Threedom - Threevisiting: Chalk Talk

Episode Date: November 29, 2022

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul and Lauren discuss their concerning amount of head injury stories, odd interactions with the police and losing a finger. Then the three hosts play the game Duck, Marry, Kiss.

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3-0! 3-0! 3-0! 3-0! Hello everybody, it's us again. I'm Paul F. Tompkins. I'm Lauren Lapkins. I'm Scott Ocaravan.

We're your friends that you love, and we're here to talk to your best friends. We're your best friends. We're here to talk to each other. That you love. We're your best friends. We're here for a sleepover love. We're here for a sleepover world. We talk to each other and you listen to us.

And you don't say, oh, fucking thing. That's right. Oh, we can't fucking hear you. But still, even though we can't hear you don't talk during this. Please don't. It's just disrespectful. What do we care actually? Fine, talk over us in time.

Talk over us the entire time. Talk over it just like we're doing right now. We're talking over each other. We're talking about a cross talk. Everyone talks. Cross talk. Oh buddy, listen. Cross talk.

What do you see at the arc light? I have a receipt here. I'm trying to show off. Don't worry, don't worry, don't worry, don't worry. Are they showing porn at the arc light now? Don't worry about it. Hey. They went worry. Are they showing porn at the arc fun now? Don't worry about it. It was, it went under the reader, but I said I love daddy. It is when I see it.

It's being the film you saw and then you said, porn, I just wanted to, because someone's gonna hear that and things. I forgot that that was a movie that's not allowed. Remember that movie anymore? Yeah. Nope. Remember that thing? It got put in movie jail.

Movie hell. It'll never get out. No. You know what? They put it in the Disney vault. No, right next to the song of the song. Yeah. My place where you can't get to it.

What is this show? What are we doing? This show. Let me sum it up. This is a show where three friends get together. They talk. They have a spirited, lively discussion about this, that, and the other thing.

We are sort of controversial fire brands. Yeah. Yeah, I've started to say. Oh, I thought you guys would like my socks, I wore them by happenstance, but. Let's check them out. They say, I don't care. I don't care.

But on the bottom, they say, I'm high, not I love it. What the fuck? On the bottom, on the foot, like a soul of the, oh, I'm high. What? Oh, I get, I don't care. I don't care, I'm it. What the f**k, the bottom of the foot? Like the sole love you daddy. Yeah, so turned on Movie gum meat going Just the fun Concept I mean 24 frames per second Wait, can I bring to your attention a news story that was sent to me? Oh, please, play the jingle. Bam, bam, bam, bam news. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, shot of a clickbait news ad or whatever you'd call it. And it's a sponsored post. And it's a picture of, well, the headline says, his ex wife dropped a bombshell in divorce, so I'm guessing

something about divorcing. And there's three faces of... Because he abuse the town divorce? Bonshell in divorce. And then three faces of shock and horror, and then the couple is me and DJ Quiles next to each other. Oh, hey, you boy. Now, as I've said on numerous shows, I am told often and daily that I look like DJ Quiles. Right. How does that make you feel hot?

Ha! Ha! And this person made this clickbait where we're married. And apparently I divorced him and it's pretty great. Oh, so that was not a mistake in the clickbait. That was someone just took that. There's been one of me where it said, you won't believe how these celebrities died.

And there was just a picture of me, like, in Jurassic World. And. How did you die? I don't know. I never clicked it because you're a ghost. And you can't use a mouse. My hand would go right through. Do you remember the first time you ever saw a DJ

quals? Yeah, road trip. And did you where you like that? It looked like me. I was like, why is this a mirror? I'm standing around a mud diaper too. How did I get it in the movie? How'd I get it in the movie?

You know, yeah, I did think it. It's an in a no-ing. It's an in a no-ing. Yeah, I did think that. It's an in a no-ing though, how many times people send you, like you look like this person a day? Yes, yes.

I don't know, and I've done it to you, Paul, once. Once. Yes. I felt guilty about it because you look I think you look like a guy in narcos or something like Yeah, that was what I was never Never No, people will send me literally any person or thing that has a mustache right Mustaches like look at the stars. That looks like you. This is the bus. They have a bus there.

Wait, that's a title. Yeah, enough for the show. By now we've named it. By now we've named it, but we don't know what the name is. It's exciting. What an exciting time this is. Oh boy. This is our second episode, by the way, right?

Yeah. Okay. People send me pictures of, I mean, I do get pictures of girls that are not unattractive, but they just have big blue eyes. Send them to me. You can't. Forward them. Pictures of girls. I just want to see if you were conscious. You're to constantly send me pictures of girls. I think you're gonna be a really funny bitch. Just girls. Watch out. I get sent and it's happened again that Lauren sent it to me the other day. Oh, yeah.

And this is, this happens once a year, but it's been happening for three years now. There was a story in 2014 where the cake boss was pulled over for drug driving. Oh, yeah. Constantly these days, like over the last few days, constant. It's like, and to me too. And people saying, you got to talk about this in the podcast. It's like, we did. Yeah, when it happened years ago.

I thought it was new to, because Rob Delaney retweeted it. And then I saw that it was old, but I still didn't care and send it to you. Yeah. But people sent it to me a lot. And it's weird that it's like. I see seed on him. Yeah.

Oh, awesome. Oh, yeah, everything's like. I see seed on them. Yeah. Oh, awesome. Oh yeah, everything you get. I'm see seed on all emails, all things. I could exchange my settings. Yeah, I mean, it was kind of odd when it first started happening that I just rolled with it. Scott, what's your news item? My news item.

My news item. We need shared one. We play the gig in T.O. it's time. That's it. That's it. He said, kick-foss was an adrong driving. I knew it. He was out of the news item from three years ago.

One's mine from the fake future. All right, mine's war. There you go. Go ahead. From 1941. Oh, what happened? Just that fake deadline. Who won?

War. Why does war happen? Guys, it's been so long since there's been a war. Isn't it? I mean, uh, why? Well, I guess a new one you mean? A draft, one where they draft people. Oh, yeah, that's true. That is true.

It's been a long time. We had a lot of volunteers nowadays, huh? Yeah. Is that really why? Like, as people are volunteering, so we don't have to draft. There's not a big enough for them. Uh, also, I think because hand-to-hand warfare is not thraige anymore. It's going out of fashion. But they don't

draft people just to be in the army. Oh, no, this country. No, I mean, but I know that now, but I'm saying they wouldn't if they had like some big thing. No, well, I remember back in 1990, I was in college and they and a person came to our college to talk to us about being a conscientious subjector. Just in case a draft was about to come. There was that first Gulf War, people were concerned that they were going to bring the draft back.

My mother saying to me, if there's a war, I hope you'll go to Canada. Wow. Yeah. I mean, I was 20 and you were 15. What? I was gonna go the other way. You beeped. Oh, yeah, no kidding.

But yeah, it was kind of scary there for a second. I mean, you know, we were right in that age. You know, how old is Sewell, like 35, they stopped taking you or how I can't recall. Oh, I don't remember what, might've been 35, might've been the cut off. Maybe it was a little younger, I can't even remember, but like for Vietnam.

