Threedom - SAY THAT!

Episode Date: September 19, 2024

Paul, Lauren, and Scott discuss a monologue, going somewhere every day, and state fair food before playing Cursory Rhyme. Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.com. Get Threedom��merch at comedybangbangworld.com/merch. Follow us on Instagram @ThreedomUSA. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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I'm Dr. Lorie Santos, host of the Happiness Lab podcast. As the US elections approach, it can feel like we're angrier and more divided than ever. But in a new, hopeful season of my podcast, I'll share what the science really shows that we're surprisingly more united than most people think. We all know something is wrong in our culture, in our politics, and that we need to do better and that we can be better. Listen on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Serena!

Serena! Oh, mom. Serena! Serena! I feel like I didn't turn it up as loudly as I used to. As loudly as possible. It was good. It was probably good, but I heard all the shouting.

I was suddenly aware of all of the shouting in a way that I didn't shout on that one. I just said very calmly, freedom. Isn't that fun? I tried to get the reports back to you, but it wouldn't be possible. I tried to turn it up as loud as I can, but it might not be possible. Will you point one finger, four fingers, point back at yourself? I'm trying to get those papers back to you, but it might not be possible. Alright, Wednesday.

The one who asked me to come here is the papers. You have to sign the papers. Welcome to freedom. I want to get a paper master, but I don't know if it's possible. This is Lauren. This is raining. This is Lauren. This is Scott. This is Lauren and Scott. And that's Paul.

And he is a king among men. He is risen, saying loud and proud, Jesus Christ is Lord. Nice. Thank you. That song rocks. It is nice that he's Lord, too. My freaking sock song. I'm so glad he's Lord, finally.

I'm glad he's Lord. Everybody's got to know that Jesus Christ is the Lord. I want to say a little shout out to your business, your small business, that these comedy bang bang t-shirts are a great quality, very soft. Snuggly soft. Thank you. It's like a perfect vintage tee. I just want to say that. This is ideal.

I guess they're high quality tees. Bye, Ezzy. Like worn to perfection. This is how to make a shirt. Lauren, we just gave Lauren a shirt. And so, she- This is how you make a shirt. Yes, you earned it, you earned it, sorry.

I earned it, I earned it. I haven't received shirt one from this tour. Do you want one? No. I didn't think so. Neither do tour. Do you want one? No, I didn't think so. Neither do I. But what about the England's, you're gonna have a different shirt for that?

What about the England's? But we thought you didn't care. But there's a different shirt for each leg? Well, that was gonna be the end of it, and then we added England's and the other ones. So we're making new shirts for that. That's really fun. But we thought you didn't care, so we gave you this one.

I do care. I care because I'm in this one. That's what I mean. I thought you didn't care. So we gave you this one. I do care. I care because I'm in this one. That's what I mean. I said, Lauren just wants the date she was in. But does it look like this? Yeah. Oh, so it's the same shirt.

Same shirt, just as that. Why didn't you make a special one with just the two dates that Lauren did? Yeah, why didn't you make a special one? At the very bottom of the bag. Why didn't you do that? Why is this like this? Why didn't you do that?

What if I put a big Ghostbusters sticker on it with just the circle crossing all the other dates? That would be perfect. Put a big sticker on it. Put a big sticker on it. This is great. I put a big Ghostbusters sticker on it with just the circle crossing all the other Stick on this is great. I'm very excited about it. Yes, so Lauren's wearing a Not the shirt that she's talking about but she's referring to the shirt which she's holding in her hands I'm trying to paint a picture for the listener. I'm touching it and I'm I'm sort of just scrunching What's it like and I love what it's like just seeing what it's like And by the way this shirt that I'm wearing now, I just pulled out. This is a great, you know,

Disneyland makes these special shirts you can only get. They won't sell this ever again. This is the pretzel Disneyland shirt. Pretzel. They're never gonna make that again. Pretzel gang, anybody? They're never gonna make it again. This is a limited edition.

They just, they have new patterns. You have to catch them when you can. I got this last year, actually maybe two years ago. Oh, okay. I really thought there was gonna be more. Pretzel gang. Yeah, but Disneyland. Yeah.

Pretzel gang, but Disneyland. Did you get it for the pretzels? No, it's more like as I was talking about it right now, I found pretzel gang. You discovered it. Yeah, I discovered that. Then you were trying to say it, like we should be excited about it.

Because you guys care. I care about you and your interests. It has a nice like rubbery back. If it's important to you, it's important to me. It has a rubbery back. Lauren has turned around. She's now patting her own back to prove how rubbery it is. Pup paint situation. You won't find this shirt just anywhere. Yeah, you'll find it on Lauren's body right now. That's where it is right now.

Now what's going on with the sleeves where the design abruptly stops? This is a sort of like cool Gen Z style. Yeah. Drop shoulder. It's almost like what people used to wear in the 90s. Yeah, it's sort of a throwback to 90s. The seam is here. You're upset, obviously.

I don't like it. I think if it went up to here, I wouldn't like it. This is cooler. This is loose. This is loose this is how it is yeah about it shut the fuck up asymmetry of it this is look this is my problem and I understand look it's not your problem not trying to make it this is how it is look here it is if you want to know it's $175 how much was it when you bought it probably 60? I got matching with my sister-in-law. I got my sister-in-law. Have a good time once in a while. Yeah judging others Wow Scott I getting the brunt of this when it's him who doesn't like it you both don't like it

You're both mad about it, and you know, but I don't have a problem shit Okay, but you made it seem like she was a fool for spending $60 when you're both mad about it and you have a problem. Give a shit. Okay. But you made it seem like she was a fool for spending $60. When you're there, you're a family, you know, so things just go down. You start buying, you start spending, you start having fun. Olive Garden? You have family there,

you're only family in Olive Garden. Okay, fine. When you're at Disneyland, you're still a stranger. They probably have Olive Garden there in the downtown Disney. They should have an Olive Garden in Disneyland itself. What if they had an underground Olive Garden? Yes.

That would be good. And it costs more to go there than that secret club. Yes. That would be great. Still have never been to that secret club because you can hook me up. Nor have I. Hook me up.

Club 33. Heard a great story about someone, a TV producer, who behind his wife's back, spent the money on club 33 and then she found out when some, uh, literature came to the door about his membership and she was not happy about it. Because it's a huge expense. Is it when we say tens of thousands a year, it's like 30 grand a year.

Yeah. For something that's very, no, and I don't get it at all. I I've seen people post from there, but you can only post like a napkin. I've never seen what it is. I don't know what's going on in there. It's like a tiny... I want to know why it's cool.

