Threedom - Legally Blob

Episode Date: April 27, 2023

Lauren, Paul and Scott discuss rideshare ratings, standing ovations, and play a new Threeture: The Titular Game. Get your very own "The Wearer Believes" t-shirt at podswag.com/threedom. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

Freedom Oh Fire You hear that? I heard someone yelling fire they said help in a fire I'm out of theater. We're in a movie theater people hate that we do this by the way in a movie theater Yes, while a movie's guy has anyone we do this by the way in a movie theater. Yes While a movie is guy has anyone ever heard the movie? I was wonder that no we take it Pisspigs can you hear the movie? We take it out of post but if any Pisspig can hear the movie that's playing in the background If anyone can identify the movie yes, that's playing and if you can hear who's yelling at us to be quiet

Let us know because tell them to shut the fuck up. Yeah. Call them and tell them. Call them, yeah. Call them, yeah. Then text them at least. At least, text for you to shut the fuck up. At least, at the very least, and urgent email. At the very least, a letter by mail.

Snail, no? Snail, no. Snails. Snails, man. Remember the first time you ever ate snails. Yeah. Do you think there's any postal worker whose last name is Snail? Yeah, probably.

I hope so. That would be awesome. That would be so awesome to be like Fred Snail. I delivered the mail. Yeah, so I've heard it all before. Yeah, yeah. Snail, please. But I'm gonna get tiresome lonely.

I forgot everything you said. I would you ever work at the post office? Sometimes I think. Sometimes I think it could be a mail carrier. Yeah, I think you could be one of those annoying ladies at the counter. I could definitely be like really mean at the counter. No, I think working at the post office would be one thing that might be, might be a here, but what is the thing?

I sometimes do think about being a male carrier. Because I, well, there's something kind of nice about it. It's like Harkens back to an earlier time. I love dog barking. I do think about the dog though. Like having a bag of treats, you get the dog, so shut the fuck up. Doesn't it Harken back to an earlier time?

It Harkens back to an earlier time. At one point, it doesn't go away. God, I don't know. Male? Yeah. Not anytime soon. Next, I think by June. You think by June, Fred Snail is out of a job?

Yeah, that's stressful. You also, I would say, ma'am, that's for Fred Snail. Male carriers, great calves. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm already there. Check these baby. Stop, stop, stop, I'm overwhelmed.

Oh my God, one of my lift drivers in Portland was like, yeah, well, the lift CEO stepping out on Monday, so this job's gonna change a lot. I'm like, is this all, any of this true? It didn't seem true at all. The lift CEO's stepping down, and so everything's gonna be different. Yeah, I know, tell him to shut the phone.

Really random. I'm not talking. I'm not talking to you anymore. What did you want to say about your nude calf? I got a nude calf. I got a nude calf. I'm on wiki feet today because I'm not wearing socks. Oh my, are you on wiki feet?

I don't know. I don't know. I'm on wiki feet today because I'm not wearing socks. I'm gonna post pictures of your feet and my stories right now. No! No! Oh! Wait a second, we were talking about things and it made me think of a thing to talk about.

But now let's go back. I can't think of a thing. We are on there. Fred Snail. I'm sorry to everyone. Caves. Lift. That's what I wanted to talk about.

We, now Lauren and I discuss this with Brian Safi and Arden Riem. Oh, yeah. On their podcast, well, we have discussed it. It's about Uber. About Uber, you're Uber rating. Yeah. And mine is, So they were always on Brian and Arden's podcast. How do you know what,

No, not a bass please. Which is a really hilarious podcast that I highly recommend. Really fun. They talk to the guests at the top. Nice to meet you. I do have a solid figure for you. I am, they talk to the guests at the top and then they do improv with the guest.

And it's always like a bad day. And the listener suggest bad dates, lines, things that we said. Things they actually heard on a bad date. Which is so crazy. Some of the things that are so funny. And it's great. But you guys were talking, I was dying

because you guys were talking about your Uber readings and then everyone was lower than they expected it to be. How do you see that? I've never seen this. Go to the river. We should, I think should have revealed it now. So I went and looked at mine and then I had to send my number because-

So we were all three of us were under 5.0, which is- Five is the best? Yeah, five stars. How do you- Okay, I'm on it. I went to- And then my-

And click account in the bottom right. Oh, God. Mine is five stars. And so I had to brag because I was a perfect five. Oh, so jealous. Mine's 4.93. so I had to brag because I was a perfect five. Oh so jealous. Mine's 4.93. What'd you do? Whoa, 4.93?

Is that bad? No, that's really good. Mine's 4.85. I just wonder what the fuck? Oh. I tip these guys every time. I get the five stars every time. No matter why, I never don't give five stars.

Never. The one thing that happened to me that I think probably dinged me down is I got an Uber to the Hollywood Bowl last year and the guy got really mad because there was so much traffic and he started taking it out on me and he's like, I'm going to get off the freeway, I'm going to go the other way on the freeway, I go, it's just as busy the other way. It's just going to waste time and he's getting very mad at me. You might have given you a four stars at that point and that brought on your average.

Yeah. But I mean, I don't, I've never had, I can't remember having an incident like maybe me. On 43rd Street. I don't know, what is it? It's a song. It's a song. Miracle.

Miracle on 34th Street. Not incident. 57th Street, sorry, Bruce Springsteen. Oh, Bruce Springsteen. It's incident on 57th Street. Was that his 8,000th song? He wrote a so specific and random sounding. Let's hear a little bit of...

It's specific yet vague. You can around as long as I have things to happen. Sometimes you have incidents. On 57th Street. I've filled out in the street and everybody laughed at me. Did you see that? Did you see that? He does yield part?

He does yield part? Oh, he has this leprechaun that plays with him sometimes on tour. Yeah, it's a bit hot to fall. But only on tour. So it's only on live tour. This is a live track then, because that's how you know. Because he brings them around on tour, because it's kind of like a, he dances. Hey, you know what I got with me tonight?

Who is it? I think you know the LAPRICAL. The DEMON-A-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R-R- upper content is. Is your Uber Eats rating the same as your regular? On Uber Eats on a 10 point. Do you get rated on Uber Eats just for accepting food? Oh, be funny. This guy's a real pig. She ordered too much. He eats garbage. He has to weigh himself. What's this guy going to pay by the pound? De-de-de-de-de-de-de-, Dada, Dada, Dada. Now Paul and Lauren are both on their phones. And I'm left holding the bag. What are you guys texting each other? Yeah.

We're talking about you and I'm gonna answer you. We're not answering you. Oh my gosh, thank you so much. I said, how fast would you be here than I expected? That's true, we weren't saying I was answering you. Wait, you're saying how handsome I am. One out of five. One star. You got dinged because you made us go into traffic. Oh, ding was handsome. Wait, you're saying how handsome am I in? One out of five. One star.