Yeah, they were just taking everybody. I have a friend who's a couple years older than me who remembers seeing the Vietnam war on TV and thinking like he was old enough to be aware that it had gone on for a long time. And he thought, oh my God, I'm gonna grow up and I'm gonna have to go to Vietnam because he thought it was just like,

this world will never end. Yeah. That's funny. Well, I mean, it's funny. That's hilarious. It did. It's freaking hilarious. That's freaking hilarious.

Do you have any Lauren? Do you have any family members? Family members? Do you have any any Lauren do you have any family members family members to Who are in the armed service my grandpa? Yeah, he flew planes in World War two My father was in World War two. He was in the movie. Yeah, my grandfather's in World War two my father was in the Vietnam war Wow It's intense. They're better men than I.

Mm-hmm. Would you, uh, it's a good man though. If there were a draft. I'd go. I mean, one hundred percent. I said it. It is interesting though, that Paul,

you and I probably grew up with, because we grew up sort of during Vietnam era, we, I remember being very fearful of it happening. Yes. You know, like, oh, it might happen, and I might have to go. I remember that it was like, I was afraid of going to jail, and I was afraid of getting drafted. But Lauren, I mean, did you ever, was that a part of your life at all?

No, I've never, it's something that I've heard about, but I've never feared that at all, or like I've feared it for anyone else in my life. But I also was always like, I have that vision. I would never have to do anything. Did you ever picture yourself in the armed services at all? Like just for fun. Well, like when you were thinking about

like masturbatory fantasies. I put myself in a little camo. I'm just kidding. What you were thinking about, like what job you would have when you grew up? I know. No, no, no, no. I would, I mean, for a bunch of reasons.

There was an army recruiter. No, fans, I think everyone's wonderful. No, no, taking. There was an army recruiter in high school who would take me out to lunch and I would string him along, saying I was thinking of it because I wanted free lunch. Oh my God. And eventually after, you know, like eight lunches, he was like, look, it's shit or get off the pot.

Oh my God. Are you enjoying it? Lunches! And you haven't shit after any of them? And you went out to lunch in a toilet. Did you ever want to be out of the toilet? I ate out of the toilet. I never wanted to be, but I imagined, I imagined when I was like, because my older brother joined

the Navy to get money for college. And he was lucky that he was in there right before, he got out before, right before we, that first Gulf War. I really, so yeah. So he got a dishonorably discharge. Yep, that's right. He was stealing ocean water. Oh, what it. He would take a tin cup and he would scoop out some ocean water and put it in his footlocker. Is that what that movie tin cup is about?

It's about my brother's story. And the store, the footlocker? Yeah, and the video game tin cup. What's a footlocker? The footlocker is, it's a locker that would be at the foot of your bed. And it would be like a little crate with a lock on it. It's where you you keep personal effects there as well as do you keep your uniform. So to speak a cute play on word to the shoe store. Yes. Yes. Yes. But why do the wear referee outfits then if it's all because each

locker had a little referee in there. Like the Indian in the cupboard? Yes, to keep this close separated. I used to call that movie the engine in the bread box. Just to be offensive. I got well. I was 15. I went to see it with my mom and it made her laugh. So, hey. That's her you were all right.

Tell me about it. That's bread boxes. Wait, so what would happen at these lunches? Well, he would explain what my duties would be. Was it the Army and the Marines? It was the Army. And because I think my high school was right next to a recruitment center.

Right. And so, yeah, he would just basically like, he would really gloss over basic training. Like, oh, that's no big deal. And that's the, and you know, in the 80s, like every army movie was about basic training. And how horrible it was. Yeah, how horrible.

I don't know if that's the case. I, you know, I have, all I've seen are movies that say it's horrible, but I wonder if it's like fine now and you just, There's no way it's good. No, it's gonna be really hard. Is that the whole point that they're showing you like how hard you can push your body? Well, they're yeah, and they're trying to break you down to where you don't question things anymore

You're you're not like you don't really have an individuality, I think I mean maybe that's just maybe I'm just getting that from movies I don't know well, I think it is it is about I think conditioning you to be a unit, you know, because they, you're not, I mean, I don't believe that it's supposed to be about individualism. But, and also, you're not supposed to be the type of person who of someone gives an order, you're like, well, what if I'm okay? That's good. But what if we, you know, you're just supposed to follow? Yeah. What if we did it at our own 900 hours?

Could I just snooze a little longer? All the running, can you imagine like having a run? I mean, it would be so hard. I mean, it's very impressive. Pulling, like just doing pull ups. Did you ever take the presidential fitness test? I did not. Why didn't you abstain?

I don't, yeah, I was conscientious objector. I don't know why we didn't at my school, but I don't remember taking that at all. Why is that how you became president? Well, we wouldn't have our current. You need to qualify if you take the fitness test. Did you not take it? No, it didn't mean it.

What is it called presidential? I guess because the president made it an issue of every school child should have a basic level of fitness. I can't remember who instituted that, but it was like, it must have been at least Carter, because I remember taking a, uh, we did, we did something at least like that. If it wasn't that, but it was like, we had to do the sit and reach where you like, didn't, did you do that? Where was I go?

What's that? LBJ guy. LBJ. A long ruler on a really, a couple of rulers connected or something on top of a milk crate. Maybe that's just my cheap school. And then you'd put your feet against the milk crate. Like it's just a pile of gold at other schools.

And then where maybe like a real ruler that's made to be the length of the thing. You would like, then. What, like a 14 inch ruler? Like they were making these special just this business. No rule was like these special just like this fitness and ruler. No rule was like, it was a yardstick probably.

And then you had to like put your feet against the milk and it went past the edge of the milk crate and you would lean forward with your hands on top of each other and try to press the furthest number you could and then that was your score. So if you get like, I got, as far as I could reach 60 inches or something, that's not accurate.

I could reach 69, you know. I could reach 60 inches or something that's not accurate. I could reach 69, really. I'm sure you care. And then we had to do like the hang or the pull-ups, or either, I was really good at hanging. I could hang for a really long time. You were supposed to do overhand pull-ups, but I could only do underhand and maybe one at that, and for some reason I've just never been able to do pull-ups.

Did you have to climb rope in your gym? You know what, I was forced to take gymnastics when I was 10 and 11 or so by my parents, because when I, okay, so here I grew up. No. The end. That's it. When I was six, seven and eight,

was in baseball, was in Little League. Did you guys ever do Little League? Or I did my brother did. I did baseball in my school. Okay. In eighth grade. So, but this was like during the, you know, afternoons and evening games and stuff like that.

Nice time. Yeah, sleep, sleep time. Good night, Moon. The dark of night. The Dark Knight rises. So I, for three years in a row, I was forced to, and this is my recollection of it, I was forced to play baseball, little league, and my coaches would always yell at me, and the team hated me, and I couldn't bat for shit. And at one point, I was always made to play right field because that's where no ball to that's right. And at one point, someone hit a flyball

and he hit me right in the nuts. And then you went 10 grand in America. So I remember and there were so many afternoons where I was crying and crying and saying, I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go, and they forced me to go. And so then after my third year, I was just like, I can't do it, I don't wanna do it anymore, please don't make me go. And they said, okay, well, you have to take gymnastics then, or you have to do something else.