Well, because no one else can get into it and they serve alcohol there. They serve alcohol there and I'm sure the most mediocre food you can imagine. Oh yeah, it's terrible. But then you have to go to Disneyland like every day for that to be worth it. And it wouldn't still be. Right. No. Why would you go there? There's no place you like enough to go to Disneyland like every day for that to be worth it. And it wouldn't still be. Right. No. Why would you go there? There's no place you'd like to go every day. If they gave me it for free.

Where would you go if you had to go somewhere every day? Where would you go? Fuck. Your house? Trader Joe's. If I had to go someplace every day. Wow, that's a hard question. Would it be? I feel like proximity would factor into it so much of like, if I only had to go like three minutes to it, you know what I mean? True.

Like I could go to the beach every day, but that's over an hour away. Yeah, it's hard to get to. So proximity, let's just get rid of proximity. So beach every day. Let's get rid of it. Beach every day you could go to. Oh, I would love that. I could go to the beach every day.

I could also see myself as one of those older men who eats at a dinner at the same restaurant every night. That sounds fine. Like how Bob Hope used to go to Bob's big boy every single night between three and five AM. Every single night between three and five AM.

I never got up early enough to go see him. He did? Yeah, it was like it was like in the middle of the night and you and anyone could sit down next to him supposedly and go like, hey Bob. You go, hey Bob, what's up with your eyes? Why are they so bloody?

Remember that last commercial you did where you had to shuffle out and they sped it up with your eyes? Why are they so bloody? Remember that last commercial you did where you had to shuffle out and they sped it up? His eyes were bloody? His eyes were rimmed with red, like a thick band of red. It was disturbing to me. I knew I had a problem with that except you. He would go to the Bob's Big Boy over,

because I used to live on his street. Okay. And he was in this enormous compound at the end of the street, and I was on the other end in a condo. So it was like the disparity between us. But- Doesn't he have a street named after him?

Yeah, Bob Hope Drive. And the airport as well. But- Bob Hope. Wait, who did you think that? Did you think we said da Pope? Da Pope! I'm embarrassed, but I did think you were talking

about Bob Newhart. Oh, I see what you're saying. I saw the eyes. I wish there was a Bob Newhart street. That's why I sort of thought there was. But no, I'm thinking of Bob Hope. But so the Bob's Big Boy was very close to us. And it was named after him? No.

But it's a Toluca Lake-like sort of iconic place. No, it's iconic. It has the big big boy outside of it. And so he would apparently go every single night in the middle of the night and just like sit there eating a hamburger. Do you think his wife liked that? In a malted?

Who knows? She's probably asleep. Isn't that odd? She's probably asleep. Isn't that odd? She's probably asleep. Oh, Bob's over a big boy again. Hey. Bob, where were you? I was over having a milkshake over the Bob's big boy.

I never heard him talk. That was pretty spot on. Hey, why don't you come up and see me sometime? Oh, I get no respect. Oh, hey, why don't you come up and see me sometime? Oh, I get no respect. Oh, hey, why don't you come up and see me sometime? Oh, say the secret word, win $100. That's a really flattering image.

There's just so many great photos of him. I was such a big fan of his in the early days. Up until 60, probably 1962, somewhere around there. The summer of 62. And then you started going to college or something? You started riding your bike down the cul-de-sac? No, his work up until like... I got it, dear. I got it.

We're having fun. We're having fun, yes. I see, I see, I see. Yeah. I brought up that wonder years clip that made me cry so hard. Yeah. I talk about this, the finale. Yeah, but I don't remember what it was.

It's the 4th of July. Yeah. You think it was the 4th of July. Yeah, I know it was. And he's sitting at the table with his dad. Where were you? There's a minute long clip you can just find on YouTube. And it's some of the best TV I've ever seen in my life.

It's a guy sitting at a table with a- Fred Savage at the table with his dad. Fred Savage at the table with his dad. Fred Savage to the table with his dad. And they're like pretty good 4th of July. Pretty good 4th of July. And then he's like you're going to be a grandpa huh? And he's like yep. Oh because of Olivia Dabow. And they're talking and they're having this moment. Wait did he knock up someone? And then you hear the iconic. His older sister. Oh oh oh, oh. He'd knock up his older sister. I don't know who Olivia Daba was. This child had sex with his teacher.

You hear the iconic voiceover of. Daniel Stern. Daniel Stern saying like, I don't remember much this day, what about that? I remember a place. I remember the people. I remember how it made me feel. Something like that.

Are you fucking kidding me? He remembered in detail all of these stories. Yeah, for like over a hundred episodes. It's not, I'm not quoting it right. Well, get it right. Can we play it right now? Is he like, I don't remember any of it. Like, last minute.

Last minute? Wonder Years. I don't remember what happened to my wife. Wonder Years series finale. I know that this guy- No, he doesn't say it. Am I supposed to believe his lies? No, no. Okay, Wonder your series finale monologue.

Yes, play it. No, it's not playable, it's typed out. No. Read it. No. I'm gonna read it. Okay, fine. Yeah. Once upon a time. No, do it.

Once upon a time there was this girl I knew. No, do it the best of your ability. Okay, to the best of my ability. Once upon a time there was a girl I knew who lived across the street, brown hair, brown eyes. This is the closing monologue? When she smiled, I smiled. When she cried, I cried.

I don't remember this. Every single thing that ever happened to me that mattered in some way had to do with her. That day, Winnie and I promised each other that no matter what, that we'd always be together. Get us to feel here. Maybe. It was a promise full of passion and truth and wisdom.

It was the kind of promise that can only come from the hearts of the very young. The next day, Winnie and I came home, back to where we'd started. It was the 4th of July in that little suburban town. Somehow though, things were different. Our past was here, but our future was somewhere else. And we both knew sooner or later we had to go.

This wasn't part of the clip that I wanted. It was the last July I ever spent in that town. The next year, after graduation, I was on my way. So was Paul. He went to Harvard, of course, studied law. He's still allergic to everything. As for my father, well, we patched things up. Hey, we were family for better or worse.

One for all and all for one. This isn't the, they must start right here. Okay, no, we're only in the minute. Do you want me to cut to what you probably? I want the clip of what I want. No. Okay. You can't have it. How about this?

Growing up happens in a heartbeat. Is this it? Yeah. I want to kill myself one day You're in diapers next day. You're gone gross memories of childhood stay with you get to be back in diapers again Yeah, let's listen. I remember a place a town a house like a lot of other houses a yard Like a lot of other yards on a street like a lot of other streets and the thing is after all these years I still look back With wonder I could cry right now streets. And the thing is, after all these years, I still look back with wonder.

I could cry right now. Even at that time? Yeah, even at his delivery. Fade to black and then young boy says, hey dad, want to play catch? Narrator, I'll be right there. Cause then he's the dad. He's the dad now! No, he's the fucking dad!

And he's been talking to a wall. I'm broken in two. This is how I met your mother. This is exactly how it ended. Now, when you watched Field of Dreams... I know, that's the same. But that's why we said it should have ended after Wanna Play Catch.

And they just play catch. And then all the cars... The headlights of all the cars coming to see the cornfield. But yes, I wanted to cry at that. But don't you want the payoff of like, okay, he's not gonna be totally fucking broke. I can imagine that he's not gonna be totally fucking broke. I can imagine that he's not. Everything else came true.

You know what I mean? His brother-in-law started to see it. I take James Earl Jones' word for it that this is gonna happen. I know, but wouldn't it be? Plus, Gabby Hoffman backs him up. She's like, yeah, that's gonna happen. She's like, if the hot dog came out.

I'm just trying to imagine the audience kind of leaving if they didn't see the lights going like, so what happened with this money situation? Maybe, but I feel like that's like a studio note. Oh, really? And I'm just a sellout corporate- You're just a suit, bitch. You need to have everything spoon fed to you, like a little baby bird.

That's a little- The Dollywood machine chewed up and spit in your mouth. Put a little artistry on it. Karen's son was born in that September, I gotta say, I think he looks like me. Who? That's just thrown in there at the end? Who the fuck is Karen? That's the middle.

The sister. Oh, the sister, okay. Poor kid. Mom, she did well. Businesswoman, board chairman, grandmother, cooker of mashed potatoes. Who was the mom on that show? I can see the dad. I can see her in my mind.

I can see everybody but her. She had like, she had the blonde hair and like frosted lips. She was like, what's her name? Shit. Hold on, we can get there. What was that beeping? I think something reset or something, or hopefully it's not a fire alarm or something.

My goodness. Oh, sorry guys. I got to participate in this live poll. Confirm confirmation needed. Will you 100% vote for Kamalo? What are you at 98 right now? Then the link and then it says you're not with Trump, right? Three question marks. Oh man. These, okay. Everyone's on their phone now looking up ostensibly.

I almost could get her name without looking, but I need to look. I just want to see her fucking face. Jesus Christ. All we want to see is her face. Allie Mills. Here she is, Allie Mills, and she looks just like this. Okay. Allie, we love you.

She was one of the best TV moms there ever was. Should we, I mean, are we going to say that she's allowed to be a guest on Three of Them? I guess so, she's 73 years old. She was born in Chicago. That's great, we have a lot to talk about. Connection. She went to Yale?

Yale School of Drama? Yeah, she was married to Orson Bean, rest in peace. Wow! Interesting name. I didn't see that curve ball coming. Who's that? Orson Bean was a raconteur and actor who was famous in the 70s.

Bing John Malkovich. He was in Big John Malkovich. He was in Big John Malkovich. As the person who like... The boss? Was he the boss or yeah, sort of? I remember so little about that movie. I think, you know, here's what I remember about that movie. Two things, Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich,

when everybody's Malkovich. And the very ending where he's trapped in the head and he can't, it was like a baby head. I watched that movie for the first time, like in full on a plane like a year ago. And I was like, this is fantastic. Where have I been? I loved it. And Orson Bean, he's the one who's like,

he can't hear what they're saying. Yeah. He's like sort of the guy in the office. Yeah. Who's like, yeah. I'm just gonna say yeah. I don't remember him. You don't fucking know.

I only remember Orson Bean from like Match Game and The Tonight Show from when I was a child, a wee child. Yeah. Yeah, Orson Bean, I mean, he's pretty cool. You know, you might know him from The Equalizer 2 with Sam Rubenstein. Really? He's still out there doing it. Well, it was his final film role.

Oh no, he's not still out there doing it. Well, it was his final film role. He's not still out there doing it. No, he is. He is gone, of course. Grayson Frankie, of course. He was, of course, Grayson Frankie, of course. We don't talk about that. We don't talk about Bruno. No, never.

But we love you, Ali. We love you, Ali. Ali Mills, we love you. We love you. So sorry to hear about Orson. Lauren hears crying. His name is Mr. Bean. Yeah. I guess that's true.

That must have been a little challenging. So is Sean Bean. Yeah. Who's Sean Bean? Who's Sean Bean? So is Mr. Bean. The actor who always dies. Jim Beam.

There's also Billy Bean. Jim Bean. Billy Bean from Moneyball. The Bean whiskey. Billy Bean from Moneyball. They make it from beans, you see. And that's why it's so potent. Sean Bean, one of the craziest deaths.

Beans, beans, they're good for your heart. Don't you dare. The Moria... Lauren? The Moria Shart. It made it worse. Amazing. All right, we have to take a break to go shart ourselves.

No. No, you started it. You started up. You did it by saying B. You built this Frankenstein. You built this city on rock and roll. We built this city. We'll be right back.

We built this city on rock and roll. Oh boy. We won't be back. Bye. Chk. Chk. I'll be back. Bye. That's the sound of a sale from your Shopify store. If you've ever thought about turning your passion into a business, you need to know about Shopify.

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and start your exciting journey today. That's L-O-V-E, then the number two, then P-L-A-Y, then.com. Find excitement in every day with love to play. And we're back. And Lauren thought that we were already in the third act where there's a three chair. No, we still have another act to go. She was clearly anticipating that we were gonna play

a buster and it's not that time yet. It's not that time. I knew we weren't. Where would you- Now is not the time. Where would you go if you had to go somewhere every day? Would it be Disneyland? No.

That would be a little much, wouldn't it? It's a little much. I want it to feel special. But some people do it. Yeah, there is a couple that goes there every day. Yeah, yeah, there is. I just was reading about them. I saw them on Instagram.

Would you run out of stuff to look at? I mean, I know you- No, they're like, no, it's great. We'd love to go to our favorite restaurant. We'd go here, we'd go there, blah, blah, blah. Do we finish it off with a decadent triple chocolate cake on the balcony? We'd watch the fireworks.

Yeah, I think it just seems like you have no culture, but that's okay. No offense to those people. I just think you could have culture. Some of you. but that's okay. No offense to those people. I just think you could have culture. I think anywhere every day, I guess I would say, hmm. So many things lose their luster. So true.

I guess. The bloom is off the rose. I'd almost say Target, but it's like, I can't even do that every day. Did you, I almost said a supermarket or a office supply store. But what drug stores, places like that, I love them so much. All the minutia of every single thing.

I love like a Staples. I like to go in a Staples and look around. Yeah, I love it, I love it. Like a deli. A deli. Oh, a deli. A deli. Oh, a deli! Hello! Is it meat you're looking for? Mashup, mashup, mashup.

Mashup, mashup! Mashup, mashup, mashup. It's a deli combo. Mashup with a deli and... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Light and L, fritchy. What if, tell you what, what if you were forced to go somewhere every single day?

Oh, this is good. For a year. What if, tell you what, what if you were forced to go somewhere every single day? Oh, this is good. For a year. What if you chose the gym and that meant that you just had to be at the gym and so you'd be like, fuck it. That's a good idea. I might as well get shredded. Yeah. I guess I would pick like a fancy beach house

that I own no strings attached. Oh my God, are you fucking, that's my dream of dreams. That would be so nice. To have a beach house. Sit on the balcony overlooking the water. I would even live just on a shack. You know what I mean? Yeah.

Yeah, but beach houses are so small. No, I'm picking a big one. I want a big one. You want like a giant mansion on the beach? I want a mansion on the beach that's not mine. You have not been to Sullivan's Island. It's mine, but I don't. Oh yeah.

What? There are some giant houses there. What? Why is it? What? What? Go ahead, tell me. It's just great over there, is what you're gonna there. There's a bunch of McMansions there.

My friend has been working in Charleston and I think might end up over there at some point, but, um, says it's beautiful. And I'm thinking I'd like to go there sometime. It's kind of, it's kind of, I mean, it's, now it's pretty bougie. There's a lot of, it's bougie. There's a lot of, uh, uh, you know, MAGA people and there's a lot of Hollywood people. Great combo. That is a that's a strange combination. Yeah, it's not a combo that will cheese your hunger away. I'll tell you that much.

Cheese your hunger away. Are you not familiar? Like combos? Cheese filled combos, combos really cheese your hunger away. That's an insane song. But I have to say. An insane song. But it's true. It'll cheese your hunger away. That's an insane song but I have to say it's insane but it's true. It's true even though it is madness. But I have never eaten a combo and I never will. Why do you say that? Because something about them strikes me as gross. Ever since I was a kid, I thought that looks gross.

What is this, the Wonder Years now? I remember a combo. Wait, they're just pretzels with cheese in them? I remember a combo. They're just pretzels with cheese in them. Well, it's... They got different... There's pizza combos? I never liked when there was like surprise cheese in something. They're not surprising you. You don't like surprise cheese? They're very upfront about it. Like in a bed? I remember one time as a kid, I was at a friend's house and they served me a hot dog and I bit

into it and there was cheese inside. Oh no, you gotta warn people. You can't do that. And I was really sad. You can't do that. What do you think of the pickle wrapped corn dog? Like a pickle that's been cored. Please, break your silence.

Pickle wrapped corn dog? Okay, so it's a pickle that's been cored. That sounds disgusting. What about that sounds disgusting? You shove a corn dog in it? No, dear. Can I explain it? You have a hot dog in it and you dip it in fried batter?

For fuck's sake, can I just- Am I wrong? Why are you cutting me off talking about this? You two are tearing me apart. Tell me what it is. Okay, so it's a, can I continue past a pickle that's been cored? Can you understand that concept yet? That's all I'm looking for.

Of course I can, but you know what? Pickle it a hole in it. Sometimes when there's that thing, it's just like something that bothers me on TV shows like where it's like someone's trying to get through something and they keep starting at the beginning, start at the next part. Yeah, but you don't understand what I've said yet.

I do understand it. It's a pickle with a hole in the middle. It's your fuck toy. Thank you. You love to fuck that every night. I know what it is. So then, then you put a hot dog in it. Yeah. Blue. I already about that every night. I know what it is. So then, then you put a hot dog in it. Yeah.

Blue. I already said that. Dip it in fried batter. No, you said put a corn dog in it. Then I corrected myself and said hot dog, you bitch, you're listening to the fucking recording. Put a hot dog right in that hole. Go, whick, whick, whick.

Yes, I'm sure you want to. And then you dip it in fried batter. I said that already. So it's like eating a pickle topped. That's disgusting. What about it is? I don't like pickles. Say that!

Why didn't you just say that? Why did you just say that? Why did you? You could have just said, I don't like pickles. I don't like pickles. It shouldn't stop him from explaining what it is. You never said it! What do you mean? I don't like pickles either. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like.

Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like.

Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like.

Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell me something I don't like. Tell's disgusting. If you like pickles, it sounds good. If you like pickles, it sounds good. I don't like pickles. I don't like pickles either. Tell me something I... Tell me something I... We all hate pickles. Why are we talking about them so much?

Tell me something I like that might sound disgusting. Okay. What's some crazy... I like corn. I like... Jesus Christ. Imagine corn in a dog. That's gross.

Okay, let's look up county fair food. A hot dog with corn in it. You know what I had at the county fair? What'd you have? I had a big thing, it was like a stick with a bunch of like potato skin fries on it, like made a huge stack. It's making me.

And that was yummy. And my tummy was like diarrhea. The, the. Diarrhea. The proportions, county fair proportions make me sick to my stomach. No, it's disgusting. Yummy. And my tummy was like diarrhea. County fair proportions make me sick to my stomach. Like thinking about it. No, it's disgusting. And honestly, the feeling of it all, like a deep fried Oreo, like I could just barf right now. Okay. Here's a pizza with Flamin' Hot Cheetos and Pickles on it. No. What the fuck?

That's disgusting. Get behind me, Satan. Okay. What the fuck? That's disgusting. Get behind me Satan. Okay here's hot honey funnel cake chicken sandwich. It's basically a fried chicken in the middle of the two slices of quote unquote bread are hot honey funnel cake. No this is like a donut sandwich or some shit. Is hot honey funnel cake like spicy? Uh I don't know. Hot honey? Yeah let's say. Yeah. honey funnel cake like spicy?

I don't know. Hot honey? Yeah, hot honey. Or is it just warm honey? Yeah, I think it's hot honey. Like what you put on pizza nowadays. Sounds good. It's piping hot honey. It sounds disgusting, but it sounds good.

Like if I was gonna be really gross for a minute, I'd eat that. For a while after going to like Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles so much when I was younger, I was like, it would be great to use a waffle as a taco and put chicken inside the taco and then maple syrup over it. That sounds good.

They must make those now. But I was like sitting there going, why does no one make these yet? Well, and you remember of course, Choco Tacos, which got discontinued, but then brought back, I believe. I think because kids were dying, right? What?

From a chocolate store? You know what they like to do though? They like to say, we're not gonna make this anymore. And everyone goes, no. And they go, back, I believe. I think because kids were dying, right? What? From a chocolate job? You know what they like to do though? They like to say, we're not gonna make this anymore. And everyone goes, no. And they go, okay, we will. And they go, well, I'm not gonna buy it. I just like, I didn't- I like remembering it.

I didn't like living in a world without it. It's like that Arby's on Sunset. Yes. Yeah, I've never been to it, but- Carl made a kind of post or something about Arby's and saying, or maybe it was on Doughboys or something. He was just like, you know, people say Arby's is gross. He's like, yeah, I want to hear about that.

When was the last time you went to Arby's because he's like, it's good. And that being said, I've never had Arby's. I've had the fries. I think they're a sponsor and I like them. Well, I love them more and more and more the more I hear about them. I was upset about that Arby's, not upset, but I was saddened by that Arby's closing

because it was a place that I was able to afford food when I first moved to town. And you know, it is sad when these sort of landmarks just go under, even if it's something you don't go to. It's still just like a- No, because somebody else might need it. There are so many restaurants in LA that even my favorites, or even if it's something you don't go to. It's still just like- No, because somebody else might need it. You know what I mean? There are so many restaurants in LA that even my favorites,

it's hard to go to them more than twice a year. You know what I mean? So it's like, anytime one of them closes, I kind of go like, oh, I love that place. Yeah, but I only went twice this year. You were right, Paul. It closed. I was crying.

You were crying? Yeah. Oh my God, Paul. This is, I yawned for the last year. You're crying about Arby's? And this is what Janie loves to call out my yawning when we're doing a podcast together. She does.

She'll be like, she's like, do you want to coke? And then you're like, stop saying that I yawned. They would never know that. Okay, so Paul, here's what you're talking about. And you're like, I'm not bored. Here's what you're talking about. Here is a triple cheeseburger with a Krispy crispy cream donut.

No, no, no. That's like too much sugar, right? Ancient Rome shit. You know what I mean? That's gross. Well, because of the decadence. Okay. The decadence. How about this? Foul. Bacon wrapped tater tots. No. Why? That's okay. Maybe one. One. Why only one? Why not two? That's a lot. Two is too much. I feel bad about Why not two? That's a lot. Two is too much. I feel bad about that. And a hundred's not enough. How many could I get you to eat?

I could probably eat five of those before I would feel absolutely horrible about myself and my choices. I could eat ten. Let's get them right now. OK. And have a challenge. Frog legs that come in a hot dog boat covered in ranch dressing. That's disgusting.

Fuck off. A hot dog boat, what does that mean? A splayed hot dog? I guess so. And then they covered in ranch? Splayed hot dog. I'm sorry, that all sounds like barf. That's a barf sandwich.

It sounds like barf and a barf sandwich. It does. Yeah. That's nasty, dude. I remember going through a phase, when I worked at Tower Video, there was a sort of dinery place called Duke's across the street.

And I would go there for lunch sometimes. And I was big into getting, what is the sandwich? It's like essentially a croque monsieur. But it's like, it's like deep fried or something. I forget. Oh, what the fuck. There's a croque madame and a croque monsieur.

Okay, you're not French. This was something like that, but it was like, it had like a sweet covering. Oh, why can't I think of the name? And it was sort of like one of those things that was, it was good and disgusting at the same time, where I'm eating it and I'm like, this is making me sick as I eat it. Yeah. One, two bites in, but I'm going to finish this whole thing. Yeah. Yes.

Well, a croque madame has the egg on top. There's a little hole in the bread where the egg is. Now where I'm at a point now where I don't really want to feel sick after, even if it's good. I want to feel sick all the time. Are you talking about an egg in a basket? No, I wasn't talking about anything. Paul was the one telling the story. When there's toast with a hole in it with an egg in that? Well, that's a croque madame. Yeah, it's a toad in a hole or whatever. Yeah, it was not either one of those. Is that good?

I never had that. Yeah, why not? It's an egg with bread. You're just cutting the bread and then you just have the egg runny egg. Is Duke still there? So, croque monsieur has the French toast as the bread and then ham and melted cheese and stuff. Yeah, it wasn't either of those because I've had had those of course. Dukes on Sunset?

Yeah, I'm looking them up right now to see if I can get a menu. Dukes West Hollywood Restaurant info and reservations. Let's go. Let's make a reservation for right now and we'll go. Well, the first thing comes up is a Chinese website. This is just the these are the hoops you have to go to... Yelpers report this location has closed! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I didn't talk about how hard it would be to cover your shift. And I found a website. Well, you have to work with your twin. I found a- No, how hard it would be if you were sick and you had to cover your shift.

I understand, but I'm saying- Yeah, but- No, but if you were sick and you had to cover your shift, it would be difficult. I see. Okay, so I went to their website, which still exists, Twinsworld. You can only make a first impression once,

we make it twice. And it was owned by- So it's not possible. Identical twin sisters and actor Tom, oh, Tom Barringer, I thought it was owned by twin identical twin sisters and actor Tom. Oh, Tom Berenger. I thought it was Tom Berenger. Tom Berenger. Tom Bergeron. I posted. What if Berenger and Bergeron were pretending to be twins? I posted that Tom Bergeron was an owner.

It was. It's Berenger. Who's Tom Berenger? He's in Platoon. OK. Does he have a twin? The substitute. Other things. We are the only restaurant of its kind staffed entirely with 37 sets of identical twins who work the same shift in the same station in the same uniform. Twins restaurant opened November 14th, 1994. We get 10 to 20 sets of multiple customers every evening, ranging from newborn sex tuplets

to 95 years old. And then when multiples come in, they sign our twin guest book, they get their picture taken which goes on the wall, and they get two for one drinks, triplets get three for one, and quadruplets get four for one. Four for one drink, so you buy one drink and then you get five? Four for one drinks?

How often are they getting quadruplets in there? Oh no, okay, they just, each one gets a drink. In addition, we specialize in single malt scotches because it's the only single thing we have. It doesn't end there. We have twin towers, double doorknobs, double mint gum, double sided business cards, double light fixtures, double mirrors, and of course double bar stools. You see double before you have a cocktail.

You see the devil before you have a cocktail? But what I want to figure out- You know that old Irish toast. Don't let the devil see you before you- But what I want to figure out is when it closed because I'm like that could not have stayed open very long. I have discovered the sandwich. Okay, what is it?

It's called a Monte Cristo. Oh, the Monte Cristo, of course. Piled high with ham, turkey and cheese, three slices of bread dipped in batter and deep fried. Yes. Classic. That sounds wild. It was.

And it also says if one twin got stuck together to stay home too. Fried. Yes. Classic. That sounds wild. It was. And it also says if one twin got stuck together to stay home too. I'm reading this interview with them. That sucks. So then they don't get money. No, but they get to stay home with their twin. Plus they all have to split. They get to stay home with their twin.

