Threedom - Threedom Presents: The Neighborhood Listen!
Episode Date: June 29, 2020On the very first episode of The Neighborhood Listen, local CVS pharmacist / host Burnt Millipede (Paul F. Tompkins) and local realtor / host Joan Pedestrian (Nicole Parker) discuss a lost green parro...t, a mystery whistler, and all things Doug (Brett Morris). Plus, we meet Vanity (Maria Blasucci), a suspicious "carrot red-haired" woman who was caught snooping on potted plants. Make sure to listen and subscribe to THE NEIGHBORHOOD LISTEN, Tuesdays on Earwolf!
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I'm getting there's no such thing. Hey everybody, it's Paul F. Tompkins, the guy who laughs on
3DM. I wanted to let you know that I have a new podcast with Nicole Parker, the wonderful,
fantastic, hilarious, multi-talented Nicole Parker called the neighborhood listen. It is an
improv podcast where Nicole and I host in character. We take actual real posts from places like next door and other neighborhood social networking apps.
And we use them for it as jumping off point for character based improv.
It is an extremely silly show.
We did two seasons on Stitcher Premium, but now it's coming out behind the paywall.
And so I think you're really going to like it.
If you like silly things, you're going to like the neighborhood. Listen. A lot of your
favorite people guest on the show as characters Lauren Lapkes, um, Carl Tart, Tony Newsom,
uh, Bobby Moynihan, uh, but the, the but, but, but Mary Holland, Nicole Byer.
So many great people.
We have so much fun doing this show.
I'm very proud of it.
I think that you will like it every Tuesday on earwolf for free.
The neighborhood.
Listen, bye, bye.
Oh, here's an episode of it now.
Bye bye.
I'll do bye bye at the end.
You lifted the episode and then I'll say bye bye at the end. You won't hear me, but I will have said it. Now bye bye. I'll do bye bye at the end. You lifted the episode and then I'll say bye bye at the end.
You won't hear me, but I will have said it, okay?
Here's the episode.
Remember my silent bye bye.
Hi, I'm Paul F. Tompkins.
And I'm Nicole Parker.
On this podcast, we improvise and character using real posts
from a popular neighborhood networking website.
That our network is scared for us to name for legal reasons,
but you know which one it is.
All of the posts you hear our characters read are word-for-word real posts from this neighborhood website.
Occasionally, we change the names of some streets. And that's all you need to know.
And now, please enjoy this episode of The Neighborhood Listen!
This episode's guest, Maria Blasucci.
episode's guest, Maria Blasucci. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your neighbor.
Good.
And take any falls you're never alone.
You've got the neighbor hat and us.
Burn.
And jote.
From coyotes to male theft to weird things to sell.
We'll cover it all.
And meet new neighbors as well.
We'll chat about any post you're missing.
So just tune in.
To the neighborhood neighborhood listen.
Hello and welcome. Hello and welcome. To episode one of the neighborhood listen.
The neighborhood listen. Don't you text up like you were going to say it with me but
then you didn't say it with me. Well I'm a little nervous I'm going to be honest I've never
podcasted before. Is that a verb?
Do I use it as a verb?
Yes, it is podcasting.
Yes.
Exactly.
You say I'm podcasting now.
Yes.
Well, you know, we wanted to start this podcast based on, of course, the, the
neighbor app app that lets us all know.
Joe, I'm gonna stop you there.
Maybe we should explain who we are.
Well, I was getting there.
My name is Joan Pedestrian.
Of course, I'm your local real estate lady.
You know you've seen me drop off flyers at your house.
I know I've seen you all.
You have seen Joan.
You've either seen her picture on a bus stop bench.
That's right.
Or you've seen a flyer, slip under your door,
or you've met her in person,
or you're related to her.
That's right.
I do have a shocking amount of relatives
right here in Dignity Falls, which is where we are.
Do you know what's also funny to think about is somebody who may have seen you, but didn't
know who you were just in passing?
Well, and you know what we're finding out?
This is why we kind of wanted to do this podcast is we're kind of wanting to get to know,
you know, the old song, getting to know the people in your neighborhood.
Yes.
Because sometimes people that we don't know seem scary, but maybe if we just actually bring
them in here and talk to them, then it's not.
So my name is burnt me a payday.
That's right.
I am a pharmacist at the CVS on Recleed.
That you sure are.
You sure are.
And it is pronounced Recleed.
Did they finally pass that?
Did we?
Yes, that was settled.
Did we find that?
The city council did.
That was settled.
Determined.
It was.
Okay.
An overwhelming majority. Oh, good. That is now pronounced council did determine. It was, okay. An overwhelming majority.
Oh, good.
That is now pronounced for cleat.
Recleat.
And again, remind me of painting.
What an amazing name.
What is that front?
What descent of what descent is that or provenance?
You know what, Joe, we've known each other for years.
You've never asked me that before.
I've never asked you that before.
And it's funny that this is what comes out.
Right.
Because, because, because this is about getting to know
your neighbors. That's right. And I think it's also about us getting to know your neighbors. That's right
And I think it's also about us getting to know each other. Oh isn't that nice anyway. It's Corsican Corsican
Yes, my father was Corsican and my mother is from the US Virgin Islands
That is just wonderful and see now I know so much more about you and Jon your name is pedestrian
I was pedestrian and I did hang on I had more to. I'm sorry. This is the part of me learning.
Joan, when I first saw your name,
I thought, well, it can't be pronounced
like the word pedestrian.
I know.
I thought it was pedestrian home.
Oh, well, now I'm sad that it's not.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
That's okay.
I'll get a pronounce it that way if you wanted to.
Well, I, you know, I, I considered taking my husband, Doug's name.
We should of course introduce Doug,
Doug who is my sweet husband who is our engineer,
who's my dog.
Doug, hey, baby.
Hi, honey.
I did not take Doug's last name
because I had already really cemented myself
as the top realtor in dignity falls.
And I just didn't want people to get confused.
There's no reason to.
Who's Joan Harper? Yes. She doesn't sound like she knows how to put me in dignity falls. And I just didn't want people to get confused. There's no reason to.
Joan Harper.
Yes.
She doesn't sound like she knows how to put me in a home.
No, but Joan pedestrian sounds like someone was pounding me.
Walked right in.
That's right. That's right. Oh, you remember my very first motto pounding the pavement.
That was I was I had on the very first of packets of paper that I dropped off at people's
house.
When you dropped off those paper packets, I remember being quite a star in the paper packets.
The triple piece.
Yes, that's right.
That's what we started calling them.
That's what we started calling them.
Around Dignity Falls.
So, John pedestrian, Burmio Pede,
we are here to host what we call the neighborhood listen.
Now, everyone knows the phrase neighborhood watch.
Of course they do.
But because it's a podcast, you listen.
Isn't that clever?
I thought that was fun.
That was Burns idea.
No.
I think we came to it together.
Oh, that is very nice.
I think we came to it.
I wasn't doing anything.
I was just in the room when it happened.
Oh, that was it.
It's like that song from Hamilton.
Sorry, as everyone knows, I do have a background in theater
and I have showed up in some of the community dignity falls plays
Some well, I think all I'm being modest. You are being modest. You shouldn't be don't hide your light under a bush
Let's what scripture tells us
Joan is quite a talented actress and or is it actor should we say actor?
No, I prefer entertainer actually. I like that a lot because you don't say entertainer.
No, it's just entertainer means whoever entertains.
And it doesn't limit me.
You know, entertainment can be all sorts of different things.
It can be this podcast.
Oh, I hope so.
Oh, I sure do.
Here's my hope for the, we should have drawn up a list of hopes for the podcast.
Because we started over.
That would be added that in.
Yeah, yeah, I think not. We edited that in.
Uh, uh, yeah, yeah.
I think so.
He can't do anything.
He's so smart.
Isn't he adorable?
He's cute.
He's missing golf for this.
He's, oh, I'm so sorry, Doug.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
Yeah.
He says it's okay.
I know Doug is a golf maniac.
Oh, my God, please.
Can't get him off the links.
Is that what they say?
I don't even know.
I miniature golfed once in the 90s,
and I was like, that's it, goodbye.
I know, but Doug is fanatical with miniature golf.
He loves it.
He loves it.
Oh my God.
And the reason why, well, here,
I'm just gonna say I hope right now.
I hope that this is something that entertains people,
but also feels, well, what I gotta say is,
what's going to be a very empty nest soon. I've got two boys in college, my girl.
She can be a senior next year.
Oh boy.
This is, it's just going to be me and my rescue pets.
Right.
Banana.
My cat bananas, my acid reflux.
And that's true.
And that's real problem.
And as grow the dog, yes.
And I'm hoping to get more.
But boy, the two of them, between the two of them are the podcast, you know.
And your daughter, Jaliyah P P, is what grade is she in now?
Oh, yes, she's going to be a senior. So she's finishing up her junior year. She's studying for
finals right now. At least I hope she is. I haven't seen her in a day.
It's, it's, it's crazy to think that the kids are that big.
I know. And that they're going off to college or they're going to be in senior year of high school
and that soon that they will not be living at your home.
Now, people living in my home
and I got the menopause countdown clock going, you know?
Any minute.
And you've made the actual clock.
I have an actual clock.
I have an actual countdown clock.
And as it counts down, the air gets cooler in the house.
Can we next time, can we bring it into the room
where we're recording?
I know it's in the in the in the
do you keep it in the bathroom?
I do. Can we can can you move that because I know you bolted it?
We get good.
I bolted it in.
I did make him move it several times.
In fact, it's been in five different rooms in the house.
I feel like you know, you just get it.
It's a foam sway.
Yeah.
And or I just am sick of seeing it.
And then I forget that I go into every room because I live in my house.
And so I'm like, oh God, dammit, there it is.
Oh, I'm sorry to swear.
I forget that part has sort of-
No, you can do that on these.
That's okay.
I'm spiritual.
Oh, okay.
But I think I'm kind of laid back.
So I don't mind.
And on a podcast, you can swear.
Bert, I'm kind of excited for everyone
to get to know their neighborhood.
Farmer's just a little bit better.
Well, I hope that, you know, it's the push and pull
because on the one hand, of course,
I love to get to know everyone better.
Sure.
On the other hand, I hope they don't get to know
me better as a pharmacist because that means something's wrong.
Well, right.
There's more to you than just being a pharmacist.
Is that what you're saying?
There's not a lot more, but...
I think you're not being generous to yourself.
I don't know.
I mean, I'm just me and I work at the pharmacy
and then I'm single as you know.
Of course.
And ladies, and I'm not looking to mingle.
No.
Yeah.
Why is that?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I feel like.
Do you mean literally just not mingle,
but you'd love a relationship.
You just want mingle, don't want mingle involved or do just want mingling, don't want mingling involved,
or do you really meet it in the way that you are not involved?
It is literally I don't want to make it.
You just hate mingling.
You know what I hear that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's something about mingling that it's the constant moving
forward like a shark.
And I don't like to think of myself as a shark, you know?
Think of mingling like a shark, like a circling shark.
I feel like there's movement.
I feel like there's movement. Like you're moving through a crowd of people you're having, have conversations.ingling like a shark like a circling I feel like there's movement. I feel like there's movement like you're moving through a crowd of people
You're holding a drink you're holding a drink. Yes. I don't mind that part
You never see me not holding a drink. That's true. That's true probably by the second episode
I'll already be drinking during these but it is too early and I of course will drink
12 ounces of gin every Friday night. That's my letting my hair down. Oh
And what lovely locks you have. Thank you. Well, I've been growing my hair out. I was thinking
about donating my hair to locks of love. Oh, and then I thought, no, I'm just gonna keep it.
I just I think you have very beautiful hair. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. Doug's dad lost his hair early.
So we're kind of on we're kind of on hair watch right now, you know, it looks okay now. Hold on tight. Hold on tight.
He's in the back. I haven't seen the back. No, there it is.
Oh, wow. I told you. Oh, boy, I told them not to show it.
It's weird. It's receiving from the bottom up.
The doctor said that was stress possibly.
Sounds like it. You know what's interesting is that both your sons are bald.
They have a whole from the back.
From the both, they both, they're both bald.
They have early male pet
They have early male bunch of hair.
From the back.
They both, they both, they both, they're both bald.
They have a virtue of hair.
They have early male petabaldas put on their, along their neck.
It's a horseshoe, it goes the other way.
It's a, it's, it's, it's very unfortunate.
And my daughter has more hair than she knows what to do with everywhere.
She has a bad way.
She has a uniquely hairy young lady.
She's very here suit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but she pulls it off.
Oh, isn't that nice of you?
I think she's lovely. I think it's been wonderful to watch them all grow up. They're
wonderful kids. Oh, you know, they're good, except for the fact that they will not help
me with any of this new stuff. Yeah, they, not just, they're not just lazy. They, they
refuse to. No, they said, no, mom, get out of my room, you know, and that's, that was
at their dorm room. I can't stop visiting them. They're just at the local college here. And I just can't stop. You know, they're just right there.
It's just too easy to pop by. Yeah, I can imagine. Oh my goodness. Well, well, should we
start with a couple of basic posts? What we do? What we were going, we're going to
do. So you know, a little bit about us, let's get to know a little bit about the neighborhood
dignity falls. What? Joan and I, the reason we started this podcast, because we are both obsessed with the neighbor app,
phone application.
A little bit, who isn't right?
Come on, ladies and gentlemen.
I can't get to sleep everywhere that fellow
copter, what's that all about?
Exactly, you want to reach out to people.
I do.
See your neighbors, let's say, what's that fellow copter?
What's that sound?
Yes.
Yeah.
And so what if nobody ever gets back to you?
Sometimes they don't.
Sometimes.
And then also then sometimes you get called out for,
it's for needing to be going to sleep and,
and you should be getting ready for the open house that you're,
you know, doing for me tomorrow, Joan, go to bed.
And I've gotten in trouble a little bit.
Right, right, right.
But I think that it keeps us connected.
And also it gets the information out.
And you might not have seen a post
because there are so many.
So this is another way that we can reiterate those. Yes. So So you know, always you can write into us or send me an
email and if you'd like me to bump your post, is that what it's called? That sounds dirty. It does
sound a little risque. A little bit right? I want me to bump your post. Just kidding. That was maybe too far.
Oh, okay. I'm sorry. We can cut that out though, right? Duck?
If you like anything.
Well, burnt would apparently like it, so.
Don't want that.
Yeah.
What's that?
I thought I heard something.
I don't know what you thought you heard.
So,
so,
we have, now,
I should say quick caveat.
These posts will just concern the neighborhood
of dignity falls or we live.
If you, this does go out to the world.
Oh God, it does, I forgot about that.
Yes, well, is it have to?
It's available to the world.
Okay.
Yes, it's not like a YouTube album
that suddenly everyone hasn't done.
I don't need paparazzi following me.
This is, I think we're not quite there yet,
but look out, Joan.
Oh, boy.
This could take off.
Talk about pound in the pavement again.
I'd be running from them.
Because they're chasing after you.
On the pavement.
Yeah.
So this is, this is, these will be posts
from the neighbor app specific to dignity false.
Joan would like to go first.
I'd love to, because now I've got a lot of questions
about this.
So the title just says, lost green parrot with a very distinctive laugh
Which I also really need to know what that sounds like is he can he talk or can he just only laugh?
You know some parrots can actually speak but that's not what this person says
Maybe it's that the voice is not distinctive at all right, And then it sounds like it's like a horrifyingly human laugh.
That's what I I don't think I'd like that.
What it sounds like a witch's cackle. Oh my god.
Well, then you think you'd be able to easy he'd be easy to find.
But it says a few months back, which also was odd because is this the only time
you're posting about him? You know, we lost our
grandparents. It seems a little bit of a lag, right?
We lost our green parrot a few months ago.
He opened his cage, now again, a question.
He opened his cage and flew to a neighbor's tree.
I mean, this parrot sounds amazing.
He opened his own cage.
I am new to the neighbor half
and I'm pleased to see how many people have joined in.
I think that's separate to this.
I think that's just something else.
That's just praising the app.
I will keep posting in different places.
Now, I don't know what that means either,
because again, like we just said,
the best place to post is right here
if he's from Dignity Falls.
Absolutely.
Hopefully Paco is well, and we can see him again.
Please let us know he has a very distinctive laugh.
Now he has the part that concerns me.
More frequent when kids are playing around him.
And that just makes me concerned. Now he's the part that concerns me. More frequent when kids are playing around him. Hmm.
And that just makes me concerned.
Well, no, I don't know a lot about birds.
Okay, I know that they fly in the sky.
That's true.
I know that some of them talk like our friend Paco here.
Well, he laughs apparently.
Right, I know some of them.
So we know is that he laughs near children.
Some of them are some of them are flightless. I know that. Oh, is that right? Well, penguins apparently. Right. I know. So we know is that he laughs near children. Some of them are some of them are flightless.
I know that.
Oh, is that right?
Well, penguins.
Oh, right.
I'm sorry.
I was thinking of parrots specifically.
Yes, you're talking about birds in general.
Yeah, I think right exactly.
Right.
Okay.
Let's narrow it down.
Let's narrow it down to the parents.
What I know about parrots.
A lot of times they're green.
Right.
Um, they have curvy beaks.
True.
They love crackers.
Paulie want a cracker.
Yes.
Yes.
Uh, and they can mimic human speech.
Mm-hmm.
But they don't know what they're saying.
Is that right?
Gosh, it seems like they do sometimes.
Birds tear to find me.
I'm just going to get it right out there.
I'm sorry.
I will not rescue a bird.
Do you know what's funny?
I see.
No matter how they're saying.
No, no kind of bird.
I don't know. Well, now I'm going to probably eat my words.
No, I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird.
I'm going to eat my bird. I'm going to eat my bird. I'm going to eat my bird. I'm going to eat my bird. I guess either way it's disturbing. No, it's not good.
And if that, if that parent laughs a lot,
how did you just notice he left a few months ago?
Maybe if this parent is clever enough,
he left a recording of himself laughing.
That's right.
He could have. I mean, good God.
He probably has the abilities.
If he's able to get himself out of his own cave.
He sounds very clever.
Well, anyhow, ladies and gentlemen, if you're out there and you hear a terrifying laugh
near children, hopefully it's not a human being,
it is a harmless parent named Paco, say hello.
And I guess say hello.
Say hello and let this person know
what where Paco is.
Yes, please.
Let's get Paco home.
Let's stop the madness.
Let's stop the madness and stop the laughter.
All right, now I have a, well, Joan, I'm sorry,
does that conclude your post?
Thank you so much, it concludes my post,
and now I'll be quiet.
I learned my lesson, didn't I?
This one.
Are you so thrilled?
And now a man's in the house telling me to shut up,
it's probably the best day of his life.
Oh, dear, I hope I don't, I don't wanna start. It's better than a birdie or an eagle or whatever, whatever you call it, right? Is that
the same in miniature girl? I have no idea. I don't think so. Doug, is it the same in miniature
golf? What do you pronounce? All of the syllables.
Do you?
miniature. miniature. I didn't know there was another way.
I get lazy. I just say miniature. Yeah. You got power. You got birdie. You got bogey double bogey.
Eagle
triple bogey
I'm turned on eight is the maximum. Okay, sounds good. I preach the maximum of my interest
All right, Pierce. This is an intriguing one
This comes from a bambi right here in digney falls. Oh bambi
It is a person I checked. Okay
Quisling is the title. I hear someone whistling loud and clear
Do you think it's a kid or someone?
Or a disabled person who isn't trouble. Oh dear. I hope not. Hope it's not that one. Now there was no
Phops. There are no replies to this. Oh, that's terrible.
Here's my question.
I will say, if you are here to get in your stuck,
I don't know why you wouldn't yell help.
I don't know that I would go for a gentle whistle.
Maybe their disability is that they cannot speak.
They can only whistle.
But they can only whistle.
That is a specific thing to me.
But they're trapped under a beam or something.
But they're able to whistle.
They're able to require such control and lung capacity though to whistle as opposed to
help.
But you know, do you know of the superhero character, Daredevil?
I have heard of him.
Yes.
I resist.
I who does it on Netflix is hot.
That's all I know.
Oh, Joe.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I don't know.
We're talking about our whole past.
Our whole past is.
I just don't know.
There's something about Doug being home and he's, and he's recording, but then he's saying all these terms
that I don't know.
And you can only see the front of the chair.
And he wants Mary to be in the first place.
Yeah, that's exactly.
And I can see him from the face.
He is a good angle.
Is that your whole past TV dare to?
Well, I've got a couple.
Do you really?
Just a few.
He knows.
He knows.
Went from one to a couple to a few.
To now it's dozens.
It's not dozens.
There's really just there's just like top three.
He knows Tom broke a Conan O'Brien into Mollafont.
TV there knows even crack the top three.
Well, I just haven't spent enough time with I've just it's just in passing.
If I sat down and watch it, he'd probably get out of it.
Anyhow, mine, of course, is foiled presidential assassin squeaky for.
Oh, of course. Oh,
about her. Well, and you remember I played her in the in the sometimes production of
assassins that was done here at Gravity Falls. That's right. The musical all about assassins.
It's a sound time production of it. He came here. Steven, sometimes even sawdime actually
came. It was the first it was the first production. They did previews here.
Well, you also know that it previewed in dig that he falls.
You know what's sometimes is good to get out of town
where the papers will not tear that thing down.
True.
You know?
I mean, you know, test it out here
before you take it to the blue hairs.
That's right, that's right.
So my concern is that we don't,
we don't have a description of the whistling.
What type of whistling was it?
Was someone whistling a tune?
Because generally when someone whistles, they're in a good mood, right?
That's right.
It's hard to think of it as an urgent, dangerous emergency situation.
Oh, that's very good, Bern.
I cannot.
I'm just making that up.
But if you heard that, you wouldn't think danger.
Definitely would not. I wouldn't think someone trapped making that up. But if you heard that, you wouldn't think danger. Definitely would not.
I wouldn't think someone trapped under a beam.
No.
You know.
But were these like sharp staccato whistles?
You know the kind of whistling of people,
the people could do that.
You don't like, but they, they're very proud of being able to.
Like a taxi cab, yes, exactly.
I can't do those either.
No, and no one should.
And they want to do it all the time because they can do it.
Oh, do they ever?
It is obnoxious.
It is beyond, Joan, I'm glad we agree on this.
It is beyond obnoxious.
See, this is something I never knew.
Look at us bonding already.
I absolutely can't stand it.
Get your fingers out of your mouth.
Then there's the people who can do it without any fingers.
And they are the most insufferable.
Yes, they are.
Yes, yes, offerable.
Oh, it sports, you know, I tell you, my daughter, she does volleyball
and she does a swimming.
And there are some parents who just can't not stop
whistling loudly.
It's the price is limited.
She wanted a swimming because she's got so much hair.
Believe me, it has been a problem.
But she's still doing pretty good.
She's doing pretty good.
I mean, luckily they added those suits where now you can wear them.
You know, there's like a foot goes down to the knees almost that they're wearing and the
Olympians are wearing it.
That covers up a lot of it.
Very modest.
But there's so much constricted around her ankles.
And so we're still really struggling with that.
She's almost like a triad.
Everything.
Well, they look, yeah, exactly, exactly.
Well, she still does a, she's still, she's really perseverer.
She's a sweet girl.
Yeah, yeah.
God love her.
My Julya P.
Um, so if we knew what kind of whistling it was, I feel like we'd have a better idea
of this being either a kid who's just having fun. Yes. Maybe he's got a sling shot in his
pocket. He's trying to catch frogs. Mm-hmm. Or is it a disabled person doing perhaps
a more scot of whistles? Oh, gosh, bro Do you know? Yes. And ex-Merchant Marine.
Right.
Who is, he's done his time on the sea
and now he's living here and dignity falls.
Oh God, and I'd love to meet him.
We should have him on the show.
Well, I don't even know if he's real.
Let's go get him.
Everybody, look, listen.
Joe, and I feel like you've fallen victim
to the hysteria of this neighbor, how post?
Well, it gets me very worked up
that there's might be a merchant marine out there with great stories and he's trapped under a beam
and we can't talk to him.
I know, well.
And then Paco's gonna fly over him
and he's gonna just start laughing.
Yeah.
Be on the lookout.
Be on the lookout for both Paco the parrot
and disabled merchant marine
who is wistful to beat the band.
It's so late.
Indeed.
All right, well, we have to take a break.
We do. When we return, we will
have our first guest in studio. More when we return. In my kitchen.
To adjust. Okay. Hello. My name is for Sadie's and looking for a toddler tutor.
Wondering if anyone knows or is interested in tutoring a two-year-old two to three
times a week. We just had a new baby and I want to make sure our two-year-old is
getting enough education time. I was like someone to come for an hour and teach
the alphabet numbers. What have you? We do this as well. But again with the new
baby, we want someone dedicated to coming a few times a week to make you learning fun!
PME for more info. Mercy, you can call me that, you know, to say Mercedes-Benz's whole thing.
You know, okay, Doug, that'll do.
Oh.
We're back!
You just got so many good jokes.
We're back. Hopefully there will be an ad in there because we're not just doing this out of the goodness of our hearts although it's mostly that but there is also the idea that we could get paid
and so at that time of recording we don't know if we have any ads or not but hopefully
we will get some advertisements.
Absolutely.
If there is anything you'd like us to advertise I'm very good at you know back in the
day I used to write jingles I really would love to get back into it.
Joan I didn't want to write that.
Oh well.
There's so many so many layers.
Well, it's a women are mysteries, you know.
You're just like a walking onion, Joan.
Well, I like to think of myself as a rose, but either way.
But you have the layers thing as well.
I know, it's just that, well, the petals have layers, right, too.
You know, you can, it's just a greater image than onion.
But you don't, you don't pluck the petals off. That's, I know, do you know what
it is? Do you know what this is my own hang-up? I hate onions. And so that was me responding
to you calling me something I don't like. And you know what? I just made it about the wrong
thing. I apologize. No, I apologize because I should have, I should have, I should have
thought that would be a possibility that someone could hate onions because they're not the
friendliest of foods. They do have a strong odor. They do.
They make you cry.
They do.
Yeah, so there are problematic.
You're describing half my boyfriend's a college.
It's one of your...
A bunch of audience.
Well, I'm sorry.
The onion is a problematic food.
It is.
I think that we can all agree on that.
And we have.
But I do appreciate the compliment.
I recognize that.
I'm glad that came through.
I think this is good for me, Bern. I think you're I think you're really opening me up to sort of,
you know, sort of a different kind of way of thinking. And I think it's really good for me.
I hadn't intended to do that. But if that's positive, then I'll take it. Well, you did. Well,
good. Now, we have someone right here in my home. It's very, very exciting. It's very exciting.
One of our neighbors. Yes. Yes. One of our neighbors. Well, that's what I'm pretty sure.
I'm just going to read this post because, again,
this was interesting.
I read this post and then I swear the very next day,
I saw someone that would fit the exact description
of this woman here.
And then I will tell you what happened,
but I'm going to keep you in suspense.
So let me just read this.
So this says, suspicious woman on my porch.
I know this isn't a good picture
and I do wanna point out,
I know this is an individual medium,
it truly is not a good picture.
You're not missing anything.
The picture that someone has provided is,
it looks like the camera is upside down
and you're looking through a picket fence
at what you can barely make out to be a face.
So I know this isn't a good picture,
but my neighbor spotted this woman on my steps checking
out my potted flowers, even lifting them to see how heavy they were.
She has shoulder length, carrot, red hair.
Please message me if you recognize this woman, I'm worried she'll be back to steal my flowers.
Now here's the thing.
We are now going to answer that question because the very next day I spotted someone at
the farmer's market, spotted someone at the farmers market
You know the farmers market down by a gold town. Yes, I do and I'm telling you at first
I thought I was just looking at carrots, you know because I was near the fruit stand
But it was actually
Right
These were on a woman's head
I have to tell you when I first saw
Carrot red hair. I thought well this is a terrible description. That's not the thing
I got to say there's no other way I could describe this woman's hair. Then Carrot's coming out of her head.
Oh, it's like she has dreadlocks.
It's a dreadlocks, right? They look like Carrots. They look like carrots.
It's a dreadlocks. So I approached her and I showed her the post. I said, excuse me, ma'am,
but I think, you know, there might be something that's going on that was probably very innocent,
but people aren't kind of getting worried in the neighborhood.
Who are you?
Would you come on?
And she says, all she gave me was her first name,
which is Vanity.
Is that correct?
Vanity?
Oh, you know what's weird?
Because you're going to have to speak a little closer
to the microphone.
Yeah, but thank you, Doug.
That's very good.
This is your first podcast.
Yeah.
Oh, okay, she is so soft-spoken.
How can, and I have to say, I, you know, you are
striking. I mean, this, these, I don't know what is up with your hair. Anyone in my life.
Oh, okay. No one said that. Ask you that yet. I just, you had said you'd be willing to come
on and explain what was going on with, with the, the, the pots. You know, people were positing the perhaps you were looking for a high
to key, which I never recommend by the way
because it's so obvious when you've got a high to
key, you know, you've got a bunch of gray rocks
and then there's one brown rock and I'm
clear like he's on a chain like that I keep with me.
Oh, I don't I don't think people were suggesting
you were looking for. No, no, they were
worried that you were looking to get into someone else's
house. Can you do you remember that day when you were looking in the flower pots?
It is you. I can barely make out the picture is so poor, but it is my with my hands.
I'm making a sort of not hole in a fence. And then if you have close your eyes,
yes, right, and pretend as if you're drunk and then look away.
Yeah, and then look away. There she is.
And then look away. There she is. There she is.
So can you explain what you were as I,
you were talking about flowers before and onions and that kind of stuff.
And that's can all be grown in the ground.
And so, you know, I just, I don't think it's a crime to be interested in that sort of stuff.
So you're just interested in botany.
You're just curious about the plants.
I mean, you were digging into,
in the comments below, I will say that you were digging
into some of them.
The neighbor said that she spotted you sort of
digging your hands on my hands.
Just stick your hands in the floor.
Into the soil.
And arthritis problem and in the soft soil.
Oh, what is the problem?
It's, it's not, it's on, it's early onset arthritis. Oh, I see I see that is problematic. Yes, and it's the onion of diseases
Right, you get people coming in to see yes, that all the time burned right isn't there's something you could be be prescribed
Vanities, so she's not to shove her hands into people's parts right it and I have a bit of a
do not prescribed thing on my chart.
Just do not prescribe period, nothing ever.
Like a doctor wrote on a chart, do not prescribe medications.
Yes.
So I have to find alternative.
Why is that?
Are you allergic to all prescriptions?
It's not an allergy, it's an addiction.
The arthritis.
No, no. No. Oh, she's addicted to any kind
of prescriptions. Oh, I see, I see even ointments. Anything that I can use again and again. You will.
I'll do it. You will abuse it. Yeah, abuse is a strong word especially in my case, but yeah. Okay, I was getting that from you, but what was so like,
let's say if you were to apply some,
some bend gay to your, to your,
our three to, who's been?
No, it's, oh, it's, oh, no, it's, okay.
It's an over the counter topical pain relief.
And I always pay for the things I buy at the,
you know, at the counter.
No one's in otherwise.
It's an interesting thing to hold here.
We certainly support that.
How old are you?
I'm 45.
Oh, okay.
Yes.
I mean, I would have gone 30 years younger or 30 years older.
It was, it's wild.
You're very, it's difficult to pin you down in time.
Yeah.
You get that a lot, yes.
Okay. But I went to college, so.
Oh, where'd you go?
Were you born and raised here in Dignity Falls?
No, I moved here about five years ago.
I was running from a problematic relationship.
Oh, dear.
Oh, I'm so sorry.
And I lived in a big city for a couple years, St. Louis,
and it wasn't my cup of tea.
You do, what was it about St. Louis?
I've never been myself.
It's on my list though, it's on my bucket list.
I do want to see that arch.
Oh, there are too many people.
To many people, to many people.
Everyone's trying.
Everyone's trying to pin you down.
And I won't.
What does that mean?
It means they're trying to put you in a box.
What does that mean?
But Bert, I think it means that you, you just don't have the, the, the chance
to just explore your own personality.
They just want to point at you and say, you're this person and then you don't
get another chance, right?
Is that right?
Yes. They want to say, you didn't do this.
You did this.
You didn't do this.
You did this.
Can we get some concrete examples of just a thing you didn't do this, you did this, you didn't do this, you did this. Can we get some concrete examples of just a thing you didn't do that people said you did?
There was a cat that went missing.
In the apartment complex, I lived in.
I always had a problem with the cat.
But I wouldn't.
So as soon as it went missing, there was just a war that began.
Oh, and they said, they said, you did this, you killed it, you struck it.
And I said, I can't believe what you're saying.
And I reported them and then no one believed me.
And it was just horrible.
You reported them.
Yes.
Okay, and the cat was the cat ever found?
Yeah.
And it had indeed been struck.
Yeah.
So now I'm, okay, well now I'm hearing that maybe
you were running also from the fact that
not only were you in a bad relationship,
but you, you know,
you sounds like you were in trouble with an entire partner building.
It's not trouble if you didn't do it.
Well, that's an interesting theory.
That's fair point.
I'm, I'm curious about this. You said that, uh, well, what happened in a city is,
people say, you didn't do that. You did this.
So that's a thing that people said you did.
What's a thing people said you didn't do?
Paid my taxes.
So, oh, so the actual federal crime?
They said you didn't pay our taxes.
They said, well, I did.
And then money I made.
But then you actually did it.
No, I did it.
I did it.
You did do.
You did do.
I paid some taxes, yes.
Some taxes.
You usually have to pay them all, not in my case.
Why is that?
The early onset arthritis is disability,
like there's some sort of disability claim
and I have papers to back that up.
So let me ask you this,
because you said you moved here five years ago,
but the early onset
arthritis, uh, uh, uh, E O A, um, you said, um, was an issue even then in St. Louis.
Not yet. So what? Not yet. What, at what age, your 45 now, what age to do, if I may ask,
I hope this is not an ungeneral, really question. I asked her how well she was already. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, was already. But you're early. I saw that fair enough, but we now are working
with information, she's 45.
True.
Yes, when did the early onset, early onset, 13?
Oh, that is a very early onset.
That's very early.
But it's not part of the, no.
OK, I'm trying to really struggle with this timeline.
So.
Because it went away for a little bit.
Oh, because I got it.
So it's also had a good job at the time.
And I didn't want to let them know.
So it's that I had it.
So it's EOA, but it's also OA, OA,
on again, off again, by the way.
Yes.
So it balances back between both.
Yeah.
That's tricky.
I've never heard of that before.
Yeah.
Honey.
So you have a, sorry. Are you okay? No, I'm just'm just I'm just getting more I'm getting a little bit stressed out, you know
It's just I take off your coat. I feel like I oh, okay
I'm fine. Do you feel as a part of the menopause? Yes, well, I think it's that but also I'm just I'm like I guess I
For you according the clock. It's it's still weeks away. Is it weeks?
God, I hope it's longer than that.
Good grief.
Man, maybe I missed red.
It could be that it's a combination
of the menopause probably also, but I guess I'm worried
about you.
I feel like you've run from a lot of things.
I feel like you're still not telling us everything.
I feel like in order for our neighbors to feel better,
would you maybe at least agree to not digging your hands
in that lady's soil again?
Is there perhaps a time where you can go to a nursery,
get a big bag of soil and do it at home?
I don't want kids.
Not that company.
Oh, I didn't ask about,
oh, oh, that's right.
I see what I understand.
It has more meanings.
You're right.
She meant, if I missed you for you, Joan,
for plants, a nursery for plants, nursery for plants.
Like at home depot or lows.
Yeah, I don't have a car.
So I just have to, I have to, you know, and also, you know, I, where I grew up, you were
allowed to just kind of like, you know, walk onto people's, it was, it was friendly and
you could walk onto people's lawns and you could just pick flowers and and so I don't I don't see a problem in in in that and you
know that was not St. Louis. No. Yeah. Where was that? I would rather not say. Well now
why is why is very suspicious. No, it's it doesn't exist anymore. Well my word. The place
where you grew up doesn't exist anymore. It was demolished. Oh, dear.
My goodness. See, I'm worried about her. This is some of us. Every got out.
Did was there advanced? Was there a war? There was two years of warning. And so two years
of warning. Everyone had a gate was given a two-year heads up. What demolished it?
Were they were they built wrecking ball? Right. But what? The whole town. Yeah. Just one big
wrecking ball. Yeah. And why was it demolished? It was no good. It was bad news. That's what the
newspaper said. Bad. No, they did not elaborate. the newspaper said they didn't get rid of the
printing press just in one time so they could get that headline out and then that was it
town demolished it due to bad news is bad news there and you know it's good that it happened
you know we went underground for a couple years and then we came out and that's I'm sorry who
who are we talking to me my aunt Jane, and, and two of my second cousins.
That's, is that your only surviving family?
Lauren, oh, she's naming them Jessica.
And then there was a boy that lived in the town that wasn't related to us.
He snuck in there, we found him in a cupboard, about four weeks after we unlocked the doors.
And underground cupboard.
Was this underground?
Yeah, okay.
And his name was Josiah.
And he's no longer with us.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, what happened?
He's in Florida.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm not sure if anyone sees vanity that carrot haired lady
just let her touch your plants.
She's not meeting any harm.
I haven't heard anyone.
I haven't stolen anything.
I have a couple of problems
that are personal and don't
have any problems.
I'm not sure if anyone has
stolen anything. I haven't hurt anyone. I haven't stolen
anything. I have a couple problems that are personal and don't you know it's not your business.
Can I ask the the lifting of the pots and putting them back down? What purpose does that serve?
I like to feel the weight. There's not a lot of things in my life that I can pick up that have any
heft to them. And so I like to find things that I can pick up, I can feel the weight.
Oh, I mean, you would love a gym. Who's I? No, no, gee, I see what's happening again.
GYM, a gym. People, people, people, a place where people go to work out.
To exercise.
To exercise. Yes. I was, I guess, with the onthritis, I just think actually maybe that would be a good word
for it because to be honest, it's combining the two.
No, it's arthritis.
Sorry.
Well, I've been to a gym before.
Oh, if that's what they're called, what are these?
The word just didn't ring a bell.
Well, bowling.
Oh, you've been to a bowling house.
Well, okay, that's lifting up heavy things. I love to bowl. Well, you could join a bowling like we have a great the dignity
falls bowling. We have a huge champion. I'm never in it. Where is it? Well, it's at the
bowling alley. Believe it or not. I don't go in alleys. It's not because they're not
safe. It's because I'm not safe in them. Understood. What? This is not an alley like between buildings.
So this is a very wonderful bright place where you can get a hot dog and families have birthday
parties there.
I like to examine this distinction that she just made.
Okay.
You say it's not that you find alleys unsafe, but that you're unsafe in them.
What does that mean?
It means that I go a little nuts.
Okay. That's what I took.
That's what I took it to. That's how I took it. And I frankly didn't want to pursue that. Yeah,
you like you backed off that. I did. I sure did. There's something about the two walls close together,
the narrow path that makes me just turn into like a rabbit child. Uh-huh. And I've never heard anyone, but I've definitely scared people so they said.
And so I don't do that.
Well, you may please to discover that a bowling alley is not really an alley.
Yeah.
It's actually quite spacious.
I've only pulled outside.
Really?
Yeah.
Well, on bowling, you mean?
No.
Bunchy ball? No. Okay. Just concrete.
Just taking a bowling ball on some concrete and just put it between two cones. You know,
the old, the old put it between two cones. I guess. Yes. No, like the orange cones for parking.
Yes. You know, where? Yeah. Yeah. You've seen the orange cones. Yes. We know, we know
that we absolutely know what they are. You take two of those orange cones that you'd
get for like parking. We know the cones. We're down with the cones. And you grab some sort
of ball, bowling ball that maybe someone left in their, you know, an open door or whatever.
And then you go and you just, you let it, you let it rock.
So there's a fair bit of theft involved.
You have to steal the cones and the bowling ball.
Yeah.
Okay.
You had said that she's never soling.
That was I think the first thing that she said.
But I will say I've watched her, we're at my kitchen island.
Yes.
And I've watched her pocket five oranges and also destroyed two others.
They're just a mess on the table.
I thought you were going to eat one,
but watching this happen has been,
okay, then why did you just steal five?
I mean, they're very obviously in your shirt.
I want to throw them at them.
There's this bird that lives in a tree.
I'm not throwing it at them,
but I want to throw it around the bird.
Oh, does that bird by any chance laugh?
Not when I'm around.
Oh.
Well, Van, you're an interesting person.
And thanks for coming in and cool.
Did she clear things up?
I guess what we need to know everybody is that,
if you see Vanity, don't be afraid.
Just let her do what she needs to do.
And it sounds like she'll be on her way.
She's not here to harm it.
She's not here to touch, then lock it up.
Well, that's what I've tried to tell my daughter.
You have a daughter.
Oh, I do, but you know, what do I need to talk about that?
We don't need to get a personal.
Yeah, in fact, we probably need to take a break now.
I think we do need to have a ride home Yeah, in fact, we probably need to take a break now. I think we do need to ride home.
Oh, how did you get here?
Walked.
You can't walk back?
It took me two days.
Oh, where did you walk from?
A bus stop somewhere.
Outside of town?
Yeah.
Okay.
All right, we'll call you a new burger.
There was a river. Oh, you were all the way out there. Yeah, okay. All right. We'll call you a new bird. There was a river. Oh
You were all the way out there. Yeah
No one goes out there. Yeah, this is a very something very spooky to me and I don't and I'm really trying to help you out The hairs on the back of my neck rising trying to end on a positive note. No offense. No offense. Oh boy
Oh now you've done it. Well, uhity, thank you for being here, I guess.
Yeah.
And please leave.
OK, thanks.
More when we return.
Hello, my name is Loretta Kling.
Do you need shrub removal?
Do you need a refrigerator removal?
If you need removal, any kind, my son has been doing odd jobs for people after he works
for years.
If you have any questions, please DM me.
Again, he's very sweet, he will carry heavy things, and he even does it with a smile.
Let me know, my name is Loretta Kleeck.
Thank you.
Let me know my name is Loretta Kleeke. Thank you. Well, welcome back to the neighborhood listen.
Ooh, that was, kind of safe, right out of the gate.
You know, when I said that I could open up my home to people that I don't know from a neighborhood,
I did not realize how real it was going to get.
I mean, we might have to think about a dedicated space.
Doug, did you check the Nest cam?
Is she gone?
Is she in our pots right now?
She's still in the front of the driveway.
I knew it.
I called her that Uber.
Are we?
Well, she didn't say she wasn't doing any harm.
She was just staring at the Nest cam.
She's just staring at it?
Oh, that is crazy.
Oh, don't show me.
That's scary.
Oh, God, why?
Good Lord.
That hair though. It is beautiful. It's striking.
It's absolutely. I meant to ask her what she uses on it.
I probably wouldn't have gotten him straight. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no for it. Oh, yes. And, you know, thanks for listening.
If you enjoyed this, tell your neighbor.
Again, we're here for you.
We're really hoping that this is gonna really jump off.
I don't know, is that what you can say?
We want this to jump off.
I wanted to jump off.
It sounds like a thing, people say.
That's a thing, right?
We do want this to jump off.
We do want this to jump off.
And be one of our jumpers.
Maybe that's what we call our fans.
Oh, I like that.
Jumpers.
Hey, jumpers. Oh,'s what we call our fans. Oh, I like that. Jumpers. Hey, jumpers.
Ooh, maybe.
Maybe.
Let's roll try it out.
We'll see if people liked being called that.
Yeah, well, you let us know.
OK, you let us know.
Yes, you let us know.
So these are just again, a couple of things,
items of business.
I know that constantly, there's constantly posts
about people trying to get rid of things or sell things.
Now, I just want to say I just have to say something because this post is someone trying to get rid of
what is truly just a poster of apples. It's a poster and it just has a bunch of different apples
on it. They're very well drawn. They're very well drawn. It almost kind of looks like they're trying
to do like crosssections of apples,
almost like one of those medical diagrams making it look sort of clever.
Or like the body's exhibition where they take Chinese prisoners and cut them in half.
Great.
Yes, yes.
Right, kind of like that.
And it says underneath, it's nine feet long, which is,
I mean, I would call that a runner,
not a poster, that is long.
That's even big for a flag.
Thank you.
I think so.
And it says, would make a nice county fair decoration, but I'm just thinking, I think this
person just is trying to get rid of it.
And I wonder, here's my question for everybody out there.
Why not just throw it away?
You know, why not just throw it away?
Because to me, it kind of feels like, you know, you're an adult, deal with it yourself.
I don't have time for this.
And I'm sorry.
And I'm going to get a lot of flack for this.
