Threedom - Threevisiting: Buffalo Bill Cosby
Episode Date: October 24, 2023Threevisiting on the Tues: Recorded from their hotel room in St. Paul, Them Threedom Boys share stories from the CBB 10th Anniversary Tour, losing interest in certain pop culture movies and play Pitch... a Sit Song. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures and emails to threedomusa@gmail.com. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).
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3, 3, 3, 2, 1.
3, 2, 1.
Hello everyone.
Welcome to 3D and we very, very quietly sang along with that song as...
We're all on beds in socks, right? We're all on beds and socks.
We're all on beds and socks.
We're having a slumber party episode.
Oh, hilarious.
We are in slumber party at two in the afternoon.
Yep.
We're in St. Paul, Minnesota.
Yeah, we're in a hotel room.
Oh my God, so many things have happened here.
Do you want to complain?
Yeah, I do.
Okay.
So let's get our complaints right off.
Yeah.
Play the jingles.
We are in this perfectly fine hotel, but as often happens in hotels, there's some sort
of wedding party, family reunion, who knows what the wedding is.
I believe it's a wedding as they are taking over the entire restaurant tonight.
Oh, that's right.
Yes, yes, yes.
And I saw somebody getting there.
The restaurant downstairs.
No, no, no, no.
I wouldn't hate it.
That's more in sparr.
I actually have stated this hotel before that restaurant is not bad.
I have.
I have to get to the end.
I should have gone there.
The only complaint I had about the chop salad was actually delicious and had good ingredients is they didn't chop it.
Oh, that's an issue. This morning I ventured out because I was like, I don't want sports bar food right now. And I went to a coffee shop.
And I had the shitiest avocado toast anyone's ever made.
Fuck up on the cotton. I don't know, but it was so gross. And then I sat outside and I was eating it.
And then I go outside. Yeah, I don't know.
I just didn't know how to do that.
I just went outside because inside, there were three men and I was like,
and a baby?
Or a little lady.
And they were having a conversation and they go,
well, in the third act, we'll go, and I go, I'm in fucking St. Paul.
How?
You want to play bitch?
And then I go outside.
Did it sound good though?
It sounded so good.
I'm gonna steal the idea.
I'm gonna steal the idea.
I'm gonna steal the idea.
And then I went outside and started eating it
and it was so bad and I ate half of it
and then I went, this tastes like shit.
I said that loud and then I looked up
and said, woman had been staring at me
since before I started talking.
Clearly, like she was like mid-star.
You sent it out loud to yourself.
This tastes like shit.
This tastes like shit.
I closed it and took it with that. That's bad. That's a bad avocado.
You know what? I got to take this out loud. This takes like shit. This has got to be verbal.
Okay, so then what happened? You had this child keeping up all night.
So not. Not feeling up all night. Morning. Morning. It's the night. I'll be loading in the hallway. There was, so there's this little girl.
And I did not, we did a show last night,
then we went out for family dinner after we're,
for my birthday, for Lauren's birthday,
which by the way is over.
I know.
So no special treatment today.
Let me tell you, I'm glad.
And we had a, we had a very nice time,
but we're all I
Can speak for everybody, but I know Lauren. I were both up. We were keep tracking each other online
Yeah, we're both up quite late. Yeah, and then
I just sleep in the morning and I walked in the room. Yeah, man, you fell to the floor
As soon as I crossed the threshold I crumpled in a bottle my foot
It was me screaming this morning.
This family right across the hall for me has kept their door open with the little swing
lock, you know, that bar.
And the purpose of this is to get air?
No, so people, because they're all staying here, so people can come and go.
Oh, so people can come and go.
And this little girl is yelling so loudly,
and I thought they were in the hallway.
I thought they were maybe, I heard it too,
and I thought they were maybe like leaving their room,
you know how like-
I thought they're like lingering.
When people leave their hotel rooms,
they don't think about the other people sleeping,
they're just like, hey, I'm done with this place.
Let me just-
Yeah, loud as fuck.
Yeah, nothing else exists.
Yeah, and no one's there.
But no, they were hanging out.
Super loud.
And for a really long time, and I realized, this is how loud they are, because I realized,
oh, they weren't in the hallway.
They just have that door open, a crack.
And it's that much.
It's, it makes that much difference.
Yeah.
I, for some reason, I was able to sleep sleep through it even though I heard it the entire time
But it is it has been kind of nonstop including mere seconds before we started this podcast
The little kid was screaming in Paul. I went to jump jump to his feet
To reprimand the child he was in the air for seconds. Yeah, like floating
He was in the air for seconds. Yeah.
Like floating.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. And then Paul screamed very loudly the hall.
If you consider getting up in your night, gown and cap and going over there, I didn't have a stub of candle.
So I couldn't I couldn't find my way.
That would stop anyone talking.
You and Victoria night.
Yeah.
One night, one cap.
That's all you. Oh, I'm like, well, when camp, that's all you in my whole world.
Who calls so loud?
Go down to the market.
You know that goose hanging in the window?
It's good.
That's for hours.
That's what I do no matter what.
If I hit her up to the wireless big, it's me.
What the fuck?
I hate them.
I hate them.
I hate them. I'm them. I hate them.
I'm very tired.
I'm going to be doing this tomorrow.
You know they're going to be doing this tomorrow.
Yeah, but at least we have to get up early tomorrow.
Well, I mean, we are.
Well, come on.
Scott, let me have this.
I'll call stand 30.
10 to 30.
Yeah, but an 8 a.m.
Shout party.
When we have to leave at 10 30s, a little early.
True. True. I don't want an 8 a.m. shout party. When we have to leave at 10 30s a little early. True. True. I don't want an
8 a.m. shop party. The reason we're in St. Paul is none of your business. So back
off. Maybe you didn't see my mud flaps. How many say I'm holding two guns? And your
truck nuts. And of course my truck nuts.
Lauren was that all you wanted to complain about is your avocado toast fucking sucked and also wait So a lady was staring at you. Oh, yeah, she was staring me, but she was just like sitting out there as well
By the way, let me tell you what my patio situation was it was a bunch of tables and chairs
Table and chairs all tied together with like boats and hose maybe from
stepbrothers, soups, stews, stews and stews.
Oh, that's right.
They were just all locked together with like a bike chain
kind of like big lock.
The cables, so no one's using them.
You weren't supposed to be, they were only set up
and they weren't really.
They were supposed to make a pill.
What pill?
What pill is you not use?
Where, where, how do you use?
We're in,
Kevin puts one under his head,
one between his legs, one under his butt,
and one under his feet.
So he sleeps.
And one is brown.
We're in Kevin and Ryan's room.
Yeah, that's what I want.
He doesn't say to make so much.
I can't tell.
Yeah, we're in Kevin and Ryan's room.
All of the, we're on the beds. All of the chairs were like locked
together. And as I walked out, I thought, I should sit out here, but I also don't want
to turn around and go back in because I came out here and it's fine. And I sat there
crossing this woman who was kind of eating
at one of the other locked up tables and chairs.
Stables and chairs.
Tables and chairs.
She really was staring at me by the time I,
I guess, I mean, I didn't say it loudly
that I thought this tastes like shit,
but also it was only $5.
And I mean, I went back and forth.
This tastes like shit.
That's what you talk to yourself when you're out.
And I talked to myself, I didn't get to it ever.
I was talking to myself down at that sports bar
because well, I've had just terrible service
at the past two hotels restaurants we've had
because I'm usually the only one in there
and you never get worse service than when you're the only person
because they decide to just leave and do.
Yeah, it takes a long time.
It's a tough time.
So I just was kind of sitting there.
And by the way, every other employee just staring at me from the cooks to the bus boys
to the other St. Paul, there's servers.
There were just like, watching me and I'm just like, because I'm looking around the
room trying to get, figure out where my person is.
You're love for your love of your life.
There's more as per person.
I was just like, well, service here sucks,
it's out loud.
I don't do it.
I don't do it.
I'm all staring at me, yeah, I'll tell you.
I don't think I do it out in the belt,
but I do it in home a lot.
Yeah.
I will say, it will just be random things
that I will choose to say on loud.
Yeah.
It's pretty funny when you think about it.
Yeah.
Like to say, I'll just like do something in a home and say it loud.
That didn't work.
Yeah.
After you've talked for hours.
Yeah.
