Threedom - Threevisiting: I Renounce Tiger King

Episode Date: January 16, 2024

Threevisiting on the Tues: Scott, Paul & Lauren discuss The Vow, the elephant parable and the Becker theme song before playing Instrumentals. Follow us on social media @threedomusa. Send Threetures a...nd emails to threedomusa@gmail.com. Leave us a voicemail at 424-252-4678 (HAG-CLAIMS-8).

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Starting point is 00:00:00 SREETO! We should do like the Budweiser frog. Three. What are the Budweiser frog say? I don't even remember it. Really? They said Budweiser. They said Budweiser. Yes.
Starting point is 00:00:44 Is that why the call of the Budweiser frog? It sure was. What if you were, what if you were a great commercial like that right now? What if you were forced to be called whatever you said? Like gollum? Like you're like racist? To gollum say gollum. That's why his name was gollum is because he made that noise.
Starting point is 00:01:03 Gollum? Yeah. It actually is because he he's when I actually know this deeply that when Andy Circus would swallow in character, it sounded like Gollum, and he made that part of his thing. He made that part of his thing? Gollum. His original name was Smeagol. Because he was a guy and he got to
Starting point is 00:01:27 Hopeful about that ring and he became nasty. Here's the thing about Lord of the Rings I know you've discussed this by the way welcome to freedom Paul's talking welcome to the freedom Paul's talking The person who said Paul's talking first was Scott and the person who pointed that out is Lauren Yep, and that's the three of us. And we're together. Three them. And now we're we're dim three and a voice. We're the pretzel gang. Of course. That's that's our peanut butter M&M crew. FKA pretzel game FKA. Peter Butter Crew FKA of of three guys. Well, I think we're a K not FKA.
Starting point is 00:02:04 Formerly known as. Yeah, I would say, I would say, um, no, we're, um, familiarly known as, we have many titles like familiarly known as. Yeah. What a difficult thing to say. Familiarly known as the Redsleag egg. Then peanut butter boys. You know a title TK, peanut butter and boys? Title TK. I never knew it until the breeders put out their record and it was called title TK. Oh, it's like where you fit what you're gonna fill in later.
Starting point is 00:02:37 To come is what and it's, it's, yeah, why is it a K? Because I guess T.C. Doesn't look right. Makes you think like taking care. Come C.U.M. I have no idea But even though that one's how it's really spelled C.O.M. I don't know when I read the words C.O.M. I think C.U.M. No matter what the content wait, what were you gonna say when somebody says um I think come
Starting point is 00:03:02 When somebody says gum I think come Somebody says, um, I think come. And somebody says, gum, I think come. And somebody says, three, I think three come. Did you ask me if I wanted to come and cook? Come in my coat. Um, I was saying something. Yeah, what were you saying? I wonder what I was saying.
Starting point is 00:03:18 I wonder. I wonder. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So when I was, when I was a kid, I read all those books. First, I read the Hobbit. Then I read the three, the trilogy. Right. How did you get interested in them? Was it the cartoon or, you know, the rank and do you know what? I don't, it was, I think it was rank and bass, but it was, it was Ralph Bakshi was that the anime. Yeah, Ralph Bakshi.
Starting point is 00:03:40 But I just want to talk. I think I read the book first. And I don't know who turned me onto that. But I remember reading and I loved it. I read like a bunch of times where you ended dungeons and dragons or anything I really I wanted to be a fantasy or no not really not strongly that was it from like I was probably more into sci-fi as a kid than I was into fantasy That was kind of the extent of my fantasy was a fiction of science the hobbit The fiction that's right. I'm a science-denier. You take something a little bit true and make it a little bit fun. You take something a little bit true, make it a little bit fun.
Starting point is 00:04:11 It's like swords, they exist, right? But what if they were lasers? I just want to say alien for the first time, I'm gonna say, which is a little bit of a slight fight. Oh, it's a little alien, a little bit of sci-fi. A little bit of sci-fi. I'm especially the part about the monster from another planet and the spaceship. It was like the part with all like being themselves and I'm like, this is real.
Starting point is 00:04:29 But here's the thing about the Hobbit versus the Lord of the Rings. And this is why it's become so dip like in hearing you talk about the Hobbit movies, which I think I only ever saw the first one. I was so mad that because I didn't realize it was going to be a trilogy as well. Oh really? And it was so they added all this darkness to it that wasn't in the book and it really bothered me. My old friend. Darkness.
Starting point is 00:04:51 He says a little by the way. Oh, thank you. Tom Hiback. Oh, um, was that, it's like, so JRR Tolkien writes this book and it does well. And then he's like, I'm gonna retrofit this element of the book to become this incredibly dark thing that in the original book was just like,
Starting point is 00:05:14 turns you invisible. What's the original book? The original book was the Hobbit first. It was the Hobbit. And so when you're reading this book where Bill will put some of the main. It's just kind of cool where it's like, ooh, it's so packed.
Starting point is 00:05:26 He's just like, oh, nobody can see me. And then in the books, in the subsequent books, the trilogy, Frodo puts on the ring and it's like, this horrible fucking change comes over. It's like this horrible nightmare world. Yeah, I'm gonna make sense. Yeah. But so then I sort of understand that
Starting point is 00:05:44 if you're going to adapt the Lord of the Rings first and then you're like, this is such a huge success, we'll go back and do the Hobbit. But now there's a established world for people that maybe never read the books that it's like, well, I see. So they added, I never saw these. So they added the darkness to the hobbits. Yes, they did. Anytime anyone put a ring on it, they then saw all the zombies or whatever there. I honestly can't remember what happens when he puts the ring on the hobbit. Look, what?
Starting point is 00:06:16 In the hobbit. Why don't we talk to the expert over here? Well, look at it right now. Let's be clear. I will have mixed up all of the movies into one mush. Sure. But what happens when Frodo puts on the ring is that he is going into this kind of disturbing world.
Starting point is 00:06:31 Yeah, everything is black and white. It's like he's invisible, but everything's like, I'm like, I'm like, I think he can like get away with stuff, but like, they're still scary,
Starting point is 00:06:39 so it doesn't feel fun. But in the first cartoon, first cartoon is the only one that I saw and liked, I remember, I remember going like, oh, that's fun. Like, this is a fun thing. This is a fun story. It's fine. I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:06:53 Yeah, it probably doesn't. But I'm coming to it as an adult. I think I maybe as a kid, I would have made it. As a kid, I was like, oh, what a fun story. Like, he falls in that, and I'm paraphrasing this story. Obviously, I'm not reading this currently, but he falls in a hole and sees a weirdo and then puts on a ring.
Starting point is 00:07:08 Why is he reading? Why is he lying? Every page of J.R. or Tolkien's the hobbit. So he falls in a hole and he sees a weirdo. And we watched the Tolkien biopic, by the way. It starts with that line. He falls in the hole. He falls in the hole. He's a whoo, he's talking about you. So he falls in a hole and sees it with weirdo. I open it by the way it starts with that line so fricking
Starting point is 00:07:31 Who he's talking about so he falls it all these are weird. I actually think that is not a bad opening line for a book I agree So he falls in a hole because you're wondering my attention. You're wondering who's he? Yes, are they mids this is the narrator telling a story in the media? Res who knows? A book that starts with so. So he falls in a hole and sees a weirdo. He falls in a hole and sees a weirdo. It's not a bad, I mean, opening lines in books are really hard. Can I do a punch up on that?