They surely live together. They obviously do. And they wear matching clothes at home. So you would have the Monte Cristo sandwich. This also comes with like a jelly to dip it in. Yeah. Right, and you would have this, how often? I had it, I had it a bunch.

I think after a while I was like, I can't do this anymore. Right. Because it would destroy me for the rest of the day. It's a lot. Yeah. It looks good, but it's this kind of thing. It looks like a brunch thing. When you have a really bad hangover,

you need something greasy. I probably did. Yeah, sure. Every day. But you might as well. That's the sandwich you might as well eat in bed. Yeah. Because that's where you're headed. Mm hmm. Night. Night. The big bed in the sky. Go to sleep, little baby. Go to sleep, little baby. Well, what are you looking at?

I just the twins who founded that restaurant when I closed down, they became like homeless. They who founded that restaurant. When I closed down, they became like, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,

they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,

they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they,

they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they, they with the restaurant. Do you think they ever did business with the Sklars? I bet they did. I bet they did. I bet they found them. I always think being the Sklars would be fun because you get to have a buddy doing standup with you all the time. Yeah.

That's how I started. I had a partner when I started. You did? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Standup? That was your twin. Was it Tal? That was my stillborn twin. Tal P. Pumpkins? You're a malignant, it tall? It was my stillborn twin. Tall P Pumpkins?

You're a malignant, right? I'm a malignant, yeah. Tall P Pumpkins? It was not Tall P Pumpkins. It was David S Pumpkins. Would you be surprised to learn that I've heard that one before? Tall P Pumpkins?

I feel like I could barely get it out. You've heard that? I've heard Tall F Pumpkins. Tall F Pumpkins. Yeah. I've heard it out. You've heard that. I've heard tall F pumpkins. Tall F pumpkins. Yeah. I've heard many variations. When I was trying to get verified on Twitter, a bunch of people opened up fake accounts.

There were variations on my name to help me. Oh, to help you. Tall P pumpkins. Then later I renounced the check mark. America's wacky fair foods. No. What about, what is this? No.

Okay, listen to this. Stop it. Lauren, I think you want one of these. What is it? A hot beef sundae. Ugh. Oh, what is that? I'm gonna vomit all over the place.

It's a, it's mashed potatoes, marinated beef, gravy, cheese, corn sprinkles, and a cherry. So it's savory. Corn sprinkles. and a cherry. So it's savory. Corn sprinkles. That's so gross. It's savory, but it looks like a- No, that looks so gross. So there's no chocolate, they don't put chocolate sauce.

But it's like, you don't even want the idea to blend in your head. I don't want it to look like a dessert. You don't want like a magic shell scrambled eggs? Ugh. Check out this. Ugh, the shell is hard milk. Fried beer.

Fried beer? That is, beer gives me a stomach ache anyway. Aw, that's too bad. It's fine. I like a cold beer. I feel very bloated when I have a beer. Yeah, that's true. Fried beer looks, it looks sort of like ravioli.

Ravioli! Okay. Okay, now. Maybe I would try that. How about this? I bet you would try this. Hold on a second, hold on, hold on. How is it fried beer?

Even alcohol can be fried when it's pocketed in pretzel dough. So it's like a, it's like a pretzel. It's like a ravioli. It's like a pretzel. You know how ravioli are? I know how ravioli are. You know, they're like a little purse. I know how they are.

Yeah. You know how they are. Okay, you might like this. You know how they get fried. I'm sorry. Is it like a soup dumpling? Where there's hot beer in there? I don't know how hot it is, but possibly.

It sounds bad. All right, fried butter balls. That's just pure fat. In mixed company? But I think maybe I would eat that. I think you would eat that. That sounds like a cartoon curse word. Yeah, fried.

Fried butter balls. Here's, you're gonna love this. The fried like a cartoon curse word. Yeah. Fried butter balls. Here's, you're going to love this. The fried, no, not fried, sorry. Retracting that. Baked. Pickle pops. Yuck. These are briny pickle juice that's been frozen.

Yuck. What the fuck? Why do you want cold juice? That's just cold pickle juice. Some people like the taste of alcohol. That sounds disgusting. Tequila. What is that?

This is Paul Stanley introducing the song cold gin on a live record. I think a live too. Some people like the taste of alcohol. Tequila. But what we like is fryer fried gin. Okay. How about this? You mentioned kiss drinking martinis.

Sitting around in their dumb fucking Martinis. Costumes and makeup. Their black lipstick. Like, yeah, they leave little marks on the glass. Okay, Python kebabs. So it's a snake. It's a snake, but, you know, barbecue, you know,

over the grill. Barbecued. That's gross. It's a snake barbecued over the grill. I bet people would say it tastes like chicken. Right, okay, how about fried jelly beans? barbecue, you know, over the grill. Barbecued. That's gross. It's a snake barbecue over the grill. I bet people would say it tastes like chicken. Right. Okay. How about fried jelly beans? That sounds so gross.

Why are we frying everything? Because it's a state fair. I know, but why does that equal state fair? Why can't we rewrite the narrative? They needed something to brand themselves with. Elvis on a stick. This is a deep fried banana battered peanut butter cup with bacon.

Sounds pretty good. Can we order them right now? Yeah. And door dash it to us. Yeah. Who's the closest purveyor? That sounds good. Do you have interest in going to the LA County Fair?

Have you been to the LA County Fair? I went a few years ago. I've never been. Never been. And it was fun. Interesting. Cheeseburger. In paradise? You have to die.

Cheeseburger with fried ice cream. It is a cheeseburger and it has fried ice cream on top. That's disgusting, but why is it disgusting? Because meat and ice cream is unnecessary, but I like the idea of fried ice cream a little bit. What is that? You've never had fried ice cream?

It's basically just, it's like a kind of coat. They don't really fry it. It's like a kind of a crispy. It's like a crispy kind of coating on it. Sounds good. Crumb crisp coating. It's kind of crumb crispy. Chocolate covered bacon on a stick.

It's kind of that crispy coating. Chocolate covered bacon on a stick. It's got that crispy coating. It's got a crumb crisp. Chocolate covered bacon on a stick. It's got a crispy coating. Chocolate covered bacon on a stick. It's got a crispy coating. It's got a crumb crisp. Spaghetti and meatballs on a stick. That's your Biden? Yeah. It's got a crispy coating.

Here's the deal. It's got a crispy coating. It's not actually fried. They just put a crispy coating on it. And here's what's up. It's simple. It's simple. It creates jobs.

It's like corn pop. It's like corn pop. Oh, RIP. It's like corn pop. It's like corn pop. It's like corn pop. It's like corn pop. It's like corn pop. Ity coating on it. And here's what's up. Simple. It's simple. It creates jobs. It's like corn pop. It's like corn pop. Oh, RIP corn pop.