You got dinged because you made us go into traffic. Oh, ding, ding. But come on man, what the fuck did I do? I don't know man. I know, you're just a regular guy trying to hang out in someone's car. It makes me so mad. I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry. No, because I'm on the same level. What does him look at it? Does the do do. Well, because they see it, when you get a driver, it shows you their stars. And so I assume they see your stars. I don't even look at it. Just do do. Well, because they see it when you get a driver, it shows you their stars. And so I assume they see your stars. I don't even look at them.

Yeah, I think they do. And then I've had people cancel on me, but I assume it's because them too far away or something. I've had that too. I don't think it's because you're rating. If you had like a two. What if it was, that would be why. Yeah, I thought that would be a three.

4.3, forget it. What do they do last time, probably farted. I value myself. I value myself. I value myself. I value myself. Anyway, guys, if you're an Uber driver, give me my five fucking stars. Yeah, if you're listening right now, and I hope that you are, I pray, otherwise, why are we doing this? Yeah, if you're not listening right now, damn, gotta go. Don't even bother listening to it later. If you're not listening right now, if you're not listening now, you might as well not listen at all. Yeah. Yeah.

Right. I think so. Yeah. Mike and I got in an Uber recently. I thought you're gonna say fight and we fought so hard in it. It was cool. You did that on purpose, right? Yeah. No, we got in this Uber and the driver was listening to a podcast Which typically doesn't really happen. You don't typically get in here. That's rare, yeah, absolutely. I remember how Paul Light Uber drivers were when it first came out and it was always like, do you want some minst, do you want to charge your phone, do you want to listen to your own music? I still get that sometimes.

And now it's like getting the fucking car. No, I still get that sometimes. Do you really? Yeah, they sing it in the fucking car, you know? But I'm the one I say, I'm getting in the fucking car. That's why they put this into the radio. His podcast was like like it was almost like an MPR type thing and maybe it was just MPR I don't know but it was like and they didn't know if they didn't know if there were ghosts in there, but they didn't see one again and they never saw ghosts again.

Like it was like just kind of I would love for you to do a show just like that. Where it was only meant to be listened to in the middle of it. Yeah, yeah. Where there's no context. It's like a fall asleep podcast. Yeah. Yeah.

One time we got into an Uber and the guy was listening to conservative radio. Boo. That feels like you're trying to signal, you're trying to signal them. Yeah, exactly. Message or a scene. And then did you argue with him and gave you the bad rating?

Yeah. See Paul? I said gave you the bad rating? Yeah. See Paul? I said, you're a mindless drone. Just listening to what the MSM tells you. Oh, Lauren. Oh, what are we gonna do with you? Let's take a trip together. Wow, where to?

Yeah, we're sure we're sure. Should we do a kiddie trip? What's that? Where all the kids come? Sure. Yeah, would you be okay? You'd have to dress as a kid. Well, we know what's great for you is to do.

We'll look a big lollipop. Can we just bring a big doll? I think the great thing for probably you could do whatever you want. Yeah. And then we couldn't. So I just walked in and out as I please. Yeah, it would be kind of eyeing.

You guys just stuck in this house, where it is. We could go to Santa Barbara. Whoa. Is that too far? But one moment to Hawaii. I like stayed in the household day. No, Hawaii was great. That was so relaxing. So relax. Let's go there. We should. I would love to be on a trip with a little kid. I would totally go to Hawaii. I can't go to Hawaii with it. You could. I could. That young. Yeah.

It'd be a lot easier now. It is is easier cuz she can't get up and walk she's a dumb blob No, bitch dumb blonde No, but I traveled with The flight's not you know that part's not great, but you get there and then you get there and you know That's why it's not great, but you get there, and then you get there. And you don't care. Yeah, I'm never gonna go anywhere again. Okay, that's your problem.

That's fucking wrong with you. I don't know. Can't wait till 8.30 p.m. Your life's over. It's just over. It's just about me anymore. It's just begun to go. That's true.

And you should enjoy that. And frankly, enjoy it. Isn't that nice? Frankly, it wasn't really that much about you to begin now. I think it's like a recipe about else. Oh, it's a dream. To not be noticed. Just to be not the focus for a little bit.

Let me just. No one looking at you. You can do whatever you want. It's like a enough paparazzi. Yeah, it's like that. And a paparazzi. When the paparazzi comes when I'm with my family, and I'm like, no, don't take pictures of her.

She's like, take pictures of her. Yeah. Basta paparazzi. Basta, basta. Take pictures of her. Put them. Basta paparazzi. Basta, basta. Take pictures of her. Put them in the paper paparazzi. Eh paparazzi, bleee, the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of bag of the bag of the bag of the bag of bag of the bag of bag of the bag of the bag of bag of saw a picture, that's not a picture of the other day, it was so fun. Was that your baby moon? It was, technically it was. I mean, I would like to know.

Did you like have a baby moon? We did, we went to Palm Springs, or I guess it was like, I don't know that it was exactly Palm Springs, but something over there, and just had an Airbnb with like a pool and a hot tub, and it was fun. Two bits.

Yeah, it was just fun. And we brought our cat and our dog and made it a whole thing. Because we're back cat and the dog. Yeah, we have to take a cat for some reason. Well, Scott. No, they don't. I know, I know.

I know, since past. I know, but did it. Those kind of for last hurrah. They did from time to time, but not really. It was more like the more kind of stuck to their own. Cause dogs chase cat. Cat would try to chase the dog. So simple.

Bird chase worm. Let's go. I need more of worms. I'm doing a worm. You know what? I would have a pet if it weren't for the worms. The worms. I can't.

You should just skip the whole deal and get a pet worm because they're hilarious. You know what? You know what? You're not a bird's gonna chase it. Then I've stick here the bird. You're right. You remember the time that I swallowed a fly and then it turned into a whole thing?

I don't know why you swallowed that fly. I hate that song or whatever that is. What is that? What is that? I don't know, but I always hated that growing up. Why do people sing? It's not even a rhyme. Everyone sings the same song. I'm gonna swallow did people sing? I don't know, but I always hated that growing up. Why did people sing? It's not even a rhyme. Everyone sings the same song.

Everyone sings the same song. I mean, who swallowed a fly? I don't know why. I guess he'll die or something. It was a... I heard it as perhaps he'll die. Oh, maybe it's per-hap. I'm just gonna pull it out of my ass right now. That's how you can tell if you're an optimist or a pessimist.

So say it again. Say it. Don't sing it. Who swallowed a fly? I don't know why. She's what. Say it. There was an old woman saying. I don't know why she's what say it. There was an old woman. I don't know why she swallowed a fly Perhaps she'll die. We're the fuck what are we talking about? Why is that a song for kids? Let's swallow the spider what right? Like go to get a job That jiggle and rigger than squiggled inside her She's one of the spines. That's the lie. Hey.

Why was it wriggling inside her? Nasty. Why was it jiggling? That's sick. You know my story where I drank out of Water Polynay, live spider got my back. That's just scar. I think about it a lot.

