Threedom - There's The Ding
Episode Date: March 16, 2023Lauren, Paul and Scott talk about TV theme songs, TikTok, and play Word Alley-Oop. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gmail.com. Leave us a voicemail at... 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).
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3D!
3D!
3D!
3D!
Wow, it's a rainy day here in Burbank County.
What weather pounding the Southland?
3D to 3D more ways to bring me down.
I was trying to do the Paul Williams version.
Oh, interesting.
Did he write that?
I think he did.
And if he didn't, he should have.
That guy who made the speech,
sang a little bit of Karen Carpenter.
Oh my God, that was adorable.
That was really cute.
The guy who won for, was it RR arm? Yeah.
He sang the carpet.
Yeah.
He was like, I grew up listening to the carpenters
and then he said, he sang his speech in the melody.
He did lay a weird out.
Yeah.
On top of the world.
A little parody.
I grew up emulating a carpenter.
Right.
Oh my god.
That's why I refused to call the band buck carpenter.
I called him so many buck, Arpenter.
I call them some of the one-
Some are Carpenter.
We don't see enough brother sister duo's.
We've said it before.
It was very true.
Carpenter's.
I like when it's ambiguous.
Why try and lose?
You like when it's ambiguous.
You like a certain gay duo.
I just love that.
You look ambiguous.
Like, I do.
Well, I remember growing up and being like,
that's how I learned about ambiguous men.
I remember being an adult learning
of what ambiguous men were.
Well, I bet you did.
Yeah, when it was a little.
Oh, that's for her.
Oh.
We're back together in the same room.
Paul ended up dodging COVID.
I didn't get it.
That's where they call me the artful dodger.
That's terrific.
They do call you that a lot. Also, I do pick people's pocket. That's true. Okay.
You've got to you have an army of orphans. Well, now the fig and past. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Poor
one out. I'm really sorry. How did you can die? How did you die? COVID. COVID. How was it? COVID.
How what? How was it? COVID. How did he die? COVID. How did he die? COVID. He died of COVID. How was it COVID? How was it COVID? How what? How was it COVID?
How did he die COVID?
How did he die COVID?
He died of COVID 11.
Oh, I look good.
So he just had an interesting...
18-11.
Yeah.
Wow.
So you were dancing between the raindrops.
You ended up not getting it.
Yeah.
So we're back in person.
I love that for you.
I really thought, because people...
Because you were a crucian.
Yeah, and I was getting notifications left and right. Well, because everyone there had it. Yeah, I really thought, because people, because you were, I was getting a cruciate. Yeah, and I was getting notifications left and right.
Well, because everyone there had it.
Yeah.
Of course.
I went to a beautiful wedding on tonight.
And I saw Tony, which is why I'm jumping to that.
I saw a wedding that I didn't go to.
Oh, boy.
It is.
I feel like I was there because of Instagram.
Naomi, a pair of good and Andy Beckerman's wedding,
which was, well, you weren't there.
Well, I wasn't there.
Oh, no, it was not the wedding that I ended up not going.
Oh, I thought you meant to stop it.
Yes, go.
Other people were left that wedding to go to go to go to go to.
They were the same day.
Yeah, I didn't realize it was.
I would believe that.
That's amazing.
That was like the pressures on it.
That's amazing for these party goers.
The prayer time along to do.
But it was so beautiful and it was just special.
What was beautiful about it?
Naomi looked literally.
What was so beautiful about this wedding?
The love was, let's just say, the love was incredible and it was palpable.
But Naomi, you could feel the love that I could.
That night I could.
Should we get married for the podcast?
Not Nepal.
No, no, the three of us.
Should we, like anytime you start a podcast with someone,
you should have a podcast wedding.
I think whenever you share bank accounts.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
What I was just going to say,
when we can see each other in the hospital,
he came down when they had the ceremony,
which was beautiful and the officiant was so funny.
I just met him that night, but I didn't know him.
And after they came down the aisle,
they left the aisle down, you know, after the kiss,
was the perfect stranger's theme song.
And I was in heaven.
What?
I was out in that crowd.
Out nine.
Okay, well let me just get into it
because I'm gonna mix up 10, 10, 10 these songs.
I know.
Right now, hold on.
I think I'd blossom in my head immediately.
I know, because you want me to find it. Yeah, because I'm singing a punky bruister. I can't stop.
Well, sing punky bruister while I look for this. Okay. I can't know because I already
sing punky bruister. Please sing punky bruister for me. You do a favor. Standing On the wings of our dreams Rise and fall
On the wings of our dreams
Oh
And I was so happy, I truly was like this is my dream scenario
Did that make you cry?
Yeah
The world looks perfect
Nothing could be arranged
Sometimes you just get a feeling like you need some kind of change.
No matter what the odds are this time,
nothing's gonna stand in my ways.
They didn't start it here though.
We didn't wait 30 seconds, one minute.
I'll hear it start with the chorus.
Here's three, one.
Stand.
Oh. Standing.
To all the winds of our dreams.
Rise and fall.
All the winds of our dreams.
The winds of thunder.
The winds and rain are down for better days.
Some shit.
It's so fun. I know why these are down for better days. Some shit.
It's so fun.
I know why things are so fun.
My dream and nothing gonna stop me now.
The writers must have been,
we're about to real through it.
The writers must have been through.
Bill, that's less with,
oh my god, two pages don't have to do.
It's my life, my dreams, nothing to have stopped me now.
And that's all over Balke.
You know, it's like it's giving it such grandiosity.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
By the way, now they're arriving in America.
Like, it's so fucking awesome.
This is a full version.
It's also, it has something to do with the idea
of being perfect strangers.
Yeah, yeah.
That was it.
Okay.
Has it under the relationship at all?
No, this song.
No, this song.
It's Jesse Frederick Bennett Salvee, performed by David Bomaran.
Let me say it's a great song,
but it has really been with being perfect strangers.
You said you should out of that.
I love the idea of coming down the aisle to that.
We were,
Well, retreating.
Well, that's what I'm trying to say.
I can't find the word.
Do you know what they put process to?
Yeah, I never heard the song.
There's a processional and the recessional.
I never heard the song, but the song she walked.
I learned about that because I wrote a script once,
said it a wedding and I said, here comes the bride plays as everyone left the place and my
mom made me feel stupid when she read it and said, it would be the recessional. Wow, you idiot.
No, she went down the alto song. I had never heard that was something like, it was like a slow indie rock song. That was like.
My back, my pussy and my cry.
It was about that.
It was like, don't be afraid of love.
And I just loved it.
I mean, the balls, they've been together forever.
They're just getting married.
Don't be afraid of love.
And the wedding was on the anniversary of their first kiss.
They're two years really 13 years before.
Cool.
I haven't tried to, well, at one point I pitched,
hey, should we get married on the 10th anniversary
of our first date?
And she went, I'm not waiting that long.
Wow.
And how many years ended it get married?
Six.
I ended up being nine and a half.
Oh, come on.
Not weeks either.
Hey, hey, we were looking at the scarecrow
and Mrs. King theme song the other day
Jason Menzook isn't will hide I don't know that song. I don't know either it is so long
This is not how I guess it would have gone but yeah dramas too if we're planning this game
I need you to play the who's the boss theme song because that's the best most emotional theme song
Most emotional. Most most
it evokes emotion. Which one? Uh nostalgia. This song is making me crazy. It sounds like
mad. But we were just laughing at how long because it's just like a ton of stuff is
happening underneath all of this.
Like they're trying to tell so much story.
Just play who's the boss that you can feel,
what it feels like to move somewhere in the fall.
I'll just close this tab of the Unicorn to be me.
I'll close the tab, I had to open up the Unicorn movie.
Because I made a reference in a purve.
I went to the premiere.
Well, it's still perverted.