Starting point is 00:07:53 Yeah. Anyway, he falls in a hole and sees a weirdo. Anyway, not bad. I got a better one. OK. Can I punch it up? Yeah. However, he falls in a hole and sees a weirdo.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Can I punch it up? Yeah. Therefore, he falls in a hole and sees a weirdo. Can I punch it up? Yeah. Therefore, he falls in a hole and sees a weirdo. Okay, can I punch it up? Yeah. Dusly, he falls in a hole and sees a weirdo. Seems like you're just doing synonyms for more over. He falls in a hole and sees a weirdo.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Moreover is such a word you would use in a school paper to sound like you're smart. Yeah, I'm sorry. There was a... Moreover. Thus, someone played me a tape and I bet you. It's not funny, it would be a via teacher. And your kid gives you, like, the student gives you a paper and it's a...
Starting point is 00:08:29 Moreover. Thus. Thus, maybe. It's just, just, just, just write it in plain language. Stop trying to sound smart. I know you. You'd never say Moreover, thus. Did you ever hear that tape are mutual friend
Starting point is 00:08:44 played of the guy, the English actor? A mutual friend Jeffrey Epstein. Remember when we were on the little thing? He played that video. Guys, you gotta see this. What is this English actor saying? How and ever. Do you remember this at all? I don't want to say who it is. That sounds familiar. But instead of saying however, this English actor was trying to sound smart, so he's like, how endeavour, hi. And the guy was like an interview? No, it was a secretly taped thing.
Starting point is 00:09:14 That's why I can't say what it is. I'm not even worried. I remember exactly what it is. The person didn't even know they were being taped and they were talking like that. Yes. How endeavour. That's bad. Did you ever record it some moment? They didn't know.
Starting point is 00:09:27 No, I will say. I don't think that- Your eyes started turning around. I really, I got scared like, have I done that? I record it. I recorded it. I don't know if you know what. I don't know what it said.
Starting point is 00:09:37 For how long? It's for months. I've recorded someone on the phone before. Yes, I I think it was legal. I did do it. I told them. Well, if you were in Vegas or New York, then it was. Okay. I was. So so basically cool up. Cool up was was in a big dispute with basically cool love. Basically cool up. Was it a dispute with. Basically. We go up was it just be a weird land low basically fell in a hole. It's all weird I'm more over basically she then basically she fell in a hole so we basically I
Starting point is 00:10:16 Basically got a card to avoid basically she figured out how So she got into a dispute with her landlord over her deposit or something like that and where her landlord wasn't going to give her the deposit back. Even even know she was odored or whatever. You don't say that to cool up. No, no, no. So I said, you know what, I'm going to call her, but I'm going to tape record the conversation so that we have it in case anything goes weird. But what I found was, I said, oh, hey, by the way, I'm tape recording this conversation and she was so nervous and she went,
Starting point is 00:10:50 uh, yeah, okay. I am too. That she, that it totally resolved the situation. Wow. Oh my God, that's a good tactic. Yeah. And so it's a really good tactic if you're ever going to dispute to go like, oh, by the way,
Starting point is 00:11:03 I'm tape recording this conversation just for, you know. It really shows you feel pretty confident, you're right. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But not to get into the vow. Yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, I have this story.
Starting point is 00:11:17 I have this story. Talk about it. Basically falling into a hole and seeing a weirdo. Yeah, that's exactly what happened to those people. I do kind of want to watch seduce on stars, which I heard is the way better version of the vow, which tells much more of the story. But I'm also kind of like,
Starting point is 00:11:29 I don't really want to hear anymore about this. This integral, this integral king are things I feel like I would much rather know that people are talking about it than watch it. I wish I had watched Tiger King. I wish I could take that back. Yeah, you can. Look man, we were all desperate.
Starting point is 00:11:43 I went out, Tiger King, and all this works. We were desperate for entertainment and normalcy. We were. Dance-Tacker king. I wrote an Out-Syka king and all this works. We were desperate for entertainment and normalcy. And it was right there and it was easy. What I'm not gonna watch it. I'm not gonna watch it. But with the vowel, I sort of have this theory that because it came out, if you've all only watched the violin that's only information you know, it came out that there's way worse stuff even than that. That this man has done while now he's in jail for life
Starting point is 00:12:05 and it's very deserved. But in the show, he's recorded all the time and he's telling people, record him all the time. He's like, they're tape recording every conversation they have filming it. So there's tons of footage of him just waxing poetic while his fucking bullshit. By the way, I truly would be like, you make no sense.
Starting point is 00:12:22 Like there are so many times where someone could have easily challenged anything he was saying. But he claims to be the, you make no sense. There were so many times where someone could have easily challenged anything he was saying because but he claims to be the smartest person in the world. There's truly, he's delusional. But. It's good for a documentary though to constantly be recording this. Well, but my point is that this should start doing this.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Okay, fine. So we can get a documentary about this podcast. Well, honestly, at a point on the comedy band, Bang TV show, I was like, this would, making this show would be really fascinating. Yeah, we should, I wish we could hire a crew to like follow us around while we make an episode or whatever to put it as an extra on one of the DVDs. But like, so, but then Bruce Springsteen is constantly recording every aspect of his of making every. Yeah, but well, I just watched his really good documentary letter to you
Starting point is 00:13:04 about his new record. And it's like, Bruce Springsteen's I just watched his really good documentary letter to you about his new record. And it's like, His wrist rings is listening, it was really good. But it seems like every album he's made, like a camera crew comes in and there's all this amazing footage from back. Well, it does feel like, you know, oh, from even the old days.
Starting point is 00:13:17 Yeah, even the old days. Oh, that's awesome. And it's like, cheese. I should just get a camera crew. Yeah. Anyway, go ahead. Well, I just wanted to say that I felt like it might have been one of his manipulative tactics
Starting point is 00:13:27 to record all of the passable stuff and be like, I'm always on recording. And then the second the cameras go off, he's literally having sex with children. It's so hard to imagine. You're an horrifying thing. Yeah. That like, it says if he's kind of set it up to be like, look, I'm an open book. I have a video of everything I've ever said and then of course there's this really dark backstory. Yeah. Why do are the people who fell into a dumb like do they explain that or you got to watch this because
Starting point is 00:13:57 like what's your name from smallville? Alison. She's off her rocker. Wow. Yeah. So it's just a bunch of it. She slowly believes in this and she's a couple of lunatics. In other words, like a lot of times you feel bad for people like, no, they're not all lunatics. They're all people who are in need of something. And so they were susceptible to a cult, which I I don't think that's like, I'm needed or something. No, but I'm saying they get so it's a real there, but for the grace of a lot, they get so swept in and swept up in it
Starting point is 00:14:25 that they don't realize it's weird, but I think one of the things that's weird about the vow is that by the time it is, you know, they realize how messed up it was and all this stuff, they still think the cult stuff was good. Like, they're still kind of going like, yeah, but the teachings and like all the things we learned and like these, my sashes and it's like,
Starting point is 00:14:43 no, no, no no it was all that. Yes. Well it's all connected to the back. But if something makes someone feel better, that part of it might be good. I mean like you look at Scientology like although we don't want to be talking about that properly on a recording. Well I don't even know anything about it really. I haven't I haven't really watched things about it. Or more any religion, Mormonism or whatever. Sure, we're in a system of belief. Or any religion, Mormonism, or whatever. Sure, we're in a system of belief. Or people who even like the Long Island medium,
Starting point is 00:15:10 or if you think, oh, this makes me feel better, but therapy is kind of a different thing than those things. Yeah, although I will say that when in growing up, I was thinking about this the other day, that my parents didn't believe in therapy, and so when it looked like someone in my family needed it, they were like, well, only if it's a Christian therapist. What?