Yeah. I think about it a lot. Well, have I told you this story? Yes, I'll tell you this. And I think if I told you this before and I've said who it was, I won't say again, just because it's not my story, but it was really funny. My old improv team, we were like standing around

in one of our kitchens. This was like 10 years ago. And someone said they could eat a clementine hole without taking the peel off. Can I tell you this? I'm sure I have. And then he just clapped in his mouth, and we were like, oh my god.

And then he went, he's like, I'll have another one. And he just clapped in his mouth and we were like, oh my god. And then he went he's again I'll have another one and he opened it was black inside Oh, so he hit the one he ate probably was too Yeah, you're all so sure that that tweet on Instagram that was like Chair tweet Instagram How come every time somebody else one of those little oranges they was make you have one too? No, I didn't share that but that's funny. I Love specific shit like that. That's true.

That I never think about. Yeah. I wish someone would do you really? Yeah. I'll bring I'll bring two next time. Can I tell you some of the three? You'll bring tuna. I'll bring tuna.

I'll bring two next time. Can I be great to open up some big cans of tuna right before we start? Oh, I love opening up some big cans of tuna. I love big cans of tuna. I love big cans. Ooh, you know what I love right now? Big cans of tuna. Ooh, sloppy, sloppy.

Push down on that lid, let all the tuna, Earl come up. The cancer, the tuna, Earl. I don't know that term. It's a way that some people pronounce oil. Oh, got it. I'm reading Holly a lot of old golden books from when I was a kid that I still have. You've been doing that too.

Yeah. Yeah. And I was reading one today that I haven't seen that was very cute. It's called Grammung, Grandpa Smith. And it's about the city kids to go to visit their grandparents in the country. But then they get so specific. And maybe this isn't specific and maybe you'll say this is a very common baseball related country. But then they got so specific, and maybe this isn't specific, and maybe you'll say this is a very common baseball related thing.

Can't wait to see. But the thing that was said. baseball related. I was like, I was suddenly very interested. I was reading it, and I was going, wuh, ah,

back in the back. Hey, you. Nah, don't look. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no here. She's like, oh look, here's your dad's old baseball glove. You should play with it. So you use to oil it every day.

Now it's so stiff. And then later it's like, and then Sam oil, the Sam put a lot of neat foot oil on the glove and it got all squishy-gushy or whatever. Squishy-gushy. That's what you want. Neats. You want to put your hand into a baseball glove

and it feel like a pussy. Yeah, good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She's good. She 80s. I read one. What 80s? Yeah, it's mine from I was a kid. Why read a book? Neats Foot Oil. Is it still in business? Shep's Neats Foot Oil. They put a dash in it. But like foot dash oil? Neats Foot Oil.

Foot Oil. It's a yellow oil rendered and purified from the shin bones and feet of cattle. Ew! Neat is the oil game. A comparison. A comparison. In the oil's name comes from an old English word for cattle. Neat is the oil name. In the oil's name comes from Old English word for cattle.

Neats foot oil. Where's the hyphen? They put Neats-foot oil, but it's actually there's no hyphen. Neats-foot, separate word oil. Neats-foot. Okay, Neats-foot. Neats-foot. You were thinking it was foot oil. I was thinking it was some very specific type of thing. I didn't think it was a Needs Foot. And oil fondant. No, I didn't have any thoughts like that. I thought it was a ton. You had no thoughts.

No, none like that. None like that. You just a blank. None like that. It wasn't blank. It just wasn't like what you're thinking. When I read Needs Foot oil, I thought. Needs Foot oil.

It's some old thing that I just don't know what it is. Needs Foot are extinct. Yeah, we probably wouldn't use that today. We'd oil with avocado oil, that's why I can't buy a house. That's right. Well, my whole generation has to live in a studio. That's right.

Because we can't stop eating avocado. Melania. I read a book when I was young. I think it was definitely a lot of time. Oh my God, I'm dragging about this book again. Yeah, it was, it was A, B, something. The Bible? But it was,

I didn't get that, A, B, C. It was A, B, I, B, L, E. It was called A, A, B, Bible. But it was, Apeable. It was, I was gonna watch. I was gonna watch.

I just got my stand goal. I've been sitting here for fucking Dude, by the way, this is three to map. You're usually laying down so they think you sitting up as you standing. Yeah That's grim So I read this book and maybe a listener can identify because I know neither of you But that was really intense. I'm sorry. It was about a, it was about a, okay, he hit his knee on the table.

I know, I saw. Well, they don't know that, because they didn't see. But I know it. So I said it. I know, so I said it. It's real. It's real. So it was, it's like about a 12 year old baby

or a 10 year old who was on a baseball team. And a 12 year old baby on a baseball team. And a 12 year old baby. He's just been a baby for 12 years. He won't stop being a baby. But we're giving him baseballs. We're letting him have hobbies. I think he doesn't have a baseball glove or something.

And then he, then one of his teammates who just got a brand new beautiful glove and signed it with a marker, left it somewhere, and then he, what do you mean he signed it? This is a book here, this is a book here. He like, what is the name on it? Oh yeah. This is a book here reading?

This is a book I was reading. Who do I make this out to? Oh, me. Is this a 10-hage book? With the views resignation, me. So, he steals this glove. No, Thievery. He shouldn't do that because he was bad.

He was a sin. And then in order to disguise the fact that this other kid put his name on it and kidding me. He puts, he does like a pattern in marker of like, like rectangle over the name and then circle and then rectangle circle, rectangle circle all over it. And then he takes it to practice the next day and he's like, oh, I got a new glove

and everyone sees right through it is like, yeah, I was missing. But our friend is missing his glove. And you're not telling me you just did the marker, you know, of this pattern over it, and he was just guilty about it and guilty about it. I forget how it ends. This is a big shoot itself.

I'm truly like, what is this book? I think the name of it was, not you pretending you got a new glove. I'm not you again. It's giving liar vibes. It's giving me liar vibes. Oh, we gotta take a break. Oh, boop. It's giving me liar vibes. Oh, we gotta or a book. Well, I'm gonna, it's kind of a bet both. Oh, is that a bet?

Yeah, no, this is great. Yeah. This was a two book series that told the same series when it's two books. It's a book and it's sequel. No, it wasn't a sequel. Domaz. Because it was the same story told from two different points of view. What?

It's like a fair. It was a Roshamon minus one. Did you guys watch the affair? We did. I loved it. I was really interesting. The last episode is fucking bonkers. Oh, where it has to be. Oh my god. Oh, wearing dances to, oh my God.

I can't remember what happens at the end. He's an old man makeup and he does the wedding dance, the flash mob wedding dance that he choreographed on her grave. Wait, he choreographed a flash mob wedding? You just made this up, right? Nope, nope. When he's young, while Fiona Apple sings

the water boys, that was my used to be like performance. Which she a great doing the full opening of that. She did a great. Oh, that's the affair We talk about the same thing. Yeah, we are Because she's oh because she sings the opening times Yeah, it's a really fun one act out and in them everyone's watching the show Yeah, in the modern I would try to match it exactly when we watch the show. Listen, if you are gonna watch the affair at some point, this is very spoiler heavy, but.