I went, I made a, no, someone made a unicorn reference
on an upcoming CBB episode.
And I said, with Lauren Lapkiss
and they were talking about a show.
Yeah, there was a show called the unicorn
around the same time, which was about
that guy being like a single dad,
or something like that.
Oh, because he was unicorn.
Right, right, right.
Hot single person or something. I mean, didns, it's like a hot single person.
I mean, didn't that used to apply to like,
through up, it was a three,
well, that was the premise in that movie is that it's
a unicorn is someone who's coming into a couple.
I thought it was someone who did anal.
I don't know, does that have a horn?
A unicorn.
All right, here's who's the boss.
Oh, first we have a Google Chrome man.
He told us this isn't it.
He told us he didn't get excited.
Videos gonna play after this ad.
Hey, why don't you try Google Chrome?
You can do Chromecast.
Season three, apparently.
Oh, aired September 23, 1986, May 1987.
May, yeah.
T.
Does this make you feel nothing?
Steal it in.
Nothing, I feel nothing.
Oh wow.
I never watched it.
I was too old.
But that's not really, it's like I still feel like I would do something, but I guess not.
No.
Do you have a nostalgia for this thing you never watched?
It's not objectively a great song, I'm sorry.
Ha ha ha ha.
Branding left around the bend.
Come on, you can go be someone's maid.
This is good because it applies to both of them.
Yes.
Lost a dream or two.
What?
It's a street in Connecticut, probably.
Why did Mike Post get to have hit theme songs?
And no one else did.
He really believed it.
So they were not with the one that got to be it. I mean, I mean, believe it or not,
was one thing, got to be it.
Mike Post wrote so many TV shows.
He wrote Hill Street Blues.
He wrote, he wrote, he wrote,
he wrote, he wrote, he wrote,
Alan Thick wrote a theme song.
Alan Thick wrote a bunch.
He wrote a bunch.
Mike Post hit.
Mike Post, they charted.
Pete Carpenter?
Wait, did they really chart because I will listen
to these songs like it's fun. Okay,'m gonna look at Mike post discography and we'll see
which of you I mean how do they get on the radio like they're just like playing the full
version on the radio because people liked the theme song I think that they just when it's another
way for them to make money so that they probably sent it to radio stations okay here's here's
here's a full version of this.
And like be sure to watch. Welcome back.
Carter this weekend. Here's the comes up in the middle.
Okay. Here's here's the one that started the lowest, which I don't
even know what it is. Manhattan spiritual. What?
That charted at 56, but who knows what it is. Okay.
So then you have Magnum PI at 25.
Oh, sure.
That charted at 25.
Absolutely.
It's a banger, it's a good song.
It's a great song.
Then you have...
I don't think I know that one.
Magnum PI?
I don't really know.
Well, see, this is the thing.
We have nostalgia for the things we have.
I understand how nostalgia works.
Did it do it, did it do it, boo boo. Sweet do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do asked the Bustericop. But it was kind of a funny thing because basically this person I'm working with asked me to talk to his daughter's in-prove class.
OK.
Tell the story you'll make it more exciting.
Yeah, yeah.
So I went to all the way to the west side,
and I spoke to them.
And then he was asking me, and it was me and Brandon Scott Jones.
And he was asking me and Brandon Scott Jones some questions
about how we started doing improv, because these kids
are just getting into it and all this stuff. It was very nice. But one of the things he was asking me and Brandon's got drones, some questions about how we started doing improv because these kids are just getting into it and all this stuff, it was very nice.
But one of the things, he was like,
what did you, like, what about, what made you want to be funny?
And I was like, I watched a lot of TV
and I watched a lot of SNL, and I was like,
I want a dead attention.
And I was like, you won't know what I'm talking about,
but like, three is company, like the slapstick
and three is company.
And then they were all just like,
Dad, I was like, I'm not, but I was like,
but that was older than me. I was like, I'm, it wasn't even my attack, you know, I'm like just like dad I was like I'm not but I was like that was older than me I was like I wasn't even my
you know like I'm not that old I'm not I'm not that I love it was like when I
was in high school and if someone was 37 I'd be like you're 1000 like you would
say someone like he's like 30 like you're getting played off okay
anyway what do you have to play it over your own Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Anyway, I thought it was extreme.
What if you got played over your own song?
You're accepting an award.
And then suddenly, da da da da da.
Okay, so let me tell you the one that charted higher.
I will also say I did improv with the children
and they were quite fun.
Oh, they were really cute.
That's very cute.
Usually when they ask a question, it's usually like,
hey, who's your age and can I have your age?
Well, honestly, their questions were very informed
because they're in LA.
Like it was just like the questions that they had,
I was like, I would never have thought to ask this.
Brandon Scott Jones, another person called by his initials,
like me.
BSJ, absolutely.
Yeah.
Okay, charting at number 10, two singles charted at 10.
Rockford Files and Hills Creek Blues.
Rockford Files is a great song. That's a great one. Yeah, okay, and then his
Zilchrys was like to connect it to the show. I feel sorry LA law was at 13 that also charted
His can't remember that one LA law. Yeah, oh go take this
It's a leg and it's the law. It's that late. It's the
Oh
I want to have six now bitches legal style It's that late minister. He's an angel. This is Eddlbert. This is Eddlbert. This is Eddlbert. Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert.
Eddlbert. Eddlbert. Eddlbert. Eddlbert. Eddlbert. Yeah, he's coming out of the screen and the person and how to wear. So how did this chart, like why were people listening to this for pleasure?
That show was a hot show.
People loved it.
Yeah.
But is there a theme song even?
So number, his highest, at number two, believe it or not,
I'm walking on air.
What was the greatest American here?
That's his highest.
Oh, that's his highest.
Yeah, what, what, no, number two.
Number two, the highest song.
What's like, it's a great song.
What's, what are his highest, or we're at the top now? That's the top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He never had a number one. Number two. Number three four. What's Twitter is high? We're at the top now.
That's where it starts.
Yeah, yeah.
You never had a number one hit.
Okay.
Play a little bit of the Rockford files.
Yeah, it's so good.
Did you ever see the Rockford files?
No, I don't know what that is.
I remember when I was a kid in syndication, I want to...
I think maybe ten years ago I started watching the pilot because I was like, I got to get
back into this and it was so slow
that I was, I like this.
What's it about?
This part sounds,
that sounds different to me, that synthesized part.
Sounds like a real name.
Can I guess what it's about based on the name and the song?
Yeah.
It's about a monocle player,
as a keeper. That kind of threw me off a little bit.
I was sort of like, my first thought was,
it's like X-Files, but it's like aliens.
Oh.
And then I was like, okay, Rock for Tiles,
it's like some detectives files, but he's a cowboy.
Yeah, he sort of, he's, I mean, James Garner
and he kind of has a cowboy five tone.
So he's a PI, yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
And he's kind of like a downtrodden guy.
Yeah, he lives in a trailer, I believe, doesn't he?
Yeah, does he?
At the show, it opened with somebody leaving a message
on his answering machine, and it was only somebody
who was kind of mad at him for some reason.
Right.
And it was a different message every time.
So they had like this little cold open.
Oh my God.
It was always different.
Yeah.
I did watch Colombo pilot.
Yeah.
And second episode recently.
Colombo pilot's wild.
It's so cool.
Colombo could not believe it.
She's like, when this is the pilot,
when does Colombo come in?
It was, it was minute 19.
Yeah.
They haven't had a problem for a long time.
And then, well, because the gimmick was,
you see how the killer killer did it first.
Oh, and then Colombo figures it out. You know, you said out and you watch him figure it out.
Was that when you watch him? Yeah, you watch him. You already know.
Yeah, right. He he breaks like three eggs, right. And then touches everything in the kitchen.
So,
Jay, we watch you that she was losing her mind.
I get out of my kitchen, Colombo.
