Threedom - Threevisiting: Dog Key Party

Episode Date: April 16, 2024

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss Billie Eilish, Star Trek and gray hair before playing No More Jockeys. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail at HAGCLAIMS8.com. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Two young fathers are shot to death outside an iconic Utah restaurant. I said, your dad has been hurt really bad. The grief was disorienting for those left behind until one choice changed everything. I just remember writing this letter and it wasn't me writing it. Can a personal decision shape generations? We're all falling for this guy's trick. I'm Amy Donaldson. Season two of The Letter, Ripple Effect,

premieres on April 16th. Follow us at TheLetterPodcast.com or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, I'm feminasty Erin Gibson. And I'm homosexual Brian Safi. And we're the co-hosts of The Attitudes Podcast. Where we talk about LGBT plus issues, gender issues and pop culture.

Probably with much less respect than they deserve. Look, it's a wild world, and we want to help you laugh at it. Plus, we discuss everything going on in our lives. Like, what do you do when your husband accidentally starts a fire in a dumpster? And the best armpit-slapping techniques to get rid of the bags under your eyes. Thanks for the advice, Mom. And of course, how to spin a wig around to achieve a brand new look. Ah, stunning. So if you're a fan of high heel shoe chairs or have a crippling fear of hot air balloons,

but also believe in social justice, then this show's for you. Listen to Attitudes anywhere you get your podcasts. Freedom! Freedom! Help me! Freedom! Help! Murder! Freedom! Oh my god, did you hear that? Yeah, I think someone's being murdered. Someone was yelling that they were going to murder someone, or help? I just heard, oh they want help with a murder!

Help! Murder! It's gotta happen! No! I'm not gonna help that person. I wouldn't help with a murder. Oh, no. Oh, I'm not going to help that person. It's going to happen. No. I'm not going to help that person. I wouldn't help that person either. I get by with a little help from my friend. Can we sing that on the show?

Murder. Welcome to Freedom. I'm Scott. I'm Paul. I'm Lauren. And big updates since our last show. Big ups to dates. Big ups to dates. Big ups to dates.

What is that? March 3rd, March 4th. If you're on a date, if you're eating a date. Eating a date? What are you, Army Hammer? Oh, shit. What? That guy's a carnival.

What? He's a carnival? He's a carnival. He's a great time. Someone asked a question for Croc Talk. Oh, really? Someone asked a question for Croc Talk. Oh really? Someone asked a question,

I said it would be revealed on the next episode. Okay, did you say it to us? Yeah. No, I said it to that person. Oh okay, okay. Because I was like, we don't know this. You're having outside conversations with people? About us?

This was on the most social of medias. The social network? Yes. You know what's cooler than? Being cool. Being a million cool. Someone asked about, what are these called? Jibbits?

No, straps? The straps. Jibbits. Someone asked, do you keep the straps up or do you keep the straps in the back? Right. Straps in the back, straps in the front, party in the front, straps in the back.

That's right. And I said all will be revealed on the next episode of Croc Talks. So I guess what I'll reveal right now is that you keep the straps in the front. I keep them in the front. Although I will say when I first got them, I was like, I should probably have these in the back

in order to have more security. Cause what if I fall on my Crocs? But you can't slip them on when they're on in the back. You have to do a little step. You have to then hook them on to your heel. Yeah, and it just gets rid of the whole purpose of the comfort of Crocs. The whole purpose of the comfort of Crocs is that you could just place your foot idyllically inside. Here's what I think is so crazy.

We're nominated for an Amby and we haven't gotten free Croc shit yet. What the hell? And you're just sitting there waiting to even order yours. I want free, baby. First of all, congratulations. Now I want free. Congratulations to Conan. But I, when I learned about the podcast, the podcast academy,

it's like, how many fucking hours of this have I devoted my life to? I know. You should at least get a lifetime achievement award right off the bat. Oh my God, well I had to- I would like to hear from the podcast academy, like would you like to be a member?

You should be. Yeah, shouldn't we vote? I guess what I liked about the category that we're in is that there's a lot of podcasts that I love in the category that I wouldn't say are like the most known podcasts. So I really appreciate that. Conan did get in there because of course

a celebrity podcast is going to sweep the nation. We got groceries, we got Culture Kings, we got Yeah, yeah. It's some good company. A lot of stuff, I can't remember anything else. It's good. TIG, I like that show. Comedy Bang Bang.

Oh no, that wasn't nominated. Oh, I'm so sorry. Well that show's a mess, honey. We have to stop talking TMNT on CBB, not nominated. Sam Hawkins wasn't nominated. Well, what about newcomers? Come on. No, it's-

Newcomers wasn't nominated. I was proud to be nominated with the two of you. I wish we could go to the- I wish we could go to the Ambies. Oh, I wish we could go to the Ambies. Do you think the statue is a big headphones? Do you think the statue is a big headphones? Do you think the statue is a big headphones? Big headphones?

You think it's a big gold headphones? I wanna have big headphones. I think there's all these things trying to do their own podcast awards and they all like burnout in a couple of years, much like this one probably will. But I- Oh, I think when our show.

Much like this show will probably will. I'm still not convinced he's not. Like the I Heart Radio Awards? I think when our show Like the I heart radio awards Yeah, or there was a couple a couple years ago that tried for a year or something But I think the Grammy should just take over it. It's recorded media. They already do comedy albums Grammys What do you think you're doing not taking over it? Yeah, I'm Grammys. Come on Grammys. Oh my god speaking of the Grammys I just watched the Billy Eilish documentary, which I loved. I still haven't watched it yet, but I wanna see it. Do they, does her mom

uh, uh, uh, uh, ever- What? Uh, uh, stammer? Ever go to the Between Two Ferns set in it? Does that happen in the movie? Well, she was in the Between Two Ferns movie and then got cut out, unfortunately. Oh, cause I didn't know that.

What? As herself? Yeah, she was great. Yeah, no, as Zach's sister. She played Zach's sister. What? Oh, that scene. That scene that got cut out. Oh my god. Wait, this is so crazy. Okay, wait, little backstory because there's a whole subplot in the movie that got cut with Zach's family. With Zach's family, yeah. But I didn't know Billie Eilish was in it, eh? And I probably didn't know who she was at that time because I'm really late to figure it out. No one really knew who she was because she was telling us all,

I'm Billie Eilish. No, Billie Eilish isn't in the movie, her mom is. I know. Her mom's in the movie. Her mom's in the movie, yes. So she was saying, I'm confused. She was saying like, my daughter is doing the music thing right now

and we're seeing how it's working out. And we're like, oh, that's very cool for her. Oh yeah, well, so that was 2018 that we shot that. And that's when the documentary is taking place as well. Oh, OK. So I just wondered if they ever. Yeah, she does not mention anything that the mom is up to. But the mom is very supportive and like around a lot. She was cool. She's awesome.

The parents are both very cool. They seem tight. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. And the family is so cool. And I didn't I've like heard some of her songs, but I just never really explored the whole storyline there. So I just put it on. And her relationship with her brother is so cool and sweet.

And they all seem great. Oh my God. And they were like, they were homeschooled. And I'm like, I honestly have never seen a story where homeschooled kids have turned out so fucking cool. Like they were like- So far. Like, not just cool, like easy to hang out. They're like cool.

Like they know fashion and they're like- Like they smoke cigarettes and they wear leather jackets. I just love their dynamic. And I also listened to them on Smart List, that podcast. Have you heard that podcast? No. It's Jason Bateman- Is it up for an ambi? Probably is.

It's Jason Statham? What? It's Jason Bateman. Jason Bateman what? Isn't that his name? That's Jason Bateman. Is it up for an ambi? It probably is. It's Jason Stata? What? Jason Bateman. Jason Bateman what? Isn't that his name? That's just as weird. Jason Bateman, Will Arnett, and Sean Hayes host a podcast called Smartless where they

interview, they each bring, every episode, one of them will bring the guest and they surprise each other with whoever it is. And it's a big star. And everything- It's always someone from Rested Development. It honestly, a lot of times is. Jeffrey Tambor again. But they had Billie Eilish and Phineas on the show,

and it was really interesting. That's kind of what got me excited about watching the documentary, because they seem really normal. Yeah, she... The mom, I believe, was either Second City or Groundlings or something like that. So yeah, she was great, and she was really funny in the thing. They seem really fucking good. We ended up having to cut it.