So yeah, skip ahead one minute. So in the present day, as the daughters wetting, he's not allowed, he's not allowed or whatever, but he decides to choreograph this flash mob. This isn't real. It is real. He decides to choreograph a flash mob dance This isn't real. It is real. He just has to choreograph a flash mob dance

to the water boys version. And then in the future, when the world is covered in wider, did I not watch this? When the, I mean, the future when the world is covered in water, he finally goes to his wife's grave or something. And then by himself, he's in terrible old age makeup. Yeah. And he does.

Are we talking about the same show, Lord? I honestly don't know. I've got a missed out of mom season. He does the flash mob dance on her grave. Yes. Literally insane. And that's the end of the. It's not.

I the affairs because I think they they they find out who killed her. I liked. I didn't realize she was murdered. I, I, I'm sorry. What is going on? More attaining it's murdered. I know. No, no, no. To be fair, I never remember anything, but this sounds so insane.

Really what was it? It is insane. Yeah, she was, she was murdered at the end of this. Because she didn't want to be on the show anymore. Yeah. Which I think is honestly like, if you're gonna, if you're gonna say, hey, I don't want to be on the show anymore, you, the worst thing should happen to your character. Yeah, no flashback.

I'm gonna see you say something. I'm gone. I think I watched them all, I'll have to revisit those. That show, I haven't experienced with that show, which is one of those things where it's not the show's fault, because I expected, I thought it was gonna be something different than it was. Which is, I liked the idea of these story

being told from two to four years. That blew my mind when it first happens in the first episode. is I liked the idea of the story being told from two to four years. That blew my mind when it first happens in the first episode. But then it was very important. Because it was the end of the first second or whatever. There's been a murder or whatever. And they're being questioned by the cops. What the fuck is this?

Oh, I loved it. Murder is... I love it. It's why in White Lotus, it's so popular is because I think he wrote it and they were like, put a murder in it and people will like it. Well, because it came people hooked. I think he actually said. they were like, put a murder in a people watch. I think he wants to see what's gonna happen. Yeah, but I don't care. Yeah.

You don't like murders? Only murders in the building. Ah! I did it! We've been waiting, we've been waiting for that moment. Oh, that's not the phrase that pays. That's not, no, that's not the phrase that pays. It is very close to that.

It's their phrase that pays. It's their phrase that pays. Yes. If you watch only their phrase that pays. Yes. If you watch Oly murders and buildings. Yes. So they set it in the first episode. And they pay a million dollars. Yes.

To everyone who ever hears it. That's why they're very careful not to say it anymore. Yeah, but they say it a lot. They say it. And that episode is still up. And you can, you can go this good. You can watch as many times you want. And they have to pay you a million dollars every time you want.

Every time you hear it. Yeah. Um, wait, so you a million dollars every time you hear it. Yeah. Um, wait, you just hear it and suddenly you check. So there was two books. One was, uh, the bully of Barkham Street. Oh, I read this. And the other was a dog on Barkham Street. And so the dog was being bullied.

The dog was the boy. What? It's a dog's perspective. So the first book is this kid gets a dog, and it's like you, this great story, but he also has a bully that's bullying him at school and everything. The second book, does he kill him?

He murders him. And then the cops are questioning him. No, he's a human. Mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, mother, Why didn't she release that as a single? I don't know. I think it's not.

It's 15 seconds. I know. She was ahead of her time. It feels way longer. That's a long one. It's pretty short. But it feels longer. How long does it feel to you?

It feels like it's four and a half minutes. No, that's way too long. My brain's messed up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody took a chunk out of it. half minutes. No, that's way too long. My brain's messed up. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Somebody took a chunk out of it. Oh, yeah. Oh, this guy.

But here's the take a bite. I read a bite. I think a bite out of your brain. I'm a gruff. The brain bites. The dog who commits crimes. So the first book, this nice kid, he gets this dog blow a blow. He's nice.

Are you supposed to read them in this order? I think so. It makes more sense if you do because in the second book, when it's revealed, oh my God, it's from the bullies point of view and guess what, it's home life sucks. And that's kind of what makes home bully. Yes, because bullies are bullied. And that's why they're bullies.

Heard people, heard people. Heard people, heard people, heard people, scared people, heard people, heard people, yeah. Tall people, heard people. I heard people scared people scare people. I heard people. Yeah, tall people tall people. Yeah, ear people ear people. Yeah. Yeah. That's all true.

I'm people. I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm

I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm bring me a mouth. Give it to me or you are the one to be it. If I point at you and you say, I am me, then I will say you are it's bullshit and people do fake outs. Oh my God. For reality TV before American Idol, that was the original like right. That was reality shows. Yeah. What did he do? That was a fake out. He'd, like, Rian's E-Crosser. That was the E-Crosser. What did he do that was a fake out? He'd be like,

and the person eliminated will be revealed after the break. Oh yeah. He loved doing love. And people go, and now Kelly and is no longer. He got off on it. Ryan, it's now gonna be Kelly and Mark, her husband.

Mark and his fellow? Yeah. I feel like this was her long, her plan. Her long con. To get paid twice for one show. It's like fucking shit. Was she? Just for the third time.

She could do it. Would you like to love to, I'm gonna show it together? How real? We'd be fucking. It's gotta start, it starts at eight. What the fuck, can you fucking imagine that? Eight, fifth time.

Eight, fifth time. It starts at eight, fifth time. Yeah, eight, fifth time. What about eight, third time It starts at eight fifteen. Yeah, eight fifteen. What about eight thirty? It has to kind of be on the side. Johnny Carson style. I'll do it at eight thirty. For how long?

Fifteen years. No, for a wait. It's one eight thirty. It's one eight thirty. It's one eight thirty. It's fifteen years long. Yeah. The episodes are two hours.

Yeah. No, I don't know. So eight thirty to ten thirty. Maybe two hours. Yeah, no, I don't know. So a 30 to 10 30 maybe two hours. It's better be no, they're only a what I or Jesus. Well, some of us good morning shows. The today show. Yeah, yeah, yeah, five hours. I'll do eight 30 a.m. for 20 minutes. Okay.

With cool up. Two days a week. What do we do with remaining 10 minutes in the end? Is it on YouTube in the half hour? Play YouTube. No, it's on YouTube. No, play YouTube for the remaining 10 minutes in the end? Is it on YouTube? In the half hour. Play YouTube. No, it's on YouTube. No, play YouTube for the remaining 10 minutes. I think you guys should be on YouTube

because you should make the show from home and it should be uploaded Tuesdays and Thursdays and it's 20 minutes or so. I don't think anyone would give a shit about listening. I remember. And you talk about current events that happen on Monday and Wednesday. Yeah, on Tuesday and Thursday? The previous Monday and Wednesday.