Starting point is 00:15:35 And it's just like, but now I think they would be like, it's such a different time than 1985. Yeah, I do think people talk about that. Nowadays, I think people would be like, oh yeah, that's fine. I think it's the same. I think it's pretty much the same, except for phones. I think that's it. TVs are flatter, you have to admit that.
Starting point is 00:15:52 Nuh-nuh-mouse! Wait, you have, we got a nice round TV, baby. Round one, the sphere. Why don't they make spherical TVs? So you can watch it from anywhere in your room. That's what a flat one is. That's what a flat one to think of. Is fear is flat? No.
Starting point is 00:16:11 No, I introduce you to the earth. But you can watch a flat TV from anywhere in the room. Scott said, I mean, I introduced you to the earth. Yes, I can't if it was flat against the wall. I'm so triumphant. Wait, he's arguing that you can't see a flat screen TV from anywhere in the room. Where can't you see it from behind? From behind it from behind the wall a sphere you could I'm saying if you're like
Starting point is 00:16:34 Have you ever gone? You're saying to put a wall that the TV is on to do something and you can't sure But I mean it's totally sure like torture. Who's saying it's torture? That close to the wall. You have to go up and do a thing. I'm saying to these three things. I still can't see what happened on the show. And so you got to be back.
Starting point is 00:16:52 TV should be spheres that are lowered like disco balls in the center of your room. Disco balls. Disco balls. Can I make a PSA? Yeah, please. Actually, it's about secretly recording people because I just saw this Instagram.
Starting point is 00:17:04 Please do it. I thought was worth sharing the knowledge because this woman realized she was being filmed in her Airbnb. And the camera looked like a phone charger plug where you'd plug your USB into and you pull out the wall and you see there's a little um, micro chip inside it. Dang. And it's, you know, I have to say little microchip. That's redundant. A teeny tiny little microchip. There's this gigantic microchip. But anyway, you can tell that if that it is one because when you turn over the thing,
Starting point is 00:17:36 there's like a little hole for like a, Wait, this is a friend of yours? No, it was a woman I saw on Instagram and then everyone was sharing it. So she, she was recording people? No, she was singing Airbnb and realized after, you know, spending a few days there, oh my god, I've been filmed this whole time. The cops did nothing about it because she's on that person's property and it's kind of like the laws are confusing. Then that guy's Airbnb was removed, but that doesn't really resolve it.
Starting point is 00:18:01 It's crazy. I mean, these microchips are so small. You got it, where you got him hidden? Where you got him hidden in your house? He's got him hidden everywhere. Have microchips gotten too small? Tonight at 9.11. Do you see that? Tonight at 9.11.
Starting point is 00:18:18 Do you see that Boston news report on video game machines popping up everywhere in Boston? This is from 1982, I think. And it was, I think Dan Rather, it was national news. It was a national story, but it was set in Boston, like, Dan Rather introduced it and it was like talking about how there were, I'm getting the math wrong, but there are like 100,000, 100,000 people in Boston, and there are like a hundred thousand a hundred thousand people in Boston and there are
Starting point is 00:18:46 40,000 video game machines like the like the ratio was that doesn't make any sense and they're like they're issued they're everywhere and so they were introducing laws to get rid of them in certain properties and then these people's excuses were like you know, old women have the right to go do their laundry in a laundry mat and not be, uh, not be being made fun of by these punks who are sitting there on the, on playing the video games. That was the reasoning for it. I love when I was a kid, I loved going to a laundromat to play defender and make fun of old ladies. Yeah. Look at it. Do it a lottery. But it was why you watching it closed.
Starting point is 00:19:27 You're almost dead. It was it was never about, hey, these video games are a waste of time or they're sapping people's brains. It was always about the types of people who were congregating playing. Yeah, the punks. It's always about punks. Every complaint in the city hall is always about punks. They're saying I I hate the Queen and... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha after her is it Prince Charles Charles. He's excellent. But the cause of crazy is that he's going to refuse the throne.
Starting point is 00:20:06 Why? Oh, really? I didn't know that. Yeah, that he doesn't want to be king. Why wouldn't he? It's like it's still going to be a few more years. He's finally going to start his acting career. How will you see?
Starting point is 00:20:15 Oh, God. I don't know. Well, it's strange. Is it like 70? I guess I thought he was way older. When Princess Diana got married to him in the 80s, it seemed like he was going to be king soon. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Everyone thought. And she has just held on. Yeah. Longest, longest-raining monarch. Really? Yes. She be- Okay, so she be 71, and she's 94.
Starting point is 00:20:36 Mm. Dang. But Prince Philip, he doesn't become any- No, no. Wait, so if he abdicates in charge, who gets- He remains a living corpse. If Charles abdicates a child, who gets... He remains a living corpse. If Charles abdicates, then I guess it's one of the, one of the sons.
Starting point is 00:20:50 One of his sons? Probably William. Yeah. No, Harry left. Yeah, wouldn't, well, Harry would be, he would only be King, I think, if William died. Right, but I mean, he's, he's out of the right hand. He's out of it.
Starting point is 00:21:02 He left. But what about the very own black woman? What about our friend from the Lilith Express? He lives in LA and they have a Netflix deal. Do they live here? Yeah. I thought they moved to Canada. I thought they moved to Canada too.
Starting point is 00:21:13 They have both maybe. Get yourself a girl who can do both. Canada and the USA. But what about our friend from the Lilith Express? What about him? What'd you say? Oh no, he's a spare. It's like, it's the, um, I apologize to our friends from the Lilies friends? What about him? What'd you say? Oh no, he's a spare. It's like, it's the, I apologize to our friends in England.
Starting point is 00:21:29 I know nothing about the Mariner. The line of succession, I believe, goes generation to generation. It only moves laterally, I think, if someone dies, if the air dies. Right, okay. They live in Manacito. Okay, wow.
Starting point is 00:21:43 I'm just telling you. Let's go see them. I'd love to go visit them. Ding dong! It's just a couple hours away. She's got the perfect thing. She got to marry Prince Harry. She got the royal wedding.
Starting point is 00:21:55 She had a royal wedding. She got to be royalty. And then she gets to be an actor. She's like one of the people. Do you think she's going to continue acting? She already was doing a voiceover in a Disney documentary about elephants. Nice. About pro elephants or anti elephants. It's pro.
Starting point is 00:22:11 Is it true? It's not an expose about elephants. Is there two hours of that documentary? Is it based on if you feel different parts of the elephant? You think it's something different, like a snake in a like in a haunted house? They did get you don't know that story of the old terrible. He blind man, free blind man elephant standing in a haunted house and you walk and he goes, that's snake and then you touch the next part of like grapes. Yeah, you're touching the elephant's face. I think it would be catalogs. Why is it testicle? It's crazy an elephant's eyes.
Starting point is 00:22:50 You're touching a ball for little testicles. Ball for little testicles. What is it though? You think is a tree? Is that what it is? Something's the, the, the feet you think is a tree? Is that what it is? Something like that. I don't know. I can't.
Starting point is 00:23:09 The trunk is a snake and the ears are like, am I touching a fan? I can't, I thought it was all animals, but I don't remember. Yeah, I don't know. Anyway, it's a great old parable. It's a great old parable. You really should read it. It's so fun. It's a GOP.
Starting point is 00:23:24 What are you reading, Lauren? You're on your phone. I was looking up elephant parable. Oh! The parable of the blind, but an elephant originated. Okay, so let's see. There's a cartoon that might break it down a little faster. Oh great. An elephant is like a big snake. Actually, no, it's a tree stump.