And then by the time we cut it, it was like, oh, she's Billie Eilish's mom. Do we cut it? But of course we. Yeah. And also, are we going to put in the credits parentheses, Billie Eilish's mom? No, but also like, damn, if if we had known who Billie Eilish is, she could have been in the movie. But oh well. Do they get it in the documentary?

Do they get into the fact that her hair is green? Because I don't know, she, like you can see the roots are green, but she dyes it black. Right, they pixelate her hair the entire movie. So you can't tell. Pixar? Pixar animates her hair the entire movie. Oh man, what about that Pixar movie, Foll where it's just the hair the interior life of your hair

I've never seen something like that before. What did they do? I don't know. It was like... It was grandmotherly almost. Oh shit. I don't mean it in a bad way. It was very comforting. It's not cool, okay?

Someday you're going to be a grandma. Strike it from the record. God willing you'll be a grandma. Oh my god, I found two white hairs on my head last night. Oh my god, yours are someone else's. They were just flying down from the ceiling. They were cobwebs. On my head. They were just flying down to the ceiling. They were cobwebs. They were just resting on my head.

Well, actually, I've never dyed my hair my whole life until a year ago when I did it for this random job, which I've complained about on here. Yes. And which, by the way, never paid off. And I, but then when I, so throughout that process of trying to get my hair to not be red anymore, I was going to this colorist a lot.

And she, she at one point goes, you only have a few gray hairs. And I was like, I didn't know how to, shut up. And then I never really thought about it again. I kind of just assumed they're, you know, blend in. I never really noticed them, but then I started noticing white hairs. Oh.

And I pulled them out because I couldn't believe, are they really white? I have to put it up against something black. And then I pulled them out because I couldn't believe are they really white I have to put it up against something black Oh, and then I pull it out. What do you have that's what do you have that's that black my medicine cabinet, so I And as a black back so they put it black back put it up against that I was like white is night Or white is day the very opposite of this medicine cabinet why does day I mean they people's why does light but now what you should also do is pluck out one of your normal hairs I did that too okay thank God now you're bald

He just kept alternating. I only had four hairs. I never, they look really thick though. Cartoon, yeah. They do look really thick. Kulep at gray hairs ever since she was 20, I think. That I think is cool. Like there's like, I know a girl who had them in, had gray hair in high school

and she started letting it just go gray. And then it's awesome. It's like the feeling of what's this process gonna be like is the part that's kind of weird of like. That's always interesting to the people who just decide to do it, like Steve Martin and. Well now Rob Hubel with his white hair, which I think looks great.

No, but I mean, I guess what I mean is the people who are just like, I'm never even gonna attempt to dye it. And it's gonna be great for me for show business. Yeah, Steve Martin, weirdly, you never really think about his hair being white. I mean, it was it was gray, though, when he was young and super popular. That's right. Yeah.

What's so strange about it? And like, but even when he was in Father of the Bride, he's not that old. Yeah. And he but he has pure white hair. Yeah. Even that he like he when he took over dad roles, you can kind of go like, oh, OK, that makes more sense. But it's just even weirder that in the mid 1970s, he's 20 whatever, and he's got totally gray hair, and the most popular Canadian in the world. And we're like, yeah, I get it.

He wasn't ridden out of town on a rail. He wasn't burned at the stake. People allowed him to be who he was going to be. I love that. Right. Well, I just don't, I never wanted to dye my hair because it feels like too much work. And now I'm like, so am I gonna become someone who dyes their hair later? Right. Right. Well, I just don't I never wanted to dye my hair because it feels like too much work. And now I'm like, so am I going to become someone who dyes their hair later?

Right. Right. But maybe I will. I wonder if I will. I can't tell. Why would you dye it? Well, mine are pretty easily disguised at this point. But there are some silver threads amongst the gold. I will say the very last year of the Comedy Bang Bang TV show, they had to there's a little patch that they had to like put mascara in or whatever.

Well, because maybe it looked weird on camera, like to have like a little. Well, also just like every other part of my hair was blonde and then it was just like a white streak. And you asked them to do it. And he ended up like, can you please make it that look like this? I know you're gonna say something

and I wanna just say one more thing. I know you're gonna say something. So I wanna get in say one more thing. I know you're going to say something. So I want to get in there before you. First of all, it's idyllic out here right now. You've been quiet for too long. I know you're going to say something. By the way, we're outside again and the temperature is marvelous. It feels amazing.

It's perfect. This woman I am working with, she has what I've never heard of before called a... VD. I love it. VD. She called it a blonde birthmark, which basically is her hair grows blonde. It looks like highlights, like thick highlights. Like she has like patches of blonde hair and the rest of it is dark brown.

Is it possible she's lying? No, I mean, I don't think she is. She's a hairstylist too. So she was like, she joked that she's like, yeah, I'm choosing to look like I'm in the 2000s. Cause it's like, it's a chunky highlight basically. Right, hey, that helicopter's back. He's looking for someone, he's looking for someone,

he's looking for someone, helicopter. But it looks cool, and it's awesome to have a natural thing like that. Yeah, I like things like that. I'm so glad you said that before whatever Paul was going to say. I didn't want to forget. Well, my, I'm going gray. And your butt hair?

Does your potty hair go gray? Like you don't know. Yeah, of course it does. Okay, I don't know. Cracked yourself up. It's because he's got laser ball hair removal. Yeah, of course it does. OK, I don't know. Crack yourself up. It's because he's got laser ball hair removal. LDR. Laser ball hair removal.

But I know it's more noticeable, depending on I've noticed from from doing all these fucking Zoom shows, what type of background I'm in front of. Oh, so we do our show. We're we're we both use a black background, Lauren. Yeah. Is it your very? Yeah, we're both in front of our medicine cabinet. I stand by the thin side of my medicine cabinet.

But it's much more I notice that it's much more pronounced there than it is other play. Like if I do a show just to get with no backdrop behind me, it's not as noticeable. Right. But we had- Do you care? No, I don't.

I don't mind it. I mean, it's weird because it's only recently that I've begun to look at pictures of myself and say, and see like, wow, I am aging. you know, like I look like it's like, I see aging man. I see now what I think other people see when they other men see when they start dying their hair and stuff like that, where it's like, oh yeah, like what?

Buy Porsches, getting a divorce, marrying a 22 year old. All these things you did yesterday. Getting prostate cancer. Jesus. Jesus got prostate cancer. He was considerably younger, he was 32. That's why everyone's gotta check your prostate

and how old you are. You only lived for another year. Check someone else's if you can. Get your finger in the butt hole. We did a, when we had Thanksgiving, quarantine Thanksgiving, we were outside. Oh God, remember that? And I took a group photo of the five of us.

Who? Just be clear, I wasn't there. I was not there. Yeah, these guys. You said the five of us as if we were. Oh, sorry, yeah. It was not us five. Yeah. I didn't was not us five. Yeah

And Because of because we were outside in the light there, you know, there was sunlight behind us. My hair looks completely white It's wild. It was really surprising My grandma has dyed her hair forever Various colors, but throughout my whole life, it's been like blonde. But then during quarantine, she hasn't gotten it done. And now her hair is pure white. And I was so happy to find that out because when I get older, I want to have pure white hair.

That pure white hair is, that's the best. It looks so good. And Patrick Brewster's hair is so good. She let her hair go fully gray or best. It looks so good and Patrick Brewster's hair is so good. She went, she let her hair go fully gray or whatever. It looks really nice on her. Look at how nice her hair is. Because when you're like 80 and it's dyed that super bright red. You know it always looks.

Well that's because you can see the scalp. You know it starts to get. I don't know. I mean I think these are individual choices for people. When old people do that, yeah, I'm like, yeah, fucking go for it. Like, you know you're not fooling anyone. You know what I mean? No, I will say like... I'm 22! You look at pictures of Paul McCartney and...

He did it for way too long. He's, I mean, he's still doing it. Oh, I don't think of him as someone who... He's letting some gray show now. He has the plastic surgery and he's, yeah, and he's letting some gray show, but it's like... He has plastic surgery, his face is... But he just looks like a grandma to me. Anytime I see a picture of him, I'm like, look at that young face, 30 year old.

Well you know what though, oh I do see that he seems to have, oh, there's like some new images that I haven't seen. Wait, some new images of Paul McCartney or something? His Twitter picture is like really... He has Twitter. Why is he on Twitter?