Okay. Yeah, we'll do it a week before. Yeah. It's old news. But I do. I do think like, would you do this morning? Like Paul, you and Janie do your show together. It's true. Which I really enjoy. I don't know if we could do it in the morning. Morning is a whole day. You guys are, yeah, you and you have to be really clean. Yeah. Morning is for sex. Yeah. After news are for sex. Night time is for podcast. I. After news is for sex. Night time is for podcast. Night time is for podcast to watch TV.

Yeah. Um, I remember watching Dr. Who on PBS. Dr. Why? Dr. How? Dr. What? Dr. them. What? Dr. The hamlet.

What? What? Dr. What? Dr. What? Dr. them. What? Dr. them. What? What? Dr. Whit. Dr. Whit. Dr. Whit.

Dr. Whit. Dr. Who were we? Why? Because the episodes were less than a half hour. They would. That's short back then? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Why? They're under a half hour. Ain't it out. But the local PBS station, they throw a music video on there at the end. Oh, yeah, that's great It would be oh famous bands and the first one How famous was the who eminence front?

Was there ever a doctor who episode called eminence front? Yeah What does emence forgot they did it already? What does Eminence front mean? I know that I know that Well, I don't know why you're asking dear. Okay. I guess you're right. I guess it's just a put-off CSI put-on And the theme song is Eminence Front. Yes. Eminence Front.

Yes, I call it a put on. And it's all about crime. But that's not the who. It's all about scant. No, like scant. What do you mean? That song's by the who? Yeah, Eminence Front.

Yeah. I thought it was by, and I'm a bit totally wrong. Here's what I've always thought. First of all, you already are totally wrong. That's what it's here. That is pre-establishedestablished but I think what I'm going to say makes no sense and I'm going to try to figure out why I thought this later. I thought it was wham Parliament fun could do it. It does sound like it could be Parliament. It is

It is a lot higher than the Great. I'm not completely insane. No, just wrong. Yeah. Yeah, and stupid Joker. Look, people come to my defense. I'm not completely insane. No, just don't. I'm just wrong. Yeah, and stupid. Joker. Look, people come to my defense if I'm right. We want to hear from you. If we say the phrase of the page, or if you'd like to come Lawrence defense. If she's ever right.

She was right about that born identity. Yeah, that's right. I was. I was. Apologies from both polo die. Yeah. Erata. No, there's no evidence of my thing being right at all.

There's no version of any world where that's true. Make my fun. But I did. That's a great part of a world that's a real world. Yeah, it would be cool. We're like things that you think are just true. Yeah, I would love to live in that. Sliding door.

Sliding door. Those door, when those sliding doors are shut. The way those sliding doors and you're a love the man. The world where I thought I was a, you're so lucky. The idea was we were all like at the same time. Yeah, I didn't have anything over here. We wanted to hear it though. You all stop talking. That's Lauren saying.

Let me tell you. Yeah. When no sliding doors, I knew that that path was not for me. I blew that. I blew that. I never fuck it. Fuck it. Fuck it.

What do you think Shoei ever said fuck it? Fuck it. I'm. What do you think? Whatever said fuck it. Fuck it. I'm sure he did. Can I tell you a petty show business story? I'm loving me. I'm loving me. Yeah. Years ago, handful of years ago, did the London podcast festival.

I love it. And I did two shows. I did a show with Superigo and I did a show with Spontorco with me and Janet Varney and Tony Newsom Eugene could not make it. And the first night, Super Ego show was a lot of fun. We got a standing ovation. Wow. I was like for the people listening.

Generous. For the people listening by the way, who don't know what a standing ovation is. Well, how would you describe it? Well, it's like, you know an ovation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Sure. We're smart. But it's like, it's dumb enough. Like, usually it's dumb for the listener. Well, I'm trying. I'm trying. Okay. At the end of the show, it's typical to give an ovation.

Yeah. And everyone does that. That's usually with like palms slapping together. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes the, the, where you put the fingerprints on the fingers. Yeah, I mean, and it's your own two hands. You don't typically slap other people. No, no, it's always your own hands. Yeah, slap them together. So basically it's a sound of two hands clapping. Yeah,

it's an ovation. Yeah, it's a novation. Sometimes if people really liked it, it's a put on. It's a pie. So you get a clear picture of what it is. I mean, you wouldn't be doing it if the show wasn't over. And there weren't people in the room. No, no, no, no. Have you ever been alone in a room and you just start doing this? Yes. That's, you have?

I have been alone in a room and I just start clapping because I think I had a great thought and I get myself out of it. But that's not an ovation. Because an ovation is always at the end of something because they have the same root over ovation. Oh, God. So that's why it's very rude and it's bad luck in the route over Ovation. Oh, God. So that's why it's very rude and it's bad luck

in the theater to clap before Oclap. That's another word for it. Clap. You can't do that before the end of the show. Even if you really like something. Although isn't every second the end of something, it's the end of that second. So you can clap at the time.

Yeah, but it has to be the specific thing is over. You can't just clap it in the second. If you're standing, if you're getting a standing ovation, can you talk about more like what that might look like? This is exactly for the layman, for the layperson, for the roots. Give us an idea of what that might look like.

If we were to be in a room where one was happening, because if you do see this happening, I think you might get really stressed out if you didn't know what this was. Am I right, Scott? Well, this has happened to me a handful of times, maybe two, three, four, five. Okay.

And I was frightened to death. Oh, much like the barcom. And you were in the audience or you were on stage. I, no, never on stage. Oh, okay. This happens. No, I was in the audience. Much like the barcom books, I'll give you both perspectives.

So I'll give you the performance perspective and the audience perspective. Okay, so because you've seen it both, you've seen it both ways now. Yes, very, there's very fine experiences on both sides. So, from the audience perspective, what you're seeing is the thing that you love, you're seeing this performance is over,

you're saying, I enjoyed this so much. I just say, I need to go home and I walk out of the room. No, if you enjoyed something very much? Yeah, oh, Scott, no. It's over, I need to go home. Scott, it's over. I need to go home. Scott, honey, no, I need to go home. So you get really scared and you kind of cry, begging to go home. Please, someone, please, someone, take me home. That's not everybody's experience. That's the experience. There's someone who can't stay awake until like, yeah.

So it's scared during the interview. So the audience, the audience is, they're applauding, they're giving the ovation. And then they're saying, I want them to really notice that I'm doing this. And so if I stand up, they will see how much I enjoyed it. So all it takes is one person to stand up then everyone else doesn't want that person to feel self-conscious. So whether they liked it or not, they have to stand up.

Absolutely. I mean, there's plenty of times where you're involved in one of those that you think, yes. I wasn't really gonna stand. I'm happy to clap for hours. I thought it was good plenty of times where you're involved in one of those that you think, yes. I wasn't really gonna stand. I'm happy to clap for hours. I thought it was good. For how good it was. It's the first day of the day.