Starting point is 00:23:39 What are you saying? It's like a sheath of leather. You're all wrong. It's actually like a little furry mouse. Is that the testicles? So the idea is, if you're not seeing the whole thing, you don't get the whole picture. Yeah, exactly. Like if you're only, yeah. And also the less nervous,
Starting point is 00:23:53 blind people are unreliable narrators. You're just going to be wondering. Just stand up and tell. You wonder why Stevie Wonder is not narrating any documentary. He's unreliable. He's just curious about it. Oh, it's in stand-up.
Starting point is 00:24:03 It was Deon Cole's stand up clip. That was on Instagram about how Stevie Wonder stole the girl he was with. Deon Cole? Yeah. Interesting. He brought her to a Stevie Wonder show and then she went back because Stevie wanted to talk to her and then she gave him a lot of Stevie needs me and then she gave him cab fare. Wow. He said, of course, Stevie gave me. Needs me. I saw Stevie recently within the last couple of years and it was me and a bunch of people and we were like, is that Stevie Wonder because I think he shaved. And we were like, we think it's Stevie Wonder
Starting point is 00:24:34 or it could be a guy who really looks like Stevie Wonder. And it took us about a half an hour and so we all decided with 75% certainty it was Stevie Wonder. And what was this person doing? Who was singing superstition? On a concert stage. He was kind of waving his head from side to side. He's got a Stevie Wonder concert.
Starting point is 00:24:54 Is that Stevie Wonder? That kind of looks like Stevie Wonder. And my don't laugh at me, is this weird? That kind of looks like Stevie Wonder. I know I feel so crazy because honestly, that kind of looks like Stevie Wonder. I know I feel so crazy because honestly, that kind of looks like Stevie Wonder. I don't, I'm not trying, I don't know. It might not be.
Starting point is 00:25:08 It's right there in the name. What do you look like him? I wonder, is it Stevie? Wanda, Wanda. So what was the man doing? Remember fish called Wanda? Where he's like, Yeah.
Starting point is 00:25:19 Wanda. And then he's in court and everyone is wondering why he said that because he's not supposed to know Jamie Lee Curtis. So he goes, Wanda, Wanda, I Wanda! What would be the... I don't remember that.
Starting point is 00:25:31 I haven't seen that movie since it came out. It's so funny. I actually started watching it and I was like, this is what this is. What did you think it was about a fish? I think I always thought it was soap dish, which I've also never seen. But I just like was so confused that it was like, what else do you think is soap dish?
Starting point is 00:25:48 Soap that for the future. What does Lauren think is soap dish? I can name so many things. I've never seen soap dish. I've never seen soap. I've never seen really a fish called one. I guess I did start to watch it, but I got bored. Soap was a big thing when I was a kid. It was a very scandalous show. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:07 And we were, we were like the only kids that we knew that were allowed to watch. Yeah, we were not allowed to watch it. And was it a drama? No, nobody. It's a comedy parody of so many. Oh, yeah, it's a movie or a show. It was a television show. But and it was a once a week thing wasn't unlike Mary Hartman. Yeah, it was because Mary Hartman was like five days a week. It was, oh, that's right. That was weird.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Isn't that weird? But it was a once a week thing and Billy Crystal played a gay character. And I think that was a big reason why, you know, yeah, yes, yes. But Benson is a spin off of it. Benson was the butler. Benson. Doug Benson. Is this a spin off? Doug. Benson was the butler. Benson. Doug Benson. Is this a spin off? Doug Benson played by a wrong appeal.
Starting point is 00:26:49 I know I'm wrong, but all I can think of is that Ted Danson show. Oh, that's it. That's it. That's Becker. Becker. Did you ever see the video of the guy, I know this guy,
Starting point is 00:26:59 the guy dancing to the Becker theme for an hour? No, what is that? What is the Becker theme? an hour. No, what is the Becker theme? It's pretty even tell you it is the most generic sort of 90s sitcom theme. There's no words exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:27:16 By the way, judge Judy. Her theme, she's so fucking smart because her theme is just public domain like classical music. She didn't even wanna pay for a theme, she's such a penny-pinter. Yeah, it's like. Oh, becker. I mean, how can you listen to this and not think? Becker. This is the judge Judy theme song.
Starting point is 00:27:58 Don't rickroll us. I won't. Didn't I do it to you the other day? Yeah. You did. Over a text chain. Okay, this is the Judge Judy. Why is it not playing? Oh, I need to turn it off.
Starting point is 00:28:10 Because you're stupid. No, no, no, no. Oh, yeah. But wait. Isn't that Walter Murphy's a fifth of Beethoven? No, no, no. Well, it's Beethoven. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:24 It's not the recording of Walter Murphy's with the Beethoven, if that makes it. I like, he took classical music and did it. I know what he did. So, I mean, she paid for this recording. So she probably was like, You know what I like? That's it, the Beethoven.
Starting point is 00:28:39 Do that. Well, I don't even think it was an aesthetic choice, like Larry David doing the curb your enthusiasm thing where it's like, I like that piece of music. even think it was an aesthetic choice, like Larry David doing the curb your enthusiasm thing where it's like, I like that piece of music. I think it's funny. That's a public domain. I think those are all like rear like killer tracks. The curb music is all like, like you can just buy it online.
Starting point is 00:28:58 What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But I think he just likes that. He likes that. I think he liked that piece of music because he was like, that says what I want to say about the show. Judge Judy, I think doesn't want to pay a royalty every time her show is on the air.
Starting point is 00:29:12 So she took public domain music and paid someone like $500 to make that recording of it. I mean, so it's what essentially Walter Murphy's for the bitch over without the thing that Walter Murphy added to it. Right. Yeah. I think attitudes F added to it. Right. Yeah. I think attitudes FKA throwing shade had a public domain tune because I would hear it on other things every once in a while. Yes, it was the theme for the sloppy boys sketch show, not the sloppy boys.
Starting point is 00:29:36 The birthday boys. Oh my God. And there was also something else though, like even like an ad or something that I heard. That would happen to us on the Bang Bang television show where, because, because I was very involved in the scoring of the thing, like, I, and we would constantly be looking for music tracks. I'd go, this one doesn't work. Let's find something sort of like this.
Starting point is 00:29:55 So I spent a lot of time on that. I would get to know every track that was used on everything. And I would notice them pop up in, in advertisements a lot. Well, have I talked to you about the, Kate, the baby's cry from Arthur the cartoon? No. This was like an obsession of mine. I'm clenching my fist, by the way.
Starting point is 00:30:13 I'm clenching my fist, by the way. Oh yeah, it's your Arthur fist. Well, when I was a kid, I noticed that the baby always cried the same way every episode. And then I started, and I just noticed like why, she always has this cry, it's like this, this, this, like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then I started, if we were just gonna put your chair
Starting point is 00:30:33 in the pool, Paul is moving his entire body. His son is killing me. I started hearing another things, and then I looked it up and it's basically like the Wilhelm scream, but it's a cry. Right. So is it see this is I got very upset at our editors for putting the will because I didn't know what the Wilhelm scream was. What it is if anyone out there doesn't know is that it's this one specific
Starting point is 00:30:57 like from a cowboy movie I think. Yeah from back in the 30s where someone goes oh and then you'll it's like a basically free thing you can use. So everyone needs to see it. And you'll put it in as like an inside joke. And so we, my editors put it in three times in one sketch. And I didn't know what it was. So I just was like, three times in one sketch.
Starting point is 00:31:14 Yeah, so I was just like, oh, okay. They're like putting in screams. Then after the episode went up, they were like, we used the will I'm scream for that. And I was like, you got to tell me stuff like this. Right. Like because now there's like weird jokes. It's like a joke you don't know.
Starting point is 00:31:26 Yeah, I didn't I didn't want. Anyway, yeah. Well, the baby thing is real. And I, someone I had someone who are we talking about a podcast and it linked me to this. There's like a whole. Play that baby. Well, let me see if I can figure it out.
Starting point is 00:31:39 But oh, no, we can't have you on your phone. And Paul moving his chair at the same time. But there is. I'll have to talk continuously. There is some sort of your your phone and Paul moving his chair at the same time. But there is no. I'll have to talk continuously. There is some sort of... You're your toe, Paul? Does anyone care? Get back on mic and tell us about your toe.
Starting point is 00:31:50 I just hit my toe with the chair. No. There is a sort of database of this stuff. These sound effects and like, it's a whole world, okay? It's a whole thing. It's new. Let me hear if I can get you there. Shut your ears. Let's see whole thing. It knew. Let me hear if I can get you there. Shut your ears.
Starting point is 00:32:06 Let's see if this is right. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah There was shit. Oh, shit. Please don't do us. Please don't do us. Sound effects. Ask how please don't do us. There's a whole YouTube thing that I did watch at some point about this cry. And it's on Reddit if you're interested. You are bored. Well, I also did a whole bunch of T.E. You got deep in the thing.
Starting point is 00:32:38 I did a show years ago with Karen Kilgarif and Eben Schletter called voiceovers the top, which was a live show that we did. We did a sort of thrilling adventure over style, but way before that show where we held the scripts, we did it like a radio play and it was about a married couple who were both voiceover artists and amateur detectives. And so they used their voiceover skills to self-crimes. But all the crimes were, they were not, they were like these delusional people and they weren't real crimes.
Starting point is 00:33:14 But we had a lot of sound effects that Evan would play on a laptop. One of the sound effects was a door opening. Three, eight. Yes, that I've heard in so many things. So many things. It is honestly really annoying when you start to notice something like this. Yes, well.
Starting point is 00:33:32 And that's what I mean about the cry. It's not that I want to dive deep on this. It's that I can't help it because when I hear it, I feel kuku bananas because I know it's that baby from that cartoon, but it's also a real kid in a sitcom. And it's this, it's this, it's this. I forget what movie it was, but there's like a director like Spielberg
Starting point is 00:33:50 who essentially said, hey, we need to start recording our own sound effects of like guns and stuff for this movie because every movie had just been using the sound effects library for guns for so long, and they were like, no, it's like 1984, let's record new stuff. And it starts to sound like nothing. Yeah, well, like, so any movie pre-85 or 86 just has these like,
Starting point is 00:34:14 like sound effects for, you know, we have to get pretty good. I shot my gun. All right, we need to take a break. I shot my gun. We'll be right back. Yeah. I'm not back. If you said we weren't back, we're back. We're back.
Starting point is 00:34:29 We're back. Look, we are definitely back. You can't say we are not back. If you said we weren't back, we're back. We're back. We're back. We're back. We're back.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Look, we are definitely back. You can't say we are not back. If you said we weren't back, we're back. We're back. We're back. We're back. Look, we are definitely back. You can't say we are not back. If you said we weren't, you'd be wrong. You're a liar. You're a goddamn liar. Yeah. Where are you like that? Why are you like that? Why are you like that? Did you ever see the movie? What was it called? Kurt Russell's wife gets abducted by a trucker over board? No.
Starting point is 00:35:07 Oh, wait, I thought you were talking about Goldie on. You mean his wife in the movie? I couldn't think of who Goldie on was. The Kurt Russell's wife. I call any actress by their husband's wife. Sure. Tim Robbins girlfriend. any actress by their husband's wife. Sure. Tim Robbins girlfriend.
Starting point is 00:35:27 He and when we think about them, never getting married and Goldie Han and well, like Goldie Han's married. Did I think they are married? I think they are married. I thought they never did. Look it up. Laurie. Look.
Starting point is 00:35:41 Hey, can I say, Laurie, that's so weird. No, they're not married. They're not married. But she's been married twice before, so maybe that's why. Yeah. Can I say while I'm thinking of it, a story I want, or a fact I wanted to tell in our last episode when we were talking about weddings and the fact that how weird it was. Sure, right after I say the thing that I wanted to say.
Starting point is 00:36:00 No, no, just while I'm thinking. Do you want to hear her reason for never getting married? I brought up the, yes, sure. I would have been long you want to hear her reason for never getting married? I brought up the yesha. I would have been long divorced if I'd been married. Marriage is an interesting psychological thing. If you need to feel bound to someone that it's important to be married. If you have independence, if you have money and a sense of independence,
Starting point is 00:36:13 you like your independence, there's something psychological about not being married because it gives you the freedom to make decisions one way or the other. Who'd that? That's Goldie Hawn. That's Goldie, so she's not married. Right. She's been married two times
Starting point is 00:36:23 and then she married, she didn't marry him because of all those reasons. But it should be, you know, that's the reasons for me. Totally. Totally. No, it sounds really like- I love when people present a thing like that where they know everything that they're- You know what's another one?
Starting point is 00:36:36 Shakira. Shakira won't marry her longtime boyfriend. Shakira Shakira. Well, okay, what we're going to say? So in this movie- Actually, I was talking to you. Too bad. Go ahead, talk about the movie
Starting point is 00:36:49 and I'll tell the thing that I was gonna tell. While I'm talking about the movie. So this movie, Kurt Russell is married to this lady. They are on the road. Um, their car breaks down it's something. You're just trying to figure out what it about movie it is.
Starting point is 00:37:03 This trucker, no is this trucker no this trucker abducts the wife car also has to get his wife back breakdown breakdown breakdown so he at one point he gets in the cab of this truck and he's got a knife I think it's a fucking butter knife that's not knife This is my favorite. So. You talking to me? He. Are you talking to me? To me. To me. I want when he drops the knife on the floor of the cab,
Starting point is 00:37:36 the truck cab, the noise is so loud. It's just a butter knife that he drops on a carpeted car floor. Car carpeted instead is like, clang, clang, clang, clang. It's so loud. It's just a butter knife that he drops on a carpeted car for. Carpet instead is like, clang, clang, clang, clang. It's so fucking loud. You expect the driver of the cab to say, what? Is my cab mic?
Starting point is 00:37:52 He was doing it secretly. He accidentally drops the knife. And it's supposed to be a tense moment. Like, oh no, he drops the knife. But the noise is so loud, you think the tense moment is, well, surely that guy heard that. Yeah. It's fucking right.
Starting point is 00:38:04 It was reverberating throughout this truck. I think like the sound people go overboard sometimes, and I'm sure somebody probably probably heard that. Another goalie, huh? Overboard. Not another one, the same one you mentioned before. Oh, that's right.
Starting point is 00:38:16 It's actually the one you know up here. Look, I love her overboard. By the way, she's amazing. And I just want to just become sir. Yeah, I did do on your recommendation. I loved it. Have you seen that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:28 I loved it. I never seen it in my whole life. And I think because when I would go to the video store, I was kind of freaked out by the cover. And it's like she's holding her head in her hand or something. So I never really got what it was. And it's so hilarious.
Starting point is 00:38:41 They're both so funny. It's like a real female comedy, which I didn't know loved it. It's good, I'ma do a house once. You did? Where was it? Well, I guess not where, why was it? Was it a weird commercial? Well, that's my question, but I didn't mean to say that on top. No, I filmed something with a carousel.
Starting point is 00:38:57 You can see it online, it was the We Are the World thing. And so I went to their house and I was like, well, this is what the second COVID started, and you were like, we should all do a We Are the World video. Together. Okay, you were like, we should all do a We Are the World video together. Okay, so, so based on. Was your house really cool? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:15 How could it suck? So, Creep walls. No, for every one where you straight. Jack, it smells like who? I was locked up for 15 years there. You didn't could a goldie on.