First it was softer. Something else to get made fun of for? Yeah, and I could never. Something harder than. I could, you don't like that? Yeah. Go flip around Small beams and a unit hard. So here's what here's what actually happen and they didn't tell me this until I was 20 maybe

When I when I stopped having your cycle When I went into kindergarten They did I guess the kindergarten Equivalent of the presidential test, but they just were trying. The vice presidential. They were just trying to figure out your basic level of fitness. And I couldn't, I guess I could not hop on one foot.

I was so uncorredinated that they were like, you need to get him involved in some sort of physical activity. And so they put me into these things, but they never told me it was because of that. They just- Oh, yeah, but it helped you. They were just saying, like, you have to do this, and they never gave me a reason. Wow. Yeah. So I took gymnastics from 10 until 12 or something like that, and I was forced to go to a-

I couldn't just go to a regular gymnastics place. I was forced to go to a Christian gym, gymnasium. What? What? Called Athletes in Action, I remember. And it was where you would do, I don't know, you do an hour of gymnastics and then after 55 minutes, they would go, okay, chalk talk. And then you would sit there and they would take out chalk

and like, I guess sort of draw a Bible study or whatever. What? Yeah. Like chalk from the gymnastics, like our hand chalk. take out chalk and like, I guess sort of draw a Bible study or whatever. What? Yeah. Like chalk from the gymnastics, like our hand chalk. Yeah, hand chalk, yeah, yeah. Chalk talk. Chalk talk.

Yeah. So I was really. That's the name of the show, right? Chalk talk. Look it up. I learned that lesson the hard way. Chalk talk, look it up. Chalk talk, look it up.

Chalk talk, look it up. Chalk talk. Um. Chocolate, look it up. Chocolate, look it up. Chocolate, chocolate. Um, but yeah, so I got, I got, uh, I was really bad at it, of course, and the only thing I was good at was I was incredible at climbing a rope. And I used, because I have really long legs, and I could use them. I just couldn't pull up. I couldn't pull up. Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I couldn't pull up. I didn't show. I'm your DRIPPIO! Look at these getaways, Dick. He's wearing Tidstockings. Tidstockings. I'm wearing Tidstockings right now. Is that your what you call brawls? Tidstockings.

Just put knee highs on your droopy toes. Oh, my tits are droop-based. Get out of my eyes. I can't pay for my tits out. But yeah, I could propel myself up the rope. So yes, I did climb a rope to answer your question. Wow, geez, what day is it? Did they have a rope in your school, Lauren?

I could not climb that shit. I've never seen it. Oh, we had a hanging. I only have seen it in movies. We had a hanging. Like a big rope hanging from the ceiling? Yeah. We pulled it up to the side.

So if you want to play basketball and then let it down, I was always terrified when it came down because I knew I wouldn't be able to do it. There were three ropes hanging. They're insane. And they'd be like, everyone has to sit in a line. You line up behind the rope and everyone divides and you just wait and watch each other climb it or just It is really strange if you fall at danger. There was nothing there right? There was a tan blue mask under it and I only got up honestly

I'd like just pull my hands up as far as I could and like Hop and then I'd be done about 60 inches or about 69 I'd 69 the rope. I don't know. I don't know. You know what I would I love though on days when we had, do you ever got, do you guys have scooter days? Where you have these little like, it was a little plastic

thing with handles on the side and four wheels on the bottom. And it was just like a teeny little thing and you just run around with them like your ass in the hair and your hands down. What? How should be hair? Like you'd be. I know these like you're asking the hair and you're like hands down. What? How should the hair be? I know you said the ass in the hair, like it was a fable. You'd be like this.

Oh, I get, oh, okay. That sounds like. But you're small, so you're not like, it's not that weird. And it was so funny, you'd race around. And then one time I was racing someone around the perimeter of the gym and then he cut me off. And I roll, I like ran straight into the wall. And I was racing someone around the perimeter of the gym and then he cut me off and I roll, I like ran straight into the wall.

And I was in like, I'm afraid of something. And my glasses went straight into my head. Ooh. Like they cut my head. I have a glasses in my head story. Really? I have been afraid of that my whole life. Oh my God.

It was so horrible. I like rammed in my head into the wall and my God, so like a skew and pushed into my face. And then I had blood dripping down my face and I'd go to the nurse and she was this old woman with like really big lips and she was like, you might, she, remember she told my mom like 10 times, she was like, she might want stitches for cosmetic reasons. And I kept me like, what does that mean?

I didn't get it. Did you get it? No, I have a little scar. Do you have a scar? It's very long. Did you get? No, I have a little scar. Do you have a scar? It's very close. Yeah. So my glass is still. I see it.

Hey. It's just a lot of fun. You look like DJ Quarles. Because of my scar? Yeah. God dammit. You look like if DJ Quarles played Freddie Kruger. OK.

My God. It's too fucking. For the record, he's a handsome boy. Freddie Krueger? No, I feel like I've talked about DJ Kwells more in the past year than like anyone else. You probably will get to be the person. Then all I would have. I'm kidding DJ.

He was on the, I don't know what show is it, with that kid who reads speaks to the dead. 60 minutes. No. Tyler or something. Tyler Perry's healthy. He's my dear's house of past slides. He was on that speaking to someone who passed away, but anyway, please tell me your story of your glasses. I'm telling you.

Let's hear this class. This is the head story. I was 10 years old, prime gymnastics time. Who are you? Can you do a cartwheel? I was 10 years old, prime gymnastics time. Could you do a cartwheel? I was, I actually was, everyone at our gymnasium was encouraged to do a cartwheel athon for charity. As many as you could do.

As many, and people would, people would sign up, you know, and say, I'll pledge, you know, a penny per cartwheel or five cents per cartwheel. Whatever. Right. Well, I mean, considering, what are you 1000? Well, I mean, first of all, this is like 1980. So pennies were worth a lot. They were worth a lot more. They actually like, it's not bad. You could buy shit for a penny. pennies were a dollar. A dollar was five dollars. pennies were not a dollar. for a penny. Penny's were a dollar. Dollar was five dollars. Penny's were not a dollar.

But, um, right. But by the way, it was, it was how many can you do within, I think, 20 minutes or a half hour or something like that. Um, and I ended up, I did more than anyone expected, because everyone knew I was like an uncor-coordinated dork, you know, but I did, uh, say I did 150, right? You know, and so for, you know, a 10-year-old, that's a lot. That's a lot of car wheels. you know, but I did say I did 150, right? You know, and so for, you know, a 10-year-old. That's a lot. That's a lot of car wheels. I thought you'd never done one of my entire life. Yeah. So, no. Nope. I have a fear of diving forward into the unknown. So, when I got to school and I told everyone how many I did, ever all the kids were kind of mad because they had to pay so much money and they're like, okay, who knew I would do 150? And so then... Was it paid per kid?

Everyone pledged to... I assume it was adults pledging. Well, it was some adult, but it was also kids. You would go around and say, hey, would you sponsor me in this thing? Why would the kids do that? They're taking bank money. But then, so if like, collectively the school did like 5,000 and you had pledged a dollar you owe 5,000 dollars knowing whatever do that. No, no, they

know every person pledged a certain amount per cartwheel that you did and they would per person. So like they would not just do for as many cartels as the school does. It was like all sponsors scott only and I'll give a penny. Well, I was the only one in this gymnastics thing. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. So I came to school and I was like, hey, do you mind sponsoring me for this thing? God, what's this? Your idea?

Hey, give me a penny for the car wheel. I do, I swear I'll do one. I'm 50. But anyway, I couldn't do cartwheels all that well. I was really shaky on them. I basically would just like kind of like flop my body over. And so, so at reason, that's falling down. During PE at one point, everyone was like,

hey, show us how you do a cartwheel because you're so fucking good at him. Damn, everyone hated you. And I did him and they were like, you can't even, that's not even good form for these cartwheel. You can't even like get your legs up like completely over your head. My God. And then do you hit your glasses?

Yeah. Okay, so the glasses story, I was 10, I was 10 years old. How did we end up talking about the card? You asked about it. I don't know. You said can you do a part wheel? Can you read back the minutes? Oh yeah, you're right, I did.

Kevin's got it. So 10 years old, I'm riding my bike around. Kevin's riding everywhere we're saying. It's taking his hand as bleeding, I did. Kevin's got it. So 10 years old, I'm riding my bike around. Kevin's riding everywhere we're saying. His hand is bleeding, please go. It's like seven. I had just gotten mirrored sunglasses, which were in 1980, I think they were like a new thing. I thought mirrored sunglasses were the coolest.

They're so fucking cool. Oh my God, I'm trying to remember where I first saw them, but they were like, maybe I first saw them, but they were like maybe a movie or something, but it was like holy shit. It was like maybe a cool kid had like bad news bears or something. Yeah, I probably have like a Vators or like yeah, like literally every other sunglasses up until 1980 or so, you could see the person's eyes and it's disgusting. But these were like holy shit. You're humiliating. So I saved up my cartwheel money, and I paid all that to this kid. But I bought a pair of mirrored sunglasses, and they were expensive.

I think they were like $3 or something like that. And I bought them, and I was riding my bike around by myself, and I thought to myself, these are so cool, you can't see my eyes, it would be so cool to be like riding my bike with my eyes closed and everyone looking at me saying, hey, like obviously thinking, well, that's a kid with his eyes open.

And but they wouldn't know that my eyes are closed because I have these mirrored sunglasses. So I thought, I love kid logic. Like, why are you even thinking of me? I know. So I was like, you know what I should do? I should start at the other end of the street because my house was on one end of the street.

I should start on one end of the street and I'll, with my eyes open, I'll count, I'll count, how long it takes me to ride my bike from here to my house. And then I'll go back and I'll do it with my eyes closed. And it'll be so awesome because these idiots, these idiots, no one will know that I might, they'll be thinking to themselves, look, there's a normal kid with his eyes open. But like it would have been cooler to have people see their eyes were closed. But no one was around.

And no one, there was no one. There's no one here. It's a ghost town on my street. And that's why I think I felt like I was safe too, because there's no traffic or anything like that. So I go to one end of the street and I count down. It's like 33 seconds, right? I'm like, okay. So at 33, I'm going open my eyes and I'm gonna be right at my house. And so I go down to the end of the street, I close my eyes and I start pedaling. I'm like, one, two,

three, and then I don't remember anything. And I wake up in a neighbor's house. And in their house. In their house. I wake up in their house and they've dragged me into their house and I have written my bicycle into a car. And a parked car. A parked car, yeah.

And my new mirrored sunglasses have smashed into my face and my entire face is bloody And they're and they're like and it's my next door neighbor and they're I've never been in their house before so close I've never been in their house before this is the only time they've I've ever been allowed into their house They never let me in there for something. Never invited me or my parents. Do they have kids? Yeah.

Yeah. One year older than me. Yep. I had a neighbor like that too. Yep. And my other neighbors had kids, the exact same ages, those neighbors. And they were the best of friends. And they would make fun of me as I was walking to school.

Oh my God! That's brutal. So, Scott, yeah. This is like, so I, I want to say a dance at a row.

They take me to a hospital and I, I am logging. I get stitches for cosmetic reasons and it is so cool. So cool for me to agree. Six months, I have a fucked up face with stitches when I'm 10 years old.

Oh my God, six months. And everyone just makes fun of me. The same way that I did to you. Frankenstein, do the color, Frankenstein. Oh, I hope I can stand it. Stein? I love Frankenstein. I love that mean, mean jab from top.

You reminded me of two stories. One is that this new girl had moved to my school and she moved to my neighborhood and my friend and I went to go hang out with her one day and we went to her backyard to play and she wanted to play Blind Man's bluff. I don't think it was my other friend who wanted to play Blind Man's bluff.

Which I had. I thought that was called Blind Man's Buff. Cause the Blind Man's naked. Yeah, that's how we play it. Okay. That makes sense. I can't remember what that gave me. So I think what it is is that it's like kind of like Marco Polo on land.

Which is, some kids were playing that the other day when I was staying at a hotel and they were playing in the pool. That is a dangerous game. It doesn't make any sense. Is it crazy or do you know Polo? Well, especially with like kids running around at the pool and everyone's closing their eyes and their, yeah. My first concussion I think was from running along the side of the pool.

First concussion. And then you played the NFL for seven years. I've had, I think, two concussions. But this was, so this blind man's bluff, we were playing. So basically the new girl was gonna be the blind man. She closed her eyes, we run around and she has to find us by the side of our voice and run with her eyes closed. You have like tagged someone, right?

Yeah. And it was fun for about eight seconds then she ran full seam into a tree, like a big tree. And her nose just like exploded. Oh. It was insane. And then her nanny came out, which I had never known anyone to have one.

Yeah, it was a frandrusher. And so I was insane. But then my other friends, my back. Are you doing goat or are you doing friends? I'm doing goat. My other story I thought of, your story reminded me of, is that I went to Disney World when I was five with my family.

It was our big trip, my mom had saved up a lot of money to do this. And my mom, my grandma, my aunt, and my dad and my brother were there. And so my mom, my grandma, my aunt, when did something that women would want to do, I guess. And my dad took me and my brother. But when did the length of the bathroom?

Yeah, well, it was a nighttime. They went out or something. And my dad took me and my brother to see Ladybugs, the movie. With Ronnie Dangerville. Oh, okay. And we got there. And.

Women would not want it. That's a real man's thing. My dad was letting us do something that was for the kids. But we went in the theater, I remembered that, and then I woke up in bed, and that's all I saw four minutes of the movie and I woke up in bed and was like next to, I thought was my brother who was snoring

and I was like, shut up, shut up, shut up, and it was my grandma and I was in bed with my grandma. I didn't know what had happened at all, and it turns out I had gone to the bathroom by myself because my dad didn't, he didn't understand that he could just take me in the men's room and like watch and make sure that I was okay, so it was five. And then he let me go to the women's room

and I slipped on a wet floor and hit my head and was like completely unconscious. For like five minutes into lady books? I guess I went to the bathroom. How did your dad like the end of lady books? He loved the film. This is favorite film. No one, some woman came out like found my dad somehow

and then like they took me home and put me in bed. I mean, there have been multiple times. She may have taken you to the hospital? Yeah, there have been multiple times where I was put in bed with a head injury. Oh, really? The one where I fell by the pool, I was taken to the hospital, I was throwing up, I clearly had

a concussion and my god, a cat scan or whatever. And that's when they said she has two marks on her head and her brain. Like this is her second. She's too much of her brain. And my mom was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And then a couple of years ago, we pieced together that story and I was like, at Disney World, I probably had a concussion. Did the cops ever come to your house? No. Actually, yes. What? that story and I was like, at Disney World, I probably had a concussion. Ah.

Did the cops ever come to your house? No. Actually, yes. What? I made friends with a cop at one point. Not to keep friends with a cop. I made friends with a cop. Tell you what, why don't we take a break?

Okay. Let's take a break and I want to hear just friends with a cop. We're, I don't know the name of this show that you're listening to, but it'll be right back after this. Ah! the name of this show that you're listening to, but it'll be right back after this. Welcome back. We're here. It's Lauren Paul Scott and the same show you've been listening to. And right before the break, Lauren was going to tell us a story about a cop that she be friended. Yes, I got into multiple. It's really, I don't have to get into all the details,

but I got into multiple projects. Let's get on all of them, Deeds. Well, first of all, before you get the cops to worry, how many concussions lifetime? I would say to, there's a possibility for a third where I was jumping on the bed and hit my head on my radiator, and then my dad pushed my head together

with a towel while I was bleeding, and then I went to sleep. I have what I, not to interrupt your costume. But it's just held it. But it's reminding you of the head injury that I had. I we were over at my great on-towel. What the fuck is happening you guys? Wait, I know it's going to be a charm life.

I get a zero head injury. I know Katie Dippell once said that she had a concussion. She was not funny before the concussion and then got funny. Really? And I kind of like, maybe it happened to me. That's a good thing. Those two marks on your brain are the comedy parts.

It's where I lost all sense of reality. I remember that I did have one head injury in high school, but it was untreated. But I don't mind. See, okay? Well, I was, it was after a, it was my freshman year of high school, it was after doing a show, we did Oliver. And so me and my, are you, Bill Sikes?

No, I was a freshman, so there was no, no leaves for me. No, no, no. I did have a featured line. I was at the part of the band Lord. I used to remember the whole thing, but it was like a little speech that I got to give before the great song that everyone loves, umpapa. Oh God, umpapa. And so after the show, my friend Rick and I,

I had the dick. Scott, he was my friend. He was kind of a dick though. I'm not saying he was a dick. He just had a big dick. He had a big dick. He was not a chick. though. I'm not saying he was a dick. He just had a big chick. He had a big dick. He was not a chick. That's all I got.

So we did this. We tried to do this thing that the, we saw the dancers in the show do, which is where we're standing back to back. We'd link arms and then one of us flips over the other one. Oh, yeah. Right? Oh, yeah, yeah. No, we had never done training.

No, we're instructed by a choreographer. Oh, we saw it. So, he tried it, and I tried to flip over his back, and then we both just fell, and we both landed on the tops of our hips. Oh my God. And it was like, I can still feel like the impact. Yes.

It was so fucking feeling. It was like, cool. It was so, it was like a direct hit just on this concrete floor. Oh my God. And then we slowly got up and we're like, I don't feel anything, like that didn't hurt. And then people, I remember people looking at us like,

I did. You should not fall asleep. Like you should stay awake. And then we did. We just stayed awake the whole night. We went out after, we went to our hour Johnson and Sons. I know that that's part of it, but why? What does it prove by you staying away?

Or like what does it stop from happening? Well, if you go to sleep, then you can just go into dreamy time, bye bye, and die. Forever. But why? I don't know. Because the dream lord comes and gets you. But like if you have a concussion,

to me now, if you have a concussion, but you stay awake long enough, it goes away. Yeah, I guess so. I always thought it was to see if you had a concussion. but you stay awake long enough. It goes away. Yeah, I guess I always thought it was to see if you had a concussion. I don't know. I don't know why. I know, I know, I know. Well, it's fine.

Don't tell us. So, so my story with my head injury was, we were at my great aunt's house, which was in downtown LA, I remember, and. I love it. Because she has entry board. We love it. Sixth Street. We love it. We love it. We love it because she has entry board. We love it. Sixth Street.

We love it. We love it. We love it. Oh. It's a monster at the end. But because it was in downtown, we're not. Because it was in downtown, it was a,

I guess more, an area more prone to theft. So she had bars on her, the windows of her apartment. And they were, I remember they were white. Her apartment was brick. And they were, they were iron and they were white. And they were, they had like the points at the bottom and the top. Right. So my brother and I were, we were having a rubber band fight where we were like the most normal thing you've talked about. Where we were just, you know, like, you know, you pull back a rubber band. Okay, okay. And so you should rubber bands. So we were having a rubber band fight while my parents now that I am remembering it, my great aunt was not there, so it may have been she had

just passed away. I can't remember because I believe my parents were packing up her stuff. So either they either she had passed away or they were moving her. The perfect price. They never passed it up into dollars on labeled pillows. They may have been moving her to the home where she ended up. That's probably what it was. So we were in some bleakness got in there. My brother and I having a rubber band fight

and I shot mine and I went to go retrieve it underneath her window and I stood up really suddenly and the iron pointy bar went into my head. And I, my brother was like, hey, come on, keep going. I was like, I don't feel well. And I went in, I sat down, and I remember feeling my head going, ah, and then I looked at my hand,

and it was covered with blood. And I was like, and I- It is weird how your body that kind of shuts down. You didn't think anything was really wrong, and you're like, this hurts a little. And it's like, and I- It is weird how your body, though, it kind of shuts down. You didn't think anything was really wrong and you're like, this hurts a little. And it's like, obviously. Yeah.

So I told, I think my father was going to McDonald's at the time for burgers. And so I was like, mom, this happened. What? Bucky. Bucky. So I showed my mom and she was like, oh no. And I expected, when something like that happens, I expect you go to the hospital right away.

And she was like, well, your dad's coming back with me, so you know, wait here, put this pressure on it, I guess. So I'd like, we waited for him. And then I remember they were at my dad got back and was kind of like, well, we should eat first because we have, so, and I remember I got my burger with fries the whole and I had asked for no ketchup and there was ketchup on the burger and I was upset. But was it blood? But I remember just thinking like you won't even take me to the hospital and now I have

to eat this burger with ketchup all over it. But yeah, I had three, only three stitches I think from that. Oh my God. Yeah, when I think about the one time that I hit my head on the radiator, I had a babysitter over and I was bouncing on the bed with my brother. Oh, you're buying it. I just flopped right off onto the radiator and slapped my head. And then my dad came home right as that happens.

The babysitter was like, yeah, I gotta go. I was like, oh, I think. And then he just put pressure on it and I went to sleep. But I'm guessing it must have been a small, it might have just been a small niche. Maybe it was small, oh, I think. And then he just put pressure on it and I went to sleep. But I'm guessing it must have been a small, it might have just been a small niche. Like I mean, I'm sure he knows, right? I mean, I don't know. But yeah, very rare.

Tell us about this cop. Oh yeah, well, okay. I had multiple car accidents in high school. Two, two. But this, then, so the first time I was just driving around aimlessly with my friend Natalie, who's my best friend, to this day, and we would always just drive around listening to music, like once we had the ability to drive. So I had, was alone with a car, and we would just drive around, it was 4th of July, or

it was the 3rd of July, but my town does fireworks on the 3rd as well. But you think it was the 4th of July? Yeah, I think it was the fourth of July. I don't even know what song I was saying. Sadder. That's right. I got it. Um, and why would he wonder if it was the fourth in July?

He's in the park. It's, it couldn't be more clear. It's his day off. Obviously, that's why he went to the park. I think it was Groober, Dave Groober Allen, who said, maybe the most unpatriotic song of all time, I think it was Gruber Dave Gruber Allen who said maybe the most unpatriotic song of all time I think it was the fourth of July The third and the fifth But anyways, I ran a stop sign there was a big push to the left and I didn't see that there was a car at the other

Stop sign so I thought I was safe and just went and this was going Thank you And I crashed into the back right behind the passenger door and it spun around. Wait, is it they they t-bone you or I t-bone them? Oh, I see. So they were they went through the stop sign sign first. Yeah, but I was expecting it. Got it. And they spun around. And then it was an old man and a woman and the the woman had spilled her fruit salad over the man's lap. And he was also very kind. At the same time, my homeroom teacher

wasn't come. Yeah, this is like, when he was a jerk. It's a fruit salad. Then my homeroom teacher ran out of from behind a house where he was at a picnic and he grew up at the crash and then saw it was me. Whoa.

And he said, my dad's a lawyer. He's coming right behind me, don't say anything. I'm like, what the homero And he said, my dad's a lawyer. He's coming right behind me, don't say anything. I'm like, what the whole room teacher said? Yeah, my dad's a lawyer. Yeah, and he was at the picnic too. So he, the dad walked out, and then they, anyway, the cops that came there, I met for the first time, this really nice cop.

And so that'll happen. It was horrible. I would gotten a lot of trouble. I couldn't go out for the fourth of July. And it cost $3,000 fixed a car. Mm-hmm. And I just, I felt so bad. He blew it off. Yeah, I mean, I didn fixed a car. I just, I hate, I felt so bad. You blew it off.

Yeah, I mean, I didn't pay it. And then, I didn't have any money. Then in a couple weeks, so after I got the car back, like my car had basically become like totally smushed in the front. Then I got it back. And it was like,

I'm going to turn the front already in the back. So I discard my body. It was, right, my dad also had just given me his old car and like said you can have it officially. It was like a whole thing and I of course ruined it. And then like a couple was yours though. Yeah, true. It was mind to bring you do whatever you want with.

It was a cheap Cherokee. And then I got the car back finally and I was driving again with Natalie and someone ran a stop sign and hit me. Oh, try telling that though too. I know. Well, then I was crying a lot and when I was like, stop crying, it's not that I could deal. And I was like, but you know what I just got my car fixed and I was like, and I'm 16 and whatever.

And then the same cop showed up. Well, he's like Lauren and like that. Like a thing. Wait, he remembered your name or a GD. Well, I'm sure he had a lot, but he was like, it's you again. Right. And then that we had that whole thing and like that was like kind of funny But also like horrible for me and then like a month later

My dad was at a town and my mom and my mom hurt something in the basement and she came to her when she was like There's something that he's been so scared and I was like go to bed like I Was like just leave me alone just go to your room like I was like really not sympathetic I had old woman She's like maybe to an animal. Like, I was like, really not sympathetic. Hi, old woman. She's like, maybe it's an animal, I don't know. And then she called the police. And that guy showed up. Like I showed up.

Oh boy. And then he was like, oh my god, it's you again. And I was like, she thinks there's something in the basement. He gave me his trading card, which I guess a lot of police officers have. I think you're pardoned. His trading tops? It was like a baseball card to cops.

Yeah. I just never heard of that. It was neat. And he had all his like stats on the back like his family. Like how many muggers are you rest of? No, it'd be like how many kids he has, like what he's interested in, like whatever. What?

I've never heard of this. I like it. I mean, these things are really cool. Did you ever, sorry, did you ever see another one of these every in your life? No, but I never gotten that intimate with a cop. It was my third time meeting. I made someone, I'm gonna give them,

I tried to, if you made a cop, it's like, here you go. Collect them all. You've earned my card. I mean, it had the effect that it was supposed to have on you where you don't fear the police anymore and you're not like frightened by them. Yeah, no, it's just like funny.

Oh, we go, God, I can't believe this. I had an experience with a cop where is that all you have to say about the cop? Is that the only time you ever saw him? It goes three times, then I never saw him again. Never saw him again, you saw the card? Probably somewhere where I saved everything. I think his name is Larry, but I can't,

I'm not positive about that. I'd have to, I'd have to go through my files. I wonder where he is now. Me too, he hopefully still put patrolling Evanston. Mm-hmm. I had a weird experience with, there was, when I was that, actually I was 17, I was driving around by myself, and I had an experience where all of the cops in,

where I grew up, or it's a private town, you know, so it's like they, there are a lot of them, and they're constantly patrolling, constantly, you know, so it's like they, there are a lot of them and they're constantly patrolling, constantly, you know, pulling people over. So I have, but they're cops, they're not like security. No, they're cops, but it's like, it's like Burbank where, you know,

it's a private town and they have their own police force. I don't know. They have a weird rule in Burbank that I just learned that you can't put on a drag show in a public establishment. Really? And there's all like a law. I just saw a whole thing on Twitter about it. Interesting. Did somebody get in trouble for on a drag show in a public establishment. There's all like a law. I just saw a whole thing on Twitter about it.

Interesting. Did somebody get in trouble for having a drag? Yeah, the show was canceled. And then Daniel, friends, AC, I was talking about it and being like, we have to make a change. You think that would be one of those things where they're like, oh, there's this antiquated law,

but no one ever reported it. Right, it sounds like some old-fashioned thing that, yeah, but I guess somehow it would be like. Do you think it was a rival drag queen? I'll shut them down. Sounds like some old-fashioned thing that, yeah, but I guess somehow it was a rival drag queen. I'll shut them down. Sounds like a movie. Cut this part out. Cut this part out.

We'll save this later. We'll write this movie. Yeah. So there was a period of time where I was constantly being pulled over for various things. And I found out once later by a different cop that the reason I was constantly being pulled over is because I had a lot of stickers. Yeah. I heard about this. And one of them was a, had the Jamaican flag and was like one love. And, and, and people think you're a hippie then. People think that I was a possible. They're like, they were like, where's

all your pot? And I was like, I don't smoke, but I was like, I don't smoke, but I was like, why do you have that sticker on the back of your car? And so I took it off. I'm Jamaican. That's really funny. But I was, how dare you? My heritage. So I was 17 and I was in a, a couple of things happen.

I was in a band in high school. And I also, pretty cool. I also had a girlfriend where I, Whoa, whoa, whoa. I literally turned around for you. And I also had a girlfriend where I Really turned around for you Are you the kid that got the near sunglasses embedded in his face? No the question is are you the kid who wrote his bike with his eyes? Nobody knew that he was doing. Yeah, did you ever explain? Did I see the car and you were like,

I had my eyes closed. No, I never talked about the logic of why it happened. I just said that I got. You suddenly realized I made no sense. There are two things in my life that I never brought up the logic of why, that were like deep dark secrets, that I think years later I finally admitted.

There was that one and then there was the time. There was the time that I woke up and didn't want to go to school and took a red marking pen and drew dots all over my face like I had the measles and then forgot I did it. And when my mom asked me what was on my face, I didn't know what she was talking about. And that sold it so well because it was a genuine face, I didn't know what she was talking about. And that sold it so well because it was a genuine like, I don't know what you're talking about. That she was like, we need to take you to a doctor and we went to a doctor and the doctor looked at me

and took out a scrub brush and some soap and washed it off. Oh my God. And then you put an explain why it was on your face. And there, and, and my mom was like, did you do this? Did you do this? And I totally sold my brother out. I was like, I don't know. I don't know what, and so my brother got blamed for it

for years for like sneaking into my room and drawing on my face. Which, and he must have protested his innocence. Yes, yes. And he was probably protested his innocence. Yes, yes. And he was probably very convincing, but then everyone was like, damn, he's a good liar. Well, he was the bad seed of the family. So they assumed that he would do it.

Yeah. So, and I was kind of sweet. And, you know, and innocent little things. Did you remember, like, on the way to the doctor, what it was? Oh, yes. As soon as they like on the way to the doctor, what it was? Oh, yes. Yeah. As soon as they were like, look in the mirror, I was like, uh, oh, I'm in trouble here. But you just thought like it was too silly to explain.

I feel like I had moments like that as a kid where I just didn't want to explain myself. It's like, that's embarrassed. I knew I would be in trouble more than embarrassed. Yeah. So I just never said, so it was maybe 15 years before I brought up that it was me. Oh my God. So anyway, so I had a girlfriend and I was in a band. And so I was driving and I saw cops,

you constantly seeing cops pulled people over and I was making a left hand turn in front of these cops and I was like really nervous about it. I was like, oh, I got a drive right or else they're gonna pull me over because I've been pulled over three times recently. And I was so nervous I drove over the center of the fighter. And I was like, well, maybe they didn't notice

and started like trying to drive away as fast as I could and they of course got to me. But they did this thing and they would, I didn't know this when I was a kid, but they say, maybe we search your your car please like it's an order, but you can say no. Right. Right. So I didn't know that they they would always say it like an order so I was always like, yeah, of course.

Yeah, terrifying. Yeah. So they wankling. They went all throughout my car and I had just gotten back from a performance. So I had a ton of guitars in there and a ton of guitars. I had like four guitars. I had all of our equipment. What a great song by the way. You're all in stand.

You just go up. Go right back and forth. So the cops aren't his men. Just imagine it faster. So I'm sitting on the curb. I'm sitting on the curb and where's the bathroom? I've sitting on the curb and these cops are searching my car and they come back and they have a really stern look on their face and they go, okay, we have some questions for you.

Number one, where did all of that musical equipment come from? And I said, oh, I'm in a band. We just had a performance. Okay. Number two. Do you need a leafsinger? I remember three, can you listen to this? That's him singing. That fits my guitar work perfectly.

So then he says, number two, we found a pack of condoms in your glove component. So what? And it's a 12 pack. Why do you need that many condoms? Well, there's trying to embarrass you, aren't they? And I said, well, I'm in a band. And he said, my third question is, may I join your band?

And he's like, get out of here, kid. Oh my God. Wow. Why were you pulled over initially because you drove over the ride? Because I drove over the ride. It's like insane. Yeah.

I got pulled over multiple times in high school and I always cried my way out of it. I mean, I was truly terrified too, of like getting the ticket. I had to do it. I dated people who would say they cried to get out of it. Yeah.

I've never got not one as an adult though. Oh, yeah. I've had people get out of it as an adult. Oh yeah, no. I can't make myself cram. I'm usually just like, oh, okay, yeah. Well, what's the saddest thing that's ever happened to you? Okay, here I go.

Um. Well, look, we need to take a break. When we come back, we have a, we, one of us always brings a segment and I brought a segment. So let's take a break. When we come back, we'll have an exciting game that we're going to play. It's a story. So let's take a break when we come back we'll have an exciting game that we're going to play. You didn't tell anything? Nope. No, no. Do you want to tell anything? Well, what do you guys? Do you guys make you think of anything? I had a story about my brother getting a tip of his finger chopped off. Oh, we're getting a story about getting arrested from your from your finger. Look we got this was a moment in our

family of great sadness. I can't leave her in life. You're keeping this. Just it's a Lauren you're no better. Because I imagine it being like a look when we come back Paul's gonna tell his story. Please, please, Daddy.

Please, Daddy. I don't have to tell my story. I'm like, you daddy, wait for still. I just thought it was funny that I was thinking like, oh, I have a story in this topic. And then, you know, it always be, we have to take a break. Sorry, sorry. But we do have to take a break. How would you know?

We do have to take a break, but we have to. Let's come back and hear one of these stories. All right. We'll be right back with this show. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Welcome back. Scott, Paul, Lauren, and Aaron. Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, Aaron, and Paul was gonna tell a story about his brother getting his finger truck. It's my older brother. We were move. It was my brother, my father, and myself.

We were moving this ridiculous piece of furniture down into the basement from the second floor of the house. Well, we had a ridiculous about the furniture. Well, it was just like this crazy cumbersome cabinet. It was like this long. KKK. Hey, hold on a second. None of those parts. It was a triple C. So we must have gotten it down. One flight of stairs, okay.

And so now we were trying to get it down this down the stairs to the basement. And so my brother was in the front. My dad and I were on in the front party in the basement. And so my brother was in the front. My dad and I were on, uh, in the front party in the back. That's I just grabbed my body. And so we lost, we lost hold of it. And so it slammed against, it slammed my brother's hand against the wall. And it was just the very tip of his pinky. Like he could have been, he could have lost his hand.

And we're like crushed his hand. Oh. And so it cut off and like severed the tip of his pinky. Whoa. And he was screaming, there was blood spraying. And what was he screaming? Was he like, he was screaming, huh? Just a chance.

Just a chance. Just a chance. Just a chance. Just a chance. Just a chance. Just a chance. Just a chance. Just a chance. Just a chance. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it.

Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take it. Just to take And to this day has just like a weird, like little nub of a fingernail growing out of that. Oh yeah, like I have to cut it off.

Of the top of this finger. Oh! I know. Ah! Do you know what? I don't know if you ever has to trim it or if it's just probably, right? Because it's sort of like, you know, your pinky toe.

I mine has like just a little tiny toenail and it'll grow out. I got it. It's not her thing. I do remember, I had this friend in middle school who had her toenail. I don't know what happened to it. It must have been something like that.

It's something fell on it. It's something just black. Well, no, like it was only half down the like vertical. Oh wow. So it was like that thin in the middle of her toe. Oh. I know. I don't like it.

Tell us, did you make fun of? No, I just was like, that's interesting. No, with that, my head never forget it. That's interesting. Oh, cool. I hate, I think I just, I don't like hate feet where I'm like, you don't let feet touch me ever. Like some people like really hate feet.

Yes, did you ever Google Lauren Lackas feet? Oh, I'm like, did you? What he feets popping off, y'all? Who did it? Pop it off, we're sponsored by Wiki Peabat y'all. Pop it off. We're sponsored by Wiki feed by a couple. Oh, that would be great. You gotta keep them safe. Let's reach out to Wiki feed.

If I can get some money from Wiki feed, I would be glad because they could do. It's the least they could do. The suffering that I've worked in years. Disgusting. But I know what you mean. Like, I'm not repulsed by feet. I have friends who are, but they're great. Yeah, I don't think about them too much. I only want to see someone's for a long period of time. Because if they're clean, they've just had

some sort of liquid all over them. And so they're slimy. Slimy. Okay. But if they're dry, they're gross. Think about the brief window of time that your feet are clean. It's so small. It's so small. Yeah, I mean, I think the second my feet touch the floor, it's like when you drive a car off the road. Yeah, I hear something. Yeah.

And even if you're on a bed, and you've just like someone's just washed them, and you're on the bed and you're sticking your legs up. Someone's just washed them. You're on the bed, somebody's just washed them. Who washed your feet? I'm never mind. Veronica.

I'm missing something obvious. Mary Magdalene. And then she dried them with her hair. Hey, this is a good segue, by the way. So serious. It's from the scripture. And then she dried them with her hair. You said Mary Magdalene.

It's a good segue to the segment that I brought. This is a game. Famous whore. What was that license plate thing that personalized license plate you said to Lauren, you said I found your license plate? Oh, yeah. It was like something slut or something. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sexually harass you. I did. I mean to sexually harass you. I love it. I love it song. Bam. Bam.

All right, this is a segment. It's sort of based on a game that I played a couple of times very early in comedy bang-bang. But I adapted it here to actually be not anti-comedy in an actual game. OK. And this is a game. Do one of you or both of you bring up

your timer on your phone. Is that possible? Let's both do it. So this is a game called Duck Mary Kiss. Ooh. Duck Mary Kiss. All right, how much time? Obviously 60 seconds.

Obviously based on... Obviously 60 seconds. Obviously based on the popular expression, fuck Mary Kill. Ooh, Scott. This is duck, Mary Kiss. Now what I'm going to do, I'm going to do you one by one. And the person who's not playing.

Just spit all over the place. The person who's not playing if you would time it. If that was all right. I'll time it. And call time. Are you going to play in the game? Yes. You're going to see how many you can get in 60 seconds, okay? Okay.

And I am going to read names, and you were gonna tell me if they are a famous duck, a famous Mary, or a current or former member of Kiss. Oh, okay, great, okay. Okay, duck Mary Kiss. Duck Mary Kiss, do you wanna go first learn? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah, I love games.

Okay, so Paul let me know when to start and then say time when it's, and go. Donald. Duck. Correct, Simmons. Kiss. Correct, Howard. Duck.

Correct, J. Blige. Mary. Correct, Pickford. Oh, who, a kiss? Incorrect, Mary. Car. Car. Mary? Incorrect. Mary. Car. Um, car. Mary.

Incorrect. Kiss. Louis. Duck. Correct. Ace. Kiss. Correct. Poppins.

Mary. Correct. Bushroot. Duck. Correct. Stanley. Kiss. Correct.

The demon. Kiss. Correct. The demon. Kiss. Correct. Dark wing. Duck. Correct. Windstead. Duck. Incorrect. Mary.

Steam Virgin. Mary. Correct. Catman. Kiss. Correct. Ludwig Von Drake. Mary.

Incorrect. Duck. Vinnie Vincent. Kiss. Correct. Hewie. Duck. Correct. Huey. Do it duck. Correct. The onc warrior. Kiss.

How many members is it? Webby Vanderquake. Time. Okay. Let's see. You got one, two. That's fun. Three, by the way.

The other person should be counting. Because now I have to remember. Okay. Let's see. You got one. Sorry to let you down. No, no, no, see. We got one. No, no, I should have said that. One, two, three, four, five, six, wait, wait, one, two, three, four, five, six. Leave all of this in. Seven, eight, oh, you, you counted three wrong. Okay, so let me count how many I did. One, you got 18.

Okay, so you don't have enough to keep going. I believe I do. Let me see. Yeah, I have enough. Okay, all right. Paul, are you ready? Yes. Remember duck, duck, Mary kiss.

All right, let me know when and Ryan, you can, or sorry, I'm keeping check of the, oh, know when and Ryan you can, or sorry, you just keep it over there. I'll keep, I'm keeping track of the, oh, hey, I thought you were Ryan. That was weird. Kevin, you can say how many wrong, okay. All right, okay, all right. And you can pretend to be Ryan.

I don't have to keep track. I think I should. Do you want to keep? Isn't it easier? Cause you know how many there are? No, yeah, I will. Yeah. Oh, okay.

Sure, so just let me know how many are wrong. Okay, here we go. So just keep time. Yeah. Oh, okay. Sure. So just let me know how many are wrong. Okay. Here we go. So just keep time. Yeah. Set go McDonald Mary correct launch pad duck correct space man Kiss correct gizmo Duck correct heart Mary correct daffy duck correct starchild Kiss correct poopy face tomato nose.

Duck. Correct, Colic. Colic? Mary. Incorrect, kiss. Murphy. Mary. Correct, Dewey.

Duck. Correct, the fox. A kiss. Correct, Yakki Doodle. Duck. Correct, singer. Mary. Incorrect, kiss. Murphy. Singer. Mary.

Incorrect. Kiss. Murphy. Oh, I said that one freely. Uh, the kiss. Correct. Fair. Fair?

Mary. Incorrect. Kiss. Lou Retten. How many people are, I know. Mary. Correct. Space ace.

Kiss. Correct. Flinhardt Glongold. Duck. Correct. St. John. Mary. Incorrect. Kiss. Jesus. Wilson. Mary.

Time. All right. Everyone I got wrong was Kiss. How many people are in Kiss? A former member's anchored member. How many wrong? Four wrong? And I did one.

Think, boom, think, boom, think, boom, think, boom, think, boom, think, think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think think I think I think I think think I think I think I think I think I think think I think I think I think I think I think think I think I think think I think I think I think I think I think

think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think I think think I think I think I think I think I think

I think think I think I think think I think I think I think I think think I think think I think I think think I think is first. Actually, you know what? We'll play it by playing games with Jimmy Parto rules. Whoever buzzes in first and you buzz in, but I sang your name. Okay. Whoever buzzes in first will get the chance to answer. And if they are right, they win. And if they are incorrect, they, the other person wins. Okay. Ready? Here we go. You don't say that one person loses. That's very positive spin. Okay, here we go. Ready? Fill more. Paul. Paul. Duck. Correct. You are the winner. God damn it. Wow, and that is of course duck Mary kiss. It finally pays off that I memorized my own name. I had a hard time thinking of what to say right then. Yeah. Well, that was fun.

Yeah, did you have fun? Yeah, I love games. Games! Games! The musical fruit. Games, games, the musical fruit, the more you play, the more you tune! Okay, okay. All right, we should wrap it up.

Why? Yeah, I gotta go somewhere. I'm gonna go somewhere. I'm going to Korean spa. Are you? Oh, nice. I'm gonna go somewhere. I'm going to Korean spa. Are you? Oh, nice. I'm gonna Korean. Hold on, right now.

Are you really going there? Yep, for the war. Okay. I got drafted. Cool. Bye. Oh, bye. I'm gonna mail a Jeep back to myself.

Ah, I remember that. A Jeep Wrangler. Like the type. Oh. Like your car. I had fun. I had fun. I had fun.

Nice seeing you guys. I wasn fun. Nice seeing you guys. I want to listen to you guys. We'll see everyone next time, right? That's right. We will. On this show. Which has a name. And you should just read your, whatever.

You know what it's called. You know what? You tell us what it's called. Yes, seriously, tell us. Bye. Bye!