I also think when you're married, that tricks the other person into thinking they're trying
to talk to you because you haven't been talking and then suddenly they're talking and
it's like, what?
Oh, yeah.
I'm not talking to you.
Yeah.
It's just like every day,
so many conversations.
I once got caught complaining about Janie.
Oh, after I was like in some cranky mood,
she asked me to do something
and it was like, something she asked me to do already,
or I can't remember what the situation was,
but whatever it was, I was like,
like under my bed like,
fucking Jesus Christ.
And then she heard me.
She was like, are you cussing me out?
And I was like,
you're like,
it was a little bit.
It was.
And was that, were you persona non grata after that?
We are separated.
And you're here to find your person.
We actually say that to each other, sometimes you're my person.
Oh yeah, it's a very common thing on reality TV now.
Oh no, is it really?
Yeah, I just, I want to find my person.
Oh, that ruined it for me.
Oh no.
We don't watch reality TV.
That's why it's organic for you. That's why what? It's organic for you and it's normal. Yeah, no, we don't want reality TV. That's why it's organic for you.
That's why what?
It's organic for you and it's normal.
Yeah, I thought you said that's why.
That's why I say panic for you.
I panic for you.
I say, I say, I panic for you.
Say, I panic, I panic.
There's a shoes, there's shoes.
Shoes and shoes.
So those are your only complaints.
I got more.
You got more?
I have to say this is a nice room than the one directly next to it where I reside where
there's a huge dark stain on the ceiling.
Oh no, really?
Is it from when you came on the ceiling?
Power cup.
Kevin, did you?
Kevin, did you hear Scott?
Moaningless?
Right.
That was Scott.
That was how I thought I'd tell Roode next to him. Did you hear Scott moaning? Right.
That was Scott.
That was how I told Root next to Jamie Pardo in San Francisco, and I was sick.
We were up there for sketch fast.
Sick.
And that's sick, dude.
I said to him when I saw him that evening, I was like, do you hear me in the room?
He's like, yeah, every two seconds coughing.
It's just like, geez, yeah, that sounds like him.
But you know what I mean?
It's like, that's why you usually don't want to get
adjoining rooms when you're traveling.
Yeah, you want it to be a stranger who disturbs you.
Exactly.
If it was one of you guys, I'd be so mad.
But I love that it's this person that I don't know, right?
Well, the good part is you could have walked over
and gone, can you shut the fuck up? I was so close to so many times. I was kind of, even though
I slept through it, I was a little like, excuse me, people are trying to sleep in here.
Like what's the nice way to do it? Is there a nice way where they don't feel unmasculated?
With your glasses on and you go, I live here and I live here. I have to go to work the night shift and I have to sleep.
My grandmother is ill.
I flew into do a surgery and I need to get my sleep.
And it's a comedic surgery where I mine for last.
I think I heard something too.
Yeah, I heard something.
Damn.
I would take a quarter of a confrontation to take full of men.
I think the best thing we could do is say, I am recording a podcast in this room.
And if you do not respect that, if you do, then you don't understand the arts.
Comedy, tragedy, you hear two Conan revolutionized everything.
Thanks to daddy Conan, by the way, I'm so glad that you're recording this podcast.
Conan put earwax on the map. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad.
I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad.
I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm so glad. I'm. Okay. I know less than you and I want to scream my opinions. But I once went with a bunch of people up somewhere, uh, be more vague.
Um, Jackson, who I owe my friends, Jamie, but on 4th of July and one person we were with
who I won't name, uh,
watch it. Watches it every year and like made us all watch it. What watch is that?
That's just your the cipher's snake
But he have we talked about Pottermore. Did you figure out where you're what school? Yeah, yeah, I'm a huffle puff
I make sense. Yeah, and cool up is to it. She was very happy about
that. I'm slithering. Oh, you're slithering? That's absolutely right. That absolutely tracks.
But yes, they they it's this one dude Johnny something and he Johnny Voldemort. Yeah, Johnny
Voldemort, he wins all the time. I think you don't pronounce the T at the end is something that someone's told me. Oh, fuck all the way.
I know, I know, I know, but I'm just saving us.
All of you ever read a Harry Potter book?
I read the first one and I did not like it.
You didn't like it, why didn't you like it?
I thought it was unimaginative and...
So you think magic is real and all this stuff actually happens?
Yeah, I've come for you.
I thought like there was stuff in it that was just not,
I get it, it was for a lower age than I was led to believe.
I was led to believe like this is a book for kids,
but it's really for all ages because it's so fun and everything
and I didn't get how it was fun for adults from the first book
And I saw the first movie felt the same way. Well the movies terrible since then I've watched a
number of the
There they are there right I've watched that they're timing it so they only talk when I talk I've watched a number of the movies and
The movies like the story gets better as it goes on and it gets more
You know interesting as it goes on third movies great. Yeah, but I you know, it's like things like
Just like the the
Jelly beans that are different flavors like that kind of shit
Why do they sell them and they taste like poo and bird
Yeah, why would that's what you were eating?
I It's like poo and burger. Yeah, that's what you were eating. Just warning. Yeah, I poo and burger.
We can't.
Poo and burger, just jelly beans.
And I thought it was avocado toast.
Yeah.
I'm very fucking avocado toast.
Yeah, I did.
Sometimes it tastes like shit.
They put weird tomatoes on it, by the way.
I don't know.
What?
Tomatoes on avocado toast.
I know.
If they don't, if you order avocado toast
and it doesn't say tomatoes are on this,
then what are they doing?
I agree.
Avocado is a star of the show.
And it doesn't need help from tomatoes.
It doesn't need anything.
I've gotten into like full on debates
on stage with wild horses regarding Harry Potter.
I know you have.
And so it is a hot button issue for a minute.
Reuse, are you pro or con? I don't give a crap, but I. And so it is a hot button issue for a reason. Are you pro or con?
I don't give a crap. But I'm huge fan. So then we will get into things where I'm like, who cares?
Then she's like, it's the best that she'll reread it over and over again. But I read it when I was
in eighth grade and I was like, that's good. I'm 13. Like it was like I truly like yeah.
I there is a part of me where it's like, this I was a child, I enjoyed them.
I didn't read the last one.
At that point, I was like, it was like later in high school
and I kept starting, I'm gonna be like, I don't care.
Yeah.
And I don't care about the movies,
I don't remember which ones which,
and I don't care if you like it,
and I don't care if I don't like it.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah, I just. No, I'm just like, who cares? I bet.
Oh, seriously.
But I get, I get like, um, I don't even dislike it. No, I just don't care.
I know. It's one of those things where it's such a huge pop culture thing that a lot of people talk about
that sometimes it gets frustrating to just hear it constantly reference.
I kind of feel that way about the Simpsons. I liked the Simpsons when it was first on.
And then through a good chunk of years. And then I just stop watching it.
It was so dear to my heart because I love Matt Groening's comics before that.
And then so Jeff and all that.
So when life and hell and so when I heard he was making
a TV show, I was like, what?
And then it was, you know, with all these like comedians
that I really liked and writers and stuff.
So it was like, it really shaped a lot of my sense of humor
up until, up until I remember like the episode that was terrible where I was like, it really shaped a lot of my sense of humor up until I remember like the episode
that was terrible where I was like, oh my god, Simpson's made a bad episode, I couldn't believe it.
It was like the X-Files episode. And then it took such like a downhill turn for me to where I
can't watch it ever again. Here's what I think is a big difference for me is that I watched in
for me is that I watched it in its original airings and I didn't watch it in syndication because of how old I am. It was just a TV show to me. And it was like I understand you have a different
relationship to shows that are on like after school or shows that you can watch over and over
and over again because it's always on. And for me it was not that way. So it was like
appointment television that I would watch. Sure. It came on. Yes. But now it's like people, people reference the Simpsons all the time.
And it, it, it sort of ruined the Simpsons for me. You know what I mean? Like I'm just sick
of seeing it. What other stuff has like the fans have ruined? Excuse me have ruined
Foster Brooks. What are the other things have the fans ruined?
Foster Brooks is Lauren.
No.
Foster Brooks fans ruined him for me.
Who's that?
You know who that is, right?
Yeah, he's a foster brook.
Was this comedian from the, his heyday was the 70s, I guess, probably 60s and 70s.
That little redhead kid.
Who were you thinking?
What?
Oh my god.
Wendy?
I'm going to find out Oh my god. Wendy?