Starting point is 00:39:33 So based on my DJ, how weird it was that he thought my wedding was a Friday night. So weird. But um. This is a story based on how the DJ. Well no, just it's been off story. No, it's just I thought of this. I was like, no, just it's been off story. No, it just I thought of this. I was like, oh, I want to talk about this. But I forgot it.
Starting point is 00:39:47 So the weirdest, the weirdest lie I ever told to, to, to, uh, it turned. And it was that you're wetting. I do, I do, I quote, do one quote. Um, no, but I was, I was trying to get out of seeing my wife. Uh, this, this, my wife. This my wife or a head. Really goes overboard.
Starting point is 00:40:08 By the way, he goes way over where he says my wife. It really made me laugh. It's really funny. I was like glad to have you back. I think he is really brilliant. His speech that he made recently was so amazing. I so I don't share that. I don't know where it was, but I thought it was really interesting. At the speech convention. Yes, where
Starting point is 00:40:28 everyone gets to make a speech. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. All right, everyone in the world. Top of your choice. So we good so we're all half an hour to. That's right. Cats. Here we go. Give me a break. I did once do a bit where I just sang, give me a break over and over again, until people got mad and then got happy again and then got mad again. I kind of love those things.
Starting point is 00:40:51 Yeah, it's online, unfortunately. I'm going to have a fortune at least. Me and Jimmy part of those, baby, it's cold outside. You also keep going into the morning. Well, we just, we just sang, I really can't stay, baby, it's cold outside. And then I go, I really can't stay baby. It's cold outside and then I go I really can't stay Oh, baby. It's cold outside. I really can't stay so we just keep saying then what else? Oh, oh
Starting point is 00:41:12 And then after that, okay Catch on so the weirdest I catch on The weirdest lie and I and I didn't know anything about weddings because I think I was too young What even is this thing? But I didn't I didn't know how about weddings because I think I was too young. What even is this thing? But I didn't know how they worked or whatever, but it just seems antiquated. So this girl I was dating was saying, hey, do you want to hang out Sunday night?
Starting point is 00:41:33 Well, you were dating a girl, but you didn't know anything about weddings? What do you think you have to know about weddings if you're dating a girl? If you're going to engage upon kissing, you better know about the wedding part. Because you are basically signing up to do it. How old are we talking about?
Starting point is 00:41:47 I'm like 25 or something. No. I mean, you didn't know about that. What do you mean by that? You never been to a wedding? I'm not saying I don't know what a wedding is. What are you saying? What are you saying?
Starting point is 00:41:58 Scott, you're all over the place. I'm saying his mumbo jumbo. It took how many episodes and he's very pissed. No, Paul is unreasonably handsome. Okay. Thank you. But you know how you know how it are wedding. There were two people who have to say you got to stop saying that because people get confused.
Starting point is 00:42:19 I cool up in my wedding. I love her how they were. I love when Janie says my wedding in front of me. Yeah. Yeah. Or my house.ie says my wedding in front of me. Yeah. Yeah. Or my house. Yeah. Boy, that one gets me.
Starting point is 00:42:29 I said it's called the bedroom. I call it the bedroom my room. Oh, get me in my room. I don't know why. You know how it at cool up in my wedding, there were two people who wanted to bring women that they met on Facebook. Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Were they wedding crashers? No, they were people who wanted to bring women that they met on Facebook. Yes, yes, yes. Were they wedding crashers?
Starting point is 00:42:47 No, there were people who were invited, and they invited, or they got a hold of us and said, hey, can we bring these two girls we met on Facebook who are flying in to hang out with us over the weekend? And I was like, no. And they were like, well, we're just not gonna come then. They were like unreasonable about it because they were young and then they got older
Starting point is 00:43:08 and one of them got married and was like, oh, by the way, I cannot believe I did that to you because now they know about weddings. Oh, yeah. Okay, that's what I'm talking about is I was like 25 and didn't really, you know, I'd been to weddings but had never thought about them for myself so I had no idea.
Starting point is 00:43:22 You know, they had a kid at the end of the house. Or what goes into it. Yeah, I never thought about the months myself. So I had no idea. You don't know the etiquette, the end time. Or what or when goes into it. Yeah, I never thought about the months that they occur in. The period and the regime. Bye bye. Bye bye. For it. So this one was like, do you want to hang out with me Sunday night?
Starting point is 00:43:35 And I was like, oh, I can. I'm going to a wedding. And she was like, a wedding on a Sunday night. And I was like, oh shit, do they not happen on Sunday night? I never really thought about it. It could. It could, but like no one ever does. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:51 So I was like, oh yeah, they're on traditional I guess. And they just thought it was cheaper, I guess, to do it. And then I got caught in this web of lies where I really obviously. Oh, you are never going to a wedding. No, I wasn't going to a wedding. I was just I was just trying to come up with an excuse.
Starting point is 00:44:08 I forgot the premise. Me too. Me too. I know. Can you imagine such a thing happening on this show? Well, that's you at the your city. They're looking like I'm crazy when I'm talking. And you're the one who has forgotten.
Starting point is 00:44:26 Now is is forgetting things crazy? Or is being 25 and saying, after some wedding on a Sunday crazy? Yerks! We use a your cute because guilty, I'm looking at the time right now. Ah! Ah!
Starting point is 00:44:44 Ah! Ah! Ah! Help her in, are we? I'm looking at the time right now. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha tell the story in order to ask you, what are some of the lies that you have told and gotten like caught because they were so crazy. Jesus. Oh my God. I feel like when I was a kid, I feel like I lied a lot. I lied a lot as a little kid, but I feel like I got away with it, but I also think nobody cared. Like, I will watch my nephew lie and I'm just like, that's such a lie.
Starting point is 00:45:26 It's so obvious. But I don't need to argue it. I don't care. So when I think back to myself lying as a kid, I'm like, I probably everyone knew, but then it didn't matter. But I want my big lie that I told to people at school. And it's so silly that I did this
Starting point is 00:45:42 because as you know, I have many names. So that's interesting enough when we're talking about. Beels above. Lucifer. But when you're at school and people are like, what's your middle name? Then I have a story of my, my middle name is Lauren. My name is Dorothea Lauren, Allegra. And then when I was in like first or second grade, I added in that I had two more millenames. So my name was Dorothea Lorna Leigra, Elizabeth Ellen Lapques. And I said that the nurses were named Elizabeth and Ellen. Oh, and they wanted to, like the nurses
Starting point is 00:46:15 when your parents gave first to you. And they wanted to honor them. Yes. Oh, interesting. I had a fake middle name story too. Oh, what was it? I would tell people that my middle name was five. What? Because I was born, because I had, All middle name story too. Oh, what was it? I would tell people that my middle name was five. What?
Starting point is 00:46:26 Because I was born, because I had this. All five, Tom. I had this whole thing where I said my parents, after my older brother was born, my parents didn't think they could have any more kids. And then I was surprised. And I was born the fifth child,
Starting point is 00:46:42 five days late at five in the morning. And is that stuff true? Wow. I was born the fifth child, five days late at five in the morning. And is that stuff true? Wow. I was born the fifth child, yes. Okay. Not five days late. What? Paul was the F stood for five.