The first stany ovation was everyone was getting up to leave and then it just felt so good to the performers. They're like, yeah, we did it. And then everyone's like, oh, I actually was leaving. Yeah, and people were like standing up as they clap like, okay, bye. And then everyone was like, what were they actually heading for the exit?

Yeah, yeah. Okay. And the performers like this feel, this feels great. Great then everyone, but when they actually heading from the exit, yeah, yeah. Okay. And the performers like this feel this feels great. Yeah, well, they were just gathering up. Let's try to get one of these very nice. That feels very dismissive to me. If you were to clap and stand and walk away. All right, bye.

Oh, that would hurt. Yeah, that would hurt. Now, you see it happen, people want to get to their car first. It would feel pointed. Why don't we? I think basketball players are really hurting people leave before they even shoot the last basketball.

They get so bad. Oh, man, the last basketball. Because they're like, you have to say. The last basketball is always the best hurt when people leave before they even shoot the last basketball. Oh my god, the last basketball. Cause they're like, you have to stay. The last basketball is always the best one. You have to stay to the last basketball. If you don't even wanna see what happens, like you kinda have to know how close we got to losing and we're in, yeah. Why don't, when you go see a play and you really love it,

why can't you like everyone claps? Why can't you just go on stage and shake everyone's hand? Yeah, why can't you? You can. And why can't you go, why can't you give them a hug? Yeah, people just don't do it. Yeah, it's and you are being nice These are this is this one Trist like the theater performers don't want Instagram. This is like

Thank you Your Tik Tok is a secret menu it in and out. Oh my god Can I just say I'm not and I know you actually had a point you were getting to not a point But I was gonna say more things. Okay, I was thinking, during this girl's trip, we can I was just on. Yeah. TikTok came up a lot, people were like, I saw on TikTok, did I, I saw on TikTok,

and I went, I really feel like I need to get on TikTok because I feel like I'm missing out from, like things they were learning that were actually interesting. Like, I found it interesting. Yeah, it's like, I should be on TikTok. And then on the like last night, people were like, looking at how much screen time they had on TikTok, and then they all said,

don't do it. TikTok specifically. Because it's so addictive. And yeah, I'm fun. I find now, I think since I quit Twitter, and I'm just on Instagram, that the more I scroll, the sooner it feels gross to me. Right.

The soon, like, it happens so much faster than it used to. And even people, like I don't follow a ton of people, so it's mostly people that I know who are I know in real life. And it's just like, what am I, I always have the feeling, what am I doing? I know when I have that feeling so often, and I've talked about it so many times, and everyone's like, just fucking stop doing it then.

But I'm like, it is addictive. Look, great advice. I know, I'm just assuming they're saying that on there. Of course they are. But I'm like, you it is addictive great advice. I know I'm just assuming they're saying that of course they are But I'm like you will you will see yourself and go I'm wasting my time But then sometimes I'm just go what else am I doing? I guess I would like to read more books by the way doing horribly on my Challenge oh Sorry if I'm being totally honest. I'm on my six book. Oh, no, it is April 17th or something and I have to read

Oh no, it is April 17th or something and I have to read 18 more books before January January can they be short? Yeah, I have to so Waiter you counting the books you read Holly yeah Lauren and I've only read six Two pages in I'm like so bored So from the performers's perspective. Yeah, like, oh my God, they're mad and they're gonna come and strangle me. Yeah. And then you see that they're still clapping

and you think, okay, this is great. I like this. So what happened to you? So we got the standing ovation for Super Eagle, which I thought was, look, I love playing with those guys. I think we're funny. But this show didn't deserve a standing ovation. It was fine.

It was no different than any of our other shows, which never got standing ovation. Sure, so you're like, why? But you're in another country. It's almost like, hey, thanks for getting another part. They're all holding the effort. Exactly. So the next night, doing this show with Tony and Janet,

and we had a great guest, we had a guest drop out, and then we had a last minute replacement in Starly Kind, who was one of my favorite interviews of all of Spontany Nation. There was like a really interesting, very candid interview about her family. And then we did a sliding doors, like improv thing, that ran through the whole, it was, you know,

the whole thing. We're playing multiple characters and keeping the story going multiple characters. And I was like, we're gonna get, we're gonna get us standing on my shirt. Now you're making on it. And then we didn't. Damn. And I was, did it get booze or was it just normal? No, it was just normal plus.

Oh man. You felt it was special. It was my hubris. I felt it was special and I thought, well, surely these people recognized it's special. It was my hubris. I fell in love with special, and I thought, well, surely these people recognized the special. Yeah. And they did not feel the same way as I did. And I bring it up to those guys to Tony Janet.

Remember when we didn't know the same thing? Almost the same. Yeah. I say it's still bothers me. And they were like, we weren't expecting it because we weren't at that time. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Yeah, we figured it would. Yeah. Yeah. You never expect to stand in place. Imagine wanting a standing ovation for improv. I want one now. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. Give it to me. That's standing ove. No. The main bra. We've gotten it for comedy bang bang, though, which is very strange. They're just so excited. What is the song that goes? Yeah. Boundoom. Boundoom. Boundoom.

Is it? Boundoom to doom. I think it's about a witch flying over the floor. No, it's Michael Jackson. It's a tackling witch in there. Oh, for real? No, you already knew that. No, it's the,

yeah. The fun of 40,000 years. Is it off the wall? I don't know, anyway. You know where he laughs at the beginning here? No, I don't. Stop saying it. I don't know, anyway. You know where he laughs at the beginning here? No, I don't. Stop saying it. I can't believe it.

We haven't mentioned Michael Jackson in such a long time. I thought we were doing great. I was at a vintage store and I saw, it was a really great t-shirt, however, the big flaw was that I had Michael Jackson's drawing on it. But it was like a really good drawing. You know, it was like, this is a good shirt. So you liked it on an artistic level. It's like, no judgment about the guy.

This is a good find in general. Yeah, great artwork and then this logo was, I'm innocent. And then the back said, the where believes the shirt. That should just be the back. That should be on the shirt. The where believes the shirt. We should be just

sure but that's very old. The wearer believes the shirt. Freedom is the best podcast in the back says the wearer believes the shirt. Let's do it. It's the wearer believes the

shirt. The wearer believes the shirt. The wearer believes the shirt. The wearer believes the shirt. The wearer believes the shirt. The wearer believes the shirt. The wearer believes the where believes the where believes the shirt We're back. We're back. We're back.

Lauren, do you ever want to say we're back? We're back and we're ready to rumble. This time we're going to play a little thing called a threacher. That's right. If you're not familiar, a threacher is a thing that we play. Oh wait, I'm not ready to rumble. Well, what do you need your rumble pack? Yeah.

The rumble pack. Yeah. What does that mean to you? Video game. Video game. Yeah. But now controllers just have rumble packs, right? It's pretty great.

