think if I hadn't gotten into comedy, I'd be a movie star. Okay. A famous one. A famous movie star. A movie star. Yeah, as opposed to those movie stars that are, if you just stuck to drama. What if you were an infamous movie star?

Yeah. Alright, here's another one. Hi guys, it's my name's Rachel. I'm from Canada. I just wanted to know, by the way, I love you guys. Thank you. I just wanted to know by the way I love you guys. Thank you. I just want to know what you mean. You guys would want to listen to on a podcast because you're my favorite comedians

and yeah I just want to know who you think is funny. Thank you. That's a nice question. As always my mind goes blank. Well I listen to a lot of comedians on podcasts. Yeah I know I just really feel like I do too. I love Naomi Peragon's podcast, Kamos therapy. I like Brian Safi and Jessica Chaffin, ask Rana. I like smartless. I like those guys. They're not comedians though. Well, I would say Will Arnett is almost a comedian. Almost, but not. Yeah. He said he's not, I guess, on a recent. He's right.. Yeah. He said he's not, I guess, on a recent episode.

He's right. All right. Todd Glass. I would say. Todd Glass. I just like hearing his voice. Mm-hmm. You know?

Yeah. Arden, Marine, and Brian, Safi have a great new podcast that Paul was just on. That's right. Lauren was on as well. Yeah. They made us eat a disgusting. So every comedian has a podcast. That's the thing, made us eat a disgusting. Every comedian has a podcast.

That's the thing, but who do we like? Every comedian has a preacher character. Do you remember that? Kissing all right. Every comedian. But who would you want to have one who doesn't? I would like Martin Short to have a podcast. Yeah.

Oh my God, yes. Absolutely. If Martin Short and Steve Martin had a podcast together every week. Yeah. I was just talking. I would listen to that. Just talking. Yeah. I don't want them ever to have a guest on.

And I don't want them to have to do writing or work to make it. No, no. They just show up and do what we're doing right now. Yes. Oh, a three-dom with the two of them and Selena Gomez. Yeah. That's exactly right. That's what it should be.

It actually is a lot like this show, two older guys. Yeah. Well, I think only Martin was building his face on us to older guys. Yeah, well, I think only Murray's who's building his base to us. Wasn't it? It was I think. Yeah. Do you know the older I get, the more I find jokes

about being old to be so funny? Good. I've been rewatching Dr. Who. Like I started from the beginning from the 60s. And there's some episodes in Blu-ray. There's some successes on Blu-ray. There's some successes on Blu-ray where they've restored or updated some of the effects, but only a little bit, which is really funny.

But they do this thing called Behind the Sofo where they have the original cast members watch the episodes and just comment. Comment on how it's happening. Not Gogglebox, What's it called here? Fricko Fah? The people's couch where they watch TV. But the old cast members,

you sounded like an alien when you said that, but it's not Goggle box. What do you call it here? What do you worth people call it? We of course watch Goggle box where I'm from. But. Well, Goggle box is a British show that they remade here as the People's Couch, where people,

it does like different groups of people watch the same TV show. Yeah, I really enjoy that show. Like they have 90-fiance, do they do that now? When they watch the show and comment on it. Yes, yes, yes. And the old people making jokes about themselves being

old and close to death is so funny to me. Yeah. It's so funny to me. By the way, I wanted to say when I was in Chicago meeting fans, I think like a maybe a 14 year old, I'd be probably listening, so I'm sorry if I gazed your age wrong, but a 14 year old fan came up and dabbed for me. It was very funny. It was like, hi big fan. Wow. That's awesome. That's fantastic. That's cool.

It was very funny. That's fantastic. Look, if you see us, dabbing. If you see us dabbing. If you see us dabbing. If you see me. I hear you. If you see me, please throw me a dab.

There's another one. Hi, Lauren Paul and Scott. This is Becca from Milwaukee. please throw me a dab. Here's another. Hi, Lauren Paul and Scott. This is Becca from Milwaukee. When I was about six or seven, my teenage cousin told me that people with flat feet cannot serve in the military because they are very ticklish. And if they were captured, the enemy soldiers could just

tickle them until they revealed US military secrets. I believe this for a very long time. I think it was in middle school before I finally realized it was alive. It's not that long. My question for you is, what is something silly that you believe when you work kid or something that you may be briefly fell for as an adult that you really should have known better? And I love the show. Bye. Oh my God. I feel like I have so many. I know. But I can't think of one, you know. I remember for me, a humiliating moment was getting an argument with a classmate when I was in eighth grade

that England and Great Britain were two separate places. That's great. And then had to go in front of the class, like we were arguing and the teacher called us up and said, what are you guys talking about? And I was like, she thinks Great Britain and England are the same country. And then I had to,

I was made a spectacle of in front of the cloud. Yeah, perfect. Yeah, yeah. I can't think of one enough to top my head, but I've definitely made many, many mistakes in my life when I have lots of regret. Would you like to apologize? I'm really sorry for everything wrong I ever did.