Starting point is 00:46:53 I think like seven AM something like that? Two hours earlier. And I said the F stood for five. And most people believed it. It's such a strange. Most people believed it. Lie and why would you lie about it that? Yeah, I would imagine being like, because I didn't, it was also because I didn't, I never prompted it. It was always
Starting point is 00:47:11 when people asked me, right, what does the F stand for? Was it a lie in order to make yourself seem more interesting? Yeah. Or it was also something that just amused me to do. When I was a kid, my friend told me that there was a secret hole in her closet. Oh, you got to use that closet. Oh, thank God. Of course, where you can go to another land where there were like elves and like magical things. Where'd she get this fucking idea? I truly believe I was like, oh my God, it's so cool. Wait, was this your friend CS Lewis? Well, I'm sure it's where she was this your friend C.S. Lewis? Yeah. Well, I'm sure it's where she got the idea.
Starting point is 00:47:46 Right. But at the time, I was just like, I want to go in, but the door goes away. What an amazing thing to like read a book and then say, I'm going to say that happened to me. I feel like kids do that all the time. I think I at one point was humming the deaf leopard song
Starting point is 00:48:05 photograph or something as I had to walk two miles to school. So I on the, okay, photograph. On the two miles, I remember on the two miles back. I remember exactly where I was, what intersection I was at. I was like kind of humming photograph, going, photograph. I turned to my friend, I said, I just wrote this song.
Starting point is 00:48:23 Blah! He goes, you're deaf leopard. I was like, oops. I had a roommate who was dating this guy and they they have like sort of a tumultuous relationship. And then she dumped him. And then he wrote her this, he's like, I wrote this song for you. And it turned out to be an existing song. Right. This is a Squid in the Whale. Yeah. Plot by the way, which I love. And it was like, yeah, I wrote the only part of the Whale that I remember. I was mortified. It's so more because we've all done it. And it was the other book. I think it's talked about on our U2 show about writing poems and stealing
Starting point is 00:49:07 verses. I heard him cop to that. That was wild. Isn't that funny? What, like, as a teen? Yeah. To, like, women he liked and they'd be like, oh my gosh, you're so incredible. But one of the songs that he did that with was very strange.
Starting point is 00:49:19 Oh, yeah, it was song lyrics and he said they were poems, he wrote. Yeah. And then I found it very odd that somebody would read that it was like a weird song choice. You get the same effect by just saying, like, it was song lyrics and he said they were poems. He wrote it. And then I found it very odd that somebody would read that. It was like a weird song toy. You get the same effect by just saying like, I heard these lyrics in Fato Vigil. Oh my God. Yeah, so I remember these two people in drama who were dating and he wrote out the,
Starting point is 00:49:38 or no, she did it. She wrote the Smith's lyrics. It's not like any other love. This one is different because it's us and wrote it and presented it to him. And by the way, he was secretly gay and dating this woman as a cover. And she liked him more, it was all a very tore thing.
Starting point is 00:49:56 But there was one that I just thought of of a really weird lie, where when I was, I think I was five. I think our neighbor friend had a Playboy magazine and showed it to us on the way home from school or something. Jesus. My brother and I, and so five. Yeah, five.
Starting point is 00:50:18 And so we tore out one of the pictures or whatever. I was like, I'm gonna look at this later. We'll be back to check out later. And I remember like going like, oh, I can't have my parents see this. I'll put it under my shirt. Sure. My t-shirt. Just a piece of a magazine.
Starting point is 00:50:34 Yeah, like a page from magazine. I'll put it under my shirt and she'll never know. But I'm wearing like a tight t-shirt. And so I- Even though we were- Even though we were- Look at that photograph. Photograph and that's why I started singing it.
Starting point is 00:50:45 Every time I do a make smell. No, but I so I so my mom says, do you guys not know that song? I don't. Who is it? I guess Nickelback or something. Yeah, I believe it is. No, thanks.
Starting point is 00:50:57 So my mom says, what is that paper you have under your shirt? Oh, so titty model. And I don't know how this works, but I said homework. And she went, okay, and didn't ask to see it. Why would I have homework under my shirt? But that was a close one. That is cute. Before the nurse had been invented.
Starting point is 00:51:17 What did you carry your things in at school? Sure. I don't think I even had homework until I was like 10 or 11. Oh, you were that little. Oh, my God, that's really cool. I was five or whatever. Oh, I'd be looking at that paper if you were five. Give me that.
Starting point is 00:51:33 Yeah, isn't it weird? I don't know why she bought it. I was thinking of that the other day. Like, how did she not just go? Do you ever think there's times when your parents are letting you get away with it? Like, when they're just going, okay, this person's high. No, my parents were very like, I can't deal with it. Like when they're just going, okay, this person's high. I can't deal with this. No, my parents were very like, if you lie about anything, we're going to have a talk about. Yeah. So it's only hell.
Starting point is 00:51:57 But like I do think there's like, there's something kind of like nice about the idea that your mom Yuri is anger. There's something kind of like nice about the idea that your mom probably would not be the case with her, but if she kind of was like, I feel like she has something secret right there, well, I'm gonna have a little secret. No, she would, I mean, they were the type of people who were like searching my room
Starting point is 00:52:15 when I went to camp for a reason. You know, like I remember. Do you expect that to happen and you head stuff for like, here's, oh, here's one that was terrible. Like a little note that said, fuck you, the snoop. I love that. My brother would put notes like that in his drawer because I always would go in his drawers No, yeah, and then I I mean I he would put one that was like get out of this drawer or something, but then I
Starting point is 00:52:37 One time I found it What have we lived to? High times. I'm putting your socks away. But I remember I went to, okay, so the first time I ever drank alcohol, I drank at my friend's house like a shot. And I was like, this is horrible. But then I went to a party when I was 14
Starting point is 00:52:57 where we had, it must have been wine coolers. And I got drunk. And I was like, oh, this is okay, maybe it was 15. So then I was like, I wanna experiment with this. So I hung out outside the grocery store and I asked a guy, like an older guy, hey, do you mind buying me a thing of wine coolers, the old thing, you know, and here's the money.
Starting point is 00:53:18 And two people said no, go away. And then the third was like, yeah, sure, fine. And I hung out outside and he bought me a six pack of wine coolers, Bartles and James, I remember. And I went back to my room and drank them to kind of like try to feel the effects. Oh, I know the story. And so, but then I had, I, and I couldn't even drink all six of the same day or whatever. I think I drank two at a time. I was like, do I feel drunk? Am I trying to figure it out?
Starting point is 00:53:47 But I couldn't get rid of the bottles because my parents would have seen them when they took the garbage cans out or whatever. So I was like, all right, I'll put these in, I'll leave these in my closet and I'll think of them another day. I'll try to figure out the solution another day. Why not?
Starting point is 00:54:03 I'll think of them another day. Well, also I couldn't sneak them out anywhere because my parents were always looking at me. It's kid logic. Like I'll just put that in here and eventually that'll go away. There's probably a bone in your shirt probably. I was a bit. I had one time through a sandwich.
Starting point is 00:54:15 I didn't want to eat in my closet. And when I found it, it was just green. Well, I remember my brother hid his bong in the garage, in a place in the garage. Oh my other bongs. Yes, it was like the hideers' bong. Yeah. No, but that was a way to do it of like,
Starting point is 00:54:34 don't keep anything in your room because my parents would search the room. So it's like he kept his bong in the garage somewhere. But there were probably a million ways around this problem that I wasn't thinking of, but I just put them in and then I went to summer camp and then in the middle of summer camp, I was there for a week. I, all of a sudden went, oh, fuck, they're going to search my room, my bed while I'm gone.