I'm sure.
Watch the comments come rolling in.
People do get upset about snark.
They're going to try not to be snarky.
But boy, you know, the day is long and it's busy.
And I don't know if I have time to, does anyone have time to take these apples off your hands?
Why do you even have this?
It bothers me.
It's just the poster of apples bothers me.
Don't, don't, if I can be,
the apple poster advocate here for just one moment.
All right, all right.
Maybe county fair parties are a big thing
and so this will qualify as a decade, are they not?
No, they're not.
Well, you would know what that is.
Don't try to make it be that way.
I apologize, I apologize. I'm sorry, but I just did what to do. Don't try to make it be that way. I apologize. I apologize.
I'm sorry, but I just did what I said I wouldn't do.
It's quite alright.
It's quite alright.
It's quite alright.
If you have something that you think anyone wants people to, you know, then post it,
but just stop and think.
Does anyone want this piece of shit?
I mean, oh, Jones.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I am really worked up from our guest.
I'm just, I understand.
I think it's outside my house.
I think it's symptomatic of this gig economy we're in
that people think they can't just throw something away.
They have to sell it.
That's right.
Well, it does say free to be fair,
but that makes me even angrier.
Because you know what, it's trash.
Then if it's free, it's trash.
Let it be trash.
Throw it away in the trash.
Let it be trash.
Give it to Vanity so she can lift it up and down
a bunch of times.
Maybe she'll stare at it.
Maybe she'll stare at it.
Maybe it'll bring her peace.
You know what?
In fact, that's exactly what we should do.
Just put it down on the street.
Vanity will find it, and you'll get ready
of your poster.
Probably a good rule of thumb going forward.
There's something you don't want in your home anymore.
Put it on the street.
Vanity will find it.
And I'm sorry, that got more emotional
than I thought it would. But look, we're talking about things. We're passionate about we're passionate about the neighborhood. It's real. Put it on the street. Vanity will find it. And I'm sorry, that got more emotional than I thought it was. It's quite, but look, that we're
talking about things we're passionate about. We're passionate about. It's real life. It's
real life. This is real life. Okay, now I feel like you're yelling. I'm not, I'm so
not, I'm not yelling at you. It's not, it's not. I have a speaking of peace and real life.
I have a, this is sort of a plea. This is a Amanda wrote this. please be kind on the bike path in dignity falls slash along the river.
Living in dignity falls for almost a decade and seeing how much the area by the river has
changed has been welcomed in certain regards.
Starts out pretty positive.
That being said, this is some of the cyclists on the path need a lesson in kindness.
I'm 35.
I was struck by a vehicle on my bike in Chicago many years ago.
Doesn't surprise me, Chicago.
Big city.
Came close to being run over.
No.
And I'm just now trying to quote,
get back in the saddle and quote.
The path seemed the best place
so the fear of vehicles would not be startling
or distracting, very wise.
At one point, I needed to stop
and some lady flew past me and said,
and this is a direct quote,
and I do have to turn away from the microphone.
Oh, get out of the way, idiot.
And deflated all hopes to be back on my bike on the street.
I need to boost my confidence again on two wheels, but the pretentious, fully clad in
cycling gear, rude individuals should possibly take a moment to remember that cyclists
on every level of ability and age range are riding the path to, and there it ends.
Oh wow, and I really love sort of the metaphor
of writing the path to, that person has a lot of poetry in them.
I don't even know, do you think she intended that part
about the path?
That's how it struck me, but maybe not.
Maybe because I didn't get it at first.
I feel like she didn't understand what she was doing.
You're right, possibly she did it, that happened sometimes.
But I think you're probably right that she did that purpose.
I think so, I think she's trying to say, look we're all walking a path, let's not yell at each other.. But I think you're probably right that she did that on purpose. I think so.
I think she's trying to say, look, we're all walking a path.
Let's not yell at each other.
And now I'm feeling bad about yelling about that.
Well, but you didn't yell, get these apples out of my face idiot.
Yeah, I'm trying to remember if I've ever yelled that out of my car.
Get these apples out of my face idiot.
No, no, no, no, not that's not that specific.
I would say that would be very,
now, was it a driver or was it another cyclist or another cyclist?
Right. It was one of those cyclist, too, a cyclist driver or was it another cyclist at the other side? Right, it was one of those cyclists too,
or cyclists.
But like a hardcore cyclist, the ones you all
would see.
With a gear, road individuals.
It will tell you.
Sometimes they think they own the road.
Oh my, well, when those people get off those bikes
and they come into a public place and they click,
click, click, click, like a dog whose toenails are too long.
Yes, yes.
Well, like escrow.
Why don't you, why won't you trim escrow's toenails?
Well, because again, the way that we handle everything
with escrow is, is we put it off
and we ended up putting it off about 30 to 40 days,
which is about how long an escrow lasts,
which is how we got his name.
He looks like Howard Hughes.
Well, I mean, P and Jarze, if he could, I'll tell you what.
Oh, my God, he's kind of a weirdo.
I mean, I don't look, I take in these pets,
I don't know what their history is.
I don't know what their history is.
You know, it's like.
You take them in, you care for them,
wait for them to die, and then you bring in some more.
Correct, but you're right.
I, you know, cutting toenails,
it's very, very stressful for a dog,
and I am trying to place that does it well,
so I'm sorry, I will do that.
But yes, they're stupid shoes, and I, and I, I'll count, I'll count spinning too.
I tried to do that thing.
I cannot.
I absolutely cannot.
I asked Doug for one of those Peloton bikes.
He didn't do it.
It's fine.
And you know what?
In fact, I'm glad he didn't because I'm not, I'm not built for it.
It is just, it's madness, I think.
Well, I tell you what, if you want to be on a bike
and have somebody yell at you,
why don't you join this lady down by the river?
Exactly, that's right.
So, I'm not a fan, but I do think that,
you know, they have an ego.
I think they have a real ego,
and I'm sorry to hear that they're yelling at someone
who's just starting out.
I am as well, and that takes us to the end of this,
an augur episode of the neighborhood lesson.
And I think the takeaways be kind,
we don't know what path anyone is on,
especially vanities, and it might be your path
that she's on, but just wait an hour and she'll go away.
And of course, we will now close with
a spiritual affirmation from me,
which Joan will beautifully home over.
Great spirit of the Universe.
As we all make our way through this neighborhood called Planet Earth,
please help us remember to be kind to each other, to mind each other,
to rewind each other, back to a simpler time when people were nicer the time of
VHS tapes. Thank you neighbors and we'll see you next time. See you next time. You