I also have heard of rumble pack being in your seat. That that is called. That was rumble seats. Rumble seats can. Rumble seats can. Deets seats can. Rumble seats can. He would steal your ass. Yeah, exactly. I was Rumble Seatskin. Deats Seatskin. Rumble Seatskin.

He was still your ass. Yeah, exactly. I was gonna say it's fun to have rumbles on it. Not ridges. No, rumbles, not ridges. Rumbles, not ridges. All right, so tasty. Can I just say, yeah, I just want to say really quickly.

Video-gating controllers are so good now. They're really? The subtleties of the vibrational shit, what they do, it's really good. It's really good. I'm really happy for you because I feel like, that changes your quality of life. Thank you.

Yeah. Can you imagine going back and living during the 70s again? I mean, it would be simpler, because I bet if you went back now and you were in the 70s, you'd be like, okay, all of TV is garbage. So I'm never gonna watch it again. Whereas I watched a lot of it during the 70s.

I would probably watch, the big airplane since the 90s. More of an 80s show, I guess. I watched Sanford and Son, I watched Good Times. I would just watch all the 70s. You'd watch all the stuff again. All the stuff I heard. I feel like now having seen,

I've forgotten at all, peak TV of how good it is. Now you'd be like, I've seen Good TV. I definitely be bored enough to watch it all again. I don't stuff I heard. I feel like now having seen, I've forgotten at all, peak TV of how good it is. Now you'd be like, I've seen good TV. I definitely be bored enough to watch it all again. I don't think I would. You think I wouldn't want to see Mod getting abortion for the second time? Oh. Oh.

Lady Godav, it was a freedom. It was so crazy. That episode, by the way, is 22 minutes. First two minutes are her deciding to get it. Then the next 20 or her getting it. Yeah. It was so crazy. Yeah, yeah.

It was really awesome. And then she shoves it in getting it. Yeah, it was so crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Really awesome. And then she shoves it in her husband's face. The last 10 seconds. Oh, where's the baby? I thought you went to bring it up from the hospital. Why? It's only you. It's only you.

It's only you. It's only you. It's only you. It's only you. It's only you. It's only you. It's only you. It's only you. It's only you. It's only you. It's only you. It's only you. It's only you. Okay, is this creature? Is this creature?

This is called the titular game. And this is submitted by Luke Mindel. Does the lighting change in here? No, it's just, as it gets, it's a three-to-m after dark now. Oh, no. It's your brain tumor. The shot. All right, we name a movie, or someone names a movie.

Then we all improvise a scene, taking turns doing lines in character, but not as characters from the movie. It's just a random scene. Okay. It has to be totally made up, have nothing to do with the movie. All the characters are so that movie. So what is the movie?

So why do you say a movie? Well, I'll get to that. Okay. So we're creating new characters who are saying lines from movies. No. So the scene must lead to one character saying the name of the movie with as much gravitas as you can.

Okay. Okay. And if we all say it at the same time, bonus. Amazing. Okay, great. So we just have to eventually end at the title of the movie. Yeah. We don't have to say actual lines from the film.

No. You just have to find a way to naturally say Yeah, easy. I love it. This is gonna be so easy watch this. So Lauren, do you want to name the movie don't believe me? Just watch don't believe me, we're short The wherever believes is short. My the name of the film is three men and a little lady. Okay Hey ding dong Okay. Hey, ding dong. What's up, blue?

Ding dong, I thought you were ghosted first. I am. But it's just that you're standing next to your cardboard cutout. Yeah, I know. Just like that movie, three men and a little lady. What's that? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. No gravitas though. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That was too quick. That didn't work out. That was wrong. Also, the cutout was from three minute a baby.

I believe not. I don't even know. The ghost cutout? No. Yeah, it's the story of the ghost on the set of three minute babies. Supposedly, when you watch three minute a baby, you can see a ghost in the background. And, but it's actually just the cutout of the three of them.

Why is there a cutout of town? Why is there a cut out of town? For publicity for... It was just in the background, like when they were shooting. Yeah, in their apartment, he had like a giant cut out of himself. It's like through, it's like through, it's like through. There's a window and there's curtains on the window and you can see this...

How's the window? Figure. Okay. What? Again, another callback, too. Let's do another one. Okay, my girl too. Okay Scott I was going to fucking say that you were I swear to God. Oh, you said at the same time. We would have won that scene

All right, okay Gentlemen, I want to just really talk for a quick second about you know the Sorry, sorry, sorry the auto shop is having a lot second about, you know, the auto. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. I'm like, the auto shop is having a lot of issues because you guys have not been fixing. Did you see the restaurant across the street is on fire? Oh no. Well, that's not really our problem.

I'm sorry to interrupt here, but I'm told because I worried about this fire, but I do want to talk about the car. I want to believe you both. You guys got to see this fire, it's crazy. I mean, I know you have your thing. You want to talk about that? Is everyone out safely? No, they're all burning alive in here.

My girl too. She was there at the restaurant. She owns it. The owner was a woman. You guys said you only want to own businesses across the street from each other. At least we stay true to our world. Why is this so good?

I don't know. What's the word? Let's try to execute ourselves. Can I have pleated? Can scenario completed? Scenario, successfully, complete. Okay, Paul, you name a movie. Okay.

Raiders of the Lost Ark. Raiders of Lost Ark. Do do do do. Okay. Thank you for coming. Look, I know I know it started raining. Every scene. Thank you so much for, by the way, I have to sincerely thank you all for coming.

No, no sweat. I mean, I mean, I know it's raining out. Yeah, I know work. We come to work. I know, but I want to tell you, I want to tell you that God has been talking to me over the last few months. And that's why heaven God, that one from heaven. Yeah, yeah. Gee, Mark, Mark, you never believe that it's really God. It's always God. Yeah. Why didn't you talk to me?

Well, only talks through him. Sorry, yeah. And that's why I've been building this. I mean, this is why I don't believe it. He only talks to the one guy. I know. And he always says it's like through his big hat. I maybe there's a receiver in there somehow. Well, look, your hat is two feet tall, by the way.

Yes, it's a tall hat. It's in style right now. You know what? Two feet tall. It's not small. I want to push you against the wall. I'm opening. See you fucking try. I'm opening a shop, by the way. Is that something I can bring up here? I guess. I mean, is this a safe space to bring up that we're opening shop? You're not gonna trigger me or anything. You're not gonna bring up your shop. Okay, sure.

I'm opening a shop. It's called Lost Ark. Mm. I never want to talk about that again. Hey, we won't. We won't. You're not. Are you worried about how bad crime has been lately?

I'm, I've been worried a little bit. I was still gonna start my shop. I'm not gonna base my shop or whatever. I don't wanna talk about your shop anymore. Okay. I told you, never bring up your shop, lost dark, ever again. Hey, who were you to decide what shops we can and cannot talk about?

Hey, hey, sorry, I'm late to the... A new guy? Meaning I... William Shatter? Shop across the street is being robbed. I don't want to talk about this. What? My shop's being robbed.