Crispy cream hamburgers, we've talked about them. Kool-Aid pickles. No. Stop doing this. Stop naming things with pickles. Deep fried egg on a stick. That's fine. Do you think there's food in heaven?

Deep fried White Castle burgers. That's probably good too. So much of like what's good about life is eating and so much of what leads to bad things is eating. You know what I mean? Like health problems. So you're saying you die and you get to go up there and they say you already ate a lot of pizza. Yeah like we're cutting you off. What if heaven has everything all wrong? And they're like, isn't this great? You never have to eat anything again. You get to just be here and just hang out. And you know what I would want?

You don't have to read anymore books. We can't just go to lunch one day with some friends. I would want it to be like that feeling. I thought you would like this. You know when you're like eating something that's so good that you want to just keep eating it forever and never like, you don't know, I don't want wanna even swallow it.

I just want like the feeling of chewing this thing. Like I like, I love like an ice cream sandwich. I love the texture. I love to like eat ice cream sandwich. I just wanna chew that. Like I wanna keep biting into that. Like on a rotation forever and ever with no consequence. I think people would say that you don't have a body anymore.

And so that's why it wouldn't even come up to you. Why can't we? People would say that. There's plenty of good stuff about bodies. I've started, because I've realized, I've known this for a long time that I eat too quickly, but I've only recently made the connection of, and it makes me feel bad.

Yeah. And so I've started eating more slowly. And how does it feel? It feels better. You don't get as tummy achy. Yeah. Well, here's the thing. Like I will eat lunch and it'll make me tired because right now, like I'm starving. Yeah. And so my my the thing I have to remember is don't wolf down my food.

Yeah. Because then I won't feel like I ate. Right. And then as my body's trying to process it, it will make me sleep. Here's what you should do is you should eat one small thing every 10 minutes. One giant thing for mankind. So you never stop eating. So you never have that downtime.

Right. So all day long, I'm eating tiny bites of- Every 10 minutes you have a tiny bite of something. So like the equivalent of one French fry. Sure. All right. I'm going to buy a bunch of French fries and eat them throughout the day. Every 10 minutes. Every 10 minutes you have one. Does it sound fun? It sounds great. It sounds kind of good.

It sounds great. All right. We have to take a break. We'll be right back with a Buster. I think there's a reason they call it a health journey, right? It's because these things take time and any program you're on should not be selling some one size fits all fix to all your nutritional questions. Weight Watchers has been the trusted authority in this space for decades. It's because they want to help us all towards building healthier habits. And now they've introduced the Weight Watchers Clinic. If you qualify, you can access doctor

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Sign up for your trial today at Noom.com. That's N-O-O-M dot com. And check out Noum's first ever cookbook the neum kitchen for 100 healthy and delicious recipes to promote better living available to buy now wherever books are sold. And we're back and you know what time it is. Oh it is time for a three-chur. Three-chur is a game that we like to play, also known as a Buster, and this Buster comes to us from Full Pat, P-H-U-L-P-A-T-T-E.

If I'm mispronouncing that, it's probably for the second time. We have played this once before. Here's what happens, it's called cursory rye. Fried Pepsi. That sounds like barf. Now we're getting into brands. No, it's fried dough injected with Pepsi syrup and then topped with powdered sugar.

No. Why? Why no? I refuse. I don't want food that's injected with. What if I injected you with Pepsi syrup? Then I'd be no longer thirsty. One person picks a word.

I only drink Pepsi out of syringes. It's my thing. The person to the right recites the first line of a poem which must end with this word. The next person recites the second line of the poem ending in a word rhyming with the first word. The first person now adds the third line ending with another rhyming word.

This continues on until everyone is out of rhyming words. And this is a poem. So this is not like a rap or anything. No, this is we're trying to rhyme. We're trying to rhyme and we want it to be as good as poetry, which is great. All poetry is great. All poetry is perfect.

All right, the person must end with this word. Because you pick a word, let's end with this word. And then we just go until someone goes, I can't do it anymore. I can't even think of another word. Next person recites the second line of the poem. Does it have to be like a perfect rhyme? I think you don't start with slant rhymes.

Okay. Slant rhymes is like, that's the last refuge of the scoundrel. Yeah. Yes. Okay. All right, so who will pick a word first? Is it a word?

Well, I think you say the first line of the poem, right? Or no, just some. No, you start with a word, and then word? Well, you say the first line of the poem, right? You start with a word, and then the next person has to do the first line of the poem, ending with that word. Okay, let's start simple. Octopi. Let's start with B. B? B. Okay. And then Scott would do the first line.

And then Scott would do the first line. I wish that I could live with my best friend, the bee. Interesting meter. I wish that I could live with my best friend, the bee. Da da da da da da da da da da. That is the person I should like to be. Bee and bee. One thing about him, he really knows me. You can see him right there, way up in that tree.

On a sunny day. On a sunny day, he'll fly and flee. And I will cry and drink his pee. Interesting. When I cry, he comes to comfort me. I would not run from him, would thee? Pause, does it matter that we're already sudden me? I would not run from him. Would the pause? Does it matter that we're already said me? I think it probably does. I think we're not supposed to take your words, which I did. I think you're out. I think I'm in and there's nothing

you could do repeat words. Okay. It really pleases me and makes me happy. When I see my good friend, as far as the eye can see. Definitely said see, aren't we? I can't pay attention to you. I'm trying to think of my own shit. Maybe we didn't.

Reverently, I take a knee. Colin Kaepernick over here. People are pissed. And recall my favorite film, Nanny McPhee. My other favorite film where they sang Chim Chim Chiri. Which I watched whilst working in my laboratory. I made a new friend. He buzzes with a Z.

And when I made that friend, I said, weeeee! Oh my god. But alas, our lives were so messy. He left behind his jeans by Lee. I like my food topped with a bit of aioli. But the bee, of course, he likes honey. It's a great poem. Imagine a written poem.

Imagine Amanda Gorman saying this at the White House. Going like, Amanda, can I talk to you for a second? He has a thing where he can't stop saying, eeeee! His name is my favorite cheese. Of course I mean Brie. But when the moon glows, lycanthropy. It reminds me why I studied astrology. Someday perhaps I shall set him free. He was free. When?

A while back. In what context? The bee pole? About a bee. That particular sentence is context. In what context? The bee pole? All right, we did it.

Let's pick a new word. OK. OK. And I think we have to go faster. Yes. We have to go faster. No repeats. OK, fly.

If you repeat, you're out. Fly. Go, Paul. If I had some wings I'd fly. I'd go up into the sky. I'd hope to do it before I die. And be seen by God's own eye. Because I would be so very high.