I forget what I heard talking about. This kind of, I love this kind of thing where it was somebody was talking about podcast about a thing that they were told when they were growing up that there was this, there was like a pool that had sharks in it. And you had to go like retrieve something, something for the pool. I don't know, it was like something that's so fantastical and it wasn't until he was relating this to he realized, oh, what about the pool with all the sharks? Like this is really, there's a really dangerous thing in my hometown.

Right, right, right. Yeah, like those kind of lies. I mean, yeah. I don't have anything like that. Other than, you've always understood everything and you've always known what's real. I feel like other than like sex, when you're first learning about sex stuff in like slang terms, I remember someone talking about someone's bush for a while.

And I was like, what are they talking about? And someone said, oh, it's when you drag someone into a bush and you kiss them. I thought that's what it was like, oh, okay. She gives funny gives great bush. All right. here is another one hi pretzel gang this is keely um i wanted to know if you guys could swap hairstyles with any famous person real or fictional oh fictional and why hmm bye my God, there's so many women who have amazing hair. Yeah. The Rachel. I would love the Rachel. I'm saying. Yeah. I think we probably all get the Rachel.

Probably the Rachel. Um, I've, I always hate having wavy hair. So I was always so jealous of people with like straight hair, like your Tom cruises or Alec Ballad. I always was too. Who could like do all these, you know, the fact that Tom cruise got to have different haircuts and all the mission impossible. Like, oh, he can have long hair and it doesn't look ridiculous or he can do, he can shave his head, you know, it was always very, I was always very jealous of that. I, my hair has lost a lot of its, it's wave. I used to have, my hair was like, almost like curly. And now it's much straighter. You're like Tom Cruise now.

You're this generation's Tom Cruise. Yeah, I mean, not if people are saying it that yes, fine. Yeah. Who's got hair that I really... Oh, you know who I noticed had really good hair at an interview? You. Riley Keele.

Oh, yeah. Is she's just like nice, thick, long hair. Who is, she's related to Elvis, isn't she? Yeah, she's great granddaughter. Or no, granddaughter. Granddaughter. She's Lisa Marie's daughter. Yeah.

She has great hair. She, I just noticed it in an interview. I had never really seen her anything. I was watching her on like set my hair or something. I don't know what show, Fallon. And it just was so pretty. It's that my- I would swap hair with Lauren.

Yeah, that would look good on you. It would have to be a swap though. You'd have to take mine. Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I cut my hair like chin length, and then when I was little I also had that same. But like when I get high school is when I did that again. And I had it like that for, or like kind of like mid neck for a while and just never brushed it. And it was just wavy and like did whatever it did.

I liked it. Yeah, it was a very low maintenance as a person. Well, yeah, then I let it grow. And then I was like, yeah. Yeah. Do you have outfits where you're like, oh, I only have five minutes before I have to leave? Do you have like classes of outfits where it's like,

oh, I have a half hour, I can wear anything or oh shit. This is what I wear when I only have five minutes. Are you asking because of what I'm wearing now? Oh, he's yawning, but it's almost left. No one knows it. Okay. And who knows? He was laughing.

And farting. Yeah, I'm throwing up. Thank you. But it's, you know, I just throw, I just kind of probably wear it where yesterday if that happened in that situation. Oh, yeah. You know, what about you? Do you?

Yeah, there's like shortcuts you can take. There are shortcuts. I wear yellow bikini. What is that the same thing? No, it's okay. All right, well, but shorts. Look, we're at a time for this. Okay.

We got to go. Lauren, I know you have to personally. I do have to go. Listen, if you want to leave us a voicemail, call us at Hag claims eight. If you would like to send us a fun feature to play, right? To us at three to me, us a gmail.com. And if you'd like to hear ad free versions of the show, go to stitchupremium.com or CBB world.com. We love you. We'll look, we love you. You're our pissed. We love you. We'll never stop loving you.

We also grab a ticket to my show on June 11th. It's my next installment of a very good time. Cast TBD. Steel a ticket. Don't steal it. And you can watch on the live stream. Here's what you do. If there's two of you have one person go and then they open the back door. That's fine. Philadelphia, of Riatopia is coming to underground arts in your city. So please come out and see that.

It's going to be a lot of fun. Friday and Saturday, the 16th, the 70th of June tickets are available at pulluptunctions.com slash live. I have nothing. Oh, the book by the company being booked. You have a lot. You have a lot, man. I'm tired of talking about it. But it's too early. I would love to people bought the book. Cause I think everyone who's bought it has really liked it. So. That's nice.

It turned out great. Yeah. All right. Good. All right. Good. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. you