That's funky.
But he always is like.
It's funky.
He always shows up pretending to be.
I'm trying that instead of nasty, I just decided.
He always shows up pretending to be there
for a different reason.
Yeah.
So he can grill the person.
So he's always like, oh, I was in the area.
I was just kind of...
Peter Falk.
Yeah. He's like, I was just kind of a look into property was in the area. I was just kind of, Peter Falk. Yeah.
He's like, I was just kind of looking into property here
in the area.
I was wondering if maybe I was in.
I was admiring the bush out front,
look so vibrant and green.
Yeah, maybe you could tell me what kind of,
oh, and by the way, what was that?
Oh, I'd let him in.
What was that thing?
He was fucking great.
He was the last thing to kill your wife.
Yeah.
And then every episode is an hour and a half.
That's the other thing.
What? That's so long.
Because it was filling a movie slot.
Is what I found out later.
It was filling a two hour movie slot
of like, history of the week.
How much you got paid?
I think, probably at least a dollar.
I think it was $100 per half hour.
So, and this was pre-residuals.
This is pre-residuals.
And also different, I mean, just for inflationiduous. This is pre-residuous, and also a different,
I mean, just for inflation.
Well, how much one pound would you have?
I mean, I also got to kick him in the first place.
Yeah, House cost one dollar.
So he was really rich.
Yeah.
He had three houses for every half hour.
Yeah.
Oh, that's a lot.
He just moved around a lot.
He'd watched the show in each of his houses.
I love that.
That's the thing. He would get paid to do the show
and then they would pay him to watch the show.
That is the thing.
Yeah. So they could fudge the N the show. That is the thing. Yeah.
So they could fudge the Nielsen,
yeah, exactly the same words.
Like he watches his own show.
I have a relative, we've had a Nielsen box at one point.
I knew someone had it.
I might have a relative who had one.
Oh, exciting.
I always wanted one when I was a kid.
Well, wouldn't that be so fun?
They care what you think?
It's like, now we can give feedback on Instagram ads,
but that's not the same.
No, it's not the same.
It's not the same.
I did go to like TV testing when I was a kid.
I would drive up here with my friend
and they would show us like shitty sitcoms.
Yeah.
And we would turn the dial and stuff like that.
Yeah.
People can be very hate-filled, I would imagine,
because when you have control of that dial,
you just want to send it.
If I don't like something, I'm going red zone.
Oh yeah, I was at zero almost the entire time,
because it was so.
Flover hate.
Flover hate.
Yeah.
That's the only way to share.
Did that show make it to air?
No, I never made it to air.
It was so fucking bad.
It was, I mean, it must have been,
it must have been 1980, was I in 1985?
Yeah, you were in it.
Yeah, it was your pilot.
Oh no.
That you wrote.
I'm so sorry.
Did you ever have a pilot that you wrote?
Did you ever have a pilot that you wrote? Did you ever have a pilot that you wrote?
Uh, never. Not over the phone.
It was like a bill.
I thought it was bill cause we choked it out.
British guy. Did you have a pilot that you wrote?
Um, I have written a pilot. It did not go.
So I've never written anything that got made.
Uh-huh. But it, but someone was entertaining that idea briefly.
They were briefly entertaining the idea, yes.
Oh, it was very cool.
It was very cool to get that call.
We entertained this idea, briefly.
Hey, we thought about it, and the answer is no.
It's like, it's cool that you thought about it.
I appreciate that I was in the mind at all.
I remember once doing a, I was on a,
and a focus group for cigarettes in Philadelphia.
Wow.
Oh, I just remembered it.
Just the concept of cigarettes?
It was a new cigarette that we were trying.
Wow.
What was, was it square?
What was the new one?
It was square.
It was square.
I'm sure it was.
I did one of those once for like $60.
Like a square, either, you get square.
For ribbies.
I don't know how I ended up there, but I got $60.
And I had to like give my opinion on something,
but I came up with what it was.
I think it was a movie.
Mm.
Yeah.
Of course, I famously did movie surveys.
Wow.
And I was so famous for that.
That's, I think that's what I'm most known for.
You're what you need.
That's how I reached the most people in America, for sure.
Probably.
Was calling them at their homes and having them
giving them the opportunity to hang up on me.
What's the weirdest thing you did for money? We must have talked about this already.
Oh my god, sex.
Yeah, of course.
But we're sex.
Yeah.
We're sex.
We're to whom?
Exactly right.
You know what I'm trying.
Exactly right.
It was it was an educational thing for people to not kink shame.
Oh god, I got it.
And so you just had sex in front of a class?
Yeah. Yeah.
And they were all like, eehhhhh.
I said, and I said, I'm glad you did that.
Because...
If you had to have, okay.
If you had to have sex in front of a group of people,
and they just went, nae-u, the entire time,
would you be able to complete it? I told you.
Wait, wait, wait, I don't know.
If you had to have sex, but it wasn't sex,
I mean, this is sex, I guess, but it was,
it was like foot people sex,
where someone,
foot people sex.
It's only involving feet and genitals.
And everyone's going,
eww, the whole time.
If I were on the foot end of the equation, I bet I could do it.
I bet I could.
That means nothing to me.
I don't care.
It means nothing to me.
You'll be no baby anymore embarrassing because you'd be like trying something.
It's the way it would be the first time you did this kind of thing?
Yeah.
But I have all my clothes on except for one shoe and sock, right?
No.
No.
I'm about to scream.
Oh, you can see the foot.
No, you can see a shadow of your outline.
You're still wet.
So, fetishes are such a wild thing when somebody's into a thing that you're not, it never
occurs to you to be into. And knowing like that's into a thing that you're not, it never occurs to you to be into.
And knowing like that's their whole thing.
Yeah, it seems like it's just like a lot.
Like when I watched Real Sex growing up,
to your watch, yeah.
On HBO?
And the-
Those little two real for me.
Yeah, it's like all these-
Like give me some fake sex.
Like don't pop people.
Have people ever gonna remember?
Newtry's party is yeah.
Yeah.
But it was fun.
I love when they would like interview the people
on the street quarter and be like,
do you like blow jobs?
Yeah, I like to blow job.
That was during taxi cab confessions.
And they had like street interviews.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which was so great.
Like they did on the first season of Sex in the City.
Yes, which was so worth it.
I just like when I go out with a girl,
and she's once put a balloon up, I ask,
what, call me crazy.
And then like we never see that guy again.
You're like, how do we do that?
They would do that on the first few seasons
of Seinfeldra, there'd be this guy that would be talking
in between the scene.
Right, I think he sold that the whole way through, actually.
They did it till the end, right?
No, no, no, no, he stopped doing it.
No, no.
But they would do it at the beginning.
Yes, they did at the beginning.
But he said, yeah, we were in the middle.
At the end, he would do the lesson, right,
yeah, on stage.
But I just remember, maybe it was a true life,
like I have a fetish or something, like MTV.
But there was one about balloons,
where it was someone who was sexually charged to balloons
and like in the shape of boobs?
Or just...
I think the automates we are, but...
And then another person who liked to sit on cakes, I remember.
Mm-hmm.
Or see people do that.
Cake sitter.
There is a thing called cake sitter.
That's definitely a thing.
And there's only cake farters.
There is.
They fart on cakes or they fart cake.
They fart on to the... How do't fart, how do they fart cake?
They shurly.
They eat a bunch of cake.
Janine Garofalo used to cite that as why she did not have a website because she said
the perfect one already exists.
Yeah.
And it was that.
Cake fart.
I'm not going to say it.
Cake first.
Cake first.
Orgasm.
Okay.
We need to take a break.
But Paul's going to say it when we come back.
Paul's gonna say it, we promise.
When we come back.
We swear.
We swear.
We swear.
We come back, listen to the ads,
but come back cause Paul right. Cake problems.
Did I say?
Oh, come on, man.
But anyway, you know, when you're a young, impressionable mind, and you see something and it
just sticks with you.
Well, you need traumatizes?
Yes.
Do you have anything like that where you saw, like, oh, people can be into that, no.
But sometimes doesn't it make you into it when you're young and impressionable?
Oh, I think if you're like, if you're like a little, little kid and then you, you know,
it's not how a lot of those things start.
This is horrible, but I remember seeing when I was like, I was too young to see this.
My neighbor had, you know, a stash of, this was like your classic, uh, pornos in the
woods.
Yeah, yeah, they're wet damn
He says he's got the goods
And okay, Jim one of them we talk about your new lyrics
Okay, first of all a huge fan. It's so specific though Jim I
Ligicky, I love everything about you. You're the Doris Perception. I'm gonna write some poems.
You better hurry up.
Okay, but I gotta ask that your new song,
Pornos in the woods.
Pornos in the woods.
Could it be about anything else?
Was that a personal experience?
And yeah, we like the melody.
We just kind of feel like maybe you could make it
about something else.
Like the Volkery's?
Have you ever thought about it?
Who are they?
I think you can connect with the business.
Is that a portal magazine?
Probably heavy metal.
Well, I saw one that was like not one of your,
it was like an off brand,
not one of the main,
not Playboy, not Penthouse,
not Swank or Wii.
Which I always thought was ooi.
Yeah, I had no idea how to pronounce that.
Ooey.
Let me see that ooey magazine.
And because I was gonna say ooey.
There was like a photo, there was like a-
Things to make you say.
Photos for that.
I think the idea was like weird fetishes or whatever.
And one was a top, a topless woman.
Of course, no head involved.
You just make a real topless.
Neck down and in front of her is a plate of-
This is the way you like to find one.
I don't even want.
There was a plate of shit in front of her,
she had a knife and fork.
Oh no, that makes me want to gag.
And gag.
And it was, I wish I had never seen.
Well I remember hearing a rumor about someone,
I won't say who.
I'll could just say who.
No, no, no.
Is it divine?
Yes, that's true.
Yeah, right.
Divine art.
You've seen that.
Yeah, I just watched it.
And I have not seen that.
Really?
I've never seen that.
It's, I mean, it's the very last shot in the movie.
Yeah.
So you could turn it off right before it.
That's good to know.
The story ends.
That's good to know.
Before that happened.
I loved when Jake was talking about John Waters, you know, remembering and like they realized
they didn't know what the effects were of a human being eating.
Well, I guess I could imagine.
It could have felt like illness.
Bad.
By the way, I listened to John Waters on Ricky Lakes podcast and it was an interesting interview.
If that's something that might be of interest to anyone out there in the world.
But maybe it was to me.
I am very fond of him.
Yeah, it was really interesting.
But what was it gonna say?
You were talking about,
Oh yeah, this person apparently liked to make a woman,
or he liked to,
You looked to make a woman.
No, no, no, hold on,
Is it for the Frankenstein?
He preferred for the woman to do the following.
He wanted to get,
he would get under a glass table and he wanted to go on top and do the duty, duty, putty, putty or Danny Thomas. Danny Thomas,
that's right. No, it's not allegedly, by the way, we can't talk about it.
It hits a little closer to home.
Okay. So this is someone we know. All right, we'll feel it. Now I'm itching to take a break
so we can hear who this is.
But, and if you're listening, hey,
oh, I hope you enjoyed the channel.
By the way, huge course. We love her.
Where's the beef you wonder?
We love it, everybody.
We love it, we love it.
We love it so much, we don't know,
but we love it so much.
We respect her.
I was watching television this weekend.
No way, you saw her.
No, there is a new Clara Pellar,
spokesperson for Wendy's with a never-ending phrase.
What?
What is it?
Squares the beef.
Are you fucking kidding?
Oh, so they heard our episode and they thought
this can come back.
Yeah, because their burgers are square.
Yeah.
So squares the beef and here.
Honestly, they waited too long.
And here is the spokesperson I want to know.
I want to open it up to the group.
Whether this person should be an honorary Pizz Big.
Okay.
Okay.
Reggie Miller. Oh, well, he's my, big. Okay. Okay. Reggie Miller.
Oh, well, he's my, he's, first of all, I met Reggie Miller when I did
an early a show and we had a total of connection.
We're totally in love.
Really?
No, it was the bit in the scene, but he was so great.
I loved him.
He was awesome.
So is he an honorary piss big?
So he has to be.
I need more details.
Is he dressed as Clara Pellar?
Not that I could tell, although to be honest,
his eyes were up here and I was not looking down low.
Is he as bad at delivering the line as Clara Pellar was?
I think he's probably better at it.
He's charming.
You know what's ironic?
He's a giant and yet he stands on the shoulders
of a giant.
That's true, Clara P a giant. That's true.
Lara Peller.
That's true.
Well, it's interesting.
I vote no.
I can't.
You vote no.
It's not just because of Wendy's, because of who Clara was.
Okay, that's a good, okay.
Now, I vote.
Okay, though.
A cancer-ridden stenographer or whatever.
I vote yes, because I think he is a great person to represent the Pist-Pigs.
And he's...
And you have a masterful girlfriend.
And we have a bad...
I love to fart on basketball.
He'd be on the Pist-Pig street team, essentially,
out there repping for us.
I think just people to know that he was one,
I think, would be good for the podcast.
Yeah.
No look, I would...
I would love to have an honorary Pist-Pig
who is still alive and will live for a few more years to come.
Sure.
But you know, tall people are short-lived when you get that tall.
It's like you're a great dean.
Oh my God.
The blood can't get to where it needs to go.
I know, yeah.
That's why I sleep upside down.
Yeah, I knew it.
I knew it.
And not because I'm a vampire.
Oh, I have no thought about that.
Well, okay, so you have the final vote.
Well, look, I was bold over.
I was dumbstruck when I saw this commercial.
And again, if you're listening for the first time,
Piss Pigs is the collective nickname for our audience.
But you voted on.
They voted on.
What was the thing they're voting against?
Well, because I think the one was like sweet fans.
Right, it was sweet fans.
Yeah, yeah.
And everyone said, no, we're obviously Piss Pigs. Three Doreables, I think, was that all there? Yeah, three Dore was like sweet fans. Right, it was sweet fans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And everyone said, no, we're obviously pissed fans.
Three dorkals, I think, was that all there?
Yeah, three dorkals and sweet fans.
I think for like the top two.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I think also just like respected audience.
Well, we say to the each were in like single digit polling.
I mean, well, nobody wanted it.
Pisspings was nine days.
No, it was swept the fucking.
Pisspings was like far and away.
It was a survey on Reddit, I think.
Yes.
It was, you can look it up and you can look it up and find it.
Yeah, you can't vote anymore because voting is closed.
Yeah, but you can see the results.
Yeah.
So anyway, if you're listening, yeah, we're
trying to figure out whether Reggie Miller, the basketball
player from the show.
Yeah, if you're just listening now,
we're trying to figure this out.
If you would, if you would, if you just turn on the podcast,
what's happened?
OK, so if you just tune in, what happened is,
what would you want to read?
Just a second ago, we're recapping.
I think we should recap.
If people had just tuned in.
I think we should recap.
Yes.
From the beginning really quickly,
just a couple of quick lines.
Yeah.
We talked about TV theme songs, we talked about fetishes.
Paul Saw, a porno of a woman eating shit.
The door is headed on a personal version of their song.
Yes.
And then.
Divine, eight dog Yes. And then.
With a knife and a fork.
Divine, eight dog shit.
And then I think that's pretty much where we go.
Yeah, pretty much where we go.
Yeah, when you really encapsulate like that, why do people listen?
And Clara Peller was in a, well, come on.
I think everything's been delightful.
Clara Peller.
Honorary piss pig.
Yes.
In previous episodes, she, of course, we talked about her career and we realized she was a
piss pig because of just everything about it.
She just fit the description now. And of course she's passed on and she's in purgatory.
You think she's still in purgatory? I think there's been enough time at this point.
She's a centred or a decent. For like a few years. Purgatory is a long torment.
You think it's hundreds and hundreds? Yes, you can't be for some people, but for Claire Pellor?
Yes. None of us is without sin.
And she lived a long life.
It's true.
It's supposed to be a torment,
but you're not bad enough to go to hell.
Yes, it is to purge you of your, of her mark of sin.
Exactly.
So the younger you are, the less time you spend in purgatory.
Yeah, probably, it stands to reason,
unless you're a bad seed and you've committed many, many things.
Oh, like the good son.
We're the bad seed.
All right. That good son son. For the bad seed. All right.
That good son, more like that bad seed.
Is that in the, I didn't see the movie,
but is that aligned in the movie?
Yes it is.
It's how it ends.
Good.
Anyway, so it's directly there.
It ends with them saying that and then they eat dog shit.
They all, yeah.
They count down three, two, one.
They all say it in unison.
The good son, more like that bad seed.
And then they bow.
And then I feel a fork, because we know that.
Yeah, there's a picnic table
with like the red and white checkered table.
And it's just,
And it's a very hard knife and fork
that they all can grab on.
Yeah, it's just pile with all kinds of shit.
And there's also a ton of different knives
and fork's like different new pencils.
Like so if you kind of were like,
I want a small fork, I want a big fork. I want a sport. Yeah, it's like a bachelor's apart. I'm on a ladle
It's like one plastic one for many different restaurants. Yeah
Anyway, so how do I vote god Reggie Miller? Who do you play for the Pacers? Oh?
No, don't look at me. I'm supposed to know this
But so so to know this. But the Kremlin's supposed to know this.
I like him.
I'm supposed to know this.
The sons.
I feel like we need to, I'm too
mind to feel like we need to open this up to the fans to try to tweet at
Reggie Miller.
I don't, I don't know.
No, no, no, no, no, not bring the words to his Twitter fee you pull up under the other pole, okay?
Yeah, under the original yeah, okay
I'll fix pull and then you can vote there do not inform them of this because the voting is not
Is not and tag Lauren. Oh, no, you're not
Damn it. Isn't that wonderful. I really like it. I'm about to leave it's so great
I'm gonna wait for the book to come out.
You don't miss it.
No, I don't miss it.
The only time I kind of missed it was,
it was not, maybe it was the Golden Globes.
It was whatever a work show.
I do like seeing like the Oscars, you're seeing me?
No, because I didn't watch it.
Oh.
I got home after my show and I watched all the speeches
and I was like, this is the way to do it.
It's great.
Love, love the speeches.
A lot of really good speeches this year.
Yeah.
Oh, and then so we watched the ones that were available on Hulu like right after the show,
which was not that many.
And then we went to YouTube and there were a few more on there.
And then one of the clips on YouTube from the Oscars that just happened, yeah, was two minutes of the RRR
dance number, but not only two minutes. They joined it in progress. I get the it was so like why?
We're the best parts with the beginning and the end. Yeah, it's really good. It's like did they
not pay their. Did you watch our? I had to see that. I had no idea it was fun like that. It's
really good. I'm excited to watch it. It's really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
So, so we'll leave it up to the fans and we'll come, we'll come back next week with
the results of the poll.
Yes.
Again, do not tweet, Reggie.
Phil Reaver's not need to know that the show exists.
He can't know until the results are.
Sure.
And then he'll be incredibly honored.
Oh, be, of course, devastating.
It's, well, if he does, if it doesn't work, go his way, then we're not going to tell him.
I mean, that's cruel.
Yeah, that's cruel.
Exactly.
I always appreciate when I go to an audition, I love not hearing back.
Oh, well, then you'd be in heaven, my career.
Also please do tweet the surviving relatives of Clara Peller and let them know that she
is indeed an honor.
Here's what I really, is Joe Gugles.
Speaking of the Oscars was the target of every joke
weighed in about how the joke was not funny.
Hey, what do you mean?
So Holly sure, that joke about me was not funny.
Yeah, on TMZ or whatever.
Oh my God.
And then Robert Blake's son, that joke about my dad
was not funny. It's just like, hey guys, yeah, we get it. If the joke is about you, you're going to think it's
not funny. Yeah. That's the time. That's how that works. Yeah. That's not a scoop.
Yeah. Thank you. Your dad just died. What did you think about this joke? Didn't care for it.
I thought Jimmy Kimmel was funny. Yeah. He did a great job. Yeah. Yeah. There's kind of no winning
in that job anymore. Yeah.
Because everyone just complains about everything.
But I thought he did a great Anadine job
where he just like breathes through it,
it's funny.
Isn't it sort of like not necessary to have a host?
Well, they tried it without a host, no one cared.
So see what you need is you need the posters
with the host kissing the Oscars
and having like a big arm full of them.
Hostar, poster, poster. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like having a host. I like having a host too. I think it's just fun. It makes it feel like an event.
I also weirdly think they tried
so many different things in the previous years.
I don't think you need the different things anymore.
We just like it the way,
like have the hosts come out, tell funny jokes,
have the same structure.
We like it better that way.
I saw some article that was like,
this generation wants it to be like this generation.
I thought that too.
Wanted to be like TikTok. And they want to be like degeneration. I thought that too. Wanted to be like TikTok.
And they want to be like fast, quick things.
Because it's good about TikTok.
I don't think it's the dancing that I see on TikTok.
It's all cute about TikTok.
It's all just above the waist with people
bopping side to side.
But do you know what it is, too?
They have this special technique.
And I don't trust someone out there knows more.
But there's a camera filter or app or something
you're using where it keeps them,
centers.
But also in the background can move a little.
So it makes them look like they're dancing
much more intensely.
Really?
Wow.
It's like, it's like, it's something that's happening.
Every TikTok scene has been like three friends
getting together,
doing the most basic dance side to side
and then laughing and turning the camera off.
Yeah, it's garbage trash.
It's literally trash and our brains are rotting.
I can't look at it for too long.
It starts to just,
yeah, I don't use that to go on.
It starts to ask you to come inside the phone.
Yeah, I'll just, you don't have to talk about it. Yeah, of course, yes.'t use that. It starts to ask you to come inside the phone. Yeah, I'll get you don't talk about it.
Of course, yes.
It has that weird whisper and the sirens call.
Sometimes the hand starts to come out.
Yes, exactly.
And grab you by the throat.
Lauren's signing pictures of herself.
Oh my god.
Self-centered much. No, I'm done. And she's finally done. I want to
announce that. Thank you so much. Congratulations. Congratulations. You can purchase these. These are very,
although I don't know whether or not. Oh, I can't remember the name of the person who drew these.
Well, delightful fan art. Yeah, I would tell you, but we'll find out. We'll definitely find out.
All right, we have to take a break. When we come back, Paul's gonna say that thing that we wanted him to say.
Oh, he's getting ready.
He's getting ready.
He's been hyping himself up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's been doing push-ups in the corner.
I look in the mirror and I take my pants down.
Oh, I say the rosary.
I say the rosary.
My bellybutts up here.
That's what he's doing.
Alright, we'll be right back.
I don't know why. And we're back and it's time for a three-tter.
But first, but first, the corrections department
has descended upon three-tum of all podcasts.
This is a clarification
You remember we played three via where we have trivia about each other and we have to be it
It's a great game. We didn't we never got to stevia. I feel bad. I know so many questions
We don't think they're to feel bad. I love talking about it. Oh
I felt that
I felt that. Lord, it hurt me on the table.
Oh my God, there's like a pointy.
It's the class between the two.
Okay, I'll try to.
There's nothing you can do.
There's nothing I can do.
I mean, maybe there is, but it doesn't matter.
I could just be more careful.
I'm looking at this.
Something you could do is see me in court.
So when we first did the Freedom Trivia,
it was submitted by Nathan Diffie.
Yeah.
Great, Nathan Diffie.
And then we did it again,
but questions were sent in by a different person,
somebody named Lee.
Yeah.
And just wanted to clarify,
because there might have been some overlapping questions
that nobody was swiping
anybody else's questions. They are sent them independently of each other.
Right. Oh, was that a question?
Wait. I don't know what we're talking about right now.
Well, so we, are you going to explain?
This is just, no, I am doing it. Are you going to explain yourself, Paul?
Because we're sitting here waiting for this to make sense.
Are you gonna explain yourself Paul? Because we're sitting here waiting for this to make sense.
So just so both Nathan and Lee know,
no one, they came up with their questions independently.
It just happened that some of them coincided.
Some of them where they came up with the same thing.
It was parallel thought.
Yes, parallel thought.
Yes, which happens a lot in comedy.
Okay.
It does.
I just got asked about a joke I made earlier this morning,
someone texted me and said,
what was your joke about such and such
because they're writing for a show and I don't want us.
I don't want us.
Sometimes it happens, you know.
You don't even know.
And I said, ask me if I give a shit.
If you steal my joke.
You give a shit?
I do.
I asked him, please don't do it.
Like, can you paint the allers?
Sorry, so Lee, I think Lee, it doesn't matter.
But anyway, so that's the point.
Oh, no, I'm, oh well.
If there were duplicate questions, it may have been.
Who's the clarification?
The clarification.
Yeah, because I didn't realize that was the question.
We're trying to clear the air for both of them.
But they're both heated and they're both very upset.
Oh my god, they're both furious.
I was gonna say, I'm in the middle.
I thought maybe you were going to mention that we got one wrong gonna say, I'm in the middle. I thought maybe you were gonna mention
that we got one wrong.
Well, I answered my own questions.
Yes, now that the corrections apply,
that's what you got.
This is really embarrassing.
There was a question.
And did we look this up to make sure?
Part of, no.
Part of what?
This is the best kind of correct.
Part of what I love is that the questions
don't come with answers because they're about us
and we should know.
And I still didn't know when I got my own question wrong.
But here's part of why it was hard for me.
It was a fact-based question.
This was not based on my memories.
It's not based on your feelings.
Or my feelings.
It was in my memories and my feelings,
which is what I remember the most,
is based on a fact, which I care about the least.
So it's not based on your memories, which are not facts.
My memories are whatever I need.
Hey, our memories are not facts.
Look, I might say shit that's not true, but I would still know the answer to the question
because it's whatever I've created in my mind has been the past.
Right.
Now, apparently, my first episode of Coney Bay Mank, I said it was with Adam Brody.
It was in fact with Gillian Jacobs and Paul F. Tompkins.
And that does sound familiar.
But I think Adam maybe was my second or third.
But anyways.
Plus it was so long ago.
No, it was a million years ago.
But if you want to know if that's true or not, you can look it up.
I just wanted to say that I might have been wrong.
As David, it takes a stretch.
It takes a village.
It takes a village, but it takes a big person to admit they might have been wrong.
It takes a big person to stop on that village.
Yeah, what I don't want to do is.
I'll die in a few hours. I guess I just thought it'd be
hard to find out what's my first episode.
It would be so easy that I don't even want to do it.
It's very each I'll do it right now.
All right.
Well, don't wait.
Total.
All right.
Look, we're going to I have a question for you.
What?
We're going to play this game, which involves us,
or this feature, it's not a game.
Which involves us.
We don't play games on the show.
We don't play games, everyone is.
You're not playing a game.
All you having a laugh.
All we play, you guys.
But we're gonna play this feature,
which involves us texting each other.
Now, I've turned on the do not disturb on my text.
Of course I have that as well.
Because the noise comes up on the recording,
and it has happened so often.
Even with it on silent?
No, on silent.
Well, yes, if it's on silent, yes,
but it's on Do Not Disturb.
Now I will turn Do Not Disturb off,
and we'll hear the ding if everyone is cool with that.
Why do you have to hear it?
Because the recording is going through this computer.
Wait, are you hearing the, the computer makes the day?
Oh yeah, I do hear that.
So I'm gonna turn off, do not disturb.
Don't get mad if we hear this ding.
Alright.
Lauren's first appearance on Comedy Bang Bang.
Whoa.
Was episode 180.
Wow, you did it all the time.
It was an episode called Friends Without Words.
Yes.
And I guess where, myself as Gary Marshall.
Wow.
Lauren as Tracy Reardon.
No, it wasn't Tracy Reardon, it was another Tracy.
Actually, it was one of these things where I used the name.
Oh my God.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Twice within.
And Gillian Jacobs.
Okay.
But in the picture,
wait, you were a different Tracy rear.
Yeah, no, it wasn't Tracy Rude.
And my name was Tracy.
And I was a foreign exchange student who, uh, basically it was like I was,
a man making stuff.
I said I lived in Spain or something, but I was only there for like, uh,
semester.
If anyone even wants to listen to this, I don't think you should.
I'm sure I'm just all over the place.
But in the photo for the episode,
also we can see Zach,
Alif and Akis, John, Daly and Neil Campbell.
Why are they all there?
I think we were taping another one right after
or something, and so we all got into the picture together.
Wow, that's so old.
Let me see it.
That's so old, my grandmother first test.
That's so my grandmother first. I know, it doesn't make any sense, even when I was a kid. I love you. Okay's so my grandmother's first.
I know it doesn't make any sense,
even when I was a kid.
Okay, so we're gonna play this game,
or three terms, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry.
God damn, I don't know what it's called.
What is that?
Are you sure was that so old?
My grandmother first test.
That's what it was when I was a kid.
That's what she said.
So the game, I don't know it's called,
but it's where we each text each other one word,
and then we do a scene and we have to throw that word in there, and then we have to guess
what the word is. Great. Great. Great. Fine. Okay, and you know what, you know what, by feeling
us about this game? What's that? It's fucking impossible. What? Well, we've done it before.
You never guessed really. Yeah, we did. Did you?
Yeah, we guessed.
I think you got one right.
I think I find it really hard because...
You're constrain on your own word.
Did you know what I'm saying?
Yes.
Yeah.
Let's try it.
I think all found it the hardest.
Let's try it.
This time we're all going to get it.
Yeah, okay, so we're going to text this way.
You can say that about most games, but maybe not this one.
I just think you were so immersed in your scene usually.
Well, that's true.
You know, you're doing this.
I do the work.
I think it should be a phrase because I think
that makes it a little bit not good a word.
And then we'll graduate to a phrase if we find it to our.
Okay, fine.
So I'm gonna text Paul.
Paul's gonna text Laura and Lauren's gonna text me.
And it's gonna be one word.
And we're gonna hear a ding when I get this word.
Um...
All right, I've texted Paul.
Paul has received his word.
Scott has received his word.
I have received my word.
Where's that ding?
Why do you need a ding?
The fuck are you talking about?
Because my word came in, but I didn't hear the ding.
Okay, I got my word.
All right, here we go.
I've never been more furious.
Really?
Okay, so.
And go.
Begin.
I really, and I know we're closing the shop for just 15 minutes here to just so we're
kind of let's get through this meeting because people do want ice cream and they are waiting.
Yeah, I just thought we weren't going to be able to do.
Do you think 15 minutes is long enough?
I think it is.
I just think we just need to kind of come.
Because we have a lot on the schedule that we have to get through.
We do, but I wanted to close the door.
I wanted to lock it.
I wanted to just kind of get into it.
I thought that people are really upset
that they're not getting the right time.
But I thought that the next chin would be good
so that we can't, you know, the pressure outside.
The pressure to get us through this meeting.
What are you guys talking about?
Oh my God.
We have employee meeting, Philip.
I'm sorry, I was just zoned out.
Okay, well, is your word zoned?
What?
Never mind it.
Hahaha. Philip, what we is your word zone? What?
Philip, what we're talking about is that this 31 flavors is having a lot of issues.
Like 31 issues. You could say that almost. I mean, that would be truly a problem. It's a bitch. One of them. We have 30.
You act so you act so.
Is your word bitch?
I know, I know, I know.
It's not, but I'm making funny jokes.
I make it funny jokes.
What if we, okay, so you act so a loop and I just,
what?
What?
What are you trying to say?
What are you trying to say, Philip?
I'm gonna say, because you have,
you have the most of the issues you put on
to the agenda,
the company agenda.
You bring up your issues.
Okay.
Is this gonna be, is this gonna be what the meeting is gonna be like?
Is this some sort of hard, is this some sort of hard to do?
I'm envious of you.
I'm envious of you because I feel that you get this opportunity to just pretend like
you don't care and then you just get away with it,
whereas I, as the manager, have to do so much.
I'll tell you who doesn't care.
It is all of you, because I've pitched
so many ice cream flavors that could turn our business around.
Okay, well, it's to pitch some of the flavors.
All right.
Because we haven't listened to you.
Okay.
Every time you've pitched your name.
We're gonna take some flavor ideas right now.
Number one, because we have an empty bucket here
for our 31st flavor, and people are banging on the door gonna take some flavor ideas right now. Number one, because we have an empty bucket here
for our 31st flavor, and people are banging on the door,
so we need to make it, so please help us out of the jam.
We probably shouldn't have had this meeting all of our hours.
We shouldn't have done it.
Fill it.
Okay, okay, so first flavor, fragrant swirl.
It is regular chocolate vanilla swirl.
Yeah. But when you crack it with the spoon, right?
The first crack it like it's, I do.
No. You don't crack it.
I mean, I meant like once you take the first scoop out
with the spoon, it smells like a childhood memory of yours.
There's the thing finally.
So wait, does that mean you're gonna go for my idea?
No, I have an idea.
For say everyone's word been said.
Minus. No, his hasn't.
No.
No.
Second flavor idea.
All right, what do we have?
Luminous ice cream.
Luminous ice cream.
You eat it in the dark and it glows
like those weird fucking algae.
I love that.
Wait, does your stomach glow or the...
Glow?
So it glows all the way down.
I love that.
Yeah, so it's almost as if you're...
And then you look like one of those glow worms.
Is it like when you go in for that medical thing
that you have to drink that thing?
Barrier minimum?
Yeah.
Barrier minimum.
It feels like that too.
Wow.
Third flavor idea.
Okay.
Make this one good, please.
You know how everybody loves that sparkling water?
Yeah.
I guess.
We do carbonated ice cream.
We call it pop rocks ice cream.
You put it in your fucking mouth.
Do we need to get permission from the pop rocks company?
No, they're dead because they drank Coke with their own product.
Oh, they all died.
They all died.
It was a mass.
It was a mess.
What's this one called again?
This is carbonated ice cream.
One more time.
The name of it is effervescence in a can.
Okay.
All right.
We all said our word.
Effervescence.
No!
Carbonated.
Yes.
That's why we all have.
You asshole. What? What? Do you guess my? For us, it's carbonated. Yes, that's why we were up. You asked a little.
What?
Do you guess mine?
Harbinger.
Yeah.
Do you guess mine?
Yeah, because I gave it to you.
I'm supposed to guess yours.
I was paying attention to yours.
I get some confused ones who know what.
I don't think more it's interesting.
I know.
Until I realized that new is worked.
Mine was NBS.
NBS.
NBS.
I said I'm so NBS because you slid it in there.
I said it three times though.
It was very well done.
Just to show.
I enjoy it.
Do we need to graduate to phrase?
I don't think.
I think we should do one with phrase
because I think it'll be kind of funny.
The phrase the pays?
Like I think it's just two word phrase,
not like a quote, but like meaning a two word word.
Do we go the same way or do we reverse direction?
It's reverse direction.
Oh, okay, I was gonna text Scott.
Okay, I'm gonna text Lauren.
Lauren's gonna text Paul.
Paul's gonna text me.
All right.
Mm-hmm.
You look.
Mm-hmm. All right. I've texted Lauren.
Paul has texted me.
Lauren has texted me.
But for some reason, the ding didn't happen.
It's going to happen in two minutes.
I look forward to it in the middle of the scene.
Yeah.
All right.
But you don't have to have your phone off
do not disturb.
You can just have it on your own.
Start by looking at the text.
Huh?
They still come in.
They just don't alert you.
Huh?
All right.
Okay.
All right.
Okay, ready?
And go.
All right.
Well, slow down.
Slow down.
Slow down.
Who are you?
I'm back. I'm back. Who are you? Helian from your kids. Hello, Peter's breath.
Hi, ET.
Oh, ET, I remember him.
He wrote it in my bike basket.
The phone.
Yeah.
Yeah, hey, it's my name's Elliott.
Yeah, I know. I called you Elliott.
Oh, yeah. Hey, ET, E.T. What was your name again Edgar Thomas?
I think you have to like do something with this thing now. It looks like it's older
What's going on? I'm sorry. This is my wife. Hi, I'm Julia Gullia
I thought you grew up together. I did okay. I lived in the blog. Do you remember her from Halloween?
E.T. I lived in the block.
I thought she was penis breath.
No, no, no, no, no, penis breath is dead.
I was my brother.
I lived on the block, E.T.
She was dressed, remember Halloween?
She was dressed as the sexy nurse.
E.T. Goals.
Yeah, I was like nine.
Yeah.
That's how we got together this night.
We fell in love.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a lot going on that night.
He had you in the basket on stuff, but also fell in love.
It puts the E.T. in the basket. It puts the it puts the ET in the basket and puts the ET in the basket
So again
Elliot yeah, yes, ET. What can I do your help? What what do you need ET anything for you? I'm going my childhood friend
I'm going through a nasty divorce
ET is eating divorce and I need a character witness. Oh, no, don't do it, Elliot.
Do I have to go to your plan? What was your plan at called again?
E.T. Land.
I love that.
Look, why are you getting divorced?
Yeah, what's your acting style?
Irreconcilable difference.
You know, dirty, dirty.
I saw that movie. She was great.
She was great, right? Yeah.
She couldn't say her acting style is a little different. Is that well? It was great. She was great, right? Yeah. She couldn't say a reconcilable difference as that way, and it was very cute.
Very cute. We love Gert.
E-T-E-G-T-D-V-O-R-E-T.
You sound haunted. E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T-E-T Modern times, modern times, the breaks. Well, ET, do I need to go back to the planet
or can I do it from here?
Can we do it over Zoom?
You can do it over Zoom.
Oh, that's good, if it's convenient.
I'm in.
Yeah, I don't want to leave my wife obviously,
and we have 18 children.
We're doing a reality show.
Yeah, it's kind of based on how he was a child star,
but also kind of just our life, because we have 18 kids.
Yeah, we do.
It's ET kids and counting, so it's 8 times.
He's one of them, mate.
Well, one of them has a really long neck
and we've been wondering.
And I'm here.
Well, I've been wondering because I remember
that we had sex one time, but I didn't.
I'm slow down, slow down.
Slow down, slow down.
Slow down, slow down, slow down, slow down.
Slow down, slow down, slow down. Slow down, slow down, slow down, slow down, you move too fast.
Slow down, be desperate.
Slow down, slow down, you move too fast.
All right, and we hold that up for now.
Okay.
I'm supposed to guess Paul.
Yeah.
I'm saying more and no, no, no, no, no, I'm guessing you, I'm going through an nasty divorce.
No.
Oh.
Oh.
So disappointed.
I'm so sorry.
Wait, I thought I heard yours and then I forget what it was.
Well, do you want to know his?
Yeah, what is, yeah, Paul, what is yours?
Peaness breath.
It's penis
You always find a good way to bring them in
Yeah, the ceiling down. Yeah, yeah, that was Lou Reed. Oh, yeah
Great character. You know my I can't remember I can't remember what I thought Yeah, I marked something in my head and then I went
Okay, and then I just completely forgot
Okay, I said it a few times Hold on no nothing
Mine was slow down
Okay, I said it right at the beginning. I mean I just slowed down slut
Which then I was like what's not that because I would be that yeah, I said slow down slow down
Yeah, okay, so now I was not able to guess yours, Lauren.
Them's the breaks.
I did say it.
You said it a few times.
I don't remember here.
I know you were talking over it.
Oh, well, that's my fault too.
That didn't seem fair.
But I know, but she said it and you had.
But she threw it in again because.
I wanted to be sure you heard.
Was I talking still though?
Yeah.
Sorry.
That's true.
That's a good point.
Yeah.
All right.
Why don't we go back to a word and it's got to be at least five syllables.
Okay.
So text.
I'll text you Lauren.
We'll go back to the original way.
What?
Other way.
Sorry.
Yeah.
I'll text Paul.
Yes.
And I'll text Lauren.
Okay.
So I'm texting Paul.
All right.
Oh, I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it.
I'm not going to be able to do it. I'm not going to be able to do it. All right, I have texted Paul. My... Scott, Scott, my word.
I've texted Lauren.
Okay.
Incredible.
And I have not received Lauren's at this point.
It's still waiting for that thing.
Oh, here it is.
Yep, got it.
That ding never came.
The ding never came.
The ding is not happening with the three of you.
The ding never came.
It's happening when someone else text me.
Okay.
Okay.
Here we go.
Very interesting.
Well, because you opened the text.
No, I didn't.
It just alerted.
Okay.
Anyway, you would.
No, yours.
When I sent you at you opened it.
Oh, but I waited for the ding.
And then it popped up on the thing didn't ding.
And so I opened it.
Anyway, here we go.
We don't need to argue about that.
Why do you want the ding? Now I love the ding didn't ding and so I open it. Anyway, here we go. We don't need to argue about that. Why do you want the ding?
Now I love the ding.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't hear it, I get sick.
Cardival time, cardival time, step right up.
Oh, I've never been to the cardival before.
I guess it's cardival time.
It's 5.45 a.m.
It's kind of time, come on out of your houses.
Yes, I was just on my way to bass and
I don't know that I mean the mood for a card. I was jogging up in Adam folks come over here and slam the bell
Slam the bell. I have always wanted to slam the bell. Yeah, tell me do you have any weird freaks in there?
We do we got a bearded lady. Okay
That's not I won't say that's a freak you have somebody with elephant is oh We do we got a bearded lady. Okay. We got an elephant.
I wouldn't say that's a freak.
You have somebody with elephant tices?
Oh, it's an elephant with a long tail.
I was trying to just say.
Oh, I was hoping to see a freak.
Somebody with elephant tides or
monoducleosis or adorexio nervosa.
Oh, yeah.
Can we hurry this along, please?
Sure.
I heard the rush.
I don't know whether I want to go into this carnival,
so she can speak a little more expeditiously.
It would be really better for me because I would do it.
Why don't you try to hit the ding?
All right, I'll give it a go.
I'll give it a go.
You wanna go?
I'd love to hit the ding.
Oh, hit the ding that.
All right, here we go, ready?
Okay.
And...
African Dabra!
Wow. Oh really beautiful.
You've hit it most cautiously.
Most indubitably the most interesting thing I've seen these days.
All right.
I'm sure to you, this seems like a beard triviality.
May I smash the dig?
Please smash the dig.
Oh, sir, we're waiting for you to smash the dig.
Here we go.
Hit it most readily.
Geronimo.
Oh, he's overcompensating.
Something in his body told him he needs to try harder to prove that he's a man.
All right.
Okay.
Here we go.
Most indubitably.
Unconditionally.
All right. most indubitably unconditionally.
All right, all right.
We've all said her.
All right, Lauren,
can you guess what Paul's word was?
No, she gave me the word.
No, I can't.
You gave me the word.
No, no, no, it was it was early on.
Hold on. It was early. What's it? Once we hear it, we should write it down. I know. Um, God,
what the fuck was it? Because then you started to take a bunch of words that were all on.
Oh my God, what was it? I don't remember. I did know. I did know. Hold on, wait, give me a hint.
But then the scene got too deep. I know. I know. I was my character. on, wait, give me a hint. But then the scene got too deep. I know, I know. I was my character.
Yeah.
Wait, give me a hint.
It was something that I said early on.
Just say it.
Just, yeah.
You will, we'll, if he says it and you knew it.
Okay, yeah, I'll know if I knew it.
Yeah, okay.
Mononucleosis.
Yeah, that wasn't my guess.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I thought you would, you put anorexia nervosis.
You said a few different things at that time. Elephant what, really? Yeah, yeah. I thought you put anorexia nervosa. You said a few different things at that day.
Elephantitis.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We must have gotten excited about elephantitis
because it really opened you up to be able to say that.
Yeah, okay.
Okay, Paul, are you gonna guess mine?
I wanna say abracadabra.
I said that to throw you off.
It was a huge way to spread out there.
It was right out there. It was a huge way to spread out there. Okay, what was mine? I thought expeditiously was to throw you off. Expeditiously, expeditiously.
Expeditiously.
Okay, what was my?
I thought expeditiously was to throw me off.
And that outbreak could ever be the second one.
Right.
I forgot that I was supposed to pay attention to you.
I was paying attention to bullying.
See, it's really hard this game.
It's really, this game is hard.
I don't do.
I don't even know.
I don't have a guess.
Oh, we're compensating.
Oh, good good good
This is a good game
I believe it wasn't most indubitably which I couldn't say
Most indubitably it's very billion-tab
One word
Well guys, thank you so much for listening we have I mean what I like about that game is we have fun playing it
Yeah, what I like about the game Do about that game is we have fun playing it. Yeah.
What I like about the game.
Do do do do do.
We have fun playing it.
Look, if you want to hear,
we haven't talked about three visiting on the twos for a while.
Boy, that's true.
Earlier episodes from the beginning
or coming out on Tuesdays,
we like to call it three visiting on the twos.
They're coming out for free from behind the paywall. If you're listening
without ads, which you could do, it's Ditcher Premium or at CBB World. You won't hear
those because they're all up there behind the paywall without ads.
Exactly. But if you're listening to the free version, that's on Tuesdays. If you want
to call us, you can call us at. I'm pointing a poll. Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realize, uh,
Hag claims eight. Hag claims eight. The number eight. The number eight. And if you want to write to us,
good luck. 3 to me, USA gmail.com. Yeah. And if you want to, oh, no, that's it. Instagram.
Oh, Instagram. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, we love you, Piss Pigs. Thank you so much for listening.
And let us know how the poll goes. Yes, we'll be monitoring it closely. But again, let us know how it goes though.
Our slash three dumb. We're gonna be monitoring it closely, but you let us know how. Yeah, so we know that we're not crazy.
Yeah, please keep track of that poll. And let us know. And really everyone go vote because it does make a difference
because you might be sitting here and well, everyone's gonna vote for my thing. No, they're not. You have to go vote for you.
Yeah, I think the game. I vote your conscience. What your conscience.
Yeah, should Reggie Miller become an honorary piss pig. Yeah. All right, well, bye. You