God's eye perhaps would shut a tear, i.e. cry. Perhaps God does have a stye he should get that looked at I a way along with his great friend captain Bly I just love them both. My oh my. I wonder about. Wonder, wonder that city of shy as I sip upon my tea of chai. Oh, same spelling. Yeah. Well, similar, different. Similar, different. Same spelling. Oh, that's right. There's an A in chai, T, right?

Yeah. It's not chi-ti. Okay, dear. What was T of chai? T of chai. T of chai. T of chai. I pray to God, but no reply.

He must have been a little bit of a wimp. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm chai. I pray to God, but no reply.

He must be talking to an alien named Zai. At his favorite restaurant. Like the water? Or no? Zai. Zai. Okay. I was thinking De Zai.

No, it's like the alien last day I Had his favorite restaurant Fridays comma TGI But perchance where I To die we said die. Yeah, but maybe. Who knows? Who knows? If my clothes, perchance, would dry. I would have a very big sigh. Whose towel is this?

Whose towel is this? Whose towel is this? That's all I had to say. Who's tell is this? An interesting detour. Wait, who's tell is this? I think he was asking someone in life and then he accidentally wrote that down in the poem and nobody caught it. Who's tell is this?

Uh, I think we did it. What kind of food do I want? Maybe Thai? Okay. Yeah, that's good. Anyway, we did it. Great stuff. Good. Great stuff. And poems, every line rhymes with the last line. Yes. Yeah. So it works. That's right. That's a, I mean, if you want your poem to be good. Yes. Yeah. So that's right. That's a I mean, if you want your poem to be good. Her poem. We love poetry. Clean Canteen. Lauren is prepping to go.

She's putting her lid on her. I just put the cap on my bottle. It's not a sign of anything. Not a sign of anything at all. I took it as a sign. Do you have plans to meet up with people in the UK that you know? Perhaps. You know, I don't know a ton of people there.

We're already back from it as of this airing. Yeah. Well, do you have plans to what you did? There were plans to what you did? I mean, we have plans to go see a couple of shows, perhaps. Fun, like the West End. The West End, I'd say. Or Edinburgh. And there's- I think we appear on the London show but at this who knows it as of this recording it's already happened

Wow I think about a person person but other than that I don't really have a ton of friends there uh-huh I don't really have a ton of friends there. I don't either. There's some people like casually know. There's some people I'd like to meet, that's for sure. I'd love to meet everyone in the world. Not me. One by one. I want to meet a thousand people. I think if I could spend the rest of my life meeting every single person in the world for

about like 60 seconds for each person, I think that would be a fun way to spend the rest of my life meeting every single person in the world for about like 60 seconds for each person I think that would be a fun way to spend the rest of my life. Oh, wow. I died Wow Wow, it's interesting Interesting guy. You're a really interesting guy. Listen if you want to send us a buster If you want to send us a buster send it to 3musa.gmail.com If you'd like to leave us a voicemail for our three new episodes we do every other week, go to the website, HagClaims8.com and leave your voicemail. And if you would like to listen to ad free versions of this show, then go to cbbworld.com or Lemonada Premium.

And I, to be honest, I really don't know what Paul was just talking about. Wow. But it sounded cool and... I don't know why you're sabotaging us. I mean, it sounded great what he was talking about, but I... I don't know why you're sabotaging us. I'm just confused by it. I don't get this.

Why are you like this? I don't understand you. No, what were you... you were saying? Leave us a voicemail? Is that what you're talking about? Did I talk about the three visiting on the twos? No, you didn't. Why don't you talk about that? I'd love to.

Why don't you just talk about that loosely? I love to talk about three visiting on the twos. Just talk about that. What these are is, okay, so not all of you have CBB World subscriptions. Weird. To hear all of our previous seasons and all of our previous episodes. So what we do for folks like you is every Tuesday we re-release older episodes. We call this Three Visiting on the Twos. No one knows why we do it. You love it though. Yeah. I guess that's why

we do it. That's probably why we do it. And then three medium episodes are every two weeks on Wednesdays. Oh my god. Oh god I'm having a heart attack. That would be really scary if that happened. Do you think I'd make the M Memoriam of any? I think about that every time I see them. We'd probably do like a CBB one, but we'd like make jokes over it and it would just be your face over it.

But like on the Emmys, you'd have to include M Memoriams. I feel like mine would be so fast. I hope that you both would get to be in there. Thank you. My death will be in a hundred years and they'll have a new system by then. Yeah. I hope that you both would get to be in there. Thank you. My death will be in a hundred years. I fit. They'll have a new system.

That's right. Yeah, new system. I think mine would be in a, like, a collage with four other faces. I'd take it though. Of my fame level. I'd take it, sure. I'd take it.

Cause so many people don't get to be on it. Yeah, so true. But with each passing year, it grows less and less likely. That you'll be in the thing? Yeah, so true. But with each passing year, it grows less and less likely. That you'll be in the thing? Yeah, you know, like what's my last credit? How would they credit you? Would they credit you as an actor, as a director, as a writer? For TV? God. All about jack of all trades. But if you've been nominated for an Emmy. I've won two. Okay. Yeah, they would have to. I mean, they would have to. I've been nominated for an Emmy. I've won two. Yeah, they would have to. I mean, I've been nominated.

You have been nominated. I guess I get to be in. And who won? Carol Burnett. No, Jane Lynch. Oh, Jane Lynch. Yeah. But you're, you know, you're in there.

What were you nominated for? The earliest show that I did with Ben Schwartz. It was in the short form category, which by the way has become a very big category. Yeah. They're thinking about making it long form. I know. They wanna make it long form drama. In any case, put me in your montages.

If we die, please put us in your montage. No matter what it is. No matter what it is. I wanna be in the Tony's. I wanna be in the Academy Awards. Just knocking on wood that you won't die. Wait, don't put us in bad montages. Yeah.

If it's like people who have been Me Too'd this year. Here's the jerks we've lost. I don't want to be in that one. It should be really nice. What if they did a Me Too'd montage on the Academy Awards? Isn't that all of them? Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Goodbye. Goodbye, everyone. Hi, everyone. Gloria Riviera here, and we are back for another season of No One Is Coming to Save Us, a podcast about America's childcare crisis. This season, we're delving deep into

five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that child care is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life. Season four of No One is Coming to Save Us is out now wherever you get your podcasts. What do weddings, Instagram, and toxic relationships all have in common? They take your money and you can't get it back. 16 grand somewhere in there, gone.

There's no legal solution for the fact that you married an asshole. Welcome to The Doe. I'm ex Maya. We're diving into the story surrounding the moola baby. The good, the bad, and the unexpected. Yeah, we talking about it all. The Dough is out now, wherever you get your podcasts.