Starting point is 00:54:55 And I have those six bottles there and sure enough, like the minute I went back, I was looking for clues on their faces, they picked me up and they were like, okay, we're gonna talk to you by the way. And. Oh my God, so not fun. Yeah, just another huge long six hour conversation of like, am I an alcoholic? Am I, you know, and I was like, no, I just,
Starting point is 00:55:20 I got, where did you get it? Yeah, where did you get it? How did you, who purchased it for you? All this kind of stuff. And then are you get it? Yeah, where did you get it? How did you purchase it for you, all this kind of stuff? And then are you an alcoholic? Are you doing this all the time? All this, and me just crying going, no, I tried it once. I did, it's just so many of those types of horrible conversations
Starting point is 00:55:38 with my parents. Well, I think I've told you this one, but when my friend and I had a party secretly when her dad went out of town, and then it was really fun, and this was in high school, and then we threw all the stuff away, like four houses down in the trash. It was down.
Starting point is 00:55:52 And then, like, the person who lived there saw the receipt from Domino's and saw the phone number and address and call. What a fucking... I'm like, you? Nark. It was like, it was let it happen like who goes into garbage who goes oh
Starting point is 00:56:08 Pizza boxes. I didn't have pizza here. We didn't have beer probably We had Mike's hard lemonade. What do you do? Do you just go like oh someone used my trash can to throw it away? I definitely wouldn't be thinking I'm gonna be a detective about this and get to the bottle How a kid had a party but I also just would think who gives a fuck. Yeah, who gives one single fuck look that said I've never how a kid had a party. But I also just would think who gives a fuck? Yeah, who gives one? Single fuck. Although that said, I've never had a kid.
Starting point is 00:56:30 I don't even know if kids do this anymore. Do they like hang out and try to get adults to buy them booze? Is that still a thing? I know there's like a sting where like cops will try to try to do it for teenagers and then arrest the teenagers. I don't know if that's so much that people, I can't imagine people still sitting outside
Starting point is 00:56:50 of 7-Eleven waiting, but I feel like there's a lot of ways to get a hook up like now. Like with the internet or whatever, you know someone. That's what I figure too, but I can't, I've never, so it's never happened to me. And I don't know what I would do.
Starting point is 00:57:04 Like if a kid asked me to buy them boots. I probably would say no, just because it's like, you don't want to get involved in that. Yeah, because you never know. I think you have to say no. You don't want to be the person who's like buying it, like contributing to. But I think you go, I'll buy you some skittles.
Starting point is 00:57:20 You just come my van. Come on. And then you get arrested for that. All right, we need to take a break. We'll be right back. Mm-hmm. And we're back. And Lauren, you have a feature that you have to do.
Starting point is 00:57:40 Lauren, here's what I'm hearing. Scott's a feature. Okay, I'm a little bit of a feature little more in history. But yeah, I do. This one is based off of at yummy ponies suggestion. To be embarrassed. It's okay. I'm not really. I'm just a little. It's called incidental. Where are you hiding behind my bike?
Starting point is 00:57:55 Just a little nervous. It's called instrumentals. Each person goes around and mimics the sound of an instrument. And everyone has to try to guess what it is. I think this is like the fruit of the loom. The fruit. My lines is fruit of the loom. We tried to say to my loins. To this vegetable. So did you two this vegetables? Yes. All right, it's got make an instrument sound. One sound. Wait, wait, one sound like a wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, our arms. One note. We're miming the answer. I'm gonna go first. All right, go ahead. Uh, oh, bo.
Starting point is 00:58:55 Wait, no, the big alien spaceship in Closing Catters. Who knows? That's why it's hard! A flute. Okay, no. Okay, I'll try to add a note. This is... You're just singing. Bicycle horn.
Starting point is 00:59:20 Doorbell. Okay, watch my face. Watch my face. Watch your face. Watch your face. What is this not? Are you acting like you're blowing into something? Are you imagining what?
Starting point is 00:59:40 What that answer was. If it were alive I was virtue Trump and has us a sort of emotion that's that can Violin yes, oh god you nailed it. That was your turn. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Starting point is 01:00:30 Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Starting point is 01:00:38 Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. Watch my face. Watch my face. Okay. Oh no. Oh dear. I don't like that.
Starting point is 01:01:00 Huh? Um. Harmonica? Nope. I don't know. Drum. No. Drum, come on. It's definitely not a drum. Clarinet. No.
Starting point is 01:01:16 Is it a woodwind? Nope. Is it a percussion? No. Is it string instrument? There's strings. Piano? Thereman. Nope.. Oh piano night great clever What very clever clever about what?
Starting point is 01:01:33 It is not a viola I didn't say that it wasn't so I said very clever at all Chellow no, I don't know what I'm trying to think of anything. Did I stop you guys? Yeah. Is that mean I'm winning? I guess. Banjo. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 01:01:54 Oh, okay. That's what I think of a bit. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding Yes Brushes on the drums Peach You are close with the first one close with the symbol high hat no, that's a symbol a tambourine. Yes Close with the symbol, hi hat. No. That's a symbol. Timbering. Yes.
Starting point is 01:02:46 Oh, peace. Peace. Peace. Give it a chance. Well, because I went, and then I was like, well, it really has some music to it. Peace. All right. One more for me.
Starting point is 01:02:58 Boom. Base? Drum. No, no, no. No, no. No, no. Timpony, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
Starting point is 01:03:07 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Ed McMahon, who was the co-host or an answer would say, Timbony, and then they go, Wow, 45 million, 800 billion, no way. $3 trillion. No chance. That's not how it goes.
Starting point is 01:03:39 Okay, let's hear it. All right. Kazoo. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
Starting point is 01:03:51 Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm.
Starting point is 01:03:59 Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. I'm just telling you it's not. All right, do you want the backup game? Do you have time? Sure. Okay, this game is called Sinking Story and it comes from Toe Baroney.
Starting point is 01:04:09 Each host takes her in story. Toe Baroney. The other is Toe Baroney. The start of story and the others try to go along with it by saying the same word at the same time. So basically we try to say, let's tell a story at the same time. So all three of us are trying to tell a story.
Starting point is 01:04:23 Okay, sure. I feel like we have time for one round. Yeah, yeah. Are we, sorry, we're all trying to say the same words at the same time? Yeah, but let's say the one person will say the first word. Okay, I'll say the first word. Okay, moreover. I knew it was coming.
Starting point is 01:04:36 He fell down the hole and saw a weirdo. This way, he got his car and drove away more over. He saw. He saw. He got, oh no, he saw. Look at him, look at him. I'm not a bad person. He saw. Oh, he saw. Oh, he saw. Oh, yeah. I'm not a bad guy.
Starting point is 01:05:07 I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.
Starting point is 01:05:15 I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy.
Starting point is 01:05:23 I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. I'm a bad guy. And we're all spaced out too. That's true. We are so far away from each other. We're on different properties. You have to move your head. Hot property. Hot property. Another property. That's a star star star. Well, it was norm, I think it's Norm McDonald's impression of Ed McMahon. Hot property. Oh, it's from star search. Yeah, yeah. I feel like it is. I don't know. Well, this was fun. This was fun. It was fun. We had fun.
Starting point is 01:05:48 A little bit of tension in the middle. From you, yeah. I felt tense because of what you were doing. We were radiating tension, yes. Yeah, we really felt that. Because of your actions, which I had a great time performing. And I enjoyed witnessing. All right. We'll see you next time.
Starting point is 01:06:08 And send us creatures and follow time. The rest of the US. Yes, three to me, USA on Twitter and Instagram send us creatures. And there's still
Starting point is 01:06:15 creatures to each are EE two unheard episodes. If you want to sign up for stitch or premium, uh, there's two more that you haven't heard. Unheard and unheard of. They're, they're just sitting there.
Starting point is 01:06:25 So sign up for St. Tribremium and... You'll get them. And go fuck yourselves. Okay, bye. Bye. Bye. You know

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