Get out of here. My shop is across the street. I can't get out of here. Who are they doing that? The Raiders of the Lost House? Come on. Well, how did you think we were going to get there? You had a plan.

Well, I was talking about my arc that I was building. No, not that shit. I didn't know. I was gonna call you Judas. Judas. Call me Judas. Call me Ishmael. No, they got a bug.

Hey, call me Ishmael. Why that? You're reading my book. All right, Lauren, you pick a movie. Okay, the movie, did you pick one? Yeah. Sorry, Jesus Christ. The movie is called,

the movie is called whatever happened to BabyJay. Whatever happened to BabyJay. Thank you both. Be here. Hey, let me just say, no skin off my teeth. You know what I will say, you're welcome because I actually didn't want to be here on a Saturday. I actually have things that I wanted to be doing today. I'm your roommate, so I just had to go outside my room.

And I'm your landlord and I did not want to be here today, so you are very welcome I'm here on a Saturday. I do appreciate both of you very much. You know, I'm at a time of my life where I'm reminiscing. I'm thinking about the life I've lived and the people I've known. You owe me rent, by the way. You're thinking about that too. You owe me rent too.

I'm also thinking about that, don't worry. I mean, I'm the one who pays you. I don't really care how it gets to me. I just want it in my wallet. I've only paid her half this month because you you haven't paid your, what's been done? I will pay you the rent I promise. You must pay the rent. I can't pay the rent.

You. You call us here to tell us that you can't pay the rent. You must. I can't pay the rent. You know, if bullshit were a bra, you would be top heavy. Guilty as charged. But the reason, by the way, you are a little top heavy. I have to say, you're a little bottom heavy too.

Like what's it you've gained? 120 pounds. It's fatal. I'm dying. I'm dying to fatal me. No. Yes. So when is the rent being paid? Well, it's going to be left to you in my will

And then my roommate of course will pay you lad Lord But I do I need another room. Do you want to leave with me? Hmm. I have been wishing I could have that room It overlooks the street so well. Please please please. It really does. There's so much traffic I love to see the cars and smell the pollution. I have so little time left. Oh, it's like happening soon. It's happening soon. Okay. Like what's the ETA? Hey, you know, you were to what about your wife and that you used to have and that daughter of yours. They leave you. Yeah. Uh, Mildred and uh, whatever happened to baby Jane. Come on. happened to baby Jane. She's gonna come on. Ha ha ha ha.

Did you get it? Just. It's gotta come up naturally. But it's also supposed to be like a dramatic moment. Ha ha ha. The casual question. Ha ha ha. Every time you made like a casual question.

Ha ha ha. My girl too was pretty dramatic. Oh my god. That was dramatic. That was dramatic. I said she was dying in a fire. Oh my God. That was dramatic. That was dramatic. She was dying in a fire. That was the one. Thank you.

All right. No madland. Thank you both for being here. No, thank you. I'm here under duress. But thank you. Really? I've been dying to come here.

Well, so you both are here. We switched places. Switch places. Yes. Thank you both for coming. Teeth Clean's way. Switch places. Thank you both for coming in for your regular checkup. We decided to do a dual teeth clean. Well, you always do, right? I mean twins. Yeah, twins, can join twins.

Can join twins. Can join twins. We're joined at the cheek. Because there was that one time you had an appointment and you didn't want to deal with it and he wanted to take it. He's done and whatever. But anyways, yes, you're both.

And he didn't want to come. Yeah, he was being a real baby about it. Yeah. And I said, you can't be unhappy at the dentist office. It's a no mad land. Wow. Wow. I actually think that was good.

I thought it was good. See, I'm supportive. I thought it was good. I thought it was good. See, I'm supportive. I thought it was good. It's only a different game. No, but that is fun.

All right, one more, one more. is fun. All right, one more. One more. One more. Okay, one more. You get to pick your move. Okay. Um, let's say. He's packing her things.

Come on. I put sunglasses in a purse. But I know you're. Neither of them are mine. I know you're all M.O. I love to leave. That's my favorite leave You love to leave 10 minutes before the That's not true. I'm invested Boogie nights boogie nights

Hey, I don't want to thank you guys for coming because I Don't appreciate you being here. Well, you're welcome anyway. I don't give a fuck what you say. I don't, I'm trying to sleep. Why are you here? It's one of those boogie nights. Oh jeez. Ah. That's one of those boogie nights.

I guess we're done. And that's how you play that game. Thank you for submitting it. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Two looks in a row. Well, do you have anything you want to plug? Yeah, I met, first of all, the comedy bang-bang book just came out two days ago.

So you gotta get the book. By this week, if you can, you gotta get the book. And then I met the Chicago Humanities Festival this Saturday being interviewed by a human. By a human being fun. It's a no robot festival. No robes. No AI, no chat GPT, no droids, no Alexa's, no series.

No one named Alexa. Chappy, uh-uh. Hey Chappy, go back to your fucking home planet. Hey, Chappy. Sit this one out. Transformers. Chappy, you're not about you today. And don't try to come in as a truck, Transformers.

You're still a robot. We won't be friends. We're going to have those mirrors underneath your truck. And if we see a robot, we'll be fooled again. We're out. MNN Sprout. So look, I also have a pluge. Mayth mother's day. I'm just gonna watch succession

Varietopia with Paul F. Tompkins and well, you're you're like, what I'm not gonna go see that show successions on Guess what you piece of shit after the show. We're gonna watch succession as a family We're gonna have a great time watching And hopefully a more functional family than the family. Then the Roy's. Yeah. Yeah. That sounds great. Paul, I've talked about a complex live. Oh, it's cute.

I don't mind it. It's fun to be tickled. I'll tell you again. I don't know why people hate it so much. It's great. Yeah. I don't really have a plug right now. I don't think, I mean, besides I'm doing shows, you know, around and about You should see what they are on my Instagram. Yeah, and you got shows that are online and my shows are online on dynasty typer.com If you want to watch old shows more than I've done a bunch to check them out

We have our two person shows that we've done if you want to honestly if you want to see some weird insane shit from quarantine times Oh my god, I did these shows over zoom It was some very weird times we're having. Really weird times, really weird times. All right. Well, if you want to hear ad-free versions of the show, you can go to Stitcher Premium or CBBWorld.com. And if you would like to send us a feature like Luke did, why don't you write to three to meosageemail.com. You can also leave us a phone message, a voice mail, some people call them, that Hag claims

eight and follows it on Instagram. Three to meosage? Yes. Yeah. All that stuff. Yeah. And look for our shirt coming soon. And by the company, they're making great podcasts.

So wear, who wear, believe me, shirt. Yes, oh, we need that. We definitely need that. Yeah. So look for those, those should be out in the market in the next 48 hours. Yeah, exactly, tight turn around. Yeah, tight turn around on that. All right, we'll see you.

Bye. Bye. I'm gonna be a fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking