Threedom - My Way (I Did It)

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

Lauren, Scott, and Paul discuss TV themes, Australia, and internet celebs before playing Switch It and Pitch It. Get Threedom merch at comedybangbangworld.com/merch. Follow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Weight Watchers, founded over 60 years ago, has continually evolved alongside our understanding of weight, health, and nutrition. Recognizing that every body is unique, they have rejected the idea that there might be a one-size-fits-all solution. With decades of experience and ongoing research in science and behavior, Weight Watchers remains a trusted authority helping millions of members worldwide. Weight Watchers fits your needs whether it's through their clinically proven points program or for those that medically qualify access to doctor prescribed weight loss medications and registered dietitians in Weight Watchers Clinic. See how Weight Watchers fits you at WeightWatchers.com.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Hi everyone, let's chat about therapy. Therapy is essential. It's non-negotiable in your self-care routine. When life gets hectic with activities and projects, it's easy to lose sight of your priorities. That's when a therapist can be a total game changer. Like my therapist has been for me, and I really mean that. I love you, Dr. Linda. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Freedom today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-l-p.com slash freedom.

Freedom! ["Freedom!" by The Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Bunch of the Freedom! Alright, I have it right here. Can you tell me about your chocolate on your face? What happened? Um, I got... ...Romaineus on my face and I washed it. Did you wash it with chocolate? Yep! Yep! Yep, you guessed it! I'm so happy to see that anytime it comes up in my feed.

Paul was telling us about this video right before we started the recording. I truly was. And we all said, there's no way that's real. We were like, it doesn't exist, fake news. And I, look, I get it. I understand why you would think that. You're an untrustworthy source.

We said, it doesn't exist, it doesn't exist. And then you said, like Santa and the M&M's commercial, you said, it does exist. Yeah, and I fainted. It does exist. Meaning the M&M's exist? Well, what Santa says is they do exist. Oh, okay, so you're paraphrasing and changing the tense.

It's like people would say about him, does he exist or not? And so that's what the commercial is. They do exist. I will once again repeat that I despise that commercial. Why? Why? The idea that they're putting the cartoon M&Ms

on the same level of legend status as Santa Claus. That Santa Claus himself is so overcome at seeing them. level of legend status. I agree. Yes. That Santa Claus himself. I'm sorry. Is so overcome at seeing them. You think that Santa is so legendary that he that he knows about everything. I mean, he does see inside the minds of everyone. So nothing would really surprise him.

Here's what he's surprised. It's that who gives a shit. But EminemMs are global. It's almost like, like if we were to discover a new breed of ant, most of us would be like, who cares? The cartoon M&Ms are not legendary breed of ant. Sure. Sure. The cartoon M&Ms. That shoot lasers.

That sounds great. You'd be interested in that? The laser ants? I think I would be. I don't know. I think none of us would care. I might care for five seconds. But I saw it on Instagram, I'd be like, whoa. Whoa, laser ants?

And then I'd be on the next one, you know. Yeah, that's okay, yeah. You wouldn't share the story? Probably not. I kind of would, I would have. Not even if you had a best friend who was really into ants? I just think, I might send it to my friend. The cartoon M&M's.

I might send it to a cobbled group. GroupM's I might send it to a couple group chains. are not so legendary that fucking Santa Claus himself. Okay, Paul, who do you think should be substituted for Santa, like Bigfoot? Yeah, yeah. That's fine, that's equitable to you. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. That would be evil.

Why, why, why, why did they not do that? They should have had a series. Bigfoot doesn't have a candy and he needs one. But Santa doesn't have a candy. What? Santa doesn't have candy canes. They're exploiting Santa for M&Ms. I can't wait till it's Christmas time to get red and green M&Ms. Oh, man. Only.

And pink ones and purple ones and yellow ones. No purples, only red and green. Maybe white. Do you make your own or I make my own by pulling them, pulling the wrong colors out? No, I make them with natural colors. I love Christmas so much I can't wait. I will take a bag of M&Ms.

I'll throw some writ in the washing machine. Uh huh. Yeah. And then put the M&Ms in there. I'll throw some RIT in the washing machine. RIT? RIT die. Uh huh, yeah. And then put the M&Ms in there. I thought you were gonna say RITs crackers. Of course it doesn't melt. I'll throw RITs crackers in there sometimes.

Yeah. God damn RITs crackers. I'll throw anything in the washer. You know what? You know what I'm gonna try to do this year? RITs crackers are so good. They are good. You know what I'm gonna try to do this year?

What are you gonna try? I'm gonna try to make my own Chex Mix. Lauren, you can't do that. I'm gonna try. Lauren. I'm gonna try, I swear. No, Lauren. Why would you set yourself up for such a disappointment? Please let me do it. Lauren, you can't do that. I'm gonna try. Lauren. I'm gonna try, I swear. No, Lauren. Why would you set yourself up for such a disappointment?

Geez, let me do it. Lauren, I'm hugging you. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna fix what's wrong with this world because they took the Ritz cracker out of the bold party mix. What? Years ago it had a Ritz, a little tiny round cracker in there.

Are they feuding with the Nabisco? And they would get covered with the dust and it was so good. Covered with the dust. Yeah, I'm a McBrown. Is Chex and Ritz, are they the same, are they both Nabisco products? You know, I don't know that it was a Ritz Cracker as much as a classic round cracker. You can't copy a Ritz and then say it's not a Ritz.

Ritz? People do it all the time. They shouldn't? No, they shouldn't and they mustn't. We buy a brand called Back to Nature that makes classic rounds. That sounds disgusting. Do they look like Ritz crackers? They do, but they're a little smaller, a little thicker.

Like me. Thicker? They're a little smaller. How thick are we talking? Thicker! One inch? They're two inches big. They're two inches thick?

That's the rule of thumb. Honestly, if I had a cracker that was two inches thick, I would like that. The kind of chomp you'd get out of that situation. That's a good point. If it was the texture of a Ritz cracker, I could see that being very enjoyable. If they could maintain the integrity of the texture while making it really, really thick.

That's disgusting. You're the one who brought it up. I'm actually not. Damn, he got you there. But I'm actually not. So it got you there, but I'm actually not So it was a really crispy thick two inch thing Ritz cracker And it's this but right buttery but right in the middle is just a little bit soggy No, no here's that out of here. Here's what it should be. Why are you doing it? We're trying to conjure a nice thing You know what? It's really saying you know those like really good you like it you freak

You know those really big god like to a cracker Scott like crackers. I'm mocking really. Cause you like it, you freak. You know those really big. Scott liked what crackers, Scott liked what crackers. I'm mocking him, do you mind? No it's good, keep doing it. Do you know those really big Kit Kat bars? That are like really thick. Kit Kat thick, yeah. Kit Kat thick.

It should be like that but crackers. But actually you could put a layer of Ritz inside of that and it'd be really good. Do you know what I had on the road? This would be my little treat at night. Not sure. After the show. What is it?

The Reese's Big Cup. I thought you said you didn't like it. I didn't like the caramel one. Oh. No, keep caramel out of there. If it ain't broke, don't fix it. You just need a thick glob of the peanut butter. And by the way, they make the best

peanut butter cups on Earth. Reese's? Oh yeah, number one. The- Number one. They make the best peanut butter cups on earth. Reese's? Yeah. Oh yeah, number one. Number one. They're the best at it. Should we do a peanut butter cup taste test? Yeah, of course we should.

I think all non Reese's ones are disgusting. No. Oh, I wouldn't go that. Oh, oh. The ones you get at Trader Joe's or whatever. I eat those. What? Barf.

No. They're not barf. The dark chocolate ones? Yeah, barf. You're out of your fucking mind. You're out of your goal. Barf! You're insane. I say.

You should go to an insane asylum. Like a loony bin? The late great Hannibal Lecter. I'd like to have you for dinner. He's not dead. He's not dead. I just saw a clip. We talked about this.

The late great Hannibal Lecter. I just saw a clip where Jodie Foster was saying that he wouldn't, they didn't speak to each other outside of the scenes. And they kind of kept him sequestered in his like area for most of the time anyway. And she was so scared of him. Yeah, I like that. I don't mind stuff like that. I agree.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Cause that's actually harder to get into as an actor, I would say. Yeah. Being really afraid of your scene partner. Yes. But like the Timothy Hutton.

To not know them at all as a person would be really helpful. In ordinary people where they encouraged like Mary Tyler Moore and Donald Sutherland not to talk to him or something without telling him. I don't like that. And then the whole time he's kind of like, why do these actors hate me? Yeah.

That sucks. That fucking sucks. That's different. I also heard they did that with Nicholas Cage on Long Legs. What is? Because they kept him away from everybody because he looked so crazy in that movie. Oh, I've never seen they did that with Nicholas Cage on Long Legs. They kept him away from everybody because he looked so crazy in that movie. Oh, I've never seen anything about this. I've heard it described,

but I have not seen pictures of what he looks like. Oh, okay. He's a scary figure. Yes, it's a scary movie. Like a Babadookie. Babadoo, he's surreal. The Babadook. Hey, my Babadook over here.

Family Man, another great movie, similar to It's A Wonderful Life. We should do that on Scott Hasn't Seen. You should do that. I love that movie. Do you love it? I've never seen it. Oh, I love it.

It's a good Christmas movie. All the riffs on It's A Wonderful Life seem like pale imitations. This one's really good. It's just good. It's Nicolas Cage, it's Hale-Ioni, it's just good. It's funny there's two Christmas things, Christmas Carol and It's a Wonderful Life.

Yeah, and everyone riffs on it. That people do versions of and it never quite is that great. This one I would say is really good. Okay. And look, I know people out there would be like, what about Muppet Christmas Carol? That's not- That's a riff on-

They're just doing the Christmas Carol. But it's with Muppets. Right. They're not like reinventing the world Christmas Carol. They're just doing the Christmas Carol, but it's with Muppets. Right. They're not like reinventing the world. No. They're not. Although if you could reinvent the world. The guy's name is Scrooge. If you could reinvent the world, what would you do?

Like, what would you fix? I would make things that are blue a little bluer. Okay. Yeah, probably that's it. I only know that. That's it? Yeah, for the world? You could do anything. I'd make things that are green, a little greener. Interesting. What about, what about you? See that? Well, you could do anything. You can do anything. Okay. So I'd fix continental drift. I'd make all

everything. Just one big continent. Yeah. Okay. Um, because then it would be easier to get places and you wouldn't have, uh, Pangea. Okay. Because then it would be easier to get places and you wouldn't have planes crashing into the ocean. You wouldn't have these water landings that Captain Sully Sullenberger is so fond of. You just have land landings? Land landings. Yeah, you just have-

It's right there in the title, landings. People just crash in the land. But you wouldn't like make red brighter or something? I mean, I guess you're probably right. I would just make red like 10% brighter. No, 6%. How does this affect the seasons? Because we're all in one place.

Yeah. So you have no more of this bullshit with Australia. Oh, we celebrate surfing Santa Claus. Santa likes to surf. Santa likes to surf. I intend Santa. Santa likes to surf. What is that like to be in Australia and have it be pure summer? It must fuck with your head so badly.

You've never, but it's because it snows later. Because it snows in the, in the, in the, in June for you. And so you're like, it snows in June for you. But like every piece of media you ever watch, all of the iconography of Christmas has to do with snow and cold and snowmen and all this. Because I feel like in LA you're going, well, it doesn't snow here, but it snows other places. But in Australia, it does snow, right?

I hope so. I assume. I pray for them that it snows there. I know that I've ever heard that. Well, I guess I'm gonna have to look at this up. Does it snow in Australia? Does it snow down under there? Snow is uncommon in Australia at sea level,

but it's common in the country's higher elevations during winter, which runs from June to August. So you maybe, you live in Australia, you've maybe never even heard of snow or seen snow, and then suddenly you're watching, oh, let's turn on this thing about Santa Claus, my favorite guy from Christmas. He's on a surfboard.

Yeah. And you turn it on. You turn it on. Who's my favorite guy for Christmas? Gotta be Santa Claus. You turn it on. And then what happens? And then you're suddenly like,

what the hell is going on here? This isn't the Santa, I know. And what is this white stuff falling out of the sky? Yep. It's crazy, man. And you're this white stuff falling out of the sky? Yep. It's crazy, man. And you're left with questions. But there's people here in America who've never seen snow.

They live in certain regions of the country. I mean, that's true. It's exactly the same. People have never seen the ocean. Honestly, the argument was falling apart as I was saying it. I knew it. Well, no, I'm not trying-

But I wanted to stick with it. I'm not trying to dispute what you were saying. I'm saying it's wild to believe, especially for people like you and me who grew up with snow, that there's some people you could live in a region. And never see snow. And never see snow.

But you know what? The better argument for Australia conversation is what we call summer, they call winter. Yeah. So that's confusing. When everything, every movie is like, it's summer break and they're on the beach, blah, blah, blah. You're going, no.

Yeah. Yes. They're like, oh no, it's winter. I'm boiling alive. And then summer, oh, I'm freezing to death. Yes. It doesn't mean. But they call them, so they say. I'm dead twice in a year. Now I know they might sound unintelligent right now, but do they say it's summer when it's November to summer?

Do they say this is summer break or do they still call it winter? I don't even know what they're doing there. It's like they keep it so close to the vest. The thing about Australia, and if you're an Australian listener, I'm so sorry, but you need to hear this. They're very contrary. Yeah, they're very cagey. They're like, let's make the water go the other way down the drain.

Right. They like to do everything backwards. It's like guys, guys, guys, guys, guys. Enough with this opposite day nonsense. We've worked it all out up here in the States. Yes. How it's all supposed to go. Right.

Even in China. Now, see, cause so they call December to February summer. So they just call it summer. It's nuts there. But that's interesting. It should be. just call it summer. It's nuts there. But that's interesting. It should be illegal. It should be illegal. And honestly, it's a continent full of convicts.

And I get it. They just wanted to do everything. You know what I think is part of the punishment? Is we're gonna banish you to this island and we're gonna change the seasons all around. Yeah, and your water has to go counterclockwise. Yeah. Think about that next time you commit a crime.

We love you though, Australia. We love you so much. We love you, Perth. We love you, it's so much fun in you. Yes. We still have, I feel like I'm keeping up the text thread. You do the most, so we still have a chain for the people who are in Australia.

And that's not a complaint, I'm happy to do it. But you come along, you come across rather quokka content that I am not seeing. Or Oscar content. I've basically never seen quokkas. We were gonna go to the islands. Everyone said, I believe Gail Simone said, you got to go to Quokka Island. And we looked it up and it seemed like such a pain in the ass. Yeah.

Yeah, we didn't want to. But, you and it seemed like such a pain in the ass. Yeah, we didn't want to. But you know, we were traveling a lot at that point. We were tired. That's true. And so we just drove from city to city. Sort of sanctuary. We didn't see Wilbur the pig.

The biggest pig ever who was getting into the popcorn. Wheel boy! Oh yeah. In Santa Barbara, I went to the zoo and they had kangaroos that you could go up to and touch. I mean, you couldn't touch them, but you can go up right next to them just like in the sanctuary we went to. They were roaming free in a certain area and you could be right next to them.

Was there a barrier between you? There was no barrier, but you were told to stay on the sidewalk, but they were right there. I was kind of freaked out by them a little bit. Not that I... Well, the ones at the sanctuary we went to were all injured. They were all injured by cars that had hit them and stuff. There was just something about them being right there that I didn't... I kind of didn't have any kind of frame of reference for that.

Yeah, it was unsettling. It's kind of like, you don't know, I don't know if there's no like animal around here besides like a farm animal that you can like walk right up to and even then you're supposed to kind of be- Keep your distance. What do I do with this creature? No, when we were seeing all the kangaroos,

you could just go up to them and like hug them or put your arm around them like, hey, good buddy. And- You can tell them secrets. Yeah, but it led you to believe like, oh, all of the animals are safe, which is why I got next to the ostrich that attacked me. Yeah, we ever told this story? I'm sure we have.

Oh yeah. Yeah. But you never turn your back on an ostrich. Never. Never again. Scott was taking a selfie and an ostrich pecked him on the head and it's honestly one of the funniest lives I've ever seen. Live. Live photos. Yeah, photos.

The good live photos. Me getting pecked in the head by a fucking ostrich. Yeah. And you know why? Because that ostrich wanted to mate with you, my man. It must have hurt so bad. Why? Because I look like an ostrich?

Is that what you're saying? I don't know. I look like a sexy female ostrich. I'm not making any presumptions about you. Well, he has feathers coming out of his ass and he has a little lipstick on. He was doing a dance. He was doing a mating dance. Was that what that is? Yes. Are you serious?

Yes. I thought it was an attack. No. Oh, he's trying to fuck you. It was a mating dance. And then you turned your- You should be complimented. You literally turned your back on him.

He's like, bitch. And then he pecked you on the head. I feel better now, knowing this. That's really nice. You don't want to get with you. It's not every day an animal wants to get with you. It's flattering, isn't it? It is nice.

I mean, a dog will hump your leg every once in a while. A dog humps your leg, yeah. It's like, oh. Well, thank you, but I mean, a dog will hump your leg every once in a while. Yeah, it's like, oh, well thank you, but I'm taking. I guess I'm still in the game. There's a friend of mine who had a dog who would hump the air next to you. He was a little dog, if you were sitting on the couch,

he would like put his paws on your shoulder and then he would sort of like just hump in the air. That's weird. Oh, that reminds me of the thing that Connor told us about the show Empire. Oh yeah. There was a character on this show who had a relationship with this woman. An entire season long relationship with a woman. Where they had a tempestuous relationship.

And they were fighting, but then they would have sex, all this kind of stuff. Then eventually it's revealed she never existed. What? And then you see all of these things. He's doing them alone? Yes. He's doing them alone, including having sex.

What? So I have to look it up and see. Is that a comedy? No. What? But I have to look up just at least him like dry humping the air, like this dog. So they went back to revisit all the scenes

that they had together and shot them with just him, like in a kitchen yelling at nobody. Do you think maybe they knew that was gonna be a reveal at some point and they had him do that back then? Probably not. Yeah, no, I think so. Really? I think that was planned.

I bet that they- Because they were only ever in scenes together. Nobody else was ever down. Oh, it was planned, but to your point, do you think they filmed it right next to each other where you had sex with her and then he, all right, let's do the not- Does that be really funny?

Let's do the without her take. Yeah. And then he just kind of went, whoa, whoa. Could you ask everybody to leave, please? They can say what I'm doing with her. I would rather be nude in front of a thousand people than do this.

And up here going boing, boing, boing. Is that what he said during the sex scene? Boing, boing, boing. Yep. Wow, wow, wow, boing, boing, boing. Is that what you said during the sex scene? Boing, boing, boing. Yep. Wow, wow, wow, boing, boing, boing. Sex is fun. I have yelled that during sex. Wow, wow, wow, boing, boing, boing, wow, wow, wow.

You've yelled that during sex, sex is fun. I yell sex is fun. Sex is natural. So like my neighbors know. Never yelled that. Sex is fun. It's unnatural. Sex is one caveat, it's best when it's one-on-one.

That's not even true, George Michael. No. Wow. I don't think people use that. It's great to fuck around. Everybody knows it. Yeah. All right. We have to take a break. No. We have to, Lauren.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Meet us on the other side? Yeah. Okay. Doop. What? Did you hear that? I don't, I think I heard something. What did you hear?

I heard a cha-ching? Cha-ching, yeah, it sounded exactly like that. Like on a monopoeia. Here's what I know. What's that? That is the sound of a sale from your Shopify store. Oh Of course, that's what's happening. They have already helped millions of people sell online around the world, but Scott You're a bit of an ignoramus. Did you know Shopify can be your point of sale system everywhere online in store on social media and beyond?

Well, I may be an ignoramus, but I know that Shopify is a point of sale system that makes it easy to manage payments, inventory and orders. In fact, they have everything you need, Paul. Starting a business is already hard enough. Don't you agree? Oh, sing it, sister. Shopify makes your point of sales effortless by tracking your business all in one place. Scott, can I tell you something I love?

What's that? You can connect with customers in line and online too. Both types of lines. Shopify helps you drive store traffic with marketing campaign tools from TikTok, Instagram, and more. You know, we love the sound of something that's both a powerhouse software system.

Oh my God, yes. But that's only half of it. You talk about this all the time. I know, but that's both a powerhouse software system. Oh my god, yes. That's that's all the time. That's only half the equation because the other half is it's also easy to use and seamless. While we ourselves haven't sold anything on Shopify yet, we have a ton of friends, 2000 pounds worth who have and they love it. They love it as much as I despise seams. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash freedom. All lowercase. Don't you uppercase that.

Oh, you better make it all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash freedom to take your retail business to the next level today. Shopify.com slash freedom. I think there's a reason they call it a health journey, right? It's because these things take time and any program you're on should not be selling some one-size-fits-all fix to all your nutritional questions. Weight Watchers has been the trusted authority in this space for decades.

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one-on-one consultations with a registered dietician, and medication management, such as support navigating medication shortages, all through the Weight Watchers app. Weight Watchers fits your needs, whether it's through their clinically proven points program or for those that medically qualify, access to doctor prescribed weight loss medications

and registered dietitians in Weight Watchers clinic. See how Weight Watchers fits you at WeightWatchers.com. That's WeightWatchers.com. This message is brought to you by the Cologuard test. The American Cancer Society recommends that if you are at average risk, you should begin screening for colon cancer at age 45, no matter your race, ethnicity, or gender.

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The Coligard test is available by prescription only. We're back. We're so back. We are so back. It feels like, yeah, I'm thinking we're back. Remember, Tom Wick? Tom Wick? Yeah, Tom Wick. No, I don't remember that.

Who did you say? Who do you think I said? I have no idea. John Wick. Oh, John Wick, oh, okay. Have you not seen the John Wick Chronicle? I actually have seen John Wick one, at least. Yeah you not seen the John Wick Chronicles? I actually have seen John Wick one at least. Yeah, I was so sure.

I was thinking on back. I was so sure that you said Tom. I was trying to think of like what rhymes with Wick instead of going the other way. Slick, Tom Slick. Tom Slick, Tom. There was a character named Tom Slick. Yeah, what was he in?

It's like some old ancient cartoon. Yeah, like a, not a cartoon or, I thought it was more like a Penny Dreadful or something. A Penny Dreadful? You thinking of Tom Swift and his electric robot or whatever the fuck? Oh, Tom Slick. No, that can't be it. Who am I singing?

You're singing what I just sang. I'm singing High Hopes. High Hopes. Here's the Tom Slick theme song. Yes, but first an ad. No ad on this one. They're not monetizing. They don't care.

Tom Slick, Tom Slick. Let me tell you why. He's the best of all good guys. Tom Slick, Tom Slick. And the thunderbolt will slap her once he's on your tail. He won't quit because you know there's no such word as fail to come to us. No such word as fail.

Here's the deal with theme songs of TV shows. Yeah, let's get into it. No, no, so we got to talk about that. Let's teach the controversy. They've done away with them now because they think that people don't have the patience to sit through them. But people want a song. I used to enjoy the theme songs, sometimes more than the actual show. I had CDs that I made of just theme songs that I would listen to in my car.

That you made? Yes. How would you make them? Mixed CDs. You burn them. But I mean, you burn them from what? Napster. Limewire.

I forgot about Napster and Lime wire. I forgot about Napster and lime wire. I loved it. But yeah, I mean, nowadays it's like you'll watch a show and it'll be 24, very popular show now. And it'll be like, bleep, bleep, bleep. That's a good, I like that theme song though. That is pretty good. Yeah, it's in my head a lot.

It's a waste to not have a song. Or the Rachel Maddow theme song, which is just crumpling up a piece of paper going. Shhh, shsh, ksh. Ksh, ksh, ksh. Ksh, ksh, ksh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I also feel like they're taking away

from the people making the show a way to fill time. I was gonna say with like a multicam, they should still have a theme song. That explains the story of the show. Yes. That's the best. Or how the characters feel about each other. There's enough people that would think that was great

that I don't understand why they don't do that. Yeah. It's purely just a, you know. Gotta land it. Girls 5 Eva has a theme. It's true, it does. That's true, yeah. You're right, and I enjoy it.

And it does get stuck in my head. Yeah. Dramas, a lot of times, your prestige dramas will have an opening, a title sequence. Yeah, like SVU. Do they have one? We talked about the ER theme Prestige dramas the prestige. Yes all the dramas about the proceed what's one? Like the first one comes to mind is when we never skipped which was pachinko

great opening sequence. Severance has a good opening sequence. Yes. Dong, dang! I just, I just. Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing. So good. That's succession.

That's not that. What were you saying? Severance. I just watched all of Severance. What'd you think? No spoilers. I thought it was good. I was excited to see more.

I liked it too. It was a slow burn for me. I wasn't sure about the first few episodes and then I really got into it. Yeah, you have to kind of just get into the world of it. Yeah, yeah. That was sort of the H... Oh, the Game of Thrones has one, obviously. That was sort of the HBO Netflix house style of let's do a CGI title sequence

and then with a song playing over. So like, Daredevil. Yeah, Daredevil, yeah, Mad Men, stuff like that. But it seems to- Mad Men kind of pioneered that, I think, that animated opening that a lot of dramas do. And the worst one, The Morning Show. Which is just-

I watched that a while ago, but I don't remember what it was. Is it John Legend doing it? No. Oh my baby. What did you see? Oh my baby. Hello my baby. Hello my baby.

That seems weird for the tone. Hello my morning show. Let's hear a little bit of the morning show. That would be the name of that frog is. Michigan's day. No, I was gonna find it. But I was gonna say Walter Goggins. An Apple original.

Or as a friend of mine once referred to him, Google Watkins. Thank you. This is Morning Show? Yeah. I find this fun. The song is good. You know what it is. But the visual is a bunch of dots.

Oh, right. It doesn't make, I don't get what you're supposed to get out of it. Right. I guess the dots have tension with each other, like the characters have tension with each other. But do you know what I think it is? That's just a show. Dots. Oh, right. It doesn't make I don't get what you're supposed to get. Right I guess the dots have tension with each other like the characters, but you know what? I think it is a show. I know I feel like you need a theme song because when you win awards

You need to have an orchestra play If I held my breath on yeah, don't say that to me I would have died a thousand times. Who is this? I can't remember. I looked it up. I like the song. I like it too.

Sounds British. What are you gonna do, man? I don't know. What are you gonna do? Sometimes it works. Most times it works. Sometimes it don't. So like name a sitcom from the last few years.

Okay, Not the Office, because we all know that theme song. And can we name any? You know what, there are, but you know, those are all, they all started 20 years ago, all the ones that I'm talking about. Yeah. So if there's anything that started in the last 10 years. So like Abbott Elementary though, like do they have a theme song? They have a little theme, but I think it's more like a little opener.

I don't think it's a theme. So it's like a little theme, but I think it's more like a little opener. I don't think it's like a little sting kind of thing. Yeah. And also sting should sing a sitcom theme song. Abbott Elementary. Do you remember how long the mash theme song was and how the horns go fucking crazy at one point? It honestly, it was the way to make you turn the TV off

if you were a kid. That's such a generational thing. It's really wild. Because you loved it. Yeah, it was because I remember watching it in prime time. And then in syndication, it was a comfort watch to me. But you know what? I don't think I could watch it again.

Yeah. I think I watched all of it too many times. I never saw any of these episodes, but I saw them on Hulu and I started watching LA Law. Oh, wow. And just because I was like, you know what? I was too young when it came out and I would read, they were constantly writing about LA Law

and the LA Times or something. Oh, absolutely. You know, it was just one of these things where like everything about LA Law, that was constantly written about. So I was like, let's check this out. And it got to the point where like, I think I got about 11 deep or something like that. And cool up was like, what are you going to do tonight?

Watch LA law. Wow. I was like, why am I watching? What an indictment. What are you going gonna do tonight? Watch LA Law? It's very funny because like, it's the Corbin Berntzins part in the pilot,

he is a sleazy divorce lawyer. And it's purely just so they could write this exciting scene in the very beginning where someone that he fucked, like a husband that he was representing the wife who he fucked over, comes in and pulls a gun on him, right? It's just purely like titillating scene. And then about three episodes in, they're like, we ran out of divorce lawyer stories.

So he becomes an entertainment law guy. What? Well, that makes more sense for- It makes more sense for LA law. But then he like pitches it to the partners. He's like, I was really thinking that I could get into entertainment law. OK, he hasn't studied it or knows anything about it.

And they're all like, we don't need that at our firm. Weird. It would be interesting. It would maybe be more justified if he said, hey, look, I don't want people pulling guns on me anymore. Yeah, exactly. I keep fucking all these people. Yeah, no, he got into it by representing

a woman who was in the business and was getting divorced from her producer husband, and she wanted like a percentage of this thing they worked on together, and he studied really hard. Aw, good for him. And yeah, but it was just- Sounds kind of boring. The way I'm telling it-

I'm a cool upside. You fucked up. I stopped, but should I get back into it? LA Law, though, I would have thought LA Law was about cops. I wouldn't have thought it was a lawyer. That's a good point. It is though, back in those three channel days, when you had a show like that, that was a big hit

and critically acclaimed, you never stopped hearing about it. Yeah. The Venus Butterfly. Hill Street Blues, remember Hill Street Blues? Yeah, that was the same, Botchko. That's right, it was a Botchko! I wonder how, well, that would hold up. I never saw that either, so.

Which one? I loved it, I watched all of it. Hill Street Blues? Oh, yeah. Wait, that's- Come on, Daniel J. Trevante? Isn't that guy from, I don't know, is it an actor on that who went on to do another cop show? Franz, I feel like- Was he on it? He definitely was on on Biloxi Blues or whatever about the minor league baseball team that Boczko did that only lasted a season.

I forgot about that. Is Boczko a person's name or a company? Steven Boczko. OK. Yeah. Famously angered Chevy Chase to the point where he walked off of politically incorrect. Wow. Really, what did he do?

I think Chevy Chase was trying to, like, sort of condescend to Stephen Boczko about TV or something. And then Stephen Boczko just, you know, like with a couple sentences got under his skin so bad. He was like, stood up, took the mic off, you know, like with a couple sentences, got under his skin so bad. He was like, stood up, took the mic off, you know, that kind of thing. It's really funny. Why? Can you imagine yourself doing that?

Being on Politically Incorrect? No. My opinions are a little too out there for that show. Oh, man. Well, you know, you did you did go off on us one time. Yeah. That was true. That was a good time. Yeah. That was a good time. Yeah, it was a good time. Can you imagine being a guest on Club Random? Like the Hawk To A Girl?

Yeah. Oh, that's that. Oh yeah. Oh, that's that. I saw some clips of this and I didn't know what was going on. So I saw him talking to a young girl and then I Googled who she was and then it was the Hawk To A Girl.

And I was like, is this a Cash Me Outside situation? Yeah, it is. I'm so surprised that you, of all people, have missed this. Yeah, I kept hearing about Hawk Tua and I put it together pretty quickly, but I was wondering why it happened. And I'm really confused that that's the origin is that girl.

Yeah. And now she's got her own show and she's got some shit going down. I don't know what, probably has merch. I don't know what probably has merch. Oh, I'm sure she has merch. But she refused to do an OnlyFans we were told. Yeah. Good.

Because she could make millions and millions of dollars on it and decided not to. But she doesn't have like- Could she make millions? Yeah, probably. Is she, I don't know about her. Did she just talk about Huk Tua? Yes.

So she's not, on OnlyFans she wouldn't be doing actions involving- But I think someone with that level of fame at this point in time could probably make millions of dollars. You should capitalize on that. Like the Cash Me Outside is, right? She is rich. Right.

What? She somehow made- She's got 20 million dollars, what's her name? She made music, she made. What's her name? She made music. She made... She changed her name to Cash Me Off. How about that?

She made merch. Bad Barbie. Bad, bad, is it Bad Bobby? B-A-H... Bahad Bahabi. Bahad Bahabi? Bahad Bahabi. Net worth comes up right away.

Oh, thank God. And those are always true. 25 million. Those are always true. 25? That can't be Well, if we're just getting it from that. No, but I also have to say she probably has she made 49 million in 2021. Wow. This is Forbes saying this in 2021. How old is that? Mean, I know, because I do feel like that's older. It is older, but she how did she make 49 million? What does she do? I think I believe it is older, but she... How did she make 49 million? What did she do?

I think from OnlyFans. OnlyFans? Yeah, I think so. 49 million? Yeah. Wow. She posted like a receipt of it on Instagram or something like that once of like what she made one year or whatever.

It was crazy. It's $24 a month and you can get lingerie and bathing suit photos of her. Why are we promoting it? We're merely describing it. Sounds like an ad. Merely describing it. But yeah, 49 million in one year. Oh no. Okay. I'm going to do an OnlyFans where I walk into stuff.

I mean, I would be, I'd be one of yourFans where I walk into stuff. I mean. I would be, I'd be one of your subscribers. Somebody out there. I'd be like, oh fuck. There's no sexual content whatsoever. No, I would just laugh at it. No, I'd just stub my toe like, Jesus. God damn it.

I like it. But the hawk to a girl talking to Bill Maher is so good. Yeah, it's crazy. Cause he's. So does he smoke weed on so good. Yeah, it's crazy. Cause he's... So does he smoke weed on this program? Yeah, that's the whole thing. Okay, I've only seen some clips. And he was upset at Steve-O, or no, Steve-O was upset

because he said, hey, I'm in recovery, can you not smoke weed during the thing? And he was like, no. What? Don't come on the show then. Yeah. Oh, that's upsetting. And Steve-O was like, it worked.

Yay. Now I don't have to go on Club Random. Why didn't he just spoke before? He's a Hollywood bad boy. He wants us to see it. He wants us to see it. He wants to see it. That's his kink.

Jiminy Glick is back, or he was a few weeks ago, and he was doing so much funny shit, and he had a great interview with Bill Maher. It was actually very funny. Yeah. And you could tell that Bill Maher. It was actually very funny. And you could tell that Bill Maher was trying to enjoy it. He didn't know which way to go because I think sometimes when people are being made fun of

but he was laughing, which was good, but I think sometimes people don't know if they should be pretending to be offended. I also think there's a certain type of- The laughing felt a little false to me. Having done a million of these types of interviews. Yeah, I guess you would know a little something about that. The wrong way to go is to try to like, in your mind,

cause you can see certain people in their minds going like, how do I regain dominance in this conversation? Yes, exactly. And that is the wrong thing to do. You gotta sit there and laugh and enjoy it and- Yeah. You have to treat them where, cause I do sometimes on my show,

I'll do a character and interview somebody and I tell them, just treat me like I'm a benign weirdo. You realize you're dealing with somebody who is not normal and you're just trying to be polite. Yeah. I would always say like, you just cannot get wrong, go wrong rather with like being slightly offended by what people are saying.

Yeah. Like that's the classic and you'll always come out looking great with that. Yeah. You know what I mean? But it's when people start to go like, well, I'm going to insult you back. That's not funny. No. Although Steve Carell did want to do that in the Between Two Ferns that we did.

And he was very, and he was very funny because we wrote him insults for Zach and he got very into it. And it's a very funny episode. But you kind of have to plan that. Yes, exactly. Yeah. You can't only be off the cuff being like, well, you're stupid. It's like, that's not going to work. It's pretty funny actually. Although it's kind of good.

I like that. It's good. You're stupid. Honestly, if somebody said that to Jim and E. Clay, you're stupid. Would're stupid. Honestly, if somebody said that to Jiminy Glip, you're stupid. Would it deflate him? No, I don't think it would work with Jimmy. Literally? I feel like it wouldn't work with Jimmy Glip, but I feel like it would work with Zack.

He suddenly becomes Martin Short. Does it kill him? Because it all just conforms then to his... He's like suffocated. It squeezes it like a python, right? Anaconda, which one squeezes you? I think a python squeezes you. I saw Martin Short, Jiminy Glick live.

Fun. It was very fun. Where was that? Up in Canada, he did a, he had like a local weather person, I think, as his guest. Oh, wow. And he just was very- It was like at like Just For Laughs or something? It was part of his one person show at the Vancouver Comedy Festival that we-

Boa Constructor. Ended up not getting paid for. It's in the fucking name. The one show I've ever done. Why did you not get paid for? Because they went out of business and didn't pay anyone. I always wondered, did Martin Short get paid? Yeah.

But it was his one person show. So it was sort of like- That'd be my dream to watch that. I always wondered, did Martin Short get paid? Yeah. But it was his one person show. So it was sort of like- That'd be my dream to watch that. I love him. I love hearing him talk. I think his voice is just so soothing. Holly loves Frankenweenie, which is a Tim Burton movie that he voices the dad in.

And we watched it a hundred times. And I love hearing him voice. What are your voices to that? Martin Short. I didn't know that. Yeah, it's the whole cast is Catherine O'Hara, Martin Short. I can't think of any of course right now.

Dang. Eugene Levy. I don't think he's in it. John Candy. No. Robin Duke. Just the two of them really. Joe.

I know. What's his name? God damn it. He had a very sad story that guy. Oh why, what happened to him? He kind of went, he was mentally ill. He had real problems. That's too bad. Oh, why? What happened to him? He kind of went, he was mentally ill. He had real problems. That's too bad.

Yeah. Who? He was a SCTV cast member. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. Trying to remember. He was on SNL briefly too. Joe, I can't remember his name. It's very sad.

He did the Marchello, the chef. Joe DiMaggio. No. That's a famous baseball player? No. I looked it up, SCTV Joe DiMaggio. No, that's a famous baseball player? No, I'm looked it up, SCTV Joe DiMaggio. And he looks a little like Joe Flaherty, but. What's happening?

Tony Rosado. Tony Rosado, yes. Tony Rosado. Y'all lost me. No, Joe DiMaggio. Right here? I'm looking at him right now. He's black in my picture, he's wearing a baseball uniform, obviously one of his characters. What's kind of like Joe's hair, dude? There's a picture of him with somebody playing Marilyn Monroe. Actually, I think it's Bill Murray playing him.

Oh yeah, that was a very funny sketch. What was it about me? DiMaggio's on the wharf. Bill Murray playing Joe DiMaggio opens a restaurant and he has somebody pitch a baseball and he swings at them and if you catch the baseball, then you eat for free. And is it just him breaking a lot of stuff?

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. Yeah, it's great. I love it. And keeping track of who ate what and how much they owe. Right. Right. Um, Lauren, would you know famous baseball players if,

Uh, Darrell Strawberry. If they bit you on the ass. If Paul names three people and two of them are famous baseball players and one's a fake person. Okay, take your time so you can put them in a order that makes you happy. Okay. Yeah.

Paul is closing his eyes. He's thought his mind palace. Okay. All right. I'm going to name three. You identify the fake one. The fake one. Mike Schmidt, Greg Lazinski, Don Tollefson.

I don't know this. I'm gonna say, now I'll tell you my first instinct and then I'll tell you what I'm gonna say. My first instinct was that the first two were both baseball players. What I'm gonna say is the second one is not. Interesting. Okay, and is there a reason? It just sounded like it. At the end, once I heard Tollefson, I thought I could see that on the back of him.

Yeah. But the middle one, I couldn't see that. I could see it. Well, honestly, it sounded like a hockey player. Hmm. What was the second one? Greg Lazinski. Greg Lazinski. I can't see that. How do you spell it? I can't see it on someone's back. That looks like a hockey jersey. Okay. What are you going to say?

I have not heard of Lissinski or Tollefson. I'm going to go with Tollefson just to be different from her. And what are you going to say? She already said Lissinski. She already said Lissinski is the fake one. Yeah. You say Tollefson is the fake one. I say Tollefson is the fake one. It's probably Schmidt.

You are right. You are wrong. Damn it. Scott was You say Tollison. I say Tollison. It's probably Schmidt. You were right. You were wrong. Damn it. Scott was right. The listener doesn't know who you pointed at. You should have, yes. You should have gone with your first instinct.

So Tollison, my first instinct was correct. How interesting is that? Okay. I'm going to name three real housewives. Okay. Yes. I like this. Okay.

I have to think. Let me write, I have to write it down because I'm gonna lose track of what I'm talking about. Yeah. I need to get last names in my head. This is a pre-three-ture three-ture. Yeah. Yeah, this is exciting. Scott, you have to think of a category now. I'm working on it right now.

Oh, okay, man. All right! I'm just trying to make a suggestion. Don't worry, keep it in the air. Lauren is thinking. Keep it in the air, keep it in the air. Lauren is thinking. Keep it in the air, keep it in the air. Very hard.

Everybody has to keep it in the air. She's thinking very, very intently. She really is. She's writing things down. She's writing things down and she's coming up with things. And now. Okay, now I'm going to read them to you. Here are three Real Housewives. Tell me who's not a Real Housewife. Brandy Granville, Mel Azuma, Kim Zolciak. I have mine locked in. I have mine locked in. Answers? Let's hold it up at the same time.

One two or three. Okay. One two three. You both said two. Yeah. You're both right. We're both right. Is that a person? No, I made it up. Oh nice. Yeah. What's the name again? Mel Azuma. Mel Azuma. Don Tollefson was a reporter in Philadelphia. Was he the sports guy on Action News? He may have been. I think he was. Okay, you want to do one, Scott? Yep.

What's your category? New Wave Bands. Okay. Okay, ready? Paul, you'll probably know these. We'll see. Okay, ready, Lauren? Yes. Ultravox,

Hazy Phantasy, The Funzoners. Three is not real. I'll say the same thing. You are both correct. Yay! Did you know the first two were- No.

You just thought the Funzoners sounded fake? There was something about how you said it that I thought you almost wanted to smile. All right, we have to take a break. Bye. We'll be back with a real three-cher. N-n-n-n-n-n. That was just an appetizer.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Is it, Paul? Really? I've made the pronouncement. You said that so seriously. Because therapy is a serious business. That's right. Well, in our busy lives, mental health often takes a back seat.

That's right. That's right. Without a car seat. You know what I mean. Whether it's work, family, or personal commitments, finding time for yourself can be tough. Yeah, therapy though, I tell you, it can make a big difference. It's self-care, but it's non-negotiable. It's a self-care non-negotiable. Exactly. It's non-negotiable for your self-care, but it's non-negotiable. It's a self-care non-negotiable.

Exactly. It's non-negotiable for your self-care. When your schedule is packed with kids' activities, big work projects, and more, it's easy to let your priorities slip, but then you feel like you have no time for yourself. You need non-negotiables like therapy. It's more important than ever in a time like that. Can I give a personal experience? Sure.

Yeah, I guess. In therapy... Tell us everything you've told your therapist. Okay, you ready? Yeah. In therapy, I've learned so much about coping skills and setting boundaries, and I definitely am a huge fan and recommend it to everyone, and that is true. Very good. All right. Well, BetterHelp is an online platform that makes therapy accessible and convenient. You can do it from the comfort of your own home on a schedule that works just for you. So here's all you have to do. Fill out a brief questionnaire. These things are brief. They're half a sentence at best to get matched with. That might not be strictly true. And you'll get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists anytime

at no additional charge if you need to. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com slash Freedom to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Freedom. Are you a pop culture connoisseur with strong opinions? Join us on Pop Culture Debate Club, a new podcast from Lemonada Media and the BBC. Each week, two pop culture experts battle it out to convince me, Aminatou So, that their opinion reigns supreme. What is the greatest sports movie of all time? Who made the most delicious on-screen meal?

Tune in every Thursday to find out. Pop Culture Debate Club is out now wherever you get your podcasts. From Lemonada Media and the BBC. We're back. of Media and the BBC. We're back. A feature of the game that we like to play. It is also known as a buster. So what's this buster?

This buster is called Pitch A Sip Song. We were talking about this before and so it just seems apropos. So what we're going to do is one of us. It seems a propus. A propus. Oh great It seems a propus. A propus. Oh great God, a propus. Smile down upon my crops. Our cropus.

Someone, we give a name of a song. And someone, and we don't know who. We don't know who. Someone, we give a name of a song. Someone gives a name of a song and someone else pitches a sitcom based on the song. No, it's not that way. No, well, this, you're thinking of the different one.

This is Pitch a Sit Song. So someone gives a name of a real song. Yes. Then the person pitches a sitcom based on that song. The person who pitched the song title has to come up with the theme song to the show? Then why is it a song to a show to a song? Because you take the name of the title of the song

and then what would the sitcom about about that song based on that title be? And then you do a song. Then you do an original song that is the theme song to that show. That's fine with me. Okay, great.

Thank you for making this easy. I'd be happy to play. I like. Okay, great. Thank you for making this easy. I'd be happy to play. I like your bag, darling. Thank you. You're welcome. All right, the first song is, I Did It My Way. Okay.

I mean, the song's just called My Way. My Way parentheses. I did it. I did it. I think there's the- Parentheses, did I do that? No, I think the Italian title comes up in it. My Way parentheses I think there's the parentheses. Did I do that? I think the title comes up in it My way the Italian title The French the French title it's my way even worse calm and the heavy today Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it.

Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it.

Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it.

Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it. Come and do it my way, come on. Okay, so I came up with the title, so then who pitches it? So you came up with the title of My Way, parentheses I did it. Thank you.

And- So then Paul, you- Paul, you make up a show based on that and then I sing a song based on the show? Yes. Okay, got it. Okay. Hi, thanks for taking our pitch. Who's our? You're the only one here.

Am I? I guess you imagined that woman and she was never really here. Wait, who are you then? You're the only one here. Am I? I guess you imagined that woman and she was never really here. Wait, who are you then? You've always been pitching alone. Why are you humping the air right now? That's how I pitch. You'll never forget it.

Yeah. I'm here with my partner who, she'll come into play. No. Why can't you be there? She's here with me. You're pitching to us. But she's gonna come up with the No. Why can't you be there? She's here with me. You're bitching to us. But she's gonna come up with the song? Why can't you be there?

She's gonna come up with the song. It does make more sense if I'm part of the pitch. Yes. All right. Why are you acting like I'm crazy? Because there's no one next to you right now. Why would the executive be like, I have a song for that?

I think that's how we used to play. No, it's not. All right. Look, it's just a game. You're thinking of the other one. Well, if I think it's a bust. Well, do it your way. Wait a minute. Speaking of my way.

Okay. Yeah. Oh, who's this? Hello. Hi, I'm a woman who is pitching with him. I'm actually just the singer. Don't mind me. He's got the plot in his mind.

Where do you sing, honey? Out of my mouth hole. My way. My way. It's the story of a man and a woman. Oh, I like this. That's my favorite part. Who occupy the same robotic body. Okay.

Do they take turns? Do they? Well, that's the thing. Okay. They're supposed to take turns, but they get into a lot of fights as to who's going to be in control. So sometimes they'll go to the pool or sometimes they'll go to work or to church or to a picnic. So they worship what God do they worship? The metal God.

Oh, okay. Yeah. So are they the only ones at this church? Because I don't know a lot of metal people running. There's a lot of robots who are only occupied by one single conscious. This robot constantly at war with itself, but in a funny way. Oh, that sounds funny. Yeah. They have fun fights and arguments and stuff like that. And sometimes you'll like this part. Excuse me. The men are talking. Sometimes the you like this part. Did you just assume my gender?

Oh, no. Are you an attack helicopter? So sometimes they'll get into arguments and they'll get into physical fights where one arm will be hitting the other arm. Oh, that's funny. This is like all of me, but robots. All of me meets the iron giant. All of me, but they're both in control at the same time.

Yes, well that, I mean, in All of Me, they sort of wrestled over control. Yeah, but this is different. Where the left side was controlled by Steve Martin. Wasn't a robot, was it? No. But you were saying it's All of me, but they're- You said all of me.

I never said that. But it's more like all of me than it's not. You said that. You said that. Shut the fuck up for a second. Well, wait, you might want to hear what I have to sing. Yeah. By the way, when she does her part,

you're not only going to apologize to me. During her part? Oh no, after you hear what she does, you're gonna apologize to me, then you're gonna quit. And this is, I've seen this happen a thousand times. You're gonna buy the pitch first. Okay. But you're gonna hand it out.

As my last act. Okay. In this job. And you're gonna say to the other people who work here, when I'm done, don't just drop this project because I'm leaving. Okay. You guys keep this going.

Okay. We'll see if that happens. I sincerely doubt it. Consider it a reward for me leaving is how you're gonna phrase it. Okay. And they're gonna say, It's not gonna happen. Thank God we despise you.

It's not gonna happen. It's happened every- One half makes you man and one half makes you woman. Together you're a robot with two different sides. That's what makes you special, but it's also your downfall. I wanna go over here, I wanna go over here. We're pulling in different directions.

I want to go out here. I want to go around here. I'm getting twisted around this pole. Um, stop. I am the man half and I want to watch football. I am the woman half and I want to watch The Bachelor. But they're on at the same time. Are you done now?

But that's part of it too. I am going to this door. I'm going to have to stop you because it's the end of a long day. That's the end actually. That was the end? I'm going to this long door? I'm going to the store. The store. Oh, yeah.

It's the end of a long day. Yeah, end your career. It's five o'clock in your career, bitch. I'm not going to sugar coat this. You're not. I apologize to you. I'm ordering the show and I'm quitting. Yay!

Thank you. I told you. And that's called My Way. All right, great. Now, Paul, you think of a song title. Lauren will pitch it and I'll sing the song. Okay. Let me see if I can beat the title my way.

The region of the game we like to play. And also known as a buster. My name is Nanny McPhee. Always think about what is wrong. My name is Nanny McPhee. I am very ugly. All right, let me find. Find, what are you looking for right now?

I'm looking for a well-known song. Br spark a lot of conversation and a wonderfully funny scene. You're fucking crushing this. That's exactly what I'm doing. Let's do it. as a buster. God damn it. All right. And of course for those of you who can't see, I'm playing one of those little musical note things. Yeah. That everyone loved when they heard it last week.

They absolutely loved it. Everyone loves when they hear it every time. All right. Mm-hmm. Song is, who's, you're gonna do the song? No, she, I'm doing the song, yeah, but. Someone to watch over me. Hi.

Hi. It's great to have you. Great to see you again. We are so happy to see you again. I have been hearing great things about the pair of you and how wonderful you are. No, we met before. And how you're taking the town, what's that?

We met before. We have pitched you four times. Yeah. That doesn't seem true, but I've been hearing that you're just absolutely- Why would we lie about something like that? No, remember last time we came in- I don't think you're lying, I think you just made me mistaken.

No, last time we came in, you were crying because your wife had flooded your bedroom with the toilet overflowing. Yeah, and you pissed your pants because you were crying so hard? And we pitched you a show about monkeys who, they were like in a relationship. It doesn't matter now.

I mean all that is familiar except for the monkeys part, but I will say it's nice to meet you and thank you for coming in. It was the time before that you were screaming because you thought you had bugs in your hair, but you didn't. Yeah, and you would also piss your pants? And you made us look in your hair with a comb. I remember that happening. I just don't remember you two being part of it,

but I hear great things about you. Okay, but the time before that was the time that you were laughing, but it turned into tears because you were remembering a good time with your ex-wife, but then you remember that you were no longer together. And you didn't kiss your pants then, but you made a note and said you were gonna do it that night.

That could be any day. And we pitched you a show about two little girls who are orphans. Yeah. And they watched their parents die in the opening episode. It really seems strange that if these things did happen that I would keep bringing you in after I've rejected you four times. And the first time we came in, you were actually pulling your hair from left to right and trying to make your head go like, you were like, can my head look like it's not on my neck?

And you peed someone else's pants. Yeah, I think it was yours. Yeah, I went home with wet pants. I sorry. And they pitched you a show about a zoo that is open after hours. Information about me and they've done their homework because all this is true.

I just don't remember you two at all. Okay. All right. All right, so this is a show called Someone to Watch Over Me. Go. Okay, that's what I was doing. And-

Let's hear it. That's exactly what I was about to do. You're kind of interrupting the flow, my man. So the show is called Someone to Watch Over Me. This sounds fun, let's go. Okay, I'm going. And it's about this girl who sees angels everywhere she goes.

She's, she, sometimes sometimes will see like a light and she knows it's an angel. And then- What do you mean like a light? Okay, so it's sort of like a refraction. No, like- I know what light is to her. Light, the speed of light.

You know how like a, if you have a mirror on a table, it like reflects a light onto the wall. I know what light is. So that's like what she might see, but she knows- Why are we in the dark right now if you know what light is. So that's like what she might see, but she knows. Why are we in the dark right now, if you know what light is? Because I don't like it. Don't make him cry again, honestly, I can't. Yeah.

You want me to piss your pants? You better shut up. Sorry, I'm losing my... Stop wagging your dick at me. Sorry, I'm... Oh, it's dark, how can you see? Sorry, I'm... Now you know why I keep the lights on.

Sorry, I'm losing... I'm losing... Okay, porky. I'm losing... Stop porky pig. I'm losing track. Why are you laughing? I'm sorry. That's not Forky Pig. I'm losing track. Why are you laughing?

I'm losing track. I think it's funny. No, it's not funny. Calling you Forky Pig. I'm losing track of what I was saying. She sees light. She sees a light. She sees an angel.

No, the girl who's the lead, her name is Angela. Not because she sees angels, but it is a nice coincidence. So she sees angels in the lights and all over the place. And she does see angels. What do they look like? So depending on the size of the light refraction, she sees an angel of that size. So if it's a big one, she's a big one.

If it's a little one, she's a little one. And they fit right inside whatever the light is that she sees and they talk to her and they tell her. This makes sense. They tell her that everything's okay because they are watching her. So they also to her and they tell her. This makes sense. They tell her that everything's okay because they are watching her. So they also let her know when bad things are gonna happen.

Oh, okay, good. And usually they can't stop the bad thing, but they can give her warning so she's able to deal with it. For example, they know she's going to crash into a pole, but they tell her so when she's able to, let her body go limp. So she's just sitting in a living room

and they say, you're gonna crash into a pole at some point. No, it's when she's driving. And she sees the light refraction. And the angels fit in the light refraction. Yeah. If it's a big one, it's a big one. It's a little, little one. Okay.

So you're following. So she, it was like, for example, if she's going to crash into a pole, she's told so that she can let her body go. She lets her body go limp. Cause you have the least injuries. Is this all you do? You just repeat the last thing she said? I also have a theme song.

And for example, like later in Angela's later years, like season four or five, six, because right now she starts at, she's like 12. When she's in like, when she's like 16 and she has a boyfriend, the angel that she sees tells her that her boyfriend's going to cheat on her. She can't stop that from happening. When she's 12? No, but she lets her body go limp. No, when she's 16, this is later seasons.

Okay. I'm kind of setting up for later seasons. Oh, I see. So it starts she's 12 years old. It starts't stop that from happening. But she's 12. No, but she lets her body go later. Later seasons. Okay. I'm kind of setting up for later. So it starts she's 12 years old. It's not she's 12. No boyfriend. Yeah, that's too young. Yeah. And around 16, she has a boyfriend character whose name is Phil. We can get to that later. His name is Phil. His name is Phil. Okay. Um, and we can get into that later. Yeah. His name. No, just about the boyfriend, because it is later season stuff. I'm still trying to kind of build even the pilot right now, but I'm kind of all over the place. That would be like season four or five. So, but anyway, her boyfriend's gonna cheat on her,

but the angel that she sees would just tell her, your boyfriend's gonna cheat on you. She can't stop that from happening, but it does prepare her emotionally for what she's gonna have to go through. You know what, why don't I just let my friend sing a song about it? Here we go, ready?

And this is gonna be at the beginning of, and at the end of every episode. Okay. And maybe in the middle. Well, commercial break. Yeah. Let your body go limp, baby Angela, body go limp. Come on Angela, we want a limp body. When you crash into the pole,

we don't want you to break all of your bones. So let that body go, limp as it can go, and then you will have no little little holes in your body. Body. Angela, your body. You're sexy, you're sexy. Angie, Angie, body. Oh, we love you, Angela.

You're the star of the show. Baby, don't you know? Let your body go, let your body go. Let your body go, let your body go. Let your body go, let your body go. Let your body go, let your body go. Let your body go, let your body go. Let your body go, let your body go. Let your body go, let your body go. Let your body go, let your body. Oh, you Angela, you're the star of the show. Baby, don't you know, let your body go. And it's about a 12 year old girl.

Every episode she is told to let her body go. episode she is told to let her body go loose. Well, that's like, it's actually later seasons because she starts at 12, she can't drive. Look, she just wants to piss my pants now. We know how this is going. Tell me what happens in season 10. Oh, that's a big one. She's 22. She's 22, she gets married really young.

Yeah. It's kind of stressful. Yeah. And she doesn married really young. It's kind of stressful. She's dating this guy who's really toxic and he's just kind of makes her get married. Yeah. But season 10, the song is still Let Your Body Go Limp. Well.

All right, well. Yeah, so the first car crash happens in season four. Okay. The limp stuff doesn't really come into play until four, but it's a song that you get stuck in your head and eventually when that's what that's about. So buy it. He went on a slide. I guess this is our office now. I'm gonna piss all over it.

That's what he likes. Pssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss because we have to make it even. So people out there have a- Okay, right. So I'm the executive, I think. Yes. You know, you come up with the song title. Okay. And then- Which also makes you the executive. Which makes it, yes, yes. And then I pitch and you do the thing.

Okay, and the song title is Dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby dibby The song title is In Between Days. In Between Days. Who sings that originally? The Cure.

The Cure. Hi. Hi. Are you? This is so weird. What is it? Did we used to date? Nope.

Never? Nope. You look so much like an ex-girlfriend right now. What was her name? Sid on three. One, two, three. Grenadine. Sid. My name's Grenadine.

Okay. So her name is Sid? Sid. I'm not that. Hey dude. Yeah. You know this is my wife, right? This is rude.