He's fixed his chin situation. Hey everybody, fix me chin. Fix has Twitter. Why is he on Twitter? He's fixed his, um, his, his chin situation. Hey everybody, fix me chin. Fix me chin. You know, there, I, there was a, there was probably a five year period in my third, maybe late thirties to early forties where I could finally grow a full beard and it wasn't gray. And I look back at that period with fondness of like, oh man, I never knew what I had, you know? Sometimes I would shave it. But it's so interesting because I feel like from the female perspective,

it's just not a big deal for a guy to go gray. No, no, of course not. Like I just kind of think like, it looks good, but it's not a problem. Yeah. Right. And then, and often it does look good on women, but it's just that we are conditioned to think that we're not supposed to have that. Like, but I feel like everyone I know who has gray hair,

it looks good. Yeah. No, it's never, I don't think it's a matter of looks. It really is. Like, this, if you allow your hair to be natural, it could alter your entire life. Right. If you're a woman.

Right. It can absolutely affect your career, which is demented. Right. Right, right a woman. Right. It can absolutely affect your career, which is. Right. Right, right, right. Well, I think I think for a for certain men, it could affect their career too. Like Paul McCartney. Paul McCartney. Exactly. If people knew that he was an old man, would anyone listen to his music?

We should cut this out because I don't want to I don't want to take him down. Well, he listens to this. We will definitely cut this out. Thanks for listening. Let me turn on the old iPod. To the freedom. They interrupt Lauren too much. He would. He's one of them.

Is that Team Lauren or just Team Anti-Scot and Paul? That's Team Lauren. What's the diff? I also want to say that last week. How many things in total is it that you want to say? I know, what the fuck, you have a to-do list? I had two things. And by the way, when I had a thing, you thought it was crazy that I said it.

No, just the fact, I waited until there was a natural lull. No, there wasn't. You cut off Paul. There's no such thing as a natural lull. I didn't cut you off. I don't care. Say what everyone is saying. Cookie.

La la la la boo doo da da. So last week, Kulap and I got the hell out of town. Oh my word. Where'd you fucking go? We went down to Orange County and we got an Airbnb and I like looked into like what's the safest way to do it and you can't really go to a hotel. I wish you could go in safely.

Because a hotel like has a bunch of people there in the common areas. I know what a hotel is. Oh, oh yeah. Jesus. You pay, you essentially rent a house for a day. It's like a house. Yeah, you got a house. So we got a house and we made sure that they cleaned it like a day before we ever got there. And how did you make sure of this? That's part of like on Airbnb, the thing you can request. But he also went in and licked all the surfaces to see if it tasted like Clorox. Yeah, I was like, a little...

Smart. Oh. But... They won't install nanny cams just for you to watch them clean. And it's not an old video that they're just showing you. No, of course not. No way! It's not a loop of ten seconds.

It's live, it says so in the corner. But anyway, I say that just to say that we went down to Orange County. You're having a great time. And it is so different down there. Oh, with the beliefs? With the... Oh, with the beliefs? With the masks and stuff like that.

Oh my god, I know that just from following Real Housewives of Orange County ladies, because they just go out to dinner all the time and they don't give a shit. Well me and the Real Housewives of Orange County were out to dinner and we... God! That's why I went down! and they don't give a shit. Well, me and the real housewives of Orange County were out to dinner and we- Scott! That's why I went down. You shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't have done that. You shouldn't have done that.

Coronavirus. Coronavirus. No, like we took our dogs out for a walk the first night we were there and we both put on our masks and- Scott means he and Coolab, not us, three of us. Just to be clear, I wasn't there. I haven't there.

I haven't gone anywhere, done anything cool. We're walking around the neighborhood and zero people wearing masks. And in fact, people glaring at me. Like, what the fuck are you even doing? Like you're so annoying. Yeah, like, come on, buddy. I can't, I can't, I can't.

It was crazy. I won't. And then I just, you know, I grew up in Orange County and so I just started noticing like the asshole, asshole-ish vibe that's there all the time. And this is the thing that I've hated ever since I grew up there, which is everyone there, not everyone, but like 50% of the people buy huge trucks.

And when they're on the freeway, they zig in and out going 90 miles an hour on the freeway. There's a point when you like go down to Disneyland that you hit the five where you're suddenly in Orange County and you see just all these trucks like zooming around and getting mad at people and- Don't like it. And that it just like I was like Oh boy, this place really sucks I can't believe that when you drive into Orange County the sign says welcome to the OC bitch Government sign

Government sides are green and white. Yeah Anyway, so but we had a good time and it was good to get away. That's nice. For a few days and we went to the beach and that was nice. Very nice. Oh, that sounds amazing. Yeah.

I have been wanting to do that. I don't know if I will, but. Go to the beach? You could probably go to the beach. I think I could. We live near one. No, honestly, I haven't seen the beach. I saw it for one split second during all of this whole past year, but I haven't been on the sand.

I saw it, but I need to. I've been having the urge to sit on the beach, but it just feels like a big fucking hassle. To go to the beach? You know what though? We can't predict how the people in the parking lot are gonna. Well you're outside so it's better. And yeah, no one on the beach had masks other than us and one family.

But if you're far away from everyone. But you're outside, you're far away from everyone. But I will say, Georgia, we got onto the sand and it activated, so this is my dog, Georgia. It activated something in her that she started like jumping around and so excited, just to be on sand not because we were buying ocean or whatever But I think something about the tactile like being on sand she like remembers running around in it or something like that So she started she was just so fucking and we're like what is going on and then she just started running

Oh my god, and I was was the sand hot no no no no running. Oh my God. And I was. Was the sand hot? No, no, no, no. But it was she just loved it and had a memory. She was yelping and pointing at her paws saying, I would be out here. And then she's like in a bun and she's like hot dog.

I'm a hot dog. No, but she was so fucking excited to be on the sand. And then when we got down to the ocean, like both of the dogs just wanted to run around and like. Was it a dog beach? In the surf. Did you have them on a leash or how? Well, we had them on a leash,

other than at one point when everyone was gone, we were like, all right, let's see what happens if we take George off the leash. God, I'm so nervous. Well, yeah, but she's really obedient, by the way. So she like ran around. She's morbidly obedient. She ran around so excited to be able to run

as fast as she could. And then at a certain point, It's so cute. At a certain point, she poked her head above a little tiny wall to look at something. We were like, oh no, okay, come back, Georgia. And she's immediately came back and like wanted to be back on the leash

because she likes wants to be on the leash with us. But it was just, it was really nice. Freedom, yeah. Show us sub. We're doms. That's every dog human relationship. That's right. My dog, like my dog is pretty obedient in that sense.

Like she'll sometimes almost dash out of the yard if she sees something and if the gate is open or something like, and then, but if I scream like really like forcefully she immediately turns back and comes back. But I just feel like the only time I've ever been around water with her, it was, I had just gotten her neutered or whatever. And she, right, isn't that what it is? Spade. Spade? I think neutered is for... I thought cats got spades. I thought it was

David's spade. Oh god. I thought neutered was males and spade was females. That's what I thought it was too, but I could be wrong. I've always been confused about that. Well, whatever it was, she had stitches and she had a cone around her neck. Is she a snitch? Yeah. And she had Conan around her neck. I'm going to Google this because I want to know the answer for when I later speak of this. But she had a big dinner. The Amis acceptance war. Thank you. All the freedom listeners, by the way,

Spain means this and neutered means this. But she was I was like at a friend's place and I had brought her and then she was still a puppy and she jumped right in the pool with her cone on and it was like really chaotic. And she was just swimming and she was like, I had to like get in the water and get her and it was so crazy. Well, that's yeah.

And that's all I've ever done with her. So I don't know. Our previous dog, Rocky, I think when the first week we got him, he accidentally fell into a pool that we were visiting and then never wanted to be in a pool or anything and and and so it's it was such an interesting thing when we went to Palm Springs with some friends and we had a pool and Georgia just got like activated by it and we were throwing a football around and this is before I knew that she loves playing ball like we just didn't have any balls you know yeah we had no idea but we were throwing a football around, and this is before I knew that she loves playing ball. Like, we just didn't have any balls

and we didn't really know. Yeah, we had no idea. But we were throwing a football around, me and my friend, and she started getting so jumpy to the point where she dove into the pool to get the football. And we were like, oh, I think Georgia likes balls. And then we set up like a huge obstacle course for her

where she like ran onto some mats and then would jump into the pool in order to get the ball that we threw and stuff. And it was to the point where I just hadn't really known, we'd only had her for like three months or whatever, but I was over at a party at another friend's house and you could take babies and dogs and so I took Georgia. And we were just sitting there watching a movie.

You could take babies and dogs to the party? To the party, yes. You can't take them from me? You can't take them from me. I thought it was like, yeah, I thought it was like. I will just say that spaying is girl, neuter is boy. But I had a cat first in my life, and I got her spayed, and then I felt like everyone always said

they neutered their dog, so I always thought it was. That's where I got that. Oh, you thought it was by species. Oh, I see, I see. Oh, interesting. I see. No, this is a party where you go, Can you put your dog in a fishbowl and You hear that?

You can take whatever one you want and do whatever you want. You take a fish or a dog at the end of the night A dog key party is a funny idea Donkey party. Yeah, you put like the donkey party. What? Donkey show party But then you have to you take home somebody else's dog. Your dog for a night. Do you think the donkey show business is gone completely under with this whole COVID thing? Oh no, I never even thought about that!

All the sanitary restrictions on them now. Yeah, that sucks dude. What is the donkey show? A lady would have sex with a donkey? Um, and then was it also where like someone comes out and like pops the ping pong balls on their pussy? And then there's the corn on the cob. That's part of the donkey show? I thought that was a separate show. I thought it was a separate show.

I guess I just felt like donkey show kind of just implied a bunch of depraved acts. They probably had to adapt over the years. I'll Google it. Okay, good, please. Save it for the acceptance speech though. In closing. But we went over to my friend's house in Georgia,

like kind of was wandering around and then very like, hopefully and expectantly had found, this is at Mike Hanford's house by the way, and he plays tennis. The reason I say that is because- Shout out to donkey shows, which are a show where a woman has sex with a donkey, but however it might be a myth.

Ooh. She found one of Mike Hanford's tennis balls and had it in her mouth and came up. In his underwear drawer? Yeah. And it wasn't a tennis ball. He puts it in his underwear. She ignored the note that said,

get out of the state of my drawer. I thought he puts tennis balls in his underwear to make it seem like he has balls. To make it seem like he has them. We all know he is a nutless wonder. Not to make it seem like they're bigger. I don't think so. He was older than me, so I wasn't getting involved. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. it doesn't affect anything. We did say the phrase one nut wonder. Yeah to him No, I don't think so. He was older than me. So I wasn't getting involved But she found a tennis ball and it was very cute and I was like damn Georgian loves tennis balls Well that what is the origin of it because I grew up knowing nutless wonder Well that what is the origin of it because I grew up knowing nutless wonder Wonder well not much wonder is Really it's it's it's sarcastic like you're not a wonder Shout out by the way to anyone who only has one testicle or no testicles. You're doing great.

It doesn't matter. Thank you for listening. I like that the resolution of that story was, so Georgia likes tennis balls. Well no, it was just, it was very revelatory to me. I don't think we can give a shout out to people without nuts. Like, it's a, you're fine. You're fine. I guess what I'm trying to say is I never knew how much she liked it to the point where

she would be in a crowded party and go seeking out a ball anywhere she could find it and bring it back to me. Will you throw this? But I mean what else does a dog have to do? No, my dog hates toys. No, but Molly doesn't like balls. Yeah, my dog does not react to toys of pretty much any kind. We got little tiny tennis balls for Molly to fit her mouth like going, okay, well, Georgia always hogs the big balls. Let's get tiny balls. She turns her nose up at it and sleeps instead. My dog likes to hang out. She doesn't want to play. Those little tennis balls I

think are very adorable. They are. I've had them all. I bought tons of toys because I really wanted her to play and she'll just like every once in a while she'll like a toy and it's so weird. You're like what she's like into that one and then and then she'll get over it and it's like, well, when we buy them anymore, when we throw toys in the pool, though, I will say that Molly, that seems fun. Molly gets activated and dives into the pool after the after the specific toy in order to take it away from Georgia and they have floaties on right and they have floaties. I kind of want to get that. I have no reason to give my dog that. Yeah, yeah.

I just want her to have all the accessories. Better safe than sorry. She has a winter coat. She's got a lot of sweatshirts and t-shirts. She has an umbrella. Any hats? She doesn't. She has hooded things.

It's tough to put a hat on a dog. But I have a hat for a cat that I got in Japan in like a vending machine. And it was like cat hats. They're little like. I also got her some dirty underwear. RIP Dr. Seuss speaking of cats and hats. I can't believe what they're doing to his legacy.

I can't believe that they killed him. But these little masks, you like Velcro on their chin. And it's like, it looks like a duck hat and it's so cute And she does let me put it on her Our dogs can have the hats they just like the shoes are they will not abide by it She doesn't like shoes either. It's it's so videos of dogs trying to walk out of shoes. Yeah Yeah, it's so great. It's really funny. There you can see they're clearly like trying to lift their foot out of it.

Right. And don't understand why. Are you any closer to getting a dog? No, you know I don't have pets but we live our lives by Scripture and so Janie is very subservient to me so I feel like that's the same. But I feel like Jeannie always wants a dog. Jeannie wants a dog. Sorry. She definitely wants it more than I do. I think she would be- But you only don't want it because of the shit aspect. Why, cause you don't want cleaning up shit?

No, it's not just that. Oh, okay. Is it the feeding? You think all food should go to you? I like that you're making it sound like I'm a You're weird. Elitist. Oh, you don't like cleaning up shit.

I'm getting a pooper scooper. That's my next purchase. Congratulations. Yeah, I'm really excited. And buy yourself a beach parking pass after that. And go to the beach. What? And I can go clean up poop on the beach? Yeah. Why not? Yeah, I don't think we're any closer.

And it's not just that aspect. It is like the the the the chowse of our lives. Yes. There's also the knowing knowing you're entering into a relationship that is going to end in grief. Oh I've said it. That's everything. Pets countdown to heartbreak. I can't I can't I can't. I know. My cat is I hope I die before my dogs. Oh, my God. OK. OK. OK. OK. I'm the lead singer of the who? I have to give a shout out to that company that you. Yes. Yes. I got you more food. That's what I want.

Comedy Bang Bang had a sponsor cat food company, and then Scott offered it to me because I have a cat. And my cat loves this food. Still loves it too. Oh my god. Yes. And I'm going to subscribe honestly because she is she every day is so excited about this food and she's eating more than she has in a long time and she has kidney disease and so am I really happy that she's eating so much. And she just seems very happy. Yeah.

Do you serve it to her in a crystal goblet, like Fancy Feast? I should, I really should. I serve it to her in a little bowl that says meow on it. Why is it? I know, it's like she knows what to be. Are you old enough to have seen that commercial, Fancy Feast?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I was feeding her Fancy Feast actually because I wanted her to have some wet food. The finest in life. I know it's not that good, but she just didn't eat anything. And if I got her like have some wet food. The finest in life. I know it's not that good, but she just didn't eat anything. And if I got her a, I got her like a science diet one,

she just didn't eat that. Science! And then I got her this fancy feast. She would like, she loved it, but she would just lick the gravy and not eat the food. But with this food, which is called Smalls, she eats the, all of the food. And she really- This is not an ad by the way.

This is just you genuinely, I mean, yes I did an ad for it on my other show, but you Lauren and I. Yes, I have personally eaten the cat food. I have not been paid and I would like to be. Well, I'd like to get you some free subscription if we could. That would be amazing.

So let's try to work on that. Georgia used to not eat, which was very weird. Like we'd put her, especially coming off of Rocky, who would like wolf up his food. We would put Georgia's- No, most dogs wolf it down. That's interesting. No, it came the other way.

Wow. Yeah, Rocky used to go ask first. It used to go up. And then he would throw it up? Yeah. I have to go out Rocky out, he's gonna throw up. But Georgia would just leave her food in the dish and then we would go like, how can we get her to eat more?

And we never figured it out until we got Molly. And then the competition between them, like knowing that Molly will eat her food if she doesn't eat it, now they're like insane about it where Georgia tries to like edge her out and you know, make sure she doesn't eat it. Now they're like insane about it, where Georgia tries to like edge her out and you know, make sure she doesn't eat it. That's like me. I don't care about being alive

until somebody else wants me dead. Wow. I put my head out on Paul like 10 years ago. Just to keep his spirits up. Gave you a second lease on life. How many people want you dead you think? Probably not that many, but the ones that want it really want it.

All right, let's go to a break. We'll be right back. I'm one of them. So you might not be able to see it, but right now I am rocking my favorite cross body leather bag from Quince. It's so cute. It's just that perfect mix of boho and put together and it elevates every single outfit I pair it with. Well, Quince is here to transform the way you shop with a range of high quality items priced within reach. They're making putting together a capsule wardrobe doable for everyone.

For those of you who might not be familiar, capsule wardrobeing is when you curate a streamlined solid collection of quality, chic, timeless pieces that you'll actually wear. No more clutter or unworn items taking up space in your closet. And Quince is revolutionizing the way we think about luxury capsule pieces by offering super soft 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters for just $50, organic cotton sweaters, stylish washable silk tops, and even classic 14 karat gold jewelry. The best part? Everything at Quince is priced 50 to 80% less than you'd find with similar luxury brands. By cutting out the middleman and partnering

directly with top factories, Quince brings us premium quality without the premium price tag. Indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.com slash threedom for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince.com slash threedom to get free shipping and 365 day returns. That's q u i n c e dot com slash freedom to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash freedom. This episode of freedom is brought to you by makers mark. You may not know that makers marks co founder Margie Samuels

was the designer and genius behind the original label. And now in honor of women's history month makers mark has partnered with the talented artist Gail Baker to hand paint a beautiful label, which you can personalize with the name of a spirited woman you know, someone who makes an impact on you or in their community. In honor of this Women's History Month, I wanna shout out an amazing woman I admire,

Julie Louis Dryfus, who hosts the show Wiser Than Me, also here on the Lemonada Network. I'm honored to be a part of a community of strong women, I want to pass it on. And as part of this Women's History Month, I got a fun personalized label bottle from Makers Mark. So cheers to you Margie and cheers to you Julia. And you can join in on the fun. This month order a free label and let a spirited woman in your life know just how special she is to you. Head to makersmark.com slash personalize, fill in the details and then shout

out the woman you know who's making a difference. Makersmark makes their bourbon carefully, so please enjoy it that way. Makersmark Kentucky straight bourbon whiskey, 45% alcohol by volume. Copyright 2024, Makersmark Distillery, Incorporated, Laredo, Kentucky. Hi there, it's Julia Louis-Dreyfus. You may know me from my podcast called Wiser Than Me, where I talk to older women and get their wisdom from the front lines of life. After season one aired, I was amazed by how many people told me our show made them look forward to getting older, which is why I'm here to talk about season two of the show. Sally Field, Billie Jean Cain, Beverly Johnson, Ina Garten, Bonnie Rae, just to name a few,

and of course my 90-year-old mom, Judy. All hail old women. Wiser Than Me Season 2 is out now from Lemonade Media. We're back! Hi everybody, we're back with more freedom. we're back with more freedom! We're back with more freedom. Yeah! Not less, we didn't take away the last segment from you.

We would never do such a thing, how dare we. But you must thank us for not doing that. You must thank us! Um, hi guys. That dog talk really took it out of you guys. Oh boy! I'm so tired from- I feel like Thanksgiving dinner! Hi guys that dog talk really took it out of you guys Like Thanksgiving dinner, I feel like I've just been dinner Paul what'd you do last night?

How dare you is this a what did you last night segment? Jesus What did you do last night, segment? What did I do last night? Jesus. Um... Hot topics. I didn't really do anything. I had a... What does that look like? What does Paul F. Tompkins not doing anything look like? Like, exactly what it sounds like. I sit in a chair,

and I stare at nothing. Like Data in that Collector TNG episode? Yes, exactly. What? Oh, The Next Generation? Yes. Star Trek The Next Generation. I actually watched an episode of that to do your podcast.

You watched Star Trek Deep Space Nine. Ah, Deep Space Nine. Fuck me. There's an episode where he gets kidnapped by a collector played by Saul Rubenek. Saul Rubenek, yes. Who's great in it, and he just wants him to change into a different outfit and sit in a chair. That's all he wants is for him to be displayed

as part of his collection. He's one of a kind. So this space collector has all these things. By the way, they always have, and it came up in your episode of Deep Space Nine, he also had a baseball card. What the fuck is that obsession about? The whole episode I watched was all about a baseball card. What the fuck is that obsession about? Here's the thing.

The whole episode I watched was all about a baseball card. Yes, I am. I'm a big Star Trek fan. I've liked it since I was a kid, but I will say and I'll say this on the Star Trek podcast that I co-host with Tony Newsome. Called? Called Star Trek, the pod directive that of all the sports

that would survive into the 24th century, it's not gonna be baseball. Well, it's gonna be fucking soccer. It's the easiest to play. What about basketball? Basketball would probably survive too. I also, and that- In terms of being a fan at least.

That particular episode was guilty of this. I like when Star Trek talks about the great whatevers of history. So they when when Star Trek talks about the great whatever's of history so they're and they always pick they always pick two of the most classic things and then they come up with a fake one. Yes. So they're always like Shakespeare and Mozart and sleep flop. Yes. So weird. It's a classic instruction. Well because they have to acknowledge that, yeah, if... But they can never say anything modern.

If they're in the 24th century, why would they? More things have come up. Yeah, more things have come up since the 20th century. But they never say anything from the 20th. They never want to take a stand on like... Sometimes they do. Even Elvis or anything like that. You know what the show felt like to me?

Having never watched that? It felt like Doogie Howser or like... Like it felt like Doogie Howser or like, like it felt like it felt like an old sitcom. Yeah. But like because there weren't as many single cam sitcoms, I feel like at that time, it has a feeling of this. Well, they shot it like a three camera. They just shot it with one camera. Does that make sense? Yeah, but that makes sense of why it feels a certain way. Well, the plot is absolutely,

it's an episode called In the Cards, I think. Well, and the plot of that one, which I was happy about. It was perfect for me. It was like a plot about how like, I wanna get this baseball card to make my dad happy. And it was like, what? It was so weird. And like, I enjoyed it, but it was 45 minutes of like,

but if you don't get that card, okay, but I only have five bars to spend, and I spent my whole life saving my five bars. Space bars? We haven't recorded the episode yet, so I'm worried about talking about it too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is totally a sitcom plot.

Absolutely. I gotta wait. I'll save it, I'll save it. But it was, I kind of didn't hate it, weirdly. Okay, well, I just started watching TNG, so I'm through season three. Oh, did you really? Oh, okay. Well, I started the first one, I'm like, you know what?

I've heard the next generation is good, I'm gonna start the first one, I'm gonna get into it. And by like minute 30 of the first one, I was like, this is a piece of fucking shit, what is this? And so I was like, let me just put this into Google and see what comes up. I put, when does TNG? And the first thing was get good.

I was like, oh, okay, yep. Wow. And it's like season three. So I did a little research and I read like, what are the good episodes of season one and two? And I watched probably three seasons of season one. Oh, so you are cherry picking a little bit. Yeah, and I watched most of season two

and I'm writing down which ones were good. For who? For a friend. A friend wants to get into it and I'm like, I'll watch it before you and just tell you which ones you need to watch. Who's your friend, Bill W? Yes.

Who's Bill W? Don't worry about it. Yeah, you don't need to know. I really to know. I really want to know. That's old. I don't know if people use it anymore. William Bill for short. Shhhhhhh.

That used to be sort of code for if you were in AA. Oh, my friend of Bill. I've heard of that. No, friend of Bill was about Bill Clinton. What? It was. That used to be a term. Friend of Bill. I've heard of that, Friend of Bill. No, Friend of Bill was about Bill Clinton. What? It was, that used to be, that was a term. Friend of Bill? Yes, during the Clinton era. But was it coming from that?

No, it was not. What? He was coincidentally named Bill. But I mean, I've heard the phrase, are you a friend of Bill? Meaning like, would you say Bill W? I believe you're right as well. I've always heard it as friend of Bill W.

But I believe friend of Bill is also I guess also I feel whenever I ask, I will say the W kind of makes it seem fake because you'd go, well, why don't you say his last name? Well, are you a friend of Bill W or Bill West or Bill Westchester? Because I am. Those are two different. I'm friends with one of them. One of them is my direst enemy. And I said, I mean, with both of them. I'm friends with one of them, one of them is my direst enemy. Emeni, I said. Jesus.

Guys, I'm going home. By the way, friends with P is Paulina Poroskova. And what does that mean? You like to look at porn? No, that is a song by The Rentals. Okay. If you're down with me, then you're down with P. And that's based on Paulina Porostow. Why were they singing about her?

I don't know. Maybe she's cool and everyone was friends with her? She was the coolest. Well also she was married at the time to Rick Okasek who produced Weezer's first album. He was the star of Pixar's Cars. Now Kate Mikuchi is married to the person who produced this album. Weezer's first album. So he was the star of Pixar's cars. Now Kate MacCoochie is married to a person who produces Weezer's latest album. She's the Polina Porizkova of our generation.

Polina Porizkova! Kate MacCoochie. I think it's really weird. I was reading about Polina Porizkova last night. I'll bet you were. I'm sure you were reading the images of Google. Flashlight under the covers. I was reading Google images. But it's so sad that, and I love Rick Okasek.

I love every Cars album equally and without measure. And I love his production. And it's just such a bummer that he cut her and two of his sons out of his will. Boy, yo,'re yawing. Yeah. That's some bullshit. That's some fucking bullshit.

How many sons does he have? The whole will conversation. I think he has six sons. Is a little nasty. Jesus, it's nasty. People get crazy with wills. There's always like, there's not always, but I'm saying. Bill W. Yeah.

But there's like, I feel like everyone has a story about some will that went awry, you know Yeah, that's it's not have you done yours by the way? No, but I've been thinking about it a lot You should go do it It's weird to talk to I can I can tell you I can give you some well There's also legal zoom does this but yeah, I can I can give you some interesting little heads up How much do you pay how much do you pay to do a will?

Oh, it's like $75,000. Basically, you end up just leaving all your money to them. Yeah, it's weird. It's a scam. Don't do it. Well, wasn't there something like that from some sort of crime? No, it's just you got to, there's people who specialize in it, and you just basically,

it's like going to an office and him or her notarizing. Were you thinking of the fertility doctor that used all those birds no no I was thinking about this this podcast I listened to called Ike something something I can oh god I got is it nominated for an ambi I can see the turn-cats I didn't look at any other category sir it's it's about this guy who was very Very interesting person. He was a therapist, but he basically ended up having all his patients and putting him into their will.

Oh, well... That's amazing. This is a thing that I'll tell you about later. Well, there's a show being made of it, which I auditioned for. So I'll tell you about it later. I'll tell you, though, something you don't know about it later. Oh, okay, good. Is it called Dr. Will Doctor?

Dr. Will Doctor! No, but it's a really good podcast. I'll try to figure out what it's called. Try. Is it called Dr. Will Doctor? Dr. Will Doctor No, but it's a really good podcast. I'll try to figure out what it's called. So I figure it out Well, I just think that must be annoying to like talk about it and then everyone's like, well, what's it fucking called? Yeah no, but you I mean it's you feel relieved when you've done it because like all of first of all if you happen to die and your loved your

Like, all of, first of all, if you happen to die and your loved, your spouse or whatever isn't left with all this shit of like, knowing what to do or having to go to probate and all this kind of stuff, you just like feel a relief of like, oh, okay, now everything is settled. There's no, there's just clarity, you know? No matter what. And as a shrink next door.

The shrink next door. As a person who, and as a person who has... You're a person. Had loved ones die, both my parents have died. The fact that they had all that shit sorted out, it's such a relief. It makes things that much... Yeah, it sounds so complicated if you don't.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you do have to, you basically are answering all these questions of, okay, what's the split of all of your assets between, you know, these people? What's the split if both of you die together? Do I have half siblings I never knew about? And do you even talk about like your belongings? Yeah, no, like whatever valuables you have that you put that in there as well

Like you can gift those to people and oh I almost I'm kind of curious about things that aren't valuable Yeah, you can do that. Yeah, you can put that in there. All your beanie babies Miniatures, oh my god. Oh my god. Do watch Harry and Meghan. I haven't seen it yet. It's fantastic the Oprah interview Oh, no, I didn't see it. Oh, that's great I I got the sense of it from the 8 million tweets I know why I avoided Twitter cuz I was like it was an event for me. I was so excited I yeah, I got out of the room. I still want to see it. I will say it's You want to hear his little call he wanted to leave but then it started

commenting over You little worm. This isn't for you. We just watched the NBA All-Star thing for 8 hours. Now it's my turn. What if you were commenting over that? Why did they throw it in that hole? Honestly, I was going like, look at this couch.

Check out this thing on my computer. I want to show you. And he's like, I'm watching this. I'm getting a real sense of your relationship. During the day, he yells watching this. I'm like, but. I'm getting a real sense of your relationship. Just say. During the day, he yells at you. Just glance over here. Just glance over here.

The worst thing for me is if Janey enters the room when I'm playing a video game, I become so self-conscious about it. Well, because like it's. Oh, I talk over all that. I will just talk over whatever is happening. That's fine. But I, I feel like I've been caught. Yeah, because it's infantile in a way. Yeah.

You feel like it's your mom. I see how it looks all of a sudden. Like when I'm playing the game, I'm in the world of the game. I'm following that. Yeah. And then when somebody enters the room, all of a sudden it's like,

I'm gonna get a bug. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew. I feel like I don't judge it at all. When somebody enters the room all of a sudden it's like I feel like I Don't judge it at all But I think partly it's because I grew up just like with my brother always playing video games And then my brother my dad always watching basketball all these things. I don't really care about but they're around She doesn't judge it. It's entirely your head entirely internal Here's to your point Lauren about talking over movies and you just wandering in and talking over any.

I think there need to be some rules established of when people can talk over tell. I think that- You mean like in Congress. I, yes. I think that someone should give you a heads up of, hey, I want to have a conversation instead of just coming in and saying, this is what Cool Up does. So when do you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah? I do that all the time.

Cause I cannot hear either thing. I'm going, okay, can you take out the kitty litter? You know, it's like, I'm just like talking. And most people don't even wait for a pause in it for it to be silence or whatever. They just talk over the dialogue. It then makes me, instead if you said, can I say something?

Then I can pause it, then I can listen to you, you know? What I hate is when you're watching TV live and there's commercials fuck it we'll do it and then and then and then you start the two people in the room aka me and Mike start having a conversation over the commercials like mute the fucking commercials yeah I can't have the conversation while this is happening yes it makes me feel crazy right it's like a third person speaking randomly. And you could die from taking this medication.

I'm like, hey, you're not part of this. Excuse us, we're trying to have a conversation. This is the second time this has happened. I've heard an airplane noise and looked up and seen a hawk in the sky and thought it was the hawk making, not really. But for a second I was like, what the vo? It was behind you.

Not really, but kind of. It's right behind me, isn't it? Aeroplane Remember my mother Doing this it's never what I when I do it I think of my mom doing this That we did not have a remote control TV for the longest time I see there and after I moved out of the house, I think my parent no we have like a moved out that we did not have a remote control TV for the longest time. Us either. And after I moved out of the house, I think my parent,

no, we have like a- After you moved out. We had a very, like an early remote that not like the kind that made noise, but just after that, where it was like, it was a big box. You know what I mean? Oh, was it, did it have a wire?

You had to press the buttons hard. It did not have a wire, no. But you had to like really like the wire on it. Yes, I watched the wire on the remote control Yeah, and you watch the remote control on the wire RIP Kenobor And R.I.P. Canober sounds like a Star Wars character. Oh, God. He too R.I.P. Canober. R.I.P. Canober.

Um, she, so she had, she had like a modern remote that didn't make noise when you, when you press the button and everything, soft touch. And a commercial, a commercial came on and she muted it. What she muted, she said, I don't have to listen to that. Wow. Suddenly you know what you, suddenly you don't have to listen to it.

You're standard. She like, she made have to listen to that. Wow. Suddenly you know what your standards are. She made it a feeling of power. And now anytime I'm doing a commercial, like, I don't have to listen to that. It feels amazing when you meet the commercials and you just sit there in the silence, you're like, ah. When I first got my first TiVo, it was such a feeling of power to figure out exactly

how many to press and exactly when to press play again. It was so satisfying. But conversely it always feels like a defeat when either you go too far or you have to hear the very last piece of any commercial. Absolutely yeah, but man when you could get that timing right. When you do it exactly. I was so good at it. I missed TiVo. Well, I've started it with the TNG episodes because on Paramount Plus, there is no skip intro or skip credits. So you have to watch these long ass. So I have to fast forward them now.

And I tried to time it exactly so that like right when you see Gene created by Gene Roddenberry, because if you do it too early you hear the massive crashing orchestra. What's good about Paramount Plus? Sell it to me. Give me the plus. You know what's got a great selection is Discovery Plus. I'm very on board. Oh, familiar. They have a lot of good shows. Wait, is that part of a bigger thing though? Like it's part of HBO Max or is it part of Paramount Plus? Well, I don't know.

I stole my friend's logins. I don't really know. You stole it. Well, he gave it to me. Okay. But you're stealing it from the company. You're both stealing from the company. Because I really wanted to watch this one show

and I didn't think I would like anything else on there. And then I was like, oh, I like everything on here. Okay. Well Paramount Plus is they have a show celebrity. I owe you it's where Does a home renovation for someone that matters Brad Pitt was the first one the fucking best episode and let me just say you do Not see Brad Pitt on reality TV very often. Oh, it's crazy and he was extremely sexy Being a guy. Right. I'm like, oh my God.

Just being a regular guy on reality TV. You never see him just hanging out. Cause usually he's up on the silver screen. Well he's doing the lines, doing like, yeah he's hot, he's saying someone else's lines. I'm like, no, he's a very attractive man. And that's why I've had a question about it. But if you watch that episode and he makes this whole I get what you're saying.

He makes this whole guest house makeover for his makeup artist who's been his makeup artist for like 25 years or something and it's the sweetest thing ever. Yeah, it's a good show. I like that show. It's a great show. Property Brothers team up with celebs to do things for people that matter to them. Property Brothers team up with celebs so they can hang out with celebs. Yes. Yes.

I will say we watched Roman Holiday on Paramount Plus, which is a great movie. Okay, classic. And I realized Meghan Markle did the reverse Roman Holiday. Wow. She, in Roman Holiday, it's a princess who decides to act like a normal person and then goes back to being a princess at the end.

Spoiler alert. And Meghan Markle is not a princess who acts like a princess and goes back back to being a princess at the end. Spoiler alert. And Meghan Markle is not a princess who acts like a princess and goes back to not being a princess at the end. I got to say, I'm very the interview made me very much more even than I already was fascinated with their deal, their deal. I'm very the couple or the royal family. Well, I mean, I've always been pretty interested in the royal family. What's your deal? or the royal family? Well, I always been pretty interested in the royal family. Oprah's changed her pronouns.

What's her deal? But really the couple and that they kind of had to, it just seemed like they had to get out. If you watched it. Did they ever bring up, and I know I could have just watched it. Sure. And it would have answered this,

but did they ever, did Oprah ever say like, well, when you first started dating him though, wasn't it attractive to you of the whole princess deal? Yes, she did ask that. She was like, well, didn't you think about what it would be like to marry a prince? And she said, no. She said she didn't, she, Meghan Markle claimed-

To clarify, I wish that she had asked like, but wasn't that exciting to you that he was a prince and isn't that part of the reason why you agreed to date him in the first place? I don't think she did phrase it like that, but she, Meghan Markle said she did not Google him at all, which I'm like, and she didn't grow up knowing about him. I feel like my whole life I've known about these people.

Yeah, for sure. I probably didn't even know who he was until he did get engaged. Oh, okay, I was very aware of him. Well, you were friends with Princess Diane. Well, of course I did shake her hand, but I also am his age, and so it's like, you know, seeing whatever.

There but for the grace of God, I understand. I could have been him. You could have married him. Well, that's what kind of killed me about this whole thing, because my whole life- I mean, he's marrying second banana guest stars on TV shows. I'm saying, I'm saying.

Why not you? I know. Well, I actually had this thought when this was happening because I was like my whole life I just assumed there's no chance I'd ever marry a prince right because I'm a foul-mouthed guest star But then For a babysitter

Corinne foul-mouthed guest star And I'm thinking I could be poised in a situation like that. I'd be great. So I mean, I could have done it. And I know as we all know, I worked out next to him at a gym when I was in London. So I was right there, but he was already with Megan at that point. If only you'd worked out three months earlier.

I know. If only you'd been on suits. Something just hit me in the head by the way. I saw that. I thought you were having some sort of episode. I don't know, some nut just hit me in the head. Somebody's nuts. It's Mike Hanford.

Was it Deez? Was it Deez Nuts? All right. We have to take a break. Okay. Can't get enough of your favorite Lemonada Media podcasts? By subscribing to Lemonada Premium today, you'll gain access to fun and inspiring bonus content from all of our podcasts across the Lemonada Media network. As a subscriber, you can listen to never-before-heard interview excerpts, behind-the-scenes segments, and continue to uncover new ways to make life suck less through

all of our exclusive subscriber audio. Check out a free trial of Lemonada Premium today in the Apple Podcast app by clicking on our podcast logo and then the subscribe button. People love to pretend that there are simple formulas for living your best life now. Eat this and you won't get sick. Manifest it and everything will work out. But there are some things you can choose and some things you can't. And it's okay that life isn't always getting better.

I'm Kate Bowler and on Everything Happens, I speak with kind, smart, funny people about life as it really is. Beautiful, terrible, and everything in between. Let's be human together. Everything happens is available wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back and it's Three-Ture time and this one was submitted by John and apparently he didn't want to give his last name. 316? Yeah, I think so.

I think it was the guy with the rainbow Afro. Oh, fun. Look him up. He's a real fun guy. Not wig, but Afro. Oh fun. Look him up. He's a real fun guy Not wig, but afro It's his real hair that he's died This is called no more jockeys. Okay, and apparently this is a popular game from Taskmaster What does that mean? You know what that show it that's a that's a

Sort of comedy game show that I've never seen, but I thought it was great. Reggie Watts did the Comedy Central USA version, which I never watched. Is anyone watching The Chase? Yes, we talked about it last time, didn't we? Okay, I'm boring. You're not boring. I don't know The Chase. It's a game show with Ken Jennings and two other...

Oh, I'm sorry, no, we talked about The Hustler. Thank you! I cannot tell the... they don't have distinctive names Trivia nerds the three dudes who won Jeopardy like the tournament of the one something else They all have like a streak of whatever you know I'm talking about Jennings and the other two guys the guy who goes all in You guys so then what happens is people who are good at trivia compete against them and it's kind of like a betting thing. Like, can you get more right than the guy?

They honestly, I just explained it so simply. Yeah. And that is accurate. But they explain it for about 10 minutes. That's my biggest complaint. That's the problem with the games. It sounds like Beat the Geeks. By the way, I watch The Weakest Link now. Goodbye.

I watched all that too. I fast forward through all of the jokes, and it makes it a much more pleasant... Wait, wait, wait. Is that back on The Weakest Link? Yeah, Jay Lynch hosts it. Jay Lynch hosts, and I believe people we know probably write the jokes, and I'm sorry to them, but... Well, no, because you just want to see the person lose.

No one wants that there. You know what I mean? I want someone to lose and then... Yes. I don't want the no, because you just want to see the person lose. I want someone to lose and then. I don't want the jokes of like. I want to see lose. Who is two shrimp short of a shrimp bucket? Yeah, exactly. All that kind of stuff. Okay, so.

The fuck? Yeah, she's like. Who among you needed the recipe for ice? Yeah, exactly. Who, you know. Boy, yoy, yoying. It's basically. That was a good one, honestly. Yep, yo, it's basically that was a good

Yeah, well, it's old When you used to be able to buy Screen door on the submarine There you go. You guys should work for that show No, thank you. That's really you you're really good. The weakest link, goodbye. The weakest link, goodbye. Okay, so on each turn, we go around in a circle and each person names a person, a famous person, or I guess a person we know.

Same thing when you're us, I mean. And the category that they fall under, okay? Meaning. Okay, singer, actor. Meaning that yes. So, actor. Meaning that yes. So, so... Meaning that yes. And you say it as in no more this. So for instance, Kanye West, no more rappers. And then what happens?

Then we cannot name any rapper ever again. Okay, so then you can name anyone else you want and pick a category that they fall under and say no more this. And then... then okay eventually we will run out of people. Oh okay so eventually or almost immediately. So each time each time like I'll say no more whatever then you name a person and say no more whatever and that narrows it down as a down. Okay so it is good to start with a more obscure group not actors actors. Yes. So you can't like, if you were to say like, no more men, that cuts out. I mean, you know.

But you could say Jonas Salk, no more polio vaccine developers. There you go. Right. Although that would take forever. And then I'm fine. Susan Sarandon. Wait, why would that take forever? Well, just that's so specific.

No, but I'm saying just to kind of get it going. Yeah, yeah. He made a joke, but yeah, you did take it really seriously. Well, it's not fun, Paul. Well, we can't play like that, Paul. I'll be here all day. OK, so Paul, and by the way, I guess, I guess if we want to say who wins or loses, whoever gets stuck loses.

Oh, OK. If we want to say who wins or loses, we can say Paul. OK. So Paul, do you want to start us off? Yes, especially because I've already as patriarch of the group I'm going to say Petro tool no more actors you just did what I said don't do wait what? Well, I thought I called you cool. My god. This is sick I'm so used to having her write to my right.

Yes, yes. Write my jokes. I just said actors. Kula, will you write my jokes this week? Now we're kind of immediately put into a... That's okay. No, no, no, no. Let's try it and maybe we get less specific next time.

I only said it because I had to say for the listeners who know that I just said that. Right. Yes. Well, I thought the Jonas Aukman was a good way to start. It was fun. And you got slam dunked for that. I got slam dunked for that. No, no, no. It's going poorly. I got slammed for that. I think the actor thing is good. I think the actor thing is good.

This is good. This is good. This is good. I should have to think of other types of people. Peter O'Toole, no more actors. Barack Obama, no more presidents. actors. Barack Obama, no more presidents. Bruce Springsteen, no more podcast hosts. Oh wow. Let me see if I can do this. Tom Selleck, no more commercial pitchman. No, you can't because that person is also an actor. Yeah. OK, so that's OK.

You just redo it. So Bruce Springsteen, you could not do as a singer. Or I mean, you can do another singer. No, you can't because no one has said no more singers. Right, but because I've said no more actors, but I put. No more actors, no more presidents, no more podcasts. So you have to do someone who does not fall into any of those categories.

Okay, okay. All right then. But Terry Bradshaw, no more commercial pitchman. Is he an actor? I don't know. He has acted, but he's not. We'll say he's not an actor. We gotta accept it. We'll say he's not an actor I don't know he has acted but he's not we'll say he's not accept it we'll say he's not an actor okay I don't like Michael Jordan no more basketball players hello space jam okay fine okay I guess now I'm I'm

getting a better explanation of the game by doing it. Mugsy Bogues, no more. Yeah, Mugsy Bogues. God, I was going to say Dikembe Mutombo, no more finger waggers. Okay, I don't get it, but I'll take it. I'm getting it now. I'm getting it now. Okay, Billy Eilish, no more singers. Dick Francis, no more novelists. Or horses, I guess. Well, we don't know.

We'll disallow both. Guy Fieri, no more chefs. Okay. Do da do da. Guy Fieri, no more chefs. All the do da day. All the do da day. all the doodaday Guy Fieri no more chefs all the doodaday

Steven Spielberg no more directors. Mm-hmm And now it's all real people right? Yeah. Okay. Well I guess you could do, well, I don't know. I mean, I guess I wanted to say ET, no more extraterrestrials. I like it. That's good, that's good. That narrows it down. Zarzog is gonna be off limits now.

Zarzog is Lebeslorp. Okay. Bethany Frankel, no more Real Housewives. Oh. The Property Brothers, no more reality TV people. Damn it. Mm. Bop bop beep boop beep boop.

Boop beep bop beep boop. Boop beep boop boop. Boop boop boop boop. Cold as. Crack that whip. Ah, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, See pep-a-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe-pe- No more humanitarians. Oh. Whoever that person was who did the inauguration, no more poets. Well, you better know her name. You got it, come on. All right, E.E. Cummings, no more poets. There we go. Jesus Christ, no more messiahs.

Damn. Just gonna say David Koresh next time. Christopher Columbus, no more explorers. Exploitors is more like. There you go. Oh, fuck. Yeah, I said it. Let him have it. King George III, no more kings. Oh, can you imagine what a world

is no more kings of schoolhouse rock? Wasn't it a schoolhouse rock song? No more kings, wasn't it? Not that I'm aware of. I'm going Wasn't it Schoolhouse Rock? No more Kings. Wasn't it? Not that I'm aware of. I'm going to look it up while you talk. Steven Sondheim. No more Broadway composers. OK.

So you guys tend to think of the category first and then a person? Yeah, I do not have a regular system. What does my thinking music? Oh, I remember this now. What do I see? What is that? I like this. This is No More Kings. What is that? I like this. This is no more Kings. Who's that?

That's schoolhouse rock, but I don't know who's saying it. Puritans, the worst people you can imagine. They had four religious freedoms to be the worst people they could be. OK, Versace, no more designers. Nice. Oh, take it easy, Anthony were missing mother. Okay, Versace no more designers nice. Oh Take it easy Anthony Q non in Um I Know I can't say that I wanted to get to the no more Kings part

I to the No More Kings part. Um. Pfft, I hope it's a thing they say once. Yeah, they never do. Um, let's see. Let me say, Bob Ross, No More Painters. Mm. Oh, that's not, okay. Um. Bob Ross, No More Painters. Bob Ross, no more painters.

Painters, Bob Ross, no more painters. Limbo! Bob Ross, no more painters. Bob Ross, no more painters. Oh! James Beard, no more food critics. Ooh. Food critics. Oh. Casey Anthony, no more murder suspects.

OK. No, can't do that. Can't do that. Not gonna do that. Wouldn't be prudent. Mike Pence, no more vice presidents. I mean, if you're listening to this in the future, yes, he's president. He's going to be president one day. Of course he is.

We didn't know that now. Of course he is. We didn't know that now. Of course he is. No more presidents. Dibby, dee dee dee dee dee. Boom, boom, boom, boom. They went to Plymouth Rock. But Plymouth Rock landed on them. Justin Trudeau, no more prime ministers.

Oh, so no more blackface people. That's right. So you can't mention Ted Danson. I don't know that one. Oh, look it up. Enjoy yourself. It's later than you think. It's later than you think. It's later than you think? That's a song.

But I mean, is it more recent than I think? No. 30 years. Okay, good. That's helpful. It's also one of the only times where there's a context that makes it almost okay. Yeah. I'm not going gonna participate in this. Um...

You'll see what I mean. Okay. But just very quickly, not saying it was good. Um... Uh... The Pope. No more Popes. Oh, da Pope. The Pope!

You can't think of the name of any Popes? No! Pope Francis. There you go! You nailed't think of the name of any Popes? No, Pope Francis. There you go. You nailed it. How hard was that? Da Pope. John Wilkes Booth, no more Johns. Oh, okay.

Then I'm gonna say Charles Guiteau, no more assassins. Walt Disney, no more creators. Creators! Even of life itself? Jesus! Well the game needs to end soon. Uh, good point. Uh, my grandma, no more dead people.

Oh, okay. This ought to do it. Uh, Scott Ackerman, no more live people. There. We've done it. Damn it! And Paul won. No, the next person would lose. And we would share winning equally. No,

no, no, I won. No. We decided from the beginning that I won. You look like you are wearing a Star Trek uniform right now. By the way. I won. You look like you are wearing a Star Trek uniform right now. By the way. I should take a picture. I'm wearing my red shirt. We are gonna take a picture. It'll last longer.

Well, another Freedom in the books. In the books. We did it. Done and dusted. And that's all it took. That's all we had to do was just do the three segments and never take one away. That's all it took.

We did it, that's all we had to do. Thank you for it sucks. We're done. Thank you for listening everyone. We're at Freedom USA on Twitter and Instagram. You gotta follow along. Paul does those little recaps. Paul's the only active person in the account. I post some things on the account but Paul does the- Yeah, I don't even know how to get into it. Thank God. I do the little slide shows, the reference slideshows. Who knows what you would do if you had access. And I apologize for not having done it the last couple of weeks, but I did not feel like doing that. I was going to say, where have those been? Yeah, I just couldn't.

You know, sometimes... It's a lot of work. Because I have to listen back to the episode and make notes, and sometimes I'm listening to the episode just to make sure I didn't say something horrible. Yeah. Check out that blackface conversation earlier. I mean, look, I... we can't get into everybody.

We'll get into it next episode. Yeah, we'll talk about it next time. All right, bye-bye everybody. Bye. Did you ever get hit with a cringy memory of your 13 year old self out of nowhere and suddenly you're panic sweating and laughing at the same time.

Don't worry, don't worry, we all get that. It's because being an adolescent is one of the most visceral shared experiences we have as people and we want to talk about it. Join me, Penn Badgley and my two friends, Nava and Sophie on Podcrushed as we interview celebrity guests about the joys and horrors of being a teenager and how those moments made them who they are today. New episodes of Podcrush are out on April 24th, wherever you get your podcasts.

Hola amigos, it's Jeff Jose Andres. I am a cook and someone that passionately believes complex problems often have very simple solutions, like sitting down together and sharing our stories. Now, guess what? I have a podcast, Longer Tables, where I do just that. Each episode features brilliant people like Stacey Abrams, Ron Howard, Jane Goodall talking about food, life and

everything in between. Listen to Longer Tables, whatever you get podcast.