Threedom - Introducing: The Sarah Silverman Podcast

Episode Date: September 2, 2024

We’re excited to drop in your feed today to tell you about one of our favorite shows: The Sarah Silverman Podcast! On her show, Sarah shares her thoughts and musings on anything and everything under the sun. No topic is off limits, from politics to the rampant overuse of cologne. Listener voicemails dictate the trajectory of the show, but Sarah’s always driving. Yes, things will get weird. But weird is her sweet spot.  In this episode, Sarah attempts a listener's suggestion to pee sitting backwards. Plus, she enjoys some titillating Bible verses, decides whether a caller is overreacting about a Jewish joke, and gives hope to a heartbroken caller who worries she’s lost her nephew forever. If you like this episode, head to The Sarah Silverman Podcast wherever you get your podcasts or https://lemonada.lnk.to/sarahsilvermanfd. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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in high-risk patients. The Coligard test is available by prescription only. Hey everybody, it's your old pal, Sarah. I am going on tour in the fall. You can buy tickets on my, the link in my Instagram bio for Postmortem. That's the name of the tour, Postmortem Tour. Few shows in September and then October through February 1st. Boom, boom, boom. I'll be in a city near you. In regards to the caller who suggested peeing,

sitting down, facing the toilet. I thought it was a brilliant idea and, uh, when to try it. That's why I was, I was five minutes late today because as I was leaving, I went, Oh, fuck, I meant to try that. And I had to pee anyway. And, uh, I did it, but, and it was great. Worked great. But here's the caveat Here's the thing I didn't anticipate which of course is

obvious now that I that I've done it um I Couldn't just pull down my pants in my underwear. I had to take them off Which meant I had to also remove my shoes So not wildly convenient, and're like, Sarah no, but he's really was talking about like in the middle of the night. Yeah, I mean unless you sleep naked, you still got to like take off your your pajama bottoms or your underwear or whatever. Not complaining, just saying there is a little extra thing to do in order to do that.

But it went well. I took a couple snaps actually. I don't know what for, just in case we needed, in case I had to prove it. And that's that. Let's take some calls. You left me a message, now I'm playing it for the world. Let's hear some voicemails. Hi, Sarah. My name is Dave from Southern California. I love how insightful you are with just humans, actually mammals in general. I'm thinking of your squirrel stand up bit, which I love. I've just gone through a significant amount of loss in my life over the last six years.

I've lost eight people and my dog, including my mom was my last loss about a year ago. She died in my living room. I cared for her for a couple of years. So sorry. And it's really kind of blown up my life in a lot of ways. And my relationship ended. I just realized I wasn't being seen or supported in a way that really allowed me to really kind of just figure out who the hell I am. Because it seems like whenever somebody dies,

a part of you dies with them. So I'm kind of trying to rediscover who I am. And I was wondering, given that you lost both your parents so close together, how that's impacted your relationships, not, you know, specifically just with Rory, but just in general. Thanks so much. Love you. I'm so sorry for all your losses. And, I totally understand that that that kind of identity crisis Who am I without them? I? Would say you know in Good and bad ways. Oh, I'm trying not to put good or bad onto things in in ways Yeah, I Relate. Yeah, it it's, you know, one is that when I have stumbles

in my relationship with Rory, or we argue or whatever, I can't talk to my parents about it. And I used to do that. You know, they, I used to, we were very close. So I used to talk to my parents about problems and stuff. But I have my sisters, and by the way, my three sisters, we all went through that loss together. And also Rory also really knew them and loved them, which I feel so grateful for. But I guess when I'm low or when I've done something exciting, when I have something braggy, I'm dying to tell someone, I told my parents. That's who you tell that stuff to. You know, I remember having a boyfriend and we had a

mutual friend who was very, very braggy and it would drive my boyfriend at the time crazy. And I would say, but he, both his parents had died when he was young and I was like, he doesn't have parents for that. We have parents for that, that braggy stuff where we can call and go, guess who I had dinner with or I won this or whatever or whatever whatever that kind of stuff that Your friends don't need to hear about it your sisters don't need to hear about it the public you know you don't it's braggy stuff and

That's free. That's special for your parents. You know because they they get nachos out of that. Yeah, I think I said that right That stuff that I would only tell my parents, yeah, that feels awful. I just ache for them. But it's not the worst ache, you know, because it's also a reminder of these amazing people that I got to have in my life for so long who knew me when I was just only little, you know? And again, it's been lovely in that Rory really got to know them and he misses them too and he saw the relationship I had with them and the dynamic of the family

and how they were the center of it. And he has so much empathy for this loss. And it's just really nice to be with someone who knew them. You know, I wish he knew my mom and my stepdad, John O'Hara, but this is life, baby. Death and taxes, the only two guaranteed things, or at least death. Anyway, what else? Hi, Sarah. My name's Sam. I'm from the great state of Vermont by way of New Jersey.

I love Vermont. My question for you is, why do you think society punishes, hates, tries to silence outspoken, opinionated women, either single women, childless women, or both. You've been a champion of that for a long time and I really appreciate it. I'm just trying to grapple with it and I love to hear your advice on things. Thank you. Love you. It's a thing, isn't it? It's a real thing.

And boy, the single aspect is very interesting because when I've been single in particular, I've been threatened and attacked much more in the public sphere than when I have a to be heteronormative male counterpart. It's interesting, my dad was kind of that as well, you know, and I'm thinking about, I don't remember when this was years ago. I was single at the time and a rabbi, some orthodox rabbi wrote some essay or op-ed or some shit about how I should stop being politically active and that my public voice should be no more and if I had a family and I was married and had children to take care of, I wouldn't have this itch to scratch where I voice my opinions publicly

and blah, blah, blah. And I would have never seen it. But my dad, of course, having a Google alert on my name, did see it and wrote back in the comments underneath. And somehow it got like picked up in the press how my dad came to my defense and it was kind of a sloppy, angry comment he wrote, but it was just a lovely, adorable, not beautifully written but very passionate response defending his daughter. And boy, whatever religion it is, they seem to, I've been definitely come at because remember there was that pastor in Florida on YouTube who told his congregation it would be God's will if somebody knocked my teeth out and killed me. You know, the beauty of religion religion it's just so beautiful

anyway Yes, I agree. I've experienced it. I'm sure you have too and Yet we persevere there you go. What else? Hi Sarah, it's your best friend Anna in Switzerland. You can probably hear the bird singing behind me Anna in Switzerland. You can probably hear the birds singing behind me, very Swiss. I was just wondering if there was ever a time when you thought you wouldn't meet your person. I know you're so happy with Rory and that gives us all hope out there, those of us who haven't found our person. So I was just wondering if there was a time maybe between partners where you thought, ah maybe it's not going to happen for me. And whether you made peace with that. Um, I'm just struggling with that feeling at the moment.

So any advice you have would be much appreciated. Okay. Love you. Bye. Yes, absolutely is my answer. But my advice is this, find your person in you. It wasn't until I felt sure I would never live with a man again and I felt secure in maybe I would not find my person, but I really fell in love with hanging out with this guy. I'm pointing to myself with my thumb. I love being alone. I'm not afraid of being alone.

These are things that have not always been how it's been for me, but I really learned how to love being alone, so much so that when I met my person, I really didn't want to give that up. And it took a long time for me to get back in it and, you know, live with a person and share my life. But in terms of finding your person, which I feel I've done with Roar, Roar, I think the best way to find your person is to fall in love with being alone and fortifying, nourishing friendships and nourishing your time with yourself. I think that taking the time to fall in love with being alone and all the freedom that comes with it, you're gonna find your person because you won't be looking for someone to not be alone with. You'll be looking for someone that is additive,

additive to your life, to an already full, complete, whole life. And I think that's the best kind of relationship, you know? And you're at a place, hopefully, where you know what you don't want in a relationship, you know what you want in a relationship. And as things get more and more serious with someone, you can really negotiate those things and have things that are non-negotiable. And you won't be too afraid to be alone, to wait for the right person. Good luck. Here's some ads.

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recipes to promote better living, available to buy now wherever books are sold. And we're back. Hey friends, I would just like to clarify something on the topic of God coming in one's mouth. So I was raised Southern Baptist by a preacher actually, and I'm going to try and go about this in a way I think he would. So there are several verses in the Bible that actually refer to the church, meaning Christians, as the bride of Christ. There's Ephesians chapter 5, 25, husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church. There's also 2 Corinthians 11, verse 2, Revelations 19, 7 through 9, Revelations 21, 1 through

2. There's also Revelations 22, 20, which says, surely I am coming soon, in quotes, and then, amen, come Lord Jesus. So, we've got that. In Ephesians, chapter 5, 22, wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Then we're going to skip ahead to 29, for no one ever hated his own flesh But nourishes and cherishes it just as Christ as the church because we are members Members of his body Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh man and wife become one

God and the church become one flesh. Man and wife become one. God and the church become one." What we're essentially hearing described is a spiritual, sexual or a buros, meaning God wants us to come in our own mouths. Hope this helps. It doesn't. But that's a great call because, first of all, your interpretation of these Bible verses is not the craziest interpretation I've ever heard of the Bible, certainly. And I think what it does help is it helps to prove that the Bible or any Bible, the Torah, the Koran, whatever, is art, more than doctrine or I don't know if I used the right word, but it's art in that it is to be interpreted for meaning and none of it has just one meaning. It means what it means to you. Art, that's art, that's what art is.

You know, it's not an insult to the Bible or the Torah or the Koran, etc., but it's art. And art is crucial to our well-being, to living the best life, to be used as a guide where it may help, and to disregard it in places where it's bullshit. You know, it should only serve you. I'm sure, of course, many people would disagree, and that's fine too because it's art. But there are going to be places where you, even if you, you know, are a big time Christian who loves the Bible or whatever, you're going to, there are going to be places where you, even if you are a big time Christian who loves the Bible or whatever, there are going to be places that you disregard.

Like man not lying with man, that's bullshit, right? Or it being blasphemy to eat shellfish. I think a lot of God-loving, God-fearing Christians eat shellfish. Just like Jews do, it's traif, right? We make our own choices, we make our own religion, to a degree. All this to say, stop fucking with other people's lives. It's your business.

Jesus Christ. The right is just amazing to me. Their whole basis for existing is to get big government out of their lives, and damn it if they don't want to control ours. I mean, our bodies, our choices, where we put our dicks and pussies what we rub them against That's fucking personal shit. It's none of your business. Certainly not the business of the government, but These people that want the government out of their lives really want it in our pants All right, yeah

It's art the reader decides not the nerds who wrote it a zillion years ago. Art. All right. What else? Hi, Sarah. This is Karen. I know. It used to be a name I loved. I wanted your opinion about something. I went to see a pretty famous comedian do a stand up and I've loved this guy love this guy I don't know I want to hear what you think if I'm overreacting in the middle of his act he was doing a bit about his grandfather going senile and confusing him the comedian with an old business partner of the grandfather. And so every time he saw him, the grandfather would confront him about, you know, what are you doing stealing my business?

And in the middle of one of these tirades, he had his grandfather say, what are you going to do? Jew me down. And he didn't pause after saying that very racist thing or look at the audience or in any way acknowledge he just said something racist. Nor did he have the grandfather be a racist old man. Like it wasn't like he said a bunch of racist things and that was one of them. He said it like it was a normal okay thing for two professionals to be saying to each other when confronting over business. And it made my stomachs ache. But that's my question.

Am I overreacting? I'm sorry. I'm smiling because I know exactly the comic you're talking about and I love that bit. It's beyond genius. I understand how you feel and listen, I grew up in New Hampshire where Jew me down. There were no Jews anywhere, but people said, Jew me down a lot. And it cut me, you know, especially because it wasn't with love. It wasn't said by a Jew. You know, it wasn't said by an ally to Jews. It was just like what kids learned from their parents

and used in language. And I did say something in high school, at my high school actually. I didn't report it to like teachers. I like went up at assembly and did a whole bit because sometimes I would like do jokes. I had, it was a pretty cool school. They let me do a little stand up every couple minutes here and there, sometimes at assembly. And this one took a turn and I was like, it was funny and then it said like, Jumi down is not a fucking,

whatever I didn't say fucking, but I said something like mentioning it and all of a sudden everyone was quiet. And I think it was good actually. Anyway, I know the comic you're talking about. And he is not Jewish, but he is a friend of the Jews and I love him. And listen, I'm not going to say, hey, you're overreacting. You took this in in a moment where whatever you were feeling, you were feeling, you know. And that's art as well.

You can see the same thing every day and have different experiences, depending on what's going on in the world around you, depending on what's going on inside your heart and mind. So that could be an element of it. You may have been feeling sensitive. Or maybe this is just really how you feel and then that's also fine. Comedy is wildly subjective. I saw that whole bit not long ago. I saw him do it live and I thought it was brilliant. And I thought it was to me it was very clear that his grandfather was from a very different time.

He also mentions he was very, very, very old. He comes from like, I think he was in World War I or something, I don't know. Somehow he had an extremely old grandfather who died when he was young of old age. And he was in dementia. And I would have heard that funny. It always matters who's saying it and what their heart and soul that transcends through their material tells you about it. And to me, he's not Jewish, but he is, you know, not anti-Semitic. And

I loved it. I thought it was totally brilliant. And you'll all be seeing it soon, I'm sure, when he does his special. But yeah, you know, we had different takes from it. I get it. I hear you. And but I'm not going to tell you you're overreacting. You reacted the way you reacted. But you might hear it in another maybe time in history where like everything isn't terrifying as a Jew in America, certainly a liberal Jew in America. You might hear it differently. I don't know, but I loved it. I know exactly who you're talking about. All right. What else?

Hi, Sarah. This is Serena, fellow Jewess in the Midwest. I have a question for you. I've heard you speak a few times now about the fact that you're trying to work on the fact that you interrupt people and I Do that as well and I'd always thought oh it's because I lose my train of thought so Quickly and so often and one of those people who can't get it back that I want to get my info out before I can you know lose it forever. Before you forget it, yes that's what it is. I know it's rude and I always kind of excused it for myself but I was reading something just yesterday that said it's a symptom potentially of PTSD as well as people who pick or scratch at their skin or nails. There were a few other examples

which makes me really examine that as a possibility. I don't know if that would be a possibility for you but it's something I'm really exploring and would really like to hear what you think. Especially since October 7th, my stress level has been really high, so I'm kind of looking at all potential ways to fix it. Thanks. Love you. Bye-bye. That's very interesting. I wonder if there's a part of me that's like, is she thinking of ADHD? Which would thoroughly make more sense to me of why someone would interrupt.

I don't know why I do it. I absolutely relate to the, I'm going to lose this thought if I don't come in right now, aspect of it. But that's just because I feel like I am losing my mind, which I'm told is a symptom of menopause and will eventually, this intense, ridiculous, dementia-like brain fog will lift. PTSD, like I wonder what kind of PTSD specifically, or is it just in general, anyone who has it interrupts people?

There's something else that reminded me of that I wanted to say, but I lost it because I didn't interrupt you to say it. Here's some ads. This message is brought to you by the Cologuard test. Cologuard is a one-of-a-kind way to feel more in control of your colon cancer screening through a use at home test with none of the prep that's required of a colonoscopy.

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Any positive results should be followed by a colonoscopy, not a replacement for colonoscopy in high-risk patients. The Colologuard test is available by prescription only. Hey Lauren. What? This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. I know because the back to school season is a time for fresh starts and new opportunities. You know because of that? Yep, it's the perfect chance to explore new hobbies, revisit old passions, or simply enjoy learning something new, which I don't know if you've ever done. I don't think so, I stopped around seven. I will say- I think it was like, I think you know, birdy dirt, dirty worms, something like that, yeah.

One thing I did wanna say though, Lauren, if you would please be quiet for one second. Sure. If you're finding it tough to get inspired, BetterHelp can help. Their licensed therapists offer support in navigating interests, overcoming obstacles, and finding joy! But therapy isn't just about tackling problems. It's also about personal growth, building confidence, and discovering your potential.

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but me and my spouse lost our unit in California, so we had to move to Iowa, unfortunately, for their families out here. So we were able to rent the house from them. Anyways, I came out as queer about six years ago, probably more. My mom and my sister did not handle it well. They were really cruel. But my dad always had my back. And then my spouse came out as non-binary transmasculine, and right now they're in

California recovering from top surgery, and I've never seen them so happy. And I love that for them because they're amazing. But I'm incredibly heartbroken and alone. Since my parents went through a divorce. I'm just a bit really high and my mom and my sister I'm touches of it really high and my mom and my sister Coming out from my sweet nephew I'm so close to

easy Because I'm toxic and drama Do anything But defend myself So I'm sending many of nephew a gift and I don't even know if it's gonna make it to him. But I'm writing in a journal because like for him to tell him everything from my side. Because I do believe when he gets older he's gonna reach out to me and wonder why I just disappeared. I'm afraid he thinks that I just stopped caring and just stopped trying to talk to him.

I'm afraid he thinks I just abandoned him. I was hoping that you'd have some words of encouragement. I really value the way you look at things. And maybe you could make me see it in a different way. I'm just really desperate for some words of encouragement or something. I don't know. Oh, baby Thank you so much for having this platform and just

Always been so caring. I just I am so glad I found this podcast. I've always been a fan Also another thing I also pull out my pubes in the shower and they're straight and Anyways, just another person. Okay, thank you. First of all, the end of that call is hilarious, especially if somebody is listening to it that does not know the context of that. Okay, soul sister in terms of that. But the bulk of your call, let's talk about that. I'm so sorry and I can hear how much pain you're in, how frustrating that must be.

And I know when you called, you were in it. You know, you were really in it. And that maybe there may be other times where you have a little more perspective and you can see a bigger picture. But boy, that sucks. And all I can tell you is I think your nephew is going to grow up. And before you know it, you're going to be connected and you'll it's not gonna feel that frustrating feeling of of the what-if What if they're filling his head with this? What if he thinks this what if he thinks I abandoned him? That's all stuff. It could be true

but there is not anything you can do about it right now and you just have to hope he grows up and has the tools to become his own individual person, and I bet he will. He's got your genes, your mom and your sister. That is so sad. It's sad for you. It's really sad for them. That's just closed-minded, short-sighted stuff there, and you can't.

That's just who they are, or it's who they are right now. I'm so happy your dad has your back and that you have a closeness with him. That's huge. That's a big, big win to have that person. And your partner, that you have this amazing partner that you adore and support who supports you, another huge win, huge. These are blessings to count. Maybe your mom and your sister will come around. Maybe they won't. But be grateful that you are living your authentic self. You're with a partner who's also doing so. And you have friends who love you, I'm sure, and the family that you make, your mishpoka, and your dad. You know, I get in bed at night and I'm not saying, oh, you're so ungrateful. I'm just trying to give you, like you said, some kind of perspective to be able to go, oh, thank

goodness. You know, like I get in bed these days and I am, I just think I am so grateful just to be warm and dry. You know, and then beyond that, so many things, so many things I'm grateful for, but really at the root of it, just not being cold or wet is really big for me. I don't know why I'm just so grateful for that shit, you know? But you have a lot of things too. And I'm not saying you can't be upset about your mom and your sister and them holding your nephew from you. But time is longer than you think. It's short and it's really long if you let it, you know,

life. And before you know it, your nephew is going to be a person who decides who he has connections with and talks to. And I love that you're keeping a journal and that even if your journal is to him, you know, in addition to your own stuff, you know, but something you can kind of give him, you know, not just to say your side, but just to be expressing the tabs you're keeping on him, the bottomless infinite love you have for him and how you are biding your time for as long as it takes to be able to reconnect with him. And I think you're doing it right. And cry if you need to cry. Crying is good. It's healthy. It's your body working. And I wish I could give you a hug. Oh, I would give you such a hug. I'm

really good at it. All right, what else? Hey, Sarah, it's your friend Michael from Western Massachusetts. I'm calling in because the year was 1993 or 4 and I was working briefly at the Late Show with David Letterman and your sister Laura was backstage with Jonathan Katz who was going to be a guest and I got introduced to her and Jonathan Katz's wife said, oh, he's cute and Laura nodded and I froze. And I know it was what, 93 was 30 years ago. But I'm available and I'm just wondering if Laura is. Okay, thanks. See ya. Love ya. Well, thanks for calling in, Michael. And I'm definitely going to play this question for Laura, but I have terrible news for you. She is married to the greatest guy. You're probably a great guy too. This could have been a really good meet cute. I'm sorry it isn't,

but oh that's really, that's lovely. I'll pass that on to her. Sorry and thank you. That's lovely. I'll pass that on to her. Sorry and thank you. I bet you'll find someone wonderful. She met her husband on Bumble, just saying. Lots of great people out there, especially women. I have a list of single friends in my phone that I keep. The list of amazing, amazing women is so long. And the list of amazing single men

is so short. All right, what else? Hey, Sarah, it's your friend, Kristen, from Baltimore. I just heard my initial voicemail on your program, most recent program. So thank you so much. I appreciate you taking the time to respond to it. My initial voicemail was regarding being unemployed for almost six months and unemployment almost running out, feeling very rejected, feeling very down. But I am happy to report that I was able to land an amazing job at the beginning of May. It definitely fits my skills, my needs, and surprisingly aligns with my values

really well. So you you know, even though I didn't hear your response until after I was employed, I just want to let, you know, other callers know that it is important to stay resilient. It's really important to just keep plugging along. That's really the only way we're all going to be successful, right? We just keep doing what we need to do. So thank you again. Good luck to those job seekers out there. I know how tough it is, but keep it up. Keep your head up.

I know it's easier said than done, but it is possible. So thank you again, Sarah. Love you so much. Kristen from Be More. I'm so fucking happy for you. Thank you. And thank you for calling in. I always want to know what happened, you know.

That's such great news. I'm psyched. Congratulations. What else? Hey, Sarah. I sort of remember leaving you a message about a year ago. I was in the process of hitting rock bottom Binging on alcohol prescription drugs and other recreational drugs For some reason I thought that would be the perfect moment to call you up

Anyway, I'm calling to share that I've just celebrated my first year of being completely sober. I never thought I would be capable of becoming clean, so I wanted to let others who may be struggling with sobriety know that it actually is possible. Thank you for always being there with a non-judgmental attitude and love for your fans. Oh, and every day after I walk my dogs, I sing to them, Cookie party, cookie party, cookie party. Hey.

Thanks. Bye. Aw, that was Justin Roiland wrote that. Hey, I am so fucking happy for you and I am so proud of you. I mean, we don't always do what's best for us even if we know we're gonna be happier and healthier because it's just not what's familiar and it's not how we've ever coped.

And I'm just fucking so proud of you. You know, I have a very, very close relative who just celebrated four years sober. I've never seen her this happy and thrive this much. It's just the ticket for her. And it sounds like it's just the ticket for you and I'm sssss. And just fucking kick ass, man. That's just awesome. Dad, wherever you are, we are winding down. This is the part of the podcast when I say, send me your questions. Go to speakpipe.com slash the Sarah Silverman podcast. That's speakpipe.com slash the Sarah Silverman podcast. And subscribe, rate, and review wherever you listen to podcasts. And there's more of the Sarah Silverman podcast with Lemonada Premium.

Subscribers get exclusive access to bonus questions like one from a guy who wonders if he should use a pen name for his controversial new book. Subscribe now at Apple Podcasts. Thank you for listening to the Sarah Silverman podcast. name for his controversial new book. Subscribe now at Apple podcasts. Thank you for listening to the Sarah Silverman podcast. We are a production of Lemonada Media. Katherine Barnes and Isabella Culcarni produce our show. Our mix is by James Sparber. The show is recorded at the Invisible Studios in West Hollywood. Charles Carroll is a recording engineer. Additional lemonada support from Steve Nelson,

Stephanie Whittles Wax, and Jessica Cordova-Cramer. Our theme was composed by Ben Folds. You can find me at at Sarah Kate Silverman on Instagram. Follow the Sarah Silverman podcast wherever you get your podcasts or listen ad free on Amazon Music with your Prime membership. Hi everyone, Gloria Riviera here and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's childcare crisis. This season we're delving deep into five critical

issues facing our country through the lens of childcare, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that childcare is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life. Season four of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now, wherever you get your podcasts. What do weddings, Instagram, and toxic relationships all have in common? They take your money and you can't get it back.

16 grand, somewhere in there, gone. There's no legal solution for the fact that you married an asshole. Welcome to The Dough, I'm X-Mayo. We're diving into the stories surrounding the moola baby. The good, the bad and the unexpected. Yeah, we talking about it all. The Dough is out now, wherever you get your podcasts.