I'm so sorry. I usually don't take pictures from my husband, but I am doing it today because I thought, look, if we can keep the money in the family, why don't we do it? Exactly. Once I got made an executive at ABC, I thought I should probably just try

to get more money going. I had no idea this was your wife. I'm so sorry. I didn't tell you, I guess. Yeah, it seems like a weird omission, not to tell me that we're getting a pitch. It's a weird omission. Omission. Like a nocturnal gonna pitch. It's a weird emission. Oh, mission.

Like a nocturnal emission? Oh, mission. Emission. Ah, mission. A mission. Can I pitch my show? Can I pitch my show? Can we pitch our show?

Why, mission? It's not our show, it's my show. You're just doing the theme song. You don't think that's, then why am I part of the pitch? If it's not- Because you're married to her. If it's not an integral part of the pitch. Okay, it's not just nepotism that's getting you

in this door. I want him to sell it as well. Thank you, honey. Okay, all right. I will, let's share this. All right, In Between Days is the show. Okay. Terrible title.

You'll, it's fun to think that, but then listen to this. It is fun to think that. I'm having a great time. So you have an ordinary Joe, just a lunch pail Harry, right? And he works at a. Is that a phrase? Is that from It's a Wonderful Life?

I think so. He just worked, he's a. Nobody ever actually calls anybody a lunch pail Harry. It's implied. But it is, yes. Thanks sweetie pie. He works in construction. Did you make dinner for this week?

Yes, I did twinkle toes. Okay it's gonna be soup all week. So he works- Different soup every night. That sounds great. He made a different one for every night but he makes them on Monday. Sounds like a great way to lose weight.

Throw on the freezer right now. Yeah. I'm not trying to lose weight. What are you implying? I'm just saying that I'm sure next time I see you you'll be 10 pounds lighter. Wow, how interesting. Yeah. Amen.

What? Stop. What do you mean? Get off of this. What? Why? Get to the pitch. Okay, sweetie, if your guy can't do this. Honestly, he can. He's going through a hard time right now.

Did you bring my lunchbox? Of course I did. Okay, what's in there? A hair. Thank you. What's his hard time? He, his wife left him because he's gross. It's not that hard. It's obvious. I don't know why she married him.

Well, no, he's her. There's these odor distinct lines coming out. I know. I wish there was a name for them. Me too. Okay. What? What? You don't even know. Okay. Why don't you sing the song? Oh, the pitch? No!

Okay. So it's about a construction worker. He's working on a big tall building. Now, wait a second, I love this. I've never heard of a show like this. Okay, it's the tallest building in the world. Taller than that one in Dubai. So it's like the office, but they're building the office. This is just the first 30 seconds.

Okay. Okay. He's gone up so high in the atmosphere, he finds a tear in the universe. Typical. Where he finds extra days. You know how there are only seven days of the week? He finds one in between Monday and Tuesday that he calls Moose Day.

He finds one in between Tuesday and Wednesday that he calls Slim. He finds one, and you know, there's just seven extra days. Keep going. What are they called? Well, one between Wednesday and Thursday that he calls My Day. One between Thursday and Friday, that he calls Hello.

One between Friday and Saturday, that he calls Juan. And one between Saturday and Sunday, that he calls Holy Day. And one between Sunday and Monday, that he calls Ijule. That's really interesting. Yeah. So he finds all these days and he's like, Oh my God, no one knows about all these days, right? Right.

Now there are no other people because they haven't found these days. So he goes around in these days, like just kind of taking care of all of his errands. Okay. So he's going to the store. There's no one working at the store because no one knows about these days. So he just takes everything he needs and he leaves money on the counter. He's polite that way. We like him.

Okay. He has to be likable. He's very likable and he's very funny. That's one thing you should know about. Is he cute? He's also cute in a way that's not threatening. That's perfect. Okay.

So he finds all these extra days and he's just taking care of so much business. He's like picking up his dry cleaning. He's always leaving money on the counter for these people. I could use a wand if I'm being honest. Yeah. That's one of the days. Yes, that's right. I know. I know. I know. Anyway, so it's basically a guide doing errands. It's like Superstore, but from the customer's point of view, it sounds good. Okay, sing the song. Are you ready for this? Yeah.

You probably heard me singing this in the shower. Oh my God. This is what it is. He puts a microphone in the shower and the speaker plays into my office. Everybody needs an extra day every now and then. Everybody wants to know how am I gonna see my very best friend?

It's in between days where you fall into a ravine. It's in between days when you know what I mean. You gotta climb out in between those days where you will never ever know the purple haze of being high, high, high. You gotta get high, high, high. I mean, your eyes turn red and your mouth goes dry. Cause you gotta get high, high, high. I said I am a three days. And the clapping goes on for another five minutes.

But I'm just cutting it short. Excuse me. You're excused. Dude. I've never heard you sing that in the shower. Are you maybe singing that at your girlfriend's house? Oh, fuck. Oh my God.

She knows about your girlfriend? Yeah. Thanks for making dinner all week. You're sleeping on the couch. Where's he eating dinner? That being said, I'm gonna buy this. Thank you. You're buying it? That song was stupendous.

Thank you, honey. It was actually stupendous. Oh, you know what? I'm gonna leave my girlfriend. Yes. I knew I just had to land on the perfect pun. I'm gonna buy it for 10 seasons. Okay, for what? 10 seasons. 10 seasons, great.

10 seasons, great. I'm gonna buy it for 10 seasons. 10 seasons. 10 seasons. 10 seasons. 10 going to buy it for 10 seasons. Okay. For what? 10 seasons. 10 seasons.

Great. Okay. We'll take 10 seasons. Do you think you have the longevity? I'm dying in probably two years. Can we fit 10 seasons within two years? We'll replace you. No, that's part of my contract.

Okay. Irreplaceable. We'll get's part of my contract. Okay. Irreplaceable. We'll get it done in two years, whatever. To the left, to the left. Sweetie, I'm lying to him, okay? Good, thank God. I just wanna have a singing career. Does he know that we are dating yet?

No. I just wanna have a singing career. I don't wanna do TV. You're doing great. Once your theme song takes off, you're gonna be on all the shows. Thank you. Thank you for believing in me. You're going to have him sing every single theme song of every single show?

No, I just mean he's going to be on talk shows, doing the songs. All of an OnlyFans. All right. What are we, little pispies? If you would like to send us a buster, write to threedomusa at gmail.com. If you would like to leave us a voice message asking us a question on a conversational prompt, you can do so by going to hagclaims8.com,

the website where you can leave a voice message. That's right, and if you wanna hear the entire archive of every episode we've ever put out, that's a CBB World. And you know you do. And you know, if you're on CBB world and you're a subscriber, you also hear our Thremium episodes, which are every other Wednesday. And you can also hear those by subscribing

to Lemonade, a premium. And Tuesdays we have our three visiting on the twos, which are old episodes. If you're not a subscriber, we re-release them every Tuesday. And we call that three visiting on the twos, very cute. And then come out and see Paul and I on tour on the Comedy Bang Bang Tour.

Yeah, come on. We're gonna be, first of all, Lauren just did a couple of shows. It was unprecedented. People lost their goddamn minds. Is that true? People went nuts. That must've been cool.

What a surprise. Wow. And we're gonna be out in- For them. We're gonna be out in the UK and also Ireland at the beginning of September. Scotland, England, Ireland, back to England. The United Kingdom and Ireland, not so United.

And then we're also gonna be on the East Coast. We're doing Montreal, Troy, New York. Marlowe! New Haven, Connecticut. When is that? That's in October. And also we're doing Red Bank, New Jersey and Tarrytown, New York.

Yeah. That's gonna be fun. In October. It's gonna be a lot of fun. Come out and see us. It's gonna be a good day. All those tickets are at cbbworld.com slash tour. And guys, I had a great time with you today.

Same. Same. It was awesome. Let's continue doing the show. It's a fun podcast. I've decided. I have fun doing it. Great, can't wait. We're gonna do another episode next week, I've decided.

Okay. Okay. Oh, Rachel Maddow. Bye. ["Spring Day"] Hi everyone, Gloria Rivera here, and we are back for another season Hi, everyone. Gloria Riviera here, and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's child care crisis.

This season, we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that childcare is not an isolated issue but one that influences all facets of American life. Season 4 of No One is Coming to Save Us will be available August 22nd wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Sam Smith and welcome to The Pink House. I love being in The Pink House with you. you get your podcasts. It was my escape, it was my happy place. The Pink House from Lemonada Media is out now.

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