Threedom - Threevisiting: Free Willy Nilly

Episode Date: September 24, 2024

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss cursing, allowance and Lil Jon before playing Text Guess. Send Threetures and emails to [e-mail]. Leave us a voicemail asking us a question at hagclaims8.com. Listen ad-free and unlock bi-weekly THREEMIUMS on cbbworld.com Grab some new Threedom merch at www.kinshipgoods.com/cbbwSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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in high-risk patients. The Cologuard test is available by prescription only. Freedom! Freedom! Oh yeah! We did it! We did it! I'm proud of us. We didn't do it. Wait, we didn't do it? Oh no, wait, I'm sorry, we did do it. Oh, okay. I was mistaken.

I'm sorry, I'm getting two stories here. I'm hearing that we did do it and I'm hearing that we didn't do it. My story is that we did do it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I do it. Oh, okay. I was mistaken. I'm sorry, I'm getting two stories here. I'm hearing that we did do it and I'm hearing that we didn't do it. My story is that we did not do it.

I had heard we did not do it. But Scott's saying we didn't. I'm sorry, that's just what I heard from secondhand sources. This is not, you know, firsthand, I'm sorry, but I heard we did not do it. What is this, Whisper Down the Lane? Is this the show? I don't know what that is. What is this, Asian telephone? Is that better than Chinese?

What does that mean? I don't think so. Oh, have you never heard that? Chinese telephone is a wonderfully racist old saying that is basically it's it's the story gets it evolves as it goes down the line. Yeah, but that's what telephone is. That's right. Yeah. So it doesn that's what telephone is. That's right. Somebody finally took away. So it doesn't have to be racist? No, it doesn't have to. No, and it isn't.

I'm not. I'm great. You're not great anymore. I'm a good person. Oh, I forgot you were great. I don't think so anymore. I forgot you were great. Oh, I forgot you were a very good person

who has a clean moral soul. Wait, when did you get a 90s turquoise and purple mic? When did you get so jealous? Like right now. And why are you dressed like a member of modest mouse? Because I am. I just joined the band. What?

What do you play? Uh, the tuba. I always thought the tuba guy in the, in, uh, who plays with Jimmy's? Oh, the roots. Yeah. Like he's really getting it. He's really getting a good deal out of this, isn't he? Why? Cause he only has to go two No one can hear, no one can hear his playing. It's just like boom, boom, boom, boom. Yeah.

And he has to do that for every song. It's great. Yeah. He only has to learn equal share. Tuba guys only have to learn one thing, and then they do it for every song. It's great. But then they have a bass player who's replicating what the tuba does, doesn't, right? I think those two are a package deal. Oh, okay. It's like we were talking about the musicals

with the kids that are double cast at the same time. They all do the same thing. Yeah. Well, Lauren, this is a grain microphone with a purple pop filter on it. Wow. Yes. It looks wonderful.

I had blue covers on my mics, but then they all died. Is that a picture of yourself? Cause it looks like a bald lady. It is not a bald lady. It is supposed to be like a statue, like a bust, a marble bust. We must, we must. And it's from my production company. All the production that our bust. Production company, all the productions I'm always doing.

Ah, I see. Wow. Very impressive. All of your many, many productions. Thank you, thank you. Wonderful, welcome to Freedom, by the way. My name is Lauren Lapkus. My name is- My name is Lauren Lapkus. My, this is crazy.

My name is Lauren Lapkus. I just introduced myself and this is crazy. My name is Lauren Lapkus. I just introduced myself and this is crazy. I'm Lauren Lapkus. So have my baby. Oh my gosh. Ah! The countdown is on people. By the way, we got- Is it any day now?

No, it's only week now. Yeah, well by the time people listen to this, everything will be out. Do you remember when Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve would start at the beginning of December? Well, it would start the day after Halloween. 12,000! 11,999! By the way, we got some listener mail.

What? We got that mail? We got listener mail. Who gave that manic result? From a fan named Chuck Bryant. Oh my gosh, he's Podcast Royalty, of course. Yeah, Podcast Royalty, from Stuff You Should Know. He says, please pass along to Lauren

that my almost six-year-old daughter Ruby listens to Freedom with me in the car so she may be the actual youngest listener. Oh, Ruby likes the girl who does the funny voices. That's a quote. Thanks, Ruby. Says quote, Paul and Scott do the best bit. Okay, good.

Okay. We're back on the best bits. That's a quote. That's a direct quote. And then he says, don't worry about the language. When I said dumb shit, she said, hey, that guy shouldn't say dumb. Okay.

Wow, Ruby. That's pretty good. Ruby does the best bits. Ruby, Ruby, Ruby. You know what though? Ruby is not the youngest listener because the youngest listener of course is little Danielle Lapkus-Gassel.

Oh my baby, yeah. Yes. That's amazing. She's been listening yeah. Yes. That's it. She's been listening the whole time. She's been listening to all of this. She has. Been listening since she was conceived. She has notes.

She has a lot of notes. Lauren, what is your, and forgive me if this is too personal, but what is your social security number? No, what is your- Problem. Stance, what is your fucking deal? Forgive me if this is too personal, what's your fucking problem? What is your stance on cursing with the child? Can the child curse?

What's the stance on cursing with the child? Can the child curse? And the jello pudding. I, you know, this might come as a surprise, but I don't think people should curse in front of children. And I actually feel bad that I've been cursing in front of Ruby this whole time, but what am I gonna do about it?

How young is, or what's the cutoff? Like when can you say but? But you can say at any point, but I think- You can say but at any point. I remember when my mom said fart around my baby sister and it was shocking to us. That kind of stuff is fine with me. Why did she say it?

Well, it was weird to us. That kind of stuff. Why did she say it? Well, it was like I farted. Maybe, maybe. Did you smell my stinky fart? Hey guys, we have news for you. To a baby. Oh, that was me. Like explaining to the baby that wasn't you. That was me. This is all new to you. No, we were playing a... It's so hard to explain, and I think maybe I've even talked about it on this show, but we were playing a game where where she swapped out the first letter of a word and pointed to body parts and was like, you know, instead of foot it would be like,

butt, and... Instead of penis it would be like, zinus. But? But with the same... Do you mean boot, by the way? No, but with the same letter each time. So then when she got to heart, we were on the letter F, and when she got to the heart, she went fart,

and we all laughed and were so shocked that my mom said it. Did she laugh and giggle? Yeah, she laughed. It was like, I felt like I should be embarrassed. You should have been. And should run away. I never heard my mother say that word. Thank God.

Is that so? Yeah, that's true. That's true. Wow. I wonder if I inherited my horror of that word from her. Maybe. Yeah. I mean, I... It was not said in our house. It really wasn't. I mean, it is a thing you have to describe right?

I mean like she would say you know my mom would say expel gas. Oh there you go. Have you been expelled? School no just your gas. It's political. But I mean when I was a kid we were watching Ren and Stimpy and that show Which I also I just watched this documentary about Nickelodeon on one of those platforms about Nickelodeon on one of those platforms Nickelodeon? Ah we did it! Now we did it! Now we did it!

Now we did it! But it was called like the Orange Years and I thought okay I'm gonna watch two minutes of this Would you fix your mic? No because it's fucking broken I can't deal with it right now That's why I'm saying fix it! I have to get another stand but anyway It's over there!

It's over there! It's so comical I wish this were a video podcast Do you want to go get it while Scott and I vamp? That's why I'm saying I have to get another stand Comical I wish this were a video while Scott and I vamp fine. We'll talk about farting while you go get your thing So Paul how many times you farted it? Okay Scott Paul alone yeah listen yeah this baby is ruining our dynamic No, right. It's not Ford Right? It's not four-dom. It's not. We pledged we would never have a guest. It's not three and a half-dom?

No. It's not three and almost nine months-dom. When you used to go to a restaurant as a kid. I still do. Okay, okay, but not as a kid. Sure. But with your parents. I know, I still know as a kid.

I wear a velvet short pantsuit, a big straw hat with a ribbon on it. School uniform. Yeah, absolutely. You look like you're in ACD. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But would they, would they always say like three and a half? Like who gives a shit if it's a half? I don't remember that. No. The other one's broken.

No, really? They would just say four? I don't remember many interactions with the, the host or hostess. Well, I guess, well, speaking of restaurant roundup, but we, I guess being a host, that's what it always is, is like three and a half. You don't need to tell me that your kid is five or unless you need a booster seat. Oh, Ryan Connor entered the waiting room. Isn't this very interesting?

Well, well, well. Look who turned his pretty little head up into our show. You're gonna let him in, let him in. I let him in. He was knocking at the door. He was ringing the bell. Okay, all right, well, we'll see. We expect a full apology in the chat, Ryan.

I demand an explanation. In any case, yeah, you can just say four. Like, especially if you don't need a booster seat. Lauren don't know what we're talking about. I heard parts of it, but my other mic stand is worse. They broke it, the mic and Joey. They broke it! What were those boys doing?

They're too rambunctious. I don't know, but I have other ones. I just don't know where they are. Like we were just getting this whole room set up, but can I play you a clip that we discussed on a previous episode that I couldn't find in the moment? Sure. Previously on Freedom. Is he in there? Lying in a pool of his own urine.

Oh, there it is. Yorin. Lying in a pool of his own urine. Lying in a pool of his own urine. Lying in a pool of his own urine. Okay, we got closure on that. Lying in a pool of his own urine. Lying in a pool of his own urine. So, I'm gonna pull of his own Lauren. So I wanna get back though, I wanna get back to speaking of Lauren.

Swearing. To the cursing, like when can you say damn? When can you say shit? Hell. Here's the thing, I swear all the time so I'm sure it's gonna happen very readily and it'll just be. Why do you think that people shouldn't swear

in front of kids? Well, I just don't want the kid to say swear words. Why? You don't wanna hear it. Because it's so foul, it makes my ears bleed. But it's so funny when kids say it. It is funny, and it's gonna happen anyway. I just feel like I don't wanna- As long as they know the rules of like,

these are words you don't say in polite conversation or to teachers or stuff like that. I just think it's like, I don't want it to be the kind of thing where their instinct is to say like, fuck, I dropped my block. You know? I have a friend who-

Or block, I dropped my fuck. Her niece, there was this video, she showed me this video of her niece, who is this adorable little red haired girl. And she's like, in the bathtub- Is this the one that Charlie Brown was in love with? Yes, the same one. Wow. who is this adorable little red-haired girl. And she's like, in the bathtub- Is this the one that Charlie Brown was in love with? Yes, the same one.

Wow. She never got older. She's like in the bathtub, she's like playing with a toy. And then she very quietly says, fuck it. And then she looks at the camera with like this look of absolute glee on her face, like, look what I just did. And then her father says

What did you just say and she goes? Fuck it Laughs maniacally, I mean that is really oh and then he posted it to the internet see it's all Internet this is private. Oh, it reminds me of oh it was right But he at least shared it with you as it was funny. And that's the whole point. He shared it with his sister-in-law, who is my friend. And then she shared it with me.

Oh my God. Wait, this is so, this is a reality recap. But Scott, you're watching The Bachelorette, I assume. Yeah, tough season, let's be honest. But tough season is probably over. Tough season. It's probably over at this point. Because Chris Harrison's gone. Sure, it's over. It doesn't matter.

Last week, there was a point where it sounded like she was autotuned. And I wish I had put it. Just speaking? Yes. Saying, you're in? And I haven't been doing my stories on Instagram because I'm just like, I got to take this season off, I think, at least until it gets good,

because the beginning is just mayhem with all these guys. But she goes like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, like she yells at me, and we both went, she sounded autotuned, and then we rewound it, and it was like, she was, like it was so weird. Like they did, like the producers did it as a joke? I don't, or it was like weird editing or something. And out of tune or something, or they needed to speed it up.

That could have been a thing, where they needed to speed up the timing of it. And she said, belegda? And she was like, belegda! Belegda! Belegda! Belegda! Belegda!

Belegda! Ika-chutu belegda! Belegda! So what about Lauren, what about, sorry to ask you so many questions, but I'm interested in this. You were up to two. Yeah, sorry to ask you a second follow up. It's okay. But what, so like, have you planned out conversations and at what ages you're gonna have them with your children, like with your children, like with your children,

like with your children, like with your children, like with your children, like with your children, like with your children, like with your children, like with your children, like with your children, like with your children, It's okay. But what, so like, have you planned out conversations and at what ages you're gonna have them with your, like with Mike and stuff like that? Or like, have you talked about a lot of these issues or is it kind of a thing where you're like,

oh, I'm just gonna take it as it goes and we'll like talk about it five minutes before it happens? Very take it as it goes mentality with the entire situation. Parenting situation. I mean, I think like, one thing that's interesting is that just within our relationship, like when certain things come up, I feel like, like related to parenting, we might have different opinions and then it's like, oh, that's going to be a thing, I guess, when we have to figure out that thing or whatever. But like it's nothing huge,

it's not like religion or something, but like, just our approach to different things. Because some people have to figure that out where it's like, hey, which church, and I'm assuming you're not going to church. I wasn't gonna start now, I think is the vibe. Right. Like 15, 15 probably a great time.

I have a baby so now I go to church. I'm like no. Guess what? Some people think that, some people think that kids need a baseline of that, of like to know what it is or whatever. I think, I don't think that's- And so even though they're not religious,

they go like, oh, I'll take you to church or whatever. Take me to church. That was mainly Hosier, yeah, Hosier, that's what that whole song was about. How Hosier you? I mean, I'll take you to church or whatever. Take me to church. That was mainly, yeah, Hoser, that's what that whole song was about. I mean, I went to church enough times as a kid that I feel like I do have that like baseline understanding of what church is and whether I wanna go or not. The body of Christ.

Yeah. But, but I don't, like we both don't go to church, so it would be really like a stretch to be like, now I gotta find a church so I can teach this kid about what church is so they can decide they don't wanna go later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.

But I am open to discussing religion and God and all that kind of stuff. I think that's great. I just don't wanna go to church. So like when your daughter is three and says, what happens when we die? And you say nothing, our brains just turn off. I'd probably say you go to heaven.

Really? When will you tell us the real truth? I don't believe that your brain turns off and you just are nothing. Then why are we burying people if their brains are still alive? Well, okay, their brains, I do think you don't function as a person anymore,

but I think you have a soul. Okay. You think that there is an energy that animates us that cannot be destroyed once we die? Yeah. I don't know if I would describe it that way, if it sounds holographic. Or six pounds.

It sounds holographic. Like it sounds like a hologram. That's what she meant then. I don't know, I kind of think, I kind of think everyone, I kind of think just everything shuts down, but who knows? Yeah, I mean, I think, I think for a kid, I understand that people teach their kids all different things.

So there's plenty of people that I probably know who teach their kid that there's no afterlife and there's no nothing happens and you do go in the ground and but I also think it's like a really big Concept for a little kid to accept and that seems kind of it's like if even if you grow to believe that I just think It's a lot to say to a little kid that like If they know someone who died that like they're just gone to a little kid that like, if they know someone who died, that like they're just gone. Right. I think that's sad.

Yeah, I don't know. It's an interesting, I mean, I guess I would like to read an article or something written by atheist parents who raised their kids to believe there's nothing when they die and how that has worked out for them or whatever, or you know, I mean, religion in general is kind of comforting to everyone of all ages. True. From six to 69.

I mean, yes, but I'm of the opinion that in the afterlife, you could be headed for a serious life. Now you make that scene all day. But tomorrow they'll be held to pay back. Did you put a squirrel in the zipper since you missed? That's a great song, by the way. Why didn't they ever make any other song? They made an album.

They had one other minor hit. They did half a song called Put a Lid on It. I have that album that they made. I'm sure they made more than one album, but I have their first album. I've got the one. Yeah, it's a good song. Yeah, good stuff. I'm alive in Irvine. Were you going to say something about that? They have their first album, yeah. I've got the one. Yeah, it's a good song. Yeah, good stuff.

Good, good, good stuff. Were you gonna say something about that? No, he just wanted to sing that song. I wanted to sing the song. But I was raised Catholic and believed in heaven, but it was always very, it wasn't comforting to me. Heaven was always very weird to me. I couldn't, I guess because I couldn't picture.

Well, the concept of hell is the problem. Yes, that I could picture very easily. Like if you, Lauren, if you were just like, hey look, there's, you know, we call it heaven, but everyone when they die goes there. Well, that's what I think, I don't think there is hell. For me being raised, it was like, well, only our special people go to heaven,

and then everyone else burns for all eternity. People that have not committed adultery. I mean, it's hard. It's a hard concept because then when you talk about, I don't think about, I don't think someone who had an affair is going to hell. But I'm saying I do think someone who's like a pedophile probably shouldn't be up in heaven. What if they were and it's weird? Like, Oh, what are you doing here?

He's like, it's kind of fine now. My point is, is what if it's is what if it's not a reward? Like heaven, that's the problem with religions is, heaven is a reward, hell is a damnation. What if it was just like, everyone's consciousness gets sort of like uploaded into an ethereal, you know, being and just like, it's a place that everyone just, everyone who has ever been and will ever be just all shared.

Well, I actually think the movie Soul. Even Hitler. The movie Soul. Even Hitler. Did you watch Soul? Yeah, yes. I feel like that is a great starting point for that conversation. Mm-hmm. So just flip on Soul and walk out of the room.

Yeah. It worked for me. That was my sexual education from my parents. Soul? There was an after school special and my mother told me to watch it and then she left the room. Wow.

And it was just explaining sex and how it happens. I mean I'm glad you left the room. I'm not how to get at them. Mine was, I'm sure I said this, was in church when I was 13 or something, the pastor said, if your kid is 12 and you haven't had a sex talk with him, they already know about it.

And I went, whew, I don't have to have that sex talk. Wow. And did you already know or are you like, I could still use a few clarifiers. I honestly still had no idea. I remember being 13 and my friend saying the word bush and me going like, and I could tell it was sexual. And I was like, I think he's trying to say that he's gonna go take the girl into the bushes and make out with her. Oh no. Oh dear.

I mean, I know we've talked about this before. And then I dissected a frog. Like if I'm dissecting a frog, I should be able to know what sex is. If I know what a frog's pussy looks like. When when the pastor said that was he being like kind of funny or was he being serious? I think he was trying to get parents to talk to their kids about sex at a younger age or something like that because by the time they were 13 or whatever they were already corrupted and you needed to talk to them about sex in the context of marriage and all this kind of stuff. I'm so weirded out by like fucking... I don't wanna talk about it.

I mean, I also remember in church how they talked about Iron Maiden albums and how the mascot Eddie was a corpse and how that will lead to heavy metal fans wanting to have sex with corpses and a rash of necrophilia. To be fair, it did. Sure, I mean, we all wanted to do that. And thank God that period is over.

But it was, of course, that was terrible. The late 80s were wild. Yes, they were wild. Wild! Wild vibes. What if your little girl grows up to be taller than you? Will you like that? Oh my God, I-

Because then you'll have to look up at her. That would be awful. I have wondered about that. She is already large. I think it would be sweet. Cause you're tall. It would be like, she'd be looking down at her little mom. I mean, I think, I don't know if she's gonna be so tall

that she's looking down and be like, I'm little. No, that's what I'm saying. She'd be eight feet tall. Wait, how tall is Mike? He's six, three, six, two, six, three. Yeah. So, I mean, it could happen. I'm taller than my parents.

Yeah. I'm much taller than my mom. I'm like, I was taller than my parents, but that was not difficult to do. Right. Cause they were two feet high. Two feet. They were three apples high. Like, hello Hello Kitty.

What? That's how tall she is. Three apples high. The same as the Smurfs? Yeah, I guess. Oh, come on, you got it. I'm gonna Google this. Give it a quick go.

How tall is Hello Kitty? I smell a rat. She's five apples on her. Okay, Hello Kitty is five apples and her weight is three apples. Wait, how could She's five apples. I smell a kitty. Okay, Hello Kitty is five apples and her weight is three apples. Wait, how could she be five apples high and weigh three apples? She's gotta weigh at least five apples.

And a Smurf is no more than three apples tall. So yeah. I wanna know how many apples tall I am. So an apple, let's see. We should stack a bunch of apples. How tall is an apple? Well, I've been saying that for a long time, but now it has a context.

An apple is seven centimeters. So let's see. We're doing the best. How tall are you, Paul? I'm 5'9". 5'9", in centimeters. Wait, did you say centimeters? Oh my gosh. Why couldn't you look up how many inches is an apple?

175 times 7? So you're Conversion Euros of my no, but so you're 175 apples tall. 175? No way, that doesn't make sense. That doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense.

Look up how many inches apples are. No, 175 divided by seven, that's what it is. So you're 25 apples tall. Okay. Okay, that makes sense. Fair enough. You accept the smurfs? How many apples does he weigh?

Okay, I don't want to talk about your weight. I'll put it in the, no. I'll put it in the chat, then people do the math. You can convert and figure out how much I weigh. I'm all right to say, currently I'm 194. Okay. How many apples would that be? How much is an apple weigh is my first question.

Yes, in pounds, not in kilos. Empirical. I put in blobs. Okay. It's 0.33 pounds. Boy, 0.3? I didn't say boy. It's 0.33 pounds.

0.33 pounds. 0.33 pounds. So three apples per pound. 0.3. So what's your weight? 190 divided by three. So you're approximately, you're under 600 apples. You're 63. You're 63 apples heavy.

I don't think that. Didn't you say 0.33 pounds? Yeah, but I divided his weight by three, or should time it by three? No, it's three apples per pound, I think. So, yes. Dear God. This is what I wanted to do, but not by pounds. You're 570-

You wanted to do it by kilos? You're 570 apples, get over it. Ooh, that's not good. There we go. That's not good. I gotta lose some apples. Yeah, you gotta eat 50 less apples a day. I've been going to the gym every day for a month now. You look great.

Thank you. I was going to say you looked very slim on something that I saw yesterday. Although I don't base your worth on your weight. No, I know. But I feel like I'm starting to look like myself again. Do you know what I mean? I really like it was, I had a rough pandemic guys. I didn't know that you've been working out because I saw a picture you posted and I was like,

I thought you looked very slim. Well, thank you very much. I'm working on it. I wanna get back to where I was before I got so depressed. Yeah. A few years ago, but it feels good. Like right around when we started this show. It feels great.

It's weird how it lined up. Hey. Talking to us makes you sad. It feels really good to be, I'm back to like going to bed at a decent hour. Like I go to bed around 10 and wake up around 6 or 7. And I'm liking the mornings again, which I haven't in a long time.

And I got such bad habits during the quarantine. Yeah. Me too. Do you work out right in the morning, or do you take a while before you do it? I like to do it in the morning. I like to, I have my breakfast and my coffee and then I sit around for like a half hour or whatever and then I go. Yeah. And it feels good. I came right from the, I needed a little extra time today because I wanted to shower before I joined you guys. Thank you so much. Cause you've been stinking so bad.

God, you smell too good. You can see my stink lines. Yeah, stink lines. So have you been going to a gym? Yes, there's a gym right near my house. How's it feeling with the post-pandemic gym? It feels good because it was a gym that was taken over by new people, and they have rearranged everything. In a coup?

It was a bloody coup. Well, next door was like, are those fireworks or the coup? And they've rearranged everything. So like I do cardio and the cardio room is now very spacious and very airy and it feels extremely safe. And it's actually way more, it's brighter. It's more, there's more of a cross breeze, you know, it's great. That's nice.

They left one window open? They actually have a huge window that has two shutter openings. And you get a- Plantation shutters? No, dear, please don't. What is this, the telephone, plantation telephone? You can still say plantation shutters, can't you? Probably, but why would you?

I don't know. Well, I mean, there's no other way to describe them when you're talking about a house. Do you think, well, I'm not talking about a house, I'm talking about a gym. Oh! Talk about a house! I fucking got him! We no longer say master bedroom, we say primary bedroom. Oh, that's good, I guess.

Although I always thought it was just like, you're the master over your children. Master of the house. The house. Do do da do do. Do do do do. Ski ba da ba do. I'm a wacky guy. I'm a wacky guy.

That's what that song, the whole subtitles should just be. Yeah, yeah. I'm a funny guy. You're going to enjoy listening to me sing. This song doesn't further anything. It's the worst part. I, when I was, I was at my parents' house yesterday and I've found that like certain people in my family, I don't want to put them on blast, even though Well, there's three.

Never listen. We'll figure it out. Really just base everyone's worth on their weight. Ah, yeah. That's terrible. It's just a drag. And you know, I have lost weight as well recently, going to the gym a lot.

And it was like, finally everything was cool for this person in my family. It was like, oh, well, you know, you look great. You know, I'm so impressed. And you know, and then when they watch TV, they're always like, well, that person lost a lot of weight then, or this news anchor gains like 40 pounds in the last two years.

Like they're always judging everyone they see by how up and down their weight is fluctuating. And I started to realize that when I became like kind of attuned to it. And so it's something that I'm just trying to drop from my life of like. Oh yeah, absolutely. You know what I mean?

Just not even just like turning inwards. I mean like looking outwards of anyone. Oh yeah. Gives a shit what, you know. I've had fluctuating weight for years. And for me, I finally got to a point where I was like, you know, it's very hard. When you go through, when your body goes through changes, it's very hard. When you go through, when your

body goes through changes, it's very hard sometimes to adjust to that. And yeah, puberty. I now I have hair under my arms. And I'm like, okay. I'm so excited for you. Thank you. I feel like it was weird that it took so long. No offense. But it was like, you know, like the idea of loving yourself where you are is really challenging. Why did you, why? What did he say?

Because we do the best bits. Lodi. I don't get it. You're just sticking things in now, just willy nilly. Free willy nilly. All right, well that wouldn't make sense. Okay. But yeah, loving yourself where you are.

Yeah, because it was easier for me to do it with other people than it was for me to do it with myself. Yeah. Right. And to say like, yeah, like if you're happy where you are, that's good. The most important thing is being happy where you are. And for me, I realized, well, I was not happy

in certain places. Lodi. And also, and also wanting to be healthy too, because I was not, I was not taking, I wasn't taking care of myself. I just wasn't taking care of myself. Yeah. Well, you, I, not that you looked poorly before, but, uh, well, that's the thing with that, with that compliment because I, I, it's tough.

I meant it as, I meant it as just that you, like, you know what I mean? Like, it's like, I'm not saying you're better or worse or anything like that. And I have a friend who's recently been on like a weight loss journey, but not even, it's not, it's again, not really focused on losing weight so much as feeling healthy and just like changing habits

and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so it's one of those- I don't like it though, Lauren, when it's the other way, like on the bachelor, reality recap, when it's the Bachelorette, and she's, or the bachelor, and they're saying like, well, I want someone who has- Or the bacheloreno.

Who has, or the guimarino. I want someone who has a healthy lifestyle, but when they're really just saying they want a muscle man. Well, because weight doesn't determine health. But I'm saying- Yes, that's what I'm saying. Like, what if, would they ever go for someone who's like kind of a beefy guy who actually is healthy

and whose cholesterol is down and you know what I mean? Or skinny mini, you know? Yeah, they're saying they want a muscle guy. But that's what I mean about my friend because she wasn't like trying to lose weight to look a certain way or have a certain number. She's trying to redistribute it. Yeah.

Well, because it's more that she was like, I haven't been eating well, I haven't, you know, you can be eating well and doing all those things and your body can look all different ways. Yeah, absolutely. So her, she has lost weight as a result. And so it was one of those things where I'm like, I know that that's not her intention,

but I also want to compliment that because she looks great. And she looked great before. I never thought anything negative about her that because she looks great. And she looks great before. I never thought anything negative about her, but she looks great. But maybe we should stop saying people look great in general. I don't know. But it becomes this whole weird topic. Well, just us talking about it now,

it's like you, especially with people that you know, you want to, first of all, that's the only person you should ever say that to, someone you know. Yeah. But now even with that, we qualify it so much. Like not that you look bad before, you know, and it's like, it's just, we might as well just not say it.

Just like note it in your, in your head. You don't have to say anything. Can we, can we say that someone is dressed well? I think that's because clothing is a choice, you know, Clothings. Yeah. Is something people can well, unless you can't afford nice clothes. Oh my God, but see, you just can't say anything at a certain point.

I guess you could sew them. Try to compliment someone. I mean, I said to her, we were talking about it, I was like, I'm really impressed by all the work you've put in because she was working, she's working out five days a week and she's eating all the certain foods that she's making for herself.

Seven here, but okay. Sure, good, no, she's doing three herself. Seven here, but okay. Yeah, sure. Good. No, she's doing three days of cardio and five days of weights and stuff. Wow. And I was just like, I'm so impressed by that commitment. And then as we were talking and I was like, and I know it's not about how you look, but you do look good. Eight days a week.

What if Ringo had a workout tape? Hello, this is the Beatles workout eight days a week. I just want to add one more thing. Just finish this thought. No autographs. Just that I think that it's not negative to say someone looks good. I don't think someone who is working on themselves actively is going to be offended that you said you look good.

No. Here's a difference is that there was somebody that I had not, I had somebody on a podcast one time that I had not seen in a very long time. And I had lost a significant amount of weight since the last time I'd seen this person. And all this person could say to me was, you look so good. Like literally for the amount of time that we were not talking on mic,

this is all this person said to me to the point where it was like, this is, I don't, this is starting to be insulting now. Were they trying to bone you though? They were not trying to bone me. Are you sure? They were trying to stone me. I think there's a healthy like level of compliment you can give and also when you know the person really well,

it's another thing too. Like this is an old friend of mine, so I understand that it's okay for me to say that she knows where I'm coming from, blah blah blah. But yeah, I would never come in on somebody online or something. Would you ever say to someone, ooh sexy muscles boy? Yeah, like I probably like walked down the street and be like, when'd you get those muscles? When'd you get those muscles?

Hey total stranger, when'd you get those muscles? I would probably say, ooh sexy muscle boy to someone. If they were a sexy muscle boy, yes. Yeah, right. I know plenty of people who'd be happy to hear that compliment. I mean, if they're... How many would you say? At least four.

It's even tough when someone does look good and they're proud of it to say like, Hey, you look great because then, you know, in the inevitable time when they don't in the future, they're going to like be thinking, fuck, I looked so good before and now I look so shitty. That's the thing too. It's like, with, if you're going to be someone who's complimenting somebody's looks, you probably should just do it all the time. Yeah. You can't be based on a change.

You see, I mean, like I feel like, you know, about my friends, like they look pretty at all sizes and whatever. And if they, I probably tell them they look pretty one day and then they lose weight. I'm like, oh, you look pretty. It's like, it's not really like connected to the same. It's not connected to you. So Lauren, do me a favor and reach out

to every single friend of yours and tell them they look good every single day. From you. Yes. I think you should be able to, you should compliment people all the time and say things like if they gain weight, say you look good like this too. All right, we have to take a break. I think there's a reason they call it a health journey, right? It's because these things take time and any program you're on should not be selling some

one size fits all fix to all your nutritional questions. Weight Watchers has been the trusted authority in this space for decades. It's because they want to help us all towards building healthier habits. And now they've introduced the Weight Watchers Clinic. If you qualify, you can access doctor prescribed weight loss medications and receive support from a dedicated care team. You'll get virtual one-on-ones with board certified doctors focused on weight care,

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Weight Watchers fits you at WeightWatchers.com. That's WeightWatchers.com. This message is brought to you by the Kologard test. The American Cancer Society recommends that if you are at average risk, you should begin screening for colon cancer at age 45, no matter your race, ethnicity, or gender. And with the Cologuard test, you can actually screen for colon cancer in the privacy of your own home. That's right, no prep, no procedure, no scheduling hassles. The Cologuard test is a non-invasive, effective, and affordable prescription use-at-home colon cancer screening test that looks for both abnormal DNA and blood in your stool. Colon cancer screening is a crucial step in early detection because many people with early stage colon cancer have no symptoms. While a lifestyle of exercise and a healthy diet decreases the risk of

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and certain hereditary syndromes, or a personal or family history of colorectal cancer. False positive and negative results may occur. Any positive results should be followed by a colonoscopy, not a replacement for colonoscopy in high-risk patients. The Coligard test is available by prescription only. When 60 Minutes premiered in September 1968, there was nothing like it. This is 60 Minutes. It's a kind of a magazine for television. Very few have been given access to the treasures in our archives. But that's all about to change.

Like none of this stuff gets looked at. That's what's incredible. I'm Seth Doan of CBS News. Listen to 60 minutes, a second look, wherever you get your podcasts. And we're back. Hi. Hi. Hi.

Thank you. Thank you. Okay, no one knew I was here. Oh my gosh. We did? Yeah. I. Hi. Thank you. Thank you. Okay, yeah. No one knew I was here. Oh my gosh. We did? Yeah. I didn't. I was scared.

I was so frightened for you. Oh my god. What? What? Will John has entered the chat. Why not? Wait, was why not one of his things too? No, I'm just saying he should have more than two catchphrases. He should have more than two catchphrases, it's true. So one is why not? Wait, was why not one of his things too? No, I'm just saying, he should have more than two catchphrases.

He should have more than two catchphrases, it's true. So one is why not. I mean, what? I'll think about it. Who? In 10 minutes. What? Where?

Get back to me by eating beans. The reporter's question. Why, how? Have you, is there anything else that you and Mike have decided you're going to do? Like okay, well we're definitely doing this. You know, no. And this is, I mean, and maybe, I don't know, we're very day by day.

This is true. I mean, I feel like I just want to get to, I've prepared everything I can prepare with items that I need to have. Like things that you'd need to buy. Like you have a what, a car seat and a crib. Got the car seat, got the crib, got a bunch of clothes. One for the house, one for the car. Totally.

And I feel like... One for me. One for them. I feel like I, you know, I've been taking some online classes. We have a doula who's teaching us things. Classes in what? Labor and delivery and the process. Oh, we're still talking about that?

Yeah, sorry. And so I'm really focused on that. But it's also something that kind of has come up in my mind as I've been thinking about this. And I think it's very common, but I'm very focused on the delivery part because that's a really important part. Oh yeah, because it's... And it's scary a little bit

and you know, it's just big. And then, you know, the rest of it is like, I have to raise the child. But that feels like- Right? I mean, you're so focused on the two or three hours. Yeah. You know, that you're forgetting about the next 18 years.

Like the wedding versus the marriage. But I think that that's okay for right now. I'll definitely figure it all out. I have time, you know. Here's my new theory on parenting. You split your money with the kid, like right down the middle. That's a horrible idea.

And you give half your money to the kid, and then you say, anytime I buy you anything, you have to buy me something of equal value. This makes sense. But then you're just wasting money? Or I guess it's just like, well, cause I'm like, I need groceries. It's keeping things equal,

because so many parents grow up and they're like, oh man, I raised that kid, I spent so much money on the kid and they're not thankful. This is a purely equitable trade of like, if I buy you food, you have to buy me like a chair that's equal in value to the food. I think I'd rather raise the child to have gratitude. I mean, good luck.

Hey, I don't know. It's your baby. I was watching reality recap. I was watching a million dollar listing LA or New York, I'm sorry. And the woman's child, she was like asking her child. The woman's child. One of the realtors, she was like asking her kid,

like go help be the big sister and help me get this thing together. Then she was like, give me $40. And I was like, that's fucking. What? And the woman was like. $40. The woman like laughed.

But I was like, where did that come from that you think you should have $40 to do a little chore? And what would a kid spend $40 on these days? Okay, and I mean, you know. Lego? Oh, Lego. Well, I mean, that used to be a special trip. You would go to like Toys R Us and be able to buy a Lego set on a special day.

Like you'd see Jeffrey the giraffe. You would. I love Toys R Us. Walking to the bike aisle. Oh my God. But I guess my point is, I used to get walking around money that would be like, maybe I would get a dollar and I could go buy a couple of comic books or something like that. Like what cost $40 that is that equivalent of that?

40 comic books? You know what I mean? Yeah, 40. No, I mean nowadays 10. Well, candy, of course. There's always candy. You can buy a lot of candy for $40. $40 is a lot. I'm saying it's too much. That's what I'm saying. 40 is too much. Like if it was like, no inflation and everything. No, but you could buy a lot of candy with a dollar when we were... No, you couldn't. But with $40, you could buy a lot of candy. God damn you to hell. And I don't even believe in it. But I want you to spend the eternity there. What if I'm there already?

I don't know. I mean, we've we've talked about allowances and I think I was getting $7 a week at one point, which I thought was fantastic. Sure. A dollar a day. I would not mind $7 a week right now. Somebody just gave me free $7. Absolutely. I'll give you $7 a week. You want $7 a week?

If you sign up with a recurring Venmo payment of $7 a week. You have to do some chores around my house. I'm not doing chores around your house. No deal. You have to take, tell you what, tell you what. Every Friday in the afternoon, you have to come over to my house and take my garbage cans in and that's it. Well, no deal for $7 a week. The idea of you doing that makes me so sad. Like, we're $7 a week. I get in my car, put his garbage cans back in and go home.

And then he Venmo's you seven dollars or he walks out and hands you seven singles. Or they're taped to the side of the garbage can. That's it. It's in an envelope. It's in an envelope taped to the inside of the lid of the garbage can. But it's a check so that someone couldn't cash it if they just saw it. Traveler's check.

How much would you do it for? How much would I do that specific chore for? That specific chore for, yeah. Bear in mind I have three garbage cans and you need to go up the driveway with two of them. That is actually the least of it. It's much more than travel. It's the driving over.

No, it's the demeaning nature of the entire thing. But I would do it for $100 a week. You would do it for $100 a. But I would do it for $100 a week. You would do it for $100 a week? I'd do it for a hundred a week, sure. You think whether this is worth it to me. Yeah, well trade off. Or an iPad. An iPad a week.

An engraved iPad. Every week. Every week there's an iPad taped to the car. A branded but also engraved iPad. Yeah. And personalized. Not engraved to someone else, but engraved to you. I wanted to say Scott.

I wanted to say your name. Oh personalized to you, sure. Okay, sure. Dear Scott. Here's an iPad. It says Dear Scott on it. Love Apple. So wait, so you got $7 a week for, and how old were you and what did you have to do for it? That was probably a lot of elementary school.

And like, I think it might've gone up a little bit in middle school, but not really. And then what did I do? I did a lot of- The whole concept of allowance, what is, it's basically just to give your kid like a treat that they want every once in a while or like to teach them how to spend money.

Is that what it is? Yeah, or how to save. I mean, I would get it and it would always go to candy or whatever. Yeah, I don't know what I would spend. I guess I would buy a Beanie Baby because they were $6. That was kind of exciting.

$10 left over for candy. Exactly, or tax. Or every six weeks you could buy a Beanie Baby because they were $6. That was kind of exciting. You have to dollar it over for candy. Exactly, or tax. Or every six weeks you could buy another Beanie Baby. Why every six weeks? Oh, with the dollar. Because they were $6. Yeah. I don't think it was based on like specific chores.

There was no like chore chart, but I did a lot of things. I did the laundry in my house growing up and yeah, I liked it. But you can't even iron a shirt. Well, I didn't have to iron anything. Okay. But I would fold everyone's clothes and put them in their room.

And then like, you know, that was when I did a lot. Other than that, I don't know what else I did. I think that's more than I did already. Yeah. I had to do a lot of gardening. Oh, that seems hard. Like pulling weeds. Yeah. Stuff like that. I feel like I had to do that. I did a lot of gardening. Oh, that seems hard. Like pulling weeds. Yeah, I feel like I had to do that.

I did a lot of sweeping. Sweeping, yeah, I hate sweeping to this day. Of course, shoveling snow in the wintertime. Yeah. Holy shit, in the summertime. Trash cans, absolutely. What else? I'm trying to think. Like we were supposed to,

I was not good at cleaning bathrooms, like, things like that, that required, like, scrubbing, like, real elbow grease. I was terrible at it. Yeah, I sometimes had to do the mirror in the bathroom. Please don't leave. The door's locked. It's just you and me. Just you and me. But, yeah, sometimes I would have to...

That's so creepy. Sometimes I'd have to clean windows or mirrors. I don't like that either. Really any kind of physical... I mean, I had to keep my room clean. And then I liked cleaning stuff. So I liked organizing. So as I've said, I would go in my brother's room and clean his room.

I always liked organizing. I liked cleaning windows because windows felt like it was satisfying. Like cleaning windows was satisfying. Like there's a tangible result at the end. Yes. Yeah. Whereas cleaning the bathroom, disgusting. But cleaning windows is like making a dirty window clean and looking through it is very satisfying for some reason. Right. Yeah. Thank you. Why don't you come over and clean my windows? How much would you do that for? All my windows?

Every single one? That's a lot. No, fuck no. There's no... No? You wouldn't do... There's no amount of money in the world. No.

Let's get a climb. That'd be insane. There's no amount of money. No amount of money. People do... Really? So, what, clean them every week? No amount of money. People do. Really? So it looks like what? To clean them every week?

Ground floor windows only. Every week. That are accessible. No, I don't want to. No. Windows, hall, hall. Take your entire day. Guys, what if we got part-time jobs?

I think about that so often. I think about it a lot. Because you're bored? There's a hat store that I go to that's downtown, this place called Baron Hats. It's a store. There's a house store that I go to. That's downtown. This place called Baron hats. It's a great hat store. They make like hats for movies and stuff like that. You should work there. I have thought I've honestly thought about it because I would love to be able to make a hat. That would be so cool. It would be cool.

I don't think they need anybody. You could be an apprentice. I thought about being an apprentice. Yeah. I feel like you could, I feel like you could get that. I think, I think about Andy an apprentice, yeah. I feel like you could get that. I think about Andy Kaufman just busing tables while he's at the height of his fame. When I think about that, I'm mad. I didn't know about that. It makes you mad?

I think it would be interesting to do, to just put in some time. Although I guess if I were gonna do it instead of it being a job for money, it would be better just to volunteer at a place. That is 100% true. You know what, Lauren, that is the one thing instead of it being a job for money, it would be better just to volunteer at a place. And make it like a thing of service. You know what, Lauren, that is the one thing I thought about, instead of going to church on Sunday,

like making one of the weekend days, like a day of service or something like that. I think that's great. I mean, every time I have volunteered in my adult life, I feel like it's so happy I did it. There's like a lot there, I did, like at the beginning of the pandemic, I volunteered at, or no, it was before the pandemic

because I didn't have a mask on. Yeah, I guess that was before. Just didn't feel that long ago. Were you in the mask? Yeah. Did someone stop you? But I volunteered at the LA food bank and it was such a nice day. And one of- Yeah, we used to do that

with UCB Cool Cool Up started. I remember that. Like the UCB sort of wing of- Oh, she started the volunteer thing? Yeah, yeah, the volunteer thing. And we did it at the food bank for quite a few years where you'd go down and you'd like box up meals and stuff like that.

Which in some ways kind of feels like it's more of a promotional thing because they don't really need your help doing that and stuff like that, which in some ways kind of feels like it's more of a promotional thing because they don't really need your help doing that as much as like I think they wanted everyone to be out there like saying, hey, the food bank is around. Oh, well, we were cooking the meals and then serving them.

Oh, that's cool. Oh, that's great. But then I also, one other organization I really liked that Cool Up, I think, was the one who organized this. It was probably through UCB, the baby to baby place. That's where they give women who- You swap babies? No, it's like they give clothes and diapers to-

Oh, babies give them to each other. Need them. But it's like sometimes volunteering, like I think sometimes volunteering can seem intimidating because I don't know, like I can get, I can get weirdly shy in certain situations. I don't know. But like, but then the things that I've done, I found that like, oh, there's always a task you can do

that isn't, that's within your comfort zone. Like you don't have to do something that is, if you're, if, just as mainly to people out there who are like afraid to volunteer. Cause I do feel like there's like an element of like social anxiety that comes with the idea of volunteering. Yes. Well, also the social anxiety of being in any situation

where you don't know how to do it is very big. Like where you don't just don't know what's going to happen. Like if you can't picture yourself doing something, like if I show up to this place, what are they going to have me do? And there's so many, it just gets to be very paralyzing. Yeah. But like, for example, with the baby to baby charity, like there were people you could see, you could stand there and fold clothes and sort them, or you could like put

boxes together or you could label addresses or you, or there's something that's more hands on with other people. Like, so you could do something by yourself kind of, or get involved with other people. And I think that's like a, kind of, or get involved with other people. I think that's a good thing to keep in mind with that kind of thing. Yeah. I think that's a good thing to do with your kids, too, is just to instill in them a thing.

But I also think we should get part-time jobs. Did I tell you about the guy at the record store who wanted to hire me? No. Recently? OK, so no, no, not recently When I was in college, I would go into this record store a lot and ask for very specific things, you know And be like cool things smart people thing. Hey, what's a cool record? That'll be people cool with all the chicks at Cafe Cordiales Hey, what's a cool record that'll make people cool with all the chicks at Cafe Cordiales? I still don't know the name of that place. The guy behind the counter was in a band that was very influenced by the Wonder Stuff.

They were like a Wonder Stuff ripoff band. In any case, so I would go in there a lot and the owner would see me all the time and at one point he said to me, hey, are you looking for work? Cause you're always in here and you know so much about music and I could use someone like you. And I was like, oh, you know what? I'm in acting college and I don't have time.

And then when I was looking for work, they didn't need anyone. And then I saw him in a mall like the following year and I went up to him and I was like, hey dude, how's it going? Are you still over there at the record store? And he gave me the weirdest answer, which was, uh, I'm not over there currently, but uh, I'm doing well. I can't say what, but uh, don't you worry about me.

I was like, Oh drugs, what is, you just sparked a memory that I'm trying to place right now of when I was walking through the mall. This was like a while, like years and years ago. I was walking through the mall in LA and this guy was like shooting something. Like they were shooting some commercial or I don't know what it was, but he came, God, I can't remember.

It's such a bad story, but I don't care. He came up to me and he was like, trying to, he was like, we had met before, I guess, and he was like trying to like show me how cool he was because he was doing this thing. God, I wish I knew who it was. Oh man, what a bad story. I'm sure it was me.

I've had that same thing. Just you were at the mall and saw a guy. Yeah, okay. There you go. Hey, that happened to me too. It's really relatable. See, I used to love I used to love going to Spencer's gifts. I would go to Plymouth meeting mall. Oh my god. Spencer's gifts. Did you have a needle thing you that you wanted? He wanted to get a fart in a can. I think that needle thing where you would put your hand in it.

And it would. would oh I had that Did you were you mature enough that you didn't put it on your face cuz like we always putting on our sure I did Yeah, I'm sure I did But what's wrong with putting on your face? A million other people have Spencer's still a thing. I hope so. I think it is. There's this one mall in Burbank that is like every store is like something you've never heard of in your life.

Like they're always called, they're called like time space. Like they're just, they all have like weird. Time. There's even an ellipsis. Time. Do you know that mall? That's like in downtown Burbank. They just read, they just read a lot of it, now it has like...

We shot there, it's got the glass elevator, right? The great glass elevator? That was at a hotel that we were at, wasn't it? But it was right near there. Oh no, that's across the street. But yeah, I know which one, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, there's a mall with a glass elevator that we shot a talk show in an elevator

with Andy Dick and Jack Black. That was fun. Oh. With people from the mall just getting on and off during the talk show, essentially. Oh, that's fun. And being the audience for the talk show. It was a funny idea and it never went anywhere. That's awesome.

Yay! Da da da da da da da da. But it's like this mall that's like a dead zone. Like it's like every store is weird. I've never heard of a single one of them. It's sad when a mall goes bad like that. Yeah, it's like, what are we doing here? When a mall spoils.

When a mall Clooney's. Wow. Clooney's. I'm all Clooney. Oh, I get this. That's me, that's me with everything you say. Okay, we have to take a break. I'm just kidding.

Hi, I'm Emily Deschanel. And I'm Carla Gallo and we're here to bring you Boneheads, the official Bones rewatch podcast. 16 years ago, we met on the set of the TV show Bones and have been friends ever since. I played Dr. Temperance Brennan and I played Daisy Wick. We're starting from the top and working our way through all 246 episodes. This show lasted a very long time. Very long. Tune in every Wednesday to laugh with us, to cry with us, to cringe with us and hear hear all our juicy behind the scenes stories. Boneheads from Lemonada Media is out now,

wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, it's me, Ricky Lake. You probably know me from my hit 90s talk show, but if I'm being totally honest, I was juggling so much and didn't have time to stop and think about what truly went into living a full and vibrant life. Well, fast forward to today, I'm 55 and a half years old

and I am happier than ever. And I'm so excited to help you find your joy on my new show, The High Life with Ricky Lake. Together we'll learn new ways to live better. Listen to The High Life with Ricky Lake from Lemonade Media. Out now, wherever you get your podcasts. [♪ MUSIC PLAYING FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES OUT, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC FADES IN, MUSIC F and glasses. And you know what? It's time for a Three-Chur. That's right. We do this every single time and everyone loves it.

Three-Chur is where we play a little game amongst ourselves and you get to listen to it. But you can play along with us. We just can't hear you. This is a game called Text Guess, and it is similar to the famous show Gravid Watcher. But instead of reading one side of a stage play, we will take turns

choosing a text thread from our phones that we're comfortable making public. And believe me, we're not very comfortable with this. We're not. All of them have the names of famous people in them. And we read one side of that conversation, the other two players take turns responding to the texts, or we could turn into a three person group chat, but have to keep the conversation as coherent as possible. Since this is a text conversation, we can also vocalize emojis, memes, or reactions as needed.

Shouldn't we just turn it into like a conversation rather than a text conversation? You know what I mean? Like you're just reading your... Yeah, the conversation, the third, the person reading the thing is part of a... Is talking to us, yeah. I think that's better, yeah.

Because I don't want to read emojis and shit. Okay, here we go. Would you like me to start? Yeah, why not? Or we could start and have you enter. That's maybe better. Oh, that's interesting. Because whatever you say will affect.

Yeah, okay, so let's start. Okay, so, ding-dong. What's up, Liz? I just, I, before Paul gets start. Okay. So ding dong. What's up, Liz? I just, I, I, before Paul gets here. Yeah. I have to tell you that I have some big news that I need to tell him. It's Beth, I'm on route.

Is the earwolf spot open or shall I aim for street? Oh, you're here. Well, you're not on route. I mean, you're here. I hit a little bit of traffic on the one sense, so I'm hoping to get there right at one. Please forgive. No, sweetie, you're here. Are you talking to someone?

Yeah. You're here. Or are you like dictating a text in line? I'm a road warrior. Look, we all know that. That needs no further clarification. But hey, Paul, I, I, I'm so glad you came over because ding dong and I ding dong sort of backing me up, but there's,

there's something that I've been meaning to tell you for a long time. Flight to pod. Yeah. I mean, I think you should, I think you should say it, Scott. I think Paul's gone. Look, I think you've gone crazy and you're saying weird things to us. I'm 900 feet away just merging into sunset off the exit. Okay, it's a metaphor, Scott. She's just... I see, I see. Okay. Look, I want to be closer. I don't want you to be 900 feet away.

So I am here just waiting to pull in. And I am a guy who's here waiting for you to pull in. And I'm here waiting to watch you guys pull into each other. The single lane thing is slowing everything and getting off the freeway. I'll leave the room then. I don't know. I mean, look, I know I'm adding a lot of problems to your dynamic, the dynamic between you two. I want to. I wanna be friends with Ding Dong as well as friends with being you. And I'm sorry that makes you feel like

you're so far away from me. I'm in the lot. Well, I am in the lot of feelings for both Ding Dong and for you, Paul. Elevate her. I'd like to elevate her to a position of being one of my best friends. But it's not going to work out because Paul gets so jealous.

I adore you. Thanks for having me. And also being sweet and hilarious. I love my pin. It stays on my jean jacket. I mean, I'm so glad that I mean,, when I bought you that pin, I was like, is this gonna stay on his jean jacket? And I really was unsure.

So I'm so glad to hear that it actually worked out. He's a better friend than I am because my pin is not on my jean jacket. 100% me. I mean, that is true. You are who you are. It is 100% you. I'm so glad that we could work this out.

Let's all hug. You are the best. Thanks for sending me this. Made your heart for you. I'm so glad that we could work this out. Let's all hug. You are the best. Thanks for sending me this major heart for you. Well, major hurt for you. Get a little closer, though. Ha ha ha ha ha. Oh, OK. I guess we tickle them. That's a little disconcerting. And the best. It is the best.

When three friends love each other, it truly is the best. Thanks, Paul. Thanks so much Paul Picture of a clock at a train station Okay All right, is that the end let's try I have a text that I'm willing to try Okay, I think this time Let's all be characters. Okay.

Okay. All right, Rodolfo, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Well, I have to say, Edward, that I am not. What? Because I'm thinking of donuts. Rodolfo, now I'm thinking of donuts. Rudolpho! Now I'm thinking of donuts. Well then, I am thinking what you're thinking. Oh, look who it is.

Look who it is. It's, uh, what was her name again? I don't know her all that well. Dang dong. What's up, players? Taking a long ride and getting food at some point. It's cloudy but warm. Ooh, that sounds good. That sounds good. Can we ride with you? I'd love to join you. We're heading east, possibly in up in Michigan. Ooh, that's a little bit further than I thought. Yeah, a little farther for me, but I could call in at work maybe and get some time off. I'd love to accompany you.

It's kind of our usual route. Oh, okay. So, is that fast or slow or what do you think? Well, there's not much else to do. I took off today and tomorrow. Oh, so this year- I think there's gonna need a little more time off than that, especially getting back. I need a heads up to tell my boss. Well, I still need to organize my Christmas crap in the playroom and get it back into the attic. Maybe tomorrow, maybe not. Okay, so we might- If we're going on a trip, I don't know how you're going to organize this stuff tomorrow. I need to get off work. I gotta tell people where I'm going.

Are plans fluid at this point? It's so cold in that room that honestly I don't want to go in there. I have too much crap! Well then I would say don't worry about it. We'll just take the trip. But we're going to need at least like five days. But I like it all. Oh, well. I look, if you want to stay here, you know, Edward and I weren't even going to take this trip. That's right. I mean, I obviously you're torn between wanting to organize your Christmas crap

and wanting to take this trip. That's the problem. I use the stuff. Maybe I can just rent decorations. I don't think that's a thing. Renting Christmas for a house. That's the problem. I use the stuff. Maybe I can just rent decorations. I don't think that's a thing. Renting Christmas decorations? For a house? That's weird. I mean, well. That's the best news.

Oh, well, I'm glad. That is weird. I'm happy to deliver that news. Rudolph, we're really doing it. Well, let's go on this trip. What do you say? Dang dong. She's so proud of you.

Who? Who? You're pointing at yourself? Okay. Well, thank you so much. Are you talking about yourself in the third person now, Dang Dong? Well, Ding Dong does do that. Hey!

Well, Ding Dong does that, but not Dang Dong. Very cute show. I love your dress. Thank you. It's my first time wearing one. It's very comfortable and breezy. I was going to say you look great, but I've stopped saying that. Me too.

I prefer cream of mushroom myself. I, for clothes? I don't know how that's going to work out. That sounds disgusting. I do not like polenta. I never said you did. So I don't put words on my mouth, Deng Dong. I don't know that I want to go on this trip anymore, Deng Dong.

I just baked a pound of bacon. Well, you better get to eating it. I'm going home. I mean, you're, you're really leading us on with this trip. I'm a Michelin chef too. What? Congratulations. Wow.

Why don't we just stay here and you can cook for us. That must be good bacon. It's the only way to keep her from starting a grease fire Me who She talking in the third person look what I found oh What wow look at that? That's a me wow I know time flies It sure is it's a beautiful clock. 27 years ago. That's when it was made? Wow.

Oh, it was when you bought it. Oh, yeah. It was made obviously made 52 years ago. How old were you? I was one. I was not born yet. I have a cauliflower at home. I'll practice holding it.

Okay, well. Should we do that too? I need your home address. I'm not giving you my home address. I'll give you mine. It's 123456 Highway Drive. Thanks. You're welcome. We'll see you there or at your place. I drive. Thanks. You're welcome. We'll see you there or at your place. I don't know where we're going.

Or Michigan. Definitely not Michigan. No, I don't want to go. I want to go. Okay. We had so much fun. Can I go? We do have so much fun.

Goodbye, Deng Dong forever. That was a good one. That was fun. That was fun. That was fun. Let me see what I can do. It's hot. Okay. Go ahead, guys. Hey.

Um, what? This is our first day at Hogwarts. I can't believe it. We're going to be wizards. I'm so excited. I've been spending it. We're gonna be wizards. I'm so excited. I've been spending my whole life wondering what I'll be when I grow up. And here I get to already find out and I'm only 12.

I can't wait to get my wand. Same. Yeah, I didn't realize that was the case until the movers pointed it out. Oh, you had movers move you into Hogwarts? Lucky, I had to do it all myself. Me too, I just had a bindle. It doesn't look like a simple pullout

and they aren't comfortable with doing it. Uh, well then you shouldn't have made them do it. I feel like you, I mean, not to be rude, but it feels like you kind of backed them into a corner. Yeah, so you are going to have a baby? Look, if you could come ASAP, that would be great. We're already here. Or did you mean, uh-oh?

Oh, no, God, I hope he didn't mean what I think he means. They'll be done loading up the truck in an hour or so. Hold on a second. What is this sick freak? Who are you? Are you supposed to be here? I'm fine with keeping that same cordless too. I'm sure you are.

Look, hey, you know, we were actually getting to know each other. We're going to be roommates. And I mean, I guess you're one of our roommates too. There is a third bed. I couldn't really tell if you are. But you need to kind of be a little more open. Less creepy.

Yeah. Well, can you walk me through putting it back online? Yeah, it's pretty simple. I mean, the computer's over there. We all share this desktop computer. And you just enter in the password, and then you're online. So it needs to dry out. It hasn't rained for many hours and still offline.

No, it's not. It's not the worldwide wet. It's the World Wide Web. Good one. Well, the unit is completely off. How is it powered? Okay, can you just like look at the manual? I'm sorry, I wasn't expecting to be tech support

my first day at Cardboard. The outlet that has the Christmas lights hooked up to it is dead too, perhaps connected? Okay, well why don't we just like call one of the like super, what do you call it is dead too. Perhaps connected? Okay, well, why don't we just like call us one of the like super, what do you call it? Visors. Yeah, and they can help us. We'll get the house elf to fix it.

So when you hit the best hello, you're not getting anything at all. The doorbell has no power to it. No, when we're getting the best hello, it's when people are being friendly and charming, which you're not being frankly. I'm sorry to be so straight with you. Correct, correct. Okay, so you admit it.

Look, I can come take a look early tomorrow morning. Look, fine. My computer. Just wait, wait. Yeah, okay, okay. Just say fine. I can check the outlets tomorrow. No, that's fine. The outlets are... Whatever you need. What time can I come take a look at it? Okay. Just say fine. I can check the outlets tomorrow. No, that's fine. The outlets are, it's fine.

Whatever you need. What time can I come take a look at it? Anytime you live here. How about, anytime you live here. We're usually up around 7 a.m. Then seven. I'll be there around seven. I won't wake you guys.

You'll already. I'll just take a look. Don't wake us, that's great. Don't wake us. I'll just take a look from the side of the house. Perfect. What, you're gonna go, sure, great. Don't wake us. I'll just take a look from the side of the house. Perfect. What? You're gonna go? Sure. Great. Go outside. Do whatever you want.

Look, I have a feeling Water God in the box and trip the outlet. I have a feeling Water God in your brain and trip the outlet. Yeah, you fucking freak. You don't have to come anymore! Good! Great! I'm not even sexually active. Me neither.

Thank you for offering. We'll keep you updated. Well, we didn't see you. Thank you for nothing. And I did the offer? Good morning and Merry Christmas, Eve. Oh, Merry Christmas Eve. I feel terrible now. I feel bad that we're fighting on Christmas Eve.

The end. Aw. That was fun. We did it. That was good. We did it. Listen, this time, we did it. We really did. This time we truly did not do it.

You're right. Wait, Scott! Conflicting reports! Oh no! I thought we did it! All right, look everybody, this episode is over. Thank you for listening. In the books!

We love you. Please do check us out on Instagram and Twitter at FreedomUSA. And if you have a three-chirp suggestion, please do leave a comment. And if you have a question, please leave a comment. And if you have a question, please leave a comment. Thank you for listening. In the books. We love you. Please do check us out on Instagram and Twitter at FreedomUSA. And if you have a feature suggestion, write it to email us at FreedomUSA at gmail.com. Love you guys, said Scott. Love you, said Scott, all the time.

Like you. Okay. All right. you. Okay. All right. Bye. Bye. This message is brought to you by the Cologuard test. The American Cancer Society recommends that if you are at average risk, you should begin screening for colon cancer at age 45, no matter your race, ethnicity, or gender.

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to Save Us, a podcast about America's child care crisis. This season, we're delving deep into five critical issues facing our country through the lens of child care, poverty, mental health, housing, climate change, and the public school system. By exploring these connections, we aim to highlight that child childcare is not an isolated issue, but one that influences all facets of American life. Season four of No One Is Coming to Save Us is out now, wherever you get your podcasts.