I'm gonna find out who I am.
Wendy.
Okay, keep going.
Wrong stocker.
Are you thinking of, uh, oh shit, what was his name?
Mason Reese?
Yes.
Who's Mason Reese?
Mason Reese was a cute little kid who was an advertising
campaigns for something.
I can't remember why.
Oh yeah.
But he was an adorable little red-haired, broken kid.
Sort of like a Seth Green.
There's some, there's some really fucked-up story. Rodney Allen, with the, of course. You have to know like a Seth Green. There's some really fucked up story.
With the, of course, you heard a fucked up story?
Well, I just called the police.
I really, the police are coming for that we could check.
I gotta remember this, I gotta remember this.
But anyways, okay, so I'm looking at Foster Brooks.
Foster Brooks was a comedian whose whole stick was being a drunk guy.
I've seen him on stuff with Don Rickles.
Yes. Okay. And he would do this, and it was being a drunk guy. I've seen him on stuff with Don Rickles. Yes.
Okay.
Yeah.
And he would do this.
And it was funny.
Like he did a funny drunk voice, you know.
Ha!
It was basically like a drunk guy trying to get through a story with like hiccups and burps
and stuff like that.
It was really funny then.
After being drunk fell out of fashion, like that wasn't a thing you could do anymore,
I remember he had to do a PSA about drunk driving.
Drunk driving?
Oh, and others against drunk driving.
They should have shot a clip of him and then they showed him.
He really did a drunk voice.
No, they should have clipped him being drunk.
They shouldn't be driving.
And then they should have clipped and then like that clip pulled into a little square and
then it was him in the present saying, hi, I'm Foster Brooks. It's not funny to be drunk driving. Don't do it. Okay.
I'm looking out Mason, reason he's still alive and has a young model girlfriend
and in June, he was on some show, man, dating model half his age,
denies being a sugar daddy. So pretty fast. I'm not a sugar daddy. I will be going down a hole with this later
I'm merely dating a woman half my age for everything. I just she's paying for me. How do you like that? I
Spent all my commercial money
Is that what Mason resounds like yeah, these very good. I mean doesn't that name sound like that's what he would sound like?
I'm Mason Reese. Mason Reese.
Well, this has been freedom.
Would you just ever be a sugar daddy?
What can what constitutes sugar daddy in your mind?
Like you would pay for someone who's like 20 and yeah,
you pay for everything for her and like,
she doesn't really
Necessarily do anything for you besides are you looking for
Okay, so she never has to talk to you look at you
You've ever made a meaning that like all you do is go over and have sex and then leave
Yeah, then you like give her like really expensive purses and stuff
Yeah, you're considering it Is, really expensive purchases. Yeah, I do.
So you're considering it?
Is that what you're asking?
Sure.
Yeah, why not?
Sure, she's hot.
What was that movie?
Where the women robbed everybody.
Widows?
Yeah, widows.
Yeah.
What is that movie?
They did the women robbed everybody. They have like do. We're all gonna wrap everybody.
They have like this.
They have the sugar daddy relationship and that seems
wonderful.
And ever seen that.
It seems wonderful.
It seems wonderful.
I'm happy no one's getting heard.
Who cares?
It seems wonderful.
I'm very.
I'm very happy for them. It seems wonderful. Are'm very happy for them.
It seems wonderful.
Are there any growing up?
Or did any of your friends sort of hope
for that kind of relationship?
Like a talk about that.
Oh, no.
It'd be so great if I could find someone who paid for everything.
No, I don't really.
Most of my friends are not of that kind of mindset.
Oh, lovey-dove.
Well, I'm serious.
I do believe that's a specific kind of person
who would want to not do anything
and have someone pay for everything.
I can understand that having someone else pay
for everything part of it,
but they're not doing anything part of it.
Well, they should be taken care of, yes.
I get that idea.
I want to be swaddled every night.
I mean, it'd be great to have somebody just be really,
really rich and that happens to be who you're dating.
But I feel like sticking out a person who's rich
and only dating them because of that is gross.
That's why I think you need to hide
your bank account statements forever.
Forever, you start forever.
Forever, from yourself, from everyone you've ever met. I don't know how much money I have. All that forever. You start forever. Forever for yourself, for everyone to ever met.
I don't know how much money I have.
I never know.
I'll never know.
I'll find out if I don't have any.
I just, I have account.
I didn't show for you.
Who called you?
It was actually for a number of years.
But you know, right?
Like I did, when I was working on Mr. Show,
I would just put the checks in the bank
and then never look at the balance and then just
withdraw anytime I wanted money.
And then I remember the day I got my last check, I put it in and I think like the bank went
to to to.
No I think I think like a week later I I withdrew and my balance was zero.
I looked at my balance and I was overdrawn.
Well like oh shit.
I should have saved some of this money.
Get hell out.
You really put any check in and then
drawing the exact amount out the next week.
Right.
But I had a lien put on my money for a while
because I didn't pay taxes for ever.
Because you don't believe in him.
I don't believe in him.
Technically, there's no law that says
he has to play taxes.
That's the issue.
That's the way.
Um, because I had, I always had like
menial jobs and no one noticed.
Like I also, I also did not know how to do stuff.
You know what I mean?
I think a lot of people just don't know
what's going on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cause no one like says you have to do it.
Yes.
You just start to figure out that you're supposed to be doing it.
It's a thing you hear other people talk about.
Yeah.
And then after a while, the government says, now we need to talk.
But I, and so it took me a little bit to get it all straightened out.
And then now I'm good with all that stuff.
But all the sort of like what you would think of as like sort of
homeic kind of life skills, I had to learn them all the hard way.
What was the thing?
When I was going up, taking homeic was like, that's girl stuff, and yet so many of those
like life skill kind of things.
But homeic was in my school, it was just like making pies and shit.
Like we didn't even sew.
I just like baked and stuff.
Like I would like, it was co-ed.
We didn't have that as a class.
I would like to have learned how to sew.
I would like to learn how to, I would like to understand taxes.
I don't, I feel like I'm just like, what?
Honestly, they should be teaching kids how to pay bills
and pay taxes and stuff like that.
Yeah, and what it means if you don't,
because like, when you, exactly.
When I've had a moment where my auto pay stopped working on some bill.
I'm like my credit score dipped.
And it's like, that's a really crazy thing that should be explained.
I mean, I knew that at that point.
Also with the fact that they market credit cards to 18-year-olds.
Oh my God, I knew this girl who, I know, like I ruined my credit with like five credit cards
that I got when I was 18.
Oh, my parents were really like not,
they were very clear about that,
but I knew someone, as an adult who was like at her 20s
who told my friend like,
oh, I can buy you a bunch of stuff at Coles.
Buy you a bunch of, yeah.
Because I just got a credit card there,
and I have to do that.
I was like, but the money be paid back somehow. Well, he could buy her a bunch of, yeah. Because I just got a credit card there and I had to just not say, but the money be paid back somehow.
Well, he could buy her a bunch of stuff.
I didn't have a credit card until I was in my 30s.
Oh, wow.
Oh, I guess I had my 20s.
I don't think I had a checking account.
I didn't have a bank account until I was in my 20s.
Wow, like I just didn't know how to do stuff.
What do you do keep it in your pocket?
I had a savings account.
I remember at our local bank that my mom would take me to
and you had to write everything in the book.
Like you had a book and you had to write it,
like every withdrawal and everything like that.
But yeah, like my parents never taught me any of that
kind of stuff, but then they would get mad
when I didn't know it.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
Like,
Well, that makes my blood boil, Skyld.
My parents.
I want to yell at them.
For you.
They don't want the phone.
All right, here they are.
You just want to take your-
Don't hurt, let's it up.
Take your radio.
No, shut your mouth.
You just yell, I get the kid across the hall.
All right, we have to take a break. We did it. Foster Brooks also was a guy who parted his beard.
Wow.
He had a ear in the middle.
He had a, he had a, he had a, he had a,
a cyber would be interesting.
He had a lustrous, silver beard,
and he would part it at the chin.
Hmm.
Yuck.
And it would separate.
He wouldn't braid it or anything.
He would just come.
No, he would just separate.
It was just a, clearly, five. Do people think that he was stealing like Dean Martin's or
WC Fields? Stick. No. Well, WC Fields, I think, just was a drunk in real life. But in
movies, I thought that he played it up, though. I don't call that. Dean Martin was just like,
I drink a lot, you know, but it wasn't a pronounced like slurring drunk guy. I don't know how to hold that. Dean Martin was just like, I drink a lot, you know,
but it wasn't a pronounced like slurring drunk guy.
Are there like comedians like that now,
besides like Chelsea Handler?
Who are like drinking is there, then?
I mean, I don't think so.
Like Doug Stanhope, I mean, Ron White, you know,
there's guys that like have alcohol on stage.
But I think, you did the, you did the, you're, you're in trouble. Yeah, I did a whole, you know, there's guys that like have alcohol on stage. But I think you did the,
you did the, uh, you're, uh, you're, uh, I did a whole, you do what? I did a whole special
and HBO thing, like a one man show where I drink four, I drink four pints of Guinness over
the course of a half hour. I don't think I know about this. My in laws saw that before
Janie and I met. Uh, wow. Just by, yeah, by chance, obviously.
Yeah.
And then when she showed, you know,
when we were dating and she showed them
a picture of me and they're like,
oh, that guy from the special.
And so what happened to the special?
In the special, I just talk and then I,
you get more drunk.
It's set in a bar.
No, I don't.
You would be hard pressed to see
that it had any effect on me at all.
And then so what was the reason?
It was like a stunt. And I also felt like, you know, drinking was part of my personality at that
time. You know what I mean? Which is kind of embarrassing when I think about it now. Drinking
and smoking a similar part of your personality in a way. I didn't talk much about smoking,
but I definitely smoked a lot.
And it was, I definitely thought,
you know, smoking was a thing where a big thing
that helped me quit,
aside from reading that book,
but helped me with everything,
because Harry Potter, I read Harry Potter,
I thought I was smoking.
I think I'm gonna quit smoking
smoke on cessation
quit
I'm smoke on
I think it's Native American
I think I forget man
I'm gonna read all Harry Potter and see if I like it
I'm gonna reread all Harry Potter and see if I like it
I think it's like it
Do you know Aaron and I talked about doing a podcast Aaron Whitehead and I yes
And she wanted me to read all the books a lot of work and it's a lot of work
And I said could we do the movies as you went no, it's not the same. Yeah, no, it's definitely not yeah
And I can see did that yeah, so we're still trying to think of a thing to do together. All right, you read the Bible
Just read the Bible. Just read the Bible.
Has anyone done that for a podcast yet?
Critique probably, probably.
Okay, that's ours.
Yeah.
Next season of three to me.
You read the Bible.
Next season of three to me.
We read the Bible.
This guy.
What the fuck?
Geez what?
Oh, smoking.
Yeah, what the fuck?
What the fuck?
One of the things about smoking is that it makes you think
that it's part of your personality.
And I remember my therapist saying,
because I was having trouble with something and she said,
well, it's like when you quit smoking,
one of the things you think is
that makes it seem impossible to quit is,
who would I be if this is no longer a part of my personality?
Because you don't know, you can't envision it.
And you really can't.
Like when you're smoking and it's a part of your everyday life,
you're not like a social, like I'll have one at a bar
or something, it's like-
Planting it continuously.
You can't, it's absurd how much it takes over your fucking house.
Yeah.
I've been seeing a lot of things online.
I'm saying having a dog. What online. I'm having a dog.
What?
It's like having a dog.
You're always thinking about it.
But with no payoff.
Yeah, always thinking about like dog loves you.
When are we walking?
Yeah.
How long can I be gone?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I've been seeing a couple things about vaping and how people are like, there are some like anti
vaping things happening right now where people are talking about it is.
It's fucking ridiculous I like retweeted something yesterday. That was just like a
comedian who said like oh, I
Enjoying watching everyone realize vaping is bad for them or something. You know, whatever
The the feed that they were so good
But I read tweeted and then the responses on it started to be like people defending vaping
and how like it's actually so much better than smoking
and better than, and I don't mean it's good.
I don't give a fuck.
What are you talking about?
Like, yeah, why are you saying like, okay,
it's better than smoking.
Like, yeah, you're not walking around
smoking two packs a day.
So is chewing tobacco?
Right.
It still grows and still does cause effects
that we don't even know.
You know a thing that I'm,
and then wait, there's another thing where,
because people were having like,
people at kids are in the hospital
for vaping like accidents or like things
that happen really quickly to their bodies,
and then people go, actually they were buying like
illegal versions of things that were like,
like not the sanctioned brands or whatever.
And so that's what that happened.
So actually do your research.
And it's like,
talking about like it's medicine.
Yes, like what you don't need this.
I hate it.
I remember in Doug Benson's movie, he did that documentary,
Super Army, where he smoked, he got high for 30 days.
And then when we were in 30 days.
And then when we were in 30 days.
Like all day, every day.
Yeah, I think he would wake up and., and that probably was what he was doing already
I don't know and then he was so
Sometimes he's always stone though. That's like the point
Not always. Okay. I think it's maybe I see him in the context of about to do a company. Yes. Yes. Yeah
But he there was a he had a sort of like a panel review at the end of the the whole thing and
There was a doctor there,
and they were just like talking about
all the experiences that he had had.
And somebody asked the doctor,
who was a, not an anti-canivist guy,
was like pro weed.
Is this safe?
And the doctor said specifically about smoking,
well, I'm never gonna tell anybody
that they should inhale anything to their lungs ever.
There's other ways to get it.
And if you get it other ways,
it can be perfectly safe and have benefits.
But that's stuck with me,
the idea of inhaling stuff into your lungs.
Like you're asking for trouble, you know?
Shut up.
Well, there's a, no, no, no, it's just, yeah.
It's like, like, why, what are you, oh, you like pot?
Yeah, but I mean.
But we have vape pens and stuff at home.
I don't.
I am a, why?
We do it sparingly, you know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But people who are vaping that are just vaping all day long.
Right. Like that's not, right like that's not of course
That's not gonna be good for you. Yeah, and I'm not sitting there thinking that inhaling anything is good for me. Yeah
I don't inhale
You think I can't hear you because we don't
All right, well What are you in your own right. Well, what are you in your mouth?
I've solved it.
Yeah, what are you in hell?
Just cupcakes.
Yeah, you have a haioi.
Oh my God.
So do you guys like this more than sitting alone
in your room?
I wish I could be sleeping with my wife.
I wish I could.
I love to mad you where you came in here.
I know you were really mad, but I did find it funny.
I had just, I tried to like sneak in a little nap.
Then there's like, I don't know what's going on above me.
It's a bum, but it sounded like people
were dropping marbles onto the floor.
I really had no problems in my room.
I nearly had my room.
I'm not running out of my room.
Two doors over. Two doors over.
Two doors down.
Yeah, not three doors down.
OK.
What are you doing?
Two 11?
Not 311.
Now we're just doing stuff where it gets close.
Yeah.
Close references.
Just a hair shine.
How do you like?
Wait, you were going to tell me a story last night.
I was going to tell you a story.
And I said, save it for the podcast.
Now, we remember what that was.
I have a big memory about it.
You started to tell us at the table.
What was it?
And it was about what?
Was it about, it was about something that we did,
something that we're going to do?
Something that has been done?
That.
Something that exists, it does not exist.
I don't remember.
Was it?
The image.
The pipe, something that's not.
I guess I should have written it down.
I don't remember.
Well, can we talk about last night
and how Ear Wolf sent this like cookie cake
to the show for me, which was really nice. It said a happy birthday. We talked about last night and how Earwolf sent this like cookie cake to
The show for me, which was really nice. It said it was
It was gigantic and it weighed
Seven to ten pounds. No exaggeration. It was it was in essentially a flat pizza box in the size of
a pizza and yet weighed so much more than a pizza
And I thought it was a cookie, and then when we opened it for dessert after dinner,
it had like exploded and it was like,
oh, icing, it was approximately 80% icing.
That's another reason why I feel like shit today
is because of all that sugar.
Me too.
It was pure sugar.
I had to stop it.
You know what?
I do regret it.
I did not regret it last night,
but I do regret it today.
Now, let's tell the story of walking.
Oh, we got to tell the story of walking in heaven.
Get ready.
So we are ready for this.
We finished the show.
I have a, I want to go back even further.
Yeah, shut up.
Shut up.
Shut up.
I was born on September.
You have to shut up.
We, when we do these shows a lot of times,
it's a, we, it's a sort of in-between time where we can't
eat dinner before the show.
Because we land like late enough that like, we land, we can only check into a hotel around
three.
Yeah.
So we're doing quick turn arounds on this.
So we're always like landing somewhere around two, getting into the hotel at three and then
we have to like leave for the show at 630 which only leaves like a weird
portion of time and you're tired and you're not gonna want to eat lunch you don't want to eat dinner yet. Yeah, so we will want to eat after the show for whatever reason
it never occurred to us to research a place to eat before the show right so then after the show we end up looking for a
place walking around walking around you to every restaurant saying,
is your kitchen open?
It's literally hot.
Yeah.
We did that.
One was totally shut down.
I'm like, I think so, but I'm not sure.
And then like, there's no one there.
And somebody sitting at a booth that works there
with a laptop, that place is not serving food.
Yeah.
So that was in Kansas City.
We walked a bunch of different places trying to
find food. We finally found one on the fourth try, I believe. Yeah, which was a place right across
the street from where we started. Yeah. But so we so we like, okay, let's do this smart. We're going
to go to this place after the show. We know the kitchen stays open, except to get there at a certain time. Get this cookie cake.
I get out my phone, I got the directions, we're ready to go.
But you have to carry this cookie cake because you're being galon.
Yes, we're being...
And welcome, because Lauren was carrying the cookie cake,
and she's in the care of the cookie, it's her birthday.
It's too heavy for my weak little lady, um,
her birthday.
And then we're spoken snap.
Look, I respect you, you're a strong woman.
Yes, queen. I could carry it. You could have said it. Look, I respect you. You're a strong woman. Yes, queen.
I could carry it.
Yes, queen.
However, I wanted the king to carry.
I want you to slay.
I want the king to carry the cookie case.
You could hire someone to carry it
using your own money that you earn.
So first we walk outside.
We walk out the stage door and there's
like a handful of autographed people there.
Like that have eight by tens.
For me, it's always.
Some of these people are animated characters. I think I don't think they were at the show necessarily.
No, these are people who show up in weird places.
Who like go around looking at events and saying like, oh, Lauren Lapkiss is going to be here
from Oranges the New Black. Let me hang out outside the place.
But hilariously, they had me sign pictures from Clip.
That's wild.
And Big Bang. But they didn't have Oranges theubak, which is like the only thing anyone would, no one
wants a clip.
But it was fun because this is like a job for them.
It's not like they're taking these home and going, yeah, I got lower in life because
the signature they're going and selling them.
But they do say things that indicate that they know who you are and they have watched
your stuff. No, they do that intentionally.
They do a little research so that the people don't feel.
But I think it's a little more than that
because I feel like they have demonstrated
not just like IMDB knowledge,
but they've actually really developing a show
about autograph hands.
Really?
And it's a crazy sub-culture.
Well, I remember the first time I happened to me,
I found it extremely creepy because they knew
when I was landing at an airport.
Yes.
Yes.
And I was like, how the fuck would they know it?
Yeah, that's really weird.
Yeah.
And then they also want to take photos with you,
which I don't understand because if they don't care
about who you are, why do they want to picture with you? I don't really get what they do with that. Well, these people are sort of
collectors as well in a way. So they have like their collection of all the people they've gotten
and then they sell the ones online. They got a good buying that. But it could be that they could
also put the picture up there to prove that here's me with this person. Oh, and they really have it.
Yeah. That's probably right. That's actually probably right.
Um, anyway, so those, those people also did not seem to grasp how heavy the cookie cake was.
No one could.
Well, it was in a pizza bite.
It looks like we're carrying a pizza.
And it was, but I said to couple of them, I said, I'll sign these if you will hold this.
Oh, and they were sort of like taking a corner over.
I'm like, no, you have to hold it. I'm still holding it.
You have to hold it so I can let go and sign this
and they would not do it.
Yeah.
So then we get through that.
Then I can't do it.
I can't lead the directions anymore
because I'm-
You're holding this good.
I'm holding cookie-cake.
And then we go,
the same way that directions Kevin's like, I got it.
And so we're following his map.
So we walk a good, we walk a good, I have a defensive And so we're following his map. So we walk in good.
We walk a good, I have a defense of him, but we walk a good, I know what it is and I don't
care.
12 minutes.
And then we, I'll tell you what happened.
Yeah.
So then Kevin and I are chatting and then I go, okay, it's up here on the right.
It's 4 11 or whatever.
And then he goes, oh, so we're like, what do you think like the hotel bars?
That's probably good.
And I was like, what? And he's like, you want to go to the hotel bar? And I was like, where are we going?
Right. Are we going to the hotel? We're supposed to go to a different hotel. He's like,
what? And we had this really confusing. Kevin had put in the address of our hotel where
we're staying, assuming we were going back to the hotel. But we were going to do another hotel.
In a totally wrong direction, carrying this big, heavy cookie cake. Now in Kevin's defense, we made these plans in a taxi that he was.
He didn't hear it.
And we, I, we carelessly assumed he would know what we were talking about.
And this is why we have the group thread.
And this is why we should put all information on the group.
All information on the group.
All information from now on, all information on the group thread.
From now on, every little thought you have,
every little plan you make, every little step you take,
every little bit you wake,
you put it out the group thread by man.
He's a really not-winking threat.
He puts it on the group thread.
And puts it on.
Where else it gets the host?
So then Paul just was so defeated, knowing that he had to carry this.
Buffalo Bill. This cookie.
Buffalo Cosby. Buffalo Bill Cosby.
Buffalo Bill Cosby.
I'm so glad I kept talking.
We finally got to go Cosby.
Three episodes and immediately when we get to the cost me no matter how long I know we're doing go cos we were saying bubble of bells on then it came together
Yes, I had a similar one last night with the steak tastes like wood. I felt very proud of that
Yeah, that was great. That was great. Anyway, you have to listen to the show just to close up the story
I carried the cookie then yes
I carry the cookie then. Yes, great.
You want us to know that you carry the rest of what we tried to say?
People were going to be feeling too bad for Paul and not bad enough for me.
Yes.
Okay, yeah.
And then we got the rest of the...
It's like Simon of Cyrene helped our Lord carry the cross.
Of course, God.
Is that from our next chapter or Bible podcast?
That's right.
And I was doing it sort of like I used to carry a huge trace.
From Catholic Coreialis.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Catholic Coreialis Capricorn, yeah, where you do it,
let me tell you, you do it on your fingertips.
Like, here's why that didn't work.
Thank you.
What do you mean, didn't work?
We'll be good.
I fucking carried it the entire way.
It's because you didn't see when we opened it
and how it had exploded from the center with all the fucking frosting.
No, that was probably from when I was carrying it because
the, you had to,
this fucking thing.
I was saying, who cares? We all wanted more cookie. We got more frosting. No honestly because the I
Could feel it break in the middle I could feel it breaking
No, and now we have to talk about when we got to the bar and the ladies who were having their bachelor
Party and they wouldn't get out of the fucking doorway and they
were actually like they owned that place like yeah and it was they were actually
so they were gonna check us off a guest list as we were approaching like
because they were so they were basically blocking the entrance the only way
yeah when we're carrying this huge cookie cake that no one respected this
cookie cake here's why the cookie cake should have been respected this cookie cake. Here's why the cookie
cake should have been on a scale that said how much it weighed. Yeah, that's true.
It should be it should be on a dollar and we should be showing every. Yes, this is 25
pound cookie cake. What would you guys? I would say seven pounds to 10 pounds.
50 pounds. I think it probably, let's see, I lift a lot of weights. Usually can you usually deadlift like 10?
Yeah.
Somewhere in there.
Yeah.
That was at the hotel the other day.
She was telling us where the gym was and anytime anyone tells us where the gym is.
Oh my god, I have to say like, okay, cool, because I'm going to be spending a lot of time
in there.
Obviously.
So, and luckily she thought it was fine.
When they tell you where the gym is,
I mean, I think maybe I'll go to the gym.
I could go to the gym.
It could happen.
And then I think, what the fuck?
In my two hours I have before the show,
would I go work out right now?
I have to be like,
I remember being in a hotel with you
and seeing you take the elevator down to the gym once.
Paul was really doing that on the month-long tour,
whatever. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah, that's great. I wish I had the fortitude. Do you have any other opinions or
memories from last night? Fun things that happened or interesting weird people?
I thought our waitress was great. She was. At the St. Paul hotel. There was a big booth because there were what seven of us all together
I think there was a big booth that had a reserve
Tarot or with a girl Carl Tar right Kevin
The three-room boys the pretzel gang
And there was a big booth that was had a reserve sign on it and like at this point
It's what's pretending 30 something like that
Yeah, and I went and so there were waitress was clearing off tables. And I said, Oh, is that, is
that, is that booth reserved reserved? Like somebody's actually coming.
Each one. Yeah. Like, no, right.
And then today, when I've ever come, I didn't look back.
Yeah, they did like literally an hour later. An hour later.
Yeah. And was that our waitress who was snippet?
No, no, no, this was a large type of...
She was a large, large type of...
Never, she was...
And then she went and removed reserved signs
from other tables and I was like,
does she just lie to me or?
Right.
But no, that table remained reserved.
Right.
Great story, Paul.
I did hear, go, it remained reserved. Right. Great story, Paul. Yeah.
I did hear go, it's reserved.
And like, she was being a little salty.
Yeah, like I'm just asking lady.
Yeah.
You defend her?
I wouldn't defend her.
I'm nice.
Someone like that ever.
I nice.
I nice.
Me no bad.
Me no bad.
Nice.
I'm trying to think of anything else that happened last night,
but I had a great birthday actually.
It was really fun.
I was kind of like, I told Paul that I before,
I was getting kind of melancholy about my birthday,
and I feel like I do every year.
And then it ended up being a really nice day.
It was lots of nice comments on Instagram,
and everyone was one to hang out with.
It's, I mean, because I usually just hang, I mean,
we recorded a show on my birthday, I was like,
but other than that, I'm just at home.
Yeah.
I was thinking it must have been nice to have hundreds
of people laughing at what you do.
They loved me on my birthday.
You're on friends as well.
It's true.
It was actually a perfect way to celebrate.
On stage, birthdays are really nice.
I've done that a few times, and it is doing a thing that you really like to do on your birthdays.
Right. Because I think typically, because this came up just this was just the dates that we got or whatever.
Organically.
But I never book a show on my book. I would never agree to do a show on my birthday thinking,
yeah, thinking I'm going to want to do something else.
Yeah.
They might have been better. It might be better to do that. Just be like, go hang out with fun people
and do a fun show.
I will say, I did it one time.
One time.
I booked a show on my birthday with Kristen Shaw.
We're going to do a two person,
Kristen Shaw is a horse.
Kristen Shaw is a horse.
Look at that, look at that.
That's a good thing.
Oh, good.
And we went to Boulder, Colorado.
And I, we flew in day of, or I flew in day of with Janie.
And it was, we had to get up at the crack of dawn.
It was a miserable flight.
We got there.
The show was at this place that I thought was a theater, but it was more of a rock club.
The show started way late and
Then there was like a weird intermission so they could sell drinks and so by the time I got on
People were hammered and it was late and it was a miserable show people were just like talking through the whole thing
And then we went to this super crowded gross bar afterwards. It was horrible
It was the opposite of what I had anticipated.
Yeah.
Well, this was a great one.
I'm happy you're alive.
Thanks, me too.
I am too.
I guess.
I was ready to spell that out, but.
I need to take a break, but we have a very exciting
three-cher coming up after the break.
Oh, yeah, I killed.
Are you going to kill me?
Guys, we need to blow this feature.
You're gonna love it.
All right, we'll be right back.
We're back.
We're back.
Freedom, dem-three, dem boys.
The pretzel gang is back.
We got it.
What is it? Is there a dog in the front basket?
Maybe, but there's a dog in the front basket.
I'm looking at it.
They're writing a jazz in his sugar baby.
And they're on his like, rascal scooter.
Maybe very sure they're making it.
She's on the back of it.
And there's a dog in the front.
Dog in the front.
There's a dog in the front.
There's a lady in the back. There's a dog in the front. What were you playing? There's a lady in the front. There's a lady in the back. There's a
phone. What were you playing? It was Instagram. Ryan is looking at Instagram while he records
the show with his phone on with the volume up. Me too.
Who is it? Fair point. But sometimes you can accidentally hit that volume with your thumb.
You don't realize your turn of the volume. That was part of our no phones in the bedroom policy because
sometimes you scroll through things. You accidentally hit something. It's very jarring.
You know what the worst thing for me is. It's having to sleep next your way.
Words as friends. I can still play that. Yeah. I'm I play with three people who you play with.
I play with Sarah Silverman.
I play with Daniel Kellison.
I play with Josh Malina.
I am shocked.
People are still accessing the word nerds.
They're real word.
I love that app.
But I haven't just it was very in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now it's really out.
I don't think playing Scrabble is can be. You're great and your hobbies are cool.
I hear a lot of people are using words with friends
as they're Ashley Madison.
That was...
I have some words with some friends.
Ever in this year?
Fuck.
But this should be illegal, in my opinion.
So you turn the volume all the way down.
Yeah.
And you have the volume off on your phone.
Yes. But there is one ad on
where's the friends it comes up every like 11 ads that just blasts.
And here's my question.
What is it?
And then I have $5 for ad free.
No, at one point they offered that back in the day, but now they've...
To you.
Scott, you're an influencer.
We'd like to offer you ad free words of friends.
You could buy it for like literally like a dollar or $5 or something like that. I regret the day I could do it because I don't think they offer it now because they make so much money on ads.
Oh man. I paid $5. I think that one of the best ones that I've paid for is the repost app. I paid $5 and I don't have to have
someone's name on the taking over half of my repost. I love it. It's great. It's
treacher time. It's treacher time. All right, what are we
pushing? The three-cher single feature. This is called here. The game is called
Pitch a Sit Song. We've done this before. There's a name of a song and someone else
pitches a sitcom based on the song. You're going to like it now. The person who
pitched the song title has to come up with the theme song to the show.
Okay?
So.
You're gonna be silly and great.
You name a real song.
Yeah.
Someone else pitches a sitcom based on that real song.
That title.
Then the person pitches a new song that is a theme song for that show.
Great.
Okay, so I'm gonna give you a song. Okay, so I'm going to give you a song.
Okay, now bitch, as I said, Gomdi.
Where the streets have no name.
Where the streets have no name.
Oh, this is because you like that band.
What?
I'm talking you to, to, to, to, to, to you.
Ask that mark.
Come in.
You don't have to knock, sir.
I don't have to knock.
I can just, hi, I can come in anytime I like. I don't have to knock. Who is this?
Hi.
I can come in anytime I like.
Yeah.
Who are you?
Hi.
I'm Mason.
Oh Mason.
You're our three o'clock.
Our three o'clock is here.
Hi Mason.
Sharon.
Next time give us a little bit of heads up.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
I'm Sharon.
I'm sorry.
I'm Sharon.
An audible.
You call it audible?
It's an audible heads up. Thank you. Anyway, so I'm sharing
this is Robert. Yes, and we know that you I'm seeing here on your resume that you've handed
me. Yeah, my resume. Well, you just handed it. Yeah, you just handed it. So you put it
on like Lisa Frank paper and it smells like Bath and body works. Yeah, saffron. I think smells like watermelon
It's kind of a mixture of all those things. Okay, so this is kind of
Countish
Not a whole lot written here. It says I'm pretty good
Yeah, and then past jobs cafe cordialas
Duck and doughnuts commercial
Chin chin. I watched a Dunkin Donuts commercial.
Says you're employed as a sugar daddy?
Yes.
Are you a sugar baby?
Yeah, it's a technical term where I pay for a woman's rent.
And I go.
And you just laid down on our shades laps.
Yes.
That's in case we feel faint, but go ahead.
I thought you said you have a fainting couch in your office.
Share your thoughts that we use in case we faint.
Share in faints from time to time.
I do faint from time to time.
Out of surprise or all sorts of things.
Mason, so what are you here?
What's the point with the budget?
Why are you here?
When you guys buy television shows, don't you?
Sure do.
We do. That's our business. Well, we just bought a really Why not? You guys buy television shows, don't you? Sure do.
We do.
That's our business.
Well, we just bought a really funny one.
It's called Barney, the red dinosaur.
Yeah, the red dinosaur is going to take the dinosaur community by store.
So it's taking the blue out of Barney.
Well, Barney was purple, but I guess you might be.
I know, but if you combine red with blue, it's purple.
Wow.
Okay, so you think you're better than me.
Yeah.
You think you're an artist?
Wait, are you? I am better than you can have your jobs
Well, yeah, I'm better than both. I'm better than you to move over I feel faith
Oh, you're snuggling sharing. Okay, this might be illegal now. Can you just please?
Please, you're sharing please. Can you just tell us what your idea is because I have a lunch at 310
And I have a dinner tonight
Okay, well, it's 10 in the morning, and I also have a mini
HD on four weeks in you mo right? Yes 310 to you
That's a great thing about a California you can surf in the morning and ski it in the afternoon
I know I wish we were there. Oh well. We are in St. Paul now
Please
This is for St. Paul television St. Paul television, please. This is for St. Paul Television.
St. Paul Television, well.
So what is your idea?
I have an idea for a show called Where the Streets Have No Name.
Intriguing.
Because where I'm from, Streets Do Have Name.
Streets Do Have names.
And we're in St. Paul right now and they certainly have names, names like Minnesota Avenue and Fourth.
These are great. So, no, what is happening on this show? Well, for me, a show is all about
the characters. Okay. So, like this, like this. You do need people. So, yes. So, there's a person
named Qualty, who, what? Qualty? Qualty? Qualty. Okay. And why don't you look at to get inspired to name the character? Yeah, what's your process? You look around at things and
And yeah, I did nice. I'll quality you and I right
So that's a great name quality. Yes, all right. So quality you're mad. I am, but please continue
Why would you be mad? It's the log line? The log line is in a mysterious town
Where a really funny guy in a mysterious town in a mysterious town, okay? I heard in a mysterious town
Stereo you know
Stereo is this we're not doing like a native America thing are you? Oh?
No smoke him. No, no, no, I'm gonna put you out
Okay
In a mysterious town we're a very funny man named quality this is the log line. Yes, we're a very funny man
Need to have his name
Street signs start disappearing everyone thinks that it's a local teens playing pranks
start disappearing. Everyone thinks that it's local teens playing pranks, but suddenly everyone realizes they can never remember the names of the streets. And cars just start
crashing into each other. And it's a mystery. It's sort of like a lost style mystery.
So do the street lights also? They work. They totally work. But people just don't know
where they're going. They're distracted. So they're not looking at the lights
They're just narrowly through
Especially through they don't know where they are
No one can figure out how to get home and all of these
Everyone's relationships are severed and tornace under
Marriages break up. Oh my God people who love each other people who love each other do and blue hate each other now like each other
Wait people with their people break up from their people from their person
Yeah, oh no suddenly
Finds out that he starts to unravel the thread. He's very funny. He's a very funny
Funny how is he funny?
What's that funny jokes?
Are funny nose or funny hair?
Okay, Sharon. I think we've heard enough and I feel like you actually could make
up a theme song. Me. I forgot that this is part of this. Yes, because I do think that
this sitcom is. Wait, it was. I think I was supposed to be our friend here Mason. Who?
What? She's someone I'm supposed to. Oh, you call Sharon and you're supposed to make a game.
Shea
Just me I thought the two the two people it is no one or two.
One remember with no song happened that was Sharon.
Can I tell you I came up with the name of the song Mason.
Oh that's true.
And then you did the thing and then the next round it'll be just as far as I'm sure I'm
trying to tell something. I love to hear I'm supposed to do it because I made up the song
okay our mind was just telling me that I have to do it okay and I wasn't
really listening too good is where the streets are have no name you were listening to the show
no I was I was okay make sure you work in that they thought it was the work of teens. Stereo sound in um you have to well cover it
and um
Stereo is down yes we've heard this line over and over
you're in my office in a town with no name in a town has a name I should stress that everyone knows the name of the town in a
Stereo's town
There are all these sons go we miss sing they don't know I don't want to give away this much in just the theme song. Okay fine. I'll start over
Stereo's town
And I'm serious town and I'm I'm I'm serious town and I'm
Okay, I think I've heard enough. I don't want to sell my show to you guys. The street signs are missing the jeans are to blame
And I'm serious
And I'm
Okay, you guys are obviously insane. I'm okay you guys are obviously insane I'm drunk
while you're fainted on the fainting couch.
I'm caught by some gittest days.
It's 10 a.m.
Why did you do it to get drunk?
Well, no, just part of my deal.
It's very catchy.
It's very catchy.
If not, so we're not gonna buy it. I'm not telling you to you. Okay, we're at a stalemate. Please close the door
We're out. Please let H with the ass
You're not gonna go away. Oh, you just go to the server. Okay, that was fun. Next round you name the song
The car title Paul
Pitches I pitch it okay you and I do that and then okay using the song. No, yes, I do okay
Bob with the ball
Hi, oh, oh
Oh, he's here. Okay, put away away. Put it away. Put it away.
Put it away.
Put it away now.
What are you guys doing?
Drugs.
We're just doing a little bumpy to get us through this combie.
You guys are cool.
Yeah.
So much, but who are you?
We're Radical.
Yeah, we're cool.
My name's Entable.
Entable.
Yes.
What's your process for coming up with that name?
We should ask his mom, I guess. My parents named me N table. Oh really?
What's your husband?
No hippies.
Lamp.
It feels to me, and I'm not going to accuse you of anything.
No, I'm just a real guy. It feels to me like you're just looking at this N table and lamp next to us.
Oh, is that weird N table that we had this meeting in our hotel room?
Be honest. Is it anywhere that I'm in your hotel room?
I mean, this is where we take meetings and it shifted the energy shifted when he walked in.
Yeah, it's really cool. I love this energy. Not to wine steam you,
but I'm going to take my dick out and jizz in this plan.
Will you please feed my plant? It craves humans.
I love this guy.
No, no, sorry.
And Table, you have a show you want to pitch us?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, it's just a show.
I'm sorry.
You may have been misinformed.
I was.
My emails are in all hyroglyphics.
But it does need a song.
So let me tell you what the show's about.
Yeah.
It's called,
Ba- with the ba.
Oh.
Interesting.
Hey.
And it's the story of how
Babar met the baby boss.
Babar the elephant.
Babar the elephant met the baby boss.
No, is it Babar?
Babar, Babar, Babyar, Robob.
It's not Robob for sure, but it could be any of the others
as far as I know.
But it is Babar.
I love Babar, I love those books.
Oh, so great, he's a king.
I love the baby boss.
Yes, the baby boss is adorable.
And it's carloan from all of our interests. So it's a crossing over of two different worlds
And if you can buy both these properties then we're in business
Well, I already own the baby boss. Oh great. Do you own by bar? I own Robob. I own it on DVD
Nothing really worth it. It's bad bar when he looks in the mirror
I own it on DVD is out enough
Yep
So we could do this but we must be sworn to secrecy.
We'll never tell anybody whether we made this show.
And then what happened?
So here's what happens.
Yes.
The baby boss, he goes on a safari.
He's going to kill an elephant.
Okay, like a boss.
He here exactly.
Yeah.
Everything he does is like a boss.
He's going to kill Babar.
He doesn't know he's going to kill Babar.
All he knows is he's going to kill the king of the elephants. Does he know who Babar is from his ex-boy kill Babar. He doesn't know he's gonna kill Babar. All he knows is he's gonna kill the king of the elephants.
Does he know who Babar is from his ex-boys?
No, he doesn't, but he finds out
because Babar is wearing his fucking clothes
like a real person.
I love his clothes.
And the baby's boss is like,
what were both wearing suits?
Neither of us should be wearing suits.
Because they're both babies.
Yeah.
Well, no, Babar is not a baby.
Babar is a baby.
No, he's an elephant.
He's a grown man, he has children.
Yeah, he has children.
Yeah, he wears a nice green suit.
So the baby boss and the Babar realize,
we both are beings who should not be wearing suits.
I think we should be best friends.
Mm, suit friends.
They're suit friends.
They're unlikely suit friends.
Unlikely, this will be wearing suit friends.
This will be front on the Do Do channel.
Right.
Oh, okay. So, uh, the- I'm looking at Babar right now. suit from likely this will be where this will be front on the dodo channel. Right. Okay.
Yeah.
So, uh, I'm looking at Babel right now.
The show follows their adventures.
Oh, they're good.
They go on adventures.
They go on adventures.
Mostly it's trying on clothes.
Okay.
They go shopping a lot.
All right.
A lot of bespoke suits.
A lot of bespoke suits.
Now, is it bespoke or bespoke?
It's bespoke.
Okay.
Okay.
And, uh, eventually, we follow them all the way into the future. Spoke or best pick. It's best book. Okay.
And eventually we follow them all the way into the future
where they shop for clothes in space.
Is it in real time, the show?
Yeah, it's gonna run for 50 years.
So we have to have a space travel kind of technology
catch up with us in order for your plants to come.
Well, we have space travel technology, right?
But shopping in space?
Dillard.
Well, you pretend that's where...
Dillard?
Yes.
I think you should sing the song.
All right.
Well, I was thinking that...
Try to work in teens.
Yeah.
What do teens have to do with this?
Well, we want them to watch it.
Oh, certainly.
We need them to watch it.
We need that demo.
Okay.
Well, if I had to write a song for this, and I do write the themes songs for all of our
products, and you do have to.
And when I say products, I mean television shows obviously, which is the one products that
we put out.
And potato chips.
And potato chips.
And potato chips.
It would go a little something like this.
First you take a ba. Ba-ba-ba-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a- the elephant get another ball the baby boss teens love it adults love it they
go into space and they try on space suits but not the space suits that you would
have heard of these are the suits that are three p suits ball with the ball teens love
it hey watch it it starts right now.
Wow, I just understood how you got inspired.
Right.
I think that song was great and it served my vision.
OK, I think we're going to buy it.
We're going to buy it, definitely.
We need, we need content for 50 years.
Yeah, I want to, something that runs 50 years,
that's a cash cow for us.
That's ideal for us.
Oh, we could get the cash cow in there too
Oh, no, no, no, no, he's just a recurring character
He's the cow that gives you cash for asking trivia questions cash for gold cash for gold. Well congratulations
I was stuck up ahead all night for gold cow. I was seeing that
All-ass thing for Goldcow. I was seeing that all last night. Jennifer Cash. That's checking the cash. Well thanks guys, I'm gonna go to my home now.
Don't let the door hit you. Where? The good Lord split you. Is that about my
cliff palate? How rude. Yeah, if the door hits you there, you really walked out wrong.
Okay. Okay. Now it is time for Paul I pick song
Okay
the song goes
Any song your favorite song? The first song I was the piniacalata song is the
song in the name escape the piniacalata song
The escape song
parentheses do you like piniacal?
Excuse me. No, it's escape parentheses the piniacalata song. Excuse me.
Oh, hey, hello. How long have you been there?
Four minutes. Oh, so sorry. Oh, hey, hello, how have you been there? Four minutes. Oh, so soon. Are you in a picture? I show. Oh, you must be Juniper. I'm
Juniper Ding Dong. Juniper Ding Dong. Juniper Ding Dong. Juniper. Juniper. We hear a lot of great things about you,
Juniper. Thank you. Have you seen my performance out in the square?
We see it every day.
We're right.
Our office overlooks the square.
And it's protesting us.
So yeah, we've seen it.
We yeah.
Keep cancelling the OA.
Keep cancelling it.
The problem with that theory is that implies that we would have to renew it every day and then cancel it every
We could just keep announcing that it's canceled. Okay. Reminding everyone still canceled
You know a lot of networks don't do that put out a press release by the way. Oh a party mail
Still canceled
Now I would like to pitch my idea to you. You seem very hungry. Are you okay? Yeah.
I'm on day 10 of my hunger strike, but I can't sing the O.A.
I have something for you to eat if you need it.
You're big.
I'm not hungry for these nuts.
You started your hunger strike 10 days ago?
I'm hungry for you nuts.
Don't understand.
Two-in-kind of nuts. I knew.
He's not a witch.
I knew it.
Look, cut the shit.
What are you pitching?
We're all business people.
Okay, okay, okay.
Alright, alright.
Yeah.
Now we get down to business.
Take off my mask.
No, no, no.
Okay, so he's my tip.
Okay, so the idea is it's false. So, okay, just buy it, please,
because I'm fucking out on time for the show.
So the idea is that, okay, so,
it's more, okay, so you're, okay, so you're, yeah, yeah.
You're back, okay, so you're back.
So you're backstage at grocery store.
Sure, I'm sorry, just say you're backstage
at a grocery store.
Okay, and you, this is where all the fruits and veggies.
This is where they all hang out before showtime.
Showtime under the shower. Okay. What?
And they got to perform and get all glistening wet. So your nasty has to
check to them. Okay. So our nasty asses are what I checked into them. Okay. All right.
This is backstage. This is where the magic really ends. This is where it happens.
Okay.
And these people, these veggies, these fruits,
they are all fighting.
And then one day, it comes about a little alcohol.
A bottle of alcohol comes into backstage.
What's the pink a lot of?
Alcohol, yeah, rum.
Rum comes backstage.
It's just peanut in it. Peanut comes backstage. Yeah, rum. Um, um, comes back stage. It's got peanut in it.
Peanut comes back stage.
Coconut I believe.
Colada comes back stage.
Shabby the Dada.
Are you doing it?
I don't know.
It turned into a shabby the Dada.
No, I just, okay, you jump in.
I shabby the Dada.
I shabby the Dada.
I shabby the Dada. I do, do the tings. I shabby the tings.
I shabby the tings.
I do be the baby.
Okay, so, about these, about the box.
So, okay, they always say,
about the, uh, these.
We just did it, uh, as well.
These fridavegies, they are having a strike
because they don't want to be eaten
okay so the alcohol comes
but it's your time they got so excited
I know but the alcohol comes to go I got a deal for you
why don't you come and get mixed up in me and we get all the employees your little tips
and they do it and it's fun. It's a good time, dude.
And everyone loves it.
Okay.
It says it has an end, though.
It's a great, just a last for one episode.
Is it like a special?
Because it's a special, but they all escape at the end
because they get to leave and they'll get even considered a drink.
Okay.
All right.
So just to sum up, the fruits and veggies are backstage at the grocery store.
They take a shower to get all wet to attract our nasty asses.
Dan, Peter Colotta shows up and everybody has a fight and then they escape.
And it's a good show, bitch.
And it's a good show, bitch.
Okay.
So undo his theme song, but yeah, let me take it.
I'll take this one. Oh, he's a theme song. Yeah, let me take it. I'll take this one.
Oh, okay.
That's awesome.
I can back you up doing bass sounds if you.
No, that's okay.
Okay.
I know you love your bass sounds.
I'd love to do just one bass sound ever.
You don't even know what I have planned for my melody.
I'm honestly about to go pitch it somewhere else.
Oh no, oh no, we can't let her do this.
All right, here's my song.
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
Box two, that little slay store.
Gotta get all shiny for the people who are poor, who come inside.
They gotta eat some food, but wait.
Time to be so rude.
There's been a collada is making a mess.
Everybody said, oh, we're gonna go in.
Bless this mess, be we're fruits and vegetables. Let's
escape. We gotta escape. We gotta escape. Escape. Escape.
Escape. Escape. We gotta go to a place where we can escape.
APN is on the way.
We gotta play the piano and we will.
This is the best of all. We gotta play piano and we will. This is the best of me. We gotta say pianos.
Pianos are the best.
Pianos are the day.
Pianos in the West.
Pianos at night.
Pianos during the day.
Pianos are the one true holy way.
I wanna have a piano now.
Won't you give me the piano and how?
I gotta have a piano for me.
You're dancing.
piano. A piano. I gotta piano. I gotta have a piano You're dancing! A piano!
I gotta piano!
I gotta piano!
I gotta piano!
I gotta piano!
I gotta piano!
I gotta piano!
There it is!
So sing it and buy it?
No, the song doesn't make sense.
Yeah, unfortunately the song doesn't make any sense.
Okay, I gotta go put my mask on.
Shh.
All right, put it on.
Hello.
Okay.
Hi, Juniper.
Hi, Juniper.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
Hey.
Okay.
Fun game.
Fun.
Good songs.
Paul's falling asleep.
Great oldies.
No, wide awake.
We got to wrap it up.
We got to wrap it up over his eyes.
It's been up last.
We love this.
And thank you.
Thank you for listening.
Thank you for listening.
Thanks for listening to us.
Thanks for listening.
Thanks for listening to us.
A special on tour edition of 3DM.
An O-T-E-O-T.
Yes.
We'll see you next time. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.TE OTE. Yes. We'll see you next time. Bye bye bye.
you